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May 12, 2025 - Adventures in HellwQrld
01:37:17
Adventures in HellwQrld Presents: George Floyd Part 2, we meet the God of Breathing

This week we get into the nuts and bolts of the George Floyd case and Mike talks about how the God of Breathing made it clear that Floyd was killed by the police and nothing else. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Teksting av Nicolai Winther
Teksting av Nicolai Winther The Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in-depth about QAnon.
While it's meant to be comedic informative, sometimes we have to get into things like child abuse and violence against people.
Listener discretion advised.
Hello everybody and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld.
This week with both our opening bumps working.
Increíble!
This week I am joined by Chaley, a.k.a.
Haley, a.k.a.
the Newer Pope.
I'm the newer Pope.
I am usurping the current Pope who just got announced earlier today, listeners, chat.
But I'm going to, you know, remember when there was like a two Pope situation?
I'm the second one.
Now we're also joined by Eric, the Deep State operative, who can actually ask the Pope, cubs or socks?
Yeah, I was in my front room, you know, looking for my garage key because I wanted to head down to DeJules over on Kedzie over by there, just pick up a couple treat things.
And I see the Pope is from Chicago.
So, yeah, I got to hit him up, ask him, do you go to Portillo's or what?
Was that like Australian?
No, that's the accent from a certain city that starts with a C, ends with an O, and has Hickok in the middle.
And it's all about Ditka.
All about Ditka.
Yeah, coach.
Yes.
And we are also joined by Stephanie, who has no ties to the current Pope.
I think the new Pope is a person.
Okay.
Bold.
Correct.
Bold.
Going out on a thin branch there.
That's about all I know.
A human from somewhere in the United States.
Yeah.
Haley mentioned that when we found out that he was from America, like, Jack V. Sobiek was just over the moon, and then they found out he was woke Pope, and that he was very mad.
He's literally there.
He is there live.
He was live streaming.
He filmed himself, like, running when the white smoke, like, got, you know, came out.
And he was like, the new Pope has been announced!
And then when it was announced that he was an American, he was so excited, and now he's just been absolutely on a tweet storm complaining about this new Pope.
Him, Laura Loomer, and all of those types.
All of them.
He's from a blue sanctuary city.
It's all bad.
He doesn't tweet that much, but he tweeted a few times this year, and it's all been either like...
Shut the fuck up, J.D. Vance.
Not literally those words, but in Pope speak.
Yes.
And a few other things that were just kind of like, fuck Trump, fuck Trump.
Fuck Bukele.
And this whole Kilmar Abrego Garcia situation.
So I think he has some problematic things, but there is some base things, so we'll take it.
Because I was scared we were going to get Nazi Pope, honestly.
Well, I was...
I mean, because...
As a Catholic, I did keep a bit of an eye on this, and I know that Pope Francis, he basically stacked the deck.
He created a whole bunch of new cardinals, and he made sure they were progressive from a Catholic standpoint, like him.
So we were pretty confident that this was going to be a fairly liberal pope coming in.
Yeah, I just love that we...
The immediate reaction to him was like, oh no, whoa, boo, boo!
These children, these absolute children who just can't stand any pushback on their beliefs at all.
It's really funny you brought up Bloomer because she's having a fit and freaking out.
And when she's not pissed off about Pam Bondi?
Or everything else?
The Bondi shit.
The Bondi shoot is causing such a massive schism inside the right-wing crypto sphere right now.
I just saw, like, Brian Cage was like, I just have to block Loomer.
Like, I just can't stand her anymore.
Yeah.
I think it's kind of interesting, though, having, like, a slightly, I won't say progressive yet, because I don't know all his views, but a little bit more lib-leaning Pope from America in a time when, like, you know, Trump tweeted that.
AI image of the Pope and a lot of right-wingers like J.D. Vance and Posobiec and Nick Fuentes and these terrible people blame Catholicism and project a very hateful stance through Catholicism, but there's also Catholic groups that do water drops at the border and do really cool things.
Good thing, maybe, for American Catholics to get a little bit of a woke Pope, if that's what he is.
But I don't know.
I really feel like this guy was sort of a reaction to that fucking tweet by Trump.
I really feel like the conclave got in there and was just like, oh, you want to be the Pope now, do you, motherfucker?
I saw...
I saw a quick clip.
A reporter asked him, do you regret posting that picture of yourself as the Pope?
And his response was basically, next question.
He is the most blameless human being who has ever been president.
And the media does nothing to call him out on anything he does.
Yeah, I know.
I was impressed if somebody actually asked him that.
I was like, okay, somebody finally is not necessarily holding his feet to the fire, but at least lighting a candle, you know?
Right.
Someone was just like, yo, Trump, that was kind of a...
That was a bit of a faux pas, wouldn't you say?
Kind of a blaspheme.
Right.
It's like, yo, Donald Trump, don't you think this is going to blasphemous and anti-Catholic?
And he's like, no, I don't.
I think it's hilarious.
I'm stupid and senile.
I just...
It blows my mind.
It just blows my mind that this fucking guy that we're in this stage of his...
Just senility that he is just sitting behind the Oval Office desk just answering.
He can't even stand behind a lectern and talk to these people.
He has to be in the Oval Office behind the desk answering questions and eventually they shoo him out.
They shoo the press out and that's it.
It's just like...
Yeah, because he needs the prestige of the Resolute desk and everything, so you don't notice that he's this feeble old man whose skin looks like a hamburger that's been on the grill for too long.
Yeah, I mean, it's all that.
I mean, the dude is a million years old.
He obviously can't stand for an hour in front of the press and talk to them, so his handlers waddle him into the room, sit him before the Resolute desk, then they wave the press in.
The press asks their dumb questions for 45 minutes to an hour.
Then they shoo the press out.
Then they grab the president and put him back in the attic and feed him fish heads until he is to be summoned for the next press gaggle the next day.
And that's the thing.
The thing that is always just so mind-blowing about all of this is whenever they ask him questions and he's just like, I have no idea what you're talking about.
You should talk to that department.
No one in the press looks at him and goes, yo, motherfucker, you're the president.
The buck stops with you.
You have to be on top of all this shit.
He said he doesn't know if it's his job to uphold the Constitution, and the president's like, well...
That's an answer.
Yes!
Yeah, it's that.
It's just, no one, I mean, fuck easy mode.
This dude is playing politics on God mode, and he still lost an election.
That's how bad he is at this.
Someone brought this up a while ago, but it's like, Donald Trump ran for president after decades of building his brand.
So he had 100% name recognition.
His name is cool as fuck.
He immediately just ingratiates himself to the Republican base.
Now they're locked in with him to the death.
And with all of these advantages, he still lost the popular vote to Hillary, and then he still lost to Joe Biden.
Sleepy Joe!
This flavorless ball of tapioca defeated Donald Trump in an election, and it wasn't close.
Donald Trump lost by 7 million votes to this guy.
When he was, again, just playing politics on God mode.
It's just so unbelievable to me.
And then he does a little insurrection.
He just tries to overthrow the government.
And our press is like, now, now, Donald.
Be nice.
Don't insurrection too often.
I feel like a lot of the media, I've mentioned this before, I just feel like a lot of the media failed to understand exactly what J6 was even.
Like, when the J6 hearing, the congressional hearing committee on J6 happened, I feel like a lot of media people were learning in real time that it was a coup attempt.
And it's just like, dude, where the fuck were you people?
You know?
Yeah, exactly.
It's like, you guys, he tried to overturn a fucking election.
He tried to stay in power illegally.
What the fuck did you think was happening there?
And this isn't even getting into the stolen electorate.
This isn't the fraudulent electorate scams and the alternate slates they were working on.
There were multi-prongs to this shit.
And our press was like, la, la, la, can't hear you.
La, la, la.
Trump's just a wacky old man.
La, la, la.
It's like, oh, my God.
Oh, my fucking God.
Are we...
When I've brought up...
I've said this before Trump came into power again.
I said, if Donald Trump gets elected again, we're never going to have another election.
And Trump himself even fucking said that.
But when I say that to people...
Including my husband.
They're like, oh, you sound like a conspiracy theorist.
No, I'm not a conspiracy theorist.
Trump himself said it.
And January 6th itself was evidenced before Trump ever said it.
And history shows us that the more openly and corrupt people are about committing their crimes, the less likely they are to go quietly.
Yeah, okay, so how I just said that, like, you know, I feel like the media failed to understand what January 6th, like, some media, obviously some understood, but failed to understand what January 6th was.
Like, sometimes I'll mention that I woke up early that day, like, when I'm talking to media people, I'll be like, oh yeah, I woke up early that day to, like, go to my local one because, like, I knew shit was gonna go down.
They're like, how did you know?
And it's like, how did you not know?
And yeah, I...
You know, I feel like a lot of people don't, they're kind of being like, you're being hysterical, Trump's not going to try for a third term, and he's pretty openly saying it, and I'm not saying, I'm not being like a doomer and saying that it's going to happen, but I think they are going to try some shit.
That's just my opinion.
I agree.
I just think that their horse, the wagon they've hitched their horse to is just not great.
Trump's probably going to be incapable of speech by the time we get to 2028.
Yeah.
And it's just going to be this kind of thing where either they go full Theoden Grima with him or they're just like, it's okay, Donnie, you can run for a third term.
You can do it.
And then they're like, oh, God, we have to run J.D. Vance.
Oh, we're fucked.
No, the couch is fucked.
Can we just make a recreation of an Oval Office inside a retirement home and tell him that he's still president?
That's a good idea.
Or just put a little resolute desk in a flaming cyber truck.
You mean a cyber truck?
Yeah, flaming is redundant.
You said Cybertruck twice.
Right, exactly.
All right, we're at the almost 15 minute, and you know what?
I'm going to transition here by saying that one of the reasons that the right does not like this current Pope is because he spoke out during the George Floyd uprising and was supportive of Black Lives Matter at the time.
How dare he?
How dare he?
So that is what we are continuing on today, folks.
Transition, boom.
Mike's eating, though.
I just wanted to remind people, and it kind of taps into something that Haley said, that there are still good religious people out there, and it's sad that we have to say that because by the very notion, the premise...
Of the concept of religiosity.
We shouldn't have to say that there are good ones and bad ones.
The premise of religion itself is to be a good person.
And I just...
When you think of religious people today, at least for me, I just imagine nothing but hate.
And that could be a lot from my Asshole father.
I say it a lot.
There's nothing that Republican Christians hate more than the teachings of Jesus Christ.
Literally, yeah.
Like, I am definitely, you know, like, I was raised in a Christian cult, like Jehovah's Witness, and I am kind of, I was like an annoying atheist teenager, and I do definitely have some, like, grudges, but because I deal...
I work in the, you know, just like dealing with hate.
A lot of hate in America is like multi-pronged.
So it's like, you know, Jewish people, Muslim people, progressive, Catholic and Christian groups, you know, that like, except gay people are often targeted.
And I've met in the course of like the Arizona Rhyme Watch stuff, just like a ton of amazing religious people that do.
Like, so much more work than I can ever imagine to do to do good in the community.
And, yeah, so there are good...
There are definitely some pretty good people who actually follow, like, what religion is supposed to be, allegedly.
And I just needed to say that because, like, it's been hard for me to find good things in the world right now.
I think it's been hard for a lot of people, and I think...
You know, just the little that I know about this Pope that he spoke out in defense of George Floyd, like, that shouldn't be a controversial thing because that's a human reaction.
That's why it shouldn't be controversial.
So I just, I don't want a hopium.
I want actual hope.
And, you know, I'm not religious in the slightest, but maybe this new Pope could help things, you know?
Agreed.
What I was gonna say is, like, what Haley was saying is, like, when I was a teenager, I was, like, a prick atheist.
I was, like, one of these dirtbag atheists.
Same.
Hey, nice God you got there.
Shame he isn't fucking real.
Boom!
How do you like that?
Guess what happens when you die?
Fucking nothing!
Your parents aren't looking down at you from heaven.
They're dead and they're gone.
So you were like if Chris Hitchens was a bro.
But it's like now we've crossed the streams to the point where now we have prick Christians, which is so antithetical to the concept of Christianity, where you have Jack Posobiec and Nick Fuentes saying, Christ is king!
And by that I mean I hate black people!
And it's just like, what are we fucking doing here?
Like, how are you using the tenets of Christianity to justify your racism and misogyny?
I don't remember who it was, but I saw some guy on Twitter who was having a back-and-forth with Posobiec, and the guy was asking, and Posobiec asked him, you know, will you just say Christ is king?
And he responded, yes, he is.
And then he dropped this Bible verse that includes the other word, you know, the king of kings and the lord of lords.
I saw that.
And then Posobiec's...
Yelling at him.
And he goes, so I have to literally say those three words in that order or it doesn't count.
Right.
Yeah.
And people were talking about how that's like woke right where like you have to perform the ritual exactly the way they want you to perform the ritual or else you're doing it wrong and now you get cancelled because you're not doing the ritual properly.
Mike, you just signaled the bat signal in my brain of something that I wanted to talk about this episode.
Go ahead, Flores.
Because this is becoming more popular, this term woke right, and we've been seeing it a lot this week with the Shiloh Hendrix situation, which is also kind of relevant to the George Floyd stuff because it was essentially this white woman who appears to, in my opinion, have a Mjolnir on her hand.
I feel like...
Yeah, anyways.
And she saw a young black boy at the park.
Who was like, I don't even know.
I don't know what he was doing.
She claims he was like digging through like a toy that wasn't his or something.
But she started calling him the N-word.
And it was all filmed and put on wine.
And like hard R N-word with her baby in hand, flipping him off.
And it's like a young five-year-old with autism.
And this went incredibly viral for...
Two reasons.
Like, essentially people being outraged.
Like, holy shit, this lady is a demon.
And just like people who are like, this is going to be our new white martyr.
She is going to become rich off of this.
She had a GoFundMe.
Or a Give, Send, Go.
Give, Send, Go, yeah.
The same guys that Carmelo Anthony has a fund set up with.
They're both give, send, go.
Give, send, go, they don't delete stuff.
Like, there's, like, legit neo-Nazis that fundraise off of that shit.
And so she's raised over $700,000.
And a lot of just, like, right-wing commentators have kind of had even this divide internally amongst themselves.
Like, should we be giving money to this person?
Like, Ben Shapiro, for example, put out a video that said, like, don't give money to crappy people.
Meanwhile, Matt Walsh put out a video saying, like, you know, donating to Shiloh Hendrix is, like, a way to kill the woke culture of, like, BLM, the George Floyd era.
A lot of people are using this as kind of, like, an excuse to just continue to shit on George Floyd all these years later.
Or Carmelo, Anthony.
Or just any of this kind of, like, anti-black racism that is currently, like, incredibly just festering on the right.
And some people, specifically James Lindsay, have started to, about a year ago, started to coin this term woke right, which is just a conservative drifter's way of, like, not accepting that there's Nazis within their camps.
And acting like they're actually woke and calling it woke right.
So they call Nick Fuentes woke right because he's anti-Semitic and anti-Black and anti-LGBTQ.
They call Candace Owens woke right or that Ian Carroll.
It's just basically a way to say that there's Holocaust deniers and anti-Semites and actual Nazis.
But we can't call them that because we don't use those words.
So we're going to say woke right.
Yeah, because they see woke as being racist, so therefore if you're a racist Republican, you're woke.
Yeah, so this is just a hilarious phrase that is now becoming popular.
And I do see people that have been called woke right, like Matt Walsh and Fuentes and all them, complain about the phrase.
Basically being like, oh, James Lindsay just said something for a year and now it's a term.
Which is exactly how the critical race theory shit happened, is that literally James Lindsay just kept saying it until it was in the ecosystem, and here we are today.
So it's like, well, there you go, buds.
So that's kind of a rundown on some current news that's a little bit tied to George Floyd at the moment.
Actually, there was something I wanted to mention about the Carmelo Anthony, Shiloh Hendricks thing, because there was this tweet that I saw, and I posted a screenshot of it on Twitter.
It was this account who they posted side-by-side, the give-send-goes for both of them, and in it...
Shiloh Hendrix has about $7,000 more raised than Carmelo Anthony.
And what they said in the tweet was, we're in the lead, monumental.
And it's like, okay, I mean, how can you...
Like, unless this person thinks they're getting some of Shiloh Hendrix's money, what exactly do they mean by we?
Who's we here?
White people.
Exactly.
But, you know, they'll deny it.
They'll be like, no, this has nothing to do with race.
And I'm like, yes, but you're referring to the white person's gifts and go as we.
Like, this is a victory for all white people.
By chance, did you guys see what happened at that, like, Dave Portnoy bar this weekend?
Where, like, some people ordered the, like, high-end bar service that comes with, like, a sign, and they had it say, fuck the Jews.
Yes, and then David Portnoy started crying.
Oh, it was a huge deal.
Wait, it was Portnoy.
Sorry.
Barstool Sports?
He's, like, a guy.
Okay, okay.
He's big for being a bro.
He, like, reviews pizza and opens bars and he talks sports.
Oh, cool.
Is that...
I don't know.
Is that kind of a good description of Bordeaux?
I mean, that's like the whole pizza review thing.
That's kind of like...
That's where he wants to be seen as.
He wants to be seen as a bro-y dude.
He doesn't want all that right-wing smoke that comes with his bullshit attitude and personality.
And so, like, that is his...
That's his thing.
I know that neo-Nazi you were talking about.
Elon's retweeted that guy.
I'm not going to bring up his dumb screen name because it's gibberish.
I'm sorry.
Somebody found a Twitter space where he was talking in that Twitter space and oh my god.
And another thing about the woke people that bothers me so much is that, oh my god, just the weakest, most aggressively beta-accented voice you've ever heard.
And people, like, all the replies were like people basically falling out of their chairs going, that's what this motherfucker sounds like?
And a lot of the replies were, you know, that voice doesn't sound very white to me.
This guy is definitely hiding.
Yeah, so when Dave Portnoy put out a statement about the guy who did order the sign, and he's not a white guy, and there was an attempt on his end to also cash in, so he made a give-send-go, and a few neo-Nazis shared it, but they were getting dunked on.
They were like, bro, this is not, no, we're not donating to a brown guy.
And I just checked his give-send-go a little bit ago, and he's barely made anything.
They don't care about him.
They view the Shiloh Hendricks situation similarly, kind of as the Carmelo Anthony-Austin Metcalf situation, as just a martyr for white people.
Yeah, she's got the right look.
She's got that kind of white trash look that they need.
Yeah, I literally think she has, like, a Mjolnir tattoo on her hand.
Like, no information has come out on her.
You mean like this?
Yeah, but, okay, so I don't want to, I know, so many people get offended by this.
I don't mean it to all people.
Wait, what kind of tattoo?
Mjolnir.
I was showing, I have one on my right arm, but I am actually, I'm Nordic, so that's my, you know, heritage and everything is why I have it.
I have some scarification ink rub runes.
I thought about doing that, getting protection runes on my wrist or something.
I forget what they mean, but I'm not religious or superstitious in any way, but I refuse to have any runes put into my skin that I myself do not do because there's something sacred about the blood and the symbol.
Like, and doing it yourself, so all of mine were, like, were scarification ink rubbings and stuff.
It was, like, my own religious thing, even though I'm not religious.
Yeah, I totally know people that, like, have rune tattoos that are, like, queer, trans, like, anarchist weirdos.
But, like, listeners who don't know, it is a commonly, like, runes and viking kind of culture, Thor's hammer.
Very appropriated by a certain segment of the Nazis.
Yes, unfortunately.
And it's like the Proud Boys basically stole the laurel leaves of the traditional skinheads.
It's all down to the Nazis, because Hitler was all into Wagner, and there's a lot of crossover between Germanic and Norse mythology, and so it's just, you know, it's all virtue signaling, basically.
But anyway, I hope some people do some more research into who she is, because when I saw that, I was like, okay, who's she affiliated with?
Yeah, I would not be surprised if skeletons are coming out of her closet real soon.
Yeah, I mean, she can't be that great.
She did say the N-word towards an autistic child.
Also, just in general, how there's conspiracies about...
Like, George Floyd and stuff.
There's just, like, in real time conspiracies about that child that she attacked.
Like, people basically saying, like, he's not actually five years old.
He's not actually autistic.
This was a setup.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And yeah, I don't know.
I think Mike said pretty accurately in the chat that we talk in that, like, it's kind of conservative just being...
Yeah.
And something I've noticed, there's a tendency to age up any kind of Black, quote-unquote, perpetrator of a crime, because you'll see them refer to a 17-year-old as a man, because that way it doesn't look like they're beating up some kid.
No, yeah, exactly.
There was that little boy, this was kind of like in the era of like when George Floyd and Freddie Gray and all that, there was that little boy that was killed.
He was like 12. Yeah.
I don't have the name off the top of my head, but like, yeah, there was a lot of like 12-year-old man, you know?
Like, that's not...
Tamir Rice, was that the...
Yeah, that was it, yeah.
Yeah, Demir Rice was one that really, like, they all should stick with us, but, I mean, that one stuck with me because I actually had, like, a three-day-long, like, running argument on Facebook with some moron who was just like, no, those cops were totally right to kill him on site.
And I was like, you have to be kidding me, mate.
You have to be joking.
And we just went around the barn, like, so many times.
And then, like...
Six months later, something happened, and the cops killed somebody in another really unacceptable way, and then that guy was just sort of like...
This was wrong, and now I have to apologize and say that they were wrong in the shooting of Tamir Rice as well.
And someone was like, look, look, he said it!
And I was getting ready to yell at the guy.
They're like, no, dude, bro, take the win.
Take the win.
Just let it be over.
Let it be over.
And I was like the dog on a leash.
I was like, really?
This is what it took, motherfucker?
It took another fucking bad shooting for you to acknowledge the first shooting was bad?
You piece of shit.
Get their ass.
Breaking news.
Breaking news, everybody.
Hope Leo, the 14th, or whatever it is.
14th.
Socks.
Socks.
Not Cubs.
Confirmed.
Socks.
Yeah, I know, because I remember, yeah, Haley asked me that, or no, I'm sorry, Mike asked me that, and then I was saying, I don't know what part of Chicago he's from, and then Haley sent a link showing that he's from a suburb on the south side, like right by Calumet City.
I'm like, oh, he's a Socks fan then.
But, yeah, I think it was some St. Louis newspaper has confirmed that he is Sox.
He is, in fact, Sox.
Because, yes, we got to know.
And someone commented, typical Catholic luminary torturing himself in a campaign for St. Hood.
But, yeah, as I stated a couple weeks ago, because this might sound weird, but you cannot be from Chicago and not have a side.
It's...
It's like being in the 1860s and saying, are you union or confederate?
There's no fence-sitters in this one.
Yeah, you are a shark or a jet.
You don't have to do any dancing, but you do have to pick a side.
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Teksting av Nicolai Winther So, Mike, you watched some of the testimony, right?
The Derek Chauvin testimony?
Yeah, so my homework for this podcast, because I'm a hard-working boy who puts me back into this.
So, Dr. Baker, or whatever you want to call him, the pathologist who performed the autopsy for George Floyd, I originally went to watch his testimony.
And it was really dry, really boring.
The post-testimony commentary that I saw from the legal analysis was basically like, it felt like the prosecution was building up to something and then they just never did.
It was very just sort of, like, the one thing you will see from all these trials when you watch a live testimony is, like, the first 20 minutes is just death.
Because it's just, say your name.
State your credentials.
State more credentials.
Do we have any more credentials to throw in?
Yes, we do.
And then finally they get into the nuts and bolts of what's going on, but it's just brutal how long you have to just go through this pro forma nonsense.
But basically, the Direct went on for an incriminately long time, and it was just this very dry...
Statement of, so you think the knee on the neck killed him, right?
And the autopsy doctor was like, yeah, pretty much.
And then after 90 or so minutes of that, then the defense attorney comes up and says, how about all that fentanyl in his system?
What about the heart disease?
Seems like there's a lot of shit going on there to me.
I'm all confused.
I don't know how this jury could suss it all out.
And then after he steps away, then the prosecutor on redirect just says, so the knee on the neck killed him, right?
And the autopsy doctor was like, yeah.
And it was basically that.
It was like two hours to build to that one question on redirect.
And again, the legal analysts were just basically of the mindset that, yeah, the defense scored a lot of points there, but that last question at the end there was real solid for the prosecution.
10-9 prosecution on this round, basically.
And I really cared about that because so many of these lying scumbags who've been swarming this case, they will post the same shit over and over again on social media about how the original autopsy or this new quote-unquote new autopsy report reveals.
And it's all bullshit.
It's all literally from the same autopsy report.
And the problem with the autopsy report is that basically the top of the autopsy report is like a paragraph inside a box.
And that paragraph is just cause of death was like blood flow diminished due to positional asphyxia, et cetera, et cetera.
But then when you read the body of the autopsy report, it's just nothing there.
It's just, yeah, we...
We chopped out all his organs.
We looked at him.
This is what his heart weighed.
This is what his spleen weighed.
Here's the toxicology report.
And nowhere in the entire autopsy report does it have anything where the doctor gives his opinion as to what happened.
The only opinion thing you get is the literal title, which was just died due to positional asphyxiation and subdual during arrest.
And so...
All these lying scum can post that report online and say, nowhere in this report does it say he died from what Chauvin did to him.
And again, that's because it's in the title, it's not in the body.
And it's just this incredibly frustrating way to write a report.
It's almost like they wrote the report in an effort to be as dense and as unreadable as possible, to make the report as inscrutable as it could possibly be for you, the reader, to look at.
It was just like, what the fuck are they doing?
And so all that happens.
So I'm like, well, the autopsy doctor was a big nothing.
I need to get into more prosecution witnesses.
So then I got into this prosecution witness named Martin Tobin.
I do know that his last name is right.
And Tobin is literally the god of breathing, from what we could say.
I got it right, Martin Tobin.
Martin Tobin is the god of breathing.
This is a dude who really cared about how you draw breath and how that breath works inside your lungs.
And this guy was just like, look, I'm going to break this down to you.
I'm going to make this real clear to all of you as to how George Floyd died.
And his testimony was basically that after about five minutes, Chauvin had killed him.
Because after five minutes, he managed to drain all the oxygen out of George Floyd's body, and that George Floyd's breathing was so shallow and so meaningless, it couldn't oxygenate his blood, and there was no oxygen in his body at all.
And various stress responses that Floyd gave during the knee on the neck, during being subdued.
We're evidence of this fact.
And he had this chart that shows how much oxygen is in your body and how your lungs work to keep the oxygen flowing and what...
All the different kinds of restraint, being on the ground, being on his stomach, having his arms cuffed behind him, all of this stuff.
He went through brutal, excruciating detail to explain how Chauvin just sucked the oxygen out of him.
He talked about how the knee was on his neck the whole time, and that the other knee was on his lower back for at least 57% of the time.
He analyzed the film in brutal detail.
He went over all this stuff.
Basically, on cross, the defense did the same thing they did to the autopsy doctor, but Tobin was just like, no, the way Floyd died was not consistent.
None of the other options for how Floyd died are consistent with those possibilities.
The only thing that makes sense is that the knee on the neck reduced the amount of oxygen in his body to the point where it was going to be lethal.
And it took about five minutes to kill him, and that's what happened.
And the...
The opening by the defense was basically, this is the first criminal case you've ever done something like this with.
And the guy was like, yeah.
And they were like, because you think this is a really important case, so you volunteered your services and blah, blah, blah.
And the guy was like, yeah.
And then they were like, so you waived your fee, did you?
And Tobin said, yes.
And then the defense was like, what is your fee?
And he's like, well, if I'm an expert witness, I charge by the hour and my rate is $500 an hour.
So, like, if you want the god of breathing to go to your civil trial to argue something for you, you better pony the fuck up, because this guy is top dollar.
But he's like, yeah, I waived all of that, because I really care about this case, and I really wanted to give this presentation to the jury about how Shrovan definitely killed this guy.
And, I mean, they did what they could with the fentanyl, they did what they could with all the rest of it, but he basically, he said, If you die from a fentanyl overdose, you go into a coma first, and then you die after that.
And on redirect, that was immediately what the prosecutor brought up.
He was like, yo, was George Floyd ever in a coma?
And Tobin was like, no, obviously he was not in a coma.
I don't even know.
He's like, I know you're saying this just so I can say no, but God, mate, what a silly question.
So they went through all that.
But yeah, so that guy was way more persuasive and way more adamant.
And he was the one who really brought it home because he was like, yeah, George Floyd was breathing, but the breathing was dog shit because he couldn't breathe properly.
He was like, you have your diaphragm and you have your rib muscles.
And then when all this shit happens to crush you, those muscles really aren't working.
And he was talking how George Floyd was pushing with his hands on the ground.
He's like...
He's trying to breathe with his hands.
He's trying to use his hands to get breath.
That's how stressful and how fucked he is, that his body isn't able to get breath, so he's now reduced to using his extremities to try to get some freedom in airspace so he can breathe.
And that testimony was, like, very powerful.
And, I mean, yeah, like, the defense did what they could, but they were, like, just sort of like, yeah, this is pretty good stuff.
This is really strong.
I just wanted to add one thing, because I said I never saw the George Floyd video.
One thing that this reminds me of is Hillsborough, where it was a game between Liverpool, I forget the other team, they don't matter.
But 96 people were crushed to death.
I think it was 96. Yeah, Justice for the 96 and the 97th person.
And you can see video footage and pictures of people who are standing upright.
And they look like they're alive, but they're not.
And that's exactly, you know, asphyxia is a horrific thing.
I've seen the Hillsborough pictures and videos and stuff.
This shit just...
Ugh.
But, yeah, like I said, even without seeing the George Floyd video, I know exactly what happened.
Like, it's just horrible how anyone could defend that.
I just need to say that.
It's just horrible.
Yeah, this, uh...
I googled this Martin Tobin, and he's described as a world-renowned expert on breathing and lungs.
Go.
Yep.
Shout out to this guy.
Yeah.
Yeah, that was basically, again, that first 20 minutes to a half hour of prep, it was just the prosecutor being like, so you're the god of breathing.
And Tobin was like, yes, I am.
You'd like me to establish this fact for you, good sir.
And the prosecutor was like, I very much would like you to do so.
And Tobin just went over all these different things, all these fields he studied, and he is just like, he's like, look, nobody understands breathing better than I do.
You don't fuck with me with breathing, motherfucker.
You don't try it.
You don't try it, because you're going to fail.
You're going to fail hard, because I am the king of breathing.
And it was just really, it was really interesting that, like, he was able to establish that.
And then he went through the whole thing about, like, here's all the oxygen in your lungs.
Here's, like, how that all works, blah, blah, blah.
And then just got to the whole, like, and he's like, yep, Sherwin totally fucking killed that guy.
Yeah.
I feel like it's, like, something that was pretty obvious, but it's good to have, like, the expert come in and just, like, absolutely dunk on you and, like, yeah, just, like, debunk even the stupid questions.
Basically.
Yeah, it was, I mean, I would love to watch any of these Chauvin did nothing wrong clowns, like, watch this stuff.
Because basically the defense's only arguments was just like, all this stuff you did was kind of approximations, and Tobin said, it's approximate, but it's really not hard to establish baseline breathing patterns for a 46-year-old man of that height and weight.
I can put all this shit into the fucking computer and come up with numbers for you.
I'm not speculating very much.
There is some speculation, but it is incredibly small compared to what I'm doing with the actual facts and evidence.
I had actually never heard of this Hillsboro disaster, and I think I googled it, and it's actually interesting.
This is kind of what happened at that one concert in Texas, right?
Yeah, human crush.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And there was actually a big, like, justice case that went on for decades because the cops lied about what had happened and the cops were actually beating people back who were trying to climb out.
And they said that the soccer hooligans were beating people up, but it was really the soccer hooligans that were giving people CPR and saving lives.
So there was this big court case and stuff.
There's an interesting history with it.
That's how I chose my team, even though I never really watched football.
But my team's Liverpool.
Astroworld.
That was the Texas one.
And yeah, it's like you don't realize that you're basically losing so much oxygen that you die because you're in the crowd getting crushed.
Yeah, and that's actually, like, I can say from, like, all the studying I've done on diving to prepare for my class and stuff and all the videos I've watched, like, the drowning looks scary, but it actually, the asphyxiation looks way worse than the drowning.
Like, I would rather, like, drown than be crushed to death like that.
But going back to the...
The Chauvin trial, I remember there was something about, like, the judge refusal to let the prosecution bring up the possibility that Chauvin and Floyd may have known each other before that incident.
Did you say anything about that when you were looking into the case?
No, I didn't.
That's really frustrating.
I didn't know the idea of, like...
Chauvin and Floyd as BFFs.
I heard something about what didn't have something to do with a nightclub.
Yeah, they both worked security at a nightclub, but it's not clear if they ever worked together or anything.
And then the judge wouldn't let prosecution bring it up to try to avoid prejudice in the case.
And that's all I really know, so I didn't...
I don't know if there's any more information, because I don't know what the judge means by prejudice or anything like that.
Yeah, I do remember that now from the actual trial when it was happening, where people were like, well, I think the prejudice idea was that They didn't want people to think that Chauvin had some sort of vendetta against Floyd and killed him.
Yeah, because I remember a lot of people on Twitter were bringing up that possibility that this was personal for Chauvin.
Yeah, I just giggled it, and the New York Times wrote that, like you said, there's no evidence that they ever interacted at the club, but they both did work security-like.
Uh, at a place called El Nuevo Rodeo, and their shifts did sometimes overlap.
I remember this at the time, too, because I remember there was, like, conspiracies that stemmed from this, that there was, like, oh, show them when they were fucking each other's wives or something, you know, like, just, like, speedy stuff.
It was, like, early conspiracies that weren't, like, that evil yet.
It was just kind of, like, people just, you know, being people.
I want Derek Chauvin to be the cuck and George Floyd to be his bull.
Oh, man.
That's right.
Yeah, he's sitting in the chair and everything.
Yes.
Derek Chauvin's sitting in the chair.
Oh, God.
And then he taps out for the cash cab guys when he starts to shift.
Yes.
So, um...
Does anyone have any conspiracies they remember from this era?
Well, I mean, I went over all the nut conspiracies that I had in Part 1. The whole legless thing, the cash cab thing, all that kind of just bullshit.
One thing we didn't bring up in Part 1 that was a dumb conspiracy theory was that the gold coffin was too small.
Oh, yes, I remember that, the small coffin.
Yeah, Floyd wasn't really in it, so he wasn't really dead, and all it was fake.
I feel like this era also stemmed, which we didn't talk about the last episode, like, obviously there was a lot of, like, BLM and Antifa are kind of used, like, synonymously, like, in the same sentence.
Especially in reference to the Floyd riots.
Yeah, so the right has this fear of simultaneously BLM and Antifa, so there's conspiracies about both, but they are obviously both different conspiracies.
There's anti-black conspiracies about BLM that have prolonged, stuck in the culture.
Every time, basically, a black person in Portland gets arrested, Andy No.
We'll be like, oh, leader of BLM arrested.
Like, every black person that gets arrested is the leader of BLM.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, like the guy's trying to say that Kilmar Garcia guy is one of the kingpins of MS-13.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, everyone.
I shit you not.
I got an email from FAIR, which is like an anti-immigrant coalition that's tracked as a hate group.
But...
They literally, they're, like, influential.
They're, like, sheriffs work with them and stuff.
And they put out an article that literally said that Kilmar Garcia Abreu was no angel, which is, like, word-for-word shit that, like, I hear in the Floyd area.
Yeah, I remember seeing somebody say no angel about, what was his name, the guy that George Zimmerman killed.
Yeah.
Trayvon Martin, yeah.
I remember those exact words, no angel being used to describe him.
Why is it always no angel for their enemies, but when it comes time to defending their own, it's did nothing wrong?
Yeah.
By the way, shout out to Griff also.
But, like, seriously.
No, literally.
Like, the use of language, the use of their language is so important.
Just the way that they used words.
Sorry, my edible kicked in.
I'm sorry if I sound dumb.
It's okay, I'm smoking weed too.
We can be high together.
I had one of those waiting for my chance to get a point that I thought of across and then there's a little conversation and I'm like, oh.
What was it I wanted to say?
That's the best.
That is literally the best.
You're just like, gotta have the most cogent point.
Oh, look, a butterfly!
I always think of the Simpsons saying, Mr. Simpson, your son seems to have an attention problem.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
I was thinking of the Teen Titans thing with Cyborg going, look, a birdie.
Or the dog from Up.
Squirrel?
Well, if I remember what it was I wanted to say, I'll just randomly shout it while one of you guys are talking.
Just yell over the person talking.
Shout it in the middle of the night.
That's right.
The white man has something to say.
Maybe it'll trigger something while I'm talking, but I just remember Antifa conspiracies being so funny at the time, because I think it brought the term into the American zeitgeist, and people just fundamentally misunderstood what it meant entirely.
Even to this day, I've heard people say that Antifa is short for anti-First Amendment, which makes me laugh.
Well, that's what they do.
They take this stuff and they pervert it.
Like CRT.
I guarantee you that 80% of the people crying about CRT has no idea what it stands for.
Andy Ngo wrote a whole book.
Andy Ngo, for those of you who don't know, is just like a fascist piece of shit who doxes leftists and gay people.
I got assaulted with a dildo once.
And a milkshake.
And he claimed he had suffered a traumatic brain injury from the milkshake and needed millions of dollars in financial compensation to continue living his life because he'd been rendered basically...
He was practically an invalid as a result of being hit by the milkshake.
He still talks about that.
He collects off of that.
People like Andy know are like the old Looney Tunes dog.
Couple, the dog duo, where, like, the little one would, like, start the fight, and then the big one would have to go and, like, defend him and shit.
Like, these people start all these fights, and then when someone attacks them or defends themselves against them, they go running and crying, and, oh, I'm the victim!
They're the biggest pussies!
Yeah, and skinheads, it takes five of you to beat up one other guy?
Get a set of balls, man.
I do remember now what I was going to mention before.
It was about the whole BLM thing.
It was like gospel among just every conservative that BLM was going around burning entire cities to the ground.
Because I remember talking to this...
It's this guy that I went to high school with, and we both have kids who go to the same school, so I run into him all the time.
He's a conservative.
I don't think he's a Trumper, but he's a self-described conservative, and I don't really talk politics with him at all for that reason.
But I remember him talking to me one time, and he's like, I don't know where he just brings up, you know, you have these rioters.
Burning down public buildings and stuff, and I'm like, yeah, the guy who was doing that turned out to be a Boogaloo boy, and he just didn't want to hear it.
So it's just like, even someone who is, say, just a rank-and-file conservative, they're totally red-pilled on this whole BLM is a bunch of terrorist stuff.
Yeah, and not only do they think that they were going around...
Yeah.
I had so many people tell me, they're like, have you seen Chicago since then?
I'm like, I live in Chicago.
Yes, I've seen it.
It looks exactly the same.
You want me to send you pictures?
Like, I have been on, like, involved in protests that have gotten, like, gassed out by police and, like, have erupted into, like, big events that seem much bigger than they are.
Because that's how it's sensationalized on the news.
And it's like, for the most part, most of these events, most of the stuff happens in the same places in the community constantly.
Like, state capital, there's a lot of stuff that happens here and there, because that's where a lot of the protests happen.
Or just the downtown area, because that's where a lot of the protests happen.
It's not like this huge entire area, like the whole state.
And in the case of Floyd...
A lot of those riots were also strategically organized in the sense that they protested the police building and burnt it down, which I will controversially maybe say I think that was justified.
Nobody was hurt in it and it was somebody died because of that department and I don't care.
I would rather my public tax dollars go to that than killing people.
I think it was a good statement.
I love seeing shirts of that police department burning.
I will stand by that.
The same thing with that Arby's that called the cops on that man that was sitting in the car and then that Arby's burned.
I feel like that's another situation where it was like a strategic riot and people...
I think it was a Wendy's.
Yeah, it was like just a fast food chain.
And it's like, yeah, sometimes people, the community takes out their anger in ways that may seem controversial, but like, don't kill people.
Yeah.
Don't kill people.
I remember seeing this one tweet where this guy was like talking about the, what do they call it?
The Portland Free Zone or whatever it was called.
You know what I'm talking about?
Yeah, the Autonomous Zone.
That was it, the Autonomous Zone.
Chaz.
Yeah, Chaz.
So this guy's like, okay, so I see all these right-wing people talking about how Chaz is a bunch of hippies slowly dying of malnutrition, and then my dad's like, hey, I heard they're going to be showing a movie there tonight I want to see.
You want to head down there?
No, literally.
I know that Chaz kind of ended badly.
But, like, I've been to also events where it's just, like, anarchists kind of cutting a fence and being in an area that they're not supposed to be for a big event that lasts, like, days.
And for the most part, it's just, like, watching, like, documentaries and, like, making scenes.
It's not that big of a deal.
It's mostly chill.
It's just, like, how to compost.
But, okay, so...
Andy Ngo, I feel like, gained a lot of prominence in this era because he did kind of present himself as an expert on so-called Antifa.
And he even wrote a book out on it that, I shit you not, when I went to the AZ Central office, which is the paper of record here, they had that on their bookshelf.
And I was like, oh no!
So people take his fictional narrative of what Antifa is as fact.
And, like, yeah, he does basically present it as, like, this fucking mass organization that's basically receiving, like, their plans to riot and do stuff from, like, Hillary Clinton or Soros or Obama or whoever they hate.
Yeah, you remember I'm talking about the jet filled with men dressed in black headed to the Capitol on January 6th?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, like, busing, like, people like Antifa and BLM getting bussed in.
Yeah, and then, like, the supposed videos of the Antifa guys getting into MAGA gear in the bushes behind the Capitol.
It's like, why didn't they just get dressed before they left the house?
Why did they have to do it at the Capitol?
There was a conspiracy that happened here locally during like the 2020 elections.
And it was started by this local QAnon lady.
And she was freaking out about a bus that was like transporting the Phoenix Suns or something.
But it said Black Lives Matter on the side.
So they thought legit like BLM and Antifa was getting bussed in here to like, you know, mule or something.
So, yeah, it's just like kind of something that stayed in the culture.
Like Antifa and BLM conspiracies.
I guess also like for listeners who don't know, it's not like a big organization where like Antifa isn't even like a nonprofit.
It's just like, it means anti-fascist and that's it.
And like, you'll occasionally see like groups in your community that maybe call themselves like Colorado Antifa, but it's usually just like little collectives of people like affinity groups.
It's not like an official thing.
Right-wingers...
Right-wingers are legit terrified of Antifa.
Like, I shit you not.
So yeah, that's...
QAnon literally was created as a counter-argument to a narrative they created about Antifa.
If you don't know this little story, I'll try to be as quick as I can about it.
No, do it.
The whole idea of arrests on November 3rd, which then got moved to November 4th and the Q drops, Was because on 4chan at the time, there was this idea that Antifa was going to plunge America into civil war on November 4th, 2017.
So when Q jumped in with Hillary's going to be arrested and all this stuff, as Q's building the narrative, as Q's inventing, is world-building their LARP, they...
decided, oh, wait, like, November 4th is, like, really important date on the Chan boards.
I'm going to glom onto it, and I'm going to say that it's not the day that Antifa shatters America in civil war.
It's actually the day the patriots take control and throw everyone in jail and make Donald Trump the god emperor.
So, yeah.
That is the actual origin of the story.
And then when November 4th, 2017 rolled around and nothing happened, Q had to pivot.
And by that point, there were already people that were following Q and gave him the benefit of the doubt.
We're like, oh, it's okay, man.
Everyone makes a little mistake about the world being saved by Donald Trump, the God-appointed champion and all that good stuff.
Obviously, he meant that it was going to be November 4th of the year 20XX.
Yes.
I've actually had your truthers.
I've actually had people say that, like, he never said Podesta was going to get arrested on 11-3-17.
Julian's Rum actually did that to me back in the day.
And I was like, you're fucking arguing the year?
You're actually doing that, you fucking idiot?
Are you telling me that John Podesta just has to stay in a country with no intradition treaty on November 3rd every year and he's in the clear?
That's how this works?
Jensidie presenterer en vanlekasje på jobben i 1988.
Vi må ha et aller arkivskap på dokumentene.
Kom igjen!
Å, det var tungt!
Og en vanlekasje på jobben i dag.
Nå må vi ta opp større verden og harddisker.
Kom igjen da!
Med forsikring fra Jensidie er bedriften din i trygge hender.
Vi har alltid vært der ved små og store UL, og det skal vi fortsette med.
Tiden går.
Jensidie består.
Hva vil du ha på burgeren, Heidi?
Ingenting.
That's not enough to say.
So it's nice to know that you get a wide variety of grill-mattes for 15 kroner for the whole summer.
Make grill-sommers billig.
Extra.
Thank you.
Did Q ever mention Black Lives Matter?
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Q hated Black Lives Matter.
Yeah.
It was evil, bad.
Awful, designed to subvert America.
Evil, deep state.
How many?
Nine posts contain BLM in the Q drops.
I like how you just have that constantly up, so you can just...
Well, I went right to the page once Haley asked me, because that's what you do.
All you had to do is hit Control-V because you go there so much is permanently burned into your computer.
Oh, my wish.
I am the god of Q-drops the way Martin Tobin is the god of breathing.
I won $500 an hour for my expert testimony on fucking Q-drops.
Literally.
Hook me up, you pieces of shit.
God damn you, Mike Rothschild, for getting all that expert and fucking witness cash.
Did you guys see Kyle Rittenhouse weighing in on the Carmelo Anthony thing?
Yeah, it's only self-defense when you're white.
I love fucking, oh, fuck you, Kyle.
Right.
I love that.
I was like, oh, hey, look, the poster child of white entitlement has an opinion.
Yeah.
That was the first time I was ever on Hellworld, Mike, before I was a regular.
You interviewed me about that time I saw Rittenhouse live when he first got out at that big Turning Point USA event.
Yep.
So I've stuck kind of, like, just following right now.
He's done, like, vigilante stuff at the border here with militias.
And, yeah, it's just so funny that he weighed in and thinking, like, he deserves life in prison.
Yeah.
I mean, not that he would have any other opinion, but still.
Well, I mean, there was, like, that fleeting moment where he, like, was like, I don't think Trump's really fighting for the Second Amendment strong enough.
And they fucking...
Cancer disowned him, and he's like, oh shit, I gotta remember what side my bread is buttered on.
Oh yeah, yeah.
They grabbed his ass.
Yeah, they fucking sock partied him full metal jacket style.
They fucking pulled the bed sheet down nice and tight on him and started fucking wailing on him.
Yeah, they were like, dude, you are a flavor of the month.
Remember who's paying your bills, pal.
Literally.
Yeah, yeah.
You're like, Kyle, Kyle, what fucking happened to your eye?
He's like, I walked into a door.
Shut up.
Donald Trump is my president and I love him.
It's like, no, Kyle, you're in a safe place.
You can tell me.
No, I can't!
I'm not going to get the rent paid if I fucking say anything.
It's like, yep.
Oh, God.
Yeah, that's going to be a hoot and a holler when we get to the actual Carmelo Anthony trial.
I mean, because the thing is, is that all I've seen from that trial is right-wing grifters saying shit like, oh, I've seen the video.
There goes his self-defense claims.
And then I'm like, well, do we get to see the video?
And it's like, no.
It's great.
It's in a folder labeled Life Insurance, just like a Hillary Facebook video.
Yeah.
It's Frazzle Blip.
That's what it's called.
Yeah, literally.
Yeah, the Carmelo Anthony self-defense tape is, like, we're going to see that never.
And that's the thing, is that the one thing that people have been talking about is that the two brothers that he got into the fight with, and he stabbed one of them, It's like, if you look at them and you look at Carmelo Anthony, they've got him so badly outweighed.
It is like, Jesus Christ.
Carmelo is a tiny dude in comparison to the two beefy boys that were squabbling with him.
Well, no, he's black, so you've got to call him a small man compared to the two boys.
Yeah, Carmelo, probably age 35. Yeah.
I mean, yeah, all that.
You got to age up the tiny, you got to age up the black person, and you have to age down and humanize the white person.
I just looked up Rittenhouse because I can't remember how old he is.
He's 22, so we got 13 years before he realizes that he can grift by pretending to run for president.
Oh, no.
Rittenhouse 2020.
Rittenhouse 2040.
It's time to be great.
I mean, when Trump goes, there's going to be so many characters trying to...
Oh my God, it is going to be a free-for-all.
Yeah.
And I've said this before, but I will be amazed if he makes it to the end of his term.
And please note, FBI, that is not a threat.
That is a guess based on the fact that he never exercises and eats Big Macs and KFC three meals a day.
And I think the best thing that Donald Trump and the rest of his staff and everyone who voted for him should do is cave diving.
You don't need any dive equipment.
You don't need any special training.
You should cave dive right now.
Again, FBI, that is just a suggestion for a hobby they might want to take up and not a threat.
Comedy podcast, everybody!
These are jokes.
Hilarious, funny jokes.
Maybe we should get Frosty to do a bump that says, we are not actually making a statement here.
Yeah.
Can I get my own special thing?
Hey, when the Secret Service knocks on your door, I don't know you.
I don't know what you're talking about.
We'll get Frosty to do what it says in Minecraft.
Cave diving in Minecraft.
In Minecraft!
It's perfect!
We want you to go look for diamonds.
It's like the five minute long Alex Jones rant.
We have to stomp their guts out!
We have to curb stomp them!
We have to take these people and shatter their skulls!
Politically!
It's just like...
Alex, I don't think that covers it.
I really don't think that covered it.
But it's just like, oh.
That was a great...
Oh, wait.
Okay, wait.
I'm just looking at something here.
And apparently the joke I made was someone took it seriously because when I looked up Kyle Rittenhouse's age, they have some other people listed here.
There's Tomi Lahren, 32 years old.
George Zimmerman, 41 years old.
Carmelo Anthony, 40 years.
I'm sure that's the basketball player and not the defendant.
Okay, so what's he got to do with any of this?
The fact that Carmelo Anthony is literally named Carmelo Anthony, that's the problem.
Yeah.
Well, I did notice, because I was like, it doesn't look like him in the picture, so I feel better about that at least.
But apparently a lot of people made that mistake.
But I'm like, okay, so now Carmelo Anthony was a 40-year-old high school student.
Nope, Carmelo, that's the basketball player.
Okay.
Because I literally...
That also explains why his name is spelled with a C and not a K on here.
Yeah, exactly.
Exactly right.
Exactly right.
No, that was the thing, was I was talking to El about the Carmelo Anthony case, and he was incredibly confused, and I had to bring him up to speed that there's a different person named Carmelo Anthony.
And he had quite the laugh about that.
That does remind me, I saw some story about someone doing some salacious thing, I can't remember what.
But halfway through the article, they mentioned that the guy's name is James Jordan.
And I'm like, oh, nice.
Well, there was also an Anthony Camillo.
He was a QAnon believer who, like, gunned down a Gambino family member, like, in the driveway.
And he had that famous Richard Ramirez picture of him with Q sent me and a bunch of stuff written on his palm in court.
So, it's extra confusing.
First of all, pour one out for Elle, everybody.
Alright, we did that.
Why?
What happened?
Nothing.
Because he just got mentioned and he's not on the show anymore.
Oh, oh, oh.
He died.
Oh, my God.
I thought, oh, my God.
Well, as you say about Serge, he's dead to us.
You just gave me a new idea for a new horrible podcast.
It's called Guess Who Died?
You know, you have the regular hosts, and they bring a random person on and tell them on the podcast that one of their loved ones died, and that's how they find out.
Oh, okay.
That is not the direction I thought you were going with that.
However, it's incredibly bleak, and I don't know how much sizzle we're going to have on that steak.
I think Ashton Kutcher on with you.
If you go the jury screener route and a fight breaks out because of it, then that might be interesting.
I don't know if I've mentioned this on the pod, not that it really matters, but a year ago, I had a relative inform my mom, and then she informed me that some other mysterious relative of mine had passed away, and I was being notified as a potential heir of their estate.
And then I talked to a lawyer recently, and they were like, oh, it happened in California.
Yeah, their siblings are going to get everything, so enjoy your nothing.
And I was like, yay!
So, like, I am not actually the plotline of Haunted Mansion or anything like that, sadly.
Damn.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
Oh, that would be so awesome.
Poker's Haunted Mansion.
But I did find out through this information that my father died, and I was just like, yes, fuck that guy.
So that was really awesome.
I would ruin that show.
When they bring me on, they're like, Mike, guess who died?
And I'm like, is it my dad?
And they're like, yes.
And I'm like, yes.
And they're like, that's not how this show is supposed to work.
Mike, stop dancing.
We're going to have to turn the camera on.
He's flossing right now.
Now he's doing the sprinkler.
I'm like, yep, my dad is dead.
Now he's carrying the pizza.
I'm doing all of it.
That's bringing us full circle because I did the sprinkler while we were listening to the intro music.
But yeah, for those of you who don't know, which is probably literally all of you, my dad fled Massachusetts when I was three to avoid paying child support to my mom and lived for many years in Arizona before apparently coming back to Massachusetts later in life.
I had very little contact with the man at all.
Not a lot of fond memories.
Just know that, yeah, he skirted responsibility for raising me or financially supporting me in every way, shape, and form that he could.
So, very glad to hear that you passed away, Dad.
Can we get a round of applause on the thing?
Can we get a round of applause?
I think that's up to Riverside.
Oh, there we go.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Thank you.
Thank you.
The very unexpected soundboard from Stephanie's grim show.
We're like, guess who died?
And then they're like, fuck, we have to go to the cheering club.
So you're not going to get a scene like in The Waterboy where you become a famous best-selling author and your dad shows up trying to cash in.
Nope, sadly.
No, nope, nope.
Yeah.
Yeah, old Pop Pop ain't gonna be making a nickel off me, which is lovely, because boy howdy, would that be awkward as fuck.
Fuck you, Mike's dad.
Fuck you.
Yeah, fuck you, Papa Reigns.
New gender-neutral toilet just dropped.
Are you talking about that Nancy Mace thing?
Yes, I'm sure it is.
Blame it on the Reigns.
That's right, if you're a Gen Xer, you get that.
God damn it, really?
My name is so obviously based off of another song, and yet we went there.
Is it Purple Rain?
Yes, very obviously.
Now you're going for the obtuse cop trick in the Karen Reed case today.
It's a song from his favorite band, that trash band.
I'm gonna reel everyone back in real quick, and I'm gonna just mention, because I would be amiss to not mention this, because it's one of my favorite conspiracies from the Antifa BLM kind of conspiracies, is that, like, bricks were showing up in random places.
I was thinking the same thing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I remember that.
Like, construction crews had to put out, like, press releases and shit.
I remember you could literally see the construction company's logo in the background.
And other people pointed out, they're like, "Look, this is happening in Dallas right now." And they're like, "Oh, really?
Because I see green grass and it's December right now.
That is just stuck in my brain so hard from that era.
It makes you notice how much construction is everywhere constantly.
And so every time I just see a pile of bricks, I'm like, there's those Antifa bricks.
And in the downtown area, the whole area is bricks.
There's nothing but bricks.
So I loved that conspiracy at the time.
Nothing but bricks.
That would make a great shirt.
Nothing but bricks.
And there's a ton of construction going on here.
There's an old joke that there's three seasons in Chicago.
Winter, summer, and construction.
Yeah, that's like every season in Arizona.
It's just like constant construction.
And the winter and summer thing is dead serious too because I always joke that my favorite time of year is spring, both weeks of it.
Oh, God.
This year in Massachusetts, we did the exact same thing.
We just skipped spring and went direct to summer from winter.
Today it's 50, tomorrow it's going to be 80. That's just how it is around here.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, it's not great.
It's not great.
It was, like, chilly all of April, and then May hit, and now it's insufferably warm out.
Yeah.
It's like, yep, we just, we just direct, we just, they snuck a little, they snuck it in, because we had, like, a couple days of, like, gloomy, rainy shittiness, so you really couldn't see the temperature was going up as much.
But now it's just gonna be like, bam.
Hope you enjoy 80 with 80% humidity, because that's all you're getting from now on.
Thank you.
Beautiful.
I've only been to Boston one time, and that was in the spring, so I don't really have a good sense of what the weather's like over there.
Our summers are dog shit.
Our summers are just so oppressively humid.
When I lived out in Vegas, it would be like, oh, it's $1.10 out, and I wouldn't even feel it.
It was just water off a duck's back because it was so dry.
I do remember going on a road trip and being in Vegas and trying to clean my windshield, and I would get the windshield wet, and then I'd start wiping, but it was already dry before I even touched the squeegee to it.
Oh yeah, it's brutal that way.
It's so much better than just being in humidity world.
Just the land of water air.
Just so awful and brutal.
It's horrible.
When I lived in Pennsylvania, I was taking a shower to go to a night class and I had to change my shirt three times because there was a thunderstorm approaching so it was like high humidity.
I sweat through my shirt.
Like, within seconds.
It's so, and it's like soup.
It's like soup.
And out in, like, California, I've lived in Pennsylvania, Ohio, California, and Arizona.
Arizona and California were the best when it came to humidity because there was, like, none.
Yeah, my mom wants to move to California, like, I was going to say when she retires, but she is retired, but someday she wants to move to California because she's like, the weather's perfect constantly.
Haley can vouch for this also.
Like, Dallas is even more humid and murderous than Boston is.
Jesus Christ.
Like, every day when I was hanging out in Dallas going to where Kennedy got shot, the moment I stepped outside my hotel, it was just...
Just a wall of humid water air just hit you in the face.
And this was mid-October.
This was like getting close to Halloween.
We should be, like, if I was in Boston at that time, I'd be drinking my pumpkin latte, even though I don't drink pumpkin lattes, enjoying the crisp fall air, enjoying the foliage.
In Dallas, it's like just, nope.
Just bonus summer, asshole.
Just enjoy.
Just enjoy the summer that never ends.
And I was like, oh my god.
I remember Power Man 5000, before they were big, on an album that came out, they had a song called 20 Miles to Texas, 25 to Hell.
Not incorrect.
Yeah, it was rough.
And we tried to go to the fair.
Oh my god.
I think it was just too many people and not enough air.
It was just so thick and hot and we didn't last very long at the fair.
And to make it even worse, we were at the fair at like 9 o 'clock at night, and it was still oppressively hot and humid.
It's like, yo, the sun went down like three hours ago.
This shit should be mild.
Again, it should be a cool, crisp fall evening.
Nope, you're just sitting there, shirts sticking to you, just like sweaty, miserable.
I was like, oh my god, fuck this fair.
I guess that's why everybody's so mean down there.
Yeah.
I'm stunned only one person shot at the president.
I really am.
I mean, like, my God.
They should have all just been like, fuck you for making us live here, you prick!
Fuck you for putting a city in this godforsaken hell of a world!
Oh, man.
Well, do you think that maybe we should do, like, a positive?
You know, like, at the end, since we did such a dark two-parter?
I mean, your dad died, which is, I guess, your positive.
Yes!
Yeah, my positive is I'm going to have to research where my father's grave is so I can piss on it.
They have a thing called find a grave.
I'll find it for you, Mike.
Oh, thank God.
Thank God, all of you.
I got to run, actually, but I will drop a positive real quick.
In about two weeks, I'll have a month where I don't have to do nothing because it'll be in between the regular school year and summer school.
And I'm only doing summer school because I need some kind of paycheck during the three months where school's out.
You're a hero.
Thank you.
Have a good dinner.
Say hi to the kiddo.
Yeah, he came over and waved, but you guys were in the heat of the moment, so you didn't notice.
Oh, I'm sorry.
It's okay.
My evil prevents me from seeing children.
It's like vampires not seeing themselves in the mirror.
Our barren wombs.
We've never had.
I just love the way he said that.
It made it sound like we were just aggressively fucking on the pod and just missed out on the kid because we were just so deep in it.
We're like, oh God, you're so good.
Oh God.
And then Eric's kid shumbles in, shumbles away.
And then we're like, and now another thing about Derek Chauvin murdering George Floyd, which is obviously incredibly intense and erotic and passionate.
So yes, because that's what podcasting is.
It's this close to sex.
And by that close, I mean very far away.
It's actually the antithesis.
You cannot be less sexual when you're doing a pod.
It's just a bunch of people trying to hold their thoughts and then stumbling over one another as they try to get their thoughts out.
Yes.
Stephanie, something positive coming up?
Anything you're looking forward to?
Did you have anything fun happen this week?
Yeah, in the role of Hayley, it's Stephanie!
My cat is itching less and her course of steroids and antibiotics is going well.
That's awesome!
Man, pulling teeth for this week's optimism.
Oh yeah, Toothy's doing well too.
I was going to say, my actual optimism is that in two weeks, I get to go to the Clam Shack, which is like the ye olde tourist trap in my area, where they serve seafood cheap.
Not terrible cheap, but it's good, and I can go there and get some shrimp, or if I want a steamed lobster, I can get that.
So, very much looking forward to the Clam Shack opening up for another season at Ye Olde Salem Wolos.
Yeah.
I honestly, I'm not going to talk about what's looking forward.
I'm looking backward.
I'm going to say that I had a very nice week because I went to Bisbee and I had never stayed there, but Stephanie, you stay there sometimes.
We lived there for a year.
Did you go to visit Doug?
No, I don't know him and I don't know if I want to.
I could have hooked you up.
I could have hooked you up.
That's wild that he lives there.
It's so interesting that people actually live there.
Bisbee was awesome, though.
I tagged the fuck out of it and took down the few hateful stickers that I saw.
I saw an Infowars sticker.
Yeah, there are a few.
Yeah.
Yeah.
A lot of kooks.
I talked to a lot because I stayed there for like three days with some friends.
And there's just, everybody wants to talk to you.
It is, like, a really, really nice place.
Would recommend, listeners, if you ever pass through, stay in Bisbee.
It's fun.
You can go into Haunted Mine.
You can tag the whole fucking town.
Because there's tags everywhere.
There's, like, famous artists there.
I saw, like, Muckrock, who's, like, Venice.
A graffiti artist that's pretty good.
I saw her bunnies everywhere and a couple other pieces that she's thrown up.
Yeah, it was cool.
I had fun.
And the library was cool.
I actually did an art event at the library, that Copper Queen Library or whatever.
It's older than Arizona.
Okay, yeah.
Yeah, well, I wish you would have told me ahead of time.
I could have told you some cool places to go or some people to talk to.
What would you recommend?
Well, I always went to a little vape shop in town.
They knew me there.
I used to go to a dispensary, but we had a friend who just gave us everything we wanted.
Mostly when we were there, I would just go on Tatooine walks.
I would put on atmospheric techno music without words.
And I would just walk around the town because it looked like Tatooine.
Like the mountains, the way the mountains were.
There was even a building far off that's kind of circular, almost like some of the Star Wars buildings.
And I would just walk for hours and stuff.
And most of the time...
I used to babysit for Michael Biehn's son, the guy from Aliens and Terminator.
I used to babysit for his son because they had a summer house out there.
They got rid of their summer house.
So I was mostly over at their house, babysitting or cleaning at Doug's house or hanging out at Doug's house.
So I guess that those aren't really things that are open to the public, but that's what I did most of the time there.
There's a good pho place there.
It was called like Doohy's.
That was delicious.
And then also that like, there's like a fucking James Beard award-winning pastry shop there.
That's like French named and I can't say it because I'm not French.
But some people at the art event that I was at like work there and so I tried lots of pastries and I would highly recommend that fucking place.
It's dope as fuck.
It was great.
It was a great relaxing trip.
Did you go to the Dots Diner?
Maybe.
It's right by an RV camp where you can rent an RV.
It's like an RV hotel.
Maybe not.
Okay.
This is such gripping podcasting.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Mike's dying.
Our audience is just sitting here being like, when is Mike just going to jump in and wrap this up?
Bisbee is super cool.
Go to Bisbee!
Then you too can have an incredibly detailed conversation with Shaley and Steph about all the things you can do in Bisbee.
The magical land where events happen and people do things.
Yeah, we're sorry.
I'm sorry.
Haley, we've got to get together again soon.
Just be like, Mike, wrap it up so me and Hayley can off-air talk about Bisbee.
It'd be great.
It'd be fucking incredible.
I'm here for you, girls!
I'm jumping in!
He's being a misogynist.
I am!
If there's anything anyone knows about me, it's the fact that I hate women.
I have another good thing that I thought of.
My Sims game kept crashing and I couldn't save lots.
And I couldn't, like, save games and stuff like that.
And then I cleaned out my tray folder, which was all the saved rooms and lots that I had in there.
And now it works again.
So I just wanted to say, I'm happy about that.
There we go.
We did it!
We did it!
We actually got her to talk about something she's happy about.
And I really, really love my cat and my stuffed animals and my husband.
In that order.
Husband, distance.
They're winning an award.
Anyhow, thank you all for listening.
God, why are you still listening now?
You poor things.
I will pat you on the head and comfort you and pull you tight to my bosom if I could, but I can't.
If you want to support the show more, give us a five-star review wherever you're listening to us.
Or just listen through the ads so that now I get actual paper American money instead of Swedish cronards.
I think they changed that.
I don't know how it works.
Once every two months or so, they say, here's $150, Mike.
And I'm like, wow, thanks.
That means a lot to me.
And boy, howdy, do I ever need it in this moment because I just got royally screwed by my insurance company.
And I'm not happy about it, but we'll talk about that later.
If you want to give me money directly because of that previous mentioned comment about me being upset about things, go to patreon.com slash pokerpolitics.
If we can get a brisk $60 extra a month, I can pay for my rental CPAP machine, according to the scum that run our healthcare system in America.
Yes, it's lovely.
It's wonderful.
It's amazing.
If you don't want to do any of that, just go to love146.org and donate to people that are fighting human trafficking, because that's a good thing to fight.
Human trafficking is bad and awful.
We should stop it.
Beyond all that, we want to thank DJ Minimal Effort for the music that I accidentally remixed and Frosty for our bumps.
Thanks to my co-hosts for being here.
Thanks to you for listening.
All that good stuff.
Have a good week.
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