In the seventeenth episode of The Babylon Bee podcast, editor-in-chief Kyle Mann and creative director Ethan Nicolle interview lib-owner-in-chief Candace Owens. They talk about her recent run-in on C-Span, children being used as political props, marriage advice, and more. At one point in the interview, Owens is left literally speechless. Kyle and Ethan also go over recent news stories in front of their first live studio audience: A guy named Joe. This episode is brought to you by InsideTheStreet.com Enter the promotional code NOPETOSNOPES for your two-week free trial. Stories of the week: Story 1 - Evangelical Leaders Ask Trump Which One Of Them Will Betray Him During Impeachment Proceedings Story 2 - Prodigal Son Kicked Back Out After Old Tweets Surface Also referenced: Homeless man reject charity after searching Twitter history Story 3 - Democrats Introduce Debate Strategy Of Holding Up Small Child Whenever Their Positions Are Challenged Interview: Candace Owens Referenced video of Candace at white supremacy hearing on C-Span Love mail: podcast reviews! Please, leave us your own review on iTunes! Paid-subscriber portion: Ethan tells his disgusting ear-drop story, then Kyle and Ethan read unused or yet-to-be-published headlines Become a paid subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans
In a world of fake news, this is news you can trust.
All the news that's fit to cover, unless it makes people mad.
You're listening to the Babylon Bee with your hosts, Kyle Mann and Ethan Nicole.
Yes, this is the Babylon Bee Podcast, and I'm Kyle Mann.
And I am Ethan Nicole.
Welcome.
And we are coming directly to your ear canal.
We're in your ears right now.
Oh, it's hairy in here.
Wow, you need to clean that place out.
Clean these things.
Goodness gracious.
I heard you're actually not supposed to stick Q-tips in your ears.
Yeah, that doesn't stop me.
I use Q-tips constantly.
It feels so good.
Yeah, you got to get something in there.
And stuff does come out.
This is getting gross.
This is a disgusting podcast.
This is quality.
This is a quality content that our subscribers enjoy.
You ever seen those, my hippie roommate I used to have?
He had those cone things that you light the end of it, and then it's supposed to suck all this gunk out of your ears.
What the heck?
But it's like a lie.
Apparently, it's just the thing's melting and it's fake.
It's totally fake.
It's like a placebo effect.
Yeah, it's something to trick hippies.
There's a lot of things out there to trick hippies.
Yeah, essential oils.
Yeah.
That's mainstream hippie tricking.
I've done the lie on your side and you get the little drops that go in there.
Does that work or is that a lie?
Man, I have a really gross story.
I'm going to tell this story in the subscriber portion.
Remind me that eardrop story.
It's disgusting, but it's amazing.
Okay.
Well, we've got a great show for you today that's going to, it only goes uphill from here.
That's right.
And because we're not going to talk about any more bodily functions.
Until the subscriber portion.
Yeah.
I can't promise, but I don't think we'll talk about any more bodily functions.
So we drove out to Los Angeles, which is, I don't know, an hour from us.
And we got.
If there's not bad traffic.
If there's not bad traffic, but we timed it okay.
And we got to interview Candace Owens, who is a controversial figure.
The conservative firecracker.
The conservative firebrand.
The lib owner.
The owner of the libs.
She owns many libs.
She's got a whole garage.
She's got a 24-lib garage.
And did we make a joke about that?
I think we actually made a joke about that in the interview.
So I've just doubled up the joke and ruined the punchline.
And then it was a very good interview.
And then we headed back and got some delicious chicken kebabs.
At Zanku chicken.
If you're ever in SoCal, eat at Zanku.
It's my favorite chicken in the whole world.
There's a gentleman that's sitting next to me right now.
He's agreeing with everything I say.
It's awesome.
He's nodding at the chicken kebabs.
And so we actually had a walk-in visitor this morning from Gateway Seminary.
So we're going to let him say hi real quick.
The Holy Spirit let him here.
Why don't you introduce yourself and say hello?
Hi, my name is Joe B. Kim from Gateway Seminary, and I serve in the Office of Enrollment.
All right.
He enrolls people.
Yeah, and apparently right now I'm in the Office of Entrollment.
Hey, that's pretty good.
Yeah, that's our office, the Office of Entrollment.
You're hired.
So we always like hearing from fans.
And Joe emailed me and said, can I come by and say hello?
He made the three-hour drive out to see us.
So this is our live studio audience.
So we don't even need a laugh track this time.
Yeah.
We'll just have me laugh really loud when there it is.
Perfect.
Every time we read one of our own hip lines.
All right.
So we got stories of the week.
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All right, let's get to our stories of the week.
Every week, there are stories.
These are some of them.
Evangelical leaders ask Trump which one of them will betray him during impeachment proceedings.
Have we received this much anger on a post in the history of your posts?
Oh, absolutely.
But this was the most angry I've seen people in recent times.
Actually, we got a lot of hate on the one.
People loved it too.
Yeah, we talked about, we'll talk about it in a little bit, Greta Thunberg.
Is it Thunberg?
That's how you say that?
Joe, how do you pronounce it?
Yeah, Joe.
He doesn't know.
He's smarter than us.
It's Swedish, right?
So what's a Swedish way to say that?
Greeter.
You got to say it like death metal.
Is that Swedish?
I don't know.
The only Swedish I know is Sven from an Instimpi, the brother.
Oh, what about Sven?
Oh, yeah.
And Frozen, the guy, the guy that owns the shopping.
Did you pay attention to Frozen?
Come on.
My daughter watches it on Loop.
Excellent film.
It's called White Noise to me.
Excellent film.
So, yeah.
So anyway, the evangelical leaders are asking Trump, surely it is not I who will betray you, Lord.
So I think people were upset that we put Trump's head on Jesus' head.
Yeah.
No, yeah.
And they're like, it's the sacred supper, the Lord's Supper.
Yeah, this is out of bounds.
Out of bounds.
It's weird because I didn't even like that far removed from that it didn't even hit me that that would be offensive to do that.
Yeah, sometimes when I publish a post, I'm like, this one's gonna upset some people.
Like, I was actually more worried about the one we did with Chick-fil-A, like putting a sweater on two chicken breasts.
Fully clothed.
Fully clothed Chick-fil-A chicken breasts.
Yeah.
For the more moderate diner.
Yeah.
That one I was more nervous about.
Well, and I think what happens is, like, that one got a lot of clicks and likes and stuff, but there wasn't that many shares.
Yeah.
Because I think people are like, oh, I can't share this.
It's a little edgy.
Yeah, a little edgy.
Yeah.
So that was the reaction there.
There wasn't actually a lot of verbal hate, but in this one, you got a lot of comments, people saying this is too far.
Too far beyond.
So, yeah, I think it's like you can't see beyond the, oh, you've pasted Trump's head on Jesus' head, and that's all you see versus what are you actually saying?
Because what you're saying is some people have elevated Trump to the level of God.
You know, that's what we're trying.
That's exactly what we're making fun of, you know, and that's what mad people have said.
It always helps to explain the joke.
Yeah, well, you know, we should also do is explain the Photoshop because that's what we do.
There is a Photoshop of Trump.
I found a picture of these guys doing like a community theater reenactment of the, which if my Photoshop is sacrilegious, then these random dudes dressing up as Jesus and doing the Lord's Supper is probably sacrilegious too, because their heads are on place of Jesus.
Well, they've just swapped heads of strange people nobody knows about with these heads.
Well, that's like the reformed position on the second commandment is, they won't, they won't actually like any pictures of Jesus or depictions of Jesus, like even in a play like that it's, it's out of bounds.
I've heard of yeah, I've heard of that no nativity scenes.
Maybe I'm, I might.
Does that make me liberal, theologically liberal?
Um no, I think that's actually a fringe position within conservative Christianity.
Joe's nodding, so double plus conservative.
The seminary guy agrees with.
He knows yeah, he's nodding yeah, I mean I.
But you know, obviously I think there's a line somewhere with like second commandment things.
Depictions of Jesus right, like no, I agree with those two.
I completely understand and agree with the no depictions of God.
Like I won't do it when people ask me to draw some depiction of God like a joke, and I'll do jokes where maybe there's like light coming down from heaven, that's like the furthest, I'll go for God yeah, but I won't try to draw an old man or something like that.
So, like Monty Python oh, you've never seen Monty Python, I haven't, it's been a long time.
Okay, they've got like God and he's like, his mouth opens like a puppet, like open, you know yeah, he just pokes out his head out from the clouds and starts talking, yeah no, I get yeah, I totally get that.
The weird thing is that, like the Westminster Confession says, you can't picture Jesus in your head.
So when you're like the minute you do, they say that you do it right.
Well yeah, and then don't think about Jesus, don't think about him, don't think about Jesus.
And then, if you're picturing the Bible stories like, what do you picture?
Yeah, like this like, like is it blurred out?
Or maybe they could release a video series of invisible man doing everything Jesus did, so you can picture that invisible man.
The second commandment approved yeah, depiction prodigal son kicked back out after old tweets surface.
I put a little sizzle on that at the end radio.
He was dead and is alive again, but is now dead again because he is garbage.
another we'll say his name then he'll listen so let's talk about Frank Fleming yeah it's Frank it's a Frank article I'm gonna insert Frank's chuckle right here Frank Fleming, our favorite writer.
So let's talk a bit about this.
Cancel culture, cancel culture.
Old tweets this is an old tweet that we we resurfaced, not an old article, it's an old post about old tweets, though it's yeah, it's very evergreen because it keeps coming up people getting canceled for their old tweets.
So we had a story this week about a guy named Carson King who was holding up a sign at a sports game make sure I get this right and he was saying, I need beer money or something like that for send me beer money.
He put up his Venmo or his PayPal or something on the yeah, he ended up being on TV.
So, like a bunch of people like he got to like 600 bucks and he's like, all right, I'm not going to take this for beer, I'm going to give this to a children's hospital.
This is like a nice heartwarming American story and Like it goes, it hits like a million dollars.
Could he have taken the money and just bought beer or whatever?
I don't know.
When did he decide?
I think he made some kind of deal because he had the beer company, Bush Anheuser-Busch.
Oh, they agreed to match.
They agreed to match, and then a bunch of other companies agreed to match.
And it became this big thing.
And I think he picked the hospital and he was like tweeting.
He was connected to the hospital he was going to do or whatever.
I don't know.
It became this big thing.
I didn't super follow it until this thing came up because I'm more into troll stories.
But this, so I'm not completely sure on all the details, but I know that this reporter or journalist named Aaron Calvin decided in his work, and they called this doing a routine background check.
He dug through his tweets all the way back to high school and found that he had said two racist things, made two racist jokes.
It's like a 16-year-old.
But I guess what actually happened is he found out, I think they told him they found the tweets.
They hadn't actually published it yet.
He got out of the way.
He got out ahead of it and apologized publicly for it.
And so at some point that maybe they never would have published it.
But the issue here is still to me.
Yeah, but then they did.
They still did.
They still did.
That's why they put it down kind of the bottom.
But then someone contacted the beer company in the midst of all this.
And so that's.
Because I kept hearing it say that the beer company cut ties before because they heard about it, which what it sounds like is the reporter called the beer company and asked, Are you aware?
Are you aware?
And they've kind of the Des Moines register kind of you should have been telling this.
You're way better on the details than I am.
Oh, did I pronounce Des Moines right?
Des Moines.
That's the real question.
It's Des Moines.
Des Moines.
Yeah, so the Des Moines register.
It's register.
Yeah, so basically, these tweets never would have come out.
So what they tried to say was, oh, we didn't contact the beer company.
They just found out on their own, like at the exact same time that we found them, which is like, eh, you know, they just happened to find them.
But the best part of this story.
My favorite part is just the term routine background check.
I mean, that's not what you were meaning.
No, that's not the best part.
The best part is that the reporter who dug up Aaron Calvin is the name of the guy who dug up these tweets himself had posted racist tweets.
And the internet found them.
And then he got fired, which is always sad when someone gets fired.
It's fascinating to watch this play out on Twitter.
And then people were posting them, copying the screenshots, and like, oh, hey, check out what this reporter said.
Oh, check out these tweets.
And he got fired.
And then to see the Des Moines register, they first had their apology about their explanation of what happened with Carson King.
And then under that, then they had a new tweet that came up that was like, their apology for hiring Aaron Calvin.
Those responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked have been sacked.
And then even, I don't know if it's delicious.
It's kind of like it's sad at the same time, but that Aaron Calvin went on.
Apparently, he's an ex-BuzzFeed writer or something like that.
I'm going completely on internet hearsay here, which is really safe.
We just make up facts.
We just, yeah, we just say stuff.
That's what we do.
We are satire.
And he did this interview and he said, you have the quotes here on our document, I believe.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Calvin told BuzzFeed News these were frankly embarrassing tweets that he would not have published today, but he said he had been taken out of context.
And the quotes are being used to wield disingenuous arguments against me.
Here's the best part.
He turns this around.
This is expert level.
He says, I recognize that I'm not the first person to be doxed like this.
This whole campaign was taken up by right-wing ideologues and largely driven by that force.
So when it's done to him, it's right-wing ideologues.
This is the best part.
He says, it was just a taste of what I assume that women and journalists of color suffer all the time.
So he's now become a black woman.
He's turned it around.
Which is funny because he used the N-word.
That was part of his.
That's what they got him.
And he turns it around to all these racists that are attacking him.
What it feels like to be a black woman is to have used the N-word in the past and to get in trouble for it.
Well, the whole thing with the register is like they missed the entire point, right?
Because nobody, like most people on the right weren't saying fire Aaron Calvin.
He was saying it's fine to make these jokes.
The main point was has nothing to do with the story to dig up these tweets.
Like, why is that standard?
Why is that standard protocol to just dig through?
And what editor, what editor approved this thing and said, yeah, this is a good idea.
Because he seems like a low-level guy there.
Like he was just 2,000 followers.
He was just digging up stuff.
And that was his job is gathering facts.
It's just like, wow.
Yeah, did somebody tell him to do that?
That's when I said it was like, is there something higher up?
It's like, hey, dig to his Twitter history.
And that person got off scot-free.
Well, and I'm sure it paid off for the register.
They probably got a ton of hits.
That's the thing that sucks.
We're all talking about them now.
I didn't even know that was a paper.
Nobody cares.
I mean, but yeah, it got them a ton of views.
It got their ads a bunch of clicks.
They got what they wanted.
So, I don't know.
So at the end of the day, everybody wins because we all tried to tear each other apart.
What are we coming to in this world?
Well, should we move to the next story before we try to get too deep?
Sure.
Democrats introduced debate strategy of holding up small child whenever their positions are challenged.
Man, I love the Photoshop on this one.
Great work.
You know what's funny about this?
What I just realized?
This article idea came from or was mentioned in the Candace Owens interview.
No, I came up with it in the interview.
We already recorded it.
No, I think I had actually thought of it.
You thought of it, and then you mentioned it.
And then I used it.
I acted like I just thought of it in the interview to impress Candace Owens.
Ethan said something about, oh, it's like when someone tries to punch you and you hold up a child and they get punched.
Every time they try to punch you, you're like, why are you hitting this kid?
So we worked on that idea, and that became the Democrats holding up the child.
Yeah, we couldn't have children being punched in the face, unfortunately, because Kyle's a very legalistic editor.
No, I would have been okay with a child being punched in the face.
It was just more like, how do you set up this joke?
Like, why is a Democrat getting punched?
Yeah, yeah.
I was trying to work it out in my head.
Gotcha.
Um, so yeah, this is linked to the whole Greta Thunberg I can't.
Greta Thunberg.
Thun?
Thunberg.
Is it Thun or Thurn?
Thun.
Add an R?
Thunberg?
Thunberg.
Greta Thunberg.
How dare you?
I can't tell if it's racist or not that we're doing.
You can be racist against Europeans.
It's a racist.
It's fine.
Joe says it's not racist.
And Joe is, should we reveal that he's got authority on racism?
He is a minority.
Yeah.
Not in the world.
It's still mean calling people minority.
Well, yeah.
What are you?
You're Korean?
Yeah.
Korean?
Yeah.
In Southern California, we win.
You do win in Southern California.
Okay.
So, so yeah, so we had, so this, this is mainly, this was this whole week.
Constant.
It's just been crazy.
Yeah, these constant.
Oh, how dare you attack a young child.
Did you see that parody video those guys did on Twitter?
It was like a support line for people who are upset at Greta.
No.
It's like, if you're an angry adult, if you're an adult who's angry at a child, please call this number.
That was kind of funny.
But it's this whole thing like, wait a minute.
So you can't criticize the position of someone who's setting herself up as an authority.
Yeah.
That's so than the other article that you did that was really made a lot of people mad.
Yeah, that's the one that made people mad.
You put the marionette strings on her.
It said marionette strings clearly visible during criticism.
I think people saw any picture of her and any criticism as like, why are you hating on this child?
Yeah, it's a criticism of the people who are.
It's like clearly making fun of the people who are holding the puppets all around to everybody.
It's not making fun of her.
Maybe a little bit.
Like, if you can get a kid to say your position, then you can't.
It can't be criticized.
It seems just ridiculous.
You're putting a kid in the line of fire.
Maybe we need to hire a person.
The person who's putting the kid there is the jerk.
Right.
That's what it's trying to make fun of.
So we need to hire a child at the Babylon B.
Yeah.
That's a good idea.
We could just hire, just pay him a monthly, you know, we have an army of kids between the two of us.
A minority.
Yeah, Joe says we should.
You need a minority.
Have you got kids, Joe?
Equal or what?
No, no.
Yeah, Joe's got to have some kids.
We need Joe's kids.
Can we sign a contract?
Like, maybe when you have kids, we'll get a pretty minority, right?
It's a ginger minority.
You have a ginger kid.
Yeah.
Bright red hair.
Albino looking.
Yeah, but she like, she's crazy.
She's a psycho.
I don't think she'll garner much sympathy.
She's four.
But she'd.
It could be entertaining.
Okay, yeah.
We'll do an episode.
We'll do a special episode where anytime we're going to say something controversial, we'll just have the kid say it.
How about this?
Yeah, if you have a kid and you want them to be featured on the Babylon BA to defend us, send us a recording of them saying, how dare you?
How dare you attack the Babylon BA?
And we will feature your child on our podcast.
Everything the Babylon B says, I agree with.
Therefore, if you criticize it, you are criticizing a child.
We're putting out the casting call right now.
Yes, please send us the recordings.
All right, are you ready to retroactively interview Candace Owens?
Oh, man.
Let's do it.
It's right here coming through the door right now.
Hi, Candace.
Here she comes.
Presenting an exclusive Babylon B interview.
And we are here with Candace Owens in our big, crazy Babylon B interview.
And off the top of my head, Candace Owens is an American writer, producer, and conservative commentator.
That was very natural.
Yeah.
In early 2017, I was just thinking back, that was a little while back.
Owens launched Red Pill Black, a website.
Do I have to read this whole bio?
That was very natural.
I just felt like you were a really smart guy.
I'm full of fun facts.
Perfect.
So thank you so much for coming on our show.
Thank you guys for having me.
Yeah.
So because we're doing an interview with you and you're a controversial figure, we feel like we should get some stuff out of the way in case anything happens during this interview that they could play back.
We could just give them certain audio clips to play back, right?
We want to cover all our bases.
We just want to cover all the bases because people expect certain things of us because we're journalists.
So we just want to say, how dare you?
First of all, I want to say the audacity.
It's quite audacious.
I want to ask how you're able to sleep at night.
If I may, how double dare you?
I would like to say that I'm literally shaking.
Frankly.
Frankly?
I just wanted to say the word frankly.
On what planet?
On what planet?
I think we've made our point.
So now we can move into the.
Let me just hope you're giving you something to think about down the road.
Wow, you guys hit you hit them all.
Hit all the bases.
You hit all the bases.
We basically just searched your name on Twitter, and then we just, we just, all the controversy, all the people that were angry.
And we found, you know, that's what everybody says.
So now we're in the clear, and now we can safely.
I love Frankly.
Yeah, it's always Frankly.
I think I noticed that on that, there's the video that's out right now where you're out on like C-SPAN.
Yeah.
And I remember the girl, she's like looks at me and she kind of cocks her head and goes, frankly?
Yeah, strenuously, strenuously, frankly.
That's such an annoying word.
Strenuously.
Oh, I strenuously object.
I just have to say that I object strenuously to your use of the word hilarious.
I strenuously object.
That sounds painful.
Well, you know, I mean, you did say that white supremacy is hilarious.
So, I mean, it's amazing.
I think it's amazing that they do it live now.
Like, they don't even wait.
They just go, how are we going to edit what she said or what she didn't say to fit our own narrative?
And they don't, they just go right into it.
It was incredible to witness it live.
What do you think about those headlines that come out?
Like it just says, you know, I was reading headlines and it just, you know, pops up in my Twitter notifications.
And it says like on the search thing, like big news, Candace Owens.
It's like, Candace Owens says white supremacy isn't a problem.
Yeah.
She thinks it's funny.
I sent actually sent Twitter an email about that because I was so angry about it.
And I've been one of those people, I've said since the beginning that we have to change the libel and slander laws.
They just need to be updated in this country.
It's ridiculous so people can get away with purposefully excerting something to say something entirely different.
I mean, I think I opened my statement.
The second sentence I said in front of Congress was white supremacy is real.
At least six times throughout the hearing, I said that.
And yet Twitter was allowed to run with a headline that says, Candace Owens says white supremacy is not a problem.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's crazy.
And that's kind of what it is, is that it seems like the left paints white supremacy as this widespread issue.
And you're not saying it doesn't exist.
You're not saying it's not real.
You're saying that there are, you know, at least 100 things that are at least 100 things.
If anybody wants to hear them, did you ring the list?
It's number 101.
We'd like to hear all 100 things.
Literally anything.
Obesity, being tired in the morning is a bigger threat.
I mean, it's just, it's staggering.
And the funniest part was that two of the people that were sitting in that congressional testimony with me were doctors.
Like they got PhDs in bullcrap.
You know, I don't know if I'm allowed to say bullshit, but beeped up.
PhDs in it.
And they have not a single stat or number.
And you even hear when Dr. Baloo rebuts, she's like, I know I don't have numbers, but to ignore the data.
Now, the reason we don't have those numbers, I want those numbers as much as you do.
But the number, to say the numbers don't show something is simply not supported by the data.
I'm like, well, which is it?
Isn't that ignoring the data?
Oh my gosh.
So I mean, why do you think it is?
Why do you think the left emphasizes white supremacy as being this huge threat?
Because it allows them to go out and stomp on in front of black America and say, we've got to fix it.
It allows them to then paint conservatives and Republicans as racist with that broad stroke and say that they're perpetuated or they support it because they aren't doing enough to speak out against it.
And it's just absolute crap.
I mean, and it's the same crap before an election cycle, literally every couple of years.
And I just, I'm like, are we doing this again?
Are we going to drum this up?
They've had something like four hearings now on white supremacy in Congress.
That's really weird.
Really weird.
It just feels, yeah, it feels like, like, yeah, there's, there's obviously guys out there running around with swastikas on their bald heads.
But you don't go on the street and like see, it just feels like we're talking about an imaginary thing.
It is.
I mean, we are.
I feel like I'm going to get punched for saying that.
You're going to be on Twitter's featured stories now, Ethan Nicole.
Ethan Nicole of the Bevan LMV.
Frankly.
But just the widespreadness of it.
It feels like Alex Jones style conspiracy theory a lot of times when I hear people going off about it.
Right.
I mean, everybody knows when those instances happen.
Obviously, it's isolated, it's fringe, and it's horrible when it happens.
But to pretend that this is like every single day you walk down the street and we've just got Nazis and white supremacists is crazy.
And that's just the media being crazy and trying to sow division.
Yeah.
So is it something that's kind of a visceral reaction of fear?
And that's why people are driven by that.
Most people, I would say, vote based on emotion, or at least I can definitively state that about the black community for the last 60 years.
Because there's just, there's no rational reason as to why we've been giving our votes to Democrats and they've produced no results.
And our, you know, all of our communities are pretty much decimated.
So I think that they play now, Trump has done something.
Like Trump derangement is real.
Like it is so real.
That is not a conspiracy theory.
They should have hearings on that.
That is the growth of Trump derangement syndrome over the last two years is something that is widespread.
And now you see them drumming up all these other issues, climate strikes.
You've got kids that are saying they're going to kill themselves because the world's going to be over in 10 years.
Crazy.
Completely emotional and irrational and completely crazy.
So you've got the black community all been out of shape about white supremacy.
You've got these little kids that are skipping school because the world's going to end.
And it's just not, it's just chaos, really.
It's just chaos.
Yeah.
And we were going to bring that up because, yeah, that girl was at the UN climate thing today.
I would just like to say she's 16.
I just found that out and she looks like she's seven.
So I'm really surprised to find out that she's almost 16.
So I just want to clear that up for anybody else out there listening.
What's your take on?
What's your take on young people being used in politics like that?
Like you're pretty young.
We're pretty young.
He's a lot.
Ethan's a lot older than we are.
But what do you feel?
How do you feel?
What do children have to contribute to the political conversation?
And at what point are they being used versus honestly contributing to a discussion?
I mean, they're pretty much always being used.
There's a reason the left, the Democrats want to lower the voting age to 16 because kids have no real life experience.
And it's very easy to manipulate them because they have no real life experience.
So really their viewpoint is idealistic.
Like, hey, everything should be free.
That sounds like a great concept.
I mean, something that if you sat down a five-year-old and said, how should the world run?
They'd say everything is free because they think that that's just the way things should be.
But you get a little bit of living experience and you're in the world and you realize, oh, wait a second, that's actually not the way things should work or how they do work.
And you know the reasons why, you know, you start paying taxes and suddenly a lot of your idealism gets wiped away.
You've got these kids like Greta.
And unfortunately, she is being used by her parents on the global world stage right now.
The thing that to me is upsetting is I actually feel bad for her is you can't wipe that away.
Like she's always going to be this girl in the same way that David Hogg is always going to be David Hogg now.
You know what I mean?
So when they grow up one day and they go, ah, man, really stupid phase.
It's like, oh, you're that girl?
The side ponytail that was like crying, thinking the world was going to end in 10 years.
Yeah, it feels like you make an argument and then the person tries to fight back and like you make a, you say something dumb and then they're like, they try to punch you and you hold a kid up in front of you and they get hit and then you're like, why are you hitting this cliff?
That's exactly.
That is exactly what you're doing.
What kind of jerk punches a kid?
This is AOC and Bernie Nation in terms of, I mean, did you see?
So I posted a video.
It was, there was, this was an adult.
This was a white woman adult who's shrieking about climate change at the climate strike.
It's really something to be seen.
Like you could not see that in a zoo.
I was like, what is she?
I mean, she was like, we are not going to take it.
Oh, you guys have to.
I kept seeing the dancing guy and it was like, I needed the eye bleach, you know, to get rid of it.
So, so you go to these things.
I mean, do you have to bring your own mic to drop?
Do they provide a mic?
If you're going to drop the mic, which you probably are, can you use this one?
It's older.
I wish I, I mean, that would be absolutely hilarious if I did that.
Prop mic.
I mean, do you get fired up at these things?
Are you like, you can't believe what you're hearing?
And I mean, it always amazes me that they're like just doing this thing.
They're trying to, I mean, they're obviously trying to talk over you and not let you say your piece.
And then it comes back and you actually fight back and they're like shocked.
Like, like, what do we do?
And it's kind of, it's kind of funny to me.
Yeah.
So the ranking chairman, Raskin, the Democrat, he actually tried.
They always try to play tricks during the hearings.
So what actually happened was they go back and forth.
So a Republican gets some time, a Democrat gets some time.
And he was playing a numbers game because they have the majority.
And everyone had gone except for him.
He said, oh, would you guys like to say something to what Canis said today?
And he thought that was it.
These girls were actually supposed to have the last word, Dr. Ballou.
Last second, Mark Meadows, a Republican, walks in as Dr. Ballou is going on her spiel.
So I essentially only got to rebut because I was basically saved by Mark Meadows.
He came in and then suddenly he was like, can I have my time?
Chairman?
And then he seeded his entire time to me.
And then Jim Jordan jumped in.
So, I mean, they were actually going to let those women have the last word and just go in a line attacking me and then say hearing, hearing over.
So it's like getting like invited on C-SPAN.
You get a call from like a C-SPAN guy.
I think they like me and they get a lot of views.
I have to assume C-SPAN.
You need something to spice it up on C-SPAN.
Yeah.
It's a little boring.
That's exactly right.
Well, there may be dead spaces in our interview because we're not professionals, but I'll edit them out, so don't worry.
Is her mic loud enough?
It's all the way up.
If you can get a little bit closer, this is a new system.
I don't know why.
I think I may have fixed it, but it mutes when you get too quiet for some reason.
It's very 80s.
Doesn't this feel like very clean or something?
Yeah.
Like we're about to record a queen song.
This microphone.
Microphones.
Yeah.
Should we start doing this?
Which the one?
Mama Mia.
Let me go.
That was pretty good.
That's cool.
We sounded really good.
We were like all almost on the same key.
I was probably off.
So we were talking about, what were we talking about before she came in this room and now we're talking to her in person?
Well, we were going to reenact the Senate hearing or the congressional hearing.
We were going to, but we couldn't.
We were trying to memorize the line.
I object strenuously.
I strenuously want to object, frankly.
That was pretty good.
I mean, you can't make up having three white experts come to talk about the threat of white supremacy.
And as a part of their testimony, they object strenuously to a black woman speaking.
I mean, you really can't make this stuff up.
That's crazy.
These things write themselves, you know?
Yeah, that's the problem Babylon B is going to have is that satire is reality now.
Yeah, we can't we can't make it up.
It's already there.
I mean, yeah, but you are a white supremacist black woman, so you have to, you know.
Yeah, so I've read, I am the nation's first black white supremacist.
So I've read.
Yeah, that's huge.
Because people talk about their, they act like white supremacy is a growing problem or like it's, you know, it's getting worse.
But you have to admit, like, if the KKK is accepting black women now, that's huge progress.
It's a big step for black women.
Big step in the right direction.
Even the KKK, they're getting more progressive.
I think that is really what their definition is of white supremacy.
It's like when a black person leaves the left, they're like, that's, you know, that's just the growth of white supremacy.
Yeah.
So you're, I mean, you kind of have like a come to Ronald Reagan story, right?
Because you used to be not on the right.
I used to be screaming about climate change.
Yeah.
You were testifying in front of the UK.
You go around the world on a boat sailing around the world, a hot air balloon or something.
How dare you?
How dare you?
Or whatever she said.
How dare you?
So how did that happen?
Like, when did that click for you?
Like, that was the moment.
Honestly, it really was a culmination of little moments that really led up to Trump announcing his candidacy for the White House and me seeing the media who they pretty much loved him, celebrated him for decades.
Everybody wanted to be like Trump hip-hop artists, actors, actresses.
He was the guy in NYC.
He wanted to get invited to his party.
Second, he says he's running for president.
It was, they just wanted to wipe everything away.
I'm like, never mind.
He's an avowed racist.
He's literally Hitler.
And I mean, if you had even a modicum of intelligence during that time, you were just going, all right, well, he didn't suddenly become a racist overnight, like, or a sexist and a misogynist and a rapist.
And they even at one point were calling him incestuous and saying he had feelings for Ivanka Trump.
Do you remember this?
Like, they went really crazy.
And for me, it was just sort of a wake-up moment.
Like, whoa, you guys are just calling everybody racist to defeat them.
And I just got really interested in it in politics and did a lot of reading for about a year.
Really had my head in Dr. Thomas Sowell books.
And I was just like, oh, wait, I'm a conservative.
Amen.
Preach, preach.
The gospel of Thomas Sowell.
We got to get him on.
Yeah, I do.
Side note, I realize that your headphones are turned all the way down.
Yeah, I couldn't hear anything.
That's why I just opened this.
I thought this was.
You're just saying, you're not even hearing me.
Yeah, okay.
Now I can hear you.
I thought you guys were just like acting.
She's reading our lips.
This is a brand new.
We've used this for one other podcast and it's still confusing me.
It's supposed to make podcasting easier.
It has flashes.
Wow, what a difference.
Isn't it way different now?
Yeah.
It's totally different.
I thought it was just a prop.
We promise we know what we're doing when we're writing satire articles.
Yeah, that's about all we can do.
So yeah, on that topic, that kind of reminds me of during the election, my wife was not going to vote.
And then like the week.
Oh, it's always the most intense, like the week of the election.
That's when like things get crazy.
That's all anybody talks about.
Yeah, there's, who do you think you are if you vote wrong?
You are against America.
How could you stand against it?
And suddenly it's the most Hillary at all.
That's what I always say.
There's no passion about Hillary, but for the one week, it was like, I stand with her and I've, I would act like their brave heart, you know?
Yeah.
My wife got so overwhelmed by the, you're not a real woman if you don't vote for Hillary kind of stuff that she just got so annoyed by it that she voted for Trump.
I love that.
I hated it.
I love that.
Like the anger vote.
Yeah.
I don't know if I'm outing at her right now by saying that.
She's canceled, dude.
Cancel culture.
She's like small town Pennsylvania.
I don't think she cares.
No, I think the worst thing is post-election where people start, again, like trotting their kids out and their kids are crying.
And my daughter, I had to explain to my daughter why society doesn't want women to go all the way.
And I'm like, if your daughter even understood, your seven-year-old was crying and thinking her life is over and helpless because one woman lost.
I mean, it's just, this is the parents.
It's always the parents.
They put their kids out there, but their parents are the ones that have the mental disorders and the kid just inherits it, you know?
I still have the Time magazine article bookmarked.
I cried when I told my daughters Donald Trump will be president.
And it's just epic.
I go back and I read it all the time.
I have a copy of the newsweek.
You know how they accidentally put it.
They were so pompous and arrogant.
Oh, they already had a cover.
They already had the cover ready to go.
Madden president.
So people started buying them up on Amazon.
And I'm proud to say that I'm an owner of it.
So let me read some of this Time article.
She says, I tried to keep the tremble out of my voice as I woke my daughters up.
I helped them get ready saying the minimum.
I didn't know how to tell them.
How do you look into the eyes of the hopeful youth and tell them everything they have loved is a lie?
How do you answer when they ask you if their friends will have you move away?
I'm going to add music and post.
What do you say when they stare at you, empty and incredulous, and scared for reasons they're going to be?
They're probably just hungry for breakfast.
They're like, mom, can you chill out?
And we have pop darts.
Mom, we're out of Wendy's.
Especially with all this climate change stuff.
I'm reminded of like crazy fundamentalist, you know, doomsday cults that are telling their kids the world's going to end.
Yeah.
You know, and then, yeah, it's totally a religious thing on the left.
You're like, if you're freaking out that much, then what are you telling your kids at home?
Seriously, it's totally the fault of the parents.
And these never Trump women are absolutely insane.
It's just incredible.
He cannot get a single break, not even one day in office.
But I will say this.
He's the only president that looks younger after two years in office.
I think he loves it.
I think he just is like a fountain of youth.
Literally, he feeds on it.
The tweets, man.
The tweets.
He loves the tweets.
Before he became president, you could tell he'd like he'd do these running for president stuff.
And like he, he likes that relevance.
And he didn't have it.
Now he's got it.
Right, right.
He's loving it.
And you can tell he's one of those people that he really likes the, like he feeds in the negative tweets too.
Like they don't have the effect people want them to do.
Yeah, he just loves it.
I love when every time like a Democrat drops out on the race, he tweets about him.
He's like, too bad.
Yeah.
The one about the mayor of New York just recently.
Oh, yeah.
He's such a troll.
Oh, he trolls abuses stuff.
Like that was the one that I thought was going to beat me.
Too bad.
Nope, too bad.
It's a weird time to be alive when the president's trolling everybody on Twitter.
I actually feel bad for people that hate him because it's such an enjoyable thing if you can actually appreciate the humor of it all.
He's absolutely hilarious, but they're so busy hating him that they don't get that he's just having fun.
I always felt like there's an element there that's kind of like the way that people get super, like used to get, well, probably still do, but he's not as well known now.
But Rush Limbaugh.
I always saw him as kind of just the, he's just the jokey uncle.
Like he has these, he just jokes in this way that he's knows he's going to get riled up, but he's just kind of punching the shoulder like, ah, kidding.
Like Trump's got that and people just can't, they can't catch the humor at all.
They're so serious.
Right.
Everybody's so serious, right?
So serious.
Do you think that kind of climate and like what we're seeing is, and especially a lot of the derangement on the left, you think that's turning a lot of young people on to conservatism?
Yes, actually.
So what I've said is that Generation Z is actually remarkably conservative.
Like my generation ruined it, the Millennials.
We were the crazy ones.
And then Generation Z is, it makes me super hopeful when I go around and speak because they're super irreverent.
They love the memes.
They want to see how offensive they can be.
And I mean, it's the, who's the kid that was wearing the hat?
Nick Nica San.
Come on.
The kid that got Covington kid.
Covington kid, yeah.
Sandman.
Yeah.
I mean, they're, they're having fun.
They like to offend adults, which is good because, I mean, right now, even having a sense of humor or being a comedian is risky nowadays.
You can get canceled for tweets that you wrote when you were 30 years ago.
And Twitter wasn't even around.
Twitter wasn't even around and they'll still cancel you.
That's something you were talking about.
Because we've seen you've had some run-ins with Facebook and Twitter and getting your account suspended and stuff like that.
We've had some issues with Snopes.
We had Facebook a couple times shut off an article we did or something.
And on one hand, you can look at it and go like, oh, it's censorship.
They're trying to shut us down.
But I also wonder, are they just like really confused when they see Christians trying to make jokes and a black woman trying to be conservative?
Like they just don't know what to do.
It throws off off.
I don't know what to do.
Shut it off.
Yeah, definitely.
It's just, they're going completely mad.
I've been temporarily banned by all of them.
And just yesterday, I got an email from YouTube saying that they were going to remove my verification because I'm not well known enough.
So they said they now have manual people go in and assess all the accounts.
And apparently I'm not well known enough.
So I'm not at risk of someone pretending to be me.
And on YouTube?
Perfect.
Yeah.
It's like your own YouTube channel.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, you had Mike Pence on recently.
What was that like?
I'm not well known.
No.
But you had Mike Pence on.
Mike Pence knows who you are.
You have 334,000 subscribers.
Yeah.
So apparently in a couple of weeks, they're removing that little check mark.
That is insane.
Yeah.
I mean, it's totally crazy.
That's bizarre.
Who else has it?
You know what's going to end up happening, though, is it's going to be a David and Goliath.
They're going to get a massive lawsuit that is just going to be over.
And that's, I really do think that someone's going to win against Google and it's going to just, hopefully it's, they get broken up as a monopoly just for monopoly.
And they will deserve it.
And then I'll get my check mark back.
Yeah.
So how homophobic was Mike Pence?
On a scale from nine to ten?
That was the first question I asked him.
Very first question.
I mean, it's so weird to sit down with these people and just how off the media is.
He's got to be, and I'm saying this genuinely, he must be the most honorable, decent man that we've had in the White House.
I really do think that about our vice president.
I mean, just listening, he's been with his wife since forever.
He goes to church every Sunday.
And just hearing him speak and I'm going, they're trying to spin you as this like satanic, horrible anti-LGBT.
It's just, it's weird.
And they can't get a fair interview.
They can't get someone that actually wants to ask them questions about what they think.
So I've been sort of doing it with my show of like, let's just show a different side of who these people are so people can actually have something to make up their mind about other than this polarizing left to right conversations that take place if you're between CNN or Fox News.
Yeah, I loved that you had Hawk Newsome on your show.
Yeah.
Black Lives Matter.
This is the kind of stuff I that's the stuff I flock to on YouTube.
I see two people that completely disagree and they're talking.
I want to see that.
I invite so many people on the left on and he was one of the only people that accepted, which is great.
And to me, honestly, if you don't show up to a room that you're not favored in, you don't actually believe what you believe.
I mean, why wouldn't he, if he actually believes in Black Lives Matter, then great.
And I want to give him a platform because I want people to be able to decide for themselves who's crazy.
Is it me or is it him?
And I don't think there's no way after that episode people didn't go, okay.
Yeah.
Or even that we can both be in this country.
You don't have to talk about.
I object to that strenuously.
Oh, okay.
But are you joking now?
We're the jokester.
Yeah.
Leave us.
Yeah, you guys are able to have a conversation.
And I don't think, unless you guys edited it out, you didn't punch each other in the face or stab each other or anything.
The bonus content.
We still talk.
That was the subscriber portion.
The bonus content.
It's behind a paywall.
It's weird to me that the right is the ones that will like talk to everybody now.
It's weird.
Because like what, 30, 40 years ago, the religious rights, like, oh, no, we're like, you know, we're, we're holy.
Well, that's it.
We got to shut down.
The left are the holy ones now.
So they, and I have respect for guys like that that come out like that because it is more dangerous, I think, if you're on the left to go out and talk to the other side right now.
Yeah.
You'll get canceled just for talking, just for acknowledging that they're human beings.
It's so true.
I mean, look what happened to Mario Lopez when he came on my show.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
That's right.
He said his sentence was so non-controversial.
It's like, I think people, you know, children should wait until they're older to make permanent decisions to their body.
And the way they just translated that.
Fire Mario Lopez.
Hashtag fire.
I was what?
Well, and everybody responds to the rewritten headline version of what they say exactly.
Nobody goes and watches the clip of what he really said.
That's exactly right.
It's exactly right.
I think that's why that kind of stuff scares people because the gatekeepers used to be able to control all that, you know?
And now you can just go on YouTube and watch what they actually said.
Right, right.
And that's why they're freaking out and shutting down accounts and censoring and pulling things because they want to be back in control.
I mean, that's that's my opinion of why they're doing all this.
They want to be back in control of what people think is exactly how something happened and they're no longer in control.
Yeah.
Yeah, totally.
Nice.
This is our pause of newbiness.
But I will have any thoughts to collecting your thoughts.
Yeah, collecting our thoughts.
Should we ask?
Have you been on worse interviews?
You've probably been on a lot.
There's got to be really bad ones.
You have any fun interview stories?
You don't.
What?
I actually haven't done interviews in a while because now I do the interviewing.
Oh, yeah, that's true.
So, no.
It's sort of weird, though, when you become the interviewer, right?
Because it's suddenly like, oh, I got to think of stuff to say.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I definitely, the thing that I had to adjust to was shutting up.
Me, I have to, the thing I have to adjust to is talking.
Well, no, I could.
That's the thing.
When you're, when you're being interviewed, you have the things that you always talk about, and you know they're going to ask about those things, and you're ready with answers.
Right.
That's true.
And then suddenly when you're asking questions, yeah, it's different.
So if you were me interviewing you, what questions would you ask you?
Oh, I would ask me how marriage is because I've been married.
Oh, yeah, you just got married.
We're jerks.
We are huge.
You mention that.
Yeah.
I'm basically working for you.
So since you are a white supremacist, you married a white man.
Yes.
In Charlottesville, Virginia, by the way.
Oh, gosh.
Were there tiki torches everywhere?
This interview is over.
Oh, man.
And so how's that going for you?
No, it's been three weeks of marriage and it's the best I recommended.
I'm now giving marriage advice.
Oh, yeah.
Three weeks in.
What's your best marriage advice?
Whoa, she didn't have an answer.
That's crazy.
She's never been asked this before.
She suggested the question.
And then I asked her.
Can we make a headline for this?
Like Candace Owens, speechless.
She's got no answer.
Crushed.
Candace Owens destroyed by the money.
Candace Owens immediately regrets offering marriage advice to the Babylonian.
It's always the shut her down.
The Babylon Bee shuts her down.
Do you know how many clicks that would get?
Yeah.
From leftists, just like, yes, they feed on it.
I love it.
So when I got married, I found like I used to come home and just bring myself, like, I'd pick up Carls Jr.
My wife would divorce me on the spot.
No, no, no.
So I would do this before I was married.
Okay, yeah, before.
But then I kept doing it.
And I would just show up.
You were so young when you got married.
Yeah, I was 20.
And I would show up with food just for myself.
And I'd be there eating.
And my wife would be like, you know, she's just staring at me, like, what?
Like, are you going to, were you going to ask me if I wanted any food?
You know, and I'm like, oh, that's right.
There's another person here now.
Like, it took me a while to adjust.
Carls Jr. is a little overrated.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Is it rated at all?
I don't know if people, do people like it?
Interviews are so much better.
It's like Hardee's everywhere else, right?
It's Hardy's Canada.
I was bold that they put the price, like it's worth it's $6.
Oh, the $6 burger and it's $4.
Yeah.
But it tastes like extra $2.
I like how that's like supposed to be really premium as $6 burger.
Why don't they say like a $6,000 burger or something to really, they can make any number?
Well, Carls Jr. was just an example.
I pick up all kinds of fast In my defense.
Ethan, what's your best marriage advice for us?
Oh, man.
I wasn't ready.
I don't know why.
I'm speechless too.
You should give lots of foot rubs.
Really?
No, actually, I never give foot rubs.
I do back rubs.
I have a lot of back rubs.
I'm a back rubber.
This is an excellent post.
I feel like we should say something typical, like, never go to bed angry.
Never go to bed angry.
That's cute.
Live last sun go down in your head.
Live last sun.
Everything she says, repeat it back to her.
They're laughing at something like we bring that back to her.
That would get annoying, though.
If you repeat it back to her.
Everything she says back to her does that.
What are you even thinking about?
That's like a way to acknowledge that they're, you know, that you've heard them.
Like the other day, we were supposed to bring my kid's shoes and she told me that I got the shoes.
And then, so what I heard was that she's bringing the shoes, but really she meant she put the shoes on the mantle for me to get.
And we got in the car and neither of us had gotten the shoes and we were driving off with a barefoot child.
And so she's like, okay, every time we have to like repeat back to each other what the other one said.
So just be clear with each other.
That's all.
Communication.
We're trying to help you right now.
Thank you for coming to the London Marriage Seminar.
100%.
I'll repeat everything my husband says back to him.
That won't be annoying.
Yeah.
So anyway.
So we think you should change your name to canceled Owens.
Canceled Owens.
You've probably heard like Candace owns, like owns the limbs.
Yeah.
I'm sure that joke's been done, right?
Yeah.
And then there's the mean take on it.
What do they say?
Owned?
No, it's like something ridiculously left does with my name.
I wish they were funnier.
I actually appreciate when people are clever and funny and say something rude to me.
I'm like, because I have a good sense of humor.
So I'm like, ha That's actually really funny.
Good one.
But they're never funny.
And I'm just going, that's actually just not funny.
It's not a good diss.
Yeah, even if I agree with somebody and they do a diss and it's like, oh, come on.
You know which one I don't like is the Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and they say occasional.
Occasional cortex.
Occasional cortex.
That's pretty weak.
That's pretty weak.
Yeah.
That's pretty weak.
That's like, like, she doesn't think very much.
So it's occasional.
Occasional cortex.
Oh, I get it.
That's pretty weak, though.
Yeah, that's weak.
Or they always just draw really funny with like weird eyebrows or something.
We can do better as a country.
I don't know what he's talking about.
Whenever I see characters, I always see the giant teeth.
The eyebrows?
Or the teeth?
They always do the teeth.
The teeth.
I don't know.
So anyway.
You got something?
I don't have anything.
You really sounded like you had something.
I know.
I was like, oh, I said, anyway, and I hoped you would jump in with something.
So imagine a world where you did not become conservative icon Candace Owens.
What would you be doing right now with your life?
Oof.
I probably would still be working in finance, probably in private equity.
Yeah, I think for sure.
But I got really, I got really obsessed with politics and here I am.
It's weird.
It's really weird to think about that, that your life can just completely change.
Yeah.
And you're doing something that you never thought you would be doing.
I had no interest in politics growing up.
I didn't major in political science.
I mean, just nothing.
And here I am.
I actually say, though, I think I do politics because I hate politics, if that makes sense.
I actually hate politics.
I think we both hate politics.
We're the same.
Yeah.
That's the way we just joke about it.
She's like absurd to me.
Like, we're holding it here and I'm watching Terracy.
Well, that just makes me angry.
So I'm showing up here at this very political convention.
And it's weird.
Congress, they're really, they're actors.
People that just weren't, I've heard this, the people that weren't good enough to make it in Hollywood become politicians.
And just seeing the amount of theater or the acting that goes on in there, we're pretending to cry and it's just weird.
I am Spartacus.
I am Spartacus.
No, you're not.
It's got to be bizarre alternate reality to live in to be in that all day, every day.
That was the craziest thing was the Cabinet hearings when all those were basically all giving their campaign speeches and they were just like these written, I am Spartacus and blah, blah, blah.
And they're supposed to be questioning Dr. Ford or whatever.
And they're like totally ignoring her and just giving these speeches.
They knew the whole country was watching.
It was just narcissism on top of narcissism, on top of narcissism.
Like it was really bizarre.
That was really weird, the Cabernet hearings.
That poor man.
That was very strange.
That was nuts.
That was one of those wake-up moments for me.
Yeah, it's like as bad as they say it is.
Yale bussing down people, chasing people down in elevators.
Alyssa Milano sitting behind him like what?
What?
Just sitting there randomly.
It's like, what is she doing?
She's like, literally looks lost or something, poking her head over her shoulder.
Like, you ever seen Ricky Gervais' show, that show Extras, where he plays an extra, but he's always trying to get his head shot?
That's how it is.
Yeah, she's like trying to like, this is about me.
Yeah, but I agree.
It's like, to me, I do politics because I want politics to stop annoying my life.
Yeah, I just want to go back to being normal.
Yeah, if it didn't mess with my life so much, I wouldn't care about it.
I want people to be able to say, I disagree with him, not he's a racist rapist.
Yeah, if we could just get back to that place of I disagree with you, that would be great.
Yeah.
And that's what creates so much absurdity for us to make jokes about because people always go to these extremes that are just so ridiculous.
It's like the layup for the perfect joke.
Yeah.
They're doing most of the work for us at this point.
I know.
Your jobs are either really easy or really hard.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
Well, because we can't, we have to exaggerate it, which is hard to do nowadays.
Because it's just already exaggerated.
It couldn't get more exaggerative.
Yeah, but at the same time, it's kooky enough that there's a lot of stuff to make fun of.
So, well, Facebook listed you as an agent of hate.
Yes.
And you have a badge.
Yeah, that's exactly what we were saying.
We were joking around.
We're like, how do you become an agent?
Exactly.
We can't tell.
We can't tell you.
What's the sounds like a good TV show?
It is.
Agent of hate.
Agent of hate.
Starring.
Candace.
With Mike Pence.
He's like the man in the hands are the secret document.
So what was the deal?
Was that like a real thing?
Like they had some spreadsheet floating around that said.
Yeah.
And I guess they had me on the list of maybe investigate agent of hate.
Maybe they could be.
I'm possibly an agent of hate.
Like how you're maybe an agent.
Yeah.
So, yeah.
I mean, I had no idea that I had that status.
They have a picture of you and they're like Tiddler?
Yeah.
And then the question mark.
It sounds incredibly important.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's nuts.
Yeah.
That's like totally crazy.
That's so wild.
Bonkers, man.
Did you like that?
Yeah.
All right.
Well, we're awesome at this.
So how's Blexit going?
It's going.
It's on my list.
It's on your list of questions.
That was a good transition.
It must be going pretty well because Alex wants me dead.
So that's always a good marker of how hard they try to assassinate your character.
Have you ever had any leftist ninjas jump out of the shadows at you or anything?
We mean like Antifa.
Oh, yeah.
Have you actually had run-ins with Antifa?
Absolutely.
Everyone has this story.
Yeah.
You haven't seen this?
Vegan coconut milk shakes in no eggs, which really doesn't make sense.
Yeah, that's not very vegan.
Yeah, they're incredibly skinny and pasty.
It is kind of weird.
I don't know if that's a requirement to be in Antifa, but they have you remember like the 90s trolls with the bright hair?
Yep.
That's real.
Like they all have super bright hair.
Oh, you mean the troll, like the little naked troll?
Yeah, the naked troll, the little gem and his belly button.
Yeah, yeah.
That's basically Antifa.
Except they're way cuter than Antifa, though.
No, those trolls were so gross.
Yeah.
The bellies were cute.
If Antifa was all naked, they wouldn't look like those trolls.
Just guessing.
I just caused everybody to involuntarily envision all of Antifa naked.
Disgusting.
Thanks for that.
This was a PG program.
We appreciate that.
But it's just their butt.
It's trolls.
The antifuniness can't get her because she's an agent of hate.
She's ready with the crotch in the backhand.
They're jumping at her and she raises her fist backwards.
There's definitely some creative person listening to this podcast who should turn that into a thing, like a cartoon.
Write it down.
You think we're creative people?
Yeah, I can draw.
That was the wrong side of the pen.
I'm not really doing it.
So you got eggs thrown at you by Antifa?
Yeah, they chased us out of a cafe because we were eating breakfast in Philadelphia.
Yeah.
And then they show up wherever I speak.
They're always outside protesting and saying mean stuff.
That makes no sense.
Yeah, they're kind of like the like you used to hear about the Westboro Baptists.
Yeah.
And now it's Antifa.
Yeah, they're the new Westboro.
They should get together.
West.
I don't know if Westboro would want to be associated with.
Yeah.
Maybe they could cancel each other out.
If we just get them all together and we trick them into meeting in an alleyway and just punching each other.
I mean, the ridiculous thing is that they're allowed to cover their faces.
I think that is just so bizarre to me.
That is weird.
That's weird to me that they think they're so brave.
And it's like, if you're so brave, they're definitely paid.
Like, why is your face covered up this whole time?
Strange.
Who pays them?
The Antifa fund?
I don't know.
Antifund.
Anti-fund.
Yeah.
That was good.
Write that down.
Do they have an auntie named Antifa?
That was good, Ethan.
Sorry.
When you write jokes, like 10 of the jokes you come up with are not going to be used, and then one is used.
But when you do them live, then a lot of bad ones come out.
Then they're all being used.
This is how you guys strategize.
This is how we're in a Babylon B strategy session.
Okay, so basically us sitting in an office, pretty much.
I mean, we have other writers that throw in headline ideas, but like around the clock, this is it.
You're looking at it.
We basically just tell like 100 bad jokes.
Yeah.
And like two or three of them get published.
That's basically it.
I mean, that's everything, right?
It's like you work so hard on stuff and you find what's good rises to the top, you know.
So I don't know.
I don't know if that's similar to what you do.
Yeah, do you prepare for because you got to prepare for stuff too?
To own some libs later today.
Like, I got three libs to own later today.
Yeah.
You better prepare.
And you got to get ready for it.
I'm just living my best life.
Yeah, you are.
I'm just living my best life.
What are the property taxes like on libs?
Like, is there any maintenance tips for owning libs?
That's one of the bad events.
So, anyway.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, let's wrap things up.
Yeah.
This has been interesting.
Do you have anything you would like to promote to our?
Oh, yes, of course.
My book, Blackout, on sales on sale February 4th, 2020.
You can head to Amazon and you can buy it there.
Or you can head to Barnes Noble and you can buy it there.
Or you can purchase the audiobook.
I haven't recorded it yet, but it'll sound something like this.
Okay.
That's a good preview.
Yeah.
What's the book about?
Yeah.
It's called Blackout: How Black America Can Make Its Second Escape from the Democrat Plantation.
Oh, man.
It's spicy.
It's very spicy.
It's like a Blexit thing.
It's a Blexit thing, yeah.
Cool.
Very awesome.
So it's already on pre-order on MC.
Kindle, Amazon.
Okay, cool.
Barnes ⁇ Noble.
We will also include a link in our show notes for anybody who wants to check that out.
Yep.
And Candace, we wanted to thank you for sitting in Los Angeles traffic for like an hour life and schedule.
So we appreciate it so much.
Thank you guys for having me.
Yeah.
All right.
You heard it here, folks.
The exclusive interview with Candace Owens.
And we'd just like to remind you that we disavow everything that you've seen.
The thing that you said, we disavow.
Thank you.
What do you think of that, Kyle?
The Candace Owens interview.
That was our biggest interview yet, I think.
Our most well-known person.
I was a little nervous about it because she is so many leagues above us.
And the weird, it's just weird when somebody walks off the internet into a little room with you and they're real now.
Yeah.
And also, like, she started off with a very serious-looking face, and I wasn't sure if she was going to laugh.
That was the scariest part because we had a whole plan to start with all this funny stuff.
Yeah.
And we weren't sure if she was going to laugh.
Like, she was like stone-faced.
And then she just started laughing.
Yeah.
She started laughing very hard.
That was good.
So it was good acting on her part to act.
Yeah.
We were funny.
Fake laughing.
Fake laughing.
Yeah, it's great.
That was an awesome interview.
I really enjoyed it.
All right.
We're going to do some hate mail, but we're not hate mail.
We're doing love mail.
Love mail.
We're going to do.
Well, we may have a couple of hates in here, but we're going to read podcast reviews from iTunes.
Yeah, because we love when you guys write reviews and we don't acknowledge you often enough because people that rate and review us on iTunes, you're very special to us.
Yeah.
We love you the most out of everybody.
This is going to be an extended pitch for you to review us on iTunes or any other.
Just to acknowledge, there's some very well-written reviews on here that deserve.
Well, it's probably going to be the most recent ones because I don't have time to scroll back through the very beginning.
Apple is so weird.
It's like if you're accessing anything Apple not on an Apple device, it's like impossible to find anything.
All right, so here's this is I like this one.
Okay.
Five-star review from Brian Jimerson.
And he says, often the Babylon Bee is often fairly funny.
Oh, I guess often is the name of the title of the review.
Often.
The Babylon Bee is often fairly funny.
He's not very enthusiastic, but I do appreciate fairly funny.
I'll take fairly funny.
Often fairly funny.
I'll take it.
He means our stories.
Oh.
Oh, no.
He's talking.
This is a five-star review.
Often the Babylon Bee.
That was the whole review.
That's what I'm saying.
That's the whole review.
I'm done.
That's it.
I'm just going to pick a random.
Laughed so much.
Amazing intro.
Love the structure.
Covering stories, a topic, and explaining our podcast.
Hate mail.
This is Carrie Kay.
Oh, hate mail is particularly hilarious, satire, and sometimes serious.
I laughed so much I had to reconsider listening while driving.
Thank you, Carrie.
Five-star review.
I checked with Snopes, and this isn't even satire.
Articles, great.
All caps.
Podcast, very good.
I probably agree with that.
The articles are a highlight every time I read one.
Hilarious.
Keep it up.
He's like, hey, podcast is great.
I love your articles.
Is it yelling?
And then at the end of this one, they say, these guys know about short circuit and Johnny 5.
And I like that.
Finally, we found our person who got our short circuit reference.
Yeah, short circuit.
Great movie.
We should read some bad ones too.
Where's the bad one?
A good bad one?
Be careful.
Paluka 61 says, Be careful, Q.
I don't know why there's a Q at the end of that.
Is that like a reference to some conspiracy?
The humor is a little bit forced, like it was supposed to be the main thing.
Right-thinking Christians know the main thing is Christ Jesus.
Not trying to be clever, just over 50% of the humor is fine.
What over 50% is fine?
I don't understand that.
Is it a one-star review?
It's a two-star.
So, if over 50% is fine, shouldn't it be three-star?
You can't do two and a half, probably.
Maybe he wanted to do two and a half.
Right-thinking Christians know that the main thing is Christ Jesus.
I agree.
Not trying to be clever, just over 50% of the humor is fine.
He's saying half our jokes are evil, I think, is what he's saying.
This is from this is a person who was mad about the Bridget episode.
Oh, he says, Well, while Babylon B usually recognizes the potential for satire in the hubris of others, this episode declines into the tired critique of older generations.
Ethan and Kyle and Bridget too need some friends/slash role models and their parents and grandparents.
Humor, satire, insight are timeless.
If you look, be better, be that was the one that thought we were making about old people.
I think so, yeah.
I felt bad about that one because we all appreciate old people.
I'm not making fun of them.
I love old people.
I like reading criticisms of myself.
Yeah, and Bridget does too.
What did we say about this?
What did we say about old people?
I don't know.
Did we say something about old people?
Old people, we love you.
And I'm sorry, the person who wrote this review.
She volunteers like senior centers.
I will be better.
Fantastic.
This was really cool.
That's a good one.
Five stars.
This is like Axe Cop, but the Babylon B. That's my comic.
It's that good.
All right, let's just do a couple more here.
Hallelujah.
Landmaster 2911 said, Every word is like a delicious bite of a Chick-fil-A sandwich to my eardrums.
Here's a good one.
Five stars, Libs Dead.
With the guest appearance of Ben Shapiro personally destroying Libs in a house fire with the stanky leg and an epic mashup of facts and logic destroying all the libtard sandcastles.
It's truly beautiful.
Sandcastles.
I've heard snowflakes.
I never heard sandcastles.
That's so great.
How about this one?
Carant96 says, secret messages await.
I played this podcast backwards and to my pleasant surprise, heard the entire Gospel of John read enthusiastically by these two white dudes.
I look forward to hearing the Bible read in its entirety.
Subscribing now.
So listen to it backwards.
Yep.
I like.
How do you say Babylon be backwards?
Ibn Alabab.
So here's one that says here's one that says you need more editing.
Two stars.
Editing, editing, editing.
Take your 48-minute podcast and edit it down to 15 minutes.
These people always fascinate me.
Who listens to a 15-minute podcast?
Look at the top podcasts out there.
Are any of them three hours long?
And are they like edited down?
No, it's just people talking.
Like a snazzy 15-minute soundbite.
Like nobody.
There's some nicely edited ones, but I think it's mostly like the ones that are shows or audio dramas or whatever.
Those are, but yeah, if you're just having a conversational podcast.
Yeah, and this is a conversational podcast.
If you don't want conversations, in fact, this is like what we tried to warn people at the beginning, right?
Like, this isn't like the site.
This isn't satire articles, and we're not going to try to pretend like we're being fake.
Like we're parodying a podcast because that'd be really hard to pull off.
We're just us.
And basically, we were just lazy and decided this was much easier.
We tried it, though.
We actually did it.
It was not funny.
We really tried to do like parody news stuff and do this written stuff that took a long time to work up.
And it was not as good as us just talking, which maybe just says that we are horrible writers.
Anyway, that's the show.
All right.
Well, we love you and write us an attitude.
Thank you.
Write us some great, amazing.
Maybe you'll be featured and we'll read your words.
So we're going to go into our subscriber portion now.
So if you are a subscriber, you get to keep listening.
And if you aren't, then you will be thrown into the outer darkness where there's weeping and gnashing of teeth.
If you're dressed for the wedding party, come on in.
And if you want to be dressed for the wedding party, go to babylonbee.com/slash plans and you subscribe at any level and you'll get access to full ad-free podcasts.
Yeah, ad-free.
Because now we have ads.
Yeah, we do.
Sometimes maybe.
Maybe.
So anyway, yeah.
Okay, and I'm going to tell my eardrop story.
Oh, yeah.
Maybe.
Unless Kyle makes me edit it out.
All right.
We'll see you guys next time.
God bless you and have a wonderful week.
Kyle and Ethan would like to thank Seth Dylan for paying the bills, Adam Ford for creating their job, the other writers for tirelessly pitching headlines, the subscribers, and you, the listener.