This week we deal with a bridge that was destroyed by Wokeness and also a lot of Trump news, that dude is doing everything. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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| 🎵 Outro Music 🎵 Content Warning. | |
| The Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in depth about QAnon, which means we have to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people. | |
| Listener discretion advised. | |
| Hello, everybody. | |
| I am Mike Rains, a.k.a. | |
| Poker and Politics, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld. | |
| This week I am joined, as always, by Haley, a.k.a. | |
| Arizona Right Watch. | |
| Um, hello everybody! | |
| Happy, um, okay, so, Feast of the Annunciation? | |
| Uh, that was a couple days ago, but because it's the same week of Easter, it's actually next week, so Elle isn't missing anything. | |
| Yeah. | |
| He will not be listening to this podcast, so your attempts to goad him via Catholic nonsense will be duly ignored. | |
| And we are also joined by Stephanie, who I will give a cool nickname to at some later point in the future. | |
| Hi, everyone. | |
| I'm really happy to be here with both of you. | |
| Wow, that was so formal and nice of you. | |
| You could tell us to fuck off if you wanted, and that would be an appropriate intro. | |
| Well, fuck off both of you very much. | |
| We're so happy you're here. | |
| I'm so happy you're here. | |
| Elle's not going to hear this, but I'm very excited that you're here. | |
| So am I. And you know what? | |
| I'm not, I'm nowhere near as good at vamping and comedy as he is. | |
| So just, you'll have to put on some kind of filter to pretend I'm amusing. | |
| Okay. | |
| That's okay. | |
| Mike's very funny. | |
| I will try to hammer it up. | |
| I will be more L-like. | |
| I will have less knowledge of what the source material is, but be extra zippy. | |
| Yeah, it's just three nerds this episode that are way too in the weeds of everything. | |
| Way too online. | |
| I am pretty clueless. | |
| I have to run the show also this week, because Elle is usually the time marker hitter, the person who actually brings up the new topics, all that kind of stuff. | |
| So I'm just wilin'. | |
| I'm just going to be wilin' this week. | |
| It's going to be great. | |
| I had the funniest thing happen this week, where we had a active shooter training thing at my work. | |
| And I love America. | |
| Yeah, exactly. | |
| But the the one moment that will that's like seared into my brain was the guy is going through like all this stuff. | |
| And to their credit, like the it was very they did state very clearly run like literally like they were just like, if something if someone walks in here with a weapon, get out, escape. | |
| Like, you are not a hero. | |
| Do not be a hero. | |
| Which was exactly what I wanted to hear. | |
| I did not want to hear anything about... Company property is really valuable, so if you see a guy running in here, here's how you defeat him! | |
| No! | |
| No! | |
| That will not be happening, good sir. | |
| I will not do that. | |
| But, um... The one moment in the training was the instructor was speaking, and they stated that AR does not stand for Assault Rifle. | |
| It stands for Armor Light Rifle. | |
| And they were like, the media gets that wrong. | |
| It just goes to show you. | |
| And I was just like, why are we doing gun trivia night in the middle of our active shooter training? | |
| What? | |
| What benefit does this do for anyone that you are effectively saying in the middle of this, like, hey, if you see someone with a gun, run away. | |
| If you see someone with a bomb, like, uh, like report that suspect item. | |
| Like if there's a fire, uh, here's how we handle it. | |
| Like in the middle of all of that, why did you randomly just have to pivot to, by the way, I'm voting for Trump. | |
| And then just like cut back to whatever, whatever else it was you were talking about. | |
| It's just like, I didn't need to know that you knew the secret code of what AR stands for in AR-15, because that's not going to be relevant to me when that guy comes storming into the casino and starts opening fire. | |
| I'm going to be like, that's an armor light rifle! | |
| I want to make it clear to everyone else who is being shot at, it is not an assault rifle! | |
| Just play my little armor light, the Irish folk song. | |
| You know? | |
| Yeah. | |
| Oh, God. | |
| So yeah, that was just a magical little moment where this guy just had to get on his hobby horse about... And another thing that sticks in my craw, and it's like, great. | |
| It doesn't matter, bro. | |
| It doesn't matter. | |
| Just tell us to run for our lives. | |
| I just want to know, were there crisis actors at this drill? | |
| No, it was an incredibly dry thing where the guy just went over, like, if there's a fire, here's what you do. | |
| If there is a suspicious package or a bomb threat gets phoned in, here's what we do. | |
| And here's what you do if there's an active shooter, and the answer for the active shooter is run. | |
| There were other things that were in there that were kind of like, if you have to hide, that's terrible, but here are tips on hiding. | |
| Note, do not hide. | |
| And then he was also like, if you have to fight, note, do not fight. | |
| But if you have to, basically they said, punch them in the balls, gouge their eyes out, claw out their ass. | |
| This is not a fair fight. | |
| Do not, do not put up your dukes and expect Queensberry rules of this gentleman who is firing into the crowd. | |
| He's like, if you have no retreat options, go for their eyes. | |
| Go for their eyes immediately and hope for the best. | |
| Can I just start packing at work? | |
| And then if I think an active shooter situation is going to happen, I can just pull out my little Armalite and start indiscriminately blasting into the crowd and hope I get him? | |
| Is that allowed? | |
| No. | |
| Okay. | |
| I'm just checking because I didn't take this course. | |
| I'm going to, just on my basis of knowing American law, state that no, because you're a woman, women aren't allowed to have bodies. | |
| That's true. | |
| And also I, I, yeah, I just don't think, the Second Amendment is for cishet white men exclusively. | |
| That's, that's how this works. | |
| Like, I just, So that was that was a magical adventure. | |
| And if you live in a right wing brain rot world, actually, the Second Amendment is for only undocumented immigrants now, and they're trying to take the guns away from everybody else. | |
| Have you guys seen this? | |
| Yeah. | |
| Oh, bonus headline. | |
| It's just, there was so much that happened this week. | |
| I'm like, what are we going to talk about on Hellworld? | |
| Are we going to talk about squatters? | |
| Are we going to talk about Candace Owens? | |
| Are we going to talk about any of this? | |
| And it's like, we're, we're talking about some of it, but like, you know, we got to like do little hits here and there because there's so much happened this week. | |
| Yep. | |
| Screw it. | |
| Bullshit time over. | |
| immediate boosh now. It's time for a light sampling of insanity. Get ready for the amuse boosh. | |
| Yeah we only have three hours to record this week so we're gonna make the best of it because | |
| What's so wild, and I mean this honestly, is like for the past month, I've just been sort of like, yeah, we're gonna do a little extra vamping at the start, and then we're gonna have to really stretch on some of these things. | |
| This week, it was just like, NEWS! | |
| NEWS! | |
| SIDE ORDER NEWS! | |
| NEWS! | |
| NEWS! | |
| I was just like, holy shit! | |
| News! | |
| Keep it in your pants! | |
| It's only been seven days since our last pod! | |
| How can there be this much news? | |
| This has been an absolutely crazy, like, series of days where just everything is going on, like, all the times. | |
| So, uh, back to Hayley. | |
| Continue. | |
| What was I saying? | |
| Squatters? | |
| Oh, the undocumented immigrants are now the people? | |
| Yeah, that's the new, like, right-wing, like, kind of conspiracy is that us, like, lefties and democrat types are trying to, of course, de-arm the population, but also simultaneously arm undocumented immigrants because they're the invading army that's gonna come in and then seize Your home and claim squatters' rights. | |
| And when they do this, fellow American, you're still going to have to pay the bills on that house. | |
| You're going to have to pay all the utilities or you're going to get in trouble. | |
| And that's the new reality. | |
| When you start hearing that from your uncle, that's what's happening. | |
| I just love that we're in conspiracy Mad Libs. | |
| Was any of that anything to somebody who's not incredibly online? | |
| Yes, that's the thing is that I may be talking out of school here, and if I am, and again, no one listens to this podcast, so thank God for that. | |
| But listeners, you don't listen to this either. | |
| Your ears are shut. | |
| No, but I got invited to watch a documentary and give a critique of it about a woman who was radicalized and went to January 6th and then got arrested, convicted, and all that good stuff. | |
| And the documentary, the problem I had with it And I did bring this up to the filmmakers when they were asking for constructive criticism, was just that this woman was so pilled from the jump that it was just like she would be inconceivable to a regular person watching this movie. | |
| A regular person would just not understand this person. | |
| They'd be like, is this lady doing a bit? | |
| What is she on about? | |
| The secret act of 1871 in America's corporation. | |
| I don't know if she went all that way, but she was a full QAnon, adrenochrome, just all of it. | |
| And I was just kind of like, if you don't have a table-setting way to explain how this person got the way they are, it's going to be so hard for a viewer to watch this. | |
| And that's the thing about our show pre-screens for people that want to hear about these brain worms. | |
| So in that sense, our audience is nodding along right now, being like, yeah, I heard about that Second Amendment thing. | |
| Which, if you haven't, basically a judge ruled that Constitutional rights apply to people inside of America, even if they are not citizens. | |
| And she said this in regards to the Second Amendment, which was just sort of like... The judge was basically like, we're letting everybody have guns, so we can't restrict that right from these undocumented people that are here, because undocumented people have a First Amendment right to free speech. | |
| We don't deny them constitutional protections just because of their citizen status. | |
| And right wingers grabbed this and were just like, they're building an army of undocumented AR-15 armor light rifle carrying murderers who are going to be traipsing around America crushing the rights of us beautiful cishet white Christian men. | |
| On Knowledge Fight, Dan was offering commentary about this, and he's like, this should be a win for them. | |
| This ruling should be a win, and they can't take a win. | |
| Instead, Alex Jones is like, oh, they're arming them. | |
| And they always use the term military age immigrants. | |
| They always use that, but this should be a win for them. | |
| But they're just as bad at winning as they are at losing. | |
| They, well, I mean, that's the big thing, is that they hate winning. | |
| Like, so much of right-wing... I'm not kidding about this, because when Epstein died, I'll never forget. | |
| Epstein dies, and literally everyone's losing their shit. | |
| And people are like, hey, maybe QAnon's on to something. | |
| Maybe something's going on here. | |
| And QAnon is like, now, now, everybody. | |
| Let's not jump to conclusions that Epstein's actually dead. | |
| Let's put a pin in this. | |
| Let's wait a few days and see if Epstein's actually been whisked off to a WITSEC location or something. | |
| And that's what's actually going on with him. | |
| And it took a long time for them to begrudgingly accept that Epstein was dead. | |
| And then they immediately, of course, were like Hillary Mission Impossible'd into his prison cell and carotid him and all that good stuff. | |
| That's that's how the Clintons operate. | |
| They kill without mercy. | |
| They are the greatest murderers on the face of the earth. | |
| Yeah, and also it's just them being like, this group does not deserve rights and we should have a two tiered society where some people are afforded basic civil rights and freedoms and others are not in this country, which that's bad. | |
| Yeah, there was a quote, which I forget who said the quote, but I see it repeated often, which is that modern conservatism is of the belief that the law should protect one group and not bind that group, and then it should bind the other group and not protect them. | |
| And that is The in group should have all the protections of the law and the out group should have all the restrictions of the law. | |
| And that is the way our society should be ordered. | |
| So, I mean, that's the thing. | |
| What we were talking about there is that if you ever wanted to see conservatives and all these fascists online call for gun control, Let's just see a lot of black people running around with AR-15s, just walking around doing that kind of stuff. | |
| And that's the thing is that when that happens, guess what happens? | |
| Cops kill those people. | |
| Because that's how this works. | |
| That's what happened to John Crawford when he was just walking around at Walmart with an air rifle just futzing around and then some guy like snitches on him to the cops and they shoot him on sight. | |
| Tamir Rice is playing with a toy gun and cops run up on him and murder him. | |
| Casteel. | |
| I cannot remember. | |
| I can't remember his name. | |
| I think it was Phillip. | |
| He literally tells the cops, by the way, I got a gun in my glove compartment. | |
| So they murder him immediately. | |
| And you ever see the NRA get all bent out of shape over any of that shit? | |
| You see the NRA marching with Black Lives Matter demanding justice for these crimes? | |
| No. | |
| Because if you're not white, you really don't have a right to a gun in this country. | |
| They want it to make it that way. | |
| So it's Well, what are the Second Amendment rules on hundred-year-old Templar swords? | |
| I want to make sure my rights are fully protected with my hundred-year-old Templar sword. | |
| Mike, are swords covered under the Second Amendment? | |
| I don't really think they are at this point. | |
| The Second Amendment is basically a gun amendment, because... God, this is so deep into the weeds. | |
| Listener, I can feel you nuzzling your pillow tightly. | |
| I can feel you going into the arms of Morpheus as I'm speaking. | |
| Let my dulcet tones carry you away. | |
| Let me grit you a pleasant night's slumber. | |
| But there were two things that were happening when the Founding Fathers actually created the Second Amendment. | |
| The first was that there was a big argument between a standing army and militias, and the militia side won that argument, unfortunately. | |
| And then they found out they were really fucking wrong after the War of 1812, and we had to do standing armies after that. | |
| So, way to go, militia side, for being right in the moment but wrong in reality. | |
| And the other thing that happened was the reason why the Second Amendment was written so crumbly, where it was just this vague mumble-bumble about well-regulated militias and yin and yang. | |
| The South wanted to make sure that slave-catching parties had a right to run around with guns while they were chasing after slaves. | |
| And being able to deputize slave-catching parties was a very important part of how the Second Amendment was crafted. | |
| So that literally any bunch of jamoks with guns passed Second Amendment muster because We needed that because I don't have time to actually gather up a solid group of people to catch my escaped slaves. | |
| I need to go catch those escaped slaves now, so I'm going to make all my staff grab their muskets and run off into the swamps to chase after my slaves that are trying to escape my tyranny. | |
| So... | |
| And anyone who wants to take that clip out of context, there's your opportunity. | |
| Yes. | |
| Haley, aggressive neo-Nazi, Mike Raine, proud slave owner. | |
| We're terrible people. | |
| Absolutely terrible. | |
| Just the absolute worst scum. | |
| So anyways, on to our actual first topic that we have. | |
| What's going on with Trump? | |
| Oh, so boy, howdy, the Trump dump. | |
| Pack a lunch, listeners, because this is going to go a while! | |
| So, part one, glorious Trump victory the first. | |
| Trump had his appeal bond lowered to a meager, a piddling $147 million that he now has, that he had 10 days to fulfill before, when the edict came down from the New York Appeals Court, and everyone threw a giant fit because they wanted him on the hook for the full $456 million. | |
| I actually saw George Conway, resident Trump hater, saying this wasn't that big of a deal because if he actually even posts this, then that means they've got him for that much money and he's going to lose anyways. | |
| So now the court will at least have $147 million in their hot little hands after he's defeated in the appeal. | |
| So that happened. | |
| And then on top of that, the other big Trump victory, because I want to kind of do this in a sort of, um, the, uh, what was I gonna say? | |
| So we're gonna do Trump victories first and we'll get the Trump defeats afterwards. | |
| And, uh, Trump victory number two is that his dumb meme stock, uh, is, His company is allegedly going to go public any day now and this will allow him to at some point sell shares in Donald Trump's bullshit stock company and potentially make him three billion dollars and make him incredibly rich, which he doesn't need to be because he's already incredibly rich. | |
| Just ask any of his pissy fans. | |
| They'll tell you how rich he is. | |
| He's so goddamn rich. | |
| And I'm and the thing about this stock is the entire evaluation is just that maybe he'll become president again and people will want to curry favor with the president, but by just give the president money. | |
| Legal illegally, which is going to be great because the only product this Company has is truth social and truth social is losing money hand over fist There is actually no money in the stock. | |
| The cupboard is bare. | |
| This is an entirely fraudulent product that is being put on the into the public and All right. | |
| Anything else going on with Trump? | |
| Oh, there's so much. | |
| I didn't know that you were totally not up on the stock situation. | |
| No, I'm literally just listening. | |
| I don't follow Trump as religiously as you. | |
| I follow Nazis, you know? | |
| Trump is a Nazi! | |
| I know, I know. | |
| He's like the top fascist, but I like to pay attention to the ones that are like, I'm gonna put a swastika on my chest. | |
| You know? | |
| Okay, fine. | |
| Okay, let me give you an example. | |
| I'm currently following a court case pretty thoroughly. | |
| It involves a neo-Nazi skinhead who is part of the Aryan Brotherhood, and he has a mural on his chest that says 1488, which is the reference to the 14 words, which is a neo-Nazi slogan. | |
| 88, which is short for Subtle. | |
| HH which is Hail Hitler. He's got blood and honor across his right here like up | |
| a little bit higher on his chest which is the Hitler Youth slogan. He's got, did | |
| I mention the swastika right in the dead center? And then the SS and lightning | |
| bolts and then he's literally got the word Nazi tattooed on his arm. | |
| Subtle. Subtle! So yeah. | |
| How do you know he's a Nazi, though? | |
| Dude, I'm not even kidding. | |
| The media has said that, literally. | |
| Actually, only a few outlets here have referred to the person in this case as a neo-Nazi, and it's like, I think you could say it. | |
| I think you could say it. | |
| I think it's cool to say it. | |
| That is, like, for me, on a much smaller level, and I'm not, because what you're dealing with is infuriating and would drive me up a wall. | |
| But for me, that's what you just referenced is what it feels like every time I see some news outlet saying, Donald Trump rally concludes with somber or sad or weird. | |
| I'm like, no, it's QAnon music. | |
| Call it QAnon music. | |
| That's what it is. | |
| It's a fucking dog whistle to QAnon. | |
| That's what that music is. | |
| Don't call it sad or somber or strange. | |
| No. | |
| He's fucking dog whistling the QAnon. | |
| Like, Jesus Christ, people. | |
| Like, the dude's been doing this, like, literally. | |
| You all had your dumb little press conference where you asked Donald Trump, are you cool with QAnon? | |
| And he was like, well, they seem to like me. | |
| And you all teeheed and laughed and pretended like this was no big deal. | |
| Guess what? | |
| QAnon's crawling with Neo-Nazis. | |
| Literally crawling with them. | |
| There is more QAnon people that are Holocaust deniers, promoters at least, than not. | |
| There was a QAnon promoter that was like, hey, me and these other three guys are going to hang out and have a great time! | |
| And I knew one of the other three guys was a massive anti-Semite, so I made a post about that, and then I remembered, oh right, no, the guy making that post is also a Hitler is Right guy. | |
| So half the panel is just literally pro-Hitler. | |
| So yeah. | |
| But anyways, back to Donald Trump. | |
| Totally not a Nazi. | |
| For legal purposes, Donald Trump. | |
| Not a Nazi. | |
| The thing about this stock is, again, it has no actual value. | |
| The company in question is not going to do anything. | |
| People are only buying it because they love Trump and they want to give Trump money. | |
| And so this is the easiest short in the history of the market. | |
| The moment this thing goes public, just put all your money into a short position on it because the stock cannot sustain itself. | |
| The only way the stock exists is if Trump wins the presidency and then says, no, I will not divest from my stock. | |
| And then Saudi Arabia was like, President Trump, we very much enjoy you. | |
| I'm speaking in a Russian accent, even though I'm Saudi. | |
| And here is millions of rubles, again, from Saudi Arabia, for reasons I will not explain. | |
| And, like, just letting foreign governments buy off our president, and the Republican Party's gonna be totally okay with it, because they don't care anymore. | |
| They've given up. | |
| They're just, they're just literally the Trump rubber-stamp Nazi Party at this point, so. | |
| Yeah. | |
| So, and there's also lawsuits going on where the other people who made Truth Social said that Trump's trying to fuck them out of their stocks. | |
| And Trump can't do this for another six months. | |
| So maybe in September, right before the election is when Trump will get rich, then maybe he'll fund his own campaign. | |
| Maybe. | |
| Cause right now, Boy Howdy are the fundraising numbers for Team Good. | |
| Better than the fundraising numbers for Team Bad. | |
| It's weird. | |
| So weird that the multi-billionaire who's richer than God doesn't have a ton of money to throw into his campaign. | |
| So strange. | |
| It's almost like everything about the man's bullshit. | |
| Candace Owens time? | |
| No! | |
| Trump never ends! | |
| Trump never ends! | |
| No, so those were Trump's victories. | |
| Trump's humiliating shame. | |
| We'll start with part one and then we'll end with part two. | |
| Only two more Trump topics left, everybody. | |
| Pour yourself a cup of coffee. | |
| You're almost through the Trump section. | |
| You've almost done it, our beautiful babies. | |
| You've almost made it. | |
| But this is the fun Trump section, because the first part was Donald Trump, again, total legitimate billionaire, richer than God, doesn't need to suck dick at the truck station to make rent money. | |
| That guy, Donald Trump, is hawking the Trump Bible. | |
| Oh, that's so cool. | |
| I saw that. | |
| Yeah, that he co-sponsored with Lee Greenwood. | |
| And the Trump Bible, the Lee Greenwood Trump Bible, also contains the Constitution and the Bill of Rights. | |
| And I cannot recommend you watching his three minute video shilling the Trump Bible more. | |
| Does it include photos of Hunter's dick inside? | |
| Oh, if only it did! | |
| Gold-lined. | |
| Oh, if only the sacred phallus of Hunter and his massive hog were in the Bible. | |
| Is this going to replace the King James Version? | |
| Trump did state that it was the King James Version. | |
| It's the King James Version plus the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, the Declaration of Independence, and the Pledge of Allegiance. | |
| Is this going to be in every megachurch? | |
| Oh, yeah. | |
| Oh, God. | |
| It's the saddest thing. | |
| But you watch the video. | |
| You watch the three minute video where he's hawking this thing. | |
| And oh, my God. | |
| The man's limited vocabulary, his inability to stay on topic. | |
| This is a three minute video and there are four cuts to camera two where they edited shit. | |
| Because you could just tell that they were like, Donnie, Donnie, read the fucking teleprompter! | |
| Just read, read the fucking teleprompter! | |
| Do it! | |
| God damn it! | |
| And oh man, he is just... | |
| He is just so fucking lost. | |
| Every time the man opens his mouth, he's just the glass eyed, no idea, just going with it. | |
| Just hoping what he says makes a little sense. | |
| And he's just like, every house should have a Bible. | |
| My house has many Bibles. | |
| It's my favorite book. | |
| He's giving it away for free, right? | |
| Because that's what my church always did when I was growing up, because they wanted everybody to praise the Lord. | |
| It's free, right, Mike? | |
| I did not see the price on the Trump Bible. | |
| It's $60. | |
| Oh, sneak! | |
| Yes! | |
| Hey, you know, when Doug Stanhope is on tour, he'll heist Bibles from the hotel rooms, and then he'll autograph them, and he'll sell them for like $10 at his show. | |
| So, hey, I'd rather have a Doug Stanhope Bible than a Trump Bible, man. | |
| Yeah. | |
| But I, this is the, uh, the Trump, the Biden campaign has made a point of the | |
| fact that Biden has been out in America, uh, shaking hands and kissing babies and | |
| like doing the work of a campaign for president while Trump has been sitting | |
| home golfing and like. | |
| It's true. | |
| Since the Bloodbath statement, I haven't seen Trump out and about very much. | |
| It's like they're trying to calibrate his meds so that when he speaks he doesn't just go off on the rails again and say another bad thing. | |
| This three minute video, it's just like, oh my God, it is just, oh yeah, sundown and dawn. | |
| Oh, the Biden campaign even called him tired dawn. | |
| They tired him. | |
| They basically sleepy dawned him. | |
| I mean, they, they went the whole place. | |
| They went all the way there. | |
| I mean, it is just wild how, Everything they've said about Biden, that he's cognitively impaired, that he's too old for the job, that he's falling apart, it's all just projection. | |
| Their boy is the one that's gonna have a real tough time making it across the finish line in November. | |
| I mean, this guy is... he is cooked. | |
| If I had thought to do it, I would have ripped that Trump Bible speech and just played it as an audio clip. | |
| Because it's just so funny. | |
| The guy is not there. | |
| And that is just it's good. | |
| It's good news for Team Good that our enemy, our great villain, is a man | |
| slowly making his way towards assisted living as we speak. | |
| Thank you. | |
| It's a big ups for Team Would Like to Remain a Democracy. | |
| That our great foe is just like, Great Bibles! | |
| The best Bibles! | |
| I met Jesus. | |
| He was weeping when he said, Sir, Sir, as great a Messiah as I am, you might even be a better one. | |
| Me and Jesus have always been good friends. | |
| Bigly cross he was crucified on. | |
| Truly the bigliest. | |
| Sorry, he didn't have the Bible signed by Jim Caviezel? | |
| Oh, if only he did. | |
| If Jim Caviezel went up to him in full Jesus garb, Trump probably would have thought he was Jesus. | |
| He 100% would have bought into it. | |
| Oh my god. | |
| And then our final topic of Trump fun. | |
| He is going to court for criminal proceedings starting April 15th and this time it's for really reals and it's going to totally happen and all that good stuff. | |
| Because there was a document processing delay in the Geordie Daniels election fraud and hush money payment case. | |
| And the judge had a hearing and the judge was like, why the fuck are we here? | |
| Why are you pricks doing this to me? | |
| And the Trump lawyers were like, we have a case. | |
| And the judge was like, what is your case? | |
| And then the Trump lawyers were like, we can't tell you. | |
| And then the judge was like, this is stupid as shit. | |
| Jury selection begins on April 15th. | |
| At which point the Trump lawyers stated, we would like to request a delay in the trial due to pre-trial publicity. | |
| Meaning our client who runs out of this courtroom and holds a press conference after every hearing, what he is doing is requiring us to delay the trial. | |
| We need the trial delayed because of our own actions. | |
| And the judge then told them, quote, you can file your motion, the prosecution has a week to respond to your motion, and I will see you April 15th. | |
| So it doesn't sound like the judge is much inclined to grant them their delay on when the trial will start. | |
| So Haley can start saving up money. | |
| She can fly to New York and be our citizen journalist at the Trump trial. | |
| It'll be great. | |
| And so sometime late May or maybe early June, we will be able to start throwing around the term convicted felon Donald Trump. | |
| I think that'll be a lot of fun. | |
| I for one can hardly wait. | |
| It'll be a magical moment in American political history when we have a convicted felon running for the presidency as the head of one of the two major party tickets. | |
| So that'll be great. | |
| So we did it. | |
| We made it through all the Trump stuff. | |
| Yay! | |
| Oh, man. | |
| I can see Haley's eyes stopping. | |
| They've unglazed. | |
| They've come alive. | |
| Maybe we can talk about neo-Nazis. | |
| Maybe we can talk about other terrible people. | |
| Yeah, we are going to talk about Candace Owens. | |
| Candace Owens isn't a neo-Nazi. | |
| What are you talking about? | |
| Candace Owens is, we're speaking about Hitler lovers. | |
| We were just talking about people who love Hitler. | |
| What? | |
| No true Scotsman! | |
| Yeah. | |
| On this show, it's called No Q Scotsman. | |
| Damn, I missed that. | |
| Oh man, my Bob's Burgers brain is just falling out. | |
| Yeah, so give us the scoop on Candace. | |
| Have you been following this? | |
| I have followed it a bit, yes, but I've been talking way too much, and we need to have somebody else talking on the podcast. | |
| I am now doing the Rob Reiner Read This Toots. | |
| I'm now handing you the... Thank you. | |
| Also, for people who are not so incredibly online and so incredibly online on the right-wing sphere, this might be a little... | |
| In the weeds, but for those of you who don't know, there's currently a major fracture happening on the right, and it's kind of stemming from Candace Owens just getting fired from the Daily Wire, for those of you who don't know. | |
| Everybody clap. | |
| Yay, Candace Owens fired! | |
| It was a long time coming. | |
| Heck! | |
| That's awesome! | |
| Wow, the whole crowd went wild. | |
| That's our production team, everybody. | |
| I'm not mad at the crew. | |
| That's why we have such good, crisp editing on this podcast, is because we have a really big team of editors. | |
| Just going to get a little breaky now. | |
| So anyway, Candace Owens, fired. | |
| Since October 7th- Now, who is the boss of the Daily Wire? | |
| That's an important note in here for people who don't know. | |
| Yeah, the person who owns Daily Wire is Ben Shapiro, who is Jewish, for those of you who don't know. | |
| And since October 7th, and the subsequent war and everything, Obviously Candace Owens is not pro-Palestine. | |
| She's not talking- she's not criticizing Israel from a left point of view. | |
| She's doing it from the Jewish question point of view because Candace Owens is a pretty hardcore anti-Semite. | |
| She's kind of praised Hitler pretty clearly in the past which got her in trouble with Turning Point USA. | |
| She, honestly, might be the person who kind of got in Kanye's ear, right? | |
| And kind of pilled him on the Jewish question and just rabid antisemitism. | |
| And yeah, so since October 7th, she's been using the war, the Israel-Palestine conflict, the war, the genocide of Palestinians, To criticize Israel a little bit but it's more it's it's mainly like let me go after Jews now let me use this as an opportunity to weaponize the conversation to attack Jewish people and she's been doing some straight up like you know. | |
| Jewish cabal rhetoric, Jewish pedophile rhetoric, drinking the blood of Christian rhetoric when it comes to Jews, Jewish people, and she was... | |
| Uh, saying like, Christ is King to Ben Shapiro, which a lot of people may not know this, but that's a pretty explicit Groyper slogan, catchphrase, a Nick Fuentes slogan. | |
| Um, so she was fired and then there became this huge debate Kind of on the right, about, is what she's doing anti-semitism? | |
| And also, is Christ is King a Groyper catchphrase? | |
| And like, it kind of highlighted just in general, like, how, uh, you know, far the Overton window has moved. | |
| In the right, a lot of people were coming to the defense of Candace. | |
| Turning Point USA, who once tried to distance themselves because of their Hitler comments, you know, made a post as soon as she got fired basically in support of her. | |
| It's just, there's a little fracture going on because of literally, they're basically doing the Jewish question on the right and it's They're also kind of like normalizing Nick Fuentes. | |
| He's back on Twitter under a new alt and he's been doing some spaces with some more so-called mainstream conservative commentators and they're kind of trying to get him to debate Ben Shapiro and kind of just become a more normalized Figure in the right because a lot of people were kind of including like Lauren Chen and some of those more like so-called normies were like saying that Fuentes is like correct in some of his opinions and should be brought to the table in terms of political conversation. | |
| So this is where we're currently at for those of you who aren't incredibly online. | |
| That's what's been going on with Candace Owens. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Go ahead, Stephanie. | |
| Well, I was just gonna... I knew an interesting little factoid about Candace that I just wanted to share. | |
| In 2020, there was a racist threat lawsuit. | |
| Candace was 18 at the time. | |
| Guess who Candace's lawyer was? | |
| Norm Pattis. | |
| Of course it was. | |
| Explain for the audience. | |
| Norm Pettis is the Alex Jones guy. | |
| Yeah. | |
| And he he's been on Alex's show a bunch of times and he has a really shitty ponytail like all of Alex's lawyers. | |
| And he's a really shitty attorney. | |
| And I think he's been sanctioned for the Connecticut defamation trial for Sandy Hook. | |
| I'm not sure. | |
| Fact check me, please. | |
| But I think he was under some kind of sanction. | |
| So, I mean, Shitty people attract shitty attorneys. | |
| Yeah. | |
| And the previous thing Haley did bring up is that at one point Candace Owens was just sort of like, Hitler was fine until he started invading other countries. | |
| So basically, if Hitler had only Holocausted all the Jews in Germany, it would have been all cool in Candace's and the world's eyes. | |
| She is terrible. | |
| And what Haley's also mentioned is that this is a thing that has led to a lot of further discussions in right-wing grifter world. | |
| Chris Ruffo and the guy that runs the Babylon Bee had a bunch of angry comments because We're going to get into the bridge. | |
| Don't worry. | |
| Don't worry, fans. | |
| The bridge is coming. | |
| But there was a post about how the mayor of Baltimore was doing a press conference and some right-wing racist called him a DEI mayor. | |
| Which a lot of people were just like saying, you know, dude, just use the N word. | |
| If you're going to say this about a black mayor who was elected in a free and fair election, and you're going to just call him a DEI mayor, then what is, what is your insult? | |
| What are you going for? | |
| In a town that's majority black. | |
| Right. | |
| Like he's representing his community. | |
| Yeah, fuck. | |
| Right. | |
| So I saw Jonah Goldberg, Chris Rufo, the Babylon Bee guy. | |
| There were a bunch of people who were like, no, no, good sir. | |
| No, no, this is too far. | |
| This is far too far. | |
| And All the people are looking at them like, bro, what did you think you were doing when you started talking about DEI and woke and critical race theory and all the rest of this shit? | |
| What did you think you were saying with all that? | |
| Because we heard you loud and clear. | |
| We got the message. | |
| The fact that we're now saying what you're saying a little more loudly than you would like, that's your problem. | |
| That's a you problem, bro. | |
| Not an us problem. | |
| You set us on this path. | |
| I mean, this is... | |
| This is the whole Frankenstein's monster thing. | |
| It's just like, oh no, my racist Nazi mob! | |
| How could this have happened? | |
| Smash cut to this person with the racist Nazi mob on the slab, throwing them into the sky to be struck by lightning and animated. | |
| And it's just like, you did this. | |
| This is on you, dum-dums. | |
| I mean, Chris Rufo is literally just, his Twitter feed is just like, I'm a super villain! | |
| And now he's like, wait a minute! | |
| No! | |
| Why?! | |
| And it's like, because you're a fucking piece of shit. | |
| Who's promoting racism? | |
| That's why this happened. | |
| If you want to blame anybody, look in the mirror, buddy. | |
| Look in the mirror. | |
| You did this. | |
| So, calm the fuck down. | |
| Yeah, Rufo was similarly, like, commenting on the, you know, kind of, griper, like, takeover of the party. | |
| This not, like, explicit neo-Nazi, like, takeover. | |
| And he was like, you know, saying that the Gripers basically take it too far and they're, you know, the anti-semitism is too far. | |
| And it's like the and also like the behavior that they do is like, you know, too far. | |
| And it's like, this is what you guys have allowed. | |
| In your fucking, you know, party, and also, like, who you hang out with, and the exact same shit you do to other people, you know? | |
| It's all fair game if it's a trans person, but it's like, the Groypers have been, like, attacking the right, so it's like, yeah, now they're speaking out about The Groypers a bit and like Jeremy Boring was talking about Christ is King as a phrase and saying like it can be used in an anti-semitic way because he was talking about how the Groypers use it and it's like now they're trying to draw this line you know as if they haven't been like absolutely using this rhetoric and letting these people in these spaces this whole time. | |
| I just got an email from Gab that because I have a fake Gab account. | |
| And the email I've gotten multiple emails like this that start off with Christ is King. | |
| And I didn't know that connection. | |
| And now, you know, Torbs, it kind of makes sense. | |
| Thank you. | |
| Yeah, he's a big Groyper guy. | |
| He's he's friendly with the Groypers. | |
| He platforms them. | |
| Um, yeah, he's Yeah. | |
| Mm hmm. | |
| It's a Yeah. | |
| Anyways, Kate, did you hear Princess Kate's a hologram? | |
| Yes, Kate Middleton, the princess, is a hologram or something. | |
| Or she's vaccinated. | |
| Yeah, super cancer. | |
| Turbo cancer. | |
| Turbo super cancer. | |
| Hyper AIDS. | |
| Mega heart disease. | |
| Adjective. | |
| Verb. | |
| Word. | |
| Drooling now. | |
| Okay. | |
| Mad cow cancer. | |
| Oh, oh man. | |
| Prions. | |
| God, if only it was prions. | |
| I did not mean that. | |
| I am not wishing the death on Kate Middleton. | |
| I was just talking about prions because when I play play gink, I love prions. | |
| They do so much work for me. | |
| So Kate Middleton finally addressed her absence from the public sphere | |
| and stated that she is has been diagnosed with cancer and that she is receiving | |
| treatment. And that's why she's been where she's been away for a while. | |
| Bye. | |
| And she hopes everything's going to go great and she'll be okay. | |
| And she just needs some privacy in this troubling time. | |
| And of course, QAnon decided that this meant that she was vaccinated, and that's why she got the cancer in the first place. | |
| And then they decided to start looking at the video, and they've decided that it is an AI deepfake, or a hologram, or she's been edited. | |
| And it's not really her. | |
| Basically, Kate Middleton is not really Kate Middleton. | |
| It's all an elaborate ruse by the Deep State to hide the fact that she's already secretly dead. | |
| Well, they honestly, look, I'm not taking the side of any conspiracy theorists here, but they, you know, the royal family has themselves to blame for this. | |
| If you put out a Photoshop photo knowing that there are people out there who like to do | |
| earlobe analysis and circle shit and red ink and all that stuff, and those people actually | |
| find something, and their findings get correlated by actual real experts, they only have themselves | |
| to blame for this whole thing. | |
| This was one of the very few instances where all the little earlobe analysis people and | |
| the photo anomaly people were right. | |
| And they're just going to keep riding off of that. | |
| So anything else they put out it, you know, like, Why the hell did they do that photoshop? | |
| What the fuck were they thinking? | |
| Do they not have any clue how the world is? | |
| I don't think they did. | |
| I truly don't. | |
| It's one of these things where you don't understand how fanatical your audience is. | |
| And I think the Royal Family is out of touch. | |
| That they thought they could just throw this little photoshopped thing out there and it's all gonna work out. | |
| And everyone's going to be quiet, and they didn't understand how social media and the world actually works nowadays. | |
| I mean, this is the kind of stuff that, like, Taylor Swift and other people with aggressive fan bases, they lean into this shit. | |
| They let you know about stuff with a wink and a nod, whereas, like, the royals are trying to, like, keep a guard on things, trying to keep it secret, which is not the way you handle these situations. | |
| I don't care about the British. | |
| Hey, come on. | |
| I'm just kidding. | |
| I'm just kidding. | |
| I'm kidding British people. | |
| Those pasties meant nothing to you. | |
| I'm kidding. | |
| I don't care about the Royals. I don't care about... I don't know why I'm... I don't care about the Royals. I don't care | |
| about the Royals. I agree. | |
| I think she's a hologram. | |
| That's my take. | |
| I think she's fake. | |
| Well, so is the moon. | |
| I agree. | |
| I'm clipping this. | |
| If I'm going to be a slave owner, you two are going to be conspiracy kooks. | |
| Okay. | |
| Yeah, I think that Princess Kate is a hologram and this whole controversy was designed to distract from Prince Andrew and EPSTEIN! | |
| Wow. | |
| Wow. | |
| I got conspiracy bingo. | |
| Our audience is gonna wake up from that. | |
| Wow. | |
| I'm actually gonna have to run this through the normalizer. | |
| That was, that was a powerful moment. | |
| It doesn't, it doesn't just stop. | |
| It doesn't just cut when it gets too loud. | |
| I hope so. | |
| I think one time I accidentally sneezed on air and I didn't pick up because it was just too powerful. | |
| But we'll see. | |
| Listeners, let us know. | |
| Well, I felt that in my toes when you yelled, so I want our audience to have the same experience. | |
| So anyways, we've gotten through all the silly stuff. | |
| Time for the serious stuff. | |
| No, there's nothing serious this week. | |
| It's all ridiculous. | |
| From the digital headlines to the digital front lines, it's Q's in the News. | |
| Are we skipping Arizona? | |
| Ah, nah. | |
| It's up to you. | |
| Arizona can be yours if you want it. | |
| Um, um. | |
| I'll just go real quick. | |
| We'll save the Carrie Lake stuff for next week, but I will do this one thing just because it's funny and quick. | |
| So the SRP, that's the Salt River Project, it provides Water and energy. | |
| It's a utility, you know, to parts of the, like, Maricopa County. | |
| Anyways, they're having their election for board, the board election, and there's a man that's running named Stephen Williams. | |
| And he has a company called Hitler Management. | |
| Hitler Management LLC. | |
| If you put that in a bit in a comedy, I would be like, too ham-fisted. | |
| Come on. | |
| You're laying it on too hard. | |
| Dial it back a little, bro. | |
| Dial it back a little. | |
| Yeah, literally. | |
| He's already on the board. | |
| literally. So he, this has been like, I guess he's been actually on the, he's already on the board, | |
| he's looking for a re-election right now. He was questioned by the media about this, | |
| like bro what's up with the Hitler management? | |
| And he was like, oh, my family did that as a joke. | |
| I don't actually agree with it. | |
| But he has kept it in good standing with the Arizona Corporate Commission for over 20 years. | |
| So it doesn't seem like It doesn't seem like a little joke, but now that more media is knocking, he expedited the termination of Hitler Management LLC. | |
| We'll save the Carrie Lake stuff for next week, but I had to get Hitler Management LLC out of my mouth because that's just too funny. | |
| Don't vote for him, everybody! | |
| Oh God, just that, what you just said at the end there, which makes me laugh so much, that so many people are just sort of like, look, I get that Trump's a neo-Nazi, I get that it's terrible, but, you know, I don't have any options here, he has to win. | |
| And I'm just like, no, you do have an option! | |
| You can make him lose! | |
| And they're just like, no, you don't understand. | |
| I, my hands are tied. | |
| I have, there's no, it's like, no, your hands aren't tied. | |
| You, you, you and I both can walk into a ballot booth, uh, this November or early or the early voting or the mail-in voting, and we can fill in the oval next to Joe Biden's name. | |
| And then Trump doesn't win. | |
| And they're like, no, you can't, you see, I can't do that. | |
| And I'm like, why not? | |
| What, what supernatural force denies you the ability to do that? | |
| And they're just like, Bro, just shut up. | |
| And I'm like, okay, fine. | |
| You do you. | |
| I mean, you understand the bad guy's the bad guy, but you don't want to stop it. | |
| So I don't know. | |
| I don't know what that says about you. | |
| Doesn't say anything good in my eyes, but that was the breaks. | |
| So anyhow. | |
| We'll let you know if Hitler management wins his reelection. | |
| I mean, how, how, like, I mean, even, and there's a great dollop episode about this, Hitler still has living relatives today, and they all made a promise, like a vow that they have never broken, to never have children so that the family line dies with them. | |
| And like, hey! | |
| That's pretty cool. | |
| Why would you? | |
| I mean, his own family members, his own distant relatives are like, like the students, a piece of shit. | |
| And and some dipshit in Phoenix is like, I'm going to name my LLC after him. | |
| Yeah, well, I mean, they apparently had to talk ye out of naming his album after him. | |
| So, I mean, yeah. | |
| Didn't he just want to name it Hitler? | |
| Yes. | |
| God, come on, man. | |
| You see it with the white Trump supporters. | |
| They're actively voting and fighting against their own best interests, but it's even more stark when you see a black man like Kanye actively supporting a dead man who would have gladly seen him murdered. | |
| Like, what are you doing, bro? | |
| You're just hoping to be the last one to die when the fascists take over? | |
| They're very piled on the anti-Semitism thing right now. | |
| Just really. | |
| And, you know, my little commentary about that is the shit that the IDF is doing is not helping. | |
| This is not Because then the anti-Semites are coming in, they're saying, see, we told you they were bad! | |
| No one has clean hands in the Israel-Palestine situation. | |
| That's obvious, and everything about it sucks. | |
| It's just me, and I'll get off my soapbox and we'll go back to light, fluffy stuff like PGD being a sex offender. | |
| I mean, that's the jocular, frivolous stuff that our listeners care about. | |
| They don't want to hear me whining about vote-shaming leftists. | |
| Like this is the thing to me is it's just like you've got Jared Kushner saying, man, Gaza is going to be a beautiful beachfront property once we get rid of all those other people. | |
| And you literally have the Trump campaign advocating genocide for resort properties as part of their 2024 platform. | |
| And people were like, no way I could vote for Biden. | |
| It's like, so you're going to vote for the guys that want genocide for luxury hotels. | |
| That's your play. | |
| Yeah, bro, because you did this! | |
| And I'm like, Jared Kushner did it! | |
| It's not me! | |
| They're saying it! | |
| Why?! | |
| And it's just, oh god. | |
| The ADL just totally honored Jared Kushner. | |
| Yeah, I know! | |
| Fuck the ADL! | |
| I was like, what's going on with that? | |
| What the hell? | |
| I mean, you know, it's not like they've always had the best track record, but I was like, come on, that one's a little ridiculous. | |
| Yeah. | |
| I mean, I think everybody sent that to me. | |
| Everybody was like, you gotta see this. | |
| I did not know that. | |
| Oh God. | |
| Man, this is just inescapable. | |
| The vortex of this is just pulling me back in. | |
| What you said earlier about the Ben Shapiro vs. Nick Fuentes, the idea of a debate. | |
| I just wonder, in that moment, if Ben Shapiro ever has a passing thought in the back of his head. | |
| Maybe I shouldn't have made my whole career based upon the fact that I am pandering to people who, would they obtain power, kill me. | |
| Just that thought. | |
| They're like, oh, we're now normalizing a Holocaust denier who thinks that me and my kind should be purged from the earth. | |
| Yeah, they're calling him woke now. | |
| The far right is Ben Shapiro's woke for firing Candace Owens. | |
| Yeah, Ben Shapiro who did Lady Ballers. | |
| Maybe that should be some of our bonus content. | |
| Maybe we should watch and review Lady Ballers. | |
| We have to watch the Bryson Gray movie. | |
| Okay, done. | |
| We're doing the Bryson Gray movie first. | |
| I saw a little bit of it and I was like, oh, I should watch this with Mike. | |
| But yeah, that has always blown my mind. | |
| Just the idea that you're like, I'm going to make money from people who, God forbid they ever obtain power in this country, will then throw me in the back of a cell to forget and be forgotten. | |
| And that's the lucky outcome for me. | |
| The unlucky outcome is that I'm tortured unmercifully until I'm killed. | |
| I just don't understand it. | |
| Anyway! | |
| What's going on with Diddy? | |
| Anyways, P. Diddy's a sex trafficker! | |
| Yay! | |
| Yay! | |
| So, Diddy was raided by the FBI in both of his appalachial estates, apparently. | |
| The feds came knocking on both of them. | |
| And Diddy himself appears to be in the wind. | |
| I've heard conflicting reports. | |
| About where he's located after these raids. | |
| And the right-wing QAnon sphere is having a field day about all of this. | |
| One of their favorite bugaboos, one of their favorite things in this world to get upset about is a woman by the name of Rachel Chandler. | |
| Because Q namedropped her for no discernible reason. | |
| Actually, the reason was because there's a photo of Rachel Chandler and Bill Clinton. | |
| On a small plane. | |
| That is not Jeffrey Epstein's plane. | |
| It was a different billionaire's private plane. | |
| But there was a photo of this young lady with Bill Clinton. | |
| And they decided to make it all about how she is one of Epstein's top lieutenants who traffics children for him. | |
| And there was a photo of Diddy with Rachel Chandler. | |
| So boom! | |
| We did it! | |
| Two and two. | |
| Pizzagate confirmed. | |
| Proven. | |
| QAnon validated. | |
| And so... | |
| There's a lot of talk about how after Diddy is arrested and convicted for his crimes, they're going to get Jay-Z. | |
| And through Jay-Z, they're going to get Obama. | |
| And we're finally going to do it! | |
| We're finally going to throw the black president in jail, because that's what this all comes down to. | |
| They hate the black president so much, and they need to see him punished for his great crime of presidenting while black. | |
| Which, to this day, really just absolutely chuffs them. | |
| They can't stand it. | |
| They get so angry about it. | |
| If they're gonna get Obama for anything, it should be for that shitty turd of a movie that he produced. | |
| Oh no! | |
| Oh, that movie wasn't bad. | |
| Let me tell you, QAnon loves that film. | |
| They've been baking the shit out of that film. | |
| That film was part of The Bridge! | |
| The Bridge! | |
| The Bridge! | |
| What movie? | |
| Uh, like The End of Tomorrow or whatever it's called. | |
| I don't remember the name. | |
| Leave the World Behind. | |
| Leave the World Behind. | |
| Yeah, Leave the World Behind. | |
| It's kind of like a, uh, America Under Attack, like, story. | |
| And there was, uh, so much baking done when it first came out. | |
| And now when anything bad happens in America, people bake that movie more to find the clues that Obama was secretly, predictably programming America to accept what happened in the attack through the movie. | |
| And so, yeah, Stephanie's hatred of that movie is far greater than that of QAnon. | |
| QAnon's hatred of that movie because they love that movie. | |
| That movie fills their hearts with so much joy because they get to talk about all that bullshit and they're baking. | |
| But yeah, so at this point, I don't, there haven't been any actual charges against Diddy, but the fact that he's, he's in, he's now in trouble, all the vultures are coming out for him. | |
| I think my favorite The thing I saw was Andrew Tate just posted a thing where he's like, yeah, Diddy got away with all that stuff because he was sex trafficking under the auspices of the Illuminati. | |
| But when I wouldn't do what they wanted, they came after me. | |
| And it was like, are you saying you were sex trafficking? | |
| But the only problem was, is you didn't get an Illuminati license to sex traffic? | |
| Is that what you're telling us, Andrew Tate? | |
| That, like, you were like, man, I want to do some sex trafficking. | |
| Illuminati was, yes, Mr. Tate. | |
| Now fill out this paperwork. | |
| He's like, screw you, man. | |
| You're not the boss of me. | |
| And then they arrested him because he was sex trafficking. | |
| Illegitimate non-Illuminati sanctions sex trafficking. | |
| That was Andrew Tate's crime. | |
| So also, Andrew Tate is a nobody who skims teenagers out of money. | |
| And Diddy actually was famous before he became a monster and probably a sex trafficker. | |
| So. | |
| That was also probably why the Illuminati chose one person over the other. | |
| QAnon must be having a field day with the Diddy stuff and then also all the Dan Schneider | |
| and Brian Peck stuff with the Nickelodeon Quiet on the Set. | |
| Quiet on the Set is absolutely out of control in QAnon world. | |
| They, this is what they live for. | |
| They live for allegations like this against anyone that like, and they don't even know who these people are. | |
| And the thing is, is the quiet on the set stuff. | |
| It's been kind of an open secret in like Hollywood for a long time. | |
| Now finally, when someone's just like sat down and like, yeah, that really happened. | |
| Yeah. | |
| And one of them was a John Doe because he was only 15 when the assaults happened against him and his abuser Brian Peck was he was a speech coach for Nickelodeon was actually like sent like charged and sentenced and served time for like awful things he did to this child star. | |
| And one of the episodes is like him revealing that he's the it's it's it's Drake Bell revealing that he's the John Doe from that case. | |
| And he kind of, like, yeah, also out some, like, actors that, like, wrote letters of support in that case for Brian Peck and stuff. | |
| So, yeah, I'm sure QAnon's, like, going through that one. | |
| Actually, the way that I first saw it, like, in full was, like, a rip of it, and it was literally, like, PepeLivesMatter stamped in the corner, so they've been reposting all of them. | |
| Oh yeah, they're very much into this because it's everything they've ever wanted. | |
| It's evil people in Hollywood abusing children. | |
| It validates everything they believe. | |
| QAnon is all about confirming your priors, and boy howdy does this confirm some priors. | |
| This is everything they've ever wanted, and then some. | |
| So yeah, they could not be more ecstatic about what's happened here. | |
| And they'll pretend to be like, oh, these poor kids, we gotta care about them. | |
| But no, it's about hating their enemies. | |
| It's about, oh, we got them. | |
| We got these evil people for their crimes. | |
| And it's like, yeah, great. | |
| And we've said it time and time and time again, and I'm going to say it again, we can't We can't have a serious reality-based conversation about the reality of human trafficking. | |
| We can't have a serious conversation about CSA. | |
| We can't have that serious conversation because QAnon sees this everywhere and all of the rumors about it just distract and detract from real cases. | |
| So all QAnon is doing is further They're victimizing the victims, and they're just hand-waving the shit away, and it's just disgusting. | |
| If you really want to help traffic people, if you really want to end this stuff, then you have to live in reality. | |
| That's just my take. | |
| Oh, Tim Tebow actually started an anti-human trafficking organization, and he went before Congress to testify about it, and QAnon immediately called him a turncoat and a Judas and a betrayer. | |
| Tim Tebow's selling out. | |
| He's working for the Clintons now. | |
| He's actually trying to do it. | |
| He's actually using his Christian ethos for good. | |
| And you dum-dums who loved Tim Tebow before this, when he was bad at football, now he's bad. | |
| It's just, ah, you people, we can't win. | |
| Why can't we ever win with you? | |
| God, I hate you so much. | |
| So yeah. | |
| So yeah, Diddy, bad. | |
| And we'll obviously have more happening with Diddy as more evidence about what he's doing comes out. | |
| But moving right along to more unbelievably happy and cheerful things. | |
| There was a terrorism attack in Russia! | |
| Yay! | |
| Oh, great. | |
| So yeah. | |
| False flag. | |
| False flag. | |
| Oh, false flag. | |
| The moment it happened, it was fake. | |
| I mean, this, this, I posted about this today, because I created eight signs of conspiratorial thinking, a thread, and sign number four of that conspiratorial thinking is knee-jerk contrarianism, which means the moment the media tells you about a thing that happened and they give you their reason for why it happened, you must immediately reject that reason. | |
| You don't know what happened, but you know the media is lying. | |
| You know the media is wrong about it. | |
| So the moment the media was like, there's been an attack in Russia and ISIS takes credit for it, You'd be like, nope, couldn't be ISIS. | |
| Couldn't be ISIS. | |
| Had to be something else. | |
| And, like, Putin is, like, flailing and claiming that Ukraine had something to do with it. | |
| And America and Ukraine and everybody else are like, buddy, ISIS is taking credit for it. | |
| And by the way, BT-Dubs, us, America, who fucking hate you, Russia, we told you, yo, yo, Vlad, we're getting some chatter. | |
| Some shit's gonna go down in Russia. | |
| You need to fucking watch yourself. | |
| And you told us to fuck off. | |
| You told us our claims that there's an indication that a terrorist attack will happen inside of Russia was quote-unquote Western propaganda and bullshit. | |
| And you told us to fucking piss up a rope. | |
| And then a terrorist attack happens and you blame us and Ukraine for it. | |
| And again, ISIS is over here going, it was us! | |
| We did it! | |
| We're ISIS! | |
| We attacked you! | |
| You could like watch the videos very clearly just on your For You page on Twitter. | |
| Yes! | |
| The best take I saw on this was Sarah Hightower. | |
| She's like, I find it endlessly hilarious that ISIS has to keep insisting, we did this, we did this, because everyone's so conspiracy, you know, the brain worms. | |
| And ISIS is like, dude, no, we did this, man. | |
| No, seriously, super serial. | |
| We did this, and no one believes them. | |
| Well, I believe them, but the people who matter, which is Vladimir Putin, doesn't want to believe that because to admit that ISIS did this means that Russia is weak and they let this like just dumb bunch of violent assholes sneak into their country and commit a mass murder and As a lot of people have pointed out, the whole dictator and oppressed people contract is, yes I'm a dictator, yes I'm oppressing you, but I'm keeping you safe. | |
| The whole reason why you accept this is that I don't let anyone else hurt you. | |
| Only I can hurt you. | |
| I have a monopoly on violence. | |
| And you're like, well, that sucks, but at least as long as I don't fucking fuck with you, at least I'll be okay. | |
| When this kind of thing happens, and it's not even the people you're invading, it's just these other people that you've had a problem with for a long time. | |
| And this is the important thing to know about ISIS, is that EVERYBODY hates ISIS. | |
| Fucking everybody. | |
| I saw some people talking about, hey, they're like, man, maybe ISIS could, like, fucking, like, help Hamas fight Israel. | |
| It's like, no! | |
| ISIS and Hamas fucking hate each other. | |
| They both see each other as apostates and heretics. | |
| They're like, your version of Islam is fucking wrong, motherfucker, and if you bring that shit into our house, we will fight you. | |
| I mean, like ISIS is for ISIS and ISIS only. | |
| Like, it's one of those hilarious Wikipedia war battles where it's like the battle of so-and-so and it's like one nation on one side and like 40 nations on the other side. | |
| That is like every fight between ISIS and someone else because everybody else is on the side of not ISIS because they are just such evil lunatics that they cannot create allies. | |
| It's like literal impossibility for them. | |
| So yeah. | |
| So what's going on in Baltimore? | |
| Yeah. | |
| Fuck Russia. | |
| You're boring. | |
| Baltimore has a nice aquarium. | |
| Yeah. | |
| So screw you, Putin. | |
| Russia's boring and sucks. | |
| And ISIS really did it. | |
| And that's all we have to say about that. | |
| Moving swiftly along. | |
| There was a bridge. | |
| It was in Baltimore. | |
| And then it was attacked by Mothman. | |
| And Mothman knocked down the bridge. | |
| Is this true? | |
| No, it's not. | |
| Did Mothman also attack Moscow? | |
| Uh, no. | |
| Uh, I did not see the Mothman expert answer any questions about Moscow, but I did see the Mothman expert, uh, did, uh, say that he reviewed the situation and that there was in fact no evidence that Mothman did the attack on, um, there was no evidence that Mothman did the attack in Baltimore. | |
| So that's good. | |
| It was actually Indrid Cold. | |
| And if you are a big Mothman geek, like geek, like I am, you'll get that joke. | |
| So, Boom, thank you to Mothman fans out there. | |
| I hope you're rolling on the ground. | |
| I'm going to stare blankly at the screen and be confused, because that's generally my reaction to any time my two co-hosts be in talking, because they usually know things about a thing that I don't know. | |
| It's like when Amanda and Hayley start talking about Nazis, I'm just like, I just nod, like a dumb dog looking at its reflection in a bottle. | |
| I'm just hoping they'll throw me a treat at some point. | |
| Well, tell me more about Mothman. | |
| How do I, how do you know that he, besides this so-called expert, how am I supposed to know if Mothman really didn't destroy the bridge? | |
| Um, he's not real. | |
| Oh, come on. | |
| I thought we were going to get some fucking hardcore cryptid shit. | |
| They just shot me down. | |
| It was, it was, it was the, uh, real genuine experts think that it was probably an owl or, uh, I forget what kind of crane they said it was, but it has like an eight foot wingspan. | |
| And there were a bunch of it. | |
| These four people saw this weird creature near the TNT blasting site in West Point, Virginia in the late 60s, and they were freaked out. | |
| Who knows? | |
| They were probably out there smoking weed. | |
| Who knows? | |
| And it, you know, they were just like, oh, is this weird thing? | |
| It creeped us out. | |
| And then the news got a hold of it. | |
| And, you know, Point Pleasant, West Virginia was like, we need some tourists. | |
| Let's hype this shit. | |
| And then a few days later, a bridge collapsed. | |
| I mean, Mothman Prophecies. | |
| Read the book. | |
| Watch the movie. | |
| It's great. | |
| It's creepy. | |
| But none of it's real. | |
| There were no men in black, or psychokinesis, and strange phone calls, and spooky poltergeists. | |
| That's not what Richard Gere and Laura Linney told me. | |
| Well, hey, if you can guess that I'm holding ChapStick in my hand, then I'll give you some credit. | |
| What does Art Bell have to say about this? | |
| Nothing, he's dead. | |
| You never had fun! | |
| I will, thank you. | |
| I will search the Coast to Coast, my Coast to Coast app, because I'm a shill and I pay for it. | |
| And I will see if I can find any Mothman episodes, hopefully with Belle, because Nori, George Nori, you're a piece of shit. | |
| Agreed. | |
| So what did destroy the bridge, Mike, if not Mothman? | |
| Cause I didn't see anything. | |
| Uh, wokeness, uh, DEI, uh, literally everything. | |
| Literally everything that possibly could destroy the bridge, destroyed the bridge. | |
| Jack Posobiec tweeted something like, at least your grandchildren will know that you fought racism. | |
| And I was just like, I don't, this is word salad. | |
| I don't know what this means. | |
| You're just saying anything. | |
| We're just dartboarding. | |
| I'm gonna suggest that there was no ship, that it was edited in afterwards as CGI. | |
| I'm gonna be a no shipper. | |
| Okay. | |
| That's cool. | |
| Oh, there was all kinds of ridiculous... Oh, God, my brain just can't process. | |
| Come on, brain, you can do this. | |
| No, there is all kinds of talks about this. | |
| Some people said that the pilot was Ukrainian and they did this because America was denying aid to Ukraine. | |
| And that, yeah, they just had to attack America for that reason. | |
| Beyond that, uh, come on brain. | |
| Geez. | |
| I don't, Oh, I also saw that there was things happening that are making me turn | |
| into this weird, I'm astral projecting right now. | |
| I'm floating above my own body trying to remember the things I saw about this dumb incident that was so obviously an accident. | |
| Oh, people said it was a cyber hacker. | |
| Oh yeah, I saw a lot of that. | |
| Yep, that it was taken over by Anonymous and that it was scratched into us. | |
| But the best thing that I saw about all of this is that all of QAnon is shitting bricks. | |
| They're all freaking out. | |
| They're all just like, ah, this is crazy, awful, terrible, bad. | |
| Oh, this is so evil. | |
| And all of that happened. | |
| But one QAnon promoter, my buddy Clandestine, who has been doxxed, and I would give his real name if I could remember it. | |
| I believe his name is Creech, which is awesome because it's just a dumb real name. | |
| But our boy Creech, Literally made a post where he was like, guys, this this wasn't anything. | |
| Y'all calm down. | |
| Whatever. | |
| Whatever. | |
| You need to just sort of accept that shit happens sometimes. | |
| And that's just the way life goes. | |
| And Boy, howdy, did his audience turn on him. | |
| Oh, were they fucking furious with him for saying that this was just an accident and it was no great shakes and we all need to calm down. | |
| And then he doubled down and he was like, look, I've been fighting this fight for so long and I only bring hard-hitting information with facts I can verify. | |
| And none of you have a right to judge me. | |
| And it's like, buddy, you think that COVID was created in a Ukrainian bio lab? | |
| Calm the fuck down. | |
| You have no credibility whatsoever. | |
| So just relax. | |
| And so he had that like, just, this guy doesn't understand that nothing is ever nothing in this world. | |
| It's just, yeah. | |
| So, yeah. | |
| So it's just, yeah, it was just cool. | |
| It was just like, buddy, I remember when Alex Jones said that Wayfair wasn't a real thing. | |
| And then after he said that, his audience destroyed him. | |
| And then he's like, you know, I've looked back into this way for everything and I think it's real. | |
| Yeah. And it's like that's that's audience capture where the audience is literally like, yo, Alex, dance for us. | |
| And Alex is like, no. | |
| And then they're like, no, you don't understand, Alex. | |
| We're not going to buy your dick pills and your overpriced vitamins if you don't dance for us. | |
| And then Alex is like, fuck, time to shake my little ass. | |
| And it's like, yep, do it, Alex. | |
| Shake your money maker. | |
| Start saying that Wayfair is trafficking kids because you have to. | |
| Yeah, so it was just great. | |
| It was just absolutely great. | |
| But literally everything caused this. | |
| As Hayley said, racism. | |
| We had an unqualified minority pilot handling the boat. | |
| The boat was, the bridge was woke. | |
| Oh, the pilot was vaccinated! | |
| The person piloting the boat was vaccinated. | |
| They had a medical crisis, which made them lose control of the boat and crash it. | |
| The vaccine did it! | |
| The vaccine knocked down the bridge! | |
| These people can never stop doing that stuff. | |
| They can never stop doing it. | |
| Beautiful. | |
| I still think it was Mothman. | |
| I would love, oh God. | |
| The bridge was a hologram. | |
| Wake up, sheeple. | |
| Princess Kate? | |
| Hologram. | |
| Baltimore Bridge shipwreck? | |
| Hologram. | |
| Russia terror attack? | |
| Hologram. | |
| Candace Owens? | |
| Hologram. | |
| Everything's a hologram this week. | |
| Everything's a hologram. | |
| Everything's a hologram. | |
| Mike Rains hologram. | |
| Yes! | |
| You know it. | |
| There was a TV show in the 80s that warned us about this called Jem and the Holograms. | |
| Oh man, I remember Jem. | |
| She was truly outrageous. | |
| I remember being on Team Jem. | |
| I remember not being on Team Barbie when I was a little boy. | |
| I was like, you know what? | |
| I like Jem. | |
| I don't like Barbie as much. | |
| So and apparently, but then it turned out Barbie won that battle. | |
| Barbie took Jim behind the wheel shed. | |
| That's just because it has big Mattel, you know, it's because it's got bigger marketing behind it. | |
| It's not a fair game. | |
| No, no. | |
| You go with the queen, you best not miss. | |
| I mean, Barbie is all that and a bag of chips. | |
| I have DM'd you both a photo of Senator Joe Manchin standing in front of a statue of Mothman. | |
| I saw that photo. | |
| That was so funny. | |
| Joe Manchin, big cryptid follower, big lover of cryptids. | |
| Weird, right-wing Democrat, also cryptid lover. | |
| We all contain multitudes inside of us, but Joe Manchin more so than others, because he's weird enough to be pro-Mothman and also weird enough to hate child tax credits. | |
| So, good retirement, Joe Manchin, you fuckin' weirdo. | |
| May you and Mothman get right off into the sunset together. | |
| And with all that, it's time to get into our meal. | |
| Our listeners got questions, we got answers. | |
| It's time for Q and A. Boom. | |
| So, Collider of Silvestri, the Hellworld Grand Inquisitor, says, now that the news cycle is winding down, will the conspiracy theory crowd start slowing down on coming up with, oh, never mind, a cargo ship has destroyed a bridge. | |
| We'll never hear the end of the crazy theories now. | |
| God damn it, that boat had one job! | |
| Yeah, unfortunately, the world is just going to keep existing and do things that are going to be random and, you know, some things are accidents, some things, you know, are acts of terrorism and all this tragedy that happens constantly in this big old world of ours. | |
| And there's just going to be constantly people being like, nah, that didn't happen the way that it happened. | |
| So unfortunately, we're stuck with it forever. | |
| As long as we keep spinning, as long as the sun does not engulf us in its flames. | |
| Unfortunately, we're stuck with this. | |
| Unless, you know, you know. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Yes, I agree. | |
| The answer to Theodora's non-question tirade is we're screwed. | |
| That's what we get. | |
| MeBad asks, Favorite triangle Illuminati food? | |
| Um, hmm. | |
| Pizza. | |
| It's triangular, it's also pizza, and it's pizza. | |
| Like, it's pizza in the sense that it's like a QAnon thing, but also pizza's delicious. | |
| I like pizza. | |
| Yes, especially when you make it with a bacon crust instead of dough. | |
| No, hard pass on the bacon pizza. | |
| And because pizza has been taken, and I will not parrot my co-hosts, I'm going to go Doritos. | |
| I like a nice, cool ranch Dorito that's a perfect triangle. | |
| And also, when I watch professional paintball on TV, and people hide behind the triangular obstacle, they call it the Dorito instead of the pizza. | |
| I am. | |
| I'm in favor of that. | |
| What about Dorito dusted pizza? | |
| How about that? | |
| That'd be interesting. | |
| Dorito dusted crust? | |
| I don't know what kind of flavor I'd want on that. | |
| I don't know that I want the cheesy nacho on my Dorito crust. | |
| Cool Ranch? | |
| I'd have to go Cool Ranch. | |
| I'd have to go Cool Ranch. | |
| Yeah. | |
| I would go with DEI flavor. | |
| I cancel your woke pizza. | |
| I refuse to accept that. | |
| Pancake Peasant asks, a genie grants you the ability to guarantee the presence of one Adventures in Hellworld guest host of your choice. | |
| Who do you pick and how do you approach the episode? | |
| Hmm. | |
| Hmm, that's a good question. | |
| Who should be on here? | |
| Well, I'll go first, because mine's unbelievably easy. | |
| Everybody out there, you have three guesses as to who I'm going to pick, and the first two, I don't count. | |
| So obviously, my guest host is Shirley Manson. | |
| And obviously, I just skipped the entire format of the show. | |
| And it's entirely about Garbage's discography. | |
| And we just talk about her life. | |
| It's just me interviewing her. | |
| It's just that simple. | |
| That's the one episode of Joe Rogan I've ever watched the full clip of. | |
| That was before he truly went fully pilled and nuts. | |
| He had Shirley on and it was cool. | |
| But yes, so this is no muss, no fuss. | |
| Anyone who's here for conspiracy bullshit, get bent, go piss up a rope, because I'm living the gimmick here 100%. | |
| So now, now that Haley's had time to like vamp for 30 seconds here, back to you! | |
| Throws the conch to Haley. | |
| I don't know. | |
| I don't know who I would want the top person to be on the podcast. | |
| Do I go with a true nut or do I go with a professional that's hard to get? | |
| The fact that you immediately said, like, the top nut, I was like, the top lobster? | |
| Are you going to Jordan Peterson? | |
| He's actually, I think, I don't know if it just passed or it's about to pass, but he's going to be in town for a two day show. | |
| Two days of Jordan Peterson in Phoenix. | |
| They're both sold out. | |
| It's like in a coma. | |
| What? | |
| Yeah, probably. | |
| Um, actually, you know who I want? | |
| I want us to interview Trump. | |
| Because in this scenario, it's like, it's whatever we want. | |
| It's fake. | |
| So in this scenario, he has to do this interview with us. | |
| And it's like, we could ask him whatever. | |
| I think it would be the most interesting interview he's ever done. | |
| I would do it purely about QAnon, because he would have no idea what we were talking about, and it would so alienate QAnon. | |
| They'd be like, that was a deepfake. | |
| There's no way that was really Trump. | |
| Trump knows everything about Q. He's Q+. | |
| He knows everything. | |
| And I would just be like, so, Mr. President Trump. | |
| I'd be incredibly deferential. | |
| So, which QDrop is your favorite? | |
| And he'd be like, I love all the drops. | |
| All the Q drops are my favorites. | |
| They're all the best. | |
| The pedophiles, they're the worst. | |
| Q hates them. | |
| I hate them. | |
| Vote for me, I guess. | |
| I don't know. | |
| I'm bold and senile. | |
| But in particular, just pick one. | |
| Just name a quarter drop. | |
| And maybe if he was very lucky, Dan Scavino would have told him to say booms. | |
| And he'd be like, one of the booms. | |
| A lot of booms. | |
| I love that boom. | |
| Great. | |
| Just wonderful. | |
| Stephanie, who do you want on the podcast more than anyone on this planet? | |
| Adam Driver or Tom Wallachia, because I would just sit there and drool at them all the time. | |
| Okay, so you guys are picking your celebrity. | |
| Cool, cool, cool. | |
| I can't think of a celebrity that I care enough to talk to. | |
| That's fair. | |
| I mean, my life is hopelessly shallow and devoid of... No, no, no. | |
| It's just I literally just can't think of one. | |
| You know, it's like, who's one that I care to talk to? | |
| Yeah. | |
| So I got nothing on that one. | |
| OK. | |
| AJ asks, How dumb are the cues going to be about this bridge tragedy? | |
| How quickly is the Donald Trump stock going to tank and ruin even more mega pocketbooks? | |
| From a subscriber to the cast. | |
| Thank you, beautiful baby AJ. | |
| With an owl. | |
| They have like an owl emoji. | |
| They have like a Moloch emoji next to their name. | |
| Which reminds me, I saw somebody walking through my casino. | |
| They had a they had a this blows my mind. | |
| I didn't think this was a real thing, but they had this and I just googled it and it's real. | |
| The New York Jets have like an alternate logo that is like Moloch the Owl. | |
| This guy was like wearing they were like wearing a hoodie and the hoodie was just like the New York Jet logo and then it just had like an owl and I was just like what the what the fuck and now I've just googled online and apparently this is a real thing the New York Jets are now I mean the Patriots are terrible I have nothing that's important for them so I guess I need a team now and Aaron Rodgers is a terrible monster so I can ironically love hate his team and But yeah, this is so weird. | |
| It is the weirdest thing. | |
| I have a Moloch hoodie. | |
| It says Bohemian Grove Owl Sanctuary. | |
| I ordered it from QAA and I'm planning on wearing it and going to Taylor Street in San Francisco where the Bohemian Club is next time I get up there and I'm going to show off my Bohemian Grove tattoo with my hoodie. | |
| Just for a photo op, and I might stand there and yell, I have your logo. | |
| Let me in. | |
| Just sneak in. | |
| Yeah, I don't have John Ronson. | |
| Yeah, I have just DM'd you both the Moloch New York Jet. | |
| I googled it. | |
| I saw it. | |
| It's so weird. | |
| I have no idea. | |
| That blew my mind, but yeah. | |
| So, I mean, we've covered your question in the sense that we've talked about the Trump stock, and my God, again, boy howdy, I've never seen a stock I've wanted to short more since Tesla. | |
| And somehow Tesla's stock still isn't at $0. | |
| The cult of Elon is so powerful, his obviously dogshit stock is not worthless. | |
| It blows my mind. | |
| But yeah, Trump stock, oh man. | |
| It has no value. | |
| It literally exists only to be shorted. | |
| You'd have to be the world's biggest moron not to try to destroy that stock and obtain massive stacks of money via that. | |
| Um, so, uh, then, uh, meow asks, are you going to change your logo in the future? | |
| Mike knows why I'm asking. | |
| Uh, so maybe, maybe one of these days we'll let, we, we, we did, I did the AI thing that came up with some way too hard. | |
| Uh, yeah. | |
| Haley's talked about like doing some art maybe. | |
| So, uh, there's, there's possibilities. | |
| We may change the logo at some point in the near future. | |
| But how do people perceive me, you know? | |
| I don't know what I should draw myself as. | |
| Well, we just did furries the first time, and I was Dealer Furry, L was L Furry. | |
| I mean, L's avatar wasn't very L-like, and Sarge was just like Military Furry. | |
| So, I mean, you would, I assume, be seen as somebody who is attacking Nazis? | |
| I don't know. | |
| Maybe, like, we have, like, a, um, the... | |
| Our thing is I'm dealing cards. | |
| L is like a shadowy spectral wraith in the background because he's mysterious. | |
| And like you're throwing a milkshake at like Richard Spencer or Indy Noh or something. | |
| Just like, just BAM! | |
| Because that's what you do to Nazis. | |
| You hit them with milkshakes. | |
| Preferably concrete ones. | |
| Hayley has to be like a Powerpuff type character because whenever I think of her, that's what I always think of. | |
| Buttercup? | |
| Am I Buttercup? | |
| Yes. | |
| Yep. | |
| Oh, I love Mojo Jojo. | |
| Yeah, me too. | |
| I used to have a Mojo Jojo scooter when I was a kid. | |
| I was, I was, he was my, he was my jam. | |
| And I also enjoyed that Satan was like queer coded. | |
| That was like, him was him. | |
| Him was a trip. | |
| Him was a hoot and a holler. | |
| And finally in our mailbag, question for Steph. | |
| What was your first thought when you heard the news about the Baltimore Bridge collapsing? | |
| Can you project yourself back in time to when you were trapped in reality to tell us what would have been your first thought back then? | |
| My first thought was Mothman, honestly, because I'm like, when was the last time there was a major bridge collapse and people lost their shit and started blaming it on things that had nothing to do with anything? | |
| And I'm like, The Silver Bridge, West Virginia, and it was like, I think it was Christmas Eve. | |
| I really thought, and I was only half joking in my head, I was like, if I was still a conspiracy theorist, I wouldn't say that it had anything to do with Mothman, but that would be my first connective tissue. | |
| And I did a search on Twitter and God damn it, Mothman was trending and it hurts my brain when I'm right. | |
| God, yeah. | |
| I don't, yeah, I don't. | |
| I mean, that's the thing is that when you're in that, when you're in that state, when you are in that mindset where | |
| the world is one big plot against us all. | |
| It's just... | |
| It's just nonsense. | |
| It's just, you're looking for an excuse. | |
| That was me with 9-11. | |
| 9-11, I believed the official story for a little while, but I really wanted to hate George Bush. | |
| So then I found a reason to, and then I did. | |
| I was like, yes! | |
| I really hate George Bush. | |
| So he did 9-11. | |
| And that's just the mentality that people have. | |
| And it's just... | |
| It's just where you go. | |
| And I just think that that is, you're just in that mindset. | |
| You're just in that world where you're just seeing things and you're trying to connect the patterns and you got to bake, you got to decode, you got to learn the comms. | |
| Did Trump foreshadow this? | |
| It's the, it's, it's altering your world. | |
| It's an ARG. | |
| Eric, one of our listeners who's done the bumps for the JFK thing, he hates the fact that I use the term the gamification of reality, but that's what this is. | |
| It's just that. | |
| It's just turning reality into a participatory game where you can solve the clues. | |
| You can crack the code and figure out why the Illuminati did the bad thing. | |
| And it's just all of that. | |
| And I just think that that's Where we're at. | |
| That's where we're in the world. | |
| And it's, uh, it's horrifying and bad. | |
| Yeah. | |
| So that brings us to our final question as always. | |
| What are you guys looking forward to? | |
| Well, I I was looking forward to the documentary on HBO and it was good, but | |
| unless you're really really steeped in The world of Alex Jones and Sandy Hook. I don't think you're | |
| gonna get out of the documentary what I got out of it Because | |
| There's a lot of context that is missing from the documentary, but I was very excited about it. | |
| I watched it twice. | |
| I do like it, but I also have to take into context that I've watched the trials. | |
| I've watched the depositions. | |
| I have, because I'm researching an article for Skeptical Inquirer about the crisis actor narrative. | |
| I listened to those Knowledge Byte episodes, like each one, like three or four times. | |
| You might not have the background that I have, so you might not see what I saw, but I was looking forward to it, and I did enjoy it. | |
| Haley, what are you looking forward to? | |
| Uh, I don't know. | |
| Maybe we'll watch that crappy Bryson Gray movie where he like... It's like a rap opera slash Blade ripoff where he's Blade but he's not a vampire. | |
| He's hunting demons because he's like a Christian fascist. | |
| So, I don't know. | |
| I think that could be funny. | |
| He's like a MAGA rapper. | |
| I don't know. | |
| Does Fudichello Blow show up in this thing? | |
| Oh, for Joddy O'Blow, or however you say it. | |
| Yeah, Mr. Blow. | |
| Yeah, Mr. Blow. | |
| He says he's Trump's nephew, which I don't think is real, but... Oh, that's the chud with the face tattoos and the big ugly face. | |
| And yeah. | |
| OK, yeah, he's super cool. | |
| There's also Trump Latinos, which I don't think one is even Latino. | |
| I think he's doing Latino face, but they also have a character in their music videos called Maga Mama, who's like a very busty, big-breasted woman who does like kind of like a video vixen kind of person, but it's Maga Mama. | |
| So the Maga rappers are doing okay, and one of them released a movie, and me and Mike might watch it. | |
| So I'm looking forward to that maybe. | |
| I really enjoyed the fact that you called her both large breasted and like big boobed. | |
| You don't understand how large these tits are. | |
| It's kind of her thing. | |
| It's like it's clearly if you listen to it, if you listen to her song, it's like, OK, this is not this is not good music. | |
| But there is emphasizes of the bosom in the music videos. | |
| And that's that's her role. | |
| Is that the one who is she's in the picture and like the one guy on Twitter who's like, Yeah, I know what you're thinking. | |
| She put a wig on her dog? | |
| I don't know. | |
| I don't know. | |
| I just seen the music video. | |
| Her boobs have their own zip code. | |
| They do. | |
| They're big. | |
| Yeah, she looks nice. | |
| I'm glad we have the Sydney Sweeney of MAGA rapping ladies. | |
| Literally, it literally is! | |
| But it hasn't caused as much of a discourse on the right as Sydney Sweeney's breasts, which is like, so weird. | |
| We'll get into that one week, honestly. | |
| For people who haven't heard that one. | |
| Alright. | |
| That picture turned me gay. | |
| I'm not even kidding. | |
| That picture of her, I was like, I could stare at this all day. | |
| She's beautiful. | |
| So I am, if Elle was here, Elle would have probably beaten me to the punch on this. | |
| But what I'm looking forward to is the fact that this week begins the new season of Taskmaster. | |
| Bam, ba-ba-bam! | |
| Taskmaster is the greatest television show on Earth. | |
| If you have not watched Taskmaster, you are doing yourself a disservice. | |
| YouTube has the official Taskmaster channel on it. | |
| It has every episode uploaded. | |
| It is the funniest thing. | |
| It is basically five British comedians or comedians from somewhere on earth that got grabbed by this show. | |
| They have to do silly tasks. | |
| They compete very hard. | |
| They fail. | |
| They do poorly. | |
| They are excoriated for their failures by Greg Davies who plays the heavy very effectively in the show. | |
| It's great. | |
| It's the absolute best. | |
| I highly recommend it. | |
| 10 out of 10 stars. | |
| And so I have a new series featuring five comedians I've never heard of, and they will all be my favorite people on Earth in about a week, because they know how to cast the show, they know how to edit the show, they just make every- the show is just great. | |
| I haven't watched a season and gone, eh, that season was kind of weak. | |
| I'm just like, nope, every season's great. | |
| They just know what they're doing. | |
| And it's 17 seasons in, which is kind of crazy for any television show to be doing that well. | |
| How many? | |
| How many? | |
| What was that number again? | |
| Yeah, this is the 17th Q season, but it's not going to get canceled, so it's going to make it to that season 18. | |
| And then pound sand, QAnon, your sacred number will be taken away from you and replaced by another number that is different. | |
| It'll be the R season. | |
| And R is actually Q's enemy, if you actually know the deep lore of QAnon. | |
| But anyways, that's either here or there. | |
| We're almost at an hour 45. | |
| This is too much podcast for people to handle. | |
| This is ridiculous. | |
| So we're wrapping it up. | |
| We are... I just wanted to say one last thing. | |
| Plug! | |
| Plug, Stephanie! | |
| Plug! | |
| I don't give a shit if you follow me and if you're still listening. | |
| This is important to me, and it's important to everyone. | |
| America. | |
| Society. | |
| I want you to sign up to be a volunteer for Honor Network, and that's spelled HenryOscarNancyRichardNetwork.org. | |
| It's all one word. | |
| And it's run by Lenny Posner. | |
| He's the father of Noah Posner, the youngest victim of Sandy Hook. | |
| And for going on 12 years now, Lenny has been attacked viciously by what he calls them, the hoaxers, the people who think Sandy Hook didn't happen. | |
| And him and his son and his former wife, they are getting dragged through the mud every day. | |
| Death threats. | |
| Everything. | |
| Just defamation online. | |
| It didn't stop with the defamation trials. | |
| And it's not going to stop. | |
| It's going to continue. | |
| So please donate to the Honor Network. | |
| You can be a volunteer to have bad shit taken offline. | |
| Please donate. | |
| Lenny is a great person and he does good work and we must preserve the memory of people that have been lost to MASH Casualty events. | |
| We have to preserve that and we have to fight disinformation. | |
| So thank you. | |
| Cool. | |
| Claps for Stephanie! | |
| Yes, oh god, not gonna sully that with a clapping soundboard. | |
| That'd be the mockery of what was just said. | |
| So, anyhow, we are going to flee Hellworld now like a casino employee being chased by someone with an armor light rifle, because that is a thing that I talked about about an hour ago. | |
| Full circle! | |
| Thanks to Haley and Stephanie for being here. | |
| Thanks to DJ Minimal Effort for our theme that I remixed. | |
| Thanks to Frosty for doing our voiceover work and our bumps and our cue drops when we needed them. | |
| If you like the show, we give a 5-star review on the platform you listen to it on. | |
| Help us out. | |
| Do anything you can to game algorithms and make us more popular than we currently are, because America needs to hear this crap, because the 2024 election is bad and awful, and Trump must be defeated at all costs. | |
| Beyond all that nonsense, if you want to give us money, then give it to me! | |
| Give me the money! | |
| Go to PokerPolitics at Patreon.com. | |
| Patreon.com slash PokerPolitics. | |
| That's where you actually go. | |
| I was leading you down a primrose path to failure before. | |
| Can you tell I don't do the outro usually? | |
| I don't do the outro usually. | |
| So, anyhow. | |
| $5 or more while you get access to all our bonus content. | |
| And you can hear me talk about all kinds of fun stuff. | |
| We did 2,000 mules, Fall Cabal, all that good stuff. | |
| And beyond all that, if you don't want to give us money, donate your money to love146.org. | |
| It is an anti-human trafficking organization that actually cares about this stuff, and QAnon doesn't. | |
| Go to hell, QAnon. | |
| You suck. | |
| So for Stephanie, for Haley, for me, this has been another successful episode of the Avengers in Hellworld podcast. |