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Nov. 17, 2022 - Adventures in HellwQrld

01:29:24

Adventures in HellwQrld Episode #113: Trump's Back Baby!

Donald Trump is running for President. No you haven't fallen into a time loop, this is breaking news. The Soft Boys cover that and Kari Lake losing her election and all sorts of other stuff in this week's hopefully entertaining and informative podcast. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Time	Text
	I'm going to play a little bit of the original.
	Content.
	I am Mike Rains, a.k.a.
	PokerandPolitics, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld.
	I am joined, as always, by Sarge.
	Hello from not a bunker.
	means we have to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people.
	Listener discretion advised.
	Hello everybody. I am Mike Rains, AKA poker and politics, and welcome to an episode of adventures in hell world.
	I am joined as always by Serge.
	Hello from not a bunker. We'll get into it.
	Thank God for that.
	And the mysterious El.
	Hello, my beautiful babies.
	Regular voice.
	Nobody ever expects regular voice.
	You gotta zag.
	You just gotta hit them with what they're not expecting.
	Regular voice off the top rope.
	But because it's sort of boring, I will add uwu.
	There you go.
	A little uwu?
	Sarge, you like the uwu?
	You a big fan?
	Uh, yes.
	UWU!
	You know me, always in our group chat, just constantly with the uwu.
	We had to have a talk.
	It's like, Sarge, we think you're overdoing the uwu.
	Well, a big part of it is because we all know that you're a DuckTales fan, so understandably you thought that the theme song said DuckTales uwu.
	And you were just like, you were very excited that it started to get mainstream with e-girls.
	Yes, with e-girls.
	Hey man, they're the ones calling themselves e-girls.
	I've always thought that term was stupid, but I'm still seeing people hashtag e-girl
	on TikTok, so what are you going to do?
	Yeah, I mean...
	If you're a 19 year old lady looking down the barrel of a TikTok saying uwu, you would
	probably hashtag e-girl.
	Dude, I'm hip.
	I'm with it.
	I know what the youth's like.
	Yes.
	I mean, you are the one that sends me the majority of the TikToks I watch.
	Yeah.
	I mean, I have a commute now, so I do be watching TikToks, and that shit will take me all over the place.
	The TikTok algorithm is really aggressive.
	If you linger too long on one single thing, it'll just destroy you.
	You're not wrong.
	I liked one, like, not quite AMV and one cosplay one, and that is all I'm getting right now.
	Yeah, and it takes a while to, like, wash it out.
	I finally washed out my YouTube algorithm of magic videos, like, for the most part, because I just haven't watched one in two months.
	I needed to force myself to just be like, hey, I'm tired of YouTube being mono-magic-the-gathering videos.
	We're done with this.
	So I had to paddle YouTube a bit.
	I had to give it some hard lesson about that.
	I had to cut it off cold turkey.
	YouTube has earned a sharp rebuke for its algorithm attempting to make you enjoy a card game that is unenjoyable.
	So I never understood the phrase cold turkey.
	Do we know where that comes from?
	I really don't know.
	I literally someone had Someone got clean from alcohol and then a lot of people
	were like don't you ever try to quit alcohol cold turkey?
	It's the worst thing you could possibly do and just so many of the replies involved the phrase cold turkey
	I just became I was like Where does that come from?
	Actually, I never bothered to Google it.
	I mean, I know that I could easily Google it, but I don't feel like doing that.
	So instead, I'm just going to say I don't really get it.
	Cold turkey is fine because hot.
	Yeah, I like a turkey sandwich.
	Yeah, I mean, I think it's because the ceiling on hot turkey is so low, like the best turkey I've ever had in my life is like probably not as good as cold bacon.
	You know what I mean?
	Turkey Turkey's very medium.
	It's mid, as the kids say.
	I do like mid.
	Mid's a very useful word.
	I also like it, but I feel like a lot of these kids, they're not paying their respects to the forefathers who are gamers, who have been referring to things as medium for a long time.
	Like salt.
	People just use salty all the time now, and it's just like, I demand every once in a while, I demand that you pour one out for the fighting game community.
	Nobody would be calling shit salty if it wasn't for them.
	I enjoy the fighting game community mostly because I enjoy the terms disrespect and punish.
	I just love those phrases when they use them in commentary.
	Oh yeah, the max punish.
	Anyway, as I was trying to do just moments ago, I will segue us out of this fluffing of ourselves.
	Now that we rock hard, it's time to get into the Amuse Bouche!
	It's time for a light sampling of insanity.
	Get ready for the Amuse Bouche!
	Nothing amuses the bouche like being super turgid.
	Sorry, I'm just giggling watching the reaction of my co-hosts as they hear this riff that they were not expecting coming out of me.
	Slow motion horror on their faces as it creeps over them.
	Yes, I'm still talking about being erect.
	But only until now, because it's time for us to talk about Ivermectin again.
	Didn't we finally cure COVID with Ivermectin the first time around?
	Isn't COVID over?
	Why are we talking about Ivermectin again?
	We're talking about Ivermectin because America's frontline doctors, who were one of the biggest hydroxychloroquine and Ivermectin peddling scam artists and quack cure specialists, they are falling apart And are currently embroiled in a multi-million dollar lawsuit between two factions of the group.
	Basically, on one side, you have the amorphous board of America's frontline doctors.
	And on the other side, you have their front person, visionary leader, mastermind, Simone Gold.
	And Simone, on top of being a quack cure specialist, was your typical election denier and decided to get herself
	thrown in jail for a couple months on January 6th because she stormed the Capitol. And good
	one. Yeah. So she managed to cut a deal to avoid extra jail time and instead got two months at a
	club fed. And you might be thinking, well, two months slap on the wrist, probably not that bad
	for her.
	Well, actually it was, because while she was in Club Fed for two months, the other America's Frontline doctors were like, hey, now that she can't actually do anything because she's in jail, Maybe we should look over the books of our company here and see what's going on.
	And they found a $3.6 million estate that was purchased in Florida, where Gold and her boyfriend were living, and all kinds of other living high off the hog kind of expenses.
	She had like a $50,000 a month stipend that she was just taking from the company.
	Nice, smart.
	Yeah, so basically the rest of the board, when she got out, were like, hey, what's this all about?
	And then she was like, I don't know what you're talking about.
	This was all about a scam to make me rich, you dum-dums.
	She has since taken over the website for them and writes basically press releases where she's just like, They're probably self-written, but if they're not, the person writing them is told, make sure Simone Gould looks really good in this situation.
	And so the rest of the people involved have sued her for, I believe, around $7 million, claiming embezzlement, fraud, and other funds.
	So yeah, right-wing grifting.
	Working about as good as it usually does, where... It's a good day for Ivermectin and crypto.
	Yes!
	Oh, both of these things.
	Oh my god, yes.
	Yeah, it's all going swimmingly.
	Yeah, the Ivermectin exchange has crashed and burned.
	I can't believe that we neglected to put that in the official abuse bush.
	So, let's put a pin in that for now, and we'll continue to talk about Ivermectin until we can't any longer, and then we'll talk about crypto.
	Yeah!
	Because it turns out there's a lot of crossover between the crypto and the QAnon community.
	Yeah.
	So there are no winners of this fight because it's like a collective board of directors for a company that are grifters
	versus a singular Entity who is a grifter and they're sort of they're squabbling
	because one of them discovered the other was doing better at
	money laundering or whatever or They're like, hey, how dare you out embezzle us like we're
	like we're supposed to be grifting more evenly than this Yes, pretty much what happened was they they all thought
	they were getting their slice of the ivermectin pie and it turned out that uh
	Miss gold was actually the one that was getting the lion's share of it
	The other side note of this story was that Gold's boyfriend, John Stroud, I believe was his name last time I was looking at stuff like a minute ago, and then it lost the page.
	But that dum-dum, her boyfriend, for some reason decided, you know, I'm gonna fight this.
	I'm gonna go to trial.
	Simone Gould cutting a deal and only getting two months?
	That's for her, but I'm a red-blooded American who's gonna stand up for my principles and defend my right to storm the Capitol.
	He did that and got convicted of everything because there were all kinds of text messages where he was like, this is fucking awesome!
	We're storming the Capitol!
	Fuck this rigged election!
	Pretty much just put all of his crimes in text format for the prosecutors to read back to the jury.
	Good.
	Nice.
	Smart.
	He got convicted of obstructing an official government proceedings, aka trying to prevent the certification of electoral vote.
	And when you get convicted of that felony, that carries a sentence of up to 20 years.
	So I hope he thinks his grifter girlfriend's going to be waiting for him on the other side of his stay at Club Fed, which will be Far more extensive than hers was.
	He is due to be sentenced in January.
	So yeah, if 20 years is the max, he's probably looking at about 10 or so.
	So yeah, he's not in great shape there.
	So good job, buddy.
	When your girlfriend took the two month plea deal, probably should have been a tip that maybe I should follow her lead.
	Maybe I should try to not do Years and years of jail time for the crime that she basically, like, I mean, let's not kid ourselves.
	She obviously led him into this.
	I mean, she's the election selling person from all the reports.
	He's an underwear model and he's younger than her.
	And the power dynamic of the relationship, she was kind of a bully to him.
	So it's like, maybe, maybe, buddy.
	I mean, yeah, you probably just plead out.
	But it's hard to fault him for being along for that ride.
	He was just getting, like, plow ass in the Bahamas or whatever, wherever this $3 million mansion is.
	He's got a glorious mansion and he's just living like he's ultra-fabulously wealthy.
	And, you know, I'm sure he weighed that against his job, which would be having sex with that woman, and he was like, okay, this is fine.
	Yes!
	It's all coming together.
	Yeah.
	Oh yeah.
	I mean, yeah, he was living the good life.
	I'm just saying that when that was what's going on, I don't throw that away
	for a political stance on attacking the Capitol.
	I'm like, I get to continue my multimillion dollar grift and, uh, have
	my relationship with my ivermectin peddling quack cure doctor lady.
	I'm gonna roll the dice on this indictment against me.
	That seems like a better plan.
	Definitely can't put yourself in an indictment range.
	I mean, you know, maybe you negotiate for a better plea because you're just like a dumb idiot trophy boyfriend.
	And you're just like, look, how about some like house arrest or whatever in this mansion?
	Yes!
	Let me go back to my mansion in Florida where I can just have an ankle bracelet on while I'm banging Ivermectin Dr. Lady.
	Can we do that?
	Yeah, well except for the two months she's doing in jail.
	A time in which I get to bang other ladies in the mansion.
	It's gonna be great.
	Have you guys ever tried underwear modeling?
	It really opens the door to a bunch of crazy career paths.
	I was about to say the phrase mankini.
	Yeah, I mean, I feel like if you're an underwear model, you probably have doors open to you that don't open for regular people.
	You would hope.
	This is like, hey, your body is attractive, never.
	We would like to present it to the masses to sell our underwear line.
	Something tells me that that level of being attractive is easy mode.
	Truly easy mode.
	Especially if you're a Caucasian male, which I assume this guy is, because again, January 6th, etc.
	Alright, speaking of Caucasian males, let's talk about Caucasian males' favorite new thing.
	Cryptocurrency.
	Boy howdy does a white guy love a cryptocurrency.
	I myself have to take two pills a day to ward off my lust.
	It's like I have lycanthropy, only my impulse is, instead of turning into a bipedal wolf creature, is to just take all of my money and throw it directly into the garbage.
	Batman loves him a criminal, white guys love some crypto.
	So in case you've been living under a rock, FTX, which I believe was the third largest crypto exchange in the world.
	One of the largest, yeah.
	Yeah, it was one of the largest at least.
	I believe it was number three on that list, but I could be wrong about that.
	They have decided to do a nice big bankruptcy, and the ripple effects of this are far-reaching, and I'm sure there's absolutely no crossover between the QAnon community and the crypto community.
	But for a lark, let's toss it over to our crypto correspondent, Mr. Mike Rades.
	Mike, talk to us about the world of crypto.
	Okay, so you're gonna love where this goes, because it's so stupid.
	So, the original The concept of this was that basically the guy that ran FTX, he donated like $50 million to Democrats.
	So that was all a scam and a plot and crypto was all designed to like, like... Moloch, etc.
	New World Order.
	Oh, all of it.
	This ignores... Rothschild!
	Yes!
	Bilderberg!
	Now you're getting it.
	Yeah, oh man, we need to do a We Didn't Start the Fire of QAnon stuff, where we just scream stuff like that incoherently and try to rhyme scheme it.
	After like a year, it's the return of the Build-A-Bear group.
	Yes!
	But the problem for the QAnon direct line of Democrat crypto grift was that the FTX leader guy's best friend, his BFF, who was like his co-CEO, donated $24 million to Republicans.
	So they were trying to buy people on both sides of the political aisle to keep regulation away from crypto.
	So that was phase one of QAnon's reaction to this was like, oh, the Patriots have done it.
	They've chopped out the legs from under the deep state and shattered their criminal crypto cartel.
	They then decided to add an extra layer to it because at some point in the Ukraine-Russia war, Ukraine opened up an option for people to be able to donate crypto to Ukraine to help them fund their defense of their homeland against Russian invasion.
	Right.
	And QAnon then sees upon this and they've created this Rube Goldbergian contraption of embezzlement where the Democrats give Ukraine billions and billions of dollars, Ukraine then
	turns that billions of dollars into crypto and then gives it back to the Democrats who
	then use it to win their illegitimate elections in 2022.
	My favorite, I had the greatest reply to this in one of my Twitter threads was someone said,
	this is literally the opposite of money laundering.
	This is money dirtying, where instead of trying to make your money that you obtain from illicit means seem legitimate, the Democrats were like, okay, we have this giant pile of money, and since we run the government, we can just do whatever we want with it.
	Let's give it to Ukraine so they can do crimes with it.
	And then Ukraine can give that money to the crime people to give it to us for more crimes.
	The crimiest do of them all.
	Yeah, so, FDX had $9 billion in loans, but they were in the exchange.
	But they were only holding maybe 1 billion in assets, and there was essentially a run on the bank.
	And they don't have any federal protection because they're fucking crypto idiots.
	There's so much going on with this, it is moving so fast.
	I literally watched a video by CoffeeZilla, so if you want the good shit on crypto, I recommend CoffeeZilla.
	He, in his video, had to put an additional 10 minutes on because 24 hours later, after he'd edited, even more stuff had happened.
	The leader of FTX might be in Argentina.
	We're still, like, people are still trying to confirm that.
	He might have run away to Argentina.
	The spider web of shell companies and loans and corporations that are part of FTX is Byzantine, and I've looked at a chart of it.
	It is baffling.
	But they were moving money around left, right, and center.
	He might be in Argentina.
	He was... I might have this detail wrong, but I'm pretty sure I don't.
	He was a part of a 10-person poly queue.
	These 10 people ran FTX together, and lived together, and dated each other.
	And they basically...
	Robbed all of crypto and crashed it.
	Allegedly.
	Details are still coming in.
	This situation is really complicated.
	And he really loved himself some League of Legends.
	He did!
	He wasn't very good at it though.
	He never got out of Bronze 2.
	Which is what I saw.
	Which is fucking savage.
	Whoever reported that.
	I played League of Legends for all of a month and I managed to get out of Bronze.
	Get rekt, noob!
	Yeah, literally.
	Speaking of this stuff moving pretty fast, even just this morning, the collapse-rippling effect has caused Genesis, which is a brokerage firm that does crypto lending or whatever, they've just stopped their new operations.
	They're just like, yeah, we're not doing it anymore.
	We're shutting that whole thing down right now, because, you know, this is just sort of like a... This is like a devastating... It's like one of the pillars of this, like, fake-ass community sort of collapsing.
	It's gonna bring some shit down with it.
	And if you had no love for crypto, like some of us have no love for crypto, it's glorious to watch.
	I'll full disclosure, I made a quick hundred dollars on Dogecoin like a year and a half ago, but I've stayed the fuck away from it since and have nothing to do with it because it just, it's going to and has done real harm to people.
	And it's gonna get... I think with this much money, like, lost and in the wind, they're looking at, like, real laws coming down the pipe, and Congress is gonna start paying attention.
	Yeah, and like, you know, they keep having these things, where it's just like, you know, they'll have some sort of crisis, and it's just like, oh boy.
	That, like, people are really gonna start wanting to legislate them now, and no matter how slow the government is, if you let enough of these pile up, at some point, like, regulation is coming down the pipeline.
	That's the thing is, is I mean, I remember all these crypto companies.
	I remember like Kristen Sinema got a pile of money from a crypto company and all that kind of stuff.
	But at some point, so many people get their asses kicked from crypto.
	And crypto is such a new, like scam, that it's really hard to build that sort of brand trust.
	Laws don't move fast enough.
	Right.
	But what I was, what I was going to say is that like, if you're like big tobacco or the alcohol industry, you've had a long track record of centuries of harming people and ruining lives.
	And you've got fat checkbooks to like protect that.
	Whereas crypto is so new money in this shit that like, Hey, you're like, Hey, we ruined people's lives, but here's a pile of money, Mr. Senator, here's a pile of money, Mrs. Congressperson.
	And then they're just like, We don't know you.
	We'll take our big tobacco and our alcohol money, and that's fine, but you fucking weirdos... I didn't know you two weeks ago.
	I get a pile of money from everybody.
	Your new money doesn't rate here, buddy.
	Yeah, thanks for your less traceable money.
	We'll happily pocket that and pretend like it never happened, that we don't know you.
	I mean, there's so many, uh, God, there was that guy who was digging tunnels under his house up in Maryland.
	He got rich off of crypto.
	Someone slipped Alex Jones a cool 9 million in crypto.
	It's really been used for, we're a long way away from the Silk Road days where people were just like, for the most part being cool, buying drugs with it.
	And, uh, Now they're doing billions of dollars in crime and crashing markets.
	Yeah, the Miami Heat, they were playing in FTX Arena.
	They've announced that they are no longer affiliated with them and they're seeking a new deal for the naming rights to the building.
	Amazing.
	Yeah, there are a bunch of athletes that were in bed with FTX that are getting caught up in this.
	Like, sponsorship deals with, like, sports, like, athletics places, like, some racing federation, I think, was, like, had FDX all over it.
	And then, uh, uh, Game iPlay, Storybook Brawl, uh, their parent company is somehow also FDX, who bought out their developer at one point.
	So, yeah, this, the FDX thing is, like, going buck wild.
	It's crazy.
	And also, fuck them.
	Crypto's a scam.
	It's hard to share.
	It's just the newest scam, like, It sounds like a get-rich-quick scheme, and those, like, are obvious, like, bullshit.
	You know what I mean?
	Like, if that worked, everyone would just do it because there'd be no repercussions, but if you're just wise enough to not try to get in on the ground floor of something, you watch a lot of, like, most of the people that got it on the ground floor end up collapsing into a hole that was beneath the ground floor.
	You landed the plane on that metaphor.
	It was a little shaky, but...
	He got it down.
	If you walk away from it, it's a good landing.
	Yeah.
	Speaking of pretty shaky, our last abuse-boosh item for the week, the anus-puckering-near-miss of the... A couple of loose missiles may have landed outside of the field of play in the war of Russia v. Ukraine.
	And it may have landed in old Poland, which is a NATO country.
	Mike, I'll let you fill in the details from there.
	Yeah, so we had a nice little 12 hour moment yesterday where folks were wondering, is the world going to end?
	Because a couple of Polish people were killed as a result of what appeared to be a Russian rocket straying away from Ukraine and landing in Poland.
	And I saw all kinds of reactions on Twitter.
	Article 5 was trending on Twitter.
	Boy, was it.
	World War 3 was twending.
	Twending?
	Yeah, twending.
	I saw, again, because QAnon has to make everything about themselves, they were like, oh, what are the odds the World War 3 scare event would be happening on today when we all know what's going to happen tonight?
	And they're just trying to distract us.
	So all of this happened, and then thankfully it came out that these appear to be the debris from Ukrainian counter missiles that were trying to shoot down the missiles that were being fired at them.
	And as a result, pretty much everyone's reaction now was like, oh, it was a terrible thing, but no harm, no foul.
	Russia is still to blame for this because Ukraine wouldn't have fired those rockets if they weren't trying to shoot down Russian missile attacks.
	But at the end of the day, we understand that Russia wasn't trying to inflame the war and make this bigger than it was.
	We get to keep things where they are at the low simmer of just Ukraine beating the shit out of Russia.
	And us giving even more money and weapons to Ukraine.
	Here's where I remind the audience that I'm a wild card.
	I'm a loose cannon.
	You don't know if I'm gonna zig or zag.
	Uh, and that is when I say... I feel like there's pretty much equal odds that it actually wasn't a Russian rocket, but, like, they were just like, only two people got killed.
	If it comes out that this is actually a Russian rocket, then, like, it's gonna pop off.
	Let's just...
	It wasn't intentional, but it did come from Russia.
	However, that's gonna make this real sticky, so we're just gonna say, yeah, it was a Soviet-era rocket from Ukraine, it's fine.
	I mean, that is a plausible thing.
	This sort of situation is so delicate that it could have been a thing where they're like, It was Russian, but we're not going to say it was because we don't want this to get worse than it was.
	And it also seems like there's no way in hell that even if it was Russian that it would have been intentional.
	Russia's not just like, yo, we're going to attack Poland now.
	Well, the thing is that literally everything I've read about the Ukraine-Russia war is that Poland's military is fucking ridiculous right now.
	I've seen things where people were talking like Poland should just leave NATO, just take Moscow, and then be like, okay, now I'm back in NATO.
	Like they could basically the Polish military at this moment, especially given what the way Russia's performed
	right now, Poland could like dog walk Russia if they really wanted to.
	But yeah, in the NFL draft of nations, militaries, Russia was highly over evaluated.
	Yeah.
	And yeah, so I think that's what else saying is very possible.
	I mean, the movie 13 Days, I'm sure you can take like some creative liberties and stuff like that, but it's about the Cuban Missile Crisis.
	There is the scene where American planes, after the original discovery of the Russian nuclear missiles in Cuba, they're like, well, we need more planes to fly over and get more photos to really lock this shit down.
	And there's one scene where they have a couple planes fly by and the Cubans shoot at the planes and the planes take the photos and they fly away and then when they get back home...
	Like, the pilot gets out, and he's looking at the bullet holes in his plane, and his commanding officer's like, those are bird strikes.
	And the guy's like, are they .35 caliber or .45 caliber bird strikes?
	His commanding officer's like, they're bird strikes.
	They're fucking bird strikes, and that's how this is gonna go down.
	So fuck off with your smarmy little talk about getting shot at.
	You did not get shot at.
	Bird strikes.
	Yeah, I mean, you know, I just, this is one of those, uh, it's one of like the, the, the, oh my god, Epstein found dead in his cell!
	Like, it's one of those things where it's just like, okay, I mean, like, either way, no harm, no foul, so I don't mind admitting that I have a little tinfoil hat I put on for occasions like this, where I'm just like, was it?
	Either way, positive outcome.
	Unfortunately, two innocent Polish people got killed in a missile strike, but the missile strike did not cover Russia, and therefore their stupid war against Ukraine has not escalated into actual nuclear World War III Armageddon.
	Right.
	Adjusting my tie.
	Tugs on collar.
	I know for a fact that there are... I know multiple people that are on exercises in Europe right now.
	Mostly pull-ups.
	Yeah.
	Wakka Wakka.
	No, they're doing bullet cleaning exercises.
	But, like, we're ready to rock, and that's nerve-wracking.
	Yes.
	Thanks for making that shit dark on us, Sarge.
	Much appreciated.
	Yeah.
	Way to really spice up the... That's the nature of it.
	We're not here playing hopscotch!
	This is QAnon!
	The amuse-bouche is supposed to be the light, fluffy segment.
	Here you are trying to Christopher Nolan it, talking about bullet cleaning.
	No, I'm going to zoom in on the Bruce Wayne's mother's pearls, just watch them shatter again for the millionth time in a movie.
	And I'll be happy to admit that much like our man Christopher Nolan, I think the Sarge is wildly overrated.
	Just so overrated.
	What an overrated guy.
	OK, speaking of overrated, it's time for us to go into our headline news segment, and we're going to be talking about the most overrated thing there is, American politics.
	From the digital headlines to the digital front lines, it's Cues in the News!
	Shut your gob, we have to talk about election results.
	You're the one of us who truly cared about this.
	You were very excited going into the election.
	We're on the other side of it now.
	So talk us through it, buddy.
	How'd it go?
	Well, the big news was we were waiting for the American Southwest to confirm that MAGA had been defeated.
	And it was.
	In Nevada, the Democrat won.
	Costo, I believe, is her last name.
	I can never say it right.
	But anyways, Lax-Alt, which is an unbelievably clunky name.
	That seems like a name you wouldn't want to run with in politics.
	Lax-Alt.
	Sounds like, I don't know, Ex-Lax or something.
	That guy who apparently everyone in Nevada was like, Real bad business.
	But he managed to lose the seat for the Republicans.
	He managed to not unseat the Democrats.
	It was a little touch and go for a while there, but those evil mail-in ballots carried the Democrats to victory yet again.
	And then from Nevada.
	What a surprise.
	Yeah.
	What a shocking surprise.
	All those mules.
	All the mules.
	They weren't looking in Nevada for the Nevada mules.
	And for the record, the Nevada mules are known as the Nevada Culinary Union, which is aggressively Democrat because the Democrats are the party that actually cares about unions, shockingly.
	And the Culinary Union worked very hard to make sure all of their workers voted in drop boxes.
	In the mail around Nevada.
	And then when the call came out for what's called ballot curing, which is basically, we checked your signature on your envelope with your signature we had on file it didn't match or there was something wrong.
	We need you to verify this really was you.
	The process of ballot curing, there were like, I don't know, like 15,000 or so outstanding ballots that needed to be cured.
	The Culinary Union was like, we got in touch with all of our people and we've had like 6,000 ballots cured within 24 hours.
	They were on it.
	They were on it to make sure all their workers ballots got counted.
	So yeah, the Culinary Union carrying the Democrat over the finish line.
	So good on them and unions are a good thing and you should support them.
	But From there, we go to America's new crazy land, Arizona, where QAnon's greatest hero, their champion, their new god empress, Carrie Lake, was looking so good, and then it stayed that way.
	She lost.
	Carrie Lake, enemy of the free people of Middle Earth, was defeated.
	And, um, this is something that QAnon is not accepting.
	That rigs... Oh no, they don't like it.
	They really hate Arizona.
	Like...
	I saw some guy, some weepy, blubbering white ringer say, uh, don't forget what Maricopa County did to us in this election.
	It's like, yeah, they voted.
	They fucking voted.
	That's what happened to you.
	You dumb racist chuds nominated a lady who in front of a group, got in front of voters and was like, Hey, Any voters, any people here like John McCain?
	And some people were like, yeah, Arizona's like pride and joy, John McCain.
	And she was like, get the fuck out, you pieces of shit.
	John McCain's a piece of shit and his version of the Republican Party is dead.
	And it's like, uh, Kerry, you're, you're not the governor yet.
	You, I don't know, there's like 40 people just walked out of the room.
	Maybe you wouldn't wanted those 40 votes.
	Nope!
	Don't want those votes!
	If you like John McCain, don't vote for me!
	And this is Arizona!
	The land of John McCain!
	Fuck him!
	I mean, just, just... I love how, even, even I've seen a lot of grouse on Twitter where people were just like...
	Look how popular Carrie Lankin is on social media.
	Look how unpopular her opponent is.
	How is it possible that she could possibly lose?
	It's crazy.
	That doesn't make any sense.
	And it's just like, wow, the conservative party in America, Republicans, uh, I don't know why I called them the conservative party, uh, Republicans in America really just can't get over the fact that like social media likes do not equal actual votes.
	That's how it works.
	Like our political system is not American Idol.
	Yeah, you can't call 12 times, and you can't unlock the Power Voter feature if you pay $10 a month or whatever.
	Oh yeah, I saw these things where, like, Katie Hobbs has, like, no followers on social media.
	When Carrie Lake holds a rally, all these people show up.
	When Hobbs holds a rally, nobody shows up!
	And it's like, Normal people don't need a cult of personality.
	Normal people just go to the ballot box, they vote against fascism, they go home.
	They don't create an identity and a life brand around somebody.
	Also, Newsflash Republicans, you don't have to tell me the Democratic candidate was boring.
	I know Democrats are boring.
	Like, I'm a lefty.
	Democrats have always been boring.
	Every once in a while you'll get an Obama, but for the most part, they're pretty boring.
	Look at how excited everybody was as soon as Sleepy Joe had his dark Brandon moments, when he started to show a little teeth and actually do some stuff.
	It was like, oh my God, what's going on?
	As somebody who lives left in America, I'm not familiar with this.
	Is this charisma?
	What's happening?
	He's memeing in the 98th percentile.
	Yeah, that's the thing, is that basically That's like kind of Biden's like superpower is that he's milquetoast and that people don't really hate him that much.
	There was a thing I saw about the polling where the people that quote-unquote generally dislike to vote Biden still voted Democrat on the whole.
	Like it was a kind of thing where like, yeah, Biden ain't doing that great of a job, but I ain't voting for a fucking fascist.
	So I mean, it's like, There were a lot of people in America who were just like, lesser of two evils?
	Sounds good to me.
	I will do that.
	I will gladly take the lesser of two evils.
	If it's between the boring guy who's kind of not getting a lot done and that person who wants to hit me in the head with a baseball bat?
	I'm gonna go with the former.
	I'm gonna take the guy that is not planning on trying to ruin my life.
	So, yes.
	Operation Boring Dude, and in this case Boring Lady, for the win.
	So, congratulations, Governor-Elect Hobbs.
	Congratulations, Haley, aka Arizona Right-Wing Watch, who will not be living in a fascist dystopia in a couple months.
	The other pivot point from this was the fact that on that ballot was also Mark Fincham, an aggressive election denier that was trying to run for Secretary of State, pretty much on the platform of, if you elect me Secretary of State, Republicans will never lose another election.
	Yeah, I remember that.
	Yeah, so our boy Mark, yeah, so our boy Fincham, who loved using the Honey Badger, that was his very hip and happening handle on social media was AZHoneyBadger on Gab.
	He lost... Because it's apparently 10 years ago.
	Yes.
	So he lost, which was great.
	Jim Marchant, who was the Fincham's version of him in Nevada, a man who literally on a stage said, when I'm Secretary of State, Donald Trump will win in 2024 in Nevada.
	Just flat out saying we're gonna rig this shit.
	He lost to my boy Cisco, who we've talked about on this podcast many times.
	Cisco, the Secretary of State-Elect of Nevada, who still doesn't have a blue checkmark on Twitter.
	So fuck you, Elon.
	He's a goddamn elected official at this point.
	He still doesn't have a checkmark.
	But for eight bucks a month, any racist, lunatic moron can be quote-unquote certified, or not anymore, because Elon took that away after a minute.
	Well, yeah, probably because a bunch of people started to use it for good.
	Yes!
	Provided you think, like, taking 18 billion dollars off the top of a pharmaceutical corporation is good.
	Which I do!
	Swish swish, good.
	Yeah, Lockheed Martin and Eli Lilly still haven't recovered from that.
	Yeah, so...
	Basically, Juan O'Savin, who I've talked about before, he was the one who encouraged all of these grifters to run for Secretary of State in an effort to sabotage elections in America.
	His entire slate of shitweasels lost.
	I believe, I think someone said maybe one person tangibly related to him won, but they're in a blood-red state, so it really kind of doesn't matter.
	All the states where they were trying to fuck with, they lost.
	And so QAnon's power at the ballot box was not great.
	It was it was actually weak and feeble, which is wonderful.
	So that was all around a great success.
	You'll love to see it.
	Yeah.
	If you're in Georgia, please work for Warnock.
	Hershel Walker is awful and bad and terrible, and he needs to lose the runoff because that would be super lame to have.
	Basically just a CTE-ridden violent lunatic who...
	Who has to have a handler?
	Someone pointed this out and it made me laugh and I referenced how wrestlers who can't talk need managers to get them through that section of the world in the wrestling business.
	But Hershel Walker's on Fox News and he always has a Republican with him as his hype man.
	It's like, now we're joined by Hershel Walker and Ted Cruz or Lindsey Graham or some other Republican who can handle 90% of the talking here.
	push a button to kill Herschel's mic. Right, and then at the very end they're like,
	Herschel now say your two lines you're supposed to say, and then Herschel says them, they're like,
	yes he did it, interview nailed. Oh my god. No way, he's just like,
	Kanye was right that he's mouthing other stuff but his mic has been cut immediately.
	Yes.
	So you just can't understand what he's saying.
	He does at one point start extending his arm at like a 45 degree angle with his palm down.
	But I mean, it could be anything.
	You can't hear what he's saying, so who knows what that means.
	Yep, could be anything.
	Could be anything.
	He's like clicking his heels together and standing very straight, but maybe he's just trying to go home.
	Maybe he's Dorothy.
	He's doing a play call.
	He's in a flashback.
	He's doing play calls.
	Yes, he's waiting to carry the rock for another teddy for the Bulldogs, which is why he got 49% of the vote in Georgia.
	Come on, people, please.
	Yeah, I'm really hoping with no one else on the ballot, since it's a runoff, that it... Really hoping it goes the way it's supposed to, and that Marshall Walker does not become... Become a fucking senator!
	Yeah.
	So, remember, if you're listening to this in Georgia, make sure to vote in the R-U-N-N-O-F-T.
	That's an Oh Brother Where Art Thou reference, you Philistines.
	How's the house going?
	I know it wasn't looking super hot.
	Well, basically at this point, it looks like Republicans are going to have somewhere between a three and five seat majority when California is done counting.
	The chaos this is potentially going to cause is so overwhelming.
	Nobody knows shit because everyone basically hates McCarthy.
	If you listen to any knuckle dragging, fire breathing, QAnon believing maniac on the internet,
	they hate McCarthy, they don't want him to be the speaker.
	But exactly who could get the votes for the speakership is really up to debate in the
	Republican caucus.
	And it's just like, if Kitzinger, the guy who's on the 1-6 committee who didn't get
	booted out the way Liz Cheney did, if there are enough Republicans that want to like fuck
	with the Republicans and create like the independent Republican caucus, something could happen
	where something weird could go down.
	Bye.
	Basically, New York has been a Democrat supermajority for forever, but then at one point, for a period of time, A bunch of Democrats formed the Independent Democrat Caucus and Caucus for the Republicans and gave them control of the Republican Senate.
	It was just a giant mess.
	It was this huge shit show.
	And Cuomo allowed that shit to happen because he basically didn't want to govern as a fire-breathing lib.
	He just wanted to be the governor of New York for a long time, then run for president under a mantra of centrism, boringness, milquetoast, Cuomo, president.
	Yeah, smart.
	Then he became a sexual harassing sex pest and got kicked out of office, so all that shit went down the tubes.
	And, shockingly, the people of New York, who are liberal, were like, fuck the Independent Democrat Caucus, and they kicked them all out.
	All of them lost to regular Democrats, and they were removed from power.
	But something like that could happen nationally, but we'll see.
	It's gonna be really interesting if, like, say, Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert, who appears to probably, maybe, have barely won her plus-eight Republican district.
	Congratulations on that.
	Lauren Boebert, the plucky underdog, managing to overcome and stick the victory!
	But if, like, if those clowns, imagine, like, a few of these clowns just saying, hey, If every Republican in the House doesn't endorse Trump's run for president, we're just going to abstain, or we're going to vote for Pelosi, or whatever.
	Like, shit could go real bad for the Republicans here.
	Even with them winning the House, they're going to be herding cats.
	It's going to be almost impossible for them to actually do anything.
	I mean, they can't pass any bills without the Senate approving it.
	The Senate will be in Democrat hands, but It's going to be a bigger clown show than usual in the house, and I'm sure that given what we're going to be talking about in a minute, with someone jumping into the presidential field, I'm sure they're not exactly thrilled at the idea.
	They have to be super worried they're going to lose the house right back in 2024.
	They have to be not happy about what's going on right now.
	No way.
	They're fired up because the ringleader of the circus has re-emerged and it's time to make America great again.
	Again.
	Donald Trump has officially announced his intention to run for President of the United States in 2024.
	Imagine the wrestling music we can't afford of him, like, entering the ring.
	Well, based on his physique, for him, he would require a real jumbotron.
	The low-hanging fruit's the best.
	Yeah, the juiciest fruit hangs the lowest, and it is known that Donald Trump looks like Humpty Dumpty.
	He has the body of Tom Brady, according to that one doctor from the Navy who's not a doctor for the Navy anymore.
	He's a congressman!
	That guy's in Congress now, that fucking nut.
	It's great.
	It's awesome.
	The merits of American democracy, writ large.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, I'm sure he's probably also got a mansion, like a $3 million mansion where he just has sex with his boyfriend.
	Underwear model boyfriend.
	Yeah, dude, you can pull, when you've got shady quack doctor money, like quack politician doctor money, you can do a lot of weird stuff with underwear models.
	Yes!
	No, he gets into a lot of Hammer play.
	Oh, God.
	Stop.
	Oh, you.
	Yeah, why would people want to bone while dressed like MC Hammer?
	That's so weird.
	I mean, hey, he even says you can't touch this.
	It's all about abstaining.
	It's all about keeping yourself pure for Jesus.
	Maybe it's like a mutual masturbation thing.
	You can't touch this.
	Only I can touch this.
	MC Hammer pod within a pod.
	I hammer in the morning.
	You're only allowed to listen to our MC Hammer pod within a pod in the morning.
	If it's not the morning, stop listening.
	Just stop altogether.
	Delete this podcast.
	Do not listen any further.
	Yeah.
	Today we're talking about the pilot episode of the MC Hammer cartoon, where he had magic talking shoes.
	Okay, shut up!
	We're talking about Donald Trump!
	Yeah, so our boy Donald Trump declared that he's running for president again in 2024, which...
	I have posted a thread on this on Twitter, but you Joe Sixpack and Judy Punchclock are probably thinking to yourselves, well, QAnon's gotta be super pumped about this!
	He did it!
	Our boy's gonna be back at the White House any day now!
	And by any day now, I mean on January 20th, 2025 at the absolute earliest.
	But at least he's gonna own some libs before then.
	QAnon is actually furious.
	Basically, they wanted Trump to expose the election fraud in 2020.
	The election fraud in 2022.
	He did none of this.
	He's just running for president.
	And a lot of QAnon... The thing is, the rank and file are furious.
	The people that follow this shit and reply to all the grifters who are the ones making the substacks and doing all the content creation and all that kind of stuff.
	The rank and file are just like, what the fuck?
	I've got to wait two more years for the payoff?
	Like, this is ridiculous.
	This is unacceptable.
	Like, the way QAnon has always worked is just move the goalposts out another month, another two months, a couple more weeks, whatever.
	But you just lead them along with the carrot for a little while.
	When you have Donald Trump, who's the public face of the movement and the leader who's not the leader, come out and say, okay, everybody wait two more years and then we can make America great again.
	That was no bueno.
	That was aggressively no bueno.
	Well yeah, it's sort of hard to stick to your guns about how you're secretly still the President of the United States when you're running for re-election as President of the United States.
	Oh yeah, that's been another thing that's really important is that the devolution bullshit That they've been peddling for so long, a lot of people are now like, what the fuck?
	He's supposed to be the president right now, but now he's gonna run for president?
	He's admitting he's not the president!
	This is bullshit!
	I have not seen anything from Patel Patriot, the guy that popularized the devolution nonsense, and basically that stuff...
	People trying to round peg, square hole the devolution stuff.
	They're now in a world of shit because they know that there's nothing there anymore.
	They know that Trump isn't going to secretly become the president tomorrow or anything like that.
	Trying to justify why you need to keep giving them money is going to be a bit of a pickle.
	I saw one guy today who was like, drug declaring he's running for president gives the military the necessary distance so when they execute devolution in two or three months, everything's going to work out great.
	I was like, oh my god, what a champ this guy is.
	Like, Trump extends the goalposts out to two years, and you're like, oh no no no no!
	Let me reign those goalposts back in!
	Two or three months!
	Are we happy?
	Are we happy now, QAnon?
	Can you hold out two or three more months?
	Because I'm going to have to give you these bite-sized installments of goalposts extending until we get to two years.
	And, of course, the other big problem that everyone's having about this announcement was the fact that, um, Republicans have lost three straight elections under Trump.
	They lost the House in 2018.
	They lost everything in 2020.
	They did not win back the Senate, which they were supposed to in 2022.
	And so a lot of QAnon is thinking to themselves, maybe this guy can't beat the voter fraud.
	Maybe they're just gonna... Maybe he is just a career loser.
	Maybe he's just a sad sack old man.
	Maybe he gets ahead and then everything falls apart.
	Like, he uses what he has, leverages, gets in somewhere he doesn't belong, and then everything falls apart.
	Like... Yeah, it... It is...
	It's, it's really funny.
	The grifter class.
	I mean, there were some, there are some who are trying to stick to their guns and being mad, but the vast majority of them are telling their audience to suck it up buttercup.
	And I just don't know how much that's going to work.
	They're going to lose followers as a result of this.
	Like the movement will be weakened somewhat by this.
	It's not going to go away.
	It's not going to stop, but.
	There are plenty of people who are going to just throw up their hands and be like, you know what?
	I'm out.
	I'm done.
	I can't, I can't deal with this shit anymore because Trump isn't taking this seriously enough.
	He's not.
	He's not clicking his heels and becoming the president again through the magic pixie dust I've been promised he could use up to this point.
	So all of that is really causing a lot of hurt feelings in the movement, which is awesome.
	It's awesome to watch and it's thrilling to see.
	And the other thing that's really interesting is that Fox News has made it clear they're not in for this.
	Trump is not their boy.
	They cut away from his speech after a half hour.
	I don't think any major network carried the whole speech.
	After a half hour, everyone was like, okay, Donnie Two Scoops has said his piece, we're moving on here.
	And the New York Post, which is one of Murdoch's flagship tabloids in America, the New York Post ran a headline of just like street crime in New York being that the headline was like a tragedy in New York that a three-year-old child had been wounded in a shooting.
	They were an accidental victim of a straight bullet.
	At the bottom of the front page of the New York Post, It read, Florida man makes announcement.
	Page 28.
	The front page of the New York Post was, fuck you, Trump.
	I, Rupert Murdoch, am not backing your play.
	You can piss up a rope.
	So it's going to be very interesting to see Fox News putting its thumb on the scale for DeSantis and what he does.
	And again, you know, Ron, If you don't run now, I don't think you can win now, but I promise you, you cannot win in 40 years.
	You will be yesterday's news in 40 years.
	The world moves very fast.
	Also, surprisingly, we've gotten this far talking about it without mentioning that Trump's priority in running for re-election is probably to avoid all of this litigation against him.
	Like, he's just trying to delay-slash-avoid prosecution Like, by running for presidency again.
	Against the wishes of, like, a bunch of people.
	He keeps dodging his tax returns being put before Congress, but you can only delay that so long.
	Like, they keep saying, no, give them over, and then he finds some other dodge, but he's gonna run out at some point.
	Yeah.
	And I mean, New York already has his tax returns.
	Congress will get them at some point.
	And he thinks that running for president gives him special immunity.
	It doesn't.
	He can still be indicted.
	It's not a shield.
	I do think he will be indicted, uh, probably either the end of this year or in 2023.
	And then that's going to be a whole kettle of fish.
	That's going to be quite the mess.
	And trying to see him escape all of that is going to be very interesting.
	It's going to be a lot of, uh, a lot of fun dealing with indicted, uh, former president Trump.
	Um, Trying to win the nomination for the Republican Party.
	I just, I really wonder if any of these Republicans have the nerve to actually go after him.
	Because in 2016 they were all just sort of like, ah, he'll implode any day now.
	He's a sideshow.
	He's a comedy.
	I'll just be nice to him so that I don't alienate his voters.
	And then, oh shit, he won.
	Fuck, what am I gonna do now?
	I'm just gonna be Ted Cruz and just suck for the rest of my life.
	Oh, just carry water for this man that called.
	Yeah, quick, get to Bootlickin' or do the McCain route and actually stand up against him and get kicked out of your party or whatever.
	Yeah, McCain stood up to him because he was dying.
	He's like, fuck you, I'm getting the check very soon.
	I don't have to kiss your ass.
	The cold embrace of oblivion is quite liberating in this situation.
	Get bent, Donnie.
	Well, yeah, but then his daughter also carried the torch.
	Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	The McCain family was just like, hey, fuck you, Donald Trump.
	And he was just like, OK, well, goons, I demand that you punish them.
	And indeed they did.
	One of them being the Grim Reaper, which is like, wow, I didn't know that you were at Donald Trump's payroll.
	That's wild.
	I thought that was a Clinton thing.
	Yes!
	Yeah!
	Bazinga.
	Okay, we have what we're stupid fuck cloud to talk about this week before we get to our wonderful mailbag.
	That is, of course, The best boss on the planet, CEO Elon Musk.
	CEO of Twitter, Elon Musk, is back in the news, of course, because he just refuses to shut up.
	He bought Twitter for $44 billion to try to get people to stop bullying him, and the bullying has only increased.
	So, good for him.
	Mike, what's going on with Elon Musk this week?
	That's right, I put a G on the end of it.
	He's elongated Musk.
	Yes.
	So the first thing that he did was he made an announcement that he was getting rid of all the microservices that were just bloatware, that were doing nothing to help clear it all.
	At which point people started pointing out, hey, if you use two-factor identification, do not log out.
	You will lose your account for forever if you do so.
	Because one of the microservices Elon got rid of Was verification for your two-factor ID.
	So if I ever accidentally log out of my account on Twitter, it will be lost.
	I'll be locked.
	I will be fucked because I had two-factor authentication.
	Because obviously I thought some QAnon idiots would try to fucking fuck with my account.
	Oh yeah, I haven't heard of this.
	I didn't know this was happening.
	So this is genuine news to me.
	And I too use two-factor authentication.
	Yeah.
	And currently I think that I'm only logged in on my mobile device.
	So I believe that not only can I never log out of my account, I think that I can only ever be logged in on my mobile device currently.
	Yeah.
	I mean, losing my two-factor initially when I changed phones is what lost me my original Sarge Twitter account, because I just never tried to recover that.
	And now it's just like, why bother?
	Yeah, well, you were just ahead of the game because you knew that Elon Musk was going to buy Twitter and it was going to turn into a giant flaming crater.
	On top of that, right now, Elon is currently being deposed.
	And he said that his FTC consent decree that was made with Twitter is no longer valid because an agreement made under duress is not binding.
	And people are now on Twitter saying, what about your statement that everyone who wants to work for Twitter has to be extremely hardcore, or they can be shown the door with a severance package, like effective Like, Monday or some shit.
	Like, basically Elon's entire existence on Twitter is putting his staff under duress and making them make decisions if they want to work for a psychopath or not.
	So, yeah, everything's going great.
	I've seen a bunch of people talking about how there's so many different things that could fall apart on Twitter any moment now that the site is probably unstable and is almost assuredly going to be unusable within a month or so.
	Everything's going great.
	Elon's doing a bang-up job.
	There's no better way to throw $44 billion into a fireplace and just warm your hands of it.
	If you're the guy who started Mastodon, you've just got to be like...
	I'm crying with a smile on your face right now.
	Just sobbing because you're under so much stress, trying to expand way faster than you were ready for, but also with a huge boner.
	Because suddenly everybody needed another option that wasn't just already claimed by racists.
	Yeah, Macedon and Tumblr had to just be like, oh my god, thank you, I must burn it down faster.
	Yeah, of the two I'd rather give Macedon a shot, just because I'm not horny enough for Tumblr.
	Now that Bob's peeing in Vagine can be back on the Tumblr, I'm sure that I'm not horny enough for it.
	I don't have a fursona, I like Pokémon for the actual gameplay and not because I want to come in them like I'm just a regular guy, so Tumblr's not for me.
	And I get it.
	Yeah.
	I just checked Tesla's stock for the year.
	It is down over 50%.
	Nice.
	Good for him.
	Yep.
	Started the year almost $400, now $187.
	So yes, our genius man-baby of a social media mogul is doing a bang-up job everywhere.
	All of his businesses working as intended.
	When I think of the people that are harmed by the collapse of a crypto exchange or by Tesla losing half of its value, it really makes me smile.
	It's just like it's so hard to feel bad for the people that are actually impacted by that.
	Like, you know, I guess out there there's probably some innocent guy who just like really believed in crypto.
	He's just a regular dude.
	He's not particularly toxic or anything.
	He's just got like family invested heavily in crypto.
	Now he's now he's destitute.
	And I feel for that particular segment, but All the crypto bros on the internet that talk about crypto, I'm happy that they're losing everything.
	If you were big into your Tesla stock because you thought Elon Musk was great, then guess what?
	I'm very happy that your money is worth half as much now.
	Yes.
	Yeah.
	All of it.
	I mean, the Elon cult is one of the weirdest cults.
	This guy is just a dude.
	I mean, if you read basically of why Tesla is so rich, It was mostly just government credits that other car companies bought from him so they could continue to make gas-based cars, and now the entire industry is going hybrid or electric.
	So it's not like Tesla can corner the market on that shit.
	I mean, Tesla can corner the market on cars that will turn on their autopilot and start
	murdering people.
	But most of the other car makers don't want to be part of that segment.
	They're like, yeah, our cars being associated with murder or spontaneously bursting into
	flames.
	Yeah, Elon can have that.
	That section he can corner.
	He can corner that part of the market, no harm, no foul.
	The people that jump in to leap to his defense, they're never just like, yeah, maybe he's taking a bunch of L's now, and he's kind of a crazy person, but every once in a while he has a good idea, so I'm just gonna try to stick by him.
	They're always just like, What else?
	He doesn't take any L's.
	He's crushing it.
	He's doing great.
	Everything about him is... You just can't see the genius in his strategy.
	It's the same thing as QAnon.
	It's exactly the same mindset.
	They're just like, no, he's incredible.
	You just don't know.
	Your brain is too feeble.
	It's the fighting chess thing.
	Right.
	Oh, God.
	If only you could understand the brilliance of the plan.
	And it's like, no, there is no plan.
	No, I feel like I got it.
	I feel like I got the plan.
	Yeah, I figured it out.
	Yeah, I feel like Elon Musk wanted... He was just like, hey, I'm gonna fight this fight for free speech because I'm a goober.
	And then, once he caught the car, the dog that he is, he was just like, well, now what the fuck do I do with it?
	And he settled on just trying to make himself look hard by being a troll on the platform that he bought.
	But that instead just makes him look like this weak little baby man, because he, like, bought... He's essentially... He's like Montana Max from Tiny Toons.
	He just, like, bought the playground.
	Yosemite Sam.
	No, he's just there kicking people off of it.
	No, the Buddy Max, right?
	That was that kid's name?
	Oh, from Tiny Toons.
	Yes.
	Yeah.
	He's just like some rich goober baby who bought the playground and now he's just like, now I own the playground and I get to decide how people play on it.
	It's just like, okay, well, you just look mad weak and lame, dude.
	Nobody gives a shit.
	Also, nobody's in love enough with Twitter that they won't just go...
	Wherever else is, like, popular.
	You know, most people that have Twitter accounts already have Instagram accounts, and they'll happily just move their Twitter account to the next most popular place.
	It doesn't matter.
	Elon, for the millionth time, we're not locked in here with you.
	You're locked in here with us.
	Yeah.
	And we can leave whenever we want.
	So yeah.
	And also for the last time, but not really, your penis is deformed.
	And if you want me to stop talking about how deformed your penis is, you have to pay me one million United States dollars.
	Yes.
	Did we ever get an actual report on the true nature of his deformed mushroom penis?
	No, but if Grimes is listening, first of all, fuck you.
	Why would you spend time with Elon Musk?
	But because you have, and you've received him several times, call into the show one of these days and describe it for us.
	I'd love to know what he's working with.
	Enough to make your baby star scream.
	Oh man, I wish their names were in their children were as cool as Starscream, at least then you could pronounce it.
	It's all like, you know, they sound like fucking pledge houses on campuses.
	It's like, this is my baby, Phi Theta Alpha Data!
	Yeah, it's just like, wow, this is what happens when two try-hards find each other in the world.
	Now we're gonna try extra hard by ruining our baby preemptively.
	This is what happens when two people get enough money that no one is just like, no, stop it, and slaps their hand away.
	Just like, no!
	Can you imagine being the type of person who is charred by Elon Musk when you meet them in person?
	Because in theory, that's what happened to Grimes, right?
	She, like, met Elon Musk in person when she was, like, 22 or whatever, and he was, like, 40.
	I have no idea what their actual ages are, so who cares?
	But she was just like, my god, like, you are enchanting.
	I would love to do a relationship and have children with you.
	And it's just like, what?
	It's like, what is going on?
	How is that possible?
	Did he just show up and he's just like, wow, that's a very unique outfit you're wearing.
	He's like, thanks.
	It's a plexiglass cube filled with $1 billion.
	Elon has also today stated that at some point in the near future, he will hand off the reins
	of Twitter to somebody else and make them the CEO of Twitter.
	Which, yeah, that sounds like a real fucking great job, where Elon's your boss.
	And you're the one who gets blamed for Twitter going into the fucking fireplace.
	I mean, oh my god.
	I'm gonna come into your room and we're gonna smash all of your toys and then I'm gonna elect you, like, I'm gonna elevate you to the position of head of toys.
	There you go.
	Enjoy the thing I've given you to oversee.
	It's all fucked.
	It's just that scene at the end of that early Rick and Morty episode where Rick's just walking out of the business he made and lights it on fire.
	I'm bored now, and it's just like, you're in charge.
	Like, it's just that.
	He's just pouring gas and walking out the door, and it's like, uh, you.
	You're in charge.
	Uh, no thanks?
	Hard pass.
	I hope he just somehow manages to burn through his entire fortune with petty shit like this.
	And then eventually, when we're talking about him, it's like, man, remember when Elon Musk was the world's richest man?
	Now he's only worth $20 million or whatever, so he's still rich, but now he's not fucking buy-a-Twitter rich, and we'll just yell at him and make fun of him and still demand a million dollars from him.
	I want one twentieth of your net worth, just so I'm talking about your Malforn Bean.
	I just want him to be poor enough that I can throw literal rotten tomatoes at him and not be buried in a jail for forever.
	Oh, dare to dream, Sarge.
	Dare to dream.
	Did you hear about that guy that threw the beer at Ted Cruz?
	His legal defense was, I thought he'd catch it and chug it.
	So he's going with the, I thought he could hang defense.
	That's awesome.
	I believe him.
	But also, we know Ted Cruz is paying.
	They're trying to trick Ted Cruz's attorney into disputing.
	Like, Your Honor, it's obvious that my client is a weak and ineffectual man that could never chug a beer.
	He could never pay.
	My client does not have the manual dexterity to catch a cup of beer and then consume it.
	Impossible.
	No reasonable person could think that.
	This act had to be malicious.
	I would like to introduce evidence to Pupils No.
	36.
	It's a printout of every Twitter mention of the phrase Cancun Cruz.
	He ran away from the weather.
	I object.
	I don't want you to do that.
	Don't do that.
	Mr. Cruz, you're not allowed to object.
	You're not a lawyer.
	Yeah.
	Okay, well, we've talked about stupid, dumbfuck, rich, white idiots for long enough.
	Let's get to our wonderful mailbag.
	Our listeners got questions, we got answers.
	It's time for Q and A. First off is Cleodora Silvestri, the Hellworld's Grand Inquisitor, who says, with the upcoming Trump vs. the Santa's Rumble about to rock the very foundations of the GOP, give us your best wrestling title fight championship promotion.
	My question on that is basically, do you want this to be like a video package where we have both Trump and DeSantis basically yelling and screaming?
	Is it just like an in-ring promo where Trump and DeSantis are working the mic yelling at each other?
	I just want to know what kind of promotion we're doing to build this heavyweight tilt And I do mean that literally because they're both fat.
	Boom.
	Take that both of you.
	You're, you're chubby men running for president and that means the American public can talk about your weight and insult you for it.
	Um, but I mean, the thing is, is that Trump is the guy who literally just cuts WWE promos.
	I mean, he is just the, In a Republican's eyes, he's like the cruel heel, the bad guy that speaks the truth and talks truth to power.
	When to the rest of America, he's just the villainous shit-weasel heel who's a scumbag that everyone hates.
	Whereas DeSantis is a pale imitation of him.
	One of the funniest things about DeSantis, and people, these videos are everywhere, He copies all of Trump's mannerisms, all of his hand gestures, all of his pointing, everything he does.
	DeSantis has turned himself into a mini-me of Trump, which is a really bad idea when you have to run against Trump in order to become president.
	I mean, DeSantis' whole mindset up to this point was just sort of, well, hopefully Trump will get convicted of a crime or die, otherwise I'm fucked.
	And now the Republican Party's like, no, no, Ron, you can do it.
	You can beat the big dog.
	You can defeat him.
	And it's, and Ron's like, can I really?
	Do you really think I can?
	And they're like, yeah.
	And then they're like, no, he actually can't.
	We've, we're seeing where this is going.
	Ron, Ron's a big fucking coward.
	So, I mean, Ron really wants to be president, but he doesn't want to put in the work or make, to take the risks necessary to become president.
	So, I mean, I just don't see it for him, but, uh, I would say that once Ron declares, then we'll have like a better, like you can do like the slice and dice of like the two campaign introductions or Trump talking about murdering drug dealers and DeSantis talking about fucking up his victory speech on the midterms.
	He's like, Florida is where woke goes to die, which I mean, that just carried in Pennsylvania.
	I mean, all the swing states were like, yeah, we hate woke.
	That's a thing I care about when I wake up in the morning.
	Jesus Christ.
	These people care about such childish fucking shit.
	It's so bizarre.
	It's just this alternate reality that these people live in.
	My pitch for the promo for the match?
	This December, dismembered to remember an America's member.
	It's time for some Florida man-on-man.
	DeSantis.
	Trump.
	Bully Mar-a-Lar-going where no man has gone before.
	Boom.
	Nailed it.
	So they're going to fight on Mar-a-Lago, and then they're going to dig up Ivanka and she won't be in the coffin.
	And then the winner will throw the loser in Ivanka's empty coffin and will probably show up again like a month later.
	I don't remember how long that took.
	Well, the thing is, is that you open Ivanka's coffin and then there are more documents.
	Yeah, there's more documents in there.
	And then, that's the thing, it's like, DeSantis, Trump's bleeding, he's beaten up, he's laying next to where her coffin is, and DeSantis is like, that's it, Trump!
	Now I'm gonna throw you in here and I'm gonna put you in the ground!
	And he opens the coffin and suddenly it's just full of documents, and he's like, what the fuck?!
	And then DeSantis and all his goons try to get all the documents out of the coffin, and then Trump rallies and hits him with a shovel, dumps him in the coffin, and dumps him in the ground, and he wins the match, and MAGA all cheer and celebrate, and they play Kurt Angle's music.
	Although, the crowd doesn't understand that when you chant, you suck, it's endearing, and all that stuff.
	So, I can see that.
	I can see this all working out.
	You can definitely script the DeSantis-Trump wrasslin' match, because they're clowns.
	And this is such a bad... DeSantis is one of the... I propose a tag team match of Trump and DeSantis versus Doink and Dank.
	Yes!
	That is the level of respect they deserve, to fight mid-card clowns in a wrestling ring.
	That's exactly right.
	Okay, well I feel like that gave us our quota of obscure wrestling reference for the week.
	Yes.
	You would think, listening to this show, that I'm a huge wrestling fan, when I just don't give a fuck about wrestling.
	It's really funny.
	Snorlaxcpap says, having my partner's family over for Thanksgiving, trying to cook something so offensive to norms, oddball, they won't want to come back next year.
	Any suggestions?
	Crickets.
	Yeah, bugs.
	Bugs will definitely work.
	Yeah, I mean, the problem is that, like, you're looking for something oddball that they're also going to hate.
	So, in terms of, like, I don't really have, like, a deep well of recipes for food that I think, like, totally suck balls and that everyone universally agrees sucks.
	It'd be a really thing to have, like, a mental nutter to just be like, ah, yes, this dish is universally terrible.
	I mean, I guess I could just lead into the caucasity of it and just tell you to offend them with a food that is otherwise delicious, like Indian food.
	Serve them like a vindaloo or whatever, if they've got the caucasity where that will ward them off like a vampire to garlic.
	Because, you know, vindaloo is notoriously kind of spicy.
	Especially if you'll find a place that will make it authentically spicy.
	Or homely and spicy, as people have referred to it around me, even though it still sounds kind of racist in my mouth.
	I'm told that it's not.
	So, I hope that's true.
	It's one of those soft, racist things where as long as you don't use it in a racist way, I think that one's okay.
	Like the word Jew.
	Context matters.
	Yeah, it's an incredibly special word where context is singularly important to it.
	It's a real spicy word.
	Which is why, for the most part, I've just defaulted to saying people of Jewish faith.
	Which is, like, really cumbersome at the mouth, but definitely would be really hard to confuse as being anything other than, like, really intentionally trying to be cool.
	Like, I'm just like, I don't want there to be any miscommunication here.
	Right, exactly.
	I don't want an out-of-context soundbite about the thing that I'm about to say.
	So up next is Frosty who asks, hopping once again to the other side to ask you guys about Marvel Snap, what decks are you running?
	I am in a weird spot where I'm like halfway through Pool 3.
	I am currently trying out a French Marvel Snap YouTuber has put out this movement deck, so I've been playing that, and it has Dagger and Heimdall obviously, but also
	Spider-Man Miles Morales.
	So I've been trying out movement and I was playing a anti-meta deck but from what I've been reading the meta has been super shaken up so that deck like quickly was seeing results and then sucked real hard but yeah movement and every now and again kazoo but with Patriot Yeah, I, right now, I've just started Pool 3, so I'm basically running my Pool 2 deck and just not touching Pool 3 cards until I get enough.
	My deck is called the Odin Sleep, and it's just all about the Guardians of the Galaxy, guessing where people are going to play their cards, then smashing them.
	And then on turn six, dropping Odin to either re-trigger Jubilee, Spider Woman, or any of the Guardians, especially Gamora.
	Double-prox Gamora is GG, so that's pretty much what I've been running for the past, like, three days.
	Oh, I'm... Sorry, go ahead.
	Oh, uh, yours is going to be more crowd-pleasing to people playing Pokemon, er, Pokemon Snap, playing Marvel Snap than mine, because I got bored with the game and stopped playing it pretty much immediately, because I don't like the way that you unlock the cards, like, set by set, so you have to play several matches with, like, the same deck, essentially.
	Yeah.
	Oh, yeah.
	I mean, that's the thing.
	It's like, you can make, like, a bunch of Pool 1 decks and a bunch of Pool 2 decks.
	Settling on a deck is very tough for me, because I just get metagamed so hard, almost all my decks start scrubbing.
	The way they do their card releasing, it just seems like the meta is going to be solved immediately, because it seems like there's a pretty big player base.
	All the cards in the sequence in which you unlock them is known.
	So, like, it doesn't seem like it's going to take very long for people to just be like, okay, here's the best deck or two from each set, and if you're playing anything else, like, what do you want about it?
	Oh, I can see that.
	I can absolutely see that.
	I'm two cards off the, like, one of the...
	High in the meta decks, the discard deck.
	But I do not have Moon Knight, and I do not have Dracula.
	But I have all the other cards in the current discard deck.
	So I'm running a less than optimal build of it.
	But everybody assures me Ghost Rider is good, but by God, my discard cards are laser focused on discarding my Ghost Rider.
	So that deck has been less than fun.
	Yeah.
	Well, they're coming out with the tokens to let you buy specific cards you need soon, and that will be much appreciated.
	Yeah, they say before the end of the year they're gonna do that, and they'll backfill if you were supposed to earn tokens, they'll give you those.
	I did unlock, they added titles, and I love unlocking a title instead of a card, but I did unlock the title Ballin' Out of Control, so I don't care what other titles I unlock, it's locked on that for For forever.
	If you're playing Marvel Snap and you see someone falling out of control, it might be me.
	Does that give you the avatar of Venom aggressively dunking on Spider-Man?
	Because it absolutely should!
	No!
	I mean, they should come with avatars, like the framed avatars.
	Currently I have, I am not excited about these, but I have the titles of Professor X's Best Friend, which, that one's weird and creepy, and Really Really Hot, They're like, we added titles!
	And it's like, go fuck yourself.
	Just give me Mystique.
	I just want competitive cards.
	I don't want dumb titles.
	Yep.
	I know.
	No shit.
	So there you go.
	Movement and bad discard.
	Yes.
	And for me, just playing Odin.
	Odin's the best.
	Eric Hayden asks, what is the spin regarding Lake Sloth in Arizona?
	Stolen, rigged, just exactly what you would expect.
	They're not very creative, these people.
	What is funny is that so many people are invested in her, like True The Vote, Greg Phillips, Steve Bannon, all these people who are the people that are actually on social media, actually in the theater of grifting in public.
	And they're all just pissing and moaning.
	They're all just like, oh, this was stolen.
	It was obvious.
	It was rigged, blah, blah, blah.
	And it's like, I thought you guys made a movie and you caught the mules and you were going to save the world.
	Like, what happened?
	How did we still lose if we had Greg Phillips and his giant beard on our side?
	How could we possibly have failed?
	I don't understand it.
	How could this world be so cruel?
	And, uh, yeah.
	So, It's exactly what you would have thought it was, and it's just reruns.
	It's just the same shit that Trump said.
	They're never going to lose an election fair in their lives.
	Every election they lose is rigged.
	Yeah, it's been going that way for quite a while now.
	Okay, crush that one.
	I mean, I don't really have a lot of input on this particular topic.
	Yeah.
	Oh, and so basically we have a few questions like people asking about Trump to Santas and that stuff.
	If you're asking us questions that are going to probably get answered in the show, they're probably going to get answered in the show.
	So it'd be better to just ask us, ask a deep cut cue stuff for me or ask irreverent stuff outside of that sphere so that all three of us can jump in.
	Yeah, it does feel a little bad when we have a bunch of questions that don't really get asked because we've already just covered it as part of our general headline topics.
	And we don't want people to feel left out.
	But we also don't want to take the blame for that ourselves, so we are blaming you, so do better.
	Lee Trimbuffalo says, will this be your final quotes episode of the pod?
	The reason why he asked this was because someone posted a thing about how the 2022 election fraud was the final brackets question mark trap for the deep state to fall into.
	Where they were like super confident that like this was it.
	This was the last trap we needed to catch them in before we could defeat them.
	But then they were like, wait a minute, wait a minute.
	Maybe it won't be the final one.
	Maybe we're going to need more traps.
	So I better leave myself an out.
	So they put a question inside of parentheses in order to be like, okay, I didn't mean that it was the final, final trap.
	It was just the sort of final trap.
	So the podcast will endure for forever, for six seasons and a movie or whatever they say.
	So, but yeah, I just, It just goes to show you the goalposts moving.
	It just goes to show you the hope-despair cycle of QAnon.
	We're like, we got them now!
	This is it!
	Now they can't get away.
	And then a month later, it's like, oh, well, they got away, but we can't quit now because they're the bad guys and we're the good guys.
	Good guys never quit.
	And then a month later, they're like, ah, now we got them.
	And then a month later, oh, no, we didn't.
	It's just that You're just a hamster on a wheel.
	That's all you are when you're following QAnon.
	You're just doing that same shit over and over and over again with no payoff ever.
	It sucks.
	I highly recommend you leave the fucking movement.
	It'll just ruin your life and take your wallet.
	So yeah, fuck that shit.
	So after that unbelievably happy thought, what are you guys looking forward to this week?
	As our last question always is.
	Pokemon!
	New Pokemon comes out on Friday.
	Doesn't matter how many times they set me on the same dumb treadmill.
	Me and Elle talk about this all the time.
	We still get on it and gladly take the walk.
	So I am, you know what?
	I will admit, I am looking forward to, you know, once more into the breach.
	Being the very best like no one ever was.
	Yeah.
	Damn right.
	I, too, will be playing Pokemon.
	So for once, Sarge and I will be simpatico on this one.
	I am excited to try a new Pokemon, if only because I haven't played a new video game in a while.
	Yeah, I have to get on God of War.
	I just was stuck working this week and I haven't actually sunk my teeth into a dad of boy yet.
	So I got to I gotta quit sucking and earn my nerd cred by actually playing a popular video game.
	That's something that's important.
	And also, catching up on Taskmaster, because I think I got like three or four episodes into the new season, and I'm sure there are more episodes out there for me to enjoy.
	Because Taskmaster is the bee's knees and the cat's pajamas.
	I've caught up on the new season, and it has been most gromulent.
	It's very good.
	So I highly recommend, look at me, agreeing with both of my co-hosts for this week.
	What a positive note to head out on.
	So it's time for us to get shot with that little device that turns us into the 2D little thing that floats off into space, into the Phantom Zone, but out of Hellworld.
	That's how we're traveling this week.
	So, thank you everybody for listening and supporting the show.
	You can continue to support the show for free by giving us a five-star review wherever you're getting your podcasts from.
	It helps out by telling the algorithm that you think that we're a bunch of sexy and attractive lads.
	If you have money and you'd like to support the show with it, you can do so by visiting our Patreon at patreon.com slash PokerPolitics.
	If you have money and you don't want to give it to us, we understand!
	You can do some good with us by donating it to love146.org.
	a bunch of series where we dissect QAnon media like Kabbalah and what we do at our Shadows and
	Mules errands. So five or more dollars a month you get access to all that stuff and all of our future
	bonus content as well. If you have money and you don't want to give it to us, we understand!
	You can do some good with us by donating it to love146.org.
	They are an organization whose vision is the end of child trafficking and exploitation.
	And of course you can take it amongst yourself to just do good with your money at your
	own speed.
	We believe in you, because you are also very sexy and possibly the world's smartest person.
	We're very proud of you.
	Congratulations.
	Thanks, as always, to DJ AbitableEffort for use of our theme song.
	Still no Soch for DJ AbitableEffort.
	For the time being, you can find everybody else associated with the podcast on Twitter, including our friend Frosty, who provides all of our voiceover work.
	You can find him over on Twitter, at FrostyVO.
	You can find the show on Twitter, at Hellworld, with a Q instead of an O. Myself, at HellworldL.
	Hellworld's spelled the same way.
	You can find Sarge, at SargenHell.
	And Mr. Mike Raines is, of course, at PokerPolitics.
	So for another special episode of the Avengers at Hellworld podcast, I have one of your hosts, Mysterious Al, joined by my friend Sarge and our expert at all things QAnon crazy Mr. Mike Rains.

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