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Sept. 21, 2023 - Adventures in HellwQrld
01:33:18
Adventures in HellwQrld Episode #158: Sexy Times and Sex Pests

This week we deal with Boebert's X-rated exploits and we watch QAnon defend Russell Brand and the guy from the "Sound of Freedom" who might end up being a Senator sooner rather than later. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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you I
I Content warning
The Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in depth about QAnon, which means we have to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people.
Listener discretion advised.
Hello, everybody.
I am Mike Rains, a.k.a.
Poker and Politics, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld.
This week, I am joined, as always, by Haley.
It's me.
Hi.
She made it!
She's here!
I did!
Yay!
I'm excited to be here.
And he's back!
It's the Mysterious Hell!
That's right, my beautiful babies.
I have returned from Epstein Island.
Now, that sounds a little sus, but mind you, he's dead.
So since then, it has been renovated to be a day spa for regular adult people and no children to do adult stuff with no children around.
It's great.
Is the dome still there?
Yes, that's how you get tanned.
You just sit underneath the dome and it shoots dangerous levels of UV radiation.
It microwaves you.
It's sort of like being Jiffy Pop.
Have you ever wanted to be a Jiffy Pop?
I actually saw some QAnon promoter talking about how there's an island off the coast of Spain that might be the new Epstein Island.
And they were like, is this where the elites are going now?
It's like, isn't Trump like monitoring the whole world with a spy satellite network?
Wouldn't he just know?
Wouldn't he just tell you?
Why are you guys in the dark about anything?
I thought you had the ultimate contacts, the greatest inside information of all time.
Also, I mean, I know it ruins the fantasies that these people love so much, but...
The reality of the situation is, where's it going down?
In a basement in Beverly Hills.
Or, you know, like in a basement in Ohio.
In a basement anywhere, really.
Sometimes an attic.
Maybe like a shack in the back of somebody's property.
You know, anywhere.
Just a living room.
It turns out that people can be predatory creeps anywhere.
You don't need a giant billion dollar island.
It just turns out that white, rich creeps do like to buy islands.
Johnny Depp has islands.
No.
I saw someone talking about culture in the mainstream media, and they were just like, a decade ago, people thought this was acceptable, and it was like when Johnny Depp was wearing, was Tonto in the Lone Ranger movie, and he had like that crow on his head and the face fade.
Yeah, I don't know, what planet were those people living on ten years ago?
Because I remember my reaction Don't get me wrong, I've done a lot of growing up since 2013 or whatever, but my reaction when I saw Johnny Depp as Tonto was, that's fucking crazy and racist and what the fuck!
But my favorite part is that he did find a sneaky little workaround where, I believe, now again, I don't really do research or anything, but I seem to remember that the property that Wounded Knee was on went up for auction and Johnny Depp bought Wounded Knee and then turned it over to the original people there as like, sort of like a make good.
Cause he was just like, Oh yeah, I would like, when I was researching Tonto, I really got into like, you know, indigenous culture.
The people of this region that, you know, they like took me in as one of their odes and I've given them back Wounded Knee.
It's like, God, that is a really cool gesture, but you're still Johnny Depp.
So let's not get too crazy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Also, nobody listening to the podcast remembers that, Mike, because nobody saw that Lone Ranger movie.
It was a huge bomb.
Yeah, I didn't see it.
Sorry.
I remember the commercial, and there's like a train.
That's about all I remember.
Yeah, that was when Hollywood tried to make Armie Hammer a thing, and then it just turned out that that was never going to happen.
No matter how much juice the Illuminati thought they had, no matter how much power George Soros thinks he has upon us, America was like, no, we reject that guy, Armie Hammer.
We reject the Arm and Hammer brand.
Yes, yes.
That man is never going to be a super mainstream Hollywood hunk.
That we're gonna slap down our hard-earned money for.
No bueno.
Hard pass on that dude.
What a crazy in hindsight cast in that movie.
Yeah.
Like a giant $300 million or whatever Disney movie that's starring Johnny Depp and Armie Hammer.
Isn't that guy that domestic abuser and a cannibal?
Oh yeah!
They're teamed up, buddy.
A cannibal domestic abuser and a normal domestic abuser.
Isn't it a drunk domestic abuser and a cannibalistic domestic abuser?
It's like the odd couple, but they have one thing in common.
Yes.
Oh, man.
Oh, Hollywood, you absolute cesspool of depravity.
And this is why people are able to generate conspiracy theories around Hollywood and how it's full of bad people who do bad things.
It's almost like power's bad.
It's weird.
Yeah, it's almost like obtaining power and wealth allows you to do terrible shit and get away with it.
So strange.
That's kind of why I don't really fuck with politics that much.
It's just like, could you imagine being the sort of person who wants to have your hand on the wheel?
Yikes.
Yeah, I think you're probably an awful human being.
I mean, most of the people I know who are just like, you know who should run everything?
Me!
It's just like, oh, oh, buddy.
I don't trust you.
I don't like that impulse at all.
Yeah, that's like one of the, one thing I read a million years ago is like, wanting
to run for president should disqualify you for running for president.
Just that idea.
It should be an appointment.
Like, the people should get together and decide who it gets to be and you just have to deal
with it.
You just have to eat shit.
Like that was supposed, that was like the idea of the original electoral college.
The Founding Fathers basically had the idea that us, the filthy proles, would vote on who our bettors were, and then our bettors would get into a room and be like, hmm, who should be the president?
And then they would stroke their beards and think about it long and smoke on their pipes, and then they would come up with the president.
And then the president would be like, what the fuck, you picked me?
What the shit?
Yeah, tough.
It's you.
You see what the presidency does to a person?
You age like 20 years a year.
It's crazy.
Barack Obama came out of that looking geriatric.
Yes.
And this is the 1800s.
20 years in a year will kill you.
There's no way I'm going to make it out alive, you bastards.
Yeah.
I don't know.
America's great and we all love it and all of our institutions are perfect and we love them.
This is the one thing we are not joking about on the podcast.
So if you are whatever the name of Donald Trump's liberal hunting police force is in the future, please reference this episode and know that we were always bootlickers and we always love you.
Actually, I don't know about you.
Fascism sucks.
Just go ahead and kill me.
I don't know.
El's very conflicted of either living under an oppressive fascist regime or just getting the check.
You gotta kick its ass, bro.
You gotta kick the oppressive regime's ass.
It requires cardio I don't have.
And high dig requires...
Less mass than I do have.
So I'm just going to be very easy.
It's the same thing.
It's like zombie apocalypse rules.
How do I survive the zombie apocalypse?
I don't.
I mean, I can't run away from a zombie.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Like, what are you talking about?
Yeah, that's the thing.
Everyone's just like, oh!
I look out and am on a cruise ship when it happens.
And then, you know, we do the right thing and throw off anyone that looks infected.
And then we're just like, OK, we're safe, I guess.
Now it's time for Lord of the Flies.
That's much better.
Yeah.
Now I can use charisma.
I have a chance to win now because that's my stat.
Whereas if the stat was agility, nope.
Hard pass.
Game over.
Bam.
I am defeated almost immediately.
Yeah.
You know, you could be handsome and charismatic, but then you have to take some sort of debilitating drawback like Armie Hammer did with cannibalism.
Yes.
And also, the Charisma thing might be giving him too much credit, because I feel like if he had Charisma, he wouldn't have failed to launch.
Even Ryan Reynolds got there at some point.
Like, that's all Ryan Reynolds.
Like, you know, Ryan Reynolds is like a handsome dude, too.
But he was always, like, really trafficking on the fact that he was super affable.
And for, like, 20 years, it just didn't go anywhere.
Everybody was just like, Ryan who?
What?
Who cares?
But then he was just like, no, I'm gonna make this Deadpool movie, and everyone's gonna love it.
Yeah, he found his calling, which was being Deadpool, which— Not Green Lantern.
Not so much Green Lantern.
I love the fact that he just constantly brings up how fucking terrible Green Lantern was as an idea.
Like, the fact that he murders himself in the end credits of Deadpool 2 over Green Lantern is just, like, fucking chef's kiss.
Well, he's sort of like a standard bearer for Magic the Gathering and he's just sitting there waving his flag and everyone has to target him with criticism of it because everybody likes to give Taika Waititi a big passarello on that movie.
Taika Waititi is in that movie and bad in it.
And like everyone is just like, yeah, we're just gonna give him a pass.
Taika Waititi was never in The Green Lantern.
We love him and he directed a couple of good movies and some really bad movies that we pretend don't exist because we love Taika Waititi!
Man, I wish I could be absolved of all my bad decisions and just my good decisions are praised endlessly and relentlessly.
That's what happens when, I mean, hey, it's charisma.
It's that Riz, you know?
Yes.
He's got that New Zealand Riz.
He's just like, he just seems so nice that you just want to be like, oh, it's okay that you did Love and Thunder, buddy.
It's okay, buddy.
That's fine.
I get that that was almost entirely your creative process, but it's cool that you got it.
It's Thor Love and Thunder, where basically he just like, he didn't even direct.
He was just like, you guys are in a scene and improv it, action.
And everyone was just like, we're getting paid for this?
Fuck yeah, boom.
We're just going to ham it up.
And Christian Bale's just like, guys, I'm trying to act.
And they're like, shut up, Christian.
All the checks clear are the same.
No one cares.
It's all good.
I feel like we've talked about miscellaneous horseshit enough for the day, so let's go ahead and get into the Amuseboosh!
It's time for a light sampling of insanity.
Get ready for the Amuseboosh!
Alrighty.
This week.
It's, you know, it's only not news because the people involved are nothings and the events involved are also mostly nothings, but it is what everyone's been talking about.
So let's go ahead and talk about Lauren Boebert, Gambit, her best friend, H.J., or I guess boyfriend, not best friend.
Although maybe best friend, too.
Who knows?
I think they broke up already.
They did, probably because he didn't- like, the headline I saw was like, Laura Brobert splits from liberal boyfriend in wake of such- and I was just like, I was just like, yeah.
I'm sure that guy was just like, oh no, I have been- this is a tremendous amount of heat that I don't need.
This is done.
We're done here.
Thank you for the in-public-hand job, and probably the sex that followed, but we are done here.
Oh, you know, it was crazy.
Like her flipping them off as she was leaving.
I was literally like, yeah, they were, yeah.
The most relatable she's ever been.
I mean, you know, like, don't get me wrong.
Like this event is all relatability because it's just a politician
just behaving like a dumb entitled goofist, like a regular person.
Who hasn't gotten weird in a movie theater a few times?
Who has it faked in public?
You know?
Yeah, I do it all the time.
I do it in the theater.
I was like watching it like me.
Yeah, I mean, but mine's usually like a not... I don't do the cloud thing.
No, me neither.
I'm not looking to rip fluffy clotton.
Hold it.
I'm looking to try to keep it inside me.
Kill your lungs.
So, uh, it is slightly different.
But yeah, man, Wilbur, I get it.
You know, I've gotten frisky in public before.
I've happened to do a little vape in public.
I've flipped off a camera for catching me doing something I don't like.
I've done all these things.
But unfortunately, like, relatable though all that stuff might be, you are an elected official and you are a hypocrite and you suck.
Woman of the people.
Yeah, I mean, don't get me wrong.
The best thing about this, sorry, I haven't let Mike get a word in edgewise since I started leading into the boosh, but the best part about this is, much like Young Gravy, bringing the Mysterious Elves' attraction to the older woman to the fore.
Now all of a sudden, lots of people are talking about how Lauren Bobert looks pretty good in a dress, and I've been saying that for a long time.
Is she even old?
She's noice.
No, you can be attracted to many things.
She's not even old, is she?
No, but it is similar.
Young Gravy was just like, hey, old as a little bear.
It's like, also, I also think she's hot.
But Elle's predilections were also just like, I also think that Laura Boebert is hot.
And that was sort of a sensitive, touchy subject back previously.
Now, less touchy.
Everyone's coming around to my way of thinking.
I guess we do have to mention, though, you know, it's like, you know, she calls LGBT people groomers and awful things.
And I mean, not that this is grooming or anything.
It's just like, you know, you're being a little weird in public in front of everybody.
Let other people be a little weird in public sometimes.
You know, lady, you don't have to be so fucking judgmental.
Just be cool.
You know, it seems like if you, you know, you could just be cool.
You know, if you're in a vaping and hanging out with dudes that like run a bar that has drag events and like You know, you like getting your honkers hogged.
Just be cool.
Just be cool.
Just be normal.
You don't have to be, like, a hate monger.
That's not cool.
She can't get elected.
She's not a hate monger.
I mean, that's her- Yeah, you can!
Look at her!
She's like, just do it!
Go the other way!
Be a love monger!
Just be interactive!
Yeah, just literally!
You don't have to do this!
You don't have to do this, people!
Plenty of people are attractive enough and liberal enough to make it in politics.
I mean, I've seen them.
Like, I'm not going to call out any names, but there are tons of people who's like, when I look at their policies, I'm just like, what?
That's, I mean, OK.
But also, you know, they look good.
So they've got charisma.
So good for you.
Like, all right, bully on you, I guess.
I mean, Boebert's whole thing was that she got into the House of Representatives by winning a primary against a well-funded Republican because she tapped into QAnon.
And blindsided this guy by hanging out with right-wing conspiracy nutballs and then getting enough of them to vote in her favor that she was able to win that, win that election.
And then her Democrat opponent in the general election was like, I got this in the bag.
There's no way this bobert can beat me.
And then it's like, jokes on you.
Not so much.
So yeah, that was not great.
Anyway, I don't really have much to add to the conversation surrounding her doing this stuff.
Aside from the fact that it's just like, yeah, it's another textbook case of just like conservative hypocrisy.
Just like, you know.
Especially because her initial, like, she was just like, ball face lying about it when she got caught.
Or before the videotape came out when they were like, you know, discussing it, she was just like, yeah, I was just enjoying myself at the show.
I don't know.
I've never seen a vape in my life.
And then they're just like, okay, well, here's very clear CCTV footage of you vaping.
Oh, what else are we doing?
Isn't that interesting?
And she's just like, yeah, okay, I'm going through a divorce.
Yeah, I liked her dodging it on OAN and stuff.
She was just like, I was just having a little fun.
We've all had a little fun.
I was like, you're right, girl.
Just don't be a fucking bitch all the time.
Maybe change politics.
Yeah, maybe if you weren't just an abhorrent person to begin with, people would like, you know, this wouldn't be such a huge deal.
Because this ain't the late 90s, or the late 80s, you know?
Like, getting caught jerking somebody off at a theater.
I way think we're past- It was over the pants, so you know what I'm saying?
I way think that we're past the Paul Reubens, you know, you're at an adult theater, your dick's out, like that's it, your career's over for like 30 years.
I think that Laura Boebert could have been going down on the guy on the stage of Beetlejuice the Musical and still just have her scene.
Because we've come a long way in politics.
Scandals have to be real scandalous now.
I did like that they were like... The seat of the President of the United States might be won by a convicted felon by the time it all shakes out.
And people are just like, what's controversial about that?
So, I mean, that's just sort of where America is these days.
So, Lauren Boebert, you do let your freak flag fly, you know, and come over to the liberal side with us.
Just repent for your sins and come to the good guy team and then be, you know, the Hellcat and on our side.
Yeah.
Someone made the point they were just like, if we elect a convicted felon president, then maybe you not being happy with the way the vice president's laugh sounds isn't as big a problem as you think it is with America.
Maybe America's fucked a little bit more than that.
We had Bill Clinton, so it's like, whatever.
I don't care about sex.
Yeah, your sex stuff has to, like, also Venn Diagram with other illegal things for me to care about it enough.
Yeah, you gotta, like, eat someone, like Armie Hammer.
Yeah.
But even then, I mean, you know, depending on the law of the land and how much consent was involved.
Anyway, we'll move on to another Boosh topic.
Ray Epps was arrested.
Mike, for the audience and also for me, because you know that I do not know who this is, tell us who this is and why we're booshing about it.
So Ray Epps is basically the guy behind the January 6th, according to QAnon and The Right and all this stuff.
Because basically, on the night before, on January 5th, Ray Epps was with a group of people and he was talking some shit.
And he was just like, yeah, tomorrow people are going to need to go in there and do some stuff.
Like, we're going to have to, like, We're going to take that capital and we're going to go in there.
That's right.
Right.
So Ray Epps was talking some shit the day before and then after January 6th happens.
Also, it's on Baked Alaska's stream and Baked Alaska's like Fed, Fed, Fed, Fed.
Because that's kind of like a big part of the theory is that he's like, they called it right there.
He's a Fed.
But, uh, yeah, so he made this comment to a few people, literally.
It wasn't like, it wasn't like he got up on stage after Alex Jones did his set and then Ray Epps like got on stage and started yelling about that we have to take the Capitol by force tomorrow.
It was just Ray Epps, like 12 people, baked Alaska, yelling at him, the end.
And then after January 6th happened.
QAnon and all these other people had to find a scapegoat.
They had to find a person to blame for what happened.
And it became Ray Epps.
And they were like, Hey, this guy said to go into the Capitol and he was behind it.
Everyone listened to him and, and, and he ain't getting arrested or anything.
Nobody has independent thought.
They're like, he said a thing and we all were activated.
Yeah, Ray Epps is literally Kilgrave from Jessica Jones.
He just told everyone, attack the Capitol.
They were just like, ah, I think he's red at the Capitol.
And then on their way in, he was like, throw coffee at yourself.
And just see all that awesome stuff that he did.
Continue to charge at that police officer until you're shot to death.
Yes!
Jump through that window.
Jump through that window.
Ignore that officer's demands to stand down.
Exactly.
You become a heroic martyr to the worst people on Earth.
Yes.
Yeah, so she was a hero.
Yay, we agree.
And also while we're at it, Nazis are pretty great too, right?
Yay.
I'll did it this time.
Yeah.
I'll do it this time.
Yeah.
So, so this was the big thing.
And then Ray Epps had, he testified before Congress, I believe, and all these people were like, why isn't he being charged?
And Ray has also done a bunch of interviews about how he's a Trump supporter and how this whole January 6th conspiracy theory ruined his life.
And it made him really sad.
So.
Literally like his, he lived here in Arizona.
Because he was the former president of the Oath Keepers here, the Arizona chapter.
I'm with you, sister.
Whatever I think about Arizona, that's how I want to say it, too.
Literally, exasperated sigh, in the middle of the word Arizona.
Yes, nailed it.
Florida's right there, too.
In Texas.
Five more states.
Not you though.
If you're listening and you live there, you're great.
It's just, you're like an oasis of greatness in a desert of shit.
Yeah.
Yeah, he lived here and like Weirdo started showing up to his farmhouse.
He had like a barn that he used to do weddings, like the wedding venue at.
And Weirdo started showing up at his house like, hey, you that guy that did January 6th?
So he fucked off from Arizona.
He's like in hiding.
I love the idea!
Wait, sorry, let me elaborate on that.
Were they weirdos that were in favor of him, or weirdos that were opposed to him, or both?
They were weirdos who were at January 6th.
One of them I know was at January 6th himself.
So I don't know if he like bought into the narrative that January 6th was a false flag or he just saw opportunity to basically go harass somebody that the right has built this narrative around because it's convenient to push that narrative and also he's like a quote-unquote content creator himself so it's like kind of just convenient to go harass That's how weird it is.
If you imagine being one of these hyper-conservative bit of ding-dongs, and you do a big hyper-conservative thing that you think everyone's gonna love you for, that instead Chuckleheads and AR-15s are showing up at your door searching for you, like, What's up, you FID?
And you're just like, Wait, what?
No!
What are you talking about?
I was there with you guys!
How many women just like you do?
Like, me and you, we're on the same team on this!
And it's just like, mm-hmm.
A bit.
Yeah, that's basically what happened is that Ray was just like, this whole thing has ruined my life because I was on Team Trump and now Team Trump has disowned me because of this bullshit narrative that I was somehow this deep state infiltrator.
That made everybody do the attack on the Capitol.
And so now the fact that he's been charged and I believe he's already he's already submitted a guilty plea to he's taking a plea deal.
He's like pleading.
It's just one little charge.
That's also a conspiracy.
They're like, of course, it's only one charge.
The liar we're on to you.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, this is, they're trying to placate us by charging right after some bullshit.
Yeah, exactly.
Exactly.
Like, yeah, he, he isn't getting charged with his actual real big boy crimes.
He's getting charged with this bullshit to make it look like the feds are going after him when they're really coddling him and protecting him.
So, yeah.
Yeah, it's very funny.
Fun stuff.
Well, it couldn't have happened to a worse guy.
Whatever he is getting now, he deserves.
So, sucks for him.
Nobody's on his side.
Everybody's just like, fuck you, Fed.
We hate him because he's an actual maggot shud who did want to, like, attack the Capitol.
Goat keeper piece of shit.
Right.
And now the maggot shuds hate him because they have to blame him for January 6th in order to make themselves feel better about what happened.
So it's just a lose-lose all around for Ray Epps.
So, compobulations, moron.
Much like that dramatic long wide shot in Lawrence of Arabia, it's time for us to triumphantly go back to the desert of shit that is Arizona with our Arizona correspondent and new regular co-host and good friend, who I do not hate despite what she says, Hayley.
I couldn't remember if the I Hated You conversation was off mic or on mic.
It was off mic, but now everybody knows our drama.
Oh yeah, our scintillating, totally legitimate drama.
We were really in our throats, guys.
You couldn't believe it.
Anyway, I'm going to throw it over to Haley to talk about some fun stuff happening in their neck of the woods around Kirk.
Charlie Kirk?
Charlie Kirk, I guess.
You know that guy?
No, I know the name, but I couldn't tell you.
He's the Small Face.
He was the original captain of the Enterprise, if I recall?
Yep, yep, yep, yep.
He's the head of Turning Point USA.
He's the guy with the small face.
He did that one protest back in the day that was like, He was in a diaper.
They were in diapers in, like, a pin on a college campus.
I don't remember what the- I love that this is not a thing you're making up.
No, it's not!
It's just, like, that's what a lot of people know him for is, like, the Turning Point USA and the diaper thing.
Dude, I see you riding around in a diaper.
Small little face.
They call him Small Face.
The name's Charlie Kirk.
And the diaper thing is only one of my interests.
Was he actually in the diaper?
Because I've had arguments about if he actually wore the diaper or not.
I don't even know if he was part of that protest.
I just know it was a Turning Point-sponsored protest, the diaper thing.
Right.
I just remember seeing young white men, a.k.a.
college Republicans, in diapers.
If something weird is happening on your campus, it's probably Turning Point USA weirdos.
a polo shirt with a diaper on and he's just naked besides the diaper and it's like super weird. It's
just like what the fuck are you doing? Why are you in public like that? That is like a fetish
that people keep under wraps usually, buddy. Like what is wrong with you?
If something weird is happening on your campus, it's probably Turning Point USA Weirdos. They're
just fucks. That's Kirk's thing is like his organization kind of, it's like it focuses
on the youth, you know, like high school, college, uh, Recently, they opened up a K through 12 curriculum here in Arizona.
Are they going to use PragerU with it?
No, it's their own thing, but it is kind of like this.
They're similar.
They're similar.
So that's kind of part of the story is that Kirk came to, Kirk came to Arizona State University back in February with Prager.
Home of the fighting racists.
Home of the Spartans, I think.
I'm sorry.
I was close.
I think, I don't know.
I didn't, I didn't go there.
I didn't go, I didn't go to college.
So I don't know.
Sorry ASU.
Um, if it's I know that they're like logos like this.
It's like, it's like shock.
It's a shocker.
It's like a shocker.
Being the fighting racist is only slightly off the mark because their actual logo is throwing up the shocker.
That's insane.
That's like that crazy AIDS memorial that they erected in California that just looks like a huge butthole.
So now they're gonna take it down, baby.
Sorry.
It's just like, sometimes reality, it just seems like there are cracks forming, you know?
The mascot is Sparky the Sun Devil.
I don't know why I said Spartans.
That's a lie.
That's a filthy lie from my mouth.
What the fuck is a Sun Devil?
A Sun Devil, because we're demons in Arizona.
Look at this.
You like this guy?
Wait, so it's actually just the devil.
So wait, wait, wait!
So it's not the fighting racists.
They're fighting Satan throwing up the shocker.
Yeah, it's a devil throwing up the shocker.
This is what education is doing to your children.
I guess.
I mean, how does that fly around so many conservatives?
That's literally the devil.
Well, maybe that's why Charlie Kirk's trying to bring down ASU, you know?
Absolutely insane.
I'm so glad that we have somebody just, like, deeply entrenched in one of, like, the three terror spots on the planet.
You don't like our demon throwing up the shocker?
It's the coolest thing I've ever seen about Arizona.
It's very surprising.
That seems like the sort of thing I would see on, like, a local punk flyer.
It is, honestly.
It is kind of punk.
I like them.
Sparky.
Um, anyway, so Kirk came to ASU, uh, back in February with, uh, Prager, Dennis Prager, uh, for like a, uh, just to, you know, to give a speech.
But the, the speech was like, when they put out the flyer, it was like officially sponsored by the Honors College at Arizona State University.
And they never informed the like professors at the Honors College that they would be, Sponsoring this event.
So a bunch of them were like, uh, no, no, no, we are not, we are not attached to this Kirk event.
Um, and they like signed the letters just saying like, we're not part of this fucking event.
And Kirk lost his absolute shit.
He was like, excuse me, are you canceling me?
Um, and like went on a whole tirade on all his podcasts and Dennis Prager was similarly crying and they complained to the The, like, president of ASU that, like, all the professors should be fired.
And, um, they put them on in their professor watch list.
Elle, if you don't know about this, also the audience, Kirk maintains this, like, watch list of professors and school boards and just anyone he doesn't like.
And it's basically like if you're gay or teach anything to liberal or, um, you know, you just, We're partially gay, hyper-liberal, and hate Charlie Kirk.
What do we have to do to get on the list?
I want to be on a cool list.
What am I doing on this podcast if not educating the populace about Turboteen?
He's Professor L. This is his classroom.
We are Hell World U. We are a liberal curriculum that is trying to indoctrinate the youth that trans people should have rights and that gay people are acceptable and good.
Yeah, and our mascot was going to be Satan throwing up the sucker.
That's where I'm going to take it.
That's so funny, because someone was arguing with me on Twitter, and they said, your thumbnail of your podcast has the Baphomet on it, and the all-seeing eye.
And I'm like, yes, it does.
And he's like, why are you doing that?
I'm like, to trigger morons like you.
And then he was like, well, troll better.
And I'm like, no.
You literally just got upset.
I won.
You literally acknowledged that my trolling worked.
I'm gonna get at the artist behind that piece and they're going to be incredibly pleased that their depiction of Buff Bette is going to be true, folks.
Yes!
Just you wait until the next time when we get updated art for the show.
Just you wait.
It's going to have so much culture to there.
So much shocker.
Yeah, there's going to be the shocker, the less common reverse shocker.
What are you doing in the sink, you madman?
Oh, dear God.
That's crazy.
I don't know what to think.
These ratios are all wrong.
Your calibrations are totally unacceptable.
I do not want to subscribe to your newsletter.
We need some pizza.
We need some cheese pizza.
That's the logo of the rival school.
What else triggers these people?
Oh, we need the back of the $1 bill.
That's another thing that deeply upsets these people.
There's nothing I enjoy more.
It's like once every three months, somebody in conspiracy QAnon land has to just make a post where they're all like, they throw it in our faces all the time!
They have a picture of the $1 bill and it's like, really?
The $1 bill triggers you?
Like, you call us snowflakes?
Okay, we could have like a triangle with butterfly wings or something.
It's like a two-fer.
Those people go crazy.
We were a spiral too.
We were a spiral inside of a triangle with some butterfly wings.
Boo!
Yeah!
Oh man, because, uh, I was talking some shit at Liz Crokan and she didn't actually answer me.
But what she did do was tag in, uh, this lady whose name I can't remember, but that lady, her whole gimmick is Project Monarch, which is a fake MKUltra knockoff.
And that's where the butterfly comes from is like, is the Monarch butterfly comes from Project Monarch being this like mind control Uh, child sex trafficking operation that was an offshoot of MKUltra.
And, by the way, it's also a pure fiction.
It didn't exist.
MKUltra is real.
Product Monarch is not real.
So it's just like, ugh, man.
The only Monarch I fuck with is the Mighty Monarch from the Venture Brothers.
Because he's dope as fuck.
Yes.
And Dr. Girlfriend.
Back when she was a girl.
Who's hot as fuck.
Yes.
I'm not usually in for cartoon characters, but Dr. Girlfriend does support me.
And I must admit.
Yeah.
Uh, anyway, uh, let us move on.
So is that all the Kirk nonsense?
He was- Uh, no, so anyway, um, Kirk, uh, uh, yeah, so he- the event went on, even though he was, like, crying foul forever.
Um, and, like, we literally had, like, our lawmakers hold a actual hearing about how he was cancelled, even though the fucking event went on.
Um, and now he's back, he's coming back for round two, like I think at the end, like in a week, actually.
And he's again being like, I was canceled.
Come see me, even though the event wasn't canceled.
Um, and he's just been like harassing these teachers who have been getting a bunch of death threats.
Um, but he took it a little too far on his podcast.
He has another podcast about like swing states, swing states right now with, Tyler Boyer, who's the COO of Turning Point USA and kind of like a head of GOP stuff here.
And then, um, Jake, no, uh, Austin Smith, who's a representative here and also works for Turning Point USA.
And they started shit talking the president of ASU.
They were like, they were just shit talking to him about the event.
And he now finally the president of ASU came out and was like, all right, Kirk.
You know, you can't be talking shit about our professors.
The event went on, like, if you want to keep talking shit, like, add me to your fucking list or shut the fuck up, basically.
So, like, it took him almost, like, seven months to finally stand up for his professors, but Kirk made the mistake of starting to, you know, yell at the boss, so now it's not, like, working out so great for him.
But one thing that was funny that happened out of all this is that like the person who funds the like building that Kirk had his event in is a conservative and he apparently believed that all the nonsense that Kirk got cancelled and he just pulled funding from the school.
Entirely.
And the woman who hosted the event lost her job.
So that was kind of funny.
Way to go, Dumb Dumbs.
Yeah.
Nothing better than friendly fire.
The only thing I remember from Charlie Kirk's podcast was after the 2022 midterms, him having a bunch of collars on the air and they were all
like, well, I didn't vote because it's all rigged.
And then Charlie Kirk was like, who told you that?
And they were like, you did.
You did.
No, no.
The whole rigging thing is just to get people upset.
You're not supposed to believe it.
And then not vote.
No.
And it was just like, Oh my God.
Stop tipping our hand.
If you're one of our hate listeners, that's one of our textbook, funny jokes.
The elections are rigged and you should not vote in them.
Yeah, he's trying to change course and now he's doing like a remake of like the P. Diddy voter die kind of thing, but it's voter live.
And, um, trying to convince his, uh, his audience now that, like, voting's good again.
He, he, which is like, you've, you've fucked up, bro.
I'm assuming this guy's a Christian goon, and that does sound like some hyper-Christian goon shit.
Fuck it is.
Yeah.
Like, can you imagine?
That, that sounds like some youth pastor turning his chair around, like, sitting down on it all backwards, being like, let me rap with you.
You know how you, you know how your best friend is your ride or die?
You guys like diddy, right?
Love God Jesus Christ, and he's my ride or live, because he died for my sins.
And it's just like, alright, pal, I'm done with this.
I'm gonna go smoke dodge.
Yeah.
Okay, yeah, Charlie Kirk remains a moron and all I can think about now is his tidy face.
Once I remember what his face looked like and I was like, oh, yeah, he wasn't a lot of tiny face boobs.
Yeah.
He was at NAU yesterday, which is the Northern College here.
And a bunch of people like drowned him out there.
And they're like, the signs all were like, Charlie Kirk has a small face.
So shout out NAU.
Shout out small face protesters.
Yes.
Anyway, let's move on to our headline news segment and talk about some real important stuff in Cues in the News.
From the digital headlines to the digital front lines, it's Cues in the News.
Real important stuff number one this week.
Russell Brand.
That's right.
The comic whose star faded like a decade ago is back.
And this time, he is of course being accused for sexual assault slash rape.
Because of course he is.
Because he's Russell Brand.
Like what has this guy ever been in that is making people defend him?
I was like, who the fuck is this guy?
So he had a weird career trajectory.
He got famous in Britain doing panel shows and like stand-up stuff where he was like incredibly open about his sex life, which was apparently robust and abundant.
Uh, then he broke out in the States with, uh, he was in a bit part in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, which sped up to Get Up to the Greek, and he also had a stand-up special, I think, around that time.
Oh, well, we gotta rally to this man's defense.
He's been nothing but classics.
Here's the part where it gets interesting for him.
Then, he transitioned into being this, like, leftist, like, you know, like, the left started to love this guy because he was saying the right stuff, he was doing the right things, he was out there, like, preaching, like, peace and love and all this shit, just whatever.
Then, at some point, something happened in his life, and then he started being an anti-vax conspiracy nutjob.
So now, the left hates him because he's an anti-vax conspiracy nutjob, and the right loves him because he has like a weekly radio show or like, you know, online show or whatever.
He's on Rumble, that's all I know of him.
Yeah, where he just like preaches conspiracy bullshit to dumb Nazis.
And it's just like, what a weird fucking life this guy's had.
But, the whole time, he seemed like everyone's sketchiest friend of a friend.
The guy that showed up to the party, that you were like, oh, hey man, and then you would elbow one of your trusted friends and be like, keep an eye on that guy to make sure he doesn't put anything in any girl's drinks.
Fucking literally.
Fucking literally.
I hate to judge a book by its cover, but fucking books have covers for reasons, man.
It was just like, Russell Brant accused of rape, and I'm just like, yes, he did that.
I mean, I'm inclined to believe the accuser anyway, in situations like this, but I mean, especially, yeah, he seems like the sort of guy.
Like, I watched the special, the like hour and a half special, and it was showing some of his comedy, if you want to call it that.
Yeah, I never thought he was especially funny.
I mean, he was fine in the role they cast him in, in Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He was perfect for that role.
This aloof, stupid, like, you know, guy that you just kind of hate most of the movie.
It's like a movie you vaguely heard of like fucking 15 years ago, though.
It's like, who the fuck cares about this fucking guy?
The rallying to the defenses for this guy was wild to see.
I was like, who the fuck even fucking is this fucking guy?
I don't know.
It was just weird to see.
Mike, take it away, honestly.
So the best part about this thing, which is the worst, is that, so basically this story is going to break.
Brand has received word from somewhere that the London press is about to release this very documented expose about the numerous women that have come forward to allege that he has sexually assaulted or raped them.
So he goes on the internet and posts this like four and a half minute long thing about how the media is out to get him.
There's a plot to destroy his character and he denies everything.
And this was actually like in real time.
Me and Elle were in messaging, and I said to him, Russell Brand's about to go through some shit.
He just posted a thing on Twitter about how he didn't rape anybody.
And Elle was like, that's a totally normal thing for a queen to say.
Yeah, normal shit.
Obviously he's not about to be accused of a massive amount of rape.
Yeah, I know that.
I say that like once every two or three days, just happen out of nothing.
Just to be safe.
You know what I've never done?
Rape anyone.
It's pretty cool.
Yeah.
And so, so this, this video comes out and then people notice there are a lot of jump cuts.
There's a lot of edits in this video.
It's only four minutes.
It's only like four and a half minutes long.
So you would think that a guy who's been on, on camera before could do that in one take.
And then if he like boofed a spot here or there, you might maybe some mild editing, maybe do a second take.
But Mike, what if I told you that he went on probably like a 45 minute unhinged rant and they had to edit it down to four minutes of apology?
Or you know, getting out in front of it.
That is absolutely what happened.
That is very likely or possible.
But the most vicious part of this video is that has a line in the video that says my relationship for always consensual and there is a jump cut between the words always and consensual and if you're part of his management if you're part of his PR team if you're him
If you noticed that you had to do a cut between the words, always and consensual, wouldn't you just be like, okay, buddy, buddy, I know the story is going to like break in an hour or so, but let's go for another take there.
Like that, that is an edit that is really bad.
That is an edit that makes you look terrible.
So maybe, maybe we, uh, maybe we just put you back on the couch and do take two.
And Russell's like, nope, just run it.
Just, just edit the, put the edit in that you need to put in and just run that, run the video.
run the video Brad doesn't do two takes.
Yes.
Russell one take brand.
That's his Russell Brad.
I don't do two takes.
Exactly.
Yeah, so that all happened.
Exactly. Yeah. So that all happened. And as Haley was saying, like the story is incredibly
I mean, The Times, the article, it's brutal, it's well-sourced.
There was a cab driver who literally drove a 16-year-old to his place and then told the 16-year-old, don't go in there, don't do this, this is dangerous.
And the 16-year-old's like, hey, I'm okay with it.
Like, pound sand, cab driver.
It's 2010 and Russell Brand is somebody.
And he just wants to take me up to his room for drinks and we'll be totally fine.
Because he's not a creepy sex predator.
Oh wait, yes, he is.
He's not just one of the totally normal guys that's just like, hey, I would love you, 60-year-old girl, to come back to my hotel room by yourself for a deep conversation about the universe.
And apparently, again, Bran's, like, management team, like, told him, do not be seen in public with your girlfriend who is a teenager.
That is a bad look for us.
Keep this relationship on the down low.
Which, how about your PR team just tells him, don't date a 16-year-old, you fucking creep, you goddamn weirdo.
How about not doing that?
So...
This all happens, and everything's pretty documented, and holy shit are all the right-wing scumbags just crawling out of the woodwork to defend this guy and to claim that he's being railroaded.
Elon Musk fucking came out and was just like, I stand with Russell Branson- Elon, you- Immediately.
Yeah, Elon, buddy, what the fuck?
You're busy destroying yourself every other which way.
Why are you getting on board with Team Rapist to just really let people know how fucking ridiculous you are?
Yeah, it's like, hey, Elon.
Don't get me wrong, buddy.
I was already giving you credit for being able to smell your own, alright?
Don't worry.
You just sit down and wait for it to come out about you.
We all know it's coming at some point there, chief.
Like...
Didn't Andrew Tate also come out and have some shit to say about it?
Charlie Kirk, Ben Shapiro, all of them.
Yeah, it's just like, okay, well, the gang's all here, I guess.
Look at all of these upright, stalwart citizens defending this guy.
I'm not supposed to infer anything by who is supporting whom, but I will say, what a motley crew, you know?
What a cool group of folks.
Yeah.
We're just a good and normal group of men who've never had any scandals about them whatsoever.
Ben Shapiro was literally like, 16 is technically legal over there.
And it's like, okay, calm down, dude.
And also, it's the rape that was a lot of the issue here.
Yeah, it was the lack of consent.
We weren't talking about statutory issues here, we were talking about consent, buddy.
Yeah, this is the classic style.
This is, you know, this is sexual assault classic.
The one where somebody just like overpowers and or just penetrates without consent a person, you know?
Right.
And I love these people who are like, Russell Brand could have got laid by anybody.
Why would he have to do this?
And it's like, because assholes like him do that kind of shit.
Like there are so many famous people are monsters and consent is not an issue for them.
So yeah, they could have got, they could have had consensual sex.
They decided not to do so because they're terrible.
That's why.
Yeah, it sounds like he was into being a piece of shit, and that's the answer to why he didn't ask consensually.
That's the reason people... But the thing is, for anybody who doesn't... You should only need to be told that once in a situation like this.
So I know a lot of people out there who just feel like, oh, yeah, but so so so persecute whoever they want.
And that's their defense.
Anytime anything like this happens.
And it's just like, what do you just not understand that some people just get off on the power, the crime, the dominance, whatever, whatever version of it it is.
It's just like he was literally open about it.
That's why I was like comedy special because he kept like if you watch that special that hour and a half special that like Channel 4 or whatever put out the the UK fucking network BBC or whoever the fuck It I honestly don't recommend it because it's incredibly fucking graphic because it's like splicing these women's stories with like his comedy special and like he's pretty open about like yeah, I'm into I'm being, I'm into being a little abusive freak piece of shit.
Um, so yeah.
Uh, also some of his tweets were kind of coming out that were like, that was kind of a weird thing to say, talking about fucking teenagers and shit.
I've given out so many free org apps as a teenager.
Now it's time they could pay me back.
Yeah.
And it was like register to vote information.
Like, okay.
Whoa, what the fuck?
Jokes in hindsight are super not funny sometimes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, that's just the way of the world now.
You know, you say some shit, you think it's pretty funny at the time, and then 10 years in the window.
I mean, thankfully for me, my platform is small and the stuff I say is pretty benign.
But like, when my Facebook memories pop up, It'll just be some joke I made on my Facebook page like eight years ago, and I'm just like, ooh, composition-wise, I cleaned it up.
What's even the point?
Why do I even bother?
I'm just deeply, deeply ashamed of stuff I wrote for Batman.
That's what separates us from the animals.
Shame.
Yes.
With the Russell Brand thing though, it's just interesting to like, just all these people who like, were like, rah, rah, rah, Epstein conspiracy, Epstein, Epstein, Epstein.
It's, uh, Hollywood is a bunch of pedo cabal, rapist fucks.
The second, like, A rapist is exposed.
They're like, no, we must rally around him.
He's our hero.
He's one of us.
He's a white guy.
So white, though.
And he promotes anti-vaxx.
Yeah, he's one of us.
What convenient fucking timing.
Hmm.
That's what I kept saying.
Oh, convenient timing.
It's always convenient timing, isn't it?
Yeah, what's so convenient about this timing?
I don't know.
It's like, I've never heard of this fucking guy really, like, besides one movie.
Russell Brand was about to be on the come up.
He was a fucking has-been.
And like a lot of comedian has-beens, he slid into conservatism.
Like, joining the ranks of fucking, you know, Roseanne Barr and fucking, you know, dig dogs of her ilk.
It's just like, yeah, you, Joe Rogan.
It's just like, hey, guess what?
I couldn't hack it as a comedian anymore, so now I'm going conservative!
Oh yeah, we're going to take down Rob Schneider next week.
It's going to be like, oh, what timing on that!
It's like, oh, yeah, we waited for the primo moment to strike down Deuce Bigelow.
The stapler?
Yes.
I mean, it's just, oh my god, it's so ridiculous.
Unblock me, Rob.
You coward!
Dude, just hit him up on Blue Sky.
I don't think he's on there yet.
I think he's fine in his conservative bubble on Twitter.
Yeah, no, certainly he's on Blue Sky.
Everyone's on Blue Sky.
Yeah.
That's gonna be... I mean, granted, I guess a bunch of people are signing up right now, but man, my Blue Sky experience has been quite boring.
I like Blue Sky.
Well, I mean, I guess, like, it seems like the sort of thing, if you're leftist and politically minded, it seems pretty rad, because it just, it really just seems like... Yeah, it's all the journalists there so far, kind of.
Yeah, so it's just like, I'm seeing that and furry stuff exclusively.
It's the weirdest Go on the boards and find your place.
That was the thing about Twitter.
I didn't have to find shit.
It was just there.
That's why everybody liked it.
You went there and it was there.
Dude, I couldn't even get it to work the other day.
It was like, I was trying to look at comments.
It was just like, not working.
I tried to look at messages.
Not working.
I tried to load the timeline.
It wasn't working.
It's like, even if you want to go on Twitter, it's just like, not fucking possible.
Yeah, and I'm ashamed to admit, well, I'm proud to admit that I didn't do it, but I am ashamed to admit that for a time I was considering making a sock puppet account for browsing Twitter again, because Blue Sky is just so media.
Like, don't get me wrong, I'm not going to cancel my Blue Sky or anything, I'm going to wait for it to hopefully become a platform worth really engaging with, but My God.
I just, I just want to go to a place that just have dumb shit.
That's why I still use TikTok.
I, I load it up.
There's dumb shit.
I don't have to do any work.
It's there.
It's dumb.
Yeah.
You're not a political guy.
You're, you're, you're just, you're just hanging out on the internet guy.
You don't, you don't need blue sky.
Mike, you should use blue sky more though.
Okay, I'll try to overcome my blue sky passivity.
It's tough, though.
I'll try to overcome my blue sky passivity.
It's tough though.
It's just copy paste what you're already posting on Twitter.
It's well, if, if Elon has his way and actually charges for Twitter,
I'll be on blue sky immediately.
If he charges me five cents a month, I'm out.
Fuck him.
No.
Never.
Never not once.
Oh my god.
Yeah.
I'll mail you your hero medal right after I'm done turning my nose up at you for sticking with him through the name change to fucking X, which lasted longer than seven days, at which point I was like, I am done with this.
Yeah, it all sucks.
And you know what?
If I had 10,000 followers, I'd probably still be on it too, but I don't, so I get to turn my nose up at you.
I get to do it.
It is my right.
I accept that.
That is fair.
I get to suffer through the PBS of social media that is Blue Sky in order to turn my nose up at you for using the social media platform that's still actually where stuff is happening.
I'm starting to notice local reporters pay for a blue check, and I'm judging every one of you, so know that.
Oh, I don't give a fuck.
I don't give a fuck what business you run.
If you're paying for a blue check, you're fucking dead to me.
Yeah, and if you're a journalist doing it, you're extra dead to me.
It's not like your follower count goes down if you don't have that blue check.
It's just like, fuck it, stop paying Elon, or what are you, drunk?
Pay for your demise, you fucking idiots.
So stupid.
Anyway, I can't wait to jump over to Mastodon.
Wow, we're wildly off topic.
The best of the best combo.
It's okay, we're just moving on to another sex pest piece of shit, so who cares?
Yeah, and this one is somebody that has even less brand recognition, Bazinga.
I did that on purpose, than our previous creep.
Some guy whose last name is Ballard.
And apparently that's all I needed, that's all Mike gave me.
It's the Sound of Freedom guy.
Ballard.
I don't know.
Am I supposed to know him by name?
Tim Ballard.
Yes.
Jim Caviezel.
Jesus.
Jesus, but not Jesus.
I know Jim Caviezel because he's like an actor that was in movies.
This other guy is a nothing who did nothing until this.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So our boy, Tim Ballard, who may attempt to try to become a real something in the very near future, because I've been reading articles about how he's debating running for Senate in Utah, maybe going for Romney's seat.
Oh God, he could win.
That's awful.
Yes, no shit.
So, our boy Tim Ballard, who was the person portrayed in Sound of Freedom by Jesus as the petto-ring-crushing hero... Oh, okay, bet.
Now I know who this guy is.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I didn't know if he was the director or what.
No, I didn't know.
The guy who was allegedly this cool badass in real life that almost certainly was not.
It's the it's he's the guy that that Jesus is mythologizing in Sound of Freedom.
He is a real person who still is alive and is very entangled in the like politics and all this shit.
Yeah, so Sandra Freedom comes out, is a sleeper hit, everyone's freaking out, and then Operation Underground Railroad, which is the organization that Ballard founded to quote-unquote fight trafficking, suddenly they just kick him out of the organization, and they really don't explain why they did this.
But now this week it came out that seven different women have accused him of sexual harassment and assault and that he was grooming them and was very aggressive with them and was doing everything he could to turn their relationships sexual and That there were periods of time where he would either make them lay in bed with him to quote unquote trick human traffickers or let him grope them.
And a lot of times when this sort of thing would provoke outrage from them, Tim would claim, how far are you willing to go to fight human traffickers?
Literally have them showering with him?
Like, what do you need to do this for?
Yeah, you gotta shower with me to show that you can fight human trafficking.
How?
Why?
Well, if they're looking for you and you have no place to hide but the shower with me, you have to be in the shower with me.
But I don't have to be naked in the shower with you, do I?
Yes!
Yes, you do!
It's the only way!
Their vision is based on clothing!
Naked human beings are not visible to child traffickers!
This is how this works.
I'm Tim Ballard.
I'm very smart and not a creepy sex pest.
Yeah, so...
Yeah, so this may be your next senator from Utah.
Utah, shape up here.
Don't fucking let that happen, please.
And thank you.
Because this guy is clearly a fucking monster and a total piece of shit.
And thank God Jim Caviezel and these other right-wing ding-dongs created a movie to turn him into some sort of like super soldier, child trafficking, God hero, whatever.
And now that guy is going to be able to try to run off that movie too.
Cause all he has to do is win the Utah Republican primary and he's in.
There's no Democrats going to win a statewide election in Utah.
I mean, Jesus Christ.
So.
Yeah, that is, I mean, cause Russell Brand's a nothing nobody who's never going to go anywhere at this point.
And it's mostly going to be his stories about him being canceled or him being arrested.
But if Ballard actually goes through with this and actually runs for fucking Senate, then boy howdy, that would be super scary.
Cause you know, he's got the Utah QAnon vote locked up.
Oh my God.
Like that, that section of the Republican primary field.
He's very popular.
Oh yeah.
You thought the rallying around Brand was wild?
The rallying around Ballard?
Oh my goodness.
He does like events here.
He does like events, you know, I mean he does.
He does the tours with like, you know, Republican parties all around the country because like they're all into Sound of Freedom too.
Like Sound of Freedom had a premiere here with our Republicans.
It had a showing at Mar-a-Lago.
Like he's pretty...
involved in Republican politics.
So yeah, I think they'll rally behind him pretty fucking hard, which is annoying.
It's a no man.
Just imagine us having a senator worse than J.D.
Vance or talking about being related to an elder.
I thought that was hilarious.
Oh, yeah.
I saw that the Mormon Church was like, fuck you, buddy.
You don't fucking- you don't trade on our brand without fucking being right about it.
Like, can you imagine being a white male in Utah and stepping so far out of your lane the Mormon Church comes at you?
Oh, my God.
Like, how badly have you fucked that up?
Oh, man.
Jesus.
Also, what a lie.
Just like, yeah, I'm related to an elder.
Why?
Why even make that little lie?
Dude, because in Utah, that might make you the Pope.
I guess, yeah.
That's like Riz in Utah.
You're getting free non-alcoholic beverages?
It's gonna be crazy.
Women very politely asking you for a conversation.
So good.
Okay.
And as always, wrapping up our news segment, we couldn't escape it.
Even though you may have been tricked into thinking we were going to escape it, you were fucking wrong, listener, because we are talking about Donald Trump.
I guess.
I mean, mostly because he's always doing some stupid horse shit.
Yeah.
So our boy, Donald Trump, we have a little two-for of him, a smorgasbord of our esteemed former president.
Step one is the fact that he gave an interview where he made it clear that it was his decision to try to overturn the 2020 election, not his lawyers, not anybody else, that the buck stops with him when it comes to this whole criminal conspiracy to try to undo the election that he lost.
He's like, look, I'm the one that wanted to do this.
It is on me.
So please, Donnie, keep doing interviews.
Keep building the case against you in court.
I think this is a very smart thing for you to do because it's awesome.
And the other thing that, uh, our boy did, uh, was he gave a very long rambling speech.
And during this speech, uh, he confused, uh, Obama with, uh, Biden and Hillary at some points.
And then when he eventually figured out that he had screwed that up, then he put Biden into his, uh, word salad.
And then he declared that Biden is going to lead us into World War II.
That Joe Biden is in competent leadership in Russia.
That's it, folks.
World War II.
That's where we're headed.
We're headed to World War II.
It would be great if we didn't feel inclined to bust out of such a small gaffe, but considering the Republicans' whole deal is, hey, Joe Biden is too old and enfeebled to be our president, and this is the guy they want to run instead of him.
It's just like, your guy is old and out of shape and enfeebled.
Your guy sucks!
He's worse in every way except for literally the number.
The grandmas are fighting.
Right.
It's so funny to me.
We should elect younger people.
I'd be sick.
On the other hand, you've got Mitch the Dirtle McDirtle McGonnell, like, fucking going into
power saving mode live on air in front of you multiple times.
It's like that person needs medical assistance, dog.
Relieve him of his duties and let him stay at home with a blanket over his lap.
What are you doing?
Yeah, it's, I mean, everything is a projection.
They're so scared of their doddering, slow crawling down a ramp, senile candidate, that they have to project all this enfeeblement and senility upon Biden to try to make it seem fair when it's just not.
And I think the funniest thing was Watching the speech that Trump gave, when he says Obama's name, he knows he got it wrong.
He knows he didn't say the right name.
And you can just see this like look of frustration wash over his face.
Like he's like, Ooh, fuck that word up.
God damn it.
Why is my old brain not working properly?
And it's like, cause you're old.
And you're probably battling long COVID because remember that COVID case that nearly killed you at the end of your presidency?
That probably just didn't go away.
I mean, that's probably really bad.
So, I mean, it's.
It's just really wild that everything they're doing is this massive bit of projection.
And there's now an article coming out that Trump is worried about having to wear a jumpsuit if he goes to prison.
And he's been talking to his attorneys about that possibility.
And it's like, yes, you don't get to—you're not going to have a wardrobe.
You're not going to have a clothing—you're not going to have a closet to put your suit on in the morning.
Yeah, and let's be real, is he worried about the fact that he has to wear the jumpsuit?
Or the fact that they're probably not gonna let him wear Spanx or his girdle or whatever, whatever stuff he's got going on to mitigate whatever public damage his real body would have on his, like, effect, you know?
Yes!
He's cultivated this image that I'm sure if there are clothing ways to get around some of the more obvious weaknesses in his armor, he might do that.
You dig?
Yes, absolutely.
Oh my god.
Yeah, he is... I can't wait for his first interview for President where he just like, he's visibly just like, you know, always like, it's just like, oh, you mean he wasn't six foot three and 220 pounds of pure muscle this whole time?
He's just like, You know, the food in prison is not as bad as they say.
I've been putting on a lot of weight really fast.
They're just like, Mr. President, you've only been in here for seven days.
He's just like, I know.
It's crazy.
I put on my 35 pounds.
I don't know what they're feeding me.
I'm bulking up.
I'm starting my sumo career.
Yeah.
You know, actually, I think this is what the kids call getting prison swole.
I'm getting swole.
Oh, and the one last little tidbit.
I don't know if this is for either of the two cases that are going to be starting up real soon, because our boy Cheese Bro and our lady, the Kraken, the two of them asked for speedy trials in Georgia, and the DA there accommodated them.
So they're going on trial in October, very soon.
And it has been released that one of the witnesses, For the state in these cases is going to be Lin Wood, our old QAnon nutball buddy, Lin Wood.
Haven't heard that name in the age of a dog.
Yes.
He's just been chilling in his plantation.
He's out in his plantation talking about how much he loves Trump and MAGA and promoting QAnon bullshit, and now he... I'm assuming he will be a hostile witness, but he is going to be a witness testifying on behalf of the state against the defendants in the RICO case in Georgia.
And the best part about the Georgia trials is they're gonna be televised!
We're gonna see Linwood on the stand doing his shit.
So, yeah.
Oh, I hope he brings his gun.
I don't think he's gonna be allowed to bring the gun to court.
As much as that would be great.
Why?
This damn country.
Can't even bring your gun to court anymore.
Yeah, bullshit.
Bullshit.
Let alone bring his gun.
I'm not supposed to shoot a judge!
Oh, we used to be a country.
A proper country.
We used to be.
Not so much anymore.
I hope he wears the most racist, like, plantation-ass outfit.
The worst part- Worst damn thing to ever happen in this country is when the transgenders took away our court guns.
Yes!
God damn it.
Fucking God.
I hate how much they love transphobia for no reason.
They've got literal no leg to stand on and they just love it so much.
My favorite thing with these people is that you will literally see on their timelines like back-to-back tweets being like, the WNBA is stupid and terrible and women's athletics is shit.
Why are you putting this woke agenda on ESPN?
Hashtag boycott ESPN.
Hashtag I hate everything.
Hashtag boo.
And then the next post will be like, Trans Swimmer Wins Race!
Women's Athletics Being Tarnished By Men Converting To Women To Steal Their Glory!
And it's like, just a second ago you said you hated women's athletics.
Now women's athletics is what you care about and you're so scared that trans people are going to ruin it?
It's just, oh my god.
These people are just such- I also love the idea that somebody's just like, you know what?
I really love swimming.
But I don't love it enough to just get better at it.
So what I'm going to do is change everything about my life and hope that I'm better at it than this other field of competitors.
Just, just get as good at swimming as you can be.
Just be satisfied.
Like, that person, that would be an insane choice for somebody to make.
To uproot their whole life.
To opt in for all of the hate that trans people get just to be good at a sport!
Relative to some other people!
Like, it's so crazy!
Anyway...
Yeah, it's just the most ridiculous thing.
It's literally an excuse to try to find an issue where You can try to get Joe Sixpack to maybe agree with you on, yeah, it isn't fair that the men are competing against the women.
That's kind of bullshit.
And you just use that as a wedge to try to just hate trans people across the board.
Because you have this one thing where it's like morally ambiguous or gray.
If a trans woman has an advantage over a cis woman in the athletic competition.
And so they're just like, well, this is our one in to try to get people to be upset about this.
Because if we just say we hate trans people for no good reason at all, that just makes us look like the hateful bigots we are.
So we have to massage this.
We have to try to, try to find some way to like, like sugarcoat our bigotry.
And it's ridiculous.
Kid comes home from school.
He angrily throws his basketball across the room.
Slumps down in his seat.
He's angry.
I'll never get better at basketball!
And then he throws it on his TV.
Live on ESPN3 from the Dallas Superdome, it's the All Leper Basketball League!
And then he's just like, maybe I can get leprosy and then I can be good at basketball.
And everyone in his life is just like, no, just train hard and, you know, and love the game for who, you know, what you're, what you want to do here is to save, right?
And he's just like, no, I will become the greatest lumber master in the land.
Why don't we have an unlimited budget for skits?
Why can't we do little skits that nobody watches on YouTube?
Anyway.
Donald Trump remains a moron.
The wheel turns ever onward.
Let's move to our mailbag for the week, shall we?
Our listeners got questions.
We got answers.
It's time for Q and A. Pancake Peasant asks, I need cool Ren Faire ideas.
Do y'all have any suggestions?
What do you mean here?
What do you mean?
Don't go to a Ren Faire.
Boom.
Wow!
What do you mean?
You're supposed to dress... You're supposed to put... Okay, here's my... I don't know.
This is a vague question, so I'm gonna... I'm just gonna throw it out there.
Get some fake elf ears.
Put some flowers in your hair.
Maybe like a flower crown.
Make one if you need.
I have one right there that I wear to the Ren Faire.
And, um, you have to get a dress or top or something that, like, pushes your titties up in a way that is, like, mathematically impossible.
Courses are very popular.
Yeah.
And have a turkey leg.
I don't know.
I was making the dumb joke mostly because I know that I'm currently in the middle of planning a trip to go to the Ren Faire this year.
So if pancake passage isn't cool, then I am also not cool because I'm going to the Ren Faire this year.
I'd like to.
Ren Faires are cool.
They're fun.
My advice would be to child free it if you can.
Like if you can do just like adult Like Child Free, Ren Faire, because there's a lot of like, Ren Faire seems like the sort of thing that a kid would love, but there's a lot of like subtle resistance to the general vibe that you might not think about immediately.
Like the fact that it's just like in some woods or whatever, like so it's going to be hard on their little feets all day.
Ours is in the middle of the desert like two hours out of the city and it's like one road and it you just stuck on it for hours and it's like yeah you don't want to take chances.
And there's probably going to be like Skeeters and other pests and they're going to be tired and cranky and the bathroom situation is probably not going to be great.
And you know, like there's, they might get scared at some stuff.
So like kids are just like, they're just like, Oh, I'd love to take my kid to this.
It's just like, I've been around enough kids at Ren Fairs to know that it's a coin flip as to whether or not they're going to want to be there at all.
There's a lot of Shakespeare, you know, is your kid like a nerd?
Does he like Shakespeare?
Probably not.
He probably likes Fortnite.
So you probably don't want to take him.
Because they don't really do those, like the jousts or whatever.
Those things do not run constantly.
They are a lot of work.
It's like a timed thing.
There's like sad camels that are sometimes.
I wouldn't recommend even bringing your kid to that because it's like kind of depressing, in my opinion.
You're going to want to dip your hand in the wax and make a hand candle.
You're going to want to see some glass blowers and some flamethrowers.
You know what we always have at ours?
There's always this guy that sets up, and it's like, yeah, typical fucking, I don't even know, like a wooden, it's a store with like wooden dragons or some shit, and he's got InfoWars shit all over that place.
It's like, there's weirdos there, you know?
Nice.
Yeah, I mean, I'm sure there's a lot of overlap, like, conservative people love dressing up, you know?
They love a Civil War reenactment, they love a Red Fair, they love a plantation, like, debutante thing, they just love dressing up.
If you're planning on costuming and you are going to be, whatever costume you're putting together is going to be presenting as male, one of the hallmark costuming tips is that you should probably have a hat of some kind.
Period-appropriate people didn't go hatless unless they were like monks or whatever.
Like everybody had like a cap or something that they would have to keep their head protected from the harsh sun or whatever.
So if you're going to be doing costuming, look into a hat.
Because not having a hat, like, you're not the fucking witcher.
Have a hat!
I think that's my one thing is like how serious is your Ren Faire?
Is it like fully medieval or is it just cosplay?
Because I've seen Ren Faires where people are knights and then you have a few elves and stuff like that and you keep that kind of theme and then you have Ren Faires where Deadpool's hanging out and it's just this kind of thing where it's like okay is this an actual like medieval Ren Faire or is this just I got my cosplaying gear I'm putting on my cosplay.
You want a hard dress code?
Well, I just want to know, like, what is... I mean, I kind of do.
Like, if I'm at a Red Fair, I either want you to be dressed like a regular Ding Dong, like me, because I'm not wearing costumes, or, like, be in period-appropriate, like, or theme-appropriate, like, costumes.
Like, don't show up as, like... Don't be the guy that shows up dressed as, like, a Star Trek character or whatever, you know?
You're not cool.
It's like, oh, so subversive.
You were supposed to show up as one thing, and you showed up as a different thing.
That's crazy.
Dude, get this on TikTok or whatever.
These guys are different.
They're like...
Yeah.
I don't know.
Our renter has like a royal guard, like a royal, a whole royal, like it has a queen and a king and like their whole fucking, you know, audit.
Is yours a year round or seasonal?
It's seasonal.
Um, but like when they, like the queen walks around and like they have the like make way for the queen and she just literally walks around the whole fucking day and then she shows up at the Joust and like you can eat with her at like one of the restaurants and it's like a whole thing.
It's very similar to how our local one is.
There's the court and they walk around and greet the people and they have their nights with them.
So, you know, that way you get to see knights walking around in their full shit.
Also, I think, I think the Queen might be the one who oversees the arts house.
I haven't been in many, many years.
So maybe this is Jade because of what I'm about to say.
But they used to have a cleavage competition.
They don't have that at ours!
I can't remember if it was the Queen or the King that presided over that.
I think it may have been the Queen to make it seem a little less sketchy.
That's awesome.
But yeah, it was a big core city cleavage competition that anyone that wanted to could enter and try to win a prize.
Anyway, yeah, rent fairs are a blast every once in a while.
I feel like there are diminishing returns year over year, so I tend to like to go to them once every like five to ten years.
Definitely.
I haven't been there in a long time.
I love a rent fair.
It just happens to be the season for it.
Love it.
I worked at Excalibur, and we had like King Henry, it was like King Richard's Fair, and it was basically like a jousting competition, and you go and It was basically like a two-hour Ren Faire kind of thing, where they had the pageantry, they had the medieval theme.
Like Medieval Times, but in a casino?
Yes!
So this was the most ridiculous thing.
Excalibur gets bought by another company, and because Excalibur is this run-down, dingy, shitty casino, our first concern is, well, this new company's just going to blow us up.
Just turn it, rebuild the property into something that isn't a dumb, bad-looking casino castle thing.
They did this jousting competition, we all get into the King Richard's Fair, they do the jousting competition, and then our new CEO pretended that she was on the horse doing the jousting, because the person riding the horse disappeared, and then our CEO walked out wearing a headset, having quote-unquote taken her helmet off, and she was wearing a full suit of armor.
So that was how our new CEO of Excalibur addressed her new employees for the first time.
Just wearing a suit of armor.
Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah.
How do you know that she didn't get off the horse?
I don't!
It was very slick.
It was done very slickly.
It could absolutely have been her on the horse doing the jousting.
Also, if she really wanted to sell, I think it would have been a lot funnier if the horse rides off a full night, all the deal, rides off, fucking did a thing, and then here she comes out, full business blazer suit, looking bad good, full night helmet on top of it, just talking into a headset through it, just being like, Hey everybody, just got off my horse, it's good to be here and finally meet Charmian, his CEO, Sir Whoever!
Yes!
Oh god, yeah, that was not great.
But yeah, I was just like, man, seriously, I just would love to know who went through the whole idea of, yeah, you should be wearing this suit of armor, it would be totally awesome.
So yeah, no, no it wasn't.
Thankfully, basically, the only thing that mattered was she was like, we are not blowing Excalibur up.
And we were all like, yay!
We get to keep our jobs!
So that was, so thanks, Knight Lady, CEO, for not blowing up my casino.
Much appreciated.
Thank you, sir.
Continued employment.
Yes.
Yes!
Of the Devonshire Continued Employments.
Yes.
DR initially asks, what are the odds that RFK Jr.
is being propped up to help divide the electorate in an effort to help the GOP in 2024?
That's basically 100%, but I don't know.
Yeah, that's what happened.
But it doesn't really work in the sense that there's really no one that would vote for RFK Jr.
who was originally voting for Biden and then was like, oh shit, I've got a shinier, better new toy than Biden.
RFK Jr., absolutely the play.
Like, literally all he had going for him was the last name Kennedy and thus the name recognition that gave, but the moment the man talks, you find out that he's an anti-vax crank who also, by the way, has a Nazi running his Twitter feed, so that ain't great.
I mean, so it's just...
I really don't understand what the point of him was.
He's not being subtle.
He came here to the border to do border propaganda.
Who are you trying to win over?
What Democrat is just like, yeah, R.F.K.
Jr.
is tough on the border.
Yeah.
I don't remember if we brought this up on the podcast previously, but there was a moment where he was just like, 14 days ago, I asked for Secret Service protection, and it's been 88 days since my campaign began, and just literally put 1488 into one of his tweets.
And people did the math, and no one knows what his Secret Service request was given, but it wasn't 88 days since he started his campaign.
It was total bullshit.
That's why Eric Clapton is totally doing one of his events.
He's opening for one of his events.
He's a piece of shit, too.
So yeah, only the best people rallying around the...
Yeah.
I want him to hold a rally here because I feel it'll be like 10 Jimmy Dore fans and like a Glenn Greenwald fan and like some guy that still has his Occupy shirt on but he listens to Tim Pool now and like just the weirdest fucking crowd, you know?
Just the weirdest crowd.
Some Red Scare fans.
Just, you know, you got Grimes in the audience for some fucking reason.
I just love the Occupy the Gym Pool pipeline.
It's true.
It's gotta be there.
Oh my god.
Oh, well, yeah.
Fuck R.F.K.
Jr.
and his dumb campaign.
But one of the guys I follow, one of the QAnon promoters I follow, is just adamant that R.F.K.
Jr.
either has to be Trump's vice president or has to be a part of the Trump administration because Trump just isn't solid enough on vaccines.
We need like a hardcore lunatic anti-vaxxer in Trump's ear in order to make sure that Our message, the QAnon message is getting through to the God Emperor, because otherwise it just ain't going to work.
So yeah.
I just, I mean, like Colonel West, like trying to be the Green Party candidate, that's more the appropriate, like trying to rat fuck.
I'm trying to actually siphon off votes to Biden's left, because RFK Jr.
is just a Republican.
He's running Democrat for God knows what reason, but he's...
He's running Democrat mostly for QAnon people to be like, well, the DNC is going to steal it from RFK Jr.
Cause they fucking won't let him win.
And it's like, no, he's no one's stealing it from RFK Jr.
He's going to get no votes.
Cause no Democrats actually want that guy to be like their, their nominee cause he sucks shit.
So yeah, tough, tough.
I'm the buff Kennedy.
Oh god.
RFK did something where he was like, you vote for me because I'm someone who will finish his term.
And someone was like, oh yeah, Kennedy's finishing their term.
That always happens.
That's what I want to vote for.
Vote for me.
I'm fucking yoked.
And then he did like a set, like 150 pounds, and he was like blown up after like lifting it like four times.
Yeah.
He's, you know, he may have been introduced to some friends.
Some technical friends.
Anyway.
Yeah, that guy's got show muscles, not go muscles.
Anyhow, that brings us to our question.
The question always ends the mailbag.
What are you guys looking forward to?
Me and the lads are about to finish our four-player playthrough of Baldur's Gate 3, which is pretty exciting.
Outstanding!
Just because it's like, it's a testament to the fact that sometimes you can get adults together to do a thing reliably.
Like every two or three days we get together and we play for like two or three hours and Over the course of the past couple of weeks, we've knocked out just about all of it.
We're deep into the third act, and we've got a few more major quests to wrap up, and then that should be the biscuit.
So, looking forward to finishing that off, and it will be a testament to being able to complete something you set your mind to as an adult.
And not Starfield, so yes, that is good.
Yeah, I'll play Starfield when it stops being fucking boring, so probably never.
What are you looking forward to, Hayley?
Nothing in particular whatsoever.
So, we'll say...
Look, Hayley, are you okay?
Do we need to do an intervention?
You know what I'm looking forward to?
I'm looking forward to my arm stop hurting because I got the vaccine and my arm literally just went numb and died.
I mean, that is unfortunate, but that's also kind of whack is the only thing you're looking forward to.
I mean, I'm looking forward to a lot of things.
You want the full fucking itinerary?
You know, we ask this question every week and you're always just like, I don't know, I don't like anything.
I'm not like a planner, you know?
It's like, what do you want from me?
It's just such a big play and it gives me a thing you like.
It's like, what am I looking forward to?
Like, bro, I live by the day by day.
Like, I don't know what I'm doing later.
I'm looking forward to whatever.
Look forward to a delicious pizza.
Yeah, I'm looking forward to whatever the fuck I eat later and whatever the fuck I do tomorrow.
I don't know what I'm doing.
I love how I'm the asshole for just being like, hey, you should probably have stuff in your life to look forward to.
Like, fuck you.
I don't want to like shit.
I'm fucking miserable and I fucking like it that way.
I'm not!
I like a lot of things.
It's just like, I don't know what I'm looking forward to, man.
You want me to plan my week ahead and then tell you what I'm looking forward to?
What if I'm disappointed?
That's fine.
What are you disappointed in?
We're fine.
Whatever emotions... We're gonna practice mirroring.
I'm gonna energy match you, Hayley.
No, we're not modifying shit.
This is the intervention.
We'll make Hayley spark joy in her life.
I will.
I'll find something.
I'd rather die than modify it.
I'd rather die!
Heh heh heh heh heh heh.
Heh heh heh heh heh.
FYI, El's doing an inside joke with me that is actually destroying me right now.
Heh heh heh heh heh.
Alright, well, I'm so sorry.
Stop dying so you can deliver us your excitement.
I'm looking forward to the fact that I'll be joining Hayley in the ranks of the omni-vaccinated very shortly, because this afternoon I'm getting my appointment to receive the latest in Bill Gates' Netobot technology.
So I, too, will be enjoying a sore arm very soon.
Because I am just like the luckiest shucklefuck in the world, because I work this incredibly public job, and as I've mentioned innumerate times before, casinos are an incredibly Republican, white man-based, like, customer base, so...
No one, like, there's like, there's like two or three masks in my building at any given time.
Like, 400 people in the building, two of them are masked up.
So it's just like, the fact that I've never gotten COVID, and this isn't even like a not been tested, so I don't know if I didn't get it kind of thing.
But every time I've had a funky cold, I've been like, fuck, this could be it.
And I get tested and I don't have it.
So the fact that I've never gotten COVID has been like super miraculous.
So the moment I saw the TV ads or like the updated boosters are here.
I'm like, I'm just running to the pharmacy immediately.
Put it, hit me with it.
Give me it.
Give me three of them.
I don't care.
I need it.
Cause like my job is a place where no one, no one takes this seriously at all.
Like the clientele do not care in any way, shape or form.
Um, A while ago, we had one guy who would show up on the weekends to play some blackjack.
And he had a hat that that read, fuck your masks and fuck your vaccine.
Yeah, that's the mentality of our customers.
It's great.
So just like Yeah, looking forward to that.
Enjoying the fact that I have steered out of the skin for my fantasy football teams.
So boom, go me.
And hopefully that continues the pace.
And beyond that, just counting down the days for my glorious liberation and so on and so forth.
And I will leave it at that.
Yes.
How cryptic.
Not even I know what the fuck you're talking about.
But on that note, it is time for us to hop on our Segway scooters.
Remember those?
And drift slowly, but stabilized, out of Hell's world.
Not our one-wheel rollerblades or skateboards or whatever those fucking things are?
No.
I mean, I can't imagine one of those big enough for me.
I think if I found one of those big enough for me, I would look like a Batman villain.
All I can remember, I just remember that entirely because we had that video of those people doing that fake bootcamp, and they're all like, calling them a drill sergeant or whatever, just gliding by them on the monowheel.
Yeah, that's a really bad job.
It was so awesome!
The fake vet bro coming in on the monowheel, you gotta want it!
You gotta earn it!
And it's like, dude, you're on a monowheel smoking a cigar.
You're not a drill sergeant.
Get the fuck out of here.
Yeah, no way.
I mean, God, could you imagine the size of one of those big enough for me?
That would be insane.
When I win the Powerball, I'm building you one.
Yeah, it's gonna be like, it's me, the fat goblin.
Uh, okay.
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Thank you so much to all of our beautifuller babies up in the crib.
If you have money and you don't want to give us to us because we're a bunch of ding-dongs, you can do some good with it in various ways.
We would suggest donating it to love146.org, their organization whose vision is the end of child trafficking and exploitation.
Thank you, as always, to DJ Minimal Effort for use of our intro song.
No social media for them.
Good for them.
Thank you, as always, to Frosty, our voiceover artist who does all of our drops and our voice of Q. They can be found on Twitter, at FrostyVO.
You can find the show that you're listening to on Twitter currently, at hellworld, with a Q instead of an O. You can find Mike Rains there, as well, at PokerPolitics.
Also, on Blue Sky, at PokerPolitics, as well as Haley at AZRWW.
Yeah, just look for Arizona Write Watch.
It's just me.
Rebrand recently.
We got the wing out of there.
Now it's just the right watch.
No more wing.
Don't sue me.
Soon it's just going to be Arizona watch.
Then it's going to be air watch.
Then it's going to be watch.
Then wah!
Someone brought this up that boneless wings can't be called wings because it's like, they're just nugs.
They're just not actual wings.
So if you go to, if you go to the supermarket, it's wings, W-Y.
It's a Y instead of an I and a Z instead of an S. It's wangs.
You should be Arizona White Wangs, watch.
Oh no.
No, I did not endorse Transitioning Arizona Right Wag Watch.
That will be an invitation to a disastrous DM situation, I'm sure.
Okay, anyway, and you can find me on Blue Sky at Mysterious L. I abandoned Twitter because it sucks.
Anyway, thank you once again for everybody listening.
As always, I have been one of your hosts, the Mysterious Al, joined as always by our boots on the ground in Arizona, Haley, aka Arizona Right Watch, and our expert in all things QAnon crazy, Mr. Mike Rains.
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