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July 13, 2023 - Adventures in HellwQrld
01:33:01
Adventures in HellwQrld Episode #148: -48 is dead, Sound of Freedom is bad

This week Haley joins Mike and Sarge to talk about -48 dying, True The Vote getting sued, and we recap the horrible Sound of Freedom movie. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Time Text
I'm going to play it again. Let's go.
Content Warning.
The Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in depth about QAnon, which means we have to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people.
Listener discretion advised.
Hello, everybody.
I'm Mike Rains, a.k.a.
Poker and Politics, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld.
This week, I am joined by Sarge.
I'm only here because Mike saved me from a trafficker.
Like, he saved me.
My story is his story.
It is the truth.
It is the truest of stories.
Unfortunately, I did not save Elle from the traffickers.
Elle's been trafficked.
As me and my other host will explain, I am mission orientated and I'm goal focused.
And the only person I wanted to save was Sarge.
And that's what me and Haley are going to talk about when we get to our headlines.
So, hi Haley.
Hi.
I heard he's stuck in cartel territory.
He is.
Rebel cartel territory in unnamed jungle.
Yes.
But I saw the tattoo on the back of Sarge, and I was like, that's Sarge.
The only person I want to save from this village.
Therefore, I'm going to save him and only him.
And as the dozens of other people cried out about their oppression, I was like, you know what?
You're not the named NPC.
You're not the goal of my fetch quest.
So, tough shit.
I'm out of here.
Bye.
Catch you later.
So yeah, we have thoughts.
We have thoughts and comments about our main headline that we will get to at that point in the ill-determined future of the podcast.
In the grim future of the podcast, there is only movie.
That is the nature of things.
But until then, we will talk about other things that are going on, because that's the nature of this thing that you good people put into your ear holes once a week in order to make yourselves wiser and smarter and better than all of your friends.
And that's what I commend you for.
The whole time before the pod started, we were just talking about our cats.
Mike doesn't have any cats, but me and Hayley do.
No, I had cats, but I do not have cats currently.
One day in the future, I will reobtain cats, and they will be great.
I have two, and my girlfriend has five, so that's why we don't live in the same house.
We have separate domiciles, because we're just like...
That'd be seven cats.
For the cats.
I'm thinking of the children.
It is for the cats!
It is, honestly.
We've had this conversation recently and we were just like, that would be too many cats in one house.
I have one cat.
She's fat.
She's awesome.
Your fur babies from previous marriages would not co-mingle, and therefore you have to remain separate for a while.
The furless baby, the hairless cat, the vet actually told me that he could put on weight, which is not a problem I've ever had with a cat.
They were just like, he could put on some weight.
We'd be fine as his doctor, as his vet.
We would be fine if your cat, this one, put on a little weight.
You plumped him up.
Yeah, when the glorious day comes that I obtain cats, I'm probably going to obtain two, and I'm going to name one Moe and one Lewis in honor of the man that crushed Drew Bledsoe and made Tom Brady take the field for the first time ever, and thus led to the Patriots being the greatest sports franchise ever.
That's a good plan.
It's a real deep cut for Patriot fans, but yes.
Yeah, now my cat Creature was named after the house elf before J.K.
Rowling became a massive piece of shit.
So now we'll say he's either named after a magic card or there's a character from Labyrinth called Creature.
There's a Creature in Labyrinth, I think.
Oh, okay, Creature.
Yeah, so we'll probably go with that.
We'll go with that.
However, however we can defend the, that kind of thing is like so funny.
That's the problem with naming is something or anything based off of the lore of a series.
Cause you just don't know either if the author of the series is going to become terrible or if the series is going to go off a cliff.
Like how many poor kids named Khaleesi, their parents were just like, Oh no, Oh no, that final season.
No, what did you do?
I had my crazy awesome girl boss name for my daughter and now I gotta call her, like, Liz or Lise or something because her legal name is now awful and bad because they just absolutely ruined Danny and absolutely ruined the series in, like, just the last... She was, like, one of the strongest parts of that show for a very long time and then, man, yeah, that last season really just... Yeah, I don't want to get into that.
That is... I don't know.
That's... God, that's such a bummer.
I mean, Harry Potter, like, you can still watch the movies and they're relatively good, especially if you already own them and you're not giving any more money to Joanne, but, like, can't really go back to Game of Thrones the show because it just, it always ends bad now.
Like, it's...
What do you do?
Right, you're just like, oh man, remember this awesome episode?
And then remember where it leads to.
Womp womp.
Just end it at the Red Wedding.
That's a better ending of the series than literally the actual ending of the series.
There has to be a better place to end it than the Red Wedding.
You said that, and I was like, no, you can't end it there!
Dark ending, rather than crappy ending.
You end it on the cold open where Arya kills all the Freys and avenges the Red Wedding.
That's it, just boom.
Arya rips the mask off, boom, I did it, I avenged my family.
It's a three minute long episode and then the series is over and people are like, what the fuck?
And then it just works out better.
You get no closure on anything going on with the wall and the White Walkers?
Nope, none of it.
That was all wrapped up in one episode.
Oh, God, yeah, man.
And that's what you people came here for.
For, I don't know, incredibly late complaining about the final season.
Timely!
Trenchant analysis of pop culture.
Timely Tales of Thrones analysis and Harry Potter commentary.
Oh yeah, that's us.
That's what we're here for.
That's the hot, hot heat we bring here at Hellworld.
Because we are out of the loop now.
I never watched like five minutes of Succession, and then I just saw people at the end were like, some lady knew that a guy that was a baseball player tipped off what the ending was, and I was like, what?
I don't even, like, just, no.
Don't care.
Okay, but are you on that Skibbity shit?
Skibbity?
Yeah, Skibbity.
You on the Skibbity series yet?
No?
I don't even know what Skibbity is.
You've scared me.
I feel confused and frightened.
I'll send you a Skibbity clip later and I'd recommend everybody look that up.
That's what Gen Alpha's into right now.
They're all up in that Skibbity shit and it's just like toilet people.
They're like people's heads in toilets and then they're fighting.
It's like an ongoing series where they're fighting these like Like CCT camera headed men in suits.
It's all, it's a really interesting YouTube series that Jen Elph is really into.
Is it a new analog horror thing?
Kind of.
It kind of reminds me of like, you tell these kids like their parents were into like Five Nights at Freddy's.
That is a tangent I could get off on.
Five Nights at Freddy's fandom is fucking fascinating.
The creator pre-canceling himself because he's such a devout crazy Christian is endlessly interesting.
I think I'm giving too much credit to the skibbity toilet men, but I find it to be kind of funny.
See, I'm one of the olds, and occasionally the youngs walk across the top of my tomb and whisper secrets down, but Skibbity has not gotten down to me.
Oh, I have no idea about Skibbity.
I have no idea.
I'm going to go chase some young men off my lawn.
I just sent you a Skibbity video of Biden.
Oh, great.
Wonderful.
On Twitter.
Oh, me?
No, Mike.
Oh, God.
This is, again, incredible, incredible podcasting.
This is just... Hey, man, you said we should talk about something current, you know?
Skibbity is the hot shit right now.
I am.
Oh, God.
Oh, this is like Team Fortress nonsense.
I know Team Fortress nonsense.
OK.
Skibbity.
I didn't know that Skibbity.
I see Biden's head on a toilet now.
That's great.
Wonderful.
It's really cool.
OK.
It's a good series.
I'm going to take your word for it, even though I don't believe you.
Anyways, that's the that's that's to keep us up with the modern kids.
Oh, okay.
Exactly zero people.
If you are a listener who knows what Skibbity is, please tell me because... If you have children, they probably know what Skibbity is.
Oh, dear God.
Well, nuts to all this.
We're playing the Boosh fucking soundtrack.
It's time for a light sampling of insanity.
Get ready for the Amuse Boosh.
Oh, man.
So we were probably going to lead with a different topic today, which was something that happened pretty much right after we started recording.
We stopped recording last week, but we got breaking news right now that our good friends at True The Vote, who led us to creating the bonus content, Mule's Errand, which you can listen to for the low, low price of five dollars a month at our Patreon, patreon.com slash poker politics.
Get in on that.
Listen to the mule stuff.
It's very fun.
But True the Vote, who were the data people behind 2,000 Mules, whereas Dinesh was the producer slash frontman grifter of that group.
The Georgia election board has now sued True the Vote, demanding they give over their evidence of voter fraud in the 2020 election.
Now, you would think that if True the Vote actually had evidence of election fraud, they would have been very happy to have given it to Georgia's Board of Electors.
They weren't.
They have fought tooth and nail to avoid following or complying with the subpoena.
They've done the same thing in Arizona, because, like, they obviously presented here, you know, and everyone's like, OK, what's the evidence?
And they're just like, don't worry about it.
That's that's true.
The vote's modus operandi is to make incredible claims, claim they have evidence to back up those claims and then refuse to present that evidence when asked for it, because Spoiler alert, they don't actually have any evidence.
Well, they're going to find out what a default judgment is if they keep not producing their evidence.
Well, that's the thing, is that if this lawsuit does go through, the Georgia State Election Board does have the ability to make a criminal referral.
They do have the ability to eventually tell people who can actually enforce things via charges.
They can just go to, like, the legal bodies in Georgia and be like, hey, True the Vote is dicking around with us.
They refused to comply with us in court to give us the evidence we were looking for.
Now you can hold, you can now charge them with criminal contempt.
Like, so, True the Vote is now walking down this path where they could very easily end up with actual charges if they don't comply.
And they've obviously got two options here, which is comply and admit what everyone has said about them for fucking forever, which is that their stuff is bullshit or, um...
They don't comply and risk jail.
Who's the comedian?
The meme?
I didn't do shit!
I didn't do shit!
Just him shouting that, that's gonna be them when they show up.
They just have to scream that again and again for an hour until they're arrested and walked off.
Oh my god.
Yeah, it's, to quote a tweet that had me absolutely cackling, it was the fuckaroundiest of times, it was the findoutiest of times.
Like, a lot of people are getting caught up with lately, all the January 6th people.
This is just the most recent, and it's fantastic to hear.
You'll love to hear it.
These shit-ass grifters, more of them need to be held to account.
Yeah.
One thing I don't think enough people know about this group is that they pulled this shit for 2016 as well, but it never got any traction because nobody actually cared because Trump won the Electoral College.
Basically, just Trump was a sad little panda, and so were a few other people, but the email lady got more votes than him in the popular election.
And Greg Phillips, the bearded fellow from True the Vote, he, right after the 2016 election came out, said, oh, there's voter fraud that accounts for that 3 million votes that Hillary got.
Trump actually won the popular vote.
And then when people were like, so Greg, you got the evidence for those 3 million votes being bullshit?
And he was like, don't worry about it.
Forget about it.
Do they not know that Fox News, Fox News, who definitely has more money than all of them, lost their lawsuit when they tried to put their toe in that water to the tune of $900 million and Tucker Carlson's job.
If you see them lose, and you're in the same boat, you're literally driving that same boat, you're like, man, maybe I should... I don't know what their options are at this point.
Like, you can't really backpedal.
Their only options are to give over their quote-unquote evidence and have it be destroyed for being bullshit, because I'm in a DM group with a bunch of 2000 Mules debunkers and people like that.
These people are still debunking that movie after all this time.
They're still digging into all the analysis.
They're still fighting the good fight against that movie.
And at the end of the day, All Truth or Vote ever had was anonymous cell phone tower data which cannot be conclusively proven to be close enough to ballot boxes to prove that a person was at the ballot box.
Like that cell phone data Can put you within I think they said like the median is like five meters so it's like 50 feet or so and that's as good as it gets and that was the fucking unbelievably like ridiculous
Lazy amount of data that they were using to say, Oh yeah, this person was at the, at that ballot box.
It's like, no, in order to have data that precise, you'd have to have data pinpointing someone within like two feet of the ballot box and preferably two feet where they could actually access like the little slot to drop the ballots into it.
Like if I'm within 50 feet of a ballot box, that doesn't mean shit.
I could have been inside the building that the ballot, that, that ballot box location was outside of, like, you don't have anything really on me.
Wait, how close did you say it can get you?
Like, they said about 5 meters.
5 meters?
Yeah, break that down in freedom units for me.
Oh, oh yeah, 27, 17!
It's 17 freedom units.
17 feet?
No, freedom units.
I was saying that because it was a Q thing, but yeah.
Oh.
I made a Q joke and didn't realize.
I heard someone else somewhere call it, like, I'm sorry, I don't know Oh my god, it is!
It's sixteen feet point four inches.
I'm rounding it up.
Seventeen feet.
Cue proof.
Boom.
I'm killed.
Fuckin' happened.
It's true.
So in freedom units, five meters is sixteen and a half feet.
We'll say seventeen to be nice to Mike.
That's, you know, close, but not close enough for a legal case, because if I'm seventeen feet from something, I can't, like, And again, I think I'm probably being too generous.
I think like 50 feet is actually where we're at, but even five meters is wrong.
And that's like, one of the, my favorite things, these assholes to complain about, they're like, Oh, they use geolocation to catch people on January 6th, but not the mules.
And it's like, yeah, the Capitol is way bigger than a fucking ballot box.
Way easier to geolocate somebody inside the Capitol building, because the Capitol building is ginormous!
A ballot box is tiny and small by comparison.
This isn't fucking... this isn't the gotcha you think it is.
And on top of that, almost all of the January 6th defendants were literally, like, GoPro-ing themselves, going, Woo!
Committing crimes!
Crimes!
I'm doing a crime now!
So it's like, no.
These people were very proud of what they were doing.
They were broadcasting it to the world.
They were live streaming it and shit.
So, no.
Some might say 17 feet is about the distance you would be if, like, your cell phone pinged and you were driving by a location.
Right.
That's what this fucking data is.
It's cell phone pings.
It's worthless.
It's absolute nothing.
And that's the thing.
It's basically true.
The vote has two options.
Either hold out and see if they can not go to jail for a contempt charge or just give over the cell phone data and admit that their data is trash.
I've had so many fucking QAnon promoters I've seen who've been like, man, if True the Vote would just release the data, we Anons could coordinate it.
We could fucking make it work.
We would bring this whole house of cards crashing down.
Come on, Catherine and Greg, just hook us up.
And it's like, buddy, do you believe in Santa?
If you believe in this fucking cell data being legitimate, then boy howdy, do I got a bridge to sell you.
Do I got a Tim Ballard movie to sell you?
Oh, do we ever?
Oh, boy, do we have a fucking Tim Bauer movie to sell you?
If like a cell phone ping is all it takes to like, convict me of a crime, like, I there's, you can find me about literally everywhere in Kansas City if it's just like, Because I'm constantly driving.
Yeah.
God damn it.
Like, yeah, it's so wrong.
It's not even it's so wrong.
It's quote unquote, not even wrong.
It's like literally they're not even in the ballpark of reality with this shit.
So good on the Georgia State Election Board for finally filing suit against these grifters.
And we'll just see how that all works out.
And The real loser in all of this is Catherine, because I think like a week or two ago, Greg posted something where he's like, I am incredibly sick.
I probably actually have terminal cancer at this point.
But I will win because God loves me and he'll make it all right.
He's got an anime on his side.
Yeah, and the thing is, I've had a bunch of people who've kind of thought that Greg knew his health was really not that great, so he was just kind of shooting his shot here because Hey, it's his last mission.
Right.
Let's smoke him if you got him.
But Catherine's the one who's really going to be holding the bag here if this all goes the way it does.
So good luck, Catherine.
Enjoy being the culpable criminal for all of the lying and bullshit you did to make Dinesh D'Souza a lot of money.
Score.
Huge win all around.
So, yeah.
So that, man.
Couldn't, couldn't happen to a nicer grifter.
So speaking of nice grifters that had great things happen to them, negative 48 is dead!
That's right!
Boom!
Boom!
It's bad to celebrate the deaths of people.
Well, it actually is not.
When terrible people die, you can absolutely be happy about it.
Okay, so I saw- He hurt people.
He was abusive.
Yeah, he was a monstrous cult leader and like kept people- oh, endless bad things.
Friend of the Pod Karma can tell you all about him.
Follow her on Twitter.
I'm sure she's said some things, but... She just kind of announced it.
It was pretty blank, like he died.
Yeah.
Well, the main reason... Comments off.
I talked to her about that, and I did try to get her on the show for this because I was like, hey, you're the negative 48 person.
He just died.
And she was like, I'm really busy.
I might be able to get in to do some talking next week.
So I might try to have an interview with her soon.
But the gist of what she said was, the main reason why she made that announcement is because inside the cult itself, they are trying to keep people from finding out that he is dead.
Yeah.
I asked her too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The cult itself is just sort of trying to keep this under wraps.
They're trying to keep this on the low low.
And because the cult follows karma, because negative 48 made her a part of their mythos.
She said about 600 of his followers follow her.
Yeah, like, so she's this big, weird frenemy of the cult in the way that Brotsman had made it be.
So her announcing that was like her attempt to pierce the veil of the cult not wanting to tell them, the cult leadership not wanting to tell the rank and file.
Oh yeah, by the way, the leader's dead.
He got himself killed in a motocross accident with him.
He fucking murdered himself on a motorbike.
You can, like, feel the hubris of the man in his final moments, you know?
Real quick, some clarification.
I've seen two reports that he died in a motorcycle accident and a car crash.
Is it the same thing?
Did a car hit his motorcycle?
How did he actually die?
Let me just ask that.
Injuries from his motorcycle accident.
Okay.
So he was probably, he may have been hit by a car while he was on a motorcycle.
I feel like he was just going like 300 miles an hour like watch this!
Well I mean in the mythology that he had created no one ever actually dies.
So he was probably of the mindset that he was effectively immortal.
It seems a lot of his followers do think he's not dead still, though.
Yeah.
His whole thing is people can come back from the dead.
So I was never very clear on that.
Did he say JFK faked his death. No, wait, it's JFK Jr.
He JFK JFK was this is I've actually had karma break this down for me. Okay, his his mythology of john f. Kennedy is
that John F. Kennedy was killed in Dallas. But that somehow four
days later, he was med bedded back into health, which Jesus to Yeah, I was about to say they have a story for that
already.
Right, and the thing about that that makes me, I have a lot of questions, which is, those questions are mostly, how good are these fucking med beds?
Because A, Kennedy suffered some pretty egregious injuries when he was killed.
And then, he was autopsied, and while they did fuck up the autopsy, they did pull his brain out of his head, what was left of his brain out of his head.
They did do an autopsy.
They did slice and dice him.
And then, they prepared him for burial, which meant he was filled with formaldehyde and all that good stuff.
So, how you got this annihilated corpse of a person into a med bed four days later, and big bang boom, he came out fresh as a rose, I will...
You're gonna have to walk me through the steps of the science of the medbed other than fucking magic or the Lazarus pits that Ra's al Ghul uses to reanimate himself.
Rapunzel cried and her final single tear healed him.
Yes, brought back JFK.
Yes, JFK was healed by Rapunzel.
That's about what the medbeds are.
So yeah, so these medbeds apparently can do all kinds of great stuff.
So I'm sure that a mere motorcycle accident won't be nearly enough.
to keep our boy negative 48 down for long.
So, um, but yeah, his, so his cult is trying to deal with the fact that he is dead.
Although he might not be, although he is, although he might not be.
Because they lived in that world of everyone's alive.
They would go to rock concerts and they would think that Mick Jagger was Donald Trump or JFK or Elvis.
I mean, it's just this nonsense alternate reality that was even more bizarre than QAnons.
And this is why one QAnon promoter Out of all of them, literally posted one article about him and was just like, media says bullshit about bullshit.
I don't know this guy.
I don't know who the fuck he was.
And it's just like, yeah, motherfucker, you people created this.
You people started QAnon.
You got the ball rolling for this.
And then this guy just effort posted his way into a cult via QAnon.
And now you're pretending that he's not part of your movement.
Get fucked with that shit.
You, you lying dirtbags.
Cause, uh, Protzman was queuing on all day.
You're just mad that he likes the JFK Jr.
shit, and also that he started an in-real-life cult, which you don't want to be associated with.
Does that make you sad?
Kind of.
Like, I guess for a cult leader was reasonably successful, all things considered.
I don't know what we're judging cult leaders by, but I feel like having an active cult that, like, camps out in a fucking park for months is pretty Like, it gets you on the board.
And he travels around and goes to every Trump rally.
That's how I've seen him, like, seven times in person.
Oh, yeah.
You said before we started that you had seen him.
Yeah, I seen him and the buses and then like the breakaway Scooby-Doo people and then they broke down here in Arizona for a while and then when the guy was trying to change the tire he broke his leg so they were stuck here for months.
So they like have kind of presence in Arizona too.
The one time I like got close enough to Protzman to hear him talking, he was trying to pill like some young couple at a Trump rally about the JFK stuff.
He was just babbling and they like, you could tell they were like slowly doing that, like back away, kind of like, okay, that's nice, sir.
Yeah.
Thank you, sir.
This is Denny's.
Yeah.
This is a Trump rally.
This is just a regular Trump rally, sir.
If I wanted to hear your shit, I'd be in Dealey Plaza right now.
And then that Mickey lady was always around, the one that like, that's her name, right?
Oh, I don't know.
You said the Scooby-Doo Crew, like our audience might know what that's about, so I'm going to do a quick little explainer.
So Protzman exiled a bunch of people and kicked them out of the actual Negative 48 cult, and a splinter group formed that called themselves the Scooby-Doo Crew.
And they were convinced that their exiling was part of nine-dimensional chess and at some ill-defined point in the future, Protzman would bring them back into the fold and reveal to the rest of the cult that they were the elect, that they were the chosen few that were gonna serve at Protzman's right hand, at the right hand also of Kennedy and Kennedy Jr., et cetera, et cetera.
So yeah, this stuff was incredibly toxic and incredibly destructive and had more layers than an onion.
It was super brutal.
And they also traveled in a actually pretty well done mystery machine that was like a combination of Scooby-Doo stuff and JFK stuff and Trump stuff.
Are you calling it that because it was actually painted like the Mystery Machine?
Oh, it was not painted.
It was like professionally wrapped and it was like actually a huge sized RV.
Shut up.
And I'll send you some pictures.
Shut up.
Your DMs are not open, but I'll send you some pictures.
I just need to give you my personal Twitter or whatever.
And it says like on the back, like it like advertised some of his sheep in Asia.
Mike, do you know what that even is?
What?
Nope.
Yeah.
You're going too deep.
Sorry.
Yeah, I didn't.
And then, um, sometimes they would, uh, like actually booth at the Trump rallies and sell their cookies, which I was like, how did they get away with that?
I know that's not healthy.
That, that didn't mean health care.
Trump would have to want, well, no, he doesn't give a shit about Q anymore.
Like he just doesn't mention it, but like lets it exist.
Um, but yeah, there was one lady that would, Like she always would travel with them.
Um, and she dresses up like, kind of like Captain America, but with a Q on the chest.
I must've seen a picture of her, but I feel like I haven't.
And I don't know how I haven't seen a picture of her after all this year, all these years of doing this.
And then like, she wears like a military style hat that's like red, white, and blue with a Q on it.
And then, um, Her car has just, like, got every Q sticker on the planet, like, on the front window.
Nice, nice.
Oh my god, this is a little bit off topic, but for the first time ever, in person, when I was driving, So the big Taylor Swift concert was in Kansas City like two days ago.
Oh yeah.
So a lot of people came in town.
And while I was driving around, I saw in transit, no license plate, just in transit, handwritten, in the back of a car.
And I was like, oh my god!
I've studied Sovereign Citizens for so long.
I've watched every thing.
I've never seen one in person.
Yeah, they were just cruising through the middle of Kansas City in transit.
Was he going to the Taylor Swift concert?
I mean, had to be, right?
Otherwise, they were from Iowa, at least I assume, because the in-transit was written on an Iowa DMV form.
Taped in the back windshield.
Dude, maybe you saw that one that was stalking her.
There was a sovereign citizen stalking Taylor Swift.
That'd be hilarious if that was her.
Yes.
Let's see where he's from.
But yeah.
We're still in the boosh.
It's off topic, but there we go.
Taylor Swift comes to Kansas City.
Taylor Swift isn't one of the celebrities that QAnon is like, adamant is a Satanist, right?
It's mainly Lady Gaga.
Taylor Swift got in a little too late because the Illuminati people, the Illuminati people are more kind of into the era of Lady Gaga, Beyonce.
Katy Perry was the one that really got, was the last line of that group of people that got hit with the Satanist stuff.
She's so lame!
They're hitting Doja right now.
Doja Cat?
Yeah.
Doja Cat, I guess, they were on Billie Eilish for a little while, because whatever the new hotness is, they have to accuse them of being Illuminati, because that's the only way this works.
And Taylor Swift was just on either side of that wave.
Like, they got the people before her, and they're getting the people after her.
Well, Taylor Swift was the, the main thing I remember from Taylor Swift on the internet was that neo-Nazis just loved her and created this whole mythos of her being this like perfect Aryan woman and all this kind of stuff.
She's the great white hope.
And then she came out as a lib and it made them all very sad.
Like they were, they were so pissed when she came out as a big time liberal.
They were just like, no, no, my Aryan queen, how could use like Obama?
No.
And it was just, The sovereign citizen who stalked her was from Indiana.
So what was your license plate?
I assume this guy, he didn't have a license plate.
Oh, yeah.
I assume this guy was from Iowa, because the in transit was written on Iowa DMV documents.
She's got another Sovsit to look out for.
Yeah.
Yeah, so, like, all of the, geez, so yeah, so this trainwreck, we'll reign this back in.
Yeah.
In conclusion, negative 48 dead.
This is a net positive for the world.
Eventually his cult will figure that out.
Maybe somebody else will rise up and claim the mantle of Dramatria peddling bullshit monger.
Oh yeah!
and take over the cult.
But until that happens, hopefully, when everyone else figures out that Pop-Pop ain't coming
back anymore and neither is either Kennedy,
they can finally dissipate and go back to their families and loved ones who miss them a lot.
Concluding our boosh for the week is the fact that we have the Republican whistleblower, who
we're meeting tonight.
Oh, yeah.
Holy shit.
Yeah, I love it.
But I love it when I hit Sarge of News, and he's like, oh, man,
I remember that news.
That was in G. I just saw about this last night, the actual reveal.
I'm sorry, please, please get to the reveal of the Republican whistleblower and what he actually is.
Yeah, so the Republican whistleblower, who is, it turns out that this guy who was going to just absolutely like just crush Hunter Biden and Joe Biden and expose all their corruption with China and all that good stuff.
It turns out this guy is actually an Israeli spy who's working for the Chinese.
He's a literal Chinese spy!
Yep, literal triple agent dude.
Gahl Luft is his name, and he's been working for China, and he was indicted, he's been indicted for his crimes as a Chinese agent working against the interests of America.
And BTW, this indictment was put, it was, the sealed indictment was filed months and months ago.
So this is not the Biden DOJ lashing out and striking back against a whistleblower who's trying to tell the truth about what's going on.
The most impeachable witness ever.
A literal Chinese agent indicted on multiple counts of espionage.
Not by the previous administration, but with no involvement from Biden.
Oh my God, I was cackling when, God help me, I learned this from a TikTok, but they were breaking it down and I was just crying.
I was like, oh my God, the fucking L's these people keep taking just for no reason.
They're like, we can't find our whistleblower because it was running from US counterintelligence agents!
Yeah, so Reps Goldman and Raskins have sent a letter to Comer, the guy who's in charge of these quote-unquote investigations, and they're asking him if the Oversight Committee was duped by a Chinese agent, or if they were willfully working hand-in-hand with a Chinese agent to try to smear the American government.
So, yeah.
Great job, Republicans.
Great job, QAnon, for being like, oh, these whistleblowers are going to bring this rotten house of cards tumbling to the ground.
So, yeah, it is just win, win, win in every possible way.
And oh, my God, look at that adorable Sphinx cat who's glaring at us menacingly now.
This is Sarge's- He's perfect.
Yeah, this is Sarge's Sphinx cat.
He's never done anything wrong, ever.
No.
Deadpan voice Sarge explaining that his cat has never done anything to her is exactly how every cat owner feels about their cat.
So, yes.
Yeah, no, I mean, the Republicans in this is just like Sideshow Bob walking in the parking lot full of rakes.
And it's just like, what are you guys doing?
Like it's, yeah, it's just rake after rake after rake.
It's ridiculous.
It's absolutely the most like cartoonish stupidity these people could ever imagine.
I just, oh my God.
And the thing that's like so funny about it is, is that the people that support these Republicans, this is just going to be water under the bridge.
They're just going to forget about this in a week and they're going to be on to the next bullshit crypt.
It's just, oh my God.
The cat has interrupted the stream, and by interrupted, I mean made adorable.
Oh my God!
He's looking into my soul.
Theory of the mind here, folks, Hayley is just fangirling over a Sphinx cat.
It's my favorite kind of cat.
I've never had one.
He feels like velvet.
When I become a trillionaire and can afford a dummy animal that I really should not have, I want to get one of those Maltese dogs, one of those pure white dogs with the incredibly long fur.
And when they're in the dog shows, you can't even see their legs.
They look like little tanks just treading themselves around.
I just love those dogs.
I don't know why, but they're always my favorite dogs at the dog shows.
I'm a big fan of Bulldogs, you know, Boston Terriers, just wrinkly little goofs.
Hey, cutie.
OK, sorry.
Sorry.
Listeners.
Yes.
So take us into the news, Mike.
Oh, yeah.
We're going to go to the news because I know that the news will actually focus up Haley and make her a powerful podcasting co-host.
From the digital headlines to the digital front lines, it's Cues in the News.
So, our news this week is the fucking movie.
It's the fucking movie.
Sound of Freedom, the biggest bunch of bullshit that has ever arrived on your cinemas.
This is a dumb film that is really bad.
It's bad in a lot of ways.
The main way that it's bad is that it's a Trojan horse that is trying to pretend like right-wing people actually care about child trafficking and don't just use it as a political cudgel to call their enemies pederasts and other bullshit.
The movie I we will get into the actual like kind of movie and its problems and if I am able to ever get around to editing and slicing and dicing up the way too long review me and Haley did release that at some ill-defined point in the near future, but The main thing you need to know about this film is the quote-unquote based on a true story thing.
It's hilarious that this is one of Hollywood's biggest lies.
It's one of the ways that people who make a film try to give the film gravitas it's not worthy of.
And so when people are like, oh but this movie's based on a true story, how can you knock it?
This is what really happened.
It's not.
And the through line of the movie is that... Hold on, let's start at the top.
Who made this movie and why?
For our listeners.
I do not know the original group that produced this film, but Jim Caviezel, the crazy man who is now fully QAnon-pilled.
Jesus.
Yes, Jesus from The Last Temptation of Christ, the Mel Gibson film.
No, The Last Temptation of Christ is the good one that he did passionately Christ.
Jesus beatings.
Yeah, Jesus beating the movie.
It was like Saw, Jesus version.
Yeah, we'll try and contextualize this for a second.
This is the anti Child trafficking, and I say, and I'm doing everything here in big air quotes, swish swish, giant air quotes, anti-child trafficking movie based on a true story by this group of grifter shitbags and who they, to try and like really
Bumped their numbers on their July 4th opening, gave out, you probably saw advertisements for it, especially on Twitter.
On everything.
They were giving out free tickets because they really wanted to pack the theaters and it did do for, I'm going to call it an independent release, a non-studio release, it did very well on its July 4th opening day.
It made 12 million.
12 or 13 million.
It beat Indiana Jones on its opening day on Indiana Jones start of its second week.
Oh, they had their memes of Indie Movie beats Indie Movie.
That was one of their things.
Yeah, so that's the context.
They've been trying to gild the lily quite a bit on this.
And for an indie movie, it's done decent.
I don't know what its budget was, but I have to assume, I think it's made like A little over 30 million at this point.
Oh, it's absolutely turn to profit.
And it also because it's becoming a cultural touchstone.
They're absolutely going to do more of these movies.
It's not even possible.
There's at least going to be four, a four part documentary, quote unquote, documentary series, like accompanying it.
Now, the big thing is, The movie has the emotional hook of the movie is that there are a couple of trafficked children, a brother and a sister, who are abducted by a evil child trafficking woman.
And the important thing here is that the movie Has the brother get rescued by Tim Ballard, our hero in the film, played by Jesus.
Bad Jesus.
Yes, by Bad Jesus.
The scene that gets the ball rolling, the scene that leads to all the main action in the film, is a traffic stop on the border between Mexico and America.
So, Hayley, do you want to talk about this traffic stop, or do you want me to handle this one?
I can do it.
I have my notes from the one we bitched for two hours.
I just heard Tyler's podcast talk about this movie.
Oh god, I wanted nothing to do with it.
You didn't have to watch it, so that's good at least.
So the little boy's name in the movie is named Miguel.
He's based off of a real He's based off of a real person who is named Pedro.
That's his like, you know, anonymous name in the court documents because he was a victim of child sex trafficking.
That's a lot of these characters is like Tim Ballard takes these real stories and like kind of takes them for himself and then embellishes them a lot and then makes himself the hero of these stories of where he saved kids.
He's the leader of OAR.
Do I have that right?
Operation Underground Railroad.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's the founder.
Oh, you are.
Yeah.
And he's been roundly debunked about a million times over.
I know I learned today in my brief research on this that one of his big claims to fame is that he helped this girl
get out of her being trafficked here to America.
But Liliana.
That story is, like, beyond disgusting.
Yeah.
She freed herself and then he co-opted her story after meeting her years later.
And then he sold Valentine's Day cards as if she was still a child.
He sold these, like, really childlike Valentine's Day cards for $5.99 through Operation Underground Railroad.
That was like this is one of the people re-rescued it's Liliana's art and it made it look like she was like an infant like making like a Valentine's Day card so they were like profiting off her story also in that way.
Yeah.
I also wanted to make clear that this child was actually not the victim of trafficking, because Pedro was not trafficked, as Haley will now explain.
Because you said that, and I wanted to make sure that people don't get the wrong idea about this.
Right.
Yeah, so Pedro, Miguel in the movie, so in the movie it's this really dramatic scene where like They're crossing the port of entry between US and Mexico and like Tim Ballard has this big operation where he like rescues the kid, the kid jumps in his arm, gives him the necklace, like go save my sister, plot of movie.
None of that happened.
Tim Ballard technically was a federal agent at the time because he does appear in the reports for Pedro slash McGill's case.
But he was not, it wasn't like the big story in the movie.
Pedro wasn't a victim of trafficking in this elaborate scheme.
He was just groomed by a family friend who had known him since birth and abused him since birth.
Fuckers.
And he was just traveling with the kid.
What's up?
W. Cannon was the name of the man who did this.
And he's a character in the movie.
They change his last name in the movie.
It's like Earl Buckman or something like that.
In the movie, they make it very clear that Earl is part of a pedophile network and that he obtained this child from the pedophile network when, again, he did no such thing.
This was just a family friend who was doing this, which is...
The main way these pedophiles get their victims, they either befriend a family with young children, or they become a part of a community where they are entrusted with young children.
Like, I don't know, the Catholic Church, and shit like that.
So... Some place where they can gain access to the children in a, quotation marks, natural way.
Yes, and not some sort of massive international ring where pederasts are handing off kids to be moved thousands of miles overseas.
At one point, the kids are in like a shipping container on a cargo boat, and it's like, God, really, guys?
This is a bit much.
So in real life, Ballard is not on site for the arrest until like I think 45 minutes later.
They don't call in the feds for a while because it's just border agents who catch this guy.
So explain the rest of that.
Yeah, so when the... It's just a routine traffic stop.
Again, it was a family friend, so they were going to Mexico to go... The family knew he was, like, traveling with Buchanan.
And they were going to Mexico to see his father, because obviously their families were separated by the border.
Right. So he's take he's allegedly the story he's telling his family is he's like taking the kid across the border to
go see his dad when in reality he was abusing the kid.
So he didn't have the proper documentation to bring the character of Miguel across the port of entry.
So they have to do like this secondary search of your vehicle to make sure you're not smuggling drugs and stuff.
And when they review, they're looking at the video camera, the camcorder that he, the guy has in his car to see if it's
like a fake a dummy camera hiding drugs.
And they play it and it's literally the kid being abused.
So they detain him, get ahold of the family and say like, we're detaining this guy and like your child, you know, they explain the whole situation.
The sister is not a character in any of this.
She's at home chilling.
And they know that the boy was with Buchanan crossing the US-Mexico border.
And yeah, then the tapes are taken in for processing and Tim Ballard's kind of role when he was working in this division seemed to be like reviewing those tapes and that's where he steps in.
um so he didn't have anything to do with like this big elaborate arrest slash mission to get this kid saved and in the movie like after they save him within this like big elaborate mission at the port of entry like the kid just like jumps in his arms and like gives him the necklace and everything and Tim Ballard kind of tells a similar story in real life. Yeah. Ballard loves telling people that the
kid jumped into his arms and said, I don't belong here in perfect English, which is super
weird because the kid was in the movie.
The kid was from like Columbia or Honduras. And in, I think in reality he was, they're American.
They make all the American characters from Latin America, obviously, because they're trying to... Ballard likes to sell a narrative that, like, we need to stop trafficking to shut down the border.
Because that fake Liliana story, he, like, gave her fake quotes when he was telling her story, saying, like, we need a border wall.
It would have saved girls like me.
Yeah.
You know?
He campaigned a lot for the border wall and used lies.
This is much as I do know.
He used the lies from this girl's story that he co-opted to campaign for the border wall.
Yeah.
And one of the things he loves talking about is how that section of the border where Buchanan crossed and got caught, he likes to claim that there was some wall there and that forced Buchanan to make the decision to cross via a port of entry and not try to just go across the border in an unregulated area.
And that's how he got caught, because this port of entry had high-tech security and a crack team of agents looking everybody in the eye.
And it's like, no, he got caught because he forgot to bring the kid's birth certificate with him.
When they grabbed him and brought him when they grabbed him, they were like, well, you don't have the proper paperwork for this kid.
So now we got to look around your car.
Oh, my God, you have a tape of you assaulting this child.
Boom.
So he did not get arrested by a crack operation, as the movie indicates, or because of a wall, as Ballard likes to say in real life.
He got arrested in a happenstance.
He fucked up and put himself in a position to have Cops poke around and then they found some shit on him and this isn't in the movie, but I just wanted to bring this up is Probably have to put like this a link to this in the show notes about how
Ballard, after the fact, after Buchanan was arrested, his property was searched.
And Ballard and Glenn Beck, because Glenn Beck was one of the original funders of Operation Underground Railroad.
This is all around right-wing grift.
They like to present this search warrant that was done on these properties that Buchanan owned as a raid.
They like to pretend that, like, Federals were kicking down doors and freeing children and they grabbed Buchanan and shoved him face down and cuffed him and stuffed him.
And it was none of these things.
It was a property that no one was in.
It was just a lawful search warrant being executed.
And they found more evidence of crimes with the warrant.
So Buchanan went to jail for a long time and now he's out of jail.
He's very old and he's a registered sex offender.
And that's the kind of unsatisfying but true ending of the story.
I mean, that's actually what happened in this situation was just a guy who wasn't a part of an international child trafficking ring was just was just grooming and abusing a child.
Fucked up when he was around law enforcement, got caught and went to jail for a long time.
And that's it.
That was that's the actual story of Pedro slash Earl Buchanan.
That's the actual true story of what happened there.
But you can't sell replicas of the coin that he gave you to go save his sister.
You know, if you tell that story.
Yeah.
Now, so the whole based on a true story thing is bullshit.
That is all nonsense.
Now, the one other thing I really wanted to bring up about this movie, because art is subjective.
If you liked the movie, I can't tell you that you're wrong.
I can't say that you're a bad person for liking this film.
I can.
You are.
Okay, that's fine.
It's a bad movie.
I haven't even seen it.
I think a lot of people will like it.
I haven't even seen it.
I can tell you, this is a bad fucking movie.
You are a bad person if you like it.
I am probably going to do like a 75 tweet thread about the movie and why I don't like it because I'm just a kind of sicko that way.
But the one thing that I would say about the movie is that it has very little action in it.
It is an incredibly dull, incredibly serious film.
One thing I can say about it is it's incredibly dull.
It is.
I'm sure it is.
But it's very boring for long periods of time.
And then they're like, OK, we're going to do two minutes of we're going to tell a bunch of stuff in two minutes really quick, you know?
So typically when people say the one thing I can say about this movie, it's not followed with, it's incredibly dull and there's very little action.
Sell it, Mike, sell it!
I'm just telling you.
I mean, you know, you're bang on and I'm loving it.
It's really... The movie has that problem.
The other big problem with the movie is that it feels like somebody took an axe to the movie an hour and 45 minutes into the movie.
How long is it?
What's the runtime?
Two hours.
Two fifteen.
But the problem with the movie... The problem with the movie is...
You, when you are making a movie and you are establishing a villain, when you are establishing the big bad, that villain is established early on in the movie.
Like, I don't know, say in The Terminator, you have naked Arnold Schwarzenegger brutally murdering people left and right to start the movie, and people get the hint, oh shit, this guy's fucking, this is big time.
Or the opening scene of The Dark Knight.
It's the Joker robbing a bank, and he's doing Joker shit.
You establish the main villain.
Right away in order to get people to understand that this is who we're caring about.
This is our antagonist.
This is the person we should not like.
And this movie does a very good job of establishing the antagonist because Giselle in the movie who I like to call evil Rihanna because that's what she looks like.
She is very striking.
She's dressed in a way to make her very visually appealing.
She's also based on a real person.
She's based on a real person who was a beauty pageant contestant.
Swish, swish.
So this character is designed to stand out and is designed to draw the audience's ire.
You are supposed to be very angry at her.
She's introduced in the first 10 seconds.
Yeah, and you know she's bad news from the jump.
You're just like, oh shit, this is a bad woman who's bad news, who's going to do bad things to these kids.
I can't wait to see this bitch get her comeuppance.
That's just the way this audience is going to see this character, and that's what's going to happen.
Now, sorry if anyone was... I'm sorry we didn't give you a spoiler warning ahead of time, but anyways.
Don't say it.
Just pirate it.
Do not watch this movie.
Yeah, so anyways.
So, the thing is, is that I knew the runtime of this movie, and I'm watching the big payoff of what appears to be the finale of the movie, and I'm looking at my phone, and I'm like, we're only an hour 45 in.
What is going on here?
Where are we going to get another half hour or so of movie?
Now, again, the big problem with this movie is that there's no tension, there's no action.
The good guys have established their fake Epstein Island and they're about to free all these children and arrest all the bad guys.
And there is no tension that this plot is ever going to backfire or fail or anything could possibly go wrong.
Basically, the movie wants to make sure that all of your emotional angst and anger and concern is dedicated only to the plight of the children.
It's literally, the tension lies, this is my biggest gripe with the movie, the tension lies Is this character going to fuck this child or not and am I gonna have to see it on screen?
That's like where the tension lies and I find that to be repulsive.
Especially when they keep saying like it's tastefully done.
Like it's really fucking not.
I really don't need to see two minute long prolonged scenes of a guy like unbuckling his fucking belt and like throwing a kid on the bed.
She's crying and it's like is he gonna fuck the kid or is Jim Beasle gonna save him?
And it's like this is not tension.
That I find to be good.
No, it's just it's just it's just gross.
Yeah, it's just an ugly, exploitive bullshit thing where that's it.
Like the only the only thing that we are supposed to be upset about in the entire movie is that a kid might be assaulted before our very eyes or that then they're going to cut it off screen.
But we're going to know what happened and just feel anger at the at the abuser.
And that's it.
And it's really that's it, because that's and that's the only thing we're allowed to have emotional concern about, because The rest of the film...
Whenever you have a moment's doubt, whenever it appears that Jim Caviezel isn't going to win, the movie puts a bow on that shit real quick and reassures you, oh no, he's winning.
Because when they start the Epstein Island thing, they need some millionaire crazy guy who helps law enforcement fund the fake Epstein Island.
And Jim Caviezel meets that guy.
They talk for like five minutes.
And then the guy's like, bro, I can't do this.
And he walks away.
And then like a minute later, he gets a photograph of the traffic God's children are not for sale.
God's children are not for sale.
God's children are not for sale, yes.
Thumb out of kids can go fuck.
I was like, I'll fund your mission.
We have to save the children.
Like there's no tension.
God's children are not for sale.
Yes, I told her.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Dumbheaded kids can go fuck.
Yeah.
So, so they do all that nonsense.
But the other thing, there's just no tension.
So in this scene, basically what's going to happen is the moment the children arrive on shore, I guess the Colombian government's police are going to run in and arrest all the traffickers and free all the kids.
And that's just it.
And we know this is going to happen.
And at no point are we at all worried that the plane isn't going to go off flawlessly and that the kids are not going to be saved.
And then it happens.
And right before it happens, Jim Caviezel goes up to some Colombian cop and says, Hey, this guy, this piece of shit trafficker, I want you to kind of frame him up.
Like when we're all getting cuffed and stuffed by you guys, I want you to take him to a separate beach and line a side of us and don't have him in cuffs.
Just make it look like you're talking to him.
Like he's your bro.
And the cop's like, I got it.
I got it, bro. We're good. We're good.
I got it.
And then when the big raid happens, Giselle, evil Rihanna, throws herself on the ground
screaming, I'm a victim.
She gets cuffed.
And then they're in the boat and she's just like, what's going on?
What the fuck happened?
And Caviezel's like, I think maybe your boy dimed you out, and they show a quick scene of the trafficker they wanted to implicate as being the snitch.
They show him talking to the cops, and then everyone goes away, the screen fades to black, and that entire plot line melts away.
Done.
No more Giselle.
You never see her again.
Giselle's gone.
Our main antagonist of the movie is now swept away.
New movie.
New movie.
It is a new movie from the last 30 or 40 minutes of the movie is just a different movie than the first half of the movie.
The guy they tried to pin as the snitch, never seen again.
One of the traffickers literally just gives us some exposition to get us into the new movie.
And then he's gone for forever.
We get a new villain.
We get a new villain.
In the last 30 minutes of the movie, we get a new Big Bad, just thrown, dropped from the heavens.
No backstory, no build-up, nothing.
This movie sounds amazing.
Yeah, it's just wimmo.
You just get a whole new story with a whole new cast of characters.
The only people that were from the original movie that I can remember are Jim Caviezel and his accidental pedophile friend, who is a good guy.
Oh, we got to talk about that for this episode, too.
Yes, yes.
You got to know about this, Sarge.
This is our podcast.
We need to talk about, we need to talk about Kevin.
Only in this case, Kevin's name is Vampiro.
So yes, tell us the story of Vampiro, the accidental pedophile, but it's cool.
It's cool.
It's good.
Also, apparently also based on a real fucking person, which is like, so we're going to arrest that guy.
We're going to arrest that pedophile.
Sorry.
The one quick thing I wanted to say was that in real life, apparently that guy's call sign was Batman.
Yeah.
It was way, way too big a name to put in this movie.
So they had to call him Vampiro instead.
And you can't make Batman the accidental pedophile character.
Yeah, probably not.
So, enough lead-in.
Explain why he's the exon and the pedophile.
Yeah, so when Jim Caviezel is getting the band together and making a group of people to make the fake Epstein Island, he meets with this cool guy.
He's supposed to be the one funny character in the movie, the guy that cracks the two jokes in the movie.
Um, sure.
And he wears like, you know, Hawaiian shirts and funny hats.
So, you know, he's the fun guy.
Um, his story is that he, uh, used to, you know, he used to be into hookers and blow.
And one night he, uh, he accidentally slept with a 14 year old and he didn't realize it until after he was done raping her.
And, um, So he put the gun to his head and he's like I'm gonna do it and it didn't go off so he's like now it's my journey to hunt people who do this but because they want to.
Like he bought like a child.
Yeah.
And he's supposed to be the he's supposed to be one of the good guys in the movie.
He's sorry for it so our Jesus figure is best friends with him now.
I'm sorry so it doesn't count.
In the movie, he explains that he thought he was picking up a 20 to 25 year old prostitute.
He's like, she wasn't 25.
She wasn't 21.
Even she was 14.
Like, whoa, bro.
No, that's a big difference.
That's a big difference.
I have a number of questions on how you could think even a 20 year old How you could ever think a 14-year-old was 21.
But, yeah, that's on you, bud.
He's the good guy.
He's the good guy number two in this movie.
Okay, let's keep that in mind, everybody.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right.
Our second biggest hero in the movie only paid for sex with a 14-year-old, and it's okay.
Just the ones that he knows of.
It maybe happened another time.
Exactly!
I wasn't keeping track of the ages of the rest of the prostitutes I had sex with in this third world country, where that kind of shit is unbelievably skeevy, but hey!
And this is, again, one of these things in this movie that, if the movie wanted to have depth or an interesting dialogue about things, The Caviezel character could be conflicted about working with this guy, or this guy could potentially have shades of grey, or be a little darker of a character.
But no, the movie is just literal good versus literal evil, and if you're on team good side, you're a good guy, and if you're on team bad side, you're a bad guy.
There's just no ambiguity.
They never expand on Giselle who actually has like a slightly interesting story that you can expand on like a real one that you know she was a beauty queen in real life who turned trafficker and like her beauty pages are still up like her modeling pages in real life and it's like you don't get any of this in the movie she's a blank character she says like two lines that you're like oh that's the evil lady and then she's gone Oh yeah, she just literally chews scenery.
She just comes into the room swaggering.
Beautiful.
Yeah, she's beautiful.
They're telling her to just ham it up.
She's just like, boom, I'm the alpha bad lady.
And she's just giving the children the lines.
Oh, I'm going to turn you into a famous singer, little girl.
Oh, little boy, you're so handsome.
You could be a star.
She's just literally villainous from central casting direct.
There is nothing about her that isn't just one note, as me and my friend like to say, just objective skeletor evil.
just this dumb cackling monster.
Who's just like, Ha!
Ha!
He!
Ha!
There's that.
There's this scene when like she's giving, she's telling all the kids what their names are
now that they're going to be trafficked.
Like, your name's Teddy Bear now.
And she's looking at her, putting on lipstick, looking into her little makeup mirror.
And he's like, I don't want to be called Teddy Bear!
And she's like, too bad.
Snaps the mirror thing.
It's just the most cheesy villainous... Oh yeah, comeback clothes.
That's amazing.
Probably did like, they probably did 17 takes to nail that one.
She's a professional.
She got it in one click and they're like, no notes.
Nailed it.
Ha ha ha ha.
And this is, as we were saying before, this is the movie where it's just this dumb black and white nonsense, and
then you just get a bonus movie on top of the first movie.
But it's very short.
That's very short.
The other two things about the end of the movie that are awful is a we get another implicated rape scene where the bad guy Scorpio does the whole thing where he's taking his belt off and he's about to assault this child.
And then Jim Caviezel does some sort of teleportation trick where he manages to get out from under a bed.
and gets behind this guy.
And then we get our tiniest crumb of action where Jim Caviezel and the bad guy
kind of sort of fight each other.
But the way the movie is shot, it's shot from the perspective
of the child watching the fight.
And Caviezel told her to close her eyes.
So she's like closing her eyes a bunch, then she opens them, there's a few punches thrown.
And they close the eyes for the audience.
So there's like no action.
Yeah, they literally- They couldn't afford stunt actors.
Yeah, literally.
I gotta tell you what that is.
Stunt people, either they couldn't afford them or stunt people wouldn't work with them.
That is so, that is so probably it.
Cause it was like, okay, it's such a PG-13 movie.
There's like one swear.
He says shit one time and it's like, that's like supposed to be the joke kinda.
Um, and like, it's very lacking in action.
All the, all, again, all the gratuity lies in like the children being assaulted.
Yeah.
Um, and this is the one scene it's like blow the pedophiles fucking head off.
Like use all the PG-13, Like, put it right to the R line, and go nuts!
Like, smoking that pedophile.
That's the payoff of the fucking movie!
Right!
Give us catharsis!
Let us see the pedophile get what's coming to him for his crimes, and instead it's this weird thing.
Where half the fight we don't see, and what I honestly think, what Sarge said really resonated with me, I feel like Jim Caviezel can't read lines, he also probably can't fake fight.
I bet they probably did like 70 takes of Caviezel and Scorpio trading blows, and they were just like, oh god, this looks so fucking bad!
Oh my god, this sucks.
How do we edit this fight together to make it work?
And then they were like, wait, wait, I know what we do.
We have Caviezel tell the little girl to close her eyes, and then we just edit the fight scene, and we just have the fight scene black out a little bit, and we put in some foldy work when the eyes are closed to indicate that punches are being thrown, and we work it out.
And so the the terrible fight happens and Scorpio is somehow killed.
He's dead.
Although, again, we really don't understand.
This is like a gang cartel member in like rebel territory.
And he died like boom.
Yes.
Him and Jim Caviezel fight for- I mean, Caviezel's character, he probably lifts, bro, but Tim Ballard, from all accounts, Tim Ballard was just an office worker in a fucking, like, law enforcement thing.
It's not like he was training Krav Maga and was this, like, 10th degree death belt or something.
But he just killed Scorpio, which by the way, Operation Underground Railroad has posted on their website.
This is not true.
Tim Ballard has never killed anybody.
They also say on the website that like a lot of like this is not an accurate portrayal of Child sex trafficking so everybody that like fucking comes
at us like how dare you not Fucking love everything about this movie like the literal
operation underground railroad website Says like this is not an accurate portrayal every time Tim
Ballard also gets a little bit too like wayfairy They have to put out a statement like we do not support his
wayfair comments Please don't sue us wayfair. Yeah
yeah, I Someone was yelling at me about this stuff, and I said you
should instead of I don't know buying a ticket for this terrible movie
Peace.
Give that money to a real anti-trafficking organization like Love146.org or Polaris Project.
That doesn't spread awareness.
No, yeah.
Spread awareness.
Get fucked.
That is the most ridiculous cop-out terminology I can... Spread awareness.
That's why the Susan Coleman Foundation, which is the biggest scam in the world, they're like, we're spreading awareness about breast cancer.
It's like, pretty sure people know about breast cancer.
Don't think we need any more awareness about breast cancer.
When I was like a teenager, there was like this, like, put a cartoon character as your profile picture to spread awareness about child trafficking.
It's like, what the fuck does that even mean?
Yeah, what does that accomplish?
Exactly.
It's like the black square stuff.
Also, like, change your profile to a black square.
This is like the conservatives black square moment.
If you do any of those things and don't give people any context or anything on where to go or how to help, it doesn't do anything.
Spreading awareness does shit without giving people a path to actually do something.
Literally, you don't have to watch the movie.
Just watch the last three minutes when the credits play to see how they want you to spread awareness.
What Haley's talking about is after the movie ends, in the bottom right-hand corner of the screen, a quote-unquote timer starts running saying special message.
And when the special message plays, Jim Caviezel talks to you about how important this film is, and he wants you to pull out your phone and scan a QR code.
And if you can possibly buy a ticket for someone else to watch this movie and pay it forward, that's what he wants you to do.
They want you to put your money into the movie.
Yeah.
Invest in the movie to help with child trafficking.
Don't give your money directly to an anti-child trafficking organization.
No, make the movie bigger.
Give more money to Angel Studios and Jim Caviezel.
That is how you spread awareness for this shit.
Caviezel gets so manipulative.
His first sentence is so manipulative.
Like he's like, I'm sure you're feeling really sad and helpless right now.
Like after watching the movie and it's like, yeah, it was kind of a hard watch, bud.
And he's like, so give me money.
Exactly.
And so after he kills Scorpio off camera, sort of, kind of, then we have this quick little moment where he grabs the girl and runs away.
Now, the best part about this is, is that when he finds the girl, there are numerous other children and people that are like crushing coca leaves and helping commit crimes for this.
There's lots of trafficked children in this scene besides the girl.
Yeah, so he's basically in this compound of trafficked children who are being forced to help with the illicit drug trade and all that good stuff.
But when Caviezel saves the girl, he just runs away with her.
All the rest of those kids go to hell.
They're not God's children.
They're for sale.
Those children are, I don't know, they're some other deities.
Zeus's children are for sale.
Sorry.
That's what that is.
So yeah, it is just, basically Kviesel is a World of Warcraft player who found the named NPC and is running away with them, and all the other unnamed NPCs are left to toil in the death mines for their cocaine overlord, and that's just the way this works.
And then when they get away, the bad guys fire like a series of gunshots at their van.
But like 10 seconds later, Graviesel is asked, like, is everyone OK?
And they're like, yes.
And then you're like, oh, man, this movie had like 30 seconds of drama.
I was so worried.
It was 30 seconds of drama where the drama wasn't, is this child about to be raped in front of me?
And that is just, oh man, that's just way too tense.
We can't be having that on our screens.
Let's bring it down.
Let's bring the energy down.
Let's bring the energy down, let everybody cool off.
That is this movie.
This movie is a lot of making sure that your heart rate remains low and that you're just kind of sad.
No jokes, no drama, just a really dark subject matter.
Treated with just a really somber amount of crippling seriousness and nothing.
You know, some people would think that movies are a form of escapism.
Not this film.
This film is like, child trafficking is bad and you should feel bad.
You know what my form of escapism is?
Our mailbag.
Damn, segue.
I'm going to play the mailbag, then I'm going to do one more thing about this movie, because I have to look up the mailbag on my phone.
Our listeners got questions, we got answers.
It's time for Q&A.
The one last thing I was going to bring up is that today I saw a clip that our friend of the podcast, Travis View, and QAnon debunker extraordinaire, Where Jim Caviezel literally said, and I quote, it's not QAnon, it's Q and Anons, which is basically the direct edict message from Q in QDROP 4881, where Q was just like, yo guys, QAnon has a negative condensation to it, so let's stop calling ourselves that.
They're starting to rebrand.
Yeah, we are rebranding now, bros.
So every now and then when I talk about QAnon, some idiot will jump in my replies and be like, ah, QAnon, that doesn't exist, lol.
And it's just like, oh, my God, Jim Caviezel is now so fucking pilled.
He's doing the quote unquote, there's no such thing as QAnon bullshit.
He was promoting the movie with like a lot of adrenochrome talk, too.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, God.
Yeah.
Organ harvesting and adrenochrome were like his two big things going into the movie.
And the movie was made so long ago, none of those things made it in.
So that was, uh, it was, it was annoying to me cause I just wanted, I wanted all their mental illness on the screen for the world to see.
I really wanted it.
I wanted an adrenochrome scene so fucking bad.
Oh, I was, I was just, I was so depressed when like people, cause I saw it like the second day it came out and I saw people posting stuff online.
I saw one QAnon supporter saying quote, missed opportunity, no adrenochrome.
They were like, man, we could have killed so many people if Scorpio had stuck a fucking straw in some kid's neck and sucked out the peer-abused blood.
I would be more interested in that movie.
Yes.
There's no reason to watch it.
No, no.
It's incredibly boring and terrible, and you should only watch it if you're going to do, like, not-so-content creation like me and Hayley did.
So, yeah.
Fuck the film.
Anyways, Pancake Peasant says, uh, who would you cast to play you in an Adventures in Hellworld media franchise in the format of your choosing?
The three of you have complete joint creative control, so... Michelle Rodriguez.
Nice.
Nice.
Um.
Oh, just just to be like way out there.
Ridiculous.
Jon Snow.
Or Kit Harington.
Yeah, Kit Harington.
I'm sure Michelle Rodriguez has done some problematic things because I know she got into a DUI back in her last days.
Don't tell me about it.
I disavow everything bad she's ever done, but I do be liking Michelle Rodriguez.
And she's kind of got like a manly, not manly, you know, like a deep voice, like me, kind of.
And she's also, you know, Latina.
Fast and the Furious.
Before this week, I might have said Jonah Hill.
Yeah, you got you got some problems with your masculinity.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I I I've had people say that.
Oh, God, I forget.
You look like Robert Baratheon.
Yeah, that's the beard.
Bobby Baratheon.
I'm okay with that.
People said I look like Peter Griffin, which I also accept.
That's fine.
You look like someone, Sarge.
I could do it.
It's a beautiful.
You look like someone Sarge.
Like I could do it.
I can do it.
No, you can't.
Surge is impossible to pigeonhole.
You can't typecast Surge.
Okay, I won't.
I've been told... A young Willem Dafoe?
Who's the... If he grew a beard?
No, the one comedian from The Hangover.
I've gotten that a lot.
Galifinakis?
Yeah.
Oh, that's pretty good.
I've gotten Galifinakis.
I personally don't see it.
Oh no, now I can't unsee it.
I was like, I personally don't see it, but here we are.
Yeah.
Just because I don't look anything like him, really, but just because I've been watching clips of Buster Scruggs.
Tim Blake Nelson just makes me laugh in that role, and I've never seen him in anything else.
So I just want Buster Scruggs to play me, because that character is insane, if you've ever seen that film.
He's just a psychopath, Looney Tunes, quick-draw artist.
It's really funny.
It's very bizarre.
Nice.
Um, but yeah, uh, I don't know.
My other, my other thing that I would want to be was we had, me, Sarge and Al had a long talk about if we ever got a VTuber rig that we would, what we would do with like our VTuber avatars.
And I want to be a water bear wearing a bow tie.
That's my, that's my goal.
I want to be a tardigrade with a bow tie on and just people would be like, what the fuck?
I'm like, Hey, that's, that's my thing.
Cause.
After that, oh god, I can't remember his fucking name.
Now I'm not going to try to remember his name because he's a piece of shit, but the guy that some lunatics thought was Q, so the guy who did the HBO series, talked to him, and then he's like, he didn't want to be on tape, he didn't want to be on video, so here's the CGI cicada of that guy.
And I was just like, why?
Why would you give that guy that?
Like fucking Jesus Christ.
Like Jim and Ron Watkins are just like, here I am walking around half naked and stupid because they just don't know how to play the media game.
But then Cullen Holbeck like talks to this other guy who might be cute and that guy's like, make me a CGI cicada.
And Holbeck's like, you got it, sir!
Whatever it takes to get you in the movie!
It's just like, man, way to not fucking, like, set your parameters, Jim and Ron.
You could have been CGI-ed like, uh, Rei Ayanami or whatever, and you just worked a little harder on it.
Oh my god.
So yeah, um, that was, I just, I, that kind of stuff is interesting to me.
I don't know, I don't know whether I think a lot about that sort of stuff in media, but I mean, obviously some people do because they end up being CGI cicadas.
So congratulations to that guy for achieving his dream.
Cleodora Selvestri says, if you were to invent a new cryptid to fool tourists into spending money in your town, what creature would you make up and how would you sell it to gullible visitors?
Walking Saguaro.
You have to find it in all the seas of Saguaro here.
It moves.
That's about it.
That's a good one.
Patrick Mahomes.
It's just Patrick Mahomes just actually walking around Kansas City.
Oh, they caught Chiefsaholic.
They did.
I forgot all about that, Cloud, that we had this bank robbing Chiefs fan.
And they actually caught him up in Oklahoma?
I don't- I just saw a bunch of, like, clips of- I just saw a bunch of, like, headlines on Twitter about the Chiefsaholics been caught.
If you didn't know about this guy, Haley, this guy literally was robbing banks in Chiefs paraphernalia.
Like, he was- Oh, what?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And apparently he was using the money to fund his, like, Chiefs addiction, so- Wow.
You know?
Yeah.
That's- that's a sports guy.
That is a man who has his priorities in the right place.
Pick a different team, though.
Come on.
Change the mask out, man.
No, uh...
But, uh, yeah.
I don't know that my town is worthy of a cryptid, but I do think that it would be very easy
to create a Salem-based cryptid to lure people into Salem, because Salem is already America's
greatest tourist trap.
So yeah, conjuring like a Salem werewolf or some other sort of bizarre Salem based cryptid that does stuff would probably be very easy.
And you could literally... You're the cryptid.
Thank you.
Thank you, former President Trump, for your trenchant commentary on the cryptids.
Because there are so many tourist guide things where you can sign up for a tour at like seven at night and some guy with a headset on will walk you around Salem and talk about witches or ghosts or whatever.
You could absolutely start a new tour based off of your fake cryptid that you created.
and talk about people that had seen the cryptid and this kind of stuff and you you could set it up that at some point in your little tour like someone pretending to be the cryptid who's like four blocks away would like run across the street and get out of line of sight real fast you're like oh shit oh shit there it was there it was the Salem salamander it just it just vanished holy smokes Oh, man.
Hard to get, like Dark Souls, you know?
Yeah, yeah.
And just get a couple of tourists to take videos of that shit, get it to go viral on the internet.
Oh, man.
Easy peasy, lemon squeezy.
We'd be making money fucking all day, all night.
That should be your retirement job, just grifting people.
I have a similar job.
I want to retire on Route 66 and just have like a tourist trap.
Yes!
That's what it's all about.
That's what it's all about.
Oh, man.
Nice.
So that's our tiny mailbag for the week, which is why we went real long on the movie.
So that brings us to our last question, which is, what are you guys looking forward to?
Oh, geez.
What am I looking forward to?
This is always tough when I don't prepare beforehand.
Barbie movie.
If it's good, I hope it's good.
Barbenheimer.
Barbenheimer.
Yeah, I'm looking forward to it.
I'm going camping this upcoming weekend.
I haven't been camping at all this year, so I'm looking forward to that.
That is cool.
This Saturday I get to go see Garbage in Boston.
I also get to go home early because I found out that this weird dual billing they're doing with Noel Gallagher and Noel Gallagher's band known as Not Oasis.
It's actually Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds.
Uh, apparently garbage had been headlining for the first X number of shows, but now they've
flipped.
So now Noel headlines it after garbage.
So I get to go in and watch the opening act, watch garbage and then be like, peace out.
Noel Gallagher could not give two fucks about you.
See you later.
So I will be the traffic.
Yes.
I will be hashtag beating the traffic because, uh, yeah.
And I've also heard that the crowd for Noel is kind of dumb, weird, and annoying, because they do stuff like yell Wonderwall at him, and he's just playing his own shit.
He's not doing any Oasis stuff, because he hates his brother, and he probably hates being associated with Oasis at this point.
So it's just this weird thing where Noel's like, hey everybody!
Remember me from Oasis?
Now I'm gonna play my own stuff!
And the crowd's just like, no!
Not that!
We don't want that stuff!
You need to mix in some of that other stuff.
Mix in the stuff we actually know!
The one song.
Just do the one song.
Yeah, do that song.
Do it like three or four times in a row.
Which is kind of like one of the good things about Garbage is that it's the same lineup from like a million years ago.
There's no, they don't have any animosity towards any of their songs.
They will just play them for you and you can hear the songs you want to hear and then leave.
So yes.
So that is something I am looking forward to.
And boom.
So that will lead us to, I don't know, being grabbed by the hand by Tim Ballard.
But he's only leading Hayley out of Hellworld.
Mike and Sarge are trapped.
We must stay behind and crush coca leaves for the new person who's taken over after Scorpio was killed by Tim Ballard.
Because we're not the named NPC like Hayley was.
So she gets to live.
There's no marker over your head.
No, Haley is God's child.
Me and Sarge, not so fucking much.
We kind of suck.
So while we're crushing our cocoa leaves and serving our drug trafficking overlord, we will thank DJ Minimal Effort for our music.
No social media for him ever, nor will it ever be.
However, if you want to talk to the guy who does all of our bumps and is the voice of Q if Q ever returns, which he won't, you can go to FrostyVO on Twitter and talk to him.
Haley is ArizonaRightWingWatch on Twitter.
She also has a Substack and all kinds of other good stuff.
You can go to those places and give her money.
That'd be great.
Sarge is SargeatSargenHell on Twitter.
And I am at PokerPolitics.
If you want to give us money, go to Patreon.com slash PokerPolitics, and for $5 or more, you can get access to our bonus content.
Me and Stephanie, the other 9-11 truther, are currently going over a loose change.
We promise to have a new episode out about that terrible sack of shit 9-11 quote-unquote documentary soon.
We also have piles and piles of bonus content going over all kinds of other QAnon-related nonsense.
If you don't want to give us ChuckleFucks money, and God knows there's no reason why you wouldn't want to, give your money to Love146.org, an actual anti-human trafficking organization.
They're not Operation Underground Railroad, which is a right-wing grift.
They're not sacks of shit like QAnon.
They're good people.
Give them money and help them fight child trafficking.
So, I think that covers everything.
No, it doesn't!
I'm lying to you, because we have a new beautiful baby this week!
I asked this person for their cool shout-out name, and they froze, much like a deer in the headlights, and stated they would like their shout-out name to be Nick.
So, Nick, thank you!
Welcome to the Orphanage of Beautiful Babies, and we support you and bless you, and are very happy you decided to do that for us.
So now I've said all of that.
So thank you for another successful episode of the Uncharted World Podcast.
I am Mike Rains, signing off for Sergeant Haley.
Good speed, Patriots!
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