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March 2, 2023 - Adventures in HellwQrld
01:43:20
Adventures in HellwQrld Episode #129: Arizona and Ukraine Conspiracies

This week Haley joins us to tell us all about the horror show that is Arizona politics. Then we get into rigged sporting events, Dilbert being canceled, and the question everyone is asking, is there really a war going on in Ukraine? Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Time Text
I'm going to play it again.
Content warning.
The Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in depth about QAnon, which means we have to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people.
Listener discretion advised.
Hello, everybody.
I am Mike Rains, a.k.a.
Poker and Politics, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld.
This week, Arizona is so screwed up that we had to have Haley on the show.
So welcome, Haley.
Hello.
I'm also joined, as always, by Sarge.
Yeah, I'm just here wondering why the Ultimate Thunder Tank is $500, but that's just a me question.
Yes.
And the Mysterious L. Hey, what's up, my beautiful babies?
It's cool cat L here with his slick back hair.
I thought you were watching Man Ready Savage.
No, that would be like this.
This is like a smooth.
I'm going to try to sell you cigarettes, lad.
Hey.
Ha, I see.
Have you ever considered racing?
We can do chicken runs towards the cliffs up by Lovers Lane.
It'll be easier to score your chick when you're in a flaming car accident.
Yes, absolutely.
And you can beat ghosts.
I'm pretty sure that's a horror movie.
Yeah.
Well, you could be dead.
The wind could tell you that you're dead, but you don't believe it after you have your car accident in your chicken race.
Maybe the gimmick will be like that first Goosebumps book, and at the end of it, it is revealed that everyone in the town is a ghost, except for you.
You, the protag!
You were the only one who was not a ghost!
You said chicken race, so I pictured all of this as looking like Wallace and Gromit, which is chicken run.
Yeah.
A run is a type of a race, but not all races are runs.
For instance, while you might race if you have the runs, the runs themselves, it's not really a race.
It's just more the painful consequences of too much Taco Bell.
That's how this works.
So look at us.
We're starting off strong.
We're talking about some stop motion animation and diarrhea.
Just like our QAnon podcast always is.
Yep.
Cheap shots at American fast food companies.
Boom.
Take that, random American fast food company that we don't like for some reason this week.
Well, I hope you guys have more cheap shots at the tank, because it's time for us to start talking about Arizona and Amuse-Bouche!
It's time for a light sampling of insanity.
Get ready for the amuse-bouche.
Dog, I don't even know what the fuck is going on in Arizona.
And that's not me being hyperbolic.
I literally do not know.
It's all red states are going crazy, but Arizona's going for the belt.
It's a cage match, and they're all climbing for the briefcase at the top.
I was too busy watching Cocaine Bear over the weekend to be plugged into the news.
So Mike and or Haley, why don't you tell me what is going on?
Well, me and the listeners, I guess.
Was Cocaine Bear good?
Yeah.
Was Cocaine Bear good?
I mean, it sort of depends on what you're going for, right?
I'm looking for a Cocaine Bear.
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
I mean, everybody does some coke in that.
Little kids, coke, bear, coke, adults, coke.
There's coke all over the place.
I'm waiting for Meth Gator.
Yeah.
Does anyone know what's been happening in Arizona?
I was just gonna be here to correct Sarge that he was thinking of a ladder match, not a steel cage match.
He's trying to find a ladder to secure the briefcase.
Can they have a ladder in the cage?
I don't think they've done a cage match with a ladder match stipulation on top of it.
They've not crossed the street with that.
That is not what Sarge asked, my friend.
He asked if you could bring a ladder into a cage, which yes, absolutely, it's been done like a trillion times.
But I was referencing...
If you're talking about Japanese hardcore wrestling, the cage has a ladder in it and also is floating on a pool and the pool has alligators on the outside that are very hungry.
Yes.
But I was referencing the red state ladder match that is happening right now.
Yes.
And I will also correct you.
Arizona went to Biden.
We got two Democratic senators in Arizona and a Democratic governor.
It's purpley.
It's complicated.
It's purpley.
It's blue.
Pretty sure they counted again.
We had to count it like seven times.
This is how Haley got on the podcast.
This is how she became our Arizona correspondent, because as much as Sarge was just like, Arizona's a red state, and Arizona's Republican Party wishes it was still a red state.
And as they're watching the state slip away from them, they're like, no, no!
So they're doing all this shit, which is now what Haley is going to inform us on.
It's a lot.
It's been going on for years now.
Because the legislature is still slightly majority Republican in the House and Senate.
Does anyone know anything that's been going on?
I do, but it's your job.
Okay.
The floor is yours.
Cause it's going to be, they're going to be the new QAnon characters.
You know, they're already doing like spaces with Stu Peters and like Tina Peters.
So all these Peters.
Hey, I got a, I got a Thieve over here and I can only be carried by information about Arizona.
What's going on with Arizona?
Okay so last Thursday there was a hearing in the election committee and the election committee has been recently being like headed by Wendy Rogers and if you don't know who that is she's like the most batshit Oh, we know well of Wendy Rogers.
We talk about her on the podcast all the time.
She's a lot.
Yeah, but do we have a short and dirty version?
The short and dirty version?
I can get real quick.
She's a carpetbagger.
She ran like six times and finally found a good spot in Arizona that would elect her.
And now she's just gonna like stay, pretend she lives there from for now on.
She spoke at AFPAC, which is Nick Fuentes' conference.
Yeah and she's also like legit tweeted out like we love you Nick Fuentes we think you're based and like I'm based because Nick Fuentes has said I'm based kind of shit you know she's super into she's she's really into the confederacy um you know every yeah she's just one of those she's you can call her a white supremacist I think pretty comfortably I'm sure Aiden Ross is going to have her on kick any minute now.
Yeah.
And when the election was happening, she was talking about jailing all of her fellow Democrat congresspeople and so on.
Basically, if you were involved in the 2020 election, you were going to be in jail any day now because Wendy Rogers was coming for you.
That's just the way it was going to be.
But she's also kind of untouchable in the Arizona Republican Party because she makes bank off of all her bullshit.
Like she, all throughout the election, the audit, the Maricopa audit, she was fundraising off of that and like... Did she learn that from MTG or did MTG learn that from her?
I think it's just there.
They're all a grifter is a universal thing.
But you're not wrong.
I just think like we've we talked about MTG a lot.
Oh, yeah, obviously.
And she definitely figured out the most successful so far.
She's the one who's landed the dismount best from using cue to get elected and then like, jumping into actual politics, but Yeah.
It sounds like Wendy Rogers is a little too Fuentes-ed up to do that.
Yeah, she's super extreme.
Even, like, she claimed that the Buffalo mass shooting was a false flag.
Oh, well, they all do that.
Yeah, that one explicitly, she was like making jokes about it.
Like, yeah.
Anyways, she's an awful person.
And yeah, the election stuff is also like, she's definitely the top tier election denier here, probably besides Mark Fincham, but he just lost his seat and didn't get elected to Secretary of State.
So she's definitely the winner.
And she's in charge of the election committee.
So, since she's been in charge of the election committee, like, they've just been passing a bunch of bills that are not ever going to become law here.
Like, you know, kicking people off the voter rolls and banning, like, vote by mail, which 90% of the state does here.
Are you trying to cancel the Democratic Party out there?
A little bit!
That's happening in Florida so we're kind of doing a similar thing.
The Republicans are forcing like a super majority for all bills to pass so it's like if the Democrats want to pass anything they need all the Republican support which is not gonna ever happen.
So yeah, they're kind of trying a similar thing, too.
Yeah, but Hobbs would veto that bill anyway, so it's performative.
Yes, everything they're doing right now cannot pass because, luckily, Katie Hobbs won by a little bit.
That's why the states where it's like, yeah, Tennessee and Florida and Texas, good luck to people there right now.
We might be crazy, but at least we do have a little stopgap, you know?
Yeah.
Missouri's in that latter match as well.
We, we, we said it's okay for kids to carry guns.
Oh, for sure.
Cool.
That's a law we passed recently.
Yeah, we have, we have similar.
Okay.
So let's get to the meat of the new nuttiness, which is this person went to this committee and gave testimony, which has led to all the shit I'm seeing from QAnon.
So let's talk about that testimony and who gave it and all that good stuff.
Yeah, so with Wendy Rogers in charge, like, they've just been parading, like, a bunch of election deniers that have basically been involved since the Maricopa Audit and, like, early Stop the Steal days.
Like, Seth Kessel also spoke on Thursday.
But the woman who spoke on Thursday who is causing the big drama, her name is Jacqueline Breger.
She's an insurance agent out of Scottsdale, which is like the fancy area here.
Yes, I'm even aware of Scottsdale.
I mean, I've heard of it, but you could have equally have told me that it is a notorious slum, and I would have been like, yeah, okay.
Because I just don't know shit about Arizona in general, you know what I mean?
Oh yeah.
So in her speech, I literally had to write this down, because it's like, she be accusing everybody of crimes.
So this was in an official Election committees so like yeah this is on like the taxpayer dime this is like it goes in the like public record you know it's kind of like a you're not supposed to accuse people of massive crimes at this you know
So anyway, during her speech, she went on this big ol' long 40-minute speech about how basically everybody, like Katie Hobbs, a bunch of Supreme Court judges, legal specialists, court specialists, CPS, run back election services, Stephen Richer, the entire city of Mesa, The entire Mormon Church, of all being part of this housing deed scam that is run by the Sinaloa Cartel.
Wow, that was a list that never stopped.
And the Sinaloa Cartel is a Mexican drug cartel?
Yes.
That's the one that was founded by El Chapo.
Okay, so we now have El Chapo's drug cartel literally in control of Arizona party politics.
They just run the whole state.
I didn't know that Arizona was controlled by Mexico.
You learn something new every day.
Yeah.
So the big scam is they're claiming that the cartel is funneling money through just a housing scam.
And they provided a list of names.
So it's like Adrian Fontes, who's our Secretary of State, is supposedly on the take.
But if you look at the name and the address they provide, it's not even Adrian Fontes.
It's some dude named Dave Fontes.
It's just like everybody was similar names, you know?
And also the point person, like in the person that was kind of like that they were saying was like serving as the point person between the cartel and all the Arizona officials was a woman, two women that happened to be this woman's So all her evidence, she said, came from a man named John Thaler, who... She said you have to check out his upcoming book to... She put out her evidence for incredibly liable claims behind a paywall?
That's not how that works.
Yeah, and she didn't say this during the testimony, but it's her boyfriend.
Please subscribe for more boyfriend updates.
And the two women that are supposedly, well, that they're lying about, but supposedly serving as the point person between the cartel and the Arizona election officials just happens to be his ex-wife, his bitch ex-wife.
Oh, men.
Of course.
And her mother-in-law, you know.
So he has a history of kind of like, this is actually really sad, because he has a history of like abusing this woman and like filing frivolous lawsuits against her.
So this is kind of just another like Example of him, like, abusing her and kind of, like, making her life miserable by claiming she's part of, like, these big schemes.
And the Arizona Republicans just happened to host that as if it was relevant to anything with elections.
But because she named names, like she said, like, Stephen Richer is, you know, taking money from the drug cartels.
He's suing and a few other people are considering suing.
So the Republicans who hosted this immediately started to, like, distance themselves from the hearing.
It's liable as fuck.
Yeah.
Oh no, there's a lot of heat on this, don't I?
Man, that Dominion lawsuit never went away.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
Um, so there was in the, also they had someone, Wendy, Wendy came out with a statement where Wendy herself was just like, I also disavow that crazy testimony from that person.
No bueno.
I did not sign off on that.
And you had a lot of people replying to Wendy's distancing herself statement by being,
Wendy, no, you're the ultimate true believer.
She's on the take.
Yeah, now she's part of the Sonoma drug cartel.
Now she's part of El Chapo's gang.
Wendy's also like, yeah, running fentanyl across the border for her drug lord kingpin overlords.
I don't know, man.
I just talked to that group of very well-dressed, flashy Mexican fellows over there.
They said they don't know what's going on.
They've never heard of this person.
I just love the idea of this list and you see on the list it says, like, Catherine Hobbs.
And they're like, there it is, Katie Hobbs, we got her.
It's like, no, it's not her address.
That's not her name.
It's like, no, it is.
She's part of the cartel.
It's this kind of snipe hunt.
It's like just chasing after ghosts.
It's what makes QAnon and all these conspiracy theories so exciting.
You're fighting the ultimate bad guy and you never know who it's going to be.
Today, it's a Mexican drug cartel.
Tomorrow, it's going to be George Soros.
Next week, it'll be Bill Gates.
It just never stops.
Who the ultimate villain is, just wait.
You're going to find out a new one any day now.
One of my things that makes me laugh so much is the World Economic Forum and Klaus Schwab are in none of the Qdrops.
Yet all of QAnon hate the World Economic Forum and Klaus Schwab now because Alex Jones has been talking shit about them for like three months now.
Dude, the word economy is in them.
That means they are bad and probably Jewish or whatever.
Yes.
Jones has hated Klaus Schwab for like 10 years, but he's reignited that flame.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, that reminded me, like, uh, there was a clip from Alex Jones where he was like, Oh, I know who Q is, but intelligence officials have told me not to disclose it.
What intelligence officials?
Why are you obeying anyone, Alex?
Let it out.
BT Dubs, anyone Alex named would be unimpressive and demoralizing.
So yeah, so I would I'm rooting for it, though.
If you ever if you ever actually did the whole hog, I'm naming Q and I'm coming for him because I don't like him, even though it's the exact same shit I'm doing.
Only a different flavor.
I mean, bully on you.
So maybe you could earn like an extra six hundred dollars to go towards your one point five billion dollar settlement.
You got to cough up there, buddy.
Well, as far as I know, we have more Arizona nonsense to talk about, but we'll be saving that for later while we move on in the boosh to what is probably my favorite thing that we're going to be discussing this week because, God, it just tickles me funny.
That's right.
We have cause to talk about America's favorite shitty comic strip.
No, not that one.
And no, not that one either.
In fact, I can probably give you a few guesses before you landed on Dilbert.
Everyone's favorite comic strip that makes people say, am I still making Dilbert?
So why would we possibly have to be talking about Dilbert on our QAnon related podcast, Mr. Mike Rains?
Uh, because Scott Adams went on a racist tirade where he talked about how black people and white people don't get along, so maybe white people need to separate themselves from black people.
This is the creator of Dilbert.
Scott Adams, yes.
Scott Adams, the creator of Dilbert, said that.
He also says that he's identified as black for the last couple years because he wants to be on the winning team.
He's said all sorts of nonsense over the course of his career, but specifically, the straw that broke the camel's back, as it were, was just straight up saying, there's no way to solve this problem, so white people should just, quote, get the fuck away from black people.
Yeah, to quote 30 Rock, separate the races.
So yeah, Scott did this and he got the blowback that you would expect from this event.
And he, of course, is whining about, I'm being canceled, argle bargle.
He got canceled immediately.
It turns out that being openly racist is a good way to get canceled right away.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So weird.
And of course we have to have everyone's favorite owner of Twitter and resident right-wing racist himself, Elon, jump in and be like, Hey Scott, the media is so racist.
And my favorite part of Elon's defense of Scott Adams was saying that, oh, the media is against whites and Asians.
And I just, I love when these racists try to like confer whiteness onto another race.
And they're like, Hey, Asian people, you can be white now if you want.
Like here is our official invitation to the white club for Asian people.
If you'd like to, Where does Elon's money come from?
Isn't it an emerald mine in South Africa?
It's so weird that he wouldn't be on Team Black People.
It's extra bizarre.
Oh, so weird.
Yeah, Apartheid Mine Clyde is not cool with black people.
Knock me over with a feather.
I can't believe it.
So weird.
That's so strange.
Oh man, this is a good way for me to segue into a cross I've been having to bear recently.
I don't know what it is, I don't know what I searched, what I accidentally watched, or what have you, but the algorithm has started feeding me stealth, like, conservative slash, like, white, male, incel-related stuff.
Like, there have been a couple of these content creators on YouTube that the algorithm has been recommending to me a bunch and I was like fine I'll finally fucking bite and I'll listen to one of these and I got like 9 or 10 minutes into this 14 minute thing before they're just like and another point I want to make about Marvel movies is that in Marvel movies you are not allowed to be a white man anymore they hate white men and I'm just like whoa
Classically.
I was just like, yeah, Thor, historically, not in any of those movies.
Tony Stark.
Captain America.
Captain America, all quite bad.
I'm just like, wait, what?
So then, like, I noticed that was happening.
I had to, like, fucking...
I had to tab over to my YouTube and just be like, no!
YouTube, bad!
Thumbs down!
What do you want about?
And that happened twice in the same day.
Two different content creators.
Like, the exact same template, essentially.
Just bitching about the Marvel movies, and then eventually getting to the point where they're just like... And you know how every woman, especially women of color, is just way smarter than white men!
And I'm just like, no!
YouTube, bad!
I don't want to listen to this shit!
That's that's what the so I occasionally listen to a podcast on guys who debunk right wing nerd grifters.
And that's what the algorithm is pushing on these right wing nerd grifters.
Now, they once again need to complain about the MCU and how it's going woke.
And, uh, yeah, that's what they're all pushing right now.
I hate to say it, because I'm sure that a lot of our listeners did not like She-Hulk, and they have perfectly good reasons for not liking this show.
But, I have found that it's a pretty strong litmus test, that if one of these fucking people start ranting about how bad She-Hulk was, I'm just like, woof.
This guy is about to go incel in, like, t-minus two minutes to incel on this guy.
I'm about to go full men's rights activism on me here in a second.
Because She-Hulk was like, even if you didn't like it, it's like a huge whatever.
It's not like the Eternals or some shit, you know what I mean?
You watch that show and you don't like it.
You're just like, whatever, it's not my taste.
But these guys are just like, no!
Boo!
It's their whole identity, just like Ghostbusters 2 or whatever became their whole identity.
The female Ghostbusters.
Incredible She-Hulk.
Oh my god.
It's for boys only!
Yeah, I love that kind of stuff where it's like women characters are destroying our world and I just don't understand how you can just get into that mentality where I need to see lots of white men on my TV or in my movie or else I'm going to be mad.
And if any of those white men turn out to be gay or trans, also unacceptable!
You have to be a cishet Christian white dude and just all of that.
Otherwise, this entertainment is unacceptable to me.
I am just very upset about it.
And you know where people used to especially love their white men?
In the Dilbert comic strips.
It all started when UPN cancelled the Dilbert cartoon.
Because, Scott Adams said, because he was white.
What sort of monkey paw wish was it for that guy to get the Dilbert cartoon on UPN?
Yeah.
Like, for those of you at home who may be too young to remember UPN,
before the C- like, so, way back in the day, there was a struggling channel called UPN,
which catered to sort of more of a urban demographic, typically,
let's say, like, you know, Martin, stuff like that.
And then there was The WB, which catered to more Caucasian people.
And, like, you know, did, like, animation for kids or whatever, that you may remember.
And then, they were both struggling, so at some point, they Herculean-style, like, smashed themselves together and crystallized into a new, more perfect form called the CW.
And in this process, they got rid of it.
They were just like, we're getting rid of all that stuff.
Now we just do programs.
Buy whites for whites.
Enjoy Riverdale.
So way back in the, so it's shocking to me, like, I forgot that it was on UPN.
Like, UPN was like, like, my friends who were, like, Spanish and, you know, black at the time or whatever, they all, they, like, sort of claimed UPN.
Like, a lot of them were just like, yeah, this is like our network.
This is the, this is the, this is the shit that's got programming for us.
Yeah.
So I prefer it to have this apparently racist, created, stupid white workplace comedy on it.
Also, Dilbert has like never been funny.
What's Dilbert about?
I don't even know what Dilbert's about.
It's a guy in an office.
It's just about an engineer working in an office and the manager has no idea what is happening with the engineers.
Dilbert's buddy is always the slacking off engineer.
He works very hard at not working.
Dilbert's dog is smarter than him and is named Dogbert.
Oh, is this some Scott Adams, like, is he trying to tell us something?
Is his dog smarter than him?
Probably.
And there's the evil director of HR, Catbert.
Yeah.
Good stuff.
I read a lot of Dilbert when I was in high school, and I remember finding it... I'm so shocked, considering how many characters you just rattled off.
I didn't know that much about Dilbert, I'm not gonna lie.
Yeah, no, I remember liking it 20 years ago.
Now we're going over to our resident Dilbert correspondent, Sarge.
Yeah.
20 years ago, Dilbert...
It was funny.
I will stand by... I remember laughing at some of the strips, and I had never worked an office job at that point.
I just thought that when the characters are just doing wacky things, it was, I don't know, pretty funny.
I mean, shit was just different back then, right?
Like, I think Dover started in 89.
Doves didn't exist back then, so it was harder.
It was easier to make.
It was easier to write.
Like, early 90s comic stuff, like, the goalposts were just so wildly different.
Uh, The Far Side made like an empire, like a merchandising empire out of those comics.
And when you go back and read those comics now, you're just like, what the, what the fuck were people laughing at?
This is just like, it's so tame.
It's like, it's like if your dad was trying to meme.
And it's just like, what is going on here?
And it's just like, yeah, man, like, tastes evolve.
And like, you know, we've refined a lot and we've come a long way.
So looking back at comic strips is especially like, you know, try to show, instead of sending somebody down and showing them Garfield comic strips today.
I'm a Garfield supremacist.
Don't come after him like that.
Are you kidding me?
Is this a bit?
No, I love Garfield.
Garfield is the most incredible piece of study for an intellectual property in the history of ever because you can modify it in any way and make it... I just love the Garfield memes, you know?
Like, attack and dethrone God and it's Garfield.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, Garfield as a meme is fine.
I thought you were Garfield as an actual comic strip.
I love Garfield as a meme.
I like the Garfield comic strips where it edits what he says.
Yeah.
Garfield minus Garfield.
Real field.
What is the humor of Garfield?
Just dry.
It's just so good.
But when it's playing it straight, it's the worst thing ever.
I have no idea.
It's like oatmeal.
You know, regular ass oatmeal is pretty boring and bad, but you can mix a lot of stuff into oatmeal to make it delightful.
Yeah.
I only remember actively laughing at a single Garfield strip ever.
And it's one from, I think, like, before I was born.
And it's just Garfield goes to swallow an entire turkey and his mouth is around it.
And John says, if you swallow, I'll tie a knot in your neck.
And Garfield just looking at him with his mouth around an entire turkey, and I remember laughing at that and never at another Garfield, like, again.
Like, the only comic I can remember from back in the Halcyon days of comics that, like, stands up at all is Calvin and Hobbes.
And, like, one day Bill Watterson was just like, fuck it, I'm out, and I don't want to make huge money off this shit, so no.
You assholes can, like, do whatever you're doing with Calvin pissing on Ford or Chevy logos.
Don't care.
Just... I'm not in this for the buck.
I'm in this because I'm an actual artist.
Like, Bill Waterson is, like, so the opposite of Jim Davis and Scott Adams.
Where, like, I mean, Scott Adams...
Dilbert isn't even in the fucking drawings.
It's as close to stick figures as you can fucking get and make it into a newspaper.
Whereas, like, Bill Watterson was actually trying to do art.
I mean, that guy was, like, working at it.
Yeah, like, my biggest complaint with Watterson is that I wish he had sold out.
Because in doing the opposite... Like, don't get me wrong, I respect him.
And it's obviously the right moral call or whatever.
but in doing so it is like fucking canonized him as some sort of like deity and everyone's just like oh my god what a genius like he produced this timeless classic for the ages and then vanished i'm just like dude i think Calvin and Hobbes is like okay but i never fucked with it as a kid and as an adult it doesn't strike me as the sort of thing where it's just like it's a timeless classic i gotta get to it like you know what i mean i don't look at Calvin and Hobbes the same way i look at like mouse or watchmen Yeah, you know what I mean?
Where it's like these literary things you have to get to and you need to experience.
But I've heard people talk about Covenant of Hobbes, like it's that sort of experience.
I'm like, really?
The comic strip about the kid imagining stuff with his tiger?
It was banned in my elementary school.
Really?
Yeah, so I never got to read it as a kid and I was like, what's it about?
What is it going to tell me about the movie?
I thought he pissed on everything!
No, that's just because Bill Waterson refused to license it.
Yeah, I figured that out later.
I have it on my shelf right now.
It largely holds up, like Alvin and Hobbes.
I can't imagine Dilbert does, because that's like... No, Dilbert's great.
It's all perfect humor.
Who can't sympathize with a white man in the workplace?
He's the most maligned person in the universe now.
Unless you haven't heard.
Yeah, so Scott Adams got himself quote-unquote cancelled, so he's going to become a right-wing grifter now, and he's got Daddy Elon backing him up, so get ready for right-wing Dilbert!
A comic strip you can't block coming to Twitter any day now!
Now that Dilbert has tainted goods, maybe he'll make a new, more conservative right-wing comic strip, and they can talk about how all sports are rigged!
They're all rigged, Mike Raines!
All these sports competitions, they're all fucking scripted, poor shit.
Yeah.
And of course you know this, but in case our audience doesn't know this, explain to them why sports are bullshit and that you hate them.
Okay.
So we had a laugh on the podcast when the Super Bowl happened, because right before the Super Bowl came out, there was this joke on the internet about how someone found the script that the Eagles were going to win the Super Bowl by like three points over the Chiefs.
And then we had to do a little revision of that and actually give the Chiefs the Lombardi.
So again, at the time that that happened, I was like, okay, this is a funny, jokey joke, whatever.
Now I know that the Paul brothers are scum and that hating them is an important part of American daily life, but Jake Paul was involved in a fight against the brother of the heavyweight champion of the world, Tyson Fury, Tommy Fury, and they were going to have themselves an eight round boxing match and People were talking about how this fight was going to be rigged and how, if you go on the major gambling sites to bet on it, you can't bet on it because it's staged.
They're like, they're doing stuff.
Jake's just going to win.
He's going to, blah, blah, blah.
And it's like, yeah, I know the Paul brothers.
It's shady.
It's a possibility this could be rigged.
That's fine.
But then somebody, much like the Super Bowl, posted online the quote unquote script of the Paul Fury fight.
And the thing was, is that instead of people rolling their eyes and taking this as a jape, I saw way, way too many comments going, oh yeah, I knew it.
I knew this shit was rigged.
Of course I got a fucking script for it.
And I was like, guys, guys, guys, let me, let's come into the huddle here.
No, there's, this is, this is a joke.
This is a internet hoax that because you hate the Paul brothers, you're now believing in because you want to think the worst of them.
But no, this isn't a script for the fight.
It's not rigged.
It's not staged.
They should have known that it was fake if they had read even a moment of it, because it did open with the line, but soft, what light through yon square circle breaks.
Yes.
My favorite part of the script, which is, again, this was like the script that we're supposed to follow for the fight, involves Tommy Fury having his eye swollen shut, requiring the doctors to check on him to see if they were going to stop the fight or not.
And I was just thinking... Do they have like a prosthetics department?
Like, what's going on with that one, bud?
Just one guy's just like, okay, at this point, to get your eye nice and swollen, I'm gonna hit you with the bee glove.
So be prepared to receive the bee at the top of the ninth inning, or inning, ninth round or whatever.
Yeah, at the top of the ninth, I'm gonna dig a bee right in deep.
Exactly.
Someone brought that up.
They were like, you can't fake a swollen eye.
What are you going to do?
And I replied to that person and said, Tommy Fury is just such a team player.
He's going to let Jake Paul hit him in the eye repeatedly until his eye swells shut because he's got to fulfill the script.
Yeah.
You know, you notice in professional wrestling that they don't fake swollen eyes because you can't.
Like, they'll fake bleeding, because they can cut themselves real easy.
They'll fake getting hit, because you can fake that pretty easy.
But they don't fake swollen eyes that a medical professional has to come and look at, because you can't fake swelling.
Yeah it was so great just reading this like obviously fake script and then having people buy into it and I was just like oh my god and the thing about boxing is that if you're going to rig a fight the whole thing is is what you call taking a dive and In boxing, there is a thing that is real called the liver shot, where if you hit somebody right where the liver is, because the liver is covered by most of the ribcage, but not all of it.
So there's a little bit of liver sticking out right below your ribcage.
And if you get hit there, it like shuts your body down and you just drop and that's it.
So it's like, if you're ever going to fake a fight, you just punch a guy in the gut and he goes, Oh, my liver crumples to the ground.
And then the fight's over and he loses and that's it.
And fighters will tell you, if you legitimately get liver shotted, it is the worst pain in the world for like 25 seconds, and then you're pretty much up and about.
You're gonna be sore for a few days, but whatever.
So it's like, that's the ultimate fake-out.
It's the ultimate way to take a dive.
You don't even have to get hit with a punch in the face that didn't look so good.
I think maybe it was rigged.
It's like, no, just punch him in the body.
He'll claim it was a liver shot.
No way.
You got to talk to the makeup department and get the nice big fake goose egg on there.
Yes, yes.
It's like, oh, the competitors are in their quarters and oh, one of them is just really surrounded tight by a lot of people.
It's hard to get a look at what's going on there exactly.
Oh, it's very difficult to see what's happening there.
Best not to think about that.
Anyway, uh, sponsored by Bud Light, etc.
And then when he comes back to him, it's just like, oh, look at the shiner on him!
Oh, how dumb is that?
Oh, it'd be great.
You see the cut man walking out of the corner, but instead of having, like, the Q-tip with, like, the chemicals on it to stop the bleeding, you just see him with an actual glue gun walking out of the corner.
Could you just glue the prosthetic onto his face to make sure that his eye was nice and shut?
It'd be perfect.
Could you imagine?
And then it falls off in the ring.
It's like, oh my god, he knocked his face off!
Oh!
Oh, never before in my life have I seen such a devastating blow.
Oh my god, Jake Paul just knocked a giant chunk of his opponent's scalp off with a devastating scalp punch.
He's been training for that in Tibet with the monks for years, apparently, to land that devastating blow.
Anyway, so all the stuff that we're talking about sure does make all these conservatives look real stupid, and thankfully we're done with that now.
Just kidding, it's time to get into our news segment.
From the digital headlines to the digital front lines, it's Q's in the News.
Would you believe it?
Apparently there's even more Arizona nonsense to talk about.
The superior Arizona nonsense.
The stuff that we saved for now.
Are they raising the price on Arizona tea?
Never.
Nah.
No, I hear that's one of those Costco deals.
You're never going to get a hot dog for more than $1.50 at Costco.
Arizona iced tea is never going to be more than $0.99.
And it's a price twist.
They're switching over to Arizona coffee.
It always will be.
Yes.
So what is the hard news segment of Arizona's Evil now?
Tell us, Haley.
Clue us in.
Um, you guys remember the Cyber Ninjas audit?
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
Yeah, we brought them up earlier.
Yeah.
Um, it was, it was, it was bullshit.
We know that.
So we have a new Attorney General.
She's a Democrat, Chris Mays.
She won by a very slim margin, like literally hundreds of votes.
I actually saw a thing where someone said COVID deaths may have given her the seat.
She was like one of the only officials who may have won because Republicans refuse to get vaccinated and enough Republicans died to get her over the hump and into the office.
Yep.
Yep.
Get your vaccine.
Yes.
So anyway, she she kind of like exposed the last attorney general, who's Mark Brnovich, the nunchuck guy.
Yep, I know all of him.
Yeah, because he actually, he had been investigating the claims of the Cyber Ninja Report and like a bunch of the election fraud claims and his office found that it was all bullshit and he just never released it.
He literally dedicated 10,000 man hours to it, like over 60 lawyers and investigators to investigate every single claim that the Cyber Ninjas and everybody else was making.
Glad to hear more about Cyber Ninjas.
I know.
And he just never released it.
Everybody thought he was gonna like or like the the Republicans were gonna actually kind of address that like hey you know that audit that we um had it was bullshit you guys gonna talk about that and instead the next day we had the um little hearing that we talked about at the beginning of
this segment.
So yeah.
Yeah. So literally, instead of exposing the fact that they had their scandal,
their Cyber Ninjas audit, turned up no actual proof of what they were claiming.
They got, they had no actual evidence for all the bullshit they were peddling.
Instead of that, they had a lady come in front of a actual congressional committee in Arizona and just commit aggressive slander of all kinds of people in front of her to the point where people that were, anyone who was involved in that hearing might get their ass sued for letting her near a microphone at an actual Actual committee meeting to like say these things that you, you and you are all part of the Mexican drug cartels.
Also speaking of the Cyber Ninja Audit, the, the person who actually brought Jacqueline Breger to the hearing is Liz Harris.
If you guys know who that is, she's a QAnon.
She's a, she's a recently elected QAnon believing, um, lady.
Nice, nice, nice.
She did the canvassing during the Cyber Ninjas audit, which technically wasn't on the books because it was illegal.
So she did it anyway.
Oh, sorry.
No, no, I kind of remember her because she was like screaming that everyone has to go to jail and that this is, this is corrupt.
And like, she, was she like talking?
Oh, she, she was the one that was like trying to like gum up the works to prevent her own election from being certified because she was in one of those districts where like, they were like, don't certify it.
They're like, well, if we don't certify it, you don't win.
Yeah.
And she also housed Ron Watkins here when he lived here because she's a real estate agent.
Oh my god, that's beautiful.
Oh, and she also popularized, may Arizona be the first domino to fall, if you remember that during the audit days.
I do not, but that's pretty great.
Good job.
Also, dominoes falling, when you set up dominoes, you either want them to fall in a specific pattern to do something beautiful, or you do not want them to fall.
So the implication that a domino falling is always strictly a good thing, it's just like, no man, you're the first domino to fall, that means you fucked up.
Yeah, you fucked up.
Like democracy.
Yeah, like thankfully they're somehow like a weird red state that's wearing a blue state hat, but I don't understand.
It's just all the news that comes out of that place is like a different fucking world.
It's so weird.
It was so funny, though, during the like the Breger was asked, like, so who invited you?
And it was obviously Liz Harris.
And Liz Harris is sitting there because she's on the election committee and she literally goes like this.
So aggressively, too, like that, like a big cut, like, don't stop talking now.
Do not implicate me in this bullshit.
I was doing this for funsies before it could actually be a crime, or at least something that could get me in actual civil hot water, because this is the rare instant of unprotected speech.
This is actually something that the First Amendment goes, no, no, I don't cover this motherfucker, no.
You're ass is out on your own.
Don't be talking about me.
The First Amendment's for all kinds of other shit, not this.
Want to burn an American flag?
Go ahead.
First Amendment.
This?
No.
Hard pass.
Just like, oh my god.
Yeah, so Brnovich just buried... This is basically what happened with Trump.
This story came out like a month or so ago where Trump had his people dig in to find out if the election was stolen from him.
They told him it was not.
He fired those people.
He buried the report.
And this is what happens to all of these right-wing grifters is they Look for election fraud.
It doesn't exist.
And then they suppress the fact that they looked for election fraud.
There was none.
Because maintaining the illusion that the election was stolen is a very important part of right-wing politics.
We're always going to lie about this to our audience because they want to hear it.
They want to know that they got robbed.
And it's bullshit that they got robbed.
And that's how we keep the fundraising going.
We keep people motivated.
But not motivated to vote.
Well, I think one of my favorite things was like Charlie Kirk on his show after the 2020 midterms had a lot of people calling in saying, well, I didn't vote because you guys told me it was going to be rigged.
And, like, Kirk and his co-hosts are sitting there going, ah, goddammit!
I can't believe this is a self-defeating prophecy we've created!
Well, yeah, I mean, unless... Now, this is certainly giving them too much credit, but imagine if it was intentional.
Imagine if they were the producers saying it.
They were just like, hey, what we have here is we have people that are motivated to vote red, but if we get enough of them to not vote at all, because they believe that votes are rigged, then blue continues to win the state and we can keep the red people motivated to fundraise indefinitely.
Oh yeah, I can absolutely see that.
Losing is winning, in a sense.
Well, I mean, this was the thing that people said about Roe v. Wade for as long as it lasted, was that, oh yeah, Republicans never want to overturn Roe because they're fundraising off of it, and if it ever got repealed, then the shoe would go to the other foot, and the Democrats would be the motivated party when it comes to abortion.
And then Republicans, oh shit, they caught the car!
They managed to overturn Roe!
And then, oh no, the money spigot for the Democrats opened up, I don't believe it!
And it's like, yeah, that's how this works, is that when you achieve your goal, it pisses off the other side, and it also kind of placates you.
Like, Republicans and right-wing grifters, Oh, yeah.
a lot better on the defense. They do a lot worse playing offense. Like Alex Jones wants a democrat to be president
for forever. As much as Q as much as QAnon love the God Emperor.
They love being sad more. They love evil Biden doing evil Biden
things to them, because they get to talk about it and be like,
Oh, it's so bad what Biden's doing. He makes me so mad. But one of these days we're gonna get him. So I mean, it's just
that that setup is just really conducive to like making losing
a solid plan for these people.
Yeah, unfortunately, happiness writes white.
Am I right, guys?
So let's get angry and stay hatin'.
All right.
Unfortunately, we do have to move on so that we can hit the rest of the nonsense headlines for the week.
But it's good to see that Arizona is really still out there doing its thing, by which I mean just being I can't believe there's not a Fallout expansion set in post, like the waste Arizona, where it's just like, oh, you guys hasn't really changed all that much.
And they're just like, yeah, we did all right.
We were far enough away from anything of relevance that we didn't get nuked and we were all pretty crazy to begin with.
So some of us have skin that is falling off now, but aside from that, same old shit.
Yeah.
So the California New Republic never tried to deal with Arizona in those games, because I know that they existed.
In my headcanon now, they just let Arizona be, because they were just like, what's in Arizona?
No.
Besides heat.
Yeah.
So Vegas, Fallout New Vegas stayed in Vegas.
They didn't dare tread into the dangerous wilds of Arizona.
No, because again, why?
We have a Vegas right here.
Yes.
Anyway, Mike, let me ask you a question.
OK.
Is there a war in Russia?
I, I would be led to believe, yes, that there is a war in Russia going on.
However, former like literal part of administrations like under Obama and Trump, General Michael Flynn, apparently not so sure if there's a war going on in Ukraine or not.
Also, military and foreign policy expert Cat Turd 2 on ye olde Twitter machine, one of Elon's besties, Cat Turd posted a thing about how, where is the video documenting the war in Ukraine?
I haven't seen any of it.
It's literally everywhere.
What?
Yeah, go on TikTok.
You can't miss it.
If I'm on Twitter for more than five minutes, I'm seeing some Russian get exploded.
Yeah, don't go on Telegram.
You'll see.
Yeah.
I can't scroll TikTok for more than a minute without getting, like, here's an update on the war in Ukraine.
And I have to source the information, but so far it's been pretty spot on.
Literally watched a video from a college girl, still in Ukraine, showing her neighborhood and how bombed out it is.
Yeah.
If you go on Reddit, you can find this subreddit where it's literally just, do you want to watch, like, grenades falling on Russians?
Because that's what we have!
We have the channel of just drones dropping grenades.
Yeah, because the drones that are dropping their grenades also just come equipped with cameras, so you get real time.
Dude, it's like, it was recorded live, check this shit out, this drone, Turns four Russian men into no Russian men.
Four Russian men into four Russian corpses.
Boom.
Look at that.
Yeah, it's like you, we literally have, if you want snuff films, basically, if you just want to see actual murder on the internet, it's everywhere.
It's omnipresent.
This, as one of the people, because I posted Michael Flynn's comment, and it got picked up by literally everyone, much more respectable people than me were like, holy shit, Michael Flynn, what is wrong with you?
They were pointing out that this is the most documented war in human history.
Every little bit of this.
Ukrainians have smartphones.
They're in the trenches videotaping themselves.
All of this information is everywhere.
The drones have cameras.
Because that is reconnaissance, is having cameras on your drones so you can see where your enemies are.
And then when you find them, you drop your grenades on them.
And that video can be uploaded to show people, hey, Ukraine is killing Russians.
keeping our morale high, making Russians look bad and demoralizing them.
Please keep money coming into us so we can kill more Russians and win this war.
Okay, but Mike, can I talk you down from war to special military operation?
Fair, fair.
I will accept filament.
I forgot that we are a pro-Putin, aggressively pro-Russia podcast, and therefore we must always refer to what's going on in Ukraine.
Look at this special military operation.
We can fit so many dead Russians into this.
Bangs top.
Oh man, so many of these.
It's not a war though.
It's the special military operation at the end of which is going to be like 300,000 people die.
The war between the Russians themselves, they've made the most gains in the north, but That's despite them not sending ammunition to their forces in the north.
I don't remember the name of the type of people they have fighting up there, but like Russia is just like, we don't want to send them artillery rounds.
And it's like, really?
They're the only ones getting anything done.
The Wagner group?
All the ex-cons and murderers?
Yeah, the Wagner group.
That's basically almost a militia.
It's almost mercenary.
Because they don't recruit regular people.
They're the expendables.
It's literally that kind of stuff.
It's suicide squad shit.
You do this work, you get out of jail earlier.
And that's why Russia proper is giving them all these weapons.
Because they might just turn around and leave.
And start trying to take over Russian cities.
And also, it really makes you wonder, you know, like...
Well, wonder's not the right word.
Appreciate, where they're just like, hey, guess what?
We're pretty sure that Russia's doing some war crimes.
And it's just like, yeah, man.
Part of their team on the field is fucking criminals.
Actual, fresh out of jail, like, hey, we'll take 20 years off your murder sentence if you fight Ukraine for us.
And it's just like, really?
They're doing war crimes?
I don't believe it.
They seem like such upstanding people that were on death row in a Siberian prison.
Russia's stealing Ukrainian children?
That one's still, like...
Fucking unnerves me to the core.
I mean, but, you know, in their defense, like, the adrenochrome that comes out of a kid who just saw his parents blown to pieces in a war, or a special military operation.
Yeah, how is QAnon not going wild over that?
We know for a fact Russia is stealing Ukrainian children.
Because Russia are the good guys, so we're not going to talk about that right now.
If Russia ever becomes the bad guys, then they will paint this part of history with a way different brush.
Yep. L knows exactly how this works.
Look, this is the kind of thing your side can do no wrong.
The other side can do no right, period.
Look, all this kind of stuff, when the Dominion discovery leaked,
When all of Russia's war crimes are brought up, if they're addressed at all by QAnon, it is a false flag, it is deep state propaganda, it is all lies.
They operate entirely from that position that we're doing the good thing and anyone who says otherwise is wrong and is lying about it.
The documented atrocities Russia is committing is just avoided, absolutely avoided by QAnon and QAnon promoters who just keep promoting the whole thing that this is a righteous war and Putin's doing it to conquer the biolabs that gave us COVID, even though maybe there's not a war going on right now.
But if there was a war going on, it's absolutely because of the West trying to poison us with Global bioweapon, so... Yeah, what are they gonna do now that the Wall Street Journal's reporting that, yeah, maybe it came out of a lab in China?
Well... Yeah, I saw the headline about this, about how the FBI is now backing the lab leak theory, and my first thought when I read that headline was, oh boy.
Yeah.
Here we go.
Oh no.
God damn it.
Joe Rogan's gonna talk about this.
Yep.
Yeah, so the LabLeak thing came out again because the Department of Energy made, which this isn't even their Ballywick.
Why the Department of Energy is getting involved in airborne pathogens is very confusing to me.
But they came out with a report that literally said they have low confidence in the LabLeak hypothesis.
But the Wall Street Journal just plastered it on there.
DOE says LabLeak is what happened.
Now, the important thing about the Lab Leak Conspiracy Theory is that the people that are promoting it are not promoting it honestly.
Because if you actually talk to people that talk about the Lab Leak Theory, it is literally just people were working with a virus in a lab, and one thing led to another, and one of them went home with having contracted COVID from the work they had there at work.
They were brought it home.
Next thing you know, COVID happened.
Whenever you hear lab leak from QAnon or any right wing shithead, they mean bioweapon.
They mean deliberate attack by the shy comms to try to destroy the world.
And that is what any of these grifters mean when they say that.
They're not talking about some innocent scientist accidentally brought COVID home with them, and one thing led to another.
And And I actually got into the weeds on this stuff.
And the thing is, is that the wet market is literally ground zero.
And it is incredibly obvious.
If you map out COVID cases, it started here.
It started at the wet market.
It did not start at the lab, which was far away from that.
Someone said it would be basically like saying there's two competing theories about where this came from.
One is that it came from the Bronx.
Bronx. The other one said it came from Manhattan. And all the physical evidence we have points to
the Bronx. They're like, the Manhattan truth. They're like, no, this was Manhattan, damn it.
Absolutely. It's just like, because Americans don't know Wuhan, like these two places are
separated by a good amount of distance. And we have a lot of evidence that the,
from the market is where it spread from initially.
And if you want to argue that evidence and you want to have a go with it, that's fine.
That's your prerogative.
But you have to deal with it.
You have to deal with the fact that the stall where it came from is something that people knew we were worried about it happening beforehand.
I've never listened to evidence and I'm not going to start now, Mike.
Okay, fair, fair.
I'm sorry.
The Department of Energy and maybe the FBI, I feel like they were roped in there too.
I feel like it was like, I think I saw that a couple of agencies had this low confidence idea and that that was giving this thing some sort of like extra weight that it shouldn't have at all.
They're just like, we don't know man, maybe it was the lab leak, whatever.
They're just like, come on, shut up.
As soon as I saw that headline, I was just like, oh no, I'm gonna have to listen to clips of Joe Rogan.
Like, mumbling his way through this.
The only clips of Joe Rogan anybody should be listening to are AI-generated clips of Joe Rogan.
I just saw one of those today, and it was him.
The AI clips of Joe Rogan and Ben Shapiro just talking about shit are fucking... they just really make me bust up.
The Ratatouille one's still...
Still just makes me laugh thinking about it.
It's so funny.
I saw that one, because I had told you I had seen the one about the beach that makes you get old last week on the pod, and you were like, find the Ratatouille one, and I saw that one.
So now I'm two for two on Joe Rogan, Ben Shapiro, AI conversations.
Yeah, the writing on Ben Shapiro in those is just so, he's just so perfectly petulant.
Yes!
In our group chat, I linked the one where Ben Shapiro is schooling Obama, Trump, and Biden on their top five animes.
It's just such a weird trend to be happening right now.
It's just like, hey, use AI to make the president say weird stuff.
The Trump and Biden ones are scary good.
Like, Biden stumbles a little more when he talks.
That's just like how he talks, so I know it's not him.
But, and I guess Trump stumbles a lot too.
But man, the Trump one, the Trump AI voice is just bang on.
Like, the Obama one's not as great, but I'm weirdly invested in the Trump-Biden-Obama-Minecraft-Server AI voice TikToks that I watch.
I think a lot of it is because it makes you really appreciate how much of what Obama's, like, public speaking Like Gravitas was his cadence.
Not necessarily the way his voice sounds, but the meter and rhythm of his voice.
And that part is hard for AI to replicate.
You can get the tone and stuff down, but...
There's no replicating the way the man talks, at least not yet.
But AI is getting scary good, so who knows?
Yeah.
Maybe inside of our lifetime, we won't need any more stupid actors.
We can just watch all the same actors from our past being, you know, recreated digitally forever.
Who wants Harrison Ford in every movie for the next 200 years?
It's going to be real fun in the Republican primaries coming up.
Trump's going to be saying all sorts of wild shit.
Oh, we talked about that, how it's inevitable in 2024, they're going to make Biden say the N-word, and they're going to try to pretend that he really said it.
I mean, this is just going to be this thing where it's like, Biden's racism confirmed!
And it's just going to be this shit, and you know Elon's not going to censor it on Twitter.
Elon's going to promote it.
Elon's going to be like, hey, this is probably fake, but I don't know!
I just wanted to share it as a technical showcase.
I'm not political.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Oh my God, exactly.
That's going to be... Hair plugs?
What hair plugs?
Mangled penis.
One million United States dollars, etc.
You know the deal, Elon.
Your penis is so mangled.
Hey, Elon put this on himself when he said that even the slightest glance of his penis could have you write it down, just make a beautiful sketch of it, perfectly like one-to-one to what his penis actually looks like.
So it's on you, buddy, that you have like some sort of weird medusa between your legs that could literally just- It looks like the Toxic Avenger's big toe.
Yes!
So that's a word picture you painted there?
It looks like Pickle Rick.
But it doesn't talk like him anymore.
They have to recast that.
I can't wait to get the slightly off version of Rick and Morty.
It's gonna be great.
Can't wait to hear the voice lines where it's like 99% there but the 1% is maddening.
Anyway, enough of this horseshit.
This sort of horseshit we usually say for our mailbag segment or for the segment before the boosh, and we're not neither of those.
Or are we?
Our listeners got questions, we got answers.
It's time for Q and A.
That's right.
Perfect segue into our mailbag segment, where, as I mentioned, we will talk about whatever we want to.
And we may even answer some of your questions.
That may happen.
Mebad asks, what's the better propaganda slash fake college, PragerU or Hillsdale College?
I've never heard of Hillsdale College.
Have you heard of that, Hayley?
Um, I've seen it.
I think we have some here, but it's definitely PragerU.
Yeah, Sarge, have you ever heard of Hillsdale?
I haven't heard of either of these.
Have you ever heard of Prager?
Oh my god.
Yeah, PragerU is a very famous right-wing... Oh my god, Haas!
Oh my god!
Yes!
Oh my god, you're innable!
Uh, well, do I want to Google it?
You've seen it.
You've seen porn videos.
You've seen influencers from PragerU.
You've seen Dennis Prager representing PragerU saying dumb shit.
You stupid fucking idiot!
I can't believe you did that!
I love when a situation like this occurs.
It happens with my friend groups all the time where one person somehow is out of the loop on some small thing.
You know who Dennis Prager is?
And everybody's incredulity is just like, I'm a fucking moron!
Yeah, I see the Southern Poverty Law Center is writing about him, so he must be great.
Anyway, I've never heard of the other one either, so that means that three of us- so Sarge has not heard of either of them, Haley has heard of both of them, and Mike Rades and I have only heard of Prager, so I think that Prager wins.
Yeah.
Dennis Prager was in 2000 Mules.
He played the doubting Thomas character.
He was the guy that was telling Charlie Kirk and Seb Gorka, guys, this would be the biggest thing ever, but I just need more evidence.
Oh, yeah, he was playing the secret 2001st Mule, the one that you have to you have to surf next to the S.S.
Anne and then you drive down the pickup truck.
I'm looking at a list of some videos hosted on PragerU.
And yeah, they're real bangers.
We've got Are the Police Racist by Heather MacDonald, Blacks Empowered, Don't Empower Blacks, hosted by Jason Reilly.
Does it count as a seminar if you just go there and they just go up to the podium and go, yes, and then leave?
Save possibly the best for last, are some cultures better than others, hosted by Dinesh D'Souza?
Oh, I'm so shocked they got not a white person to do the, is white culture better than everybody else's culture one?
Oh, that was one they were just like, Like Dennis Prager or some other white guy, like Ben Shapiro or Charlie Kirk or some other white guy was going to do that one.
And they were like, wait, wait, wait, no, no, no, no, no.
Having a white guy saying white culture's good is bad luck.
Dinesh will do anything.
Get Dinesh in there.
The Riven Report has hosted such guests as Milo Yiannopoulos and Paul Joseph Watson.
Wow.
Okay.
Clarence Thomas was faculty at Hillsdale, but also Pat Sajak is a notable trustee, so... Pat's a terrible Republican, if you didn't know that.
Oh, really?
Yeah, Pat Sajak's a crazy reporter.
He spins the wheel!
I know.
Him and Chuck Woolery are our game show hosts who got pilled.
It's really bad.
But what about this model of Vanna White?
Yeah, what's she about?
I haven't seen anything from Vanna.
Vanna plays it tight to the vest.
If she's pilled, she hasn't let it out there, so that's good.
She's probably insane.
I mean, thanks to the power of Phyrexia technology, she looks great for her age.
She's at her 60s now, right?
Yeah.
She's had like four kids, I think.
Like, yeah, Veta White, like, got caught on real early that, hey, no one needs to know my opinions on anything.
And like, you're untouchable if no one knows what you think.
Yep.
Just keep pointing at them letters.
That's all that matters.
Yeah.
They, I was trying to think.
Damn, she does still look good.
I remember when PragerU like first started and basically they pretended that they were serious for like five minutes because they actually this is the one thing PragerU actually did that was honest.
They actually had a video about is this was the Civil War about slavery and they said yes.
And then, like, two videos after that, it was just sort of, are liberals terrible?
Yes.
And I was like, fuck!
Goddammit, PragerU, you were setting me up!
I was so close to buying in!
I mean, that's why, at least they got that one critical part.
What the cause of the Civil War was is a real touchy, nuanced subject, so I'm glad they finally came to the conclusion that it was about slavery.
I feel like a lot of people go on a journey with the Civil War where you come out of public school and you're like, it was about slavery, and then you have a period where someone maybe in college or Like, now the internet says it wasn't about slavery, it was more nuanced, and then you just come back all the way around again, and it's like, it was about slavery.
See, I never had that journey.
The nuances of slavery.
I started sort of, sort of pilled, because again, I grew up in Georgia.
So like, I went to the Confederacy Museum and shit like that, and I was just like, Yeah!
The Civil War!
Heroic Confederates!
And then as soon as I developed enough brain to know what racism was, I was just like, oh, it was about slavery.
And then when I got to high school and some people were trying to talk to me about the other side, they were just like, nah man, it was about states' rights.
I'd just be like, states' rights to do what, motherfucker?
STATES' RIGHTS TO DO WHAT?!
Yeah, exactly.
It was about economics.
It was all economics.
The economics of slavery.
It's not about slavery, we just don't want the government coming in and telling us what stuff we can and can't own.
And this is just like stuff including... That's not true.
Stuff involving... people... yeah, that's called slavery, you dickheads.
You stupid fucks.
Yeah, no, I went on a little journey where I was like, oh, it's not about slavery.
It was about all these other things, and like, slavery was a part of it, and then, you know, I came back around.
Yeah, it's okay.
In my early 20s, I thought ladder theory was a thing.
We were all crappy, shitty 20-somethings, and now we're hopefully better people.
Yeah, there's a point where you think Fight Club is like the deepest shit in the world.
Yeah, I was 12.
There's a midwit meme that is like what you said, Sarge, where the person with the moron IQ says, it was about slavery.
And then when you get to the mean IQ level about the Civil War, it's like a paragraph of bullshit.
And then when you get to the genius level of the Civil War, it was, it's about slavery.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So thank you for the question.
Clinton Zero asks, it seems the QAnon conspiratorial mindset has gotten, quote unquote, into the water, so to speak, in a lot of Republican discourse.
Do you know of any QAnon tropes that haven't entered the right wing mainstream yet?
The right wing hasn't debated JFK or JFK Jr.
being alive.
So, like, that's a good one.
I don't think a lot of Republicans have talked about, like, hundreds of thousands of sealed indictments or any shit like that.
They tend to stay away from the more moon man stuff.
They like all the racism and how it fires up the base, but they tend to stay away.
It seems like they stay away from the stuff that makes them look like idiots and makes for great sound bites.
Weirdly, nobody seems to mention the time that Hillary Clinton got her passport revoked and then arrested on precisely that date and time that Q gave us back before they realized that they couldn't give us exact dates or times.
They were just like, she's going down tomorrow, son, you better believe it.
And then when you look back on that, it's just like, oh, this was before you were like a political movement where you were just like writing a funny story.
Yeah, this is pretty fun to watch at this point.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
It's really funny reading the first couple of Q-drops where Hillary's password is being flagged.
U.S.
Marshals have detained her but have not arrested her yet.
And I just, I love the idea of that.
I love the idea of U.S.
Marshals, like, holding this woman who has committed Unbelievably unfathomable crimes, but they're waiting for the call from their boss to cuff her and stuff her.
And then eventually, after like, I don't know, like three hours, they're like, oh, well, Hillary, you get to go free.
The charges won't stick.
She's like, I'm gonna carve your face!
I'm gonna carve your face!
Oh man, those marshals, they knew.
Because they saw the video.
The video no one else can see, but they saw it.
They know the truth.
If only one day the truth could come out.
We could stop that evil witch.
I'm gonna carve you like a turkey.
Oh god, Hillary sounds like the evil manager of Ivan Krushamal.
She's definitely, she's gonna turn her back on America.
That's gonna be her brilliant heel turn.
Man, I'm glad that you remembered Ivan Krushamal, because I totally forgot about Ivan Krushamal.
I remember the gobbledygooker.
Yes.
So really, I think most of what the right wing wants from QAnon is the anti-vax bullshit and the election fraud bullshit, because they see that stuff as motivating to their base.
It also just goes with the times, right?
Right.
Like coronavirus, like pandemic is happening.
It's the anti-vax stuff.
Pandemic starts to abate.
It becomes more about the political shit again.
Like, you know, Yeah, whatever's good at the moment is, whatever can get people riled up, that's what they're gonna go with.
like three hot days, it's about guns.
They just, you know, they just sort of go with the times.
They mutate.
Yeah.
Yeah, whatever's good at the moment is, whatever can get people riled up,
that's what they're gonna go with.
They're just gonna work with that as long as it doesn't involve actually having
to present evidence of the shit they're talking about.
Or if they can get hit with a $1.6 billion lawsuit from Dominion, then maybe they'll back down from that, so.
Yeah, they used to know what it was, and then they changed what it was.
And it'll happen to you!
Yes, exactly!
And apparently it's not illegal to give one side the other side's campaign ads before they've been released?
Yeah, that was, uh, I didn't have enough like information on that to really talk about it.
But yeah, the whole thing where Fox News was giving the Biden campaign ads to Jared Kushner to look at them before they aired on Fox News.
It's like, you know, maybe you're not a news network so much as you are a Republican propaganda arm.
Because that is what you actually are.
I mean, it makes me laugh so much when Trump or QAnon is like, Fox News is just as bad as the rest of them!
And Fox is like, we do everything we can!
Please love us.
We give you Tucker.
We'll say anything.
We kiss Trump's ass 24 seven.
Please love us.
And you just got like these QAnon people going, we're going to right side broadcasting or OAN because they're giving us the real truth and Fox News is bullshit.
And it's just like, because we had to call the election for Biden because that's what reality was.
We're sorry.
We're sorry that we have to be based in reality.
That's just your opinion, man.
He's not my president.
I'm still too.
Daddy!
Daddy!
Haley just sent me a photo of Governor Katie Hobbs all face-tatted up because she's part of the Sonola cartel.
So that's definitely what's going on here.
How many people do you think she's decapitated?
Two?
Three hundred?
She's definitely decapitated.
Do you think she has two of those like super cool engraved pistols?
Absolutely!
I watched a video on a guy who does that and like It was actually really cool.
There's this old man and he works in his son's taco shop during the day, and at night he engraves pistols.
That's awesome.
I'm really proud that Hobbes waited until she got elected so she could get the Gov Hobbes knuckle tats.
Throw that up to the camera, let everybody know she's the governor.
Alright everybody, now it's time for us to do our best impersonation of a Mexican gang leader.
Sarge, go.
Alright, hold on.
Can I pick up this?
I have to channel the Taco Bell dog.
I was around when they still did racist ads.
Do you think the Taco Bell dog was a gang member?
Absolutely!
Just like Machete.
Taco Bell is an industry of gangsters.
Do I think the Taco Bell dog was a gangster?
Absolutely!
That dog was connected.
I don't know, I sort of expected that he was more like the first Mandarin in Iron Man 3, like the one where it's just like he's all bluster, like on camera he seems great, but then behind the scenes you're just like, oh my god, it's a Taco Bell dog!
And you're just like, spill the wine!
And he's just like, no thank you, chap!
That's for when I'm on duty, sir!
I'm so old, and I'm a huge nerd, but you said he was like the first Mandarin, and I was like, why is he talking about an orange?
And like, I've lost the thread so hard there for a solid half second.
Wow, Sarge.
I have never talked about an orange in my life.
You know this.
How dare you.
How dare you accuse me of this.
Cleodora Silvestri asks, considering the amount of cash Mike Lindell has blown on chasing conspiracies, failed lawsuits he initiated, and active lawsuits against him from Dominion, and yet he's not bankrupt, which billionaire or nation is most likely funneling cash through him to sow chaos?
Russia.
100% Russia's giving him money.
If he needed to get propped up by somebody, Russia would absolutely see him as a chaos agent.
Elon actually has an entire house of MyPillow.
It's just like, the whole house is lined with MyPillow, so Elon.
Are you saying you want to go with house and not fort?
Yeah, it's a pillow fort house mansion.
It's a MyPillow fort house mansion.
That's where he tweets from.
Yes!
I think I've told this story on the pod before where my partner's mother was just like, Now, some of our pillows are my pillows, and we know you guys don't like them, so you don't have to use them if you don't want to, and we're like, they're pillows, you already bought them, it's fine.
We probably wouldn't even know if you hadn't told us.
Yeah, in general, I think most of the time I'd be pretty confused if I was over at somebody's house and they were just like, oh yeah, just a heads up, these are my pillows.
Yeah, man, I know.
Like, I'm at your house.
Like, I'm not trying to take these with me.
What the fuck are you talking about?
And it's like, no, these are, like, the brand, MyPillows.
And I'd be like, oh, who cares?
I thought you were trying to tell me not to steal your pillows like a fucking crazy person.
Yeah, I don't know how much more damage I could do to that brand than he's already done to himself.
Like, he's burned so much money.
Yeah, but if he's listening to this, he should give us some of that money before it dries up.
Yes.
Dude, I will say that your pillow is the bomb diggity.
I'll say that your pillow cured my impotence for the right price.
For the right price, I will feign an impotence that your pillow has cured.
I'm like, dude, these pillows get me so fucking rock hard, you wouldn't even know.
Can't help but lay on these pillows and wanna fuck.
My pillow makes me want to fuck.
Yeah, that's the campaign they're looking for, right?
Promo code Mysterious L. There you go.
Promo code Hard L. Yes!
I mean, do stores even carry them anymore?
I think they're at, like, Kohl's and that's it.
No, because they kept having to kick me out.
They just got rid of the displays because they figured it wasn't worth it.
Yes.
It got real embarrassing to take you to Bed Bath & Beyond.
I didn't know how you were going to land that one, but you got there.
I barely choked it out before laughing at my own joke.
God, I'm such a narcissist.
I think I'm the greatest.
Hey, we've often said that El has an audience of one, and that's him.
So if it makes El laugh, it works.
Yeah, I mean, dude, if that's the case, then standing ovation every night.
So thank you for the question.
Ken Stacknick, who told me how to say his name, so I got it right this week, says, Sir Freddy Potatoes wants to know what is your favorite swashbuckling movie or show?
And Freddy this week is dressed up like he's in Chainmail, like a little knight.
OK, so that's intentional.
When I saw this photo, I was just like, oh, look, he's in a sweatshirt that sort of looks like a wee Chainmail.
Yes.
Very photogenic dog.
Swashbuckling, One Piece.
It's got to be.
Pirates, swashbuckling, Spongebob, as in swear pants.
Okay, but are either of those things actually buckle and swash?
Yeah!
The Flying Dutchman episodes.
He's a pirate!
Yeah, that's the only thing I know about One Piece.
But he's also Mr. Fantastic and he's fighting guys who turn into dinosaurs that are also cyborgs and stuff.
It's not exactly like your classic swashbuckling tale, you know?
In fact, he cannot be in the water.
No, it's ironic.
It's a cool weakness for him to have.
Is One Piece good?
Should I dedicate my entire life to watching it?
No, if you want to absorb One Piece, you should read it instead of watching it.
Yeah, read it, and I think someone does One Piece abridged on YouTube or something.
That's fun.
You can speed read it.
You can read it on the Shounen Jump app for like $2 a month.
There's a thousand chapters and you can just read it.
It is a Shounen Ash Shounen that took over the world.
I don't know if it's my favorite one.
It's certainly more swashbuckly than the other two, for sure.
And it is a deep cut that I'm going to represent here on the show, as is my way, and that is... Pirates of Dark Water.
I knew it.
I knew it!
What was the parrot monkey's name?
You'll never get me to say that.
It's secret knowledge that of course I do remember, but I'm not going to tell you.
Name?
Two characters.
Captain Guy and his sidekick, The Lady.
I just remember the aesthetic was so cool, and the toy line was really great, and it just looked the part.
I don't think I actually was in a position to watch it when I was a kid, because I remember it aired at weird times.
So I never actually got to see any of it in chronological order until I was an adult, and even then only a few episodes.
But God, it just looked so cool.
It made me want to watch it really bad as a kid.
Right.
Because it just looked like a classic, you know, swashbuckling adventure tale.
You had dudes like fucking...
Like, using their knife to cut down sails and, you know, fighting big dudes with hooks for hands and shit.
We were looking for Wren, Tula, and Niddler.
Niddler was the monkey bird.
Yeah, I'm not gonna say that for a variety of reasons.
That's plenty of fire right there.
Yes.
So I don't really know that I have like a show that I know of that's very swashbuckly because the only kind of pirates thing I can even think about on the top of my head that I've got into was Pirates of the Caribbean, which is whatever.
I mean, the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie is like an all time classic.
It's still to this day.
So don't be ashamed about the first one, bud.
Yeah, yeah.
But, uh, there was an old-timey computer game called Pirates that was the kind of game where... Oh, yeah!
Sid Meier's Pirates.
Yeah, Sid Meier's Pirates, where they had the log-in, you had to tell them what the seventh word in the fourth paragraph on page 46 of the manual was.
That was the proof that you bought it thing.
So I remember... Yeah, old-school copyright protection.
Yes, yeah, the old-school copyright protection.
What was the word?
Who knows?
You don't remember?
No.
No, I do not.
Because it asks you a different word every time.
Every time.
Oh, that's smart.
It was brutal.
It would be like page five.
It would be like page five, fourth paragraph, third word.
They bounced you around like a ping pong ball.
The thing was, if you got one word right, you could just like punch it in a million times and just hope it finally let you in.
But it's better to just buy the goddamn game and just be happy that way.
I remember Alone in the Dark had a little wheel.
That you had to like spin like a code wheel that you had to spin.
I remember that kind of stuff.
I remember code wheel.
Yeah, you got your Green Lantern ring and you had to use that shit to crack open the game.
So, for modern stuff, I mean, I don't know that it fits the exact genre of piracy and stuff like that, but the Horizon series of games are pretty swashbuckly because you're running around with a spear, just murdering everything you can, and you're fighting with primitive technology.
So I do, and I love those games, so if you give me any excuse to slip those games in, I will.
Which I'm sure those games should be, like, cancelled because they're woke as hell because the protagonist is a woman!
Boo!
Okay, I'll change my answer from One Piece to the Assassin's Creed where you play as a pirate.
That was one of the funner ones, so...
There we go.
That certainly seems a lot more swashbuckly than One Piece.
One Piece is like a superhero show.
Don't get me wrong, I love One Piece.
I'm caught up through the watermark, but... Yeah, uh, Assassin's Creed Black Flag?
Question mark?
Yes.
There was a good spinoff that I don't remember the name of, but yes, there was another one set in the pirate times.
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum, etc.
Genuinely one of the fun ones.
So Leach from Buffalo and Pancake Peasants have two questions that piggyback off each other, which is what happened to Sidney Powell slash Lin Wood?
They're back on Twitter.
Is Sidney back on Twitter?
I don't know, but I know Lin is.
Yeah, Lin's back.
Lin's back on Twitter.
He's still a crank.
He's an idiot.
He basically lost a lot of his juice in the QAnon movement when he ran for the chair of South Carolina's Republican Party and got unceremoniously crushed.
And he's just been flailing.
I mean, the guy He just doesn't have it anymore because nobody buys into him because he and Sidney were the Kraken.
They were going to bring down the deep state.
They were going to give us justice.
And this is the biggest problem with getting into QAnon.
When you're someone who's like actually in the arena, when you're actually an elected official or someone who has the ability to bring forth lawsuits, when you are in a situation where you could actually put up or shut up.
The last thing you should ever do is be like, I'm going to go full QAnon because eventually you're going to get into a spot where people are going to be like, okay, time to, time to put up, time to, time to take down the deep state, time to do it.
I mean, there were plenty of times during the Cyber Monkeys, the Cyber Ninjas audit.
Cyber Monkeys, that'll be the second one.
Yeah, I know, the Cyber Monkeys.
I get, because Ron Watkins is code monkey, so it just, Those two things merge in my brain all the time.
But yeah, when the Cyber Ninjas audit was going on and Wendy Rogers was like screaming and yelling about how we got him on the run, we're going to do it this time.
And then nothing happened.
People were like, Hey, Wendy, are you just going to ask us to retweet you?
Or are you actually going to get a proof that Biden stole this election?
What's going on, Wendy?
And now the same thing's happening to her after that horrible libel slander hearing where she's disavowing it and suddenly the true believers are like, but Wendy!
You're where we go when we go all!
You're supposed to be super-pilled!
Why are you disavowing this lady saying that the governor is part of a Mexican drug cartel?
What's wrong?
You're supposed to be our girl!
That's what happened to Powell and Wood, was they released the Kraken.
The Kraken was defeated very quickly with little incident and fanfare.
Off camera, just like Pirates of the Caribbean.
Yes!
We didn't have the budget for that.
We had to pay Bill Knight.
Just imagine the cool fight against the Kraken that eventually killed it.
Yes.
So that's basically what happened.
And now Lin Wood and Sidney Powell are yesterday's news.
And in, I don't know, a year after Durham releases a report in two or three months and the Republicans wave the report around and go, Oh, Durham saw a lot of corruption.
Ooh, we're going to have to have some hearings about this.
And make that sound of people sound from Star Wars.
Yes.
Damn right.
And then... Oh, we don't do that anymore.
That's racist.
And then Durham will vanish into the wilderness to forget and be forgotten, and they'll get a new disposable hero who's totally gonna get the deep state this time!
And on and on and on.
So it will forever go, because that's how the scam operates.
Race us against hooves, Sarge.
No, and that's the joke.
But it could be racist.
Are you sure?
I wanted to put the squeeze.
I need to see.
What race exactly would you say those people are like?
If you had to guess.
Spiky-headed people?
It's so subtle.
I mean, just like most of George Lucas' depictions, the guys from the Trade Federation in the prequels, the ones who were blockading Naboo or whatever, who could tell?
Oh, yeah.
They could be representing any race.
What's the big deal?
Just like JK Rowling's goblins.
It could be anything.
Yeah, it could be anything.
They're just short people with big noses.
Don't worry about it.
They love money.
And operate banks.
Don't worry about it.
Don't worry about it.
And the House Elves love being slaves.
It's weird if you want to emancipate them.
That is so strange that a character would look at slavery and think it wrong.
And then on page 140 of that one book, Ron Weasley is just like, hey Harry, how many genders are there?
And then Harry Potter responds, two.
It's sort of weird that you would even ask that, that they both have five.
It's so weird.
It's just like, everyone's like, wow, real surprised.
Real surprised by the way it turned out.
We thought that was kind of strange, but when I was reading it at 14, I just sort of glossed over that part.
I really want people to go through it now and find out that there were a bunch of Slytherin who were trans.
It's weird that all the people Jake doesn't like go into the evil house of evil.
It's just, oh man, so funny.
The Sorting Hat has determined that you have kissed someone of your same gender.
Slytherin!
Slytherin it is!
Do you believe in the Christian God?
No?
Slytherin!
Yeah.
Round Earth!
Slytherin!
Straight to Slytherin!
The story hat knows the score!
This sorting hat is really pilled.
Yes!
Yeah.
Well, I mean, in the movie they changed it, in the books it was actually a red baseball cap.
But for the movies they changed it up.
That was weird, like, so many years before... Yeah, it was really prescient.
They needed to stop, they couldn't put that on film because conservators would see it as proof of actual witchcraft.
J.K.
Rowling couldn't get her billions of dollars on her platform to talk about trans people.
I mean, had it been an actual red baseball cap, fucking so many QAnon people's heads would have exploded.
I mean, where the fuck are they for, what is it, Mighty Max?
I'm pretty sure our boy Mighty Max is a red baseball cap, right?
Yeah, they're right there with you and me, the only two people who remember Mighty Max.
Dude, there have to be weird fuck conservative 30-somethings, right, that remember Mighty Max?
Yeah, they're all over, like, geeks and gamers in the quartering.
Yeah, dude, I bet they're just be like, hey, look at Mighty Max, perfect show, no color representation at all, big white knight guy, owl person, Caucasian Mighty Max, deal sick.
That was the America they wanted to bring us back.
When they were talking about Great America, that was it.
It was Magic Hat America.
Yeah.
I was so gonna say that the hat was red, and then El just took it that extra level of the baseball cap, so I'm so glad that he got to make the joke before I did.
So, thank you.
Thank you.
I love the idea of the sorting hat.
Just sorts anyone who's liberal and brazen.
Just like, the sorting hat.
So, that brings us to our final question, as always.
What are you guys looking forward to?
That's a tough question.
Oh no, it's not really a tough question that I think about.
I have a weekend full of, like, exciting stuff that's going on.
I have D&D I'm running on Friday, then on Saturday I'm playing some sort of, like, big social deduction game that requires enough people to have, like, a party.
I think it's called Blood on the Clocktower or something.
Oh my god, I'm so jealous of you!
Oh, Blood on the Clocktower.
I've been wanting to play that for forever.
I'll let you know how it is.
We're going out of our way to get 10 people together to do it this Saturday.
Oh, God, I'm off on Sundays.
Oh, cancel the Sunday.
Oh, man, I want to play Blood on the Clock Tower so bad.
The problem is all of our Sundays are spoken for because on Sunday I am doing the One Piece card game pre-release with my buddy Nick, Full Circle.
So that means, unfortunately, Saturday is going to be our day for a bloody clock.
If it's Saturday at noon, I can show up for the first game.
No, unfortunately it's going to be Saturday starting at like five, partially because I don't get out of work until three and they're being bros.
No!
Defeated!
Boo!
Yep, get rekt.
That's the price you pay for having your Sunday off, is that your Saturday makes you persona non grata.
Yep, fair, fair.
But yeah, because I actually saw Blood on the Clocktower and I was like, man, this looks so interesting, but you need an army to play it.
And then you were just like, we're doing it!
Like, ah, darn, rats and frats.
So, I hope you enjoy that.
That sounds like it's going to be a ton of fun.
Thanks, mate.
I'm excited that our Blood Bowl, our digital Blood Bowl League, actually, like, is happening.
It got off the ground.
I didn't know if it would happen, but it did.
It reached escape velocity, and we're on our second set of games, so I'm excited to do that.
Well, it helps that we didn't try to wait for any peripheral people.
As soon as we got, like, the five people we knew that, like, had, like, had passing interest in it, it was just like, fire it, fire it immediately!
Like, just, all the rest of them are AI robots, just fire it, make it go!
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, I knew if we waited, it would just, like, start gathering dust.
I was like...
Inertia is a powerful force, is what I'll say.
So yeah.
So you get it moving and now we can tell people, hey, we got this functioning, working Blood Bowl League.
If you'd like to get into it, we can get you in for season two and so on and so on.
Nice.
I'm also sort of excited for that, but we'll see how the team shaves up.
Hayley, what are you excited about?
It's raining right now, so tomorrow I'm going to go look at the snow on the Superstition Mountains.
Cool.
Yeah, I like snow in Arizona.
That's much more healthy than our stuff.
I mean, I'm just not enchanted by snow because we get it pretty frequently.
Oh, it never happens here.
I'm excited.
I mean, watching all that footage of California being like, it's like, here's Pasadena with three inches of snow on it.
I'm just like, wow, those poor people, they must be totally fucked right now.
Yeah.
Also, the Superstition Mountains are full of mystery.
Do you have a cryptid?
Yeah, actually, there's a secret mine from a lost Dutchman.
Oh, yeah.
At night under a full moon, you could hear his wooden shoes.
Yeah.
That's actually kind of cool.
Do you ever go looking for the secret mine?
No, you have there was actually a show on like, The History Channel or something similar, where it was like, search for the Lost Dutchman Mine.
And like, you gotta get really in there to start even getting close.
I don't think I'm built for that.
Oh, like, get lost and die in there?
Yeah, like, you're gonna fry your brain.
You're gonna find a cave that has a pirate ship in it, like the Goonies, and the pirate ship is gonna be called the Mining Dutchman.
Thank you.
Thank you!
Boom.
Nailed it.
Anyway, Mike, what are you excited about, buddy?
Take us home.
I am excited for the fact that I am rank 93.
So I'm seven perilous ranks away from infinite in Marvel Snap.
So I can't never climb that high.
Yeah, I am.
For those of you who don't play, basically, you just get a little like, you don't get anything actually good for doing.
You don't win any cards or anything for making infinite, but you get a knickknack.
And the knick-knack, because it's the Quantum Realm, you can get a card back that's just like an hourglass with blue sand.
But if you make it to Infinite, you get golden sand in your hourglass.
So my desperate quest for the golden sand is perilously close to completion.
Or failure.
One of those two things is going to happen.
My god, Mike.
Man was not meant to reach such heights.
No.
That golden sand was meant as a joke.
No one has ever claimed it before.
And on top of that, I'm also looking forward to the fact that I'm finally getting my teeth cleaned by America's medical system and dentistry.
So yes, the next two weeks I will be receiving what is called a quote-unquote deep clean.
So that's going to be... Good luck.
Yeah, that's going to be enchanting slash painful slash annoying.
But when it's over, hopefully my gum issues that I knew basically I was at the dentist and they were like, you need a deep clean.
And I was like, Oh, okay.
And they were like, we will schedule that for you.
And then the world ended.
Smash cut to now, like three odd years later.
And I was like, Oh, right.
That thing they said I needed to fix.
I should probably have that looked into.
So yeah, finally taking care of situations thanks to the minimal, minimal cost coverage of my alleged dental insurance.
Robust and outstanding.
Excellent.
Well, on that note, it is time for us to flee from Hellworld for the week.
This week, let's say that we're crawling.
We're on our knees and our hands and we're just desperately crawling.
Crawling like skittering babies away from Hellworld for the week.
Yeah, that's right.
That's the head shaking, the mouth agape.
Yeah, that's what I wanted, Sarge.
I was open for that one.
Thank you so much for serving it up.
But thank you, listener, for supporting the show.
You can continue to support the show for free by giving us a five-star review wherever your podcast is provided from or just telling a friend or whatever you'd like.
If you have some money and you want to donate it to the cause, you can do so by visiting our Patreon at patreon.com slash PokerPolitics, where if you donate for $5 or more per month, you get access to our full back catalog of bonus content and any bonus content we produce in the future.
We recommend our series where the whole gang gets together and discusses Q-related pop media, such as Follow the Kabal in our series Kabalin and Out of Shadows and what we do Out of Shadows.
And 2,000 mules in Mules Errand.
All sorts of stuff there.
So thank you so much to our beautiful little babies.
We have a couple of new ones this week.
So here's your shout out, Mike from Connecticut.
Or, well, I guess it says CT.
I should read it as written in case CT stands for something that's not Connecticut.
Cat.
Yeah, cat or... Mike's a cat.
It was Connecticut.
Are you sure it's not Christian Timeline?
Like, this is the one where God really won, you know?
The devil falls.
It could be.
The devil finally got destroyed.
God was like, you know what, I'm tired of fucking around.
It just willed him out of existence because he could do that whenever he wants to.
And Jason S, Beautiful Baby number two, Jason S to speak.
So thank you so much Mike from Connecticut or the Christian Timeline.
And Jason S. Maybe Jason S is also from the Christian Timeline.
Maybe S is for saint.
Look at this mythology I'm building for our Beautiful Babies.
This is the sort of thing you get when you get your shout-out.
I make a mythology for a comic book that's a sequel to Battle Pope, starring you as a heroic time-traveling warrior from the Christian timeline.
Anyway, enough vamping.
If you have money and you don't want to give it to us, you can give it to love146.org.
Thanks as always to DJ Minimal Effort for use of our intro song.
in exploitation sounds like a pretty good use of your money to me or just you
know we believe in you do what you feel is necessary with your money including
but not limited to just spend it on yourself treat yourself you're crushing
it and we believe in you thanks as always the DJ minimal effort for use of
our intro song no social media for DJ minimal effort because he is a real
ding-dong you can find frosty our buddy who does all of our voiceover stuff at
frosty vo on Twitter You can find the show at Hellworld, with a Q instead of an O. You can find myself at HellworldL, spelled the same way.
You can find Sarge at SargenHell.
And you can find Mike at PokerPolitics.
And you can find Hayley, our special ghost.
Our special ghost!
Hayley, tell the people where they can find you on social media.
I'm just ArizonaRightWingWatch, so it's AZ underscore RWW on Twitter.
There we go.
Any gram where you take pictures of your delicious food or anything?
No, I have a sub stack.
It's ArizonaRightWatch, ArizonaRightWingWatch.
There you go.
Stack off with Haley if you want to hear more about the crazy nonsense happening in her home state.
And thank you so much for once again being our Arizona correspondent as a resistance and a madness.
If you're listening to this, if you happen to be a cool liberal that is willing to talk on a podcast, if you live in Florida, God knows we would love to binge your ear sometimes, so reach out to Mike, once again, Twitter, at PokerPolitics.
So for another successful episode of the Adventures in Hellworld podcast, I have been one of your hosts, the mysterious Elle, joined as sometimes by my lovely co-host Sarge, and as frequently by our guest host Haley, aka Arizona Right Wing Watch, and as always our expert in all things QAnon crazy, Mr. Mike Rains.
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