The Bee Weekly: Beloved Bee Memories, Conservatism, and Racist Star Wars Fans
Welcome to the end of all things! Join Kyle Mann, Adam Yenser, and beloved Managing Editor Joel Berry for the final podcast in the old studio! The trio discusses popular K-Pop group BTS, Joe Biden's plans for protecting schools (or lack thereof), Pelosi's super drunk husband, and more! The Babylon Bee team also talks about their favorite memories as they bid farewell to the old production studio. Award-winning biblical scholar and political theorist Yoram Hazony sits down for an interview with Kyle and Dan Coats to discuss his new book, Conservatism: A Rediscovery. If you read it, you will become a smart person! This episode is brought to you by our wonderful sponsors who you should absolutely check out: My Patriot Supply at PrepareWithBee.com. Get ready today! Allegiance Gold! Alliance Defending Freedom!
House Speaker Pelosi's husband was arrested for a DUI.
He was pulled over with a blood alcohol level as high as Nancy Pelosi's.
Biden wants to protect kids at schools, but he doesn't believe in taking steps to, you know, protect kids at schools.
Obi-Wan Kenobi has a special message for all Star Wars fans.
Don't be a racist.
Popular K-pop group BTS visited the White House to officially close out Asian Pacific American Heritage Month, which is perfect because they were able to stay one extra day to ring in Pride Month because they're gay.
All this and more on the B Weekly.
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Hey, everyone, welcome to the Bee Weekly, a very special B weekly because this is our last Bee Weekly at this old dingy run-down studio where we have so many memories.
I'm here with Adam Yenser and our managing editor, Joel Berry, who has come in.
He's a country bumpkin from Ohio and he's come out to join us.
So welcome, Joel.
What do you think of these cameras and computers and everything?
All this newfangle equipment.
Yeah.
Well, see, what a lot of people don't know is my office is in a laundry room in my house.
That's where a lot of the B content gets written.
So, you know, I've done.
You got one of those buckets with a washboard.
It's just underwear hanging in the background.
And I do interviews on Fox News, you know, in my laundry room.
You know, complete hick.
Total hick.
It's a little embarrassing.
Yeah, it really is.
Sorry, guys.
Hey, we released a documentary this week called What Is a Man?
Interesting.
What is a man?
Full length.
Well, you have to watch Documentary to find out.
Full length documentary.
We saw Matt Walsh was doing What is a Woman and we wanted to capitalize on that and beat him to the punch.
So we beat him and we came out with What is a Man?
Go check it out on our YouTube channel.
I think you'll be enlightened.
Hey, Joel, what's been going on in the news lately?
Is there anything been happening?
What have we been?
Yeah, okay.
All right.
Well, Biden doesn't believe in hardening schools for defense against shootings.
He just wants more gun control.
I don't know if that's going to help anything.
White House Press Secretary wasn't Kareem Jin Pierce.
His proposals to deal with hardening schools is not something that Biden believes in.
Yeah.
Because the problem is with guns in America.
Yeah, I'm always amazed.
I mean, how ferociously and aggressively and angrily any solutions put forward that are not gun control, how people come after any other ideas.
We really want to do the gun control thing.
I don't understand why you wouldn't do a both and approach.
Like, I know their agenda is like trying to do the gun control.
They're pushing for that.
At the same time, if you have to work with Republicans on something, it's like, can we also beef up the security and stuff?
I don't know.
Do something.
You know, I may be in the minority.
I'm not a big fan of the idea of hardening the schools to the extent that some of them are saying, like, there's these plans to have one entrance and one exit and armed guards everywhere and armed teachers.
It's like, you know what?
TSA agents, metal detectors.
I feel like there has to be another solution.
Like when we grew up and went to public schools, you could get guns then.
This seems to be a cultural problem.
I think it has a lot to do with just the psyche of the country, social media, the attitudes around guns and the way these shootings are recorded and stuff.
And I think there are maybe some compromises on gun control that we can make without doing things like assault weapon bans.
I don't support.
But I wish there were some compromises beyond turning schools into like military lockdown zones.
Yeah, I don't know.
And I just don't, I don't know what the answers are.
You know, that's the hard part.
It's like it is a cultural thing and you can't fix that really with politics.
You know, I mean, we're not helping it with politics, but I don't know if it's something that we could fix.
I'll tell you what the answer is: homeschool.
Homeschool, yeah.
Homeschool.
I'm being a little bit facetious there, but seriously, just homeschool.
It's so easy to, like, I know it's so hard for a lot of people can't do that financially.
But I think us conservatives, you reject the paradigm that to change culture, you need this top-down authoritarian solution.
We do say it's personal responsibility, personal, which is the heart.
It's like the light side versus the dark side to use a Star Trek reference.
That's Star Wars, but you have to do things the hard way.
I think there's, I've heard talk of this idea of micro schools that are, you know, where like maybe one family on a block will take in four or five other families.
And there's government funding, you know, through School Choice that could fund these micro schools, where a couple of mothers teaching could make a full salary just teaching their kids and their friends' kids, which I think is a great idea.
I think a lot of that stuff, if parents can be more involved in their kids' lives, not shipping them off, you know, to be indoctrinated by who knows who, that would do a lot.
That sounds like a country bumpkin talk to me.
So there was a great tweet from the Star Wars account this week where they said there's a new character who's a black Jedi or Inquisitor or something.
I don't know Star Trek very well, but you haven't watched it yet?
I haven't watched Obi-Wan.
I haven't either.
I'm not really interested in that.
I'm very unexcited about I like Mandalorian a lot and I'm kind of up to date on that.
I still haven't watched Book of Blood.
I didn't watch that either.
Which I heard is like starts off kind of slow and then gets good when it becomes more Mandalorian.
So now we're just going to do the Mandalorian.
Yeah, but you know, the Obi-Wan one, they're kind of doing what the Marvel movies did, where there's just, it starts off as a good story and good characters, and they're just doing too many things at once.
And I kind of lose interest in it.
It's quite an accomplishment to get people like us disinterested in Star Wars.
Yeah, it is.
They've done that.
They've managed to do that in a couple years.
I don't even care about these shows anymore, which I never would have said that.
And it's like I used to anticipate, like, oh, there's a new Star Wars thing coming out in a year or two years, or I'm excited about it.
It's a big deal, right?
And now it's like, there's five Star Wars shows coming out tomorrow.
Yeah, if you told me 10 years ago, they were going to do an Obi-Wan show, and I wouldn't care.
I wouldn't have believed you.
But Disney told us Star Wars fans don't be racist because people didn't like the new character that Moses Ingram plays.
So they tweeted, if anyone tends to make her in any way feel unwelcome, we have only one thing to say.
We resist.
There are more than 20 million sentient species in the Star Wars galaxy.
Don't choose to be a racist.
And we resist.
That's obviously a reference to the famous Star Wars characters, The Borg.
What bugs me most about this is they said, we have only one thing to say.
We resist.
And then they went on with another tweet.
They said you said more than one thing.
That's what bothers you most.
It bothers me.
It does.
Because they're like, boom, mic drop.
And then they're like, and also, don't be real.
You know, like, ah, come on.
This drives me crazy.
Because for one thing, you know, this woman, Moses, she's just an actress who won this big role, and it's such a huge deal for her.
You know, good for her.
I think it's terrible what Disney's doing to turn her into like this culture warrior, culture war cudgel, you know, in the anti-racism war.
I just like, I don't know if maybe she signed up for that and that's what she wants.
I don't know.
Wasn't this all because she tweet posted on Instagram or something, like the people that were attacking her?
Apparently, she did get some, she did get some actual harassment.
And see, what I'm not, what I'm never sure about with that stuff is obviously if people are making truly racist comments, which sounds like a few of them were that she posted.
That's bad.
But in all of these millions of people on the internet, there's always a few people that say bad things.
And then, you know, for attention, these companies are like, oh, this is a thing.
People are mad about this.
It's like, no, three guys probably in Ohio are mad about it.
It was me.
They're all kids who are on microscope.
It's so true, though.
This is totally a cynical technique.
It's a marketing ploy.
It draws attention to the most negative things in society when if they just ignored that, no one really has a problem with her being this character.
And do you know what the real crime is, too?
I mean, from what I've heard, I haven't seen the first couple episodes.
Apparently, this character's fairly poorly written.
Just not a very good character.
And so, like, if you're going to have bad writers writing bad characters, don't hide behind race.
Yeah.
Own up to the fact that your writing is crappy, you know?
I mean, if they really wanted to serve this woman, write her as a good character.
This is a strategy we should use at the Babylon P.
Yeah.
Write good?
Oh, we can hire a black person.
And then, yeah.
Yeah, if you don't like our jokes, you're a racist because we have a minority on our staff.
It's true.
Okay, so the other thing, too, was a lot of people responded to that tweet showing the posters, the international posters that Disney has put out of like Black Panther and Star Wars The Force Awakens, where like whenever they're in the case of the China is just like a super racist culture and they always pander to them.
They're just overtly like, we don't like anyone who's not Chinese.
Yeah.
They put a mask on Black Panther so you couldn't see his face.
That's so great.
I like how they put, I wonder what the character in Black Panther wearing that black mask.
I wonder what his race actually is.
They really hit it well.
Oh, gosh.
So good.
Well, Adam, did anything happen with K-pop?
Oh, I'm going to get you up to date on all your K-pop news.
The K-pop group BTS, one of the biggest boy, they're like a boy band from massively.
One of the biggest boy bands in the world.
They visited President Biden in the Oval Office to condemn anti-Asian hate crimes in the U.S. Anti-Asian hate crimes, it says, increased 339% nationwide in 2021, according to a report by the Center for the Study of Hate and Extremism.
I mean, it mostly just seemed like it was this photo op where he posed next to the boy band.
I don't know.
That was weird.
I heard K-pop's approval rating drop to 39% after standing next to Biden.
Does BTS stand for anything?
Watching torture strategies.
Yeah, that's what I always think of the BTK killer when I see that.
So it throws me off.
I don't know.
It's insane how popular that K-pop stuff became, though.
Like, I remember when I was working in TV, I had never heard of this band.
And they came on Ellen at the Warner Brothers lot.
And when I drove in in the morning, lines of kids down the street.
Yeah.
I had never heard of this band.
And they would come out at like five in the morning and just going nuts for this band.
It was like one of the biggest guests we've ever had on.
And a lot of people here have no idea who they are.
It's crazy.
I also think that kind of there's a funny irony in the fact that drawing attention to that there's this huge problem of swelling anti-Asian hate around the world and the most popular band in the world is an is an Asian band.
I don't know.
Maybe that's a well, I never liked it.
They started that whole anti-Asian hate crime, like, what would you call it, meme or social media movement during the Trump administration?
Yeah.
Because there was a rise in attacks against Asian people in the United States, but they tried to link it to Trump supporters, and they hid the identity of the actual perpetrators of this stuff, which were mostly inner city other people in poverty, stuffed urban neighborhoods.
They were not attacking them because Trump said things.
They were not attacking them because they were Trump supporters.
There was this increase in hate crimes, but they tried to politicize it.
And now that it's still happening under Biden, I mean, it's good to speak out against anti-Asian hate crimes, but it's interesting that they don't politicize it the same way that it's not the president's fault anymore.
Yeah.
BTS stands for the Korean phrase Bangten Son Yeon Dan, literally meaningful.
Buy torture kill.
Literally meaning bulletproof Boy Scouts.
So there you go.
Bulletproof Boy Scouts.
Now we know.
They should have just gone with that name.
The Mona Lisa was smeared in cream by suspected climate change protesters.
It was a cake.
Why'd you have to say cream and make it weird?
That's what I'm reading.
I'm reading whoever typed this headline.
My Lisa is smeared with cream.
Well, this was a UK headline, so maybe cream means something different in the UK.
But she was creamed by a suspected climate change protester disguised as an old woman.
What does that have to do with climate change?
I think we fixed it now.
What did Leonardo da Vinci do?
This is great.
Destroy the planet.
If he's like an Adam Sandler movie or something.
The perpetrator was a man disguised as an old lady who jumped out of a wheelchair before attacking the glass.
So he didn't even get to the Mona Lisa.
It was on the glass.
That's good.
Oh, that's good.
Yeah, the Mona Lisa is perfect.
You know, this is going to turn out to be the next jackass movie or, you know, who is it?
War at movie.
Maybe the impractical jokers.
They were in his ear.
Now smeared cake on the Mona Lisa.
Cream the colour.
Ruin the priceless painting.
Cream the Mona Lisa.
Else you'll lose this episode.
And then the guy yelled out something.
He yelled out, what does it say there?
Think of the earth.
People are destroying the earth.
He said in French.
Which probably sounded beautiful.
I have it in French.
hold on it's uh so that's what he yelled Beautiful in French.
Wow, I could have listened to that all day.
Yeah, it's just beautiful.
Sounds really good in French.
It probably sounds crazy in German, but.
Germans love destroying the earth.
Well, and the funny thing is, is after he smeared the Moda Lisa, the value went up by like $30 million.
And it was sold as an NFT worth $500 million.
Wow.
Treasure in Heaven is great, but it's not going to buy you a tank of gas.
So let's take a moment to briefly review the current state of our economy and the global effect the war between Russia and Ukraine has had.
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Joel, how's Kirk Cameron doing these days?
Oh, my buddy Kirk Cameron.
Yeah.
Yeah, so Kirk Cameron says the public school system is doing more for grooming and for leftist politics and sexual chaos and racial confusion than they are doing any real educating about truth, beauty, and goodness.
Amen.
I'd say that's probably true.
Yeah, so he got trending yesterday on Twitter.
People were going after him over this.
But I thought it was great.
And we have a tweet here.
This is from Joel Berry who wrote, Kirk Cameron is the friggin' man.
Oh, wow.
Quote tweeted him.
Fire tweet, bro.
Yeah, yeah.
So someone had to, you know, you know, be on Kirk's side there.
So I guess the Chinese were financing the Top Gun Maverick movie.
And the financer bowed out.
Financier, how do you say that?
And so after that, Top Gun Maverick restored the Taiwanese and Japanese flag patches in the movie.
Good.
Well, they're going to have them, I guess.
They're going to make their money.
You guys see Top Gun Maverick?
No, I've heard only Amazing Things.
It's so much fun.
It's just a classic 90s movie experience.
It's like, you know, a pretty cliched storylines, but it's exactly what you want in a movie.
It's so entertaining and fun.
I heard it was better than the first.
See, I don't even know if I ever saw the first one.
I know the story of it just from cultural references, but I don't know that I ever actually sat down and watched the original Top Gun.
I watched it like in high school when someone said, you haven't seen Top Gun.
Yeah.
And then showed it to me.
And I was like, okay, well, there were airplanes.
Yeah.
It's just a very good one.
This one's fantastic.
And there's definitely enough context in it that you don't have to know the first one well to do it.
My friend kept wanting to watch the volleyball scene over and over again, which I thought was a little weird.
Just the two of you?
Hey, you want to come over and watch the volleyball scene again?
Yeah.
Which, in retrospect, did they have a volleyball scene in the new one?
I won't ruin it, but I think you'll be satisfied.
That's what I was hoping you'd say.
We got a banger of the week this week.
Banger of the week.
LeBron confused by hockey players who get back up after getting knocked down.
Hey, I like it.
It's not that political.
It's not political.
Everyone enjoys watching hockey players act a lot tougher than basketball players like LeBron.
I went to a minor league hockey game, the Ontario Rain here, and it was so incredible because they don't care at all.
They don't give an F. They're just punching each other the whole game.
The second period, like the ref's going up to blow the whistle and drop the puck or whatever, and he goes up and two guys are screaming at each other from across the line.
And the second, the second period starts, these two guys tackle each other.
And you're like, okay, stop the play.
And everybody's cheering, and it's just wonderful.
Hockey is definitely, I think, the most exciting sport to watch live.
So fun.
So much fun.
It is so fun to be there.
Yeah.
You know, that's the, I feel like basketball would be so much more fun to watch if they modified the rules a little bit to where it's not stopping every 30 seconds for a foul.
Yeah.
They should legalize like elbowing, getting a little more physical.
Like, I think that would make it.
You're right.
They should be allowed to be a little more physical before they blow the walls and tap people into the.
Yeah.
It'd be awesome.
Same with soccer.
I would love if soccer you could just tackle people.
Soccer, it's pretty common for players to like fake injuries to get they do it in basketball, but it's not as blatant as soccer.
If you look up soccer flopping gifts, it's just like people just six feet away.
Whoa!
It's an art form.
It's like when you're a kid and you're trying to get your brother in trouble.
It's like, ah, ah, my arm.
He broke my arm.
Yeah.
LeBron.
I love making fun of LeBron.
Yeah.
It's great.
Bum of the week.
Embarrassing mix-up as Joseph wears coat of many colors during Pride Month again.
Rainbow flags all month long.
I feel like that's one where, like, maybe it would have done a little better rephrased or a slightly different angle.
I like it.
Yeah.
I like the funny visual.
I like the notes that.
Did Dan write these up?
I like the notes we're supposed to say about it.
Rainbows are about promise, not perversion.
All of our corporate overlords will bombard us with messaging and logos for a whole month.
Yeah, it's true.
It's true.
Well, speaking of awesome corporations, eight weeks ago, we debuted a new feature to the podcast called Sizzler Facts, and it has left us all sizzling.
This is, I think, what you guys are going to find is the most amazing Sizzler factor.
I can't wait.
In 1991, a masked man robbed a Sizzler in La Mesa, California.
He might have gotten away with it, but the manager of the restaurant recognized his voice as that of Kenneth Villegas, assistant manager of a Sizzler in El Cajon.
The police were able to request a search warrant based on witness testimony and recovered the cash from his home.
It sounds like Kenneth Viegas might be dead now, but we're not 100% sure.
So he was a Sizzler manager who robbed another Sizzler.
He was assistant manager of a different Sizzler.
And he goes, Ken?
Is that you?
That's fantastic.
That's a great story.
I like the idea of like territorial Sizzler clans like warring like Viking tribes, you know, for supremacy.
Zanku Chicken is like that.
Are they really?
There's two warring families that own the Zanku name.
Yeah, that's fantastic.
This has been Zanku Chicken Fact.
This has been Sizzler.
I always try to work in another restaurant.
Sizzler Facts.
Stay on brand, Adam.
Sizzler.
And now we have the B radio from our own Austin Robertson.
Factually inaccurate.
Morally correct.
This is Babylon B Radio.
Our top story.
A senile old man in Washington who has a deadly nuclear arsenal at his fingertips is calling for dangerous weapons to be taken out of the hands of the mentally unstable.
Listen, folks, this shouldn't be difficult.
The mentally unstable shouldn't have guns.
It's dangerous.
Think of what could happen, Jack.
They could fire it blindly through their front door because they heard a noise.
Or leave it right out in the open where a Taliban terrorist could pick it up or accidentally kill innocent people they thought were bad guys but turned out to be foreign aid workers.
The man then dove face first into the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool because he thought he saw an ice cream cone there.
Many Democrats are warning of chaos and death if mentally unstable people such as themselves ever get their hands on a firearm.
It would be a disaster.
Think of putting weapons in the hands of people who can't even define what a woman is.
I shudder at the thought.
Please disarm us immediately.
It's real simple.
Guns, tanks, drones, nukes, all that stuff.
We gotta take those away from people who aren't mentally fit.
At airtime, the senile man was on the run after taking an ice cream cone he mistook for a handgun out of the hands of a tourist.
A lifeguard at the San Fernando community pool reportedly refused to jump in and save a drowning child who was fighting for his life in six feet of water because it would constitute risking his life.
The lifeguard in question, Peter Stroll, claimed to be following standard lifeguarding procedure.
Are you kidding?
I can't save you right now.
I might drown.
According to the procedure, I will block all access to the pool and call for highly trained Coast Guard rescue divers to arrive.
I can't just stand here.
I'm going in.
Sir, I can't let you risk your own life.
Let me do my job.
Do your job.
Save him.
Sir, please.
It's a liability for me to risk my life.
Do you know how much the city would have to pay my family?
Hundreds of dollars.
The child was eventually rescued when a group of parents overpowered the masculine lifeguard and braved the dangerous chlorinated waters.
Authorities arrived on the scene shortly after to assess the child's health and arrest everyone who tried to save the child.
Lifeguard Peter Stroll was later awarded a key to the city by the mayor for extreme bravery in following procedure to keep the city free of liability.
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has put on her angry eyebrows after hearing that her husband was arrested for drunk driving over the holiday weekend.
Yes, I am very angry.
As you can see by my very expressive eyebrows, my husband is being unfairly mistreated.
He was totally fine to drive.
My blood alcohol is twice the legal limit at all times, and I can drive no problem.
Pelosi was allegedly in Rhode Island at the time of the accident, drinking a gallon of wine when the news broke, but was unable to make an official statement until the following day due to a massive hangover.
Good morning.
Sunday morning.
Her spokesperson has claimed the comically angry eyebrows are a form of peaceful protest against the Napa County Police Department, which Pelosi now intends to defund.
Local man Dale Smithers is bemoaning the passing of the good old days back when country music was about the kind of hoes you farm with.
Hose millenniums messed up country music.
I'm old enough to remember the days when they sang about tractors and horses in their trusty steel gardening home.
Now all their songs are about one-night stands with hoes, meaning loose women of ill repute.
What is this country coming to?
Smithers insists true country music listeners should stick to the classics when artists sang about their dog dying or killing men in Reno just to watch them die.
I dare you what?
Back then, men was men.
In related news, millennial country music listeners complained to reporters about the good old days when country music was about female hoes instead of drag queen hoes.
In record time, Hell's construction crew has completed work on their new extra-hot section of Hades.
Hell's general contractor Ichabod Wormwood confirms that this offshoot of the Lake of Fire is in closer proximity to the white-hot furnace flames and has been prepared for people who bring children to drag shows.
Yes, sir, e.
We signed on for the job the same minute we saw the work request.
For jobs like this, I'm not in it for the money.
I take satisfaction in Draconian measures against people who take young, innocent children to new sex shows featuring grown men dressed as women.
Sources confirm that plans to place this ultra-hot section of hell next to the amateur handbelt choir practice rooms for additional torment were scrapped over concerns of cruel and unusual punishment.
George Lucas has put up his own billboards in response to the Disney billboards promoting their latest Star Wars shows.
The famed director and creator of Star Wars appeared to be mocking the very company he sold Star Wars to for their lackluster efforts to make passable content.
I was once ridiculed for Star Wars, but look who's laughing now.
Who's everyone's favorite director again?
That's right, me, the same guy who wrote Phantom Menace.
Honestly, I feel like I should be thanking the directors of the sequels, Jan Solo, Boba Fett, and Kenobi.
They are making Jar Jar, as well as Anakin's lines about sand, look like Shakespeare.
Since the billboards have gone up, Lucas has been overwhelmed by the positive support of many who had forgotten how great they had it.
Fans said they remembered a long time ago when villains were villains and not friendly mayors on Tatooine, at a time when Star Wars told truly mythic and timeless stories instead of aping Marvel action comedy.
Disney has responded to the billboard campaign by announcing 32 new Star Wars spin-offs and revealing that Han Solo was gay the whole time.
Now you're up to date on the only news that matters.
Find more fake news you can trust at BabylonBee.com.
Until next time, this is Austin Robertson, the voice of the Babylon Bee.
So long.
Thank you, Austin, for that.
And now it is time for weekly news with Adam Junzer.
It's time for the weekly news with Adam Jenser.
Last weekend was Memorial Day weekend when we honor the memory of those who served and arrested those who were overserved.
It's Nancy Pelosi's husband who was charged with DUI on Sunday after crashing his Porsche in Napa Valley.
Apparently, since Nancy is banned from taking communion, he decided to drink enough communion for both of them.
The K-pop boy band BTS visited the White House on Tuesday to meet with President Biden in the Oval Office.
And if you're not familiar with these guys, there's the cute one, the cool one, the funny one, the shy one, the bad boy, the athletic one, the smart one, and the senile old one who caused inflation and handed Afghanistan to the Taliban.
Hey, I know that one.
Former Hillary Clinton campaign lawyer Michael Sussman was acquitted of lying to the FBI as part of the Durham investigation.
Can you put me in jail anyway?
He begged.
It's the only place she can't get me.
Although she got Epstein in there.
A man disguised as an old woman in a wheelchair smeared cake on the Mona Lisa, but the painting was protected behind glass.
It's so hard to tell whether she likes the cake or not.
Top Gun Maverick made $357 million this weekend, becoming Tom Cruise's biggest opening ever.
I saw it in one of those giant IMAX screens, which made him look over five feet tall.
Coming in second at the box office was Doctor Strange and the multiverse of madness.
The premise of this movie is that there are 14 million multiverses, and Doctor Strange has to jump the shark in every one of them.
A rare 3.1 magnitude earthquake struck Tennessee on Tuesday, and according to reports from Dollywood, she's still jiggling.
The trailer for Disney's live-action Pinocchio starring Tom Hanks was released this week.
In it, Tom Hanks tries to turn a wooden puppet into a real boy to replace his actual son, Chet Hanks.
According to a new report, lifeguards on the beach in Los Angeles can make over $500,000 a year, while those guys with metal detectors on the beach can make over $3.75 a year.
Moses Ingram, who plays Reva in the new Obi-Wan series, posted a series of racist messages she received from Star Wars fans for being black.
This doesn't even make any sense because she's not the first black Star Wars character.
Lando Calrissian was the first black Star Wars character, even though the first black Star Wars character was introduced in episode 5, and Reva, the last first black Star Wars character, was introduced between episodes 3 and 4, which actually makes her the second first black Star Wars character, while Finn, the second first black Star Wars character, was technically introduced in episode 7, making him the last first black Star Wars character.
That's it for the weekly news.
To see more, check out my YouTube channel, and you can catch me live at JR's Comedy Club in Valencia this Saturday.
That was great, Adam.
Thank you for telling us your jokes.
Now we're talking to Yoram Hazoni.
Did I get that right?
And he is the author of Conservatism: a Rediscovery, which is a big book filled with information.
And Dan, I think you poked through the book, and Dan has been exploring these kinds of topics.
So me and Dan sat down and talked with them.
Great interview, great guy.
And he also got to answer the 10 questions.
So let's take a watch.
Hey, Babylon B listeners, Kyle here.
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That's adflegal.org/slash b-e-e.
Yoram, thanks so much for coming on.
Thank you.
It's great to be on the show.
What's the deal with conservatives?
Huh?
What's the deal with them?
Well, how about this for the deal?
The deal is that after all of these decades of trying to build a conservative movement, the young people under 30 are overwhelmingly convinced that conservatism doesn't conserve anything at all.
And they're becoming extremely, painfully cynical about it.
That's the deal.
The question is, what are we going to do?
So what are we going to do?
What I try to do in this book is I try to answer some of those questions as unflinchingly as I can.
The first big question is, what would a society actually look like if it were actually going to conserve and preserve anything at all, institutions, behaviors, ideas from one generation to the next?
And I propose, I take this argument on two levels.
There's what needs to be done at the national level and then at the personal level.
Yeah, so you wrote this book.
It's called Conservatism or Rediscovery.
And so my first question to you, because I think a lot of people will say they're conservative, and you're already talking about how people say they're conservative and they're actually liberal.
To you, what's your definition of conservatism?
I don't think it's worth getting in the weeds into all these tiny taxonomies because I think people are asking a very fair question and I think it deserves like a straight answer.
And I think the straight, simple answer is that liberalism and conservatism are two different things.
They have been allied in the past, but if we can't think clearly about the difference between being a liberal and being a conservative, then I think we're kind of lost.
But it begins with the question of what do we need to do in order to be able to preserve and strengthen our society going from one generation to the next.
And as soon as you ask that kind of question, then you start to see that, well, society is made up of families and tribes and nations, and they have a tendency to compete and fight with one another.
And as soon as you see that, then you start saying, okay, so what do we need to do in order to get the fighting to stop?
I write a lot about it, about the honor that different parts of the society need to give one another, starting within the family and then going up to the nation as a whole.
And a fair conservative or liberal reader will come away from this saying, wow, liberalism, conservatism really are two different things.
And maybe I'm on the spectrum in between them or something, but it's worth keeping them clear.
Did you have any kind of journey to conservatism?
Or did you like just grow up on a farm or something?
Well, a little bit of both.
I mean, I did not grow up on a farm.
I grew up in the house of an instructor in physics in Princeton, New Jersey.
But he had all sorts of very, very strong conservative views.
And I kind of inherited a lot of them.
In the book, I have a chapter about going to college and meeting my wife, Julie, a few weeks after we got there.
Both of us came from broken families.
I detail some of what was involved there.
And both of us were looking to try to understand how is it possible to create something that we'd seen, a conservative family in which husband and wife stayed together their entire lives, despite all sorts of hardships.
And God's blessings are tangible and real despite the hardships.
And we did it.
We plugged ourselves into the chain of transmission.
Uh of uh, an orthodox Jewish congregation, and uh, and built a conservative life for ourselves and our our, our children.
I can't say it hasn't been hard, but but it works.
So my understanding, progressives are all about the future and progress, and conservatives they're all about going backwards to some mythical past.
Right well, I actually think that the progressive future is more mythical than the, than the conservative past.
I mean, try to get them to tell you what actually is this new society that they're going to build.
They the, the.
The current Neo-marxists can't, the woke Neo-marxists can't tell you any better than the old marxists could.
None of them could ever tell you what that future society is going to look like.
Conservatism is is uh, a little bit more complicated, um, the assumption of thinkers like uh, like Burke or or, or the American Federalists who who uh, who wrote the American constitution and founded the the, the National Republic.
Their kind of conservatism is based on the assumption that um, that we've inherited lots and lots of really great things from many centuries of tradition, and where the going gets really interesting with thinkers like that is uh, is when things start to go off the rails, uh, the.
The difference between them and other other types of political thought is that they they start looking for the place where the things went off the rails.
You can never, you know you, you can never entirely go back, but that's what they're looking for and that's what conservatives today also have to do.
You're trapped on an elevator with a libertarian um.
You have about 30 seconds before the doors open.
Um, this libertarian hates socialism and progressivism and doesn't trust the government.
How do you convert them to a traditional conservative?
First of all, I don't.
I've been arguing with these folks for 40 years.
I don't convert them.
The basic difference between their the libertarian view and the conservative view is that the libertarians are never willing to talk about what it would take to to to maintain a given society or country for the next five generations.
They have no interest in this.
They're only willing to tell you that that if you're free to obey your rights, then you'll you know, you'll be able to solve all the problems.
But it isn't true.
We can see it's not true.
So it seems like um, with conservatism, it's just a different idea of how we go forward in the future.
Right?
So there's no such thing as a conservative argument that says, no, you're not allowed to, you're not allowed to change your country in order to make it uh healthier and more just and more cohesive that that.
That doesn't exist.
The question is is, how?
How do you go about doing that?
What they created in the 1960s was, instead of a a particular uh focused attack on persecution in America of blacks, they created a general purpose tool for uh eliminating distinctions, a lot of them very necessary distinctions between any category of people that you can come up with or imagine and that has really harmed America.
Uh, it was.
That's not a conservative repair, that's like a revolutionary utopian repair.
So you don't sound very woke.
I am mostly asleep because of jet lag.
I hope that the things I'm saying are semi-coherent, and I'm going to be real embarrassed if it turns out they're not.
It kind of seems like the Republican Party, which in our country is seen as the conservative party, they kind of have different ideas right now about how to be conservative.
So you have like the Donald Trump version of Republican, and then you have maybe the David French version.
Those are just two guys off the top of my head, but what are your thoughts on that?
I've told you to stop spitting every time you say David French, Dan.
What are my thoughts?
Look, the mainstream American conservatism since the 1950s and 60s was this contraption that Bill Buckley put together that they called fusionist conservatism.
The basic idea was we emphasize liberalism and freedom in our public life, and we emphasize religion and tradition and virtue in our private life.
And that worked great on a couple of crucial things.
I mean, the purpose of that was to defeat the Soviet Union and roll back socialism.
And that's what they did.
They succeeded.
They succeeded in defeating the Soviet Union and rolling back socialism.
The problem is that that posture that all you need is liberty and freedom, individual liberties in public life, is completely incapable of sustaining anything.
And by the time you have two generations of kids going to school, to schools that have been stripped completely clean of even the slightest hint that the Bible provided the political and moral framework and foundation for America.
And the teachers are not allowed to acknowledge God, and they're not allowed to pay any kind of respect to these kinds of traditional beliefs.
The kids come out of it totally incapable of giving honor to these things because they can see that the school dishonors God and scripture by their absence.
So we end every interview with our 10 questions.
The 10 questions.
But the very first question is, have you ever met Carmen?
Nope.
Okay, question number two.
Are you a Calvinist or an Arminian?
I think that the proper term is Erastian.
The Erastians believe that there is no way to separate church and state, and that the government needs to take responsibility for the public religion and virtues of their people, because if they don't, then we end up with the mess we have.
All right.
I think you dodged the question, but we'll allow it.
I like that answer, though.
That's good.
You can add one book to the Bible.
What do you add?
We're not allowed to add books to the Bible.
If you're hung up on it, it's just another way of saying, like, what's another really good book?
Completely unrelated question.
It's your second favorite book.
I bet I could have figured that out without your helping me, but I recommend this small book by a guy named John Fortescue.
He was the chief justice in England, believe it or not, in the 1400s.
He's a little book called In Praise of the Laws of England.
People who think that America was born out of the Enlightenment should go back and read this guy, wrote this book in the 1470s, which explains That the greatness and freedom of England is a result of the separation of powers and the balance between the branches of government, the unitary executive and the bicameral legislature.
I mean, you just go on and on.
He reads like a civics text, like an introductory civics text for high schoolers now, but he wrote this 500 years ago.
And I think it's really important for Americans to start to understand that there are deep, deep, deep historical traditions that feed the greatness of the U.S. cigars or pipes?
Pipes, they smell better.
Good answer.
Good answer.
It's true.
True.
Who do you hang out with?
Any three people, living or dead?
And you're not going to tell me that I'm not allowed to include the Bible, right?
Well, you can't pick Jesus.
You can pick other people in the Bible, but not Jesus.
Jesus isn't in the Jewish Bible.
Well, I mean, because I mean, I can pick up.
I'm talking about the real Bible.
All right, Touche.
So, yeah, people I'd like to hang with.
Moses, Theodore Herzl, the founding father of the state of Israel.
And I would really, really like to hang out with this guy, Governor Morris.
He drafted the American Constitution, and it's annoying that everybody's forgotten that he did it.
Whiskey or beer?
Whiskey.
So next question: first thing that you would do as president?
You know what?
I know this is unoriginal, but I think that the energy stuff is just insane.
I mean, the being unwilling to allow the United States to produce usable energy at a time when everything is spiraling towards disintegration.
It's a transition period right now.
It's transitory.
You must not have heard the White House statement.
You get to be part of an incredible transition, sir.
You know, there's too much transitioning going on.
I think, what do they say in Washington?
I want to stop it until we can find out what's going on.
All right.
Have you ever punched anyone or been punched?
Yeah.
What's your best punching story?
Well, there was this guy in a car behind me on the street in a residential neighborhood in Jerusalem.
And I was trying to figure out whether to turn left or right.
And he didn't like that I was sitting there in the traffic.
So he got out of the car, walked over this, walked over to the window and started saying, which means I will take you apart piece by piece.
And then he reached into the car and started shaking me.
And so I punched him in the mouth.
And he let go, but he kept saying, I'm going to take you apart piece by piece.
So I punched him in the mouth again.
I think I did three or four times.
And it was sort of shocking that he was still saying that he would take me apart, but he stopped grabbing at me.
So it was effective.
I really thought this story was going to be about how he got punched.
No, yeah.
Yeah, he turned it around on us.
That's good.
That's good.
I like it.
But was I supposed to talk about maybe meeting?
No, It's great.
Yeah.
The way you set it up, it sounded like you're about to get beat up.
Beat up.
Yeah.
But yeah, but it didn't work.
He just didn't, he didn't want to be punched in the mouth.
All right.
Next question.
One concert.
Any band in history?
Who do you see?
I guess it's Fleetwood Mac.
Good call.
Good call.
All right.
Final question.
Do you want to accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior right now?
Not today, no.
It wasn't a no, was it?
Well, he did say no, but not today.
I was just being polite.
Thanks for joining us, Iram.
This has been awesome.
Yeah, thanks so much.
Okay, really.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Good to see you back.
And then everybody go get conservatism or rediscovery.
God bless you.
We have breaking news now.
This is just in.
Just in this just happened.
Big news.
You know, there's been a nationwide shortage of baby formula.
Joe Biden has announced a big solution to this.
Yeah.
Mr. President.
Today we're announcing the United Airlines has agreed to offer cargo space for Kendall NutriCare for the delivery of 3.7 bottles of the formula.
Oh, that's fantastic.
There you have it.
Well, there's 3.7 bottles of baby formula on the way.
Crisis averted.
Yeah.
Wow.
What a guy.
Yeah.
What a guy.
Well, everyone, this is our last episode that we're recording here at the old office.
There might be a couple that are going to trickle out here from interviews that we've done that are still stacked up in the backlog.
You'll get to see how far behind we are when it's two months from now and we're still have an interview.
So, man, we're really excited.
We got this nice big place kind of nearby.
We're not too far.
But we got to.
Yeah, where's the new place?
I'll say the address for you because you like doing that.
But we're excited.
We have a big podcast production space now.
We have a large space for studio.
So much room for activities.
We've got a lot of fun stuff coming down the pipeline for you guys.
We had to talk about a few memories at this place.
And if anybody had any stories about things that happened here or particular things you got, let's bring them up.
I got a list.
I could start if you guys want, and then we can have people jump in.
I just remember the first, when we moved in here, we had three people, I think, and we had a small U-Haul box truck and we moved everything ourselves, which was wild.
And when we got here, we were like, wow, this is so much bigger than we need.
We don't know what to do with all these rooms.
And now we're now, I really liked shooting the motorcycle sketch that we did, the motorcycles identified as a bicyclist, because that came together in a crazy way.
And we had to rent a motorcycle and we had a bunch of people show up and ride bikes.
And we didn't have a shoot location until the last second.
And we were like, we couldn't find a street to shoot on that shot where the motorcyclist drives by the bicyclists.
And we were just like, well, we're like looking around.
How's that street?
And we just did it right out of here.
No shooting permits or anything.
Like, probably could have gotten in trouble.
There was a time I was tied to a chair and DoorDash showed up.
We were doing a sketch where Snopes had been holding me hostage with a gun or something.
And I was like, oh, no, help.
Snopes has got me.
And then this guy just opens the door and walks in with the DoorDash.
And he's staring at me.
And I'm like, oh, it's, you know, he's like, no, no, I don't want to know.
And he puts the stuff down and he's like walking out.
I'm like, no, it's for a video.
It's for me.
He's like, I don't care.
I don't care.
He closed the door and walked out.
You're the third tied up person he had probably seen that day.
If you watched some of the early videos here, the video quality was terrible.
And we had consulted with somebody who was telling us which video cameras to buy.
And apparently they told us the worst possible video cameras that you could possibly buy.
I hate when people do that.
I feel like because I know nothing about technology, anytime I ask for advice, someone who I just don't know how to evaluate their opinion, they're like, oh, you have to get this one.
I'm like, oh, I'll get that one.
That's the one, huh?
And you show it to the next day.
He's like, oh, why'd you get that one?
Why'd you get that one?
So that's what Brandon did.
He sent us a video in, and it looked really good.
And he's shot it in his garage.
And he's like, hey, Babylon B.
So your videos look terrible.
Let me help you.
Let me hire me and I will make your videos look good.
Oh, that's awesome.
So we did.
And he did.
It's been amazing, yeah.
There was the time Dan and I were playing Call of Duty Warzone after work, and I got a solo victory.
I enjoyed that.
There was a time we discovered Clyde's Nashville hot chicken, and we made Dan eat it for seven weeks straight.
There was a time that Ethan was rubbing dirt all over himself in the alley to look like a hick.
And then those two ladies walked by that were like professionals like going into the medical building here.
I don't remember all the details of that.
I just remember he was like rubbing dirt off.
I wasn't here for that.
When you say, it sounds like he's like doing like biblical repentance.
Like he's just throwing dust himself.
There was a time Larry Elder hucked an egg at Gavin Newsom's face.
I've always enjoyed relaxing outside, throwing disc golf in our discs in our disc golf basket.
There's been a few times we've had guests of note come up or people that I'm interviewing or whatever, and we're sitting by the trash can smoking cigars, which is a nice professional way to introduce yourself.
And finally, when we moved in here about a week later, the building next down, next door burned to the ground because some upset customer threw a Molotov cocktail through the window.
And then the building.
Really?
Yeah, like that.
Did you ever heard the story?
Yeah, they burned that down.
Antifa attacked them and not you.
That's what it was.
I guess there was like a disgruntled customer.
We were the real target.
Yeah, they missed the building.
They were one number off.
And then the building over there, the roof collapsed in the wind.
So we're the last one standing in this parking lot.
Well, any other memories?
You guys want to go and then we can cycle some people in?
You know, mine was going to be when Larry Elder was here.
He was one of my favorite guests.
And I love that we pitched to him based off that egg story where that woman attacked him in a gorilla mask with an egg.
And we said, hey, do you want to throw an egg at a picture of Gavin Newsub?
And he was 100% gay.
It was so much fun.
He threw, what, three and then hit it?
Yeah.
Can we edit it down to just one?
He didn't want us to show that.
He didn't want us to show that, but I think you can tell from the editing that he's like, okay, I'll try again.
He was great to talk to.
He was really fun.
And then one of my first memories here is when I came to, I started off as just a guest on the podcast when I was doing stand-up.
Ethan and you guys invited me here, and that was my first experience with the B.
And now I've been working with you guys full-time.
So that feels awesome.
And I'll always remember when it was probably my maybe third week here when I was freelancing.
And there's always a struggle to figure out where we're going to eat lunch.
And you guys are like, oh, there's this great Mexican restaurant down there.
So I was like, oh, I'll get a chicken burrito.
And I had food poisoning all that week.
And I was making puke and diarrhea.
And I could feel the pain radiating from the burrito in my stomach.
And it was just awful.
The pain was in the exact shape of a burrito.
I could feel it radiating from the burrito in my stomach all weekend.
It's the place right across the street here.
Yeah, and every time we won't be around that.
Every time we suggest tacos, we were going to walk to tacos.
And I was like, oh, I'm down for that.
And he's like, wait.
Is it that place?
Yeah.
I have like post-traumatic stress disorder from that.
Hell, me, I across the street here.
I guess it doesn't matter anymore.
Now they'll have to find the new office.
Donkey.
Marshmallow.
Marshmallow.
I told him.
Marshmallow.
Well, Joel, you've only been here like twice, but you haven't.
I've been here a handful of times, but I was working here full-time long before I made my first visit out here.
So I'd been working and writing and obviously watching the podcast.
So it was kind of surreal, you know, for the first time driving up to this little, the B seems like such a larger than life, you know, cultural phenomenon.
And you walk up to this kind of nondescript, unmarked building and open it up, and you just see all the glorious things all over the wall that are on the podcast and the paraphernalia.
It's just so surreal seeing it for the first time.
And an experience I'll never forget.
I guess the other thing, too, is that for anyone who works here, you'll know that Kyle is always trying to get a board game started.
So anytime there's a downtime or we have a little bit of free time, he's always pulling a game off a shelf and setting it up on the board trying to get something going, which is fun.
But it's sad, but it's exciting.
The new place is going to is, I saw it for the first time yesterday, and it's amazing.
It's really cool.
There's going to be so much space.
The video content and the things that they're going to be able to do with that space, I'm just excited to see.
And really, really thankful to see the growth in the last couple of years.
So, yep.
And now look at this.
Travis is here.
Hey, Travis.
How'd you get here, Travis?
I've always been here.
Oh, I'm glad.
I've enjoyed your company.
Thank you.
Travis, what are your favorite memories from the former B office?
Well, you know, I haven't been here super long.
All right.
What's next?
Probably my favorite memory is the first time Joel was here after I was hired.
And I was working in Kyle's office from a stool as my desk.
And I was just really starstruck at the time with everything still.
Now you guys are all lame and boring.
But I remember getting really excited about some idea I had.
And I was pretty much told, you don't need to pitch anything yet.
We want you just to write what we tell you to write.
And so I just had this idea and I went, Kyle, I have a great idea.
Can I pitch it?
And he just looks at me and goes, so I didn't really know what to think of that at the time.
Now I know it means he loves me.
That's really sweet.
Yeah.
That's it.
It was funny.
God, Brandon's here now.
Oh, who's that?
How did you get here?
I don't know.
Someone just.
What is your favorite memory, Brandon?
Oh, man, so many memories in this place in this cramped little shack in someone's backyard.
This was actually formerly a garden shed that we converted into an office space.
But I mean, man, so many memories.
More recently, one of my favorite memories has been we've been working on the book, and we had this hidden art team in the building the entire time.
So Bettina and Travis and myself were the kind of core group of the art team.
And we decided to have an art day for the book, for just drawing things and all being on the same page.
And we ordered Chinese food, or as my people like to call it, food.
And it was just a really fun day.
And another standout memory is when we shot G.I. Pat, and it was just us sitting on the floor, grown men playing with toys.
And I was like, I get to do this for a living.
And just this building has been so many things to so many people.
It's been, we've shot in this building and it's been, it's been Afghanistan.
It's been multiple torture chambers.
It's been a jail.
And that wasn't even for a sketch.
Correct, yeah.
It's been a doctor's office.
It's been a press conference room, living room, a late night show, backstage.
It's been a restaurant.
And speaking of restaurants, that was one of my favorite sets to build.
I spent a lot of time building this restaurant sketch and just going for hours and hours.
I think I left many times like after midnight, just trying to turn this place into a restaurant, just jamming out Bill Warts by myself with no one else to distract me.
And waking up and shooting that sketch the next day, that stands out.
That stands out to me.
I am.
Did we build the restaurant?
Remember when we did the identify as vaccinated t-shirt?
Yeah.
Did we build that host stand and stuff before you did the full-on restaurant?
So that was like the precursor to the full restaurant.
Oh, I'm pretty far from the mic.
Sorry.
Sorry, Dan.
So at that point, I think we had just built the foyer.
Yeah, we did that like, yeah.
And we didn't have a podium.
So the podium in both of those sketches is just cardboard boxes stacked on top of each other and like a tablecloth around it or a curtain.
Yeah.
The smoke and mirrors that's happening right off the screen is always amazing.
But guess what?
We're getting a new building and we're getting a podium.
It's happening, guys.
It's happening.
Subject to expense approval.
We're getting a podium.
If I have to build it myself with clay, I'll do it.
Travis will help me.
Clay our intern or clay?
Like actually?
Clay, like not the clay that works for us.
The actual like sculpted clay.
Yeah.
And then we'll fire it up in the oven, the pizza oven.
Yeah.
The pizza oven at the new place.
That's where we'll fire it up.
Oh, we didn't put that into the whole remodeling.
We'll get to talk to the contractor about that.
Well, Bettina, do you have any memories?
Oh, Bettina's here now.
I think one of the first things I ever did when I got here was I made those tiny little pies filled with disgusting fillings for you guys.
And I also thought, I get to do this for a job and torture people.
Put wasabi and anchovies into tiny little pies and make people eat them.
That segment left a bad taste in my mouth.
Actually, it didn't really, because I won that thing pretty.
I did pretty dang well at that game, if I remember right.
I was very desperate not to eat the tiny pies.
So I was like really concentrating to answer the question.
I was kind of upsetting though because you were very into the wasabi pie and I was thinking that I was like, oh, wasabi.
I love wasabi.
I do like wasabi.
Yeah, it's funny to kind of get a new job and come on.
They're like, well, what do you want me to do?
You know, we're kind of having you do these multiple tasks.
And the first thing is bake disgusting things into pies and feed them to us.
That's your first job description.
I think one of my favorite memories is I think the guys were filming the podcast here.
You had an interview on Zoom that you had to do, but we had just filmed over in your office too.
So it was just like utter disarray.
So you crammed yourself into the corner on the floor while the rest of us are working around you and you're sitting Indian style.
And I think you were doing an interview with Fox News at that point.
It wasn't Fox News.
It was like a live, like a pretty high-profile live stream, if I remember right.
And it was like those two law lawyer guys or that law podcast or whatever.
And yeah, it was like, I'm like on the floor crammed.
I have my laptop stacked on some board games and there's people all that, but that was the, that was life at this office.
It was like constantly, somebody's doing something in the corner.
Everybody be quiet because we're all trying to, we're all trying to get all our work done.
And this podcast that you see, it's like where everybody works.
They all sit around here with their laptops and work every time.
Yeah, and they just shove us off the table.
And then we're like, guys, we have to record a podcast and we push everybody off and record.
So we actually have desks at the new office, which is nice.
Hey, Dan's here.
Hey.
So I've got a lot of memories at this place.
But just to make it shorter, I guess, obviously all the relationships, all the people we've had here, Ethan, Gavin, Trevor, Patrick, we would be remiss if we didn't mention those guys.
They helped build this place and make it cool.
And I've got great memories of every individual person here.
I think on the podcast, one of my favorite moments on the podcast, though, is Demon Bread.
Demon Bread was great.
Is that still your avatar?
It might be.
I'm not sure.
But just going when we had that podcast where it was looking at old, weird, cheesy Christian entertainment from like the 80s and 90s.
For some reason, that demon bread guy that it just stuck with me for like a long time.
I would just randomly think about it and start laughing.
Let's pull up the demon bread.
We'll pull it up.
And then obviously, I think for me, the big thing I did here was being able to do the Lord of the Rings podcast.
Oh, yeah.
Just being able to, you know, make a cool podcast, building community.
A lot of the subscribers were real excited about it.
And being able to read Tolkien and share that with other people was pretty special.
That was a lot of fun.
And just the way all that stuff was recorded was insane.
Like, we'd show up, record a two-hour-long podcast, switch the cameras around, record Lord of the Rings, and then we had to jump right into a sketch recording or some other crazy thing.
It was stuffing so many different things in one day.
It's like the name of the game here.
Hey, Adam.
Hey.
I'm back again.
We switched seats.
Yeah.
Should we awkwardly switch seats?
Go back to our original places.
Hi, now Emma's here.
I understand you brought a clip.
Yes.
I'll tell you when to play it, but I won't show you.
I've learned that from working in television.
I understand that you like Brett.
I would say I have two probably favorite memories.
The first one is when I was a guest host and I was nervous and I like calm and I sit down and Dan goes, Are you sure you're going to sit like that?
Or do you want to move closer to the table?
It was such a passive-aggressive way of criticizing the way you were sitting.
Yeah.
You do that to us all the time, though.
Yeah, well, the second favorite memory is when you guys were saying that I was being sassy, even though I don't think I was.
So I just kind of like you just leaned into it.
I just leaned into it and then gave you a lot of attitude about looking at the wrong camera.
Can you stop being sassy?
And then play clip.
Hey, everyone, welcome to the Babylon Bee Interview Show.
Emma, you're talking.
Can you look at this camera?
Is the Starbucks cup in there, Shot?
No.
Let's leave all this in so that we know that Emma interrupted us.
You're looking at the wrong camera.
Can you look at this one?
To be fair, there's a big red light on the other one.
I think the red light means it's all.
Hey, everyone, welcome to the Babylon B interview show.
Or I'm looking at this camera.
Yeah, we're both looking at this camera.
Because that's what Emma asked me.
She had to stare into the lens.
She got really mad at me when I looked at that.
She's so bossy.
She's very bossy.
And today we're not talking to Emma, though.
We're talking to Liz Wheeler.
So here she comes.
She's knocking on the door.
And oh, hi, Liz.
Come on in.
Let's never try that opening again.
Emma, why do you hate us so much?
Well, that was a fantastic clip.
That's the best clip anybody's brought today.
Thank you, Emma.
That was great.
And when does your movie come out?
In December.
Hey, Babylon B listeners, Kyle here.
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And now it's time for hate mail.
I really miss Adam Ford.
All right, so this one is from, what is this on Instagram, Twitter?
I don't know.
Facebook.
Okay, this is a Facebook message from Don Soznowski.
Good old Don has a message for us.
He said, just a quick message to remind you how much you all really suck.
Thank you.
In fact, you are immoral.
Won't touch that sacred cow of guns, will you?
Yeah, you won't risk losing all those supporters.
You are evil.
Your silence is evil.
Wow.
It's true.
I don't know about you guys, but I'm feeling convicted right now.
We did bring up the gun thing, though.
Yeah.
We had different opinions.
A little bit.
Well, are we allowed to expound on this a little bit?
I mean, it's, you know, it's always such a fine line when you're a comedian after a horrific tragedy.
You know, wins the line.
How soon?
How long do you wait?
I think probably the most infamous example was who was it?
The comedian that told the 9-11 joke.
Gilbert Godfrey.
Gilbert Godfrey told the 9-11 joke the day after 9-11 or something like that.
And look at what happens when you do something like that.
Now he's dead.
I know.
It's true.
Yeah.
So it's, you know, we got to be careful.
You know, obviously there's things that everyone wants to say.
There's so many bad takes online and you got to kind of walk a fine line.
You know, you don't want to rush to make your political point when people are still grieving.
So it's tough, you know?
But anyway.
Yeah.
So here's some helpful feedback we got on the signs you might be a man video.
There's some more hate mail.
Unfortunately, this one misses the mark and seems to actually support a transgender ideology rather than being satirically against it.
If being able to distinguish between two shades of white is given the same import as having two X chromosomes, then that actually supports transgender ideology.
And stop calling anyone indiscriminately bro.
Women are not bros.
Making bro gender neutral is itself giving credence to transgenderism.
Major fail.
You know what's funny is he's.
He's kind of right.
He's actually right.
The video was trying to do that in a funny way.
We're like, you might be a man if you can't tell difference between colors.
Yeah.
When obviously that's not the difference.
Well, that's, that's what, yeah, he's right in the sense that the transgender movement has redefined gender to mean all these cultural trappings and, you know, what color you like and how long your hair is, which is not what gender is about at all.
So, yeah.
I don't use bro for everyone, but I call everyone guys.
Like, hey, guys, even if it's a group of girls or girls and guys.
I say dude for everyone.
And I remember growing up, my mom would say, I am not your dude.
She was not happy when we said dude.
My daughter, she's seven years old.
She came home from school a few weeks ago.
And she looks at me and she's like, what's up, bro?
And I was like, excuse me?
I am daddy.
How dare you?
So daddy.
She's really cute, though.
So we are going to move into our subscriber portion now.
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You can support the work we're doing.
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So please subscribe to BabylonB.com slash plans and let's jump into subscriber portion.
Coming up next for Babylon Bee subscribers.
Classic article of the week for you called Seven Ways Grand Theft Auto points us to Christ.
The game takes up 100 gigabytes of hard drift spice, reminding us that Christ should occupy our entire lifelong.
You guys missed out on a punching story with Elon.
You remember that?
He was like, I got beat up and I almost died one day.
And then you guys were like, okay, next question.
This has been another edition of the Be Weekly from the dedicated team of certified fake news journalists you can trust here at the Babylon Bee, reminding you that someone out there knows something about Carmen.