Adventures in HellwQrld Episode #176: The Super Ba'al
This week we dig into Tuck Tuck's interview with Putin and how it was a disaster. In other disaster news the GOP got crushed in another election and Trump's brain continues to melt. We then pivot from all of that to talk about the Super Bowl and how both the game and the ads were attacks on the good Christian people of America. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in depth about QAnon, which means we have to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people.
Listener discretion advised.
Hello, everybody.
I am Mike Rains, a.k.a.
Poker and Politics, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld.
This week, I am joined, as always, by Haley, a.k.a.
Arizona Right Watch.
Hello, listeners.
Happy Valentine's Day.
It's the day of love.
There are, you know, I've been Saints-pilled.
I've been talking about the Saints, and today's a big Saints day.
It's Valentine's Day.
Also, we had no issues starting this podcast.
Yes.
And the mysterious El.
Hello, my beautiful babies.
It's me, the Mysterious Al, and fuck Valentine's Day.
Who cares about that?
I am here for the Ur-sure Renaissance.
The Ur-sure Renaissance!
He's back, baby.
We'll be talking more about Ur-sure later.
Are you more into Arizona Statehood Day?
Because we're actually the Valentine's State Because we became a state on February 14th, 112 years ago.
It was actually supposed to be on the 12th, but lazy ass President Taft was like, I know you guys wanted to sign it on the 12th, but I'm actually going to go to New York for a couple of days and I'll get back to you on that.
And we had this big old parade planned and there was all this shit planned that we were going to become a state on the 12th on Abraham Lincoln's birthday.
And it didn't happen because Taft was like, nah, I don't care.
And so, so we are actually, we are not Lincoln.
We are not the Lincoln state.
We are the Valentine state.
So happy Arizona day, everybody.
OK, I'm going to keep a 100 with you, Hayley.
If the people of Arizona didn't decide to light their state on fire in a bid for attention, like people stranded on a desert island, I would still just regard it as the turquoise lover state.
And that would be the end of my thinking regarding Arizona.
That's OK.
That would be the beginning and end of my thinking of Arizona.
Because up until they made the hard right pivot, I feel like a lot of us East Coast elites who have never been there would just be like, oh, that's the place where grandma goes to sell turquoise on her ranch, right?
Well, also we have a lot of... There are grandmas that sell turquoise on their ranch, but there's two types of grandmas.
So there's white lady grandmas who sell turquoise on their ranch that's probably fake, and then we do actually have a lot of tribal land in Arizona where they sell the natural turquoise, and it's a pretty big market for the indigenous community here.
So that's probably where the The turquoise thing comes from.
We put turquoise in a lot of our art.
Like, we held the Super Bowl a couple years ago, and there was a lot of turquoise within the art around the Super Bowl.
It is kind of very turquoise-y state.
I'm a fan, personally.
I like colors.
I mean, I like turquoise in general, but a lot of the fucking stuff that they put, like, a lot of the jewelry that it has been determined turquoise belongs in is really tacky.
I'm just like, wow, turquoise itself looks really neat.
And then it's just like, hey, look at this nonsensical thing we've put it on.
I feel the same way about amethyst.
My lighter's kind of turquoise.
Yeah, but since it's made of like plastic or whatever, it's hard to get too pumped.
I know.
If it was made of real turquoise, it'd be like, see, functional and beautiful.
Yeah.
I was looking at some of the reviews for our podcast on Apple, and... Zero stars.
Talks about nothing for the first 15 minutes.
If only, if only.
I would have taken that to heart.
The two reviews that I found most useful were one where a guy said, I would have given this podcast another star if they didn't do their bit talking about Elon Musk's weird penis for a minute every episode.
It's like, buddy, we haven't done that for months and months and months now.
I don't even think in the Haley era we really got into that.
I think we did a couple times.
That excites me, because it clearly means they're going through our back catalog, which is great.
How many stars did he give us?
Did he give us a full five, and is he saying he would give us six if he could, or did he give us a solid two?
I think he gave us like two or three.
I forget which one that was.
Fuck yeah!
That's an honest review, you know?
Yeah.
In fair play.
If you stuck it out, imagine how excited the listener, if you're still here with us, imagine how excited you're going to be to know that we haven't done that bit now for a hot minute.
Yes.
And the other review that I listened to was basically that we're too disorganized, which is totally true and 100% acceptable.
That's so true.
But the thing that really hit was that, quote, Haley's talents are wasted.
And I was just like, man.
Who said that?
Someone said that?
Yeah, someone said that.
Yeah, seriously.
This person was just like, man, I don't know why Haley's hanging out with these two chuckle bums, but boy howdy.
So I was just like, man, I totally approve of this.
Listeners, leave a review that shits on me, but says, why is Mike hanging out with Haley?
I'll even it out.
No, no, I don't That was just awesome.
I was just like, when I saw that, I'm like, yeah, that's fair.
That tracks.
I love this.
But like a lot of, like a lot of big brand art and chair quarterbacks, I don't hear any particular ways of how we're supposed to be using Haley.
Any different coming out of your mouth there, anonymous listener?
Make a freaking suggestion.
No, that's, it's actually our job, I guess.
Yeah.
Haley can get in there and mix it up whenever, whenever she wants.
I do.
Sometimes I appear on things.
If only the listener knew how often Hayley was looking at her phone while we record.
I mean, my gosh.
I can multitask!
When Hayley's thoughts are with it, it's like, yeah, well, Hayley is busy on her phone!
Well, you're not.
I can't see you, so I don't know what you're doing.
You're probably playing Switch.
Straight up jerking it.
No, I haven't touched my Switch in a long time.
Actually, my roommate was like, hey, do you have a Switch?
And I was like, yeah.
And he was like, can I borrow it?
And I was like, oh, fuck yeah, dude.
I never used to say here you go.
I think he ended his review by saying we had potential and that if only I could up my game to like the Hayley level, perhaps.
We just need an editor.
Oh yeah, an editor would not hurt.
This is things that people definitely like listening to live on air.
Yeah, I mean, hey dude, it's our talk about whatever the fuck we want segment thing and we can do whatever we want.
If the listener doesn't like it, they can pound Zan.
It's true.
Yeah.
And the other thing they said, which I think was true, is that this is more like a stream than a podcast, because we're very stream-of-conscious.
We're very flowy.
We just sort of go wherever the zeitgeist takes us.
And then we just kind of remember our tentpole things to pull us back to being quote-unquote on track, as it were.
We're just talking.
I fully accept that.
Here's the thing, if we play it straight down the plate without getting on tangents and stuff, it's just such a bummer festival.
Oh yeah!
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
Some people just love a bummer festival though, you know?
Yep, it's true.
Those are the people that are just like, dude, you really need to watch Midsommar.
And I'm just like, I know what that movie is.
And I'm like, can I acknowledge that it's great without watching it?
Like, I give it to you.
It's great.
I loved it.
I loved the part where the thing happened.
It was very thought provoking.
And my thoughts are still provoked.
10 out of 10.
The thoughts still provoked.
It's like when someone tells you to watch a movie that's like, it made me cry so much and it's like, well, what's it about?
And it's just like, it's just about a relationship falling apart and a couple divorcing.
And it's like, I don't want to see that.
I don't want to see that at all.
I don't know why you're recommending that movie.
And I don't know why, I don't know why you think that's, that sounds like an entertaining movie.
That sounds depressing.
I don't feel like crying and thinking of my parents.
So I'm going to go ahead and not watch that.
Yeah, again, I think I've mentioned it on the podcast before, my friends got me to watch Hereditary, and then at the end of it, I was just like, I mean, it was good, but I don't know if I was entertained.
I mean, I acknowledged that it was good, and I did watch it, and it was something.
But, you know.
I don't know if I want to go down that path ever again.
That journey was a one and done.
Yeah, I remember Elle bringing that up and talking about like watching Breaking Bad where it was just sort of like Elle was just saying, I have to get myself into a headspace where I'm just going to be like upset or just like I want this like depression to hit me and then I can watch Breaking Bad because it's just like this show just is about a guy like falling apart and his life being like shit, so.
And it also just takes place in Burbank or whatever, and it's filmed, everything looks like it's filmed, and it's just brown covered in Vaseline.
I mean, the show just looks brown.
I think it was New Mexico.
New Mexico.
Fair enough.
There we go.
A place I even more associate with dry brownness.
So it's just like, okay, it's not visually interesting, and I guess the story is super compelling eventually, but the first three episodes are, I'm not gonna lie, kind of boring.
And that's why I've given it a billion tries and I've never gotten past that third episode.
So, sorry folks.
But again, you have it on credit.
10 out of 10.
Perfect.
Dude.
Walter White.
Oh my god.
His Fall From Grace.
So crazy.
I loved it.
The whole time, I loved it.
When he asked him to say what his name was.
Like a badass.
So cool.
You know?
Running around in his tighty whities.
Icon.
Love it.
There were other characters involved.
I'm sure they were all great.
There was a guy, Gus.
He was so Gus, you know?
Absolutely.
Did you watch Better Call Saul?
I've never seen it, but I hear it's good.
No, I bet it's great too, but probably not as good as Breaking Bad, according to most people.
So 9 out of 10, it's no Breaking Bad.
Okay.
I think my mom was more into Better Call Saul than Breaking Bad.
I've heard a lot of people say they're more into Better Call Saul.
That's why I was asking.
Yeah.
I feel like it's probably just safer to not To not stir up the people who really love Breaking Bad and insist that it's the best show ever.
Okay.
It might be.
I don't know.
But those people are very passionate, so I'm usually just like, hey, yeah, it's so... They're like Swifties, but for TV?
Yeah.
It's like, dude, there's no Breaking Bad, am I right?
And then just like, yeah, I have to fuck it lootly, and then we do bro dabs, and then I go in secret.
And then I go secretly have better, cooler conversations with my The Wire is the best TV show ever friends, and we're just like, dude, The Wire, am I right?
You actually like The Wire?
Dude, The Wire slaps.
Okay, because I do like The Wire.
The Wire is fucking mad good.
Love that show.
Who says we're unfocused?
We always meant to be talking about The Wire.
I agree.
I almost just accidentally left.
I almost accidentally pressed the leave button on this app, so we'll be more careful.
My dream is us to do a 15 minute podcast where we just talk about a small assortment of pop culture shit and then call it a day.
That would be the greatest recording schedule ever.
Imagine how many of those we can put in the cannon one day and then just like never have to worry about it.
Be like, all right, we did our podcast for the month.
The news is going to be all Super Bowl, which is kind of pop culture.
Yeah, but we're going to be well, I mean, I'm hoping that the Super Bowl usually draws out the real crazy shit.
I'm hoping that this year it's especially crazy.
We'll see, though.
But that's that's we got a ways to go before we get there.
First, we have to get through our whole amuse-bouche.
It's time for a light sampling of insanity.
Get ready for the amuse-bouche.
Tucker Carlson's in our bouche, the headline star of our bouche, for his big interview he did this week, in which we all got a nice, sick Russian history lesson, etc.
For more information on that, I'll toss it over to Mike.
Mike, how did Tucker's big interview go down?
Really poorly.
Really unbelievably poorly.
The fact that Tucker opened his interview by saying, okay guys, here's a disclaimer about why my interview with Putin sucked.
And then they play the interview.
It's just like, holy shit.
I never saw that appeal to his audience by him.
I would love for it to have just been brutally honest, where he's just like, here's where my interview with Putin sucked.
They had me by the balls once I was in Russia, and I just had to sort of let him sock puppet me, because if I ever tried to resist, he would just throw me out of a four-story or higher building, and then I would be dead.
So I turned to Carl Sagan, here's Vladimir Putin telling us about Russian history!
Yeah, because the thing is that this episode was very obviously, like, Tucker was supposed to get in there, and Putin was supposed to give him the shit about the Ukrainian bio labs, and how gay people are terrible, and all that kind of just dumb right-wing identity politics bullshit.
Tucker asks him, so why'd you invade Ukraine?
Expecting to get bio labs talk?
And then Putin is just like, through a translator, because the thing that's really funny is that everyone says Putin speaks English very well, but he refuses to do it.
He just does this like alpha Chad bullshit, where he just makes you listen to him say Russian and have a translator speak for him.
And So Tucker asks Putin this question, and the next thing you know, Putin's just like, and the translator is just like, in the 8th century, there was a time when, and it's just like, oh my god, like, what is Putin doing?
And Tucker, the whole time, like, people timed it out.
It was like a 37-minute history lesson about Russia over, I think, a thousand years.
And, like, how the Ukraine is not a real country.
Factually accurate, I'm sure, right?
Oh, 100%.
Ukraine has always been basically Russian property, and Putin has a right to just take it.
Yeah, I mean, but I love how, you know, the quirks of the argument are when it comes to just being like, hundreds of years ago, it was Russian.
So, I mean, it's cool that we just go and stomp in there and, like, take it back.
And it's just like, that was so long ago.
Like, look how old these documents are.
They're old enough that they're here, like, History Museum.
Get the fuck out of here.
Right!
It's just, it's just, like, what does your historical claim to Ukraine have to do with anything?
And if that's your logic, doesn't that mean you're going to try to, like, I don't know, basically conquer all of Eastern Europe up to half of Germany because that's where the Red Army was?
At the end of World War II?
Yeah, and then, like, I mean, where do... Slippery slope, man.
Like, what happens... What happens when the Mongolians show up to the Kremlin?
And they're just like, hey, we've got, like, a claim to, like, your whole country and then some, dude.
Like... Check the tape, my guy.
Yeah, I think it was the former president of Mongolia posted that on social media.
He was like, hey, I found this ancient map of Mongolia.
It was just like, oh, yeah.
That's hilarious.
But yeah, that's why, you know, that's not really how that works.
Because again, I'm sure there are a lot of indigenous people the world over that would just be like, oh shit, it's just that easy?
My fucking god.
Dude, look at all this evidence that this is ours, you know?
It's insurmountable.
Please fuck off.
Yeah.
Yeah, there's no goddamn way I could possibly pronounce this guy's name.
But yeah, that did happen.
The former president of Mongolia just literally posted a map of the Mongol Empire, which is just literally all of Asia and Russia and everything.
Shut your stupid mouth behind me, Putin.
Yeah.
Like, what else you got?
I mean, that's also, like, the shakiest, like, that's also the worst possible argument to be making, right?
Like, if you just be like, but these documents from hundreds of years ago say that it used to be ours!
Like, that's not... Dude, explain why you are attacking them now.
Like, you had, like, hundreds of years to solve that beef, including hundreds of years back when it was the stupid ages, and, like, countries would just, like, be like, yeah, I guess they took it, and that's just sort of that, and, you know, what are we gonna do?
But, like, that's not the world we live in anymore.
Right.
And it's like, you do understand that nations change over the course of time, that we, America, was British colonies.
And then one day we were like, you know what?
We don't want to be British colonies anymore.
And we won the right to not be a British colony anymore, which is literally what happened with Ukraine.
They were part of the Soviet Union for a long time.
And then one day Ukraine was like, you know what?
Now the Soviet Union collapsed.
We're not a part of Russia anymore.
Get fucked, Russia.
We're our own country.
So I mean, it's just like, just this whole idea that you were once ours, which means you should be ours again, is like patently nonsense.
It's the most ridiculous thing ever.
And the fact that that was, this was a two hour interview, and so basically Putin spends slightly less than half the time of the interview just going down this weird rant about the historical connections between Russia and Ukraine.
And Tucker is just sitting there gobsmacked going, bro, bro, what do you want about bro?
And Putin is just, yo, like again, you, you talk to me in that tone again, you go out a window, you stupid prick.
So it's just like, yeah, just like maximum captive audience.
You just, you just get to see in media res Tucker Carlson realizing that he's just like, Oh, I'm really just here because I brought these cameras that are guaranteed to be broadcasting this message to the Western world for me.
Right?
The interview sucked.
It went really poorly.
It was really funny because there were a bunch of QAnon people that were like, oh my god, the West is going to just, this is going to go on X, and Elon's going to promote it, and Tucker's going to get Putin out there to tell people the truth about what's really going on in Russia, and Americans don't actually get to hear Putin speak.
When they do, they're gonna see he's not a monster, and he has a legitimate gripe for why he's doing what he's doing, and blah blah blah.
And, like, this is literally the Great Awakening.
It's all gonna happen, like, boom.
This is it.
And then, after the interview happened, like, most of QAnon was like, well, you know, it wasn't so great, but Tucker did good work there, and I heard what I needed to hear, so we're just gonna roll with it.
Like, even QAnon couldn't polish that turd.
Even they were just sort of like, ugh, this was...
Not great.
This was not what we were looking for.
In a hilarious turn of events, uh, somebody I know was talking, speaking of Ukraine, uh, just before we move on was somebody I know that happens to be a Republican, uh, was just like, Oh, the new, you know, the new bill has got like $61 billion more Ukraine to aid Ukraine.
So we've already spent like a hundred billion dollars over there.
Like what's an extra 61 billion you're going to do?
I didn't have the heart to tell this person.
Uh, that, uh, that money went to, Ukraine is not Russia, which means that that money is probably working.
I mean, I don't know what they, what else he expects.
He's like, we're, we're, we're, we spent a hundred billion dollars over there.
Why haven't they fucking, why haven't they cut off Vladimir Putin's head and parade it around Moscow?
And now Moscow, and now Russia is the new Ukraine.
It's just like, I don't know what you're expecting from this dude, but like.
Everybody expected Ukraine to fold immediately and yet here we are like 18 months later and they haven't lost.
So I think the money is working.
I remember when Russia started attacking, it was basically this idea that if Kiev doesn't fall in 72 hours, that is a huge win for Ukraine.
And now here we are, a year and a half later, and basically, like, in this interview with Putin, like, in this interview we talk about Putin basically saying, well, if I get some of the eastern sections of Ukraine and can keep those, I'm gonna call it a dub.
It's just like wow like they literally went from we're just gonna conquer Ukraine and it's all gonna be ours lickety split to we're just gonna try to grind it out over years of just brutal attrition warfare to get a chunk to just get a piece of Ukraine and then we're gonna try to Present that as a win after, like, rough estimates of like 300,000 dead Russians?
I mean, just a level of casualties Americans would never accept in a war.
Like, literally, whoever was the president of that war, unless we were fighting back an alien invasion where America, unless it was Independence Day, if America had six-figure dead in a war, Boy howdy, you are not the president anymore.
Opposition party, nominate a bag of mice.
They are the president now, because boy howdy, like that shit would not fly.
That's what a dictator gets to do.
Not quite anybody, not quite any bag of mice, Mike, because you'd have to make sure that they're not old.
Because it's just true.
In the year 2024, it turns out that our biggest problem with our presidential candidates is that they Are fuckin' old.
And that means that now on the show we get to periodically check in with Presidential Dementia Update.
So, Mike, our second Boost Topic for the week, give us the Dementia Update!
The dementia update of our boy Donald Trump is that he was doing a rally in Pennsylvania, as one does, because it's a battleground state, very important state.
And he started talking about how he knows all about the marbles.
I can tell you every marble.
And then he started talking about columns, because I think he meant marble as in the building structure and not marbles themselves, the little balls that you roll around that are made out of glass.
And then he asks, how could they have done it years ago without the powerful tractors?
He just didn't know how you would lift one of those marble pillars into place without having a tractor to do that work for you.
It seemed like it would be a really, really tough bunch of work for him.
So after his conversation... Did anybody go up and whisper the word slaves into his ears?
Yeah dude, like most of that shit back in the day, they just threw human suffering at it until it got done.
Oh man, if only that had been what happened.
It's like the starry-eyed optimism of the alien, of the ancient aliens people, just being like, the pyramids, dude, how can you possibly make such a thing without alien involvement?
It's just like, I've got a theory that's going to put fucking socks on, dude.
Like, you're really not going to like this one.
Are you Caucasian?
All right, get ready for some guilt.
It's coming.
It's going to trigger your white guilt in a bad way, but I'm going to drop this word on you real quick and see how it sits.
Slaves.
Yeah, you don't like that one, do you?
Yeah, that's rough.
But that is how they did it.
So yeah, right.
Exactly.
And he then pivoted from his dissertation on marbles to talk about how if he were to lose this election that is upcoming, quote unquote, they will change the Pennsylvania will not exist anymore.
Because they will change its name.
So I did not know that Biden was running on a campaign platform of renaming Pennsylvania, but apparently that is in the works.
So that when the Democrats win the 2024 presidential election, no more Pennsylvania.
Your name is gone.
You'll be whatever we want you to be.
The vaccinated people were Republican Swift, perhaps.
I don't know, but yes.
I mean, can I just start by saying that it's absolutely insane for him to have started his rant talking about marbles?
There's like one idiom involving marbles, and it literally indicates that you are losing your mind.
So that's pretty fun.
It's a fun way to start.
I mean, granted, he's talking allegedly about the stone substance, marble.
But, you know, for him to, for him to start, uh, for him to start this whole process off by just being like, let's talk about marbles real quick before I completely lose them.
And guess what?
They're going to, how did they get these columns up without tractors?
That's insane.
And also, by the way, Pennsylvania.
Yeah.
They're going to take that name from you.
It's like, what are you talking about, buddy?
Yeah.
What's the, what's up with the name conspiracy?
Has anyone deciphered that?
I heard that sound by going around.
Does anybody know what the fuck he's talking about?
Uh, supposedly there was a plan somewhere to remove a statue of William Penn, the founder of Pennsylvania, uh, because probably he's like problematic on some level or another, but that was literally a meeting.
It would never went anywhere.
They abandoned the idea.
The statue remains.
So someone somewhere had to tell Trump about this minor kerfuffle about the statue that again, was only in like the fever swamps of the right wing nut bag internet.
And Trump with his genius brain somehow heard about this argument over the statue and then like just transformed that in from they're taking down a statue to they're going to rename Pennsylvania.
Because that's what a very lucid, coherent person does.
That when they get in front of like the press and speak to the world so that their message can be recorded for all of time itself.
Yeah, I feel like we've all probably met one of those people who tell stories, but they leave out, like, in their mind it's super clear because they've made the three steps they need to mentally, but they don't explain those steps to you.
So, like, you know, we've, like, I've certainly had moments like that where I'm talking to people, sometimes a booze is involved, and they'll just be talking about a thing, and I'll just have to look them dead in the eye and just be like, What the fuck are you talking about?
Like, what do you want about right now?
I need you to explain all the steps to me, because you're making no sense right now, Grandpa.
Right, exactly.
Fun stuff.
And the sad part about this is, like, that was the non-lucid stuff.
The part where he was just like, I want Russia to kick everybody's ass.
That was when he was lucid.
I mean, it's just like, oh my God.
It's like, even when you're coherent, you're fucking terrifying.
Yeah, it is.
When it comes to lucidity, he forgets that he's supposed to, like, he doesn't have, he can't have lucidity
and subtlety slash, you know, deception.
So when he's lucid, he just says the quiet part out loud.
And he's just like, he'll regain lucidity and just be like, yeah, I kind of hope
that Russia beats a little bit of ass.
And, you know, I fucking really hope that the stock market crashes with Joe Biden's president
because that would make my campaign look super great.
Like, his people are like off camera, like doing the fucking shut the fuck up motion.
Shut your fucking mouth go back to sleep Talk about how Pennsylvania's gonna get a different name or whatever for the love of fucking God.
Alright, let's move on to happier news.
Here in my Boosh topic listing, it just says, Dims unseat Santos.
I don't know fuck all about this, but that sounds like good news to me.
Mike, what's going on?
We're still talking about Santos, huh?
The black hole that Santos left behind?
Icon.
Yes.
It's the final death rattle of Santos.
Yes, this is his dismount from American politics.
Until he's convicted of his innumerate crimes, and we have to cover his conviction for the crimes.
I mean, that's about it, though.
But yeah, his district, the New York 3rd District, As people pointed out, Biden won this district by eight, and then somehow the district swung 16 points when Santos won it.
It then swung back.
So Tom Suozzi won the district.
Mules?
Mules.
It could have been Republican mules.
Santos could have had some mules working for him.
Mules and then they mulesd back.
It was mules on mules action.
Oh, hot mule on mule action.
It's all about that.
Oh my gosh.
Mulesing back and forth forever.
4,000 mules!
It's just all the mules.
But yeah, so, Tom Suozzi won the seat back for the Democrats.
And he, again, won by, I believe anywhere between 8 to 10 points, depending on what the count is at, but it was a decisive win.
The best part about this is Steve Bannon screaming that it was rigged when the Republican who lost, she said, I lost, I congratulate my opponent for beating me.
Good job, buddy.
Donald Trump threw a fit and said that she blew it and she sucks.
Trump himself declared, I want to be loved, which is something a very rational person should put out on social media.
That's a great thing for a robot to say, you know, I want to be loved!
Yes!
No way Taylor can endorse sleepy old Joe!
Oh god, that was the greatest thing!
We're going to have to talk about that during the Super Bowl part because man, was that thirsty.
Yes, that was insane.
I just want to be loved by you, Taylor!
Okay, RoboTrump, deactivate until the headline segment.
RoboTrump, back in your fucking closet!
Sorry.
Yeah, so all of this happened.
Mr. Johnson, the Speaker of the House and resident dum-dum, Has said that he's not worried about this, the fact that, again, 16-point swing back the other way.
Republicans are still totally doing great.
We're killing it.
And George Santos put a text message in a group of his former colleagues, pissing and moaning about how they blew this and lost the seat, and said, I hope you guys are happy with this dismal performance and the $10 million your feudal bullshit cost the party.
I look very much forward to seeing most of you lose due to your absolute hate-filled campaign to remove me from Congress arbitrarily.
Now go tell the Republican base what you fucking idiots did and good luck raising money next quarter.
George Santos.
To which Congressman Andrew Garbino responded to him, sorry new phone, who dis?
So, yeah.
That's you, George Santos.
That's a pretty sick burn, I guess.
But also, my favorite part about that is how Santos is just being so catty and petty about being removed for crimes that it's super obvious that he did.
And everybody knows that he did, including him.
It's just like, dude, you got caught for crimes that were, like, mad, like, obvious and innumerable.
You know, like, you did so much crimes that they, yeah, you put them in a position where they had to kick you out.
That's, that was crazy.
Yeah, this is the Republican Party.
Do you know how low the bar for ethics is in the Republican Party?
You have to work so hard for them to expel you.
Yeah, Matt Gaetz still has a job, right?
Matt, hotel emoji, fuckin' eggplant emoji, dollar sign emoji, via Venmo, Gates is still rockin' and rollin'.
Yeah, all that to Sabrina.
She's definitely 18.
The payment on the Venmo.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, there's... That shit with Gates is still percolating now.
It's coming back, apparently.
Couldn't happen to a nicer guy.
I truly actually hope that anything actually resolves from that front, because fuck that piece of shit, too.
So, Santos... And I've seen some other right-wingers bitching and moaning.
They threw out Santos and a Democrat won that district.
What are we even doing?
And it's like, really?
You wanted to hold on to that district for another, like, I don't know, like nine months before you got absolutely crib stomped in the general election with Santos the criminal as your avatar?
Was that your dream?
I mean, like, seriously, what was the hope there?
Well, best of luck, you stupid fucks!
Yes!
How dare you arbitrarily come after me for all the crimes I did!
Arbitrarily?
What a strong word, Santos.
What a legend.
Speaking of legends, it's time for us to get into our legendary co-host's personal bit of the show and talk about the flaming dumpster crater that is Arizona in our Arizona Madness Roundup of the Week, featuring Haley, aka Arizona Right Watch.
Hi, Haley!
Your talents are wasted here, but it's time for you to waste them less, I guess, because this is your time to shine.
I think all of our talents are wasted here in their own individual way.
That is how we are like snowflakes, in the ways we are wasting our talents.
Yep.
On this podcast.
But it makes for a very good podcast for those who like to listen to us ramble.
So we'll go with that.
I guess.
Mike gassed up the Arizona segment ahead of recording to me this week.
He said that it's a fun one.
So what's going on in Arizona this week?
Let me slash the listeners know.
Well, we've talked about Sparky the Sun Devil, the mascot of Arizona State University, and the Shocker being the, like, you know, when they do their chant, they put up the Shocker.
We've talked about this, right?
Yes.
Yes.
When are we not talking about the Shocker?
You're so bright.
I'm kind of surprised we're not talking about the Shocker right now.
Sparky the Sun Devil is an interesting character.
Um, in Arizona State University history, he's been the mascot since like the 50s.
He replaced like a bulldog as a mascot and kind of became like an icon here.
The guy who created him used to work for Walt Disney so there's kind of like if you look at Sparky the Sun Devil he kind of looks like Walt Disney.
He looks a little bit like in the face.
There's like a rumor that Sparky was based on Walt Disney and yeah the The Walt Disney Company even like eventually in the late to like in the in the in the 2010s helped to redesign the costume.
It's like kind of a big icon here.
Lots of people play Sparky throughout the campus.
Like there's Sparkies who are sports Sparkies.
There's Sparkies who just kind of walk around the campus and take photos.
There's Sparkies that do official events.
There's Sparky art all over Tempe and like the Phoenix area.
Because it's a big symbol of ASU.
So I'm talking about all this because... So you remember like a couple months ago?
When that satanic, uh, temple statue was destroyed at, like, the Mississippi, uh, no, it was the Iowa capital.
It was the Iowa's capital.
I think it was Illinois, but yeah, Illinois or Iowa, but yeah, anyways.
Um, it says Iowa in this article.
It said, uh, it said a Mississippi man accused of destroying satanic display at Iowa Capitol is now charged with hate crime.
So this was a former Congressman, Michael Cassidy, and he destroyed the, uh, the satanic display because he got offended by it.
We know the story a little bit.
It was kind of viral news.
Well, this inspired some legislation here.
By a man named Jake Hoffman.
Jake Hoffman is a Turning Point USA legislator here.
So he worked for Turning Point USA and then he became a legislator here.
He actually was part of a like a firm he owned like a firm or he still does called Rally Forge that is like partnered with Turning Point.
It was partnered with Turning Point USA.
And he helped run like a troll farm for Turning Point and got removed from like all social media, like basically traditional social media for it.
He's recently back on Twitter because Twitter doesn't care anymore.
But this is Jake Hoffman.
So he's a Turning Point USA guy.
Inspired by the situation that happened at the Iowa Capitol, he put forth some legislation that would ban satanic displays from public property.
It would prohibit it entirely.
It's a very short bill.
It says, Satanic memorials, statues, altars, or displays, or any other method of representing or honoring Satan may not be displayed on public property in this state.
Satanic memorial statues, altars, or displays, or any other method representing or honoring Satan may not be displayed on any public property.
It just basically repeats that three to four times.
They're calling it the Reject Escalating Satanism by Preserving Essential Core Traditions Act, or the RESPECT Act.
Politicians love that shit.
That is one of Elle's favorite things, that the Patriot Act actually stands for something.
Yeah, I love their desire to needlessly acronym stuff or like, you know, to really work at it.
I always dreamed that there would be a position in the government that was just doing that and that I could have that position.
That'd be my dream job.
Funny job.
That is such a good job.
It's like a guy who names ice cream flavors job, you know?
I just love the idea of something like, L, work out how we can make Patriot the, like, title of the bill, but put words in it.
Like, you got it, boss, and just work on that.
I completely do not remember what the Patriot Act stands for, but I'm sure it's ridiculous.
It's like when the Arizona person did the Nothing Can Stop What Is Coming reverse enneagram for the fucking COVID thing.
They just love that shit.
So anyway, Jake Hoffman put forth this bill that's basically like, no more Satanism, no more Satan allowed on any, um, you know, uh, just, uh, any, in public, in public property, uh, state property, uh, anything like that.
This is obviously against the fucking First Amendment.
I think that's pretty obvious.
The turning point, USA, we love freedom.
We love the Constitution.
We love, Yeah, but at the same time it's pretty obvious the Founding Fathers hated Satan, obviously.
Except for the fact that they were also apparently all involved in these double-secret cults that became the Illuminati and the Freebases and all that shit.
They loved Satan, but the good ones hated Satan.
See, this is part of my problem is because like, I'm not trying to be a bitch and debate Lord here, but like, there were some Satanists obviously that spoke out against this bill at the meeting.
And it's like, Jake Hoffman clearly believes in Satan, but from a Christian perspective as he's the bad guy, but he's just upset that some people don't view it that way.
And it's like, it's just odd to me.
You know, it's like, technically you also believe in Satan, man.
You know?
Yeah, Satan is part of your mythology.
He's just the bad guy and we can't cheer for him.
This would be akin to having a bill where if I go to a wrestling show, I cannot cheer for the bad guy.
When the bad guy punches the good guy and I go, Yay!
Like I'm arrested.
I'm just like dragged out.
You can't cheer for the evil.
foreign bad guy who's fighting our all-american good hero and it's like I bought my ticket I can do what I want like no you can't I mean it's just it's so silly to me to be mad at Satan when Satan is a loser who is not all powerful and if God wanted to kill him he would just do so but like you're That's what your religion tells me is what would actually happen in a fight between God and the Devil, and yet the Devil still exists, and you can't explain that, and you hate not explaining it, so you have to do stuff like this and just be pouty and sad.
So, obviously this won't pass.
you know, like even if it does, even if it managed to pass, Katie Hobbs would not sign this.
And it's totally gonna cause so many legal issues that they're gonna get sued into oblivion. This is
literally just a waste of fucking time. But it did pass through committee because of course it did.
All the Republicans pushed it forward.
The one Democrat was like, so we are banning religion?
Does nobody see what's wrong with that?
And Hoffman, he doesn't agree with the argument that to be a Satanist is protected under the First Amendment because he kept saying, like, Satan is the antithesis of religion and it's like, I don't know it just feels so like nitpicky about like how we can perceive Satan even because he believes in Satan that it's funny to me but this is also bringing about the conversation the local media is kind of like they're less focusing on the fact that like you know
They're going after people's religious rights and they're focusing on like, are we going to lose Sparky?
Our iconic mascot of Arizona and ASU?
This is horseshit.
Who are we going to get out there and throw out the shocker for us?
The reason why I said, oh my God, was I'm just imagining Governor Lake just with a shit-eating grin on her face as she signs the anti-Satan bill.
And she's just like, I'm keeping Arizona pure and God-loving and Christian and now the anti-Satan bill isn't...
She would probably have used like 100 pens.
She would have like used so many pens.
And then she throws up the shocker.
Yes!
You do like a princess wave, but with shockers on both hands.
She's like, we really did it.
And everyone's just like, yeah, that's right.
Foreign too.
That's crazy real estate.
Okay, let's... I mean, that is fun.
I just always love it when people are going after satanists, because satanists don't do anything.
They don't do anything but lightly antagonize people that are easy targets.
They're like the Mike Rades of religious orders.
It works so easily.
They feel like God needs a guy to pass bills for him, you know?
It's like he can't deal with Satan on his own.
He needs Jake Hoffman to pass some bills protecting his good name.
Of course he's got to.
He needs a lot of people on earth to do a lot of his light work for him.
I'm just going to say that right now, you know what I mean?
Yeah, someone said that about the border bill that got quashed, that got killed by Trump.
They were like, this border bill was decreed by God as a boomerang to backfire upon the deep state.
It's like, why doesn't God just turn Joe Biden into a pillar of salt?
I mean, why does God have to work through legislation?
He's God!
He can do anything he wants!
It's so ridiculous.
Oh, I don't know if you know the fam, Mike Rates, but he's turning that man into a pillar of salt.
It just takes its time.
He's just doing it real slow.
But it's happening.
I mean... Oh god, he's okay.
Just look at him.
Yes!
Everybody was big mad at Sleepy Joe because of... The Super Bowl!
Let's go to our headline news!
From the digital headlines to the digital front lines, it's Q's in the News.
That's right, Hayley.
Superbowl, indeed.
I think that's what you said.
It definitely was a superbowl.
I'm pretty sure you said superbowl.
Superbowl.
Yes.
Superbowl, whichever one it was, happened.
And, of course, as scripted, Taylor Swift won and brought her boyfriend in, Patrick Mahomes, who, I guess, with them, who?
But no, Taylor Swift was there, so was Ice Spice, and also some guys?
I don't know.
Who cares?
But also commercials happened, and some people found out some uncomfortable truths about Jesus Christ, and there's a big debate about that.
It was great.
I love the Super Bowl.
Usher was there.
Alicia Keys never missed a note.
Perfect.
There's a lot of stuff we could talk about.
I don't know how much of it is relevant to QAnon, so I'm going to toss it over to Mike to figure it out.
Mike, let's talk about the QAnon of it all first, before we get all tangeny.
We gotta listen out there so we're all too unfocused.
Yes, so the first thing that we would bring up is the fact that the Super Bowl was in fact rigged and stolen, as QAnon always believed it would be.
The Kansas City Chiefs did in fact win the Super Bowl, as was predetermined.
To be fair, I stopped watching the game like early because I needed to take a ride share someplace and I didn't want to get soaked on the price or the time.
And it was like still 10-3 San Francisco 49ers.
And I got home and instead of turning back on the Super Bowl, decided to go to bed.
And when I went to bed, I was just like, Eh, Kansas City's going to win anyway.
I mean, they were behind at the time of that thought.
And I just went to bed knowing I was going to wake up and my friends were going to be hoisting their invisible trophies above their head because they live in Kansas City and be like, yay, we did it.
So it was scripted and good for them.
You know, they set off the payoff and delivered it adequately.
Yeah.
This has led to a bunch of QAnon promoters and right-wing dipshits to talk about this.
They've made this claim.
That the NFL is, quote-unquote, registered as sports entertainment, the same as the WWE is.
And this claim is all over right-wing media, and I don't know where it comes from because there's no such thing as, quote-unquote, registering as sports entertainment.
That is not a real thing.
There is no grand registry of athletic endeavors where you can register as, quote-unquote, a pure sport, or as sports entertainment, or as just entertainment.
The term sports entertainment was coined by probable serial rapist and absolute monster Vince McMahon because he hates the term wrestling and he hates wrestlers as a term.
So he came up with sports entertainment as a way to try to rebrand wrestling.
Uh, it is, has nothing to do with, uh, the NFL's like quote unquote, how they're marketing themselves and how they do these things.
The other thing is, is that, uh, betting on rigged activities, uh, or predetermined activities is pretty much illegal.
You can't do that.
You cannot bet a million dollars on a wrestling match because that's a predetermined outcome.
And the people that are in charge of that could change that outcome to win if they so desired it.
Whereas if you wanted to bet a million dollars on the Superbowl, you could.
What if I go back in time and get an almanac and then come back in time with that almanac and it tells me who's going to win all the World Series games?
Would that be considered cheating if I put bets on those?
Did you say, what if you went back in time and found an almanac?
Because that wouldn't do you much good.
You're right.
I would have to go forward in time.
You're correct.
I'm sorry.
I got this confused.
Time, you know?
Would this be allowed?
You have forgotten the plot to Back to the Future 2.
I did.
It was.
I went the wrong way.
That always happens.
That would be my problem with the time machine.
I would go the wrong way.
But answer my question, please.
Is that considered cheating?
Is there technically rules against going forward in time, getting an almanac, and then making bets on the World Series or whatever?
Uh, the situation there would be just that you would be considered what we call in the industry a quote, advantage player.
And advantage players get cut off from gambling.
That's just the way that works.
So as an advantage player, you basically just sort of have to, uh, you have to disguise what you're doing.
Other people have to make the bets for you.
You have to put in losing bets along with your winning bets.
I need the sheepdog people in the making bets for me 15 years down the line.
Sheep dip.
But yes, you love calling sheep dog.
You love getting that term wrong.
So that that was going around a lot.
Everyone screaming that it's rigged, which, as I've stated numerous times on social media, If you thought this was all rigged, and quote-unquote, you knew it was all rigged, guess what?
The Chiefs played four playoff games.
They had to win all four of them to complete the rigging.
So, the moment the playoffs started, you should have bet the Chiefs to win the Super Bowl and gotten those odds.
Then you should have bet the Chiefs to have won all four of their games individually, which they would have to do.
Against Miami, they were a slight favorite.
But against Buffalo, Baltimore, and the 49ers, they were an underdog in all of those games.
So you would have just been getting showered in cash if you bet them the whole way.
You were betting $100 to win $140, betting in all those games.
When it got to the bowl, the sportsbook stopped.
Paying out that much, but you were still getting even money on the Chiefs.
So if you bet a million dollars, you just receive another million dollars.
And again, because you know the game is rigged, free money!
I don't know why you're all complaining about literally having a font of infinite cash that just pours into your lap at will, but these people, I guess they just hate success and glory and vindication, so they're just going to whine about how Taylor Swift and her vaccinated boyfriend won the Super Bowl because it was all rigged.
Well, yeah, it was rigged for our buddy Sleepy Joe.
Yes, he even said as much on the tweeters.
Yes.
So Joe Biden, or at least Joe Biden's Twitter feed, posted a dark branded meme of him with the laser eyes after the Super Bowl saying, just as we drew it up.
And the awesome part about this was that literally everybody on social media was offended by this.
The right-wingers were obviously agitated and furious about this, but the hard left, the free Palestine left, Israel conducted a raid into Palestine to free hostages and this led to collateral damage.
People were obviously injured and killed.
This was not a good thing.
We hope for the war to end.
Please, that would be great.
But the gist of it was is that these people were just like All these children were murdered in this raid and Biden's bragging about it because that's what his tweet was about.
It was about this Israel-U.S.
joint force attack to free these hostages.
And that's what the meme was.
And it's like, buddy, it was about how the Super Bowl's rigged and the pro-Biden team won.
And you would have to be completely detached from the social media zeitgeist to try to think this has anything to do with Israel-Palestine.
But nope.
I saw people in dead earnestness screaming that this was about what happened in Palestine and in Gaza.
Joe Biden does not want anybody to remember what's going on in Israel right now.
Or Israel-Palestine, I should say.
He would prefer that everyone just forget about that.
He's not poking that bear.
Right.
In fact, in releasing this meme, he inadvertently poked that bear because a bunch of people were just like, hey dickhead, stop making these funny fucking meme jokes while you're, like, funneling billions of dollars into a genocide, you dumb fuck.
And, uh, you know, like, I'm kind of just like, you know, I feel like there's room for a little bit of levity and also for him to stop a genocide, but, like, it's hard to really argue against those people.
It's just like, I mean, yeah, if our priorities were straight, the genocide thing would be number one, but, like, I get why they're angry.
I'm not one of those people, but I'm not saying that they're necessarily wrong, you know?
Oh, I get the anger.
I completely understand the anger, and I understand what's going on.
It's just, to me, what drives me nuts is that these people are just like, well now, like, just the whole idea that There's any sort of wish-casting about what Trump would do in this situation?
And it's like, we know what Trump would do.
There's literally an occupied settlement that has Trump's name on it, because he lets the Israelis do whatever he wants.
And it just drives me up a wall to hear people being like, Biden is bad when it comes to this situation, so we need to elect the guy who's worse on this, and also on literally everything else, and then things will work out better for us.
Because reasons.
And then I just sit there and I'm like, how?
How is electing the guy who literally campaigned previously on, and is now campaigning on again, a Muslim ban?
A guy who just literally uses Muslims as a scapegoat for his racism and xenophobia.
Like, that's the guy that we're, like, hitching our wagon to.
Just racist McHateful.
And I'm just like, oh man, I just... And you're right to be confused and angry about that.
But also, shut up.
We have to talk about Super Bowl commercials.
Yes!
No, we do.
We do.
Because the first one... We have to talk about iSpice going like...
This?
We'll get to Ice Spice being a Satanist in a minute, but we gotta do the commercials first.
Let's talk about the Ice Spice thing, because I don't know what the fuck you're talking about, and Hayley seems fired up about it, and her talents are wasted.
Get in there, mix it up.
What the fuck are you talking about?
I genuinely don't know what the fuck that is.
Um, Ice Spice was part of the entourage with Taylor Swift.
I and, as was Blake Lively, they all appeared together.
I know that this is literally, I'm not even gonna lie, I didn't watch a second of the Super Bowl.
I didn't watch the halftime performance.
I didn't watch a single commercial.
But I did see Taylor come in with Ice Spice.
I like Ice Spice.
I like Munch.
Someone get me a Munch crop top.
Um, and iSpice also looks cool all the time.
They have, they have cool fashion.
I like iSpice.
Um, and they were wearing a necklace that was an X. It was like a, it was a, not an X. It was, it was like a, it wasn't a cross, but it wasn't a cross.
It was a plus sign.
It could be a Greek cross or a plus sign.
Yes.
Plus sign.
It was a, it was a perfectly equal, you know, like, Like you're drawing a window.
It's just the two it's the up.
It's a perfectly parallel line.
It's a perfectly... Maybe it was a shuriken.
The vertical line and they are perfectly centered.
It could have been a shuriken.
It was not a cross.
Just to be clear but so she was wearing that and then when Usher performed she was dancing for like she was dancing and for exactly 0.5 seconds she kind of with her hands did a little little dance with her hands and it put up like the little oh what's my Okay, that's pretty intense.
Silent Caribou.
For those of you listening at home, Hayley is doing the Silent Caribou hand motion, where you take your middle two fingers and press them down onto your thumb, extending your pinky and index finger so that it looks like an animal with some long ears.
Or little demon horns.
Or little demon horns, if you want to be a weird Satanist about it.
And that's where most people took it.
And for some reason, it's making my camera go wild.
Are you guys seeing this?
I mean, yes, Mike and I are saying this, but our listener are not.
Yeah, this is wild.
This is a new feature unlocked with hand gestures.
They're not going to be nearly as impressed by the laser light show.
No, they're not.
But anyway, so she was doing this, but doing a little dance for like literally a second.
And I saw that getting baked to all hell.
I actually got two notifications from the Reawaken America Tour that was about the Super Bowl and one of them used Ice Spice in it.
And it was just to sell tickets to their Reawaken Tour.
And it was Super Bowl or Super Ball?
Putin Tucker Highlights, Taylor Swift, Musk's ex-app, and Reawaken in Michigan on the Dude, to be fucking fair, if I was gonna have like a huge Satanist convention, Superball is a great name for it.
It's a good one.
That one's way better than Superb Owl.
Yeah, dude.
Superball.
That sounds great.
That could be like a fucking metal album or a metal tour.
Yeah, if we ever actually do a Blood Bowl League that makes it to completion, the Super Bowl is definitely the championship game.
Can you call that the name of the episode?
Can you use Super Bowl?
Okay, thank you.
Done yesterday.
And then the next one that the Reawakened Tour sent me was Swift, Ice Spice, and Satan Worship at the Super Bowl?
Schwab, Fourth Industrial Revolution Plans, Dollar Going Away?
Buy tickets here!
So they're doing good.
So what I heard is that Ice Spice is very much into K-pop and that Babymetal likes to throw up that hand gesture.
It's supposed to be like the foxhound.
It's supposed to be the fox sign.
And so that was basically a shout out to Babymetal.
Of course, because anything that looks vaguely like the Hookham Horns sign or the Devil sign is something that infuriates and antagonizes these people.
If you do anything with your hands, basically, except just like wave them generally back and forth, you are agitating the right-wing lunatics.
So yeah, and they also indicated that the plus sign or potentially Greek cross that Iceface was wearing was an upside-down cross, and that was more Satanism.
And they were very much invested in this.
I mostly know the Greek cross controversy because this was something that Chelsea Clinton wore.
Ice Spice's plus sign cross thing was large.
It was basically like two inches.
Both halves of the plus sign were very long.
Whereas the one Chelsea Clinton wore was very small.
It was this very tiny little plus sign of a cross.
QAnon and other people have baked Chelsea's tiny little cross in being a super bad, upside-down cross, evil devil thing.
And she actually went on social media and said, no, this is a Greek cross.
Calm down, guys.
I haven't seen Ice Spice talk to the haters at all in any way, shape, or form.
But I'm just saying that, like, This, again, it wasn't an upside-down cross, as Haley has said repeatedly.
And also, again, if you guys even know your dumb religion, the upside-down cross is the cross of St.
Peter.
It is a cross that was made that way because St.
Peter, when he was being executed for his heresy of being a Christian, asked to be crucified upside-down because he did not think himself worthy to be murdered the same way Jesus was.
Yeah, so check yourself, fake fucking Christians.
Mike Raines is right about this, and of course he is.
But also, shut up.
We have to talk about Super Bowl commercials.
Also, Usher danced in fire, I know that.
No, Usher can shut his fucking mouth until we're done talking about commercials.
Because we do.
We have to talk about the Jesus commercials!
The world on fire.
Yeah, so, of course, for those of you who have been living under a rock, the fucking group, He Gets Us, paid for two commercial stars.
Hilarious.
During the Super Bowl.
And the second one was a huge whatever, who cares about that one.
But the first one, Oh boy, howdy.
The first one was all about people giving foot baths to other people.
A joke that we bring up frequently on this very podcast.
How Jesus was all about humbling yourself before even the lowliest other person by washing their feet.
So he gets us was just like, you know, it would be a cool Super Bowl spot.
A bunch of people washing the feet of people you wouldn't expect to be getting along, you know, like a like a girl getting an abortion in some good Christian.
Uh, okay.
So, uh, it sparked a lot of controversy.
I will say, for the record, when that commercial started, my friends and I were goofing on it because we were watching it live.
And I was just like, I think the only way that this, like, I was just like, I don't know what this is about to try to sell us.
It seems like it might be Pepsi.
The only way this commercial is acceptable, if it is by Christians, for Christians, and the message at the end of it is do better.
And that is kind of what the commercial was.
So I was just like, dude, I have to give him credit.
That is kind of what the commercial is.
But if you look into that, Oh god, so the QAnon side of this thing is very upset.
But the footbathing thing is pretty on the nose.
But I'd like to see what my two co-hosts have heard.
The scuttlebutt vis-a-vis, the footbathing, foot fetish, Christ Loves Feet commercial.
Yeah, I, oh God, so the QAnon side of this thing is very upset.
They were very mad about this.
One guy I follow says that he gets a Super Bowl commercial as nothing but a sick, woke fantasy using Christianity
a shield to subliminally shit on conservatives.
And then it goes through all the different people getting their feet washed.
And the big thing is, is that This person is very upset about the fact that, in general, a white person who is basically representing the conservative is the one doing the foot washing, and the liberal is the one who is getting their feet washed.
And that this is... And that's enraging, because the liberal should be a Christian to reflect reality?
Yeah, right.
And this is how this moron, he goes through all the lists and he says, each slide contains a left-wing talking point and the images used to make them look superior to us as we are their humble slaves.
It's humiliation porn for libs.
It's like, buddy, Do you not know how fucking Christianity and Jesus works?
The whole point of this is that Jesus, the literal Son of God, the most powerful entity in the world, is showing to us His humility.
That He is doing for the least of us that which must, should be done.
Washing their feet, tending to their injuries, caring for them.
Like, that's literally the whole crux of Jesus' message.
Also, for my record, In that book, typically the ones that everybody else is like intentionally just being like, nah, that's not the sort of person you should fuck with.
You know, like lepers and prostitutes and stuff.
Like, yes, like Jesus's whole deal is finding the one you would expect the least and then washing their feet.
It's kind of his deal.
Yeah, I mean, this is Bible 101.
This is, that which you do to the least of us, you do to me.
It's just, that's the whole message.
And the fact that this guy's like, you're having the what?
Good person wash the feet of the bad person because they're trans, or they're going to kill their baby, or they're some sort of other degenerate freak.
Yeah, this is wrong and bad.
And I don't know if Haley's seen this, but Charlie Kirk is also throwing a fit about this ad.
Charlie Kirk is very upset about this ad.
He did last year, too.
This is very funny.
Or two years ago.
So when the Super Bowl was in Phoenix last year, was it last year that it was in Phoenix?
It was.
Yep.
The He Gets Us campaign also aired some shit during the Super Bowl and it was a similar thing.
I didn't actually see these recent He Gets Us commercials, but I did do a little bit of a deep dive into them last year when they had their shit here.
Because it had a similar theme.
It was like, look at these two people that should hate each other, but they aren't, kind of.
Um, there was like a cop, you know, hugging a black man type of thing.
Uh, there was like a clear Jacob Chansley knockoff, like just in one of them.
Uh, Yeah there was like you know uh mass nurses with uh fucking the liberty over lockdown people like that's like they had signs that was clearly like they were anti-lockdown.
You can tell that this is causing a big ripple in like the community uh because of like its religious connotations bringing out a bunch of idiots being about a lot of vocal about a bunch of shit because It has completely overshadowed what I seem to think is some pretty obvious usage of AI in this commercial.
I mean, the whole thing to me... Oh, interesting.
I should watch it.
I was like, dude, this whole thing looks like AI to me.
I'm not sure if that's... I can't 100% corroborate that, of course, but just looking at it, it triggered my AI sense, and I haven't heard anybody talking about that shit.
Everybody's giving them credit for making these real arts by hand, showing all these people doing this foot bathing, and I'm just like, I don't know about that, but maybe.
I mean, you would hope so, but...
But so the project is all like this subsidiary, it's like part of this nonprofit called the Servant Foundation, like Hobby Lobby.
The Hobby Lobby co-founder is part of some of the funding behind this.
A lot of their funding is anonymous.
They literally have on their website, it's like, because the story isn't about us, it's about Jesus.
It's about Jesus!
Yeah.
Huh?
Yes!
He gets us, Jesus.
Do you see what we're doing here?
But that Servant Foundation like also funnels big bucks into Alliance Defending Freedom, which is a hate group here in Arizona that is like kind of responsible for like Every time there's an anti-LGBT or anti-reproductive type of legislation or like one row fell or how they're going after, you know, birth control and the abortion pill, these people are usually behind it.
They suck.
They're a Christian fascist organization headquartered here and the Servant Foundation funnels big bucks into them.
And funny, Charlie did get mad last year at He Gets Us.
He said that they have done one of the worst services to Christianity in the modern era.
The Green family, that's the Hobby Lobby people, are decent, wonderful people who have been taken for a ride by these woke tricksters, so sad.
But the Servant Foundation also funds Turning Point USA.
So this is interesting that Charlie is like pissed at these people because the money that they're making through this like I don't know.
Semi-centrist campaign helps funnel money back into him.
I even have some He Gets Us stuff because they were handing it out for free last year at the Super Bowl and I just ordered a bunch of it because it was free.
So I have a whole box of He Gets Us stuff.
So yeah, that's my story with He Gets Us.
Fuck them.
Fuck Charlie Kirk.
Well, it looks like it has amused and horrified Mike Rains, and as well it should.
But shut up, Mike Rains, because we have to talk about a different commercial.
Because it turns out that Jesus Christ isn't the only white American hero figure that made a commercial to anger people at this Super Bowl.
Because the Kennedys have come out in force by which I mean Rush Kennedy Jr.
Oh, he comes out like the ultimate warrior to piss off fucking everybody.
Oh my god.
Like, Michael looked like he had no idea where that was going when it started and
when I got to the punchline he looked so pumped.
So I'm just gonna toss it right over to Mike.
Mike, you had to have been very excited about this commercial.
Oh my god!
I almost fell off the couch when I saw that.
Because this ad is... So if you haven't seen the ad, it's literally just an ad that repeats the name Kennedy over and over again.
And it's all just a bunch of the...
Images and the iconic look of the JFK 1960 presidential ad, but they just AI or CGI imposed Robert Kennedy Jr.
over JFK and they just put him in all the ads.
The ad literally expressed no information except that Robert Kennedy is an independent and he's running for president and you should vote for him.
And by the way, did you know his last name is Kennedy?
He's a Kennedy.
You should vote for the Kennedy.
And that's it.
And you could just tell by the way the ad was constructed that this is literally just an attempt to siphon votes away from Joe Biden because it's just, Hey Democrats, do you remember the Kennedy name?
Well, guess what?
There's a Kennedy running for president.
Don't you want to vote for a Kennedy?
Your grandparents probably told you about how they voted for Kennedy.
And then he got shot and they were sad.
So like, This whole thing was just literally a desperate attempt to
trade off of his last name to try to get some attention for him because it didn't bring up
any of the things that he actually believes in.
Like the fact that he's a raging anti-vaxxer, the fact that he is a conspiracy loon besides
all of that, the fact that he pals around with Steve Bannon and Bannon was probably
the one that gave him the kick in the ass to run for president in the first place.
Or anything really, it's just sort of like an assortment of images about him in this
like ditty that I guess was all the rage back in like 1962 or whatever.
But, you know, it seems like it was just, like, a fucking... These days it just seems like a bad imitation of, like, an Eric Andre bit, like, about, like, a campaign ad from the 60s.
It's really disconcerting.
And part of it is just the fact that, like, there... Like, a lot of the parts where our new Kennedy boy is in there instead of our classic Kennedy boy, the original vintage Kennedy boy, Uh, it's all stuttery and weird looking, but like in a distracting way, not like an authentic film reel way.
Like it's just like, it looks like sloppy work.
It's like, yeah, it's very, it's a very bizarre watch.
I mean, when it came on live, I was just like, what is going on?
Especially cause I had no context for the original ad.
I mean, that was what I assumed was going on, but like, it's like, I had certainly never
seen this ad that was apparently like, somebody told me they talked about this ad on Mad Men
and that's how like a bunch of people that are like younger know about it.
Like one of my coworkers was just like, Oh yeah, they talked about that in Mad Men.
I was like, okay, cool.
But to me it was just very annoying and disconcerting.
I was just like, ugh, what is this?
Yeah, it was, it was super gross and incredibly tacky.
the Kennedy family came out and denounced the ad and said, what are FK juniors?
is doing here is fucking terrible, and we do not condone this.
The family says, like, boo to you for this shit.
And he responded, and he's like, yeah, I'm sure you feel that way.
My super PAC did it.
I have no coordination with them.
This was out of my hands.
Actually, it's illegal for them to coordinate with me on it, in fact.
Right.
He said, as his pinned tweet, was the ad.
And as it's recording, I believe, still is the ad.
Of course it is, oh my god.
Yeah, so, boy, man, holy shit.
Like, yeah, that was just such an unbelievably brazen and insane thing.
I just, I couldn't believe it when I saw it.
That was just such a, like, it was surreal.
It was just, watching that was such a strange thing, because I was like, man, I really cannot believe the nerve of this prick to just be like, you know, My dead uncle, I'm just gonna literally just steal one of his ads and just put it on TV.
And I'm literally doing this exclusively because my campaign, it exists only to try to steal money from Joe Biden, votes from Joe Biden.
And that ain't gonna work if you ever learn the first thing about me, because there is no connection between the Biden voter base and the RFK Jr.
voter base.
Democrats love questioning the vaccine.
Yes!
Okay.
Lord knows that there's a billion different things we could talk about, uh, about the Superbowl because it was a, it was a real doozy of a bowl of a superb, uh... Can we talk about the Chiefs parade shooting or do we save that till next week?
Uh, I mean, it's, it's sort of happening like as we speak, so let's wait until it resolves and see, see what goes down there.
Uh, I think it's happening as we're recording.
Let's just say now, listeners, that the conspiracies are already starting.
Jordan Sather is already blamed without anybody knowing, a trans person.
Yeah, okay.
We'll get into this.
I know, I'm just saying, it's already starting.
You guys know how it is.
It's literally happening in real time.
Keep it in your pants, Hayley.
We're already running long, but we have to talk about Usher, because I'm sure that Usher is satanic.
I need to be explained to how Usher is satanic before we get to our listener mailbag.
So basically, Usher was on a giant flaming clock, and so people decided that that was a sign that he was working for the Egyptian sun god, who people misidentified as Osiris and not Ra or Amun-Ra.
That's crazy.
I can't imagine that these people would confuse their Egyptian gods like that.
I know, it's so weird.
I love how in my head it's just like, fucking amateur hour over here, but I feel like to your typical person, you could just be told any name and you're just like, that sounds right.
Yeah, exactly.
So basically, Usher on the giant flaming circle, that was the moment that people really got into the Illuminati stuff, where they were like, oh shit, look, Usher's doing it!
And they tried to do this weird thing where they mistranslated a Among many of Osiris's name, Egyptianologists also refer to him as Yusir or Yusir, almost sounds like Usher.
And people have explained that that is not an actual translation of Osiris.
And again, Osiris is not the sun god.
So they had to start from an incorrect starting point and then race to their incorrect conclusion to connect the Egyptian sun god to Usher.
And also, even if Usher was trying to get some Sun God vibes in there, like, who cares?
That seems like it would be within a pop star's wheelhouse, right?
Yeah.
And as I said on Twitter, these people are going to be really upset when the Detroit Lions wide receiver Amun Ra St.
Brown scores the game-winning touchdown next year.
Because Amun Ra is actually the Sun God.
I literally say that whenever I'm watching football and that guy catches a pass.
Yeah, but I mean, that's never going to happen, so...
You said Detroit Lions, right?
Just like the real Amon Ra, that Sun God has been relegated to the sidelines, you know, so to speak.
But I mean, shout out to Usher for apparently channeling the Sun God.
Why do they have beef with the Sun God?
Uh, because any god who is not the god of Abraham is bad.
Basically, like, it's Moloch, it's Baal, it's basically any- Is that really all the- all- the best I could come up with was him dancing around on that clock, like, light show thing?
Was- was hippie?
That was the moment.
And is there anything to say about Aleutia Keys on a red piano?
Or, like, him sitting on, like, a throne at the beginning?
Like, and then none of that- none of that triggered anything?
They didn't have anything to say when they came out on roller skates looking like Mega Man characters?
Again, most of their vitriol was at Taylor Swift and Ice Spice.
How many of them were confused as to whether or not that was CeeLo Green when it turned out to be Jermaine Dupri?
Because I'm right there with you, 90% of Americans.
For a brief moment, I was just like, is that fucking CeeLo Green?
I was like, fuck no, Usher, what are you doing?
And then I was like, oh, thank God, that is a person I do not recognize.
And then somebody told me it was Jermaine Dupri, and I was like, Damn, time has not been kind to me.
Like, if time, if 20 years has turned you into a CeeLo Green, then I'm so sorry, Jermaine Dupri.
You have my sympathies.
I'm sure your life is still pretty fucking great, but everybody thought you were CeeLo, dude.
That's not a great look.
And then there was the fucking mystery guy under the helmet, where everyone was just like, is that fucking Will.i.am who's under the helmet?
Is this some random guy?
Like, we don't get it.
Why is everyone on roller skates, actually?
He kind of lost us here.
I'm very disappointed that the only thing they had beef with was the fact that he might have been making an appeal to the Sun God or whatever.
Like, that is suitably crazy, and I do like that it's crazy, but I would really have hoped for more out of him.
Taylor Swift just sucks so much of the oxygen out of this role.
It's like, yeah, sure, the Chiefs are the new Dynasty, but who gives a shit?
Taylor Swift for the sake, you know, shut up.
Yeah, pretty much.
Oh, I didn't see.
Did they give her the trophy?
Did she touch the trophy?
I did not see her touch the trophy on the field.
So, I mean, maybe... A wise decision that people would have made all over themselves.
Did she sacrifice a goat?
In order to influence Kyle Shanahan's horrible decisions over time, yes.
Absolutely.
That's what's in it.
I must have missed that, but I didn't watch it, so...
Really?
You didn't watch the fucking Super Bowl?
How dare you?
You think you're better than us?
I didn't watch... I meant to, and I just couldn't... I couldn't... I tried to force myself to do it, and I was like, you know what?
Nah.
Yeah, uh-huh.
We see how it is.
Next year you're coming over here watching the Super Bowl with us in the freezer.
Or we'll go there in February when it's not freezing here.
It should be here again soon because there's a bunch of contracts with our new stadium that it's going to be here every few years.
Oh yeah, yeah.
They love putting the bowl in Arizona because there's no problem with weather there.
I'll go to you and then you come to me.
We'll figure it out.
Yeah, they love putting in Arizona because there's no conflict with anything else, because why would anything go to Arizona?
My god.
Correct.
If you're one of the good ones in Arizona, I'm sorry that your state is an easy punchy bag and I wish that your elected officials were better.
So, should we get to the mailbag?
Yeah.
No, I just wanted to let that one linger for a while.
No, yeah, let's get to the mailbag.
Our listeners got questions, we got answers.
It's time for Q and A.
Eric, the TSA operative says Senate Republicans are showing their frustration at the extreme elements in the House.
Imagine Mitch McConnell and Mike Johnson agreeing to settle their differences in a duel.
What sort of weapons would they choose, who would be the victor, and how would they celebrate?
It would have to be guns, because any actual fight of strength, Johnson would kill McConnell immediately.
Mitch is in real bad shape.
I mean, we've seen Mitch getting the blue screen of death every so often in front of the cameras.
I mean, that's not great.
So it would have to be firearms, and I still think Mike Johnson would win because he's younger and definitely more agile and has better reflexes.
He would celebrate by praising God for allowing him to slay the vile Satanist who opposed him.
Because they would obviously say that about McConnell afterwards.
Because once you're dead, you're a Satanist in their eyes.
Unless you're a bad person, and then you were a bad person, but you were about to become good, and then they killed you.
The Illuminati got you.
So, yeah.
See, yet another issue... Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to trample you there, Hayley.
No, you go ahead.
I was just about to complain.
Yet another problem with our rapidly aging elected official base.
Like, not even can we get excited about a hypothetical duel because one of the candidates is just the age of a mummy.
And then would just easily, like, they would do their paces, and they would say, turn around and draw, and the spry guy would turn around, and surprisingly, Mitch Mercado would still just be, like, directly behind him, having seemed like he hasn't moved at all, and still isn't facing him, and doesn't even have a gun.
And then he would just get shot 12 times in the back, and that would be that.
It would be just like, oh, this is less of a duel and more of, like, elder abuse, like, you monster.
It's like a no-win scenario.
Sorry.
Anyway, your turn Hayley.
No, no, I was just agreeing with Mike that it should be guns.
I think it should be the original dueling pistols that Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr used against one another.
And because they're ancient, I think that Mike Johnson's gun would jam And he wouldn't be able to shoot at McConnell.
McConnell's gun would shoot, kill Johnson, but he would die of a natural cause heart attack right in that moment, and America would win.
And that's my answer.
I love that the best possible outcome is for both participants to perish.
So yes.
I second your motion.
Oh man, that would be great.
Yes, please do not have the violent end of any political official comedy podcast.
Oh yeah, this is totally just a hypothetical because somebody asked us a question and I'm doing a funny.
El's turn.
No, L already went.
So, yeah.
Okay.
I can't see it.
I can't see it.
That was literally almost like an old school L.
Old school start.
That was an old school start.
L, do a racism!
And throw the racism ball at L. What does it go with?
I bet lightsabers would be pretty sweet.
Can you imagine?
Right, here's the rules of the duel.
Like, there's no backing out of it.
It's literally until one of you is dead.
So, go nuts.
And then, in the course of their flailing, at one point somebody would get lightly dismembered, and then it would set into both of them how dangerous what they were dealing with was, and then they would flail at each other much harder.
Oh, someone had a great photo.
It was like MBS in the foreground and Putin walking towards him, and they just had lightsabers in both their hands.
And then someone else had a comment where they're like, both those lightsabers should be red.
So thank you for the question.
Cleodora Silvestri, the Hellworld Great Inquisitor asks, since we live in the worst timeline that is absolutely batshit crazy, How would a reboot of Daria handle the This Week on Sad Sick World segments with fictional crazy that cannot possibly outdo regular crazy?
I've never seen this show, so I don't...
I don't know, I don't know.
You guys have to do this one.
Is that your way of politely calling us old?
Are you calling us old right now?
No!
I think Adaria came out when I was alive.
When is it, like 90s?
I'm a 90s baby.
When did it come out?
Did you just call it Adaria?
I believe one or more Darias appeared during my lifespan.
It started in... Yeah, it was like a mid-90s thing.
Yeah, 1997.
I was...
Alive.
Yeah, there we go.
Yeah, okay.
Something is that, you know, like, you can always try to be cartoonishly... You can always get more cartoonishly crazy, right?
I mean, just look at the demo, like, horrible stuff that Justin Roiland was improv-ing for the Like, intergalactic cable episodes of Rick and Morty and stuff like that, you know?
Like, pregnant baby and things like that.
Like, you can't go bigger.
It is wacky.
Like, the fact that our real life has caught up to the Sad Sick World segment of Daria is wacky in the same way that, like, our real life catching up to Idiocracy is crazy.
But the problem is that, like, too many people have come to that conclusion and now it just sort of is like...
Before that used to be like a sort of funny observation and now it just sort of is nothing.
It's a idiocracy, am I right?
She's like, yes.
You and hundreds of thousands of other people have made that reference.
It's just like, yeah, it sucks.
Should I watch Daria?
Daria, I can't say if it holds up.
It's been a long time.
I haven't seen Daria since it was airing.
At the time, it was just like, oh, you know, I was receptive to a Daria type.
I was as receptive to being attracted to those cartoon women in that show as I could be, as somebody who's never been especially attracted to cartoon people.
But I was just like, if these people were real people, I would be into these people for sure.
She's got big glasses.
I have big glasses.
Dude, I love big glasses.
I've always been a sucker for that look.
Big combat boots and all that stuff like yeah, I'd like I was into that and also her like friend was like Goth in a way Or, you know, like, alt in a way, I guess, would be a better way to say it.
Anyway, yeah.
There was a lot of good stuff going on in this show in terms of, like, informing what I liked in women at the time.
And it also was just sort of, like, it was a depiction of, like, an archetype of people, like, female people that I had never experienced before.
You know what I mean?
Like, just, like, and stuff like that in Ghost World or whatever gave me a sense... I love Ghost World.
I love Ghost World.
I love that movie.
I love that.
Of course I love Ghost World.
I'm cool.
I'm hip and with it.
How do you do fellow yous?
Etc.
I even know the show that is from.
Look how cool a dip I am.
But yeah, so that is my long-winded answer.
Yeah, I don't know why, but I never watch much of Daria, so I just have to say, sounds good to me from what El said.
Thanks, El!
El's going to have to carry the weight on this one.
So, appreciate that.
Yeah, kind of fucked up for the listener to assume that anybody but me would have any idea what they were talking about.
And even me, I had to think about it for a moment.
I was just like, what the fuck?
Because Daria is sort of a deep cut pole, you know?
Yeah.
Jason Niehaus says, does anyone in the Q-verse talk about the Q Queen of Canada, or is she just another dirty secret they'd rather not acknowledge anymore?
Is she involved in the wider community at all?
You've got the right of it.
She is a dark secret they don't talk about.
She doesn't interact with other QAnon promoters.
She's just running her cult, and that's basically her little fiefdom inside QAnon.
How often do you think about the king until they have cancer?
You don't really hear about the king when important stuff is going down.
They find out they've got cancer.
They're about to die for some other reason.
Or they have died.
Those reasons yeah, yeah, so Yeah, she is much like x-22.
She's not brought up a lot except if people bring her up It's mostly just call her a false flag or a deep state operative to make the make you and on look bad because She's obviously terrible She's encouraging people not to pay their bills and then they get their power turned off or they get like kicked out of their home for not paying rent so basically Everything about her is a net negative, so no one wants to associate with her, so they don't.
And she stands to gain nothing by associating with these other people, because her whole image is that she's the secret ruler of Canada slash the world.
So why would she be associating with Praying Medic or any of these other filthy plebs when she is actually the sovereign ruler of humanity?
That's basically where she stands at this point.
Well, haven't they seen that while the Democrats have Taylor Swift, they have Cat Turd?
This is true.
This is very true.
I mean, man.
Has anybody told the Queen that they have Cat Turd?
Somebody, get on the horn to Canada.
Have they got phones there yet?
I don't know if Canada has phones yet.
Maybe one day.
Maybe Canada can inspire themselves.
Send a carrier bird to Canada to let them know.
Yeah, and so yeah, so she sucks, and she sucks so bad that no one wants to actually associate with her.
That's the long and the short of it.
And finally, Pancake Peasant asks, what setting has the best spaceship names or naming convention?
Bucky O'Hare.
Because the Righteous Indignation beats the shit out of the name of any other spaceship in any other fiction period.
This is very true.
The Wretched Indignation is an incredible name for a ship.
Yes.
Although for the record, I also really liked the naming conventions for the ships in The Matrix.
I think the Nebuchadnezzar is a great name for a ship.
Yeah, I... Babylon 5, I love, but when they named one of the ships the Icarus and it had a disastrous voyage, that was a little too on the nose.
Nobody is actually going to name a ship the Icarus, because they know how that story plays out.
Yeah, exactly.
It's just like, to introduce the spaceship Titanic.
Yes, exactly!
Abso-fucking-lutely-not, dude.
Pushing the thought that superstition is just that to its absolute fucking limits there.
Just being like, you know, we're an advanced space fan society now.
I'm not saying that I believe in superstition, but let's just say I'll wait for the second ship.
All right, guys.
You know? Exactly. Yeah.
Don't worry, I can't answer this one.
No spaceship Haley here. So yes.
No, I have a very spacey name.
My name is Hayley Orion, like the constellation Orion.
Oh, that's cool.
And my parents were clowns and got the spelling of my name wrong, so it technically changes the sound of my name.
Haley's Comet is actually pronounced Hally's Comet because it has two L's.
It's pronounced like Valley Hally.
I'm Haley.
So my parents got that fucking wrong because they changed the spelling of my name.
But Haley Orion's the name.
Space name.
In that case, I'd like to change my answer.
My favorite one is my wonderful co-host Haley.
Haley.
Hally.
Because she's pretty cool.
And finally, what are you guys looking forward to?
You know, that's a dynamite question.
I'm putting together a Magic the Gathering cube for almost nobody, I'm sure, who's listening.
But for the couple of people who know what that is, it's happening, and I'm doing it.
I'm going to do it in small little pieces until my tax money comes, and then I'm going to finish it off in one larger stroke.
Just like jorking it.
Yes.
What are you looking forward to, Hayley?
Oh, you go, because I have a long answer that will kind of lead into the end.
Okay, I am looking forward to, like, I guess as the kids would say, platinuming Hades.
I got back on a Hades kick a couple weeks ago, and I beat a 32 Heat run, which is basically the last achievement you can make in the game.
And it's, like, so difficult, they don't even give you an achievement for it.
I looked at the look it up, and they were like, yeah, Supergiant wanted all the achievements to be attainable by, like, filthy regulars and casuals.
They didn't want the ridiculously difficult achievement to be there.
But uh, so then I was like, oh, so what achievements do I not have?
And so like the last couple of achievements are pretty easy to obtain.
So I'm going to get those and I will like fully have done everything in Hades and then I will just cry in sadness.
I was about to say, are you going to weep like Alexander when you're done with that?
Because you'll have no more Hades to conquer until the second one comes out.
Yeah, pretty much.
You're going to have to find a new thing to get obsessed with.
Right, yeah.
I'm just gonna have to, like, be in the void for, like, two or three months.
You can play Helldivers, too, if the servers aren't crashing and burning.
You can get in there and fucking blow away aliens or whatever.
I'm here for it.
As soon as the servers work, I'll be there.
Sounds good.
Because again, I got probably like another week of like maybe a few days of Hades grinding, achievement grinding, and then I'm done.
So yeah.
Maybe it will finally be time for you to explore Baldur's Gate 3.
Yep.
That's showing up on my YouTube feed now.
I'm getting like Baldur's Gate 3 content just randomly popping up.
That's what the algo is like sending my way.
It's like wild.
It's what happens when one of the greatest video games of all time gets released.
It ends up surfacing on a lot of nerds' radars to just be like, hey, it's here.
The Messiah of games.
That's pretty good.
It's watching other games feed it, so Messiah.
It's Robin Bethesda's Starfield feed.
It's like, oh, don't worry, little buddy.
Don't worry, little buddy.
You're about to stop being platform exclusive and you're going to be going to PS5 and then a bunch of other people are going to play you, little buddy.
Here's a little footbath for you.
Don't worry about that.
Oh god!
That needs to be a Photoshop of other He Gets Us memes.
Okay.
So my answer is kind of long.
This week, I saw Stephanie, aka McPasterface, on Twitter, who is a beautiful human being, and they are a friend of the show.
They have done series with Mike, correct Mike?
Yes.
Dude, not gonna lie, I always thought it was MC Pasteface.
Oh, is it?
I don't know.
I could be wrong.
I don't know.
I thought it was MC Pasteface also.
I'm sorry, I just know them as Stephanie.
I don't know the at.
I'm sorry.
Let's be correct so people can follow her.
It's MC Pasteface.
You're correct.
I am so sorry, Stephanie.
Whoopsie daisy.
Anyway, we saw they were in Arizona for the weekend.
We linked up for a little bit.
It was a great time.
It was nice to see them.
They are a great friend of the pod.
They have done series with Mike.
They also left a note that they wanted me to read on the podcast, which I promised to do.
It's from Toothy.
If you guys know Stephanie, you know Toothy.
And it says, Dear Aunt Haley, I love you.
Great for Valentine's Day.
Love Toothy.
And it says, sorry, they couldn't be here today.
And then they drew a little photo of Toothy.
So that's from Stephanie.
We all love them and we thank them for their support and their love.
And they're a good person.
And if you're a real journalist that listens to the show, Stephanie is a former, as in conspiracy theorist, who has a really interesting story and is a beautiful person all around who loves to talk.
Oh, and my thing I'm looking forward to is that I'm going to go see them next.
expert than you are probably because they lived it. So if you're ever looking
to talk to somebody, Stephanie's the person for you. That is all. We also saw
the bust of JFK randomly for some reason at a park in Tucson and picked his nose
and it was great. So thank you Stephanie. Oh and my thing I'm looking forward to
is that I'm gonna go see them next. That's what I'm looking forward to.
I was wondering how that was eventually gonna turn into a thing you were looking forward to.
Not that the rest of it wasn't beautiful and heartwarming.
But yeah, I was just like, I hope that Hayley remembers to at some point at least pretend to make this a thing that she's excited about instead of just being like, I would like to take up my time to do a rant about a thing.
They've come to see me twice, so I'm going to go see them, and that's what I'm looking forward to is that eventual trip.
Hell yeah.
And that's what I'm looking forward to.
Well, there we go.
A little more wholesomeness there at the end.
We tried to inject a surprising amount of wholesomeness there at the end this year.
I said, yeah, this year!
My god!
Anyway, thank you so much, everybody, for listening to the show.
It is time for us to put our butts on the carpet like a dog and scoot our way out of Hellworld for the week.
I don't know why I went there.
The mind is a mystery.
Thank you so much for listening to the show and supporting us.
If you would like to support us even harder, but still for free, you can do so by giving us a 5-star review wherever you get your podcasts from.
If you have money and you want to give it to us, Lord knows we'll take it.
You can visit our Patreon at patreon.com slash pokerpolitics to take a look at our reward tiers.
We recommend the one that's $5 a month.
That gets you access to all of our bonus content, including our back catalog of bonus content from back when Sarge was still on the show, and our new stuff where Mike and Haley have been Talking a lot about the JFK assassination.
A bunch of wonderful stuff there.
Hellworld after dark.
No, that's not a thing we're doing yet.
Anyway, that's all there at patreon.com slash PokerPolitics.
Thank you so much for all of our beautifuller babies who are already up in the crib.
If you have money and you don't want to donate it to three dickheads doing a podcast on the internet, we totally get that.
There's a bunch of ways to do good with it, but we do suggest love146.org as a way to get that money into some good hands there, an organization whose vision is the end of child trafficking and exploitation.
Thanks to our friend DJ Minimal Effort for the use of our original theme song, accidentally remixed by Mike Raines into what you heard at the top of the show.
Thanks to our buddy Frosty for all of our bumps, our content warning, and the voice of Q whenever you need it.
You can find them on BlueSky at FrostyBO.
You can find the show you're listening to at HellWorld with a Q instead of an O on Twitter.
You can find Haley, aka ArizonaRightWatch, At all sorts of social media.
Just look for Arizona Right Watch or AZRW.
And my brains, of course, at Poker Politics on various social media platforms.
Find them there.
I am on Blue Sky technically, although I don't use it very often.
But if you're interested, you can find me on Blue Sky at Mysterious Al.
So, for another successful episode of the Avengers in Hellworld podcast, I have been one of your hosts, The Mysterious Hell, joined as always by my co-host Haley, aka Arizona Right Watch, and of course our expert in all things QAnon crazy, Mr. Mike Rains, aka Poker and Politics.
