Mike Reigns and guests dissect Halloween pop culture, the conspiracy-laden film Snake Eyes, and Westboro Baptist Church protests before analyzing disturbing notes from Jeffrey Epstein's 50th birthday party featuring explicit stories from Bill Clinton and Donald Trump. They characterize James Comey's indictment as a frivolous political vendetta orchestrated by Trump while expressing grief over Charlie Kirk's death. Ultimately, the episode blends macabre trivia with conspiracy theories, including the claim that Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone, to explore the chaotic intersection of politics, crime, and internet culture. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: CohereLabs/cohere-transcribe-03-2026, WAV2VEC2_ASR_BASE_960H, sat-12l-sm, script v26.04.01, and large-v3-turbo
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Rocky Horror Chaos00:14:42
Endlich, ulverstirrt, red, afkoblit, feuerweile po koblit, de, sondotil.
Holmelektro, ja ja, dekamier, bedamme.
Wisst du seht a po, ich versteel da, feuer eisdeklinge, ario, ario, so, eis.
Nitwege, nit.
Jenside präsenter in Wanskade po, nitititale.
Sprinkelanlegi, aasa mi Wassarunti reins, gaus perimere oasra putre asa.
Oh, in Wanskade da.
Nun, bobamme fein sage, aasa friet your laptop.
What is the culture of the city?
What is the culture of the city?
Kort sagt, skru på høsten på TV2 Play.
While it's meant to be comedic and informative, sometimes we have to get into things like child abuse and violence against people.
Listener discretion advised.
Hello, everybody.
I am Mike Reigns, a.k.a. Poker and Politics, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld.
This week, I am joined, as always, by Haley, a.k.a. Chaley, a.k.a. Arizona Right Watch.
Hello, listeners.
I am so tired.
I feel like I'm going to die live on the pod.
But that would get us banned.
So I'm not going to do that.
Do not do that.
Please do not perish on the pod.
And if you do, like, fall off camera.
Like, just make sure that you're actually not like doubled over on camera while it's happening.
We're also joined by Eric, the deep state operative.
Hi.
I want to apologize ahead of time if there's any weird sounds coming from my end because I'm trying to 3D print my son's Halloween costume at the moment.
And my printer decided that now it was going to have every squeak and creak magnified.
Wait, before we intro Steph, who we always saw, what are you making for your son?
He wants to do Luigi, specifically from Luigi's Mansion.
So I am printing out the.
It's called the Poltergust.
It's basically.
It's like, imagine like the Proton Pack from Ghostbusters, but it's a vacuum cleaner.
I'm very familiar with Luigi's Mansion because I love Luigi's Mansion.
Also, it's cute that your son's going as Luigi.
Yeah.
I also may go as Luigi this year, but.
I have a.
Oh, God.
Haley's so edgy, she cut me.
Oh, man.
Three edgy, five me.
Oh, man.
But real quick, just to push Stephanie's intro back even farther, I want to mention that I have a tattoo of Luigi on my back.
Okay.
I was trying to get Steph into the pod, and Eric and Haley were like, no, no, Steph's not allowed to talk.
She can go to hell.
Steph, you're in the game.
Welcome, Steph.
She's here.
Hi.
I too might also die from exhaustion.
I thought you were going to say you two are going to be Luigi for Halloween.
Halloween would mean me going out and being in the real world, but I am going out to see the 25th anniversary theatrical release of Battle Royale on October 12th.
My husband already got us tickets.
I think it's one night only, and it's not dubbed.
It's in the original Japanese, which if they had dubbed it, I would be streaming.
I'm so excited.
Excited to see it on the big screen.
I've seen Holy Grail, The Wall, Rocky Horror, Apocalypse Now on the big screen.
So, like, this is really exciting for me.
Yeah, I don't think I've ever seen that on the big screen.
Did I ever tell you that I used to be in a Rocky Horror cast?
Technically, I still am because I'm on the roles, but I haven't actually done anything since my son was about six months old.
I never really got into the movie, but I love the soundtrack.
I love the soundtrack, but I'm not even like a musical person, but I love the Rocky Horror soundtrack.
The movie is just like, and all the people, they're all like, woo, in the theater.
It's just whatever, but have your fun, you know?
But, like, one thing I learned a lot about the LGBTQ community just from doing Rocky Horror, because as you may imagine, if you know anything about the movie, it is very big in the LGBTQ community.
And so there is a lot of inclusion going on and stuff.
Like, actually, there was this one.
Guy who joined the cast and while being in the cast transitioned to male.
So I learned a lot about that.
And then he ended up playing Rocky, and you could actually still see the double mastectomy scars while he was running around wearing nothing but a pair of Speedos.
I think the person who directed Rocky Horror is genderqueer, too.
Who do you play in Rocky Horror?
I would do Dr. Scott, the guy in the wheelchair.
But yeah, Richard O'Brien, the guy who created Rocky Horror.
Yeah, I think he's gone on record saying that he's about 60% male and 40% female.
And did you know that?
Oh, sorry, go ahead.
But I want to hear what you're going to say because maybe it's what I was going to say.
Richard O'Brien was also in the movie Dark City.
Yes, he was.
Yeah.
Yeah, he was Mr. Hand.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
That was a great role.
And he's also, this is really weird, he's the dad on Phineas and Ferb.
Oh, that's so funny.
Oh, my God.
Every time I listen to it, I'm like, I can't believe that's Richard O'Brien.
And I think we killed Mike with all this.
Oh, no.
I just have nothing to say because, like, my.
My dealings with Rocky Horror are incredibly minor.
I've seen Rocky Horror a little.
I can look up where the Boston cast is.
Oh, yeah.
I'll get right on that.
Oh, yeah.
I'll be running down to the theater for my Rocky Horror.
I mean, actually, if you talked, if Elle was around, he would give you his eye rolling review of Rocky Horror and how it's just.
And Elle's a theater kid.
So he's.
I mean, it's not even about the movie so much when you go, it's.
It's the experience you see, all the people, all the hijinks going on.
It's a lot of fun, yeah.
It's about the crowds, it's about the crowd interaction.
I understand, I understand entirely.
I get Rocky Horror, okay.
So it's called Full Bucket General, like the plot.
I think there's a lot of discourse every Halloween.
Is on like there was actually one today that I saw on the like them magazine, like a queer magazine that was like about Rocky Horror because it's like there is always this like kind of yearly discourse, like there are transphobic elements in it, but it's more like an outdated thing.
Thing.
It's more like it happens like in the 70s.
So it's just like not to the times.
Yeah.
Everybody kind of accepts the plot is bad.
I mean, well, I mean, I mean, you know, okay, the bad guy in the movie is trans.
I'm not, is trans, is a crossdresser, but he's not evil because he's a crossdresser.
He's evil and he's a crossdresser.
Yeah.
I think that's a pretty important distinction because a lot of movies will make it seem like the person, like in a, Like they did that in Silence of the Lambs.
They kind of tried a careful line where they're trying to say, you know, okay, yeah, he's, you know, he's trans, you know, Buffalo Bill, but that's not what makes him evil.
It's just somebody said he's not even a real trans because it all boils down to he wants to be a woman because he hates who he is, not because he thinks he's a woman.
Yeah, but you know who he's based on, right?
And the real Ed Gein?
Yeah, yeah.
And like Ed Gein's whole thing, he had a lot of like mom issues and dad issues and stuff like that.
Ed Gein was a straight up freak.
I mean, even for a seal killer, he was a freak.
He really did.
I think he only killed like one or two people.
He really did.
Yeah, most of the bodies he had were stuff he dug up from a graveyard.
At least he was creative and artistic.
I mean, he had an arm.
I made a Barbie doll version.
Of, like, some of his stuff.
Like, I have an armchair with Barbie arms and stuff like that.
The guy, I can't remember his name right now, but the guy who played Buffalo Bill, he was on Monk as the cop who was always working with Monk.
And, like, I just wonder if, like, ever, like, there's an outtake where he leans over to, you know, and Tony Schlubben goes, Monk, would you fuck me?
And also, that song in that scene, Goodbye Horses, is such a great song.
I remember when I heard that song for the first time, and I think that was like part of my goth awakening.
I was like, Song is amazing.
What is it?
I'm like, you know, 10 years old.
Um, speaking of movies, I feel like this is gonna be a movie heavy episode, because we're talking about that Nicholas Cage movie at some point that i've never heard of.
Um, Snake Eyes, hold on.
I do want to ask, is anybody, is anybody gonna?
Uh, I saw that Onion is actually releasing a full-length movie, that about Jeffrey Epstein.
Did anyone see anything about this?
It's called like Bad Pedophile.
No, I didn't hear anything about that at all.
I think I just announced it yesterday, but it's already like impossible to get tickets and they're not even showing there's.
They're only like What I was reading was essentially that like it was gonna have theatrical release and then Kirk was killed and the theaters pulled out.
They didn't want, I think, smoke.
And now it's just kind of like indie theaters that are picking it up.
None in Arizona, which is really fucking annoying.
Arizona theater goers that I know listen to us.
What about Bisbee?
What about Bisbee?
They have like nothing in Tucson either.
Oh, really?
That's weird.
But yeah, I would see it if they brought it here and Mr. Onion should reach out and give me a copy.
William Onion.
I'd be glad to hear it about that.
But anyways, any other movie news?
I heard a Nine Inch Nails song on the radio and I was wondering if it's the one from Tron.
It probably is as, what is it, as alive as you need me to be.
That's something I didn't think of.
I don't remember the name of it, but it was.
Definitely a new because it was on a station that plays new music, so it was not an old Nine Inch Nails song, and I didn't recognize it.
How weird is it that we went from like Nine Inch Nails because when Pretty Hate Machine came out, like nobody knew who this band was, and it went from like this underground thing to like this, like now they're playing Nine Inch Nails at Disney World on the Tron ride, like yeah, like that, and and like Ice Cube went from.
Ice Cube and Ice T and Snoop Dogg went from gangsta rapper to like household name.
Yeah.
It's so wild.
I know.
I got to wonder if when Ice T was doing body count, he said to himself, one day, I'm going to be doing a commercial of car insurance.
Or I'm going to be playing a cop on a TV show.
I know the irony of that never dies.
The guy who sang Cop Killa is now a cop.
And in Tank Girl, he plays one of the kangaroos and they're like, so what did you used to be in your former life?
He's like, I was a All right, I gotta ask you guys have you seen Snake Eyes?
Yes, I've seen it.
Yes, I have not seen Snake Eyes.
No, I have no idea what this fucking movie is.
Okay, it's it's a Brian De Palma movie, so um, so it starts off with a big one, you know, like one of those big long shots where it's like five minutes long, but it's only one, but but it's one take with it.
We're on the same camera, and it's uh, basically, yeah, Nick, it's Nicolas Cage in his full, hemi glory, just running around.
In Vegas, I believe.
So there's your connection to it, Mike.
Oh, yeah, that might be a huge connection to this movie.
I don't even remember what it was about.
No, I don't either.
I mostly because everyone thought that the big shot at the beginning, that's all one take, is great.
And then the movie kind of went after that.
Like, I was reading that thing that you sent talking about all the connections, and I just kind of had to be like, okay, okay, because I didn't remember nothing about what he was talking about.
It was just an in and out of the theaters kind of movie.
Mike, do you want to explain why we're talking about Snake Eyes Cinema Classic starring Nick?
Age, so in the movie, Charles Kirkland, the secretary of defense, was assassinated by a gunshot to the neck.
Charlie Kirk, Charles Kirkland.
The assassination of Charlie Charles Kirkland took place in September, and then the guy has like the Hamas triangle, but for some reason, it's like it's this bullet point noter and not like support for the Palestinian people.
It's like really weird.
And and and snake eyes are a one and a one, like 11 9 11.
True.
I think I just broke Mike's brain, that look on his face.
No, because, yeah, because Snake Eyes is a two in craps.
Westboro Baptist Frenzy00:16:07
I know that.
So I'm just saying, turning Snake Eyes into 11 was like, wow, that's a lot of work.
Hey.
Because 11 is yo, the yo 11.
But I mean, that's what people do with one of the bacon conspiracy theories.
They'll be like, Charlie Kirk had been alive for 1775 days, so they had to kill him.
Before the Declaration of Independence, I understand what you're saying, but you also need to understand that you are on the Adventures in Hell World podcast where we have aggressively innovated the no and form of improv.
Where you walk up to me and say, There's a parrot on my shoulder, and I respond by saying, No, there isn't.
You, I'm not giving you that parrot.
Whatever you were going for with this bit, I'm cutting it off right now.
So, yeah, that is how this works, but uh, anyhow, um.
In the film, the heavyweight fight who took the fall is named Lincoln Tyler, who has allowed the assassin to get away, drawing parallels to Tyler Robinson, who is believed to be the fall guy.
Another Hamas triangle.
Don't leave just yet.
It gets even weirder.
Oh, thank God.
I was so worried it was going to get more normal, but it's not.
Part of the movie was shot at the Trump Taj Mahal Hotel and Casino in Atlantic City.
Gilbert Powell, the sleazy arena director and defense contractor, is explicitly noted as a character based on Donald Trump.
Gilbert Powell was part of the plot to orchestrate the assassination as part of a conspiracy involving a missile defense system deal.
In the movie, Dunn confessed to the trip to Norfolk was a test for the Air Guard missile defense system, which Powell's company was backing.
He deduces that the sniper, a known Palestinian terrorist named Tariq Rabat, who was protesting weapon shipments to Israel, learned of the test and assassinated Kirkland in order to stop the sale of the system to the U.S. government.
Also notable throughout the film, A hurricane named Jezebel strikes Atlantic City.
This is also possible, given that we learned that the Jezebel website paid a witch on Etsy to curse Charlie Kirk.
This is just weird.
He then concludes.
I love that he didn't tie it together at the end and put a bow on it.
He just ends by saying, This is weird.
And then he, like Powell, there's like a defense dude named Powell, like Colin Powell.
Like, he didn't even go for that.
Like, come on, dude.
This is a Q guy, right?
Yeah.
MJ Truth Ultra is a big QAnon guy, yes.
It's a good thing it doesn't have 1.1 million views or anything.
Oh, yeah.
Well, I mean, 1.7 million.
Yeah.
You have more than you know.
But I mean, the sad thing is that while we're talking about snake eyes and that kind of stuff, we've got the rattletrap guy posting stuff about how it's very obvious Charlie Kirk is alive.
If you follow my impeccable reporting, you know that only the dumb normies think that Charlie Kirk is actually dead.
Now, buy my books and give me money, you stupid suckers.
Because if you don't, I'm going to grow a Hitler mustache and be a giant attention seeking piss baby.
That's just conspiracy theory 101.
Nobody who's alive is actually alive, and nobody who's died actually died.
It's all the reverse of what you think.
And yes, Hitler mustache.
I do want to talk about that.
But with the Etsy witch curse thing, it was already ridiculous.
And the Jezebel website did have to, like, take that article down and put, like, a, we didn't mean, we didn't mean to make a joke untimely.
But, you know, did you guys see that episode of the Megyn Kelly show?
Just a clip of her talking about how Erica Kirk was genuinely frightened about the article about the Etsy curse.
No, I did not.
No, but it doesn't surprise me because these Christian people are freaking weird about that stuff.
It's weird.
It's a weird thing.
It's like you're actually genuinely scared of the Etsy witches who are scammers for the most part.
And this is a satirical feminist website.
I mean, because these Christian guys, they convince themselves that witchcraft is real and has no power over them, but simultaneously needs to be destroyed.
So they kind of like work themselves into a frenzy over this kind of stuff.
Yeah, it's really funny that, yeah, go ahead, Haley.
Oh, no, go ahead.
I'm sorry.
No, it's just, I don't understand how Christians can feel this way because your guy is an all powerful, benevolent God.
So if anything supernatural happens, he's got to be on top of that.
He's got to be able to shut that down.
I don't understand.
I see people talking about, oh, pray extra hard.
The demons are out tonight.
It's like, what?
All loving God allows demons to be traipsing around all willy nilly in the ether.
Shouldn't our benevolent, all powerful God be like, Yo, demons, yep, yep, stay away from those humans or else I'll boop you on the snoot?
I mean, well, the rapture opens up the skies so it makes it so, like, I think demons can also come out maybe?
Oh, yeah, yeah, exactly.
Why was there a talk of rapture?
I've been so busy and so much has been happening.
Why are people talking about this?
It was just another case of some nutjob came out and said, Yes, I.
I did the calculations using the secret code in the Bible and discovered that the rapture is going to happen at 10 27 tonight.
Like three days ago, I think it was.
Because my son comes up to me and tells me he's watching.
I eventually figured out he was saying rapture videos, but I think because of the fact that I did not expect the seven year old to tell me about the rapture, I couldn't figure out what he was saying until he showed me the video.
Yeah, QAA just did.
I listened to it yesterday.
They just did a premium episode.
Called Rapture Denied, and I was listening to it.
I guess it came from some guy in like South Africa who was on like a podcast, and he was like saying it was going to be the 23rd and the 24th, it was going to take place over two days and stuff like that.
And they played like audio clips from all these like TikTok videos of people online.
People are bawling their eyes out, like, My life is so miserable, I can't wait till the rapture comes.
It's like, You need help, yeah.
Oh, yeah, there's a lot of people that are like begging for death essentially, but just for God to do it.
It's a really unhealthy mentality, in my opinion.
Oh, you're thinking that you're going to be removed from this life by some external force and like rewarded for your service to that being is nuts.
It's a really strange way to live your life.
And there's a reason why it was why Christianity was forced onto slaves in America because they had this vision of this beautiful afterlife, so the shitty life that they had to live on earth wasn't as bad for some reason.
That's why it was forced on them, so that they would accept their place, their shitty life that was handed to them that they were forced into.
Now, and I had to try to explain to my son what the rapture is, and I'm like, basically, all these people think the world's going to end, which I know that's not what the rapture is.
Is before anybody adds me, but uh, I was just trying to give him a simple version of it.
Um, but and then, like, and then I said to him, in any way, we're Catholic, Catholics don't believe in the rapture, so don't worry about that crap.
That's a good response, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Um, and and then your dad was like, But we believe that the cracker and the wine becomes Jesus's flesh and blood, isn't that weird, too?
And you were like, Shut up, just let it go, kid.
Okay, I have to ask because it really does feel like that meme where Marilyn Manson going door to door now.
Door to door to shock people, yes.
Holy shit, that's what I thought of too.
I thought I was gonna like Photoshop Alex Jones onto that.
There we are now in the Patrona, we have just got to meet.
There, Han Morten.
Han Morten, and we will congratulate you.
I will congratulate you extra.
Extra, I will say, is this the priest test?
You will ask us.
I will say, Martin, you are very good.
Yes, this is the best.
Okay.
I think we are here today.
Yeah, thank you for your gratitude, Martin.
And now we have extra-wounded the best priest test of this side.
See you are the best.
Puls, extra.
Now we can go to Neugis Prease.
We will go to the Neugis Prease.
This Neugis Prease is a 0-croner push and you can go to the 9-croner monosprease.
So that I think we will go to the next one.
Neugis Prease is a 1-croner push.
Like, what's going on?
It's just a sad.
I honestly don't even want to talk about it because he wins if we talk about it.
It's such a sad little five year old.
Look at me!
Look at me!
I learned if I say the word fuck a lot, people will react to it.
So now I'm just saying it a lot.
It's just, oh my God.
Let's not talk about it until after Knowledge Fight covers it.
I would like them to not cover it either.
I would like them to put Alex in time out and just do like five episodes on Project Camelot or Owen.
Owen, I enjoyed the Owen.
I just, uh, well, I mean, yeah, let's not turn our podcast into a podcast about a podcast.
That seems a little meta and a little hat on a hat, but yeah, I just saw that from Alex and immediately I was just, I rolled my eyes so far into the back of my head, I could see my brain.
I just said.
This is such pathetic attention seeking bullshit.
There's no reason to give this the time of day.
And every word I spend on this is a defeat for me and a victory for him.
So, next subject.
How about those socks?
My red socks, they made the playoffs, unlike the white socks, who are terrible and bad and make the Pope sad.
Okay.
Well, I'm glad you specified because you said, How about the socks?
And I'm like, Oh shit, I know nothing about the socks.
Ha Yeah.
I feel like the Diamondbacks, because I think they lost last night and are not, they're out, out.
Like, can't make whatever the big game is.
They can't make it to homecoming or whatever.
Yeah, they can't, they don't get to kiss the cool guy or whatever it is.
They don't get to kiss the guy.
Because that's what happens in sports.
When you win the big game, a sexy dude comes out and you're just like, oh, man.
I can't wait to smooch him.
I mean, that's what drove Tom Brady to win seven Super Bowls the sexy Super Bowl guy kiss after you win the championship.
Burt Reynolds was putting on his lip balm, and he's like, oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Tom's like, I'm so glad they got Burt again.
He's got those soft lips, and he's so giving.
He's so giving of a lover.
Oh, man.
Tender yet firm, old Burt Reynolds.
That's what I've always said.
I feel like it's a bit offensive, though.
Like, you know how, like, It's a tragedy in baseball history that the Yankees didn't win in 2001.
I feel like Arizona should win.
You should have got the Kirk magic.
Charlie Kirk should have galvanized the Arizona Snake Men to the World Series.
I forgot all about that.
That's right.
There were people who were like, we should just let the Mets win the World Series because of the World Trade Center.
Yeah.
I honestly, so the what the I went to the memorial this weekend, listeners, so you better go read my article.
Um, but uh, it was at the sports stadium, so it was funny to like be in the place where they hold the Super Bowl for a memorial, and then there's like fireworks as people walk out, which was so funny.
Um, but I did have a question kind of for you, Steph, or if anyone knows here.
Um, the Westboro Baptist Church.
Actually did come to this and protest outside of it.
Um, it was, and it was actually them.
It was Margy Phelps, who is the daughter, the oldest daughter um, and there were kids there and stuff.
Um, and uh, they actually were interviewed and said that they did actually support Kirk's views.
It's just they thought the event itself was an affront to god.
Um, because they're freaks in their own unique way and they just want attention.
They just wanted That's what I was going to say.
When the Westboro Baptist Church thinks you're taking it too far.
Also, too, it's just funny that they're like, we actually loved this bigot, but like, we're doing this for stunt reasons.
Um, do you are you familiar with like the remnants of the Phelps clan at all?
Stuff like, are you familiar with her?
I have a book by the daughter that came out of it.
Like, the story goes that like somebody started challenging her on Twitter and they became friends, and I think they eventually got married.
And like, so this interaction on Twitter brought her out.
Of the church and stuff, but and and I can't I I can't find this information again.
I think I had read it on Wikipedia like over a decade ago, and with Wikipedia someone probably came in and took it out, so I can't totally vouch for it, but my understanding was the whole premise of the Westboro Baptist Church.
Like Fred Phelps, I think he was like a lawyer and then I think, like some of the other family members were lawyers yeah, the whole point.
Because they were lawyers.
They had this idea basically.
Now, and this is the one, correct me if I'm wrong.
This part the whole premise behind the church was to provoke people so into attacking you so then that you can sue them.
Yeah, there was a lot of that, and also they're saying because they were lawyers, they knew exactly how much they can get away with without, yeah, without it becoming a with, without it, you know, basically they knew where the line was on the first amendment so they could be as obnoxious as they could without putting that toe over the line and getting themselves in trouble.
Election Petition Bullshit00:14:56
Yeah, and they would go to, right after 9 11, they would go to funerals of dead soldiers.
Yeah, they went to a lot of soldiers.
Yeah, they went to a lot of soldier funerals because they said they were protesting a country that allows gay people to exist or some shit like that.
Yeah, they held up signs that said, God loves IEDs and all that kind of stuff.
Just trying to get someone to punch them, just desperate for someone to just haul off and clock them.
Right.
Yeah.
And there are groups that go around.
Like I remember for the Sandy Hook funerals, they tried showing up there.
So there's like these like biker gangs that will go.
I don't remember the name, but there's at least one specific biker gang that goes around and they'll rev their engines super loud to drown them out.
And then they'll have people like holding blankets or banners to block them from.
You know, the people who could be most hurt by their presence and stuff.
And they actually showed up in my hometown of Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, sometime after 9 11.
And they were trying to like stir something up there.
And I think it was a Unitarian Universalist minister was like giving them cookies.
And they got so angry by someone being nice to them.
It pissed them off so bad.
I just looked it up.
It's the.
The Freedom Riders, they're the ones who would block them from soldier funerals.
And I also remember this clip of they were pro, I don't remember why, but they were protesting a Foo Fighters concert.
So, Dave Grohl got this flatbed truck and got a bunch of like choir singers and came out there and was sitting in the microphone.
He's like, I don't know why you guys hate me.
I don't hate you.
I think everybody should love each other.
You shouldn't be protesting.
You should be dancing.
And then they just started doing a cover of the Bee Gees, You Should Be Dancing.
And Like half the Westboro Baptist guys were booing them, the other half were actually kind of dancing along to it.
They were singing at this.
It was really bizarre to listen to them sing hymns.
I'm looking back at the signs they were carrying.
They honestly should have honed their messaging a bit if they wanted to try to provoke someone to punch them because they just had their usual, like, God hates EFSLRs kind of shtick.
And it's like, well, this group agrees with you.
I think now it's just more about putting their face, you know, getting their face in the papers than provoking a fight.
Yeah.
It's harder for them to.
I'm sorry.
Go ahead.
Go ahead, Mike.
Sorry.
I was just reading Margie Phelps, one of the Phelps kids.
She actually argued a case before the Supreme Court for them.
Snyder versus Phelps.
So, like, she, that's how, that's how, like, in it to win it, they are about this stuff.
That they were like, yeah, we're going to have our kid argue before SCOTUS about this stuff.
She was the one leading the protest this weekend.
She's the new, seemingly, lead.
And yeah, she was rocking the God Hates EFSLers.
There was, like, legit, actual, like, I think teenagers in there, underage people.
So, yeah, bummer that the family cult lives on, I guess.
It is, like, mostly a family cult, right?
But they yeah, they have.
Yeah, there's like 30 members of the church.
They, they're having their.
What they're.
What they are probably experiencing right now is a crisis because, you know, with Trump in power and and all the all this hateful rhetoric, they're not.
I mean, i'm not saying they were ever needed, but their shtick, as the Overton Window increasingly moves, their shtick isn't going to work anymore because, number one, people are are hyped on to them and, number two, The people that they're trying to offend, the reasonable, rational, loving, compassionate people, aren't in power anyway.
Your guys are in power.
So, you know, it's like that theory that like Alex Jones secretly voted, you know, for Democrats or, you know, Rush Limbaugh would secretly vote for Democrats and stuff, because that's when you have your highest numbers.
That's when you get to be your most outrageous.
So they're actually in a weak spot.
You know, I love that we're over a half hour into the pod and we're talking about the Phelpses, this absolutely completely irrelevant bunch of losers that no one's talked about since they started protesting Iraqi uh Iraq war casualties, funerals.
And we're just like, hey, you know what our audience wants?
Phelps talk, let's do this, let's uh let's let's talk up those.
I remember when I lived out in Vegas, I got a Phelps protest.
We were off the strip.
There was a big church.
I think it was Unitarian Universalist.
So they're probably mad about that too.
But we drive and there's like two cop cars near the entrance.
And I'm like, what the shit is that about?
And then we swing by.
And then in the middle of the church, we see like the Phelpses, like 12 people holding all their ultra offensive signs.
And I knew them.
I knew what they were about.
And I just yelled, Woo, Phelpses!
Go, Phelpses!
And then we drove by.
And then as we got past them, there were two more cop cars on the other side, like monitoring.
To make sure nobody did anything stupid with them.
And I was like, man, what a weird bunch of weird losers.
So, anyhow, how about that Epstein thing?
Isn't that a thing?
Let's talk about that.
And seeing as how that's remotely topical, and the 12 people that are still listening to this begging for content that's relevant to today's issues are like, oh my God, they're doing it.
They're going to talk about the thing.
Oh, honey, honey, they're doing it.
Come back here.
Get back in the room.
They're going to do the thing.
Babe, wake up.
They're talking about Epstein.
Yes, exactly.
Damn right.
Yeah.
So, anyhow, the event happened in Arizona's 7th district.
The Democrat won by roughly 150%.
It was to say this election was uncompetitive would be understating it.
How do you say her name again, Haley?
I've heard it like a couple times.
Adelita.
Adelita Garelva.
Garelva.
The last name was the one I was looking for.
Garelva.
Yeah.
There was no way in fucking.
Hell, that she was going to lose.
Tucson is considered like the blue wall of Arizona.
It's like closest to the border.
There's just like, it's kind of like the activist scene is just like more, it's smaller than Phoenix by a lot, but like it's just more active, like politically.
Yeah.
It's the Austin of Arizona.
It's the blue dot in the red of Arizona.
And yeah, I mean, that was the thing is like going into that election, it was like D plus 17.
And she was like, 17.
Get the fuck out of here.
I'm winning this thing by a million.
So it's just like, yeah.
So that happened.
And then there was all this reporting about how the Republicans began pissing and shitting themselves about this, and that there was a quote unquote like full court press to try to get any of the four Republicans that are on the discharge petition to withdraw from the discharge petition.
And Somehow, I mean, Maisie obviously wasn't going to withdraw.
That dude is in it to win it on this stuff.
But somehow, America's greatest hope for democracy, MTG, Lauren Boebert, Nancy Mace, you know, the people I wake up every morning and I'm grateful for.
Yes.
The people that I'm like, man, what sterling representatives of America we have here.
The bastions of democracy, the pillars of our political discourse.
Those three, somehow, none of them have bent the knee and decided.
To withdraw their signature from the petition.
And so after that all happened, and it's become very clear that they're not budging, and that Gravalia is Gravalta, or I got it, I can't say the name, sorry.
But she is definitely going to be the 218th signature to push this thing over the top and force it to the floor.
We have now had Speaker Johnson declare that they may not reopen the house this week.
When it's supposed to reopen, because she has talked about how she's like, I'm flying to DC and I'm going to get sworn in on Monday and we're getting this show in the road.
And suddenly the speaker is coming out and being like, I don't know if we're going to open the house on Monday.
We did our part with the continuing resolution.
We don't really have any business to get to the needs of the American people, their Congress representing them and working on the bills to make their lives better.
We don't have any of that.
So we might not reopen the house.
And then on top of that, there's been some talk that.
Johnson and the Republicans are not going to swear her in until her election is official, which is bullshit because numerous people have been sworn in with basically, if you have won the election and it's uncontested and your opponent's not resisting it, everyone just sort of says, Yeah, you won, and we're going to swear you in, and it's all good.
We're going to get this show on the road.
And that's what happens for everybody else.
But because this is such an important vote, the insignia for the discharge petition, now suddenly Johnson and the Republicans are like, hey, until you come here with your sticker stamped by the Arizona Secretary of State saying you totally won the election and it's certified, sucks to be you.
We can't do anything for you, lady.
And that's bullshit because they've never held anyone else to that standard.
But they're trying to string it out for another two weeks before, like I said, mid October, she'd be certified as the winner, which is.
Ludicrous because, as I've mentioned before, she won by a million.
It was not, it was totally uncompetitive.
Yeah.
And they're not even really trying that hard to hide the reason why they're doing it.
They're just like, yeah, we're not going to do it.
Why?
Fuck you.
That's why.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
You know, why aren't we certifying her?
You know why we're not certifying her and get fucked.
We don't care that you know.
We're not going to do anything about it.
How do you like them apples?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It is insane that this is where we are in American politics.
At its basest level, it's madness that we have a political party protecting its sex pest president.
But it makes it even weirder and more fucked up that literally the ride or die lunatic base of the Republican Party right now is a conspiracy theory based on the idea that rich and powerful people are pedophiles and we need to take them down.
And now their hero, their champion, is knee deep in a scandal involving the worst child trafficker on earth.
And he is probably a pedophile himself.
And they're just like, no idea what you're talking about.
Just gonna move right along.
Don't care.
Not gonna comment on it.
And it's like, yo, QAnon, you're right.
The government is run by a pedophile.
It's your boy.
Your boy.
He's the pedophile.
Hey, you know, how many QAnon followers or people who scream about pedophiles have we seen arrested or busted with like terabytes of child porn?
And it's kind of like Gus Frink.
You know, oh, you donate to the police and the DEA, hide in plain sight.
That, you know, QAnon is perfect for the people who actually are pedophiles.
Yeah, QAnon is just like the show Breaking Bad.
Yes.
Yeah, no, I'm sorry.
The Breaking Bad thing just broke my brain.
I can't remember what I was about to say.
It was poignant and awesome.
And I'm standing by that.
Oh, God.
I totally believe all of that.
I suck.
I am the worst co host of this podcast.
Podcast.
Eric's trenchant political analysis is why we're all here.
So, yeah.
Steph, it's not you.
My brain is a leaky sieve.
It's not, so don't blame you, blame me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, I mean, it's really amazing to me that these people are like, I've seen people whining and complaining, and they're just like, oh no, what are the Democrats going to do in the midterms and blah, blah, blah.
And it's like, The economy is going to suck.
Our healthcare is going to be through the roof.
Inflation is going to be bad.
And these people are going to be protecting a guy from having the Epstein files released.
I think we're going to have a couple issues to run on.
I think we're going to be okay.
I think the political wins will be at our backs in 2026.
Especially if we can get a unified message going for once.
Which would just be your healthcare is through the roof and this guy's a pedophile.
I know.
It seems easy.
But then, like, some like then, like Bernie will come up and be like, I think we should have Medicare for all, and all cops should be hung in the streets.
Well, let's put Uncle Bernie in the closet and lock that shit up.
And yeah, I mean, but that's, but the thing is, is that the right wing noise machine and the bullshit of our world is that if it's not Bernie saying it, if it's Larry seven digits on Twitter who says we should hang all the cops, they're gonna be like, Oh, these Democrats, that was the thing.
Like the whole Democrats are cheering Charlie Kirk's murder.
It's like, show us who they are.
And it's a bunch of Reddit trolls and Twitter goons.
And it's like, no, there's no elected officials who are tap dancing over this.
It's just idiots on the internet.
It's just assholes.
It's just assholes being assholes.
They're not Democrats.
It's like, you fucking liberals are celebrating.
It's like, name an elected official who's doing it.
Redacted Personal Ads00:15:37
Name one.
Every fucking Senate Democrat and most of the House Democrats just voted for Charlie Kirk.
Every fucking Senate Democrat and most of the House Democrats just voted for Charlie Kirk.
Every fucking Democrat in Arizona just fucking voted for.
Give me a break.
Yeah.
Right.
Exactly.
We all bent the knee to Charlie Kirk's dead body, although he isn't dead and he's hanging out with Tupac and Elvis.
I know this, but in New Zealand.
Right.
In New Zealand.
Exactly.
Exactly.
It's just this made up bullshit to get people upset and to claim that the Democrats are bad.
And it's the ultimate double standard because anything any goober says on social media is reflective of mainstream Democrat ideology.
Yet QAnon is in no way reflective of the Republicans.
Donald Trump is in no way.
Right, exactly.
Donald Trump himself is in no way representative of mainstream Republican views, even though he's a Republican president.
And it's just like, how?
How does this work?
Yeah, yeah, it's great.
It's truly magical.
Yeah.
Oh, God.
I want to clip that sigh.
That's like the perfect reaction to our politics right now.
It's just, all right, do we want to talk the Epstein book now?
Oh, yeah.
Bring up.
Hit us with the book.
Yeah.
So, this has been your book report for weeks.
So, the floor is yours.
I took a look through it.
And, you know, there's some stuff that people are showing a lot, like the, like just for a little background, just in case you're that guy who just woke up from a 10 year coma and decided to check out this Hellworld podcast to catch up on current events.
And if you are, God help you.
But anyway, so it came out that for.
Jeffrey Epstein's 50th birthday in 2003, Gillian Maxwell went around and got a whole lot of famous people, famous and just like influential people to write notes for this book that she made for his birthday.
Bill Clinton's in there, Donald Trump's in there, Dershowitz is in there, a few other people.
But so people were coming, and you know, there was this big controversy.
Trump was claiming that the poem and drawing of a naked lady that is in there was not done by him and was done by Donald T. Trump.
Total different person.
So, yes, exactly.
So, um, who earns moment?
Yeah.
So, somebody, I think it was PBS that I looked it up on.
They had like the entire thing on their website.
So, I was rifling through it looking for fun tidbits.
And a lot of it's really hard to read because this is 2003 and it's written by a bunch of old white guys.
So, most of it's handwritten in like sloppy handwriting.
And this is photocopies of sloppy handwriting, which makes it even worse.
But I did find some stuff.
Aside from the things that people have been spreading around that I thought was interesting, like, here, let's see, where did I be?
Where's the beginning of this?
I'm trying to click back, but it was the back button from the screenshot I took because I'm a professional at this.
Okay, so they had this one.
It's got this picture of Epstein.
Apparently, he had this big, huge fro back in the day, you know, because he's Jewish.
So, and it reads like it's a personals ad or something.
It says, financial strategist Jeffrey Epstein, 27, talks only to people who make over a million a year!
If you're a cute Texas girl, write this New York Dynamo ad, and then there's an address.
And it's just something about it just struck me as weird.
Like this guy, everyone always talks about what a sexual dynamo this guy is, and he's putting out personal ads looking for a cute Texas girl.
And then there's, yeah, this one I have seen people putting around.
It says, Girls on my boat.
We picked up girls on beach, went out on boat.
I tell them with knife in my hand to take suits off.
But Warren tells, Don't worry, his name is JN.
He's just joking.
He lives at so and so.
I tell Mark to throw him into water.
He did.
And, I mean, aside from the serial killer sentence fragments that's in there, it's just this.
I think it's supposed to be like this cute story, like, hey, remember that time we had the girls on the boat and I told them to get naked or I cut them?
Power Office, cumprimier, two minutes, and 30 seconds.
He said, super that you can't have two teams in the same room, so it's not here.
There's a lot of people in the same room, there's a lot of people in the same room.
They're not face to face, they're face to face, they're all facing face to face.
And I said, I'm not going to be able to do this, but I'm not going to be able to do this.
So, I will go to the house and see how to do it.
The egg cream is our chef.
Hildewiz, a Rheinskap and Kilt.
Power Office, the free and Kilt Rheinskap.
The first one is a flour tank cream that my brave Bodentenner always has.
Paradontax is a dagly tank cream with natrium bicarbonate.
It is a very warm tank cream.
It is very salt, but it is a very good one.
The Rheinskap is unique.
Paradontax!
There was another.
There was another.
I went through the book too before everything happened with Kirk.
And there was another passage in there that was like a photo of him and another guy in like pantyhose and a ski mask on.
Yeah, I got that in here too.
Yeah.
And they told a similar story where it was supposed to seem like homies hanging out, but they talk about like brutally attacking a woman and kidnapping her from the beach, essentially.
Yeah.
I'll, yeah.
I'll, uh, I'll jump to that one since I do, since I have that one on here too.
Yeah.
It's, Two people, I think Epstein is the one on the left because it kind of looks like his face.
And the other one's wearing a ski mask, so you can only see his eyes.
But it says, finally, at the home of our friend, let's call him Mr. Brown.
That might be a Reservoir Dogs reference.
Jeffrey unveiled his plan.
To some, it may have seemed a get rich quick scheme, but to me, it was pure genius.
Rob and kill was the name of the plan.
The first victim, redacted, to be attacked and brutally plundered, parentheses, would she want more than that?
On the boardwalk in Venice Beach.
Broad daylight.
The dastardly thieves were never caught.
Postscript.
I retired from the life, but I recently read an article in New York which led me to believe that my old friend Mr. E had continued on and become an industry leader.
I'm guessing Mr. E is supposed to be Epstein.
I'm thinking, Mike, I mean, maybe this is a true story, but my guess is the guy saw this picture of the two of them dressed up like thugs and said, I'm going to make up a funny caption about it.
And that's what his twisted brain came up with.
But maybe, I don't know, maybe there is some truth to that.
I haven't heard anything about that from anywhere.
The whole thing you've recited to me, I didn't go into the book.
So I'm just like, wow, that's fucked up.
That's my only reaction to this.
Yeah.
And I mean, okay, you know, I'm a dude.
I, you know, I have friends who are dudes.
And not when we're 50, because I'm, well, not even 50 yet, but, you know, when we were younger, we would like to make edgy jokes like, you know, hey, I just got a new car.
I think I could fit four bodies in the trunk easy, you know, stuff like that.
So a lot of this reads like that.
But as I pointed out, it's coming from middle aged men, which kind of shifts the tenor of it a little bit.
Oh, just a touch.
Just a touch.
They're like sending it to a sex trafficking pedophile.
Honestly, reading this note, like reading it too, there's like dicks crudely drawn in a lot of the like images and just like really grotesque, like, perverted stories that it's like.
Yeah, it's a lot of frat boy humor coming from guys who make six figures and, you know, and stuff.
It's just weird.
But, uh, um, so here's another one.
Uh, this is part of a longer segment, but this was the part that caught my eye Concord Hotel, Jewish Singles Weekend.
Sit us down at table with ugly girls, and I told them, Don't you have any pretty ones?
Like, the way it reads, it sounds like he said that while the ugly girls were sitting there.
Right, exactly.
He's like, Yo, Uggos, get away from us.
We want the sexy ladies over here because I'm rich and powerful and can be a bully and a dick, and it's totally cool.
The next one here redacted and redacted.
Two very young girls.
Oh, this, yeah, this one I've seen put around.
So you might have heard this one already.
Two very young girls, probably just 17, and were riding in my father's caddy.
Park Avenue, top down, smooching it up in car, drop dead laughing.
You know, normal stuff here.
Yes.
Very normal.
Yeah.
Redacted the rabbi's daughter.
So this has a farmer's daughter feel to it.
Jeff would call the house rabbi's wife, wife, maybe?
I don't know.
And say, This is redacted father.
I would bring her up to your.
Oh, crap.
I just lost it.
Hang on.
I'm trying to zoom in and I lost it.
I would bring her up to your mother's house and make her take her top off so we could touch her boobs.
Her and Redacted would play together with toys.
It's like this is reading is like, you know, remember when this happened?
But it's all, yeah, I see the look on Stephanie's face.
Is this written by the Marquis de Sade?
Is this like the so called 120 Days of Sodom?
That's what I'm saying.
It's like, what the fuck are these people doing?
I used to have that book, and that's how the book.
There's no like cohesive plot structure that I could discern.
Like, Justine is a good book, and there's actually like an interesting parable of philosophy.
It's a great, it's well written, right?
But 120 Days of Sodom is basically it's like what you are writing, where it's little snippets that sound like perverted dreams.
Like, one of them is like a menstruating woman farts and then falls into a moat.
Like, it's that that's it's exactly like the stuff that you're it's so.
Bizarre.
It reads like 120 Days of Sodom.
I wonder if that's the book he wrote while he was in the asylum because I would explain a lot.
Yeah, yeah.
Here's the thing.
Like, when I was reading through it, I was just like, this feels like I shouldn't be reading this because it's a bunch of pervs recounting their creepy pedophile perv stories of one another.
And weird because I didn't say any of this, but it's also mixed in with these touching stories from his family.
Like, this letter from his old teacher about how he knew how bright he was and how good he was at math, and a letter from his father saying, I am so proud of you, my son.
And then the next letter is stories about chronic UTIs, prostate massage, orgies.
That's not the whole thing.
That's just the bit that I kept.
And then here's another one.
It looks like it's Jeffrey Epstein in a store.
It looks like he's in China or something.
And he's buying something at the store.
And the caption reads Are you sure this will make my winky grow?
You know, and then you'll read that.
And then it'll be like Here's your fourth grade English teacher to talk about that essay you wrote that really touched him.
It's just this bizarre mood whiplash going on.
And then here's one.
It's a picture of Ghislaine talking to somebody whose face is redacted.
And the caption reads, He promised you what?
With a question mark and two exclamation points.
And then, why did I say.
And then this one.
Okay, now this one's messed up because this one's from like a niece or something.
And it says, and it's like a picture of these people dancing.
It looks like it's something.
And then these.
These girls, like five girls at the top crying.
A very, very stick figure little girl kind of drawing.
And there's musical notes and it says, Here comes the bride all dressed in white.
Where is the groom?
He's in the ladies' room.
And then there's more, but I'm having trouble reading it.
But just, I mean, that's his niece making a joke about what a sex fiend her uncle is.
It's just weird shit.
There were other photos in there that were like, clearly, like, people getting caught in the act of like, changing or something, and their note to like Epstein in it was just like, oh, basically remember when you snuck in and took my picture, like there's no privacy around you kind of stuff, like even his friends are like you are a pervert.
Here's one of the perverted things you did, Stephanie.
Um well, I just okay.
What's a nice way of saying this without making it sound like i'm some big weirdo?
I know a lot about the bdsm culture.
Let's just leave it at that.
Um, And sometimes what you will see, and Epstein was in his own way involved in the BDSM culture.
They said like some of the books that they found were about like slave training and stuff like that.
Oftentimes, what you will see the normal people within that subculture, and then you'll see the people that want to take it too far, you know, and that there's always this like, you know, you can be a sadist or a masochist without.
Being a completely sick individual, you know, and a lot of BDS cultures actually encourage you to be thoughtful and you know, respectful and stuff.
Yeah, but there are some, and Epstein, I think, was and it's kind of funny because there are two Jeffreys who had a very, very similar objective.
They wanted slaves, Jeffrey Dahmer and Jeffrey Epstein, and they both went about it their own different way.
But there is this way that there is this point, and I think you will see it more with rich and powerful people.
I had a friend that used to work at a dungeon, and she said that she'd be like, there'd be lunch guys there on their breaks, like high-powered business executives and shit, and they would want her to beat the shit out of them.
Once you reach this point of supreme power, there are only two.
Ways to go.
You're either whipping other people or getting whipped yourself.
And Epstein, you know, because wealth, extreme wealth, is a disease.
I'm not saying that having the wealth is a disease, but what it does to you is a disease.
It's very like that, the last days of Rome, where, oh, I have a million dollars.
Well, let's get two million.
Epstein Dungeon Tales00:05:24
Or, you know, oh, I tied a girl up.
Well, let's see what else I can get her to do.
And you just keep.
It just keeps going.
And I just see that with Epstein, you know, knowing about the BDSM culture, I just see this, for lack of a better term, a perversion of, you know, what it is actually intended to be.
He didn't want to play master and slave like the Depeche Mode song, master and servant.
He wanted, just like Dahmer, he wanted people to actually be his slaves, whether they wanted, Or not, yeah, and I just wanted to make the commentary because it's just fascinating, like you know, how I don't know, it just weirds me out.
Uh, going back to what I was saying, um, but yes, I do agree with everything you're saying, but um, because I was glancing over this email while I was reading it, and it's a long one, so I'm not going to read the whole thing, but it's this big email from someone who uh Basically, they're saying that they were trying to come up with a story that they could tell that they felt like encapsulated their relationship with Epstein.
And let's see, I'm trying to find out where it actually starts.
Okay, however, there was one evening which I recall always had you howling with laughter.
And I'm going to warn you ahead of time, there's some very spicy details in here.
We were in Harry's bar in London, you, me, the old man, Toto, Redacted, and the usual extraordinary group of camp followers, Lord Long, Ian Crookshank, etc., etc.
Somehow, Toto got it into his head that Redacted was a call girl that doggie had fixed up for him.
After dinner, we all went off to tramps, and Toto and doggie went into the back of doggie's car with Redacted sitting between them.
Toto, grinning happily at the old man, reached down and pulled Redacted's skirt up to her panties.
And put his hand on her pussy.
The old man, smiling sweetly, leaned over, stuffed his hand into her pants so that Toto found his fingers playing with doggies.
Suddenly, the awful truth sunk in, but Toto was too shocked to remove his hand, so they drove to Tramps with both of them still trapped in Redacted's knickers.
Like, out of all the experiences this person has had with Jeffrey Epstein, he's like, this is the story that resonates the most with me.
Remember that time the two of us sexually assaulted that lady?
Wasn't that a trip?
Wasn't that?
That was just crazy.
That was just good times.
Just partying, you know, as one does.
Like, that was a thing that came out I saw about someone saying that, like, Trump doesn't understand why everyone's so gung ho for the Epstein files because, like, the 90s in Florida were just a different thing back then.
And it was like, oh, those raping 90s.
I remember that.
Yeah.
It's just a really, yeah, it's truly magical and enchanting, both of these things.
And here's the last one I saved.
Mostly it's pictures, but this is the setup to it.
So he said, So in the end, I have wound up with a silly excuse for a missive.
It's this bad poem, but neither profound nor funny.
But I've included a few photos that I took on my recent trip to Africa.
They seem more appropriate than anything I could put in words.
And then following that is about seven or eight pictures of animals with either exposed genitalia or openly having sex with each other.
It's like, Jeffrey, I was in Africa.
I saw animals fucking and I thought of you.
As one does, again, as one does.
Yeah.
It's just, it's so it really opens your eyes to this insane lifestyle these people had.
And you kind of get to see why, why, why maybe people were willing to look the other way on the, on, on the, on the kitty diddling stuff.
Cause it's like, that must have seemed kind of like just, just a toe over the line in comparison to the other shit they were doing.
Yeah.
Party foul, right?
Exactly.
Oh, god, yeah, truly, absolutely just insane, yeah, just insane stuff.
And then I go, going ahead, a couple nude photos in there that were redacted, thankfully.
But, um, oh, oh, thank goodness.
Oh, boy, I heard that.
Sorry, no, no, go on.
I was just going to repeat something I said earlier, so go on.
I heard that new files that were released by the oversight committee revealed more info about Bannon, Peter Thiel, and Elon Musk being in some of these files.
Yeah, I've been hearing about that.
This is always my bellwether for how big these stories are getting.
Grief and Office Space Jokes00:04:01
My mom heard about it.
And if my mom heard about it, then everybody's talking about it.
Yeah.
That's often how I gauge my news too.
If my mom asks me a question, I'm like, oh boy, this is breach containment.
Yeah.
Oh yeah, that's breach containment or escape the bubble.
Those are like my favorite things for how I see things.
When my mom brings up something that's in the news, it really freaks me out because she's been dead for over 20 years.
Yes.
Okay, Steph, I'm not kidding though.
You're talking about.
Your mom being dead.
My dad died only a couple years ago and I joke about it all the time.
I literally joked about I made a joke the day he literally fucking died.
Yeah yeah, my dad and I did too right right right, when they were declaring you're dead, we looked at each other and he goes, well, there goes our uh, there goes our referee.
It's just like the like I will not be scolded that I can't make a joke right now.
No like, I laugh about the people that I actually love being dead.
Like, please give me a break.
Um, and and laughter is like that's Part of the grieving process.
It's actually a very, I mean, every comedian is depressed.
Every comedian is a naturally depressed person.
That's why they turn to comedy.
You know, I mean, yeah.
I'm definitely not depressed and I don't know what any of this is.
But I mean, a little bit of morbidity is actually healthy, you know?
Yeah.
Like, I've avoided making any kind of jokes regarding my dad being dead, mostly because I figure it would make the other person uncomfortable, not because I think it's over the line.
Yeah, and I'm sorry about your dad, too.
We all are missing one parent here in this.
This is a one parent podcast.
Mike's happy about his.
I'd say, yeah, Mike's not missing him.
Mike's not missing him.
I'm not missing him.
Fuck that guy.
I'm so glad he's dead.
It's like the joke from Office Space.
So I hear you've been missing a lot of work lately.
Well, I wouldn't say I've been missing it, Bob.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
No.
It was really funny.
Like a couple days ago, I don't exactly know how this, like, so basically my mom was like reading this book and then she like continued.
She was talking about like the hardships the characters had gone through and stuff like that.
And then, like, out of nowhere, she said, like, how, like, you didn't have a dad when you grew up.
And I'm like, mom, I haven't.
Complained about that in decades.
I haven't like said anything.
And I'm like, how is this book being used as a way to veer into some sort of attack on me about me complaining about being fatherless?
And by the way, hate that guy.
Glad he's dead.
Fuck him.
So it was really funny.
It was just like this really odd thing where suddenly, like, I haven't, I mean, I haven't complained about not being, not having a father raise me.
I don't know.
Since my 20s, and maybe not even then, because like I understood the situation was which was that, like, after my parents divorced, my dad fled to Arizona to avoid paying child support.
So, like, uh, yeah, that guy have no use for him.
So, uh, yeah, it's where deadbeats go to escape paying money to their children.
I was gonna say it's where people thinks go to die, literally.
Well, actually, he came back to Massachusetts, I found out, like, uh, he came.
I don't know where he was when he passed, but I do know that at some ill defined point in his life, he was back around here.
Because when I was like breaking into capitalism and doing my time at McDonald's, one of my co workers was like, Oh, yeah, I know your dad.
Comey Crimes Indictment00:09:31
He's pretty cool.
And I'm like, No, he's not.
Fuck you.
And she was like, No, I hang out with your stepsisters.
You should like, and I'm like, I will never do that.
You are barking up the wrongest tree.
And it was just like, how about that?
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah.
So, yeah.
So, I was just thinking, I just happened to run into a couple of people who knew some old friends of mine.
And it was like, it was like, it was like, oh, hey, tell them I say hi.
And then, you know, here's the polar opposite of it.
Yes.
Yeah.
Literally that.
Yeah.
Just like, man, no.
Hard pass.
Hard pass on that dude.
So, hey, why don't we wrap things up with the ultra exciting and very entertaining.
Indictment of James Comey.
Oh, yes.
For priming all the crimes.
All the worst crimes.
Like treason, seditious conspiracy, openly aiding Al Qaeda.
Jaywalking.
Well, they got him for jaywalking.
I was trying to sex it up a little.
And you were like, no, Mike, I'm going to tell the people what he was actually indicted for.
And it's like, no, he wasn't.
I literally don't know what he was.
Well, here's the thing.
I don't think the GOJ knows what he's indicted for yet either.
No, they really don't.
Like, yeah.
And the thing, what blows my mind about this is it's just that we have created.
My question didn't he actually help Trump win?
Because it was he that won.
Yes.
Yes.
Thank you.
Why?
Oh, go ahead.
No, but I mean, it's just this ridiculously in this alternate reality where I see these people posting stuff online where they're just saying, you know, No one's above the law.
Comey knew what he did.
This is the chickens coming to roost.
And people are replying to these people and explaining how this is a sham prosecution.
The actual person in that district resigned rather than try the case.
The hand picked lawyer Trump put in that spot to do this has never prosecuted a case in her life.
She's an insurance lawyer, her job is making sure that people haven't committed insurance fraud.
She doesn't deal with criminal stuff.
She like missigned the indictment document before the grand jury, which led to all kinds of questions.
And like the judge was like, The judge is like, Is this your document?
And she's like, I've never seen it before.
And the judge is like, But you signed it.
So how did you not see it if you signed it?
And so, like, the lawyer they have running this case doesn't know how to run a trial.
They have no experience.
They threw this case together because this was the last week before statute of limitations would have expired on the statements made in this case, which may not even be the statements from what I'm reading, because they're trying to indict him for something he said in a hearing in 2020.
But the people that are digging into it are saying that he was really talking about stuff he said in 2017.
So if that's what you're indicting him for, you can't.
So it's a mess.
And what's really funny is I've seen. Empty Wheel, one of the like law people on Twitter, she's been saying that, like, if this actually goes to trial, they're going to put Ted Cruz on the stand and destroy him because Ted Cruz was like lying his ass off trying to get like Comey to say something in this actual testimony.
And it's just insane.
And the other thing about all of this is that in Trump's first term, this whole perjury, false statements, bullshit.
There, the Trump administration at that time said that we side with Andrew McCabe.
We actually signed with Comey against McCabe on the he said, he said about who's lying about this.
And they were going to try to indict McCabe over this.
And then they failed to indict McCabe.
So now, years later, they're going to try to indict the guy that in Trump's first term, they said he had the right of it in this conversation and that McCabe was likely the one.
That was fudging the facts.
Now they're going to pivot and be like, oh, no, no, we were wrong.
McCabe was right.
Comey was wrong.
And so, like, the actual charge is ridiculous.
And then, on top of that, Comey's lawyers are going to have the easiest selective prosecution case in the history of the universe to make, seeing as how Trump is just constantly posting on social media, James Comey is a piece of shit.
He needs to go to jail.
He needs to go to jail for forever for his crimes, his crimes that I demanded my DOJ charge him with.
And they did because I ordered it, me, the president.
So, oh my God.
Like, Trump is making a layup of a case.
Like he's lowering the rim another foot to make that layup even smoother for the defense attorneys.
So, everything about this is a joke.
And yet, if you go online and argue with people about this, they will act like this is a real case that was honestly made in good faith and that Comey has committed crimes and he'll be convicted for them and he's going to go to jail.
It's just, we have broken reality.
We no longer have a shared reality in this country.
And it's.
Really alarming that that's where we're at, where an obviously frivolous case put together just as an act of political vengeance against somebody Trump hates.
People are just absolutely pretending, yep, totally legitimate case.
Well, well worked.
Great job, Miss AG Bondi, getting the right people to handle this.
Everything's going great.
No muss, no fuss.
We got this.
We got this, bros.
And it's like, no, you don't got this.
You have literally nothing.
This is.
The weakest tea imaginable.
I can't wait for them to try to indict Soros for his crimes and all the rest of this nonsense they're like promising us.
They better hurry up because Soros is like 180.
What was that, Haley?
I said they're writing anti ICE on his bullets right now.
Yes, yes, exactly.
Oh, yeah.
Well, the um, like Trump is going after everyone he has a beef with, and I don't know that this is the only reason, but I don't know if you saw a few weeks back it said that he was he wanted to like.
Bring the September 11th Memorial Museum under federal control or something like that.
And one of the reasons is because when they were going over the rebuild, he submitted his own design and he was like really all about having this be his and stuff.
And he has some kind of beef against Bloomberg, who actually helped found the museum.
So Trump is just going after every single person that he has any type of beef with.
Of course.
And we were promised this during the campaign, and our media just didn't care.
Just absolutely.
If elected, I will rain down my terrible vengeance upon my enemies.
And the press was like, Oh, Kamala's up two in Pennsylvania.
Back to you, Bob.
And it's like, Can we talk about what Trump's actually planning to do if he wins?
It's like, No, we got another poll out of Nevada.
Oh, boy.
Trump up three and a half.
This is real interesting.
It's going to be a real barn burner.
It's like, Can we talk about the stakes and not the polls?
Nope.
Can't do that.
Fuck you.
Just oh my god, sorry, they're a little busy right now interviewing Jack Posobiak non stop and like rewriting the history of Charlie Kirk.
They'll have to get back, right?
Exactly, exactly.
Yeah, it's great, it's great.
Yeah, so, yep, this is our magical country, this is America, it's where we're at now.
So, uh It's only going to get better.
We got three more years of this.
It's magical.
I know.
I keep saying that.
I'm like, we're not even a year in.
Yep.
And it's just fucking crazy already.
Oh, yeah.
Sorry.
Go ahead.
We were promised all of this.
This was all a guarantee when this was happening.
That's fucked.
Elect this guy and we're fucked.
And it was like, yep, great.
That's one thing that gets me because, like, you know, a reporter asking him, are you.
Is this Comey thing you taking revenge on a political opponent?
He's like, no, no, no, I'm not taking, I never would want to take revenge on a political opponent.
When he sat there on the stage and said, If you elect me, I will take revenge on all of my political opponents.
Yes.
So he's doing exactly what he said he would do.
And then the press is like, Are you doing exactly what you said you would do?
And he said, No.
And they're like, Okay, sir.
Pantera Challenge Mode00:03:04
Thank you for answering my question.
Yeah, exactly.
Oh, boy.
Yep.
Going great.
Just great.
So, anyone have anything good going on in their lives?
My son recently joined the Cub Scouts, and we're going to be selling popcorn for a fundraiser.
Oh, that's nice.
Yeah.
Overpriced popcorn.
Hot corn?
Yes, that's what I said.
Yes, they've changed the Scout law to thrifty, brave, clean, and high.
Yeah, the Cubs have gotten really crazy.
I'm trying to earn my Grateful Dead badge, man.
That's.
Yeah, what about you, Seth?
Anything good going on?
Well, I just made the album cover that I always envisioned making, but now I actually have the photo editing skills to do it.
Was that the Pantera one you showed us?
Yeah, yeah, Pantera, vulgar display of flower, and he's punching a bag of flour.
That was hilarious.
I loved that.
Thank you.
There has to be other people out there who had that idea.
It's just too easy.
It's like right there.
I know.
My friends and I always called it Pantera bread.
And I made, I took my cat's head and put it on a Barbie doll.
Not real, not real, digitally.
This is all digitally.
And I like dressed her up and I made a whole bunch of dolls of my cat for my Sims game and stuff.
And I'm just, I think I'm going to be ready to learn Blender soon, which is like 3D modeling.
But the fact that I'm like learning all this stuff and I'm having so much fun and I'm not letting little roadblocks stop me, that's A huge transformative thing for me.
So I love this.
My only real problem with the Pantera thing you did is that, you know, Phil Anselmo is a Nazi.
Other than that, great.
Yeah, they did the, what was it, Stormtroopers SOV?
Yeah, Stormtroopers of Death.
Yeah, and then he did a Nazi salute and yelled white power at a concert and stuff.
Yeah, but yeah, you know, I'm just making fun of.
I know.
No, it's a good joke.
It's a good joke.
I just wish the source material was a bit more worthy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've been thinking of ways of like, I want to play around with some more record covers and like maybe I'll put Where's Waldo in the Sgt. Pepper's album cover or something.
I don't know.
I want to start kind of playing around with it some more.
You'd be about the only person who isn't in that cover, too.
All right, Mike, you got anything you want to brag about?
Hades 2 Storyline Payoff00:02:21
Hades 2 has reached version 1.0.
It's been released.
The public version of Hades 2 is out.
Now you've beaten it 50 times?
I mean, I beat it 50 times in early access.
That's what I meant, yeah.
Yeah, I almost beat the challenge mode.
You played Hades, so you know how you get heat in Hades 1.
In Hades 2, there's fear.
And I beat like the 16 fear run.
So the next run I have to do is the 32 fear run to beat the game at the highest level of difficulty for like a normal person.
So I get to do that.
I'm going to try that.
But it was very nice to beat the game in 1.0 and get the ending for after you.
It's just like in Hades 2, you have two runs.
You can go up to Mount Olympus, or you can go down.
Through the bowels of the underworld and fight Kronos.
And beating Kronos and getting to like the storyline ending start was like, oh shit, this is like what I was waiting for in early access for like years.
So it was like, oh man, this is sweet.
So that was like really fun.
Cause like basically, when you beat Kronos in early access, you like walked into a room and it's like game over.
And it was like, no.
But now you actually get to start doing, uh, Spoilers for Hades 1 for you people who haven't played that game.
It's been six years, so go to hell.
But basically, imagine beating Hades 1 and then not starting the Persephone storyline.
That's basically what Early Access Hades 2 was.
Imagine just beating Hades, and after you beat him, you just die, and then you just have to start the game over.
So when you actually beat Hades 2 in version 1.0, you begin your version of the Persephone storyline, where you're like, oh, this is what Melanoe is supposed to be doing.
This is how the story actually pays itself off.
So, like, that's where we're at now.
And I'm like, oh, cool.
So, like, now I only have to do this like nine more times and I'll complete the storyline.
So, that's cool.
So, yeah.
So, I was very happy about that.
Haley Memorial Glamm Up00:03:16
Okay.
Haley, have you done anything, anything happy going on in Haley world?
No.
I knew it.
I knew it.
I was waiting for Haley to say that she was going to eat something, take a nap, or no.
Yeah, well.
The option landed hard on no.
I still have not had an actual day off since Kirk died.
I'm not kidding.
God, that's so oh my god.
Finish.
Yeah, it's just I do actually work in the field.
So I've been, one, having to deal with a lot of stuff, just fallout here, because it's headquartered here, and he lived here, and then just actually covering it to write about.
So I've been going to the vigils, which there's been many, and obviously the big memorial, which wiped me the fuck out for like days and was just disturbing on the mind.
Because you were grieving so much.
I was grieving a lot, and it definitely wasn't stinky as fuck at that.
By chance, did you guys see how much trash?
Yeah, I did see that picture of Mount Olympus of garbage.
I literally don't even understand.
Like, I get it, like, you can't bring stuff in, but it's like, why did you bring.
Your entire house to the thing, to the, to stand in line.
It was wild and it was like it's still a hundred degrees here and it's been storming, so like everything was just hot and wet and it was just like okay, this is the worst fucking smell I've ever smelled.
I'm literally I have two more days of work, for sure, and then I am gonna try to sleep on Monday and Tuesday and it's gonna be awesome.
Actually, I'm gonna try to sneak in as many days of sleep next week as possible.
Um, but I'm about to go see a friend, so I did my hair kooky.
And you guys got to kind of see that build up as we did the pod.
Yeah, I was wondering what you were doing.
I thought you were like checking.
For lice or something.
I'm a guy, so my hair care consists of running my fingers through it in the morning.
You do cool stuff to your hair, though.
Are you going to see what's her name?
You don't have to mention her name, but the girl that we hung out with the last time I saw you?
Yes, yes, I am.
Okay.
We like to look for her.
I forgot her name, but I'm sorry that I forgot her name, but tell her I said hello.
I will.
Yeah.
My partner in crime, as I call them.
You guys always, you guys, oh, like, the last time we hung out, she was kind of like dressed like a clown or something like that.
Like, you guys always do this cute little thing, like, when you go out, and it's so adorable.
We do.
We do.
A lot of people are always like, wow, you guys got a lot going on.
But yeah, that's what I'm looking at.
I'm going to see my friend, which is fun.
I love that we had to, like, suss that out of Haley.
Haley, anything fun going on?
No, fuck off.
And then, like five minutes later, oh no, I'm actually going to hang out with my bestie.
And that's why I've been getting all glammed up for her.
Five Star Review Thanks00:02:21
It's going to be great.
Haley's just an onion.
You've just got to peel back so many layers until you get to the actual, like, non nihilism, non resentment at society.
Like, you know, beneath the Daria is a strawberry shortcake.
Okay.
Anyhow, that will wrap up this week's episode.
Thank you all for listening.
Five star review on whatever platform you're listening to us to help us get into the algorithm so that maybe more than a few people will listen to us.
Beyond that, patreon.comslash poker politics.
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If you want to listen to me talking to a bunch of ladies who really don't understand football that well, but they go along with it because it's fun, check out my Chicks with Picks podcast.
It's incredible.
We have like 10 listeners.
It's amazing.
You can see it on YouTube.
You can see my face on YouTube.
It's incredible.
You'll love it.
I'm a Fat guy with a beard.
It's truly magical.
I'm one of one.
There's no one else in America like that.
So thanks to DJ Minimal Effort and Frosty for the bumps and the audio.
Thank you all for listening and never forget that Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone in the assassination of President Kennedy.
Jens Sidhe presented a new Heldi-Barkering in 1958.
Yes, there we go, we're going to the window.
Yes, we're going to the gas, gas, gas.
And a new Heldi-Barkering in the day.
Now, on the Massapras, we'll stop for the people who are in the fridge.
Jens Sidhe has the old words of a small store in the world.
And then, let's go for it.
Let's go to Jens Sidhe.
What will it be exactly at our turn?
Are there castles out for a clip?
Are there stop-up-principes in a storm-a-kritic?
Our motive and terror are to act on the verandering of the world.
Frikkloos is a podcast for discussing, not about this.