Michael Malice Talks Cuties/Conspiracy Theories/Boomercons
This is The Babylon Bee Interview Show. In this episode of The Babylon Bee Interview Show, Kyle and Ethan welcome back again The Bee's favorite anarchist troll: Michael Malice, the author of Dear Reader and The New Right and host of "YOUR WELCOME" and Night Shade. They discuss the new Netflix movie that sexualizes children, which conspiracy theories are aging better than others, and how the depravity and malfeasance of the corporate press is without cessation. You can get more Michael Malice on YouTube, Twitter and Locals. You can catch Michael's previous appearances on The Babylon Bee Podcast here and here. Topics Discussed The sexualization of children, 'Cuties', and the "enemy class (Mainstream figures defending Cuties) Power elites caught up in the Epstein scandal Conspiracy theories like QAnon, PizzaGate, RussiaGate and all the other Gates Public schools/homeschooling People who collect jars of urine Going back to cassette tapes over CDs The case of Breonna Taylor and the ethics of No Knock style raids Meth in energy drinks and drug cartel leaders not names "El Guapo" Ethan solves the prison overcrowding problem The Crossfit CEO situation We all need the space suits from Aliens with light up helmets going forward Government overreach to do anything to solve a problem and not worry about the unintended consequences Internet search engines and mainstream press making it impossible to find alternative views American propaganda using celebrities like the cringe New York PSA Jim Gaffigan's twitter rant about Trump Donating to Biden's campaign for the comedy Conservatives, libertarians, conservatarians, and the essence of the boomercon Subscriber Portion George W Bush was not a Jr. Anarchist cliches Underground libertarian parties Why did Christ have to die? "Losers and suckers" of World War I? Edibles Going to war against Japan in World War II Appealing to standards of objective morality The NEW Ten Questions and they're a bit more intense Also mentioned: Our Birthday Present To Michael Malice. To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans
I just have to say that I object strenuously to your use of the word hilarious.
Hard-hitting questions.
What do you think about feminism?
Do you like it?
Taking you to the cutting edge of truth.
Yeah, well, Last Jedi is one of the worst movies ever made, and it was very clear that Brian Johnson doesn't like Star Wars.
Kyle pulls no punches.
I want to ask how you're able to sleep at night.
Ethan brings bone-shattering common sense from the top rope.
If I may, how double dare you?
This is the Babylon B interview show.
Yes, everybody.
Welcome to the Babylon B interview show.
I'm Kyle.
I'm Ethan.
And with us is everyone's favorite anarchist troll, Michael Malice.
Michael Malice.
He's back.
It is so great to be here.
Michael Mouse, we had him.
He was one of our first guests ever.
We interviewed you from Kyle's garage way back.
Yeah.
Yeah, way long ago, a year ago when we were working in my garage.
Yep.
We're in our third space now.
We were in Kyle's garage, then we're in an office building.
We just moved into our own little spot now.
So, yeah, it's cool.
And now we're doing video.
First video interview with Michael Malice.
Yeah, exciting.
Oh, that's cool.
All right.
So that's all the lame introductory stuff.
Yeah.
So sexualization of children.
How about that, huh?
That's happening a lot on Netflix for one.
They're fine with it.
Yeah, can you give us a brief review of your favorite Netflix movie, Cuties?
Well, this isn't new.
As you guys probably are aware, in 1989, the corporate press has been depraved for a very long time, and I use that term advisedly.
In 1989, there was this huge controversy because the NEA, the National Endowment for the Arts, was funding a Maplethorpe traveling exhibit.
Maplethorpe was a prominent photographer.
And some of the photographs, you know, I do not advise people to Google this.
Some of the photographs in this exhibit were things that were like men shoving bull whips in certain parts of their body.
But if you just read about the exhibits, you would be like, oh, Jesse Helms and all these people are such homophobes that they don't think government money should be spent on these photographs.
You would read the articles, it would sound like Cameron and Mitchell and Modern Family like holding hands on a bench.
And that Jesse Helms is outraged that there's two men on a bench holding hands.
But the other thing that was in this exhibit was child pornography.
There was one four or five-year-old girl flashing her Jenny Taylor at the camera.
And there was also a fully nude naked little boy.
And if you read any articles to this day, Washington Post will talk about it.
It's dazzling and amazing.
If you read any articles to this day, it'll always be described as this triumph of art, free speech over these inbred backwards hillbillies with their stupid values and prejudices.
So this cuties thing is not new.
This has been going on for quite some time.
And I think it behooves, especially conservatives, to not only learn their history, but not take their opponent's framing of history at face value.
So was that a two thumbs up for cuties or two lollipops in a van.
Oh, dear.
So what are some ways conservatives get that wrong, the framing of history?
We do tend to play into, it does to like the left, right's history, and then we kind of play out.
We respond rather than reject.
Right.
So then it would be like, oh, no, it's not homophobia.
Why should the government be funding the arts at all?
Blah, blah, blah.
And then it's like, you go look at, go look at those photographs, challenge that person, as Maxine Waters says, you go up to them in this department store and the gasoline station and say, do you think it is appropriate for government money to be used to have a traveling exhibit where a four or five year old girl is flashing her genitalia at the camera?
Why or why not?
And then when you put it in just those simple terms, they will be like, well, they start flailing about.
You had a reason to me that said, we're about one week away from concern over child sex trafficking being equated with Nazism.
Nazism.
Nazism.
Nazism?
I always said Nazism.
Nazism.
I guess there's only one eye in there.
You just corrected me and then corrected yourself.
Nazism.
Don't ever forget how depraved the enemy class is.
What's the enemy class?
I mean, the same people who are going to call you members of a conspiracy theory for thinking that Jeffrey Epstein exists.
Exists?
I mean, it exists.
Yes.
We're told with a straight face that the idea that there's any sort of international child sex trafficking is a widely discredited conspiracy theory that the only people who hold this are loons or this is being cynically exploited by the Trump administration to further his election campaigns.
While simultaneously, we have video, Amy Rohrbach from ABC News talking about how they had him for a while.
They had Prince, I forget Prince Philip, I think his name is, from the royal family.
They had Clinton.
They had all these prominent celebrities visiting Epstein.
No one knows how Epstein made his money.
He's this Wall Street, you know, huge, huge, extremely wealthy, but they can't find anyone on record.
I think it was Vandy Fair, you know, that far right fringe out with Van Dy Fair, where they said they couldn't find anyone who's done deals with him.
Like, okay, where is he making his money?
One, one theory, and this is perhaps false, is that he would secretly set up these prominent people with underage girls, film them, and then be like, oh, by the way, she's 15.
Now I'm going to be managing your portfolio.
Here's how it's going to be.
I don't know that's true at all.
I'm saying I've seen no more plausible explanation for where this guy got his money.
And they're perfectly content to pretend this didn't really happen.
And, you know, Jolaine Maxwell is being arrested too.
They discuss her on one hand, but then pretend, well, this isn't real with the other.
So it's the other, the thing I'm more concerned about, and I'm not trying to be glitter here, is the assault on our nation's children from the public school system.
I mean, this is a daily assault on children's self-esteem, sense of self-worth, sense of identity.
By design, they're there to break children.
And one of the things I've been berating conservatives for for the last couple of years is you hand over your kids to be raised by your enemies on a daily basis and shrug your shoulders.
This is just unconscionable to me.
Now, I understand some people don't have a choice and that's fair, but at the very least, fight.
Don't just shrug your shoulders.
This is the future of our country.
But what if the kids get homeschooled and then come out weird?
I'd rather they'd be weird than broken.
And actually, I know you're joking.
I used to have that belief that you homeschool these kids.
They come out, you know, all sorts of messed up.
And then I met a ton of homeschooled kids and it blew my mind because it really disturbed me and saddened me what we take for granted from children because these homeschooled kids weren't, they could eye contact, they could talk to adults on their own level, the way they comport themselves with a sense of pride.
And I'm like, wow, like school teaches you, public school especially, that the adults are a source, something to fear, that they're there to kind of judge you.
The teacher judges you and punish you, reward you accordingly.
They're there to make you feel like you don't know anything, that the only way to receive knowledge is from that mediocre person in the front of the room.
These are very, very disturbing things that are by design a function of public school.
You recently tweeted.
In my experience, once you meet homeschooled kids and see how they comport themselves around adults, your contempt and loathing for government schools will be endless.
That's quotable.
Endless contempt and loathing.
Endless contempt and loathing.
Is that how you say that?
You literally never.
Because you're a homeschooler.
And well, I'm a new homeschooler.
We started homeschooling kind of by accident, like just because it was better for our kids.
It wasn't like something we did to be these weird, you know, religious nuts or something.
And we just found it was so much better for their personalities, for them becoming who they are.
And I don't know.
Talk, Michael.
I'm surprised that you guys can be so flippant.
I don't know because I'm not a dad.
So I guess like once you see the difference and you realize what's being done to so many children by design and that it's happening right now as we speak, I find it disturbing to the extreme.
And like that, the fact that there's so many people who will tell you with a straight face still on Twitter and other venues that like it's good that children are bullied because it builds character.
And it's like, what other circumstance on earth other than prison, which schools are, are you literally trapped in a building with someone for years who is under putting you through our marriage, maybe, who is putting you through sustained mental and physical torment.
And I don't just mean your child bullies, I mean the teachers.
They are there to break you and remold you under the euphemism of making good citizens.
So when you see the alternative and how much these kids are more like put together and can hold themselves and you realize, wait a minute, what has you had thought had been the norm is actually by design and is not how kids normally are.
I find it like Rod Piper and they live.
It just traumatizes me.
Yeah, I mean, I guess you kind of go, I mean, we both went to public school.
So, and then I go, on one hand, I came through it and like, I don't know why I turned out the way I did.
I don't know why I didn't turn out ideologically the way they wanted me to.
So I guess I have the hope that my kids won't.
But then on the other hand, I see most of the time, how's it working out?
Not working out so well.
I don't even mean the ideology.
I just mean their personality, how they carry themselves, their sense of self-esteem, their sense of self-worth, you know, their maturity.
These are all things that when you see homeschooled kid versus public school kids are extremely different.
And it's just very shocking and very disturbing to me, as they said.
Right.
I used to get beat up for wearing the wrong shoes.
That never would have happened in homeschool.
Like my mom wouldn't have beat me up for wearing the wrong, well, maybe, but not the same way.
She'd buy me the cuteest shoes because she's poor, dirt poor.
And you had to, we'd be having Nike's Reebok so you'd be able to get picked on bad in my school.
True.
That was an anecdote.
I found that a lot of the public school thing is like you are local teachers.
Like I lucked out and got some really good teachers that taught us good history.
And we learned the horrors of communism.
I lucked out and got teachers that taught history.
I mean, I have a teacher that I've told the story before that taught us the horrors of Nazism and communism.
And, you know, I don't know if that's being taught today.
So, I think a lot of it is that we had a good experience, like you're saying, and then we just assume that that's still happening, you know.
Well, I don't know.
I mean, it turned out okay.
I turned out all right, yeah.
And I don't know why I did, but also on the weirdness thing, I tell my kids this: like the worst thing to be in junior high is weird, but in all of life, being weird is pretty great.
It's like one of the best attributes you can have.
And if you can make it through junior high being kind of weird, then you're kind of a bad donkey.
Sorry, you're gonna have to flower about that.
But yeah, so I encourage embrace your weirdness, children.
Unless it leads to jars of pea, like something.
I mean, there's, yeah, there's always a line.
There's a line.
Ethan's always right on the line.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, wait, you're talking about my jars of pea.
Yes, I am.
He just made a reference to it because I was on his show and I that was weird.
I had never even met the man, and I'm confessing to like living in an attic with jars of my own urine by like 40 minutes in.
I don't know.
He just kept asking me more probing questions.
Somehow, like a new line sight, this guy had jars of pea.
I just look like he has that look about him.
That's my Christian contemporary band.
Jars of P. Porpoises, donkey.
What the heck?
You're making it way worse.
That was the song as the old Jars of Clay song.
Well, yeah, right.
I don't know what we're talking about.
Jars of Clay, you listen.
Is that Jars of Clay back there in that CD collection you got behind you?
Heck no.
You know how Jars looking?
They were pretty good.
They were almost as good as Nirvana.
What do you got back there?
I got a hundred.
Do a random.
Pick a random.
There you go.
Nice.
Devo.
Track number one.
We're all Devo.
Track number three, Mongoloid.
Track number four, D Stiff.
So you're hanging in there with the CDs.
I appreciate that about you.
Yeah, you listen to them.
What am I supposed to do with them?
I have so many, and some of them are rare.
I don't know what to do with them.
I have mine in a giant binder that I never open.
Yeah, I'm not.
I don't know.
I can't get rid of them because I'm a hoarder.
Not like bodily fluids hoarder, but just stuff I bought hoarder.
I think more context to that.
The hipsters.
There isn't.
There's no context that makes that better.
You know, the hipsters have moved on to cassette tapes, and now cassette tapes are cool, like vinyl ones.
Oh, wait, vinyl cassette tapes?
No, vinyl was cool.
Oh, vinyl was.
And then cassette tapes became cool in retro.
So maybe.
Vinyl's back now.
I just heard that vinyl is outselling CDs now.
Oh, I'm sure it is.
Because if you're going to buy the physical thing, why not get the big cool one?
Yeah.
Yeah.
For sure.
This is not the kind of topic for Michael Mouse, though.
I don't know.
You know, we need like, you know, corporate press.
Do you hate cops?
Hey, yes.
He just had to get some controversy.
I don't know.
Yeah.
Very much so.
So, yeah.
We got the whole Breonna Taylor incident.
You've talked a lot about that.
And I know that's one of the more controversial.
You know, my understanding is it was like a, what was it?
You don't even know knock.
You just jump and just go in without even knocking.
How is that allowed?
Yeah.
It's unconscionable, even for the point of view of the cops.
Yeah.
If you know if you have to break down someone's door after midnight, you should expect them to open fire.
It's unconscionable.
The only circumstances I can think about is if there's a hostage situation, a child is in imminent danger, or someone is tied up or something like that.
That's sure.
You don't announce yourself.
But oh no, they're going to flush drugs down the toilet.
What you do and what they do do is they turn off the water supply.
And at the same time, no one's life is worth a kilo of blow or a pound of weed, neither a cop nor a citizen.
Actually, that's not true.
There's lots of people whose lives are worth a lot less, but metaphorically speaking.
So it's, it, it's, it's, it's, it, you know, they talk about it's, it's amazing how we're trained.
And I'm glad I can talk to Christians about this because you do have respect for human life.
We're trained that if you call something a war, you can do whatever you want.
And like, if a lot of people become orphans and or, you know, widows, well, it's a war.
And it's like, you don't just get to say this word and then like really bad things happen to an entire nation and you're like, I don't know.
So, and to and to domesticate that and be like, well, it's a war on drugs.
What do you expect?
People not to be murdered?
It's like, yes, that is what I expect.
I expect nonviolent people should not be afraid of the Gestapo coming into their house in the middle of the night and guns blazing.
And I've made this line before.
I think it was on your show.
That even Stalin had the courtesy to knock.
You know, that was the whole thing under communism.
You were scared to knock in the middle of the night and they were going to come.
And some people are saying on my Twitter, they go, well, maybe she shouldn't have broken the law.
That's not what due process means.
That's not what freedom means.
If a cop decides you've broken the law, they don't get to come into your house with their buddies after midnight with their guns.
Yeah.
So you don't have to have a thin blue line tattoo.
Is that what you're saying?
I just had this number on my forehead I was born with 999.
I don't know what it means.
Sad.
Yeah, I'm very glad that increasingly conservatives are like, this is not right.
It's not worth anyone's life having some drugs.
What about a no-knock raid on Netflix's headquarters to round up everybody who had anything to do with QTs?
Well, QTS was French.
Didn't they just import it and make it?
You know, the marketing people, the people who imported it, all that.
Would you be in favor of that?
I think, in all seriousness, the problem with this child trafficking is it's international.
So Netflix is really kind of a non-player here.
There was an article, I believe, the New York Times.
And because none of us think in these terms, it's hard to kind of wrap our heads around it because it's so depraved.
Where there were some, I think it was FBI or SCIA, you know, a division meant to track this down.
And they didn't even have the resources to track down people who are making videos of infants being assaulted.
And we don't, if we can wrap our heads around Lolita, maybe, you know what I mean?
Like a 10-year-old, an infant?
This is pure demon.
Whatever the adjective is from hell.
Hellish.
Demonic.
Yeah.
Demonic.
Yeah.
Satanic.
We don't understand this kind of evil.
So are you a Pizzagate believer?
Pizzagate aged better than Russia Gate.
If you look at those emails.
If you look at those emails, they're clearly not talking about pizza.
Now, I don't think necessarily talking about children, but if you're emailing someone who says the pizzas were really upset today, it's code for something.
Well, I don't know.
Did you see his Instagram, by the way?
Whose Instagram?
James Elisantis, the guy who ran that pizza place.
It's literally like some of the photos were like of a six-year-old girl scotch taped to a desk.
So it's like, okay, I don't necessarily think that this is, you know, child sex predation, but it's like, give me even a weird explanation for what this is because I don't understand it.
Maybe it's a kid's YouTuber.
Have you ever seen those YouTube videos for kids?
They're like taping people up and well, yeah, there's a whole controversy where these theories are coming from.
They're all very, very weird.
Elsa gate, they call it.
Elsa gate.
You got all these gates.
You're at the Gatopedia.
You know all the gates.
I believe in private property, so you need as many gates as possible.
Chesterton's fence.
Yeah.
Yes.
GK Chesterton.
So are you Q?
Who's Q?
Are you Q?
What's anything about Q?
Can anybody talk what QAnon is?
Because we don't know what it is.
We're completely lost.
At this point, we're too afraid to ask.
I think Q is Baron Trump.
Wait, Q is a person?
Q is supposed to be a person.
Isn't there like James Bond, a guy, a Q person?
Yeah, but it's not the same.
It's not the same thing.
Yeah.
So I'm hesitant to discuss this because I'm going to get a lot of flack about it from very, very, very bright people who have thought out ideas and not a surplus of emojis and hashtags in their Twitter handles.
But let me just say there is a theory based on QAnon, who is supposedly a covert deep state operative who is dropping these messages on places like 4chan and predicting, supposedly, things that are going to be happening, which is all leading up to Donald Trump unveiling a huge pedophile ring within the federal government and mass arrests.
So like dropping these messages.
Right.
So they'll be like in code and then I'll be like, you know, on April 14th, watch the white rabbit.
And then April 14th, something happens with the energizer and it's like, well, I'll see.
Well, it's a pick rabbit, but it's basically the same.
So it's just, it's, it's, it's just, and, and they're very, very intense and very, very driven.
And I think they're very, very delusional because I'm very skeptical that any of these horrible people are going to be held to account.
So it's some guy.
It could be like a 12-year-old.
You don't even know who it is.
And they're posting these messages and then people are deciphering them.
And there's just a big thing around it.
That's what that is?
I don't even know that.
So where do they post this stuff?
Is this like 4chan?
I know.
4chan was one of the major sources.
I don't know if that's still there.
The other thing is, because QAnon, obviously the name Anon is anonymous, there's nothing to preclude anyone from posting a thing and saying that they're QAnon.
So it could be a bunch of guys.
It's like Banksy.
Yeah, that's what I was wondering.
If there was like one account that this is Q.
But it's like a random.
4chan doesn't have like a username thing.
It's not like a Facebook.
We could do some.
We could make up some and post.
Yeah.
Got a message from Q.
Yeah.
Or we could just post some.
See what happens.
Yeah, let's do it.
Let's do it.
Hey, you can't write Q without you.
That's right.
You only need one letter.
Like Shaq.
Shaq doesn't have a U.
Yeah, it does.
It's Shaquille.
Oh, it's short for a good point.
I've been owned with facts and logic.
I thought modern day Ben Shapiro.
But Ben Shapiro is modern day.
That's the joke.
Oh, okay.
I've been owned once again.
So what's the answer on this drug war thing?
Do we just legalize drugs, make meth lounges on every corner?
Do Starbucks and buy heroin at 7-Eleven?
We have that already.
We have meth lounges.
They're just legal pharmaceuticals.
I mean, meth is speed, methanatorol are the same.
It's just one you approve of legally and one you disapprove of legally.
So, you know, 7-Eleven, you can buy narcotics right now.
It's just narcotics that the government approves of.
And I think, as most people increasingly are aware, one of the big issues with drug abuse is dosing.
You don't know what you're getting, how pure it is.
And if you're taking, like, look at look at beer, right?
If one day you're having a beer and you have a beer every day, and then the next day it's moonshine, but you taste the same, you can't tell the difference, you're dead.
You don't want to die of alcohol poisoning, you just have no way of determining the alcohol content.
So it's the same thing with these hard drugs.
It's not that these addicts want to die, it's that they take a certain amount, and then the next day they get really good stuff and it's pure, it's not cut, and then they're dead.
Or the heroin fentanyl, which is extremely disturbing.
I find it very sad how many people have no sympathy for those who make different choices for them or even bad choices.
And it's like, well, if you don't want to die, you shouldn't do drugs.
I'm like, I'm not glad to write people off from the human race just because they're doing drug addicts.
I mean, they're hurting themselves a lot and it's awful, but it's not as bad as let's suppose a child sex predator.
You know, everything like, you know, when a thing becomes legalized, one of the things they do is they make energy drinks out of it, like weed.
They made weed energy drinks.
We had Coca-Cola.
That's how Coca-Cola got his name.
So wait till they start making meth energy drinks.
Method wild.
Meth star.
Methster.
Monster.
Meth.
Yeah, Methster.
I get you.
Methstar.
Methar.
Or like Rockstar, the Rock takes on a new meaning.
Crack rock star.
Crackstar.
Crack rock star.
On mellow yellow.
Mellow yellow.
On mellow.
You just drink one can of it and you were just like, ah, strip off your house is really flip over a cop car.
Just eat a puppy.
It's going to be crazy.
But that's better.
That's still less violence than the actual war on drugs.
So, right.
I'm hearing you out.
I started watching those documentaries.
They got all these crazy documentaries about the war on drugs and El Guapo.
Or no, that's not one of them.
El Chapo.
All these guys.
Ethan has trouble separating fiction from reality sometimes.
It's a jar, it's a bathroom.
El Guapo.
I watch every yellow jar, so it's hard to see TV.
It's like Plato's cave, urine.
Everything's in sepia.
Yeah.
Yeah.
To see the extent of the violence that goes on in these in like Columbia and stuff.
It's there's one hearing about it kind of was one thing to actually watch what has happened.
Like it's insane.
What about just being arrested and going to prison?
I mean, let's suppose someone is a drug abuser.
Like, who's that help?
It's not cheap.
I mean, I don't think someone who's a drug abuser, even a burglar, supposedly steal from their family.
Like they do really horrible things.
Is it really beneficial to anyone that they're locked in a room with the rapist and a murderer?
Is this the same phenomenon?
I don't think so.
Just give them gloves that give them no more fingers or something because they can't steal as easy.
Just imprison their hands.
That's what they used to, right?
We can just create smaller prisons for things.
I'm not going to get in detail.
Like a rapist.
Yeah.
So there's all of them.
We could create much smaller, more efficient prisons that actually attach to people.
Look at the personal computer.
ENIAC was the size of a prison cell and now it's on a laptop.
Yeah, there you go.
We just solved the drug war.
We solved so many problems.
So since you're anti-cop, your Black Lives Matter, right?
Like if we were to.
So we're going to raise one or the other.
Me and Ethan are going to raise our fists and say Black Lives Matter.
We're going to force you to do it.
Do it.
Black Lives Matter.
You're racist.
Black Lives Matter is the white people's stuff.
Did you hear that the guy who founded CrossFit got kicked out of his company?
Because he's like, we're not doing this.
This is for white people.
And they kicked him out.
Were they all white people?
Absolutely amazing.
I mean, it's cross-spiritually.
Yeah.
So we can't get you.
Spiritually, we can't get you to say Black Lives Matter and raise your fist.
Man.
I'm not a big fist guy.
Oh.
What do you raise?
I was going, you raise your ire.
So what do you think about all the masks and plagues?
Yeah, you're not wearing a mask, sir, and it's making us feel unsafe.
Oh, I am.
I wear a mask of human skin.
I already know that the next time I do one of these podcasts, like in person, like Tim Pool or something like that, I already want to go there and hazmat suit.
Oh, man, that'd be amazing.
That'd be awesome.
Or like that stuff.
I think it was Aliens where they had the one where there's like the light inside of it.
Yeah.
And they're breathing like North Vader.
Like, it's really, I want to figure out how much one of those costs.
I think this max stuff is nonsensical at this point, especially for young people.
I think it's like AIDS.
If you know you're part of a population that is especially vulnerable, it is your responsibility to take precautions because there's no, you have to assume the other people aren't.
And you can't expect everyone, you're playing Russian roulette with your own life.
And I think people who are at risk know this.
I think I was very tired a couple of weeks ago.
I'm in Brooklyn.
And I was talking to my friends and I said, maybe I haven't just clicked.
Maybe I have COVID.
Fatigue is one of the symptoms.
And my friend goes, it's not possible.
We haven't had it in like two months in New York.
Like, okay, whatever.
We're talking about.
And I look, New York has like 100 cases a day and like no deaths for two months.
So the fact that De Blasio is still having the city in many ways on lockdown is unconscionable.
And it is harder and harder for my anarchist.
100 cases a day in New York?
That's like nothing.
I think it's like 100k.
I know.
I know.
New York City.
And it's harder and harder for my anarchist brain to empathize with people who see political action as anything other than pure criminality.
What do you think?
Because this mom and pop sorry interrupt you, but the mom and pop businesses are the first ones to get hurt.
The immigrants are the first to get hurt.
You come to this country, you have a little restaurant, dry cleaner, fruit stand, whatever it is.
And you don't have six months to sit on your butt and not get revenue.
It's horrible.
What do you think is the motivation, like the idea that if the government is overplaying its hand, I, you know, you get kind of accused of being a conspiracy theorist or being anti-government if you're like, oh, they're just telling us it's all for our own protection.
But what is the ulterior motivation in your point of view if they're actually being corrupt?
I think it's not that they're corrupt.
I think they're responding to incentives.
And there is a huge incentive for them to overreact because if there's any deaths, it's going to be blamed on them.
So let's try to shut down all economic activity.
It's a lot easier to hand wave away a depression than it is to hand away mass death.
So let's completely err on the absurd side of caution.
And then we can say with a straight face, we did everything we needed to do to fight this pandemic and never have to worry about the consequences.
I also tweeted this out not long ago, and it's very disturbing for me to say this, but I predict it's going to be like 2023 or 2024 when we all start to have the conversation about what consequences these politicians have to have personally and what that would entail.
Because until people face personal consequences for their choices, they will absolutely continue to do the same thing.
And why wouldn't they?
Yeah.
Yeah, there's no situation where they pay a price for if they over whatever.
Well, that word is.
I mean, it's a total difference.
It's just a difference in ideology in that a lot of these politicians, they just feel like they have to do something.
You know, you see this with the gun control debate where some, you know, there's a school shooting and they're just like, oh, ban.
And then they just like throw a dart at a board.
Ban the, you know, barrel shroud, the shoulder thing that goes up.
Yeah.
Or whatever.
So.
Well, it's not even that.
I mean, I don't know if some people are old enough to remember after Timothy McVeigh blew up Oklahoma City, the building there, they started talking about gun control.
There are no guns used.
He used fertilizer.
It was a bomb.
So having an agenda means you have the same gun control.
Yeah.
Having an agenda means you have the same conclusion regardless of the data that's coming in.
And the conclusion always is we want your guns.
Well, the best argument against gun control is gun proliferation, which is thankfully happening at a very high rate in this country.
Well, I, for one, look forward to the future when we just have Walmart and Amazon and all the small businesses are gone.
I don't have to be in one of their militaries.
And there's mandatory conscription into the Walmart Army when you're in tier 19.
The anarchist utopia.
See, you dummies, you want to choose between Democrats and Republicans.
A free society is choosing between Amazon and Walmart.
I think Kyle's more.
He's an anarchist, kind of.
I'm close.
He's pretty close.
I just don't think that deeply.
Scared to.
I'm scared to go there.
So what about this?
I actually haven't seen this, but I guess Paul Rudd did like a public service announcement about wanting you to wear a mask.
He's dressed as a skateboarder.
Yeah.
Did you like that?
Did you think that was that good for our money to be going towards that kind of government ad?
I think it's very smart on their part because it works in two ways.
One is this isn't disturbing.
This is someone who we all write is universally liked.
There's this meme about how he doesn't age, which is true.
He ages very well.
So they're playing on that.
And it's like, oh, it's silly.
But it's also useful because instead of the criticism, they add being this is creeping totalitarianism and disturbing, you look at it, you roll your eyes, and you think, oh, it's cringe.
So if they look at it in that regard, you don't realize, wait a minute, let me take a second back.
I've got my negative reaction.
But then you think about it, you go, oh, this is much worse than cringe.
This is really almost Soviet, you know, where they rope in these popular figures and use them to promote their propaganda.
And I mean that quite literally.
Yeah, it feels like progressives always kind of see themselves as like these rebels or we're the subculture.
We're going to go take back the power.
And it's like, well, you guys own Hollywood and the government institutions and all the major corporations.
You know, I logged on to Facebook and it's like, click over here and see what you can do to help fight climate change.
You know, there's a big message on this.
Have you ever tried to Google the conservative view on a thing?
It's practically impossible.
Like, I'll try to look up a news story and try to get the other side.
It'll try to be the criticism of this.
It keeps bringing it back to the left-leaning style.
It's really hard to find.
I did a piece in one of my shows.
There was a bill passed in South Carolina, Louisiana, one.
There was a pro-life bill.
And the pro-choice people were up in arms.
And they had a quote from the woman running maybe the local Planned Parenthood or whatever, Parents for Choice, whatever it was.
And she said why this bill was wrong.
There was never a quote from the pro-life person.
Like, if this bill passed, I want to know what is the reason for it.
Like, what is the other perspective?
And there wasn't even a pretense of having it there, which I'm sure is not new for you guys to understand.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Well, as I always say, the depravity and malfeasance of the corporate press is without cessation.
Amen, brother.
Your lips.
Don't we all copyright 2020?
Babyloni.
What do you think of I signed a rider?
Everything I say in here becomes your property now.
Darn it.
I got sung by the bee again.
Sad.
That these things more than once.
The big June Gaffigan blow up on Twitter.
What do you think of that?
I didn't.
Oh, when he went full TDS?
Yeah.
I think.
What made it snap?
I think there's a lot of people who have been trained to believe that if they parrot the correct things, people will listen to them and or give them accolades.
And if they keep doing it for months and they keep getting mocked, the output isn't what they were promised.
This causes them a lot of psychological stress.
I'm telling you, I'm up here.
I'm telling you what to do.
I'm telling you what to think.
This is as obvious as night and day.
How are we even having this conversation?
The man is clearly a white nationalist, Nazi, very pro-Israel Nazi, hardcore designist, blah, blah.
And it's a, it's, it's, and the fact that you don't even feel comfortable defending your point of view because you shouldn't have to.
And then when people are like, no, you're wrong, it's, it's distressful, I think.
I'm guessing.
Yeah, it's just bizarre because he's always kind of come off as, and he's even said this, like he's seen, oh, I got friends on the right.
I got friends at Fox News.
Like, it's just, and then the, yeah, I just think he, I'm just curious what drove that sudden.
I think he, I think they're probably also scared that Trump's going to get reelected.
Yeah.
I think they're telling themselves, all right, I'm going to white knuckle this for four years.
This is a historical mistake.
Hillary was terrible.
We blew it in 2016.
I have faith in America.
America is going to do the right thing.
They're going to vote this idiot out of office.
We can pretend it never happened.
We go back to normal.
And when that doesn't look to be the case, given that they nominated weekend at Bernie's, that's going to also freak you out because that wasn't the deal.
The deal is you get four years, then we forgive you for your stupidity and mistake in electing this jerk.
And then you do what you're told, like good peasants.
And then we move on with our lives.
So it's kind of like when you're in an abusive relationship and the wife all of a sudden doesn't want to get hit.
You don't understand because that was the deal.
I get to do what I want to you and you're terrible and you accept it.
And now you're telling me you're not terrible.
I shouldn't put my hands on you.
This doesn't make sense.
This was the plan.
It's a similar situation, I think.
Do you vote?
Who are you voting for?
Trump?
Trump?
I don't believe in voting.
No, I'm using it.
Did you die in 2020?
No?
I do not.
I gave money to Biden.
You did?
Oh, yeah, because he's such a source of humor.
I'm like, during the primaries, I'm like, I want to see him literally pooping his pants on stage and the corporate press telling you how this is like how this is healthy.
Well, you're getting your money's worth.
Oh, yeah, I certainly am.
Did you see both him and Harris yesterday refer to the Harris administration?
Oh, he did too?
Yeah, within hours of each other.
They both did it.
Oh, gosh.
It's amazing.
Oh, golly.
Wow.
You know, I'm looking forward to the corporate press once again showing their malfeasance and depravity by like commenting on Kamala Harris's shoes.
Yeah.
You know, historical.
Every single thing she does is historical.
Wait, remember when Obama wore a tan suit?
It was only Republican sites who flipped out.
And how dare they, these backwards Republicans.
Oh, she's in Timberlands.
My God, what have we done to deserve such an amazing edgelord?
Kamala Harris, edgelord.
Yeah.
What's that?
What's an edge lord?
Well, I don't think she's an edgelord facetiously, but an edgelord is someone who feels the need to very much try to be edgy on an online context, and it's often embarrassing.
We should have gotten Michael to teach us about all these internet glossary, like a glossary of Twitter.
Yeah, yeah, that's a good idea.
Have you ever gotten ratioed?
Every day, right?
No, I never get ratioed.
I've gotten ratioed once.
I don't remember what it was.
It was the first time was like all the boomer cons came at me after something I said, which was satire.
And I got you guys must get ratioed much more than me.
We've almost never gotten ratio.
Maybe one time I made fun of Catholics and they ratioed us.
What about the one, that big, this Chick-fil-A one with the...
No, even that was, it went huge.
The article went huge.
We always get more shares than we get.
They're not compiled by the woke Christianity.
The woke is a very small crowd compared with ours.
They act big.
They got a big voice.
They're just loud.
I remember you saw one.
I was like, oh my gosh, Michael.
Why would you say it?
It's true.
But why would George Floyd?
It was like, oh, no.
Oh, no.
I had a warning label on that one.
I said, the next tweet will be a troll.
Please feel free to retweet it.
And then it says something like, I'm just saying that if George Floyd had never done drugs, he wouldn't be in the situation.
He'd still be alive today or something like that.
Something like that.
Yeah.
At the very moment, nobody's satire.
Satire.
Satire.
You got to put it in parentheses.
Let me find the exact one.
It was really funny.
People got upset.
So you probably get a lot of boomers that follow you because you mock the left.
And then they're upset that I'm not enough of a patriot in those words.
And then you slam back at them.
Yeah.
I don't.
I stop because engaging with boomer cons is self-trolling.
Oh, this is the one.
This is the tweet.
6,000 likes.
Let's be honest.
None of this would be happening if George Floyd just obeyed the law, the law.
So what's the ratio on that one?
No, it's 6,000 likes, 600 comments.
Well, how many retweets?
1,000.
Oh, so not ratioed at all.
Not ratioed at all.
Wow.
What's a boomer con?
A boomer con.
Sounds like a convention.
We have like a little definition of a ton of people.
Boomer con 2020 time.
Everybody come on down.
A boomer con is someone who thinks telling a college student about Ronald Reagan and that Martin Luther King was a Republican and the Democrats are the real racist is going to change their minds and save this country.
If you feel the need to tell people that we live in a republic, not a democracy, you might be a boomer con to put my Jeff Foxworthy hat on.
Do you have a bunch of these Jeff Foxworthy things?
If you think telling an African-American doctor that they're in a plantation is going to get them to vote for Trump, you might be a boomer con.
What about if you've got like a don't tread on me sticker on your truck and a thin blue line sticker?
No, no, that is not the boomer con.
Oh, that's not a boomer con?
Oh, no, that can just be a conservative or a conservatarian.
I'm trying to, wait, what is the essence of the boomer con?
That's what I'm trying to say.
I think the essence of the boomer con is a complete inability to understand how their enemy operates and a complete inability to persuade and a focus on being frustrated and give speeches at the drop of a hat.
Like if you constantly point out that the press is being hypocritical, what happened?
When I remember when the press was objective, the press was never objective.
This isn't hypocrisy.
They have an agenda.
They know what they're doing.
And if you just kind of shrug your shoulders and like throw a tantrum, that's a very boomer con behavior.
So maybe is it like an assumption that there was this norm?
Like everything was good, everything was good until recently, and then the left ruined it?
Correct.
It's like, oh, Hollywood, we need to take back Hollywood.
Hollywood was run by literal communists.
What are you talking about?
Reagan cut his teeth by weeding out communists from Hollywood in like the 30s and 40s.
Not when you were a kid.
Me and Kyle actually got invited to be featured guests at BoomerCon.
Featuring Kyle and Ethan of the Babylon Bee keynote speakers.
On another note, it's called Taking Back America.
That's shiver when I hear the terms.
Make sure to talk about Lincoln a lot.
Yeah.
So is the Lincoln project run by BoomerCons?
No, the Great Blood Project is run by syphilitic grifters.
Sephalitic grifters.
There's so many great phrases.
That sounds like you should write a book.
That's like something Tigger would say.
Cephalita Grifters.
What's the wonderful thing about Cephalida Grifter?
Cephalita Grifter.
Wonderful thing.
Michael, do you want people to buy your books or follow you on Twitter or anything?
Yes, I do.
YouTube.com/slash Michael Malice official, Michael Malice on Twitter.
But actually, in all seriousness, Dave Rubin, who I know you guys are at least somewhat friendly with, he has a site on malice.locals.com.
And this is a much better alternative, Facebook, because you have a community of people that you know aren't going to flip out and you're going to have a good time.
And it's kind of taking the place of Facebook from me and many other creators.
So Scott Adams is on there.
I'm on there.
So just go to malice.locals.com and we have fun making fun of the jerks, including myself.
They invited us.
We'll have to join.
Got to do it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
Everybody else, we're throwing you out the helicopter.
And subscribers, we're going into the subscriber portion.
We're going to take Michael in the subscriber portion and bring him to Jesus.
Let's do it.
All right.
Coming up next for Babylon Bee subscribers.
These are two types of child exploitation.
The rated R version is cuties.
The rated PG version is Gridathunder.
Yeah, what's your biggest anarchist position?
What's the closest you get to being?
Oh, I did shoot McKinley.
Can I make my cat though?
Do you make any other kinds of cock deals other than Molotov?
Well, he's on Edibles right now.
We start talking about God with him.
We'll have a look at him.
It never made sense to me.
Why did Christ have to die to redeem mankind?
Like, who's putting that burden on God?
Why can't God just snap his fingers?
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Kyle and Ethan would like to thank Seth Dylan for paying the bills, Adam Ford for creating their job, the other writers for tirelessly pitching headlines, the subscribers, and you, the listener.