Adventures In HellwQrld Episode #114: GOP Terrorism, Trump loses in court (Again!)
This week we have to deal with a hate crime that QAnon is calling both a false flag and something they agree with. We also get to talk about Trump getting crushed in court yet again and we get to chuckle over Bolsonaro's weird illness and his attempts to fight over his election loss. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
♪♪♪ The Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in depth about QAnon, which means we have to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people.
Listener discretion advised.
Hello, everybody.
I am Mike Rains, a.k.a.
Poker and Politics, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld.
I am joined, as always, by Sarge.
It's me.
I'm here.
Nothing happened this week.
Don't worry about it.
Yep.
And the mysterious Elle.
I got beans, greens, potatoes, tomatoes, my beautiful babies!
That's right, it's Thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving has one song, thanks to that one glorious woman.
I think Shirley Caesar is her name, according to this internet article.
Nice.
Hot!
Dude, you guys should be pumped for Thanksgiving song.
I did not recognize that song, sir.
I've never heard that in my life.
You've never heard that before?
No.
Oh my god, well then after the podcast I'm going to have to educate you because she's got beans, greens, potatoes, and tomatoes.
I don't think I've ever heard that.
Oh wow, it's genuinely great.
I'm going to get educated and we're going to educate our audience about this song.
This is going to be a thing.
I feel like our audience is probably on the internet and knows about this.
I'm genuinely surprised that Sarge doesn't know about it.
Nor do I. And vaguely surprised that Mike doesn't know about it.
Mike's slice of the internet is a little less pop culture plugged in than me and Sarge's.
Dude, the beans, greens, potatoes, and tomatoes have been taken over Thanksgiving for, like, what feels like a decade now.
I can't remember when this thing first dropped, but it feels like it's been forever.
Thanks to COVID time dilation.
Yes.
Reality has become all messed up thanks to COVID.
It's truly the greatest.
I have no concept of when anything has ever happened.
Well, anyway, now that I'm leading off the podcast by confusing my co-hosts with a reference that
somehow went over both of their heads, and like, again, a reference that I thought for sure was
going to be a dunker. You, well, you, at the very least, you knew that I lived under a rock and it
was possible I would miss this, but Sarge not being on the same wavelength was the stunner.
That was the shock.
That usually doesn't happen.
Sarge and I are usually pretty brave wave simpatico on stuff like this, which is why when I make a Cadillacs and Dinosaurs reference, he's not in the weeds.
I read the wiki for that recently.
Yeah, of course you did.
And yet you still somehow haven't seen any of the YouTube videos, TikToks, or Vines featuring the lady rapping about her beans, greens, potatoes, and tomatoes.
Anyway, what a time to be alive.
It's Thanksgiving, and I'm giving thanks for this wonderful intro to our show.
Yes.
At the very least.
It has fuck all to do with QAnon currently, as the first like 10 minutes of our show happens to be most weeks, but Lord knows it's a rambling mess, which is what our people come for.
I hope so, because that's what they keep getting.
Yes.
This is why we end the show with Elle saying, successful episode of the podcast?
I mean, it has to be a success at this point.
So this is the formula that works, baby.
We're absolutely straight killing it right now.
Yeah, you'll know our level of hubris by the punctuation I put on the end of successful.
Like, at some point, I'll go from the question mark to the period, I'll be like, for another successful episode, and then, like, at some point where we're really crushing it, like, we're Mr. Beast, but for QAnon, I'll just be like, FOR ANOTHER SUCCESSFUL EPISODE, WOOO!
And then, like, I'll crush a monster if I can against my head or whatever.
And then go to the mall to open your Ellsburger joint and just have the entire mall just freaking out that they're going to get burgers that have your branding on them.
It's going to be incredible.
And everyone's just like, wow, that guy, he seems like such a douchebag.
What's he got to be so happy about?
It's just like, well, he's a millionaire and his wife is this yoga instructor, TikTok influencer, so she's probably fit.
His life's going pretty well.
I feel like he's in the right to be excited about it.
His brother's kind of a dummy.
You know, as little as you guys know about beans, greens, potatoes, and tomatoes, I know that much about Mr. Beast.
Like, I know that he is wildly successful, but I know fuck all about him.
That was my policy for Ariana Grande for a long time.
I had not heard of Mr. Beast at all until this year.
I ordered Mr. Beast Burger at one point, not having never heard of him, because I'm just on a different side of YouTube.
See, this is why Sarge and I are usually simpatico.
I, too, ordered for Beast Burger before having ever heard of this Mr. Beast character.
Yeah, I had no idea about Mr. Beast Burgers, and then I just got a video that was just like, Mr. Beast Burgers.
It was just like this mall full of people screaming and yelling, and I just couldn't believe they were about to get burgers from this guy.
And I was like, this guy's a YouTuber, right?
So now he's got a McDonald's named after him, and it's incredibly successful because of his branding?
Okay, I guess.
There's Shadow Kitchens all over America.
Like, there's no physical... I think there's, like, two physical restaurants, but everything else is a shadow kitchen.
And he's, like, letting these people make money using his branding, and it's actually kind of cool.
But no, I had no idea.
I was just like, I guess I'll order Beast Fries?
This seems good.
And indeed, they were perfectly okay.
Oh man, I'm so spoiled.
The area that I moved back to, just so much decadent, excellent food.
I can now use the power of Grubhub to summon Korean corn dogs to my house whenever I want.
I can reach out into the internet using the power of capitalism.
I can summon Korean street dogs.
So good.
Anyway, let's get to talking about QAnon, because I've made myself hungry, so I believe I'm in the mood for a little amuse-bouche.
It's time for a life sampling of insanity.
Get ready for the amuse-bouche.
I love how Sarge tried to fight off that giggle when it finally hit him that I said that in that stupid and weird way and then he lost it.
Those are the reactions I'm always looking for.
So weird.
Anyway, speaking of so weird, our good friend with excellent new moniker, SpaceKarin, I really should have looked up the tweet that started that, but whoever started that, I know you're out there and you're great.
SpaceKarin is a great nickname for Elon Musk, because fuck him.
He's having another bad week.
Mike, what's going on with Q's new favorite friend and champion of free speech, Elon Musk, aka SpaceKarin?
Uh, so, uh, Space Karen, uh, started off, um, the, the whole everyone's got to work a million hours thing, which people have pointed out, yo, this doesn't fly in Europe.
Actually, Europe has labor laws that are actually real.
It's not America where you can just like kick anyone to the crib that you want and be like, capitalism, idiot.
Bam.
Europe's like actually doing any of all of this shit violates all of our labor laws like you can be subjected to Fines that even you Elon Musk would find prohibitive so beyond that stupidity he found a bunch of stay woke shirts and Somewhere at Twitter HQ, and then went about mocking them.
And he deleted this tweet which reads, stay woke shirts stem from Ferguson protests.
Obama's own DOJ proved this and exonerated the cop.
Hands up, don't shoot was made up.
The whole thing was a fiction.
Which is a reference to claiming that the cop that shot Michael Brown in Ferguson
was totally right to do so.
That whole police execution was on the level.
And hey, this is a good thing.
Yeah, America, back the blue, all that good stuff is now where Elon is.
I've seen a lot of people going from the Space Karen moniker, calling him Apartheid Clyde, because again, He got his money from an emerald mine in South Africa back when apartheid still existed, and that's how this man now owns Twitter, because the world is awful and bad and wrong.
He pulled himself up by those people's bootstraps.
The other day a whole report, I guess, came out from a former SpaceX employee laying out why SpaceX and Tesla are even remotely successful.
And it has to do with SpaceX specifically has multiple layers of management.
Their whole job is to manage Elon.
Uh, just massage his ego and be like, here's the good idea, and here's the bad idea.
And just like, trick him.
There's multiple levels of managing Elon.
Like, there's a whole level of management at SpaceX that There's like, we have to keep this money faucet running, and he gets the goodwill of the people at the time.
He gets the goodwill of the people for making rockets.
And everybody thinks that's great.
Like, going into space is great, but there's a whole insulation between Elon and the actual, you know, making decisions and everyday stuff.
Twitter doesn't have that and can't because like SpaceX came up with managing Elon and it is terrifying and baffling and great.
Yeah, like there's no way to keep the bull from running loose in the china shop here.
SpaceX and these other groups, they had bull handlers who could massage the bull, get the bull to go down the aisles without knocking things over.
He just came into Twitter and he's just like, just smash, bang, crush.
I love his bizarre obsession with code.
Like his entire existence is just, I want to see the latest code you've written.
It's like, Elon, do you even code?
Do you understand how this works?
And why do you think Twitter is like all about code?
Literally all Twitter is, is a social media platform that businesses put ads on and they pay you money so you'll run the ads.
That's it.
Right, not Eli Lilly anymore.
Yeah, exactly.
You are literally just billboards in a digital space.
That's all you're making.
And around those billboards, the people making those billboards want videos of kittens that have gone viral, or the latest movie that's being promoted by somebody else, or a popular actor or musical artist saying things that are encouraging.
Twitter has billboards and the people using Twitter are like the snotty teens that congregate around and on the billboard and like put cool graffiti on it and drink beer and don't pay for the billboard.
Yes, exactly.
What these people who've made the billboard do not want is you talking to Dinesh D'Souza about, hey, hey, Dinesh, making some good points there, my bro.
I like the cut of your jib.
And other right-wing lunatics who are just like, Russiagate was a hoax, and the pee tape wasn't real, and blah, blah, blah.
And then Elon's like, hey, man, you're straight killing it.
You're just absolutely crushing it.
I can't believe how right all of you people who are posting this QAnon-adjacent bullshit are about literally everything.
I'm so happy that I own this place now where I can brofist you.
Where me, Dinesh, Cat Turd, and a bunch of other absolute right-wing clowns can just... Babylon B. Yep, the Babylon B.
Yeah.
Jordan Peterson's back on Twitter now, which is awesome.
Yi is back.
And then people pointed out, you know, Elon, you said you were going to have like this, the Council of Moderation, which was going to be this diverse group of people from all walks of life who were going to come in and make decisions on who gets back on Twitter and who doesn't.
And then this council seems not to have happened.
And now you're just letting all the right-wingers on.
And Elon was like, I tried to make that deal with advertisers and they betrayed me.
So now I'm just going to do this.
And it's like, who betrayed you?
Name names, Elon.
Tell us what advertiser was like, hey, if you do this council and make sure that everything's on the up and up, we'll be cool.
And then the advertiser was like, no, pull the advertising anyways.
Fuck them.
Like, let us know who's the backstabbers, Elon.
Let us know who sold you out because they're so mean.
Now you have to let Jordan Peterson back on your site.
You have to platform ye, because those are great ideas that will only encourage more advertisers to stay.
Weirdly agreeing with Trump and that he said Elon was a desperate like even more so than Trump like a desperate like star fucker and would do anything to like get Trump on his side and it's uh kind of clear that that's the case like It's so weird.
In the world of Starfucker, Trump and Elon seem like they were in a race.
Elon's one is way worse than Trump.
Yeah, indeed.
Well, Elon is just a fucker in general, right?
Like, he's getting his deformed little peen in a bunch of women and producing children.
So, like, the ones we know about are only the ones that he managed to impregnate.
I'm sure there are plenty of women out there that have, like, slept with world's richest man.
Well, not anymore, but previously world's richest man and just didn't happen to have his children.
So, I mean, you know, he used to be the world's richest man before he lost, like, a hundred billion dollars overnight or whatever.
Oh yeah, Tesla stock is doing great.
I mean, everything he's touching is just absolutely turning to gold.
Speaking of the Elon Trump dynamic, Elon decided to have a poll to see if the public on Twitter would reinstate Trump.
And my favorite part about this was, this was very obviously an attempt by Elon to skirt responsibility for letting Trump back on the site.
And Elon, before he was forced into buying Twitter because he signed the fucking contract, then was like, wait a minute, I'm so rich.
I don't have to be held to the actual law of a contract.
And then Delaware and Twitter were like, no, you do, idiot.
Give us our 44 billion, you fucking moron.
Elon the whole time was just like, Twitter is this bot infested cesspool, 30 or 40% of all the people here aren't even real, they're all fake, this scam that I was tricked into buying, it's all bullshit.
Now he's like, hey, I had a free and fair election on Twitter, the public spoke, it was all regular humans voting regularly by clicking a button.
And Trump won, so it's all good.
And now Trump's reinstated.
And so Elon brings Trump back to Twitter.
And then Trump's like, I am not going back to Twitter.
TruthSocial's fucking incredible.
I am staying on TruthSocial.
Pound sand, Elon.
And Elon replied with, first, a family guy meme of the mom looking at her pills.
And he captioned it, the mom being Trump and the pills being his Twitter account.
And then later on, he had the picture of the woman presenting herself to a priest who's like closing his eyes and praying instead of being tempted by the Jezebel before him.
And it's just, it's so sad that Elon's just like, please, please, Daddy Trump, please post on Twitter to generate controversy and content for me so I can get more eyeballs on my platform as advertisers flee screaming.
I think Mike just accidentally invented a Juicy News segment for our show where he just describes meme pictures.
That was pretty entertaining.
Luckily, I had seen the first one, so I knew what he was describing.
The second one I had no idea, but I was trying to paint the word picture in my mind.
Yeah.
Anyway, yeah, so like, I mean, that has to be whatever the opposite of vindication is
for Elon Musk, right?
Like, when even Trump is just like, hey, you're like damaged goods, bud, and like, the thing that you bought isn't worth my time or attention.
At least not more than this thing that I have like a financial investment in.
Yeah.
And that's the thing that's so obvious to me, is that Trump's probably telling Elon, like, yo dude, you have to buy Truth off me for a couple billion dollars, and then I will benevolently return to Twitter after being able to issue a press release declaring that Truth and Twitter have merged, and all my QAnon red checkmarks get to have certified accounts on Twitter.
And so on and so forth.
Yeah.
So yeah, if you want me on Twitter, you have to cut me a giant check because
I'm Donald Trump and literally everything in my life is transactional.
So, uh, you want me on your fucking platform?
Fuck you pay me.
That's how this works.
It's really easy.
It's real simple.
So I spent a lot of money to make truth and I'm the only thing keeping it alive.
So I'm staying here.
Yeah.
Yes!
It's just so... It's so awesome that Elon has absolutely no idea what he's doing.
Unfortunately, it's too awesome, and we could talk about it for probably the duration of the whole show.
And in fact, I would probably have more fun doing that.
But we have an obligation to our listeners to actually do our own thing.
So, we're going to move on from Elon for the week.
I'm sure we'll have more Elon news for next week, and Lord knows we're not done talking about Trump for this week.
But instead, let's talk about a weird dictator with a possibly mutilated penis someplace else.
Bolsonaro, who I guess has been hidden from public view due to a skin infection or something.
Mike, I'm turning to you for some actual information about this, because I've only heard it whispered in the breeze.
Yeah, so our boy Bolsonaro has not been seen in public, and then eventually one of his spokespeople came out and said that Bolsonaro hasn't been seen for a while because he has, quote-unquote, a skin infection that prevents him from wearing pants.
So, our boy Bolsonaro, I don't know if he's just, like, bottomless the whole time or exactly how it works, but... Also, for the record, When I made that connection between him and our ongoing joke about Elon Musk's weird penis, I did not know that information about him having to go full Pooh Bear.
That's hilarious.
Yes!
I mean, you saw my powers earlier in the week, Sarge, with your Christmas gift stained with blood.
Terrifying.
I'm like that kid from Death Note.
Who, El?
Yeah.
Oh my god.
Isn't Eldon a detective, or no?
Yeah.
He was just making a funny joke about my name, about freaking my name.
Anyway, we're wildly off topic.
We're talking about the former president of Brazil and current Donald Duck.
Well, he's still the reigning president of Brazil until January 1st when Lula gets in.
And because of that, while our pantsless lame duck is currently doing his thing, he has filed a frivolous lawsuit before the Brazilian courts alleging malfunctions in the machines, blah blah blah, fraud, all the greatest hits from our boy Donald Trump.
If Bolsonaro has some Rudy-like flunky who can go to their version of Four Seasons Landscaping, I would much appreciate that.
This LOL suit, this joke, of course received a lot of buzz in QAnon because, oh, it's happening!
We're doing it!
But all the major media has said that the Brazilian Supreme Court of Elections has already certified Lula as the winner.
This thing is going nowhere.
And it is just basically red meat for the people who are still protesting in Brazil over the fact that Bolsonaro lost.
But hey, I mean...
We have to have our Brazilian versions of Trump and Carrie Lake, I guess.
So, uh, conbobulations.
Conbobulations, guys, on your futile attempt to try to derail things, which, again, will not work.
So yeah.
Yeah.
I saw, I was briefly skimming over the nature of his lawsuit and that there was a bug in the voting machines, but there's just like the, this in no way affects the results.
Like there was just this, this bug, it doesn't matter.
And also it would probably hurt you more than it would help you.
And, uh, there's like, fuck it.
We ball.
And yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, the thing is, is that, uh, if QAnon actually kind of understood Brazilian elections, they'd be like really horrified by them the whole way.
Cause they're mostly touchscreen with like very little paper trail kind of stuff.
So it's just sort of, Hey, the, the, we beeped the boop and this guy won.
You just kind of have to accept that.
And when that happened, uh, when Bolsonaro won, it was cool.
But when Bolsonaro loses, Oh no, now.
Now it's a hullabaloo.
now we have to get all kinds of bent out of shape about it.
Yeah, that's the Republican way. I even saw, I mean, looping it back to Elon briefly for a second,
I even saw people grousing in that dumb Twitter poll about whether or not he should reinstate
Trump. Like somebody just being like, oh, you could tell when the bot showed up because Trump,
yes, was getting a lot of, a lot of heat. Then all of a sudden it started to get pretty close.
Obviously a bunch of bots came in for voting. It's just like, wow, you can't even believe,
You can't even believe in a Twitter poll.
That Trump still won, by the way.
Yeah.
But it was, what was funny was, is it was getting, when I first saw the poll, it was like 60-40 in favor of Trump.
And then it just kept tightening.
And I was like, just, I was just sitting there and thinking to myself like, man, Elon is absolutely, if this thing ever gets closer than 51-49, Elon is just going to fucking call up the bot army and just push this thing back in the right direction.
Because the last thing on God's green earth that man wanted was for this poll to go wrong.
And then he's like, well, I guess people don't want Trump on Twitter.
I will keep him off.
And then he just like punches a wall.
Throws a chair, is miserable.
Yeah.
I mean, it's not like Twitter polls are the height of accuracy or anything.
I just loved how those guys were like complaining just because, not even because they started to lose, but because the votes were getting closer than they liked.
They're just like, instead of dominating an overwhelming landslide, obviously these stupid libs activated all their bots to make it even remotely close because Donald Trump is just so popular.
That is my favorite thing in QAnon is that they, the most diehard lunatic supporters of Donald Trump, are this persecuted minority that everyone hates and thinks is weird and they acknowledge that.
They literally call the people outside their movement normies because they're normal.
And so that's their worldview is that we're the persecuted minority.
But Donald Trump himself personally is almost universally beloved.
Like Trump is just this messianic figure that pretty much everyone's a bro with.
And that's why if the deep state didn't cheat, he was going to win all 50 states.
He definitely won California.
And it's just like, hey guys, if Trump is so universally beloved and you're just running around going, hey everybody, I love Donald Trump!
Wouldn't people be like, hey, I do too!
We're bros!
And everyone would just like you and you'd be popular because you support the most popular guy in the universe.
It's so weird the way they have this view of themselves and their view of their hero.
It's just so...
It's such an impossible thing to actually conceptualize, but their cognitive dissonance is so strong, they pull it off anyways.
Well, no cognitive dissonance necessary this week, my friend.
Because it turns out the hero of heroes has emerged for our QAnon devout.
QDaddy himself is back to posting again.
Totally, legitimately the same guy as before?
Q is back!
He was here, and after his prolonged absence, followed by his little mixing it up, like, you know, when somebody stole Daddy's clothes, and Rod Watkins, or Jim Watkins, Jim Watkins this time, who can even keep it straight, not me, was posing as him, but that was a misstep, this is the real deal, and he's got some shit to say.
Mike, finally, Q is back, and this time it's not Jim Lockett, we promise.
And who, what does he have to say?
So Q posted on the 11th and that was just, he went Riddler Q on this one.
He opened up with, who are the silent thieves?
Yeah.
Who are the silent thieves?
I mean, to be fair, that is a pretty sweet Q opening line.
I have to give him credit for that.
That sounds pretty Q-y.
I wish we had merch.
If we didn't already have an official, unofficial name for our Patreon, it would be the Silent Thieves now.
Yeah, I'll rename the Patreon.
I'll try to re-update the URL to the Silent Thieves.
That's just the very on-the-nose name of, like, a thief organization in a manga, like, where they say it in English because it sounds cool to them, but what they're really just saying is, like, what their thing does.
That would be, like, calling themselves, like, a car wash.
It's right up there with the Dew Crimers.
Yes.
He adds, why are they manipulating you?
How are they stealing your wealth?
Bubble, crash, steal, lie, repeat.
What is inflation?
What a great question, Q!
What is inflation?
You explain it to me, Q. You tell me what inflation is.
Also, there are, like, a lot of different types of it, and some of which, like, you're gonna need to ask, like, a personal adult friend.
I don't feel like explaining it to you.
Yeah, it's all the furries.
There's no normal inflation.
Well, I mean, there's financial inflation, and then there's, like, the act of actually inflating something like a balloon.
Then there's, like, a spectrum of gross sex things.
And I'm sure there are even more types of inflation.
Like an inflated ego.
Yes.
I mean, look, I'm not shaming anybody.
I'm just saying that I find some stuff personally to be gross.
That's the way it is.
I also find napkins gross.
That means it's not like I'm judging anyone that uses a napkin.
I have a phobia of used paper products, so I do not like them.
serve. After that, I went over like a blood balloon.
And again, my, and this was even back when Q was actually quote unquote actively posting, he would take long breaks.
He would just like, he'd like make three posts a day, then like take four days off and get back to posting.
Cause when you're saving the world, you don't need to be giving your audience like up to the minute updates about what's going on in the shadow war between good and evil.
So after that, after that one whole post, Q took a nap and came back a week later.
And replied, run back Dominion SOS offices, which I think means Secretary of State, investigators, researchers, whistleblowers, patriots in trusted positions.
Boo!
Name the fucking patriots!
What are the trusted positions?
Why do you fucking have nothing and why are we always losing fucking elections if you still have your hands on the levers of power, you clowns?
Also, so much of that post was just like a literal list of one word.
Just like a bulleted list of just talking points.
Maybe this time Q just accidentally uploaded their list of talking points that they were just like, okay, this is the framework.
I'm going to compose my thing.
And then they just accidentally uploaded this one.
Oh, god damn it.
Beans, that's the upload.
I didn't do any names.
I totally have names this time.
I have to call my son and figure out how to undo this.
Oh, yeah, I can't.
Yeah, he finishes by saying, trust yourself, you have seen the truth,
time to show the world, focus, then in all capital letters, focus, ascension, Q.
My favorite part about that is, you have seen the truth, time to show the world.
He's like telling QAnon, hey guys, I'm the super secret spy,
I'm the guy that blew up a North Korea nuclear test site, I'm the guy that was watching Barack Obama
on spy satellites as he was fleeing around the world.
I have Donald Trump's on my cell phone, I can call him up and tell him to do stuff for me,
but you're the ones who have to show the world about the voter fraud.
You're the ones that have to put in the work to fix things.
I'm just posting some shit on Hank Coon, I mean, I'm just, what more could I,
the guy who can literally gaze into the fucking time streams,
what more could I do?
My hands are tied!
It's up to you.
He sometimes wants to portray himself as like a V for a Vendetta type or like a Joker, like
a Joaquin Phoenix Joker who kicks off a movement.
But the difference is that those figureheads got their start doing stuff.
Like they did stuff.
Like, V murdered a lot of dudes with knives and blew up a ton of buildings.
And the Joker, like, in that movie, straight up murders a bunch of people, some of which on live TV.
So like, I mean, hey Q, you do have to put up a little.
Otherwise, you just need to start shutting up, because it's getting to the point where It seems like it's getting to the point where some big pivots are going to happen as Donald Trump's, like, the bloom seems like it's finally starting to come off him.
Like, the sharks seem like they're circling him, finally.
It's about time.
Yeah.
Like, the thing that's, like, so funny is Q is always just, like, these people are criminals.
And it's like, who?
And then he named some people.
Like, he went after John Legend.
He went after Patton Oswalt.
Oh, yeah.
John Legend and Christy Teigen are, like, hugely hated in the QAnon community.
For being pederasts and child traffickers.
Why?
For making mediocre music?
And they also don't like Trump.
They were very public about their disapproval of him.
Oh, okay.
There it is.
Yeah, but also, they posted some photos of Halloween at their house, and they had very young kids.
That really, like, they can't, like, actually do Halloween.
And one of the costumes they put the kids in was, like, a hot dog suit.
And it's food!
Oh, God!
It's coded trafficking message!
And, oh, it just took off.
Yeah, so.
And it's just like, well, you know, if those people are, like, they're predators, and they're, like, celebrities that not a whole hell of a lot of people know about, Can't you arrest them?
I mean, we arrested Bill Cosby.
I mean, we've brought down a lot bigger celebrities than Patton Oswalt.
I know, but I'm saying, like, America didn't fall when we arrested Bill Cosby, which is like, every time you talk to QAnon about this, like, why haven't they arrested Hillary yet?
And people are like, oh, you don't understand.
People would go crazy if they arrested Hillary.
I'm like, Okay, they wouldn't, but even if I conceded your point, I'll concede your point just to continue the argument.
Patton Oswalt, Q literally named that guy as a pederast and a child abuser.
He's nobody!
Fucking pinch him!
And it's like, oh, we can't grab the comedian who did Ratatouille.
Yeah, we can't grab Remy.
We can't take down Remy.
We can't take down Remy for some reason.
He's too big.
The Deep State's got way- he's got way too much juice in the Illuminati.
You have no idea where on the pyramid Remy sits.
You don't understand.
Everyone loves the King of Queens.
They can't get another King of Queens.
All those people are untouchable.
That's why nobody really went after Leah Ramidi that hard when she started talking all that shit about Scientology.
The Scientologists were like, oh, we're just gonna handle this.
And then, uh, big...
Big Republican Q stepped in and was just like, nah.
Q called up Tom Cruise and was like, you can't go after her.
You don't understand.
She's got too much pull, even for Scientology.
She was on King of Queens and Tom Cruise was like, my God, I had no idea.
Yeah.
I just, I just love the power level of Q from like where it was to where it is.
It's always one of the funniest parts of the whole story for me.
And the fact that now Q is just literally outsourcing saving the world to his followers.
It's like, well then why are they following you asshole?
You were the one that was supposed to save us.
You and Trump were supposed to get the job done.
And now you're like, Hey, You guys saw that Kerry Lake didn't win in Arizona and that's bullshit.
Time to start posting some spicy memes.
Time to start fixing this thing.
And it's like, Q, didn't you have Space Force watching the election?
Didn't you hack into the Italian spy satellites this time?
Uh, no, I didn't.
I figured you guys would take care of it.
I'm too busy on my pig farm in the Philippines.
Wait, I didn't say that.
Delete, delete, delete.
Oh shit.
Yeah, I called my son.
What the fuck?
He's like Metro Man.
Sure, he could save everyone, but he just doesn't really want to.
That's not really what he wants out of life.
So, you know, he just disappeared for a while.
I like that riff.
Yeah, that was a good one.
I mean, I just needed to make sure... Sarge, I needed to make sure you knew that one.
Okay, well, but mostly what I needed to do was clip the wigs off of our A Boo's Boo segment, which is quickly becoming just as long as our Headline News segment.
So, there's no more getting around it.
We have to talk about our grim headlines for the week.
Yay!
From the digital headlines to the digital frontlines, it's Q's in the News!
Okay, another day in America, another mass shooting this time.
Tragically happening in a gay club from what I understand.
I haven't really been that plugged in in the news cycle this week so while I of course know the broad strokes of this I don't know any particulars which is why we have Mike here to talk to us about it and to tell us of course why the fuck Q is so excited about it.
Okay, well, the first thing that you need to know about this shooting in regards to QAnon is that the place where it happened is called Club Q, which has driven QAnon absolutely insane because They think this is the deep state, like kind of like taking a shot at them and being like, Hey, this crime happened with a Q on it.
So yeah, we're, we're smearing QAnon with this action here.
Uh, one, uh, QAnon promoter Julian Thrum declared this to be the most obvious false flag he has ever seen.
And, um, The hero of this event, the man who led the charge to take down the shooter, to stem the loss of life that happened here, Richard M. Ferreiro, he's military and
QAnon is currently losing their minds over the fact that this was a married man with children who went to this show because it was a drag show where I believe someone he knew was performing in the drag show.
And he said that it was the first drag show he had gone to.
He was having a hoot.
And as he has stated in interviews, hey, like, I fought for this.
I fought for people to have the freedom to do wacky, zany, fun stuff like this in America.
So, like, why wouldn't I be a part of it?
And QAnon is just like, why was this married man going to a gay bar With his family and kids.
Seems a little sus, if you ask me.
Which is incredible.
Because, like, let's just stop it here and say, again, he wasn't, but for the sake of arguing, let's just say that he was there to suck a thousand cocks.
Uh, does that really change the heroism of his actions or, like, his military service?
I mean, it's certainly, like, a character flaw, like, to be cheating on your spouse, but at the end of the day, like, that didn't prevent him from stopping, like, more casualties from happening in this crisis situation.
Other than just like, yeah, him being there is kind of suspect.
I wonder what his motives are.
It was the same thing.
They just jumped to the homophobia angle immediately.
Like, when that guy broke in and beat Nancy Pelosi's husband in the head with a hammer, they were just like, this probably is gay lover or whatever.
You know what I mean?
Am I right guys?
And it's like, who fucking cares?
Yeah, they're just like, because they didn't read any of the news articles and
they just eye roll at all the interviews he's given about the story about what
happened because he again, he explained exactly why he was there.
All of it was clear.
And he's very upset because, um, I believe it was his daughter's
boyfriend was killed in the, it was killed in the shooting.
And he's upset that he didn't do better because he could have saved him if he'd been able to act faster.
And he has, he has survivor's guilt, which is terrible.
I mean, it's just nightmare.
Right.
And, and.
This is how QAnon operates where this terrible tragedy happens.
They immediately dismiss all of what happened.
The fact that this was an act, this was a hate crime at a persecuted minority group.
And that's why this happened.
And they hand wave away all of that because it's a false flag.
The person who did it is obviously an MK ultra sleeper who was activated by triggered code words because the bad guys do the bad things.
This is all designed to trigger a gun control agenda.
Blah, blah, blah.
We've all heard it a million times before from these shit weasels.
And now they have to demonize the hero.
Like literally the person that is supposed to be the protagonist in their storyline This was the good guy without a gun who saved the day.
And even that veteran or active duty military personnel are like, one or the other.
Either way, this is definitely in their wheelhouse.
In what sounds like a heteronormative relationship with children, oh yeah, this is the guy.
Right, this guy should be the champion of champions for them.
And they're just like, nope, he's a deep state plant.
They're obviously doing something really suspect with him.
Like he's going to come out and be like this big, like gun control kind of guy.
The thing is, like, when has any of this shit ever led to actual, like, real, like, reform in America?
We literally, as Elle said at the start of this thing, another day in America, another mass shooting.
This shit is so, like, tragic and commonplace, and yet QAnon's acting like, oh, This is the one.
Now they're gonna do the gun grab.
We gotta fight it, because the Deep State was like, after our 387th false flag, we're finally gonna break through.
We couldn't get a gun grab after Sandy Hook, where literal children were murdered.
Yeah, I was thinking the same thing.
I was like, I'm pretty sure that if Sandy Hook wasn't the thing that did it, then, like, the thing that inevitably, everyone will know when the thing that does it happens.
It'll just be, it'll be like a squad of guys.
It'll be like a horror movie.
It'll be like, Christopher Nolan directed a terror attack.
And then, and only then, maybe.
We couldn't get a gun grab after Las Vegas, where a guy just, like, unloaded with a bump stock.
We couldn't get a gun grab after Pulse.
The Pulse nightclub, which was way more people killed than this.
It's gonna take Chainsaw Man.
Yeah.
The plot of Chainsaw Man is gonna have to happen.
The literal physical manifestation of Americans' fears of guns will have to show up and kill millions, and then maybe, maybe we'll get a gun grab.
Our gun grab is literally just gonna be when we're all in our like 50s and 60s and the generation that has grown up dealing with this shit is in their 30s and 40s and they're just like, you know what?
I, as a child, remember having to do fucking active shooter drills.
And now I'm of an age where I can like, you know, run for Congress and be like, fuck that shit.
I mean, it's like, that's, it's going to be generational because like fucking the way it's going right now, no one who's currently in office is like, who's against gun reform.
It's going to have their heart finally Grinchify and get three hearts and three sizes too big and be like, you know what?
Maybe we should do some gun reform.
It's like, nope.
The Republican Party, there's no amount of death that will ever make them actually put in any effort to stop it.
Oh, yeah.
No.
Never, not once.
It's not gonna happen.
Okay, so just to catch up, the place was called Club Q, so that made Q, the community, get all up in a tizzy thinking that this was some sort of false flag operation and or that the hero was... To make Q look bad.
Secret gay, and that's the domino that will set all of the pieces into motion, apparently.
Because, again, who fucking cares?
It's so funny to me.
I love that anyone is still homophobic these days.
Like, literally, who cares?
I just can't even fathom it.
It's so dumb.
Anyway, so where does it stand now?
Like, now that it's quote-unquote cooled down a little bit.
It's not like, you know, this isn't headline breaking news anymore.
Uh, well, I think that the ugliest thing about it is the fact that, um, uh, Sarge had brought up previously that we, that we had talked about, like the Pelosi hammer attack and that kind of stuff.
The right wing is just sort of like, you know, Hey, normally this is the spot where we do the thoughts and prayers speech and bah, bah, bah.
But no, we're just not going to, um, Tucker Carlson had someone on last night and they were just like, Hey, This sort of shit's going to keep happening as long as people keep grooming kids.
This is the proper response to the left's deviant agenda is political violence and terrorism in our name.
And we're just going to roll with this now.
We didn't apologize for Pelosi's husband nearly being killed, and we're really actually not going to apologize for this gay nightclub being shot up.
We're just not going to do it.
Well, I mean, Mike, if people continue to live their lives however they want to, how am I, the scared straight Christian male, supposed to not shoot up their nightclubs?
It's tough.
It reminds me very much to get a little topical of the religious-based modesty policies in Middle Eastern countries, where it's just like, hey, women, we're going to need you to fully cover up, because if you don't, I might get horny, and that's your fucking problem.
Like, what's the deal with you making me horny?
Not wrong.
It's like, what the fuck is going on?
So, shout out to the World Cup if you're watching that.
I hope you are big, big, big fans of what you're supporting.
Yeah.
And also a bunch of other shit like that.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, this is one of those things where all you're really talking about is degrees of oppression.
That's all this is.
And anyone who wants to talk about quote-unquote grooming, They never will define what they believe is grooming, because they can't.
Because what grooming actually is, is finding someone who's young, usually under the age of 18, and then slowly manipulating them to be in a relationship with you, and then when they're of legal age, you make the relationship official.
And that's dark, creepy, groomer shit.
Yeah, it's a pre-crime that has now been sort of codified into being crime.
You know what I mean?
Before, the pioneers of grooming probably thought that they were a bunch of real clever perverts.
And unfortunately, it's not that clever, and it's fucked up.
Right.
And that's the thing, is that we know what actual grooming is, and these people, they won't tell you.
They'll just be like, hey, that drag show is grooming.
How?
How is that grooming?
It's a bunch of kids watching some people in really theatrical, over-the-top outfits doing silly stuff.
Explain What do you think is happening that is the problem?
Because are we still doing this shit where you think you can turn kids gay?
Is that where you're at?
If that's what you're thinking, just say it.
Please just say that and expose yourself as a moron.
Because that would be just great.
I would love for you to do that.
I mean, I feel like that's absolutely what they're getting at.
It has to be.
Otherwise, like, I mean, unless they're just like, yeah, they're just like, that club is full of gay drag queens that want to have sex with our kids.
And it's just like, well, why do they want to have sex?
Why do they want to have sex with your kids?
Are they gay?
Like, wouldn't they be satisfied just, like, doing their own thing, like, in their community without the need of your kids?
And it's just like, yeah, but you know, kids are, like, invited to that show.
It's like, because it's an all-ages show.
They're just, like, dancing.
Are you afraid your kids are going to be like, man, maybe I could try on women's clothing and dance?
And if so, then who cares?
Who are they hurting by dancing in women's clothing?
Nobody!
Yeah, that's one of Alex Jones's go-to favorite things is Drag Queen Story Time.
Like, drag queens are inherently... It's their, like, catchline.
Calling someone a groomer is just being like, they are going to sexually abuse everyone, and therefore violence against them is okay.
It's the latest, biggest dog whistle.
Yeah, it sort of encompasses all of that shit.
Like, anything that, you know, a regular, a good red-blooded Christian American person would consider sexual deviancy.
Aside from all the stuff that they secretly fetishize themselves, which is totally okay, because they're thinking about it.
Reality is that drag is just like a performance theater type.
It would be like, yo!
Did you hear that they're trying to open up a Kabuki bar in town?
That's fucking crazy!
We're gonna go there, we're gonna protest, you're not bringing any kids to this Kabuki bar, I don't want any of my kids getting any Kabuki ideas!
Yeah!
They're gonna start going home and trying to try on a Kabuki makeup, we're gonna catch them like, being very delicate in a mirror, like, you know, making very elaborate poses, and I'm gonna be like, NO!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING FOLDING THAT PAPER?!
YOU ARE NOT GOING TO MAKE A SWAT OUT OF THAT PAPER!
THAT IS WRONG!
It's not American. I swear to fucking God if I hear anything that sounds like a shabby said or any other sort
of stringed instrument coming out of that room
It's yeah, it's just being angry It's just being angry for the sake of being angry and you can and you can find a marginalized group that you can get upset with that society will kind of tolerate.
Someone I saw a QAnon post posting a thing where like the NHL disabled comments where they literally were just like Trans men are men.
Trans women are women.
Non-binary is an identity you can have.
And the comments were so toxic, the NHL just turned off comments.
And QAnon was like, Yeah!
We got them!
We showed the NHL that woke goes broke!
How do you like them apples?
We showed them that we can't be silenced!
Actually, you were silenced.
Well, they said, but that means we won!
We were made to be silent!
We couldn't show our ass on the internet!
Oh, how you like that?
Oh, geez.
Also, the NHL.
I mean, like, if you're if you're one of those diehard fans, then it's just like, you know, you're obviously like, you're obviously a fan of sinking ships.
It's funny, I've just taken five shots at the NHL for no reason.
They're actually doing just fine.
I mean, honestly, hockey is probably either my second or third favorite sport to watch.
They're just an easy target because the NHL is like the eighth most profitable sports franchise or league or whatever.
They don't make a lot of money relative to there.
Yeah, hockey's a niche sport, absolutely.
But, I mean, the Bruins are fucking killing it this year, so I'm on the bandwagon.
I ain't gonna lie.
I would rather watch any amount of hockey than even a single game of football.
It's just so boring.
I just can't stand it.
Give me football highlights.
All I want is highlights.
Show me the three important things that happened.
Quick and good.
Yes.
Delightful.
Japan beat Germany?
Great.
Yeah, that was... Yeah, the World Cup has been wild with the results so far, so that is exciting.
I want, like, total madness.
I want two teams that no one's even thought of possible.
I want, like, an African team versus an African team in the finals in Europe, and the rest of the world's like, what the fuck, really?
It's like, yep, it's just like Cameroon versus Nigeria in the finals, and that's just the way it's gonna work out.
How do you like them apples, rest of the world?
It's like, well, we really don't, because Europe, as bad as American racism in Europe, real spicy racism over there, so yeah.
Yeah, take that, Europe.
I called you out.
You're the worst.
Yeah, the thing is, I mean, like, there's a lot of places in the world where there's a different spicy level of racism.
Like, it's just, there's a lot of real racist fucks out there.
Like, it's real crazy.
And hopefully we're getting better over time.
But not if the Republican Party can have anything to say about it in America.
I mean, they just really want you to hate everyone who's not a white conservative.
They're just like, yeah.
Which makes it, like, it's really crazy to me that there are any of these minority groups that are just like, we're X for Trump!
Like, we're the gays for Trump!
And it's like, what?
How?
Why?
Like, even if you don't like the Democrat candidates or any of that stuff, just, like, choose, like, a third-party candidate or whatever that speaks to you, but just, like, I don't know, it seems really weird to be in bed with the Republicans.
Like, they actively hate you.
They want people to go into your nightclubs and murder you.
I don't understand, like, I mean, if that's not a sentiment that you are opposed to, then I guess your, like, your belief system is just too out of left field for me to comprehend.
That's why we have Tucker Carlson on this stupid list.
Like, he absolutely is just, like, okaying this violence.
Oh, yeah.
As I said, Tucker had a woman who's like the quote-unquote spokesperson for Gays Against Groomers, which is a fake AstroTurf, Proud Boy-aligned group of right-wing shitweasels.
They're talking about this kind of stuff.
And then Tucker was like, you know, I'm just gonna literally, I'm not even gonna dog whistle QAnon, I'm just gonna flat out like talk to them.
And he talked about how there are people out there who think that there's a cabal of pedophiles who are in the halls of power in our world.
Now that's madness and I don't subscribe to it, but if you look at Jeffrey Epstein and what he did and how he got away with it for so long, maybe it isn't so crazy to think that way.
Maybe it's okay to I think that that's a reasonable thing to believe in this world.
And you would be really shocked, and by shocked I mean not surprised in the slightest, to find out that QAnon got the message loud and clear from Tucky Tuck about what was going on there.
And they were like, oh man, Tucker's going there!
He's calling out the cabal!
He's doing it!
Yeah, Tuck!
Finally getting with the program!
And it's just like, yep, we're We're doing this.
We're having the guy who's literally the flagship of Fox condoning the shooting at a gay club and then being like, hey QAnon, guess what?
I'm with you bros.
I got your back.
We're in this together.
Me and you.
Yo, QAnon, keep watching Tucker Carlson.
I'm going to say things you like to hear.
So yeah, this is Awesome developments going on in Fox News and Republican land.
This is the tact they've taken from their pathetic showing in the midterms.
Should we moderate?
Should we try to appeal to literally anyone other than our psychotic, xenophobic, homophobic base?
No!
Double down!
Go harder on this shit!
Let's do this!
Yeah, put two pieces of chicken on either side of that burger because they're doubling down.
Ah, I understood that reference, so yes.
God.
CL, that's how you do it.
Yeah, sometimes you just have to grab, grab, uh, grandpa by the hand and leave him there.
Thank you, son of Sarge!
Thank you for leading me to the land of easily identifiable references.
Where's the beef?
I've never had a double down.
I don't think they do them anymore.
I don't think they've done it a long time.
KFC's all about the bowls now.
They're all about their bowls.
They love them.
Yeah, I haven't been to a KFC in the age of a dog.
Okay, so headline news for the week.
Can't be headline news for the week without Donald Trump.
Because fuck this fucking clown.
I'll be so glad to be rid of him.
We don't have to talk to him every single week.
But for the time being, we're still trapped in that hell.
Yeah.
All right, Mike.
If he could just pass away for perfectly normal reasons, that'd be fine.
That'd be the greatest thing, is if he just literally had a five-month bout with some cancer and then just passed away.
Cueing on the whole way would be a conspiracy plot, everything.
Even if he and his family were just like, nope, this is exactly what's happening.
They're like, the Deep State got to him!
They're making him say this!
The cancer is rigged.
Yes!
Look at the mules!
They're bringing so much cancer!
Yup!
So while we wait for a turn in our beloved god emperor's health, at the very least he's
had a turn of bad- once again another turn of bad fortune before the courts.
The Supreme Court decided not to hear his plea to keep his taxes away from Congress.
So the New York Southern District, I believe, already had gotten his taxes, but now the House Ways and Means Committee, which is still Democrat-controlled until the new Congress comes in on January 4th of next year.
So they get two months of Trump's delicious taxes now, because they can literally just ask, yo, Janet Yellen, the head of the Treasury for Biden, give us Trump's taxes.
And she's like, I can do that now.
Beep!
She beeps the boop, and the taxes are transferred to them.
So that happened, and then on top of that...
The nonsense that Judge Cannon did in the stolen documents case in Mar-a-Lago, where she brought up the special master, and she literally just threw all this sand in the gears in an effort to fuck with the DOJ and the prosecution of this.
The 11th Circuit Court heard the appeal from the DOJ about this, and pretty much their arguments to Trump's lawyers were, why the fuck are you doing this?
How the fuck do you think you're going to win this case?
What is wrong with you?
And I'm just basically paraphrasing what they said.
And Trump's lawyer's replies was like, look, this is a... No, this has never happened before!
So, like, what do we know what legal precedents there are about, you know, prosecuting a president for stealing shit that he obviously fucking shouldn't have stolen?
And maybe we should give him a pass on that because president?
Come on!
And...
So like, yeah, the judges there seemed incredibly nonplussed with Trump's lawyers arguments.
And this is basically the main goal here for the government is just to have Cannon's stupidity struck down and swept away so that they can actually take these documents and this evidence and present it to the grand juries that are being formed as we speak around all of this shit.
That is now being, uh, this operation that's now being headed up by the special counsel, the incredibly, uh, dramatically named Jack Smith presiding over it.
So yeah, you get him, Jack.
Jack Smith, the most milquetoast name there's ever been in the history of the world, is now our new version of Durham.
Oh yeah, Durham's coming?
Well, Smith is coming, motherfucker.
He's coming even harder than Durham is.
You have no idea.
Ready to get jacked off.
I mean, uh, just jacked.
Like, being strong and brave.
Pulls off glasses.
Holy shit, that's Jack Smith.
Yeah, I guess.
Oh my god.
Yeah, so now we as the left have to put laser eyes on Jack Smith and do all this shit and make him into a Terminator.
Actually, no, we don't.
We barely had the urge to do Dark Brendan and he's the fucking president.
The bit players on the left don't get crazy memes and all this shit.
Dark Brandon is like Godzilla.
He'll slumber for a time and then eventually he'll get back to doing stuff and the Dark Brandon memes will start anew.
And it's just like, thanks.
Thanks, idiots, for giving us a sword to vanquish you with.
We're just like, ah, yes, we'll take that Dark Brandon.
Now we get to use it ironically with the power of irony.
They keep making memes for us like we don't even need to and nor should we.
We just wait until they make them.
Yeah.
I mean, I remember, I remember Mueller time and Avenatti getting the buzz, but it's like, Jesus, like that was, we, we don't speak of Avenatti, that, that guy.
I remember when QAnon thought Avenatti was like high in the deep state, like they had all these storylines about, oh, like Avenatti sent out this tweet and it was a sign that he knew that they launched a missile to attack Air Force One.
And I'm just like, Can you please explain to me the org chart of the deep state?
If a guy who's not even an elected official and is literally just the lawyer for a porn star, like that's his gig is that he was Stormy Daniels lawyer and he got on TV a little bit.
And you think that guy has authorization to shoot missiles at the president?
It's like, gee, man.
Like if this podcast gets a little more popular, am I allowed to do these things?
Am I allowed to like?
Yeah, man.
I just get on the horn.
I'm like, yo, Nancy Pelosi!
I think it's time we, like, take some people out.
You hear me?
Hey, if Avenatti got that kind of cachet, I should, too.
I mean, I'm not even gonna go to jail for, like, a million years for, like, what all the shit Avenatti pulled.
So...
It's just so funny just watching all of the millions of lawsuits around Trump slowly constricting around him.
It's just like Georgia, January 6th, the stolen documents, all that kind of stuff.
It's basically Trump and Elon are living in these worlds where There's so many different things that could possibly go wrong for them.
Because, like, Twitter could have technical issues.
You have the allure of European labor laws.
You have the fact that advertisers are fleeing en masse.
It's just, like, we know something is going to get them.
It's just a question of which one wins the lottery.
Yeah.
Whoever gets there first.
Right.
Like, oh, one day I'm going to wake up and the fail whale is just going to be up.
And I'm like, oh, it was technical difficulties.
Or I'm going to go on Twitter and it's just Elon Musk fined $1.7 billion for European labor violations.
I'd be like, oh.
That might hurt a little, or it just might be like literally every major advertiser flees for like some new startup Twitter knockoff that Jeff Bezos just made.
It's like, yeah, that sounds reasonable.
Yep.
One way or the other, Elon, that $44 billion ain't coming out of that fireplace.
It's, it's roasty toasty crispy.
I mean, it's like, it's like the scene where the Joker threw that, uh, cigar onto the gasoline soaked money.
You're, you're not getting it back.
You have in fact set it all on fire.
It's, it's gone.
You're done.
Yeah, what Mike said, the internet deserves a better class of criminal.
Yes!
Absolutely.
God.
Oh, the internet deserves a better person running our fucking social media platform than the guy who is just like, hey Cat Turd, are we friends?
Are we bros?
Can we dunk on Trent Reznor some more?
Is he really?
You're mad at Trent Reznor?
That's how sad you are?
Oh my god.
Also, I mean, I guess Elon Musk is trying to throw bombs at Trent Reznor because Elon Musk is still worth like, you know, hundreds of billions of dollars or whatever, but...
Compared to most people, Trent Reznor's doing quite well.
This is going to be very hard to take too many shots at him.
Someone on Twitter pointed out that Elon Musk could never make music even a third as good as Trent Reznor, but Trent Reznor could absolutely make a terrible car that explodes.
Yeah.
Elon Musk, he decided to shore up his deficit in the music production era by just, like, having children with Grimes.
That's part of his robot plan.
He's like, I have slept with a musician.
Our children will shore up my weakness.
He's like the Borg.
It's gonna be great.
His children are gonna be born and he's just gonna, like, Akira-style his arms.
He's just gonna turn into these fleshy masses that just absorb them.
Baby arms.
Yeah, actually no, that's too cool for him.
None of that will happen.
He's just a weird guy with a deformed penis.
Anyway, do we want to move on to our mailbag segment for the week?
That sounds like a plan to me.
Our listeners got questions, we got answers.
It's time for Q and A.
So we open with SubZeroShirtArt asking, everything that Anons had going for them went bust.
Devolution, Durham, mules, midterms.
Does it feel like Anons should workshop a major attention-grabbing conspiracy ASAP to stay relevant, and what could it be?
Well, they don't really have a conspiracy to workshop because the Illuminati is the tried-and-true standby that they'll be using for forever because it's the ultimate conspiracy theory.
Well, they need to workshop is the way to defeat the Illuminati because that's literally everything that you listed there was like exposing the mules with 2000 mules, Durham's gonna bring up the corruption, Trump's secretly still the president with devolution, etc, etc.
The reason why QAnon got bigger than the Illuminati was because it had a protagonist.
The biggest the Illuminati ever got was Beyonce yelling at people in one of her songs.
Whereas we have elected officials in fucking Congress now because of QAnon.
Yeah.
So they need a new hero.
And that was the whole thing with Carrie Lake and that shit was just, oh shit, our new champion is going to rise up and like win office.
Then she's going to be, she's going to be the president after Trump and like keep the Q continuum going strong, busting the deep state.
So.
They need a new hero or they need a new angle.
I have no idea what that angle could be because like devolution was about as wild and as dumb as it could get where you're like, oh, Trump may have lost the presidency, but he's actually the shadow president.
He's still really running things.
And it's just like.
Yeah, I don't, I mean, maybe you could do something with like the alliance of good guys.
You could do a thing with like Putin and Xi and MBS and Kim Jong Un.
You could kind of make an Avengers of like tyrants and dictators and be like, they're the ones who are going to save the world by like doing the thing.
So there's always ways to gin up fake hope around monsters and terrible people.
But I don't exactly know what the angle that QAnon is going to work is going to be on that front.
Yeah, I mean, uh... I don't have anything to add to that.
Generally, like, my impression was just sort of the same, right?
It's like, it seems really, like, difficult to pluck or, I guess, construct out of thin air, like, a whole new mythos or whatever, where you could just sort of work inside of this mythos.
And no matter how many L's they're taking right now, it doesn't mean the QAnon stuff is dead.
It just means that, like, Like, once Trump is properly vanquished, then there's gonna have to be, like, a harder pivot.
But I think the pivot is gonna be centralized around another, like, figure that can save them versus another enemy for them to defeat.
The enemy's already, like, pretty clear.
They just need somebody, like, to rally around.
Once the previous guy they were rallying around gets thoroughly crushed by the Deep State, they're gonna ignore him.
at his heroic sacrifice and they're going to prop up subdue Ron DeSantis. They're going to be like
it's DeSanta. DeSanta Claus is here. DeSanctimonious. Yeah, like, yeah, like that's the thing is that
the main goal for Trump is to become a good martyr at the end of his story because
he has to become the next generation of John F. Kennedy because Kennedy was obviously murdered
by the deep state because he was going to kick their asses.
So when Trump fails, however that is, either by going to jail or losing his bid for the presidency or just dropping dead in the near future, At some point, the martyrization of Trump will be a big part of the movement, where they have to be like, well, Trump fought the good fight the way JFK did, but that darn deep state was just too strong for him, and now we need someone else to pick up the mantle of Kennedy and Trump and carry it across the finish line for us.
So I think that's pretty much where we're going to be going with that.
Maybe it will be better for everyone if Trump just gets his ass paddled and then doesn't peacefully slip away in his sleep or whatever or die by any means because then they'll just be this like lame duck loser guy that's just like on the outside just being like hey remember me guys I was so great and like you know some people will still just be like yeah you were great but then a lot of people also just be like I don't know about that guy that guy he lost pretty bad And that'll just put a stink on him that means he can never truly become a martyr.
That'd be great.
Yeah, I think what you just said there is a really great point.
The worse things are for Trump, the better it is for his mythology.
Because if he goes to jail or he were to be assassinated, oh my god, he's the ultimate king.
He's the greatest hero ever.
The Deep State threw everything they could at him.
They railroaded him and put him in prison.
Or they assassinated him.
They did that kind of stuff.
If Trump, like, literally spends all the rest of his days as a free man and just runs in 2024 and loses, and then is just a bitch who shows up on Fox News every now and then, that looks so much worse!
And he's just absolute shit for it.
So it's just, yeah.
I think that's a very, like, weird, like, sort of, like, way the Trump's, like, saga plays out for him.
Where it's just, like, It actually would do good for your, like, story and for future generations to venerate you if you were to die in prison for your crimes.
Instead of just, like, being- Oh, yeah.
The martyr narrative goes a long, long way for him as the, uh, like, dumpy- rather than the dumpy loser.
Yeah, the falsely imprisoned hero, the champion of the people that was silenced by the Deep State with their fraudulent trials against him.
Oh, that'd be chef's kiss kind of shit.
That would go on for forever.
So yeah, that is, I hope that, I hope we covered that.
Reverend Sina Fact asks, the creative fiends at Tumblr have come up with an entire fake Scorsese movie called Goncharov.
I'd like to ask what fake or imaginary film, media, or book do you wish existed?
I just I hadn't heard anything about Goncharov.
And then I found out today that Goncharov has more fan fiction on AO3 than James Cameron's Avatar.
So a film that's never existed has more fan fiction than one of the highest grossing films of all time.
So there's your Goncharov fact.
God, what fake media do I wish really existed?
There's a lot of things that I wish had, like, second seasons, or, um... I'm not... I'm not a huge horror or horror game fans, but, um... P.T.
is just, like... I've watched a couple playthroughs of that.
It's so fucking amazing.
And, uh, if that full game could have gotten off the ground, uh...
That would be really cool.
The full-on Silent Hill by Kojima with Del Toro and Junji Ito doing character design.
Like, maybe it would have been shit, but just the little thing we got, PT, was so amazing.
So, the full game of that I wish existed.
Uh, if I get to... the quest asker didn't mention video games.
If I got to choose video games, I would probably... I've always lusted after an actually good City of Heroes.
Like, a game that lived up to the promise of the character creator in the City of Heroes and the way that, like, it's encounter design was structured with just, like, wave after wave of these mobs that it felt really fun to be beating the ass of as a superhero.
Unfortunately, the rest of that game was very flawed.
But if it has to be a media I can watch or read or whatever, I would really like a good... Please, just make it good.
We were so close back in 2011 or whatever, but I want a good reboot of Thundercats.
And if I get to have my hand all the way on the wheel, I would like that served up either by Gindy Tartakovsky or Studio Mappa.
I just either want it to be Gindy or I want it to be some insane Japanese anime studio because I just really want Thundercats fight Sakuga.
I just want to see... I feel like Gindy would take it and do something incredible with it so like I'd kind of rather prefer him but man I'd really just love to watch Liono beat some ass like done by like Studio Trigger or whatever you know what I mean?
Has there been an anime of American football?
Because I think that would be, like, hilarious.
Yes, it's called My Show 21.
Excellent, I'll have to get into that.
Then my dreams are manifest.
The other thing that I've always wanted is, like, when the movie Sing from Disney came out, I believe that's the name.
It's the one where all the animals are, like, singing the talent shows.
Oh, not Disney, but yeah.
It's DreamWorks, I think.
Yeah.
Yeah, but when it first like when the first commercials came out and they were like it's gonna be like American Idol and all these like characters are gonna be trying to win the championship.
I was just like that's gonna be really interesting because I want to see how they handle the characters that lose and what their reactions to that is and like like having having like trying to explain to children that like defeat is a thing that can happen and that you can accept it and you can move on and like having like characters that Perform and just being able to overcome stage fright, being able to embody the stage presence they wanted to be, that that's a meaningful thing, and that coming in third is still a victory.
And I was like, this movie could be really interesting.
And then I was reading some things about the movie, and then they're like, oh yeah, the competition got canceled, then they all had to rally to save the town or whatever.
And I was like, god damn it!
The thing that I was looking forward to is totally lost.
I would love...
I would love a story like that where it's just like, yeah, not everybody wins, but like how you handle that not winning is relevant.
And it could even be a kind of thing where like the person who comes in second is like super mad.
And the person who came in third is really happy and explaining like that and being like, yeah, this is why this person finds third place, like so awesome.
And why the person who got second, not so happy about it.
So I just like, I'm like, Isn't it sort of the lesson at the end of the first Rocky movie?
Like, doesn't he lose?
But it's just like, I achieved a moral victory by going the distance.
Oh yeah, yeah.
That was the thing.
It was like, he was a bomb.
He came up from nowhere.
Yeah.
They do it again in Creed.
Like, he doesn't win in Creed, but the guy, like, recognizes him.
Yeah.
Oh yeah, yeah.
I just think that that kind of thing in a children's story was very interesting to me.
And then it was just like, nope, we're not doing it.
I can go first here because I was on a bus and they literally broke out a three-card Monty game in the back of the bus.
And it was fucking ridiculous.
The best part about it was, is literally me and my friend, who still lives in Vegas, we saw a guy get egged on by his wife to go play.
And we were laughing with the guy, telling him, there's no way you can play that game.
And then he did it.
And he lost, I think, a couple hundred dollars.
And then his wife was furious with him.
And we were like, this is three card Monty.
Do you not know what's going on?
Have you not seen this a million times?
This is like, it's literally a thing that has a name.
It's a scam.
And it was just like, Oh my God, just, just absolutely, absolutely just couldn't believe it.
I mean, every now and then you'd see it in Vegas.
Every now and then you'd see a street hustler pulling that shit.
And it's just like, It's brazen.
It's really brazen to do this thing that is a very obvious scam and you're just doing it in front of people and you're making it work.
You're actually pulling it off and taking people's money.
I don't know about the smoothest grift.
I definitely fell for A guy calling me and pretending to be the electric company and saying my bill was overdue.
And saying my auto pay had malfunctioned.
So I fell for that.
I'll cop to that.
It was smooth enough to get me, but I don't know how smooth it actually was.
Uh, so the smoothness of this one is going to be up to the listener.
Uh, so I apologize in advance if you think that this is more tragic than smooth.
Uh, but I used to work at a place that sold lottery tickets, like scratch off lottery and like the other types, but scratch off lottery is what's important here.
And one of our biggest customers was, uh, a gentleman who was wheelchair bound, uh, because he had been in an accident at one point in his life.
And he had a big binder like chronicling so he like on top of he he couldn't speak or any of that stuff either like he was severely disabled due to this accident.
He had a binder of a bunch of like photos of him before the accident and like like that tells his story like up to and including like the newspaper article like covering the incident and all that.
that he would like give to strangers so that way he could get donations from them and like obviously
this tactic is incredibly potent uh because it's a very sad tale but it turns out he was doing just
fine he would take that money and he would come to play the lottery with it. Savage.
Yeah oh god did he did he make you tell you the numbers of the tickets?
Did he want to play 75 through 1?
No, he was playing scratch off, thankfully.
But I'm saying that, that's what people would do to me.
They'd look at the scratchies and they'd be like, hey, the $10.
Ticket 13, what number is that?
And you'd have to lift up.
He was not verbal enough for that sort of chicanery.
Don't get me wrong, I had to deal with people that were about that life, but this particular customer, not so much.
But before I started working there, I had encountered him for the first time when I was leaving a Starbucks, and I was just like, oh snap.
I was with some people leaving a Starbucks, and he was like, Going through his process with some people next to us.
So I saw the binder of tragedy and all that stuff and I was like, wow.
I was like, what an incredibly potent tool for that purpose.
And then later on when I found out he was doing just well, he was doing just fine and he was using all that disposably and going to play the lottery, I was just like, I don't know how to feel about this.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And Cleodora Silvestri, our Hellworld Grand Inquisitor says, with Twitter on fire from
its own incompetent dictator, elongated muskrat, and is reinstating the worst of humanity back
to service.
Do you think you will succeed in turning it in the truth 2.0 before the entire doomed
experiment collapses on itself for good?
Bye.
At this point, yes.
I think he is going to make a truth, Social 2.0.
I think that his incompetence with handling the business side of it is actually what's going to bring it down faster than the tech side of it.
If I'm debating which way this thing gets destroyed, I'm going to go with lack of business understanding before technical issues.
Well, I don't know.
We'll see what happens the first time he tries to push an update.
Because Twitter has it, like... They keep losing engineers, and they haven't pushed a major update.
Yeah, they've just done the changing how authentication works and everything.
I feel like the way this shakes out, if it's legally able to shake out this way, which I don't know that it is, is that at some point here, the not-too-distant future, a venture capital firm, including a bunch of engineers that they have on payroll, are going to offer to buy Twitter off of Elon Musk for $12 billion that he is going to accept.
Yeah, yes!
And our final question, which was not on Twitter, but has been sent to me via other means by the long-forgotten, one of the original Grand Inquisitors, Chairman Walkman.
He asks, Magic the Gathering, any thoughts on Commander as a format?
Do you all have a preference?
I like Commander.
I didn't get into it until very recently.
I got the Warhammer 40k Commander decks and those are all pretty cool.
I don't fuck with Competitive Commander because that whole community seems like genuinely insane people.
Yeah, my relationship with Commander is sort of fraught at best.
I have been staunchly against it in the past, but I recently moved to a new area where I had access to some friends who had a Commander Cube that we sort of redesigned from the ground up as a group, and playing that has been the most fun I could imagine Commander being.
But at a core level, I just I really hate more than anything else.
I hate the political bullshit that comes up in a multiplayer game where it's just like it just seems so frequently that you're in a position of kingmaking.
And the political aspect of the game and the way that, like, one-for-one removal works and stuff like that, it really just behooves you to do nothing forever.
Because if you're the first person to start taking game actions, that's a wrap for you.
I mean, unless the deck... Maybe it's different in Constructed, because, like, if you're playing even sort of remotely competitively, your deck can have, like, a weird combo finish so you can get out for being underneath the thumb of everybody punishing you for daring to play magic.
In the limited format where it's like more difficult to assemble a way to just sort of fight through it, it's really tough sometimes when you're just like... If you're playing like Lurus and you're like Lurusing stuff and you're not really doing anything, but you are taking a bunch of little game actions that are like drawing you extra cards and stuff, people just hate that shit.
They'll be like, what?
This person is doing stuff and we have to defeat them.
Meanwhile, like the blue-green player is just like...
Like, oh I'll ramp and ground everyone.
It's like, it's fine.
They're just mana ramping.
Before you know it, they have 15 mana and they're just like playing three haymakers a turn that you have to counter or you lose.
Twice now I've played a game where someone has a green red white deck and they're just their commander has goad and they're just goading someone every turn and so like And then they win with some sort of overrun effect after making a million tokens.
And it's just happened twice in a row.
Yeah, I will say that the last time we drafted our commander cube, I decided that all the commanders I had access to were poopy, so I just... We have Chromat as the commander, the five-color commander that you can play if your deck sort of fails to come together.
Because I didn't have access to a blue-red commander that was any good, so I just wanted to play blue-red.
So I just played Chromat.
I still won.
I played Hullbreaker Horror.
I spent the first like 10 turns doing nothing.
Then I played a Hullbreaker Horror with a bunch of mana in play, cards in my hand, and the game was like over immediately.
It was just like, okay, well.
That really sounds like the Catan mantra of second place is first place.
I mean it really is and like even in Commander sometimes it's like third place or fourth place is the better place to be.
Like as long as you're not in fourth place because you're getting like mana screwed or something, like you really just sort of want to quietly exist until your battlecruiser is like secretly assembled and then you want it to rise dramatically out of the ocean and everyone's just like, what?
We had no idea this was coming!
Like, we have no preparation for this!
Despite the fact that, like, it is still really fun to just be, like, trying to play, like, an aristocrat's deck, because you can, like, drain, like, in a multiplayer game, you can drain a bunch of people at once, and that feels pretty satisfying, but once you start doing stuff, everybody just, like, kicks your teeth in.
Yeah, yeah!
Yeah, you basically have to kill, you have to crush everybody before the retaliation can happen, otherwise it goes real bad.
Anyway, so that's that.
Magic question of the week.
Yes.
Okay, so now to the regular question that ends this segment is, what are you guys looking forward to?
Mine's easy and cheating, so I'm going to do mine.
I'm retroactively excited for having seen a new film called The Menu.
It was a lot of fun.
Oh yeah, was it?
Yeah, we went to go see it.
It was either opening night or close to it, but not by design.
We just happened, me and my friends just happened to have some free time, so we went and we scoped it out, and it was not what I was expecting in some ways, and exactly what I was expecting in other, and Ralph Fiennes is very good at acting, as is Anya Taylor-Joy, so yeah, I mean, it's just like, it's just a lot of fun.
It's just a solid fun, like, black comedy thriller.
So, I recommend the menu to anybody who's looking for a movie recommendation.
I'm not sure how well it's going to do coming out between Black Panther and Avatar, but hopefully it finds its niche and does well enough that we get more stuff from the people responsible.
I'm excited for the big Marvel Snap announcement they just made.
They are fixing a lot of the problems I had with the game, and that you can just start, you'll be able to just buy specific cards directly, which, holy shit, we desperately needed.
And they announced a bunch of new cards.
Unsurprisingly, a handful of them are El Namor and friends.
Mostly his friends, because Namor is already in the game.
But a lot of the new cards look cool and fun, and I'm also... The next season card is Silver Surfer, and I like Silver Surfer, so, you know, hooray for me!
And he seems like he might be good.
Yep.
And Thanos is going to be in the game soon as a thing.
As an actual playable card and not one that you can just get randomly from cards that say you get a random card.
Because if he's not in your starting deck, he doesn't do his thing.
Right.
Yeah, that was the thing.
I was like, I had no idea that he was unplayable until now because I would get him randomly and I'd be like, well, man, I can't wait to try the Thanos infinity deck.
And I was like, nope, you actually can't do that.
So tough shit.
Yeah, so I was happy about that too, but also tomorrow is Thanksgiving, which I'm looking forward to without the L-based theme song for it.
Beets, greens, potatoes, tomatoes!
Damn right!
Also, there's going to be three hopefully acceptable games of sports ball tomorrow.
The Detroit Lions have turned it around a little, but they're playing the Incredible Buffalo Bills.
That'll be interesting.
The Cowboys and Giants both have very good records, but people think the Giants are total frauds.
They're probably right, so that'll be very interesting.
And then my fiercely mediocre New England Patriots are playing the incredibly fraudulent Minnesota Vikings at the end of the night.
So that will be entertaining in a wallet lightning way, most likely.
So that'll be great.
So yeah, that's what I'm looking forward to.
Good stuff.
Well, on that note, it's time for us to hop on our ship and travel across the ocean, away from Hellworld to the New World, where we will meet the natives, and we will give thanks with them, and nothing bad will happen.
Don't worry about it.
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These are, you know, series where we go over Q-related media and dunk on it, for the most part.
Or sometimes we weirdly appreciate it, like when we watched What was the boat movie?
I can't remember now.
White Squall.
Oh, White Squall.
White Squall.
That was the one.
Yeah, we watched White Squall at one point, and I was just like, hey, what's the deal?
This is actually kind of good.
Anyway, so yeah.
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Like our good friend, who apparently has a name that triggers the bejesus out of my white guilt, but this is the name given, so it's the name I will say.
A restless native.
Thank you, a restless native, for Making me feel very guilty about my Caucasian heritage, especially having followed that Thanksgiving joke I made at the top of the outro.
Very fun.
Uh, quite good.
Good rig to step on me, uh, content.
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Thank you as always to DJ Biddlewell Effort for the use of our intro song.
Still no social media for them.
For the time being, the rest of this crew are available on Twitter until Elon Musk burns that all the way to the ground into a crater and then the planet that the crater's on explodes and then all the fragments turn into dust in the cosmos.
So, if you want to find us on Twitter, you can find Frosty, the voiceover artist who does our voices for stuff when we need it.
That's H-E-L-L-W-Q-R-L-D.
You can find the show at Hellworld.
That's H-E-L-L-W-Q-R-L-D.
Look at us, so clever.
You can find me at Hellworld L, Sarge at Sargent Hell, and Mike Rains at Poker Politics.
So for another successful Exclamation Point episode of The Adventures of Hellworld, that's
right, I just got my check from the Cabal, and guess what?
I'm worth a hundred million dollars now, so me and Mr. Beast, we're gonna go make burgers together.
I have been one of your hosts, the Mysterious Al, joined as always, or most of the time, by our good friend Sarge and our expert at all things QAnon crazy, Mr. Mike Rains.
