This week we deal with the horrible abortion ruling in Arizona and Donald Trump trying to wriggle his way out of being a hardcore antiabortionist. Also Elon Musk is a huge moron, so we get to enjoy that. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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| You You | |
| You You | |
| Content warning The Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in depth about QAnon, which means we have to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people. | |
| Listener discretion advised. | |
| Hello, everybody. | |
| I am Mike Rains, a.k.a. | |
| Poker and Politics, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld. | |
| This week, I am joined, as always, by Haley, a.k.a. | |
| Arizona Right Watch. | |
| Hello, everybody. | |
| I am reporting from hell, a.k.a. | |
| Arizona. | |
| How are you all doing? | |
| You can't answer, but... She didn't get raptured. | |
| She's stuck. | |
| She's stuck in hell. | |
| I wore my God's favorite shirt, though. | |
| Yes, but that's a lie. | |
| And you know it. | |
| And I'm also trained in mysterious hell. | |
| Bazinga, my beautiful babies. | |
| Bazinga. | |
| Bazinga. | |
| Yeah, that's right! | |
| This is where I'm finally revealing to the audience that I love The Big Bang Theory. | |
| It's my favorite show. | |
| Do you actually? | |
| No, goddammit. | |
| That would be fucking horrendous. | |
| That would drain all of my credibility. | |
| Even though, again, generally I'm about just letting people do their own thing and like, you know, Everybody can poke fun of it if they want to, but at the end of the day, fuck off. | |
| But like, I mean, I'm judging pretty pretty heavily if they're watching CBS shows like that. | |
| I don't know. | |
| What's another CBS show that I... Let me see if I've ever watched one. | |
| How about Young Sheldon? | |
| Sorry, that was the easiest one. | |
| Like NCIS and... That's the show that everything has come on it, right? | |
| I mean, that's every show in Hollywood. | |
| If you really want to dial down to it, especially Nickelodeon. | |
| I know what she's getting at. | |
| She's talking about Blacklight and stuff. | |
| No, what you were thinking about is SVU. | |
| NCIS is just a dumb cop procedural that was, yeah. | |
| I'm sure there's tons of cum in there. | |
| I'm sure there's tons of cum everywhere. | |
| I bet if I watched it, there's cum. | |
| There wasn't a ton of cum, because I did watch a couple seasons of it. | |
| It was like background noise, and it was... But the thing about NCIS was they just lost every cast member that mattered. | |
| It was like really wild. | |
| Like, I see that it's still on now, and I'm like, everyone that mattered in the show is gone except for Mark Harmon. | |
| That guy can't... Really? | |
| He's such a draw that no one cares? | |
| I love how you're about to say that he couldn't draw himself, and it turns out that... Fuck you, buddy. | |
| Yes, he can. | |
| Yes. | |
| Apparently. | |
| Apparently. | |
| All anybody cares about is the format of the show. | |
| I couldn't help but think about how funny that show would be if they just used the word cum. | |
| Like I just want some guys to be like going over a room with like the forensic equipment. | |
| Some guys just like, Captain! | |
| Got a bunch of cum over here! | |
| And they're just like, run over. | |
| It's like, my god. | |
| It's filled with cum. | |
| Instead of using like fluid or you know, whatever they have to call it. | |
| Like big boy world. | |
| No way. | |
| Semen. | |
| Call it jizz. | |
| I had a I don't know which show it was, but I had like a computer game that I think I just got for free. | |
| And it was one of those shows. | |
| And it was like you had to investigate the crime. | |
| And one of them was you had to search the panties for semen. | |
| That was like one of the point and clicks. | |
| Well, if there wasn't any in there by the time I got to it. | |
| Thank you. | |
| Oh god, for the record, this whole conversation started, like, people want to know if there's a method to my madness, and I will, like, a little peek behind the curtain. | |
| Everything, all the horrible shit that we're talking about right now started literally because at the top of the show, I said a single word, but that word was bazinga. | |
| So, yes, there's a method to my madness. | |
| We're getting into After Dark territory. | |
| Oh yeah, but I actually viscerally kind of hate the Big Bang Theory, because it's just this dumb, weird show that just treats nerd culture as a thing where you don't even write jokes, you just say nerd things, and people are just sort of supposed to laugh at that. | |
| I just find that like so bizarre. | |
| It's like, hey everybody, remember Lord of the Rings? | |
| And then everybody's supposed to laugh. | |
| Yeah, and then there's a laugh track after it, and it's just like, what was the joke? | |
| You just said Lord of the Rings! | |
| And it was like, no, that's a joke. | |
| Bringing up Lord of the Rings is funny to normal people. | |
| Yeah, they'll just be like, hey Sheldon, can you get me that ring off of that table? | |
| And then he would be like, who am I, Bilbo Baggins from Lord of the Rings? | |
| And then he would pause because there would be a laugh track to indicate that was supposed to be it. | |
| They really actually have a laugh track on that show? | |
| I love that shows still do that. | |
| That's so funny. | |
| Oh my god. | |
| I've not even seen one episode. | |
| For the laugh track, he would say Bazinga, and then there would be another pause for | |
| more laugh track. | |
| Oh my god. | |
| Because, dude, the Bazinga. | |
| Have you never seen an episode of The Big Bang Theory? | |
| I've not even seen one episode. | |
| Oh man, it is horrible, but you should for sure watch at least one episode of it. | |
| It's fucking trash. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Check any random episode. | |
| I'll have to find the clip. | |
| There's like the greatest clip that explains what the Big Bang Theory is shit was on Twitter. | |
| And it's basically a character is saying, and now we're going to decide the fate of the He-Man versus Thundercats battle inside Doctor Who's TARDIS with a game of like, blah, blah, blah. | |
| And it's like ping pong. | |
| And then a laugh track hits and the person like pauses the video and goes, what was the fucking joke? | |
| He just said a bunch of shit! | |
| Tell me what's funny! | |
| And then they play it back and there's more laugh track. | |
| He's like, why would people be fucking laughing? | |
| And it's just like, that man is me. | |
| That man has touched my soul. | |
| He understands why this is dog shit. | |
| Because there's no reason why this is funny. | |
| It's literally just nerd shit, nerd shit, nerd shit, nerd shit, laugh track. | |
| Dude, I want to make an A24 style horror movie, but about somebody who's like tormented by a laugh track. | |
| Like, they're not sure if it is some sort of supernatural curse or like a mental illness thing or whatever, but they and only they are tormented by this laugh track. | |
| And it starts to destroy their interpersonal relationships as they start to leave long pauses in their conversation for the laugh track and everybody else is like, what's going on? | |
| It's like the end of the spin off of that movie is the this has happened to me before and I think this has also happened to L where like something has happened where we're doing something. | |
| And a person has just said to us, man, I really wish you'd just, like, go around and narrate my life. | |
| Because, like, we just, like, have this, like, I don't know, weird, zesty, yelly voices. | |
| And just imagining that, where, like, someone's like, man, if only I had a cool narrator for my life. | |
| And then, like, that happens to them and drives them mad. | |
| Because now, like, they're getting, like, Morgan Freeman, like, narrating everything going on in their world. | |
| I feel like at least with a narrator, the fact that it's... the fact that it's words would be one thing. | |
| I feel like it would just be a lot... like, imagine if you're on your, like, second date with a lady. | |
| and you're like getting into the bedroom and it's finally happening and like you have a fork in the woods of things to be tormented by and one of them is Morgan Freeman being like and then he took his still slightly soft penis and started to fluff himself to get rid of the you know and that would be certainly annoying but I think it would be much more annoying if like you take your pants off and it's just like you're just like nervously like like slowly like slowly taking them down that'd be great Oh god, that would be... yeah, that would be pretty horrifying. | |
| I would not be... yeah, I would... you are right on that front. | |
| Laugh Track would be way more disconcerting than narration. | |
| There you go, Guy Firm, I think you should leave. | |
| There's a free idea for you, I guess. | |
| Because it's obviously a hilarious slam dunk, because I'm a genius. | |
| Anyway, how you been, Hayley? | |
| I mean, we're going to have to get into how your state's been later, and that's going to be a bummer, but how have you been personally? | |
| I've been okay. | |
| I saw some flowers this weekend, which were nice. | |
| I saw some saguaro cactus. | |
| Again? | |
| Wow, you've been going flower crazy, huh? | |
| Well, you see, we actually had a really good rain not that long ago here. | |
| We had a pretty good rain season, which is rare in Arizona, so the wildflowers have been going wild. | |
| And they're flowers, so they're nice to look at. | |
| We had a pretty sweet earthquake. | |
| Oh, were you part of that? | |
| Yes, I was. | |
| I was the first person in my office to say, hey, does anybody feel that? | |
| Really? | |
| Congrats! | |
| Because it turned out that there was not in fact a truck idling behind our building. | |
| It was in fact an earthquake. | |
| And I was just like, oh, that's cute. | |
| That's super weird, because I didn't feel anything, and you're more north of me in that spot, and I thought the earthquake was centered south of us, so yeah. | |
| Maybe I just have a sensitive bottom. | |
| Perhaps. | |
| Perhaps. | |
| I mean, for the record, I do, like, frequently take the train, and, like, I am pretty good at feeling vibrations in the ground to indicate that my train is coming within the next few minutes, and, like, getting prepared before I have to hear the bell and shit, so... I think I am slightly just more sensitive to vibrations because of my morning commute. | |
| It's just a thing that I'm, like, sort of trained to do subconsciously. | |
| Just like, oh, my train is here! | |
| But wait a minute, there's no train at my office! | |
| What is this weird vibration? | |
| It's not a train. | |
| Maybe you're like those animals that can detect when bad weather is coming. | |
| Maybe, although I couldn't detect that my fucking roommate was moving out, which I found out the other day when I came home, and I saw him like cleaning up in his room, and I was just like, oh hey man, what's up? | |
| And then later on that evening I looked out my window and saw him packing up all of his shit into his car. | |
| And I was just like, I messaged other roommate and I was just like, is roommate two moving out? | |
| Wow. | |
| And he was just like, yeah, I'm pretty sure I told you about this. | |
| And I was just like, no, you fucking didn't. | |
| I mean, how high do you think I'm getting that I would have forgotten | |
| that one of our roommates is moving out? | |
| No, this conversation never happened. | |
| So I had to message roommate two and just be like, hey, if it seemed kind of fucking weird this week | |
| that I didn't react to the fact that you were leaving and also didn't help to offer help you move | |
| out of your shit, it's because I didn't know you were leaving. | |
| So see you later, I guess. | |
| No. | |
| That's so great, though, that you got out of moving someone out. | |
| That part is pretty nice, yeah. | |
| And also, that roommate was great, because at one point, it was like five or six months after he moved in, he was just like, man, you're the perfect roommate, because I almost never see you, and you don't cause any problems. | |
| He's like, I don't mean that to be rude. | |
| You're perfectly welcome to hang out, but you just do your own thing, and you cause no trouble. | |
| And I'm just like, yeah, that's sort of... Imagine in a world where we were all doing that. | |
| That would be great. | |
| The Elle experience. | |
| Everybody chill vibe and then like, keep your crazy energy for spaces where crazy energy is supposed to be there, like, you know, concerts and stuff. | |
| But otherwise, just get stoned and vibe. | |
| Agreed. | |
| Agreed. | |
| Legalize it. | |
| That's what makes me like onto the modern day Buddha. | |
| My chills and like nature and the fact that I definitely don't talk about stuff I hate constantly, nor do I covet physical stuff. | |
| Other ways in which I just like the Buddha. | |
| Okay, let's get into our amuse boudouche. | |
| It's time for a light sampling of insanity. | |
| Get ready for the amuse-bouche! | |
| So I guess we're talking about Jay Stew again this week? | |
| I think that's what your notes seem to indicate. | |
| Is that the person who we're talking about this week, or did I get that wrong? | |
| No, you got it right. | |
| We're talking about that dum-dum, because he's... It just seems so weird that he would be relevant enough for us to talk about, like, almost back-to-back weeks, I guess. | |
| So, like, what's going on with him? | |
| He's only relevant as long as people talk about him still, which unfortunately still happens. | |
| Well, I mean, we're about to do it right now, Hayley, so... I'm actually not going to engage in this any further. | |
| Wait a minute, is that an option? | |
| This podcast... | |
| This podcast is over. | |
| Oh... | |
| Oh god. | |
| I'm going to go ahead and close out the webinar. | |
| So, yeah. | |
| What was I going to say? | |
| My brain just broke. | |
| So basically what happened was he, Jay Stu, like freaked out and started posting a bunch | |
| of AI art of himself on Twitter. | |
| And it was really, yeah, there was like, it was just very bizarre. | |
| Like, and the thing was, is that it was all like American flag patriotism, Americana, ba ba ba, rah rah, a mom the flag nonsense. | |
| And once people were looking at it, they're like, buddy, what's going on with you? | |
| And instead of like being like, oh yeah, using AI generated avatars for yourself is like ultimate, like sad loser nerd shit. | |
| He's like, no, this is cool. | |
| I'm the ultimate dude. | |
| I'm so great. | |
| And it was like, no, you're not. | |
| You're actually really not great. | |
| Yeah. | |
| We now have double L. There's two L's in the room. | |
| Previous L was not working. | |
| Previous L was a lie. | |
| I don't know if we're keeping this in for the podcast, but previous L was a lie after my funny bit where I even gingerly knocked my mic over. | |
| Heart attack. | |
| I, like, gingerly knocked my own mic over to sell my bit that I was leaving, like, literally two-handed it, like, cradled it down like a baby, but even that was enough to get our recording software to just be like, alright, he's fucking gone, see you later. | |
| So... I thought, like, I thought we got bought, like, you know how, like, people get, like, like, the Zoom bombing? | |
| I was like, oh god, Nazi! | |
| I was about to shut everything off! | |
| No, so then I then I fucking I reloaded that I just had to reload the software and I guess it surfaced me as two of myself for a second there but I was just like damn this this shit is pretty it heard me say that I was leaving and then it since that my microphone tipped over and it was like well I guess he's done it just automatically went to upload my shit I was like what the fuck is going on okay Yeah, I got a graphic that said, like, Elle's recording will continue in a new track, just like Elle's been annihilated. | |
| My screen just suddenly turned into four, and I was like, what's happening? | |
| Oh, man. | |
| Okay, so the last thing I heard was something about J-Stu hanging flags or something. | |
| Yeah. | |
| So, yeah, so he did this thing where he's just like, he was like, look at this sick avatar I made. | |
| And it's like Jace with an American flag behind him. | |
| And it's like, see, it's a sad AI of his like portrait. | |
| And then when people dunked on him for how ridiculous that was, he then like made more of them and he wouldn't stop doing it. | |
| And he just keeps, he just keeps upping the ante about this shit. | |
| Uh, and so, uh, yeah, he's, he's really, he's fully embracing his status as a dumb clown. | |
| Okay, but he looks weak and frail. | |
| Has anybody told him that he looks weak and frail? | |
| That's a... I mean, and that's totally fine. | |
| Like, I mean, I'm not saying, like, you know, a lot of people just, like, sort of look away. | |
| And, like, even just being on camera, that doesn't mean that, like, somebody should just be like, fuck you, buddy, you look weak and frail. | |
| But, like, if you're gonna be out there trying to superpose yourself on some, like, glamour shots to project strength or whatever, it's gonna be like, well... | |
| Now I feel obligated to mention that you do look both weak and frail, you know? | |
| Right, yeah, it's like these people who photoshop Trump's head on the body of a Chinese soldier with ten-pack abs, and they're like, this is what liberals fear, and it's like, you do understand that Trump is nothing like that. | |
| I like the Rocky Trump. | |
| Yes, Rocky Trump. | |
| Sexy Rocky Trump is the greatest. | |
| It's just, oh my god. | |
| The saddest shit. | |
| The other thing that happened that was the more important part of why we're talking about him today was Netflix has a new documentary, like the Antisocial Network I believe is what it's called, and it's about 4chan, 8chan, 8kun, and Gamergate, and all of that stuff, and of course that means that they interview Frederick Brennan. | |
| about his time as being a part of all that. And Frederick's just like, yeah, that shit sucked. | |
| That was a bad part of my life. Like, not great. And Jace do cannot take this because Frederick | |
| Brennan is like literally a big part of the conspiracy. The conspiracy is basically Michael | |
| Flynn and then his inner circle includes Fred. And, and he will not accept that Gamergate and | |
| QAnon and all this other shit just came from a bunch of trolls making shit up and talking shit | |
| on chan boards. It's. | |
| It can't be that. | |
| It has to be a Russian psy-op designed by a super genius, coordinated by Michael Flynn. | |
| Oh, it's Michael Flynn. | |
| It's always Michael Flynn. | |
| It's one of those Russian nesting dolls, and the final doll is always Michael Flynn. | |
| No matter how many layers you pull down, when you get to the bottom, it's always Michael Flynn. | |
| Michael Flynn is the final astronaut shooting the other astronaut. | |
| Yes. | |
| The first astronaut is looking at the Earth, and the Earth is a picture of Michael Flynn, and he's like, it was Michael Flynn? | |
| It always has been. | |
| It's always that. | |
| And that's the thing, is that his whole worldview that... | |
| These, these things had to be carefully orchestrated mastermind plots by Vladimir Putin or Xi Jinping. | |
| And it's like, no, like fucking dumb idiots on the internet make shit up and some of it goes viral. | |
| And then like they fucking get popular off of it. | |
| It doesn't have to be the fucking Illuminati behind everything. | |
| It can just be dipshits. | |
| That is a possibility. | |
| And it's just, it's just like so, He's fighting all the big bads on Twitter. | |
| And he's a true American patriot for doing so. | |
| And we should all thank him for his service. | |
| It's literally his energy. | |
| And don't ask for your $20,000 back, Mika Brown. | |
| Don't, don't, don't do that. | |
| Don't go to the Canadian authorities for your money. | |
| Because you gave that to me, Jay Stu, and I'm fucking keeping it for my lawsuits that I will never file because I have nothing to, I have no legal standing. | |
| Yeah, he's not champing at the bit to give back any money he was gifted. | |
| So weird! | |
| So weird! | |
| Crazy. | |
| Speaking of weird, a big unknown black orb moved under our very potent sun the other day, causing a temporary amount of blackness. | |
| It's so unexplainable that there are a lot of theories floating around as to what could have caused it, including the Lord Christ and all sorts of crazy stuff like that. | |
| Some people may even speculate that it was simply our moon passing between the earth and the sun, but that can't be true. | |
| A big ass? | |
| Was it a gigantic ass? | |
| Dude, I wish. | |
| I love a big ass. | |
| If somebody was like, dude, a cosmic level fucking taped up ass is going to cover the sun. | |
| I would have been out there with my glasses for sure. | |
| As it was, I threw on the glasses temporarily to see it when it was at like 25% assed up, and then when it was like, you know, as assed up as it was going to get for our area. | |
| How assed up did it get for you guys? | |
| Like 85, 90% assed? | |
| Oh, that's a little bit more assed than us. | |
| Yeah, it was pretty, it was pretty caked up for us, but it wasn't like complete darkness. | |
| Although one of my friends who messaged our group chat was just like, Is it just me or did it get like 10 degrees colder? | |
| Is that a thing with eclipses? | |
| And I was just like, yeah, actually. | |
| It's called shade. | |
| It feels, when there's shade it feels cooler. | |
| It turns out that it's something to obscure our primary source of radiation heat. | |
| Yes, that would be, it would be this, it would be that. | |
| Yes, 10 degrees. | |
| You got it bud. | |
| Although I shouldn't bust on it for being inquisitive, you know, like that's that's the sort of thing. | |
| It's not from Arizona. | |
| No Arizonan would ask that because we all know that it's like 20 degrees cooler in our shade. | |
| You know, you got to get under that tree. | |
| And, you know, we don't design the city well. | |
| There's no trees. | |
| You know, it's hard to find a tree. | |
| Arizona's Another Shade Begins at Inception. | |
| No. | |
| No, sorry. | |
| Pull back. | |
| That's for later. | |
| That's for later! | |
| That's Hayley's thing. | |
| And also I used the wrong one. | |
| Anyway. | |
| So, what's going on with the Eclipse? | |
| I knew we were going to have to talk about it. | |
| Hopefully it's juicy. | |
| Mike, give me juicy Eclipse news. | |
| Give me QAnon Eclipse conspiracy theories I'm ready to receive. | |
| Okay, so the first thing that happened was a lot of QAnon people were very upset that they were not raptured and that nothing happened and the storm did not arrive. | |
| I'm upset. | |
| So there became a lot of infighting in the community about this. | |
| And there were people that were attacking QAnon promoters for selling them a false bill of goods. | |
| And this was deeply upsetting and annoying, and they were very aggravated. | |
| And what was the other side of that was that A lot of the people that were, like, ginning up, like, fucking anxiety and excitement over this shit, a couple days before the Eclipse, they were posting stuff like, you know what I ain't worried about? | |
| The Eclipse. | |
| This is all bullshit. | |
| And I actually saw one asshole had the temerity to post a Pepe meme of, like, a Pepe covering the sun. | |
| And he was like, I wonder what Psy-Op they're gonna throw at us next. | |
| The Eclipse was a Psy-Op. | |
| This is what this guy went with. | |
| Which was just like, buddy, like, is every event in your life a PSYOP now? | |
| Like, what does that word even fucking mean? | |
| I know that a lot of people have been making a lot about this to the point where even I've seen the headlines to this effect, but Fox News was expecting, you know, criminals to use four minutes of Surprise Darkness to really get a lot of work done. | |
| They were talking about Four Minutes of Darkness like they were just trafficking. | |
| Yeah, those smugglers. | |
| They're gonna use it as an opportunity. | |
| Four bonus minutes in the middle of the day? | |
| Do you know how many people you could get through in four minutes? | |
| But like, the $30 million- The country was changed after the eclipse, I'll have you know. | |
| The California armored building heist that just happened, they did it without four minutes of extra darkness, you know? | |
| I don't think it really- I feel like four minutes of darkness is not necessary to do big crime. | |
| Imagine what those guys could have gotten done with four extra minutes of darkness! | |
| Holy shit! | |
| Was it the Mothman covering the sun? | |
| Did we get confirmation on that at all? | |
| Uh, no. | |
| The only thing I know about the Mothman was I saw a sticker, I think it was from Stephanie's... It's probably off Tucker now from knocking down that bridge. | |
| Yeah. | |
| That said, like, the Mothman ate my whole ass. | |
| And I was just like, okay. | |
| I'm glad you and the Mothman had a great night together. | |
| I appreciate that. | |
| Mothman has sort of become, like, the weird new poster boy for cryptids. | |
| Like, I feel like Bigfoot has gone beyond cryptid and it's just like a mainstream, like, wacky thing, like a pop culture figure that I'm sure that some people would just imagine was, like, invented by, I don't know, Big Bigfoot, I guess. | |
| Yeah, big Arizona culture, Bigfoot. | |
| But now, uh, but now fucking, dude, Mothman is here. | |
| He's sort of like the new face of cryptids. | |
| It went from Bigfoot to Cthulhu, not really a cryptid, but sort of like in that same space. | |
| And now it's Mothman who's all over merchandise. | |
| And, uh, you know, good for Mothman. | |
| It's time for his time with the sun. | |
| It's pretty cool for him. | |
| Uh, bridge collapse, big time for Mothman. | |
| I mean, my God, like, dude, if ever there was a time to put something on the Mothman. | |
| In exactly the same way, as if ever there were a time for you to say that you saw some fucking UFOs. | |
| It would be eclipse time. | |
| So I don't know, Mike, I don't know if you brought any of your UFO stuff to the table, but I have seen many UFO clips. | |
| I've seen tons of people just be like, dude, look at all this crazy UFO activity around the eclipse. | |
| And yeah, I feel like I feel like some of it is not fake. | |
| I just feel like it's like, yeah, if you simultaneously get a few million people to start suddenly looking up in the sky when they're not prone to, they're going to see any number of the weird things that are up there that you're just like, not normally supposed to see. | |
| Like, including like, like, you know, tools for espionage, like balloons and drones and shit like that. | |
| And it's just like, some of that stuff is pretty interesting. | |
| Some of the stuff is obviously fake. | |
| I went and grabbed a burrito the other day, and a SpaceX was launched nearby, not too far out, and it traveled right over, and it looked like we were getting nuked! | |
| I was a little freaked out for a minute, and then I realized that it was just a rocket ship. | |
| See what happens when you look at the sky? | |
| I think I told my story on the podcast when it happened. | |
| I was sitting on my buddy's porch, like, he's got like a second floor porch, and we were sitting out there smoking and what have you, and I was really stoned, and I'm just sort of like looking off into the night sky, and I see what looks like a slow-shooting star, and then it separates, and like, it looks like a cluster thing, and I had to ask out loud, I was just like, Uh, I was like, I need the record to show, like, is anybody else seeing this? | |
| I mean, is this a meme? | |
| Like, is anybody seeing this thing? | |
| And then everybody turned around and was very mesmerized. | |
| And it turns out it was one of those Starlight launches, but they are pretty spooky when you see them and you're not expecting them. | |
| Like, what the fuck? | |
| I was like, oh shit, we're getting bombed! | |
| And then I was like, wait a minute. | |
| No, it's going the opposite direction. | |
| We're getting opposite of bombed. | |
| Take that space. | |
| We are attacking space itself. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Boom! | |
| Punching space in the throat. | |
| Fuckin' assert dominance on space by filling it with our shit. | |
| As God intended. | |
| God gave us dominion over space and Earth. | |
| Anyway, yeah. | |
| Bunch of cool UFO stuff. | |
| Anything else for the Eclipse? | |
| Anybody got more Eclipse stuff for the table? | |
| Yeah, so the conspiracy theory around the Eclipse, now that it didn't end the world and it didn't lead to the Rapture and all that other fun stuff that was supposed to happen, Was that the eclipse was designed to lure us to commit massive acts of tourism and gather in these large groups under the totality so that then the deep state could spray us all with chemtrails. | |
| And there's a big video that's going viral in the QAnon world of this guy screaming about how they have documentation and medical evidence. | |
| Of all these people being horribly impacted by chemtrails after they saw the eclipse and people are posting photos of the sky, like, like right before the eclipse or like there's like the lines which are obvious chemtrails. | |
| So they're like, yeah, they've set us up. | |
| They brought us into these towns and they gave us a good spray. | |
| And my only question about all this is they've been chemtrailing us for like, what, 50 years now? | |
| Why are we not all dead? | |
| When do the... It's like the vaccine. | |
| When does it kill us? | |
| Because it's supposed to, right? | |
| Or like, to what end? | |
| You know, like, if it's not killing us, if it's doing something else, then like, what? | |
| You know? | |
| And I'm sure that they could pin a bunch of stuff that they hate on chemtrails if they wanted to, but then you'd have to ask them why it's so minimally effective, you know? | |
| The most recent thing they hate, which is the only reason I'm going to use it as an example, please don't crucify me, is transgender folks. | |
| So let's say that they were just like, ah, chemtrails are causing all this trans stuff that wouldn't be a thing otherwise, despite history. | |
| You'd just be like, okay, but even so, why Like, why now and why so little? | |
| Why aren't we all just, like, however you want to demonize those people, you know? | |
| It's turning us liberal. | |
| It's turning us woke. | |
| The centrals are turning us woke. | |
| But why is it happening so slowly? | |
| They've been doing it for so long. | |
| I don't know. | |
| You know? | |
| I feel like a 70-year campaign of any sort of, like, biological agent would have to have a bigger effect than this. | |
| Maybe it gave us all microplastics. | |
| Maybe that's how we got microplasticed. | |
| I think they just did that by shredding and burning plastics. | |
| I think it's just that plastics don't go anywhere, they just become smaller. | |
| Fun stuff. | |
| Yeah, of course. | |
| All the old school conspiracy theories do come out when it comes to an eclipse. | |
| Because eclipse is like an old school style cosmic event. | |
| It's the same way when volcanoes explode and stuff like that. | |
| People just revert to their basest fears. | |
| They start trying to point lasers. | |
| A wildfire hit Hawaii. | |
| I'm sure, like, I'm sure the people that weren't blaming it on Jewish space lasers were trying to claim that it was, like, some form of the Rapture or Satan or whatever. | |
| Marjorie Taylor Greene, did Marjorie Taylor Greene try to tell everybody, like, was it, did she tweet something about the earthquake and the eclipse and all this stuff being, like, God punishing the East Coast? | |
| Yes. | |
| Oh, yeah, yeah. | |
| She was like, absolutely. | |
| Yeah, the earthquake that hit New York is obviously a sign of God's anger against the evil liberals. | |
| I love that he gave himself that name, and then Q was like, we're not using that anymore, so he tried to rebrand himself as the Patriot Voice, and it's like... | |
| Sorry buddy, you're queuing on drawn for now and forever. | |
| And that guy was like, lightning struck the Statue of Liberty. | |
| I think it's a sign that God is furious. | |
| It's like, if God was mad at the Statue of Liberty, wouldn't he just like fucking knock it down? | |
| He's God. | |
| He's all-powerful. | |
| Why is God like, I'm all-powerful and I'm gonna throw this ineffective lightning bolt at a statue I hate. | |
| Wham! | |
| Yeah! | |
| I did that! | |
| I'm God! | |
| And they're just like, yeah, it's clearly a sign, and I'm just like, do you suppose it might be a sign that it's a 50 foot tall metal structure in the middle of the water, and sometimes lightning might hit that? | |
| They're like, no, shut up! | |
| Is it a sign that the Statue of Liberty is literally a giant fucking lightning rod? | |
| That's never happened before! | |
| Shut the fuck up! | |
| We don't know what you're talking about! | |
| God is angry! | |
| Okay, well, if God had a reason to be angry, maybe it's because we were getting too many of them sweet, sweet abortions. | |
| So it's time for us to segue seamlessly into our Arizona news for the week! | |
| Because, of course, Arizona is the state's flaming dumpster and nothing bad ever happens there. | |
| And because nothing bad ever happens there, we have a correspondent from there to talk specifically about there. | |
| Her name is Haley. | |
| She's looking especially goth today. | |
| Well done, big fan. | |
| She's God's favorite according to the shirt she mentioned earlier. | |
| Hi Haley, what's going on in your state this week? | |
| Well, unfortunately we got kicked back to 1864. | |
| That's a year. | |
| Yeah? | |
| Any reactions? | |
| That's a year where the Confederacy still existed. | |
| It is! | |
| They were still throwing some punches. | |
| Not a lot of effective punches, but they were still throwing punches. | |
| So yeah. | |
| Yeah, we just got thrown back to a Confederate-era abortion law when we were still a territory, so not technically a state. | |
| Um, uh, slavery was still, uh, very, uh, much a thing. | |
| Um, Native Americans did not have rights. | |
| Women did not have, uh, rights. | |
| We get it. | |
| It was awesome. | |
| Get to the point. | |
| The age of consent was 10. | |
| Stop drilling! | |
| You've hit oil! | |
| I was literally gonna make a joke about America being great back then, but then you busted out The Age of Consent being 10, and I was like, ooooh! | |
| Can't do it anymore! | |
| Abort! | |
| Abort! | |
| Pull out! | |
| Pull out! | |
| I am glad that I got my initial part of the joke in right before that wire. | |
| That was pretty good. | |
| Yes. | |
| Yes. | |
| But not to say that that joke wasn't incredibly lazy. | |
| That was the lowest take and it's fruit ever. | |
| Yeah, yeah. | |
| L made it. | |
| L slid into home safely. | |
| I was tagged out. | |
| I was dead by like 10 feet. | |
| The catcher was holding the ball, just like, come here, come here, let me tag you. | |
| And I was like, okay, fine. | |
| That's why they call me Mysterious Slidin' in L. I mean, uh... | |
| Mr. Dark. | |
| No, no, no, back to the horrifying social regression of the state of Arizona. | |
| Back to when they were in the territory of Arizona. | |
| Life was great before we were in a fucking state. | |
| Yeah, it was cool. | |
| So anyways, what will this law do? | |
| It bans abortion almost entirely in the state, including in cases of rape and incest. | |
| And there are prison sentences for people, including physicians, who help people obtain an abortion. | |
| Um, so this is a pretty big deal. | |
| This is the most, like, yeah, uh, like, regressive change since the fall of Roe v. Wade, which is, uh, very shitty. | |
| Um, it's not like... | |
| It's not like this was totally unexpected. | |
| that the, you know, since one after, after the, after the decision that ended Roe v. Wade, | |
| Arizona was kind of in a gray zone because there was two, and hey, balloons, I put up two and my | |
| my computer put balloons on the screen. | |
| But, but yeah, there was so distracting. | |
| It really was. | |
| It was like, yay, balloons right in the middle of this. | |
| Yeah, right, right in the middle of this incredibly grim topic. | |
| There's just like, no exception for rape or incest. | |
| no exception for rape or for or incest my my screen went balloon wild | |
| Um, so anyways, um, there were basically two laws that were, um, kind of, uh, just, uh, which one are we choosing to actually be the law of Arizona? | |
| Because it both says that, you know, abortion is banned outright in this territorial law, but back in 2022, Right before, months before the Roe v. Wade decision, Doug Ducey, then Republican governor, signed a 15-week ban. | |
| So it was like, okay, is it going to be the 15-week ban that is the law in Arizona or the full outright ban? | |
| And this has kind of gone back and forth in the courts. | |
| And then, yeah, yesterday the Arizona Supreme Court Made the decision to go with the territorial ban. | |
| FYI, two of these judges, Clint Bollick and Catherine King, are up for a re-election this year or, you know, whatever. | |
| You could keep them or not keep them. | |
| I always vote no on all judges, but these are ones that you should vote no extra on. | |
| Call in the mules for this one. | |
| Um, so anyway, this was obviously it's awful. | |
| Um, and then there was kind of a freaking hilarious reaction from the Republicans who helped put us in this position. | |
| Uh, Carrie Lake, uh, put out a statement where she does not agree. | |
| With the outright ban, even though she's backed it in the past because she's running for Senate and we have more independents in Arizona than Democrats or Republicans. | |
| So yeah, this is kind of an incredibly extreme Uh, you know, like law that will bring out a lot of people voting out for the Democrats, basically. | |
| And a lot of Republicans realize it. | |
| So now they're trying to save their lying fucking faces by being like, well, we don't, we didn't want it to go this far because we also had Matt Kress, who's a lawmaker here, put out a statement saying he didn't support the territorial ban, even though He supported the outright ban in the past, and he was endorsed by the Center for Arizona Policy. | |
| They're one of the leading organizations that helped with this. | |
| Obviously, Carrie Lake supported it in the past. | |
| Doug Ducey also put out a statement that said he did not support the territorial ban. He was the Republican governor | |
| that literally helped put us in this position and signed that shitty fucking 15-week ban that kept this on the books. | |
| And he put those judges on the fucking bench. He handpicked those judges. | |
| Didn't he expand the court to add more judges to get those guys on there as well? | |
| Yeah, he handpicked this court specifically. And Shauna Bullock put out a statement not supporting this. | |
| She is one of the lawmakers who co-sponsored the 2002 abortion bill that, again, helped put us in this position. | |
| And her husband is Clint Bullock, the Supreme Court justice who literally just, uh, decided this yesterday. | |
| Uh, so yeah, these are a bunch of fucking liars. | |
| T.J. | |
| Shope, another one saying that he supported A lawmaker here that say he doesn't support the territorial ban also co-sponsored that 2022 bill. | |
| These are liars who are now worried about their re-election and they would absolutely Get rid of all your rights if it was politically convenient for them and none of these people should ever hold office or ever hold office again. | |
| So that's the gist of that. | |
| There's actually a, also, just to kind of end it, there is going to be, there's an initiative to get abortion enshrined, the right to abortion enshrined in the Arizona Constitution. | |
| Um, it's kind of a big deal here. | |
| It's got already a ton of people have already signed on to this. | |
| It's like they've got way overshot the signatures that they need, but they want to get like a ton of signatures. | |
| To ensure that this makes it through all the challenges that are absolutely going to happen to get this thing on the ballot in November. | |
| So ArizonaForAbortionAccess.org also donate to Abortion funds, because now that it is banned in Arizona, all abortion fund providers have to spend the money to send people out of state or out of country because we're close to Mexico. | |
| That's technically the closest clinic for a lot of us. | |
| So that now abortion funds need a ton of money. | |
| A lot of them already dried up because a lot of people kind of lost interest pretty quickly after the Roe v. Wade decision. | |
| So Arizona needs eyes on their abortion funds. | |
| Thank you for listening. | |
| Peace. | |
| So when is the deadline for the signatures to be submitted for the ballot referendum? | |
| I'm not exactly sure. | |
| Because you've brought this up many times that they've blown through the number they actually need. | |
| And today there's like a ton of businesses that are, that are set up with notaries that are, that are, uh, like taking more signatures. | |
| Right. | |
| But like, when are they going to actually go to the, to City Hall and be like, boom, and just drop the pile of signatures down on the desk? | |
| They technically already did. | |
| They turned in the 500,000, which is 120,000 more than needed, but they're still collecting signatures. | |
| Okay, so yeah, I'm just wondering when it will be official that this quote because that's all because I was definitely So far, without any challenges, going to make the ballot, but they're still just overshooting because there's going to be so many challenges to this. | |
| We are the state that headquarters Alliance Defending Freedom, who is one of the reasons that Roe v. Wade is no longer a thing in the first place. | |
| They are currently the people targeting birth control access, you know, in vitro. | |
| They are Christian fundamentalists, they are fascists, and they're headquartered here. | |
| They have a huge presence here. | |
| So yeah, it's a big reason why this happened. | |
| So yes, Arizona. | |
| If only our audience could have seen the slump you just did. | |
| That was just Haley getting punched in the stomach. | |
| This ghost just like flew into the room and just gave her a sock. | |
| Well, that's bound to happen when you break down the whole vibe of the podcast with your bummer festival. | |
| I'm sorry that I live in Arizona. | |
| I mean, you can point out the hypocrisy. | |
| You can laugh at the hypocrisy of all these Republicans that are like, life begins at conception. | |
| I believe that 100%. | |
| Oh, my numbers are looking bad. | |
| Fuck that. | |
| You know? | |
| Yeah, like, this is the one thing that makes me laugh about this shit so much, is that the abortion issue is what QAnon imagines the adrenochrome actually is. | |
| Because, like, I always say this to these QAnon people, that I'm like, hey, if the evil liberals were actually draining the blood out of children in order to obtain eternal life, or whatever the euphoric joy of adrenochrome is, Wouldn't Trump like stop that and get incredible popularity in the polls for preventing child murder and demonic worship? | |
| And people are like, Oh, you don't understand, man. | |
| And, but, but abortion is actually that, because these people think abortion is murder. | |
| And they think that it's a sacrifice to Moloch that's being made. | |
| But at the same time, they're like, look guys, America ain't ready to say no to Moloch just yet. | |
| So maybe we have to temper ourselves a little bit. | |
| Maybe just ease up and allow a little murder so we can win some elections. | |
| And it's just, no. | |
| The whole point of having principles is that you take a fucking stand. | |
| And even if you end up losing, you were principled in the loss. | |
| That's how principles work. | |
| I'm also astonished by the fact that, like, you know, our culture is driven by misogynist men who just do everything for their own self-pleasure, and somehow, like, the abortion issue is something that they hate. | |
| It just seems like such a slam dunk that they would love it. | |
| They're just like, oh, I'll wait for it. | |
| Especially, I don't know, man, every time this issue comes up, The fact that there's no, there's always the two things that are carved out for stuff, right? | |
| Where it's just like, no abortion unless, you know, like rape or incest, which leads me to believe that if your state is not in favor of that, that your state is sort of like tacitly in favor of incest. | |
| I'm just like, so gross. | |
| Anyway. | |
| Also, I just want to say that, you know, Wendy Rogers, white supremacist lawmaker here, was obviously very in favor of this decision. | |
| The Arizona Freedom Caucus, which is made up of, like, Turning Point USA people and a bunch of other shitty fascists, they put out a statement praising this. | |
| But also, I'm sure maybe you guys saw some of this. | |
| Mike, you probably saw this. | |
| The day before the decision came down, It was announced like it was news that like the like at 10 a.m. | |
| the next day it was going to be announced and far-right lawmaker Anthony Kern was seen praying in tongues on the Seal of the Senate floor with like a father like other religious like a religious group over the dislike praying for the the decision this guy like was he start like | |
| He was at January 6th and he definitely went past the barricades. | |
| He went past areas he wasn't supposed to go. | |
| He was part of the Cyber Ninjas audit. | |
| He was a lawmaker and then he lost his seat and then now he's a lawmaker again. | |
| He's like a Sean Foyt guy. | |
| I've seen him at like Sean Foyt events absolutely fangirling over that guy. | |
| So yeah, he was- that went kind of viral because he was- they were like Babbling in tongues, praying. | |
| And this one lady that's in a shirt that says, like, a huge lettering that says, like, Thank God Roe Fell, like, looks back like she could tell, like, looks if they're being filmed. | |
| Did you guys see that? | |
| Did either of you see that? | |
| I saw the video. | |
| I did see the video of the people kneeling. | |
| I didn't, I didn't play it with audio, so I didn't hear the... But I did, I did see all the people kneeling and I was like, Oh God, this is... | |
| This is insanity. | |
| This is just absolute fucking pure, unadulterated mental illness. | |
| I didn't see it, but seeing how excited you were at the possibility that I had makes me wish that I had. | |
| So I apologize. | |
| I'll send it to you at some point. | |
| People should look it up because that's who just got a W for the next few months at least. | |
| I mean, more than a few months. | |
| But this is like, it sucks because like, I really do think the initiative will have, I think it'll, if everything goes Smoothly, and I think they have a smart team with this abortion initiative to get it enshrined in the Arizona Constitution. | |
| Um, I think they have a smart group, like, leading this. | |
| So I do have hope that it will bring out people and it will pass. | |
| Um, but, uh, I forgot where I was going with this. | |
| That's fine. | |
| If you clip off a little butt, that's ending on some positivity. | |
| You have hope. | |
| I do have hope. | |
| That's what I, I do hope. | |
| Okay. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Because I was gonna say, I do want to say though, I, I, I do have hope that it will pass, but in the meantime, these few months is going to be really hard for people. | |
| I mean, you know, there's no exceptions for rape and incest. | |
| That's pretty harsh. | |
| That's pretty disgusting. | |
| And yes, again, just abortion funds in Arizona could use help right now. | |
| That's all I've got to say. | |
| All this abortion talk is making me super wet, so let's get into our new segment. | |
| From the digital headlines to the digital front lines, it's Q's in the News! | |
| Shout out to any of our listeners that got that Human Giant reference, and also I am obligated to sort of, you know, that's not an LBAS original. | |
| That's definitely not, you know, I don't want to take credit for that for a multitude of reasons. | |
| Anyway, okay, moving on to our news for the week. | |
| Thank God we are done talking about that topic. | |
| Oh wait, no we are not! | |
| Uh, of course, now we have to talk about Donald fucking Trump's opinion on the fucking matter! | |
| This, honestly, like, for me, this was, like, one of the most hilarious things ever, because I love watching his terrible videos that he films for Mar-a-Lago, and this video, I mean, It's, I mean, Donald Trump's a horrible monster, and looking at him makes a lot of people sick, and I get that. | |
| But this video, this four and a half minute long video where he tries to explain his view on abortion, it's just absolute comedy gold, because his fucking bronzer is so fucking unevenly put on. | |
| You can just, like, see the sides of his face. | |
| You can see his temples, and, like, where his cheeks, like, meet his hairline. | |
| Honestly, that's, like, sort of happened a lot recently. | |
| I feel like everyone's just sort of giving him this weird pass for looking like he's wearing somebody else's face. | |
| Yes! | |
| But the thing that made this so funny to me is that, like, these videos, they usually, when Trump does these videos, it's usually edited together where you do, like, the head, the straight-on camera one, and then camera two's at, like, a 75-degree angle, so you get, like, a three-quarter shot on the side of the face. | |
| And on this one, the edits were done with just sort of like a Trump upper body and then the cut would be Trump full body, like waist up. | |
| And then they would cut back to the tight shot going to the other cut. | |
| And it was just like, I could just tell that the people doing this were just like, you know, the three quarter cut looks real bad here because the lack of blending on the bronzer is so fucking bad. | |
| We can't do it. | |
| We need to just keep Trump Straightforward face to the camera the whole way. | |
| It's like the people who did the thing about if the Simpsons were looking directly at the camera, how fucking bizarre they would look. | |
| It was basically the opposite of that, where they were just like, we can't show you Trump in profile, because it's hideous. | |
| Which is unfortunate, because that's how it's going to... If he ever wants to be put on one of our glorious coins, it's going to have to be... | |
| Although, I guess it being in all silver does get away from a lot of that issue. | |
| He's got to hope that we don't have crazy future coins, you know? | |
| That he's really going to be fucked. | |
| So, like, that was the first thing. | |
| The second thing is that this thing was an absolute, this thing was a train wreck on the edit. | |
| Because again, I told you, this was a four and a half minute video and I watched it. | |
| There were 14 fucking camera cuts in this four and a half minute video. | |
| He's so off the rails that they're just like, oh shit, okay, edit that, edit that. | |
| It's like, at one point they did an edit when he was congratulating the six Supreme Court justices that struck down Roe. | |
| And he was just like, Chief Justice John Roberts, and then they just did a quick cut to Clarence Thomas. | |
| And it was just like, how did he, like, what did he fuck up so bad that you had to leave something on the cutting room floor between those two words? | |
| He said the N word twice. | |
| Seems incredibly likely! | |
| Oh my god! | |
| And... | |
| And again, he was just riffing and it was really stream of consciousness, even with 14 edits. | |
| And that was the thing that was like, blew my mind about this. | |
| Because Trump had been posting on Truth Social and there had been a lot of media buzz. | |
| They're like, Trump is going to come out with his stance on abortion. | |
| Like Trump to give major announcement. | |
| And usually when that shit happens, when you know, you're like, I know running for president. | |
| You go to a swing state, you get a bunch of people on stage holding signs saying, Women for Trump, and you have a little stagecraft, and then they play Trump's, like, music that some artist is going to tell him to fucking stop playing at his rallies because they don't want to associate with him, and then Trump gets up to the podium and then he Gives his word salad about abortion and how he feels about it. | |
| And they can't even do that with this guy. | |
| Like, literally, this was supposed to be a big, huge turning point in the Trump campaign, where he finally puts the abortion issue to bed once and for all. | |
| And We don't even get a campaign rally. | |
| It's just literally him recording a video at Mar-a-Lago with heavy editing and his makeup job looking more terrible than usual. | |
| And literally all he did was say, I'm so glad I killed Roe v. Wade. | |
| That was a great thing I did and everyone wanted me to do it and I did it and it was good. | |
| But now I need to win some fucking elections. | |
| So, whatever a state decides is good. | |
| Whatever the state decides, we just accept that. | |
| That's just the way it is. | |
| Some states will allow Moloch to continue to steal the souls. | |
| Other states, not so much. | |
| But that's fine. | |
| And apparently that's not even... well, because of course that sort of seems like it would be a position. | |
| He couldn't even stick to that position, because once the Arizona thing came down, he was one of the people, like Hayley mentioned, that was just like, well, I mean, I don't know if we... that wasn't what I meant. | |
| Like, you know... | |
| Oh yeah! | |
| The Biden social media campaign posted a clip, and it was Trump's statement after the Arizona decree. | |
| And it was just from his speech where he was like, I'm proud to have killed Roe v. Wade. | |
| And all these right-wingers were like, this is disinformation! | |
| This is bullshit! | |
| They're fucking lying! | |
| And it's like, Well, then what did Trump really say? | |
| And get that out there. | |
| And politics ain't beanbag. | |
| And every time Trump gets in front of a camera to talk about abortion, he's like, I'm proud I killed Roe, and then we'll get to my next line, whatever my next line is going to be. | |
| So it's like, hey, tough shit. | |
| You made this bed. | |
| Lie in it. | |
| You get to lie in your bed now that you made, you fucks. | |
| It's just so funny that, like, as El just said, that Trump himself is just so angry at the backlash to these abortion bans. | |
| He's just like, he's like, dammit, let me win this election, you idiots! | |
| Like, just shut up about the abortion. | |
| Let people kill babies as long as I can win the election. | |
| And then we'll get to people. | |
| He has repeated this constantly. | |
| He's like, look everybody, we need to win this election. | |
| So stop fucking- Maybe the person thinks it's fucking weird that, uh, like, | |
| candidates running for president of the United States are actively, like, constantly working around these issues. | |
| And it's clear that the majority of Americans are, like, either strictly for or strictly against. | |
| And they're just like, I want to represent you, the American people. | |
| It's just like, well, we overwhelmingly support abortion. | |
| It's just like, I mean, that's not what I meant when I said that. | |
| So, I'm in on other things. | |
| Like, I want to support You know, I want to support being in the house that you built for the president and playing golf on your behalf. | |
| It's just very dumb. | |
| I don't think there's a poll out there that shows that Americans aren't overwhelmingly in favor of some amount of abortion. | |
| You know what I mean? | |
| Like, the degree, the timing, the exceptions and all that stuff, but like, if you went to a majority of Americans, it would just be like, are there circumstances under which you're just like, abortion, yes. | |
| And they would just have to be like, yeah, here are the circumstances. | |
| For me, because the woman wants it. | |
| Because fuck you. | |
| Obviously. | |
| Yeah. | |
| That's... yes. | |
| Because it's like healthcare. | |
| And we shouldn't be regulating healthcare and banning it. | |
| That's like fascist. | |
| Say you had a thing inside of your body that you did not want there. | |
| Would you like the opportunity to go have a medical person remove that from you? | |
| Yes. | |
| I mean, that sounds pretty sweet. | |
| So let's do that. | |
| Uh, but you know, not everybody's on board with that because some people are stupid. | |
| But at the end of the day, almost everybody supports some amount of it. | |
| So it's just super weird that the president wouldn't just be able to come out and just be like, some amount of abortions, yes! | |
| To a chorus of cheers. | |
| Yeah. | |
| I mean, that's, and that's, that's one of the things that I think is like a massive miss, uh, it's a, it's something that people think about Trump that is not true. | |
| Cause like, I see these people talking about it when it comes to, in 2016 it was, is omnipresent where people were like, Oh God, Trump is just like so craven and so desperate for attention. | |
| He might do anything. | |
| He might like outflank Hillary on healthcare and pass Medicare for all. | |
| Like, and, and nowadays people are just like, well, but, Trump just wants to be popular. | |
| So maybe he'll be better for the Palestinians than Biden will be. | |
| And it's just this idea that like Trump just has no principles means that like he could potentially do a good thing for unprincipled reasons. | |
| But that's not true. | |
| Because the Trump does have one principle and it's owning libs. | |
| He just wants to own the libs and crush them. | |
| And like, literally, that's all the audience really wants from him. | |
| Right! | |
| The people he wants love from are people who just want to see the libs get owned. | |
| So that's the echo chamber he's inside of. | |
| That's what he wants to do in order to get the attention he's craving. | |
| And when he became a national political figure was in 2012, when he was literally saying Obama was an illegal president because Trump was a birther. | |
| And that wasn't a popular thing to do, but it was a popular thing to do in the right-wing bullshit sphere. | |
| And that's what got him going. | |
| And once he got that first hit of negative attention for being a birther, That was his whole life at that point was, oh shit, if I hit this button, right-wingers will love me. | |
| So it's like, it's like, no, no. | |
| If only he had just parlayed that into being one of these dumb conservative media empire goons with like political clout because they have a bunch of money. | |
| Like, you know, if we had to have a Donald Trump, I wish that that was the one that we got instead of the one that somehow managed to become president of the United States for four years. | |
| It's incredibly fucking bizarre. | |
| So dumb. | |
| Not quite sure how we let that happen once. | |
| Weird that it might happen again. | |
| Yeah. | |
| It's just like, oh my god. | |
| I've watched all these things about the different time streams. | |
| People were talking about how Donald Trump almost bought the Buffalo Bills at one point. | |
| And it's like, man, if he had done that, he would have been just too busy running a football team for any of this other bullshit in his life. | |
| And it's like, goddammit, like, why did things break in such a way that we now have stupid orange Hitler as this constant threat in our lives for the last 12 years? | |
| It's just, oh my god, it's just so frustrating. | |
| And then we get to deal with all his crappy failed sons and failed daughters when he's gone. | |
| Well, they don't have the same- They don't have the same clout, but we'll have to deal with them in some way. | |
| Oh, yeah! | |
| Oh, oh, Don Jr.' 's gonna- Don Jr.' | |
| 's gonna move to some blood-red state and become a senator. | |
| You fuckin' know it. | |
| Like, Don Jr.' 's gonna be, like, a senator from Arkansas or Mississippi in the near future. | |
| Like, his own personal militia. | |
| You know? | |
| Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| Like, he's gonna turn, like, Louisiana or fuckin' something into, like, the fiefdom of Trump. | |
| It's gonna be, like, Like, like, when his father, like, croaks, like, the Deep State killed my pappy and now I'm here in, like, Louisiana to save everybody from the evil Deep State. | |
| And we grow cocoa plants! | |
| Far as the eye can see! | |
| Yes. | |
| Oh, God, yes. | |
| And don't you worry about why. | |
| Just riding around on a horse with a powder around his fuckin' nostrils with like a fuckin' shotgun lazily slung over his side. | |
| Anyway, thank God we're done talking about abortion, at least for the time being. | |
| What a stupid and needlessly sticky wicket. | |
| Just figure it out, you fucking goons. | |
| Let women do what they want with their bodies. | |
| You stupid goons. | |
| Now, speaking of stupid goons, we get to talk about Elon Musk, of course, because the podcast wouldn't be complete without us talking about Donald Trump and Elon Musk back to back. | |
| Okay, so, the good news is, this week, Elon Musk news is pretty juicy and hilarious. | |
| It's really fun. | |
| And I love it so much. | |
| So, Mike, as always, I'll turn it over to you. | |
| Tell us, how did Elon Musk hang himself this week? | |
| So basically, Elon Musk posted a tweet where he declared that a man, Ben Brody I believe was his name, he basically accused Ben of being part of a Patriot Front. | |
| A white nationalist group of people that QAnon and a lot of right-wingers think is like a fake front, that they're like some sort of anti-fuss sleeper agents designed to make right-wingers look bad. | |
| Patriot Front is a neo-Nazi group founded and led by Thomas Rousseau. | |
| They have cells throughout the country, including here in Arizona. | |
| Um, and, uh, yeah, they're very, like, white identity, you know, no, you'll see their propaganda stickers sometimes if you go in, like, downtown areas. | |
| It's like, no drugs, no communism, you know, that kind of shit, like, we must protect our race, stolen not conquered type shit. | |
| No drugs, no communism, no thank you. | |
| Pass, sir! | |
| I have no interest in your weak club. | |
| I will join my club where there are some drugs and some communism. | |
| They, these are white supremacists, these are Nazis, so yes. | |
| And one got unmasked, a man got unmasked at a rally and got misidentified. | |
| That's, yeah. | |
| Right. | |
| Did it turn out to be billionaire Bruce Wayne? | |
| No. | |
| If only. | |
| So Elon got sued for defamation. | |
| The case was allowed to go forward. | |
| And Mark Bankston, who was a lawyer who deposed Alex Jones in the Texas Sandy Hook cases, not the Connecticut ones that were the billion dollar fucking ass paddling ones. | |
| So, uh, Mark Bankston got to, uh, depose Elon and this, um, led to a bunch of information coming out, like the weird Elon test, uh, account, which is a child, which it looks like a child pretending, uh, it was actually Elon. | |
| It was actually Elon pretending to be a small child on Twitter talking about weird shit. | |
| And the Elon test account- He was pretending to be his kid, right? | |
| Yeah, I think it was really gonna be like his kid or something was going on. | |
| It's really weird. | |
| Like hitting on ladies, right? | |
| Like that is among other weird shit. | |
| But I think he was like on that account, like, talked to like, another kid for the disowned disowning dad. | |
| Yeah, I mean, dude, like you've already produced children that you're already ignoring. | |
| Don't you don't need to imagine new ones. | |
| And, um, So there are there are Twitter feeds that now literally have all of the Elon test tweets like archived. | |
| And I think the Elon test account is also still up so you can just look at that. | |
| On top of that, there's a great part where Elon, the guy who started banning people for doxing Stone Toss and not even doxing him, just giving out his name. | |
| One question was asked, and you replied, always remove their masks, correct? | |
| And Elon answered, yes, I think we want to shine a light on who's ever doing these things. | |
| So Mr. How-Dare-You-Name-The-Nazi was also like, yes, unmask Antifa and the Patriot Front people and expose them for their crimes. | |
| I believe he was also confused as to actually who was bringing the lawsuit against him, correct? | |
| I think that was one of the funny things, where he believed that the lawyer that was talking to him was the one suing him, and the lawyer was just like, you do know that I am simply representing my client who is bringing this lawsuit against you? | |
| And I was just like, no no no, in my eyes, you are the one doing it! | |
| And it's just like, yeah! | |
| That's actually L teeing me up perfectly here. | |
| Bankston, you're aware Ben Brody is someone who's sued you, right? | |
| Musk, I think you're the one suing. | |
| Bankston, actually Mr. Musk, I'm an attorney. | |
| Do you know that? | |
| I'm an attorney representing Mr. Brody. | |
| Musk, yes, but many times I've found that the actual plaintiff is the attorney. | |
| Uh, Bengston, okay, but that's just an assumption you're making, right? | |
| Like, you don't know anything about Ben Brody. | |
| Musk, I don't. | |
| Bengston, okay, you understand that Ben Brody has filed a lawsuit against you. | |
| Musk, I, in my opinion, you're the one filing the lawsuit. | |
| That's great. | |
| No, you are. | |
| No, you're doing it. | |
| No, you are suing me. | |
| You're the one here. | |
| That has to be how it works, right? | |
| Yes. | |
| It's just, he's so annoying. | |
| It's just like, oh my God. | |
| A little later on in the thing. | |
| Bankston, okay. | |
| I'd like you to know, though, that you are aware there's a piece of paper that has a lawsuit on it that says Ben Brody versus Elon Musk. | |
| That is actually what I'm wanting to know. | |
| Musk, yes. | |
| Bankston, okay. | |
| Musk, technically. | |
| Technically, Ben Brody is the one suing me. | |
| I think it's really you who are the one suing me. | |
| Oh man, note to self, idea for bonus content, Elon Musk deposition theater. | |
| Or just conservative deposition theater, that'd be great. | |
| That would be fine. | |
| Yeah, it's like that lady rep for the brand on TikTok who does all the crazy depositions. | |
| Yeah, or that one that went big viral back in the day before Justin Roiland was all toxic and shit, like when the Rick and Morty court deposition hit YouTube. | |
| Fucking hilarious. | |
| Yeah, oh yeah. | |
| Elon Musk is such a ding-dong. | |
| I just love the idea that even talking to a lawyer who's just like, I am essentially here instructing you that I am not the one Suing you. | |
| I'm doing a good job in representing the person suing you. | |
| Elon Musk is just like, no, I refuse to acknowledge that. | |
| It's you. | |
| You're the one doing it. | |
| It's you. | |
| It's so dope. | |
| I've never been sued or sued anybody. | |
| I understand the process. | |
| I think in like Elon's world what he thinks happened here was | |
| was. | |
| That Ben Brody was just like, oh man, Elon Musk just tweeted out to a billion people that I'm an anti-fuss sleeper agent, white nationalist or something. | |
| And then Mark Bankson called up Ben Brody and was like, hey Ben, would you like to get some money from Elon Musk? | |
| And Ben Brody was like, boy, golly gee willikers, would I? | |
| And then Mark Bankson was like, ha ha ha, boy, do I have a plan for you. | |
| It makes me wonder, does Elon Musk know he can settle? | |
| Like, if I ever had cause to settle for, to sue Elon Musk, I would just be like, Elon Musk, I'm going to sue you for $100,000,000,000,000. | |
| And then just under the assumption that he doesn't know what a settlement is, and later on in the line I could just get word to him and just be like, hey man, you know you can just like give me $20,000,000,000 and this will go away, right? | |
| And I'll sign a piece of paper that says I'll never talk about it again. | |
| He'll be like, what? | |
| Yeah! | |
| And I'll be like, yeah, totally! | |
| And we'll shake hands. | |
| It'll be great! | |
| Oh my god. | |
| Yeah, who knows? | |
| The absolute dream. Wow, nobody ever tell Lina Al-Masih you can settle. He'll fuck you. We'll | |
| never hear about another court case. I mean, doesn't, isn't he still allegedly worth hundreds | |
| of billions of dollars? Like, why is any case against him ever making it? But like, did he | |
| knew what was up? Like that, that, that lady, the first domino to fall, like tipped over slightly | |
| and he immediately cut her a check. | |
| Granted, it wasn't enough to not destroy him, but he tried. | |
| Lord knows he tried. | |
| He was like, no, no, no, no, less than 24 hours. | |
| He was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Okay, speaking of everybody winning, let's get to our listener mailbag. | |
| Our listeners got questions, we got answers. | |
| It's time for Q&A. | |
| Cleodora Silvestri, the Hellworld Grand Inquisitor, asks, So far, Politically Correct was replaced by SJW, which was itself replaced by Critical Race Theory, and then by WOKE, and now DEI. | |
| What will be the next hot new right-wing dog whistle to signify, you should hate them because they're black? | |
| Just the N-word. | |
| We're just gonna go straight to it. | |
| I think, I think that that could happen if like Trump's brain rot just gets so bad, he actually just like says the N-word out in public. | |
| And then Republicans, instead of disowning him, will just be like, wait now, why is that so bad? | |
| What? | |
| What? | |
| Elon's Twitter's already really just hitting that word often in my for yous, you know? | |
| Yeah. | |
| Anyways. | |
| Uh, anyone else? | |
| What do you think the next dog whistle will be? | |
| Whoa, Elle died. | |
| Yeah, oh no, oh no. | |
| So I think that the next thing that could happen would be, oh man, that's a sticky wicket. | |
| It's a tricky little thing to think of, because it's just like, what is the new wave of Because Affirmative Action was another thing they brought up and crushed and got mad at. | |
| So it's like, what is the new thing where you can talk about that kind of... Yeah, it's hard to predict the future. | |
| But I did see a... I saw a TikTok creator who is a person of color. | |
| They were talking about how they heard, like, Gen Z, or, like, you know, like, kids making up new slang, and I had never heard of this, and they said that they had heard people referring to other folks as basketball people, as, like, this new, like, soft, like, soft racist thing, and I was just like, damn, what the fuck? | |
| Like, that's crazy. | |
| I've never, like, that's, I mean, it's literally new to me. | |
| It made me feel so old. | |
| It's kind of like the 4chan, like, quote-unquote jogger. | |
| Oh, that's rough. | |
| Yeah. | |
| That's more, for me, that's more viscerally rough. | |
| It's a reference to Ahmed Aubrey. | |
| Yeah, I bet it is. | |
| Yeah, so they do, yeah, there is like other dog whistles that mean the n-word on the internet. | |
| Yeah, what's really funny about that was I saw that, and I didn't get it, and then people clued me in, and I was like, oh no. | |
| Oh no. | |
| But the biggest problem with, like, pretending something like this is that unfortunately these people take a thing that is a real turb or whatever, and they will... | |
| Start to use it pejoratively in their circles until it becomes their dog whistle, you know what I mean? | |
| Like, woke was a term in black culture long before racist white people got to it. | |
| They got to it, they ruined it, now it's ruined. | |
| But like, they did not invent that, as far as I know. | |
| Oh. | |
| And like, DEI and all that stuff. | |
| Just like a term that people are using to try to be more inclusive in literature, discussing | |
| programs and stuff. | |
| And then they seize upon that. | |
| So it's really impossible to predict what the next one of those is without like reading | |
| through government handbooks, which I don't super do very often. | |
| But it will be fun to try to point, like it is a fun game to try to point out, like in | |
| the future, like when you're reading stuff. | |
| If you see a new term that you've never seen before, just be like, is this gonna be it? | |
| Is this the next one? | |
| Huh? | |
| Yeah, I mean that's the thing about this is that it's all about, because what we're saying is that people eventually figure out that what you're saying is racism. | |
| Like literally what you're talking about is something is happening to benefit non-white people and that's happening because non-white people are inferior to white people and that's why I'm saying this thing, but I have to say it in code so people won't get mad. | |
| But the way language evolves, eventually the normies break the code so you no longer have a dog whistle. | |
| Like, there was some fucking asshole posted a photo of the mayor of Baltimore and he called him a DEI mayor. | |
| And then there were a bunch of Republicans and a bunch of right-wingers like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! | |
| That is not cool! | |
| That is not what DEI means! | |
| You back down from that! | |
| And it's like, buddy, no, that is what it means. | |
| Like, when you guys use DEI, you mean the N-word. | |
| Literally all these other words you're using are just slurs. | |
| We've all seen the fucking guy talking about the Southern Strategy and how you do it. | |
| We get it. | |
| So it's just like, Jesus, like, yeah, you're yick. | |
| So yeah, that's what do they move to next is the big question. | |
| And we'll find out basically is the answer. | |
| Hard to predict, but we'll be on the lookout. | |
| Yes. | |
| Eric, the Deep State Operative asks, favorite post-apocalyptic setting and why? | |
| Examples include The Stand, Fallout, Mad Max, The Postmen, Metro 2033. | |
| Borderlands. | |
| The Borderlands setting. | |
| How offended am I supposed to be that they felt like they needed to give us a list of examples? | |
| That's my first question. | |
| No, it's good. | |
| It's good. | |
| Thank you. | |
| I also do like the Mad Max setting just because I like Borderlands and Mad Max like Pandora in Borderlands because it feels like Arizona. | |
| Do you really like the first Mad Max aesthetic when it's just like a suburb of Queensland? | |
| I'm talking the Tom Hardy one. | |
| Oh, Fury Road. | |
| Yeah. | |
| It feels very Arizona. | |
| It looks like Arizona in its current. | |
| That is how we travel, actually. | |
| Um, yeah. | |
| Haley's here to skate to one song and one song only, and that is Arizona. | |
| If it looks like Arizona, she's in. | |
| If it's about Arizona, she's about it. | |
| I like the desert. | |
| I like the desert. | |
| That's what I actually like. | |
| I love that you've got authentic hometown pride. | |
| It's adorable. | |
| It doesn't have to be confined to the borders of Arizona, but I do like desert aesthetic. | |
| I really do like cactus. | |
| I really do like the nature that just Arizona conveniently has. | |
| So yeah, I do kind of like that desert Look, that just kind of like cactus, dirt, mountains that are beautiful and giant. | |
| Um, look, it's cool to me. | |
| Nice. | |
| There we go. | |
| Uh, for me, let's say, I'm trying, I want to think of one that's not on that list of examples to really stick it to our listener for daring to give you the audacity. | |
| How about Adventure Time? | |
| There we go. | |
| Boom. | |
| There's a nice trendy history. | |
| Oh, that is a good one. | |
| Yeah, wow. | |
| You went outside the box on that one. | |
| I'm totally cool with that. | |
| It's nice and light. | |
| I do really like Adventure Time. | |
| If I had to live in any of these post-apocalypses, Adventure Time definitely seems like the one to go. | |
| It's so fucking light and fluffy compared to the rest of them. | |
| Except when you get into the Ice King's horrible backstory. | |
| Oh, I mean, the story is, the story is completely dark, but generally, like your general population Adventure Time character is just like a delightful goober surrounded by other delightful goobers and potentially something sudden and it will befall you. | |
| People are candy. | |
| Candy is the land. | |
| I could be candy. | |
| Like I'm already, I'm already like a fat dude. | |
| Like I would make candy very easily. | |
| Hell yeah. | |
| Adventure Time is my answer. | |
| Let's go. | |
| That's good. | |
| We're all wild animal cell, so yeah. | |
| I'm going to go with Fallout, because that was also off, not on his list. | |
| And I think that that is kind of just like the standard, that's kind of just standard dystopia. | |
| The non-zombie apocalypse dystopia is just the nuclear annihilation dystopia. | |
| And I think that That kitschy retro 50s futuristic shit, it just really scratches a specific itch for me. | |
| I've always loved it. | |
| Even when I was a little kid, I loved Flash Gordon Ray Gun stuff, and I was like, dorky looking rockets like that. | |
| I've always also been charmed by Fallout. | |
| Are you going to watch the Amazon series? | |
| Hell yeah! | |
| As of this recording, it is dropping this evening, and I plan on watching it this evening, yes. | |
| Yeah, I'm in for that, mostly just because Walter Goggins is in it, and that guy's awesome, so I'll basically just watch anything that guy does. | |
| Cause he was incredible and justified and his part in Lincoln, he absolutely killed. | |
| So I'm just, I'm just a fan of him. | |
| And also the shield. | |
| I'm not going to let people forget that he got his start in the fucking shield, or at least he got his big break in the shield. | |
| That was the first episode. | |
| I forgot. | |
| I forgot that. | |
| I completely forgot that. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Jesus Christ. | |
| Yeah. | |
| He was Vic Mackey's Radiant Man in the shield. | |
| Yeah. | |
| He was Shane in the shield. | |
| He was a big do-ins in that show. | |
| And that show was like actually like a big deal for the first few seasons. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Oh yeah. | |
| Then it went off the rails. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Oh yeah. | |
| But I mean, I, God, I'm so glad you unlocked the shield in my mind. | |
| Cause I just like, Oh man, that show was so good. | |
| Like, uh, I was like mad when I'm, when I'm just mad whenever I remember that CCH Pounder didn't get the Amanda Waller role in any of the movies, any of the series. | |
| Cause like she seems like she'd be like perfectly set up for that. | |
| So yeah. | |
| And, um, But yeah, I'm for Fallout, and I'm definitely gonna check out that show. | |
| So, we'll see. | |
| Excellent question, dear listener, despite the fact that I was chastising you for giving us a list of examples. | |
| That was a great question. | |
| I know, be nice! | |
| No, that's not what I'm here for. | |
| Every talent show needs its, you know, lead guy. | |
| That's me! | |
| Yeah, Al's the Simon Cowell of our panel. | |
| Yeah, you're a ray of sunshine, except for when we're talking about Arizona, because that's impossible, and then Mike is our neutral party, and then I am the Simon Cowell. | |
| And I'm just the one who talks about you being a little pitchy. | |
| I'm just the guy that, I've got like one little hang up. | |
| And that's all I go for every now and then. | |
| So am I Paula Abdul? | |
| Yes, absolutely. | |
| Hell yeah. | |
| I mean, that tracks for, yeah. | |
| Okay. | |
| Prairie Billy asks, if you could cast Nicolas Cage as a Q-related character, who would it be? | |
| Ooh, this is another great question because it involves Nicolas Cage. | |
| That's cheating. | |
| It's like a life hack. | |
| If you want something, if you want to make like a hypothetical question spicy, just like include Nicolas Cage. | |
| I would like him as the voice of the Q-drops if like he didn't appear as a character. | |
| It's just if the Q-drops had to be read by a faceless figure, I think Nicolas Cage could be good. | |
| But if you want to use like campy Nicolas Cage, maybe like a B-movie type Michael Flynn. | |
| That's my answer. | |
| See, I'm trying to think of, like, none of them really have the aggressive meltdown energy that Nick Cage does. | |
| So I think that in lieu of that, I would have to try to cast him in a role where he had, like, a very high likelihood to meltdown in a setting that seems interesting. | |
| And in that spirit, I'm going to cast him as the Q Shaman. | |
| God damn it! | |
| I was going Q Shaman too! | |
| Sorry about that. | |
| It's just like, I like, because I could just picture Nick Cage like, like, like at January 6 like surrounded by a bunch of people and like where regular Q Shaman would just be like puffing his chest out or whatever. | |
| I can see Nick Cage really fucking going just berserk. | |
| It's just really, really going nuts. | |
| Can he be every character at January 6? | |
| Can we do that scene? | |
| I just want to see like all the kind of major, I want to see him as the guy that was like Like dressed up as Moroni and I want to see like him as the fall, like people like falling. | |
| I want to see him busting in a window. | |
| I want to see him laid out as the cop. | |
| I think it would be funny to see like an all like. | |
| Like being John Malkovich, but instead it's just Nicolas Cage as January 6th. | |
| Yeah. | |
| The Cage-urrection. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Secondary choice Kyle Rittenhouse. | |
| Cause I think it would be really funny to watch Nicolas Cage play at 19 or whatever. | |
| Yeah, actually that was kind of my take on the Q Shaman as Nicolas Cage was kind of slightly different because I wanted him to be like the aged up Nicolas Cage as the Q Shaman where like the storming of the Capitol happened like 20 years ago. | |
| He's lost his fastball. | |
| He's like barely making money doing whatever grift he's doing. | |
| Still eating Chipotle every day. | |
| Right, oh yeah, he's eating Chipotle every day. | |
| But it's catching up with him, so he's kind of got a gut. | |
| So you want, like, Mandy-era, modern, grizzled Nick Cage, versus me, who obviously wants Vampire's Kiss, original, vintage, bananas Nick Cage. | |
| Right, exactly, yeah. | |
| I think it's called Luke Cage, Nick Cage. | |
| He's not Power Man, although, if we're fancasting... | |
| Nick Cage in blackface? | |
| Who's gonna get canceled? | |
| Everyone. | |
| And so that brings us to our final question as always. | |
| What are you guys looking forward to? | |
| Looking forward to mentioning this anecdote related to that weird thing I just said. | |
| Did you hear that Billy Dee Williams, like, gave some sort of interview where he said that people should be allowed to do blackface? | |
| Billy Dee Williams, no! | |
| No, Billy Dee Williams, no! | |
| Don't do that. | |
| Don't just say that, please. | |
| I think he was talking about Bill Maher of all fucking people. | |
| How horrible. | |
| I know! | |
| Can you imagine? | |
| A nice casual conversation with Bill Maher where you're talking about how people should be able to do blackface if they want to? | |
| Come on! | |
| You're just actors. | |
| Who cares? | |
| Blackface it up. | |
| That being said, what am I actually looking forward to? | |
| Fallout, I guess. | |
| I'm going to cheat. | |
| I'm looking forward to Fallout because I'm doing grocery shopping and then I'm watching that. | |
| So it's the closest thing. | |
| Sounds good. | |
| Hayley, what do you got? | |
| Let me think because I got nothing. | |
| You know, the next Rapture. | |
| The next Rapture day. | |
| I'm looking forward to the next Rapture day. | |
| It's coming. | |
| Yeah, it's coming. | |
| People will suss out something in the Bible and think that this is a moment when the thing is going to happen. | |
| I'm looking forward to whatever the next rapture is. | |
| That's what I'm looking forward to. | |
| You'll know it's coming when somebody throws another pipe bomb at the Satanic temple. | |
| Did you guys hear about that? | |
| It's crazy. | |
| No, I didn't. | |
| Was that in Salem? | |
| Yeah. | |
| Oh god. | |
| It was a weird situation too, because I guess it happened, but the device either failed to detonate, or was poorly made, or only partially detonated, or whatever. | |
| I guess it got thrown onto their property at 4am. | |
| I was reading about it in the AP yesterday. | |
| I guess it got thrown onto their property at 4am, and then one of the people working there found it at 4pm. | |
| And, like, found, like, it and whatever, like, minor amount of damage it caused. | |
| It was just, like, a fucking pipe bomb, and, like, called it in. | |
| And then they, like, you know, the FBI and shit came in to take a look at it, and it was a big to-do. | |
| But, yeah, it was just, like, man, dude, eclipse madness. | |
| Like, really fucking wild shit. | |
| I mean, they literally waited until the morning of the eclipse to do it. | |
| And it's just, like, leave those people alone. | |
| They don't hurt nobody. | |
| If you don't know, the Satanic Temple is a tiny black house in Salem. | |
| It is an incredibly unimpressive structure. | |
| You might be thinking, oh my God, it's like this giant thing that's a tribute to Beelzebub. | |
| It's like, no, it's just literally a house. | |
| It could be like a two-family home or whatever, and it's also an art gallery. | |
| It's not a place of worship. | |
| Leave them alone. | |
| Yeah, just leave them alone. | |
| They've got a gift shop and an art gallery there. | |
| You pay a little bit of money to go look at their art pieces. | |
| And then they've got one room dedicated to the weird-looking guy who founded the Church of Satan. | |
| Lucian Greaves, that guy. | |
| I mean, whatever. | |
| He's so hard to take seriously, I never committed his name to memory. | |
| Anyway, Mike, what are you looking forward to? | |
| Oh, I'm looking forward to just wondering what's going to happen when, I don't think it'll be me, but someone, some supervisor or something is going to I have to grab one of our employees and pull him aside and give him a little chit-chat because this employee in the break room, I heard him listening to Alex Jones and that's fine because, hey, you're on break. | |
| You do you, buddy. | |
| That's fine. | |
| But yesterday I was watching some people playing some roulette and everyone went broke except one guy and the one guy who didn't go broke Who was betting really hard on the 17. | |
| And when this dealer, Mr. Alex Jones listener, spun the roulette ball, he said on two consecutive spins in a row, come on, cue! | |
| Hoping that the ball would land on the 17 for the guy. | |
| And I'm just like, I'm the only person in the building who understands what this guy is saying. | |
| Oh no! | |
| And this is, this is fucking terrible. | |
| But if you're the only person who knows what he's saying, doesn't that mean it's harmless, man? | |
| Hey bro! | |
| So what if some random person comes over to the table and they can understand this guy's coded messaging? | |
| Why would that be an issue at a casino? | |
| And also, just generally and morally, given the context. | |
| So is this not a problem at your work? | |
| No, I told management about this situation, and they were like, yeah. | |
| The way management described it was, quote unquote, getting politics involved in the games is not great. | |
| And I was just like, yeah, politics. | |
| That's a way to look at it. | |
| Let's call Keaton on politics. | |
| We'll work with that, yes. | |
| So they were like, yeah, we will talk to him about that call on roulette. | |
| So it was like, great, thank you. | |
| Much appreciated. | |
| I mean, it's a slippery slope, because there's only three colors on that wheel, you know? | |
| Anyway. | |
| Are you looking forward to anything else besides work drama? | |
| Uh, well, I'm looking forward to the NFL Draft just fucking happening, because I'm so sick of listening to these people talking about it. | |
| Because the Patriots are getting the third quarterback, so they're basically getting, like, not even sloppy seconds, they're getting, like, I don't know what we would call tertiary thirds. | |
| And it's like a question of like, who is Chicago and Washington going to take in front of them? | |
| And then when they take their guys, who will be left? | |
| And are the Patriots going to take that guy or do something else? | |
| And it's just like, Oh God, I've been hearing about this for six weeks. | |
| The draft is like two weeks away. | |
| Can it just end and the Patriots can just have a quarterback or not have a quarterback and it can be over? | |
| That would be lovely. | |
| So it's just like, Oh God, like, like at this point, the anticipation has now given way to sort of like drudgery. | |
| And I'm just like, Oh God, just, just, Just let it happen. | |
| Let me know what happens. | |
| That's all I want. | |
| That's all I ask. | |
| Just mercifully waiting for death. | |
| Yes, exactly. | |
| And by that I mean NFL draft. | |
| Well, that's fine. | |
| I mean, hey, sometimes the anticipation makes the meal taste better, and sometimes it just makes you hungry. | |
| So I get it. | |
| Hopefully we'll get to see your favorite team, the Patriots, draft some good defensive players and continue to do nothing and be nothing. | |
| That would be the most awesome thing in the world. | |
| The commissioner of the NFL strides up to the podium, and with the third pick, the Patriots take a defensive guy! | |
| The crowd's like, BOOOOOOOM! | |
| Like, oh man, it's a dream. | |
| Oh, to dream of such madness. | |
| It'd be great. | |
| Yeah, unless that guy was born half-human, half-chainsaw. | |
| He's probably not good enough on defense that they should be drafting him. | |
| No, no. | |
| This is a quarterback league, and if you don't have Patrick Roems, you really need to find someone in the ballpark of him or else you're fucked. | |
| So yeah, it's not great. | |
| Alright, good stuff. | |
| Alright, on that note, it is time for us to fuck off our Hellworld for the week. | |
| This time we're just going to stroll triumphantly out of Hellworld because we crushed it. | |
| We're going to light a match and then throw it behind us in Desperado style. | |
| There's going to be a big dramatic explosion we walk away from. | |
| It's going to be quite nice. | |
| Thank you so much for listening and supporting this show. | |
| If you'd like to support the show harder, you can do so for free by giving us a 5-star review wherever you get your podcasts from. | |
| If you have money and you want to donate it to the cause, you can become a beautifuller baby by joining us at patreon.com slash pokepolitics. | |
| If you donate $5 or more per month, you get access to all of our bonus content, past, present, and future, including stuff from back when we were still recording with Sarge, all the way up to the most recent content where Mike and Haley were breaking down the JFK assassination and podcasts thereof. | |
| So yeah, if you're interested in that patreon.com slash poker politics, uh, welcome back to the crib beautiful or | |
| baby sunshine Thank you so much for joining us again. It's good to see | |
| you. Thank you and all of our other lovely beautiful babies If you want to do some good with your money instead of | |
| donating it to three jerks on the internet You can do so in a variety of good ways | |
| Uh, the one we've always suggested is love love love 146.org an organization whose vision is the end of child | |
| trafficking and exploitation Thanks as always for the use of our original intro remixed | |
| by mike raines goes to dj minimal effort Our buddy Frosty, who can be found on BlueSky at FrostyVO. | |
| Shout out to him for all of the voice work we need done on the show, including our bumps, etc. | |
| The voice of Q, back when we needed it. | |
| Good guy. | |
| Once again, BlueSky at FrostyVO. | |
| You can find the show itself that you're listening to at Hellworld with a Q and 7-0 on Twitter. | |
| You can find me on Blue Sky at Mysterious L. I'm not on there very often, but technically, yes, I do have a social media presence. | |
| Much more prevalent on social media are my two co-hosts, Haley, who you can find on various social media platforms at Arizona Right Watch or AZRW, and Mike Rains, of course, on social media platforms at Poker Politics. | |
| So for another successful episode of the Adventures in Hell World podcast, I have been one of your hosts, the Mysterious L, joined as always by Haley, AKA Arizona Right Watch, and our expert in all things QAnon crazy, Mr. Mike Rains, AKA Poker Politics. |