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June 22, 2023 - Adventures in HellwQrld

01:36:58

Adventures in HellwQrld Episode #145: RFK Jr. The Sub, Trump.

RFK Jr. wants to debate. Elon wants to be a bigot and Trump wants you to know he's committing all the crimes. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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	the next class. Thank you.
	Content Warning.
	The Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in depth about QAnon, which means we have to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people.
	Listener discretion advised.
	Hello, everybody.
	I am Mike Rains, a.k.a.
	Poker and Politics, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld.
	This week, I am joined by Sarge.
	Every week in the grim darkness of this podcast, there's only Q?
	I don't know.
	I didn't think that joke through.
	And I think you've told it before, which makes it a little worse.
	I'm also joined by the mysterious Elle.
	Hello, my beautiful baby chums!
	It is I, the Elle!
	Elle with superheroes on the brain.
	Elle does have superheroes on the brain.
	And also TikTok showed Elle a clip of that surprisingly good The Tick live action show.
	So in that moment, Elle had The Tick on the brain.
	The casting on that show was great, man.
	I never actually watched past the first season, but the first season was good.
	It was tight.
	I remember their main villain, they did a whole whiplash thing with him playing the drums.
	Just, like, stuck with me.
	Oh yeah, and he was played by, what's his face there, Jackie Earl Haley?
	Was that him?
	Yeah, Rorschach.
	Yeah.
	Well, I mean, Rorschach is also portrayed by Jackie Earl Haley.
	You don't call that man Rorschach.
	Mostly because Rorschach is somebody that nobody should aspire to be.
	Yeah.
	That is like actually insulting somebody.
	That's everybody in that movie.
	It's not a movie.
	You're a poor bum who's like a hardcore conservative.
	Modern Watchmen would be great, because Rorschach's just a maggot shud, and probably pills.
	He's probably in the QAnon at this point.
	Also, Sarge, you said everybody in that.
	They're not all bad people.
	Ozymandias is just a genius who is right.
	And murders New York.
	I mean, hey.
	Have you ever been to New York?
	I see you're an Ozymandias apologist.
	Look, I'm just saying that Ozymandias was both intellectually and morally correct to do it.
	Morally correct?
	To kill hundreds of thousands of people.
	Well, first of all, it was millions.
	It was several million.
	And second of all, I don't have a Ben Shapiro in me.
	Otherwise, I feel like this would be the perfect time to do his nasally... If you look at the data, it's morally correct to me.
	I can't do a Ben Shapiro without going full Simpsons nerd.
	That says a lot about that guy as well.
	I like that Ben Shapiro's on the Simpsons nerd gradient.
	I just like the idea that that's where... I wonder if you could do that with basically anyone.
	Just make them into a Simpsons character based on where their voice is.
	Absolutely.
	His voice has a cartoonish quality to it that helped AI nail it immediately.
	I remember like a month ago, when for like a week or two, it was funny to have the AI president say a thing.
	Well, the spearhead of that whole thing, as far as I like, as far as was floating around my circles, was that people got AI to sound like Ben Shapiro immediately.
	And then they had him getting interviewed by Joe Rogan, and then at some point people took the ball and ran with it with the presidents.
	And you know, that time has passed now.
	But for a time, it was fun to hear Ben Shapiro talk about which Pokemon was the most fuckable or whatever.
	Uh, I enjoyed that, like, two weeks where TikToks were showing up and, like, all the presidents had a Minecraft server together.
	Yeah, TikTok is starting to poison my brain.
	Like, it does make me feel like it's not helping my...
	Like, you know, ADD adjacent, like, you know, focus problems where it's just like, you know, I'm just like, ah, yes, I'm going to sit down to do a thing I enjoy.
	And then an hour into doing it, I'm just like, oh, no, I kind of want to do something else now.
	Oh, yeah.
	Yeah.
	Having the resolve to actually do something is painful.
	It is just, like, brutal.
	That was me yesterday.
	I was like, I have to paint something.
	I just got it in my head.
	I have to go with this moment.
	I'm in the moment.
	I have the gumption to do it.
	I have to do it.
	Yeah, well, I mean, the first hurdle is just sitting down to do the thing for me.
	It's just like, you know, but I'm just like, but I'm already in bed.
	You know, like the chair is like five feet away.
	I'd have to stand and then sit.
	I went buck wild.
	I drove to the hobby shop, hobby shop, got the model I wanted to paint, came back, assembled the model.
	Well, yeah, but you cheated by adding the dopamine hit for being a consumer into there.
	That's cheating.
	Which is fine.
	Sometimes I cheat too, you know?
	Like, you know what's a great motivation for me to go downstairs to switch out my laundry?
	Already having to go downstairs to pick up the pizza I ordered.
	That's a great motivation to do that.
	And then when I get up from doing it, I'm rewarded with pizza.
	I triple cheated with the extra dopamine hit of, it wasn't even a model for my army.
	It was for Fred to the Pod's army.
	I have a whole pile of stuff I should have been painting for my own.
	But you wanted to help out a friend, so you were like, I'm gonna do this for a bro.
	Oh, and I just, like, I've painted so many space elves lately, I just really wanted to paint something different.
	Fuck you, boring space elves.
	We need something else to paint.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, sometimes you just have to paint another guy that looks like a football player.
	Looks like a different football player, thank you.
	Yeah, he looks like the rhino, as I was told.
	It doesn't help that he has a big horn out of his head.
	Speaking of the Rhino, did you see that Kraven the Hunter trailer?
	I have not watched it yet, I just enjoyed everybody's comments.
	I mean, it's mediocrity is palpable.
	Yeah.
	Which is unfortunate, but apparently the Rhino is in it.
	But this time, they're going full-on Dude Who Transforms into a Were-Rhino or whatever, you know?
	This is not Man in a Suit, this is not Man in a Robot Suit.
	That's a take.
	This is actual rhino lycanthropy.
	So that's great.
	That's a take you can have on that character.
	Yeah, we'll see how it turns out.
	If it's anything like the previous iteration of the rhino adapted to live action, I'm going to say that people are not going to like it.
	And unfortunately, people are going to keep running up to this problem where, like, A good adaptation of one of Spider-Man's incredibly stupid fucking villains, like the Vulture for instance, is The Exception, and not The Rule.
	Like, a lot of his characters are gonna get adapted, you're gonna be like, why is this guy so corny?
	And it's because Spider-Man's rogues gallery is like memorable, but also incredibly corny.
	So many of them are just old scientists in spandex.
	Yeah.
	Or mobsters that, like, escape from a Dick Tracy comic.
	Like, hammer the wrecking crew.
	Yeah.
	I've got a crowbar that's got powers.
	Alright, cool.
	Good stuff.
	Imagine being one of the six people in New York City that doesn't have superpowers in the Marvel Universe, like in the Marvel Comics Universe, where you just didn't fight a crowbar hit by a gamma ray or, heaven forbid, somebody like, oh god, Morbius bit me and now I've got vampire powers!
	No, you're just one of the elite group of people in New York who are just regular fucking people.
	They're just extra jaded and pissed off that they don't have superpowers.
	Yeah, cause like, hot dog vendors have to sell their hot dogs for like $20 to afford hot dog cart insurance since they're constantly- Because at any moment anything can crash from a building around you, or a car could flip at you, or just like a demon from hell could appear and kill you.
	Dude, insurance at the Marvel Cinematic Universe must be insane.
	Can you imagine?
	They're just like, hey, this doesn't cover act of God, or gods, or demons, or aliens.
	What happened this week?
	You just like, can you imagine?
	Like what sort of like, they're just like, hey, like, yeah, this doesn't cover active
	God or gods or demons or aliens.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	What happened this week?
	Oh, that that Venom guy, his whole planet invaded.
	Oh, all right.
	I remember after the Dark Knight Rises, there was like the Picard meme that was the hotness
	at that time.
	And it was in the meme was just why the fuck would anyone live in Gotham?
	And it's like, yeah, because every now and then a terrorist with a nuclear bomb will just show up and threaten to annihilate your city, because fuck you.
	Or something will happen and the government will literally write you off, and you're no longer part of the United States of America for a while.
	And on the best day, there's like 12 different serial killers, each with a different gimmick running around.
	Yeah.
	But again, dude, in Gotham City, if you fall into Avada Chemicals, you get a dice roll to see if you come out with superpowers instead of just dying from acid burn.
	You know what I mean?
	That's the spice that makes existence a little extra nice.
	Like anytime anything weird happens to you, it's like a background level cosmic dice roll to see if you get superpowers.
	Or if something tragic happens to you, instead of just turning to pills and needing therapy like most people, it just awakens inside of you a ceaseless drive to pursue one goal that makes you immediately successful.
	Crime or not crime.
	All the guys who show up just be like, Batman, you fool.
	I'm from your past, you slighted me in a way, and now I'm here to defeat you.
	Those people are never slumming it in an apartment.
	They're just like, I have to rent this studio to get my revenge.
	No, they're always just like, yeah, in my spare time, I'm a world-renowned psychologist or whatever, but in my downtime, I have a chip on my shoulder about Batman.
	So I built this robot suit.
	And it's just like, okay, that requires a diverse skill set and endless amount of time and resources.
	Wow.
	What a guy.
	I developed mind control tech, and also I wear a scarecrow costume.
	Yes.
	It's not mind control, he just makes you fear a thing.
	Oh, I confused him with Mad Hatter.
	I crossed two dumb villains.
	It's okay.
	Oh, dude, the Mad Scarecrow?
	Yeah.
	Somebody get Jim Lee on the phone right now.
	We're doing this.
	It's all happening.
	Wait until you hear this.
	Holds up phone to Jim Lee.
	Anyway.
	Okay, I believe that's our ten minutes of vamping, so let's get into the boosh.
	It's time for a light sampling of insanity.
	Get ready for the amuse-boosh.
	Bro, just like the rest of the fuckin' world, the podcast boys have submarine fever.
	My god.
	A few rich assholes got into a submarine and also one 19 year old kid who may or may not also be an asshole got into a submarine manned by a couple of people who do this submarine thing and they went missing looking for the Titanic so that they could gawk at a watery grave because life is nothing if not irony.
	A watery grave filled with mostly poor people.
	It was like stuffed with poor people of the lower, you know, they needed the poor people for ballast or whatever.
	The Titanic was also stuffed with the three guys who are going to make the Fed not happen.
	And one of Saturday Night Live's only funny bits in the last decade, Samuel L. Jackson relating his ride on the Titanic and how afterwards they constructed a ship of dead white folk and then the dead white folk ship hit an iceberg and sank as well.
	So in case you've been living under a rock on Mars with your eyes closed and your fingers in your ears, I will go ahead and turn it over to Mike Rains to talk to us a little bit about sub-fever and whether or not QAnon has anything to say about the mysterious sub-disappearance.
	Spoiler warning, up until recently the answer was no, not a lot, but then I guess breaking news.
	Yeah, so QAnon has been very much quiet on the sub.
	The social commentary of crazy rich billionaires doing weird stuff like this and risking their lives has been more discussed inside mainstream social media and all that kind of stuff.
	I don't know why QAnon didn't have a big theory about this before, but then, about an hour or so before we'd recorded the pod, somebody finally decoded the subcoms.
	Yes!
	They're rich assholes doing something they have no expertise in, and they're going to see the Titanic, a thing that QAnon weirdly has opinions about.
	Yeah, so you again you would have thought they would have been talking about it, but they weren't and then out of nowhere.
	I saw a guy posting about how They went after the wreckage of the Titanic.
	Were they looking to just look at the wreckage, or were they trying to remove something?
	So basically, this guy decided that the Deep State is now worried that people are going to find evidence of their sabotage of the Titanic in the wreckage of the Titanic.
	And either this sub was part of their mission to clean up the wreckage and make sure that the iceberg narrative remains the official story of the Titanic.
	Or that maybe these people were getting a little too close to the truth, and the Deep State had to have them whacked, because they were gonna get down there and be like, oh my god, look at that gaping hole in the side of the Titanic's hull!
	Those are blast marks!
	Holy shit!
	It was a bomb!
	The Titanic was sunk with a bomb, not an iceberg!
	And so the Deep State had to send their counters probably helmed by Hillary Clinton, because she loves murdering everybody, and they had to Stop these plucky, intrepid explorers from uncovering the truth of the Titanic.
	This disaster that happened over a hundred years ago in which everyone involved in any way is dead and their descendants Like, their direct children, probably all dead as well.
	This was a really long time ago!
	Like- But if we prove that the Titanic was destroyed by nefarious means, that invalidates the Fed, because reasons, or something.
	Yeah.
	And my partner's favorite question, to what end Like, it's always, to what end?
	And I was like, I wish I could tell you.
	It seems like an especially wacky thing.
	I mean, they're obviously just trying to get on it because everyone's got submarine fever.
	But, like, with all the stuff that was popping off a couple of weeks ago with the aliens, that seems like a much stronger, wacky conspiracy theory to hang your hat on for, like, Oh man, if we can prove this level of corruption here, then we got him.
	We're gonna really expose all of it.
	Here we go, this is the first domino.
	The first arrest is an alien.
	Yes!
	That'd be so good!
	Yes, that would be so good.
	Oh my god.
	So, uh, you know, unfortunate news for submarine explorers, those guys, you know, I don't have
	their names handy because, uh, fuck them.
	I mean, I guess, you know, like, I don't want them to be dead, but if you die spending $250,000 to go look at the watery remains of the Titanic, then, like, I don't know, man.
	That seems like it's on you.
	Especially because you have to sign, I guess their liability form or whatever, like it mentions dying three times on the first page.
	Yeah.
	And in every interview that the people who made this sub gave, they were literally just, you know what's really dumb?
	Safety protocols.
	Fuck that shit.
	It's all dumb and stupid.
	And we, we think the government demanding all this safety shit stifles innovation and prevents people from being able to do what they want to do.
	So yeah, screw you Nanny State.
	And now, uh, the people running that sub are like, the government isn't answering our calls.
	What the fuck?
	What's going on?
	It isn't bullshit.
	And this is the way it always works.
	While I'm doing my own thing, the government needs to back off.
	The moment my thing turns into a disaster, the government needs to jump in and intervene ASAP to fix it.
	Because it's on them now.
	I like the progressive split on this one.
	Like, you know, you're most liberal people.
	Because in a circumstance like this, they split pretty much radically in the opposite directions of, you need to have empathy for everybody, this is a tragedy because people's lives are probably going to be lost.
	And then the people who are just like, fuck them, they're rich!
	In fact, we should kill all rich people!
	Which has made Twitter extra spicy.
	Yeah, they've been real, real spicy of late.
	Yeah, I mean, you know, Twitter gets worse every day.
	Reddit, same thing.
	And allegedly also Discord, although my Discord experience has been great the whole time because I only use it for people I personally know.
	Yeah, I see all these people.
	Discord's a mystery to me.
	I never feel more old than when I see people that like exclusively use Discord as their
	social media.
	And I'm just like, how?
	I don't understand.
	Oh, if it weren't for a select group of boomers, of which you are two of five, I would exclusively
	be on Discord myself.
	In fact, I threatened to quit Facebook a little while ago, and a bunch of people shouted me down, but they were only people who are out of state, who only know by one social account.
	I am totally fine with going to Discord and abandoning Facebook.
	Facebook is absolutely useless for me, other than messages from you guys and the occasional reminder that someone I know had a birthday.
	That's basically all Facebook does for me.
	Maybe we're all boomer trapping each other.
	Yeah.
	Maybe we're all just like, well, the only reason I was on here is because you were on here.
	Yeah.
	I feel like we have a Discord that we could all have moved the group chat that we currently have to there.
	Oh, most certainly.
	I mean, for a while we were discussing playing Blood Bowl, like that was a thing that was ever really going to happen, and then it didn't predictably.
	It did!
	You killed it.
	It was you.
	You are the man in the room.
	I mean, we played the, like, we played a fucking, you know what, we'll talk about this off the air.
	This isn't going to be good.
	This isn't going to be good content for anybody.
	Anyway, you know what's great content for everybody, because everybody loves her, but me most of all?
	Lauren Boebert news.
	And apparently, this time around, she's getting a little impeach-y.
	Mike Raines, what's going on with Lauren Boebert this time around?
	Lauren Boebert is bringing another article of impeachment to the House floor, but she is, I don't know if she has done it or if she's threatening to do it, but basically she wants to do what is called a privileged resolution, which is a means of bypassing committees and other ways to table unsavory and unpopular bills.
	And she wants to direct this Immediately to the floor of the House to force a floor vote for the impeachment of Joe Biden.
	I don't even know what Joe Biden's crimes are that Boebert is impeaching him for, but I'm sure there are crimes in this article of impeachment that she has decreed and Republicans are not happy with her because this is the kind of dumb stunt that can only backfire.
	Because if Republicans do actually, if this goes through and this result actually has to happen, then either A, Republicans impeach Biden for nebulous bullshit.
	Which makes it look very obviously political and not great.
	And then it gets laughed out of the Senate because, as we've learned, impeachment is an absolutely toothless proposition that has no chance of actually removing an incumbent president from the White House.
	Yeah.
	Impeachment is the NATO of threats against a president.
	Yeah.
	Yes.
	It is absolute nothing.
	Or B, Republicans not wanting to fucking deal with the whole dog and pony show of a failed impeachment against Joe Biden vote down the impeachment.
	In which case every Republican who votes no on impeachment will have a MAGA slash QAnon Judd primarying the shit out of them immediately, waving their eye.
	I would have impeached Biden.
	And if you elect me, I will impeach Biden.
	Let's do this!
	Dumb political grandstanding as an ideology.
	So I just think that, uh, Kevin McCarthy apparently was very upset about this.
	Marjorie Taylor Greene was actually telling people that she's just like, oh, Boebert sucks.
	She's worthless.
	The whole feud between MTG and Boebert is now apparently still boiling, still going on here.
	Yeah.
	Because Marjorie has impeached Biden like a trillion times, but she's smart enough to just like send it to like, I don't know, some committee about justice or whatever, and then they just quietly kill it so that no one actually has to fucking make a vote and put their name on a yay or nay that they don't want to deal with.
	Because that's the whole point of this kind of grandstanding is you don't put your, um, Fellow party members in a bind where they actually have to take a position.
	If someone asks like some guy from a district that Biden won, Hey, what do you think about Marjorie Taylor Greene's article of impeachment?
	That guy goes, I haven't read it.
	I read it.
	I'll look into it later.
	And then ignores the reporter and never does anything because that's, that's the world they want to live in.
	That's the, they don't want to actually have to say, No, I don't like Marjorie's impeachment article.
	It's dumb and I hate it.
	Or, yes, it's great.
	Impeach Biden.
	Let's do this.
	That's just like our standard operating procedure for politics in America.
	It's just like, whoa, whoa, whoa.
	Don't want to fucking surprise anybody by asking them to take a position on an issue.
	That would be crazy.
	The real headline here is Lauren Boebert desperately trying to keep her name in headlines as she is likely to be voted out of office.
	She's just trying to keep her name in the headlines.
	Start and only fans, that'll show them.
	Yeah!
	Because the guy that she beat by a couple hundred votes, who had no funding, because he was supposed to be just an absolute no-hoper against her, he's running against her now, and he's raking in way more money this time, because people were like, oh my god, this guy almost won.
	Like, there are people in her district who are like, holy shit, we could actually get rid of her?
	That's a possibility?
	I mean, like, so... Yeah.
	I mean, Colorado is wildly blue.
	Only in the most, like, rural-slash-gerrymandered districts do Republicans do well there.
	Right, but that was the thing, is that Bobert was supposed to be in a safe red district after the 2020 census.
	Her district was supposed to be, like, safe.
	And then it turned out, oops, not so much.
	Yeah.
	It only took her being in absolute embarrassment.
	Yeah.
	I mean, well, I mean, certainly that can't be the only reason.
	Otherwise, we wouldn't have to deal with, like, most of these clowns.
	Yeah.
	I mean, Marjorie Taylor Greene is, like, the queen of just, like, actual, the nut of embarrassment.
	You know what I mean?
	And then we've got, like, Carrie Lake and shit.
	People be embarrassments all over.
	Yeah, well, Lake went statewide, which is why she lost.
	Marjorie is in a district that loves her.
	I mean, all these people that are horrible are in, like, R plus 20 or more districts, which is, like, they're totally in favor of them, like Louie Gohmert, Gossard in Arizona, Marjorie.
	All these people are in super safe districts where the only thing they have to fear is being primaried from the right by an actual Nazi, because that might beat them.
	Okay, well, of course we'll have to talk about Lauren Boebert more in the future, maybe when she finally fucks up enough to get the full-on boot.
	But until then, we salute her endeavors of cheating on her husband with her chef.
	In the last bit of boosh for the week, Elon Musk said a stupid thing.
	Shocked nobody.
	Although the first time I read it, I thought that for sure it had to be like, I thought it was like an Onion, like, Photoshop or something.
	It looked like a hard times joke.
	But for the actual punchline, I'll turn it over to Mike Rades.
	Mike Rades, tell us what Elon Musk is up to on his Hellscape of a platform today.
	So our boy Elon was having a conversation with somebody and then declared that harassing people is unacceptable and that cis and cisgender are now slurs on Twitter.
	Harassing Elon too much is unacceptable.
	Going after Pop Pop is the problem.
	Attacking me, your beloved CEO of Twitter, although kind of not really because that lady's supposed to be the CEO at some point, but yeah.
	No, the first part of that dumbass tweet is, anyone who harasses this account, Elon's account, too much, will, at a minimum, get a week-long ban from Twitter.
	And it's just like, holy shit.
	And then he buries the lead of, cisgender is now a slur on Twitter, despite the fact that it is a biological term that has been used by science for Decades, if not hundreds of years.
	Well, I mean, I feel like, let him test out the feelers on how this cisgender slur works out.
	And then he pulls the trigger on finally just being like, Ed, you can't say transgender either, or trans, or have the trans flag.
	And then before you get angry, I did it for cisgender people first, because I am all about equality.
	Yeah, no more pronouns in your bio on Twitter.
	I'm Elon Musk, free speech absolutist.
	Yeah.
	Other people have brought up the point, is heterosexual going to be a slur?
	Is straight going to be a slur?
	Where are the identifiers that you have the majority, like gender or sexual orientation, Like, where's those lines?
	Yeah, I remember the first time I heard cisgender and in a less aware, less like, I hate this term, less woke me, I was offended.
	Like, you can't define me!
	And I was like, wait, no, this is fine.
	It doesn't matter.
	Like, if you're offended by cisgender, you need to look at yourself.
	It doesn't, mean anything outside of a biological definition and if you
	are offended by it, that says more about you than it does about anyone else. Oh yeah, it's
	ridiculous.
	I mean, it's so childish.
	It's just triggering Elon, which is so easy to do lately.
	And, like, has his new CEO taken over on Twitter yet?
	Wasn't that the whole point?
	Is he supposed to go back to Tesla and, like, stop running over children?
	That will never happen!
	Yeah, I mean, it's a key feature of the Tesla Autodrive is the, like, It's one of the few features I respect.
	Yes!
	The child murder feature is great.
	The Death Race protocol.
	It's hard-coded.
	It's called the Fuck Them Kids button.
	You hit that... Guaranteed murder machine.
	Exactly!
	Elon saw Death Race, the original one, and was like, I need to make a car company.
	And that's how Tesla was made.
	He'll be giving a heroic speech at one point in the future where he's just like, and then three words cross my mind that cross all of our minds at one point.
	Fuck them kids.
	And an idea was born.
	I was gonna make cars that were just absolutely frothing at the mouth to murder small humans.
	Just obsessed with it.
	Elon was just like, I saw Robocop and I realized our world is not enough like Robocop.
	Why isn't Elon waiting in to save the submarine with his genius brain like he did with those people stuck in that mine or whatever?
	With his other death submarine that he was gonna have.
	Elon needs to make a more unsafe, more dangerous submarine to save the people that are trapped on the unsafe and dangerous submarine.
	You know, I had gassed up my super sub to go down and save them, but then I looked into it and it turns out all of them?
	Pedophiles.
	You can name the sub after his kid Wingdings.
	Or whatever that one... We looked up how to pronounce the kids' names.
	Ash Epsilon, the 26, the amino acid, vitamin, kale smoothie.
	I've renamed that child Wingdings, so there we go.
	If I get in trouble for that, so be it.
	Uh, yeah.
	And you know what?
	Side unseen.
	Let's start placing our bets now.
	I'm gonna say 18 years from now, or however long it is, when that child becomes a legal adult, they are gonna suck.
	Shit heel confirmed.
	No way they escaped that trap.
	Sorry to say.
	Don't think it's possible, but I hope I'm wrong.
	When both of your parents are such a nightmare, like, you either come out an absolute saint, like, forged in the crucible of your parents being, like, almost literal supervillains, or you come out a supervillain yourself.
	But, uh, yeah, I'm leaning towards supervillain with you.
	Yeah.
	I mean, yeah.
	Grimes is what happens if you monkey paw-wish somebody into an art school.
	You just get like the worst possible version of it.
	She comes out, she's like, I got a tattoo.
	But instead of saying it that way, she's just like, marks a permanent increment in the modification of the body.
	It's like, you got a fucking tattoo.
	Shut up.
	Like, the process of that is thousands of years old.
	You're not inventing anything.
	You're not discovering anything.
	You look and sound ridiculous.
	Tattoos are so old, there's a prohibition against them in the Bible.
	It's like, literally, don't mark your flesh if you want to get into heaven.
	Yeah.
	And we ignore that, but the rest of Leviticus totally rock solid.
	Who knows?
	Let's just demonize minorities.
	I mean, I'm sure there are Bible thumpers out there that would love to get rid of tattoos.
	Not me, though.
	Oh.
	Yeah.
	Oh, man.
	As much as I love Christ, I am equally as turned on by tattoos, which is to say tremendously in both regards.
	Because, God, I love Christ.
	Oh, man.
	He's so cool.
	One of my favorite TikToks there is a creator.
	He has dual PhDs in Divinity and religion and all he does all day is debunk all these fucking people that have way too many followers on tik-tok and they're like I'm gonna explain what this means in the Bible or I've decoded the Bible and he's just like all right let's hear it and then he's like no you you don't know how to read Hebrew you don't like you have no I don't care that guy's wasting his breath and time
	He has a decent amount of followers, and I respect him.
	I respect the effort, and I'm not saying that everybody should stop trying, but I guess what I am saying is that at some point everybody should stop trying.
	I mean, fuck, especially on Twitter.
	Every time I watch somebody... I made a tweet to this effect recently, but every time I see somebody on Twitter trying to actually reason somebody out of an argument, I'm just like, what the fuck are you doing?
	You came to the wrong bar for this, man.
	This isn't our trade, dude.
	You don't come to Twitter to try to change hearts and minds.
	That's not what it's fucking about.
	You go to Twitter to yell at somebody.
	You go to Twitter to just be like, hey, I think your favorite movie sucks.
	And they think, yo, I think you're fucking Hitler.
	And then boom, that's the argument.
	It's not just like, let me give you a rash of, like, when people are just like, a rash of well-meaning discussion, like, you know, and I see the thread, like, one slash any number after it, I'm just like, the only people I'm going to be able to see commenting this at this point in Twitter's lifespan are dumb fucks who pay for blue checks.
	Like, this thread could not be falling on deafer ears.
	No one is going to look in the comments and scroll down two pages to find somebody who agrees with you.
	It's just not going to happen, so stop wasting your fucking time.
	I mean, I'm not taking crazy pills, right?
	Like, no one's ever going to see the response you're getting, aside from all the fucking stupid conservatives that pay for Twitter now to just be like, you're fucking wrong.
	You're a wrong dub.
	Groomer.
	Fucking idiot groomer.
	I mean, God damn it.
	I mean, I love Trump, you know?
	Yes.
	Finally found the polite way to say that.
	Good job.
	Anyway, yeah, Bruce's segment ran a little long, so let's segue seamlessly into the news.
	From the digital headlines to the digital frontlines, it's Q's in the News!
	Big win for QAnon fans this week as Hunter Biden something something prison something.
	For more information, I'll toss it over to Mike Rantz.
	Hunter Biden cuffed and stuffed.
	They got the bag on his head.
	They're bringing him to Gitmo for his execution.
	Here we go.
	Yeah, actually, Hunter pleaded guilty to two misdemeanor tax charges and some sort of weird no-contest kind of plea to a gun charge.
	Yeah!
	Guilty!
	Surely it's time to be fucking pumped about that one.
	Yeah!
	Walking across the aircraft carrier, get that Mission Accomplished banner back up.
	I'm sure they still have it.
	I have that codpiece, my penis looks giant.
	We gotta have that.
	Watch this draft.
	Yes.
	All of this is to say that QAnon is actually furious because our boy Hunter Biden is not actually going to see jail time.
	The plea deal he got is going to give him a slap on the wrist.
	All of the QAnon promoters who have been banging the drum about justice and how Hunter Biden is the bagman for Joe Biden's endless corruption are now seething and screaming about the quote unquote two-tiered justice system where Donald Trump is being indicted for merely having a few documents laying around his not home in Mar-a-Lago.
	While Hunter Biden is criming it up crime school and now is just going to skate.
	He's just going to skate and walk away with no harm, no foul, no muss, no fuss.
	Which is great because my spin on this would be that Trump is getting prosecuted for selling out national secrets to China and Korea and the Middle East like a commie.
	Uh, whereas Hunter Bryant is being unfairly prosecuted for doing a bunch of coke and having sex with apparently dozens of beautiful women, uh, like a fucking alpha male chat.
	Like, that, like, conservatives, you're on the wrong side on this one.
	Like, if, like, if all this stuff, they're just like, more photos coming out of Hunter Bryant having sex with 12 women during a coke-fueled orgy.
	It's just like, uh, that sounds kind of rad.
	I don't know.
	Other than the drugs, that's not actually a crime.
	The drugs should maybe not be a crime as well.
	That's a different debate.
	But like, yeah, they investigated the shit out of him and they're like, He didn't pay taxes on a bunch of shit he did, so... The old Wesley Snipes.
	Yeah, they... It's not even a sweetheart deal!
	They dug into his life, they really investigated it like they wanted, and they're like, hey, you didn't pay taxes on all this, that is a crime, we are gonna charge you.
	And he's like, yep, you got me, and I guess you're not allowed to own this gun?
	And they're just like, we don't really want to go after you for that, because it doesn't matter, but He's like, I'll cop to that one, I'll give you that one for free, and they're like, okay, and you'll need to pay your taxes.
	Alright, well, yep.
	Okay, you got me.
	The thing is, is that at the start of this whole thing, years ago, Hunter had already made restitution on the taxes.
	They didn't know that.
	Yeah, that was one of the big things as I had read because the Hunter Biden
	indictment has been percolating for forever and I read an article where they
	basically explained that one of the things that almost never happens is that
	you actually get charged for failure to pay taxes after you've made restitution.
	Because the last thing they want to do is to set a precedent where making
	restitution isn't good enough to avoid charges.
	Cause then you're just not going to pay the fucking taxes.
	You're just going to be like, well, if you're going to charge me anyways, I'm going to give you that fucking money.
	Fuck you.
	And the government just wants their fucking money.
	That's the whole point of the prizes.
	So if you make restitution, they drop the case.
	Cause they're like, ah, we got our money.
	No harm, no foul.
	Maybe you have to pay a little interest because you were late on the taxes.
	whatever, whatever. Much like our current president and our former vice president,
	they're both like, the government was like, hey, you got a handful of documents you should not have
	someplace. And they're like, oh, you're right. And gave them back.
	And they weren't charged, either one, because they gave the goddamn documents back.
	Yeah, instead of rounding up their lawyers and just being like, what if we don't do that?
	Yeah, what if we don't?
	Well, what if you moved them?
	Well, what if we just made them disappear?
	In that order.
	Yes!
	Still my favorite part of all of that shit is just, like, literally escalating, like, conspiracy to commit whatever crime movie those documents fall under.
	Right.
	Just the whole time that he's doing it, he's just thinking to himself, what if I actually made the government charge me of a crime because I'm criming?
	Yeah, what if I kept doing this?
	They didn't want to charge him.
	They just wanted the state secrets back.
	Right.
	That's the whole thing.
	Because the Republicans that are actually going after him and other people who are talking about this will use the phrase, he did this to himself because that's what happened.
	Where the government was like, yo, we think we got you, we think you have some documents.
	Can we please have those documents back?
	And then Trump was like, God, I'm not so sure about that.
	And then a few months later, the government was like, no, no, we've, we've, we've checked our paperwork.
	It's missing these papers.
	We know you have them.
	Please give them back.
	And then Trump was just all, eh.
	Not feeling it.
	Not feeling like I'm going to give you back the documents that are yours and are not mine.
	But two-two justice system.
	I mean... Yes.
	Oh, the two-est of all tiers.
	Because Andrew Biden was charged for the crimes he did.
	Right.
	And also, again, because Biden and Merrick Garland and all the rest of this administration were desperate to avoid charges of impropriety, The attorney that's going after Biden is a Trump appointee, and he released a statement declaring that Garland gave him absolute final authority over the case.
	That Garland had no control over what this guy wanted to do.
	This guy had total autonomy to accept a plea deal, to go to court, whatever the fuck this guy wanted to do, it was on him, not Garland.
	And he was the one that took the plea deal.
	The Trump appointee, who had full autonomy in this case, was the one who agreed to this.
	This had nothing to do with Biden's DOJ.
	No, no.
	This was a Trump holdover, and Biden and the rest of the DOJ was like, nope, let him go after my son, hammer and tongs.
	Whatever he finds, he finds.
	We don't want any charge claimed that we influenced the outcome of this investigation.
	And then when this guy takes the deal, of course Republicans are like, oh yeah, Biden put his thumb on the scale.
	Biden and Garland fucking this up, getting this kid a sweetheart deal.
	It's like, no, this is actually objectively wrong.
	Fucking reality disagrees with you.
	You people are creating a LARP to live in, in order to pander to QAnon and these other shitbags that really wanted 100% to Gitmo.
	Yeah, whatever.
	That's exactly what we're doing.
	You can't tell us otherwise.
	Nope.
	Got em!
	Can't lose an argument if you never argue in good faith.
	Correct.
	Yes.
	Anyway, moving on from Hunter Biden, who is clearly guilty because he's pleaded that way, to Donald Trump, who is clearly guilty and has continued to profess his innocence like a moron.
	Well, he decided to give himself a nice little interview this week, and it didn't go well.
	I mean, it went predictably as well as you would expect an interview from Donald Trump to go.
	For the juicy deets, let's turn it back over to our buddy Mike Rades.
	Mike Rades, what sort of stupid shit did Trump say on camera now?
	He's just continuing to indict himself in this case, literally.
	He is just giving the prosecution more evidence that they can submit in trial because he's just going to keep saying it.
	These were my documents.
	I don't know why they're doing this mean thing to me when I was justified and right about all of this.
	Now, the thing that's really bizarre that people have been bringing up is that Trump appears to be taking all of his quote unquote legal advice from Tom Fitton.
	The guy who runs the right wing grift shop, Judicial Watch.
	Judicial Watch is famous for filing frivolous lawsuits at liberals and harassing them.
	And recently in the last few years, they had, they scored what was appeared to be a huge win because they got a judge to agree that Judicial Watch was going to be allowed to depose Hillary Clinton about her emails.
	This got overturned by a later court saying the fuck off judicial watch you don't have any right to do this etc etc and also deposing Hillary Clinton would have been meaningless because after she took her oath she would have pled the fifth to fucking everything because why would she ever give judicial watch any ammunition to go after her on anything?
	So all of this is to explain what Judicial Watch is.
	The important thing to know about Tom Fitton is while he heads up Judicial Watch and they do all these nuisance lawsuits, he himself is not a lawyer.
	He has never passed the bar.
	He does not have legal training sufficient to actually give this kind of advice.
	So Trump has been listening to not a lawyer talk him into this bullshit.
	And the main thing these clowns have been talking about, and I've been seeing QAnon parrot this bunch, is the Presidential Records Act, which they... And then they get into this whole thing about the quote-unquote socks drawer case, where they're like, this proves that Bill Clinton and blah blah blah...
	This lawsuit, the socks drawer case, the Clintons were not like defendants in this.
	This was not anything.
	All that was about was Clinton did an interview with someone that was, I believe this was going to go into a book of some kind.
	Yeah, it was.
	And Clinton gave the interview and some parts of the interview strayed into his job as president.
	And there was some sort of concern that these tapes might have some level of national security classification about them, but they were literally Bill Clinton's tapes of an interview he gave with an author about something they wanted to do for a project down the line.
	These were not classified documents from the government that Bill Clinton took away and then hid somewhere and then refused to give back when asked about them.
	This was Clinton's personal property, his audio tapes, that he was being harassed about by schmucks and morons.
	When they investigated, they ruled that the documents, tapes, whatever that were in the sock drawer counted as his diary.
	And why they fall under the Presidential Records Act, because they were his personal diary.
	And that's what it was ruled, and is why it doesn't apply to Trump and his state secrets he was keeping on a stage and then in a bathroom.
	Right, exactly.
	Because he was drawing them in a little book with hearts around them and stuff.
	Yes.
	I did find it really funny.
	Today I gave Kim Jong some delicious Nashville secrets.
	It was great.
	I really think he likes them.
	I thought it was hilarious that it counted.
	They're like, legally this counts as his diary.
	There's nothing in this, so.
	Yeah, he's gonna have this.
	Do you think Kim will take me to prom?
	Oh, man.
	Just imagining— Vlad, do you want to go steady?
	Y slash N. And he just turns that page out.
	He's just like, you know, this is a top secret document.
	Send it to Russia.
	I use my class-o-vision.
	It's the opposite of declass-o-vision.
	Wubububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububub Did he talk about how the election was stolen from him anymore, which is also debauchably untrue?
	Yes, he did.
	He once again brought up how the 2020 election was stolen from him, because that's all he knows how to do.
	Was this a Fox interview?
	Yes, it was.
	So did the Fox interviewer immediately just go, ha ha, I mean, you know, that's just your words, man.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Just, yeah.
	I'm awesome.
	I'm awesome.
	Did he do this in the Fox interview where they asked him about,
	like he talked about pardoning a woman and then the guy was just like,
	that woman would have been killed by your current proposal.
	Like, you said death penalty for all drug dealers and he just, like, totally fell apart.
	He rebooted!
	He literally rebooted on screen.
	It was awesome.
	Because he was like, yeah, I pardoned this woman.
	It was a great thing for me to do to show that mercy.
	And then the interviewer was like, your current plan is to kill all drug dealers.
	And then Trump was like, no, that's not my plan.
	Oh, well, maybe it is my plan, but that will be in the future, like right now.
	Not for her.
	Yeah, not her.
	She's a good drug dealer.
	Oh, my God.
	Like Gregory House.
	Yes.
	I guess he's more of a drug addict than a drug dealer.
	Yeah, a drug addict.
	He didn't really give them out.
	What a fucking clown that guy is.
	I hate that we have to keep talking about him.
	When are the Republicans finally going to wise it up and like cut weight with that guy and then we get to stop talking about him?
	And then hopefully he goes and really gets the Q base fired up to do some stuff and then our podcast can make us pod millionaires.
	Come on.
	Come on.
	Come on, Trump.
	You can do it.
	You can actually try to incite rebellion and fail again.
	I mean, that's... I mean, there was a huge nothing burger when he showed up to the court in Miami after he was just like, I'm going to be here at this time, at this place, and everybody should do the thing.
	And then, you know, chime in.
	Peacefully do the thing.
	Yeah.
	And then a few, a few morons like showed up and were like solidarity with you, Mr. President.
	And he was like, this isn't.
	We love Trump!
	We love red hats!
	None of you are here.
	It turns out that a lot of those people are weak cowards, and getting their asses paddled when they tried it on January 6th has made sure that they will never attempt it again, but they will talk about doing it.
	But it will never happen again, and our podcast will eventually become irrelevant, as QAnon also becomes irrelevant, and Donald Trump becomes irrelevant.
	It's going to be great.
	He's gonna take us all down with him.
	Goddamn you, Trump, you son of a bitch!
	I just read, right before we hit the record button on the pod, that one of the January 6th guys who hit a cop in the neck with a taser just got sentenced to 12 and a half years at a club fed.
	So, compopulations to you, moron guy who basically tried to murder a cop with a taser by stabbing him in the neck with it.
	For getting over a decade in prison.
	Well done by you.
	You win the prize.
	Today we celebrate you, stupid conservative traitor.
	Yes.
	Stupid conservative traitor.
	Yes.
	Enjoy prison.
	I hope it's great for you.
	Yeah, absolutely.
	Luckily, it will probably be pretty easy for any of those folks that need to to assimilate into the local, you know, whatever white power gang Is there carbon out of place for, uh, poor marginalized whites in the prison system?
	Yes.
	Oh yeah.
	Hey, if they're really lucky, they'll be able to make a hit record on iTunes with Donald Trump and go to number one and maybe bump out that other guy who tries to game the YouTube, the iTunes algorithm to make himself seem relevant when he totally isn't while wandering around Target and pissing and moaning about woke.
	Trump's punishment, one free submarine ride.
	Maybe put him in the same prison cell with Mr. Tate and say, hey, two men enter, only one man leaves.
	And then when Tate kills Trump, because Trump's a dirty loser, you're just like, actually, zero people leave.
	Trump will beg him not to annihilate him, just like that ghost he fought.
	Yeah.
	I woke up in the middle of the night and I fought a ghost.
	This is a real thing that I'm saying that my stupid army of masculine chuds is eating up for some reason.
	That's like one step away from just being a DM.
	Like, you would expect, like, your fucking, like, normal, like, don't get me wrong, I know that roleplaying is a lot more popular now than it used to be, but if you're the sort of guy who's, like, taking a bunch of powders and, like, going to the gym twice a day and listening to Andrew Tate, I'm pretty sure that D&D is pretty low on your priority list.
	Yeah, you're not working really hard to flesh out the backstory of your drow rogue if you're doing all that shit.
	But you don't need to, because your buddy, your lifestyle guru, is talking about fighting ghosts in his prison cell.
	Totally winning.
	Because the Matrix can't hold me down.
	Because I'm mixing my metaphors, my fantasy and my sci-fi.
	It's both.
	It's everything.
	And now the Matrix is officially charging him for like 20 years in prison for sex trafficking crimes in Romania.
	So we will, we're going to have the ultimate battle in Romania of either just rampant Romanian corruption, allowing Tate to buy his way out of freedom into freedom, or The Romanian government's heavy-handed, draconian justice system is powerful enough to actually just throw him in jail anyways, in spite of his celebrity status.
	So it's like, I don't actually think that he's- Is he a celebrity there?
	That would be great if they're just like, yeah, we don't know who the fuck you are.
	Get in the fucking cell, you loser.
	We don't care that a bunch of 13-year-olds in America give a shit about you.
	We don't give a shit about you.
	And you're sex trafficking in our nation.
	So fuck off.
	Boom.
	Yeah.
	If anyone's going to profit off of sex trafficking our people, it's going to be us.
	Right.
	We're sick and tired of you Americans coming over here and getting involved in our business.
	Yes.
	So enjoy your 20-year prison sentence, where it will be very, very difficult for you to continue to pretend like you were bought by choice.
	That's another choice, man.
	You're bald like the rest of us are bald.
	It wasn't your choice until you decided to shore up the little bit that was desperately clinging to life.
	I don't know if you saw any clips from that Trump interview where he just dropped the ball hardcore.
	He looks like shit.
	Like, more so than usual.
	Yeah, because every day he gets a little older, man.
	Yeah, and I also think that it's because, like, literally every day he's just like, hey, am I getting out of these crimes I've committed?
	And his lawyers are like, maybe.
	And then he's just like, no!
	My sicker fans are supposed to kiss my ass and tell me I'm going to win all the time.
	You guys aren't supposed to give me even a modicum of bad news.
	And he's just tossing and turning in bed all night being like, Oh, there's a 5% chance I might get convicted and go to jail for forever.
	No!
	No!
	Guys, I don't know if you know this, but the stress of possibly going to prison is really intense.
	Could you, like, smooth that over for me?
	Like, could you swaddle me and nurse me like a wee baby?
	Yes!
	To make me feel good and nice and warm and safe, despite the fact that I might be getting convicted of a bunch of crimes that I definitely did and continue to brag about doing on national television.
	Yeah!
	Yeah, but I can't stop bragging about... As I've seen on social media, a bunch of people have stated, Trump has the right to remain silent, he does not have the ability.
	Yeah, it turns out that he's a stupid moron, and he always has been.
	Speaking of stupid morons, we segue over to RFK.
	That's right, the Kennedys, back in the headlines.
	Nothing bad's ever happened to them.
	Making that joke now, just top of the bit.
	Joke over.
	Why don't we talk about RFK today, Mike Lane?
	Because Joe Logan!
	So basically, RFK Jr.
	is quote-unquote running for the presidency under the Democratic Party's flag, which is the most ridiculous bullshit that could possibly exist because the man has no actual principles that Democrats would care for.
	I was reading something about how The only things that are more popular than Joe Biden and the Democratic Party are vaccines and Ukraine.
	And these are two issues that RFK is on the wrong side of.
	So the Democratic electorate is probably not looking at RFK going, man, you know, I was having some questions about Biden.
	So I definitely want to cash my lawn with this anti-vaxxer who's on Putin's side.
	This seems like a total win.
	So.
	RFK is also nuts, would be a really easy way to describe this.
	There was an actual part of his conversation with Joe Rogan where he was talking about how Wi-Fi and cell phones cause brain cancer.
	And he explains to Rogan that it crosses through the blood-brain barrier and then does damage to your brain, which then causes the cancer.
	And Rogan, who is just dumber than a brick, and also at this point willfully malevolent, Rogan asks him, so how does it break the blood-brain barrier?
	Because that's a big thing in science.
	We have all kinds of issues about how blood and the brain interact with each other and how this works.
	And then RFK replies, ah, it's beyond my level of expertise.
	Just directly states like, Oh, it does this thing.
	And then Rogan asks how, and then RFK says, I don't know.
	That is an actual conversation that was happening with them on the Joe Rogan experience, which was incredible.
	So beyond all this.
	People kept sharing that, the Joe Rogan clip of him and Bill Burr, where he tries to lead Bill Burr for a moment on the vaccine and Bill Burr is just like, shut the fuck up Joe Rogan.
	I'm not qualified to talk about that.
	You're not qualified to talk about that.
	We're not qualified to talk about that together.
	It is wild and incredibly refreshing when someone in a spot like that goes, you know, Joe, I'm going to stay in my lane on this one.
	Maybe you should stay in your lane too.
	And the thing that's really funny about Rogan, the alpha male on it, omega brain, 27, whatever guy, is that whenever Rogan gets pushback from a guest, he just folds like a tent, just immediately just caves.
	he doesn't because his his role on the show is just amplify the guests no matter what they do and that's why he has right wing anti-vax shit weasels on the show because he just rides that wave with them and then when he brings somebody else on and they push back on him a little he just gives up he's just like okay I'll just wait until next week when I get Jordan Peterson back on, and then I'll have fun again.
	Joe Rogan's tofu, he takes on the flavor of whatever is around him.
	He just, he has, like, he leans idiot real hard, but he will, yeah, just immediately takes on the flavor of whatever, like, racist sauce he's brought on the show that week.
	And, like, that's the meal you're getting.
	It's the Joe Rogan experience.
	I hope you like the guest flavor, because that's what you're getting, and Joe's just gonna love it, too.
	I hope you like the smell of cigar smoke and Axe body spray.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	So, basically, the big thing that came up from all of this was that RFK Jr.
	was pissing and moaning about the vaccines being bad and awful and yada yada.
	And Peter Hotz, I hope I said the last name right, it's H-O-T-E-Z, he basically came out and was like, look, guys, what you're doing is really irresponsible, blah, blah, blah.
	This is not great.
	I know this stuff because I'm an actual doctor and I work on this stuff.
	This is my life's work.
	And RFK was like, then debate me, bro.
	Yes.
	Because this is what passes for quote unquote discourse in America in
	2023 is having these dumb arguments in public where you can gish gallop.
	You can use rhetorical tricks.
	You can use all kinds of bullshit.
	Quick explainer for what a gish gallop is.
	There was a creationist whose last name was Gish, and he would debate evolutionary, people who believe in evolution and this kind of stuff.
	And his whole debate tactic was to just use his opening statement to push like 10 bullshit things out into the audience.
	And then the person who believes in evolution would be like, and now your response.
	And it takes so much more time to debunk than it does to throw shit that the evolutionary person would be all, OK, here's why points 1 through 10 are wrong.
	And by the time he got to point 4, his timer would go off.
	Ding!
	And they'd be like, we're sorry, evolution guy.
	Your time is up.
	And then Gish would be like, boom, he could not refute points 5 through 10.
	Creationism valid.
	I win.
	And so literally moderators had to create new structures for debates to prevent gish gallops because that is just a thing these assholes do to make themselves look like they're winning and Any public debate has nothing to do with actually who's right or wrong.
	It's all, who has better rhetorical tricks?
	Who has better witty comebacks and pithy comments to make?
	Like, that kind of stuff.
	I'm assuming that this was probably the genesis of all the stuff I saw one day on my Twitter feed that prompted me to post my tweet about how, like, stop trying to debate people on fucking Twitter, you fucking morons.
	Like, because don't get me wrong.
	I'm sure that this doctor and any number of other doctors that wanted to chime in there and just be like, what you're doing is dangerous.
	We should debate that.
	But it's just like the Joe Rogan experience.
	Like, I mean, I guess there's a chance that you get like one or two people out of the pool of the Joe Rogan experience, but it's just the audio version of Twitter.
	Like, if you went on his show and debated him, you're going to talk, you're going to bring up a bunch of incredible points.
	When you come up with a point that Joe Rogan has no words for, he's just going to nod, just be like, yeah, something to think about or whatever.
	And then at the end of the day, the next guess he has on is just going to be another anti-vax wackadoo.
	And he's just going to be like, you know what?
	Maybe the vaccines aren't bad.
	I hate them.
	Right.
	And well, and the thing was, is that RFK wanted to debate him on the Rogan experience with Rogan as the host.
	And this led to RFK and Rogan and Elon Musk, then all dogpiling on the doctor and being like, why won't you debate him?
	Are you scared?
	Are you a coward?
	And the doctor was just like, I am not debating you publicly on the Joe Rogan experience.
	That is a dumb and a waste of time.
	Absolute unit.
	It only helps RFK Jr.
	One party, a world-renowned scientist.
	One, a fucking lunatic.
	Debating him only gives him credence to his claims.
	And Rogan was like, I'll give $10 million to debate him on my show with no time limit.
	That doesn't benefit the doctor or the anti- or like vaccine advocates in any way.
	I think we all just have to hope to God that Neil deGrasse Tyson is currently in medical school so that that way when he's done with it he can go on the Joe Rogan Experience because he will debate anyone about anything scientific and suck all the fun out of it.
	Yeah.
	So, he might be the computer virus that we programmed on our little MacBook that we need to put into the alien mothership to kill everything.
	Get Neil deGrasse Tyson a medical, like, get him medical schoolin'.
	He needs to know about vaccines and have, like, a document to prove that he does.
	Get him to Mars immediately.
	We need him on Mars.
	Oh, that'd be great.
	I mean, Mars, the Moon, anywhere where he can't show up to anything that's vaguely science fiction.
	It'd be like, actually, the position of the stars there wouldn't be... Shut the fuck up!
	Nobody gives a fuck!
	No.
	Like, dude, I was off of that, dude.
	I watched Gravity, and then I came home, and I saw a tweet of him talking about... Actually, the space station, I was like, shut the... I was like, shut your gob.
	You shut it.
	Nobody likes this.
	Why do you feel the need to try to ruin people's fun?
	What is the point of this?
	And the worst part is that movie Gravity came out like 10 years ago.
	I've been suffering through it ever since.
	Anyway, and that ends my little mini rant about how I think Neil deGrasse Tyson needs to shut up because his gimmick is not fun.
	He's like, I made my gimmick being the opposite of fun.
	That's terrible.
	I mean, it might sound cool and concept, but it's not entertaining, mate.
	You were cool for like a couple years, and then you just became a huge bummer.
	Yeah.
	You Zooey Deschanel'd it.
	You were charming and fun when you were just popping up here and there, but once you came everywhere, I was off it.
	No more.
	Not that I wish any ill of you, I just don't want you to be famous anymore.
	A comfortable medium.
	Just retire with your wealth.
	Yes, yes, please.
	You've had your 15 minutes.
	Go off to the West to forget and be forgotten.
	I said good day, sir.
	Yeah, all of these things.
	Okay, thus ends our hot takes segment.
	Certainly no hot takes to be found in our following segment, which is our mailbag segment.
	Our listeners got questions, we got answers.
	It's time for Q and A.
	Here's how I'd resolve the Israel-Palestine conflict.
	Oh.
	Inject a third party.
	Yeah.
	Right.
	I just saw that someone literally just posted a thing about the RFK-Hantz debate, so we just answered your question in the previous segment.
	Victory us!
	So, thank you.
	Cleodora Silvestri asks, assuming that Trump dies in jail, as is more and more likely every day, how long from the time of death until Q believers start claiming that Trump has resurrected and they begin seeing him in blurry images of out-of-focus photos alongside Elvis?
	One week.
	I'd say more immediately, but they need a little bit of time for that sort of content to generate.
	So, one week.
	Oh man, it's going to take longer than a week because it's going to take longer for a week for them to untangle their web-like narrative of how the Deep State got to Trump, finally.
	And then eventually they'll even out, and they'll be like, it's fine, even though the deep state got him now, he showed up, like, coincidentally in this bag of Cheetos, but don't let the libs know that.
	Am I right, guys?
	And then they just post a picture, and if you look at it, you're just like, oh, it actually does kind of look like Donald Trump.
	That's my reaction anytime someone's just like, I found a chip, and it looks like this thing, and then they post a picture of it, and I'm just like, oh yeah, it does kind of look like that.
	What was really funny was I just saw someone post a thing where they were talking about how the deep state tried to shoot down Air Force One when Trump was on it.
	And I'm just thinking to myself, and Trump didn't have them all indicted immediately for trying to kill him.
	Why is Trump?
	So patient that he lets his enemies try to kill him and then doesn't prosecute them.
	To me, that just sounds like you're a huge pushover and we should attempt to assassinate you more often because you're just letting us get away with it.
	I mean, if we don't kill you, it's no harm, no foul.
	And if we do kill you, we win.
	So this is a free roll.
	This is an absolute win for us.
	We should absolutely do this.
	So I, Trump's death is going to be very bizarre to these people because he is supposed to be like the champion that saves the world.
	And when he dies, all he'll become is the new JFK who also died, failing to defeat the deep state.
	So he'll just become like one of like a list of saints, which right now currently only one saint, John F. Kennedy.
	So, so maybe, maybe Yeah, so maybe in 50 more years we'll get another right-wing lunatic chud and then they'll die having failed and then we will have a trinity of fallen presidents.
	Yeah, he'll get canonized immediately, but nothing will come of it for a while.
	Yeah.
	You have to wait for that to have any weight, you know?
	Right.
	If it's just like, oh, he might be dead, but he showed up in my chip bag, so he's still with us.
	And it's just like, but I mean, he's like that chip bag has been on the shelf for like three months.
	And, you know, like it was manufactured even before then.
	And he just died like two days ago.
	So it's kind of weird.
	So what we're saying is, is that if you have the skills to like burn images into toast, you need to make that toaster now for Trump and wait for him to perish.
	And then you start cranking out that Trump toast.
	And then that's how you get on the grid.
	If you're big into composting and you have a roughly human-sized amount of decaying orange peels, get to sculpting.
	And then that's going to pay dividends here in a little while.
	Right, exactly.
	So thank you for the question.
	James Russell, do you believe in ghosts or skeletons?
	And if both, which is scarier?
	I definitely believe in ghosts.
	I'm not sure about skeletons.
	I mean, I believe that skeletons exist.
	I believe that skeletons are real.
	Yeah.
	And that we have them in our body.
	I mean, you don't have any proof of that.
	Have you ever seen your skeleton?
	My own skeleton?
	Luckily, no, I have not seen it.
	Well, there we go.
	Uh yeah so uh yeah I mean I don't know man like I'm kind of I'm in a weird space where do I think that places are haunted by actual like human-shaped Victorian and never any era but Victorian uh people that like want to just disrupt you while you try to sleep or bone in a hotel room?
	Absolutely not.
	That's ridiculous.
	Be an adult.
	Now, I do believe that there is like a there's like a palpable like a like a an energy to like sentient creatures like I think that like you know you could feel like a social energy like at like a movie theater at a concert or something like you could there's that like palpable je ne sais quoi that you can feel in the air that makes going to a concert better than listening to a concert like in your headphones or whatever And that, I think, there might be, like, a way for some of that residue to, like, stick around in a place.
	So, like, you go to a place and you get a vibe.
	You're like, oh, this place feels kind of creepy because, like, you know, a bunch of Jewish folks were killed here, for instance.
	Like, if you go there, it's just like... I don't necessarily think it's just the weight of history and your brain just being like, yeah, dude, you should be solemn.
	I do think that there might be something to the fact that there might be some sort of, like, psychic residue in the place that just makes you feel icky.
	But no little boy is going to be like, I want my shoes back.
	Like, you know what I mean?
	Like, get the fuck out of here.
	Like, why would that little kid be special versus any of the other people that have ever died?
	Like, do you think that if he lived, he was going to be the world's first super person?
	Like, what are you talking about?
	What you're saying is kind of interesting, because that is a big thing in some sections of the QAnon community, where they think that rock concerts and that kind of stuff is part of an evil ritual that siphons psychic energy and redirects it to Moloch or Baal or whoever, and the bigger the concert, the more power the devil gains, and all that kind of stuff.
	I've always asked these people, how do you learn how to control that energy and manipulate it and change it?
	I never get answers on that front, but you can totally feel that thing that when you're in a large crowd, there is a vibe, there is something more than just sitting in your house, listening to music on a headset.
	There's something bigger to being in a social group than engaging in activity.
	And I think that whatever mechanics are at play there, that much is obvious that there's something to it, whether or not that's just pheromones or just a psychology thing between being around people and not necessarily an energy.
	But I think that because those are the most obvious examples you can point a person to, that just makes them an easy target for QAnon or other nonsense like that.
	It doesn't surprise me that QAnon is just like, oh yeah, you know who's totally in on it?
	Big arena shows and sporting events.
	And it's just like, oh yeah, the place where it's the most obvious to tell that there's something different to being in a giant crowd of people versus being alone or on your internet with your digital group of people.
	I just think they're an easy target because it's so obvious when you're in it.
	Right.
	Oh, God, that was one of my favorite things that happened because predating QAnon, obviously, but this kind of thing was always around there in the Illuminati community.
	And their biggest enemy for many years was Lady Gaga.
	And then And then after she did, like, all her stadium shows and she's just harnessing all this power for ball and all this stuff, then she decided to do, like, very exclusive, small, like, jazz clubs with Tony Bennett.
	And she was, like, literally performing for, like, 400 old people with Tony Bennett in, like, tiny clubs.
	And I was just thinking that you've got George Soros and the Devil and all these other people on the high chair.
	And in their meeting, they're going, Gaga, baby, we need the 60,000 people in the stadium.
	Moloch needs his power.
	And she's like, no, I want to do jazz clubs with Tony Bennett and sing covers.
	And they're like, no, dammit, woman!
	Dammit!
	The dark one won't rise if you do this!
	Because it's just so...
	It's like, no, we need that Moloch energy!
	Do you think that guy's more powerful than Moloch and Satan?
	Could be.
	This is possible.
	This is possible.
	She may have usurped them.
	She's in Diablo 4.
	Excellent.
	I wouldn't know.
	Because I'm not giving those fucks my money.
	Yeah.
	Take that, Blizzard.
	I think they're gonna be okay.
	So, I would say that ghosts are scarier than skeletons, because I don't really understand how skeletons can, like, cohere with a physical form without tendons and muscles.
	A skeleton's kind of useless, so.
	Well, I mean, hey, let's say, okay, so for the record, let's just, you know, Puzzle it out.
	Say you're in, like, a cellar.
	Like, the basement of a house.
	Like, you don't have, like, an easy way to escape immediately.
	You're unarmed because you're just sort of, like, looking around.
	Maybe you've got a flashlight.
	And you see a ghost.
	And it probably scares the shit out of you.
	But, in a circumstance where you can't leave, like, you know, Most ghosts don't actually do anything.
	It might make something wiggle or move, it might lurk around in the shadows, but very rarely is it just like, oh yeah, me and my friend saw a ghost and it came and it ripped the heart out of my friend and then he died and it was really sad and then we went to his funeral.
	But if you're in the same situation and you're shining a flashlight and you see an ambulatory skeleton down there, that fucking thing is corporeal.
	It can do some damage if it has a mind to.
	Oh yeah!
	If the skeleton is capable of doing things to me, I'm fucked.
	The fright factor is probably also still pretty high.
	Provided that you've got the flashlight and you're shining through it, it's obviously not just some guy in a suit or something.
	Because the ray tracing and the subsurface scattering light is just way too good to be any sort of visual effect.
	Uh, yeah.
	You know, like, I'd be like, you'd be equally as spooked when your flashlight hit them, and then the ghost would, like, lunge at you, and scare you, and then, like, fuck off, or be like, but not do anything.
	And then the skeleton would lunge at you, and, like, collide with you, and then be on top of you, and now you're wrestling it.
	I think you would see, if I ran into a real skeleton, well, you'd see me turn into Scooby-Doo and, like, just jump into the air and my legs would form a circle as I launched away so quickly.
	Yeah, I don't know what I'd do.
	I'd probably just try to tank it, because I don't think I'm fast enough to outrun a skeleton that probably doesn't have stamina and can just go the distance, like Hercules.
	So I think, like, I hope that the adrenaline would at least have me stay on my ground.
	Because I think the skeleton's probably killing me either way, but I'd rather, like, put up a fight than exhaust myself trying and failing to run.
	So, upon further review, skeleton is our answer.
	Skeleton is worse.
	Yeah, skeleton.
	Yep, so thank you for the question.
	Pancake Peasant asks, there's been a ton of comics for famous superheroes.
	Do you have any must-read recommendations for Spider-Man?
	Ooh, for Spider-Man?
	J. Michael Straczynski's run on Spider-Man is, I think, like six or seven volumes.
	It's really strong.
	It's back before a bunch of the horseshit happened.
	Honestly, my recommendation, if you're asking for this recommendation because you're a fan of modern Spider-Man, and especially the modern Spider-Man that you're seeing depicted in movies and stuff, what you really want is Ultimate Spider-Man.
	You want to pick up and read Ultimate Spider-Man.
	Talk to the internet about what the general consensus is of where it jumps the shark because I do think it quote-unquote got bad at some point.
	But I remember I read the first like I think two years of it when it was like coming out because I was still collecting comments at the time.
	It was really strong, yeah.
	And it's really good and the DNA of the current Marvel movies and all that stuff is really more the DNA of Ultimate Spider-Man than it is regular Spider-Man.
	That's true for the entirety of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, for the record.
	Like, in original comic books, Thor was a regular guy who said a magic word, it raised a stick or whatever, and became Thor.
	And then Ultimate Thor was an alien.
	That was, like, from another dimension that they thought were gods.
	And in Ultimates, you know, Nick Fury is Samuel L. Jackson.
	That is the same for the movies.
	So, like, they just took the Ultimate stuff, mixed in a little bit of the feel-good continuity stuff that people like from the original runs, and then called it a new thing.
	Yeah, but if you want to really dig down deep to it I would recommend starting with probably the first 24 to 36 issues of Ultimate Spider-Man from I think 2001 or 2000.
	It's a long time ago.
	The issue where he reveals his secret identity to Mary Jane is particularly strong.
	He is not Spider-Man for one panel of it and it's just like really good.
	I remember reading articles about it.
	You obviously probably want to look into the Miles stuff, too.
	You want to go and pick up the comic books from Miles Morales, like his origin story and all that stuff, just to become more familiar with that character.
	Because as time goes on, he... At this point, it's crazy for how short of a time from that character's creation to now.
	It's been for him to just, like, fully stand on his own shoulder-to-shoulder with, like, the other Spider-Man.
	You know what I mean?
	Like, I don't think it's... Like, I feel like it took Nightwing forever to do that, because for the first, like, you know, decade or whatever Nightwing around, he was just like, oh, it's Buckethead.
	It's Robin's back.
	It's adult Robin, and he's trying to play Batman.
	That's cute.
	But Miles has always sort of been his own thing, and I think, like, it's just, like, a top-tier actual Spider-Man would not be surprised if he Overtakes and fully replaces Peter Parker's Spider-Man at some point.
	Ultimate Spider-Man, probably the first 24 to 36 issues and all of the origin stuff for Miles Morales.
	Probably my answers.
	I'll toss in, as I initially said, the J. Michael Straczynski run on Amazing Spider-Man.
	It was 15 or more years ago now, but it's a really strong run, and J. Michael Straczynski is a very good storyteller.
	I haven't read it in a while, so I don't know how it holds up, but I will toss it on this pile of recommendations.
	I got nothing because I'm really not that well versed in this stuff.
	I just wanted to bring up the fact that what Elle said about Miles Morales becoming such a big character quickly, I always find that stuff to be really interesting because these characters to just get made up sort of very new in these Mythos is that are decades and decades old because Superman and Batman have been around for forever and Spider-Man same thing like Bane was just made up to have a guy that beat the shit out of Batman and out of nowhere and then he makes it into like the third movie of this Batman trilogy and it's like oh my god
	And that now this character that was very new is a big part of the mythos.
	And Harley Quinn was just like a throw-in character in the Batman animated series.
	And now she's basically synonymous with the Joker and this incredibly big character.
	So it is really funny that you don't need to have a lot of history of a character to just have them like become huge and culturally relevant and be important.
	I think Miles is probably the most recent example, like the biggest one since Harley Quinn, right?
	It's because it turns out representation matters.
	Yeah.
	It's spoiler warning.
	A lot of the people who love Harley Quinn are one of the gays.
	So, I mean, it seems like representation... G-g-g-g-g-gay!
	See, I'm not as scared of a gay as I am a skeleton, you know?
	What about a gay skeleton?
	I mean, how am I supposed to identify even its gender at that point?
	I'm not a medical scientist.
	Get Joe Rogan in here.
	Tell me what gender that person is.
	And SnorlaxCpap asks, how have the Q-Folks not baked Orca attacks into Q-Fiction or Drops?
	Major missed steps.
	That is a good question.
	They really should have been in there.
	I mean, oh my god.
	The Orcas are the new hotness.
	If we're not talking about the subs, we're talking about the Orcas.
	So you would think that they would want to chime in on nature itself wanting to rebel against the Deep State and defeat our tyrannical overlords and bring about the Great Awakening.
	But sadly, I don't know that there's a Q drop that mentions Orcas, which is unfortunate.
	But I'm sure if we get into Gematria, we could find a thing that flows from Orca to Q and on.
	So there's a possibility.
	But for now, sadly, they've made a misstep there.
	Reach asks, no one has had an answer for how do you get Kings to hold up against Ace-X late in a tournament, so I'm going to have to pass this time.
	The answer is just try to win your 70%.
	It feels like it never happens, but I promise you over the long term it will eventually work out that you will win the tournament because your Kings will hold.
	You've got to get your money in and do the right thing.
	It's one of the things that blows my mind.
	I'm in the casino, people staying on 16 in blackjack when the dealer's got an ace or a 10 showing.
	And I'll tell them, I'll be like, yeah, you should hit there.
	And they'll be like, yeah, you work for the casino.
	That's what you want me to do.
	And I'm like, the math on blackjack is settled.
	We know.
	This is a solved game.
	If you can come up with the new math that shows staying on 16 is good, please do so.
	I've only played Blackjack in a National Casino two or three times, and the first time I did, I was sitting next to my brother, and the dealer routinely was just like, She was a very nice lady.
	She was like, you should hit there.
	And I looked at my brother and he's like, oh no, she's going to give you the right advice.
	Like, she wants you to keep playing.
	It just makes sense.
	Like, if you're doing well, you'll keep playing.
	Right.
	And also as an employee, the only way she makes money is if you tip her for winning.
	Yeah, exactly.
	So she does not want you to lose.
	I mean, that's what I actually say to these people.
	I'm like, I want you to win.
	My dealers don't get tipped if you lose.
	So I make it very clear that I am pro player because I'm pro worker.
	Viva la revolution!
	Let's go!
	I mean, all that good stuff.
	So that brings us to our final question as always, which is, what are you guys looking forward to?
	Leviathan!
	I saved it from last week.
	This Saturday, the 10th edition Warhammer 40k box set comes out, Leviathan.
	We've had the rules and everything now for a couple days, but we actually get the shit.
	The big box comes with a bunch of Tyranids, a bunch of Space Marines, and the book.
	And the cards that you need to actually play 10th edition.
	So I'm very excited to actually get to crack open Leviathan this Saturday.
	I'm excited for the pizza I just ordered, which arrived sooner than I thought it did.
	So if I sound out of breath, it's because I just ran up and down three flights of stairs.
	And I'm out of shape, as indicated by the fact that I ordered pizza.
	I'm looking forward to the pizza I'm going to go get once we're done recording.
	What's on the menu?
	I'm going to try out the new Joe's KC Pizza Minsky's.
	So it has brisket and onion rings and barbecue sauce on it.
	That does sound delightful.
	I got the buffalo chicken mac and cheese pizza.
	That is a good one.
	Which is a decadent somehow staple of my region.
	Oh, this is a good time to bring up So for the first time in maybe ever, I checked our Patreon because I forgot that we upload our episodes there and that there may be some like comments or something there.
	And in one episode, a concerned listener thought that maybe I let it slip and doxed myself by using my actual name or whatever at one point on the show.
	And, uh, I do like that you're looking out for me, dear listener, but also my identity is not really that secret.
	I mean, we did it.
	We did a spinoff podcast where we used our full fuckin' names.
	Like, you know, it's mostly a goof and a jape that we still keep up the Mysterious Al thing.
	But I do appreciate you looking out for me.
	But, you know, every once in a while, if something gets like a little too specific, we'll cut around it.
	But if we miss like a little slip like that, it's no big deal.
	So don't worry about me.
	I'm not important enough for QAnon to come after.
	Not yet.
	Oh, I had, uh, I had some guy like fail docs me on truth and some QAnon promoter like posted a thing where they were like, hi, Mike.
	And they put, and it was a screenshot of me on a, on a stream that I did with a friend about hockey.
	And I was like, bro, I, I was on good morning America for 45 seconds.
	Like I, my face is out there.
	If you want to see me, I'm there.
	Like, I'm not, I'm not hiding from you.
	I mean, don't worry about it.
	I mean, at some point, if anybody decides they want to dox me, first of all, I've been on dating sites and stuff, so finding pictures of me, maybe not that hard.
	I don't know how much of that stuff is internet archived, but if you really wanted to go hog hog and dig up stuff that I deleted a bad long time ago and find a picture of me, you're going to be surprised by how fat I am.
	I'm just a big fat guy.
	I'm pretty hefty.
	And I'm pretty tall in general.
	I'm just like a mountain of a man.
	And then, so, you know, cueing on people, when you find this and you bring it to me, you're just like, look at this big fat guy.
	I'm gonna be like, yeah, dude, I'm a big fat, like, um, what, you think I don't know?
	You think I don't know how winded I am after running up and down those three flights of steps for a pizza?
	So I'm looking forward to Babylon 5 as an animated movie coming out next month.
	I thought for sure you were going to say that you were excited for DC Duel Force after the performance of its beta, which was incredible.
	Oh yeah, that was great.
	That was fucking dope.
	I saw a lot of bootlickers on Twitter just being like, hey beta's gonna beta, so, you know, who cares if it ran so badly they had to literally cancel it after the first day.
	And it's just like, this was not a stress test beta.
	This was a key only beta.
	So they knew exactly how many players their ceiling was.
	Exactly.
	Like, to the literal single digit number how many players could be in at one time.
	And it still ran so badly, they could not fix the catastrophe and just had to cancel the whole event.
	Like, that is a terrible look for your game, beta or not.
	Oh yeah, absolutely.
	It sucked.
	Yeah, that was awful.
	I was super disappointed and infuriated by it.
	It's not great.
	Absolutely not great.
	Anyway, hopefully the Babylon 5 movie is better.
	That was a thing that I wasn't expecting and that nobody was expecting, because why would anybody have expected that?
	Well, J. Michael Straczynski has been posting online for a few months that something was cooking.
	Usually he's hyping up the fact that the CW is going to Pick up Babylon 5 at some point, and we're gonna have sexy teen Babylon 5.
	Look, J. Michael Straczynski, you love Babylon 5, and I love that for you.
	You've got a dedicated fan base of upwards of 100,000 people that will be happy to see it come back, only to have it die again because it's only 100,000 people, and I love that for all of them.
	But, I have superheroes on the brain.
	So, Mr. Straczynski, I need you to stop fucking around and start getting a Rising Stars adaptation off the ground.
	Fucking gritty superhero shit is hot.
	It's hot!
	Regular superhero stuff is going by the wayside, but the boys, Invincible, this shit is still popping.
	So, like, get that Rising Stars shit off the ground, dude.
	Tell Amazon, hey, you want more crazy superheroes?
	I got you.
	I'm J. Michael Straczynski.
	You might remember me from Babylon 5, or maybe even one of my successful things.
	Boo-hoo!
	Boo-hoo you!
	Ah, whatever.
	But yeah, so I'm looking forward to that.
	I actually really love J. Michael Krzyzewski.
	But I mean, Babylon 5, like, it went away for a reason.
	It has to come back for another reason.
	Well, Babylon 5 went away because he designed it for five seasons and then they fucked him and said they were only going to give him four.
	And that's why the fifth season blew, because he crammed all that cram into season four.
	And then when it was over, TNT was like, hey, we'll give you a season five.
	And he was like, uh, I have nothing for that.
	And they were like, but we're still going to give you a season five.
	And he's like, fuck it.
	I ain't going to turn down paychecks and getting all my fucking actors and stagehands and everyone's paid.
	We'll just do a season.
	Ain't gonna be anything in it, but fuck it.
	So yeah.
	A counterpoint.
	Sure, maybe people were watching it on TNT, relative to their years of base.
	Maybe it was a huge hit.
	But also, like, so was Monk.
	Nobody's talking about that.
	So was Suits.
	Ain't nobody talking about Suits.
	The only time anybody brings up Suits is because one of them went on to become a royal.
	Like, get the fuck out of here.
	The only persistent show that TNT had that anybody still cares about the canon for and is still in the zeitgeist is the NBA.
	The NBA.
	Yes.
	Go Nugs!
	Boom.
	Anyway, I am excited that you're getting more Babylon 5 for the sake of all the actual people that do enjoy it.
	I hope that it gets more.
	By all accounts, before the last season it was really good.
	Yes.
	It was never my jag despite how desperately my father tried to get me to watch it because it was too heady a sci-fi for like an eight-year-old me.
	He's like, no, this one's about space politics.
	And I was like, where's the laser sword?
	Where's the fur guy?
	Where's the black samurai dude?
	Like, let's get with it.
	Young El knew what Young El wanted, and Babylon 5 wasn't giving it to him.
	Kosh wasn't nearly cool enough.
	He wasn't in the show much.
	He didn't talk enough.
	My dad was usually serving up the hits.
	He took me to go see Terminator 2 in theaters.
	That was inappropriate, like, from a parenting standpoint, but I loved it.
	It was great.
	Still love Terminator 2.
	Our favorite movie to watch together at home was Cobra, featuring Sylvester Stallone.
	I don't remember much about that movie, but it's like a R-rated action 80s movie.
	Like, Sly Stallone definitely throws a throwing dagger into some guy's forehead at one point.
	That was my favorite scene to recreate as a kid.
	And then I throw my knife into the guy's head and he dies and he becomes a corpse.
	And then his skeleton rises and I have to fight it.
	Skelemans.
	Anyway, so don't do that, I guess.
	Don't, don't, don't do that for your kids.
	Probably not great parenting advice in 2023, but you know, I was from a different time.
	You know, things are just different back there.
	Smoke a cigarette, use the R-word.
	So on that note, it's time for us to jump on one of those motorized monowheels.
	Have you seen these things zipping around all willy-nilly, always looking like someone's a moment away from death?
	Well, I got some for each of us, so we're going to be riding those out of Hellwall for the week.
	While we're antagonizing our chuds who are doing our fake $2,000 bootcamp to become real men.
	Oh, yeah, that clip was great.
	Yeah, exactly.
	That sort of wheel.
	The Let Them Eat Cake wheel is what we're calling it now.
	So we're going to ride on those and get out of Hellworld for the week.
	Thank you so much for listening and supporting the show.
	If you'd like to support the show slightly harder for free, still the price of zero, you can do so by giving us a five-star review wherever your podcasts are provided.
	That lets the algorithm know that you like what we're doing.
	If you have money and you'd like to donate it to the cause, we will happily take it.
	You can visit patreon.com slash PokerPolitics to provide us with some of your hard-earned cash.
	Anybody who donates $5 or more per month gets access to our slate of bonus content, but you can support the show for as low as $2 a month as like a tip to your dealers, which is what I believe it's labeled as on the site.
	Thank you so much for this week's beautiful-er baby, Alan T. Welcome to the crib, Alan T. I hope you enjoyed how much shit I talked about Neil deGrasse Tyson this episode.
	If you have money and you don't want to give it to us, ChuckleFucks, we totally understand.
	Feel free to donate that to love146.org.
	They're an organization whose vision is the end of child trafficking and exploitation.
	Or you can just go ahead and do any sort of good with it you want.
	We're not your fucking dad.
	Just go take your disposable income and instead of buying a latte, either give it to us or do some good in the world with it.
	Either one suits us just fine.
	Thanks as always to DJ Minimal Effort for use of our intro song.
	They're still not on social media because they are way smarter than the rest of us.
	But you know who is a dum-dum?
	Our buddy Frosty.
	Frosty's a real stupid moron, by which I mean they are still on Twitter, and you can find them on Twitter at FrostyVO.
	They of course provide all of our drops, the voice of Q, all of that stuff when we need it.
	Equally stupid is us, the show you're listening to, at Hellworld on Twitter, with a Q instead of an O. Myself, king of the dumb-dumbs, at Hellworld L, spelled the same way.
	Sarge, my second-hand dumb-dumb in command, he's at Sarge in Hell.
	And Mike Rains, the secret man pulling all the strings from behind the scenes, king of the king of dumb-dumbs, is obviously the most successful of us on Twitter, at PokerPolitics.
	So, for another successful episode of the Adventures of Hellworld Podcast, I have been one of your hosts, the Mysterious El!
	Joined, as always, by the Enigmatic Sarge, and our expert in all things Cued on Crazy, Mr. Mike Rades.

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