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Dec. 21, 2023 - Adventures in HellwQrld

01:42:22

Adventures in HellwQrld Episode #169: Colorado Boots Trump

Rudy has to pay a truckload of cast, Haley went to a Turning Point Convention and Trump's off the ballot in Colorado. All sorts of fun stuff going on. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Time	Text
	Thanks for watching.
	Content Warning.
	The Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in depth about QAnon, which means we have to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people.
	Listener discretion advised.
	Hello, everybody.
	I am Mike Rains, a.k.a.
	Poker and Politics, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld.
	This week, I am joined, as always, by Haley, a.k.a.
	Arizona Right Watch.
	Hello, everybody.
	I am back from many adventures that we will hear about.
	Hello, hello.
	And the mysterious El.
	Hello, beautiful babies!
	Immediate reaction from both co-workers.
	A shocked giggling.
	Hello!
	He never runs with violence, so it's like, what's he going to do this time?
	Who knows?
	It's me!
	Good boy!
	Is that Borat?
	You know what's funny about Borat is that before Borat, there was, what was the name?
	Cussin Belkey in Perfect Strangers.
	Do you remember that show?
	I feel like we made a talk about this on the podcast at one point with Hossman too, but
	every once in a while I remember Perfect Strangers.
	I just said, fuck, what a weird show.
	What a weird thing.
	There was just, like, the fucking legacy of just, like, this person is vaguely foreign, and we're just gonna kind of, like, knock it into exactly, like, what they're about, but we're just gonna make some broad-stroke fucking jokes about what their weird culture is like.
	Same thing with Ed, Edd, and Eddie.
	At least Ed, Edd, and Eddie was a cartoon, so it didn't feel like they were punching ass down as, like, either guy at a perfect show, just being like, I'm foreign!
	Hey!
	I love you.
	And I don't want to not be white, you know?
	I'm not here to intimidate you by not being white!
	Okay, cool.
	That kind of like ambiguity is perfect for American TV because everybody's a different
	kind of racist here, so it's like they can just insert their stereotype into that stereotype
	caricature.
	Yeah, like, is Fred Armisen the most hated man in America?
	He might be.
	It's possible!
	I think he's played like every race possible, like, just because he's so, he's like a comedic actor who is like, you know, just looks sort of ethnic enough in various ways.
	And she's like, yeah, he's from Venezuela, what of it?
	It's like, really?
	Fred Armisen?
	Okay, that'd be cool.
	I mean, that was kind of like Yakov Smirnoff's whole shtick for a long time, was just like, hey, I'm Russian!
	Russia is crazy, yo!
	I mean, hey, man!
	And then he retired to be king of Missouri.
	Like Jesus Christ before him, according to the Book of Mormonism or whatever.
	I actually caught a Mormon in the wild, like, this week, and that was crazy.
	What, you, like, bagged him and tagged him?
	If only, you know.
	Did you, like, use powder on him and then hit him with the Pokeball?
	Did you leave a tag on their ear before you released him back in the wild so you could find him again?
	Yes, absolutely.
	No, like there was this guy, he just like posted a tweet.
	He had the blue checkmark.
	So obviously he wrote a novella.
	And at the bottom of his novella was a giant, was just a gothic picture of Satan as like a black goat and all this stuff.
	And I was noticing that this guy was actually engaging in the replies.
	And I love arguing with Christians who are like that, like into it.
	So I got into it with him, and then...
	He was doing the whole thing where he's like, if you think that children's suffering and all this stuff is blah, blah, blah, that's like the small stuff.
	You've got to see the big picture to really understand what God's all about, man.
	And I was just like, OK, so then what's the big picture?
	How do I find the big picture?
	Do I find it in the Koran?
	Do I find it in the Bible?
	If I find it in the Bible, is it the Old Testament and the New Testament?
	Blah, blah, blah.
	And the guy was just like, you can find the truth in all kinds of books, but if you're looking for the real truth, you should check out the Book of Mormon.
	And then I was just like, can I be blessed by the angel Moroni?
	Can I be saved by him?
	And then he was just like, you're trying to troll me.
	You're not really serious about this.
	And I was like, what do you mean I'm trolling you?
	I'm like, how am I trolling you about Moroni?
	It's part of your faith.
	I know your lore.
	How is this trolling?
	And he was just like, well, you're not talking about Joseph Smith and the gold plates and blah, blah, blah.
	And I'm like, ah, whatever.
	I just wanted to talk about Moroni.
	It's like, yeah, Joseph Smith was like a convicted fraud.
	And the gold plates were a tool for fraud.
	And the hat, it was also, you guessed it, fraud.
	So, we don't talk about those parts, because it makes our religion look real bad.
	We talk about the parts that we can't, like, by the rules of religion can't point to and just be like, that's transparently horse shit, you have to pay taxes.
	So...
	Those are the parts we get to discuss, and an angel falls into that category.
	I'd love to bring that into the category if we could talk about it like that.
	It'd just be like, hey, I mean, produce a fuckin' Maroney and pay taxes.
	You know?
	Those are your options.
	Like, hey, Maroney!
	Hey, Maroney!
	Hey, go Giants!
	Pay your fuckin' taxes over here!
	You know?
	Hey!
	Get the fuck over here with your taxes!
	Yeah, I get it.
	You got many, many fucking angels with a bunch of eyes.
	Ooh, yeah.
	Oh, Pansy Labyrinth over here.
	Whatever.
	Fuck it.
	Make with the fucking tax money.
	I'm mostly laughing because what Elgin said, someone posted a, they had a picture on Twitter, and it was just like, this is my biblically correct angel that's going to go on top of my tree.
	And it was just a ball with a ton of wings and a ton of eyes on it.
	I was just like, nailed it!
	I love biblically accurate angels, because they're terrifying.
	They're absolutely hideous.
	Yeah, I like the people that are, like, devout followers that are just, like, dude, angels just look like people with wigs.
	And it's just, like, really.
	Because, like, I'm pretty sure, I think, like, it was kind of a big deal that God made man in his image.
	I don't think he, like, he was like, dude, I made a version that was, like, well, it looked like me.
	It was mad hot.
	It had wings.
	It was pretty chill.
	And I was like, dude, you know, this could use being worse just across the board.
	I'm just going to make one of these been a lot worse.
	Lose the wings.
	Those suck.
	Make them uglier.
	Dirty.
	Put them on Earth.
	They're the worst.
	So good.
	And then he's just like, damn, I really did a great job with that.
	It's like, what the fuck?
	Yeah, I made wingless angels.
	I nailed it.
	I'm so good at my job.
	I'm truly the greatest.
	God, can you imagine?
	He must be fucking over the moon with the work he did on horses.
	He was just like, oof.
	Took that unicorn, broke that horde right off.
	Much lamer.
	Boom.
	Nailed it.
	To say nothing of his affinity for sneaking tricky little dinosaur bones into the earth to hoodwink us.
	Or maybe that's just strictly the devil power.
	Those are mud fossils.
	Oh, mud fossils.
	Right.
	Oh, there was someone who had a post where it was just all, people think flat earthers are nuts until they actually get, yep, I sent both of you the Biblically Accurate Angel Christmas Ornament.
	I like it.
	You can gaze upon it in all its glory.
	The and they're like, people may think Flat Earth is dumb until they look into it.
	And then they just did this for like, everything.
	And they even went to dinosaur bones.
	And they were like, people who think dinosaurs are fake, people think dinosaur truthers are nuts, until they see the evidence.
	And it's like, No, you're nuts.
	I've seen the evidence.
	You're fucking wrong.
	Dinosaurs are real.
	Get over yourself.
	All these people that know the secret truth, they love the idea of evidence, but at the same time you're just like, really?
	That's super interesting.
	Because I also came to my conclusions based on evidence.
	Would you like to compare some?
	Here's my evidence in the form of fucking dinosaur skeletons.
	How about you?
	And they're like, here's my evidence in the form of the Bible.
	YouTube video.
	And it's like, okay, but like, I'm like standing next to a skeleton of an impossible creature from a bygone era.
	It's fucking insane.
	Look at the thing!
	Look at how massive this was!
	And they're just like, nah dude, that's fake.
	The devil did that.
	I mean, we faked the moon landing, so we can fake anything.
	I don't know what your point is here, Al.
	I don't know what you're trying to prove here with your dinosaur bones.
	To be fair, I have less proof of the moon landing than I would if I needed to pull that move on somebody.
	Like, I can bring them to a museum and show them a rock.
	It's pretty easy to just be like, that rock should have came from anywhere.
	And I'd be like, alright, fair play.
	It could be a meteor rock.
	We know meteors exist.
	They hit the earth every once in a while.
	You see them do it.
	It's like, okay, cool.
	Fair enough.
	I can't prove to you that this rock came from the moon.
	Dude, look at that fucking skeleton of a dinosaur, man!
	That's fucking crazy!
	The amount of hoops those people jump through to try to justify that.
	They'll tell you that most of the bones are artificial, that only a few of them are actually from the real dinosaur skeleton.
	There's this part of the mythology called the Bone Wars that they get into.
	Yeah.
	That's my favorite trashy Amazon sex book, the Bone Wars series.
	Yes.
	That's all about.
	They lost the plot in episode four.
	It just got really all about the sex, really, at that point.
	The characters had no more depth anymore.
	The real tragedy of those of us who lost the Bone Wars before they even began.
	Incel, colon, a Bone Wars spinoff.
	Uh, okay.
	Yeah, I thought Tyrus had more depth to him, so I'm glad they're making the spinoff with him.
	That's good.
	It's not Tyrus, you philistine!
	I'm so sorry.
	Tyrus, the fucking, by Frank Herbert.
	Yes.
	No, if I was that his name would be something insane like, you know, it would be just completely
	mundane first name, like insane second name.
	Like it would just be like, and he will forever be known as Stephen Caligula!
	It's like, yay!
	Stephen Caligula!
	Okay, let's move on from this horseshit into our media booze boosh, because somebody went to Nazi camp.
	It's time for a light sampling of insanity.
	Get ready for the amuse-bouche.
	First, though, we get to bouche it up by talking about our boy Rudy Giuliani, who had a pretty bad week.
	Hey, up until that point, they could have assumed that Rudy Giuliani was the one who went to Nazi camp.
	Oh shit, you're right.
	Yeah, you dug yourself out.
	Hayley is the proudest Nazi we have on the show!
	Okay, anyway, no.
	Rudy Giuliani, he had a bad week, like an Alex Jones-ian level bad week, which is to say that he got his ass paddled for a significant amount of currency.
	For more information, I will always do what I always do and turn it over to Mike, the knower of some stuff.
	Mike, knower of some stuff, what is going on with Rudy Giuliani this week?
	So Rudy, much like Alex Jones, he had lost his lawsuit already because he basically said, yeah, I did it.
	I totally defamed those two poor ladies.
	And so the jury came back with a settlement for roughly slightly less than $150 million, of which Rudy Giuliani probably has, I don't know, maybe a couple million to his name if he's lucky at this point.
	So yeah, Rudy got good and truly, totally crushed by this I'm out.
	He immediately ran out of court, said this was all bullshit, that he was totally going to testify as we concluded last week's podcast with that Rudy was like, I'm going to get on the stand and I'm going to tell him what for and the truth is going to be brought out.
	And then Rudy didn't testify.
	And then after the settlement, after the verdict was read, he stated that he didn't testify because he was afraid.
	That no matter what he said, he was going to be held in contempt of court and thrown in jail because the whole thing was a farce and a witch hunt and it was rigged and all the other things that Donald Trump says in these situations when he gets his ass paddled by the legal system.
	And so.
	Basically, he said he was going to appeal, obviously, and then he continued to attack Ruby Friedman.
	And he continued to slander the two of them to the point where they've now filed another lawsuit for defamation again against him.
	Literally every time the man speaks, he commits defamation against these two.
	So he's just going to, he's just going to, he's working his way up the Alex Jones ladder.
	He's one tenth of the way there.
	So he's just gonna spend the rest of his life dumping tens of millions of more dollars into this settlement that he's eventually gonna have to make with these people.
	Maybe he's hoping he'll die first.
	He's hoping he's got less time on his life than he'll have.
	That's really it.
	His two options are Trump wins and somehow absolves the election by dissolving the American Republic and declaring all rulings invalid, or he dies.
	Those are his two escape hatches from paying out this money.
	Running out the clock either to the end of the American Republic or his life.
	Because he's got no other escape hatches.
	No court is going to be like, no, you know what, Rudy?
	You don't owe nine figures worth of damages to these people that you ruined the lives of by lying and saying they stole the election in Georgia.
	And you know you did that.
	Maybe it'll be like one of those really heartwarming stories that you hear in the news as a puff piece where like, The husband and wife are holding hands and they both die together within minutes, and that'll be Rudy Giuliani and American democracy.
	Yeah, yeah, the news flashes across the ticker, Trump wins Pennsylvania, and then like two minutes later, smash cut, Rudy Giuliani dead, and it's just like, oh, shit!
	He got both!
	That's bad for us, but at least I'm glad he's dead.
	I'm having mixed feelings tonight.
	Yes.
	Yeah, so, yeah, I mean, he... and the thing is, unlike Alex, he doesn't have any money-making schemes.
	He can't make a buck.
	What, you don't think he needs to get on Cameo?
	I wonder what Rudy Giuliani's Cameo rate is right now.
	Oh, my God.
	I mean, has he lowered it?
	I think he's doing sales.
	That's what I'm thinking.
	If he's on sale, we're getting him.
	We're getting him.
	For Christmas.
	For the pod.
	Not even for a cameo.
	Just like him, the person.
	We're going to obtain the rights to Rudy Giuliani and just have him as our mascot.
	Just dangle a carrot with a $50 bill.
	Come on, Giuliani.
	Come to the pod.
	Our logo is just going to be his melting face.
	That's gonna be our thumbnail, just the oil leaking down the side of his... Could you imagine a worse photo op?
	JFK avoided wearing hats so that he wouldn't look dumb in photos, because he believed that men wearing hats looked stupid, and, you know, a lot of the times he's right.
	Some guys can pull off a hat though, good for them.
	But, Rudy Giuliani, like, he's literally, like, your face oozing.
	Like, at the seams?
	Like, it's a fucking mask?
	Is real bad.
	Like, I mean, there's no escaping that photo for me.
	That's just the photo that is on my mind's, like, record of Rudy Giuliani.
	Like, that's his file photo.
	It's just him, like, dripping that hair ooze or whatever it is.
	Disgusting.
	So you're saying that we should go to Wikipedia and make that his Wikipedia photo so that anyone with any Wikis, Rudy Giuliani, BAM, it's just an oil photo?
	Just nail him with it?
	Nah, dude.
	I think I'll be perfectly satisfied having never edited a Wikipedia article in my life.
	I don't know why, but that just makes me feel better than having done it even once.
	No, you haven't reached that level.
	It's so hard to care about a thing to the point where I want to go on a Wikipedia to either deface it for comedy or actually add to it for credibility.
	I don't know.
	I'm not about that life.
	You care so much about everything.
	Yeah, I care at such a macro level that Wikipedia is beneath me.
	Okay, okay.
	That's how we're spinning this.
	I have like a The Lord level of empathy for the world if you hit the podcasts and couldn't tell.
	I'm always so sad for people that I hate and I certainly never wish anybody was dead.
	Our boy Rudy is temporarily unavailable on Cameo right now.
	Temporarily?
	Wow.
	I mean, I guess it's all booked up.
	Rudy, you need to fucking clear some time.
	Now that you don't have to go to court anymore, presumably, considering it's just like, hey, you've lost.
	For a lot.
	You know, spend some time fucking getting back on the Cameo grind, dog.
	Make that like $190 million or whatever in just a few days.
	Who doesn't want to hear from America's mayor?
	Who doesn't?
	You can try to flag him down.
	You can message Rudy on Cameo for 20 bucks to like wave at him.
	Be like, Hey Rudy, get in touch with me.
	We got to talk shop.
	You pay $20 to just have an assurance from the people at Cameo that they have like essentially Facebook poked one of their stars.
	Yes, exactly right.
	That's a thing that they're allowed to offer?
	Apparently, yes.
	Dude, why the fuck haven't we sold out, man?
	It seems like if you're willing to do, like, even a modicum of selling out or just being sort of, like, shitty for money, it's really easy to just get a lot of free money.
	Nobody cares about any of us.
	That's the problem.
	That's the problem.
	I was never America's mayor.
	I could easily get a platform if I pivoted to even Libertarian.
	If I went Libertarian, like, I... You could, actually.
	If I took my style of charisma and was just like, yo, let's have an honest conversation about trans people, uh, I would blow up.
	And then, uh, the problem is I would have to follow that up with what those people would want to hear.
	And not just like, dude, we should just fucking leave them alone, like, provide medical service for them, it should be cool.
	It'd be like, dude, that's not what you wanted?
	I'd be like, oh, sorry, whoops.
	Anyway, yeah.
	We need to sell out.
	We're being very foolish.
	Oh, yeah.
	It's a snack.
	Oh, no snap on snack!
	Dude, somebody in one of my neighborhoods, well, one of the towns adjacent neighborhoods was flying that flag last holiday season.
	I got it at NaziCon.
	You got it at the NaziCon?
	They were selling the ironic one there?
	That's kind of weird.
	Anyway, let's segue.
	It's time for the second poosh segment of the week, which is technically big enough this week to be a news segment, but we're just going to turn it over to Hayley for the rest of the poosh.
	Hayley went to an event that I called Nazi Camp that is not Nazi Camp, and for the record, Hayley being a Nazi is just a goof.
	I will keep doing it.
	Bye.
	She has a goof.
	She's actually our man on the inside.
	Or Aladdin on the inside.
	We discussed off-mic which terms could be attributed to a group of friends, irregardless of gender.
	Oh god, did I just say irregardless?
	Podcast over!
	We have to start re-recording!
	Anyway, I'll let Haley discuss her fun fuckin' white supremacy event and other Arizona doings in our Arizona is a Flaming Crater in the West of My Country segment of the week.
	Haley, what's going on in Arizona this week?
	Well, Arizona is the unlucky recipient of this yearly conference held by Turning Point USA.
	Charlie Kirk's so-called non-profit.
	Can I just ask a question real quick about the event being in your location?
	Is this just sort of like, do they just choose Arizona because Arizona is friendly?
	Or is this a thing that people are bidding for?
	Is there any sort of prestige to this?
	Is there a competition as to where it goes?
	Okay, so Turning Point USA holds several conferences throughout the year, every year.
	They hold one in Florida, they hold one in Dallas, Texas, they hold one here, I forget where the other ones are, but it's like a known, it's kind of like how CPAC, you know CPAC is going to happen, you know that AmericaFest is going to happen in Phoenix.
	I think CPAC gets moved around, but there's like...
	Charlie Kirk is um... like Turning Point USA and Charlie Kirk.
	Charlie Kirk lives here.
	Turning Point is headquartered here.
	So, like, Arizona's considered kind of, like, one of their battleground locations.
	So he just wants to have, like, the big show in his home territory.
	Mm-hmm.
	Yeah.
	So it's literally just because Arizona is friendly territory.
	Okay, that was interesting.
	I just, like, I know that this is their, like, one of their biggest events, if not their biggest event, and, like, I just didn't know why it was always in Arizona and never moved.
	Mm-hmm.
	Yeah.
	Because it's, like, uh, They kind of present themselves as the group that's moving the, like, bringing the youth into the conservative movement.
	Um, but they don't, they don't actually really do any significant, they're not actually helping the party here.
	If anything, since they've like planted their flag here, uh, the Republican party has like lost a lot of major seats and they get kind of criticized for that a lot, but I don't think they have goals of actually doing anything except kind of lining Charlie Kirk's pocket.
	Like to be honest, they, um, Like, it presents itself as a youth group and, like, there is a lot of people that are young at this event.
	There's a, there was about... You know who else had a youth group?
	Oh, you know, you're right.
	There are lots of people with youth groups.
	Specifically Hitler, though.
	Hitler Youth was the first one that came to my mind.
	Oh, oh, him.
	Right.
	Yes, him.
	That guy.
	This is, like, next level.
	Do conservatives and young boys, that they are trying to mold, wink, Good to go.
	You're so right with that.
	That was a overarching theme of the weekend because it's like, OK, like I said, it's supposed to be like a youth kind of outreach group because they're on a lot.
	They're on a bunch of college campuses.
	They're in a bunch of they have a lot of high school clubs.
	That's kind of their goal is to just like keep building and become a club on like every campus.
	They have a K through 12 curriculum, Turning Point Academy.
	Um, they work with churches to kind of implement that.
	Anyways, uh, the youth thing.
	It's like, there's a lot of, there is a lot of Zoomers there.
	There's a lot of young kids there.
	There's a lot of, um, you know, 25 and under.
	They actually make the event much cheaper the younger you are.
	The younger you are, the cheaper it goes.
	Um, That is an incredible business model that I don't think I've ever heard of before.
	There is, like, a lot of, again, younger people there.
	There was about 12,000 people there this weekend.
	Yeah, I know.
	Last year it was 10,000, so it went up a little.
	Estimate, estimate.
	But, like, it's packed.
	It is very packed.
	It's packed.
	The event that they hold it in is the convention center here, so they expect it to be big.
	But a lot of the young people there, it's kind of like They're not there because they genuinely flew out.
	There's a pretty good chance that they likely worked for Turning Point USA as an ambassador, or an influencer, or they worked for one of the clubs.
	a lot of people a lot of the young people there like are somehow involved with turning point usa
	um and they they just like are constantly there's like stations for them to make tiktoks and just constant content
	and boost their numbers they kind of all brag at the end of the event like how much
	their stats went up just from the event like it's an event for recruitment kind of um trying to make the
	youth seem cool uh And yeah, they give them a lot of incentives to be there, so like the people that work for Turning Point USA get like travel stipends, and they house them at the hotels in the surrounding area for a room, which I thought was funny.
	How uncomfortable.
	So yeah, they get a lot of them out here, and then, I mean, there are genuinely people that come out here.
	The people who are more genuinely at the event are the older people.
	Like, it's actually more older people there, but they don't show that on the cameras as much.
	Like, it's majority older people going there to see, because you'll see Tucker, and Laura Ingram, and Candace Owens, and Charlie Kirk five times, and Tim Pool do a live show, and Every Fox News commentator you can think of, Alex Stein, and just the worst people, Ollie London, the guy that pretended...
	So he was like transracial or something and got... Yeah, Ollie London's just the most desperate for attention person in the universe.
	And then he just found out, oh, if I just go right winger, boom, I'll get attention.
	Ollie London is basically the end goal of Elle with like psychotic motivation.
	Because Ollie did 73 different things.
	Look at me!
	Look at me!
	And none of them worked.
	And then Ollie was just like, now I'm a Republican.
	And everyone was like, boom, we love you, Ollie.
	And Ollie was like, yes, I did it.
	They're finally paying attention to me.
	And it's just like, yeah.
	I'm so happy that my career path is assured once I just decide to pivot.
	Yes, it's really there.
	Fuck this liberal bullshit.
	I'm out to get paid.
	There was one comic that was posing with Ollie, and they were like, he's got our back on Twitter.
	That was what one tweeted.
	Oh, man.
	Actually, this is how Elle makes it big.
	Elle just breaks for me, gets on Twitter and all these social media platforms, just denounces me as a shill for the deep state, a pedophile enabler.
	Elle just goes hard, Pizzagate is real, all this stuff, boom.
	And Elle's just making it rain.
	Oh, man, HP.
	I mean, that's the thing.
	Yeah, I dox you revealing that your name has always secretly been Michael Epstein.
	And then it blows the door off everything and my expose makes me famous and then I team up with Dinesh to make a cool movie about even more mules, you know?
	Even more mules than last time.
	One million mules!
	Eight billion mules.
	Everyone's a mule.
	The global mule conspiracy.
	What if we told you that the government was able to make even you, a red-blooded American patriot, a mule?
	They're tracking you with mule nanobots from the COVID vaccine and mule shedding.
	Take a look at this totally legitimate map of Washington, D.C.
	They're just like, that looks like New York City inverted.
	Shut up, it's Washington, D.C.
	The map is what we say it is.
	You're a mule!
	You're all mules!
	Planet of the mules.
	I'm laughing mostly because in the back of my head I'm just remembering Elle yelling, human mule!
	Oh yeah, human mule, baby.
	Human mule and mule shedding are now etched in my brain as ridiculously funny to me and only me.
	Okay, let's get back on track.
	So Hayley, did you go to any of the events inside of this event?
	Did you go to any of the panels?
	Or were you just lurking doing your lad on the inside thing from the hallway?
	I lurked.
	I lurked.
	I saw some of your photos.
	You never answered my question on Blue Sky.
	I asked you if you ended up trying that Woke Tears water.
	Okay, let's talk about Woke Tears Water.
	Let's talk about a lot of things.
	According to the sign I read, it is the most hilarious anti-woke brand.
	Just so funny, according to that sign.
	The most hilarious one, everybody.
	You wouldn't believe it.
	So, the thing about AmericaFest is that it's the same fucking thing every year.
	These events are all the same thing.
	It's literally Comic-Con for, like, the Fox News lineup and the conservative, like, B-tier lineup.
	Um, and they all just, they just love selling t-shirts and getting photos with people and posing and giving little speeches and hearing little claps.
	um like it feeds their soul or whatever they have um so these are very the same thing you know it's more kind of like about what's going on on the inside i know what you're gonna say i know your speeches benny johnson i actually watched benny johnson's full speech even i don't even know why i i he i wasn't looking for anything on benny johnson They're just like, sure, let's sit here and let's watch this.
	And it's just like he's sharing just the memes that he puts on the timeline.
	And it's like he's just putting them up on the big screen, telling the same jokes that he told in the tweets.
	It's like this is I've seen this all before.
	You listen to Tucker.
	He kind of does the same thing.
	So the real fun is in the on the floor where people are hanging out.
	There's a lot of Was this why you were at the event?
	Were you there to find the lad?
	these events. There was some speed dating going on and Charlie and Benny and all of
	them are really emphasizing like, go meet your girl out there.
	Oh, was this why you were at the event? Were you there to find the lad?
	To find love.
	Were you there to find your beau?
	Yep.
	I just need a fascist in my life because I really like it when you date someone who's
	your polar opposite, you know?
	Yeah.
	You don't have enough people to call you bitch in your life.
	You need somebody to really bring that sort of energy to you, like, on a daily basis.
	I don't have enough people talking down to me constantly.
	Like, the event is an interesting... It's interesting vibes, because, like, you said earlier, like, they really wanna...
	Kind of lean into that like, hey, young conservative boy.
	Yes, you are right in your misogyny and your beliefs and your hatred.
	It is fucked up that girls don't want to sleep with you.
	Let's talk about that.
	It literally is.
	They were they were they were showing the chart that was like, look, Jen, younger boys right now, they are currently more conservative than ever.
	And a lot of you guys are like, Oh, well, all these women now are too liberal because more women are liberal now than ever.
	And he's like, that's why you got to meet your girl at Turning Point.
	And it's like, ew, stop.
	Stop trying to make these children hook up.
	Stop putting them in hotels together.
	Stop it.
	Stop it.
	I can feel what you're doing, Charlie Kirk.
	There's a lot of, like, hook up.
	Last year, they had that The Right Stuff app.
	Um, there and they had this like pop out kind of cardboard cutout that had two faces in it and it said like you're a match and they kept like forcing it on people like, you know, like, Hey, you two want to take a picture in the in the right stuff?
	You're a match thing like no fuck off.
	Damn, so if I'm taking notes properly, Haley's saying that this is an event packed full of older women that are, like, incentivized to get busy with the guys there?
	Excellent.
	No, no, no, no.
	They don't care about the older women.
	The older women, you guys go to MAGA Mall down the end in the Exhibition Hall, and you go buy your $200 purses and your Trump flags.
	This part of the event is marketed towards the actual, like, Turning Point kids.
	They want them to hook up.
	It's very...
	They're very open about it.
	Okay, but they're also like conservative creeps.
	So, you know, me as an older man, probably not as unwelcome there as you might expect.
	So score, baby!
	Let's meet a 20 year old!
	Woo!
	That place must be some of the grimmest shit in the history of Earth.
	I do not expect anyone there to be a plant.
	Unless I was just willing to have sex with the opposition, I don't think I could get horny in a place like that.
	Seems like kind of an easy way for somebody to infiltrate you.
	There was an older couple that was like in line that you could hear them
	like talking to a younger gentleman about their daughter.
	Like, you should meet our daughter.
	Like, there's people there with the intent.
	Like, we're finding a good conservative boy for our girl.
	And we're sending our girl out in the lion's den in there.
	That's gross, dude.
	It is.
	It's really gross.
	And they talk down to the women there.
	They really, because they don't want you to go to college anyway.
	There's the anti-college message already because it's a Turning Point USA event.
	But man, with the women, they really are just like, you should not go to college, you should have babies, like, as many as young as possible.
	Benny Johnson and Charlie Couric both emphasized in their speeches on stage, even if you can't afford them.
	Which is not a good message, in my opinion.
	Yeah, dude.
	Surely the state will provide for them.
	You know, it's kind of like, If someone else was saying this, you would call them a slur.
	You know?
	But it's okay, I guess, when Christian nationalists, fascists... In fact, even if they were just buying groceries, you would probably call it a slur.
	True.
	This sounds like the worst place ever.
	But it does also sound like it might be, you know...
	Like, you're doing the Lord's work by being there multiple days, multiple years.
	It seems like the sort of thing that, for me, would be like a kitschy sort of people-watching safari to do, like, once and only once in my lifetime.
	I collect so much stuff from these events, because they give out free merch, where the free water, where the, not free water, they did not have free water, but where the woke water is.
	Again, you keep talking my question about the woke water.
	What don't you want us to know?
	We'll get to it, but yeah.
	Okay, so downstairs there's like a, they call it the main hall.
	It's just where all the sponsors are and you gotta pay like up to, you gotta pay like $10,000 to booth there.
	That's wild.
	And down there you'll see a couple like militias kind of promoting their shit.
	There was one there just straight up with their drones that they have on the border.
	Like just showing them off, giving out their business cards.
	This here's a tactical wallet.
	Literally.
	There's so much of that.
	There's so much.
	Pull out your wallet.
	Might save your life someday.
	Tactical wallet.
	That'll be $149.99.
	But for you, $129.99.
	There is so much of that energy.
	It's just like, hey, you want a job?
	Have you ever considered an anti-woke job?
	Here's our anti-woke job board.
	Here's your anti-woke water.
	Here's your anti-woke perfume.
	And here's your anti-woke lip gloss.
	And here's your anti-woke.
	It's so much of that.
	It's just like, hey, we get it.
	You make a product that exists, but you're trying to market it.
	So you just slap anti-woke on it.
	That's kind of the Tears thing.
	It's just like they were charging.
	They weren't charging.
	They were not giving out water for the Woke Tears water.
	They were not giving out samples of the Woke Tears water.
	They did give out koozies and I grabbed a couple.
	They were referring you to their website where you could get a pack of 24 water bottles for like 40 fucking bucks.
	Could you just not buy it on the site?
	No!
	Did it have any available for purchase there?
	No.
	So you couldn't quench your thirst with Woke Tears?
	Mm-mm.
	So you had a woke thirst?
	I did.
	I did have a woke thirst.
	Damn it.
	I hate it when my woke thirst goes unslaked.
	Oh, Kennedy had a booth there for his campaign, his 2024 campaign.
	It wasn't him.
	It was like a PAC representing him.
	But the funniest fucking sticker was there because it's like considering the event you're at.
	It said, make fascism unfashionable again.
	And it's like, sir, you have a booth at Fascist Con.
	No way, man.
	Patriot Con.
	Patriot Con.
	Yeah.
	One of the biggest sponsors was this thing called Fisher Capital, which is like an investment firm or something.
	Is that where all the fishermen congregate?
	No, I don't think so.
	It's not the capital of fish as far as I know.
	But Roger Stone is their spokesperson.
	And the guy who is like the CEO gave a speech there.
	Um, and I was like, dude, what is this investment firm?
	Who would actually do this?
	And, uh, the first thing that popped up is that they are being charged with investment fraud for targeting older adults.
	So that was the main, that was the main advertiser at America Fest this year.
	You want to know who the, uh, big star was this year though, kind of every other is kind of like a big star.
	Was it the Q Shaman getting into the fight with Matt Gaetz?
	It was just Q Shaman in general.
	He was the absolute celebrity at this event.
	He was in the media.
	area, like a pretty good portion of the event, just taking photos with the line of people that wanted
	selfies with him.
	And that included many elected officials and just representatives
	and far right fuckwads all around.
	He was having the time of his fucking life at that event.
	Did you get your selfie?
	No, I did not.
	I did get a photo of him, like, yelling at some kid.
	It's almost like you didn't go there to have any fun at all.
	I did!
	I, you know... Oh, I was just giving you credit for being there in more of, like, a journalist capacity.
	But, uh, yeah, there was a lot of little fights.
	Like you said, he got into a fight with Matt Gaetz.
	Mike, explain.
	The one thing that I laugh about when it comes to the Kennedy booth thing is that this whole Kennedy thing is- Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up, hold up, hey, hey, hey, whoa, whoa, slow your horses there, Chief.
	I don't know if you checked out there, but Haley gave you a specific prompt.
	He is- He's caught in the sauce of Kennedy.
	Leave him alone.
	He's getting it.
	No, I'm sorry.
	I'm sorry that I, I'm sorry.
	Literally, my headset cut out.
	So when the prompt, when she gave me, I missed.
	If you just let the razzling continue, I would have re-given you the prompt.
	That was the intent.
	We'll cut all this out.
	The audience will never hear any of this.
	This is very unprofessional.
	Obviously, we're just going to crush this.
	Okay, back to it.
	I'll just be like, well, Mike, did you check out there for a second?
	Haley gave you a real specific prod buddy.
	She asked you about the fight between the Q and John and our buddy Gates.
	I was on the ground, so I didn't get to keep up as much as what was being on Twitter.
	Did he deploy any of the jet fighters from his forehead?
	That's his special move.
	He's got a big forehead.
	Basically, what I saw on Twitter was pretty much all the QAnon promoters Aggressively went to Gates's defense.
	They called the Q-Shaman a deep state plant.
	He's back to being an infiltrator and a shill.
	His existence inside QAnon is so bizarre because Like basically for like three hours on January 6th, he was the biggest hero in the world.
	And then once they realized that January 6th had like fucked them and it was bad, they immediately pivoted to him being dog shit and a deep state infiltrator.
	Then Tucker released the videos of him trying to calm everybody down long after the riot had happened.
	And they were like, Oh, he was framed by the deep state.
	Oh, the Q Shaman's a good guy.
	Oh, this is all bullshit.
	And.
	Now that Chansley's running for the House as a libertarian and he might siphon votes away from the Republicans, he is a bad guy again.
	And the fact that he went at Matt Gaetz was like, Hey, Matt Gaetz, when are you going to like free the January 6th prisoners or do anything for us?
	I spent time in prison for this shit.
	And Matt Gaetz was just like, fuck off, buddy.
	I ain't going to be seen in public with you.
	Immediately all of QAnon was just like, this?
	Deep State Infiltrator trying to make us look bad.
	To hell with you, fake shaman who's not Q Shaman.
	You're the Boo Shaman in our eyes.
	Boo!
	Boo!
	Or whatever.
	I'm trying to be as unclever as they are.
	But yeah, I mean, it's just, it's amazing how...
	There was a 9-11 truther booth there.
	himself in the QAnon brand. And yet half the time they hate him
	half the time he's a bad guy in their eyes. It's so strange.
	There was a 911 truther booth there. Have you ever heard of Richard Gage?
	Nope.
	I guess I bet Stephanie would know. But I guess he was like a
	pretty big like 911 like conspiracy theorist. Like inside a jobber kind of guy. He he was his shit. It's like
	architects, architect, architects and engineers for CEO truth or for
	architects and engineers for 911 truth. He's the CEO. But he he
	He had a booth there, obviously, with his bullshit.
	And there was a guy working the booth who was handing out secret flyers that was like even more 9-11 conspiracy shit.
	And he was like, that dude's a plant.
	He's a Fed.
	I'm talking about Chansley.
	He's a Fed plant.
	And he said like the reason that he thinks that Chansley is not Legit, and he's a plant, is because he didn't get shot on January 6th, and they paraded him around the Capitol with cameras.
	So, that guy's brain is also cooked, and he hates translating.
	Yeah, I mean, only one person got shot.
	Even that was, like, through a door.
	So there was a lot of, like, infighting.
	Oh, I actually saw someone, like, the last couple days posted a thing about how Ashley Babbitt was an FBI plant, and they double-crossed her and killed her.
	So, yeah, I mean, everyone's a plant now.
	She knew too much.
	Yeah, everybody would love to think that, because that is so much cooler than what actually happened.
	That's the whole... That was the part I miss about QAnon.
	I miss when QAnon was taking big swings that just make the stupid nonsense of our mundane existence, like, spicy.
	Wrong, but spicy.
	So there was that fight and then there was also a pretty viral video that was on the timeline from a black gay Turning Point USA influencer named Rob Smith.
	He's been like a long time Turning Point influencer.
	At a post-AmericaFest-like event.
	It's not, like, actually tied to AmericaFest, but it's hosted by a group that has, like, a booth in AmericaFest and is, like, always at the Turning Point events.
	It's called Republicans for National Renewal.
	Amanda Moore actually has written about them.
	That's one of her groups that, you know, Frank.
	But anyway, so they hold an event that's usually like across the street that's a little bit more explicitly fascist and white nationalist.
	This year there was rumor that Nick Fuentes was going to have a rally across the street from AmericaFest.
	He canceled kind of last minute and so a bunch of his like little Nazi fuckwads were wandering around and were in a In the Turning Point conference and just kind of like being annoying.
	They were harassing this like Asian um like right-wing commentator inside the AmericaFest building.
	They kept like following him around and stalking him because he's like someone who kind of used to be in the movement and then like started shit-talking Fuentes so now they're like we must harass.
	That doesn't make any sense.
	They're all on the same team.
	Oh, for sure.
	And then, yeah, they spotted Rob Smith, the Black Gay Turning Point USA commentator at this Republicans for National Renewal after party and started calling him the N-word and F-slurs and literally in front of the politicians that were there because, uh, what's his name?
	J.R.
	Majewski said he heard them calling Rob slur anti-black slurs and like quite a few people like
	who were there confirmed what happened.
	And Rob posted about it Rob Smith posted about it on Twitter.
	He was on CNN last night talking about it about like yeah the Nazis that.
	It was great because that's the sort of shit I support because of the politics I endorse.
	No, there's like a, there's like a little, there's like a A well-known war between the Charlie Kirk Turning Point USA youth and the Nick Fuente's more explicit We Hate the Jews Nazi youth.
	And they kind of go to the Kirk events to explicitly harass, kind of like, and also just ask questions to move the needle.
	I mean, that's all well and good, but if you're an influencer for that side of the battle that you're at, like, you know, your team's home field in Patriot Land or whatever, like... I just had to ask a person like that.
	What happens if your side wins?
	Like, what happens to you?
	Specifically you.
	Like, what is going to happen to you when your side wins?
	Like, what are you doing here?
	Like, that's always my big question with Charlie Kirk and all these people is, is how do you think you're actually going to stop Nick Fuentes and the rest of these absolute nuts from getting control of things?
	You've got Donald Trump talking about how immigrants are poisoning the blood of America and all this stuff, and yet you're trying to be the quote-unquote sensible, centrist, Reasonable Republican.
	And like, where's the actual line between you and the Grapers?
	Cause I really don't know where it is.
	If you could ever explain that to me, Charlie, I'd love to hear it.
	Like, are you going to acknowledge the Holocaust is real?
	Is that your bold line in the sand that we can't cross?
	Because man, that is a incredibly low bar to clear.
	Like I can jump that bar.
	That's not tough.
	Like tell me how you actually differentiate yourself from the actual scum that are quote unquote, crashing your events.
	There's no differentiating them.
	Unfortunately, I just realized how long we've been discussing this point, so I will try to segue Haley to the second part of the Arizona Nonsense segment of the week, which is apparently Carrie Lake is doing a thing or did a thing.
	Oh, it just means her case is going on.
	But she lost today.
	The announcement was made that the case against her is now actually moving forward.
	The defamation case is moving forward, so that's good.
	Mike gave me a note about Carrie Damn Lake, so I brought it up.
	I didn't think it was in the notes.
	Yeah, because also with the Kirk thing, like his final segment was a thing with Tim Pool.
	It was like a roundtable with Tim Pool and he was straight up like, you know, we're in the state where they are trying to replace you.
	Like, they're trying to replace white people in Arizona, and it's like, dog, it's called Arizona.
	Like, it's called Arizona.
	That's not even, it's not even a Spanish word.
	It's fucking, it's an indigenous word.
	You fucking, you fucking piece of shit from Arlington Heights coming here, moving to Scottsdale, complaining about Mexicans.
	I'm sure that his position on that matter would be that, sure, it was an indigenous word, and then his people took it.
	Like, they took everything else from those people, and they're never giving it back, and shut up.
	Because he's a dickhead, you know?
	So anyway, that's kind of AmericaFest.
	There was a fake bomb rat, but we don't have time, so I guess I'll move on.
	Okay, yes, because unfortunately we did have some big headline news for this week, so Mike, play that sweet bumper.
	From the digital headlines to the digital front lines, it's Q's in the News.
	Yeah, so last night, as of this recording, Colorado, off the top rope, coming in hot.
	We'll turn it over to Mike to see how likely this is to stick and to see what the immediate ramifications of this are.
	Mike, good news?
	tried to incite seditious treason against the United States of America, and that disqualifies
	you from that per the Constitution.
	So yeah, big doings.
	We'll turn it over to Mike to see how likely this is to stick and to see what the immediate
	ramifications of this are.
	Mike, good news?
	Question mark?
	Why don't I feel excited?
	Well, I mean, I see a lot of people talking about how the Supreme Court is probably going
	to scuttle this.
	And I do think that that is very possible.
	I mean, why not pack a Supreme Court if not for exactly this?
	Exactly, exactly.
	But I mean, he packed the Supreme Court and then they laughed at all of his lawsuits to overturn the 2020 election.
	So it's not like these justices have ever been like, Oh man, I really owe Donnie Two Scoops one.
	I better do his bidding here.
	Okay, well fair enough.
	So let's get right into this point of contention because I'm one of the pessimists who do think, like, I think the Supreme Court is broken and is definitely going to fuck this up.
	But I would love to be wrong.
	The Supreme Court, right?
	I mean, even, like, packed though it is, like, you're right.
	They have, they've shut down Trump on a bunch of the stupid shit that he's tried to get up to.
	However, that being said, Trump currently big frontrunner for the Republican nominee for the president.
	Obviously, a lot of Republican support for him, so that means, like, a tremendous amount more pressure from That base as a whole on the Supreme Court to be like, hey, this is why we put you here.
	You gotta say seditious treason is okay for a little while.
	You gotta be like, hey, it's fine for a guy to do that.
	I mean, it's obviously not, but we need you to say that it is.
	I mean, I think on that front, I think the main thing that the Supreme Court is going to do is try to claim that he hasn't been convicted of any of these things, and that is why they would overturn what Colorado is saying, which then makes the meatball that extra spicy when Trump is convicted in the January 6th case, because, as we talked about previously, Trump is trying to slow walk it.
	He's trying to avoid the March 4th start date for that trial.
	Jack Smith basically outmaneuvered him by going directly to the Supreme Court.
	And all their litigation, all their paperwork has to be in this week, I believe, on that front about if this is a good thing or a bad thing.
	Because Trump's lawyers are like, oh, we want to work on Christmas.
	And they're like, fine, get it done before Christmas, assholes.
	So, so, so, okay, let's pivot here.
	Cause again, there's a lot of stuff to unpack here.
	We're probably going to be a little scattershot.
	Cause it's like, again, big doings.
	So do we think that it's good?
	Like, is it good news that Colorado has made this sort of proclamation ahead of all the shit?
	Cause obviously, you know, Trump is trying to delay the trial so that he can hopefully get the presidency and just be like, well, you know what, actually I didn't do a crime.
	Like, and you can't, and you can't try me for it.
	Uh, so do we think that this is, like, a good thing to hopefully sort of push it in the direction of, we gotta get this done speedily?
	Because at this point, like, a whole ass state needs a determination on it.
	Like, we need to go to the booth in New York to find out what the fuck's going on.
	Yeah, we gotta review the legitimacy of Trump's candidacy.
	Yeah, I do think that is important on that level.
	And I, but I also think that Trump is, even if he wins on this, on the 14th Amendment stuff, I do think the Supreme Court is just going to rule that, look, you don't have immunity.
	The president is not a dictator.
	I just don't think they're going to fuck around with it because again, those guys don't care.
	They really don't care about Trump.
	And they want, they're all looking at this as like, we can fuck with America for the next 20 odd years from our perch of power.
	And we just have to like, we have to boil the frog.
	We just have to turn the heat up a little every so often.
	A bad ruling here, a bad ruling there.
	Like actually giving Trump this That runs the risk of angering America to the point where Biden gets reelected, the Democrats have the power, and now America's mad at us.
	And then Biden's like, you know what?
	Maybe we need 13 justices on the Supreme Court.
	And that's actually a thing that could happen and could pass.
	So I think that their mindset on this is to just Keep their heads down and just do their damage slowly and methodically.
	Don't go crazy all in.
	Woo, Trump!
	We're gonna do it!
	I don't... I mean, I would be floored if they were like, nope, Colorado's right.
	Boom, this is totally acceptable.
	If that happened, I mean...
	That would be nuts.
	The Republicans would be totally destroyed.
	Yeah, I mean, considering one member of the Supreme Court is, I mean, allegedly a comedy show, I'll put Joseph, like, you know, just jokes.
	But, funny joke, one of the Supreme Court justices literally just bought and paid for, like, 100% in the pocket of just conservative interest people with money.
	He was just like, hey, I'm in real bad debt here.
	They were just like, we got you, just do what we say.
	And he was like, fine, I'm cool with that.
	Right, yeah, literally.
	The story came out where he was like, in 2000, literally over 20 years ago, Clarence Thomas was just like, hey guys, I need more money or I might just retire from the court and let Clinton appoint my successor.
	And then Republicans were just like, here's piles of cash!
	And then he was like, listen, listen!
	His bold move earned, surprisingly, earned him a lot of friends.
	Friends who were willing to take him on vacations and buy him presents.
	It's just like, wow, those Republicans really do just love a guy who speaks truth.
	They're just like, you know what, fuck you guys, I'm not making enough money.
	And they're just like, no, but suddenly we would like to be lifelong friends with you and your wife, please.
	Your wife who's basically Q-pilled.
	I just, oh my God.
	If somehow, it's really wild that like this level of corruption at any other level of court, that judge would be arrested immediately.
	But apparently Clarence Thomas on the Supreme Court, it's totally okay that this corruption is just open and accepted on the highest court in America.
	It's super awesome that we're allowing this.
	It's just the best.
	It's the absolute best.
	So yeah, yeah, I think, I think we know where Thomas's vote is on this is, uh, so it will be up to the other, uh, the other five nuts that, uh, they've put on the court to make that decision.
	But I, I feel like their punt is going to be sort of, oh, he hasn't been convicted yet, so what can we say of it?
	And then he gets convicted in, I don't know, May or whatever.
	And then the Supreme Court is just gonna be like, oh, oh, uh, We'll decide it after November.
	We'll figure it out way too late and do the whole gutless, let the voters decide nonsense, which I seem to remember when a certain Supreme Court justice died right before the 2020 election.
	We were all, and the Democrats were like, let the voters decide who should replace that dead Justice, and Trump and the Republicans were like, nope!
	New Justice, immediately!
	Mike, you're misremembering.
	The situation was, Obama was President, and it was his turn to appoint somebody, and the voters had decided because he was President, and then they were just like, well, we should really let the new voters decide, like, 18 months from now.
	Oh, right, right, yes!
	And all the other, you know, all the other Republicans were just like, that sounds perfectly reasonable to us.
	Why would you wait almost two full years?
	Fucking unreal shit.
	That's how policy works, right?
	Yeah.
	Dude, that was like maybe the angriest I've ever been at my government.
	And like, I know that there's a lot of atrocities that the government has done that I don't know about or that I should care about more, like the atomic bomb and stuff like that.
	But in my living memory, the angriest I've ever been was when Republicans were just like, Actually, nah, the President doesn't get to appoint the Supreme Court Justice.
	And, like, there was no repercussions for that whatsoever.
	Everybody just did that and it was totally cool.
	Yeah, oh yeah.
	And that's basically it.
	That's the Republican mindset on everything, is we are just going to see if the voters are dumb enough to let us get away with this.
	We're just going to see if we can run enough slime in the media and just paper over this egregious abuse of power that we're currently engaged in.
	And it turned out that Hillary's emails were so powerful that they got away with it.
	That's their game plan.
	That's always their game plan.
	It's just... And of course it wasn't enough, because now their next plan for the big power grab is just, like, you know, actually just, like, seizing the military and, like, go after your enemies and shit.
	Like, big boy real dictator stuff.
	But only on the first day.
	Yeah.
	On January 20th, 2025, The Purge!
	It's literally that.
	We're just going to have The Purge.
	It's going to be great.
	Oh, man.
	Oh, man.
	Yeah, it's such good stuff.
	But yeah, I mean, you know, I think that everybody would love this to be just great news across the board.
	And maybe it is an opportunity for the Supreme Court to just be like, you know, maybe this situation, like maybe we're not broken.
	Maybe we can make a correct ruling every once in a while.
	Just be like, yeah, actually, that was kind of fucked up when he did.
	He shouldn't be president.
	I mean, I doubt it.
	I think that, like, Mike's answer is probably the most correct one, where they're just like, he hasn't been convicted of shit, so fucking pound sand or whatever.
	No amount of transcripts of people under oath in their own courts saying, hey, we did this because Donald Trump told us to do it is going to paper over the fact that he has been convicted of shit.
	So yeah, look forward to that.
	Maybe I'm wrong.
	How do people hope?
	How does it work?
	Can somebody explain it to me?
	How do you hope, said the robot boy?
	What is hope?
	Anyway, let's move into more, like, headier, deeper, more fuckin' QAnon-focused waters, because apparently, according to Mike, surprising to me, we're on Pizzagate 2, baby!
	Did they install a basement?
	Did the mad lads actually do it?
	Did the construction begin, hey?
	We could use a second level on our pizza establishment for some more ping pong!
	So, right now, Pizzagate is being repopularized and trying to be brought back into QAnon mainstream bullshit.
	Tomorrow night, I believe, Liz Crokan is going to have Out of Shadows streamed on X, so Elon's just letting them put that dog shit on the platform.
	Oh man, I've never been more disappointed to not be using X anymore, otherwise we could livestream.
	We could live-tweet it.
	Let's fucking go.
	Actually, I'll probably be at work as well.
	Yeah.
	So basically, I think General Flynn is going to be there.
	They're doing a big thing where they're going to play Out of Shadows, and then they're going to bring all the grifters in.
	And they've also said that there may be mystery VIP guests at the- We're still back.
	We're still fucking back.
	Oh, we're so fucking back.
	Oh, man.
	So, I'm really wondering, is Elon going to be one of the mystery VIPs?
	Because that would be... I fucking hope that he is.
	This might be the most exciting thing to happen to the podcast in a while.
	We need Pizzagate to come back.
	I mean, no, of course not.
	This might have been in the HBO QAnon documentary where Colin Holbeck found Ron and all that stuff, but they interviewed the QAA guys.
	I've seen the QAA guys have an interview where one of them said, the worse it is for America, the better it is for us.
	And it's just like, that's, I mean, that's also true for us.
	I mean, recoil at the idea of us needing a pizza gate all you want, but what we could really use is another January 6th.
	I mean, the bump that came after Jan 6th was...
	Mwah!
	Oh, my son!
	Like you wouldn't believe!
	It's no wonder why the media just loves Trump.
	You know, it's man, fascism, it's crazy, isn't it?
	Anyways, I'm not.
	So, yeah, Mike's really advocating for more fucking pizza gate, obviously.
	I'm just kidding.
	You know, honestly, though, Wendy Rogers, state senator, of Arizona retweeted the wildest Pizzagate image I've ever seen in my life.
	It was like a couple 69ing on a pizza.
	Oh, yeah, yeah, I saw that.
	Oh, that was the weirdest art.
	Oh, I was not bored until you said art.
	I was like, I'm down for this image.
	Two people 69ing on a pizza?
	Fuck, yeah.
	It was hilarious.
	It was like, hey, we're back.
	We're so fucking back.
	When I saw that on the timeline, I was like, we're so fucking back.
	I'm going to get that as a tattoo.
	I'm kind of curious.
	Mike, in the show notes, said Pizzagate 2.
	I shouldn't say that.
	Because this is, if anything, this is like the fucking director's cut of Pizzagate, or it's like the Pizzagate, you know, 20th anniversary re-release or whatever.
	This is not a sequel.
	This is a retread.
	Yeah.
	Which is fine.
	I mean, you know, sometimes you need a retread to drum up hype for the product.
	So it appears that Mike Smith, Liz Crokan, and General Flynn are the three main guests of the livestream relaunch of Out of Shadows.
	Mike Smith is the guy that Liz and General Flynn are parasiting the money off of to do this.
	He is the guy that got pilled because he suffered a crippling accident on set at a at a film, and his doctor, who was teaching him how to pee again, pilled him.
	His doctor was an absolute... Oh yeah, I remember this guy.
	He seemed like a real California dude, bro.
	Yes.
	And his buddy, who they recorded on a boat for some reason, like, that guy was like, I only got three hours to film my segment for Out of Shadows, and I'm on a boat.
	There's no audio producer good enough in the world to filter out all of this boat noise.
	Yes, exactly.
	It's all coming back to me.
	It's been so long since we did what we do out of chastity.
	One of the many bonus series available to our members on Patreon.
	More on that later, though.
	I'm trying to get that back right now.
	But yeah, fucking crazy stuff.
	I mean, in a perfect world... Well, I mean, okay, so perfect world is a bit of a stretch, but in a more magical, heightened reality world, Their mystery guest would be somebody in Comic Ping Pong wearing a GoPro who's just like, yo, look at this shit I found.
	And then they like fucking twist the knobs on the pizza oven a certain way and it slides and reveals a secret entrance to their basement.
	And everybody would just be like, yo, what the fuck?
	Shit is wild!
	Oh my god.
	That's what Elon needs to do.
	He needs to use his billions to build a fake comet ping pong and then make it look like it's actually, oh my god, it'd be so great.
	And then just get a bunch of people worked up in a tizzy, get that guy shot to death before coming out and just being like, no, it was always meant to be a simulation.
	There was a disclaimer somewhere that like, you know, whatever.
	We used AI to generate the real comic ping pong based on, you know, it was an artistic choice to make it look like footage.
	Yes, exactly.
	It's like, well, somebody shot that guy to death.
	You're on the hook, Elon.
	Fuck you.
	So on top of this Out of Shadows, Pizzagate bullshit, We've also been having a rebranding of the Wayfair scandal, which is not a scandal.
	It was just nonsense created by lunatics on the internet, where they looked at all these aggressively overpriced things on these websites, and they were like, this is obviously code for child trafficking and money laundering, and this cabinet is called Savannah, and there's a girl named Savannah who went missing a week ago, so it's obviously her.
	After the whole Wayfair thing died down, they've now redone it, and they've been targeting Walmart and Etsy.
	And there have been a lot of people who are doing art or doll makers, and these people are being targeted and harassed by QAnon adherents.
	A Twitter user named Bootsy Cynic, who has the handle blamebootsy, did some legwork and actually reached out to some of the people that have these accounts.
	One person is a doll maker who makes the Blythe style of dolls, the dolls with the big heads and big eyes.
	And this person had like five-star reviews, excellent work, people love their dolls.
	And the Kunon people just started harassing this person until they deactivated their account.
	Because this person is selling very expensive crafted dolls for like $200, $300 a pop.
	And people are like, you're selling a kid!
	Admit it, you piece of shit!
	You're a human trafficker!
	And This person was like, I'm out.
	I'm done.
	I'm not going to sell these dolls anymore if I'm getting harassed like this.
	So they're now actually harassing and antagonizing artists and craftspeople persons who are trying to do this stuff.
	And what Bootsy also found out was that a lot of this stuff where they have this AI piece of art for like $50,000 or whatever, That is done to game the algorithm, because when you put really high-priced stuff in your gallery, that games the system to think that you're in demand and that you're more sought after.
	So your lower-priced real art actually gets into the search engines more likely, more often, and more people see your work.
	So this is literally like a form of This is SEO.
	It's just a form of like manipulating an algorithm so you show up on the front page more often than you're supposed to.
	And so people have been just gaming Etsy's system to get their stuff in front of more eyeballs.
	But now these nuts are looking at this and being like, $50,000 for a piece of art?
	Oh, that has to be human trafficking.
	So, and it's like, no, like almost all the people that talk to Bootsy were like, Oh no, it's an open secret in the Etsy community that this is a thing you do to get yourself promoted and get yourself more noticed.
	Well, I guess... Fuck Etsy, then?
	Okay.
	I mean, in addition to fuck the QAnon people, because go nuts, but like, you know... It's an open secret in our community that we have to do this weird fuckery search engine optimization to get our stuff to the top of the web page.
	To get in the algorithm?
	Hey, fuck Etsy.
	Also, for a variety of reasons.
	Do you know how much of that shit is just coming from, like, Chinese labor overseas?
	No fucking handcrafted anything has ever even come anywhere close to it.
	Yeah, fuck Etsy.
	I don't know if anyone's gotten that memo.
	I thought that memo... I thought that memo was pretty public.
	I mean...
	Looks Around is confused that people are still supporting Etsy.
	Same goes for you, Twitter users.
	I'm still looking down my nose at you.
	My nose gets higher every day.
	That's my little Twitter song.
	Stop using it.
	I have a plan to get us money on the Patreon then.
	We're gonna put a $50,000 tier And we'll just put the incentive as a pizza emoji and eventually someone will bake us and we'll go viral and there'll be virality around the Patreon and that's how we get it.
	You know what, Hayley?
	You've never had a better idea than this one.
	A $50,000 Patreon.
	The Pizza Tier.
	The Cheese Pizza Tier.
	The Cheese Pizza Tier.
	Yes!
	The Cheese Pizza Tier.
	100%.
	What do you give to that tier?
	An Adventures in Hellworld Cheese Pizza Party at your honor.
	Yes, exactly right.
	Oh, literally everything Liz Crokan has ever said is a code word is part of that tier.
	It's just cheese pizza, hot dogs, handkerchiefs, just all of it.
	All of it.
	It's boom.
	Yeah.
	Oh, I'm doing it.
	I'm doing it tonight.
	The $50,000 cheese pizza tier is happening tonight.
	100%.
	100%.
	We're trolling these people.
	I'm going to bang those things for 50k.
	Let's go.
	Yes.
	Also, listeners, if you want to actually donate to that tier, we'll actually fly you out for a pizza party.
	Yes, 100%.
	Oh yeah, I mean, they're gonna need to see what they're getting.
	Like, you don't want to go into the cheese pizza blind.
	This is a sensitive thing.
	You need to see the pizza that you're getting before...
	I'm laughing mostly because there's this unbelievably ridiculous fake screenshot of someone's like, we hacked Comet Ping Pong and we found the secret documents.
	And there was this one thing where it was like, we still have three cheese pizzas left from the last party.
	They're in poor health and not expected to survive another month.
	Bidding starts and I'm like...
	Why are you using code and then stop using code after the first word?
	I mean, why did you not say kids instead of cheese pizza if you're talking about they won't survive?
	It just doesn't make any sense.
	It's so dumb.
	I'd be pretty bummed out if I got invited to a pizza party and when I got there it was that like fucking waxy crust, low quality, north of Boston, Greek style pizza.
	It's like barely edible shit.
	I'd be like, dude.
	Oh no, I'm paying 50k for this.
	Oh, I'm taking them to the Gulu Gulu.
	We're going to downtown Salem.
	That place is great.
	I got a good pizza place near me if anyone wants to hit up Phoenix instead of where you guys are at.
	We could also just, you know, with that kind of money, we could take a trip to New York and go get some really good pizza.
	We'll Google best pizza in America and we'll go to that place.
	We'll contact the dude at Barstool Sports.
	Isn't that his deal?
	I see him on TikTok periodically just standing in front of a place just being like, this pizza's an 8 out of 10!
	We can go to Barstool Sports.
	They open one here, you know?
	And I'm just like, fuck, I didn't know that was a career path.
	I always hate it when I find somebody who's doing a thing where it's just like, really?
	I could have done that?
	That could have been my job?
	See this Cheez-It?
	I do.
	I'm sort of jealous.
	I'm fucking snacky as fuck right now.
	I need to order lunch after this.
	Guess what I'm going to be excited for?
	For the morning!
	Lunch!
	That's a little fudge treat.
	A little foreshadowing for the listeners.
	Okay, speaking of the listeners, let us transition into our listener mailbag so we can answer at least one listener question this week.
	Our listeners got questions, we got answers.
	It's time for Q&A.
	SubZeroShirt asks, when I think about all the digital soldiers who've left the battlefield, like Joe M, Major Dad, Julian's Rum, and QTOT, it reminds me of a Survivor's reality show.
	Who's going to be the last person on the island?
	Will it be Liz Crokan?
	I don't really, it's really interesting as to who is actually going to hang on to this thing until the absolute bitter end.
	Because, I mean, Liz is kind of really one note about this shit.
	She's just like Pizzagate all day every day.
	But a lot of people are like fully just QAnon branded and don't really have an outlet.
	Like Jordan Sather can get into Crank Cures and all that kind of stuff.
	And like Praying Medic will just go back to selling faith healing classes and just doing that shit.
	There are some people that are just full on, I love Trump and I love Q and that's really it.
	And like, I don't know, like again, the shelf life of a cult that's based around a 77 year old man who's very overweight and obviously in cognitive decline.
	Um, it's not great.
	So I just think like Joe Rambo and like the Matrix guy, like those guys just don't really have like, I don't know, the skill to really pivot off of that.
	So I, I kind of feel like Matrix and Liz Croak and are going to be sitting there at the end going like, man, how do we, how do we keep making a buck off this shit?
	Like, Like, Matrix got fucking press passes to a Trump rally recently.
	Like, all this talk about, like, the Trump campaign not being totally Q adjacent.
	It's like, nope.
	They're just literally giving QAnon guys, like, straight up, like, press credentials to go to their shit.
	So it's like, man.
	But I don't, I just don't, I just see people like Liz and her ilk not having a escape route.
	I mean, Liz can quote unquote pivot to child trafficking, but her, her banner on Twitter is literally Donald, President Trump is fighting to end trafficking.
	It's like, no, he's not.
	He's golfing and complaining about being indicted.
	Like he doesn't care about kids.
	Get over that shit.
	So.
	I barely remember who any of those people are, so my answer is Pokimane.
	That's right, you heard it here first.
	Pokimane, deeply billed!
	Did you buy her cookies?
	Uh, no.
	Of course not.
	Why would I support any of that?
	I'm just, I was just keeping with the virality of things.
	I'm just keeping in the news.
	Until you had mentioned the cookies, I had already forgotten it, but then once you mentioned it, I was just like, oh, right, she was selling cookies.
	No, you jumped in there with a relevant pop culture.
	He doesn't make money, though.
	I think he loses money on the street.
	Ron's holding the bag right now.
	Ron and Jim are just sitting around going, well, we have our Nazi porn site and it's really not making a buck.
	Oh well.
	I mean, if you've read this book all the way to the end, you know who ends out on top, like, at the very, very end, is Stephen Caligula.
	That guy.
	What a guy.
	What a guy.
	Fuckin' Stephen Caligula.
	Always one step ahead.
	That son of a bitch.
	Spencer Watson said that he'd asked a question that was too long and broke Haley's brain last time, and then I said, do it anyways.
	We enjoy breaking Haley's brain.
	Do you think the non-Trump MAGA politicians in the U.S.
	are authentically bigoted and authoritarian, or do you think they're just doing this to adopt Trump's social properties to try to capture his audience?
	I think a lot of Americans have a lot of bigotries that they refuse to address because it makes them uncomfy.
	Um, and we're a very diverse country and not everybody is going to always get things right.
	So we should always be working to correct that.
	But again, some people take that as an affront on their character rather than just something that we should grow on.
	Um, so yeah, I think there is a lot of genuine bigotry in America and some people get really bloodthirsty about it.
	I think we see that throughout the whole world.
	Um, So yes, I think there's a lot of people that think they're hateful, but if they just got to maybe know their fellow man, maybe they wouldn't be susceptible to such hateful rhetoric that people like Trump like to manipulate people's emotions on.
	Is that a good answer this time around, sir?
	Well, I think he was more asking if these people were honestly bigoted or just opportunists who are just using bigotry to promote themselves.
	Of course they're honestly bigoted, they're Republicans.
	Yeah, I just said a lot of people are honestly bigoted, but I think they wouldn't be as bigoted if people didn't kind of buy in, like, make a whole career out of demonizing immigrants for people who are You know, they've never maybe met somebody like that.
	So they kind of buy into this because you know, they're kind of.
	Yeah, hateful.
	And maybe they wouldn't be as hateful if they got to know some people.
	That doesn't excuse anything.
	It's just like, I don't think any people, I don't think as many people are as genuinely down in their heart hateful as we like to believe.
	But I do think there is a lot of just like absolute racism in the Trump scene and all that.
	But I think I think some people are reachable, if that makes sense.
	Some people are fucking grifters who take advantage of this and they will never be reached because they are demons.
	That's the best way I can put it.
	They're demons.
	And then there's some people who are genuinely hateful who will always be hateful.
	But again, I think there are some people who are swingable, in my opinion.
	I talk to a lot of hateful people, and so, you know, it's whatever.
	Well, at the end of the day, for me, it's kind of a distinction without difference because this kind of pivots back to Elle selling out.
	It's like this whole thing where if you give these people the red meat they want, if you say the terrible things they want to hear, and in the back of your head, you're thinking, I'm just doing this to make a buck.
	It's like, well, you're still doing it.
	You're still putting that hatred out there.
	Hey, I'll be sure to pay the maximum amount in charitable donations to get the appropriate tax breaks every year.
	Trust you, I'll do exactly the bare minimum of charity when I sell out.
	You're not even really, it's not even in your heart, but you're just like, hey, peddling
	hate pays the bills, so gotta do it.
	And I just think that's a real- Hey, I'll be sure to pay the maximum amount in charitable
	donations to get the appropriate tax breaks every year.
	Trust you, I'll do exactly the bare minimum of charity.
	When I sell out, I'll be like, give them the bare minimum, please.
	Maybe I'll plant trees.
	I always love that.
	It's just like, yeah, fuck yeah, some trees.
	Do you see, like, kittens in Somalia or whatever?
	It's just like, yeah, trees.
	My short answer is that America's kind of racist, though.
	Yes.
	And finally, Eric the Deetsnip Operative says, I don't know if you guys have heard, but Rob Reiner is doing a podcast about the JFK assassination.
	Nobody's listening.
	Tell that fucking coward to debate migraines.
	That's what the people want to hear.
	Actually, that's true.
	I want that.
	I want the last episode to be horrible.
	Robbie Reisz, what are you afraid of, you fucking coward?
	I'm calling you out, Rob Reiner, you fucking coward.
	Debate my migraines!
	That's what the people want to hear.
	I want that.
	I want the last episode to be funny.
	What are you afraid of, you fucking coward?
	I'm calling you out, Rob Reiner, you fucking coward.
	I fully agree.
	I fully agree.
	Talk to me about it.
	I'm here for all of that.
	that. I.
	What I really think is what doesn't hurt him is that acceptance of JFK conspiracy theories is so omnipresent in America that it's just the norm.
	If you actually are in a room and somehow that comes up and you're like, no, Oswald did it.
	You're the kook.
	You're the weirdo.
	You're the one that gets put on the back foot immediately, and you have to defend why you don't believe in all the conspiracy theories.
	I watched a video of J.I.K.' 's assassination stuff independently because we had been talking about it.
	It came up on my algorithm because all of our devices are listening to us.
	So I watched it and like, I do not buy into the conspiracy theory, but from like a storytelling perspective, it is a really tightly packed one that makes it really easy to tell in a compelling way where you just sort of end, like you present the facts and then at the end you're just sort of like, seems kind of weird, doesn't it?
	And then you just sort of like leave it at that and let people just sort of like go bananas.
	Because, like, I mean, it even ends in a tight little, like, spooky bow, where somebody's just like, You killed my president!
	Bam!
	And it's just like, okay, well, now that guy can't say shit, like, shit else in his defense or whatever, and it's just like, well, isn't that convenient?
	Just saying, you know, anyway, that's the end of the video.
	Those are the facts.
	Like, think about the facts what you will.
	I'm just saying it's kind of fucking weird, you know?
	And I'm just like, damn, what a fun story.
	What a fun, tight little story.
	Right.
	And people always talk about like Russian propaganda and trying to manipulate us in the 2016 election and blah, blah, blah, and Putin.
	And it's like, I'm not saying that the Russians were big on JFK conspiracy theories, but I really can't think Of a better thing to drive a wedge into a country between its people and its government than having a ton of people actively promoting the idea that this very popular president they had was killed by elements of their own government, and that their government's been hiding that truth from them for decades.
	I mean, it's just...
	Like, Hayley and I have listened to Rob Reiner talk about this on his podcast, where he's like, back when Kennedy got murdered, everyone trusted the government.
	Now nobody trusts the government.
	And it's like, yeah, because of this.
	This is one of the big ones that really got that ball rolling.
	Yeah, I guess their sweet conspiracy totally worked.
	Right, exactly.
	You know what I mean?
	What a big W, what a huge dub for the government, you know?
	Excellent.
	Yeah, that's one of my favorite things of these things, like, the CIA worked so hard and blah blah blah, and it's like, people think the CIA is dog shit nowadays.
	The reputation, like, you would have, like, uh, like, CIA agent is like right next to Catholic priest on, like, list of people you would spit on in public if you saw them.
	I mean, it's just, like, These are people that we, we think of as absolute scum.
	The damage has been so done that I'm not going to lie to y'all.
	I'm going to keep a 100 with you and our audience and my Christian God and everything.
	You know, shout out to the J man.
	If it came out tomorrow, 100% smoking gun irrefutable evidence for the CIA to kill JFK, I'd be like, damn crazy.
	Yeah, that would be that.
	I'd be like, the damage has been done.
	I do not give a fuck, dude.
	I already don't trust the government enough.
	The damage has been so done.
	Like if you were just like, hey, it turns out those conspiracy theories, mad true.
	I'd be like, oh word?
	It would not knock your socks off.
	Like, aliens would be like, oh shit, my socks, I just went flying into another room.
	But I mean, even UFOs, like that shit just happened with UFOs.
	To like, to almost the entire, like, they're like, you know, the diehard alien, like, community people that were losing their shit over all the disclosures for the UAPs and all that.
	Then there were the people who never heard any of that shit, just they, that's not part of their sphere or whatever.
	And then there are millions of people like me who heard that and were just like, Because it was just like, yeah, of course, like, I'm sure that the Navy and the Air Force are picking up stuff in the sky all the fucking time that they don't understand.
	And like, when the reports are coming out, like, if you look at the pie chart of the stuff that they investigated, it's just like, yeah, dude, like 40% of this is like foreign military drones spying on us.
	And like 12% of this is like weather instruments and shit.
	And then there's like 20% of this we just don't know.
	And it's just like, oh, cool.
	That's pretty much exactly how I would expect that graph to go.
	So, sick.
	Come to me when you've got, like, a real thing to disclose.
	Right, that's what I'm saying.
	Like, literally a grey just, like, landing on Earth and being like, hey guys, I'm real.
	That would be, like, a soccer mover for me.
	But, like, the current stuff, not so much.
	One of the last ones, right?
	I mean, what else would get you like that?
	I think for, like, the general population, a cryptid.
	If somebody showed up and dropped Bigfoot's carcass off in Dallas, Fort Worth, just in the middle of the airport, boom, I caught this Bigfoot, irrefutable evidence in front of thousands of people, it's Bigfoot, take a look at him, he's dead.
	I think people would just be like, holy shit, Bigfoot's real?
	And then you'd have a bunch of good old boys chafing through the woods trying to shoot anything they saw for a while, which would be awesome.
	Or like Nessie, if it was just like, dude, it is a dinosaur!
	Look at this dinosaur!
	That would be great, to call back to earlier in the show, look at this fucking living dinosaur!
	Yeah.
	So yeah, that's it.
	I mean, like, basically, I just think that Soledad O'Brien and Rob Reiner going, like, on a jag.
	And episode six of Who Killed JFK is absolutely fucking nuts.
	Like, Rob just lost his mind with this one.
	I mean, I thought... They're claiming that the brain, the photos of JFK's head blown out are not the real photos.
	We're at that level.
	I haven't done episode 6, but... Listeners, this is where we're at.
	This is where we're at.
	Episode 6 is pure fucking brainworms.
	Absolute pure brainworms.
	So, episodes 4 and 5, boring as shit.
	But, uh, yeah.
	Also, moon landing.
	Yes!
	You know?
	I mean, that would be a little bit, I'd just be like, oh really?
	I mean...
	All right.
	Because at this point, we have to give them credit.
	Like, they have been faking it the whole time.
	They've definitely been up there now.
	Like, Google's a bug.
	Make a podcast with Rob Reiner about it.
	I would love to.
	Rob Reiner, you coward.
	Do a podcast with me about how we faked the boogle landing.
	So that brings us to our final question, as always, is what are you guys looking forward to?
	Dude, I'm so hungry.
	I look forward to lunch like a motherfucker.
	Also, the past few days have been sort of vexing, so it'll be nice to just sit down and just eat a greasy pie, and that'll be it for me.
	It'll be great.
	Not that horrible Greek shit, neither.
	Don't get me wrong, there's a lot of good Greek pizza, too.
	But the people, if you know, you know.
	If you've ever experienced the bad waxy crust Greek pizza, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about.
	It will offend you like garlic to a vampire.
	What are you looking forward to, Haley?
	I guess, um, um, I think on Christmas I might be hanging out just kind of like virtually
	with someone and.
	Yeah.
	watching Christmas movies and listening to Christmas music which I you know was raised Jehovah's Witness so I don't have too much of a background on this except for like I've seen a Christmas story I was literally looking at like a hundred Christmas movies like top Christmas movie. What the fuck I just learned like 30
	things about you. Okay, I'll take all of my questions off So I was like, okay, let's find some Christmas movies
	Let's see what there are. I'm sure I've seen some and it's like okay, technically home alone is a Christmas movie
	I've definitely seen that just because I'm a child of the movies.
	What are you, off of your fucking meds?
	It's one of the most Christmassy movies!
	Yeah, I know.
	But it's like, I think I snuck, I think I got to see that as a kid sneakily because I don't think it was, was it marketed as a Christmas movie?
	Because I'm kind of surprised I got away with that one.
	I mean, that one seems like a weird outlier for a Jehovah's Witness household to let you get away with.
	Interesting.
	I wonder why they let that one slide.
	But I mean, as far as I remember from that era, the zeitgeist was just like, yo, it is the holiday hit of the holiday season.
	Check out this holiday move.
	My grandma was also very anti, like, witch and wizard, though, but she loved the Wizard of Oz.
	So like, you know, riddle me that.
	That's just a woman with, like, fucking CTE or whatever.
	That's a woman with severe brain swelling who should have been receiving, like, professional medical care, but couldn't because she lived in rural areas.
	But that's fine.
	It's because she loved Judy Garland.
	It was her one sin.
	I'm going to interrogate you about holiday movie stuff once we're done recording.
	I've seen The Grinch, the Jim Carrey one, and I've seen All the Simpsons Christmas specials, obviously, because I like the Simpsons.
	There was one other popular Christmas movie that I had definitely seen, but a lot of them I was like, I've heard of it, but honestly, never seen it.
	Can I tell you my fucking, my Grinch anecdote?
	I've seen A Christmas Story.
	A lot.
	Because they play it for 24 hours on TV.
	It's hard to imagine a more overrated movie.
	That's the one I've seen!
	It's fine.
	It's certainly fine.
	Okay, what's a good one?
	Give me a good Christmas movie.
	We're a week away from Christmas.
	I mean, do you want just like a straight, like, down-the-road Christmas?
	It sort of depends, because they all sort of, like, fit into like... Give me a Christmas movie that you think I would like.
	Do you like spooky stuff?
	No.
	It's not that I don't.
	I know the person that I'm watching with will not watch spooky stuff.
	Oh, you're looking specifically for a record.
	I mean, have you seen Elf?
	Elf is like the modern Christmas classic.
	I definitely did see that once.
	Maybe that's an option.
	Santa Claus the movie is an insane one that Sarge and I talked about on our podcast when we did it together.
	It's just like, it's wild.
	It was one that I didn't get introduced to until later in life.
	And when I saw it, I was just like, I can't believe this is a real movie because a bunch of insane stuff is happening in it.
	But it's also like, It's kind of just a down-the-road, straight-down-the-middle-of-the-pitch Christmas movie, where there's an evil businessman doing evil businessman stuff, and then Santa Claus has a mischievous elf that escapes the North Pole and is doing a thing, but then also a guy flies into space and dies, and somebody explodes, and Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus both tragically die and then are resurrected.
	There's all sorts of crazy stuff in that movie!
	I would recommend Santa Claus and the Movie as like a pretty interesting one.
	Um, the problem is that a lot of this is kid shit.
	Like, I'm not into, no offense, like kid movies that are just kind of like goofy holiday romps because I just don't have- So, Santa Claus and the Movie is definitely not what I would consider a traditional kids movie.
	Okay.
	It opens with like the origin story of Santa Claus, which is that he and Mrs. Claus get stranded in a snowstorm with their reindeer and freeze to death.
	And then the elves who live in a mystical land beyond the veil of the Aurora Borealis in the North Pole know he is a kind hearted soul and they resurrect him to be this like spirit of the season and to live eternally with this burden.
	And then by the end of the movie, it is heavily implied that Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus have Is it funny?
	slash abducted these two children to at some point inherit their burden of the
	Santa- like it sort of becomes like a Santa Claus curse like at the end of it
	it's really fucked up. Is it funny? Is it sad? It's not like elf funny but
	it's meant to be like goofy and light-hearted.
	It's only dark if you think about it.
	But as an adult, like, I watch it thinking about it the whole way through, and I'm just like, what is going on?
	Like, what, like, what is... Is this for kids?
	Like, they made this for children?
	Like, it's... yeah.
	So that's my long answer, kind of.
	I have to plan, because...
	I'm still thinking.
	Listeners, if you hear this episode on time, give me suggestions.
	Mike, what are you looking forward to?
	I'm just looking forward to enjoying the rest of this day off.
	Yesterday was a wild one at Ye Olde Casino, and also I get to work on Christmas, which I haven't done in a dog's age, but there's nothing more uplifting for the human spirit than being in a casino on Christmas Day.
	Yeah, the people that are in there on that specific day have to be...
	Of a type, you know?
	Yes.
	Yup, exactly.
	The intersection of Alone on Christmas and willing to be seen in public at the casino being Alone on Christmas.
	Yup.
	Well, I did it a few times when I lived out in Nevada, so that was, yeah.
	The Vegas Christmas Day was a spacey meatball, so yeah.
	I mean, if you're in Vegas, I feel like it's certainly more appropriate.
	Yeah, I feel like there could be some party element to that, but anywhere else, it's kind of sad.
	Yeah, so that's going to be exciting.
	So I get to do that, and then... You're looking forward to human misery at work?
	I'm looking forward to getting time and a half on a really slow day at work, basically, is what it's coming down to.
	And just keeping up with swimming at ye olde YMCA, just getting back into the groove of that.
	I really hope that Christmas vacation doesn't mean that the pool is just full of like people that are I try to get there during the day when everyone's, well all you day shifters are working your nine to five so I can just get in get my swim in and get out.
	So I'm just like horrified that this holiday season is going to result in just the pool being overcrowded and then I have to like go use an exercise bike or something that my crippled mutilated body can't handle because I find that basically any form of exercise beyond swimming, some part of my body after five minutes is like, bro, you're not doing this.
	It's not happening.
	That means it's working.
	That's the burn they speak about, Mike.
	You're not supposed to fear that.
	You're supposed to embrace the burn.
	Oh, yeah.
	Absolutely.
	They don't tell you this, but sometimes the burn comes from your knee joints, but you're still supposed to ignore it.
	That means it's working.
	Oh, dude, I'm really feeling the burn in my lower back, like, specifically my spine and where it connects to my hips.
	Ooh, the burn!
	Yeah, so that is my holiday joy that I'm looking forward to.
	Alright, well, on that note, it's time for us to do leg day and just, I guess, do some, like, squat thrusts out of Hellworld for the week.
	Thank you so much for listening and supporting the show.
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	I don't know.
	Out of Shadows is hot, baby.
	It's hot.
	Uh, so if you want to get access to that, you can visit us again, patreon.com slash PokerPolitics.
	Thank you to all the beautiful babies in the crib.
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	We hate that shit.
	Give them some money to fight it.
	Thanks, as always, for the use of our newly remixed intro by DJ Minimal Effort, remixed by our very own Mike Rains, what a talented individual who totally did it on purpose.
	Thanks, as always, to Frosty for all of our bumps and voiceover work, etc., who can be found, I believe, still on Twitter, at FrostyBO.
	You can find the show on Twitter at hellworldwithaq instead of an O. You can find myself on Blue Sky at Mysterious L. You can find Haley on various social platforms at Arizona Right Watch.
	And Mike Rains on various social platforms, of course, at Poker and Politics.
	Ah, so for another successful episode of the Eventual Tower podcast, I've been one of your hosts, The Mysterious L!
	Joined as always by Haley, aka ArizonaRightWarWatch, and our expert on all things QAnon and crazy, Mr. Mike Rains.

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