The Bee Weekly: Thrash Metal Apologetics, Worship Leader Uniforms, and Star Trek Nerdery
This episode is brought to you by Private Internet Access. Get 83% off: https://privateinternetaccess.com/TheBabylonBee The Babylon Bee analyzes some thrash metal apologetics, evaluates the current state of worship leader life with a real-life worship pastor, and talks to comedian Yannis Pappas! Check out Yannis Pappas comedy tour dates and his podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/longdays-with-yannis-pappas/id1547367594 https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/ This episode is also brought to you by ADF Legal. Join the fight: https://adflegal.org/babylonbee Kyle and Adam are joined by worship pastor and actor Jarret Lemaster to talk about this week at The Babylon Bee and also the thrash metal apologetics of Tourniquet. They also discuss what the expectations are of a modern worship pastor and the scene of Christian movie acting. The guys talk about what Whoopi Goldberg said on the View and some cases before the Supreme Court relating to the Banger and Bomb articles of the Week. Adam Yenser brings Weakly News and the guys all talk about their favorite thing this week in Stuff That's Good. Kyle and Adam ask Jarret who he is and get into a discussion involving worship leader skinny jeans and acting in the Christian movie world. Yannis Pappas then joins Kyle and Adam for a lengthy discussion. Viewers are also treated to the Joy of Painting With Hunter Biden sketch that Yannis did with The Bee. The Hate Mail this week is a bit of an epic saga that you don't want to miss. In the subscriber-exclusive lounge, subscribers get access to the full Yannis interview, get to hear Jarret's answers to The Ten Questions, and also are treated with some spicy hate mail conspiracy theories about how The Babylon Bee is a CIA plant to propagandize its audience.
For our younger viewers, the Oscars was this award show people used to care about.
Stacey Abrams was photographed maskless around school children.
And when she goes to school, she sits next to everyone in the class.
A pub in England that has been open for a thousand years is closing.
Queen Elizabeth said she's sad and still remembers when they built it.
The Biden administration is planning to give away free crack pipes, but don't worry, you have to show your vax cart in order to get one.
Scientists recorded wild chimpanzees performing first aid on each other.
Sadly, they still haven't discovered healing crystals.
All this and more on the Bee Weekly.
I don't know.
I usually get like a...
Welcome to the B-Weekly.
This is going well.
Hey, we're hanging out with Jarrett LeMaster.
French?
It is.
Okay.
Yes.
And who are you?
So I'm an actor.
I'm a pastor at a local church.
And where I'm a worship pastor.
I don't think that really counts.
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah, that's one of those.
Yeah.
It's kind of like a pseudo pastor.
A quasi-pastor.
And you've been a lot of our most popular sketches lately.
Yes, and that's been very fun for me as well.
Yeah, it's sort of a dream come true.
We love the accents you do.
You did a great Russian accent for the murderer on gun control.
Yes, thank you.
That was sort of last minute.
I kept asking if you guys really wanted that, and apparently you did.
We did.
And you're really good at saying all this and more on that.
You know, sometimes I need to prepare.
Well, I got some big news this week.
15-year anniversary, the day this episode comes out.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, my wife, obviously.
Wait, oh, 15-year anniversary, not of the Babylon B.
No, no, no.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
The Babylon Bee is only six years old.
Actually, on March 1st, it'll be six years old.
You guys going to Red Lobster or something?
With the Babylon Bee?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, we're going.
Actually, we're going to go to a cool speakeasy in San Diego.
Yeah, and they have a few of them down there.
That's cool.
I can't tell you where it is.
Knock three times.
That kind of thing.
I hear there's like a wall of kegs, and you have to find it and push it back.
Oh, that's cool.
That is cool.
I think they operated during the pandemic and stuff, and they're still going.
So that's fun.
We were sent by Joe.
Yeah.
Joe sent you.
And you slide a little.
I've always wanted to do that.
I don't think they have the eye-hole thing.
That's kind of sad.
I just said.
Is a keg the traditional 15th anniversary gift?
The keg is the payment.
I did buy my wife a nice 15-year anniversary gift, but I can't surprise her with anything because if I buy something on Amazon, she immediately gets the ding on her phone, like something's purchased on Amazon.
And apparently she signed up for like True Bill or one of these services that tells you when people spend money out of your account.
And so I bought her anniversary gift and she immediately calls me, what did you just buy for X amount of dollars?
I'm like, dang it.
Like I can't surprise her.
So your wife controls the money in the household.
That's correct.
Yeah, so does mine.
Really?
Yeah.
Literally, if my wife passed away or something, I would have absolutely no way.
I wouldn't know how to pay the mortgage.
I wouldn't have to pay the cars.
I just had this conversation like a day ago with my wife.
Wow.
And she exactly this conversation.
She's like, you literally would be lost.
It'd be like that scene in Ants.
Remember when the leaf falls in front of the leaf?
The stick falls and everybody's scrambles around it.
That would be me.
Yeah, me too.
Me too.
Well, we have a subscriber dare this week.
Hey, Babylon Bee listeners, we should all agree that parents have a fundamental right to direct the upbringing of their children, but this right is under increasing attacks from public school indoctrination.
If you've got kids in school, you've experienced that.
I know I have.
Some schools have enacted policies that treat students differently based on race and compel students to affirm and support ideas contrary to their deeply held beliefs.
Indoctrinating students with these ideas is harmful to children and neglects the fundamental rights that parents have to raise their children according to biblical principles.
This stuff gets me fired up because I've got kids and it totally sucks when your school is all indoctrinating them and all that crazy stuff.
Our friends at Alliance Defending Freedom, though, are challenging this indoctrination and threat to parental rights, but they can't do it alone.
They need your help.
Preserving parental rights protects the future of our children, and that is why it is vital that you join us in supporting ADF.
Just go to adflegal.org slash Babylon B and make a tax-deductible donation to ADF's Freedom Fund to ensure they have the resources necessary to continue their challenges in court, all the way to SCOTUS, if necessary.
We've seen what happens when Americans stick together.
We can make a difference.
And with your gift to ADF, we can help protect parental rights.
I personally can't think of anything more important.
This is the forefront of the battle for our civil rights in these days.
Join us.
Please go to adflegal.org slash Babylon B and make your donation today.
That's adflegal.org slash Babylon B. One more time in case you weren't paying attention.
ADFLegal.org slash Babylon B.
This is Subscriber Day.
This is from Big Sam Horton.
I hope that's his real name.
Big Sam Horton.
Howdy, this is Big Sam.
How else would Big Sam greet you?
Howdy.
This is Big Sam.
Big Sam here.
I will gladly become a subscriber if y'all will conduct a theological analysis of the lyrics to the song A Dog's Breakfast by the Christian band Tourniquet.
Mormons will need to leave the room.
Do we have any Mormons here?
I don't think we do.
Keep on doing the Lord's work.
Big Sam.
Big Sam here, signing off.
Tourniquet, that's old school.
That's an old one, yeah.
I remember those guys.
I don't think I listened much to them.
They were kind of, what are they, like in the Project 86 style?
They were like death metal.
Okay.
Oh.
Tourniquet is like a, it's like a, one of those kind of tough sounding names.
Well, it's like you're, it's like you're, bandaid.
Surgery.
Yeah, metal band.
Thrash, progressive, and neoclassical metal.
I should check them out.
Sounds like right up my alley.
So we'll go through the verses, I guess.
Here's a dog's breakfast Christian band.
Listen to Ron Hubbard's son.
Dad was con man number one through black magic dabbling and drugs.
His books were born.
Dianetics say I am a reincarnated thetan god.
If I buy E-meter, M-E-S-T-A-O-K-L-R-H says Jesus never reached potential grade.
Okay, so you just go through debunking different religions.
These are just each verse.
It's an apologetic song.
Okay, so that's Scientology.
No, that's Calvinism.
Oh, that's Calvinism.
The famous Calvinist El Ron.
That's right.
I can't say I understood every reference in that, but I get the thetan thing.
The only one I don't know is the M-E-S-T.
That's the only...
M-E-S-T.
What is that?
M-E-S-T.
I said the E-meter, yeah.
That's like the, you do the emotional meter.
Yeah.
That's right.
M-E-S T is an acronym for Scientology, Matter, Energy, Space, and Time.
Got it.
These guys did some research for this.
Yeah, this is solid.
Okay, so solid.
We're going to say 10 out of 10 on the first verse.
You guys want to take, Jared, why don't you take verse 2?
Jehovah's Witness make the claim, the only prophet of today, but every prophecy was fake.
And so they upped the date as they read their Bible wrong.
John 1-1, the word was God.
Trueen God.
It was a God.
It was a God.
What was a God?
Trueen God is of Babylon.
The church is of the beast.
1,444 and 1.
And all that follow Jonah Dabs that cannot go to heaven.
I don't know how that didn't really rhyme at the end, but.
I like how we're just falling into like a rap cadence.
Well, I don't think you were like a limerick.
It was like a limerick.
Oh, there was a message on making the claim the only prophet of today.
There was a Jehovah's Witness from Nantucket.
From Nantucket.
Oh, man.
That's still my joke.
I was going to do it.
Yeah.
Oh, I think that's good.
John 1-1, the Jehovah's Witnesses have the, yeah, that the word was a God in the New World translation.
So, okay.
I like that.
They up-the-date, read their Bible wrong.
So, like, the false prophecies of the beginning of the J-dubs.
And then the 144,000 reference.
Because originally they said only 144,000 can go to heaven.
And then they later said, well, that's like a metaphorical thing or something.
It's a metaphor.
Well, it's interesting because the Jehovah's Witnesses used to come to my house all the time.
And I've confronted many Jehovah's Witnesses about John 1-1.
And I just suggest that they re-translated it.
One guy.
I was like, one guy translated this version.
It's just intellectually sort of dishonest.
Like, you need to, you need a little bit more than that.
Just one guy anonymously.
And anyway, they don't come to my house anymore.
I was going to say, did they still go around?
I used to like.
When I was growing up in Pennsylvania, it happened every few weeks or a couple months.
Now, even in Pennsylvania, when I'm home, I don't see them going around as much anymore.
Maybe you got blacklisted.
I do.
You can.
You can't get marked up.
They'd marked me off because they'd be like, you want to talk about the Bible?
You can click on.
Please come into my house.
They're like, please don't go talk to that guy.
All right.
So then we have the chorus.
I was fooled again.
I had made up my mind.
The truth comes in styles.
I was fooled again, wasting my time with life-changing lies.
It makes it sound like the writer of this song was a Scientologist and he got fooled by that.
And then he got out of that.
And then he became a J-dub.
And then he came out of that.
So I'm interested what his spiritual journey is in the rest of the song.
He's got a pedigree.
Should I do this next?
Yeah, take verse 3.
Myself, I love so much because the New Age teaches me the source of good and secrets lie within.
If this present life ain't good, astral to the past one, dude.
You can make adjustments in your linear time zone.
God is you and you are God.
So whatever you decide is right, right?
Sounds like the progressive Christian.
Is that like New Age-y beliefs?
Yeah, that's new ideology.
I guess.
Essential oils and healing Christmas.
It needs to be updated with an Enneagram reference.
Final one.
Joseph Smith, a Mormon God, murdered men, condemned a fraud.
An angel gave him golden plates, which no one ever saw.
KC says that Christ was lost, sign of Satan on the cross, bored the devil's nature, and was born again in hell.
They got a lot more to say about Mormons than the other ones.
This was clearly all buildup for them to rip on.
Yeah, this sounds personal.
It's very personal here.
And I was born again in hell.
If you've got a little body, you can all become a God.
Benny hinders true conversion.
Christ is.
Oh, now they're switching.
I don't know.
Is this like two verses?
This is like a different verse.
Oh, this is a different verse.
This is the prosperity.
Prosperity gospel.
Benny hinders true conversion.
Christ is not within.
I have faith in my own faith because I'm a little God.
I was fooled again.
A message from God that I was only a fraud.
I was fooled again.
Truth and joy was inside, but it's only in Christ.
I was fooled again by a spiritual force.
Hey, they took that from DC Talk.
That had disguised its source.
I was fooled again by the Lord's latest mail, but a novel from hell.
Just kind of fizzled out at the end there.
I didn't know where that was from.
I think South Park has done an episode about each one of these verses.
Yeah, the hell episode, actually.
Well, they have one where Cartman becomes like a prosperity preacher.
They have one about Mormonism.
That's one about Santology.
I don't know that they've done Jehovah's Witnesses on South Park.
Yeah, they're not quite big enough.
There's only 144,000 of them.
Yeah.
Well, I give the song an A grade theologically.
I did get a little confused and lost at the end.
And I'll have to listen to it to see how much I like the guitar solos and stuff.
Let's go to our Babylon B banger of the week.
Banger of the week.
Top shirt story of this week was while watching the view in hell, Hitler surprised to learn Holocaust wasn't about race.
I was a little worried this joke was too much of a hat on a hat, like the joke that the view is being shown in hell.
But it turned out to be a nice little icing on the cake.
But Whippy Goldberg did make a comment in the context of the Tennessee school district decision to ban Moss.
I don't know what that is.
That the Holocaust was not about race and actually involved two white groups of people, you know, just having a little dispute or something.
Yeah.
It's intersectional, guys.
It's an intersectionality.
White on white crime.
I don't know what is her motivation for this.
Like, what is her.
I do think it's that.
I think it's the intersectional thing.
Oh.
She's trying to be true to the intersectional philosophy.
Yeah, because I didn't really even understand what her argument was.
So she did issue an apology on social media the next day.
I said the Holocaust wasn't about race.
It was instead about man's inhumanity to man, but it is indeed about race because Hitler and the Nazis considered Jews to be an inferior race.
Pretty big part of the narrative.
I would say, yeah.
It was part of it after the whole reason.
It was about race.
That's right.
She was suspended for two weeks from the view.
She's reportedly furious, reports say reportedly.
And yeah.
So good job, Whoopi.
Do we think she'll be back again?
I feel like they don't want to, like, I don't think they'll fire her completely.
No, no, no way.
Yeah, the two weeks' suspension.
They're just hoping it blows over and then they bring her back.
Do you want to read our bomb of the week?
I'd love to.
Bomb of the week.
Bomb of the week.
Least shared and liked.
All right.
Sad.
Very sad.
Supreme Court to rule on affirmative action quickly before the new affirmative action justice gets there.
I didn't write this one, just to be clear.
I'm not laughing at my own joke.
I think it's generally a good observation.
It's just it's worded very long.
And that's also like, I've seen some version of that.
That observation was kind of.
Yeah.
But I don't think it's a bad headline.
I didn't realize this was actually based on a real story that the Supreme Court is taking up two cases, one from Harvard, one from University of North Carolina about affirmative action.
It literally came out the same week that Biden said he was going to pick a woman of color on the Supreme Court that they said they're taking an affirmative action case.
I think if you didn't know about those affirmative action cases, this joke would not work.
Yeah.
And I didn't.
And I still left it at the end of the day.
Many didn't.
Yeah.
All right.
Let's do some weekly news with Adam Jenser.
Yeah, let's hope you heard about some of these stories.
Let's hope he doesn't bomb as hard as that story.
It's time for the weekly news with Adam Jenser.
In order to discuss the conflict at the Ukrainian border, Vladimir Putin and French President Emmanuel Macron met at this table, which stretches from Russia to France.
That picture is insane.
It is.
Georgia Democrat Stacey Abrams was photographed posing maskless with a group of school children while they all wore masks.
Abrams claims she was only trying to prove that she has the hypocrisy it takes to be a Democratic governor.
She also offensively co-opted Native American culture by sitting Indian style.
It's a good choice.
The oldest pub in England, which has been open for a thousand years, is closing due to the financial strain of the pandemic.
It's called Ye Old Fighting Cox, and it's so old that it was built before that name was funny.
And just to be clear, this bar survived for a thousand years, which means the government destroyed the economy worse over COVID than they did during the Spanish flu or the Black Plague.
Although the CEO of Spotify said he will not cancel Joe Rogan's podcast, the platform has removed over 70 hours of Joe Rogan's content, which is roughly half of his Jordan Peterson interview.
I was going to say that's about one episode.
Yeah, that's a long one.
They talk and just like even when it's a guest that I like, I'm tired of them.
I hate you now.
Scientists at MIT have developed a new material that is stronger than steel, but as light as plastic.
They plan to use the material to package scissors.
That's good.
So Biden at interject on it.
No, it's like Star Trek.
It's like, remember, what was it?
See-through aluminum?
Yes, transparent aluminum.
Transparent aluminum.
And they found that they could make that, but it's so expensive.
See, now you got me to talk about Star Trek.
Who was the whales one?
Yeah.
Who's the one with the web?
Well, all the windows on the Enterprise D, I don't know about the Enterprise A, but they're made with transparent aluminum.
I'm not sure about C either, but I do know.
Yeah.
And they and the transparent aluminum scientists say that they could make that, but the cost of producing it is currently desalinization.
Yeah, you couldn't make it to the quantities to build an enterprise.
An enterprise.
Now we just have, you know, what is it?
Bezos' wiener-shaped ship.
I'm not sure there's metal enough to make an enterprise.
Anyway.
Where are we at here?
The Biden administration will begin funding the distribution of crack pipes to provide addicts a safe way to get high and quote advance racial equity.
Biden announced the move by starting with, okay, so you know how minorities love crack.
And for Hunter Biden, the administration is also funding a special parmesan pipe.
For the first time ever, chimpanzees in the wild have been recorded performing first aid on each other, although the chimpanzees are more primitive than humans and will still treat the unvaccinated.
Several black Tesla employees have claimed that racism is rampant inside the company, which is surprising since they have an African-American CEO.
Ford is suspending production on some of its vehicles due to a microchip shortage.
The microchip shortage has also caused Bill Gates to halt vaccine production.
Microchip shortage.
Anti-Semitic hate crimes in New York City were up 300% in January, mostly on the set of the view.
Pete Davidson has started officially referring to Kim Kardashian as his girlfriend.
Kim, on the other hand, says she's not quite ready to start calling him a comedian.
Poor guy.
Blow blow.
The Oscar nominations came out this week, and the best actor nominees include Denzel Washington for The Tragedy of Macbeth, Benedict Cumberbatch for Power of the Dog, and Jesse Smullett for pleading not guilty.
That's it for the weekly news.
If you want to see the jokes I couldn't do on here, check out the canceled news on my YouTube channel.
But Jesus is watching you.
Yes.
But now, this week's edition of stuff that's good.
All right, so we're going to talk about some stuff that we enjoy.
I couldn't decide, so maybe I'll just do two.
I want to talk about my Zune HD that I just recently reacquired.
I have a long and complicated history with MP3 players.
And I got a Zune HD because I was convinced that it was going to knock out the iPod.
I also went for HD DVD and stuff.
So I don't really have a very good track record with this stuff.
But it's fun.
I got my Zune HD because I thought maybe when I go to the gym, and yes, I do go to the gym for some of the people in here who don't think I do, without constantly being interrupted because I tend to lift one weight and then get a slack message and then I did I do this.
So I know that there are solutions like just hitting airplane mode or just having some personal discipline and not doing that.
But, you know, for me, it's nice to just have a little device.
I had a, my son wanted to, my son wanted to use my Zune and he was like, can I take your Zune to class to listen to music?
And I was like, sure.
And so he just grabs it and leaves.
And I said, no, no, no, you've got to load music on it.
So he picks it up as though he's going to download music right from the device.
I was like, no, You got to do it on the computer.
So he goes back to the computer and he just starts doing stuff on the computer.
I'm like, what are you doing?
He's like, well, how do you, I'm like, no, you got to get the cable, plug it in, buy the music and then drag it over to the device.
And he's like, forget it.
I'll just take my smartphone.
So that's my experience with the video.
How many songs can you have on a Zoom?
It's a lot.
I mean, I don't know.
It's 32 gig or 64 gigs.
So you can have thousands and thousands of songs.
But I do think there is something interesting about having a device that you have to decide ahead of time, like, this is what I'm going to be listening to on this, versus like having millions of things at your fingertips and not being able to decide.
I do kind of miss that.
Yeah, there is something about that.
Is that one of your reasons for preferring the Zune over like that?
Because then you can listen to albums and stuff.
Yeah, and then it's like, I want to listen to this album and then drag it on there instead of like being distracted by all the stuff and playlists and shuffling and radio.
Sort of the lost art of like listening to the artist's expression throughout the entire album.
See, I'm a big guy.
I like that.
I'm a big vinyl guy too.
Where it's like, I will listen to the whole side A, flip it over and listen to the whole side B, and I want to hear the songs in context.
Right.
You know, versus like just having a play.
Like DC Talks Supernatural.
I mean, exactly.
It's a masterpiece.
It's a masterpiece.
Yeah.
Where you just listen to it.
It was pretty good.
I mean, it was no Jesus freak.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
But if you just listen to like red letters or something by itself, you miss the context of the disc.
Supernatural.
Super natural.
That one was good.
Anyway, sorry.
Oh, and then I want to give a shout out to the guy on Twitter who gave me his old Zune HD because I tweeted about wanting to buy one and they're like surprisingly expensive.
And a guy on Twitter, I don't know his name.
Maybe I can find it and put it in the notes.
But he reached out and was like, I have one.
Do you want it?
And he just sent it to me for free.
It's so cool.
Which is awesome of him.
Nice.
What a nice guy.
Yeah.
Very cool.
My stuff that's good this week, I don't feel like we've talked about Star Trek enough yet in this episode.
I've actually been re-watching Next Generation, which is that was popular like back when the Zune was popular.
No, no, no.
Next Generation was before Zune, wasn't it?
Yeah, there was no.
It was like in 89.
Oh, that was a joke.
It was a joke.
It was a joke.
I get it.
That's all right.
Right.
Okay.
Okay.
But no, I've been, I've been, I watched, I liked it a lot as a kid, and that's like, you know, of all the Star Treks, I watched the original series a little bit.
Next Generation is the one that I grew up with, and I tried watching a little bit of Voyager, which was okay.
I never really got into Deep Space Nine.
No.
But it's cool, and it's weird how some of the episodes, when you go back and re-watch them, they're like so corny and terrible.
And like the first two seasons are awful.
But then, you know, I'm in like the third and fourth season out, and there's just some, some really great episodes and like the character of Picard and the character of Data and how they kind of work in this like debates over like his sentience and what is humanity and stuff.
It's really interesting.
Yeah, it's good sci-fi.
Yeah.
It's good sci-fi.
I grew up with that too.
My experience with Star Trek is I've watched all the movies and basically none of the TV shows.
And I used to watch some of the old original series.
Like it was on Saturday mornings or whatever and I see an episode here or there and I've watched an occasional Next Generation.
But I tried to watch Next Generation and the first couple seasons are very like bad.
Is that the word?
Next Generation.
The first two seasons are like awful.
It's like surprising that it actually episodic, right?
Like so it's kind of.
If I were to watch it, should I start at season three?
So here's my advice.
I would say start from the beginning only because one of the best episodes is Yesterday's Enterprise, which is where the Enterprise C comes through a time warp.
And there's a sort of terrible storyline from the first season that gets sort of retconned through that episode.
One of the characters comes back.
And that's a great episode.
And to sort of feel the impact of that episode, you kind of need to know some of the backstory.
So it's worth watching 23 bad episodes to watch.
46 bad episodes for the first two seasons.
But there is something really, I mean, nostalgic about all that bad stuff.
Yes.
Because I really enjoyed watching all that when I was a kid.
I would tape it on BHS.
I'd come home, John Luke Picard, Riker was my hero.
Yeah.
He had the best beard.
He had your beard.
Yeah.
And it seems like you're.
Is that something you're doing?
Is that well?
That's the other thing.
First two seasons, no Riker beard.
There's Ren Riker's beard appearing.
Well, that's actually not a coincidence at all.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's become a saying now.
Well, no, they'll say a show really grew its beard in season three or whatever.
It's the opposite of Jumping the Shark.
Of Riker.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I will have mentioned.
What's also interesting.
I tried rewatching some of the original series ones also.
And the Next Generation does this also in certain episodes, but I think it's like this obsession Gene Roddenberry had.
The first five episodes of the original series, the plot description of everyone is the Enterprise encounters a godlike being in space.
And it's just, it's like different beings, but they all just have like magical powers.
And it's weird because I feel like Next Generation eventually became more like solid sci-fi and like aliens and technology and sort of like philosophically based.
And the original series, it's all like space magic.
It's like they can all just like make things.
It's kind of like Q, right?
Exactly.
Q is like space magic, and that's in the first season, right?
First two seasons.
QAnon or Q?
Yeah.
Okay.
That's where it came from.
And Whoopi Goldberg came from.
I wish during the whole QAnon thing, I don't know why they didn't.
I think it would have been like a good video for somebody to make get John Delancey and have Q devow QAnon.
Yeah, disavow.
Yeah.
That's a good idea.
Q condemn QAnon.
The God in Space was even the plot of the fifth movie, I think.
Yes.
One of my favorite lines.
Excuse me.
What does God need with a Starship?
It's awesome.
Yeah.
Yeah, I grew up with that stuff.
I love Star Trek.
I still love Star Trek to this day.
I haven't watched it.
We did start watching the first show with my kids.
And my kids aren't scared of anything.
They're like super about all the stuff.
Like Lord of the Rings, not afraid of orcs, you know, Harry Potter, not afraid of Walmart.
But like, we watched Star Trek.
And for some reason, those first episodes of Star Trek were kind of terrifying.
And I think it's because there's morality in it.
There's like this morality tale sort of happening.
I always find old things from decades ago like just unsettling.
Yeah, there's something about it.
There's a weirdness to it.
There's a weirdness for sure.
Yeah, because it's like old sci-fi.
I think we were talking about this yesterday.
It's like there's old sci-fi, and when you read it, it doesn't have the same kind of feel as other sci-fi.
It's kind of like darker or there's something weird.
There's some tension there.
Since we've already crossed the line into talking about Star Trek this whole episode, what are your guys' thoughts on the reboots?
I watched the first three episodes of Picard, and I like it so far.
But I think I'm going to finish watching it after I watch Next Generation.
And then there's Discovery.
I haven't watched Discovery or Enterprise was one of the ones from a few years ago, which I didn't like.
And I haven't watched the animated one, or there's like, there's Lower Decks, which is like a comedy animated series.
And then there's a like Nickelodeon kids animated Star Trek now, also.
And there's the puppet version, too.
There's that.
Oh, is there really?
No.
Oh, I didn't know.
He's all excited.
That was a joke.
That was a joke.
Picard saw a puppet.
But I would like to give Discovery a chance because I've heard a lot of people like it.
And Tig Notaro's in that one.
And I think Tignataro.
What about the movies?
What about the JJ Abrams?
I thought they were good, but I only saw the first two of them.
I think there's three of them.
Yeah.
So you didn't see the worst one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I like Chris Pine a lot.
And so I think he did a good job as Captain Kirk.
Yeah, I thought he was good.
Yeah, I thought he did a good job.
And then what's his name from Heroes?
Oh, the Asian guy.
No, Spock.
Oh, no, not the Asian guy.
Yeah, Spock.
He's not Asian, is he?
I thought the Asian guy was.
I was mixing it up.
Is that the one you were thinking of from Heroes?
Yeah, but he's not the Asian guy because they're different people.
They don't look alike.
Yeah, yeah.
That's true.
Zachary Quinto or Quinto?
Quinto, Quinto, whatever.
It's Queen Too.
It's one of those Asian names that messes me up.
Hey, do you have something that's good that you want to talk about?
If you guys want to talk about it, sure.
So I couldn't decide either.
I might have two, but the one that I really like right now is one that is Little Pilgrim's Progress.
So every year I read this to my kids, and it's something that I think every parent should read to their kids.
Pilgrim's Progress, obviously, is like one of the best-selling books of all time.
It's like a total Christian classic.
But there was somebody rewrote it in the 1950s to kind of be more accessible for kids.
This lady, Helen, and I can't remember her last name.
Just Helen.
Helen.
Yeah.
And so Young's Programme.
Go to your bookstore and say, excuse me, do you have any books by Biolem?
Yes, that's right.
Helen L. Taylor.
Helen.
Maybe.
Yeah, somebody write it down.
So anyway, but Young Pilgrim's Progress, awesome.
It gives you kind of like this, especially for kids, and for adults too.
It kind of gives you this framework to kind of deal with as far as the straight and narrow path, like what it looks like to kind of veer off the path.
And so theologically, it's really encouraging.
Obviously, he was a Puritan.
Bunyan's a Puritan.
So we talked about that.
But I just really like it.
So that's the one thing.
Read it to my kids every year.
And then.
Is there any space magic in that?
So there's other kinds of, I mean, like, you know, there's like moral stuff.
Have you guys ever read it?
You guys ever read the original?
Yeah.
Okay, you have.
Of course you have.
I don't know why I'm.
Yeah.
But no space magic.
Was that a joke?
That was a joke.
It's funny.
Laugh.
I am.
Anyway.
Please clap.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So Pilgrim's Progress.
Cool.
That's good.
We'll stick with that one.
How about that?
All right, now let's talk about Jared LeMaster.
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And now it's time for the Babylon B to ask, who is this guy?
Or girl?
My stuff that's good for this week is Jared LeMaster and his Russian accent.
So you're a worship leader at a big church?
How many fire and water metaphors do you use on a weekly basis?
Usually at least a couple.
Yeah, at least a couple.
Yeah, we need to bring the fire and the water together.
As people that are worshipers, it's a yin-yang thing.
Yeah.
Now, I want the fire to get out of control.
When the Babylon B first launched, we did a lot of worship leader jokes about skinny jeans and V-necks, and it feels like that's out now.
Is that out?
What is the story?
What's the current state of fashion?
You mean what's the uniform?
Yeah, what's the backwards hat?
Yeah, I mean, I guess.
So a flannel.
Yeah, we try to.
Yeah.
I think for other churches that I've seen, the really, really like hot ones, the super like sexy ones, like sexy churches.
There are those I would like to join.
Now, there's been some, and they wear like the long, they're still wearing kind of the long shirts with like, you know.
Oh, like a long, okay, like maybe that's that swoop neck.
Yeah, sort of the hipster swoop neck.
Okay.
Can you wear the hat in church or is it still like in the old days?
It was like respect.
You take your hat off in church.
So I've got some people.
I wear my hat all the time.
Even in church?
I do.
But that's for me, Joe.
I know.
Especially in church.
Yeah, especially.
I have a memory at PFB growing up the church that I grew up at of standing in the pews and I stood up and we were sitting with all the high schoolers.
I was a high school, sitting with the high schooler.
And I stood up and I was wearing a hat.
And an old man behind me taps me on the shoulder and he goes, you show respect and take that hat off, boy.
Boy, good for him.
It's like a core memory.
I'm pretty sure he still attends.
Yeah, I've had guys come up and talk to me about my hat before.
Really?
Okay.
Yeah, they're like, you know, in the Bible it says.
And I'm like, do not wear it.
You're right.
So I've kind of like split the difference.
I take it off when I'm praying.
So you worship with it on.
Yeah.
And then you go, okay, now we're going to talk to God.
And you take off the hat.
Yeah, it's what we're doing during the worship.
You're like, this isn't disrespectful at all, but I should take it off to pray.
It's kind of disrespectful.
I mean, it is.
Let's just be gosh.
Let's draw a line somewhere.
Yeah.
So I got to have a hat on.
Anyway, so I don't know.
There's not much else.
I think flannels, jeans.
Yeah.
A suit.
What's your position on worship leaders and backup singers making up these vocal fills in between things?
Because we'll be singing a song and then it'll go to kind of the instrumental until you get to the next verse and the girl will be like, oh, and you are someone need jeans.
Yeah, that's right.
What's your position on that?
Do you guys do that?
Yeah, so we do.
And it depends on the culture, I think.
And it depends on what kind of, it depends on sort of like what kind of stuff.
I feel weird because I feel like I don't know if I'm supposed to be singing along with that and I just don't know.
No, you are.
No, everyone does the film.
Everyone does the runs.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then if not, are we just supposed to be looking at her going like, oh, that was pretty good.
Wow.
They should click those on the screen.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's like, it's like, yeah.
No, I do think we, you know, so I, my philosophy is to kind of let these people be the leaders that they are.
So sometimes what they do is they use the kind of melody that they are singing to encourage the people.
They'll say something to the people through a melody or something like that.
And some people do it really well.
And so I try to allow those people to kind of be who they are.
And it really depends on what kind of music you're doing.
If you're doing gospel or whatever, it really fits.
So we do a lot of kind of like pseudo-gospel, like the kind of Maverick City stuff.
And so we do have that.
We have a lot of diversity and stuff on our team.
Okay.
And so we just, we do allow that to happen.
But I don't know.
I try not to.
When I do those runs, I try to do them vocally.
Just like, hey, so anyway, guys, guess what we're doing right now?
We're worshiping Jesus.
That's what we're doing.
What do you have against hymns and organs?
Nothing.
Nothing.
I do like a hymn.
Okay.
Yeah.
You just don't play them.
I do sometimes.
Okay.
Yeah.
I do.
not trying to be overly confrontational here no i mean you update him and make it a little you make it a little more rock that was like a few that was like 10 years ago like Everyone was updating the hymns and putting a chorus in and stuff like that.
That's sort of passe, no?
It's very passive.
People definitely like just the hymn.
And in fact, if you can do a hymn with just an organ and some voices, people will.
Okay.
All right.
So you're not against that.
All right.
No.
So you've acted in some Christian films.
You ever met Kevin Sorbo, Kirk Cameron?
No.
I've met people who know both of those guys.
Yeah.
No, but never met those guys.
But I have worked in some Christian cinema before.
Stuff you're proud of or not proud of?
Yeah.
I mean, some of the stuff, the most recent stuff has been kind of proud.
Yeah.
Like the guys, let's see, Nefarious.
There's a couple guys, Chuck and Carrie, Chuck, sorry, Carrie Solomon and Chuck Cosselman, I think.
They're like two directors.
You know those guys?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I've worked with those guys a couple times now.
And I'm proud of both of those movies.
So like Unplanned and Nefarious, those are both really cool.
Yeah, great.
And then Turnaround Jake was good.
And we sold that to Pureflix.
Oh, cool.
You know, got to meet David Arrow White, but not, I didn't meet him then.
I met him at the premiere of Unplanned.
So it was kind of funny.
I was like, hey, you bought our movie.
He's like, oh, yeah, that's my little movie.
Yeah.
So anyway, I'm not sure he even remembered me.
He pretended like he did.
He's an actor.
He's an actor.
Yeah.
So yeah, I've been in a couple things.
And I do like working in Christian stuff because some of the times, like a lot of times, it becomes like this conflict.
Like you can't do stuff as a Christian.
Like there's things that you're not allowed to do.
Like the jokes he tells on the weekly.
Yeah, no, most of that's only one or two of them.
Yeah.
Those are the ones with a commenters.
I thought this was a Christian town.
There are some of those.
I've been reading some of the comments lately.
There's some really angry people out there.
Dead gummet.
Here's a question that's written down.
Has a deaf actor ever played a prank on you?
Yes.
We ask all our guests.
Do you?
Yeah, that's kind of a standard.
I should watch the podcast more.
Anyway, but yeah, so Troy, Troy Kot, what's his name?
Troy Kotzer?
Is that his name?
Troy Kotzer.
Don't worry.
He won't be listening to this.
He won't be able to hear you.
Oh, man.
Yeah, so I was in a play with Troy Kotzer.
Troy Kotzer, who is not, I think he's getting a, and this is going to sound like a name-dropping, but he was, he's getting a, he got nominated for an Academy Award this year.
Did he really?
Wow.
Yeah.
So he's just, he's just up for what?
Now, for supporting actor.
And he was in the Mandalorian and stuff.
He played one of the signs.
Awesome.
Anyway, so he was teaching me how to do sign language because I was in this play that required sign language.
And it's a musical, actually, with deaf actors and hearing actors together.
Yeah.
Creating a musical.
And anyway, so he was teaching me how to say, nice to meet you.
And he was going to introduce me to his wife, who's also this beautiful actress.
She's this deaf actress, and she's been in a bunch of stuff.
So anyway, he teaches me how to say, nice to meet you.
And I go up and I say it to her.
I'm like, nice to meet you.
And she just like, she like freaks out.
And she like grabs my hands and she's like, no, no.
And I was like, we don't do that here.
What did I say?
And so Troy's behind her, like rolling around on the ground laughing.
Like he's like laughing.
I'm like, what did you do?
What did you do?
And he goes, and so it turns out he told me that it's nice to have sex with you is what he said.
Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah, it was embarrassing.
It was embarrassing.
It was funny.
I mean, it was funny.
It was funny.
Yeah.
But she's probably sick of that joke because it probably.
Yeah, she probably gets it all the time.
Yeah, Joy probably plays that joke on everybody.
I don't know why you're telling that story here.
I thought this was a Christian joke.
I know.
I know.
It's so true.
It's offensive.
Has a quadriplegic actor, like one of those that has no arms or legs and is just a torso.
Isn't that a sufficient ever played a prank on you?
That's not necessarily quadriplegic.
Yeah.
No, I've never, that's never happened.
Except for that one time.
That's a blind jacket.
You had a deaf story, so I was just gambling on it.
I love how these questions, who wrote these questions?
I love how they're all like obvious setups.
Did you used to have a Walking Dead podcast?
Do you happen to own a bunch of swords and carved wooden Gandalf smoking pipes?
Yes, these are kind of yes-no answers.
Yeah.
Okay.
Do you really do that?
You carve mouth pipes?
That's amazing.
Yeah, so like with the long stem kind of like the curvy stem.
Yeah, I don't know.
I just kind of got into it.
I looked at it and I was like, I think I could try to do that.
I like doing woodworking and stuff.
Oh, cool.
So it's a lot of fun.
Very cool.
It's a nice little side hobby.
All right.
Well, we're going to talk to Jarrett Moore in the subscriber lounge.
In the meantime, we've got an interview with Giannis Pappas.
Yeah.
Hilarious.
Hilarious comedian.
It was a hilarious interview.
Yeah, he's got a great podcast also called Long Days with Giannis Pappas, which was just given a strike by YouTube.
So you got to go support him on that.
And, you know, he has live stand-up dates.
Check him out.
And if you haven't watched the sketch yet about that we used Giannis Pappas for.
Oh yeah, he played Hunter Biden Joy of Painting.
Yeah.
Maybe we'll start with that.
Why don't we watch that sketch and then we'll jump into the Giannis Pappas interview.
Here we go.
Please, before you let Russia invade the Ukraine, please get my money out of there.
Do what you have to do.
Oh.
Okay.
Yeah, bye, I gotta go, big guy.
Hi, I'm Hunter Biden.
And I'd like to welcome you to the joy of painting.
Painting has brought me so much joy in life.
It feels like I have a job, which is new for me.
So I hope you'll paint along with me at home.
You definitely want to start with a nice, clean brush.
So just give me a second, okay?
Let me get my brush.
Whoa!
Woo, mama!
Yeah, just blew my nose real quick.
Van Gogh style.
Here's your clean brush, and we have your nice white's my favorite color.
Yeah, that's good oil.
Okay, so you start and you said, we're gonna start some nice white mountains.
We just put those in there.
Very simple.
Much like joining the board of burisma.
You don't need any formal experience to be a painter.
I started painting last year, and my stuff's already selling for $75,000.
And it's definitely not because I'm the president's son.
And that's why I feel so good.
It's all me.
Now, we're gonna use some nice gray like my dad's hair to add some happy clouds up here.
Look at that.
Remember, we don't make mistakes.
Just happy little accidents.
Like when I got a stripper pregnant in Arkansas.
Happy little accident.
And when I lost my laptop, one of them, full of emails with the Chinese.
And when I lost my other laptop, that one was full of sex tapes.
Happy little accident.
And when my dad botched the withdrawal from Afghanistan, those were hundreds, perhaps thousands of happy little accidents.
Now, I need to clean my brush again.
Yeah, now we're ready to paint.
Okay, we're going to put some trees right under these clouds.
You start the night with a little white cloud.
And then at the end of the night, you want to come down and you do a little tree, if you know what I'm talking about.
I like to think of trees as our friends.
Some happy little tree friends.
And I like to think of my brother's widow as my girlfriend.
Well, at least until I met a younger, hotter lady that I married.
But I did name our son Bo after my ex-girlfriend's former husband, who was also my brother.
It's a little complicated.
And voila, we're finished.
Just like that.
Look at this.
Two happy mountains.
Of course, we got our happy little trees right here.
And some clouds.
That's clouds there.
I want to thank, of course, China for giving me the money to make this show possible.
Now, I've got to go because I got to order some more paintbrush cleaner.
Why is there parmesan everywhere?
Was I eating spaghetti on the floor again?
Has anyone seen my new laptop?
We should all agree that parents have a fundamental right to direct the upbringing of their children.
But this right is under increasing attacks from public school indoctrination.
Many schools have enacted policies that allow minor students to change their name and pronouns at school without parental consent.
Our friends at Alliance Defending Freedom are challenging this indoctrination and threat to parental rights, but they can't do it alone.
They need your help.
Preserving parental rights protects the future of our children, and that is why it is vital that you join us in supporting ADF.
Just go to ADFLegal.org slash Babylon B and make a tax-deductible donation to ADF's Freedom Fund to ensure they have the resources necessary to continue their challenges in court all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court if necessary.
We've seen what happens when Americans stick together.
We can make a difference.
And with your gift to ADF, we can help protect parental rights.
Join us.
Please go to adflegal.org slash Babylon B and make your donation today.
That's adflegal.org slash Babylon B.
And now for another interview on the Fee Weekly.
So you're from Brooklyn, growing up in Brooklyn?
I'm from Brooklyn.
I'm from Brooklyn, New York.
Yeah, I'm from Brooklyn, the diverse liberal Brooklyn.
Brooklyn is weird, though, because there are areas that are very urban and poor, and then there are areas that are real up and coming and beautiful.
So when someone says they're from Brooklyn, it's like there's people that have completely different experiences living like a mile view.
I grew up, yeah, it's very true.
Brooklyn is like the whole world crammed into a borough.
It really is.
Like by the time I was six or seven, I had heard every language.
I could identify the difference between a Pakistani and an Indian, which is like, you have to be a phenotype expert to do that.
But like I could just do it by dialect.
You meet everybody.
You see everything.
You're exposed to everything.
I grew up in Park Slope, Brooklyn.
Oh, okay.
Which was like, that was like the...
It's a little more hipstery now, isn't it?
Yeah.
Now it's like, yeah.
I lived in Brooklyn Heights for a while, but that's like the nice like huxtable house.
Yeah, that's the huxtable.
That's exactly where it was.
Yeah.
Yeah, Brooklyn Heights was always like, that was like considered the Beverly Hills of Brooklyn.
I grew up in Park Slope, which was kind of like a little, it was originally Irish.
First, it was like Brooklyn used to be where people had their summer homes.
That's why they have such beautiful brownstones.
Like rich people used to, like, that's when the world was smaller and they're like, I'm going on vacation.
And then you just hopped on a boat and like rowed across the river.
And they were like, wow, we're in the Hamptons, you know?
Because it was just farther.
And so there's a lot of beautiful homes there, but Park Slope was, at the time I grew up, was probably the most socioeconomically diverse neighborhood in the country and ethnically diverse and socioeconomically diverse because all the, what do you call them?
They're boomers now?
Boomers.
I guess they used to be hippies.
They moved there.
So like they were the ones that kind of replaced the Irish cops and stuff that were there and the working class that replaced the really rich people who were like, we're moving farther out, you know, as white flight just continued.
I guess it's going to space now.
The New Hamptons will be space.
It'll be Mars.
So growing up in New York City area, did you grow up, like, when did you get into stand-up and like, were you exposed to it young?
Did you go out to see shows and stuff like that around those guys?
No, yeah.
I got into it after college after I realized that like my, I wanted to be a CIA agent just to meet women and that was just not.
How did that go?
It didn't go good.
I went to school in DC at the American University.
Oh, okay.
And I went to Miami on spring break and I just had this vision of me at the bar telling a girl I was a Secret Service agent.
And that's why I was like, maybe I'll be a Secret Service agent.
And then I was like, oh no, I'm a mess up.
Sorry, I forgot we were Ellen Rules.
I'm a mess up.
The only thing I've ever been good at is being funny.
Like I was a class clown.
I was getting in trouble.
I was always a rascal.
You know, I had to do ninth grade twice because I just didn't go to class.
I was making people laugh.
And so it's the only thing I have.
Very different from my brother who went to Georgetown, Oxford, Tufts.
And I'm forgetting one.
He got a lot of useless degrees.
Now he's a lawyer.
So did you start out doing stand-up in New York?
And what was that scene?
I started in New York.
Yeah, I started in New York.
The scene was, that used to be the only scene.
It was like New York and LA.
And New York was considered like the, that's where you get good.
That's where you perform.
And then you come to LA and you just like take your soul and you're like, how much?
Yeah.
I spitter.
Who do you want me to be?
That's why you're out here on this trip.
Yeah.
Trying to sell your soul.
I love it.
Then you get your $50 million check and then you find Buddha after that conveniently.
Then you become Jim Carrigan.
This is all, this is nothing.
I don't know.
I'm like, it's nice that, you know, after you got 300 million in the bank, you finally decided to get spiritual.
You had plenty of opportunity before that when you were in Canada or on your climb up to be like, you know what?
This is all nothing's real.
But now conveniently that he can sit in his spaceship of a house and pain all day, he's the Buddha and life is meaningless.
Well, it's weird in comedy, and I feel like a lot of celebrities, they go through that phase, even before they get rich and spiritual, they go through the phase where they get rich and then they're more miserable than they ever were.
They go through this like dark, like, I'm rich and I'm not happy phase, which I see that a lot too.
Yeah, yeah, I think it's, I think in some ways it's because of the compromises you have to make.
And also, yeah, you realize after you climb that hill, you realize, oh, like I'm not surrounded with a lot of good friends.
I've had to, I don't know who I am anymore.
And yeah, so my shower is a little nicer, but is that real?
You can sit and cry out.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Better setting to sit in.
Yeah.
Happiness is the company you keep.
Yeah.
You know, if you sit with somebody you hate in a, you know, in Mr. Chow's or whatever, you're going to have a bad time.
What is the sushi going to flood out the fact that you hate this person and you don't know who you are and all the all the things you had to do in Epstein shower to get where you are?
Is the sushi going to fix that?
Is that going to wipe that memory away?
No.
But there's some happy, you know, normal couple sitting somewhere and, you know, who's having a great meal at Cracker Bar or whatever.
The food is crap, but you know, they're in good company.
So.
Good endorsement for Cracker Bar.
Yeah.
Cracker Bar.
Rude as crap, but you're happy here.
So what circles were you running in at that time when you first got started?
What other comics were you performing with?
Yeah, I came up with.
I came to cool stories about that?
Yeah, I came up with a cool crew, man.
And that's the thing about comics is, especially stand-ups.
You know, now comedy's opened up.
We don't have the monopoly on funny that we used to have.
Now it's like some kid with a camera.
But back then, it was like, if you were funny, you got into stand-up.
And the great thing about stand-up comics is we do this thing where we perform.
We're really the only ones who are genuinely in touch with sort of the zeitgeist.
We feel it.
Politicians are up there doing this and they're just full of, they're not, you know, they're just thinking, we're actually, we have to like really win the people over, like on a visceral level.
So You become like a, it's like a brotherhood or sisterhood or other non-binary hood or whatever it is.
It's just people together, you know, but we come from all, you, you get this bond and you come from all walks of life.
And, you know, I always, it's, I always thought like when you see us walking down the street, you'd see like a housewife.
It would be like me, Nate Bargatzi, Dan Soder, you know, Chris DeSteffin, Chris DeStefano, people from, you know, couples from Brooklyn.
Nate's from Nashville.
He's from, you know, from a conservative background, Christian conservative his whole life.
I'm a, you know, more of a, I come from a left-leaning family in Brooklyn.
It's like when you see us walking together, you're like, either these guys are going to rob a bank or they're comics, you know?
It's like a housewife, a fat kid, a skinny kid, a black kid, a white kid.
So it's really like a heist movie.
It's like a heist movie, or they're going to do some sets for chicken fingers.
Have you ever been paid in chicken fingers?
Oh, yeah, dude.
That's how comics get paid most of the time.
Sometimes a drink ticket.
Yeah, before the internet, oh, yeah, they give you that whole just happy to be here.
You're, you know, just like, come on.
For the exposure.
And you're like, you asked the waitress.
You're like, how much did you make?
She's like, $1,000.
You're like, how much did you make?
You're like, I made $25 and then I ate and I had to pay half price for the food.
So I'm like, I netted like seven bucks.
I need to awkwardly walk up to the guy that runs the show and remind him to pay me at the end.
But you still owe me some money.
Yeah, yeah.
Sometimes you, yeah, if you do some of those shadier shows out, they're like, ah, we didn't really, the audience, we didn't, you know, it didn't really, and you don't exactly have like a lawyer tailored contract.
It's just some phone call by some guy named Mickey who lives in Canarsi, Brooklyn.
You know, you're just like, all right, I guess, I guess I'll take half of my money.
I'm just happy to be working.
Now, you mentioned coming up with guys, you know, different political leanings.
You were raised in a more sort of left-leaning background.
Nate comes from a more conservative background.
What I love about both your podcast and your stand-up, you talk about politics and kind of what's going on, but you do it in a way that you seem to like alienating both sides and at times supporting both sides.
And it's interesting because I know in like going to your special, you kind of get to the political stuff kind of later on.
You do the other jokes and you get the crowd on your side.
And then I feel like that's, it works because then the crowd, they know they can laugh.
Whereas when you go in hard for one side or the other, it just seems like that's what's happening on the mainstream shows right now.
Like the late night shows are all either one team or the other.
It's kind of gross.
But in comedy, like it's more fun, I feel like you always kind of want to be a little contrarian, don't you?
Absolutely.
That's what humor is.
I mean, if I just went up on stage and went like, racism's bad, you know, being mean to people is horrible.
Are you with me?
I mean, that's not common.
But if I went up and said, here's what's great about racism.
Yeah.
And then I had some great jokes.
You know, being funny is saying the inappropriate thing.
You know, that, you know, we're class clowns.
Like, I didn't get in trouble in school because I was saying the right thing or at the right time.
It's always being contrarian because our job is to keep people honest, including ourselves.
We're humans.
We have this fascist tendency in us.
We have all these flaws in us.
And I think the gesture's role, the traditional gesture, is to just keep us honest.
Remind us we're human, connect on that level.
And that supersedes party lines.
And we've been flushed out, which is scary.
Because when I don't mean flushed out like, you know, like a gopher, I mean, I don't mean flushed out.
We've been, we've been, what's silent?
They're trying to silent.
Like they're treating us like politicians now.
You know what I mean?
It's like everyone's getting treated like a politician.
And that's.
And they're trying to assign you to a team.
I feel like you're going to be able to do that.
They're trying to assign you to.
It's like, why can't?
Why is it so important to you?
Like when I was growing up, my dad was a Republican and my mom was a Democrat.
You know, she was like a human rights lawyer and my dad had a business.
So it was like back then, it wasn't that big of a it was back when more people kind of leaned left, leaned right, and then the more extremes were the more religious or more like militantly atheist, which in my opinion is like a religion too.
Yeah.
But everyone was kind of like, as far as policy and economics, it was like, you know, even you look at the Reagan administration, there was Medicare.
There was like, they understood in the real world, you have to, you can't just go laissez-faire or you, you know, you can't, or it won't work.
In theory, you can go, this is what I believe.
But you're like, you know, when you're in, when you're doing it, when you're creating policy, you have to compromise.
Yeah.
And that, you know, ideas are great, but ideas have nothing to do with reality.
You know, I want to, you know, I want my wife to be chill all the time.
I married her thinking, you know, but it's like.
How did that work out?
She's chill all the time.
No, she's not chill.
She's chill.
They get a lot of confidence.
Once that ring goes on, the confidence just gross, dude.
Yeah, it's all a ruse, man.
It's a ruse.
Once you get that ring on, it's like, they start, you know, they start talking too much.
So with how kind of polarized things have been with like this sort of idea of cancel culture out there right now, do you think that's made it easier or harder for comedy?
Like, because I'm always sort of on the fence about it.
Like on one hand, they are trying to silence people, but it also gives you kind of targets and things to talk about.
I love that.
Yeah.
I think comedy's fun again.
Yeah.
You know, I love it.
It's, you have to just put the fun first.
Yeah.
And that's why I say when people apologize, I'm like, all right, I apologize, but then do it again.
So then make the apology.
One of your podcasts recently, you called that, what was it, doing a Pat and Oswald?
Yeah, I mean, that kind of.
I mean, how do you love that law?
Yeah, I mean, how do you do that to your friend?
Yeah.
You know, it's like who invited you down to perform and you're having like, it's just a weird thing.
And then you make it public.
You even text them.
You know, you text them and go, hey, Dave, I'm going to write this thing.
Dave probably, you know, Dave's not really on social media, but like if he wasn't, imagine being a friend and seeing that.
Yeah.
I was just hanging out with you, dude.
And then you're doing this.
And to back down to the mob so quickly, like one second, you're posting a picture and then it's as soon as the backlash hits.
What a snut face.
Sorry.
Yeah.
I'm sorry I was friends with him for my whole life.
Yeah.
I'm sorry, it's friends with him.
You know, and again, conveniently, I had no problem going down there and performing in an arena, taking a picture next to one of the greatest comics of all time.
Getting my chicken fingers and drink ticket.
Yeah, and posting it on my social media.
Like, so, so, and then he goes, this is my principle.
So, would you have posted that apology if the fans didn't come after you?
So then it's not genuine.
And so it's like, why aren't more people just going, you're fully.
Bubblegum.
Because it's not like you posted that first.
It's not like you went down there.
It's like, Dave, I'm down here so we can talk about issues.
I only came here because you're learning and I want to help you understand how your opinions are anti-created and you got to open your mind.
And living in LA has really opened my mind.
LA is such a, everyone here doesn't think about themselves at all.
Everyone here, you know, you make it in this town by just being super empathetic and super listeny.
You got to be more listeny, Dave.
No, he first posted that like me, me, me photo with Dave, being like, look, I'm friends with the GOAT.
You know, and then he got all those comments from maniacs and probably Chinese bots.
And then he posted this like, you know, me a culpa.
That's like, you know, we know you can easily see he's fully.
Bubblegum.
Yeah.
Sorry.
I'm getting a little excited here.
No, no worries.
We'll keep all of that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Maybe, you know, we're thinking about it.
Jimmy Fallon's gonna have to apologize for having you on the tonight show.
Yeah, he did.
You were the first comic on there, right?
First comic.
I've never ever seen it.
Yeah, it was a test show.
And I bombed.
Did you really?
I did bomb.
Well, not a horrible bomb.
If you watch it, you probably wouldn't know.
His audience has such great taste in comedy.
Isn't that an honor?
Isn't that one of the like your booze mean nothing?
I've seen in my team cheers.
He's a really nice guy.
He's a nice guy.
Yeah, I just picture his writer's room as just like a bunch of kids with crayons going, like, put the egg on your face.
Yeah.
And Jimmy's like, yeah, it's great.
We'll take the eggs and we put them.
Yeah.
And then we'll color your face.
Yeah, it's be great.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, really, I think his writer's room is like out of school.
You know, though, when they book you, right, that it's a test show for those shows?
I did know.
So I was, at the time, I had a show in Miami.
It was a new network called Fusion.
So I had moved down to Miami.
They were owned by Disney, ABC, and Univision was trying to do this new network for millennials.
And it was interesting because it was like probably the last time a big network like that will be built because it completely failed.
And they shouldn't have done it because the phone had already taken over, you know.
And like, so they built this like $100 million building in Doral, Florida, all this money behind it.
And it just failed quick because kids are on, you know, they can't get the you can't compete with the eyeballs of Babylon B and the like, you know?
So I do need to tell you that this is a test show.
So this will not air.
I am, yeah, I'm the perfect guy to have on because you're like, if we have them on, we know we probably can't use it.
So let's just check out, let's work on the angles and see if the chairs look good.
You know, you know, I get it.
I get it.
Yeah.
His mic wasn't working the whole time, but we'll get it for the next one.
It's funny because when I went on, I was like, to me, it's so funny because my generation has straddled these two eras.
You know, everyone coming after doesn't even think about the tonight show.
But when I came up, I was like, oh my god, tonight show.
And so even though it was a test show, I was like, can I get the tape?
Like, I just, you know, and then I was like, I'll do it again.
But, and so when I went out there, I was really nervous.
Yeah.
It was my first time doing that five-minute set where, and I'm a guy who's, even if you look at the characters I've done, I can't be in the box.
And I can't, if someone says, hey, you're censored, I'm just like, then I can't, I don't know if I can do this.
So I was so nervous.
Dude, we told you not to say that.
I've already said it.
Yeah.
I've already broken the rules.
So I was nervous, and that's why I bombed.
And because I cared so much about the tonight show.
And now I don't.
Yes.
I try to figure that out too.
It's interesting because I think we're probably close in age.
And I grew up like late night TV was like the you're drinking baby blood because you look good.
Where is the Adriena Chrome slurpee shop that you go to?
Is it Tom Hanks' basement?
I'll come with you.
How old are you?
I'm in my, I'm 45.
45.
I'm 39.
Yeah, we're not close.
Close.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I got good jeans.
But I grew up like loving the tonight show and late night comedy.
And to me, that like format is still what comedy is supposed to be, but it is all shifting to YouTube and TikTok and these like short form sketches, some of which I don't even understand what's, you know, on TikTok, like what they are.
But what I love, you know, you're doing this show on YouTube now.
And what the online platforms have done, they've let you kind of do stuff like more independently.
Do you kind of like being able to produce that on your own and kind of just say what you want until YouTube gets math?
Until they take me down, which they did.
Yeah, this is the greatest era to be a comic.
There's no question.
I mean, what would you prefer to go back to the gatekeeper era where, you know, even at the local level, it's some, you know, a bartender booking the show and has power over you or having to go sit with all these networks who are trying to figure out how to make a commercial for commercials.
That's not comedy.
What you guys are doing is comedy.
You're, you know, that it's funny.
It's for the people.
They have a visceral reaction to it.
It's not surreptitiously selling you anything.
You know, comedy can't surreptitiously sell you anything.
That's what we're making fun of.
So this is the best era to be a comedian.
You know, there's, yeah, there's always.
I love that because that's such an optimist.
I hear so many people, you know, that, you know, even on here, we talk about, you know, comedy, you know, is it, is it dead or is it, you know, under pressure or people silencing it?
But it really does kind of give you something to push back against.
And you have this platform where you're kind of independently in control of it.
It's the best.
Yeah.
I wouldn't trade it for anything.
And, you know, being a live performer too, here's the thing.
This is what really concerns me about the country, just to get earnest for a second, is that what you experience in reality is not what you experience online.
Totally different experience.
That is a fabricated experience that people are now thinking is real, that people are like that.
You know, I, like I said, I'm from Brooklyn, New York, you know, everything, everything, I come from an open-minded place.
I go to like a more, a smaller place, close my people are great.
It's great.
I do my jokes.
They laugh.
You know, I make fun of them.
They laugh.
You know, I go to New York.
I do the same jokes.
I, you know, I may tell it a little bit.
There's tiny different reactions, but people are people, man.
It's like, you know, you got to understand.
It's like, you know, something has happened.
It's the dark side of the internet or the algorithms or the social media companies or whatever it is has pulled us farther and farther apart.
And it does not represent what's happening when you see people face to face, you know.
And I don't know, I don't know how to fix that, but it's a big problem.
It's like nobody's putting themselves in other people's shoes anymore.
And it's ironically, the world's opened up more, but people have gotten more closed.
It's like even if you take an issue like guns, it's like, yeah, I mean, again, there's the ideal, like, yeah, everyone has their ideals.
Like, I want to be able to protect myself or, or then the other side's going, like, guns are dangerous.
They kill everybody.
There's some truth to both, right?
But like, you got to take context into consideration.
And the internet has made us like just jettisoned context.
Everything is like this polarized utopia that everyone's trying to achieve.
That you're like, have you forgotten we're flawed, imperfect people living on a planet?
And if you lived, if you lived in the country, you would have a different opinion of guns.
And if you from the country lived in the city, like, for example, like if everyone had a gun and open carry in New York, you know, can you imagine what a rush hour would be like?
You know, like everyone's jammed in and then someone pushes everyone and everyone just pulls their cat out and it ends like a Quinn Tarantino movie.
But then on the flip side, if you don't have a gun and you live where I live, the first thing I did was buy a gun when I moved to the country.
It's like, I'm not going to depend on the one sheriff who lives like 40 miles away.
There's also bears and trying to kill my dog.
But like, yeah, I'm not just going to, if I happen to be targeted by the one crazy killer out there who wants to kill my family, I'm just going to be like, I'm sorry, I'm a liberal.
I don't have it.
I'm a liberal.
My Twitter looks great, though, as I'm dying.
My Twitter looks great.
You know, it's like, what is that happen to people that they treat each other like a different species or they treat each other like they're not flawed or self-interested?
Like everyone, this is a very like puritanical, scary time where everyone's like, you know, in their cults.
And it's like, how do we, how do we start talking again without, you know, being pedantic?
You know?
Yeah, it's so easy to forget that Twitter is such a small fraction of the population and it's, oh, it's the worst people on the planet, really.
Yeah.
And then you start seeing all liberals as being like that rando on Twitter who's, you know, yelling at you for something or another.
Yeah.
It's it's like the stereo they make the stereotype into every yeah, I don't know it's you're right because Twitter is like probably such a small percent and then the other percent and which is why I'm really critic, what I think is really where the social media platforms have been very hypocritical and evil, borderline evil, is that you know they come down on what you say all the time, but they don't come down on like the fake accounts and the bots and because that's good for their engagement, that's good for their numbers.
So like, we'll look the other way for 10 years till our stock price shoots through the roof.
Yeah, it's all very selective.
Yeah, and all these, you know, most people have like six accounts.
So you released your special on YouTube for free.
Why'd you do that?
And is that the future?
And they censor that one or is that one?
No, that one's still up.
Oh, cool.
That one's still up.
Yeah, I did that because it's the best way or a very good way to get people to see it.
And then for a stand-up comic, you want to get, it's all about getting those ticket sales.
So you just want the visibility.
And yeah, you put on Comedy Central.
Comedy Central is a great place to hide your special.
It's like a safe.
For your special.
If you have any like social media passwords, you don't want people to know.
You just say them in your comedy.
You have a lot of TV credits, but you've only put your stuff where no one will see it.
I've done ballot, but you won't see it.
I've done comedy sensors, but you won't see it.
Yeah, my career's in a safe box.
You're talking about the sort of, you know, the social media companies, and we're talking about Twitter.
Now, with your podcast, which everyone should check out, you had strikes against you recently, right?
What was the story behind that?
Do you know what happened there?
Yeah.
So the first one, they give you a warning, right?
So then you can appeal it.
Then I lost the appeal.
And what was the content that they had a problem with?
Right.
So then I had to ask on Twitter.
I went to, I saw somebody did it.
What repeats it here?
We're going to get a strike on it.
You might get a strike.
We have to say this is for news commentary and satire only.
I saw that they gave Lex Friedman a strike, who's a friend.
I've done his podcast.
And I was like, he got it over.
He went and tagged YouTube help on Twitter.
And then they reversed it real quick because I knew he wasn't going to.
He doesn't.
There must have been a mistake.
And then so I did the same thing.
And that's how I found out what the time code was.
They responded to me on Twitter.
But only when I tweeted at them did they tell me what the time codes were.
Even in the appeal, they just come back and tell you you failed the appeal.
And my strike was for bullying.
And are you talking to a person when you're in a, or are you just getting like form email responses?
Form email responses.
Form.
Yeah.
Form email responses until you do the Twitter thing.
And then they respond to you and you can tell that's a person.
And then they rejected me again.
Then they said they'd look into it and they rejected it again.
And they gave me the time codes, which was, which was a mistake because then Rogan saw Rogan's a friend and he made it big.
And so it's helped me a little bit.
But the two things that it was was the time codes were ridiculous.
The first one was a joke I did about the Gay Pride Parade.
So I said.
That's never a sensitive topic.
Yeah, never.
No, that's a beautiful event.
There's no way to criticize that.
I don't know how you would make it.
Guys, if you're a comic coming up, that is like fair game.
I mean, they is like, you start there and then work your way back to what you had for lunch.
So the joke was really just about like how, can we move the Gay Pride parade tonight so I can explain gay rights to my daughter without having to see your get ready for the beepie before noon.
That's basically it.
Like before the leather show starts, like let me get a chance to walk with my daughter.
And then at night, you know, so that was the joke.
So that was the specific flag on that one.
The second one starts as my buddy Jared Harvin, who's now kind of on the show.
He's like a young, very funny comic.
And he's black.
And the time code that they stamped was him speaking.
So I was like, what's that?
But then right afterwards, we start talking about Justin Bieber.
So I figure it's about that.
Right.
So I've actually emailed them.
Now I got to a person, Lucy, if you're watching this.
Actually, because I want to know.
Like, I'm a maniac.
Yeah.
And I want to really challenge them on it.
So she actually responded to me and now I'm pursuing it.
I'm like, I want, because they were like, okay, here's what the strike was.
I was like, I want to know what the warning was.
Tell me exactly what it was.
Because, you know, Justin Bieber makes like how much money for YouTube?
I mean, he's like, that's, it's the second biggest search engine on the internet.
And the first one happens to be Google, owned by both.
And, you know, he's like the biggest artist in the world.
And we did like a little chunk there about his N-word videos.
Oh, yeah.
You see, those are, you know, we made the jokes.
Yeah.
And the whole premise behind it was like, why was he forgiven so quick?
Was it because he makes so much money for Usher?
And we just kind of bashed Justin Bieber a little bit and, you know, talked about that.
And so I think it was that, but they didn't say that, which is interesting.
They gave the time code they gave was just Jared saying, you know, I like any type of music.
And so I think it was the Bieber thing, but they don't want to admit it.
So now that's why I'm pursuing it.
I think it's the music thing.
It could be the music thing.
You'd be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, Leonard Skinner?
Yeah.
It's a strike, dude.
They had a Confederate flag on one of their albums.
Sorry, I'm being loud.
I know you don't like loud.
I can tell you.
Because like, you're one of those comedic genius, kind of demure writer guys.
And then I come in and I'm like, look at me.
I have no structure in form.
And I didn't kill.
Yeah.
That's like what some comics.
Like, you'll come in and you'll say, you know, I was a class clown growing up and I was the center of 10.
And there's some comics like, I was a quiet, introverted kid.
That's like, you know, Seren Roller.
I turn out like the amazing stuff.
And then, yeah, we're just like, look at me.
I'm going to do whatever it takes.
You know, whatever.
I was a kid they all thought was going to shoot up the school.
Have that vote, dude.
Have that vote.
Yeah, you either go one way or the other.
Thank God you found comedy.
Yeah.
Like, if I didn't find comedy, I'd be working out like a Kenko's.
But if you didn't find comedy, there'd be a lot of dead people in the Kenko.
See, we just got to strike for that.
No way we're not going to get a strike for it.
Mark this time code because it's going to come back.
It's going to haunt us.
Now, were there consequences for your channel when you get strikes?
Do they like, what do they do?
Suspend you and demonetize you?
Yeah, so you lose, you know, because you monetize, so you lose the income for a week.
They also shoot your numbers down.
That's obvious.
You can feel that.
But they take you off.
So I couldn't use my account for seven days.
Oh, man.
So seven days.
So the way it works when you read it is the first strike, they suspend you for seven days.
If you get the second strike within 90 days, then they suspend you for like a month.
And then if you get the third strike within 90 days, they just take your channel down.
Oh, man.
So, yeah.
So that's what they do.
Good luck on the third strike.
Well, I'm only at one.
I grown.
And it's a really weird system because anyone can flag you.
Yeah.
Anyone can flag you and complain.
Then I guess the algorithm looks for words or something.
They take you down.
Then they have a human review it.
And by human, they mean like some 19-year-old with purple hair who just got back from some protests who does just like, who said it?
Looks at my face and goes, white man, out.
Don't take it down.
He doesn't have his pronouns in his description.
The pronouns are in the bio.
It's out.
And so.
Yeah, the manual review always baffles me because the algorithm I get, like the robot's not going to understand the joke.
But then when the human comes along and is like, oh, yeah, that is offensive.
That always blows me away.
We had our vaccinate me Elmo doll commercial, and the robot said, This is made for children.
Right.
So it got moved to kids-only YouTube.
Oh, wow, that's hilarious.
And so we said, That's clearly a mistake.
And we appeal it.
And then a human at YouTube is like, Yep, that's for kids.
Yes, so yeah, you know, they don't even, they're not really looking at it too closely.
Yeah, I got a weird one on my channel.
Like, I do like satirical news videos sometimes.
And then a couple weeks ago, I had an email from YouTube and it said, Do you need help?
Someone notified us that you have content referencing suicide and self-harm.
Sometimes we all have negative thoughts.
And the only time I have ever referenced suicide on my channel ever is in like Epstein didn't kill himself jokes.
And I'm like, and I'm like, so I emailed, I responded to it because that was the first time I ever got.
And I'm like, what is this condo about?
And then it just comes back, you know, you can't, no reply to this email.
So I like that they'll reach out and be like, do you need help?
And then if you respond, they're like, no, we're not talking to you.
There's someone there for you.
It's hilarious.
Yeah.
Flower bed.
I know they have a tough job to do.
It's very, it's a wide net.
I know this is new, but like, yeah, they got to come up with a better system.
Maybe start by putting like just saying, oh, like qualifying for comedy.
And then just like, it's a comedy channel, you know?
Like, as long as I'm not like, you know, doing what Kathy Griffin did, you know, which in my opinion, that's like, yeah, you don't do that.
Yeah.
The sitting president.
Make an ISIS video.
Yeah.
I mean, even if it's not the president, then you're not people that you're not.
Yeah, you shouldn't do that.
You know, shouldn't do that.
So it's like, I understand there's always a line, but you got to take somehow.
We have to figure out a way to get context back on the end.
Context is just gone.
It's wild.
You're not a prop comic.
You don't hold up beheaded.
No.
She should have been like prop comic defense.
Yeah.
That's what she should have done.
Kathy Griffin should have been like, what did that?
You know, it's just, and then pulled up other heads and like, that's what I do.
It's like Ruppets.
Like, what's the thing that does all the props?
Dunham.
Jeff Dunham.
Yeah, Jeff Dunham.
Yeah.
Jeff Dunham.
Yeah.
Carrot Top.
I was like, these guys make a lot of money.
I mean, they carrot top and Jeff Dunham.
Paulie Shore comes by here all the time.
I don't think it's Pauli Shore.
What do you mean he comes by here?
No, not here.
Like the comedy clubs.
Oh, yeah.
I met him when I first moved out here because his mom owns the comedy store.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And so he was like involved there for a long time.
And when I first moved out to LA, I knew a producer that knew him and was like, oh, you guys both do comedy.
Like, you should meet him.
So I went down to the comedy store patio to meet him one night.
And he, and I go up to him and I'm sitting down and I go, oh, I'm Adam.
You know, our friend says, he goes, oh, nice to meet you.
No, he didn't.
Yes, he did.
And he touched my face and it made me so uncomfortable.
And then it became like when I moved out here, I was a producer's assistant at Conan's Tonight Show.
And it became like I was coming out here thinking he would help me get on stage at the comedy store.
And it became apparent he was just trying to use me to like, hey, I need to get some late-night appearances.
And then you're like, oh, this is how this town is.
Yeah, exactly.
Friendship is, you know, it's a barter system.
Yeah.
All interactions are really like a barter system here.
Yeah.
It's not a real place.
I really miss Adam Ford.
Now, most hate mail that we look at is just a single message that we get that some crazy person who hates the Babylon B for some reason.
But this one is kind of an epic saga that I wasn't 100% following.
So I'm kind of curious how exactly this unfolded.
This is from someone named Sherry Oppenheim.
She says, I really don't care about your feelings regarding people who are not totally heterosexual, but your part about Amy Snyder was so far over the top regarding your mean, nasty, and anything negative I can think of.
You have no right to be purposefully hurtful.
It is just not right.
So, the Babylon Bee support, which is, I guess, just our one of our email support team, says, Why was it hurtful?
So, then we have a message.
Someone wants to read this.
She replies to that.
I'll read this.
In answer to your question, sources claim that the host even gave a clue that this is one of two genders.
Oh, I think she's quoting our Babylon Bee story.
Okay.
There.
So she's saying this is what was offensive.
Maybe you should read this because I don't know what I'm reading.
Okay.
Sources claim that the host even gave a clue that this is one of two genders, but Amy still did not get the question correct.
Amy started to answer the question by writing what is different and unique to each person based upon how they identify because gender is a complex subject with no definitive answer, but ran out of room.
Consequently, Roan Talsma was declared the winner by writing what is female.
All right, so this was our Babylon B article that was Amy Schneider loses after not being able to answer a question about what a woman is.
So then this is her comment on that.
I think gender is two chromosomes, but you detailed insult was over the top.
This was not funny.
Forcing gender ID on kids is not good.
A direct hit on someone very intelligent is also not good.
For the most part, I enjoy your humor, but this was not humor.
So then the Babylon B support replies, What insults are you referring to about her stupidity not answering a non-question?
If you don't see it, I may have to unsubscribe from your site.
The Babylon Bee support, why are you referring to Amy Amy Schneider as Schneider is a man?
We are not calling Amy Schneider stupid.
The trans community refused to answer these kinds of questions.
Please note that joke explanations come at a cost.
We charge a fee of $100.
Where should we send the invoice for this joke explanation?
Sherry then replies, Stuff it up, you're strawberry.
Amy is an adult.
Try to bill me.
I quit your site.
The Babylon Bee then sent her a p-call for $100, and I don't think she paid it yet.
Oh, man.
So that's the saga of Sherry and Amy.
Oh, that's wonderful.
All right, if you want more hate mail, more crazy stories from Jarrett, and a classic B story of the week and some subscriber headlines, and the rest of the Giannis Pappas interview.
Wow, this is going to be a crazy packed episode.
Become a Babylon B subscriber at BabylonB.com/slash plans and come join us in the subscriber lounge for all you freeloaders.
We'll see you next week.
Coming up next for Babylon B subscribers.
That's when she said, You cannot pull yourself up by your bootstraps.
It's physically impossible.
His handle is investigate 311.
What was three of them?
I don't know.
Is it the band?
The band.
Threw a punch and I was like, and then he threw another punch and I was like, and I was like, what am I doing?
I've never fought before in my life.
Greek Orthodox are like, yeah, you're, we also have a different Easter.
Uh-huh.
Your guy's Easter is like a dress rehearsal for Jesus.
Another edition of the Bee Weekly from the dedicated team of certified fake news journalists you can trust here at the Babylon Bee, reminding you that someone out there knows something about Carmen.