THE BEE WEEKLY: Elon Musk Recap, Demanding Figgy Pudding, And Bad Christmas Books
The Babylon Bee had an insane week and comedian Kellen Erskine is in the studio to talk to Kyle and Ethan about the Elon Musk interview and also to figure out what the deal is with figgy pudding. Adam Yenser joins them to share with them The Weakly News and then the guys analyze figgy pudding hype while discussing bad Christmas books you should never read. Be sure to watch the recent interview with Elon Musk here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvGnw1sHh9M Be sure to check out Kellen Erskine's podcast The Book Pile, which he barely mentioned: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-book-pile/id1541602946 Kyle and Ethan get invited to a wedding from a man who asked them for marriage advice, and The Bee crew reviews their banger and bomb of the week. Adam Yenser brings the news and the guys look back on their recent Elon Musk interview. They eat figgy pudding and talk about the best and worst Christmas books and then read this week's hate mail. In the subscriber lounge, Kyle and Ethan help Kellen to be a better comedian, read bonus hate mail, hear from a Reformed dating site about Catholic Patrick's new profile, talk more about Christmas, and read subscriber-submitted headlines. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all!
Elizabeth Warren and Corey Booker both have COVID.
What have those two been up to, eh?
A pack of revenge-seeking monkeys threw 250 dogs off of a building in India, and you thought Michael Vick was mean.
A body positivity group is asking doctors not to weigh their patients.
So now on their charts, they just write fat.
Hey, here's a crazy story.
We interviewed Elon Musk, and it was nuts.
Hey, hey, Kellen Erskine is here, and we're going to break down the best and worst Christmas book so you don't have to and eat some figgy pudding.
All this and more on the bee weekly.
Intro, how was your week, guest host Kellen Erskine?
I'm just reading off the notes.
Guest host colon, Kellen Erskine.
I'm just completely mentally checked out at this point.
Oh, yeah.
It's been a while.
We're all burned out and dying.
Because most of the people in this, some of the people in this room interviewed Elon Musk.
Yeah, a couple of people.
Two of the three people on camera right now just interviewed Elon Musk.
And it was like, we didn't know until last week at the very end of the week.
And we'ren't sure it was going to happen until the moment it happened.
Yeah.
We'll get into that.
We're going to tell the whole story of the behind the story of interviewing Elon Musk.
But other than that, how have your weeks been?
How's it going?
I don't even remember.
I'm in a blur right now.
The Musk thing was like, we had a weekend in Anaheim playing.
Yeah, what else can you talk about?
So we ended up like, we were in Anaheim and Disneyland trying to buy Disneyland trying to buy tickets to go to Austin.
It takes a lot to get you to not do Disneyland.
It does.
So for you to.
Did it cut into your Disneyland or Dean?
No, it actually worked out perfectly because we interviewed him on Sunday.
So if we had interviewed him Saturday, we'd have to cut the – So you don't go to Disneyland on the Sabbath?
That's correct.
But you do go interview Elon Musk.
Yeah, that's correct.
Which he kind of grilled us for.
He did grill us pretty hard for that.
I was like, why are you guys here on a Sunday?
Which is kind of wonderful.
We'll talk about that more.
I can't remember what else happened this weekend.
I'm going to be honest here.
Yeah, it's a blur.
How about you?
You guys should have been like, well, the Bible says it's okay to compromise your beliefs if you can meet with somebody famous.
Yeah.
He's the closest thing to God in the world right now.
Do we have the heresy jar handy?
I mean, like, on a human level, if anybody's trying to reach, he's still, like, a gazillion miles away.
I'm just saying, like, if there's a pile.
Do you have an on-screen heresy counter that, like, shows the dollar amount ticking up that he has to put on the heresy jar as we go?
Or Satan.
He could be closer to Satan than anybody.
I don't know.
Yeah, but I think there is a dollar amount where it's okay to violate the Sabbath.
You think so?
That the person is worth.
You know, like he's worth $250 billion.
I think that's over the threshold.
Do I have to do that heresy jar not to?
Get someone on here.
We need a theologian to tell us about how Jesus is the Sabbath now.
It's not law now.
So we're good.
Come on, theologians.
Like NT Wright on here or something.
Wait, the Catholic and the Reformed person agreed.
Wow.
We must be wrong.
Let's move on to subscriber dare.
You know what the worst thing in the world is?
It's when you're laughing at something and really enjoying it and you're not paying any money for it.
That sucks.
You feel really guilty.
You're like, man, there's all these people that are giving their lives to making this stuff.
And, you know, that's their whole job.
And I didn't even give them any money for it.
Now you can give us money.
You can become a Babylon Bee subscriber and ease that guilty conscience.
Go to BabylonB.com slash plans.
And for a limited time, you can insert the promo code podcast.
And you get 10% off.
It's not 7%.
It's not 8%.
It's not 9%.
It's not 11%.
It's not 12%.
It is 10% off your subscription.
So go to BabylonB.com slash plants and subscribe.
That's what enables us to continue making all the amazing content that you enjoy 24-7 right into your brain.
This is subscriber day.
We got a subscriber dare from Joseph Reber.
And he said, Hello, Kyle and Ethan.
A while ago, you responded to an email I had asking about marriage advice.
I proposed, and now I'm getting married.
Is that due to us?
We made it happen.
I would love if y'all wanted to come to my wedding.
This is a very serious inquiry.
If you say yes, I'll send you the save the date and evites when they're ready.
Much love.
Think of it as a subscriber dear.
If you come to my wedding, I'll continue to be a subscriber.
But if you don't, I'll still continue to be a subscriber.
So it's kind of a low-risk subscriber dare here.
It's true.
What if we say we intend to make it?
I'll try.
That's like you say that someone's asked you to do something and you're definitely not going to do it.
You go, I'm going to really try.
I'm going to really try to be there.
What should we do, Kelly?
It's like, yeah, sounds good.
Let me know what day it is.
Yeah.
Let me check my calendar.
I'll see what I got going on.
Let me check with my wife.
Yeah.
Yeah, you never know what your wife's got planned.
Yeah, she might have something that day.
I actually am busy that day, Joseph.
He's going to be in Disneyland that night.
We're interviewing Elon Musk that day.
In Disneyland.
You just know what'll happen if you guys say yes to this.
You will get 20,000 more invitations.
I don't think there's that many people on the earth that want us at their wedding.
I'm turning 27 and a half next week and I'm having a party.
I would go to a 27 and a half party, but a wedding.
Been there, done that.
Thanks for the invite, Joseph.
Send us the invite.
And have fun.
You never know.
Have fun getting married.
But no, I'm not coming.
I might be there.
But we love you.
Featured YouTube comment from our Elon Musk interview.
This is by Honed Hero.
And oh, there were a lot of comments.
Oh, there were many.
He says, I love that Elon Musk talks about how hard it was to build up two companies and then Babylon B equivalented that to six satire articles a day.
The struggle is really.
That was the joke.
That is the joke.
So I actually have a heartwarming comment about comments on the video.
There was some girl who worked for BuzzFeed, and she posted like, oh, in, I can't, I got to find the tweet, but she said something like, regrettably, Elon Musk was interviewed by three very dull Kendall Roy's.
And if you've seen the show Succession, Kendall Roy is like, he's sort of like the Don Jr., the rich guy, like dull white guy.
So she's basically saying we're dull white guys.
But I found it fascinating being like, you know, I grew up, my dad was literally homeless.
I grew up in like a rich white kid.
I took it.
It's just so weird to be called that.
So I retweeted and said, I'm a, so just that it was so weird to be called a Kendall Roy.
And then like I commented, I love the show succession and I don't have a lot of friends that watch it.
Like, I wish we could just talk about succession, even though you don't like me.
So then like she DM'd me and we started talking about succession and we had this like great conversation about like all these stuff.
We love it so much.
And so both finally both like we deleted our comments and we're friends now.
We're succession buddies.
So it's a good, it's a heartwarming Christmas story.
This is the one time in history that responding to a negative comment worked out.
Yeah.
We should make a movie heartwarming Christmas movie about this.
You've got DM.
It's beautiful.
I now have a succession buddy.
My comment about your episode, by the way, I just listened to it and I love it.
Oh, yeah, you watched it.
Yeah.
I did.
The funniest part to me was when Elon Musk is opening up with these really innovative, like interesting ideas about solar power and how if you just cover a small, like a 10,000 square mile section of Arizona and it could power the entire United States.
And you guys are like, yeah, what do you think about cancel culture?
That was our strategy to try to get him to say something controversial.
We just kept poking him, like, say something controversial now.
Come on.
It was usually when he'd get to one of those long things, I did not know where to go from there.
So he'd be like, oh, how about this?
It is weird because he's talking on such a higher level that we're just like, and you know, sounds pretty cool.
Yeah, and you know what I mean?
Yeah, I can't disagree with him.
No, that's wrong.
You know, I just have nothing to add to that.
Yeah, rockets are crazy.
Have you ever seen WALL-E?
I like rockets.
Rockets are cool.
So we've got a Babylon B banger of the week.
Banger of the week.
Which isn't very funny to just read because it's a list.
It's a list.
10 Christmas.
Really?
That was a banger?
10 Christmas gift ideas for your liberal child.
What are some of the gifts?
This article was brought to you by the Tuttle Twins.
Oh, hey, Tuttle Twins, free advertising.
Yeah.
Double advertising.
Double advertising.
Like, for instance, they get a brand new gender.
A battery-powered police car to flip over and set on fire.
I like how this just takes the stupidest conservative positions.
A crowbar and a ride to Nordstrom.
The vaccini Omo doll.
A little cross-promotion.
Watch that video.
We got a video, which is for children.
And a whooping.
And a whooping.
They need a whooping.
I think Frank pitched that.
I'm pretty sure Frank Fleming pitched that one.
Sounds very Frank.
Funny.
That article got a billion views.
I mean, that's great.
We got a dud of the week.
Nobody liked this article.
Bomb of the week.
Movie character who just coughed, clearly about to be diagnosed with a terminal disease.
That's true.
Humorous little observation.
The character in a movie coughs.
Because they never cough just because people normally, you know, people cough once in a while.
Yeah.
They always added that.
He's like, don't.
Yeah.
Eventually, there's going to be blood on a whole napkin.
Yeah, it's funny.
It never happens where that scene happens and then they just never follow up.
They coughed up a little blood.
It took vitamin C.
Yeah.
I bit my tongue.
It's nothing.
All right.
Let's do some weekly news.
Hey, we're going to need Adam Jenser.
It's time for the weekly news with Adam Jenser.
Thanks, dudes.
Due to the Omicron variant outbreak, Joe Biden warned that the unvaccinated are in for a winter of severe illness and death.
And science warned that they're in for two days of a mild sore throat.
Elizabeth Warren and Corey Booker both tested positive for COVID this week.
Neither of them are experiencing severe symptoms because Corey Booker is vaccinated and Elizabeth Warren had the chief treat her with birch bark and sumac berries.
You got a polite smile out of Kellen.
Really?
I got some last seats.
Patrick is the best audience.
Yeah, he is.
There's laughter in the background.
It's like, has the time come to end the Native American jokes?
See, I don't mind them as long as it's a new angle on them.
Yeah, I like them every time.
I'm not going to lie.
I always like them.
You never get tired of them.
You're clearly tired of them.
I was just doing some shows in Cleveland, and they're changing to the next season from Indians to the Guardians.
But it's hilarious to me because they kept the same font, and Guardian still has four of the same letters from Indians.
And they're sponsored.
It's literally progressive field.
All right.
Procter Gamble has recalled several varieties of herbal essences shampoo because it contains chemicals that cause cancer.
It turns out that lady moaning in the shower was moaning in agony.
Cancer seeping into her skull.
Her organs were aching.
I love that legally.
I mean, they're like, we called it herbal essences.
It's mostly gasoline.
There's some herbs, but it's mostly toxic chemicals.
Gasoline is an essence.
Everything's herbal when you get down to it.
For the second year in a row, London's Conaught Bar was named the best bar in the world.
It's the perfect place to go and get so drunk even British people look attractive.
I can't get on board with this because I'm 100% British.
I thought you were in 100% Utah.
Aren't you?
Isn't that where Mormons are?
Count British.
I know, yeah.
Man.
Utanians.
Yeah, here's an animal story for Ethan.
After a dog killed a baby monkey in India, a pack of monkeys seeking revenge killed all 250 puppies in the town by hurling them off of buildings.
See, during India's monsoon season, it rains cats and dogs, but right now it's just raining dogs.
One panicked owner yelled to his dog, where's that monkey taking you?
To which the dog replied, roof, roof, roof.
And in a tragic mix-up, the monkeys also killed a furry.
I heard those monkeys were dog-tired after that.
Oh, man.
I want to go to the zone where there's just dogs on all the roofs.
That's what I don't understand.
Yeah, did they have to get them up the roof and then throw them?
So, yeah, I guess what's happening is like, a dog killed a baby monkey.
Okay.
And then this like rampaging group of monkeys came back to town and they're trying to kill all the dogs.
Some of them they threw off the roofs, but some of them they're carrying up to the roof and they're just like letting them there until they starve to death.
What?
They just hold them hostage?
They're just, I don't, see, that's the part I don't understand.
It says some of the dogs were left on the roofs and just died of starvation.
I'm not sure why like a person didn't go get them.
You still want to see how it plays out.
I think the Indian men are too busy hitting on white girls on Instagram.
Because you said they killed 250 dogs.
Send bobs.
Send show bombs.
When I first heard the story, I thought it was a 250 dogs.
Like I thought they were throwing full-on labs off the roofs.
No, it says puppies, so to speak.
They're robbing puppies and dogs.
Okay.
So like you got groups.
They're not discriminating.
How awkward is that?
Are they weirder dogs?
You hit a button for the elevator walk inside and there's just a bunch of monkeys in there holding they're like a floor third floor.
I also didn't know like monkeys like seek revenge.
It's weird because it's like it's like brutal, but it also shows this like advanced level of thinking.
But how do they know it's how do they know the motive?
How do they know that it's revenge?
I don't know.
They interview the monkey.
That's true.
Maybe they were, maybe they don't know about it.
And they were just like, hey, let's go start killing dogs.
Just throwing them.
You want to do some dog throwing?
Yeah.
Isn't this like the genesis of Planet of the Apes?
Yeah.
That's how it starts.
Started with dogs and they're like, hold on.
Who's their best friend, though?
I'm kind of tired after 250 dogs.
Yeah.
Should move up.
Sadly, there's only like 9 billion stray dogs left in India now.
A 6.2 magnitude earthquake struck Northern California on Monday, causing minor damage to several buildings and toppling several piles of sidewalk poop.
I can't get through it without one San Francisco poop joke.
But San Francisco is not even really Northern California.
Was this near San Francisco?
Is that close enough to North California?
Actually, isn't that North?
I feel like anything about France.
It's North, but I think it's not.
It's right in the middle.
Anything about Fresno.
It's like in the middle of California.
What do you consider Northern California?
Oregon?
Yes.
Isn't it funny, though, how if you've lived in California for a while, earthquake, there's just no fear.
I don't know.
I've toured all over the country, and I used to have a joke where I would ask people, why wouldn't you move to California?
And the number one answer is earthquakes above everything else.
And it's so bizarre because after you've been here, it's like we're on the opposite end of that fear spectrum.
Because, like, if I wake up seven in the morning, someone texts me, like, hey, did you feel that?
I'm like, disappointed.
No, I missed it.
I didn't feel it.
Yeah.
A woman claims that she was virtually groped while beta testing Facebook's new virtual reality meta world.
Man, who would have thought a website that started to rate college girls' hotness would end up like this?
How far it's fallen.
The suspect in the virtual groping has been ordered to stay 50 megapixels apart.
Doesn't make sense.
I don't know if I put up that one.
I feel like there's a lot of things that, you know, the metaverse wants to try to be as good as real life.
You know, but it's not going to really pull it off.
But I feel like this is one thing that would be better in the metaverse to be groped.
Because, you know, it's not as bad.
You're looking forward to that.
You've been waiting for it.
I'm saying Zuckerberg probably is like, hey, at least this is better in my metaverse.
Progress.
It's not as, you know.
What you said, though, just sounds like what the guy said who did it.
Yeah.
It's not as bad.
Like, oh, this is awesome.
I mean, he probably wishes it was real.
I mean, I don't know.
He probably is glad that it's not real.
Yeah.
Luckily.
Not saying anybody should do it.
It's probably pretty certain this is the only time this will ever happen.
Oh, sure.
Yeah.
It's a one-time.
I like that it was immediately like, release the metaverse and like immediately.
It's like zero days without an incident.
The first guy just ran into the metaverse like that.
I liked Seth, our CEO Seth's tweet about this.
What he said.
Well, I got teabagged in Halo.
That's true.
That's the first thing people do in Florida's games.
You just explained that in the homeschool.
I don't know if you should.
No, no.
Don't Google it.
I get in trouble for saying stuff and then Kyle.
You would have deleted that if you had to.
It's true.
My kids were talking about teabagging in like Fortnite.
Uh-huh.
And they didn't know the logistics or mechanics of why it was called teabagging.
They said, oh, yeah, it's just where you like, you bounce after you kill someone.
Yes.
No.
I have a friend of mine.
Her mom is this really sweet lady, a baker, a bagel baker.
And she heard the kids using the word the shiznet.
I don't know if we can say this.
But she goes, what's that word, the shiznet, you guys keep saying?
And so my friend's like, you know, it means it's cool.
It's nice.
It's fun.
Mom, you know.
And this later she heard her mom, she's like this lady who wears an apron all day, sweetest woman ever.
And she's like, oh, it's just the shiznet.
He's getting casual conversations.
Bill Nye issued a dire warning about a doomsday glacier in Antarctica that is the size of Florida and could collapse into the ocean in the next five years.
But luckily, according to Joe Biden, we're all going to die this winter and won't have to worry about it.
Positive.
An Amazon driver in Las Vegas stopped to save a small family dog that was being attacked by a stray pit bull.
Sadly, a monkey then showed up and killed both dogs.
What's that referencing?
Is that something I didn't know about?
Throw them both off the top of a roof.
Sorry, I have a quick tag for the Bill Nye thing.
Yeah.
I just thought of.
Isn't it interesting, though, that everyone from Isn't it interesting, though, that most people from both ends of the political spectrum would be totally okay if that glacier landed directly on top of Florida.
Yeah, is it shaped like Florida?
It's like an exact exact shape.
It's like when your car frees over and there's like a shell of your car.
A body positivity group has created don't weigh me cards for patients who do not want to be weighed unnecessarily by their doctor before medical appointments.
They also created something called a medical fudge card.
You just get to eat fudge?
Prescribe your doctor for sure you want to do that.
I have a doctor.
She shows up at Bass Pro Shop and you're like, I have a doctor's note.
I get all the fudge I want.
I just see Jet Bass Pro shops.
Yeah, they have that fudge there.
Yeah.
Like a whole fudge area.
It's so bizarre to me because a doctor, like, it makes it just that much worse for the doctor after this because now they don't have like statistics to rely on.
So they just have to be like, you're looking.
Well, yeah, and isn't it worse if they have to eyeball him and be like, hmm.
It was like a 3, 350.
Yeah.
Yes, the weight.
And your checkup is free.
You see a huge person sitting there and they're like, well, I haven't been able to figure out what's wrong with your heart.
I checked your eyes.
I checked your ears.
I didn't.
I don't know what's wrong.
You just like overshoot it.
You're like, I'm guessing.
Okay, I'll just guess like 400 pounds.
Yeah, I'm 296.
Got him.
Gotcha.
Comedian Jeff Garland was fired from the Jeff Garland, was fired from the Goldbergs after complaints of inappropriate onset behavior.
As punishment, he will now be forced to appear on Bob Hart's Abishola.
What's that?
It's a show that nobody watches.
Okay.
Jeff Garland from Kirby Enthusiasm?
Yeah.
Was inappropriate.
Wasn't there even a Kirb storyline about him being mistaken for Harvey Weinstein?
Oh, like there was.
Yeah, there was.
He literally did look.
He's the fan.
Yeah, he's Larry David's.
I don't want to say it.
I can't say it, but he can't say it.
He has a fudge card.
I can't say what it is.
December 21st was the winter solstice, the shortest day of the year.
Although if you watched Biden's Omicron speech, it felt much, much longer.
I missed the speech.
I never wired anything.
I just wait for people to tweet about it.
But it was like Game of Thrones or something.
During a JetBlue flight from Los Angeles to Fort Lauderdale, Dennis Rodman refused to wear a mask.
You know, masks are stupid when someone will eagerly wear this, this, and this, but not this.
I'm going to assume those are a visual joke, yeah.
A drug suspect in Florida denied owning bags of meth and cocaine that were found wrapped around his penis.
He claims he was just holding them for a really, really, really close friend.
How much can you.
How do you feel about that one, Kyle?
That's fine.
All right.
I just wanted to, like, how do you find this guy?
Like, you're like much.
I imagine like the, you know, you're in the gym locker room and a guy comes up to you and is like, you know what, you would be great for.
Are you worried about that?
How did those get there?
How many bags do you think you could fit around?
I'm just trying to figure out.
Yeah, is this like a string?
It's a good four-bagger.
like hanging like a punching bag or is this like Kyle's worse than I am in this episode you're done Your doctor can't weigh you, but he can describe how many baggers you are.
Oh, goodness.
On Saturday, Pete Davidson and Kim Kardashian were spotted on a date at a Staten Island movie theater.
Pete Davidson even made sure they had the whole theater to themselves by playing a Pete Davidson movie.
Violence.
I don't need any appeal.
I don't get the appeal.
I don't understand.
I don't hate.
I have no Kardashians, too.
I have no passionate hate for him at all.
I just get it.
Finally, Donald Trump was booed by his supporters after telling an audience in Dallas that he got the COVID booster shot.
Man, presidents just don't have much luck visiting Dallas.
Oof.
That was a JFK.
Yeah.
Oh.
I thought the assassination.
To see more, check out the canceled news on my YouTube page and come see me live on New Year's Eve at Slapsticks in Uniontown, Pennsylvania.
I feel like you should do a slide whistle after you're at the end of that.
Whoop.
Yes.
Juggle something maybe.
I don't know.
Some rubber chickens.
Yeah.
Get out your clown hammer.
Yeah.
Bye.
There should be a coffee table book, just a bad comedy club name.
So many.
Yeah, one of my hometown clubs was Rooster T Feathers.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, thank you.
Thank you, Ben Minzer.
You may leave.
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So we had a weekend.
So on Thursday, so Patrick, you know, he's been just, he's been reaching out to everybody that possibly we could, you know, possibly get on the podcast.
And he's like, oh, hey.
Small-time authors.
Yeah, anybody.
Christian musicians.
All the way up to like, why not?
He's like, should I ask Joe Rogan?
Oh, sure, yeah.
Why not?
What are the chances?
But sure, why not?
And then he's like, so he did, I don't think he even asked, checked with anybody.
He just went ahead and DM'd Elon Musk on Twitter because we noticed his, we can now DM him.
So it was the first DM we ever sent.
It was kind of his form email, like, would you like to be in your podcast someday?
We live in California.
He immediately starts replying, making fun of us for living in California.
And then we'll say, well, we'll leave California.
Come talk to me if you want.
And he said, all right, this weekend in Austin.
This was Thursday afternoon.
In a very casual way, like he's not like, please get with my people.
Yeah.
And have your people.
There's no assistant involved.
And he was just like, yeah, just let me know what time when to show up.
Yeah.
So then we acted like that was normal and we're just like, okay, yeah, here this studio this time.
And he said, okay, oh no.
And then he's on Sunday.
So he said Sunday.
Oh, you're not going to be in church, you heathens?
Yeah.
Which was a reference to a M1B article that we post every Sunday.
Go to church, you heathen.
Yeah.
And so banking on that he meant that, we actually all flew to Austin.
Yeah, it's like the last thing he had sent us was that with like a laughy emoji.
We're like, wait, is this a joke?
So then it seemed really, but you don't want to be needy.
And you are serious, right?
Yeah.
So we just took off.
We booked, we found a studio.
We got a couple.
We got Brandon and Patrick, me and Kyle, Seth, and we just booked it out to Austin and got set up.
And we still, it was like a full 24-hour period where we had no idea if this was real.
Actually, more than 24 hours.
Because the last thing we got was that laugh emoji from Elon Musk.
No assistant confirming, no calendar, date thing, you know?
It would have been great if he showed up and he was like, guys, I was kidding.
I know.
I was fully.
We know.
Yeah, it was a joke, bro.
You thought we thought it was real?
No.
We didn't believe it until he walked in the door.
Yeah, like I was, my mind was 90% chance this is totally not going to happen.
Or he's going to cancel or we're going to do it.
And then he's going to be like, he's going to cancel it.
Because we've had both happen with a bigger name.
Yeah, we're going to cancel it or whatever.
Sorry about that.
Yeah, that's Kellen.
So anyway, about like an hour.
I mean, I think Seth, sometime during Sunday, middle of the day, he did get a message from like an assistant or something saying, so what's this interview Elon's doing today?
She sounded like she's catching up.
She's asking you guys.
Yeah, what is this?
Who are you guys?
We had Michael Malice there.
Michael Malice came because I was so sure that this was going to happen.
And Michael Malice lives in Austin.
We're renting a studio.
We're going to be out there.
Michael Malice interviews always do well.
And he would, he'd, I originally asked him like, hey, we're coming to Austin to talk to Elon.
Musk, we don't even know.
Do you know about the studio or anything?
He's like, No, but I want to meet him.
So then I'm like, All right, Michael, you can come.
You could be like the understudy.
Like, if Musk doesn't show, at least we got you, and we'll just do an interview.
So he's there.
We're talking.
So, anyway, he came.
He showed up.
Yeah.
Did he show up like riding in the back?
I didn't see what he came.
They said he showed up in a Tesla.
Yeah, that's on Brandon.
And on Burry on Brent.
He shows up in a certain way.
He drags himself.
He's like diesel machines.
Is it a hub?
I don't believe in any of that electric car crap.
Just throws a soda can to the curb.
Where are we doing this?
He walked in.
It was a white claw can.
He walked in drinking a white claw.
Mars sucks.
Oh, I better take this off.
Very off brand.
Tunnels are dumb.
I would have gotten here faster, but I didn't want to take the tunnel.
I hate tunnels.
You have to use PayPal for those things.
It sucks.
Yeah, so he came in and I mean, he quickly interrupted.
I mean, no, I think he, you can see us introducing ourselves to him on the podcast.
Well, the moment the podcast starts is the moment he walked and sat down like one second beforehand because we thought we were going to like lay the ground rules.
Oh, here's what we're thinking about.
We get the notes, you know, and he's just like, what are we doing?
You guys are Babylon Bee.
What he says on the podcast is about almost the first thing he said to us.
He just goes, before we start, have the Babylon Bee start.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So he just came right in and he comes right in.
And so when you see us introducing ourselves, I'm Ethan, that's Kyle or whatever.
That's like us meeting him.
And like, it just, and we just realized, oh, this is the interview.
It's happening.
Luckily, the cameras were rolling.
And smart, good job, camera guys.
Yeah.
And it just went from there.
And I think I realized pretty early on that, number one, when you try to make a joke, he doesn't laugh at all.
You notice on there, like, you know, Seth will, Seth tried to make a joke about Mars or something.
He immediately grabs onto what you're actually saying and he goes, he goes into like for another 10, 15 years.
He takes things very logically.
Yes, he's very logical.
And so that just like killed everything I was going to say.
So then I was really trying to strategize on what I could say.
So I literally didn't say anything for like a half hour.
Plus, I think Seth had all these questions ready to go.
Seth dominated for the first part of the interview.
And then eventually, you know, it did start to flow really well.
I thought it got to a good flow.
We started.
I had fun asking him stupid.
Yeah, by the time we get to the end, there were some really cool parts in there.
So, yeah.
And he seemed willing to go on.
Like, he gave no indication he wanted to stop.
We were just like, well, it's, I had no idea.
Like, my sense of time was out.
Like, I had no idea.
It had been almost two hours.
I'm thinking, okay, we better land this plane.
Yeah.
And yeah, I don't know how long he was willing to go.
He seemed down to just talk forever.
Yeah.
And then the real work began because Brandon and Patrick had to stay up for about 700 hours to get it done.
You guys should have pushed the envelope from what happened on Rogan with Musk and be like, hey, you want to do some cocaine?
I wanted to have him hold a Bible up or something.
I don't know.
Read a Bible.
You want to do some Bible?
Undo some Bible.
Do some G.O.D. get some pretty good stuff.
You want to smoke some weed and read Revelation?
You know, it's really cool.
So, yeah, what else is there?
I mean, I feel like there's so all night long.
So Patrick and Brandon are sitting out.
There's like a weird, like this Airbnb had a little Airstream trailer in the yard that was part of the rental.
So Patrick stayed in this little Airstream and we sat out in front in the cold, cold night smoking cigars and they were editing away, just like trying to ed this thing.
And it was a crazy project.
There's like six different audio files, four massive video files that needed to be edited together.
The switching hadn't been done.
And their laptops can barely handle this stuff.
It was crazy.
They worked all night.
Around 3 a.m., I went and got everybody to drive through, came back.
I passed out around probably close to five in the morning.
I got up, and Patrick was still working.
He's like, I got one hour's sleep.
Brandon, I got three or four hours of sleep.
And they were working until I think we got the trailer out in the airport just before they got on the plane.
And as soon as I got home, they were still cranking away.
And literally, as soon as that file got up on the internet, it was as soon as it was done.
Like they were working and working until that point.
The minute of it was the minute of.
We were in here pacing around, like, is it done yet?
It's exporting.
We were just watching the export, just saying, it was wild.
Like, we're exporting it on a Pentium 3 processor.
One of the morals, we learned a lot.
There are many morals.
One was get Patrick a really good laptop.
You guys think that weekend was crazy?
Saturday, my Christmas tree fell over.
Oh, cow.
Did it though?
Those are funny stories.
So, anyway, thank you, Elon, for coming on.
And if you guys haven't watched that interview yet, check it out.
It's on our YouTube channel.
And we released the full thing.
Get the full interview for free for everybody.
Full subscriber, everything is free.
So check that out.
It's a lot of fun.
Let's do some Christmas books.
Yeah, so it's Christmas.
I think it's Christmas Eve today if you're watching this.
And I say, bring us some figgy pudding.
Bring it right here.
Bring us some figgy pudding.
Bring it right in.
Bring us some figgy pudding.
No, you don't want to get on this.
This is some weird non-Mormon chant.
What are it?
Some weird Mormon chants.
Or just the standard ones.
Maybe not even the weird ones.
So, yeah, two things.
We're going to.
So Callan has a book podcast.
The book pile.
The book pile.
New book every Monday.
It's a comedy podcast, but we talk about books that we love.
Yeah.
Books and jokes.
Great.
And so we're going to talk about the best and worst Christmas books.
But also, we wanted to get to the bottom of this.
What the heck is figgy pudding?
Why do the carolers demand it with such passionate intensity?
Like, there's two full verses in that song.
They're not just saying, bring us some figgy pudding.
Then they say, we won't leave till we got some.
It's so weird.
We have an article about this, right?
Torches, pitchforks.
You remember the article?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's anti-cuttle.
Our article was like woman frantically makes figgy pudding to get carolers to leave.
She's like stirring in a stove.
I always assumed it was like some kind of fruity fig pudding, but it's apparently like a meaty thing.
Oh, that's disgusting.
So we're going to find out right now.
Bettina has done Bettina is bringing us figgy pudding.
Okay, bring us some figgy pudding.
Bring us some figgy pudding.
Bring us some figgy pudding.
We won't leave till we got some.
Is that how you guys sing?
We wish you a merry Christmas.
We're just terrifying the neighborhood.
Happy news.
It turns into kind of it's like one of those heavy metal Christmas carol albums.
Yes.
There's some good ones.
Ronnie James Dio has a good cover of God Rest You Merry Gentleman.
So check that out.
I like the bad religion Christmas elements.
Pretty.
Have you guys had carolers come to your house?
Not recently.
The awkward thing for me is like I don't know where to look.
Yeah.
I hate staring at someone while they sing.
Yeah, because then they're awkward.
They're looking in at us and I'm just sort of like looking back inside my house.
Well, how close do they stand?
Are they right up at the door?
They're right in the door.
Close crowded in your doorway.
I hate when a couple of random strangers come and knock on my door.
That's the worst.
I don't get it.
No, I always assumed they were like out in the street and just kind of singing, and people kind of poke their heads out the door.
No, there's no, they like come like knock on your doors.
Yeah, I guess there's close carriage.
It's like a Seinfeld episode.
The close carrier heads are right where the door stops.
Bring us some figgy pudding.
Bring us some figgy pudding.
She's frantically, she's doing she's doing the B article.
She's frantically making figgy pudding.
Bring it right here.
I like how they're supposed to be.
I'm going to finally want it set.
I'm going to look up the lyrics.
We should talk about my podcast while she's making this.
Oh, yeah.
You talk about books.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Our best episodes so far, I think, are we did Atomic Habits a couple months ago, and we've roasted two of the Twilight books.
Oh, wow.
That's fantastic.
Yeah.
But we've actually.
She's fish in a barrel.
We made fun of Twilight.
Well, jokes were heard.
I'm sure they were good.
But we've roasted other books too that you wouldn't think like How to Win Friends and Influence People, which is essentially just a book on how to pretend to be nice so people do things for you.
Yeah, exactly.
That's a fantastic description of that book.
We've also recently done Dune and we've done Lord of the Rings, the first two books.
Lord of the Rings.
You just flamed them.
If you don't, it's like this fantasy book series.
You totally burn Lord of the Rings.
There are a couple things.
So one of the things is the fact that JR told, he writes it in real time.
So every day, every night you find out where they're sleeping.
It's like 24.
Where they get to eat food.
24 fantasy version.
They should release, yeah, 24.
Have a little clock ticking between commercial breaks.
Okay.
It looks okay so far.
So this is figgy pudding.
It's a mound of what's in this.
Do you know what's in that?
It's a lot of fruit.
It's a lot of fruit and meat.
Or meat fat.
Meat fat.
There's no actual meat in it.
But it's meat fat.
Okay, we're ready.
Do we have this on camera?
Do we have COVID sites?
Whoa.
Wait, I have a better one.
Is the Fire Marshal here?
Do we need?
Dude, I'm looking at the lyrics to this.
Bring us some figgy pudding.
Bring it right here.
We won't go until we get some, so bring it right here.
And then there's another version.
Oh, we all like our figgy pudding.
We all like our figgy push push.
That it becomes passive-aggressive.
I sure would love some figgy pudding.
I have a torch light.
I sure would like some figgy pudding right now.
Sure would like some figgygy pudding.
You know, it would hit the spot, right?
Whoa, is this going to explode toward me?
Possibly.
You're shaking.
I am shaking.
There we go.
Whoa, cool.
Did that crystallize it or caramelize it or something?
I don't know.
It's supposed to flow baits.
Are you pouring herbal essences on it?
Can the camera even see that?
Oh, yeah.
That's wild.
Does it go out?
Eventually.
Is that the idea?
Or do you got to blow it?
The heat depth of the universe.
You're going to be sanitary.
You're going to blow it.
That's like a birthday cake.
So gross.
Okay.
Well, there's fire here.
So, what did you just pour on that?
Are we supposed to eat it in their faces?
Oh, wait, you can't have it now, huh?
Well, if it's all burned away.
Oh, it's burnt, yeah.
All the alcohol, right?
I think it's like cooking.
Does that count?
It kind of counts.
Although, that would be the most hilarious DUI story of all time.
I ate figgy pudding.
He's like, I ate figgy pudding, but I had dumped hot chocolate.
I just ate some figgy pudding.
I shouldn't have asked for it so much.
Wait, so how do you eat it now?
You have to all have a fork.
There you go.
Oh, I can cut it.
Okay.
You can cut it.
Don't put it.
All right, guys.
Like a pie?
Oh.
Like a cake?
I can tell you right now, I'm probably going to have one bite, so I don't need a boring piece.
It kind of in the realm of fruitcake.
I would say it's in that realm.
Two nights.
It's probably a more civilized way of serving this.
I think I do prefer this to the surprise cupcakes that we had.
Surprise cupcakes.
What was in those?
It was a surprise.
Toothpaste.
Oh, no.
Maybe there wasn't toothpaste.
It looked like toothpaste.
Figgy pudding, it certainly has a lot of raisins.
So, do we want to start looking at worst Christmas books here?
Is this dangerous?
Yeah, we got to dig.
Let's have our first bites.
Are these all the worst?
I'm afraid that once I eat this, I'll become drunk with desire for it, and I'll become a very disrespectful person demanding it.
It's a dangerous.
We're flirting with something here.
I'm going to have you try it first.
I mean, it's not.
It's a thing, but it's.
It tastes like fruitcake.
Yeah.
A thing.
Put it with the brandy butter.
Oh, you have to have brandy butter?
Yes.
It's a brandy butter.
Hello.
I probably can't have that unless you light it on fire.
Light it up.
Oh, yeah.
My religion, I can't have that either.
So this will make it.
This is where I'll become.
If you'll talk to Elon Musk on a Sunday, you can eat brandy butter.
Okay, so this could be the combination that makes me wildly uncooperative.
Yeah, I mean, it's not terrible.
No.
You wouldn't hold a family hostage over this.
It would not be worth the charges of false imprisonment for this.
We won't go until we got something.
So bizarre.
How great, though.
You sing that whole song.
The people in the house don't respond.
So then just every carol after that, you're like, figgy pudding, figgy pudding, figgy, all the way.
Figgy in my mouth.
So I guess each of us can pick our a good Christmas book, and then we'll do some of the worst ones.
Yeah, even though, I mean, there's not that many.
I mean, Christmas.
I can think of one.
Bookpile Man.
The Bible.
Oh, nailed it.
Oh, wait, you have another one?
Of course I have another one.
You guys have a lot of extra books.
It's not technically a Christmas book, but my favorite passage, which we may read some of.
It's a long passage, so I'm trying to figure out how we're going to.
We can't really read the whole thing, but Everlasting Man by G.K. Chesterton.
I'm sorry.
I know.
G.K. Chesterton.
If you read the whole, so the whole first part of the book, he's writing this whole buildup of like basically about fallen earth and kind of the way that the time of mythology and all the things that mankind went through looking for God, seeking the truth, seeking meaning.
And then in the second part of the book, he talks about when Christ came.
And that first part of part two of that book is just beautiful writing about Christmas, about the day that the Christ child came to earth.
And it's just like, I mean, I don't know if I can even find one quote to give you a taste, but it's beautiful.
Yeah, I'm not going to try to do that right off the hands that had made the sun and stars were too small to reach the huge heads of the cattle.
Yeah, this idea that the power of the whole universe had been turned inside out.
I mean that all the eyes of wonder and worship, which had been turned outwards to the large things, were now turned inward to the smallest.
The very image will suggest all the multitudinous marvel of converging eyes that makes us so much a colored Catholic imagery like a peacock's tail.
He goes on.
This is beautiful.
And so that's, I mean, that's like a passage that I we read it in our group recently.
And when we read it, I got to read this every year.
Just powerful, really good.
It's okay.
I'm just in there for that one.
He doesn't even know.
So for me, it's probably Nothing Lasts Forever, which is the actual novel.
That's the diehard book.
Yeah.
That Die Hard was based off of.
So you've read.
I have never finished it.
I haven't.
No, I actually haven't tried it yet.
I just threw that in there because people have the dumb conversation about argument about whether or not Die Hard is at Christmas.
We have a great cartoon about that.
Overlay, please.
I just frantically Googled Christmas books.
I mean, it's really the books.
I think the Dickens ones.
That's the only thing I can think of.
I can see Dickens.
Obviously, the Christmas Carol, and they're saying that the cricket in the hearth or something like that.
It's like a cricket one or something.
I don't know.
I already gave a book, so I'm in the clear.
Yeah.
You know, the novelization of the Muppet Christmas Carol movie.
Okay.
Cool.
They novelized that.
I guess the Grinch is a go-to for the Grinch is pretty good.
Someone's very passionate about those Grinch.
I've never heard of anyone being that excited about the Grinch.
Yeah.
Doctor's news.
Polar Express.
The book is good.
The movie is so disturbing.
Yeah, it looks like walking cadavers.
We can make people look real.
You can't really move from it, but they look real if you pause it.
All right.
How about?
Oh, do you have any other ones?
How about the worst Christmas books?
Worst Christmas books.
You guys look some up.
These Adam looks them up for us.
Yeah.
So, first of all, we have a bodyguard for Christmas.
I hope.
Oh, it's a romantic novel.
That's a romance novel.
I hope this book starts with.
It has one rating.
It's like the opening line is: a bodyguard was trudging through the snow.
He looked and sounded just like Kevin Costner.
Well, the description is a whole excerpt here.
Hailing from royalty, Jordan was a spy trying to fulfill his father's dying request.
Yet protecting Regina entailed more than the prevention of nuclear winter.
There's an excerpt here.
Let me see.
Timothy Severs was wired, cocaine wired.
The shock sent his heart into overdrive, pumping blood until it sizzled and snapped in his veins.
A high-pitched hum set his teeth grinding, his muscles twitching.
A split second later, euphoria hit, and with it, the rush of confidence, the heightened senses, the understanding he could live forever.
Ironic, really, considering his plans for the day.
Sounds like he just ate a bunch of brandy butter.
He demanded the figgy pudding, and he demanded it now.
Is there a steamy part?
I assume it's got some real steamy parts in here.
Coming on the words you could search for.
Yeah.
The one review.
We'll put the steamy part in the subscriber portion.
This lady, there's one review.
It's from Terry Lynn, and she said five stars.
Hot Christmas read with on-edge suspense.
I just don't want Christmas associated with like sexuality.
Yeah.
I read this every Christmas when we celebrate the incarnation.
She's like, Legacy's in gross man.
He looked into her eyes and said, I won't go until I got some.
Sorry.
All right, here's another one: A NASCAR Holiday 3 in anthology.
Why is there three of these?
This is the third one.
And it has multiple stories in here.
So it's like chicken soup for the soul of NASCAR.
Well, in its defense, it's more like the Matrix.
The first two are actually decent, but you get to the third now.
Scar holiday, and it goes off the rails.
Most people agree this one doesn't live up to the others here.
It has another romance.
It sounds like it.
It's got have a beachy little Christmas, winning the race, all they want for Christmas in a family for Christmas.
It had better have a moment where the like the Formula One car pulls up and they're switching out the tires.
And then like the guy and the girl, they both reach for the same wheel at the same time.
Their hands touch.
Yeah.
I wonder if this is officially licensed by NASCAR.
I mean, the logo is on it.
Oh, weird.
But I don't know.
And I really like the illustration of the stocking that has the checkered flag as the top furry part of the stocking.
Well, that's just wonderful.
Yeah.
What else we got here?
We got Scared of Santa, Scenes of Terror in Toyland.
That sounds amazing.
Oh, that cover's great.
That's like a actual pictures of kids getting scared by Santa Claus.
Oh, that's what it is.
Oh, that's probably pretty good then.
Yeah, I read that.
I would totally flip through this book.
He's huge and hairy and hulking.
He dresses in strange furry clothes.
He sneaks into people's homes at night.
Who wouldn't be afraid of Santa Claus?
I can't tell if that's a comedy or a romance novel.
There's sample pages.
Oh, there's just the cover.
Yeah, it says it has a cornucopia of photographic funnies.
Yeah, it's just children sitting on Santa's lap going.
And it says it has some real howlers.
Real howlers.
That's how you know a book is really going to be funny.
Hey, four stars.
Four stars.
Okay, well, that was maybe one star.
I have a new favorite Christmas book.
Oh, here we go.
Here's a one-star review from Santa Mike.
Disgusting.
This book is child pornography.
I worked one season as a mall Santa and will never do it again.
I thought a trip to see Santa should always be fun.
However, I found that 5-10% of the business was taking pictures with children who were afraid of me.
I was absolutely disgusted by the cruel, thoughtless parents who would inflict emotional distress on a child and buy a picture for a souvenir.
Wow, he goes on, too.
The scum who published this book and the unfit parents who submitted the pictures need lumps of coal in one of Santa's boots for Christmas.
He's still in carrying.
You know what I'm going to tell the elves this year.
I like the idea that these children are emotionally scarred for life from the experience.
You give it three stars, you see?
Children cry from literally anything.
How about this one?
Buff Hitler gets white socks for Christmas.
What's up with all these romance novels?
I think it is.
I believe this one is a romance.
Claudia has been having an illicit affair with a very good-looking young princeling SS officer who was cushy posting in the Fuhrer's bunker as a way to escape bitter fighting on the Eastern Front.
There's only two reviews on this one.
One is one star.
I was insulted by this book.
Trash.
Not interesting history.
It's history.
It's just not interesting.
And then the other one said, five stars, life-changing.
I never knew I needed a Hitler fanfic in my life until I read this book.
Five yellow stars out of five.
Why are the yellow stars?
Is that a bad thing?
As of Jewish stars?
Oh, as a follow-up to the last book, I'm going to make a book, and it's just kids' scared reactions of Buff Hitler wearing only white socks.
They say creativity is when two great ideas come together.
Shack something new.
The shack.
We know the shack.
So is this a Christmas store?
Yeah, does the shack count as a Christmas?
I didn't know that.
I didn't know it was a Christmas story.
Or is this a different shack?
No, this is the shack.
The shack shack.
Not a shack.
Not shack, the basketball player.
He just goes by shack.
He doesn't call himself a shack.
Why not?
He is the shack.
I mean, he's saying, sorry.
So, yeah, this is a popular book.
I mean, you know, I don't know what to say.
I could check out some one-star reviews.
It's probably all about heresy.
I can't get over the shack.
Watch Kazam the movie starring the shack.
One star, perfect book for leftists who don't yet realize that leftism is their religion, not Christianity.
The shack has the movie version of the shack has the most wonderful trailer ever where he goes racing with Jesus on the lake in a foot race.
He's like, come on.
Aren't there all these different embodiments of God or something?
So it's like he meets with the Trinity, and the Holy Spirit is an Asian woman.
One's like a black lady.
I think the father is a black lady, like a portly black woman.
Yeah, yeah.
Like in the Matrix.
She's Oracle.
Yeah.
In the Oracle, basically.
And then Jesus is like a Jewish guy.
So they got one.
Correct.
It's still heresy.
All right.
And then Die Hard Christmas, the illustrated holiday classic.
We have this book here.
We do?
It's somewhere over there.
We could hold it up right now if we had thought ahead to get it.
I wouldn't put this on a worst.
I mean, it's just a fun children's book version of Die Hard, which is a Christmas movie.
It's a Christmas classic.
I don't know if we published Frank's article yet today, but he had an article in the work that was like an op-ed by Hitler saying Die Hard is not a Christmas movie.
I don't know how well that's going to do.
Bomb of the week next week, maybe.
We'll see.
Well, my thing about it, I don't care either way.
It's not going to change how much I watch Die Hard, you know.
But the guy who wrote it, the guy who adapted it, Roderick Thorpe, he just, he said, like, this is a Christmas movie.
So it's like, you want to.
Oh, really?
Roderick Thorpe said that.
It's like.
Well, there's a number of evidence.
Right.
His wife's name?
Noelle.
Holly.
Holly.
Very.
I'm just guessing.
And how does he save his wife at the end?
Christmas tree.
Christmas wrapping on his back.
Christmas wrapping.
Without that, he couldn't do it.
He'd be dead.
And the whole movie takes place at a Christmas party.
My favorite movie, actually, of all time is It's a Wonderful Life, which is a Christmas movie, but like only the last 20 minutes take place during Christmas.
And all of Die Hard takes place during Christmas.
More than that.
And then it's like, is it New Year's at the end of its wonderful life?
It's ticking down to the, or is that Christmas?
The ticking clock.
You ask me the difference between Christmas and New Year's.
No, I'm trying.
Is it New Year's or Christmas in It's Wonderful Life?
No, it's at the end.
Because they're around the tree.
It's Christmas Eve.
And it's like an angel gives its wings.
But they do sing, to your defense, they do sing the New Year's song.
Because they're watching the clock and it hits midnight somewhere.
Is that Christmas midnight or is that New York midnight?
It's gotta be Christmas midnight, right?
Is it?
I can't remember.
Because they're still like wrapping up.
The first time I saw that movie, it was on New Year's Eve.
And the clock just somehow synced up with the movie.
And right when it turned midnight in the movie, it turned midnight where I was watching it.
And all of a sudden, the entire town started to cheer and fireworks went off when it turned midnight in the movie.
It was cool.
That's my story.
He's never boring.
He's never dull.
It's story time with Fifth Stories.
Cool story.
Let's do some hate mail.
Okay, fine.
Speaking of Christmas.
I miss Adam Ford.
Hate mail.
So there's a comment from Too Heavy.
He says, The B is a perfect example.
He didn't want to be weighed.
He didn't want to be weighed.
I'm just too heavy.
The B is a perfect example of everything wrong with the modern American church.
Okay.
Yeah.
Ouch.
We should think about that.
What's wrong with the church?
I am.
That's right.
Something.
Yeah.
Chestertonian.
All right.
We're going to go into the subscriber lounge.
Okay.
And we've got some bonus hate mail, maybe?
I think I do actually.
I doesn't say it on the notes here, but I think I've got some bonus hate mail.
Is this the subscriber portion now?
Yeah, we're going to move into that.
We'll move over there.
We'll move over there.
Okay.
We'll just eat figgy pudding into the microphone for like 30 minutes.
Eat figgy pudding forever.
Do we have more questions?
Probably three sets of questions.
No, he probably has.
Yeah.
Is there anything left for him?
Do you want to ask us anything?
Do you want to know more about my podcast?
Yeah.
Yes, all you.
We would love to do podcasts about podcasts.
I want to do yours sometime.
This show is now called the Podcast Pile.
We're filming Lord of the Rings right after this.
I mean, join us.
All right.
Let's go to the subscriber list.
And you have a Merry Christmas.
Yes.
And subscribe to the book pile.
Yeah.
You don't even have to listen to it.
And to subscribe.
Just give me five stars.
I just need the numbers.
Coming up next for Babylon B subscribers.
I got to look that up and how snakes reproduce.
And we submitted his dating profile to Reformed Mingle.
It was a subscriber there.
And they emailed us.
Don't you like the challenge coming to read a joke and have to make the delivery make it work, even though it's terrible?
Try to write amazing.
It would autocorrect a smacking.
This pizza is smacking.
Wondering what they'll say next?
The rest of this podcast is in our super exclusive premium subscriber lounge.
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Kyle and Ethan would like to thank Seth Dylan for paying the bills, Adam Ford for creating their job, the other writers for tirelessly pitching headlines, the subscribers, and you, the listener.