Adventures in HellwQrld Episode #157: Elon's a Traitor and Biden Impeachment with Amanda Moore
This week L's on vacation so we had Amanda Moore fill in to talk about Boebert getting kicked out of a theater, Elon being a traitor and a moron, and the GOP trying to impeach Biden and not having a good time of it. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in depth about QAnon, which means we have to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people.
Listener discretion advised.
Hello, everybody.
I am Mike Rains, a.k.a.
Poker and Politics, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld.
This week, I am joined, as always, by Haley, a.k.a.
Arizona Right Watch, because we don't want to get sued!
That's right.
That's me.
Always been me.
That's always been my name.
That's me.
Hi, everybody.
Everything we just said there is absolutely true and accurate.
And we are also joined this week by Amanda, a.k.a.
Frank the Turtle, because everyone on this show has nicknames!
I also hope I don't get sued by the children's book.
They just found out.
They're getting ready to see you now.
Although I really did enjoy the idea of your podcast being called The Turtle Diaries.
I really hope that one day that does manifest and become a thing.
Who's gonna see you?
You know, a bunch of dead Nazis and alive Nazis?
Oh no, I meant the cartoon character Franklin who's at war.
Oh, that's right.
That part of it.
The fact that I'm actually aggressively just stealing someone's intellectual property!
That one.
And also, like, putting it on a pretty infamous white power text.
That's inspired a lot of terrorism.
It's probably bad.
Not me!
Yeah, but the turtle.
The little turtle.
Sorry.
I forgot about the turtle.
I should make an original turtle.
It was just funny because your name was Frank.
I know, it's okay.
It's okay.
I basically heard about Amanda like one day before she was doxxed, basically.
That was my relationship with Amanda.
I was talking to someone about trying to locate Some right-wingers somewhere, and they said, you should get in touch with this lady who's been working undercover with right-wingers all across America.
Ba-di-ba.
And I was like, oh, that sounds really interesting.
And the next thing I know, this big thing comes out that she's been doxxed and that this Frank the Turtle character is actually Amanda, ba-ba-ba.
And I was just like, wow, this has all been going on under my nose for literally a decade, apparently.
A decade.
Thousands of years.
Thousands of years.
Before man stole fire from the gods, Amanda was infiltrating right-wing fascist groups.
She was in Brutus' camp when he was getting ready to kill Caesar.
And she was like, yo, Caesar.
You see her there with her phone in her American flag shirts?
Yes.
Teyvon is taking notes right now and is like, OK, so she is a Nazi.
This is what I'm hearing.
I'm sure you don't listen to our podcast that often, but we're running a Haley supercut of horrifying things Haley has admitted to.
I always say things out of context.
Right.
So that's our goal here for you, is for you to say something out of context to validate Stu Anon and all the other dirtbags, where you just make some off-the-cuff comment of, oh yeah, I was a Nazi.
And then we're like, boom, did it.
Clip it.
Did it.
Clip it.
Jim Stewart's confirmed.
He did it.
He wins.
I have lots of quotes that will get me canceled.
I'm not used to talking, you know, with words.
Um, so it's, it's kind of a new thing for me.
So I'm always just like, oh yeah, I'm always on Nazi networks.
Sarge is like, what?
Or Elle.
She's dead.
Sorry, everybody.
Yes.
Sorry, everyone.
Huh?
You're what?
You're on what websites?
Because he doesn't know me that well, so it kind of makes me seem a little weird.
I've liked it when I meet new people just say stuff like, I don't drink Bud Light because it's too woke.
I don't give any context.
Yeah.
Oh, that's great.
I love the idea of just just living in that bubble is so bizarre.
And like, right wing lunacy is definitely a bubble.
That is like hard, right?
It's bad.
But the one thing that I've learned in my life is that living working in casinos as I have, for I don't know now, like two decades, basically, The casino bubble is not great if you're trying to figure out what America's political ideology and stuff is.
I literally had a woman shooting craps yesterday that was wearing the QAnon shirt where it's the picture of Trump like glaring at the camera and it says, they're not after me, they're after you.
I'm just in the way.
And it's just like every, literally every day I see some bit of Trump paraphernalia or some sort of Biden sucks and I'm mad at him like kind of thing.
And it's just, if the people That were in casinos, were the only voters in America, Republicans would have had a 200 year rule over our nation.
Biden would be executed.
On television.
Yes, absolutely.
Oh my God.
I, In the past, since the indictments, I've seen a shirt that said, indict this.
And it was a picture of Trump and like two skeleton middle fingers on either side of it.
I actually saw the never surrender Trump mugshot shirt that made its way into the room.
Because I'm just like, man.
But the greatest moment of political discourse that I've ever seen in a casino was after Obama won re-election in 2012.
I had an older man talking to a younger woman and they were both in agreement.
They were very mad that young women selfishly voted for Obama.
That was the actual terminology they used.
They were like, we could have had a great president, but these young women, they just selfishly voted for Obama.
They didn't see it.
And I just thought to myself, What on earth are you allowed to be selfish about more than your own vote?
Like, who I want to run the country feels like something I should be a little selfish about.
I shouldn't be like, you know, I want Obama, but for the good of the people over there, I gotta vote Romney.
I gotta do everybody a solid and vote for Med.
It was just the greatest thing.
And like, they're just nodding and just like, yeah, dumb young women.
Gotta take away our right to vote, you know?
It wasn't for those dumb fucking women.
We wouldn't have Obama.
We wouldn't have Trump again.
Fucking women.
I see this argument all the time in right-wing circles.
They have like graphs where it's like, if women didn't vote, this is how many states would have gotten red.
And it's like all of them.
This is why women shouldn't vote.
Yeah.
Yeah, what was I going to say?
I remember someone was talking about what would happen if Trump had won re-election in 2020 and they said something to the effect of Alito and Thomas would resign and be replaced by two Federalist Society judges who think the 19th Amendment is quote-unquote murky.
I just thought that was the greatest thing to say possibly.
Just having some guys on the Supreme Court going, what does sex exactly mean when it comes to the right to vote?
This is very confusing.
We need to litigate this a little.
And it's just like, yeah, that probably would happen.
We would probably get to that point.
I mean, we got Vivek trying to up the voting age to 25.
I mean, they don't want women to vote.
Oh, I thought she meant the voluntary repatriation of born citizens.
That's what I thought she was going to say.
That was cool.
Yeah, that also, but on top of that, Vivek was also just like the voting age would be mid-25.
18 through 24 can't vote because you dumb kids are going to vote for the liberals.
I mean, because you don't hate gay people and women enough yet.
You've got to age up a little and learn to hate better before you're allowed to vote.
And no first gens, you know.
Oh no.
We're too woke, us, because our parents, you know.
So we got to get out of here.
That's what, that's what Vivek's saying, which is cool.
Doesn't that include him?
I'm just curious, are his parents American born?
Like, does that not include him?
Well, it was if your parents were not here illegally and then they had you.
Oh, okay.
I thought he was doing full no birthright citizenship.
I guess that was something else.
Oh, I think he is, but that's, you know, that doesn't, it's not backdated, you know?
Yeah.
You know, so you don't have to go if you're already, Everything's on their parents.
Yeah, lucky you.
I just love the fact that basically these assholes can't even talk about all the damage that
we've had through racism in America.
And that birthright citizenship was literally a fuck you to the slavers.
Because the slavers were just like, no, we are never going to give blacks citizenship.
No, screw you.
We are going to fight this tooth and nail.
And then after the good guys won the Civil War, which a lot of these people disagree with, They were like, no, guess what?
If you're born inside of America, you're a citizen.
Get fucked, assholes.
And now there's like, that isn't cool.
And it's like, well, maybe if the people you weren't supporting were slavers, maybe we wouldn't have had to taken this drastic step to try to give people rights.
Just this desperate attempt to shoehorn rights in for non-white people, which we're still fighting for all over a century later.
But Elon Musk just liked a tweet about how there's no racism against black people in America, so I don't know your assessment is correct.
Yeah, Elon's on to something.
Yeah, Elon and Supreme Court Chief Justice Roberts, racism is over.
Racism's over.
It's all done.
Well, the justice says it.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, God.
There's no racism in America.
Okay, 10-minute rambling preamble of podcast completed.
I'm up.
You're moving on.
Clocked.
Clocked.
Yes!
L is the quality control on this show, and he's not here today, so I have a problem.
And you're so smooth about it, where you're like, okay, time!
No, no, that's what I'm saying!
That's what I'm saying!
There's no smoothness here!
The sideways are going to be abrupt and swift!
This is going to be a train wreck!
I'm not good at my job!
It is, um, this is, um, So, the movie Rounders, you're muted by the way, Haley, as you're chuckling.
I was laughing too hard.
I know, but you said something while you were muted.
I just said sorry, it wasn't important.
No problem.
So, they get John Malkovich to be the villain in Rounders, and he's a big name and Rounders is on this shoestring budget.
They're like, oh shit, we got Malkovich!
So he shows up for his first scene, and if you've never seen Rounders, like, he talks in this ridiculously bad Russian accent.
It is, like, so cartoonish and over-the-top and terrible.
And so they do the first take of the scene, and Malkovich is just doing this really bad Russian accent and just, like, flailing around and being a nut.
And Matt Damon is just sitting there watching everybody else.
Everyone else is just like, oh god, he's killing it.
This is so good.
And Matt Damon is like, what the fuck is this guy doing?
And then finally they're like, cut, and then Malkovich gives Damon the lean-in, come-close-to-me look.
And Matt Damon leans over to him and John Malkovich says, I'm a terrible actor.
And then they just go with it.
So that's basically me as a podcast host.
I'm a terrible podcast host.
I have no idea what I'm doing.
We love you for it.
It's great.
And with all that said, it's time to go to the boosh.
It's time for a light sampling of insanity.
Get ready for the amuse-boosh.
So we begin with Boebert Juice, Boebert Juice, Boebert Juice!
Lauren Boebert, everyone's favorite Congresswoman, apparently got thrown out of a theater because she's a huge dum-dum and can't abide by the rules.
So, Amanda, you saw the headline and all the other fun and frivolity going on here, so lead us off on this nonsense.
Yeah, so I guess Politico wrote about Boebert after this happened.
I don't know.
I don't know if the article was about this or not.
But the headline they had, they went with it, they were shamed out of was Lauren Boebert, rabble rouser in DC, public servant back home.
So somebody I follow, Joan Covello, who works for Federman, was like, that feeling when you're a rabble-rouser in DC saying dumb shit, but a public servant back home getting kicked out of the Beetlejuice musical.
Most relatable thing she's ever done.
She was enjoying it too much.
She was vaping, singing along, and dancing, which I'm like, same girl.
The most relatable she's ever been.
And I love this song!
She's just like me, for real, for real.
Yeah, in this one instance.
Don't clip that.
That's my bad thing of the week.
Goddammit!
Yeah, so Lauren Boebert was apparently way too into Beetlejuice and vaping, and the staff asked her to leave.
And as she was leaving, she hit them with the, do you know who I am?
She went the whole nine yards of like, I'm big time!
You can't do this to me!
And she flipped off the staff as she was leaving.
She did the whole thing.
It was magical.
Enchanting, even.
And I saw something that was like, she was also recording and that's a big no-no.
And it's like, I actually think when you're vaping, that's like way bigger of a no-no.
Getting a selfie?
Getting a selfie at the Beetlejuice musical.
If I was her, I would say, do you know who I am?
I mean, 100%.
I've already committed to the vid at that point.
Dude, that's so funny she did that.
What really blows my mind about all of this is that the Democrats are rerunning the guy who, like, lost to her by, like, 200 votes in that district in what was an absolutely shocking turn of events because everyone thought that Boebert's district was super safe and they weren't going to have to risk anything.
So that guy is literally, like, the only good Twitter ads I get are that guy and, like, Sportsbook betting things.
Everything else is white nationalism and dogecoin.
But, like, I just see ads for that guy going, like, I'm leading Boebert in the polls!
This time I can do it!
And I'm just thinking to myself, if you're the Republicans, Can't you just find an empty suit to primary Boebert and get rid of her the way you did Madison Cawthorn?
I mean, is she really such an awesome candidate that you're just like, eh, let's just run Boebert again?
She won last time by, like, 200 votes.
This time it'll be an election year, so Biden's definitely gonna have, like, coattails.
Because this is Colorado.
It's not like Boebert's running in some red state.
Colorado's a blue state, so it's like...
Biden's going to have coattails.
Trump's going to be dragging her down.
This is a very winnable seat for the Democrats if Boebert is the nominee.
Why is she not being primaried?
I just truly don't understand it.
I would be fascinated to learn a demographic that likes Boebert and doesn't like Trump.
I mean, like, I don't know that it exists, but if it does, I want to know a lot about it.
Her district is like Pueblo.
I mean, like Pueblo, and you've got, like, You know, all of these like, like Aspen and stuff like that, like Colorado's districting is super weird.
Like when I went to that Lincoln Day dinner in Pueblo for her.
I mean, it's just not like the rest of the rest of Colorado.
Yeah, but that's the thing.
It was it was supposed to be a safe gerrymandered district and then she almost fucked it, which really blows my mind.
I truly don't understand how You have a person who like because she's like the kind of candidate that you have in a district that's like plus 30 one side or the other like like how Marjorie Taylor Greene is insulated by her district and you like so I just don't understand how
You as, like, Republican strategist could look at Boebert's massive underperformance, like, last election cycle and be like, eh, we should run her again.
This, this is going to work out great.
There's, there's nothing but upside for Lauren Boebert being our representative, our nominee.
I mean, there literally has to be some Republican empty suit getting ready to primary Santos.
I mean, my God, I mean, someone in New York has to be like, Hey, I'm not a criminal that's lied about literally my entire life.
Please vote for me for the Republican nomination.
I mean, I have to imagine that's coming.
I mean, because, uh, our boy George.
Probably not in good shape for that.
There's a lot going on in the Manhattan and New York City GOP.
It's a very complicated, messy situation and I think it's a lot.
Oh, we can just do that.
We can just pivot the podcast into In the Weeds Baseball about Manhattan Republicanism.
There's not much I can say unless you're going to pay me a lot of money because I'm selling that story elsewhere, but I can tell you it's not easy right now to become an up-and-coming pollster.
She's too good for us, Mike.
I told you.
Have you met my friend Andrew Jackson, who waves a $20 bill at the camera?
Yeah, I got a few bucks.
I got a few bucks.
I got a case of liquid death.
Wait, is there caffeine in liquid death?
Or is it just- No, it's water.
It's just actual water.
I have caffeinated water.
I don't know.
It's just canned water.
It's just plain canned water.
I almost bought it.
I think there is one that's flavored.
I thought it was caffeinated water, so I almost bought it, so I'm really glad I didn't.
No, Liquid Death is literally just water, and they also have sparkling water.
Okay, listen, Liquid Death, I swam in the Nile once and almost died afterwards, so that's like what Liquid Death makes me think of, is like the water that was in the Nile, that made me extremely sick.
I also got this at the Nile, but it's the Nile as in the punk theater, and that's where we had our show.
It's really called the Nile?
Wow.
Yeah, that's another funny coincidence.
Look at that, full circle.
I hope that you don't almost die on a boat.
No, I might die at the Nile though.
Be very careful.
Shout out the Nile.
Shout out to dysentery.
Which, if you've played Oregon Trail, you have died of.
You might get dysentery at Arnile also. It's disgusting.
So I think we've batted around Lauren Boebert enough for this week.
I'm sure she'll find her way into the news more often as time goes along.
Oh yeah, it's dysentery.
I mean, I would actually, what would actually be really awesome is if she became just like incredibly disheveled and just weird looking because she was never sleeping now because she was actually being haunted by Beetlejuice.
That'd be great.
If she actually did have poltergeists harassing her from now on, that would be what I would be hugely a fan of.
She's going to be on Dancing with the Stars in a few years.
Do you think she's going to be partying a lot now that she's getting a divorce?
Yes.
Like my age, right?
She's like 35, 36?
She's going to be going out, making up for all that lost time after her pedophile, or not pedophile, what's the one with teenagers?
That one husband?
I bet this is just the beginning.
I bet this is just the beginning.
I think we'll see way more, way more of this behavior and it's going to, she's going to
be president.
I, I, I actually think her political future is pretty capped where it is right now.
It's the Sarah Palin trajectory.
She'll have some spots on Fox News where she says some wild shit and then she goes on Dancing with the Stars or whatever that one that Palin was on, which was awesome.
I mean, we had that revenge porn thing that that Democrat lady's been suffering from in the past few days.
I can see a Bobert sex tape in the near future.
I can totally see her just deciding to be like, hey, you know what?
If her husband likes some shit.
Oh yeah!
That would be not cool.
Her husband is incredibly bad news, and the fact that she's divorcing him is probably one of the best decisions she's ever made.
When your husband pulls his dick out at a bowling alley for 17-year-olds and you're like, that's fine, what does it take for you to get divorced?
Like, what happened?
Becoming an adult and realizing, like, shit, I think I was groomed.
I don't know that she, do you think she's really aware?
I don't know.
No, but that's what happened.
So hopefully... I love that Hayley is just so definitive about this.
She's just like, boom, Lauren Bovert was involved in a grooming situation.
I mean, you know, he was an adult when she was, he was showing penis to her when she was underage.
I'm going to go ahead and say this was not an appropriate start of a relationship.
How much older was her husband?
Wasn't he in his 20s?
Yeah, I think he was like old enough to get a real car.
I thought he was like 25.
I am very, this is, this is mind-blowing to me.
We're now going to have scintillating podcasts where, like, I'm literally head down on Wikipedia trying to find out information about how old... Oh, I was just going to say, we're going to have a... Wasn't he, like, showing off a tattoo?
Wasn't that the story at the bowling alley?
Oh yeah, that's right, that's right.
But you know what?
I knew a guy, when I was in high school, I knew a guy in his 20s who got his dick pierced and he really just did it so he could pull it out and show high school girls.
Two sides of the same coin.
There was a guy in my high school that used to just show his balls to everybody.
I don't know why.
It's like he just had to pull them out.
My friend was dating a guy who was like eight years older than us when we were in high school again.
And he would always show his balls.
And then he took a photo on a digital camera of mine.
And of course, I was a minor child.
So my mother saw his balls on the digital camera.
Yeah, there's a lot of that.
Men are bad.
If you are an adult man, don't hang out with high schoolers.
Just don't do that.
Jesus.
Yeah, I recommend not doing any of these things.
Yeah, he was 22 years old and she was 16.
Oh, great.
Great.
Oh, wow.
That is rough.
Great.
Wonder Bar.
Okay.
So, man, I'm so glad we dug into the mind, the delicious story content of Lauren Boebert's hideous personal life.
Yeah, Lauren, if you're listening, if you keep doing weird stuff, we can do a side podcast just about you like once a month or something.
Bobert's crazy adventures.
Be cooler.
Oh, yeah, we'll get in Congress.
Yes, leave Congress.
Stop hurting America.
Just live your best life elsewhere.
Party.
Party.
So anyhow, now that I think we've actually concluded the Lauren Boebert segment, smash cut to ten more minutes of Lauren Boebert.
It's really weird.
But this was our first 9-11 anniversary where Twitter was under the steady hand, the guiding vision of our beloved Elon Musk.
Boy Howdy was Twitter.
Wasn't trending.
Oh, yeah.
What wasn't trending?
Dancing Jews.
Dancing Israelis.
Nick Fuentes helped to boost that one, which is like cool platform Elon.
Yes.
Cool platform.
But here at X, we will never go DEF CON.
There's no anti-Semite.
Hive on the Jewish people.
And we love the Jews.
Should edit that a few times.
Maybe 10 more times.
I would hit delete and start over, but I don't have enough followers.
This one's really getting traction.
I know, literally.
I just love the idea of the CEO of Twitter being like, oh man, I'm getting engagement!
This is great!
I love the idea of her being like, and what are Dancing Israelis?
Oh, it's...
It's really funny because she's the normie and Elon's the pilled lunatic.
So she's just being dragged into this hell and has no idea, none.
She's literally just checking to make sure that her check clears every two weeks.
And she's like, okay, Elon's still giving me my gobs of money.
So this is okay, I guess.
Dancing is really, I mean, I don't think, I mean, it's, it's fairly obscure.
I don't think most people, like, I don't think most people knew about it.
I mean, it's like, Here we go!
Cool!
Yeah, I just saw straight up Nazis pushing that one.
Yep.
And it was on my For You, like, I was getting that on my For You page.
I was also getting Nick Fuentes on my For You page for a straight two days after he was actually banned, and it still was recommending me all his tweets that he made under his, you know, like, hundreds.
Grimace, yeah.
Yeah, banned account.
But when you clicked on it, then it was like, oh, account banned.
And it's like, wow, great platform, right?
What a great platform we have going on.
Also, I just have to say one more thing real quick, just because we're talking about Twitter.
I got recommended an ad that was literally a video.
It was like a YouTube video about how Andrew Tate and Tristan Tate are being wrongly accused of trafficking.
That was my recommended ad.
That is just absolutely wonderful.
I just love that I actually have two co-hosts on the show who are deeper into the weeds on certain things than me.
The two of you are just going back and forth about Nick Fuentes and all of his horrors, and I'm just like, what?
Fuck!
I am not a licensed nicologist.
I don't have my certification in Fuentesology, so I'm just going to let the experts talk about this.
I just hope that maybe we somehow veer into the Kennedy assassination, and then I can just grab the wheel back and be like, oh boy, let me spin a yarn for you about our boy Jack in Dallas, Texas.
Yeah, there's a lot of anti-Semitism going on.
It's really bad.
I mean, it's hard for me because I'm mutual to a lot of Nazis.
So mine for you is already totally off the chain.
We did it.
We got our first bit of Amanda's super clip.
I'm mutual for a lot of Nazis.
Clip it, save it.
I've got a key page and I have a, you know, alt.
And like, I'm getting the same shit on both.
Like they're just pushing far right content on everything.
It's really... Did either one of you get the 14 words ad?
Oh my God, no.
No, but I saw...
Yeah, I saw it.
Alex did it to me.
Yeah, I saw people screenshotting it, but I did not get it directly in my feed.
Is it actually the 14 words?
Yeah, it really is.
Yes, yes.
It's an image.
It's an image with the 14 words as the caption, just straight, just boom.
Just Nazi group paid for ad and Twitter just ran it.
So anyway, journalists, again, I have to ask if you're listening this week, if you're paying for gold on this platform, you shouldn't be doing that.
If your outlet is doing that, I'm judging you.
Anyways, back to Are outlets even paying for it?
Because I know some of them got it for free.
Others didn't?
There's some local outlets here that are paying for it.
I know for a fact they're paying for it.
And it's like, what are you doing?
What are you doing here?
And they're like doing mass layoffs.
It's like, oh, so you got the money for the gold?
You got the money for the gold check?
But you can't pay your writers and you're doing AI?
Writing articles now?
That's really cool.
Anyways... I have the weirdest bot following my account.
It's called Whichever's Poker Club and it's got a gold check and literally everything I tweet it likes within like one minute of me posting the tweet.
It is... That's me.
I'm your biggest fan.
You're my biggest fan.
You paid $1,000 for a gold check just so you could blot this shit out of me.
I appreciate you.
You could just directly send me that $1,000 instead of sending it to me.
You know what?
I'm going to pay for you to have Twitter blue.
I could just send you $11 a month.
God, I would so much rather have the $11.
You'll have all the good features of Twitter blue.
I've really been enjoying them myself.
Uh, you guys were talking about weird stuff Twitter sent you.
Oh yeah, 9-11 was fun.
Wow.
Okay.
Wow.
I'll just save that one for the super clip.
Paris moment.
I didn't mean it like that.
I meant this 9-11, which is acceptable to say 22 years later.
You're allowed to have fun on any random 9-11.
Oh my god, on the Washington DC soap reddit, somebody was complaining because their neighbors threw a party and they reenacted the crash!
Out of the Pentagon, because that would be tacky, because that's here.
So they just went to Towers and they had music and drinks and the neighbor was like, many of our fellow Washingtonians died that day.
This is not okay.
I just... Literally, literally the Halloween after 9-11 in Salem.
There were two guys that were at the World Trade Center running away from a third guy that was a plane that was chasing them.
Oh my god.
Yes.
Elle tells that story a lot.
Did you see it in person?
I did not.
Elle saw it, and he had other witnesses.
This was an actual way-too-soon thing that people did.
Are you a truther?
Are you a truther, really?
Yeah, did you actually see it?
What's really funny, no, what makes me laugh about Haley saying that was because that was literally in my feed where someone was talking about no plane 9-11 and then somebody else was just like, I saw a plane and somebody else was like, did you really see a plane?
Yeah, this is actually relevant to Arizona politics right now because a sitting state senator named Justine Wadsack.
I thought it was a joke when I saw Jared tweeting me.
Um, she, uh, liked a bunch of tweets that were, she was actually in a greater conversation because she posted a fake transcript from 9-11 and she's like, I post this every year to remind myself.
Um, and then there was people in her comments that are like, this is fake.
This is, 9-11 was fake.
The planes are fake.
Everything's fake.
And she's definitely a 9-11 conspiracy theorist, but she doesn't believe everything was fake.
So she was in the conversation, liking comments that were like, no, it wasn't fake.
It was just, you know, not done by Mossad.
Yeah, it was just not what it was, just not what we were told.
And like, you know, she had other conspiracies in there, like that it was an inside job and, you know, just all the typical stuff.
So it was like she's delving in to she she has 9-11 conspiracies, but she's not a full no plainer, you know?
For those of you who want to use the theater of the mind, at some point during Hayley's riff there, Amanda was ugly laughing.
It was like the opposite of ugly crying, but she was just absolutely... Oh, I'm crying a little bit, too.
When I saw her name first, I didn't know how to pronounce it, so I said in my head, it's Wadsack.
No, it's Wadsack.
She also gets defensive when you call out the name, so Wadsack.
I thought it was a joke name, and so when I saw this journalist had tweeted about her, I was like, oh, is he not on his alt?
That's obviously, because I only get used to her first name and you're just like, Wadsack.
And I'm like, oh, that's mean, but kind of funny.
There was a recall campaign against her and it was, it was Sack Wadsack.
And I thought that was funny.
Yes.
It was not successful because it's a hard thing to do, but we support you, Recallers, because she harassed the shit out of them.
She was sending goons down to harass the people collecting signatures with trucks with their face on it.
It says WADSAC on it.
Why would you put WADSAC on your truck?
Literally, I'm committing a crime.
I'm intimidating and attacking people for being engaged in the political process.
She's so funny.
She's got a healthy democracy.
Absolutely the healthiest.
Is she married?
Yeah, she's married to Mr. Wodzak.
That's why she gets defensive about the name.
That's why she gets defensive about it.
She's like, it's my husband's name.
I wonder what her name is.
I would be like, bro, you're taking my name.
It was a normal name.
I looked it up once and it was just like, I just love the idea that you are going to be a public person and you go from your generic normal name to Wadsack as your now name you're going to be known about known as in public because you're like I'm taking my husband's name which is going to hurt me like politically because
My name is now goofy and weird and people get to riff on it by saying Sack Wadsack and shit.
Yeah, I mean I'm looking for a husband so that I can have a better name than more, but I guess I should be very like, you know, careful what you wish for.
Amanda Wadsack.
I'm gonna take Justine's hand.
Oh man, I could marry Amanda and then I could become Michael Moore and I would just be another fat leftist documentarian who loses his way at some point.
But yes.
I'm just a singer.
Yeah, and actress.
And political commentator.
She's been on Love It or Leave It.
Got it saved.
I saw a bunch of people, a bunch of QAnon promoters, that were so happy about the fact that Twitter just became this cesspool of 9-11 conspiracy bullshit on 9-11, where they were just like, yeah, we're red-pilling the shit out of everybody!
And it's like, congratulations, you've turned Twitter into GAP.
What a win.
What a huge win.
This is so great.
Actually, as an active user on Gab, it's a more functional website.
I didn't have to pay them $8 to DM people.
So, I made it worse in some ways.
It is weird to see Gab becoming a bit more, less laggy than Twitter.
I guess it's less users on Gab.
It's just like Gab was always my top tier, this website is fucking dog shit website.
And now it's like, at least it scrolls.
Yeah.
I can't scroll on Twitter anymore.
I haven't been able to scroll on Twitter in like a week.
And the DM box at the bottom right corner has been messed up forever.
It's awful.
I don't have notifications on on my phone and so I never see DMs because I don't see... like the box is gone.
And I started giving them $8 August 19th because I ran into DMs messaging a source When I'd flown across the country to go see this source, and I'm like, maybe the, maybe, maybe it will be a better website.
Maybe it'll be less buggy.
It'll load faster.
It's just as bad.
It's literally no difference.
It's like, there's no, the user experience, they sent me $21, $24.
That was the user experience that I got.
And I got to DM people.
Uncapping your, you had to pay money to uncap your DMs.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh man, what an absolute banger of a website Elon's created, which he is now claiming, I don't know, has been devalued either half or 90% by the ADL and its cruel assault upon him and all of his freeze peach and all that good stuff.
Oh my god.
The Jews made me tweet out Pepe over and over.
I don't want to.
Yeah, the Jews made me tweet a bunch of weird esoteric Nazi shit on the timeline and racist shit.
The Jews tricked me into believing that Nancy Pelosi's husband was really fighting his gay lover.
It's not my fault.
The Jews did it.
Yeah, poor Elon.
Poor Elon.
So easily tricked by the globalists, as Alex Jones would say, because that's how you try to cover for this stuff.
Anyhow, moving along to the wheelhouse of our correspondent in Arizona, Haley.
What's the latest bullshit going on in Arizona?
What fun and frivolity are we dealing with there this week?
Okay, so like, I guess we'll talk about the lake thing real quick because you want to.
Mike's making me talk about Carrie Lake again.
A little bit.
Most of it is like, sources say this.
Sources say this in response to sources saying that.
Now sources are saying this in response to the sources that said that.
So a lot of it's just like, okay, what are we doing?
Celebrity gossip here?
But the main kind of gist of the story is that Blake Masters allegedly Wanted to enter the Senate race against Ruben Gallego and Kristen Sinema actually hasn't jumped in yet, but it's assuming that she'll run as an independent.
Please get her out of here.
So Sheriff Mark Lamb is in the race.
We talked about last week.
Nobody cares about him.
So everybody's just speculating.
He's actually in the race.
He's the one that's actually in the race.
Nobody gives a shit.
But everybody's speculating, like, okay, we'll carry Lake into that race and take the Republican spot, or will it be Blake Masters?
Because Blake Masters was apparently hinting at it.
There was no direct quote.
But then as soon as there was, like, even a rumor that Blake was going to enter the race, Trump was like, you kind of suck, don't you?
Didn't you, like, lose by, like, after spending, like, 70 million dollars of Peter Thiel's money?
And then we had a really cool gun that was made in Germany.
It was a really cool gun.
And it was like silent when he shot it.
He had the creepiest ads.
I don't know where all that money go.
It's just like.
Your bad ad?
I actually forgot to mention this last week because I was at the quote-unquote victory party where Carrie and Blake and Abe Hamaday and Mark Fincham and everybody was supposed to come out as the big winners.
That didn't happen.
They all still gave speeches, most of them.
Carrie came out and gave a speech like, we still got this.
We still got this.
Well, she won.
She won.
But Blake did not bother.
He actually stormed out with his entire family and left hours early.
And I was out catching a smoke when I saw this happen.
And his little aides were like, did he just fucking leave?
What are we going to do?
Dude, I want another shrimp plate.
What the fuck?
Yeah.
Bullshit.
Very relatable, actually.
I would also leave.
Yeah, if you're losing that bad, just leave.
I'm going to lose it a little bit.
If I'm definitely not winning, that's fine.
Because I'm never running for office, you know?
I'm just imagining a staffer being like, there's an open bar!
What the shit?
I was gonna get loaded!
Crap!
Dammit!
There was an open bar.
There was just an open cardboard pizza bar.
Some call that a buffet.
Yeah, I guess you could call it that.
Would you like to come to the Pizza Hut bar with me?
If you know what I mean?
Anyway, so yeah, Trump was like, you suck, bro.
Are you really going to enter this race?
If Kerry does it, she's going to stomp your ass.
This is paraphrasing.
Trump didn't say his exact words.
Well, it's way too Korean for him.
We've been talking about mosquitoes and how we gave away the Panama Canal for a dollar and it was really stupid, and then segue back to Blake Masur's being shit.
So now, allegedly, again, these are all like sources and like political operatives here who are like, I don't think he'll enter the race.
So yeah, now there's like speculation that Masters won't even bother because Lake and Trump were kind of just immediately like, yeah, you want to enter the race, bud?
You want to enter the race?
Come at me.
Come at me.
And none of the people have even announced.
Carrie, I don't know what she's doing.
She's just waiting.
She's on her victory tour.
I mean, why are you saying this?
You know what she's doing.
She was like at the Ohio time loop running.
You said that she lost.
First of all, she won.
I just saw her speak in Texas a couple weeks ago.
She won!
She was telling everybody she won!
Trump won!
You know?
She wears this like governor jacket.
It's like a jacket that reads governor on it with her name.
And it's like, she's so lady.
She's so cool.
She's super cool.
She's super cool.
She was the keynote speaker at the Young Republican Dinner and like people were walking out and she's just like, and another thing about JFK is... Oh, yeah, I saw those videos.
What was she saying exactly about JFK?
Get Mike into this.
Oh, God, I don't even remember because I was there to eavesdrop on Young Republicans.
Yes, yes.
So once they started talking about how she was a lunatic, I was like, oh, tell me more.
Well, I heard JFK I heard like, I forget that was, you know, I think maybe the CIA killed him or something might have been what she said.
And then I got distracted because people were complaining about her talking about Ukraine.
Oh, yeah, that'll happen.
Oh, man.
That's the Kerry.
Yep.
Blake.
Blake.
Now on to the important Arizona news.
Okay, this is my favorite story of the week so far.
This is so in the weeds.
We're talking a little bit in the weeds here.
But you guys remember the Cyber Ninjas audit?
You remember when the Cyber Ninjas came to town for seven months and disrupted- Who could forget?
Yeah.
This is a really Arizona thing, but you know.
Um, so there was a woman who kind of organized, she lives here.
She's actually, she's not a cyber ninja.
She used to like roll with the Oath Keepers, kind of, you know, uh, like she's got, there's this photo I have of her with like Stuart Rhodes and like Richard Mack from the Constitutional Sheriffs.
Um, but so she was just kind of like a, you know, like a, you know, just a hanger on.
local in the far right scene. And her name's Shelby Bush.
And when the audit, well not really when the audit was happening, when Patrick Byrne and
Michael Flynn and Sidney Powell all went to DC to be like, hey Trump, how about you
hand us the voting machines and we're just going to kind of like hold off on the
election a little bit and do a little audit of these machines.
And that didn't happen, but Shelby Bush and her partner were in D.C.
at the time, flown out by Patrick Byrne to just kind of like hang out and also get info from Byrne to then come here and do the Audit.
They were trying to do audits all over.
Michigan kind of got an attempt at an audit and a few other states.
Anyways, we're the only state that was actually ridiculous enough to go through with the full plan.
It was literally Shelby Bush that was communicating with our Senate President to be like, here's who we're going to use for the audit.
Here's what we're doing.
We're organizing it.
and then Patrick Byrne's like, hey, I got you guys. I'm going to fund this thing and I'm also
going to get the organizers for this thing. And it's a bunch of people who are part of her
organization called We The People Arizona Alliance, which is like a non-profit slash pack here,
which she just made, kind of to take the money of Mike Lindell and Patrick Byrne and Michael Flynn
during the audit times to just kind of like funnel money into themselves.
And then some of that money went back into her partner because her partner ran for like State Senate and it was just like $40,000 went directly into his campaign and then like another $40,000 went just directly to him.
So there was like a lot of clearly, there's some money stuff going on that I'm not smart enough to, you know, be privy to, but...
It is a fact that Mike Lindell organized the first Cyber Ninjas event with Shelby Bush and gave her 50 grand after that event because they wanted to do the audit.
And then they were kind of like organizing with that Joven Pulitzer guy, the bamboo ballot.
I'm gonna scan it with my fake technology.
He's like a fake treasure hunter.
He's a character.
But yeah, they were holding rallies with him and Patrick Byrne and all the people that would eventually lead into the audit.
Okay, so audit background basically done with her.
After the audit was over, she was still obviously very involved with Arizona politics.
She got involved with the Carrie Lake campaign because during the audit they subpoenaed To have all the ballot, the mail-in ballot signatures, like, so they could review them, but they obviously have to follow the fucking law when you get those.
You can't just be like, hey, everybody, here's everybody's signatures, which is what they did.
They started posting people's signatures onto the Twitter timeline.
Carrie Lake has been illegally posting people's signatures, being like, these are fake signatures.
These are fake signatures.
So kind of doxing voters a little bit.
And they got it through Shelby Bush and the We The People Alliance crew because they were part of the audit.
And so this has been kind of like part of Carrie's court cases and just her whole ongoing like, I actually won!
It's like, look at these signatures!
And she like at the event sometimes like, look at these signatures!
Like she has like a PowerPoint.
Thanks for supporting me.
I'm telling everybody.
Yeah, I know.
So yeah, so they've been like doing a bunch of crimes, doing a bunch of disruptions to our elections.
And then Shelby Bush got a seat with the Maricopa County Republican Committee, which is just the Maricopa GOP, like how every county has their own She's now the first vice chair on the Maricopa GOP.
Yeah, so kind of like a pretty good leadership seat within the Maricopa, which is the biggest county.
It's kind of one that is important.
She just allocated herself $250,000 from the Maricopa GOP's funding to her own organization, We the People Arizona Alliance.
They don't even have that much money.
They have about $30,000.
She took like 10 times the amount of money she already had and gave it to herself.
Wow.
I need to have a job like that where I just access the piles of money and can just be like, I now give this money to me!
The most deserving charity in all the world.
Thank you.
Yeah.
And like, uh...
It went kind of like unnoticed, but the president of the Arizona Tea Party is now kind of like, hey, what the fuck?
Where's where all the money go?
And he's like, am I the only one who sees a conflict of interest here?
He was literally tweeting about it.
He's like, mark my words as the months progress.
I predict it will becoming increasingly obvious that the Maricopa County Republican Committee is run by unethical amateurs.
Candidates and donors BYs align with the state party, the Arizona GOP, which doesn't have the issues of the Maricopa GOP.
Which is so funny because the actual state party's also broke because they've been helping to fund Carrie Lake's bullshit.
So, like, everybody's broke.
Like, they're just...
Yeah, I've been reading all these articles about how all these different Republican state parties in very important swing states are absolutely without money because they've just been funding so many dumb lawsuits that Trump and Lake and others have been required.
Like Michigan's Republican Party is flat broke.
Arizona's Republican Party is flat broke.
It's just- You know who's not broke?
Shelby Bush.
No, oh my god.
That is- holy shit.
If you put Michigan's Republican Party into a coliseum, they would probably fight each other to the death.
There's also that.
And we didn't even get into Mike Lindell's depositions where he was very angry about people saying his pillows were lumpy.
Oh my god.
He's a scumbag.
I have my pillows.
Put that down.
Yes!
He's a scumbag with a Q. He's totally pill.
That's what we're calling our followers now, scumbags with a Q. Yes, yes.
They're no longer beautiful babies.
They are now scumbags with a Q. Thanks to Mike Lindell, the weirdest nut in the universe.
Please sue us, Mike Lindell.
We need the publicity.
Just saw him here as part of the bot and troll army.
Bots and trolls?
Yes.
Or maybe we were the ones who debunked the P-caps and got the five million dollars from him.
That giant moron.
Sorry for getting too in the weeds with Arizona as usual.
I just thought that was funny.
That's what we're here for.
I think I'm the only person that still talks about the Cyber Ninjas.
I'm just like, hey, you guys remember the Cyber Ninjas?
I want to get a Cyber Ninjas tattoo just to remember the times, you know?
I want to get bamboo paper.
Oh, that's a good one.
Not as a tattoo, I just want reams of it.
Or the Q-cat, that old invention that the Joven Pulitzer guy invented that was also a grift.
Yeah.
I want Hayley on one arm to have Cyber Ninjas tattooed, and then the other arm she has Birds Are Not Real on the other arm.
So you just have those beautiful memories merged together for forever.
And when people look at her, she's like, yeah, it was a wild time.
You don't understand.
I'm not even kidding.
I'm not even kidding.
A friend of mine, our mutual buddy, Amanda of Arizona Journalism, He sent me a hilarious video that somebody sent him.
It was like, you gotta look into this.
And it was like, you know Mud Fossil?
You know Mud Fossil stuff?
Mike, do you know what a mud fossil university is?
Nope.
No earthly idea.
It's basically just old guys with too much time on their hands that are like, look at these shapes I found on Google Maps.
You know what this is?
Dinosaurs.
This is ancient dinosaurs and giants and dragons.
This is proof.
You see this rock I found on the floor?
It's in the shape of a duck.
This is actually a crystallized duck.
It's just like guys doing fake science by looking at rocks and looking at shapes.
But my friend sent me one that he got in his inbox that was like, look at this one you got to check out near the Giza Pyramids.
And it was apparently an alien but the guy drew an alien to like show what he saw and it was the it was the sickest alien drawing I've ever seen.
It was so punk.
I kind of want it as a tattoo, but then I'm worried I might find him in the wild and he'll be like, there's the thing I've been seeing.
You know?
I thought you meant you might find the alien in the wild.
And I was going to say, that guy's really far away.
I think you see.
Yeah.
So that's my tassel.
I wish Elon was here for that one.
Cause he loves weird stuff.
Well, the boosh has run way too long.
Time to get into the news.
No problem.
From the digital headlines to the digital front lines, it's Q's in the News.
So we talked a little bit about Elon earlier, but now we have to get into the actual shit he's done recently, which is the fact that Elon is a fucking traitor!
No, you don't get your own little bump this week, Elon, because screw you.
Being a traitor is fucking bad.
No music for you, you son of a bitch.
Um, so it came out in Elon's biography that he, that the Ukrainian Navy was, or their military forces were getting ready to attack Russia's Navy in the Black Sea.
And they were like, well, we're getting close to the Navy and we're getting ready to blow all these ships up.
Time to fire up the Starlink to see what's going on.
And suddenly the Starlink didn't work and they were not able to get the information they needed to conduct the attack.
And therefore they did not do it.
And.
This was in the biography that Elon literally just denied them access to Starlink for this attack.
And now Elon has been just spinning like a top coming up with reasons and justifications as to why this happened, where he's just like, Oh, the US was sanctioning Russia and it was so unfair.
So blah, blah, blah.
Or I didn't want this attack to lead to World War III.
And therefore I did a thing.
And it's like, uh, and he also made a comment about how this would have been like Pearl Harbor, which no, Pearl Harbor was a sneak attack by a nation leading to a war.
Ukraine was already being invaded by Russia at this point.
This was a counterattack by Ukraine against Russia that had already attacked them with an unprovoked attack on Ukraine.
So all of this shit that Elon is currently trying to justify why Starlink didn't work is horseshit.
Because he's just literally on Team Russia's side.
That's just it.
That's just all there is to this.
And Elon has posted a bunch of stuff about how we need to sue for peace, Ukraine needs to cut a deal, give Russia some land, you know, all that good stuff.
So that's our boy Elon.
Just another magical day of Pro-Putin propaganda from the guy who owns this giant social media platform and apparently wants to be like the modern day Lex Luthor.
Like everyone's like, Oh, he wants to be Tony Stark.
It's like, Tony Stark was the good guy.
He is actually the bad guy now.
He's bad.
He's just objectively bad.
So yeah, that was super magical and fun to read all about.
Powerful silence.
Sorry, I was taking a sip of water.
You ever hear of water?
It's good stuff.
Oh yeah, it's the greatest stuff.
I really got nothing else to say about Elon.
He sucks.
He sucks.
Every day we go on the timeline and just learn how much he sucks more.
And everyone posts about, look at this thing he liked, look at this thing he said, look at how much he sucks.
And I'm like, I've been new.
Look at the new name of his new baby that we found out about and how ridiculous it is.
That's cool.
It's like a Borderlands gun name.
Chakrasaurus?
Yeah, Chakrasaurus Rex or something.
It's like... Yeah.
Maybe Claptrap will be the next baby.
That would be too hip and happening.
All of the names are just grandiose bullshit.
Yeah, he's not a Borderlands guy.
He's a Warhammer guy.
Oh, God!
God Emperor Khorne Musk is coming down the pipeline any day now.
Shout out Borderlands.
I actually do like Borderlands.
But yeah, so thank God.
I have to get my PS5 so I can get in on that boulders gate and fucking live the life that all my friends are living.
Not having sex with bears, because apparently the bear guy is really not that cool.
Having sex with him isn't nearly as fun as everyone made it out to be.
Yeah.
But anyhow, thank God there was not much meat on the Elon bone this week, so fuck you, buddy.
Moving on to the last bit of actual quote-unquote real news that we have around us is the Republicans are totally going to impeach Biden now, for really reals, for Honestly, you have to tell this one, because I saw it yesterday, but I was a bit busy, and by the time I got into it, it was already over with, so I felt like I didn't need to look at it.
I figured you would tell me.
Not enough Nazis posted about it on Telegram, so I don't know much about it.
My mutuals, aka my homies, weren't talking enough about this on Telegram.
Yeah.
So Kevin McCarthy, because as people have been posting on the internet, like Marjorie Taylor Greene has one of his balls and Matt Gaetz has his other ball, they have basically given him the edict that he has to impeach Joe Biden for his non-crimes.
And so McCarthy came out and stated that they are going to begin an impeachment inquiry into Biden.
And that hopefully this inquiry will lead to the discovery of the crimes that they are sure that Biden has committed.
Today, a reporter said to McCarthy, yo, McCarthy, like two weeks ago, you said you had enough votes to impeach Biden, yet you're not impeaching him.
Do you still have the votes?
If not, what's changed?
And McCarthy was like, You no good so-and-so.
Always bringing up votes and things I said previously and like public statements that I as the Speaker of the House have made.
How dare you?
How dare you, good sir?
And then he was like, I've answered your question.
Next question!
He just moved right along.
And the reporter's like, you haven't answered my question.
Do you have the votes, motherfucker?
Do you have the votes to impeach?
Y slash N. What is your answer?
And McCarthy did not say Y or N. He did not answer the question.
He said a secret third thing.
Yes.
Yes.
Because, by the way, for those of you who do not know the current landscape of the American House of Representatives, the Republicans only have a four-seat majority.
So McCarthy can only suffer, like, four defections before a move to impeach would fail.
Actually, maybe, like, two defections, because then that tips it.
So, literally, the entire Republican House has to vote as a bloc to impeach Biden for this to work.
If any Republican is like, bro, I'm in a Biden plus five district.
I'm not impeaching him for your bullshit just so that you can make Marjorie Taylor Greene and Matt Gaetz happy.
I ain't doing it.
Like if that happens then this whole thing just crashes and burns.
So McCarthy has put himself in this like dogshit situation where Either they do vote to impeach and the Republicans who are in bad districts support this absolute bullshit nonsense.
And then it goes to the Senate where Republicans have to vote to convict Biden of crimes, question mark, which will make their reelections harder.
Or, Republicans in the House vote no, and then they get primaried by a QAnon megachud.
So, like, nobody actually wants this to happen except for the nutballs who, again, have- Who want it to happen.
Right!
Yes!
Us!
Us bomb throwers on the sidelines want this shit to happen.
Me as a supporter of Democrats and liberalism want this to happen.
I want dumb Republican infighting.
I want Republicans having flop sweat forming on their foreheads as reporters on the news are like, Why are you impeaching Joe Biden again?
And they're just like, Burisma!
Corruption!
Hunter Biden's massive dick!
I don't know!
Reasons!
They just run off screen and it's just like, okay, great.
Wonderful.
Outstanding.
This is, this is American democracy in its purest, most awesome form.
Just this absolute fucking nonsense.
Yeah.
This shit is cool when people are like suffering and we have like, you know, it's just like, what, what, what's the, what a shit to waste time on.
Are you going to cut the check for Maui rebuilding funds or are we going to impeach Joe Biden over bullshit that you made up?
Yeah, yeah.
Hunter Biden's massive hog.
I love that.
I love these people are like, Oh, Ukraine's getting another $10 billion, but you can't help Maui.
And it's like, well, Ukraine's fighting a war of aggression against it by a belligerent neighboring power.
And you are not cutting checks for Maui because you're obsessed with Hunter Biden's dick.
So I think, I think the plight of the Ukrainian people is greater than the plight of Hunter Biden's hog.
I just think that maybe that's a more important thing that people care about in America.
I don't know.
Maybe running against Hunter Biden is a huge winner for the Republican Party.
I don't know.
I don't know how America actually feels about Hunter Biden, except for the fact they don't even know who he is unless they're QAnon killed.
I think if you know who Hunter Biden is, you think he's kind of cool.
Like, I'm not gonna lie.
It's like, if you're in the know, it's just like... He's kind of cool.
He's a failed son who did a bunch of drugs and has a massive pee-pee.
Like, literally me, if I had a rich parent, it would just be like, I don't know what to do.
I'm just gonna do drugs.
I mean, the New York Young Republican Club hosted a watch party of his sex tape.
Oh my god!
Oh my god!
And they had um, cheese.
They handed out cheese because it was like, uh, like he said,
what did he say, that the crack was like, uh, So they gave out shredded cheese.
Oh, that's right.
That's a good reference.
I have a hookers and blow Hunter Biden shirt.
Perfect.
I hate him so much.
I hate him so much.
He makes me so mad.
And I'm gonna throw a party in his honor and do pretend drugs so I could pretend to be it's like kids smoking the candy cigarettes.
You know, like, I just want to be cool like Hunter.
This is a weird culture.
And then I want to watch the guy I hate having sex with women as I'm so mad at him.
I'm like, you, you're, you're getting laid, you piece of shit.
How you like them apples?
I'm watching you.
Fuck.
I'm totally owning you, Hunter.
Yeah.
Who's the man now?
Did they smoke cigars?
Was it classy?
Oh, I'm sure that they tried to smoke a cigar.
I mean, Jordan Sather is not in the Young Republican Club, but never forget that I did sit with him at a bar and watch him try to light a cigar backwards until somebody took it out of his mouth and lit it for him and put it back in.
It was a beautiful moment.
Jordan Sather is the most socially awkward human being who has ever lived.
This story came to us like a million years ago, and I don't think either one of you have heard this, but someone was in a—this is unsourced, this could be totally made up, but it's so bizarre and random, I don't know why you would lie about this—but Someone was in a supermarket with Jordan Sather and he stopped his shopping cart at the at the end of a aisle and then walked down the aisle grabbed one item walked back to his cart and dropped it off and then repeated this process for like six items.
He was just like aggressively getting his steps in in this supermarket where he just parked his cart where people like would be trying to get around it and then instead of just like you know being like a normal human being and just collecting like
nope, just walking back and forth down the aisle grabbing one
item at a time to put into a shopping cart.
Yes, it was very, very strange story. So the fact that he is
incapable of lighting a cigar does not surprise me. The man seems very, very weird.
I very much appreciated when he when he tried that when he claimed he was gonna sue me for defamation when I called
him an anti Semite after he posted a fucking triple a triple
posted the echoes on a thing talking about getting rid of all of
quote unquote them with the triple echoes around it. So And I was like, Jordan, the truth is an absolute defense in a defamation case.
I just have to post this tweet and I win.
Freedom of speech, Jordan.
Shut your mouth.
Please sue me, you giant dum-dum.
That's all you have to say to these fools.
You, Mike Lindell, any of you, please, someone sue me.
One of you idiots, please.
Advance towards me, brethren.
I live only for it.
But yeah, so I really...
Like, just watching Kevin McCarthy twist in the wind over this impeachment thing is so funny.
And on the one hand, there are QAnon promoters who are like, yeah, get him!
We're gonna do it!
Impeachment!
Woo!
And then there are others who are just like, you know what?
Impeachment is bullshit.
Impeaching Biden indicates that Biden is the legitimately elected President of the United States.
That is unacceptable.
Fuck impeachment.
We need to decertify the election and send him to Gitmo where he belongs.
Carrie Lake actually jumped in on this, too.
I saw her had a thing about, like, I want decertification is my answer to this problem.
And it's like, you do you, Carrie.
You go hard for the QAnon vote, Carrie.
That's the dream.
Let's do this.
So yeah, this literally cannot end well for the Republicans.
Senator Fetterman, did you see Senator Fetterman's reaction to this?
The best part about it was I saw so many QAnon people pissing and moaning about that.
And then people are also like, oh, look at his staffer huddling, moving him along because he's fucking up again.
It's like, no, his staffer's probably like, he's like, John, he's like, Mr. Fetterman, we have a meeting.
Please, please stop hamming up for the cameras.
We have to talk about the farm bill.
Plus, Brian Metzger from Insider quote tweeted that video and was like, he also did this to us, like, so he's done it more than once.
So the staffers know, you know, it's like a bit, you know?
Come on, Spider-Man.
He's like doing a dad joke.
It's like how Fetterman's wife and him have a bit where they take photos and they always crop his head out of the photos because he's so tall.
And I've seen QAnon people claim that the wife is a crippling narcissist who's trying to kill him and take his Senate seat.
Oh, that's so meh because I would be like, they're doing it because he's a clone and they don't want to see the earlobes.
No, they think she's evil.
They think she's an evil succubus.
Because she's kind of pretty.
And she's foreign, isn't she, for herself?
Yeah, she is Latina.
Isn't she from Brazil?
Yeah, I think she might have.
She was, yeah, she is Latina.
I don't know what form of Latina.
But yeah, she is pretty.
So they are like, she's an evil succubus woman who wants to take his soul and take his seat.
And she's, you know, like Weekend at Bernie's in him.
So she's actually the master behind the, you know, the puppet.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
There's a lot of really sexist shit about her.
You know, women, women do be in control of everything.
Women and Jews.
I'm always saying that.
Women do be in charge.
Yeah, she's a Brazilian-born American activist, is the official term Wikipedia uses for her.
So yes.
Yeah, they do not state that she is a succubus.
That may have been edited out.
No, they didn't edit that part.
The Deep State edited that out.
They didn't want to let everybody know about the fact that she is actually a demon from hell herself.
We're on the U. Giselle.
Yes, we are on the U. Giselle Fetterman, the obvious demon.
I love that shit so much in QAnon where they see someone on, they see either a drag queen or someone who's transgender or a young person who's upset or yelling and they're like, this isn't mental illness, this is actual demonic possession.
And I'm like, are you, how are you an expert on that?
Is there a course you can take where you can discern demonic possession?
How, How does one obtain this knowledge?
That's what I want to know.
And a lot of times, they're like, this is clearly demonic possession.
I'm like, well then, fuck you, buddy.
I don't need you for the clear demonic possessions.
I need you for the tough calls.
I need you to watch the video and be like, hmm, this one's on the borderline, but I'm going to lean towards demonic possession.
I need to know.
It's easy to be an umpire when the guy's out by five feet.
It's tough when it's a bang-bang play at first base.
That's what you get paid the big bucks for.
Come on, buddy.
So like, help me out here.
Gotta call in Rod Dreher for those.
Rod Dreher?
His wife's an exorcist or whatever.
Can I?
That exorcism, that is the hardest core form of LARPing.
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
I wasn't gonna bring it up, because I hate bringing him up, but Rob Schneider moved here to Arizona, like, during the pandemic, because he was like, I'm tired of commie California, and then he came here and started, like, stumping for Carrie Lake, and he did, like, this hilarious Sovereign Citizen-ass meeting on Telegram with this Sovereign Citizen grifter here, and then blocked me.
After I posted about that.
So I have a little, like, ongoing, like, I keep bringing up Rob Schneider, which I hate to do, but I put notifications on for him on my alt because I'm like, well, if he blocked me, I want to see what this motherfucker's up to.
And he mostly just makes his bad jokes, his bad racist jokes.
But because he lives in Scottsdale, he's, you know, an awful person.
No offense to good people in Scottsdale, but most of the people there are awful.
And he was talking about like a priest he's into and I looked up the guy and he's like a full-on exorcist priest.
Like he makes exorcist videos.
He had like a viral one.
I was like, dude, Rob Schneider's into like exorcism shit.
That's awesome.
Did you ever think, like, growing up, did you ever, like, watch one of his movies and just think, like, one day this guy and I are gonna be fucking connected?
This guy's gonna block me.
He's gonna be so pissed at me and so into exorcism.
I don't think I've watched one of his movies in full.
Like, name him.
Name him.
I remember The Benchwarmers, which I loved because I was extremely high when I saw it in the theater.
I remember the stapler joke in South Park, but I don't actually remember any Rob Schneider movies.
Thank you, Twitter, for bringing us these.
Just watch them.
They're just like us.
Interactions.
He's just like me for real, for real.
Oh, Rob Schneider.
What I'm really thrilled about is the idea of a priest who has a bunch of exorcism videos on social media.
Because I have seen, like, you have the chiropractors who are cracking people's backs and shit on social media.
You get the pimple popper people.
Now you have a priest who's doing exorcisms.
I just love the idea of that.
The idea... Everybody's understanding.
Viral, the need to go viral.
I just, I just cannot imagine being a person who would go to I don't know how you get to the point where you're like, yo, priest guy, exorcism me.
I'm fucked up and I need you.
I need to play along with your LARP.
I'm literally an NPC and you're the main character of a story and I need you to help me get well.
And then the exorcism priest is like, yes, for a small fee and for you to waive your rights to privacy so I can go viral.
I will yell at you and then you will play act thrash around a bit as this demon jumps out of your body.
It'll be great.
I remember a long, long time ago, I was There's a little side tangent here, but it's just so funny to me.
I worked at this cookie store for like a month.
I was out so fast because the manager lady was such an unbelievable bitch.
And this is the greatest thing anyone ever said to me at a job that was literally just entry-level service bullshit.
The cookie manager lady said to me, quote, it feels like you're just doing this for the money.
Yes, that is exactly why I'm doing this.
Giant cookies are not my passion.
I do not want to make a career out of giant cookies.
No.
So yes, I am literally here for a buck.
That is what I'm doing this for.
I come in here, I punch the clock, I collect money, I leave.
The end.
You've got me pegged, lady.
You nailed it.
Absolutely nailed it.
But while I was working there, one of my co-workers believed himself to be a werewolf.
Just literally groomed his facial hair to be a werewolf.
Just totally into that shit.
Lived the gimmick.
Loved it so much.
And he was in a group of people, and we played some Dungeons & Dragons.
Our DM sucked.
He was very bad.
I have never had a good DM.
So if anyone out there wants to give me a good campaign, I'm here for you.
I'm here to enjoy Dungeons & Dragons for the first time in my life, because it's never happened previously.
Because all my DMs have sucked shit.
But that group of people that I was involved with, that were in this group, One day, WerewolfGuy was talking to another person, and that other person was explaining to WerewolfGuy that they had four demons inside their head, and they had managed to pull the worst demon out of their head.
and trap it in a specially blessed jar.
And that now that demon was gone and that they were currently healing and recovering
and they were gonna go to work on the other three once that process has completed.
So I'm just imagining those people being the kinds of people
who are involved in the exorcism videos.
But that guy was doing it yourself.
He was ripping the demons out with his own wits, his own skills.
He didn't fucking go to some professional and pay for it.
This guy had pluck and determination.
He had some guile in him.
He was on a cold turkey.
Yeah, just cold turkey.
On demons.
Just ripping them demons out, left and right, like you fucking read about.
Just banging that shit out.
Fascinating.
Yeah, so...
Oh, yeah, that was a conversation, probably heard that good 20, 25 years ago.
Never forget it.
Never forget what I'm talking about.
Yep.
So, yeah, it's just because it was so matter of fact.
He's like, yep, got these four demons in my head fighting with me.
Got the big one out of the way.
Moving on.
I was like, okay.
I feel that, bro.
We got these.
Yes.
But can you trap your demons in a jar?
No, they just live with me.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
I mean, you could always call Roger's friend's wife.
I think it's better.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
He's a I just I just I love this shit so much.
I love it when other people can give me the, oh, you sweet summer child.
I love it so much that as fucking diseased and broken as I am, I'm not that bad.
He's an American conservative commentator who I believe is now living in Hungary still, but his stuff really went off the deep end and he started talking about his friend Nathan.
And his wife was possessed by demons and she was suicidal over it.
And then it's like, all these updates started happening, all these articles he started writing started being about Nathan's wife and just being like, you know, the priest is coming for the private exorcism at 11am tomorrow and I asked that you were all praying for her at 11am.
You know, we are all praying and Nathan is so happy because his wife is off with the exorcist priest and it's like, no, I think they're fucking.
I actually think that.
It's not a priest, that's just some guy, you know, she met him at the gym.
It got so weird that I think he got fired.
So he was getting a bunch of funding from some billionaire, and I think he started to lose his funding.
I think it was Coke money.
And I think they were like, no, we can't.
You've written about this woman's demonic possession like 30 times, and it's uncomfortable.
And they're also clearly having sex, and you are dumb.
Yeah, and so now he just like, I guess like wanders around, I think hungry and probably is sad.
I think I'm remembering someone talking about a guy having a crippling, he's like the most divorced man ever because he's living in Hungary now.
So I think I tangentially remember this man.
The whole exorcism wife thing.
And yeah, the exorcism priest guy is absolutely banging his wife 1 million percent.
That's not even questionable.
That's 100% certified.
Absolutely happening.
Wonder Bar.
OK, so now it's time to move on to our scintillating mailbag for the week.
Our listeners got questions.
We got answers.
It's time for Q&A.
EssentialCorp asks, if Roger Stone was a Star Wars character, who would he be?
This is all you, Mike.
I don't know enough about this universe.
Roger is basically Jabba the Hutt.
He's just this criminal scumbag.
And much like Jabba had Leia in the bikini, Roger Stone is a swinger.
Him and his wife would go out and go to swingers clubs and have crazy sex.
And then when Roger got convicted of his crimes and was about to go to jail, he claimed he found Jesus and all this good stuff and totally repented for all the bad things he did previously.
Did Jabba find Jesus?
Well, he died, so that's kind of like finding Jesus, right?
Maybe as Leia was choking him to death with the chain and killing him, maybe at that point Jabba had a deathbed confession and recanted for Christ.
Although he was being choked to death.
Jabba for Jesus.
I mean, Jabba was being choked to death, so he really couldn't talk.
And also, he speaks Hadian, so he probably couldn't have translated his gurgles as he was checking out, as it were.
He'd be like, I repent, Christ is Lord!
Which is like, that would also be really kind of a weird thing in Star Wars.
Out of nowhere.
That was weirdly Christian.
Weirdly Christian out of nowhere that Jafar's just like, fuck!
Everything I did before this was bullshit!
I need to get right with God right now!
Christ is King!
Christ is King!
Yes!
Oh God!
I personally, it won't even be Photoshop, I'm just going to have to get the photo of Leia choking out Jabba and just put the caption Crisis King at the bottom of it.
Jabba's deathbed conversion.
I'm just like, oh shit.
Poor bastard.
But yeah, that is Roger Stone.
Only the strangulation that that man has received in his life was for sexual gratification and not murder.
So he's living his scummiest life.
Right now, oh, this is going to segue perfectly into my secret question that was not in the mailbag, but somebody else posted it.
And now I'm going to pull it up on my phone so I can actually read it correctly, which is SubZeroShirtArt asks, this is surreal and we're all talking about QAnon here.
Can you address this bizarro infighting on the pod in case I forget to slip the question in the mailbag this week?
And yes, you did forget to slip the question in the mailbag, but I did catch this.
So what SubZero is talking about is one of Amanda's biggest fans in the Matrix.
In the Matrix, along...
Theater of the Mind, a man that just made the hard hand emoji with her hands.
In the Matrix, his buddy Shady Groove and their buddy The Authority are now on a three-man campaign to rewrite the Q-Drops and to completely invert the QAnon mythos into making Michael Flynn a black hat.
Michael Flynn is actually Deep State.
Michael Flynn is a baddie now, according to Matrix, Shady, and The Authority.
Will they not get paid?
I don't fucking know exactly what did this to them, but they have, they're now rereading Q-Drops, trying to slant them in such a way as to be like, hey, look, look, look, Q didn't say that Flynn was a good guy.
Q said this, and this doesn't look that good if you look at it this way.
They're right.
I agree.
They're correct.
Everything that QAnon stands for, Mike Flynn was, he's like pretending his past life didn't exist.
They're right.
You know what?
Jeff, I'm on your side.
He's in the lines.
He's right.
Michael Flynn is bad.
He's deep state!
Oh yeah!
Michael Flynn's absolutely the deep state.
Michael Flynn's 100% part of the intelligence community.
He's evil.
But the one question that these guys don't answer ever when this gets brought up is, why did Trump pardon Flynn when Flynn was going to do a few months on a club fed?
According to your mythos, Q and Trump are bros.
They hang out and talk all the time.
They clickety-clack on their keyboards every so often and create beautiful zero deltas for you to marvel at.
So if Q and Trump are BFFs, as you claim they are, and Q knew that Flynn was bad, why did Trump pardon Flynn for his crimes?
Why did he do that?
And why is Trump like, yay, Michael Flynn!
Get ready, because when I get back in the White House, you're a part of my administration!
I can wait.
I can wait for forever.
Do not let Donald Trump win.
It is very bad.
So stop this man.
Can you imagine Mike Flynn's anti-vaccine tour bus parked in front of the White House?
Right in front of my office!
I'd be able to see it out the window.
Wouldn't that be magical?
So Matrix, Groove, and Authority have come out aggressively against Michael Flynn.
They're also coming out aggressively against Roger Stone, who again, Donald Trump pardoned for his crimes.
So again, how is Trump fucking this up?
If these guys are bad, how is Trump getting this wrong?
Everybody else in the QAnon Grifter community are very mad at Matrix Authority and Groove.
They are all... We're on Team Flynn 100%.
Michael Flynn is the best.
We love Michael Flynn.
Liz Crokan has come out to defend him.
Almost all the other QAnon promoters have come out to defend him.
So this is a giant rift in the QAnon community where these three chuckle fucks, the two idiots with their podcasts or their stream or whatever it is, and their buddy Alex, the three of them are just off on their own bizarre This is like the Mormonism of QAnon, where the Matrix has found the golden plates that says that Michael Flynn is bad, and he talked to the angel Moroni, and all that good stuff, and now they believe in this version of QAnity, and everybody else is a mainstream Protestant or Catholic QAnoner, and they don't believe in the Michael Flynn being bad thing.
This is something that I don't think people understand enough about the QAnon community is that it is constantly roiling with infighting.
Every QAnon promoter you read, they basically fucking hate every other QAnon promoter.
It's just this constant anger and division and vitriol and venom.
They all hate each other.
Because they're all fighting for market share.
They're all fighting for an audience.
They're all fighting for money.
And they don't believe in fucking anything because QAnon is just absolute bullshit.
It's just make it up.
Make it up as you go along.
Just say whatever you fucking can to get people to buy your shit.
And anyone who's a friend of anybody's sells them out almost immediately.
It's like what's so funny about all this shit to me is You look at their community and how fractured and infighting and vicious it is, and then you look at the debunking community and it's basically, except for the bad person that we talked about earlier today, we're all bros.
We all know each other.
I mean, we all hang out and talk and are friends.
I'm never gonna tweet out in a month or two be like, you know who sucks?
Amanda.
That no good Jezebel.
Always had it out for her.
She's wrong about everything.
And Hayley, also terrible.
I mean, it's just... I'm terrible.
You're just a little PS footnote there.
Yep, that's how I feel.
That's a little dissonance.
I'm just terrible.
Hey, I want to make this clear.
That one of us footnoted themselves way before this because one of us was just like, we're never going to get Amanda on the pod.
Amanda's this rock star.
I was kidding.
No, you weren't.
No.
You were sobbing.
We're friends.
Amanda and I are friends.
I leave her rambling four, five minute voice messages all the time.
I sent myself a picture holding up the middle finger at my local Barnes and Noble because they didn't have their issue of the nation.
That's right.
A disgrace, Barnes & Noble.
A disgrace.
Three rows back to back of magazines.
No nation.
Bet you Rolling Stone was there.
It was.
And so was like a bunch of other shit that I was like, it's gotta be around here.
I wasn't bitter at all.
Don't worry.
I even bugged the guy at the counter.
I was like, when's this coming?
When's The Nation coming?
And he's like, what are you looking for?
Nation.
The Nation.
It's a magazine.
I really hope you've nerded up your voice that hard as you were talking.
It's a magazine.
It's a magazine.
It's called The Nation.
It has an article I want to read in it from my friend Amanda Moore.
She spunks Nazis.
It's great.
When I bought it, the bridesmaid I went to, they were like, do you want to sign up for our club?
And I was like, sure, whatever, I don't care.
And she's like, what's your name?
And I was like, oh, I can answer this because it's on the cover.
Which was a very fun but very douchey moment of my life.
I'm not the Dust Lady.
I'm not the Dust Lady.
I'm in the corner.
I'm in the Nation Magazine.
The Dust Lady probably hates me so much.
I'm not the dust lady. I'm not the dust lady. I'm in the corner.
I'm in the Nation Magazine.
The dust lady probably hates me so much.
Yeah.
So, yeah, anyhow, it's just like I have, I just, I honestly just love hanging out with all these people in this
community.
And it's just like, they just do work and they're just fighting the good fight.
And we're all just little Sisyphus is pushing this rock up the hill, trying to combat all this bullshit misinformation.
And I'm going to go ahead and close the meeting. Thank you.
And that's the thing is that like, I just respect everyone.
And I hope that most people feel that same way about everybody else.
And that, that brotherhood, that camaraderie really doesn't exist inside of QAnon.
Cause you give any two QAnon promoters like five months and they'll be at each other's throats almost immediately.
Something will happen.
There'll be a falling out.
There'll be an argument.
If you were in the weeds on this shit, you could name two people and I could tell you how they're fighting with each other.
Like, um, like fucking True the Vote and PepeLivesMatter.
Greg of True the Vote gave Pepe's brother like $7,000 to design t-shirts and memes for him.
And Pepe's brother just stole the money.
Just didn't even make anything for them.
Just took the money and ran.
Good.
Yeah, yes.
Fuck through the vote.
But it's just like that.
It's just all these people have all these things happening all the time where that kind of stuff happens.
And my other favorite, although my favorite QAnon promoter for bullshit, for what they did, is Qtaw.
Cause that man was an absolute, the worst human being, absolute scum, harassing people, harassing women, just an absolute fucking dirtbag.
And then one day he's like, Hey everybody, I got over COVID, but I'm still fucked up.
I don't have long COVID, winky winky, but I'm still fucked up.
Here's my GoFundMe.
And the guy got like, he got at least $40,000.
I think he got like $60,000.
And then he just dipped.
He just left the internet.
He gave his account to somebody else and he just ran away.
And it's like, way to go, buddy.
Way to take those QAnon bucks and just run.
Just run off into the sunset.
To treat your not long COVID.
Because you absolutely don't have long COVID.
100%.
It's not real.
Good thing you didn't get vaccinated.
Great job, buddy.
So, I mean, just... Anyhow, moving on to our final question from the actual listeners.
Pancake Peasant asks, are there actual Gen Z folks openly becoming Nazis at scale?
Is this a fringe of idiots like every generation has, or do you think there's a real threat for it to grow and become a thing?
It seems scary that we're 100 years removed from the buildup to the Third Reich.
Take it away, Amanda!
I just wrote an article about this that you can read at thenation.com.
Gen Z is, I mean, Amanda, take it away, literally, but like, I think I said this last week, Gen Z is just like, if you're a Republican Gen Z, you're into some really whack shit.
Nazi shit.
Yeah, we talked about that.
All these Republican staffers under the age of 30, they're all Chan lunatics.
They've all been blackpilled.
They're all nuts.
And that's not great.
Amanda, go.
I mean, there's a push in the Republican Party to kind of like remove these people.
I mean, I'm not going to say that all Gen Z Republicans are Nazis, because I know some that are not.
But Yeah I mean it's like I think the open door for extremism there I mean that's who's recruiting them you know it's it is that's the face that is recruiting you to to be part of that movement and you've got the college uh Republican like takeover uh you know so CRNC is is broken the the original college Republicans everybody thinks about CRNC they are you know destroyed financially and like uh
You know, they're demoralized.
And they've got multiple breakoffs that are all also suffering.
They're none of them are doing particularly great.
So it seems, you know, I don't think it's a mass movement in terms of like, Gen Z population overall, because when these groups break off, they lose funding, they lose, they lose influence, they lose their connections.
But I think a lot of the Within the Gen Zers who are Republicans, I think it's a sizable amount, though it's not all.
I mean, some people too are also involved in Republican groups because they're libertarians and not like the rapey kind, but like, you know, like, like left-leaning libertarians or like classical liberals.
And they don't feel at home in the Democratic Party, and they probably will in like five or six years when they grow up a little bit.
Um, but that's where they are.
And, but I mean, overwhelmingly, like, all of these, all of these very young people, but it's, it's so few Gen Zers who are Republicans.
It's not a majority of the actual population.
And there's a reason why, like, the more hardcore people, like, set up across from, like, Tepusa events, because they're trying to, like, snipe those more normie Republican young kids, you know?
Like, they want radicalism.
Let's be clear about Turning Point USA too, because I mean, I always call Turning Point USA, I say, oh, Austin's played mainstream, and I had someone on SiriusXM of all places correct me, and he was like, no, we don't consider them mainstream here.
And I was like... What, Turning Point?
And I was like, my brother in grace, guess what the mainstream is now, you know?
Oh, because I think five years ago, I mean, you know, look at the Gripper Wars.
Would that happen now?
Probably not.
They've themselves radicalized to the point that it's super weird.
I mean, when I was at the Republican National Convention last month, I had young Republicans telling me, oh no, Turning Point USA is a bunch of fucking lunatics.
They're extreme lunatics, and we do not want to be like them.
I'm laughing only because when you said, my brother in Christ, all I was imagining was Jabba being choked by the chain and trying and croaking out his solidarity with Jesus as it was happening.
So anyhow, that brings us to our final question, which as always is, what are you looking forward to?
I guess I will go first.
I'm looking forward to the fact that football exists and that my Hailey Truckling, as for Arizona Cardinals, will go 0-17 and win not a single game.
She won't even notice.
I don't know what that means.
You have a football team in your town.
They're incredibly bad.
You have no idea how bad that team is.
Historically bad.
Wow, how dare you.
I'm sorry.
No enemies.
Fair, fair.
I accept your sports hatred.
Your basketball team may be good.
Your basketball team has a shot this year.
So good for you on that.
Hockey team also sucks.
Baseball team, mediocre.
How's our disc golf team doing?
Surprisingly solid.
Got some free agents working out good.
Disc Golf.
Where it's at.
America.
America's new hotness.
Disc Golf.
Basically, the Patriots, my beloved sportsball team, were left for dead, according to all the experts.
And then the New York Jets, who are the new hotness, their quarterback had his Achilles ruptured.
It was probably because he's vaccinated.
That's a joke, he's unvaccinated.
But he got injured, the Jets now suck, and the team they beat, the Buffalo Bills, looking like dog shit.
So, suddenly the Patriots have gone from last place to second in the span of one game they lost.
So, congratulations, my sportsball team.
You're doing slightly better than we thought you would.
You're still not going to go anywhere, so.
But hey, it's better than just watching you lose every week.
What are you looking forward to, Haley?
I don't know if it's really like looking forward to, but there's like a Moms4Liberty event in town this week, and it might be a thing, so that's something to do.
I don't know.
I love the flat intonation.
It just shows the passion and enthusiasm you have.
I hope that there's people that, like, protest it, but I don't think there, it doesn't seem like it got much, like, attraction.
I don't think a single outlet here wrote about it.
Sucks to suck, Moms4Liberty.
Yeah.
Way to not go viral.
people that want to see Moms for Liberty without any pushback I'm worried about, but we'll
see.
You know what Moms for Liberty needed to do?
They needed to stage an exorcism, then boom, viral.
They're everywhere.
They need to go find that guy's wife and totally not have some guy have sex with her, but instead
exorcise her and remove her demons and put them in a special jar.
It'll just be a bunch of fascists.
Are you going?
Probably.
I'm jealous.
I was supposed to be in... I'm supposed to be on a plane right now to Texas to go to a Nazi event in a library but I had to cancel so I'm really jealous.
I hope you... I want to live vicariously through you.
Yeah, I hope there's small acts of resistance but again it hasn't gotten much traction so I don't know what I'm gonna see.
Probably just a bunch of people being like, we should get rid of trans people from schools.
That kind of shit, you know?
Books are bad.
Yeah, books are bad.
Ban them.
We should just ban education entirely.
Oh, they're going after bilingual education here.
Pretty hard.
The superintendent.
Spanish?
Or like are they also met at the French schools?
No, just Spanish.
It's just like the immersion classes.
They want kids who speak English as a second language just to get thrown in to English classes and not like have the immersion courses where they like, you know, have Spanish for part of the day.
It's like an immersion, you know, so you learn the language, but also have your own language.
So it's easier to kind of get into the classroom, but they're like, no, fuck you.
How about nothing?
Helping kids learn.
That's not Republican.
That's not the Republican way.
Fuck you.
It should be just mentioned that this guy is like kind of a big fucking racist.
So it's like, no, no way.
Yeah.
Um, thank God I was seated before you said that.
Oh man, I could have ruptured my tailbone.
Yeah.
So, uh, it'll be a real chill event.
I'm sure.
So that's what I'm looking forward to.
Asterisk.
What are you looking forward to, Amanda, besides hanging out with Nazis that you didn't hang out with because you cancelled your plane ride?
I'm going... my cornhole team, my cornhole league starts up next week, so that's exciting.
How's the Arizona Cornhole League?
They good on the rankings?
You can watch it on ESPN sometimes.
Really?
ESPN's got a cornhole.
They're fucking serious on this shit.
I was going to play Bocce, but that just ended and we came in second place, so... Bocce's awesome, bitch.
Congratulations to us.
Have you ever played curling?
I want to be on a curling team.
No, they set it up here every so often, you know, but it's like a novelty thing.
Oh yeah, absolutely.
I've never done it.
I don't like crowds.
Yeah.
I was asked by somebody, I had a coworker who designed cornhole boards.
He actually would build them and he could actually put in LED lights on the sides and all this stuff.
He had really elaborate cornhole boards.
He asked me, we never actually worked it out, but I was supposed to be the play-by-play guy for the cornhole events.
I was supposed to come in and do commentary.
on Cornhole.
So I had to watch some Cornhole broadcasts to get the lingo down.
So I would know what airmailing means.
I would not.
I just throw the bags and leave.
Airmail means you throw it into the hole directly.
You don't try to slide it in.
You don't try to run it up the board and into the hole.
And airmail is just like direct toss.
Just like you're shooting a basketball.
Yeah, if I'm a little drunk, I'm really good at that.
I'm like two drinks in and I'm a fucking beast at that move.
Three, it's over.
It's over.
I love that so much because there was some famous poker player said that he had a friend who was the tightest player in the world sober, the best player in the world buzzed, and the worst player in the world drunk.
That's nice.
Just imagining, you just gotta calibrate your brain perfectly for the right amount of alcohol so that you can effectively play poker slash cornhole.
Yeah.
And defeat your enemies.
Yeah.
Yep.
So with that, we are going to exit Hellworld for the week.
We are going to do some sort of thing that you can imagine mentally in your head as a visual representation of the three of us fleeing this burning hellscape.
Whatever that is, you, the audience, are better than I am.
So, of course, I have to thank DJ Minimal Effort for our intro music.
He does not have social media because he sucks and is bad at that stuff.
We have to thank Frosty for our bumps, because Frosty was the voice of Q. When Q existed, it did Q drops, and we still have the bumps that he does all the good time, because he is a good voiceover artist.
You can find him on X at FrostyVO.
You can find Hayley at all the various social media platforms under AZRW now, because she was threatened by crippling litigation.
Pick up Arizona Wright Watch.
It's pretty easy to find me.
She's around.
You'll find her.
Amanda Moore is world famous and just pretty much known by everybody everywhere.
You can find her everywhere.
She is the best and the greatest.
And we had to, she doubled her appearance fee to be on the pod and we paid it gladly because that's just awesome.
Beyond all of that, If you want to give us ChuckleFucks money, please do.
You can go to Patreon.com slash PokerPolitics.
Help us out.
You can also go to the GoFundMe that I've started because I was swindled by the American medical system, and I paid almost $2,000 for pieces of plastic to put in my shoes, which was not great, but they relieved my foot pain, and now I have to pay that money back very quickly, or I will have to pay $4,000 for these pieces of plastic.
Fuck the doctor who sent me to that place, and fuck that store.
That's my happy story.
If you don't listen to my whiny, weepy bullshit and you want to give your money to someone who actually deserves it, donate to love146.org.
Their organization is attempting to end human trafficking.
And that is a good thing.
And it is a thing that QAnon always talks about, but they don't do.
Any human trafficking organization says that QAnon is actually a net negative on that front.