Dustin Nickerson Interview: Former Youth Pastor/Current Stand Up Comic
This is the Babylon Bee Interview Show. In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to comedian Dustin Nickerson who hails from Seattle, but suffers in Southern California. Dustin was married at 19 and 15 years later has 3 kids, so he has plenty of insight on parenting, marriage, and being generally annoyed by people. Dustin has a new special on Amazon called OVERWHELMED. Topics covered are Dustin's start in stand up, new lockdowns, and working as a youth pastor. Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more. To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans Topic Discussed Starting a stand up comedy career Favorite Bee article Political comedy Ethan's connection to Dustin Living in Seattle Chaz Moving to San Diego 2nd round of lockdowns Secrets of a happy marriage Coos Bay Working as a youth pastor Comedy for Christian crowds Bad stand up gigs Laughing at both sides of politics Golfing with Larry the Cable Guy Subscriber Portion Keurig of furniture Roast of the subscriber lounge Bad segways College gigs Facebook trolling Comedy on the internet Mark Driscoll Being too insignificant to get fired Disdain for celebrity Pastors Appreciation of stand-up Brad Garrett stories 10 questions Alter Call
I just have to say that I object strenuously to your use of the word hilarious.
Hard-hitting questions.
What do you think about feminism?
Do you like it?
Taking you to the cutting edge of truth.
Yeah, well, Last Jedi is one of the worst movies ever made, and it was very clear that Brian Johnson doesn't like Star Wars.
Kyle pulls no punches.
I want to ask how you're able to sleep at night.
Ethan brings bone-shattering common sense from the top rope.
If I may, how double dare you?
This is the Babylon Bee interview show.
You know what I love?
What?
To laugh.
You know what kind of people make other people laugh?
Comedians.
That's right.
And you know what the best kind of comedian is?
Not sitting down comedians, standing up comedians.
I think I say a comedian who just happens to be a Christian.
Oh, those guys too.
And that's why today we're having Dustin Nickerson into the studio.
He's driving his car from San Diego right now.
Any second.
He's going to jump through the window into that chair.
Get into that chair that we're going to put it right over there.
And we're going to have a laugh riot.
And it's going to be a real riot of laughter.
Yeah, it'll be like a Black Lives Matter rally laughing.
So I really respect Christian comedians that just tell good jokes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And Dustin's a funny guy.
We had a great chat about the youth pastor.
He used to go to Mars Hill Church.
What are some other tidbits?
Do you remember?
The Marshall Church thing, the youth pastor thing.
We like to ask comedians their worst bomb stories.
Oh, yeah, some good bomb stories.
Which is just fun in an interview to be like, tell us about the absolute worst moment of your career.
Yeah.
Let's relive it together.
He remembered his bombing stories with incredible detail.
Yeah.
Well, yeah, this one was pretty rough.
The heckler was wearing a red sweatshirt.
You know, he's just very intense, but, and I felt bad for him in that moment.
Yeah, so we like talking to comedians.
We're trying to do more of it because they have a fun perspective on things.
So Dustin's here.
He's here.
And it's going to be a fun talk.
Join us.
Join us for Dustin Nickerson.
Hey.
Oh, and he has a special.
If you want to watch his comedy, you can go on Amazon and check out Overwhelmed.
Isn't the thing for a comedy special?
It's an out.
I believe it's for purchase.
I don't think it's on free Amazon Prime Street.
I think it's like $4.99 or something to rent and maybe $10 to buy or whatever.
But Overwhelmed on Amazon.
Here we go.
All right, everybody.
Welcome, Dustin Nickerson.
How you doing?
Thank you.
It's not Nickerson or anything.
No, Okay.
No.
Nickerson.
We have a habit of mispronouncing our guests good.
Yours is pretty easy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know.
Pretty straightforward.
If you mess that up, you're just trying to tell a bad joke.
It's true.
Yeah, we are.
Are you saying I'm trying?
No, no.
So.
So comedy, huh?
Comedy.
Comedy.
Perfect.
That's exactly how you do it.
I want to get your ideas.
Yeah.
How do you come up with your material?
That's great.
Every.
That's like the only question you get usually.
Yeah.
Yeah.
How do you make up jokes?
Yeah.
So you're from, you live in San Diego.
You're from the Northwest.
Yes.
Seattle area.
Yes.
We were talking about this because I'm from the Northwest as well.
So when did you start?
What made you decide to do comedy?
What makes people make that decision?
Is that like your main thing you do?
Explain yourself.
Defend your decision.
You sound like a meant to be lectured.
Do you call yourself a clean comic?
Clean comic.
I don't use the label.
It's not like a...
It feels like you're calling everybody else filthy.
Clean comedy.
Dustin did.
It's not like all those filthy people.
Yeah.
No, no, no.
I do happen to work clean.
You know, but the best compliment you can get as a clean comedian is that nobody noticed.
Like after the fact, they're like, oh, I didn't even notice, you know, that you weren't up there sinning.
Does that go the other way?
They're like, I didn't even notice that you swore like a sailor.
Any of the F-bombs.
I think that way as a comedy fan.
Like, I don't think in terms of dirty and clean.
It's just funny and not funny to me.
So it's like how Christian artists don't like to be called Christian musicians.
Yeah, some of them.
Some really capitalize on it.
Yeah.
But it's like, I'm just an artist who's a good person.
And then they say that, but then their band is some pun of the word sun, only S-O-N.
And you're like, we didn't mean to be Christian.
Seems like you did.
Seems like you knew exactly what you were doing.
You get 316 in the band name.
We kind of know what you're going for there.
Yeah, the name of your album is Lord of Lords.
I think you knew your exact move.
They like to do that once they get to a certain level, though.
Because I feel like in Christian Entertainment, you can get to a certain point faster there because you've made a smaller market.
So you're like, oh, well, I can get.
And then once they're super established there, they're like, well, we're not really Christian artists.
Yeah, once you've tapped out the Christian market, you open the door.
Yeah, exactly.
Look who's talking, Babylon B.
I wasn't going to say it, but as long as you guys say something.
What a parody of that.
Yeah.
Well, that's, it is.
That's our excuse for everything.
That's how the Babylon Bee got on my radar is because I would get tagged by friends every once in a while, like, oh, have you seen this?
Or you guys would, like, I have an essential oils bit, and you guys would do.
And I would kind of get tagged on that.
You guys had an old headline about a pastor driving a Corolla.
And I used to do a bit about how I was like the average Corolla.
So that's kind of how it popped out of my mind.
Are you saying we stole all your no, Hey, listen.
Nothing new under the sun.
But again, now that you brought it up, those were, I like some of those.
One of my favorite B headlines is like, I really like the absurdist ones.
And there was one for years ago.
And the headline is Joel Osteen now flies.
I don't remember that one.
I don't know why.
It just struck a chord.
It was just in the sky.
I don't even know.
He might have done something ridiculous the day before.
Yeah, the power of his positive declaration.
Now, Flood.
I think that was an Adam Ford original.
Oh, really?
Before we took over the site and ruined it.
Now flies.
Oh, is that not a compliment to you guys?
No, no.
Because that makes me like an audience.
I was working with Adam at the time, but that's the complaint we always get.
Like when Adam sold the site, that's when it got ruined.
Oh.
Yeah.
We sold it.
But I was always writing a lot of the materials.
I was going to say, is that you guys like, is that because you're bigger now?
Is that what I ruined it?
You know how it is?
Like, are you guys?
Are you guys Green Day?
Did you sell out?
Is that what it is?
Yeah, this is our American Idiot.
You wear makeup now.
We should do an eyeliner episode.
I think anybody who feels like they were around originally, it's just the hipster shit.
Sure.
Yeah.
Well, there was definitely a shift where our first year or two, the Babylon Bee was way more big for its Christian church jokes.
Yeah.
And those kind of ran their course in a lot of ways.
And also then the Trump president or the Trump election everything happened.
And the political humor just like, we always had both.
Yeah.
But I think early on the Christian humor did much better and then it just shifted like the political jokes do much better now.
Right, right.
And, you know, you just got to give the people what they want, right?
It's not about artistic integrity.
God forbid you have a soul or a conscience.
Yeah, exactly.
Do what Elon Musk retweets.
That's what you got to do.
Exactly.
We finally got that.
You tried with like six different stories to get his attention.
Yeah.
That is an actual thing you guys see.
Is that those are conversations you have?
Yeah, sometimes.
Yeah.
No, I don't blame you.
It's a thought in the back of your head.
It's more like when you're writing an article.
Sure.
It's like, can we get them to, can we get their attention?
Yeah.
No, I get that.
I have a joke where I reference John Mayer, and I've thought many times, I would like if he saw this.
I wouldn't mind.
So it's friendly, it's kind of it is, yeah.
It's a story about which the story is so real, it sounds fake, but it's I'm doing some real pioneering stuff and joking about how white I am.
Real edgy stuff, you know, really changing the curve of the game.
Yeah.
I don't judge people's race.
But just teasing about me and my wife being just this cartoonishly white couple.
And my wife one time, this is a true story.
We were at my son's soccer game and his friend came up who happened to be African American.
And my wife asked him his name and he said Jameer.
And my wife said John Mayer.
And I just stood there flabbergasted.
Like, is that really what you think?
White translation.
That happened.
How would that even.
You think this little black child's first name is John Mayer?
That's how you're reading this scenario.
So, but yeah, I would love him to see that.
I was at a player on my kids one time, and there was a small black African-American child there, too.
We say black now.
I don't know which one you said.
I did both.
I went African-American and then black.
Yeah.
They kept calling him Little Black Boy.
Like, don't call him that.
Like Kimir Beard.
That's Little Black Boy.
Yeah, they're being really sweet to him.
Yeah.
But in their mind, that was the thing to call him Little Black Boy.
Yeah.
Children are, I can tell you this with confidence because both live in my house.
70-year-old men and 13-year-old boys are the least woke group on the planet.
They have no amount of progressivenism to them whatsoever.
Progressive assignment.
But there's none.
Like my 13-year-old son and my 70-year-old dad totally aligned.
And the words they say and the words that they think they can say and what they think is funny, the exact same.
Exact same.
And so maybe you just take a break between 13 and 70 is as far as like, hey, I need to exist socially in the world a little bit more, so I need to dial back a few words.
But I feel for my dad, like, we were talking about he's from Coos Bay, Oregon.
That's what I'm from.
Yeah, which is very random.
I've probably, yeah, I've spent a ton of time at Coos Bay.
And then the lakeside connection, even more so.
Yeah, I live in Lakeside.
It's tiny.
Like, Coos Bay is the city to us.
Like, we drive 20 miles.
Live right.
They've got the red lion.
They have two hotels.
It's the bright lights.
But I mean, he's like, he was born in 1951, and his high school had a black person, just the one, you know?
And it's like, you can only, like, AARP does not send out a newsletter saying, hey, these are the words we can't say anymore.
You know, like, you can only expect so much from someone born in that setting.
Like, he's very lovely and kind, but yeah, you know, there's a little rough around the edges.
Yeah.
What kind of words would he say?
Oh, only.
Like, my mom's born in 1950.
So, yeah, she uses some of those words.
In Coos Bay, do our parents know each other?
There's a chance.
There's a chance, huh?
Yeah.
I will ask.
Do you guys want any snacks or anything?
No.
This is going to be exclusively.
And then we're going to move on to Reedsport.
We're just going to do all 101 or worked on Safeway in Readsport.
My dad had a really sketchy doctor in Reedsport that would give him pills he probably shouldn't have.
You know, the Readsport way.
Wow.
Well, we can't talk all day about Coos County.
I think we can.
I mean, we can.
I don't want everyone to feel left.
Yeah.
Lots of beaver jokes.
I don't know.
There's beavers.
Well, yeah, they're proud of them.
They are.
I saw one.
It took me like 10 years of living in the area to see a beaver finally.
I think I was back visiting, actually.
It's like getting Bar Mitzfoot when you're in Coospain, like you have seen your first beaver.
It's like coming of age, put the hat on you or something.
I don't know.
Well, they make it sound like they're everywhere.
And I don't know, they hide well or something.
I don't know.
We're the clean comics, so we're talking about the animal.
We're the clean comics.
Not even in question on this pod.
Exactly.
Nobody had made that connection until you just now.
Called like a season.
So Seattle, huh?
Yeah.
So technically Federal Way, which is like right next to Tacoma.
But then, you know, when I got married and I went to the University of Washington and lived up there for about 10 years, that's where I like identify a little more.
Like I've lived in San Diego for like nine years, but Seattle kind of, especially like growing up in Seattle in the 90s, like it's a very like iconic, very like, you know, like this is who you are time.
You know, it's a very strong identity.
So are you grunge?
Yeah, I caught like the tail end of grunge, like in like kind of the punk scene coming after it because like, what, Cobain died in 94, so I was 10, you know, so it was like, you know, I was around, but, you know, I'm not going to a lot of Nirvana concerts at that point, but not yet.
Yeah, just a few.
I mean, I wasn't four or five of them a year, max.
So I caught like kind of the tail end of it, you know, but it's like, you know, it very much like defined the era that in Sean Camp and Ken Griffey Jr.
I mean, that was, you know, pretty, pretty, pretty rock solid time for Seattle in the 90s.
Well, so you see something like Chaz happen in Seattle.
Surprised it didn't happen earlier.
Yeah, and you see, that's what I'm saying.
You see it and you're like, oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No surprise.
That's what's going on in Portland.
I'm like, because I lived in Portland before I moved here.
And it's like, yeah, why wasn't that happening before?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It seemed like it was always bubbling up.
To me, it only seemed like a slight exaggeration of what Capitol Hill already was.
As someone who spent a lot of time there, I was like, yeah, I mean, you dialed it up maybe a point, you know, you just named it.
It was better branding.
That was all, you know.
So it wasn't a surprise at all.
And also not a surprise that it didn't go well.
As many wonderful or utopian ideas are.
Oh, what's that?
There's no cops.
People are getting murdered.
What a stunner.
Crazy.
What a huge surprise.
A lack of law enforcement.
Not to make light of that, but that was not a surprise at all.
Yeah.
I had something.
I forgot it.
So San Diego.
San Diego.
San Diego.
He lived in San Diego.
I did.
I love San Diego.
It's my favorite city in the world.
So why do you go to San Diego?
Huge comedy.
I mean, if you lived in San Diego and you're on trial here, why did you move to well, I didn't move.
I moved halfway.
Okay.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
Are you guys undisclosed?
Kind of.
We always say generally.
Although the location of our office is in the New York Times.
Yeah.
I said, don't tell us where they are.
And they just put it in the captions.
Yeah.
I'm like, oh, thanks.
Appreciate that.
But you left San Diego.
I did.
Okay.
Why'd you leave?
Basically for this job.
Okay.
But we'll ask the questions around here.
San Diego.
San Diego.
San Diego was an excuse to leave Seattle.
Like, I was working at a, I was working at a big church up there named Mars Hill Church.
You may have heard of it.
Oh, wow.
Like the Christian Autonomous.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know, I work Maz.
Mars Hill.
No, I worked there, and I always say, like, people are like, like, we left before the crap hit the fan, it was rising.
And we're like, hey, let's get out of here.
San Diego seems nice.
And had a job opportunity down there.
And I wasn't doing comedy at the time.
So, but we moved down there and that's when I started doing comedy.
And now, you know, there's the mass exodus out of California and stuff.
But like, if you don't, if you live in San Diego, you're like, it's fine.
You know.
That's such a cool place.
Yeah, it's pretty lovely down here.
And like the, you know, like, it's, it's, I mean, I'm sure it's even more so in certain counties here.
But I made the joke this morning of just like, like this second round of lockdowns, it feels a little bit like when one parent grounded you, but the other parent has to enforce it and they're not as enthusiastic.
You know, they're like, they just kind of have to save face a little bit.
They're like, nah, you can do whatever you want, but I, but don't tell them, you know, like you've caught on to the like the grounding is not really as enforced.
Exactly.
Yeah.
But well, because at the end of the day, it comes down to the cops and they don't want to do it.
Yeah, the cops are like, we're not doing plenty of work to do.
We did this whole national conversation about how the cops are already have way too many different things to deal with.
And that they add on them getting on everybody for if they're eating, you know, wearing a max between bites.
Yeah.
Yeah, you really, you really for them.
Yeah.
Are they omnipotent?
Like, how are cops supposed to handle any of this?
I did a show last night in Anaheim and it was like, it was so funny because we were just like, I mean, is this illegal tomorrow?
Are we criminals at midnight?
Is this and it was a drive-in show.
So it was a drive-in show.
And so you feel like muffled laughter inside closed cars.
I know every once in a while you guys, you know, your pods you hit with those hard-hitting questions.
Do you have any good stories?
Listen.
Yeah.
I like how our guests do more research than we do.
I'm a stand-up comedian, by the way.
I don't know.
I don't know what you know or don't know about me.
Doosten Nikerson.
Yeah.
Is that bad joke?
But the but there's plenty of like bad stories and stuff.
Like, you know, I've been booed off stage or I've had a proposal.
I remember one time there's a proposal before me and the girl said no.
There's been like amazing stuff.
But all the bad stories are now this year.
These are going to come in the subscriber.
Yeah, there you go.
But like now all the bad stories are this year's comedy stories.
Like drive-in story, drive-ins are terrible.
I mean, there couldn't be worse.
It's like it's worse than Zoom?
It's one, yeah, way worse than Zoom.
Oh, really?
Way worse.
Because at least Zoom, there's something.
It's like one thing to be at a show and walk somebody and see them leave.
It's quite another to hear them turn on their engine and see them drive away.
Like in the other scenarios, they might be going to the bathroom.
Like, no, they're leaving.
They are.
Yeah, exactly.
You could have changed your fan belt before you being heckled by a squeaky fan belt.
So it's all real bad.
But the guy, I was talking to one of the guys at the venue.
I was like, so this is it.
And he said one of the saddest sentences I've ever heard.
He goes, Yeah, we're canceling, you know, everything shut down.
I was at the Grove in Anaheim.
He goes, we had to cancel the Beach Boys next week.
That's like the saddest sentence I've ever heard.
But also just like, this is where we're at, California.
You can't come listen to the Beach Boys in your car.
This is not allowed.
Like, because it was a drive-in.
It wasn't, but because it's the shared bathroom, that's why the drive-ins have to close too, you know.
They can't bring like a bottle or something.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
They could find their way.
Yeah.
It's not like, all right.
This is a country where we pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and figure it out.
Yeah.
They get you a mask and a catheter as you come in.
Yeah, class me bags we provided.
Yeah.
I'm sure at some point there's going to be a singularity because they're closing down all the small businesses and all the gatherings.
And eventually you're just going to have everybody in one.
The store.
You'll have like a million people.
This is the pandemic free store.
Well, they've shown too that like when you close down stuff, it just makes people go gather in homes more, which is way worse as far as like just, yeah, I don't know.
And then the curfews, which is a weird thing.
It's like, you know, if everybody doesn't go out for a certain amount of time, then they'll all go out more around the same time.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, that should help too.
You can't get COVID after 10.
You can't get it sitting down.
It's great news.
You can't get COVID sitting now.
That's significant.
I love it.
I always prefer sitting anyways, and I'm safer.
I think that that's what's like, for me, I'll hear folks talk about, oh, it's government control and they overreach and whatever.
You have your stance.
I don't care.
To me, it's just shown an absolute incompetence and the arbitrary nature of it.
Like in San Diego, we had a point where I was like, I was just like went on it.
I was like, okay, so just so we're clear, schools closed, strip clubs open.
Churches close, casinos open.
You know, like as long as you admit to the arbitrary nature of it, don't play any game where you're acting like one's safer or more dangerous.
Just be like, hey, man, we don't know what we're doing.
This is absolute guesswork.
Are they just no churches below bay or what is it?
I don't know what, I don't know.
Churches need to be more.
Well, there's some that have been pretty rebellious.
Yeah, MacArthur, right?
Mark MacArthur went to bat, you know, which like, I mean, if that's like been your life's work and someone's like, hey, you can't do this anymore.
Like, I understand where he's coming from.
I, I, you know, I don't, I'd say easy.
It's the best excuse I've had to skip church for nine months.
So I've never, we've been late to Zoom church every week.
Every week.
In the living room.
Late.
Every single week.
So I've not, I'm not like dying to get back and sing oceans next to a stranger.
There's no, there's no part of me that's like, get us back gathering, you know, but I'm not a pastor.
And if I was, maybe I'd be, I'd care a little more on that.
Yeah.
This is completely off the track, but I was listening to one of your comedy things and you made an offhand remark.
Great sell.
One of your comedy things.
You really, all of this does feel like a grandparent interrogating me.
What makes someone want to do comedy?
Why would you make, I've watched one of your comedy things.
No, you made this off, this off, like off-to-the-side remark where you said, you made it, you said salsa, and you said, or salsa, if you've heard my other jokes, and I haven't heard the other jokes you're talking about.
But my wife continually gives me crap because I pronounce salsa, salsa, salsa.
I'm not thinking about it.
Yeah.
What the heck?
And she thinks an anomaly.
So you said that.
No, it's a thing.
Yeah.
It's a part of.
Is it Northwest?
I don't know.
I don't know.
My wife, she's from nowhere.
She's a military lab.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
No, I mean, I mean, the MCU is nowhere, the distant planet.
No, it's, sorry, too nerdy.
I got him.
No, she grew up military brat, and so there's not like a distinct identity there, but like she, I think her mom said it, and she says it.
And it's a part of a larger bit where it just say like your marriage is really like marriage is like a, it's less about like, it is about like how much you adore somebody, but it's also much how much you can endure them.
And like, can you stand their terrible things?
And my wife says salsa and I laugh about it, but I see it like hurt other people.
She says it.
She says it and they go, oh, gosh.
You know, and it like clearly, I mean, we live 15 minutes from Mexico now.
So the pronunciation of salsa is important.
We live in northern Tijuana.
And so it's, but I can put up with it.
I can handle it.
That's.
I've learned to change.
I don't say it wrong anymore.
Good.
Yeah.
How does she pronounce tacos?
She, she's a little racist.
She actually doesn't eat Mexican food.
And that's why she says salsa.
It's actually a disparaging way against the culture.
Between that and Jameer, it's really her and my dad get along great.
Couldn't have your wife on the show.
She's a big fan of the bee.
Big fan of the beast.
I imagine so.
Got a good racist audience.
So is she an essential oils saleswoman?
No, no, no, no.
She sees through that stupid nonsense.
That's all in your brain, baby.
Just like religion.
But there's some truth to that idea.
What I mean right here, dude.
I said I go to church when, you know, I'm on the team.
Just a comedian who happens to be Christian.
Exactly.
Not a Christian comedian.
No, the, yeah, that's all in your brain, right?
Like, peppermint fixes nausea.
I mean, if you want it to, if you want it to, it can.
I bet it can.
They have one for everything.
Yeah, my, I have an in-law.
Yeah.
She's deep, deep, deep into the essential oils mafia.
You guys should watch my stand-up comedy sometime.
I talk a lot about this stuff.
And I sent you a free copy of my special.
I did watch it.
The reason I brought it up is because they watched it and told us to talk to you about it.
I watched it on the card.
I watched the first 10 minutes or so.
The 41-minute car ride.
Yeah.
I watched it.
Well, I didn't watch it, but I didn't get to the essential oils part.
No.
It's about 11 minutes ago.
I was giving you a chance to use it.
I just missed it.
It's right after the guy falls asleep.
The thing is that I said this morning, I was like, I'm going to listen to something the other guys didn't listen to.
I was listening to your Zoom.
It was like a quarantine conversation.
Oh, there you go.
Yeah.
See?
That is definitely very few listen to.
That was, yeah.
It was one of the first things that popped up when I searched your name and video.
Oh, that's good.
YouTube, it's a, it's a, well, you guys know that because you're starting to do more video stuff with this that you're like, you're like, oh, I have like a bunch of, not a bunch, but I, like, on Instagram, people are like, oh, this is like a guy.
He does some stuff.
And on YouTube, you're like, oh, he's trying.
Yeah.
He's trying to be here in this new space.
YouTube's brutal.
It is because it's social media and a search engine.
And so you're just like.
And none of the social media wants to let you share it.
No, no, no.
If you share YouTube on Facebook, it dies.
Yep.
And Twitter doesn't.
Yeah, they all want you to use their videos.
So getting people to actually share it.
Yeah.
They're like a divorced parent where you're like, you say something nice about your mom, but your dad didn't want to hear it.
Yeah, you're correct.
I'm not going to support that in any way.
Anyways, my parents are divorced.
Yeah, Coos Bay.
I didn't have a chance.
My dad, we're going back to Koos Bay.
He always says this.
So Pre-Fontaine, you know, from Koos Bay.
And my dad went to high school with him.
And, you know, Pre-Fontaine, very sadly, I mean, he's the runner, right?
Very sadly died in, you know, a drunk driving accident.
And my dad said, yeah, you know, you can take the kid out of Koos Bay, but you can't take the Koos Bay out of the kid.
He was just still a good old boy, you know, who's like, yeah, I'll have some drinks and drive without a seatbelt around Eugene.
Super sad.
Anyways.
Yeah, I used to deliver newspapers on Pre-Fontaine Lane.
There you go.
Anyway.
Coffee, pastries.
You're good.
Okay.
Kyle just grew up in California, so his has a boring.
His has a boring life story.
Why does that make it a boring life?
I have a boring life story for other reasons.
You never got to share your testimony.
Yeah, retreats and stuff.
I really got robbed because I have great parents, grew up in the church.
Yeah.
I always get to share my life.
So sad.
Yeah.
Go to waste.
That really screwed me.
Thanks a lot, mom and dad.
Usually that makes for like a more exciting adulthood, but you kind of just stayed boring.
Just stayed boring.
Yeah.
Didn't rebel.
No.
Yeah.
Did you ever rebel at all?
Wait, we were interviewing Kyle Lane.
My rebellion was like.
Did you hit a bong once?
Well, so our church growing up was very like our church growing up was very like mainline, seeker sensitive, like kind of a little wishy-washy and stuff.
So my rebellion was like getting hardcore about theology.
Okay.
That's the last thing I mean between me and my wife.
My wife was always a real rule follower.
And I think she's like hitting this point where she's realizing like I've just followed every rule ever and I feel like I'm like in this box or whatever.
Yeah.
My rule following was a bit of an act of rebellion because my parents never really told me to do it.
And it was like this weird thing because I grew up an artist and I was around artists all the time.
It felt more rebellious to like be more conservative and to like actually listen to preaching.
I don't know, to be more to not be like a total hippie that's just doing drugs and drawing lime high.
Yeah.
So it was more of my choice rather than feeling like I was following the rules.
Yeah.
So yeah.
You rebelled against the rebellious group.
No, no, no, it's fine.
I'm just happy to be a part of it all.
I guess if you're a Seattle rebel, you rebel in Seattle, you like become a police officer or something.
Yeah, moving to Portland made me more conservative.
That's funny.
Yeah, well, if you're like constantly in the extremes, yeah, then you're like, you know, sometimes when you like, I don't know, those cities are like full of just regular people, but they don't necessarily write the headlines or they don't, they aren't the spokespeople.
They're not trying to be the mascot of the city.
No.
No, exactly.
That's a good way of putting it.
Yeah, yeah.
This is Bob.
Yeah.
They're not.
It's our mascot.
Yeah, like most people like see a camera and they're like, I'll go.
I got to go to work.
I got to, I don't have, like, really what my, like, what Seattle's full is of, you know, 100,000 people that work at Microsoft.
That's what Seattle is full of.
Yeah, and designers.
Exactly.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So it's, you know.
Well, I guess the game designers probably were at Chad's, a lot of them.
Oh, yeah.
Maybe.
I don't know.
I like the idea of like having like a soft, like a little, like a little, like you got into theology as your rebellion.
That's so funny.
Or like maybe not as hardcore.
You're like, well, I don't believe in the pee and tulip.
Like, that was it.
I'm out.
Like, oh my gosh, we got a real prodigal here.
Yeah, they cast me out on the whole thing.
So, you were a youth pastor?
Yeah, kind of.
Wait, was this a Mars Hill?
Yeah, but that was like, it was more like, you know, when, like, if you're like, when you're in your early 20s and you're trying to figure out what you want to do with your life, if you happen to be around church circles, sometimes you just kind of like pick up a job there.
Yeah.
And you're like, I was like, oh, yeah, maybe I could do a ministry.
Like, you know, like I said, I'm on the team and this is cool.
And, and then, but like, I was like 22, so I was only age appropriate was to do youth ministry.
I'm not going to get into marital counseling, you know.
I was like, I'm barely older than a few of these kids.
You're not Josh Harris.
Yeah.
Some of these kids were like freshmen when I was a senior.
And I'm like, I'm your pastor now.
It was a little bit.
So I did that, but I was like, never like the main guy.
I was more like the planning guy.
It was a big church.
So it was just like there were multiple roles.
You didn't do altar calls?
No, I mean, maybe a couple here and there, you know.
But do you do altar calls then your comedies?
Exclusively.
It's actually the last, I do an offering and then an altar call.
That's the Carmen approach.
And then another offering.
Yeah.
I think there's big money for Christian comics.
Like, go around to churches and be like, oh, I'm the Christian comic.
And they do like a lot of beacon ring.
If you can nail that market, I guess.
Yeah.
Worship leader jokes, man.
Yeah, there's, I mean, there's like some like huge, you know, comics in the church world.
And I've always had kind of like a foot in that world.
And some of them are freaking hysterical, too.
Like Tim Hawkins, Tim Hawkins is one of the funniest people I've ever met.
On and off stage, so funny, like just effortlessly talented.
Like he can do anything.
Like we would be like, I toured with him for a couple of years on and off.
And we would be like, I'd take like six weeks off.
And I'm like, hey, man, how was your, you know, what'd you do?
And he's like, oh, yeah, I learned French and piano.
I was like, in six weeks?
You know, like, he's just that guy.
You know, like, he like walked on it, like, you know, to play baseball at Mazoo, got a scholarship, then quit.
You know, like, just like the, I can do whatever I want, guys.
So there's some that are really funny.
And then there's some that are just like, oh, you're here because this was your only option.
Yeah.
And nothing else.
You know, like, because like they're nicer here.
And you can get and there's a Christian comedy.
Well, audiences, yeah.
There's no drugs.
I was ready to laugh.
Yeah.
You mentioned worship leaders?
Yeah, exactly.
My experience in that the ones who are like the funniest of the Christian comedians are the ones though who started and/or are still in the club circuit because like that's just it just makes you better.
You're just, it's just, because it's harder, you know, it's like anything.
It's just more intense training, you know.
So, but that goes both ways because I've dealt with rowdy drunks and plenty.
And I'll take a churches or yeah.
No, no, I will say a drink.
A drinking Christian crowd is like the best crowd you can get.
It is like, you know, like I was like, oh, this is going to, because you guys like appreciate kind of the cleaner stuff, but you're a little looser as far.
Well, I mean, obviously, biologically in that moment, you're a little looser.
You're impaired.
But the, you know, but their sense of humor, a little less uptight, you know.
So like when you, if you have some Christian fans that like come see you at a comedy club and they have a couple drink minimum and I'm like, this is ideal.
This is perfect, perfect setting right here.
But I'll take, I've done, I'll take that over like, I've done like youth gigs and you're like, oh gosh, give me the rowdy drunks as opposed to like the angsty teens.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I did it.
I did a junior high lock-in once.
And the right way before me is they had, this is early on in the career.
And, you know, there were a lot more yeses early on in the career.
There's also been a lot more yeses in 2020.
I don't want to do it, but I hear you rent.
But right before me, the junior high pastor got up and he's like, hey, before we bring up the comedian, never.
Just bring me up.
I don't want any before, you know.
And he goes, everybody come get a pixie stick.
And they got the big pixie sticks, you know, like the huge one.
And they go, everybody pound it.
And then we're going to have a contest of who can scream the loudest.
And so the five minutes before me was just them pounding drugs, just putting drugs in their system and then yelling.
And then they announced speed, but nobody heard it because they were still yelling.
And now I was just the guy on stage.
And it went real bad.
It went real bad.
And most of the room, it wasn't that I bombed.
It was most of the room just started doing other things.
Like they're like, we're going to go over here and play soccer.
We're just going to go over here and start passing notes.
It was, yeah.
Anyway, I would do that gig next month if I had the opportunity right now.
It's been a slow year.
I would say the biggest slap on the face so far, just to go back to making fun of California, is when they had me renew my business license.
And I was like, you're not going to let me be a business, but you're going to make me renew my license.
This seems insulting.
So it's like when they're giving parking tickets in LA right now, you're like, oh, so you're not allowed to leave, but you got to move your car.
You're like, come on, guys.
This is still going to get there.
Exactly.
Back to Coos Bay.
I snorted a pixie stick on the school bus.
Yeah.
On a dare, I snorted the entire pixie outside.
Turned it up the yard or the small one.
No, that smaller one.
Okay.
Yeah.
Anyway, that's all I got.
Could you taste the flavor?
Or was it just a burning?
It was a burning.
It tastes like burning.
That would be a little bit.
It tastes like burning in sinuses and a little bit of lime.
That would be a better tip of lime.
That would be a better version of hot ones.
I mean, spicy wings are one flavor.
There are two levels of spicy pixie snakesies.
Snorting pixie snitches.
So, Paul Rudd.
All right, right for the next one.
Tell me about Amen and the Wasp.
Sriracha ain't a big deal, right?
Look at us.
Those sauces, I bought some of those sauces from Hot Ones.
I was curious, you know?
Yeah.
They're no joke.
The Bomb Diggity, I think it's called?
The Bomb one?
Yeah.
The Bomb.com, something like that.
It's like a nuclear, it's a second-to-last one.
Yeah.
And it is like, yeah.
Is that an enjoyable experience, though?
No.
Yeah.
Who's that for?
But no, it's interesting because I'm like, you'd think they'd, or unless they put something different in there because you just think celebrities, how would they, you know?
You're putting yourself in a, I guess that's what makes the show interesting.
Somebody that's always that perfect, and then they're going to like eat something that hot and handle it.
Yeah.
Because I was just, yeah, I was curious.
So I got the little bottle.
I should bring it on the show.
Yeah.
But those are real products.
Like, who's consuming those?
I think people, I mean, I like hot.
I like really hot.
But yeah, that's like that is a certain level where it is like it kind of crosses into that like being a massoch.
Yeah, people that cut themselves.
Yeah.
The only pain that's real, you know?
It's like that.
The only thing I can tap to another sensation.
It's like goth of flavor.
Exactly.
It's like goth.
It's manly goth.
It's like.
It's goth with a flannel or whatever under our beard.
We're in black flannel.
Beard goth.
You just can go in the mirror and cry.
Put on the cure.
Just think of the nine-inch nails while Johnny Cash and the boss.
Yeah, you have to do manly or music.
It has to be Soundguard.
It has to be ACDC or something hard, you know.
Fantastic.
So, why'd you have kids?
Oh, that's, you know, I was just wanted to fulfill the Abrahamic covenant.
Yeah.
You know, or be fruitful and multiply.
Correct answer.
Mexico.
Fulfill that quiver.
You got married young, right?
Yeah, I was 19.
Wow.
I was.
I had turned 20 like one month prior.
So I beat you.
You beat me.
So how different are you from when you got married?
Because a lot of people get married that young.
They're like a whole different person like 10 years in.
Yeah, totally different.
And your wife still on board?
Pretty similar.
She's similar to who she was.
But how's she handling you changing?
I think she likes me better now.
Oh, that's good.
Yeah.
I think.
She liked me then, but it is like she liked me.
She married me.
She was on the team to keep using that.
You know.
If you get married at 19, it's more that you just like the idea of marriage, right?
You don't really.
Well, you're also a Christian and you just can't wait to have sex.
Yeah, yeah, I got it.
Yeah.
You're like, where's the money?
That was my primary consideration.
Yeah, yeah.
Mine too, but I still couldn't find anybody until I was like 32.
We were like, we started dating in high school and we were, you know, we were good.
Do you, I don't know, this is a personal question.
Sure, sure.
Have you?
Super personal.
I have, you know, because like the purity culture stuff is very much, you know, at a youth group.
And then you always wonder, you're like, are the older Christians doing this too?
Are they waiting?
You know, like it's, I've asked my wife, I was like, if we started dating now, we're 35 or 36, you know, but in high school, like, you know, when you're in like youth group, like youth group culture is like the only sin is sex and lust.
Like that's it.
And they'd be like, hey, man, do you look at porn this week?
No, great.
You're like, I mean, I bullied a special needs kid.
And like, they're like, that's fine.
You didn't look at porn.
You know?
It's totally fine.
Andy's lying about that.
It's totally fine that you lied.
Not a big deal.
Really, the only one God cares about.
He's literally the only sin.
And which just like makes it worse in some ways that you're like, I mean, that was like the old, like, it was the Joshua Harris thing, right?
The bouncing eyes or whatever.
You're just like, that just makes you look like a freak.
You're just like walking around in public.
Like, you look schizophrenic.
You can't.
You're bobbing all the time.
Yeah.
Like, no, I think you need to teach someone to be able to politely go up to a young woman and have a normal conversation.
Like, why won't you look me in the eye?
I'm not supposed to make eye contact.
You harlot.
I can say as a man who's courting at age like 30, 31, oh yeah, it's much harder.
I mean, it's like, we're adults.
Yeah.
You don't have a youth pastor.
Yeah.
Nobody, like, literally, no one will judge us if we're doing it at that age.
None.
It purely has to be.
I judge you that you didn't.
Yeah.
We did pretty good.
I'm not going to get into detail.
You know, those verses are kind of loose anyways.
Yeah.
I always figure, I mean, there's so many guys.
I mean, what was Ruth doing at Boaz's fiend?
I mean, King David and things he did.
Yeah, keep marriage bed pure.
I mean, that's pretty vague.
Pretty much a social construct anyway.
So, you know.
We'll start saying things and you blink if you did them before marriage.
We all blink.
How far did you go?
Is this a contest?
Yeah.
Game with the fingers.
And never have I ever.
It is funny to reflect back on that time of your life, though, because you're like, you know, we've been married for 16 years now.
And you're like, that was like the only thing then.
It was just like, don't have sex, don't have sex, don't have, don't do anything, purity, purity, period.
Like the only thing that mattered.
And now you're grown-ups and you have real issues going on here.
I was like, I gotta, like, I have to study for finals and not have sex.
Those are the only things, only things in my world right now.
So now, how many kids later are you?
We have three kids.
And we will, I mean, Lord willing, we won't be having no more kids.
Yeah.
My wife wanted four.
I wanted two.
We had three.
And she pretty.
Did she break you?
She almost, it seemed like I think she scheduled my vasectomy during labor.
I think I was like, like it was on the calendar fast.
And I was like, I wasn't, this wasn't a discussion that we had.
Was she scheduled yours?
Yes.
Yeah.
Right.
I wonder what percentage of vasectomies get scheduled during labor?
Probably high percentage.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
That's a salesman right there.
Yeah.
I noticed you're in a lot of pain.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Would you like me to ensure this doesn't happen again?
So you had kids just for the jokes?
No, I wasn't a comedian at the time.
Yeah.
I started comedy late.
I was 27, had two kids, been married for nine years.
Had the thought crossed your mind up to that point?
No, I didn't know.
Like, I didn't know how to do it, you know, like, because there was like, I love Standing House.
Figure that out.
The stand-up comedy, like, I always loved stand-up comedy.
It's like, you know, like when you were like, it's grown up, 90s, early 2000s, it was on all the time on Comedy Central.
Comedy Central is a lot like the MTV and that like it doesn't play music anymore.
Like they barely have stand-up anymore.
But like when we were growing up, it was like exclusively, it was just all the Comedy Central presents and South Park and then the Daily Show, you know, and Chappelle show.
Like this was, that was what the channel was, you know?
And so I love stand-up comedy.
And then when I like, it was like almost like a bucket list type thing, for lack of a better word.
But then when I moved to San, you know, when you move and you don't know anybody anymore, you're like, I've always wanted to try this.
I can reinvent myself.
Exactly.
There is a little bit of that because it's like less embarrassing, you know?
Like, if I would have grown up in Seattle, if Pym's like, he went to an open mic?
Like, is Dustin okay?
You know?
And the answer was I was not, but at least I could be not okay in anonymity.
And so I just went to a local open mic at a comedy club.
And stand-up is so hard and bad, especially at first, that you're like, people are like, I've always wanted to try it.
I'm like, well, do it.
And you will know right away if you want to keep doing it.
It will teach you pretty quick.
Because it's never worse than the beginning.
Your first few sets, and when you do open mics for the first couple of years, it's just like you come in and you have like, there's like little phrases that you use that like only make sense in the comedy world like, dude, there's seven, but they're a good seven.
Oh, okay.
So we're working with, you know, like, or there's sometimes you'll perform literally for nobody.
You're just like a psychopath in the corner just broadcasting these jokes.
And you tell yourself that this happened.
I remember, so one of the first things that early on, I started, it can be really helpful in stage time to run a show early on because then, you know, you get a guaranteed stage time and then you, you know, you're booking people and sometimes they'll book you back and stuff like that.
So I inherited a show.
There was another show at a little place.
It's close to where I live called Space Bar.
Space Bar is an internet cafe, which looks very dated.
It's just, it's called a coffee shop.
So it's like a space bar.
Exactly.
There you go.
And it was always bar.
Yeah.
It's got like 11 meanings.
It's pretty deep.
It's bad coffee, worse comedy.
It's really bad.
And it was always so bad.
You had all the normal distractions of like, I remember I'd always get so mad when somebody would order a smoothie because the blender.
Oh, yeah.
And I was like, this is going to be like three minutes of blender.
You know, you would almost just wait it out.
But I remember one time.
So they had, you know, it's like this old internet cafe.
So they actually had computers.
And I'm on stage bombing for like four people.
And I look over.
And the computer to my left, there's a guy on the computer with headphones on watching stand-up comedy.
He's watching Daniel Tosh.
And I'm like, this is, I'm right here.
And you're watching.
But in the moment, I can't blame him because that is better than what he's seen.
It just felt particularly insulting.
So those were a lot of the early gigs, stuff like that.
Yeah, we had a little coffee shop in my own back in Couspe.
Yeah.
And they would do acoustic.
They do acoustic shows.
This is a big deal.
I'm the only guest that.
I know it just reminded me, like, they do acoustic shows.
Yeah.
But then, like, every two minutes, they'd be blending up some kind of Frappuccino smoothie or something.
So they'd be out on the other guy and be like, look into your ass.
The gig there at the mill.
So those are like, that's a type gig that you do is casino gigs, you know, and they're, those are like some of the worst ones you can do when they are open to the casino.
And you just hear like, ding, ding, ding, like in the back.
You playing their games and you're talking.
Yeah, exactly.
Like, you hear someone yell because they want a bunch of money.
And yeah, it's.
I get like playing piano like that, but doing comedy like that seems to be a punishment.
Like they're trying to do it.
It is a punishment.
It's all a punishment.
And it's.
Is it pay good?
No.
What?
No.
Pay's never good.
But you have to like learn how to do it.
You know, and like you, you just have to learn how to, when you do the bad gigs, you know, you just get better at it.
Like some of the early road stuff that I did.
Like I got on the road pretty early because, you know, I was like, I got to figure out how to make money at this.
So I have to have longer time.
I have to have an hour.
I have to become a headliner.
I have to figure these things out.
And I would go do these casinos in like, you know, Arizona, Nevada, stuff like that.
And a lot of time you would do like a cold 30 and you, you, there was no introduction.
You just walked out and talked for 30 minutes.
And then you went out.
That's what it felt like.
And a lot of time people are like, what?
What's happening?
Like, they didn't necessarily know that there was a show.
Just brutal.
So I remember like in, it was such a big deal to me when I got to perform in Vegas for the first time because I had to like earn Vegas because I did all the other bad cities in Nevada.
Like I did Prim three times and Laughlin and Perump and Mesquite, you know, and I was like, finally.
Like it's very depressing when you had to do Mesquite because you have to drive through Vegas like an hour.
And you're like, no, that's where the shows are.
I'm not supposed to be going past this to go into Mesquite to bomb.
It's not even really a bomb.
It's like you're just like, it's like a show's not happening.
You're just there and people are like, is this?
What do you do mentally?
Like, do you imagine just one person that you love that is watching you laughing at everything you see?
You find the people that are enjoying it.
And you just go straight to that.
But there's nobody, though.
You just kind of just like going to like Will Farrell.
Will Farrell in old school, you like blackout.
You're like, I don't know what happened.
At first, you're so like.
Can you explain the plot of old school for me and homeschool?
No.
I will not.
I've never seen it either.
Yeah.
Okay.
Wow, that's a very, that's for, that's very much, I thought, in the zeitgeist of most adults.
Most people have seen, yeah, so that's.
No, that's a huge movie to not see.
But I understand that you guys are better Christians than me.
And whatever nerds.
It's good to call it.
But yeah, you just like, at the beginning of like, you're just like really, you're scared of bad gigs.
And then you do enough of them that you're just more annoyed by them.
You're like, ah, I was hoping this would have been a good one.
You start cussing out the audience.
No, that's happened one time.
I've lost my.
You did that?
I did one time.
Yeah.
You just cussed out the audience?
No, two girls.
They were women.
I don't know why I said little girls.
Yes.
And everybody on stage liked me except them.
And I would make fun of them.
And everybody was laughing, including their friends.
They were all laughing.
It was a group of women.
There was like 11 of them.
It was a winery gig.
Winery gigs are so brutal because like the show's at seven, but they got there at two.
Yeah.
And they're gone by the time that you get them.
They're just in a haze, you know?
And so like dealing with drunks is, I always use a metaphor.
It's like moving a mattress.
Like even when you got it, you don't really feel like you got it.
You know, you're like, I could lose you at any time.
And that's how it feels.
Because when you're drunk, there's no social cues.
I can look at me like, shut up.
And they're like, this is stupid.
They're like, no, no, no, I need you.
And the gigs like that never have.
There's no security.
There's no nothing.
It's just you up there.
You're your own security.
You should carry pepper spray.
Yeah, for that reason.
That's good.
Yeah, that would have been it.
I'm not big enough now to get canceled, and I surely wasn't then, but pepper spraying some women in your audience is probably...
Yeah.
They wouldn't shut up.
That would go behind.
These women were talking.
First off, it's like church.
The women shouldn't be talking in general.
Couldn't believe they were in here without their head coverings.
And no.
Everybody's laughing because we're having a good time with it.
It was, you know, it was fun.
And they like flipped me off because they were like stewing.
You lost it.
No, I wouldn't say I lost it.
I said some choice words.
I believe to edit my own self, I believe what I said was, F me, why don't you go F yourself?
And then I called my wife and I was like, I'm sorry.
This is on YouTube, baby.
Yeah.
Dan rolled tape.
Yeah, exactly.
We've never done it.
This was a winery in Temecula.
I don't even think they have the internet there.
Don't know that it's made it.
This wasn't Spacebar.
No, no, this was before the bright lights of Spacebar.
Oh, and it's at Spacebar.
It has the logo.
At the Space Barbara, A and Immanbar.
I don't know.
Spence.
Space Badger.
That's one of those areas in California that's just kind of acting like nothing's happening.
Like you go to Temecula and you're like, okay, you're not, there's nothing, there's no mask.
It depends where you are, you know, but they're just kind of acting like, nah, nah, it's all fine.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
That is correct.
That is the general area in which I live.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, you're down in that area too.
Oh, okay.
We just walked through them all.
No one's wearing masks.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Kissing.
All kinds of stuff.
Yeah.
The whole thing.
Yeah.
It's pretty great.
Which goes to show you, to show my story, a good comedy crowd, doesn't matter if you're conservative or liberal.
It matters if you're what level of sobriety you're at.
Is there a difference in crowd?
I mean, I don't know between like big city, small town, or more liberal, more not, or even just like culturally.
Sure, yeah, absolutely.
You know, I think that, you know, I like, I like to be versatile.
Like, I like to feel like, you know, I want to do well everywhere, you know, which means I do pretty good in most places and I'm great nowhere.
You know, like, no, that's not entirely true.
But the point being, like, you know, there's different, like, I heard your episode with Dan or Larry the Cable Guy.
And, you know, there is some truth to what he was saying, you know, as far as like liberal crowds can be a little more uptight.
But I don't necessarily fully agree with that because some of my favorite shows ever have been in Portland and SF.
And some of it just depends what you're doing.
And I am like, I kind of like flirt with political humor.
You know, like I'm not like right on it anytime.
And I like, I try to.
I have a new bit that I've been working on.
And it's like, I kind of like tell everyone up top.
Like, I just want to, you know, it's like the way I get into it is like, your politics are like your kids.
Like, I don't care about them.
You know, like I care about mine and I'm glad that you have yours.
But my job is like to find the funny in everything.
And like, if you don't make fun of both sides, I'm like, then you just, then you're missing a huge opportunity because both extremes to me are ridiculous.
Like a conservative that can't laugh at Trump.
I'm like, come on, guys.
Like that was to one of me, the ironies.
He's like, you guys elected a reality TV star for president and you have a terrible sense of humor about it.
He's so fun.
Like he's funny sometimes on purpose where you're like, okay, you're funny.
And then other times you're like, like him getting COVID and then doing the drive around.
And you're just like, this is, and what he's doing now, like the rumor that he might like, but he's talking about getting Air Force One during Biden's like speech.
I was like, this is so funny.
And sometimes it's intentional and sometimes it's not.
Like you have to laugh at the ridiculousness that is this human and that he's in charge and that we made him in charge.
So you gotta, you gotta laugh at that.
And you also have to laugh at AOC selling $65 tax the rich shirts.
Like you have to laugh at that.
And I understand what she's coming for because I made a joke about that.
Like, cause my official political stance is like, I don't, not only I don't care about your politics, but that person doesn't care about you.
They don't.
They don't, they don't care.
They're not like, I hate celebrity political culture.
I hate that anyone's popular.
I don't like when they're on covers of magazines.
I don't like when they're on late night shows.
I'm like, I want like anonymous politicians who like, I just, just don't, but they can't be that way because their job is popularity.
Their job is not to be a public servant, right?
Their job is to get a, they don't have a job if they don't get elected.
And so they have to speak in sound bites and try and go viral and have big tweets and all this dumb, like the stuff with Crenshaw and AOC.
I'm like, what are you doing?
Don't you guys have jobs?
Yeah.
You guys just tweet at each other.
You just sub-tweet each other?
Like you're elected officials.
Stop tweeting at each other.
They sit there waiting for the votes and stuff.
Time to kill.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then retweeting your guys' articles or hate tweeting your articles, whatever it may be.
Yeah.
So that's, oh, you guys have Crenshaw coming up?
Oh, yeah, there you go.
Yeah.
Like, I don't, I like, I just don't care in that sense.
But I feel like when you can do the hard work of finding like the funny that like works, like this Trump big that I'm working on right now, when like I was in Raleigh and it was doing well, I was like, that's scary feel.
And then when it can do well in Portland or SF or anything like that, it's like, okay, I just made a good joke here.
And regardless if it, it's like, it's, it's fun to set it up, though, because you're kind of like a cat when they like, when they're deciding where they sit down, they kind of prepare the area.
And so you're kind of doing the emotional work up top because if you're like, Trump sucks or, you know, stupid stuff like that, you're like, you've already put them off, you know.
But if you have something to say on it, then if you can do the work, and that's kind of what the whole angle, I'm not going to do the whole bit, but like the whole angle is that I don't, I think that Trump is like, he's like a professional wrestler at this point.
You know, like he speaks in catchphrases, you know, he gives his opponents nicknames, you know, and he remember who campaigned out to like smoke and lasers and stuff.
Like it's just so funny to me that this is the dude.
Like, I don't know.
It really is a natural next step in where we were in culture.
People act like Trump just came out of nowhere.
It's like it's where we were headed.
I mean, like Obama, like, I remember seeing the stat of like Obama, like, like, broke the record by like 20 times of late-night appearances by any president.
Like, he was in the, you know, he's in the spotlight all the time and doing non-quote-unquote presidential things.
He was just, I mean, depending on where you stand politically, he was just a little less off-putting.
Like, he was just like, he's like, I'm doing this fun thing with Jimmy Fallon.
And you're like, oh, that's cool.
Yeah, exactly.
And then, you know, and then Trump, whatever.
It's like a, I don't know, I mean, I don't care about people's politics, but it is a little bit of like a relief sometimes.
It's like, I don't want to deal with this anymore.
Like, people come up, like, I bet it's good for comedy.
I was like, not stand-up comedy.
Like, it's not, it's not anything that people necessarily even want to hear about a lot.
You go out, you know, for a night, you want to break.
Yeah, yeah.
And it's very divisible, you know.
Like, it is like, I don't buy that we're more divided than everything because we've literally had civil wars.
And we've been divided.
We were very divided before Trump.
Yeah.
Like we weren't.
It's ridiculous reason.
Right, right, right, right.
And I mean, we had literal segregation laws.
We've been literally divided more than we are.
We have killed each other.
Exactly.
Like, this is, we're not more divided.
But it is like, as far as like the consciousness goes, it can be like, there's just so many like triggered words and stuff like that that you're just like, that can make it like a little dicey as far as stand-up goes.
Matt, can you go fetch my MAGA hat?
Yeah.
Don't care.
Yeah.
I'm as equally triggered by a MAGA hat as I am a Starbucks red apron.
So those are the red pieces of clothing that trigger me.
All the people that had clicked to the laugh emoji on this video.
Yeah.
Now you started saying Trump is bad and stuff.
I don't think I said Trump is bad.
I think it's a good thing.
They switched it to the angry.
Did they?
It's happened now.
Is that true?
It's happened.
Call it's not live.
Okay.
It will happen.
Oh, good.
Well, you didn't say he was bad, but you're like, he's a funny guy.
It's some dumb things like driving around.
And they're like, oh, he should have done that.
I mean, should he have?
Yeah.
It was pretty funny when he got all hyped up on steroids.
Regenerone.
It was like a transformer.
He was like, you know, like, this is my secret code.
Regenerate.
What was the amazing, like in front of a gardening company or something?
Oh, the Giuliani one?
The Four Seasons?
It was a Four Seasons, but it's Four Seasons Landscaping.
Landscaping.
Is that an accent that had the accent?
So funny.
So funny.
That's so funny.
I didn't hear about this one.
This is beautiful.
Oh, you didn't hear about that?
Yeah, he thought it was at a Four Seasons and it was at the place called the Four Seasons Landscaping Company.
It was right next to her like an adult.
Honestly, it looks a lot like where I film my special.
It is, it's like it's in a parking lot and it's so funny.
I just like, I don't know, like, I don't know where you guys, I mean, you, you have to think this because you're in the world of political satire.
I can't take politicians seriously because they're not serious people.
Like, some of them are, but a lot of them just signed up for popularity contests.
Probably most of the ones that you don't see a lot.
Right, yeah.
Yeah.
Like, I like you see, even like a shift sometimes from like Beto was a good example of like Beto was like kind of under the radar.
And he was like, you know, if you're liberal, you're like, oh, I think I really like this guy.
Like, he's like, if he was like, and then he's speaking Spanish in the debates.
And even like, you can be like super left.
You're like, this is a little cringy.
Like, this isn't needed.
They have subtitles for this.
You know, like, but that happens sometimes when you, and I feel like, I feel like Crenshaw even may go in that direction.
Like, once you kind of like get established in the limelight, it's like, you're like, oh, well, I have to do the next thing, you know?
And that's like, we live in the world of entertainment.
And so I'm like, I see what you're doing here.
You know, like you're trying to get another big tweet.
You're trying to be in the news, you know, like that's your job is to get votes, you know?
Anyways, all the angry emojis now.
See, I tried to do Beto and Crenshaw.
I tried to be an equal opportunist, which just means nobody likes you.
You tried to pick a team.
Yeah, you do have to pick a team.
And it's like, I told that to my wife, I was like, you know, if my brand was like, I was like, if I just like, if I wasn't Dustin Nickerson, but like we just chose some random brand, like if I was like the liberal Christian or something like that, I'd be huge.
Huge.
Like, but even though I'm not that, but like it is true.
Like it is, you know, it's like, yo, what side do you?
But I feel like stand-ups do a pretty good job of not doing that.
Like they kind of refuse to.
That's always a red flag when you see a stand-up that that's their thing.
Either way.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Megatour.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Patriot, patriot comedian.
Patriot comedy tour.
Yeah.
I feel like it happens more when they get more established in like the celebrity space or that becomes like their brand, like Bill Maher.
You know, like you're like, oh, this is what we've come to expect of you.
You know, but you saw like Mulaney on SNL.
Mulaney's my favorite comic.
And he came out saying like, essentially that the election doesn't matter.
You know, I don't know if you guys saw that, but he said it on SNL.
And it was something, I'm paraphrasing, but it was something along the lines of like, yeah, this was like three weeks ago or four weeks ago before the election result.
And it was like, he said, like, essentially, like, it doesn't matter who wins.
Life will continue.
The rich will continue to prosper and the poor will continue to suffer.
Like, he just, like, it was like, it was, it was like kind of a joke, but also like he kind of took away and he got, and he's been, you know, pretty outspoken.
He has the great bit about the Trump as like a horse in the hospital.
Like, we can't focus on anything.
It's like, this person is sick.
He's like, I understand that, but there's a horse in the hospital.
Like, very funny bit.
And so he's kind of been made fun of Trump before, but like, he, people were giving him, you know, crap for not taking a hard political stance one way or the other.
But I just don't think stand-ups want to be that way for the most part.
It's why you see Chappelle make fun of both sides and Burr make fun of both sides because they're like, it's not my job to do this.
It's my job to point out the ridiculous nature of these things.
Yeah.
Yeah, I can't say that.
We've mentioned a few times.
Like there's like looking at things from that third angle.
There's you could go from the right angle, you can go from the left angle, but if you step out and go from like that third point of view, there's a whole other cache of jokes to be.
Right.
I tried to do one once where, I mean, this is this said off a lot of there was too many buzzwords in the joke where, you know, about how like when you're a moderate, everybody hates you.
But like, what does that even mean?
It's like, well, like, for example, like, I'm pro-gay marriage, but I'm also pro-life, which means I think if you have a, if you think if you have an unwanted pregnancy, you should have to have that baby, but give it to a legally married gay couple.
And I thought that was a great joke.
But everybody hated me by the time I got to the punchline.
I'd alienated the whole crowd.
And it wasn't even like this.
I'm not actually saying my stances.
I'm trying to do a joke about, you know, being hated.
And like, so defend your stance on gay marriage from Leviticus or no?
I love, I love when we tell a joke about Trump or something, and you get, you know, that all the Trump people are sharing it.
Yeah.
And they're like, oh, this is hilarious.
And then they're like, wait a minute.
Yeah.
Was Trump on in on the joke when he tweeted you guys?
I don't think so.
I don't think so either, but I don't know.
So you guys know.
You were assured that he knew it was.
I know that he's aware of that.
He shared it.
That one he shared.
He's like, I can't believe this.
It sounded like your grandpa sharing of Avalon article thinking it was very cool.
I did like a little, I do this dumb little segment called Send News where like I'll just respond to a news.
And I did one on him retweeting you guys.
And I remember people being like, you knew, he knew.
I was like, how can you know that?
How can you, I just thought it was like this, the unraveling of like reality.
You know, like we don't know if the leader of the free world is ironically or genuinely sharing a satire site.
How do you know anything at this point?
It's the full, it's a full breakdown.
I was like, I had like an existential crisis.
I was like, there's no, there's no truth.
I was like, pilot, what is truth?
I don't know.
It was hard to know, you know?
Like, that's, and I feel like that's the real struggle.
And like, it's funny that you guys are in that space because people do not catch the irony sometimes, but like the death of like journalism, essentially, of just like, I don't know what's opinion.
I don't know what's satire.
I don't know what's real.
I don't, there's not a lot of critical thinking anymore.
People just say like, hey, I listen to what Tucker says or I listen to what Matt Ow says.
Like, I don't, there's, it's, I don't know.
And you guys, I listen to what the B said.
Yeah.
Yeah, we have those people.
Yeah.
I got all my news from the Babylon Development.
It used to be, well, it used to be the Daily Show.
Yeah.
And I mean, the Daily Show, in some ways, was like, if the Daily Show was on right now, I would encourage people to watch that over most news.
It is going on, isn't it?
Excuse me, Jon Stewart's Daily Show.
I didn't mean that as a knock.
I don't mean that as a knock as Trevor Noah.
That was unintentional shade.
I really like Trevor Noah.
I just don't feel like they're in the, what I mean by that is they're not in the zeitgeist.
They're not in the when there was a time there where Jon Stewart was everywhere.
Yeah.
And there was like less news comedy and there was also less streaming.
And so like there's no one show that everybody watches anymore, but it used to be the daily show.
The daily show was like, if you wanted news about way more than late night, it was the daily show.
This was the thing.
And so Trevor Noah, like, I just don't see his stuff as much and I don't hear people talking about it as much.
That's all.
From what Friday C, I like.
I didn't, I would never throw shade on Trevor Noah.
I like Trevor Noah.
He won't see this though.
Throwing shade at these extremely successful comedians.
I didn't mean it like, oh, he wants to be on the daily show.
Tell you what, Jerry Seinfeld.
I don't like to be that guy like, well, now that Jon Stewart's gone, it's not as good.
I'm just saying people don't talk about it as much.
That's us and the Adam Ford guys, the guy who just had a board.
By the way, we rent Patrick out from the Daily Stewart.
We rent him out if you need a professional laugher.
Oh, great.
No, I've gotten a couple chuckles out of you guys, and it feels like an applause break.
Yeah.
Because it's, you know, it's, you're not a, you are a jovial bunch, but not loud laughers.
Not, you know.
But then again, you guys, you know, we're all taking steps back.
You went from Larry the Cable guy to me.
So that was a big step back.
But the best laugh we had from him was unintentional.
The camera thing, right?
He started like filming his forehead.
I had a.
And what a great guy.
He's worth like $100 million and he's like walking around filming his forehead.
So funny.
I golfed with him like probably a year and a half ago.
No, no, no.
I didn't know him at the time.
And it was very funny.
You didn't know it was him until later?
I knew it was him.
Well, he would turn into mater every once in a while.
He would hit a good shop and be like, woo!
That's what I'm talking about.
That's how you hit a four-iron right there.
But, you know, you get an opportunity to go golf with Dan Whitney and have a cigar.
You don't say no to that.
But it was very, it was one of the coolest experiences.
And he's just the best dude and very funny.
And he hits the way we played, you take two shots every time.
Every shot you hit twice.
So you just put another ball down, you hit it.
And he would always be like, you know, that second guy's a pretty good golfer.
I mean, it's like a drinking game.
You take two shots.
No, Sports.
Yeah, sports.
But one of my favorite moments of that, so he lives in the middle of nowhere, Nebraska, like outside of Omaha.
That's like Nebraska is exactly.
Yeah, exactly.
Middle of nowhere.
It was either Lincoln or Omaha.
I don't remember.
All of Nebraska is the same.
And so you were out there?
We were out there.
I was doing shows out there and we went and golfed.
And it was a very funny moment.
We're in this like, essentially, like, it's not, it's a, I don't even know if it's a private course, but there's nobody else out there, you know, barely anybody.
And he plays a lot.
And he kind of runs the course.
And we were like.
He was driving and like golf has very specific rules of where you can and can't take the cart.
And he went in an area that was very clear you weren't supposed to go.
And the reason that you don't do it is because it was like wet.
So it was like tearing up the course.
And some groundskeeper saw him and was like, hey, what are you starting?
Larry, what are you doing?
Yell and started driving.
And then he got closer and he was like, oh, Larry.
And it was totally fine.
He's mudding.
Exactly.
It's like, that's the kind of power play that you have right there.
Yeah.
You can drive your golf cart wherever you want, buddy.
You're mater.
It was just so funny to see somebody transform like that.
Like you were going to be hard and then you realized I'm not the alpha here.
I don't want to be the guy that scares him off of our course.
Yeah, true, true.
Well, subscriber launch.
Yeah.
We're going to get some juicy stories about Mark Driscoll.
Getting booted off the stage.
Yeah, no, I don't know that he knows who I am.
Bomb stories.
Bomb stories.
He had some other.
You teased some things there.
Yeah, there was stuff at the beginning.
I think it was some of his bombs.
Getting booted off the stage.
Something else.
You guys love a good bomb story.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
And then, yeah.
Yeah, like who are some comedians you've performed with?
What are they like behind the scenes?
How much cocaine do they do?
All of it.
How many of the pixie sticks do they switch?
How many spices?
All right.
Everybody else, give us money so you can hear this.
Yeah, it's going to be great.
And thanks for coming on.
You can check out the comedy news special special.
It's mentioned overwhelm.
Tell me your guys' thoughts on the special.
It was great.
I heard Dan laughing a lot here.
Listening to it driving was good.
Don't watch it while driving.
Just listen to it.
Yes, it's available on Amazon.
And it makes you feel better.
I've never seen a full layer of the cable guy special either.
Oh, there you go.
It does.
There doesn't.
It doesn't.
Coming up next for Babylon Bee subscribers.
So we got boot off the stage.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
You know, cliches of like, you know, doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.
And I was like, yeah, I still wish that would have never happened.
You got any good Mark Driscoll stories?
I would say one of my favorite comics that I work with regularly is Brad Garrett.
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