We recorded this right before "The List" was released so enjoy us talking about QAnon doxxing drama, Trump's continuing legal issues, and Aaron Rodgers and Jimmy Kimmel's slap fight. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
| Time | Text |
|---|---|
| You You | |
| You Content Warning. | |
| The Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in depth about QAnon, which means we have to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people. | |
| Listener discretion advised. | |
| Hello, everybody. | |
| I am Mike Rains, a.k.a. | |
| Poker and Politics, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld. | |
| This week, I am joined, as always, by Haley, a.k.a. | |
| Arizona Right Watch. | |
| My mic wouldn't unmute. | |
| Hello, everybody. | |
| Happy Christmas still, because we're still in the 12 days of Christmas. | |
| Today is 10 Lords of Leaping, so happy 10 Lords of Leaping. | |
| Mm hmm. | |
| Yes. | |
| And the mysterious El. | |
| I'm also here, my beautiful babies, and of course Hailey didn't need to mention that it's still Christmas because you just had to look outside. | |
| Everyone is still clearly celebrating Christmas. | |
| They're big fans. | |
| Do you see my legs? | |
| I just watched Mike look out the window. | |
| Mike, did you see a lot of Christmas out there? | |
| Santa Claus still creeping? | |
| Lights right here. | |
| On Christmas in my area, it was 50 degrees out. | |
| We're not even having winter this year. | |
| We are just having a very long fall. | |
| That is all we're having. | |
| And at some ill-defined point during that fall, we celebrated and gave gifts to each other. | |
| And now we are just continuing the fall trend. | |
| I can't wait to be wearing shorts in February and people will be just telling me, there's no such thing as global warming or climate change. | |
| I'm like, I'm wearing shorts in February. | |
| Something is wrong. | |
| That's just- It doesn't count for it is underwater. | |
| I'm wearing shorts in February, and also all of the state of Texas burned to the ground over the summer, so I think you're wrong about that. | |
| They'll be like, no, we have data to show that we're right about it. | |
| Ah, yes, data. | |
| Like, don't get me wrong, I love data when it's used for good, but also, like, you can present anything to someone as data and just, like, that word will just be gone. | |
| It's like if you just, like, flip your wallet really fast in front of somebody and just show them, like, your driver's license or whatever. | |
| Like, you'll trick some amount of people into thinking you're a cop. | |
| It's like, yeah, can I get through here, I'm a cop, and just, like, I mean, granted, that's very illegal, don't do that, but you could probably get away with it in a lot of situations. | |
| Or just put on a high-vis vest, go wherever the fuck you want. | |
| High visibility vest and a hard helmet. | |
| Yeah, excuse me, I need to get to this barricade. | |
| Oh, absolutely, sir. | |
| You're wearing the helmet. | |
| I mean, that's the uniform. | |
| You get to go. | |
| I met Moby one time doing that. | |
| That's not true. | |
| but I could probably. | |
| Yes. | |
| Oh! | |
| I... | |
| Before Haley needled me about it still being Christmas | |
| which it is only to the select few special people | |
| who celebrate Biblical Christmas, I guess. | |
| Uh... | |
| The, uh... | |
| I was... I was sad for Mike Rains. | |
| Very sad. | |
| Because he peaked creatively with whatever two buttons he accidentally hit to turn our intro song into a spacey banger. | |
| I like it more every time I hear it. | |
| I don't know why I keep being surprised by it. | |
| I guess it's because we had our other theme song for almost three years or whatever. | |
| It's also really good. | |
| Yeah, it is really good, but it's really good in a way that you wouldn't expect from just having accidentally mashed a couple of keys. | |
| Again, it still sounds so intentional. | |
| It's got a richness to it, like an NES 8-bit game about space, some barely known Japanese composer who at the time was 20 and just getting out of college, just working his ass off to crush it. | |
| Like the Silver Surfer soundtrack. | |
| Fucking, the Silver Surfer soundtrack for the NES has no possible excuse to go as hard as it does. | |
| Especially the intro theme. | |
| Like the one you see when you're looking at the start menu. | |
| Which is fucking insane. | |
| So crazy. | |
| And it's just like, why? | |
| Nobody's gonna play this, dude. | |
| Like, this is never gonna happen. | |
| Sorry, nobody cares about Silver Surfer. | |
| Not even now, during the peak of surfer culture. | |
| It's like, dude, he's too hard of a sell. | |
| He's a weird alien on a surfboard. | |
| Like, I don't know. | |
| Listeners, if any of you are DJs, you have our permission to throw it in your set. | |
| Remix it, throw it in your set, do anything you want with it. | |
| But if anybody asks you, whoa, where's that song come from? | |
| You tell them. | |
| Yes. | |
| You tell them this weird podcast where we talk about right-wing nutjobs on the internet who think JFK Jr.' 's alive, and then half of the time the people that you say that to will just immediately vanish from your life, or get very angry and start debating you, and that'll be fun. | |
| They'll be like, you know, I don't know man, they have a point. | |
| No, they don't have a point. | |
| You shut the fuck up. | |
| I'm in the trenches, motherfucker. | |
| They do not have a point. | |
| Oh, oh man, I had, we had a, I had a like a something that QAnon would care very much | |
| about happened at my casino this week. | |
| We had a guy in the women's room that was super like bizarre. | |
| Like, basically, this woman just, like, walked over to me and said, there was a man in the women's bathroom. | |
| There he is! | |
| And she started pointing at this guy that was, like, walking through the casino floor. | |
| And we eventually found the guy and grabbed him and talked to him. | |
| And apparently, his reaction was, the men's bathroom was closed and I wasn't going to make it to the other bathroom, so I had to do it. | |
| I feel that. | |
| I use the men's bathroom all the time. | |
| I'm just like, oh this one's gonna be held up and this one's empty? | |
| I'm going in. | |
| I'm not waiting. | |
| This is not... It's the same bathroom. | |
| I don't care. | |
| Yeah. | |
| I mean, yeah. | |
| Oh, my favorite is when there's people that have, like, a family room, like a family bathroom. | |
| It'll be, like, an incredibly terrible men's room, a women's room that I'm not probably, like, supposed to enter, just based on the social constructs. | |
| And then in the middle, there's, like, a family room where I'm also not supposed to be, but I'm just like, look, of the two, I'm going to that one. | |
| Like, I'm just gonna bang into that family bathroom real quick. | |
| I know there's a baby changing thing in there. | |
| I get it. | |
| If anybody's behind me with a baby, I'll apologize on the way out. | |
| But for the time being, I'm tinkling in the toilet. | |
| Like, what the fuck? | |
| That was what was- I can't get to the parking spot. | |
| This will literally be moments. | |
| I will be done in actual moments. | |
| Shut the fuck up. | |
| That's what made it so jarring was the guy apparently didn't see the family bathrooms that were right there and just immediately was like, women's bathroom, only play! | |
| It was just like, oh man. | |
| I mean, if you've actually been a pervert, like, you know, there are a percentage of people that are just perverts and they just want to do perverted things. | |
| Oh, I don't know. | |
| I mean, I have no idea the guy's actual story. | |
| We basically let him off with a warning as it would go. | |
| But the thing that was so funny was security was talking to this woman and An employee walked over to me and was like, what's going on? | |
| And I was like, oh, this guy walked into the woman's bathroom. | |
| And the guy said to me, is he trans? | |
| And I was like, oh my God, they've brain poisoned you people so fucking badly that you just jumped right to that. | |
| Because that's the indoctrination that's been just pumped into the world. | |
| That's all that transgender people want to do. | |
| No, no, no, no, no, no, hey, pump the brakes on there. | |
| Like, granted, I just want to be devil's advocate because sometimes the devil does need to advocate. | |
| You know this person better than I do, so I am sure that that is the proper vibe for that. | |
| But I don't think that universally it is bad for somebody to react to being told that story | |
| by being like, well, is the person trans? | |
| It seems like it might be a valid question, like before you stick security on this person | |
| for coming out of the restroom because they have an Adam's apple, | |
| and you're just like... | |
| Yeah, I actually used the wrong bathroom not that long ago. | |
| And I saw that there was a urinal in there and I'm like, wow, very progressive of this fancy restaurant of them. | |
| And then I go to the bathroom part of it, like the toilet part of it, and then a man comes in. | |
| And I'm like, Oh, I'm in the wrong bathroom. | |
| Wow. | |
| That's awesome. | |
| Oh yeah. | |
| Thank you. | |
| You know what's funny? | |
| It happens. | |
| It happens. | |
| Do you ever get drunk? | |
| Like, a couple years ago, one of the big functions I went to, they converted just all of their restrooms into just all-gender restrooms, like, across the thing. | |
| This is like a huge event. | |
| I mean, they see like 20,000 people over the course of a weekend. | |
| So, like, I was shocked by how not jarring it was. | |
| Don't get me wrong. | |
| I walked in the first time. | |
| I was like, it's time to do this. | |
| I need to use the restroom. | |
| I walked in the first time. | |
| I was a little jarred. | |
| Up front, there were, like, women doing their makeup in there. | |
| Like, guys coming, like, walking away from the urinals and shit. | |
| It was the Wild West in there. | |
| But that was only for, like, a moment. | |
| It was, like, the shortest moment. | |
| Like, as long as it would take for an old-timey switchboard operator to pull out the plug that says, that's weird and plug it into a hole that says, that's fine. | |
| I was just like, oh. | |
| Alright, cool. | |
| And then I did my business and I fucked off because that's what you do in a bathroom anyway. | |
| So like, I don't know. | |
| I just wish everybody else would get over it. | |
| Unless it's like, hey, they're in here with a camera. | |
| Then it's like, okay, cool. | |
| Now we're in fucking Dr. Disrespect territory and that guy's a piece of shit. | |
| Wow, the Dr. Disrespect name drop! | |
| I think it was the first guy that came to mind when it came to people who got publicly fuckin', you know, criticized for filming in a public restroom. | |
| You don't get a lot of those. | |
| Well, I knew his name from other things, I didn't know he had done that, so wow, that makes him even shittier than I knew him to be, so fuck that guy. | |
| That's awesome. | |
| Boom. | |
| I had hated that guy before, and now I can hate him even more, justifiably. | |
| That's great. | |
| Wow. | |
| Well, I mean, let's not forget to chastise you for your unfounded hatred. | |
| Okay, fair. | |
| That's not true. | |
| You're not gonna get any of that from me. | |
| My New Year's resolution is to go a little more dark side, in that I'm learning to embrace the hatred inside of me. | |
| I don't like stuff, and that is fine. | |
| It's perfectly cool for me to not like stuff. | |
| And I'm gonna start getting defensive when people try to tell me it's not. | |
| It's like, hey, I'm not trying to harsh your mellow. | |
| You're entering your grumpy old man phase. | |
| Congratulations. | |
| See, I feel like grumpy... I'm not grumpy, though. | |
| There's just stuff that... You're grumpy. | |
| Again, like, I compartmentalized all this stuff into, like, almost all this stuff into pop culture nonsense, but, you know. | |
| It's okay, grumpy. | |
| I don't think it's grumpy to think that Doctor Who sucks. | |
| I think it's just having good taste, and the people that like it have bad taste. | |
| And it's fine! | |
| We can disagree on that point, and you can think that I'm the one with bad taste, and that's great! | |
| Like, I'm not trying to stop you from watching Doctor Who. | |
| Don't try to stop me from hating it. | |
| I will fight you. | |
| Verbally. | |
| But they brought they brought back one of the old doctors. | |
| It's wild. | |
| It's great. | |
| The only one I liked was Eccleston, which I think is the one that most people liked the least. | |
| So I just don't think Doctor Who is for me. | |
| It was the first one of those that jumped to my head. | |
| There's a lot of them, but... Are you beefing with one of us? | |
| Does Mike like Doctor Who? | |
| No, no, no. | |
| Okay, we're just, we're just hating. | |
| I went for something that didn't seem like it was likely to specifically antagonize either of you. | |
| I don't really care, either way. | |
| You can tell me that you hate punk music and I'll be like, okay. | |
| I do hate most punk music. | |
| As a punk fan, I think it's appropriate to hate most of it. | |
| Because punks, there's a lot of output and a lot of it sucks on purpose. | |
| Punks. | |
| Yes! | |
| Okay, sorry. | |
| I apologize for shorthanding people who happen to like a wide spectrum of punk music. | |
| Because I wouldn't consider people that like specifically... | |
| Top 40 pop punk or whatever to be part of that scene, but they are listening to the music. | |
| So, you know, you tell me what punk is. | |
| Leave it to a fucking punk kid to be like, oh yeah, it's a quote unquote punk label, man. | |
| It's so uncool. | |
| Get the fuck over here. | |
| Sorry. | |
| Now I am antagonizing you. | |
| I'm punchy. | |
| Let's fucking go. | |
| No, no, no, no. | |
| The boosh segment's actually running a little bit long. | |
| Yeah, speaking of top 40 punk, let's get into the moose boosh. | |
| It's time for a light sampling of insanity. | |
| Get ready for the amuse-bouche. | |
| I like that Hayley got in there and scooped that one up. | |
| That was perfect. | |
| That was how French basketball is called. | |
| Allez-oup. | |
| Anyway. | |
| Yeah, so bouche topic number one. | |
| We're talking about Green Day for some fucking reason. | |
| Because apparently Green Day is a political band now all of a sudden. | |
| So weird. | |
| So crazy. | |
| Yes. | |
| So, Green Day updated a lyric from American Idiot to be declaring that they're not a part of a MAGA agenda, and this made all sorts of right-wingers very upset and very sad. | |
| What was the original fascist agenda? | |
| I believe it was like an idiot agenda or redneck agenda. | |
| Who did conservatives that liked this song previously think the American idiot was? | |
| When they were criticizing George, when they were criticizing W. Bush, I believe that was | |
| the original lyric. | |
| Who did conservatives that liked this song previously think the American idiot was? | |
| Biden and Obama and Hillary Clinton. | |
| I guess. | |
| I mean, that would be a pretty tough read from those lyrics, but I guess it's the same people who never knew that Rage Against the Machine was like... They're like, yeah, we love it! | |
| It's just like, dude, when you vote, you're supporting the machine we hate. | |
| They're like, boo, keep your politics out of our music, man. | |
| Boo! | |
| That was literally what Elon said. | |
| He made a rage against the machine, more like rage for the machine joke on Twitter about the Green Day thing. | |
| Not even an original joke, not even coming up with a Green Day specific joke. | |
| This is also the same guy who said he was dressed like Blade Runner or whatever, right? | |
| He sees a thing, he thinks he knows enough about it to speak to it on his massive platform that he paid $44 billion for, and because it's his, he gets to do that. | |
| People that continue to use that platform get to listen to it. | |
| I don't. | |
| But since I use BlueSky, I still get to listen to it! | |
| Thanks fucking BlueSky! | |
| What a platform! | |
| Love it. | |
| Every day I get a little closer to just straight up deleting it. | |
| It's literally just people reposting X posts. | |
| I fucking hate it so much. | |
| They're just like, dude, Elon sucks. | |
| Let me retweet him on a different platform to boost his signal. | |
| And they're just like, how about you just leave the original? | |
| Anyway, sorry. | |
| I'm about to fucking go off. | |
| Okay. | |
| You can be mad. | |
| You can be mad. | |
| Yeah. | |
| So yeah, as Elle was saying, is that this is what's so funny about this was that the original song was criticizing Republicans. | |
| Now they're updating it to criticize today's Republicans. | |
| And these people are reacting to it like, I can't believe this stuff. | |
| And my favorite part about this is listening to people being like, Green Day was supposed to be a punk band, but now they're backing the establishment. | |
| And I just listened to that and I think to myself, do you guys remember how QAnon started? | |
| It was literally a troll on 4chan posting shit like, yo man, the president's about to kick all kinds of ass. | |
| QAnon is like the most ultimate establishment movement in the world. | |
| It was all about the president being super awesome and incredible and he was going to kick all your enemies' butts and he was going to win. | |
| They literally want a fascist establishment to kill us all. | |
| That's the end goal. | |
| That is it. | |
| They want the military and Trump to kill us, and that's kind of, it's a pretty establishment. | |
| Yeah, I want an authoritarian... It's up for white supremacy too, it's just like the most, it's just the most establishment. | |
| Yeah, dude, you can't, you can't like, fuck it, you can't like Green Day and also like that song Try That in a Small Town. | |
| That guy is thinking about being big bad about people. | |
| Like, spitting in the cop's face! | |
| It's like, yeah. | |
| I mean, yeah. | |
| That is what punk is. | |
| People that traditionally fuck with punk music would be, I would say, more inclined to spit in a police officer's face than less inclined. | |
| But maybe that's just my personal experience. | |
| I don't know. | |
| Punch a Nazi! | |
| Try that in a small town! | |
| Well, I wouldn't, because in a small town, you guys would probably defend the Nazi in a small town. | |
| In my big city, when you punch a Nazi, you get brofists and high fives from people. | |
| You go viral on social media. | |
| Shout out small town anti-fascists. | |
| Punch a Nazi. | |
| Yeah, I mean, the ones that are punching fascists in towns where that's, like, not cool still for some reason. | |
| Or for the first time ever, considering, like, you know, America as we know it was built post-World War II, where we really hated Nazis anyway. | |
| Like, you know, the people that are doing the Lord's work out there, you're really holding the torch, you know? | |
| It's a lot easier for us to punch Nazis in the big city. | |
| But not the tiki torch. | |
| I guess. | |
| I mean, hey, we can reclaim the tiki torch. | |
| That's true, reclaim the tiki torch. | |
| It's ours. | |
| They get rid of mosquitoes. | |
| Beat a fascist with it. | |
| Go viral. | |
| Yes. | |
| Comedy show, not an actual suggestion. | |
| Comedy. | |
| But, if you ever came to a conclusion on yourself about what to do with your tiki torches now that you can't just, like Bran just said, because white supremacist, well, two birds with one stone. | |
| Take a stand both ways. | |
| Get rid of mosquitoes. | |
| Oh, yeah. | |
| Yeah. | |
| You can tiki torch the fucking Wardoff bloodsuckers by beating them with it. | |
| That's how they work. | |
| You're supposed to just wave them at the mosquitoes. | |
| Anyway. | |
| Yes. | |
| Find your local blast furnace and beat them with torches. | |
| Yes! | |
| I'm sorry, I'm- I- I- I have an all-hearted agreement with this. | |
| But again, comedy show. | |
| What's great about this is we're going to become the modern-day Ray Epps of this whole thing. | |
| It's like, these guys said a thing, and then it happened, so they're deep state, and bargo, bargo. | |
| And it's like, no, we just don't like Nazis. | |
| That's really what this is about. | |
| I'd rather be the modern-day Omar Epps. | |
| Can I do that? | |
| Yes. | |
| If I get to choose an Epps, can I be that? | |
| We'll be talking more about apps later. | |
| Anyway, but not now. | |
| So, Mike gave me a bit of cheery question mark asterisk news for our next Boost topic, which is to say that QAnon, they finally came around on my thinking regarding poor, dearly departed, rest in power queen, Janet Oh. | |
| So, Mike, what are the hot takes on the Janet Oh death now? | |
| Now that they finally realize that it's Clinton. | |
| It's always been Clinton. | |
| Astronaut with a gun always has been. | |
| Yeah, so they finally got on this, and the best reaction to the whole Janet O. death was Liz Crokan, who's going to be coming up in the headlines as well. | |
| She decided to do what you... When you hear about the tragic passing of somebody else in your movement, the best thing you can possibly do is make it all about yourself. | |
| That's really how you show empathy and concern for the tragic passing of someone. | |
| And Liz posted, yes, I've seen this, in quote tweeting someone else about Janet O's passing away. | |
| There have been conflicting reports on this for several days now. | |
| I will wait to comment on this. | |
| But no, I'm not scared! | |
| And yes, I will continue to expose Pizzagate, no matter what. | |
| The only people who should be scared are the people that I've been exposing for the past seven plus years. | |
| And guess what? | |
| They are! | |
| I just love that this poor woman, this troubled woman, committed suicide. | |
| And immediately, this Krogan's like, yeah, Janet O got Arkansas-ed, but they won't get me. | |
| And I dare them to try, because I'm the one bringing truth to power. | |
| I'm the one who's going to bring this house of cards crumbling down. | |
| If she posts this after our last episode, is there a chance that she hate-listens to us and she was just like, you know, Mysterious Elle has a point. | |
| This is pretty shitty biz. | |
| Croak and Rich have... hair bumps. | |
| Yes. | |
| I bet Croak gets a lot cheaper on Cameo than Rudy is. | |
| I bet she's not even on Cameo, but if she was, oh my god, that'd be hilarious. | |
| Nah, dude, I'm just trying to, like, be her liberal mistake, you know? | |
| Anyway. | |
| I have no idea who this person is or what she looks like, so... | |
| Oh, yeah. | |
| But yeah, so that was basically she was like the headliner of all these things. | |
| And of course, there were more people who were like, I don't know if she's really dead or not, that like the white hats have like taken Janet off the grid to protect her. | |
| And then down the line, when after the storm has happened, Janet will be returned to society to be a prophet, to preach the good word for us. | |
| And I think that when they're pointed at the top with little holes cut out of their hoods, I think those are white hoods. | |
| Yes. | |
| Well, okay, I mean, so, yeah, like, honestly, as listeners who were around for last week's episode heard, I was pretty surprised that QAnon didn't immediately seal. | |
| I mean, how is it possible that whenever one of their own, like, passes, especially via, like, you know, unaliving themselves or whatever, like, what the, like, what are you, how are you, Like, it seems incongruous with their movement to just sort of let that slide. | |
| Like, that seems like the sort of thing where you have to seize upon it and just be like, this! | |
| We can work this into the mythology! | |
| They knew too much! | |
| Like, the SD logs were coming out, and it was gonna blow the doors off or whatever, so boom! | |
| Like, you know, but... | |
| That would be, that would be QAnon doing a thing. | |
| And now that QAnon has just sort of become Republicans, like, you know what I mean? | |
| It's like, the line got so blurry that like, now they don't really have to do, they don't really have to do QAnon related stuff to keep the movement going. | |
| They just have to do general culture war stuff. | |
| They'll be like, we found a textbook that said slavery was bad, get them! | |
| And it's like, oh, okay. | |
| Yeah, that was... oh my god. | |
| That's another thing, you know what? | |
| We didn't have it in the bush, but I'm sliding it in here. | |
| Because that's a weird other thing that became contentious this week all of a sudden. | |
| What was the Civil War about? | |
| The Civil War... I wonder what... There were a lot of hot-button issues at play there. | |
| But if I had to guess, I would say slavery. | |
| Probably the most important one. | |
| Yeah, that was pretty awesome that Nikki Haley decided to absolutely butcher that question on the campaign trail. | |
| And this led to... What's really funny is that this leads to so many people just crawling out of the woodwork to do the whole, well, she was right because slavery wasn't the reason why... And it's just like, shut up. | |
| You, you all know what you're doing. | |
| You're all parroting the lost cause. | |
| You're all trying to pretend that the South had some magnanimous reason for doing what they did and not just being about owning human beings, which spoiler alert, that's what they were doing. | |
| That's what they said they were doing. | |
| And you just had this, this argobargle about that. | |
| And I saw a lot of War of Northern Aggression shit online and all that kind of stuff. | |
| And we'll try it again, champs. | |
| Give it another go. | |
| I've always said, you know, you guys have always been really smart and good at wars. | |
| So go ahead and try again, Chief. | |
| Anytime you want to scrap. | |
| Jones will be having a real quick fight. | |
| That fight will last not very long. | |
| Yeah, and then we had I saw some really weird like leftist Twitter commentary on the Civil War that like the 13th Amendment because the 13th Amendment is like basically slavery is abolished. | |
| Unless you've been convicted of a crime and then like that can be a thing that happened because that was like commonplace in back in those days was that that was a punishment for you having to work as a result of being jailed was part of the system. | |
| And these people are now trying to pretend that the North didn't abolish slavery in the | |
| Civil War. | |
| This was a cunning way to trick people into thinking they were abolitionists when they | |
| weren't. | |
| And it's like, you do realize that the South had to be forced into accepting the 13th Amendment | |
| at the point of a gun because they knew what it did. | |
| And then we passed the 14th and 15th Amendments on top of that to further cement that equal | |
| rights were being given to the black Americans. | |
| And this was the way it was going to be. | |
| And these people were like, nope, America's always sucked. | |
| We've had slavery this whole time. | |
| We don't really need to belabor the point. | |
| The last thing I will say about it is just, you know, like, they don't disagree that slavery happened, because there's a lot of evidence to the fact that it did. | |
| So obviously they couldn't gaslight us into just being like, what's slavery? | |
| You know, not on home soil. | |
| They're happy to do that with the Holocaust, but not on home soil. | |
| It's a lot harder to sell. | |
| So they are just like, well, yeah, so the slavery thing happened, but Our real grievance was something else, and it's just like, okay, well, so the people that support that now, so it's just like, so you're saying that whatever that grievance was had more value than the slavery, and when the two things were like, we're angry about stuff, you want us to just be like, this is the thing we're angry about the most, the slavery thing we're mostly cool with, like, you know, slavery, you know, take it or leave it, am I right? | |
| Yeah, okay. | |
| I don't think so. | |
| So that tells me that with slavery's on the ballot, it's like the number one issue, but Maybe that's just me. | |
| Let's moving on to, let's moving, let's big movings on to next news topic. | |
| Or boosh topic, as it were, which is a little bit of infighting between our good friends. | |
| Enter the Matrix, or what is it? | |
| Yep, you got it right. | |
| Into the Matrix. | |
| I knew it was something, the Matrix, but I couldn't tell. | |
| I thought this was a sports thing. | |
| Greater QAnon. | |
| No, in our show notes, I made a dumb theater joke. | |
| And tricked Hayley. | |
| But no, this is about Enter the Matrix and greater QAnon having a little bit of a dust-up, I guess. | |
| So, Mike, what's going on with our favorite billed guy, am I right? | |
| So, Bill, Matrix, love it. | |
| So, for those of you who have to be brought to speed on this silliness, In the Matrix and his buddy Spooky Groove and their buddy The Authority, all people with incredibly cool names, the coolest names, the three of them have created this offshoot branch of QAnon where they hate Michael Flynn and they hate Roger Stone and they basically hate everyone who isn't Donald Trump exclusively. | |
| And because a lot of the grifter community is very much in favor of this, these people, this has led to a massive like, falling out and a lot of like slap fighting and arguing. | |
| And recently, Matrix has decided to just kind of go on a doxing spree. | |
| The main person who was the victim of this was the guy who runs QAG. | |
| Yeah. | |
| So, uh, the guy who runs QAG, which is qag.news, which for all your hot decodes and baking and all that kind of nonsense, he posted a mugshot of QAG and probably like, I, I avoided getting too deep into the docs. | |
| I don't want to know. | |
| I don't care about this stuff to know people's names and shit, but. | |
| Basically, he exposed a mugshot of this guy. | |
| He told us who he was. | |
| He had been arrested for a crime. | |
| This led to QAG posting on Twitter about what happened and how he wasn't convicted of anything. | |
| He was in a bad relationship and yada yada. | |
| This lady done did things to him that led to him going down a dark path. | |
| And then on top of this, AwakendOutlaw, who's a guy that we have talked about on the show a lot, he apparently was partially doxed or they attempted to dox him. | |
| They gave out his first name. | |
| Another guy who is a crank who basically doesn't believe that viruses exist and thinks that all your problems are caused by parasites and he sells like an Ivermectin and other combo platter of quackery. | |
| His Twitter handle's like, theparasiteguy, I think? | |
| That guy got caught in the mix-up of this doxxing as well, and so now a lot of the anonymous or pseudo-anonymous QAnon people are furious with Matrix and his crew. | |
| They're like, If you want to be private on the internet, that's your right and no one should have to out you and this doxxing shit is totally unacceptable and I would like all of you to apologize to me and the attempted doxxings that I have been on the receiving end of because I don't apparently have a right to privacy according to QAnon. | |
| A couple nights ago I was DM'd by someone who said they were sending me to a hunter's forum to find out about me because I quote-unquote have to be a pedophile because I defend this stuff, so that was very exciting. | |
| But yeah, so, and meanwhile the Authority is responding to all this as anger by saying, you guys are making this real easy for my lawyer, so... | |
| Please sue each other. | |
| Please, for the love of God, make this go to the courts. | |
| It'd be the greatest thing in the world if these people actually went to litigation to fight each other over whatever it is they think they're doing to each other. | |
| Because it's just, it's just clowns. | |
| It's just clowns having a clown fight because They're arguing over a fake religion that they've created in the last few years. | |
| And they're like, Michael Flynn is an agent of God. | |
| It's like, no, Michael Flynn is an agent of the devil. | |
| It's like, really? | |
| We're already having Protestant Catholic schisms in QAnon? | |
| I mean, it's just, it's so wild. | |
| It's just the most ridiculous thing. | |
| Oh, the last big payoff I saw was Matrix got press passes to a Trump rally recently. | |
| And he was like, Hey, everybody, guess who gets to go to Trump rallies as a member of the press? | |
| And he like tagged like a million QAnon people and he was like, let's see any of you pass the pass. | |
| background check to get a press pass. Boom. How you like them apples? And then Liz Crokan was | |
| like, I've been on stage with Trump. I've talked to him personally. I'm like way bigger than you. | |
| Shut the fuck up, matrix. Boom. And it's just like, oh my God, really? You're like Liz Crokan | |
| dunk on you. Yes. Just absolutely. Just absolutely big footed him. | |
| It was so ridiculous. | |
| So yeah, so that's where we're at. | |
| It's just a giant, bizarre QAnon dick waving contest. | |
| And they're all having a great time getting mad at each other over just is my military daddy good or bad. | |
| And Mike, have you ever considered Going to one of these things, just like wearing a, like wearing a disguise, going to one of these things, and just having a panel that's just, I'm Mike Rance, fight me right now. | |
| And just like, on stage, just get into an argument with these people, like live. | |
| That seems like it might be the ultimate high for you, man. | |
| I might do it with security, but... Like, I'm the opposition, but I'll come to your home field, and I'll fucking get on this stage, and I'll just sit politely... I'll just sit politely at a desk, and I'll just unfurl the banner that says, QAnon sucks shit, you're all dumb fucks, change my mind. | |
| And then you can just yell at Mike Raines for an hour. | |
| Oh, I would be glad to do that. | |
| If there was ever a QAnon conference or anything, just put two big beefy dudes on either side of me at the desk, and I will just sit there, and I will argue with people all day long. | |
| One of my other friends, Elle would absolutely agree, I think Elle had the same sentiments as my other friend did, but One of my friends said to me a million years ago when I started my Twitter account, he said, thank God you found Twitter. | |
| Now you can have what you've always wanted. | |
| You can be in any argument 24-7. | |
| And I was just like, yeah, that's about right. | |
| That's about how I am. | |
| Yeah, I mean, I've often said that. | |
| I've often said this about you. | |
| You do just love fighting idiots. | |
| Fight them live. | |
| Like, get a parent's fee for fighting them. | |
| Just show up, show up. | |
| Because, and you know, they'll frame it as just being like, oh, get some shots in on QAnon's favorite punching bag, Mike Rains! | |
| But you'll just be out there just being like, no, you fucked wrong, you're stupid. | |
| Like, here's why, here's sources. | |
| Do your own research, you fucks. | |
| The dream. | |
| It's also pretty stupid, I guess. | |
| It's also pretty stupid. | |
| And the best part about that is they would totally disown the person that assassinated me. | |
| They'd be like, false flag! | |
| Deep state! | |
| Antifa! | |
| It was probably Elle. | |
| Exactly. | |
| And everybody would be like, who? | |
| And I'd slink away from the crowd all sad that I didn't get any of it going. | |
| One thing I wanted to throw in real quick. | |
| Yeah. | |
| One thing I wanted to throw in real quick. | |
| It's Arizona time. | |
| It better be safe. | |
| It's going to be real quick though. | |
| It was just, me and Al got into a car accident a million years ago. | |
| And I just remember like after the car accident happened, El was explaining it to someone where he was just like, yeah, after the accident, we were all jeeped up. | |
| We all had to calm down. | |
| I just ripped a couple of butts, just had to relax. | |
| Mike was arguing with some Christians or something, whatever it is he does to relieve stress. | |
| I just remember that being your way to describe how I coped with what happened in the car accident. | |
| I don't remember that, but I could totally see you like on like a fucking flip phone or some sort of giant ancient brick of a fucking iPhone or whatever, just frantically tweeting through the adrenaline. | |
| Yes. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Anyway, now it's time for Arizona, our Arizona special featuring Haley, Arizona Right Watch, who this week apparently was doing some World War Two coverage. | |
| What? | |
| I'm so confused. | |
| Mm hmm. | |
| Yep. | |
| I flew back in time, listeners, to That's not true. | |
| In that era, they would never let a woman fly. | |
| It was the era of the sky gods! | |
| He's actually a Vietnam vet, the guy. | |
| So, this story started to blow up on right-wing channels, including like explicit white supremacists. | |
| News, so-called news channels that I sometimes follow for research purposes. | |
| And I dug into this story a bit and found that our local news had covered it about a month before the white supremacists picked it up. | |
| And I think you'll see why the white supremacists kind of love this guy. | |
| So, uh, the director of Arizona's Military Museum, uh, his name is Joe Abodele? | |
| I don't know if I'm pronouncing that right, but I don't care. | |
| Um, he got in trouble, uh, back in February because during a tour he said, he complained that eventually that they were gonna replace him with some gay black woman woke Jew who will ruin this place. | |
| And some people complained, obviously. | |
| They were like, hey, that wasn't that wasn't cool, man. | |
| So he was forced to go through diversity, equity and inclusion training, and he went through his like 30 day mandatory and got a plaque. | |
| Which he put next to his warning politically incorrect rampant insensitivity authorized sign in his office at the Arizona Military Museum. | |
| Um, so the board of the Arizona Military Museum was like, all right, we're ousting, we're voting this guy out. | |
| Um, cause he refused to, they were like, sir, can you resign? | |
| You know, it's time for you to go. | |
| And he's like, I'm not leaving. | |
| So the board voted him down and he went completely rogue and, uh, appointed his own board and refused to leave. | |
| The position. | |
| And he said what was happening to him was a coup, which is kind of funny because I think that's what he was actually doing. | |
| So the museum is currently closed because of what's been going on. | |
| And they're gonna reopen once they can find a new director. | |
| Um and yeah so I'm looking into this guy and there's a bunch of there's a bunch of Nazi flags all over this museum and it kind of makes you wonder like hmm what's up with this guy and the AZ sent the Arizona Republic that's like our paper of record here that covered him uh When this all about a month ago, they did not like they didn't they didn't they didn't really get into this guy too much. | |
| They they were just kind of like waving what he said away kind of as like, oh, it's a war of words. | |
| And they're like, you know. | |
| They're punishing an old man who doesn't know what he's saying kind of thing. | |
| But then he, in the article, it says like he calls the reporter a slur. | |
| While she's interviewing him. | |
| And so, anyways, I looked on his Facebook because I'm like, okay, what's up with this guy? | |
| He's got to have some crazy racist shit on his Facebook. | |
| And, you know, he does, but it's not in the way that you would likely think. | |
| He's actually a big liberal. | |
| Who really hates Trump. | |
| And, um, he made a post on the, a couple of days after the insurrection that Mike, I sent it to you. | |
| What, do you want to prep the audience for this one? | |
| Oh, he, this guy is just adamantly anti-insurrection and you people that attack the Capitol are wrong, bad, and I hate you. | |
| They're vandals. | |
| He kind of predicts that like, like a lot of these people are going to get away with it because their positions in power. | |
| And like he, he, he, he says, this is about Republicans, you know, who, and, and, uh, the, the people who stoke racism and, you know, it's a bunch of that. | |
| It's a big old long. | |
| Big ol' long thing. | |
| And then at the end, I cannot... Yeah, we cannot say any of the words at the end because they are all unbelievably racist slurs. | |
| At the end, let's see, where should I start? | |
| He said, we'll start here. | |
| What this whole Trump fiasco has shown is how divided our country is. | |
| It's not about economics or politics or ideology or the haves and have-nots. | |
| It's clearly about race. | |
| These domestic terrorists who stormed the Capitol, The halls of Congress were not concerned about the Constitution. | |
| They simply do not like, and he says this on Facebook, N-words, slur for Hispanic people, sand N-words, and slur for Jewish people. | |
| And then he says, those people are simply ignorant, despicable racists, and their actions have brought the race issue to the forefront. | |
| It took a racist president and supporters to do it. | |
| And then he signs off on his name. | |
| I'm so confused. | |
| Yes, it's so bizarre! | |
| In my head, I was just like, oh, nice, I'll wait for this guy to say his surprisingly liberal thing, and then I'll get in there with my fun punchline. | |
| Yeah, but then he signed it off like, these conservatives are acting like a bunch of trans black Jews! | |
| And what he said was so much worse. | |
| Yeah, like, the reality was so much worse than that, because he just used all the slurs. | |
| He used all the slurs. | |
| That I would never use for a punchline. | |
| Like, it was a part of me when Hayley was like finishing that sentence. | |
| I'm like, don't say any of these things! | |
| Stop! | |
| I'm not even sure it was okay to say stand in that context. | |
| Yeah, you know, it's... I honestly... yeah, you're right. | |
| I... Although I feel like if you said S-word and word, it would really confuse people. | |
| Yeah, I guess. | |
| It was. | |
| Good lord. | |
| It's like... | |
| Yeah. | |
| So that was the story of the man that was ousted. | |
| I think it's fair that he was ousted. | |
| I think the Arizona Republic was a little bit... they weren't harsh enough, honestly. | |
| If a Republican said this, I think we would say it for what it is. | |
| This man is incredibly white supremacist and racist. | |
| So yeah, I think it's fair that he lost his job. | |
| It's time to step down, Mr. Abodili. | |
| But is he just like a self-hating racist? | |
| It's like these domestic terrorists, it wasn't about anything except for the fact that they don't like the following list of slurs. | |
| He had anti-Trump memes on his page. | |
| He seems to at least be a pretty big anti-Trump guy. | |
| You know, Poker made a joke, Mike made a joke, he's the RFK 2024 guy, which I agree, that's probably true. | |
| That is kind of the energy a lot of the... | |
| Okay, well that's hilarious. | |
| I made a couple of notes that I just wanted to get to before we segue away from this bit, which honestly has been one of my favorite Arizona bits so far because it's just so bizarre. | |
| It's like the office level bizarre. | |
| I think it's ironic that this military museum is shut down currently because of this fracas because if anyone on the shadow board of directors or the lead guy like brandished a firearm, it would literally be a military junta. | |
| He would just be like, no motherfuckers, I'm in charge. | |
| So I think it's pretty funny. | |
| I think the museum should be more open than ever, and they should just make it an exhibit. | |
| They should! | |
| Let this play out. | |
| I've never considered how, if you were a Nazi, and you're bumped out that you can't display your memorabilia, then working in a World War II museum is like incredible camouflage for you just like a perfect like nailed it like perfect like look I hate your guts and I think you're a piece of shit and like I would punch you uh if I could which I can't because of proximity | |
| But that being said, if you have this weird compulsion to have this shit up, World War II Museum is where you should do that. | |
| At the very least, you could use it as an educational tool. | |
| I hope he's a self-hating white supremacist. | |
| I hope he gets to them and he's just like, ah, these guys suck. | |
| The Nazis, they're fucking awful. | |
| I hate them. | |
| I am one. | |
| We are horrible. | |
| I encourage you to hate all of us, even though, for whatever reason, I am still one of them. | |
| Vote Kennedy. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Vote Kennedy. | |
| Kennedy 2024. | |
| We're going to the moon. | |
| That's how he ends it. | |
| Then he signs his name off. | |
| He's so bizarre. | |
| Anyway, that's Arizona for ya. | |
| Yeah, the part where he's talking about the the motives behind World War Two is really great, because it's just like, there are a lot of factors at play that determined the conflict of World War Two, but what it really came down to is that the Nazis didn't like a list of slurs as long as the arm could see! | |
| Slurs you don't even say anymore. | |
| It's like, what are some of these slurs? | |
| Just a bunch of people getting their white guilt trigger just sweating nervously on this tour. | |
| This guy just says every word they can't possibly say. | |
| Except for a couple of guys who are pumping their fists in the back. | |
| The other guys have got dip in their lip. | |
| They're like, yeah, fuck yeah. | |
| Anyway. | |
| Yeah, he said he made one of the soldiers with his hand on his hip to represent gay soldiers. | |
| That's literally what he said. | |
| I know, it's like, what? | |
| He posed the mannequin gaily to represent gay people. | |
| Some of the best men I ever served worth was Lista Slicks. | |
| Yeah! | |
| This guy! | |
| Stop it! | |
| Stop it, guys! | |
| I believe in equal rights! | |
| I love all of my fellow and then like the slurs and you're just like, fellow? | |
| That makes it so much worse! | |
| Anyway. | |
| Alright. | |
| Easily my favorite Arizona segment because this guy just, he's so funny. | |
| I love this guy. | |
| Sorry, I hate this guy. | |
| He's a Nazi or whatever. | |
| Let's move on to our headline news segment. | |
| From the digital headlines to the digital front lines, it's Q's in the News. | |
| It's nice that Bump gives me time to compose myself. | |
| Especially because it's time for my enthusiasm to stick like a fucking stone. | |
| Because, of course, we have to talk about Donald Trump every fucking week for the rest of our lives until we die or he does. | |
| He will. | |
| Probably first. | |
| Hopefully. | |
| Please him. | |
| Please let it be him. | |
| I have to go to the funeral. | |
| I have to go to the... | |
| That would be, that's our big road trip. | |
| That's our next big road trip. | |
| That's when we'll all meet, finally. | |
| I will remind you that your last big field trip idea was literally January 6th. | |
| You were proposing that we try to drive down to that from where we were at the time. | |
| And I was just like, that sounds like a lot of work and I don't want to do it. | |
| And I'm glad that I had that impulse because it ended up going tits up. | |
| Yes. | |
| We go to the Trump funeral and it's like, it's January 6th on steroids. | |
| Like so many people go to protest his funeral. | |
| It leads to just like an accident. | |
| We would have got swept up in the big fucking crush of people like storming and there'd just be like thousands of images and fucking like video clips of us just in the crowd getting jostled around so it looks like we're really enthusiastic. | |
| We give them thumbs up. | |
| At one point one of us would have seen like what looked like a fire breakout. | |
| So we grabbed a fire extinguisher and just raising it above our heads to try to get to the fire. | |
| I'm just pointing out all the legislators I see rioting in the crowd. | |
| One of us has a gun. | |
| Wait, what? | |
| I was holding it for a guy. | |
| He fell. | |
| He fell, he dropped his gun, I picked it up to give it back to him. | |
| I was like, oh god, that gun on the ground is dangerous, and I picked it up, and then I didn't want the crowd to jostle it, so I lifted it up and pointed it towards the building. | |
| Okay, anyway, Trump stuff. | |
| This segment's better. | |
| So, our boy Trump, after his audience celebrated their big victory in Michigan, because Michigan said they were not taking him off the ballot, this was followed almost immediately by finding out that Maine had declared, we are taking Trump off the ballot. | |
| And so, if the Supreme Court was hoping they could duck this shit, no, not so much. | |
| Enjoy. | |
| Wait a minute, when did the Maine thing happen? | |
| I didn't even hear about that. | |
| Trump got taken out of the Maine ballot too? | |
| Yep, late last week. | |
| Maine was just like, we've, yep, yeah, we looked it over. | |
| Maine was like, we looked it over, and he's an insurrectionist, not allowed on the ballot, just crossing Trump out. | |
| So yeah, and of course, everyone started screaming bloody murder about that, and the Maine Secretary of State doing that was totally unacceptable, blah, blah, blah. | |
| So yeah, so now we are We will be getting a Supreme Court decision about this probably in the next week or two about if Trump's allowed to be on because I do remember Colorado saying that basically Trump was going to be allowed back on the ballot unless the Supreme Court like stepped in before January 4th, which is tomorrow. | |
| So I'm guessing the rubber is going to meet the road on this stuff pretty quickly. | |
| And so all of that's going on. | |
| And while that kerfuffle about Trump's eligibility to be president is being determined, On top of that, he has filed his final brief about having total immunity in the January 6th case in D.C. | |
| And basically, the brief that was filed is literal just throwing shit at a wall. | |
| There is sections of the brief that reference posts he's made on Truth Social. | |
| So literally his lawyers are arguing that the things Trump is saying on social media are legally binding and that these are representative of our argument in our case. | |
| And we've got this. | |
| And it also repeatedly lists a unsourced claim about election fraud in Georgia. | |
| One of the people that I've been following, they pointed out that some of the numbers that appear to be coming up from this thing, which again have no sourcing in the brief, some of those numbers appear to be coming from True the Vote of 2000 Mules fame, and that Trump is just grabbing their horseshit and throwing it into the mix. | |
| To scream that he was right to do the things that he did because all these days were stolen from him illegally via the human mule and all kinds of other monsters that were out to get him on election day in 2020. | |
| So, most people expect him to lose. | |
| He's going to lose the DC thing. | |
| And the one big thing that came up beyond that was that Jack Smith was like, BT dubs. | |
| After he loses this, Well, let's please have the appeals be heard after the case, because we all know what he's doing, wink wink, about these appeals and what he's trying to do with the court cases. | |
| And so let's just stop him on that front. | |
| So that little game of chess continues to be played. | |
| And so that's going to be very interesting to see how that works out. | |
| Uh, vis-a-vis when this whole dog and pony show ends and when Trump's trial in DC begins, which is again, supposed to start on March 4th. | |
| We will see how that shakes out. | |
| Did you see that there's like Republican lawmakers who are planning to file legislation that would remove Biden from the ballot? | |
| Oh yeah, obviously. | |
| There's some Arizona fuck who's part of this, of course. | |
| His name's Cory McGarr. | |
| He's a new guy. | |
| We always have new guys and it's like a new character you're gonna have to learn because this guy's a piece of shit and he's a loudmouth, extreme as fuck. | |
| So everybody get used to that name probably because he's one of those guys. | |
| That's my addition to this. | |
| I love the Arizona QAnon conspiracy cinematic universe just grows every week. | |
| It constantly grows. | |
| We just have more nutbags trying to get in on the grift. | |
| A week or two ago, Patrick Byrne was saying, I got someone to flip! | |
| It's all coming out! | |
| You guys better start rolling, because the truth about 2020 is going to be shown any day now! | |
| And it's like, yeah, sure thing, buddy. | |
| Everyone should trust the guy who got tricked by a Russian spy. | |
| Everyone. | |
| Yes. | |
| Didn't Jackson Hinkle's honeypot just leave him recently? | |
| Like all these guys get hooked up with these Russian chicks and then they get dumped. | |
| And it's just, I mean, my God, it's going to be real. | |
| How bad do you have to be when like your honeypot calls up Vlad Putin and goes, dude, I can't do it. | |
| I can't be with this guy anymore. | |
| He never stops talking. | |
| Maybe it's Vladdy Daddy calling and just being like, okay, you can get the fuck out of there. | |
| Come on. | |
| Yes! | |
| Come on home. | |
| He gave us so much information. | |
| He never stops. | |
| Yes. | |
| Yes. | |
| So... | |
| The dream to achieve such heights that all of a sudden Russian women become very attracted | |
| to you. | |
| I'm sorry. | |
| I I've always liked that shape, older white men with the bald spots. | |
| Yes! | |
| Oh, very attractive. | |
| Yes! | |
| Okay. | |
| But, you know, at least a cheerier, brighter topic than the next horseshit we have to get into, which is just... I can't believe we're still talking about it. | |
| But anyway, let's get right into it. | |
| Epstein Flight Logs, baby, they're back! | |
| And this time they're more loggier than ever. | |
| Uh, but I don't know to what degree. | |
| Like, I've heard some of this stuff bubbling up to the surface, but I know very little about it. | |
| Mike, what's going on with the Epsi flight list? | |
| Okay, so this is not the flight... So the flight list is what people are recirculating now as being, like, the breaking news and all this shit. | |
| But, uh, the hardcore... Oh, did I misspeak and say log earlier? | |
| I meant list. | |
| There's a list and a log. | |
| Yeah, but so what's what is being passed around right now is flight logs, but that's not breaking news. | |
| The breaking news is basically A list of names that lawyers have like sourced being in some way, shape or form connected to Epstein. | |
| And that's the main thing about this is that everyone's calling this like the Epstein client list. | |
| And it's not that like, what's so funny about this whole thing is people are like released a client list. | |
| And it's like, and The reaction to that is, where would this list be? | |
| How would you believe this list when it came out? | |
| How could it be verified? | |
| Do you think, like, Jeffrey Epstein kept a little black book with everyone's name in it, and on the last page of the book it said, I'm Jeffrey Epstein, all the names in this book are totally legitimate, you must believe that my handwritten notes signed Jeffrey Epstein, truth teller. | |
| Even if so, like, you know, Granted, like, I do believe that that guy was up to shady shit and probably was in some, like, significant ways the monster that, you know, QAnon portrays him to be. | |
| Like, uh, but at the same time, it's also just, like, I'm sure he also did just have several legitimate business dealings. | |
| Like, you can't, you can't be fucking kids with every single person you do business with every single day. | |
| So, like, You're gonna be scooping up a lot of people just, like, who have nothing to do with no crimes. | |
| They were just trying to, you know, like, I was just trying to get funding for a movie in the 80s, man. | |
| Like, I had coke with Jeffrey Epstein one time at a party in Brazil. | |
| And then it's just like, yeah, but did you fuck kids? | |
| And it's just like, why are you? | |
| No, of course not. | |
| Why are you asking me that? | |
| Stop publicly asking me that. | |
| You're fucking destroying my life. | |
| So, you gotta be careful with that sort of shit, you know? | |
| Right. | |
| And so, basically, this list is supposed to be revealed at any moment now. | |
| Unless the list is exclusively clients for kid sex. | |
| If that is the illicit list, if they're just like, hey, Jeffrey Epstein kept very meticulous notes for this incredible crime that he was up to, and boy howdy, we have that list, then yeah, produce that list, please. | |
| Like, I'd really like to see that one. | |
| If you've got the Jeffrey Epstein verifiable list of all the crimes that he and his associates did, then by all means, please release that list. | |
| They released a list, and the list also includes, like, videotapes of everyone on the list, like, looking at a camera, saying, man, I'm about to have sex with an underage person. | |
| This is great. | |
| Thanks, Jeffrey Epstein, for hooking me up so I can, like, feed into my pedophilia fetish. | |
| They're just like, okay. | |
| Yeah, like screen tests, but they're also contractually obligated to look at the camera and just be like, this is not a screen test. | |
| I thought we were going to do a horrible thing. | |
| No, fuck that. | |
| Right. | |
| I mean, but if you have that proof, but again, it's like the Hillary face covering video. | |
| If you've got it, just show us. | |
| I mean, if you have to look at it, it'd be like, wow, that's fucking crazy. | |
| Yeah, so this is all happening. | |
| And so this was supposed to like come out today or tomorrow. | |
| But then there was breaking news that Joe 107, one of the anonymous people had filed a claim to withhold information about themselves from public scrutiny, and that they were filing their appeal. | |
| And DOE 107, the claim that was publicly released was that they claimed that she would be harmed in her home country if an association with Epstein was revealed. | |
| And so again, this is a female anonymous person claiming that they wanted to be kept out of the public revealing. | |
| And of course, These lunatics in QAnon on the right immediately started making up names for who this person was and ignoring the gender in the claim because right now the new hotness in QAnon is Jimmy Kimmel. | |
| It's not just Clinton or Obama or Biden or anyone. | |
| They really got an axe to grind for Jimmy Kimmel and now they're coming for him. | |
| And so they're like... This is who I saw Trent. | |
| This is if the first thing you see when you search Epstein on Twitter was Kimmel because of Sports Gay. | |
| What's his name? | |
| Aaron Rodgers. | |
| Aaron Rodgers. | |
| Aaron Rodgers, one of the things that bubbled up to my shit as well. | |
| And I think it's really funny because Aaron Rodgers is just like, Jimmy Kimmel's probably on that list, and Jimmy Kimmel isn't tweeting. | |
| He's just like, keep saying that and I'm going to sue you. | |
| And it's just like, Jimmy, that's such a stupid and bad look. | |
| I'm gonna sue you for saying that thing I don't like. | |
| It's just like, I mean, it is your right to do that, and you might even win, although I don't super like your chances. | |
| But, you know, like, it also just, I feel like you should just be like, Aaron Rodgers is a stupid moron, and obviously I have nothing to do with this fucking creepy pedophile who is dead, and that's that. | |
| Like, being like, I'm gonna sue ya! | |
| I don't know. | |
| It's like, aw, Jimmy, no. | |
| And the thing is, like, if you're going to get into the whole thing about suing people, Aaron Rodgers is just doing this stuff because he's mad because you pointed out that he's an anti-vaxxer and that he lied about his vaccination status during COVID and all that stuff. | |
| And again, Aaron Rodgers is washed up at this point. | |
| Literally, he's making his transition from actual football player to right-wing kook over the course of the next few years, because that's the only way he's going to maintain cultural relevancy. | |
| Because he ain't marrying Taylor Swift. | |
| He ain't finding some other way to continue to broaden his horizons publicly. | |
| The people that Kimmel should be looking into for like lawsuits and stuff is like Liz Crokan and all these other absolute batshit insane people who are not gonna let this go. | |
| Unlike Aaron Rodgers who's like a squirrel brain fool who will just like forget about yelling at Jimmy Kimmel next week. | |
| Liz and all these QAnon assholes are just like, Oh, look, look at this video of Jimmy Kimmel saying like jokes about pedophilia because he's obviously a pedo. | |
| And they've, uh, they're breaking out all the old clips of like Sarah Silverman and Patton Oswald and all these people who did like routines about that kind of stuff back in the day. | |
| And they're just like, well, this is proof that they're monsters that like want to traffic children and abuse them. | |
| And now we like, Why did you make that joke? | |
| It's like, because it's a joke. | |
| It's a bit. | |
| They're, they're doing a bit. | |
| And you're mad at the bit because you have a tiny brain and you don't understand how comedy works. | |
| Like that's, that's the situation here. | |
| It's like the, the guy that DM'd me who was just like, put this to art. | |
| I'm like, so is art protected by the first amendment or not? | |
| And this guy actually told me there's no first amendment for people like you. | |
| And I was like, wow. | |
| Take that, me and my people, being denied free expression because we're bad. | |
| Because reasons. | |
| Yeah, your people. | |
| In that context, I guess he means people like sex offenders or whatever, I guess? | |
| Yeah, basically. | |
| In this context, he's accusing me of... It's also about how the Constitution works. | |
| That's a slippery slope, I feel like. | |
| Just being like, if you've committed a crime, you no longer get constitutional protection. | |
| I mean, unless we just, I mean, like, if we just want to keep, like, if we're going to start sliding down that slope, I just want to skip a large portion of the slope and just get to fucking Logan's Run. | |
| Just get to the Logan's Run part. | |
| 70, 70, is the, we've talked about this before, you're 70, boom, you get Logan's Run'd, and that's, that'd be great. | |
| Because when I think about living past 70, it seems horrible. | |
| Just Logan's Run me. | |
| Make me swing that green. | |
| I know that's a different thing, but. | |
| It's simply disintegrating me in a light chamber. | |
| It seems like a waste. | |
| Make me a Soylent. | |
| Make me a delicious, high-fat Soylent. | |
| Like the wagyu sort of thing. | |
| I don't think Jimmy Kimmel should be trying to sue anybody. | |
| That's like a pretty high bar to clear, like, demonstrating, like, that you were, like, actually harmed to the point where you deserve, like, compensation. | |
| I mean, because Jimmy Kimmel is somebody. | |
| Granted, Aaron Rodgers is also somebody, but, like, I don't know. | |
| There's not enough of a power imbalance between the two of them for, like, I guess it depends on his receipts. | |
| It's just a high bar to clear. | |
| I just don't think it's worth signal boosting the spat to try to get damage. | |
| Like, what are you going to do? | |
| Because, like, you know, Jimmy Kimmel would obviously be on the hook to take those damages and donate them to charity anyway. | |
| So just cut out the middleman, Jimmy, and just give $2 million to charity. | |
| Yeah, what Jimmy Kimmel should do is literally just say, Aaron Rodgers, yo Aaron Rodgers, name your top three anti-human trafficking charities and I will research them and then pick the one I find the best and I will donate a giant pile of money to them. | |
| And I ask you to match my donation. | |
| So just like, yeah, just put Aaron Rodgers on the spot that way. | |
| I think that would be a really good way to just sort of be like, I call your bet and I re-raise you. | |
| I'm just going to set you up here. | |
| I'm going to be like, boom, let's go. | |
| I hope to God in this instance, and maybe only this instance, that Jimmy Kimmel is worth a lot more than Aaron Rodgers. | |
| I just want them to sign a contract and Jimmy Kimmel will just be like, all of it, like all of what you're worth, like $400 million or whatever. | |
| No, but then I'll be a hobo. | |
| It's just looking like one. | |
| And it's just like, well, you're the one for the un-host, you fucking dickhead. | |
| And then Aaron Rodgers will just need those millions of dollars he gets from Pat McAfee that McAfee pays him to hang out with him on his podcast. | |
| That's like the saddest shit in the world. | |
| Ah, the dream. | |
| Love that. | |
| Yes. | |
| The dream. | |
| Getting paid millions of dollars to hang out with somebody on their podcast? | |
| Ah, there we go. | |
| Yes. | |
| Well, what all I have to leave? | |
| Oh, speaking of child trafficking, I ran out of batteries on my remote in an unfortunate time earlier today and I had to watch the clip teaser for, what is it, Sound of Freedom? | |
| Is that the name of that movie? | |
| Yep. | |
| And, oh my god, like, the fact that Confusio said with a straight face in that movie, he's like, God's children are not for sale. | |
| Yep. | |
| But they are, though. | |
| That's your job. | |
| I mean, I hate to break it to you, but your job is to clamp down on it, which you wouldn't have to do if it wasn't happening. | |
| It's his fake job because he's a liar. | |
| Don't get me wrong. | |
| Yes. | |
| No, no, I mean, the character in the movie, that's definitely his job. | |
| Like, that is what, like, the fictional version that I was hearing talk about God's children. | |
| As far as I know, it's 100% accurate. | |
| Like, in the fiction of the world, that is his job. | |
| Yeah. | |
| And it was his job, yeah. | |
| It was the real guy's job before he became a right-wing grifter and also a massive sex pest. | |
| So yeah, I mean, like, that guy. | |
| Yeah, I just love that. | |
| It was just, they were like, how can we make sure that people know this is sort of like a Christian This is like a Christian thing, even though it's really an action movie about, like, a guy stopping child traffickers. | |
| Which, in a vacuum, would be, like, fun for the whole family, right? | |
| Like, with a good script, I'd be happy to watch, like, Arnold Schwarzenegger in the 80s, like, blow away child traffickers. | |
| That would be great, you know? | |
| They're just like, oh shit, we're like a weird Christian movie production company. | |
| It's a disgusting movie. | |
| Call them God's children. | |
| It's like, okay, cool, that's not creepy at all. | |
| Yeah, we had the action movie about murdering human traffickers. | |
| It was called Taken. | |
| And I mean, Liam Neeson just ran around and murdered like 7 million people. | |
| Oh yeah, that's an excellent point. | |
| Yeah, what a great point, Mike. | |
| We already had Taken. | |
| Everybody loves Taken. | |
| And he wasn't calling his daughter God's child or any of that shit. | |
| It wasn't weird in that way. | |
| Keep your weird Christian stuff out of it. | |
| It's weird. | |
| You and your 12-day long celebration that starts on December 25th. | |
| So fucking bizarre, dude. | |
| Count up and do it. | |
| You know what celebrating 12 days of Christmas sounds like? | |
| A Jewish thing. | |
| What? | |
| It's certainly more similar to the idea of Hanukkah, which is a nine day celebration over the same time period, than it is my idea of Christmas. | |
| One fucking day! | |
| No. | |
| Christmas is a big holy season. | |
| The Advent, which a listener has informed me of, is the time before Christmas. | |
| So when you're doing your 25 days or 12 days of Christmas due to your capitalist ABC family marathons or whatever, it's because you're celebrating the Advent, sir. | |
| And we are currently At the dispensary! | |
| in the 12 days of Christmas still, which I have been talking about with everybody. | |
| I, a guy said Merry Christmas to me at the dispensary the other day. | |
| And he's like, shit, it's not Christmas. | |
| And I'm like, yeah, it is. | |
| It's the 12 days of Christmas. | |
| And you know what he said? | |
| You're right. | |
| Yeah, at the dispensary. | |
| You caught a stoner at the dispensary and got him. | |
| It was the security guard. | |
| Yeah, yeah. | |
| The security guard at a dispensary. | |
| I mean, it was just. | |
| That'd be like being like, no, he's not drunk. | |
| He's the bouncer. | |
| Yeah, he's drunk. | |
| It's a big Christian slash Catholic slash all the sex of those holiday. | |
| And again, I have to, I just want to make my position perfectly clear. | |
| I'm sure that on book, like on paper, which is the Bible or wherever the authority for Christian religious ceremony is, Sure. | |
| I bet that the 12 Days of Christmas starts on Christmas and lasts well into the new year for whatever reason. | |
| But nobody celebrates it that way. | |
| Nobody! | |
| I've never met a single person who's ever celebrated it that way. | |
| I'm doing it right now. | |
| I'm celebrating it. | |
| I mean, you're bringing it back. | |
| It's fine. | |
| I'm bringing it back. | |
| Today we celebrate the Saints Daniel of Padua, the Saint Patroness Genevieve, we celebrate the Holy Name of Jesus, Pope Antares, And William Passavant? | |
| You know what this description reminds me of? | |
| This description reminds me of the other thing I mentioned, which is the only people who know what the fuck you're talking about are deeply Catholic. | |
| Because Catholics are the only people who heard that don't-worship-anyone-but-Jesus-Christ thing, and were just like, fuck that! | |
| We're gonna worship every saint! | |
| Every single one! | |
| We're gonna go out of our way to find people that were cool, that we liked, make them a saint, so we can worship them forever! | |
| Some of these saints honestly don't have big Wikipedia pages. | |
| They have like two lines and one of the guys I found was like, not much is known about him. | |
| And it's like, why do we venerate him on this day? | |
| What if he was bad? | |
| But today we celebrate, on the day that we're recording, listener, today we celebrate the 10 Lords of Leaping. | |
| Tomorrow will be the 11 Pipers Piping. | |
| And then finally, The 12 drummers drumming. | |
| I will say that I briefly tried to corroborate the bird thing. | |
| The fact that it was all birds. | |
| And I also had difficulty corroborating that. | |
| Which is maybe because I may have gotten hoodwinked by a TikTok. | |
| Or maybe I was just bad at doing research. | |
| I didn't try very hard. | |
| But I did look it up and get it just right. | |
| Take it Trick! | |
| I couldn't find a definitive answer either way. | |
| I found, on Wayback, the original print of the 12 Days of Christmas, which went up for sale at an art auction. | |
| Was it illustrated? | |
| Uh-huh. | |
| Oh, that should make it pretty definitive, I guess. | |
| Yeah, and it was not birds for the drummers and the pipers and the lords leaping and the ladies dancing. | |
| I'm going to need receipts, TikTok guy. | |
| You made a compelling argument. | |
| But if the original book print is illustrated and it has the actual things in it, then I'm going to need to see your receipts. | |
| You're going to need to bring me better receipts. | |
| Yeah, it's from 1800, that book. | |
| That's fine. | |
| And again, this part of the legend I'm willing to totally back down on because it was never a matter of... | |
| Of general meta opinion. | |
| This is like definitive. | |
| Either it is about a thing or it isn't. | |
| The 12 Days of Christmas Day certainly started your way, but I am saying that it is mutated into a different thing. | |
| That's fine. | |
| The 12 Days of Christmas is traditionally leading up to the day. | |
| Which is mostly me explaining to the audience, and I want the audience to just be like, why are they even arguing about this? | |
| It's just like, yeah. | |
| The people who created the GIF say it's supposed to be pronounced Jif. | |
| That's fucking insane! | |
| It's insane! | |
| Dude, I'm not doing it! | |
| Maybe some of us want to celebrate Christmas, you know? | |
| And say GIF! | |
| And you can share all of your favorite Christmas GIFs on January 4th, you know? | |
| The 11th day of Christmas or whatever, dude. | |
| Choosy Catholics choose GIF. | |
| Anyway, let's move on to our mailbag segment. | |
| Our listeners got questions, we got answers. | |
| It's time for Q and A. | |
| So, up first is DJ Doogie, who asks, is Joe Flacco elite? | |
| And the answer is, if he wins the Super Bowl this year, he would be the most elite quarterback in the history of the world, because the dude was literally retired the whole season. | |
| And then he joined the Cleveland Browns. | |
| They're in the playoffs now, and it's hilarious. | |
| That's hilarious how that may be. | |
| Counterpoint, the answer is no. | |
| Joe Flacco is and always has been a bum. | |
| And I don't think winning a late-in-life surprise Super Bowl quarterback ring makes him less of a bum. | |
| Any less than surprisingly winning two makes Eli Manning any better of a quarterback. | |
| I am going to break a tooth in rage when the announcement pops up on my phone from ESPN. | |
| Eli Manning inducted into Hall of Fame. | |
| I'm just gonna be like, the dude was a 500 quarterback in the regular season who just caught lightning in the bottle for two playoff runs. | |
| That does not make you Hall of Fame. | |
| Hall of Fame is actual consistent excellence For your whole career. | |
| Then you're just gonna fucking actually die if Aaron Rodgers ever gets in there. | |
| People keep talking about him like he's the lead. | |
| He's got fucking one ring, and now he's talking about Flat Earth or whatever? | |
| Fuck that guy. | |
| Well, yeah, Aaron Rodgers is a nut. | |
| I mean, he's actually won a bunch of, like, MVPs. | |
| He's actually had stats. | |
| I mean, he only has one ring, but, I mean... That's true. | |
| He certainly has better stats than Eli. | |
| I just hate his stats. | |
| Oh, yeah, I hate him. | |
| Bravo. | |
| And Joe Flacco, also, just a bum. | |
| Like, have you seen Flacco play before, listener? | |
| Oh, he's terrible! | |
| But, I mean, this is the most comical fucking story in the NFL this year, is that this guy who no one in the NFL would even give him a workout. | |
| They were like, no, stay on the couch with your kids, Joe. | |
| Fuck you, Joe. | |
| And then the Browns were like, eh, we kind of need a quarterback. | |
| Come on in and try. | |
| And now, like, they're kind of like the dark horse to win the AFC and go to the Bowl. | |
| If, like, if anyone's gonna, like, screw over Baltimore and, like, take that spot for the AFC side of the Super Bowl, Cleveland's definitely possible. | |
| I mean, it's not because of him, it's because of their defense, but that would be just the height of comedy if some guy that was literally on a couch in November just, like, just shows up at the Super Bowl, like, this year. | |
| That'd just be, like, just ridiculous. | |
| No way. | |
| The only people I want to see in the Super Bowl this year is Cutlet, DeVito, and the | |
| fucking Pop-Tart. | |
| Yes! | |
| Oh, if only we had gone hard on Pop-Tart discourse, that would have been awesome. | |
| I'm a fan of the brand, Pop-Tarts, if you're listening. | |
| Hit us up. | |
| I've got Pop-Tarts in my recording area as we fucking speak, bud. | |
| Trust and believe. | |
| Pop-Tarts. | |
| Pancake Peasant asks, which past time period do you think you could thrive the best in? | |
| Follow-up to my previous question, sorry if I put you all on the spot, because sometimes I ask non-QAnon questions to mix it up. | |
| No, this is an AMA. | |
| Please ask us non-QAnon questions. | |
| Also, I don't have time to answer QAnon questions. | |
| This is the shit I live for. | |
| Also, I think it's disrespectful that Mike didn't bother to let Haley answer whether or not she thought Joe Flacco was a bum or an elite quarterback. | |
| Both. | |
| Yes. | |
| Of both! | |
| There we go. | |
| You know, and actually, of the answers this season, that might be the most correct. | |
| He's both. | |
| Yes. | |
| Yes. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Time period I can go back in time and thrive the most in. | |
| 1992 to present, I guess. | |
| Like, if I go back and like... | |
| Like, if I could relive my life just knowing the stuff that I learned in my life, I think I'd be doing pretty well. | |
| I don't think that's in the spirit of the question, though. | |
| I think it would just be like, oh, I can go back to, like, the Wild West and rough it. | |
| It's just like, no, I'm terrible at rough. | |
| I couldn't rough shit. | |
| I couldn't rough shit in any time period. | |
| I would die immediately. | |
| I'm very bad at cardio. | |
| I sweat. | |
| Fair-skinned, fat, out of shape. | |
| Just, you know, the works. | |
| Like, no one to charm in dinosaur land, so what am I going to do there? | |
| You know, although I will say for the record that when I'm watching like my like I watch a lot of YouTube videos and just about a bunch of random shit every once in a while I'll watch one just on a lark like I'll watch like one of the primitive technology videos and I'll just be like oh I should try to like retain a little bit of this in case I ever get isekai'd like if I get hit by a truck and then I wake up Is it my turn? | |
| Do I have to pick? | |
| Oh shit, like I watched a YouTube video and had a like weave a hat I can weave a hat for myself sick | |
| Is it my turn do I have to pick okay, I might be sniping your answer Mike cuz I don't know what you're gonna say but | |
| Through the JFK podcast that we're doing together I want to go back in time to insert myself into | |
| photos and video of the day of the assassination and then I will maintain a hard grift throughout the rest of my life | |
| that gives me good money and | |
| I would get movie deals with Oliver Stone. I I would get podcasts late in life with Rob Reiner. | |
| So that's my fantasy. | |
| That's where I would thrive the most. | |
| Listen to our podcast. | |
| There's you'll there's you will not you will not find a weirder thing in your life than listening to Rob Reiner yell | |
| question at Jerry at geriatrics about what happened to them 60 years | |
| ago when Kennedy got whacked. | |
| It is the weirdest thing. | |
| Because Reiner was a teenager when this happened. | |
| So the people he's talking to were in their 20s and 30s. | |
| So they're so old now and it is screaming at him. | |
| Sometimes it's, it is like, because, because podcasting is an audio format and | |
| all you have to go with is the voices. | |
| And on the one side you have Rob Reiner really loudly yelling, so what did you see that day? | |
| And then you have this like old, might-not-make-it-through-the-week voice being like, and then the president turned to the left and I saw that he had been struck. | |
| Let me take a hit of the oxygen, Mr. Reiner. | |
| And then you get another voiceover of some guy that you just got introduced to that's like, he's saying this. | |
| It's so bizarre. | |
| Oh my god. | |
| Yeah. | |
| I love the idea that Hayley's answer is she would love to go back in time so that she could be in the Zoppertor film so that she could make a little bit of money in the future. | |
| Oh, it makes so much money, Ed. | |
| Like, dude, that's me or my descendant of the Zoppertor film. | |
| Like, I can speak to that. | |
| It's just like, you could do that? | |
| It's so, like, if you're just gonna go back in time to make money doing that? | |
| Like, just go whole hog? | |
| Go back to the Hindenburg disaster? | |
| And then you just run in from off camera and you're just like, subscribe and hit that bell and just floss dance for like 20 seconds in front of the burning Hindenburg. | |
| And then when you return to the future, you're like a jillionaire because you're just like, oh, I've returned to the future where people love me because I'm grifting. | |
| And they're just like, no, you're rich because you're a time traveler. | |
| Everybody's really into- That's true. | |
| I'm traveling. | |
| You got like a book deal and movies are made about you. | |
| They're just like, dude, you can travel through time? | |
| That's sick. | |
| Like, we saw you floss dance in front of the Heddenberry. | |
| That was hilarious. | |
| All those people were dying. | |
| It was so funny. | |
| I put Internet on Inkarta in 1995 when I was at school on my computer. | |
| Inkarta! | |
| All I can think of now is like I've been watching these like YouTube dancing videos and that's in my head now is just those dancing videos in front of the Hindenburg. | |
| Just photoshopping in the people doing the Dougie as the Hindenburg burns in the background. | |
| It's perfect. | |
| Oh my gosh, he's doing a stanky leg! | |
| I don't know what it is yet, but his leg is so stanky! | |
| Anyway. | |
| Mike, what type area do you have the skillset in? | |
| I would... I think I would probably want to become... Again, this involves me actually being able to pull it off, which as Elle has explained, I would not be able to do this. | |
| So my actual answer would be something akin to Elle's, where I just basically am myself. | |
| Before Texas Hold'em got big, and then I can just be an elite poker player, because my rudimentary knowledge of how poker is played would be mind-blowing to somebody in the 1990s. | |
| Like, they would just... Dude, imagine how good you'd be at gathering. | |
| Oh my god. | |
| Oh yeah, no shit. | |
| Oh my god. | |
| Kai Bud would be a bitch compared to me. | |
| I'd just be smashing everybody at MTG. | |
| It'd be ridiculous. | |
| But I mean, Back in the ancient times when people were still learning how Texas Hold'em worked, they thought Jack 10 was the best possible hand to start with because you can make all the straights with it, and if it's suited, you can make a ton of flushes. | |
| The idea that pocket aces was the best hand was like revolutionary. | |
| And only when math bore it out were people like, Oh, right. | |
| When you just start with the two best cards you could possibly start with, that's really | |
| good. | |
| So it's like that kind of stuff. | |
| But if I lived in the ability to actually like do something wild or crazy. | |
| would basically start like an abolitionist cult in America somewhere during the Civil War and | |
| probably lead to like all kinds of like, just like slave rebellions trying to like just cause | |
| fomenting all kinds of insurrection and dissent in the South. And then after the after the war is | |
| over, as the North is like dithering with reconstruction, I would just like try to like | |
| take one Southern state and just like make it the state where like just have all the newly | |
| emancipated slaves go there, give them guns to fight off the KKK. And they just like have that | |
| state. So like in the modern day, it's just like, Oh yeah, by the way, Arkansas is just like | |
| ridiculously democratic because that was just like the, that was just the state that like the. | |
| that the emancipated slaves took over, owned it, and they didn't let the white people | |
| Do it. | |
| who enslaved them have it back. | |
| And it's just so like, that would be like my thing. | |
| Like the ultimate dream of course would be like doing that to like Texas or some shit, | |
| but that would probably be a bit of a, that'd be a bit of a heavy lift. | |
| So I need to pick a smaller state. | |
| Do it, take Texas. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Yeah, we're not gonna miss it here in the future, which would then become our present. | |
| In fact, we would literally never miss it. | |
| We would just be like, oh, it's always been like that, you know? | |
| Yes. | |
| Yeah. | |
| So those are the two options of which of the two, obviously being a poker player that has like forbidden future technology would be the easier. | |
| And then finally, SnorlaxCpap asks, anyone know what River Ninja Ron is up to these days? | |
| Suspiciously quiet. | |
| Also, NFL question. | |
| C.J. | |
| Stroud is the rookie of the year. | |
| How far will the Texans go in the playoffs? | |
| You guys are hitting us. | |
| I appreciate that we're doing a football answers Q&A at the end. | |
| Well, it's going to be that time of year, man. | |
| We're getting into the playoffs. | |
| Yep. | |
| Well, the Texans have to beat the Colts this week to even make the playoffs. | |
| So if they do... I mean, it all kind of depends on the matchup they get. | |
| I mean... How about your New England Patriots? | |
| How are they doing? | |
| Ah, they're dead. | |
| They died a death. | |
| And literally this week, I am... Like, that was what I was looking forward to. | |
| So I'm just going to jump ahead to that. | |
| I'm looking forward to them losing this week. | |
| They've got to find a way to lose. | |
| We need to lose this game so badly. | |
| The Jets suck shit. | |
| Is it a tank for Tommy situation? | |
| Yeah, it really is. | |
| It's a, it's a, like, if they lose, they end up with like the third or second pick. | |
| And if they win, they can fall like as far back as like seventh. | |
| So it's just one of these things where if you lose, you may get the quarterback of the future. | |
| If you win, hope you like left tackles. | |
| Oh man, the excitement, the pizazz of having a- We already got the quarterback of the future. | |
| I seem to remember, I seem to remember a draft that was with abundant quarterbacks who all totally panned out and are doing great. | |
| Yes! | |
| Yeah, that draft was awesome. | |
| What a time to be alive. | |
| So, as for Rod, he's mostly just surfing that wave of QAnon bullshit. | |
| He's posting standard Riddler Q tweets every now and then. | |
| But it kind of feels like his moment in the zeitgeist has kind of passed him by. | |
| He doesn't really have any snap on the fastball. | |
| So, I mean, who knows? | |
| I mean, obviously he'll be looking for some new grift in the future. | |
| He was going to start that when he leaks for UFOs. | |
| Then he decided to become an election integrity specialist. | |
| So he's going to want to do something. | |
| He's going to try to get himself back out there somehow. | |
| But for the moment, not so much. | |
| For the moment, he's just hanging out, being like a creepy weirdo, doing whatever creepy weirdos like Ron Watkins do. | |
| So. | |
| Here we go. | |
| Where in the world is Ronny Watts? | |
| Probably snucking the Charisma out of a void somewhere. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Oh, I forgot. | |
| I had a question that was supposed to be answered offline, but I'm going to answer it quickly here as well. | |
| I'd like someone to explain the reason why Q left 4chan to go to 8chan. | |
| In kayfabe, Q said that 4chan had been corrupted. | |
| In reality, it's because you can't, like, make an identity on 4chan. | |
| Like, your posts, you have to sign them and shit. | |
| But anyone can do that. | |
| Anyone could have been Q. | |
| On 8chan, you have trip codes and shit, so you could actually kind of build the brand. | |
| And also, probably because Ron Watkins wanted to steal it and move it to 8chan. | |
| So that's probably another reason why that happened. | |
| So yeah. | |
| But I'm also going to post that online for that person, because they wanted me to do both. | |
| There we go. | |
| Well, look, you're getting it right under the wire. | |
| Yes. | |
| So the final question, as always, is what are you guys looking forward to besides the Patriots losing this weekend? | |
| The rest of the 12 days of Christmas. | |
| Cause we still got a couple to go. | |
| Boom. | |
| You got two more days and then you're done. | |
| No more Christmas for you. | |
| We're doing a big blowout. | |
| I feel like, I feel like because Hailey was raised Jehovah's Witness, she's now like, I've got holidays. | |
| I need to suck the marrow out of those holidays. | |
| This is the first time I've done this. | |
| This isn't, this isn't just, but it's been funny. | |
| It's been a funny month. | |
| I bet you're learning a lot more about Christmas than most people. | |
| What up? | |
| I actually didn't, I barely got any gifts. | |
| I did, I sent one gift. | |
| I'm not really, it's... Halloween though, I do like Halloween because you get to dress up. | |
| Oh shit! | |
| Did I mention that one of the Christmas gifts I got from one of my friends this year was a big book of surviving after the apocalypse? | |
| Related to the previous question about, like, if I could take that book with me, man, I'd be big doings in any era, you know? | |
| Because it's just got like a bunch of, like, I think it was like a Kickstarter thing or whatever. | |
| It's a very well put together, sort of like, slightly tongue-in-cheek, but just a big book of generally useful stuff. | |
| Like, here's how to fertilize things properly and, you know, here's how to make rudimentary things. | |
| And here's some like, like starting a new society, like social guidelines and things like that. | |
| Here are some guide zones you can put up in Georgia. | |
| No, don't do that! | |
| You'll make people crazy! | |
| No! | |
| Anyway, I don't have anything specific that I'm looking forward to this week. | |
| I'll have a big one next week. | |
| But this week, I don't know, man. | |
| I'll just say my next orgasm. | |
| I don't know when it's gonna happen, but whenever it does, it'll probably be pretty fun. | |
| That look of horror was what I was looking for. | |
| Beautiful. | |
| Great response. | |
| Looking forward to the new year. | |
| Riot 2024 is going to be killer. | |
| It's an election year. | |
| It's so hard to look forward to an election year. | |
| For me. | |
| Just because I know we're going to get down into the fucking mud. | |
| We're really going to get down to it this year. | |
| Oh yeah. | |
| So beyond the Patriots losing this week, I'm looking forward to the normalization of my work schedule because The holidays just bring people out in droves, and finally we're going to be back to people working their 9-to-5 jobs without vacations 24-7, 365. | |
| So actually being able to walk into work on a Tuesday and then just being like, oh man, people are not here. | |
| Not every table is full of people just thirsting for more blackjack. | |
| Thank God. | |
| Oh man. | |
| When you work in the casino industry, you are working weekends, and I accept that they're busy because everyone else is off, and that's where we work. | |
| But when you're working weekdays in casinos, it's supposed to be chill. | |
| You're supposed to be able to actually take a breath and relax for once. | |
| Basically, all of December was just Woo! | |
| Party time! | |
| Hittin' the casino! | |
| And it's like, oh man, finally January is here and you people can now, like, start paying for all your Christmas gifts and everything that you put in the credit card. | |
| So, be gone with ye! | |
| Be gone! | |
| Yah! | |
| Yah! | |
| So you're just looking forward to increased laziness is what you're saying? | |
| Yes. | |
| Oh God. | |
| Finally, finally, finally being able to not have, uh, dealers working 10 hour shifts stressed out of their minds being like, I was supposed to get out four hours ago. | |
| It's like, yeah, I know, but you can't cause we were busy and that's the way this works. | |
| And, uh, welcome to the holiday season, motherfucker. | |
| Yep, pretty much, exactly. | |
| Welcome to the full 12 days of Christmas, motherfucker! | |
| Damn right! | |
| Bunch of damn gambling Catholics up here. | |
| Anyway, thank you so much for listening to the show and supporting us with your ear holes. | |
| It's time for us to board the backs of our army of lords of Lebanon and leap our fucking way out of Hellworld for the week. | |
| If you'd like to continue to support the show even harder, but still for free, you can give us a five-star review wherever you get your podcasts from. | |
| If you have money and you want to give it to us, Lord knows we will take it. | |
| You can visit us at patreon.com slash PokerPolitics, where you can donate as little as $2 per month and as much as, what's our most recent tier, like $50,000 or whatever, some insane thing. | |
| It was a joke we did a while ago, but it's still up there if you've got deep pockets. | |
| If you donate $5 or more a month, you get access to our slate of bonus content, which is like the big incentive if you're interested in hearing more from us. | |
| There's, you know, 50-60 hours worth of bonus content there across a wide variety of topics and formats, including stuff from when Sarge was still on the show and new stuff now that Hayley has arrived. | |
| So thank you for so much to all of the beautifler babies up in the crib, including our most recent beautifler baby, Randy Raymond, who sounds sort of like the host of an adult variety show in the spirit of Pee Wee Herman. | |
| So thank you so much, Mr. Randy Raymond, for your support and for the support of all of our other beautifuller babies. | |
| Woohoo! | |
| Shout out! | |
| If you have money and you want to do some good within the world, we trust you to use your best judgment and find a good place to put it. | |
| But if you need a suggestion, love146.org is the one we usually go with. | |
| They are an organization whose vision is the end of child trafficking and exploitation, and as we all know, God's children are not for sale. | |
| Thank you so much to DJ Minimal Effort for the use of the original theme song that Mike remixed into the cooler theme song that we have now, accidentally. | |
| You know, you can't build a strong house without a good foundation or whatever. | |
| So good work, DJ Minimal Effort. | |
| We love ya. | |
| No social media for you, and I don't think you listen to the show. | |
| So in fact, fuck you. | |
| You're the worst. | |
| We hate you. | |
| No, just kidding. | |
| It's all love. | |
| Shout out to our boy Frosty at FrostyVO on BlueSky. | |
| Our friend Frosty friended me there, alerting me to his presence on BlueSky. | |
| So you can find the voice of all of our bumps and the voice of Q when we need it on BlueSky at FrostyVO. | |
| You can technically find me on Blue Sky at Mysterious L, who cares? | |
| You can find the show that you're listening to at Twitter, at Hellworld, with a Q instead of an O. You can find Haley on various social media platforms, including Blue Sky, at Arizona Right Watch, AZRW, and then Mike Raines, of course, on all social media, at Poker Politics. | |
| Look at us! | |
| So prolifically on social media, you wouldn't fucking believe it. | |
| So, for another successful episode of the Adventures of Hellworld Podcast, I have been one of your hosts, the Mysterious L, joined as always by our expert in all things Arizona Crazy, Hayley, aka Arizona Right Watch, and our expert in all things QAnon Crazy, Mr. Mike Rains. |