Smashing Leftist Late Night Shows | A Bee Interview with Greg Gutfeld
Greg Gutfeld, the new king of Late Night, joins Kyle and Adam to talk about how he is destroying all the other Late Night hosts, cancel culture, and why he continues to call Brian Stelter fat. Greg never planned on working in Late Night. He first started writing in the magazine world then working his way up into shows on Fox before landing on his current show, Gutfeld! Greg is bringing his live shows to new cities. Check out the links below for how to get FREE tickets. Get FREE tickets to see Greg in Dallas here: Greg Gutfeld Events Check out where to watch Greg here: Greggutfeld.com Kyle and Adam find out how Gutfeld! has evolved over his time on the air. Greg talks about how he became the Late Night king. Kyle and Adam find out why Greg goes so hard after the CNN pundits. Kyle and Adam both find out why they were rejected from working with Greg. Adam finds out what Greg thinks about the current state of cancel culture. In the Subscriber Portion, Kyle talks about Greg's almost Muslim Gay bar and how his position has evolved. Greg answers the ever great 10 questions.
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It's time for another interview on the Babylon B. Hey, everyone.
Welcome to a special Babylon B interview show.
Yeah, we have a great guest tonight.
Somebody we've wanted for a while.
He's the new king of late night.
The king of late night.
We finally got one of the late night hosts.
We've been trying to get the Jimmys and all of those guys.
We finally got the number one rated.
We got the guys at higher ratings with all of them.
The host of Gutfeld, Greg Gutfeld, is here.
We talked to him.
I'm sorry, you mean the host of Gutfeld!
Gutfeld!
Exclamation point.
And if you speak Spanish, it's Gutfeld exclamation mark with an upside-down exclamation point.
At the beginning.
Yes, that's how it transmits when it's like the Spanish channels.
The subtitles, it puts another exclamation point.
But Gutfeld, a lot of great thoughts on comedy, cancel the culture, wokeness, late night hosts, and where that's all going.
And some cool stories about Jimmy Fallon and punching things.
He was fans of ours, and we're fans of his and we had a great, great conversation.
Talk.
So let's jump right in.
So do you like doing stuff that's more as opposed to, you know, parts of your show are script and parts of it are off the cuff.
You enjoy the stuff that's a little more loose and improvised than what's written ahead of time?
It's a great question because I don't know.
I'm a writer.
I wasn't in TV.
I was a magazine dude.
So I'm always tethered to the written word.
And when I write stuff, I really, really like it.
And then when I get in front of the camera, I regret that I wrote so much.
And it's like really, it's like I go like, oh my God, I could have just got, because, I mean, if you look at, if you look at ratings, the people, and I don't know how they figured this out because I was talking to my producer, Tom, I'm going like, how do they know when to tune in?
Like, they go, oh, my God, like, all of a sudden your ratings go up because something great happened.
That doesn't make sense.
But then, like, for some reason, when I stop reading something, the stuff goes up, which means they really like the discussion.
Oh, okay.
Back and forth, maybe because it's more surprising or whatnot.
So then I go, like, why do I waste all this time?
Like, the five, for example, the five intros for all of us is probably between like 30 and 50 seconds with some sound on tape.
You know, I'll write a monologue that's like four and a half, five minutes, and I spend way too much time on it in the morning.
I drive everybody crazy.
And then I'm like going like, why am I doing this?
Because I do think the people, they just want to hear everybody bounce off each other.
I learned that from the McLaughlin group.
That's where I got my, like, I didn't care about anything political in my basically until I saw the McLaughlin group and I saw how much fun it was that they were talking about this stuff.
And that, like, I also love John McLaughlin because he had this stentorian, you know, issue one, frog.
And I just enjoyed that thing, even though I really didn't know what was going on.
But I learned a lot.
But yeah, so your point is eventually I have to start cutting down that stuff just because I'm getting older and sloppier and I don't like talking.
I don't like reading a lot of stuff.
And you notice that with as people get older, they just go, what do you think?
They sit and they just go, what do you think?
And I should be, I'm at that stage where I should just be saying, what do you think?
Well, that's great.
It sounds good to be in the position where you're the most highest rated late night host and you don't like to write, talk, or read.
There's nothing better than writing.
Yeah.
I love writing.
And then you, and you will do a rehearsal and everything sounds great.
And then for some reason, when you start including other variables, like the people that are staring at you and you feel like I intrinsically feel guilt that I'm wasting people's time all the time when I'm talking, like it's like, so you have people and I go like, I want to give Jamie Lissow more time or Katie Pablich or whatever.
And they have to listen to me.
But I don't realize that they're just like happy, you know, to sit there and wait their turn.
But I always get like, maybe it's just too much.
And, but then I look at Tucker.
Tucker will do an entire like 18 to 20 two minute block.
And I'm glued.
I'm glued to it.
You know, even when he gets, you know, when he, when stuff I disagree with or whatever, I just, because it's so well written and it's the pacing is so good.
So that is an argument against it.
I mean, I guess you could go, remember, remember I'm looking at your background, thinking of like Glenn Beck.
Remember Glenn Beck?
Yeah, yeah, just like for an hour.
Yeah.
You know, chalkboard or whatever.
And then he'd bring some people in.
But it's like, I don't know.
So I guess I'm in the middle.
I don't know what it is.
I don't know what I am other than like an energy creating machine.
So whatever comes out of my face at that time.
You don't seem very energetic.
So we were wondering, you know, the name of your show is Gutfeld, but do we have to shout it every time?
There's an exclamation point at the end.
Gutfeld.
So there's a story behind it, but the story, it's not that great.
It's basically when I would do Red Eye or the Five, there's a sound guy named Tony.
And so when they, you know, they check you in to make sure your mic is there.
And he would just yell my name.
Like I'd sit down and go and, because like I would be out, I would be tired after doing the five, which is hilarious because what am I doing?
I'm just sitting at homeroom, but I would, he'd go, gutfeld.
That's what he did.
And I'd just go like up like this.
And it was like a reminder that I was doing a show.
And it was like, and so I, whenever, like, so the original title was The World Screams Gutfeld.
And then it was shortened to just Gutfeld Exclamation.
But I couldn't have the guts to say the original title.
I love the time it would be, it would say Gutfeld.
Okay.
So originally it was Gutfeld exclamation point.
The world screams is the subhead that's above it.
But then I was thinking, and I don't know if you watch the show that closely, you don't have to, but now the subhead always changes every night.
So there's a little, it's like the Simpsons chalkboard.
It's like there's always a little thing about me with my perversions or anxieties and things are up there.
But it was originally just going to be the world screams guttfeld.
And it's because it's so over the top and stupid.
No, the world isn't screaming, Gutfeld.
But then it was this, well, just do Gutfeld exclamation point.
And I didn't realize that the exclamation point was going to be like a sticking point for like people at work immediately started making fun of me, like executives.
And then, of course, Jesse.
And I'm like, I go, is this, is it like uncommon to have an exclamation point?
Is it too earnest?
It's, I just thought it was so silly.
Yeah.
It was just silly.
You know, I'll just do it.
And it was great because the critics went after that while I hacked them to death.
My numbers.
I hacked them to pieces.
Well, it's better than ending it with a question mark.
And it's like, Gutfeld?
Although that's pretty funny.
That is pretty funny because Gutfeld's like, what's this?
That's what all the other late night hosts who didn't see you coming up in the ratings have beat them.
That's what they're thinking.
They're going guttural.
The Twitter thing's like, who is that?
Yeah.
What's that?
It's like, yes.
I go, that's your problem, not mine.
And now you so that's the origin story.
That's the origin story.
I don't think that was a bad story at all.
I enjoyed hearing where that comes from.
It was okay.
He's giving it a five out of ten from Kyle.
Well, it's hard to impress you, Kyle.
But before I go any further, you got we had to like establish that, like, what big fans we are of you guys.
Um, you know, just people on the five.
And by the way, I was watching this, I was watching the evolution of the Babylon B as it was kind of happening.
There was a weird period where, like, your toe was in the water.
And I don't even know if I'm explaining this right, but it wasn't what it was, it was something else.
It was more, and it still is religious and I would Christian, and it, but it was something that like it all of a sudden went into this place where, yes, we're funny.
And so it's like you were like, okay, is this something for people who are religious who go to mass and stuff?
And then, but then it's like, all of a sudden, you start going, that's funny.
That's funny.
And then all of a sudden, the funny things were, there were, there were hit and misses, but then they just became hits.
And it was.
I would say that they're really rare.
And it's like you've actually kind of shook the just like the onion moniker or the description because that's a great compliment.
They're like the onion, but now you're better than the onion because the onion has lost its.
I mean, I don't, I don't see here's a good measurement.
I don't see the onions headlines being retweeted anymore.
I see Babylon B constantly.
And that may be because I follow you, but it's also like you also have the people that are changing the world.
I mean, you had Elon Musk on, and when you have the most important guy on the planet right now doing, you know, who knows, that's a pretty big deal.
So I'm blowing smoke up your junkie.
No, continue.
We can do this for the whole hour.
I mean, it's a really, it's a great thing.
It's a, you know, what?
Okay, so it goes back to like the Red Eye days and when I was at Huffington Post.
My whole philosophy was switching the narrative from the right being dean.
I called it the Dean Wormer effect.
And I wrote a piece in the Huffington Post like 15 years ago or so.
It was called the Dean Wormer effect.
And it was like everything about politics or pop culture was Republicans and Christians were Dean Wormer, and everybody else was the cool people were Animal House, the left.
And my goal was: one day we're going to flip this, but it's just going to be, it's going to be hard and blah, blah, blah.
And Red Eye was, in my opinion, the first step.
It wasn't that half hour news hour because they did it the wrong way.
It was, it was Red Eye because Red Eye decided Red Eye was like the Babylon B in the sense that you didn't decide that this is what you were going to be.
You just were being it.
Look at that.
Babylon being it.
But like you just kind of just kind of you grew into it.
I never said that Red Eye was going to be the daily show.
I just figured it was going to be something on really late at night that reflected the weirdness of the crap that I was doing at Stuff Magazine and Maxim.
Really weird stuff.
And then that switched.
But so the whole thing is, this has been a journey where we have taken the Dean Wormer and the Animal House polarity and we've kind of flipped it.
So now you're the onion, right?
And the onion is gone.
We don't know what the onion is there, but it's not.
So this is part of the whole flipping.
And you're seeing people that are on the right that are having fun.
Sometimes it's really embarrassing.
Like when you we won't name names, but there are young to medium-aged politicians that are trying to be funny on the right.
And it's more like owning the libs and it feels it's silly.
Yeah.
But at least like there's life to this.
And you and then what happens is the defense is the is the hall monitor.
So you have like stelter, you have CNN as this imploding hall monitor.
Now it's just like, look at these, like they are deep.
CNN is Dean Wormer.
The Democrats are Dean Wormer.
Wear your masks.
You're killing people if you don't hunker down.
They are.
It's weird how like there's only two there's only two positions.
And if we take one, they become the other.
So now they're the, and it happened.
I honestly believe it has happened that we are now Animal House and they are Dean Wormer.
You guys did see Animal House.
Yes.
Forget it.
I understand the references.
Exactly.
I'm a Christian, so I have not.
Oh, so you saw Porky's.
Yes.
He's a Lutheran.
So he's important.
I've seen whatever.
Yeah.
Are you a Lutheran?
I am.
Yes.
That's interesting.
When we grew up, I was like, I grew up Catholic.
I never understood what a Lutheran was.
But we were, we like, to us, all those things were weird.
Protestants, Presbyterians.
We had no idea what they were.
And we thought that maybe because our parents didn't see their parents on Sunday, that was like an alien species or something had to be mixed.
I've always described myself as a practicing Lutheran, which is basically a non-practicing Catholic.
Yes.
I love that you're fans.
We are such big fans of yours also.
And I was always a fan going back to Red Eye.
It does feel like what you said where you kind of flipped the script that at some point, you know, it used to feel like sort of the left-wing comics were the ones that were counterculture and punk rock.
And now it feels like, especially in this era of cancel culture and free speech, that it's either the right-wing comics or the centrist comics or even mainstream comics like Chappelle or Louis C.K. that are pushing back.
They may not be conservative, but they're pushing back against wokeism, that that's now the sort of punk rock thing to do.
There's two things in there that, okay, so this is where I don't want to sound like I'm name-dropping, but I am.
So I'm 57.
All the people that I adored in my music world was from, I'd say, 75 to 81.
So that's all that was the punk universe.
All of them are on our side now.
And I won't say who they are, but I talk to them.
I know them.
There are people that text me during the five that if I was, if my 14 or 15 year old self had seen it, would not have slept for the next 40 years.
It's a tragedy that all the people that I adore are now super old and like me and didn't probably wouldn't have liked me back then.
I mean, honestly, like, I mean, like, there are bands that you know that are like, they are all over metal and punk.
It just, I mean, it's, it's mind-blowing.
And not just that, too, but I, like Jose Feliciano, like he, he actually wrote me, uh, I did Felice Navidad with my name in it because I asked him to.
And then you have like the dude from Deep Purple, Richie Blackmore.
And then you have, then you have X.
And you have obviously Johnny Rotten.
See, I am name dropping, but I don't tell you the extent of it, but it's pretty amazing.
Well, I'm glad you got to the names because at first it was like anonymous name dropping.
It was like, I know people.
I won't tell you who they are.
But trust me.
I got some names, I think.
Actually, such a great idea, the anonymous name dropper.
But okay, so you talk about the punk thing.
This is what we're doing is essentially punk.
We're tearing up the script.
It's funny because punk was a reaction to progressive rock.
And in a way that were a reaction to progressivism, that I just came up with now on the fly.
That's improvisation.
But anyway, the uh, in the um, uh, uh, but the other thing is about the comedians is that uh the ones that are being really shy about this are I think the best example is Sarah Silverman, who immediately went with the woke and is now seeing that it's eating her up.
She got in trouble for something, so now she's seeing that this is a problem.
And what you're getting instead of is instead of a fight, they're saying, you know what, I've had it, I'm just getting out of this, I can't deal with it.
And it's like, no, actually, you should deal with it.
And the people that are dealing with it are actually winning.
The people, the comedians that are coming on my show see their ticket sales go up when they're, when they're traveling, doesn't happen on Kimmel, Colbert or Fallon, but when they come on my show the loyalty is so strong.
You come on this show uh, and we got great numbers people there and and did you see that survey?
More Democrats yeah, watch Tucker AND THE FIVE than CNN.
I think Gutfeld's number four, but that's kind of interesting.
So you're getting, you're getting.
I, I said today that we're drinking their milkshake and uh, a cultural reference to uh, there will be blood.
Yeah, i've seen that one.
Yeah, I was gonna ask you about those, those numbers, because you know you're sort of seeing now a lot of people know that you're beating these other late night shows in the ratings, but it shows that you're trending well among Democrats as well, that there are just Republicans that aren't just, you know, sort of in the tank for your side, that are also watching this.
Now they you can use the Howard Stern thing, which is that they're, they hate watching you, but I I wonder if it's just that we don't.
The political affiliations are not as deep as we think it is.
It's like I can't believe you're a Democrat.
It's like, or I can't believe you're, it's like I just ticked that box and I never really changed it.
Or i'm like, not that I don't even think about politics until one day out of four years.
And I think like I, you know, I look at my parents.
My parents were both Democrats but they voted for Reages and I think maybe there's a little bit of you know, maybe these Democrats are more Republican than we know, but still that would also might apply to CNN and and Msnbc too, but it is it's, I think.
I think that has a lot to do with maybe, maybe the quality of the programming.
It's just better and it's more interesting.
And also, you know, we do have I we can laugh about the five is four to one, but on CNN and Msnbc it's five to zero.
They're, they don't have the dissenting voice anymore.
They used to, but we have, you know.
And also there's a weird spectrum on the five.
Uh, you know, it's where you know i'm, i'm right on guns, but i'm way left on drugs and and you know, and then it's weird.
It's like with me and judge, Judge Shanine, being on, like we disagree on so much stuff, but it's okay yeah, but you know, because she's hot.
I just want that taken out of context.
I'm sure we're trying to come up with out context Theater did it once on Gutfeld on their weekly show OUT OF Context Theater, where we have something totally benign but then show you where you can pick it.
But it was a lot of work.
It's a great skit and you could just like like.
You just like, pick like the four things.
Like I like to eat children, something you know.
But it would be like you know it would be in a greater thing.
I don't know.
I like to eat children's vitamins because they're easy to digest.
And it could be like, I like to eat children because they're easy to digest.
But anyway, it was a good idea.
And I don't know why I'm talking about it, but that's because the important thing is that we got Gutfeld saying he likes to eat children.
Now we can use that out of context now because you said it here.
Yeah.
Well, speaking of eating children and drugs and all that and women being hot, you know, you have a you have a conservative audience.
And, you know, despite a lot of Democrats tuning in, you do have a large conservative base.
Do you get a lot of hate mail?
Do you get a lot of people that think that you go too far?
You know, we experience this at the Babylon B.
Yeah, like we're having a conservative Christian.
Yeah, we're a Christian organization.
But every time we say the word vagina or the word sex, it's like there's just females saying you're disgusting.
And we say it all the time.
You know what it is?
It's the blessing of attracting a family.
So like I have to remind my, like, it's really funny.
The five is the best example of this because at five o'clock, families are watching that.
I know this because the whole impetus behind animals are great was an experiment to annoy people.
It was like, I bet if I do something for kids with a weird jingle, animals are great, it will get the kids and drive everybody crazy.
And it did.
It's like phenomenally popular on the five.
It's the most popular like thing aside from the show is animals are great because the kids are like singing it.
Harold Ford's kids, that's all they talk about.
They don't even know what I'm saying.
My point is, so you, you, you understand that like you're getting the people you want to get, but you're also getting their values, the people that are in the room.
And when you're doing, when you're on Rachel Maddow or Don Lemon or whatever, there's no kids in the room.
There's no, there's none of that background.
It's like you could, you could make all kinds of now that I don't factor that in when I do Gutfeld, but I do get, I get stuff about jokes about drugs.
And that's a conversation that like I would like to have with every person who complains, but I can't.
It's like, it's not funny when you joke about drugs.
And I go, well, you have to watch the fact that I talk seriously about this stuff all the time.
And I think that the way that we're dealing with drugs is deadlier than the way we're not dealing with it.
But that, I can't do that with everybody.
But I do understand that that, like, they grew up.
It's weird, though, because like, if you're 60 right now, you grew up with drugs.
If you're 70, you really.
So it's like, who's the old, who's the 95-year-old?
And they're still there.
They're still saying, like, why do you keep making those pot jokes?
Also, they don't understand a lot of the, and it is repetitive, the, the, the, um, insults to cat or kill me.
There are people that do believe that me and kill me hate each other.
And it's so obvious we don't, but it's like, it's because they don't, they don't, you know, it's not, they're not used to roasts.
So these are not people that watch comedy roasts.
So it's the first time when I'm sitting there and I'm just making fun of cat and this hypothetical and unproven drug use or however, but it's like, it's like, that's a roasty thing.
And people don't, this is a group that's new to this stuff.
So they think like, why are you so mean to these people?
You really upset.
They always say, you always write to me, you really upset her.
The swearing is an issue.
We bleep it out.
But I do get a lot of stuff for swearing.
But the other, the other flip side of this is the, I call this the naughty appreciation.
And I learned this when I was, when I would go over to my friend's house and my friend had brothers and sisters.
And if they said anything bad, their parents who are strictly Catholic would like, they'd get in so much trouble.
But if I said it, it'd be so naughty.
You're so naughty.
And I realized that on the five, I can get away with saying, like, today I said something about Toobin, which was so easy.
Jesse said that maybe Zucker got off easy.
And I said, well, so did Toobin.
And it was like such a silly Michael Scott type joke.
But it's like the producer groans in my ear, but it's like, you know, everybody, including their grandmother at home, just got like, oh, he's so naughty.
He's a naughty bull.
If you can just kind of like ride, if you can ride that harmlessness as opposed to kind of like creepiness, then you're good.
None of my jokes are like, like I will admit when I get creepy and I go, ooh, that sounds weird.
I didn't mean it to sound weird.
But it generally, I try to overcome that stuff.
But I'd say that it's a small, it's always an increasingly smaller number, if that makes sense, of people that are offended because they get used to it or they understand that it's not meant the way they think it means.
But I do think the swearing is an issue.
And I actually try to tone that back because that's easy to tone back.
And I think people do get upset about my constant jokes about Brian Stelter's weight, but there's a philosophy behind that.
That if this is a person, the worst thing you can be called in life is a racist in 2022.
He's done that.
And that is something that you cannot change.
Somebody calls you a racist.
That's stuck on you.
It's a brand.
So I like, all bets are off.
If you're going to call my friends and anybody at Fox of Racist, I'm going to call you a fat pig.
And by the way, you can change that.
So it's like, there's nothing worse.
Like, you can't tell me, like, I've heard, but he's very sensitive about his weight.
I go, well, you know what?
We're sensitive about being called racists, right?
I'd rather have you call me fat than a bigot.
Although there are some people that might feel differently.
I don't get the tubing getting off joke.
Can you explain that?
It's actually, you know what?
It's actually not even that good of a joke because he didn't get off easy.
He was interrupted.
Doesn't that tell you that the CNN story is a lie?
That it isn't about this relationship.
It's about the intermingling of that woman with the Cuomo camp.
So it's not just about Chris Cuomo helping Andrew Cuomo.
It's about that girl and Jeff Zucker helping out Cuomo.
Because the fact that he's saying, I have to resign because of a 20-year relationship.
And then she says, we got closer during COVID.
None of that is true.
Like they've been, I like the phrase open secret.
They've been an open secret forever.
But well, if that's the case, then why are they being, there's something else that's coming out.
And it's like, this is great because Chris Cuomo is like, I think Dana said it today on the five.
There was a sign that he had a sharpened knife ready to go.
And this is it.
It was the, it was the involvement of this woman and she's friends, she's in a relationship with Zuckerberg because we can't, you cannot believe that a relationship between two divorced adults would cause you to resign because you didn't register with HR.
That didn't happen.
I don't even know how they thought that we would believe that, but I almost did.
But I'm like, wow, that's, is that true?
Could that really happen?
I'd be like, wait a minute.
Two people off in front of the boy.
Congratulations, the first time the phrase hasn't been used on the battle.
Now you said it twice.
I know it's been used twice.
I've been doing that on the five a lot.
I've been introducing words that haven't been used.
I said jackwagon yesterday.
I think that's the first time.
And I said it in a way that you can't believe.
I said, wow, I almost called Justin Trudeau a jackwagon.
So I didn't call him one.
I said, I almost called him one.
I was, it almost came out of my mouth.
I feel like we should start a challenge with you where the Babylon Bee sends you words that we try to get onto the five.
I would be, I would love that challenge.
By the way, I know that you guys have a brand, but I would love to do stuff with you.
And I've, I, you know, anytime.
And I think I actually, maybe it wouldn't have been you guys directly, but I approached you guys a couple of times about doing stuff, but I think it was like so complicated, or you guys weren't interested.
But it was about like, we'd definitely be interested.
We'd love to collaborate.
Adam was the one who said we weren't interested.
I'm very interested.
I turned it down.
I was like, no, get this, get this out of there.
I talked to, like, I had my producers like contact because we didn't like the fun.
The thing about, you know, you guys is that we don't know who does the writing.
Who does these things?
And then I'm like thinking to myself, I go, you know, sometimes it could be like how we used to do captions and stuff and matching.
There's like you send a picture around or a story and people write onto them and then somebody at the end picks the best one.
It could have been that way or it could have been somebody who does it alone.
But anyway, but I mean, we actually thought hard enough about that.
So that like we were going, and that was before the launch of Gutfeld.
That was like probably a month or so behind that launch date.
And we know we, but it was hard to figure out who to talk to at that point.
I even had, I even had, who's the dude?
The business guy on my show.
Seth Dylan?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That was right when the show started, I think, but I didn't talk to him about anything because I didn't, you know, I don't know what line I shouldn't cross.
Well, you guys actually sent me a thing saying, do you want to contribute writing for Gutfeld?
And so who's you?
It was me.
And so I. What?
It was you and somebody else.
But then you, what did you say?
I said, sure.
And I clicked on the application link.
I filled out an application and you guys sent me a rejection letter.
Flowerbed.
That is hysterical.
I did not know that.
So what happened was you, what ended up happening was, oh my, somebody on my behest got you.
And then you ended up going through the bureaucratic.
I clicked the link or whatever they send me.
I thought it was you guys.
I'm like, wow, these guys are.
And I guys are really into themselves.
I never got an offer from you guys, but when I left Ellen in June, before I started working for you guys, I emailed one of your producers also and said, hey, I'd love to work there.
I never heard anything back.
But we would love to collaborate.
No, I would think it would be awesome.
And that's crazy.
That is so because we, I actually, I would, I'll just like hire you now.
This is like, because I do need, I need, um, Seth isn't going to like this.
This is like, we're doing a Zoom interview.
But, but, no, but, you know, right, writers are hard to come by.
You guys are.
And that's why it's like, it's, it's like, Fox should try to buy you.
You want to make an offer right now?
I mean, we'll then hate, then your brand would be hated by people that you would actually want to court.
Like, you could probably still get so many more people if you weren't affiliated with me.
But I'm going to like, I'm pushing this.
That's great.
Stupid.
Really stupid.
That's happened before.
It's happened before with people.
They get lost in the world.
We could just interview right here.
Like, what are your three greatest strengths and three greatest?
Yes, this guy's going to turn into a job interview.
I want to go, but first I have to go over some of your tweets.
Yes.
Problematic.
Yes, they're problem.
I'm not saying they're offensive.
I'm just saying they're problematic, which is worse than offensive.
Yes.
Because problematic is just endless.
Well, it's interesting that you bring up offense and things that are problematic.
Because I know in your book, it's from several years ago, The Joy of Hate, How to Triumph in Era of Phony Outrage.
You know that?
I think that's 11 years ago.
Yeah.
But a lot of what you talk about there, I remember Yoda Line where you said something like tolerance masks fascism.
And you talk a lot about, you know, the way this sort of ideal of fake tolerance was used to silence people, to discredit other people.
And it seems like in some ways since then, it got worse for several years.
But now with these sort of independent platforms taking off and sort of mainstream people like Dave Chappelle or Joe Rogan taking a stand, do you feel like more optimistic or pessimistic about where we're at now?
Do you think it's kind of the tide is starting to change at all?
Yes.
In the sense that when I read or even say the things that I'm saying, I feel like a cliche.
Like when I start talking about cancel culture, I go, oh, I'm now the guy that's like, remember the guy that goes, politically correct?
Now it's like, now it's like, oh, here come the cancel cult.
It's like, I think it's gotten to a point, like making fun of the woke is almost trite.
Oh, it's just.
Because I think that it's become such a joke.
And it's and like all that, it is, it's kind of like now you have people like Tim Dylan, which are like liberals, but are just the sensibilities are so anti-woke.
It's, it's amazing.
I do think it, I do think it has gotten a lot better, but we never know until something new comes along.
Yeah.
I didn't think anything could be worse than the PC culture.
And then the, but the woke culture was like this offspring or a direct offspring.
But yes, I know that it's gotten better because the stuff that I wrote sounds trite.
Like it sounds kind of like it's been done to like I like it does feel kind of tired to like talk about cancel culture because so many people are talking about it and bad.
And then when you have Mika Brzezinski today attributing you know Whoopi Goldberg to cancel culture, it's like, all right, so now when that dimwit is using it, then it's officially over.
You have to declare it over.
And that may, you know, Taylor Swift decides to do it.
And it may be helping to kill also like with somebody like Whoopi Goldberg, where it's coming back to kind of eat their own, where she's someone who's kind of advocated for other people being censored or canceled.
And it's kind of what people on the right were warning all the time, like eventually they're going to eat you alive.
And now that's what's happening.
I swear, I swear if that was like part of joy of hate.
And I think I'm, again, it's like, because I, I know working with people every day that they get tired of hearing what I say.
And I get tired of hearing, like, it's like, it's like, I say this so much that I'm tired myself.
But I have, I've said that.
It's like, it's going to come for you.
I swear to God.
And it's like, well, I would say this after I would forgive somebody for something.
And I go, you know, you should be doing this too because they're going to come for you.
So you got to learn to be like, you got to forgive those.
You got to forgive those that you don't like.
You know, not just the people you like.
So Mika was like defending Whoopee, but it's like, she wouldn't do that.
That's easy.
That would be like me defending Dana.
You got to defend.
I got to defend somebody as loathsome as Keith Olberman.
You have to defend Jeffrey Toobin.
Do it right now.
Well, I could.
I could.
I would say that I would say, here's how I would defend Director Jerry.
Take the hat off for them.
Who hasn't?
Who hasn't almost been in that situation where like, okay, for example, like I have this thing.
Watch it.
I close it.
See?
And I open it and I close it.
And I do that for a reason because like, I don't know where I am or what I'm, and it's like he, I don't even know how I'm defending him now.
What were you doing when you just, I was afraid you were going to do a magic thing where you do that and then you're naked when it peels off.
This is all he did.
But uh, but you, but I would say that it was a mistake.
But what's interesting about that is that there might be a whole nother story there, like on why he wasn't fired, because whoever was on the receiving end might also have been at CNN.
So that's like a thing that no one ever really approached.
It's like, it's like, oh my god, he was, you know, pleasuring himself to porn, but it might not have been that.
It might have been he was with another, another engaged and consensual partner.
And that person could also have been a woman who worked at CNN and they didn't want that.
I'm saying this is all as hypothetical or whatever.
But I'm just saying that it was interesting that they could, because if they fired him, maybe they would have had to fire somebody else.
And that somebody else would have had a case for something.
You know what I mean?
I feel like you should do a podcast just on your CNN sex scandal conspiracy theories.
I said that today during the break.
I spent like a whole hour on this stuff.
Human beings make, human beings are biological creatures that have desires.
And I don't, I don't even, I don't, that's what the thing that bugged me about the Zucker thing is that he should have been fired for his terrible content.
Yeah.
Dividing a country for terrible ratings.
There's like 17 things you should be fired for.
The Russian collusion stuff, anti-police, pro-crime.
And I'm short, you know, I'm making these, but you can validate all of these.
Not for like a consensual relationship with, and even let's say they were married.
You know, still like you can clean that, that's, they're still adults and it screws people over and the families, but that's still a personal thing.
Adults do really, even religious people do really crappy things because we got this thing inside us that is designed to make us procreate.
And we, when it takes control of you, you are, you're not even, you can't even tell the time of day.
You know, I'm not speaking from experience.
There's a certain kind of time loss.
There's a time loss whenever you get involved in biological events, whether it's eating or sex.
You don't even know what time.
It's like you could, how long were we doing this?
How long have I been eating these hoagies?
You know, coming up next for Babylon B subscribers.
You once planned to build a gay bar next to the Ground Zero Mosque.
Do you have, do you ever hear from the other late night hosts that are on the other side of the political spectrum?
The only interaction I think I've ever had was with Jimmy Fallon.
This has been another edition of the Bee Weekly from the dedicated team of certified fake news journalists you can trust here at the Babylon Bee, reminding you that AOC is definitely the worst.