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Nov. 3, 2022 - Adventures in HellwQrld
01:29:31
Adventures in HellwQrld Episode #111: Elon's bad week, Pelosi Conspiracy Theories

This week we got Mike, Sarge, and L dealing with Elon Musk's mishandling of Twitter. The conspiracy theories trying to play down the attempted assassination of Nancy Pelosi, and we get to talk about the True The Vote grifters getting themselves stuck in jail. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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♪♪♪ Content Warning.
The Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in depth about QAnon, which means we have to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people.
Listener discretion advised.
Hello, everybody.
I am Mike Rains, a.k.a.
Poker and Politics, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld.
I am joined, as always, by Sarge.
Hello.
I live.
It lives.
This is our Halloween episode, technically.
And the mysterious Elle.
Hello, my beautiful babies!
This is Elm, coming to you live over the 405 in this traffic-jacked-up, all-the-way-out-of-the-bridge-zone, or whatever.
Turned into a little Rick and Morty there at the end.
Uh, yeah, I mean, who doesn't love Rick and Morty?
Rick and Morty, that, like, Justin Roiland's humor is the future of humor.
I definitely have not watched the last, I think, three seasons.
So, I mean, I think Rick and Morty itself is still fine, but every time Justin Roiland puts out anything else now, he's just doing his, like, same, like, assortment of five voices.
It's like, dude, like, Rick and Morty is too popular for you to be ripping it off yourself.
Like, you have to develop a new voice.
I'm sorry, mate, but you just, you gotta do it.
At least the Family Guy guy, Seth MacFarlane, he has a big catalog of voices.
Yeah, and he can also, like, sing and stuff.
He's got a bunch of different, like, talents that allow him to continue to produce content that is, like, different.
And don't get me wrong, he's certainly guilty of producing content that is not different.
He made Family Guy, then he made, like, two or three other Family Guys.
But, you know, like, he seems to have a wider breadth than just a Roiland does in terms of, like, his talent pool, his internal talent pool.
Yeah, I saw that video game that was like, literally the hook is, it's Morty as a gun!
And I was like, this is so fucking weird that this guy is just playing Morty in a video game.
That's like, bizarre to me.
That's the hook for this thing.
When he's that busy playing Rick and Morty for Solar Opposites on Hulu, and when he wasn't that busy playing Rick and Morty for that VR game.
Justin Roiland, this is a poker pot, and he is all in.
Just all in.
These three voices, all in.
I don't need to do anything else for the rest of my life.
He doesn't have shit to prove to anybody.
He's part of Rick and Morty, and Rick and Morty is a bona fide phenomenon that turned a bunch of people between the ages of 15 and 22 into actual crazy people.
It redpilled a bunch of soft-brained children in not a great way.
I will put Rick and Morty fandom on, like, my redpill pipeline.
Yeah, well I mean, yes, it ticks all the boxes.
I got a face for Mike there.
It ticks all the boxes.
I mean, it's certainly like a part of the, you miss the point if you like the main character starter pack, you know what I mean?
Where it's just like, right up there, where it's just like, all the people who are just like, I love Clockwork Orange, that guy's cool.
It's just like, that guy's not cool.
The point of that movie is that that guy's not cool, man.
Yeah, no one's cool in that movie.
It's like Catcher in the Rye.
Do you like Holden Caulfield?
You're getting it wrong.
all these people who love the Joker.
Yeah, the Joker's so cool.
It's just like, dude, in the real life, the Joker would be like awful.
Like you don't want people like that in real life, man.
Like that's, you need to shut up.
Don't pattern yourself after big serial killers.
I had a very small amount of trick-or-treaters in my neighborhood, but one of the costumes that was good
was someone had a very well-made Joker from the Joker movie costume
and the face paint was solid.
And I was like, good job, nine-year-old child, or their parents, who are way too into the Joker.
Either way, but still, bang up job.
And the other person was a girl in the Ringmaster, like the head of the circus, like that red jacket and the top hat.
I was like, I didn't expect Ringmaster to be a costume, but man, you put work into that.
That is a very good Are they?
Do you think maybe they were referencing Fall Out Boy?
Like, the ringmaster from Fall Out Boy?
I have no earthly idea, because I am totally out of touch with culture, so when you brought up... Were they book some in a corset?
Sometimes just an opportunity to wear a corset is all someone needs to put...
I saw a lot of great corsets where I was in Trick or Treat land, and every time I was just like, that corset's cool, it's really making that person look very attractive, I need to look away from them immediately.
I'm always just like, it feels like a vortex, and if I look at it for more than half a second, I feel like I'm going to be a creep, and they're going to be like, hey, you're a creep.
And I'm like, no, I'm not trying, I'm sorry, I'm just standing here handing out candy to children.
Oh, that was me in Vegas, except most of the time I didn't look away.
I was just like, what is that?
What is that?
I was the quintessential Midwest tourist when I was in Vegas, because we walked out on the strip, and as soon as it got dark, the trucks with the advertisements on the side says, girls, right to your room.
And I was just like, holy shit.
I'm like, oh, it's not like.
Yeah, it's not like I haven't been to and lived in big cities, but Vegas is the first place I've ever been where TV and movies did not lie.
How intense were the slappers in your area?
Um, we came across a couple, but the night we got out was the Saturday where the festival had been cancelled because of the high winds and there was so much just grit and like shit in the air still just blowing around that the slappers were not super aggressive.
But they were out.
We ran into a couple.
Also, guys, we do this podcast for more than just us, so I'm assuming there are a ton of people who are just like, what the fuck is a slapper?
What are you guys talking about?
Okay, so what a slapper is, is people who have little, like, basically like a business card, but it's a picture of a mostly naked woman and an advertisement for a strip club, and there is this aggressively anti-First Amendment law that if you're handing out these little business cards, you can't talk.
It's totally illegal.
If anyone ever challenged it, it would get struck down.
But basically, those people have made an agreement with the city of Las Vegas not to stir up too much trouble.
So in order to generate noise, they're slapping the cards together, or they're slapping it on the little fences on the land bridges where they're hanging out.
They're just a magical part of Las Vegas.
And once you see them, you know exactly what they are.
And you're like, oh, those are the slappers!
So yeah, that's the...
That's the fun and frivolity of dealing with the gentlemen's club industry in Vegas.
You're just like walking by a guy on the street, he just like,
does like a motion towards you and then you just hear like, you're just like, what the fuck is going on?
It's just like, oh, he's just flicking these cards very quickly.
Yeah, exactly.
Uh, yeah, I noticed they were not talking.
I didn't know the law, but I noticed, I was like, they're not really saying anything.
But yeah, they just kept, like, literally, like you were saying, stopping.
It was very, it's such an interesting town.
Yeah, apparently when I was living out there, like, the law had just been passed, like, I would say in the last couple years or so.
And people just said that it was like super awful before the law, because they were just like, every vile sexual thing they could possibly say, they would just be yelling it at you.
And you'd just be like, you'd be like, Jesus Christ, dude, calm down.
I'm not going to take your strip club card.
I don't care.
But like, that was how they were advertising previously.
And then they were like, what illegal way can we make them stop saying horrible things to people that are passing by them?
Because this makes our tourists sad.
So that was... You want to cite any examples?
Oh, not particularly.
The riff off of Sarge trying to make El racist.
El now trying to make me misogynistic.
So yes.
Yeah, I was trying to make him racist.
I was trying to trick him into recording himself.
I'm glad that I could see your face as, like, you processed my question and were just like, no, why would I?
And then you saw what I was doing.
It's like watching a kid, like, open a Christmas gift.
It's time for a light sampling of insanity!
puzzled to just be like oh I'm entertained now. Yeah.
Anyway speaking of entertaining allegedly we're supposed to be entertaining
our audience with tales from the world of QAnon. Yeah yeah. It's time for a light
sampling of insanity. Get ready for the amuse-bouche.
What's our first item here?
Our first item, as far as I know, is TTV is in jail, which is awesome and exciting if you hate those people, which... Yeah, that's great.
Now, of course, I know who that is, Sarge knows who that is, and you know who that is, but for the audience who might not know who you're talking about, what's a TTV?
A TTV is true the vote.
Which is, we're the protagonists, along with Dinesh D'Souza, in the 2000 Mules mockumentary.
Wait a minute, do these clowns have enough heat that we're shorting it to TTV?
I don't want to give them that power.
We refer to them under their full Christian name only.
True the vote.
To shorten their name is to give them power.
Okay, motion carries.
So, true the vote.
Basically, hey, we had one vote from Elle, we had one vote from me, your vote was meaningless.
It was going to either pass 2-1... Oh, abstain!
You're going to go 2-0, you sack of... Have an axe to grind.
Have a position, damn you Sarge.
Anyways, so there was this giant kerfuffle between Kinect, the company that Truth of Vote claims stole the election via China, and Kinect, who was like, no, Truth of Vote is slandering us.
And The CEO of Kinect got arrested and basically the crime that he committed or the crime that is alleged is that basically he told the city of Los Angeles, I will not use Chinese servers or anything for any of the data that we're storing for your city.
And then one thing led to another, and outsourcing was done, and lo and behold, there were Chinese servers involved, and that broke the contract.
And now he's under indictment for, uh, the legal reason was like embezzlement and something else, because he basically stole.
They're saying he stole the money from the county, and by misclaiming what he was going to do.
And QAnon and everybody were like, we did it!
This proves the election was stolen!
And it's like, no!
Connect doesn't do anything with voting.
They don't deal with votes.
This is literally the scheduling for poll workers.
This is so you know Emily will have the morning shift and Bob is gonna do the night shift at the polling station.
This doesn't have shit to do with actually tampering with votes.
But they got their win because the CEO of Connect got arrested.
But while this was all going on, Kinect was sued through the vote for defamination and basically being shitheels.
Part of their lawsuit was they had claimed that True The Vote hacked them and stole proprietary information from their servers.
And True The Vote has had various stories about how they got this information, if it was hacked, or if it was just laying there all innocently, and all we had to do was put a thumb drive in there and boom, we got it, or whatever.
So there's been this back and forth about what's going on, and finally True the Vote was brought into court.
And part of what the court wanted was they wanted to know who True the Vote was working with to get this information.
And through various testimony that Greg and Catherine have given, they've made it clear that there was like a team of people that were working with them that got this information.
And the judge was like, well, who were they?
Because Kinect has a right to confront these people about what they did, how they got the information and stuff like that.
And truth of the most, we can't disclose our sources.
We will not disclose our sources as to how we got this information.
And the judge was like, well, today's Friday, so you're going to be back here on Monday.
And if you don't give us your sources, you are in contempt of court and will go to jail.
And Monday came, and the judge was like, so you're going to give up your sources?
And Truth About was like, no.
So right now, Catherine and Greg are in jail, due to contempt of court.
And on social media, they are, of course, fundraising and claiming themselves to be political prisoners and all that fun stuff.
But no, like, You did something that was either illegal or at the very least so sketchy you don't want to name the people you did it with.
So yeah, this is your problem, Truth or Vote.
You did this to yourself.
That's why you're in jail.
So, period.
Yeah, and no snitching is powerful.
It's got like a powerful energy to it.
But the price for not snitching is that you were the one being punished.
Like, no snitching also comes with like, you know, unless someone's just out canvassing the street looking for info.
Like once someone has pinched you for something and they're just like, hey, roll over.
And you're like, no, I ain't no snitch.
It's like, oh, that's cool and heroic.
But that means you're the one doing the time.
Yeah.
I mean, also, there's a chance that they don't have sources to reveal, so... No, no, no.
They're heroically not sniffing.
Yeah!
I thought this amuse-bouche item had to do with the leader of the Proud Boys being in jail and totally flipping on the rest of the Proud Boys.
Oh no, we can hit on that a little if you want to.
But yeah, this is the continuing saga of our heroes who built themselves a right-wing grift empire.
Based off 2000 Mules and then immediately was just sort of like, oh yeah, by the way, we disavowed that movie entirely.
It's now all about Connect.
And then immediately snap cuts to them being like, yeah, what we did with them is so...
Top secret and highly classified and all this other stuff that we can't give sources.
They did release text messages of Catherine talking to FBI agents and saying that she's very untrusting of what's going on with the government sources and their interactions with them.
And at one point in these text messages, she says, I believe I have been poisoned.
And then she did a toxicology screen and she was in fact not poisoned.
I see.
Maybe just ate something that upset her stomach.
Perhaps.
No, no, no.
It meant mind poisoned from the liberals.
She had to listen to somebody talking about trans rights and she was like, no, I can only
conceive of two genders.
Yeah, I mean, you know, you love to see these mule related idiots getting some sort of cut
off.
So speaking of the mules, Mike, how goes the Arizona ballot botch watch?
Anybody catch any mules?
You got any mules captured red handed, dump a ballot?
Unfortunately for Team Mule Catcher, they have yet to do that.
They have yet to have obtained any mules.
And probably scaring them all off.
Probably too intimidating.
With the guns, yeah.
They're deterrent.
They're just like, hey, we're here as a deterrent.
Mule deterrent.
Which is awesome because of the fact that in Arizona, you can literally go to any mailbox and drop off your ballot.
You do not have to go to, like, the marked ballot drop boxes.
So, like, the whole idea of, like, We're watching the drop boxes.
Now the mules can't tamper with our elections.
And lo and behold, it's like, oh yeah, you can actually just go to any mailbox.
Literally, there's no way to stop mules from committing the mulination.
We did hit the power ball so we could just fund... I want like an Eric Andre style bit where we just like go out there and dress in human mule costumes and just show up to the ballot box with a giant sack of fake letters.
Just show up dressed as Santa Claus.
Yeah, just a giant bang.
It'd just be like, uh, excuse me, I'm looking for the ballot box?
Oh, there it is, I see it.
Okay, thank you.
Have a nice night, guys.
It'd have like a rip in it so as you're walking around it's just trailing these letters.
They're just covered in random Chinese characters as they spill out.
Chinese characters.
You're giving them too much credit.
We would have to cover it in, like, hoisin sauce or something because that's what these stupid fucking racists were looking for when they were testing the ballots previously.
Bamboo!
Chinese influence.
They were just like, we have to make sure that there's no Chinese influence in these ballots.
What do they got in China?
Bamboo.
That's the ticket.
That was so ridiculous.
Oh, so these ballot-watching lunatics, they got hauled into court, and there have been basically negotiations through the legal system about this.
And finally...
A ruling came down that stated the defendant, which is a woman who's been, her name is Melody and she runs this group and she's been on Steve Bannon's podcast and is like doing all the grifty stuff and of course has ties to Drew the Vote and all the rest of it and is pilled.
She's all of these things.
She was ordered by the court to quote, defendant shall within 24 hours of the date of this order post the following in a conspicuous place on Clean Elections USA's website and on the Truth Social page at Trump or Mel and leave it posted throughout the close of voting until Election Day 2022 which is it is not always illegal to deposit multiple
ballots in a ballot drop box.
It is legal to deposit the ballot of a family member, household member,
or person for whom you are the caregiver. Here are the rules for ballot drop boxes by which I
ask you to abide. The preceding statement shall be followed by a copy of the entire statutory text of
Arizona Reside statutes." So basically she has to go on her social media platforms and be like,
if you see them, and tell the literal truth of Arizona's ballot, ballot drop off laws,
And she has to have that remain up on her social media until after the election is over.
So that is a good job, Judge.
Excellent ruling, my boy.
So, yeah.
Top tier judgery.
You'll love to see it.
So, our next Amuse Bouche item, I haven't listened to the headlines, it's just an assortment of right-wing Halloween treats.
I guess these are smaller tidbits.
This is like the tapas of Amuse Bouche.
I mean, I ran out of fentanyl on Halloween.
I don't know about you guys.
I mean, when you're giving it away at every piece of candy, it's like, dude, I know it's cheap, but that price adds up.
So, Mike, where do you want to get started on our slightly delayed Halloween right-wig roundup?
Well, of course, what we just talked about there is the fact that we have this ridiculous story that's been going around for pretty much the entire month of October that drug dealers were putting fentanyl in candy because that's what you do with an unbelievably expensive and highly addictive and dangerous drug.
Is you just give it away for free so that children can die from it and then they figure out which house was giving away the fentanyl and then you go to jail for forever for murder because that's how you make a successful drug dealing business.
You kill people randomly and then get caught and that's the rest of your life.
Yeah, aside from sharing it socially, I hate to break it to conservative Christians, but people that do drugs are not giving away their drugs.
Drugs are not easy to obtain, and they're not the cheapest.
I mean, there's a spectrum of cheapness for drugs, for sure, but it's still a pretty pricey habit, all things considered, and there's no sense to buying a bunch of drugs and then giving them to children.
Typically when people are giving away drugs for free, it is as a sample to people with disposable income in the hopes that they will return looking for more of the drugs and that they can be charged.
Children can't do that.
That is what FIFA Ultimate Team is for.
Yes!
We're totally disregarding as well that literally no one, no child ever, has died or been injured due to poison or tampered candy.
The one child that did die...
He was killed by his father, who murdered him and tried to hide it, and started this awful conspiracy theory that we're dealing with to this day.
Sorry, Todd, I hate to break it to you, but I died from poison candy.
Oh, shit!
There's been no Al here for 25 years!
No, I mean, I'm here.
I'm proud to finally- Spooky ghost?
Exclusive announcement on the podcast.
I'm the first demonstrably provable apparition in the history of the world.
So, congratulations everybody who always believed.
You did it.
You got me!
L is the peanut M&M from the commercial now where they're celebrating having not been eaten again for another year and then he realizes, wait a minute, I think I did get eaten.
I'm actually just a ghost hanging out with chocolate M&M.
Dude, the more they do with those Eminem characters, like, the creepier it is that they've been anthropomorphized.
Like, now they have, like, spirits and shit.
It's just like, dude, I don't want to be thinking about, like, you know... I don't want to think about it when I'm eating a single, like, chicken breast, and I certainly don't want to think about it when I'm eating Eminems by the handful.
It's like the popular episode of Futuramas.
Yeah, yeah, Toy Story fucked me up with, like, any of my toys, and just like, well, I gotta, like, turn all these around so they're not watching me all the time.
They might be alive.
Now we got the M&Ms, like, oh, your M&Ms have souls.
Ah, that's...
Not a road I really wanted to travel down.
I'm going to tell the audience up front, the following riff has fuck all to do with QAnon.
So skip forward if you want more QAnon action, because for the moment, I need to talk about who enforces the toy rules in the Toy Story universe?
Because when the people walk in, they all fall down.
They're just like, oh, we're toys or whatever.
Except at the end of the first movie, where they decided not to do that, because apparently you could just decide to show humans that you're alive whenever you want.
You traumatized that one kid.
And it's just like, why haven't, like, certainly some toys love their people enough that they'd like to be like, I'M ACTUALLY ALIVE AND REAL AND WE CAN TALK!
That's like Toy Story 7 down the line, there's like the High Council of Toys, and like, they have like, spies everywhere, and they find that if you're not following the toy code of ethics, you can be like, brought before them for reprimand.
I wanted to be Hellraiser.
I want the toys to break the rules and then a sinister light shines through the AC grate on the floor, then the wall opens up, there's some Cinnabite toys that are just like, you've broken the code, we have come.
He's like, no, no!
I just loved Andy so much!
It's like, oh, you'll love Andy forever now!
It's like, oh no!
Yeah, and then Woody gets dragged into some alternate dimension to be toy punished for it.
Yes!
Yeah, there's gotta be an elite team of either demons or, like, toy assassins when it gets out that, like, someone's broken the rules, and it's just, like, that's what you're... the, like, the kid's Barbie doll goes missing, and it's like, oh, the dog must have got it.
Like... Yep.
It's not the... She talked, and then you just find the Barbie doll head ripped off.
Oh, she's so rough with her toys.
The Barbie doll's tongue has been ripped out, and it's like, that's not menacing or anything.
It's like, the Cinnabites know how to leave a message.
Barbie dolls don't even have tongues!
They do now.
They do now.
That's how this works.
Well, I have the special limited edition Barbie doll, the all-tongue Barbie doll.
It was the only Barbie doll marketed at young boys.
It didn't do very well.
Anyway, let's get back to talking about the whimsical nature of QAnon wackadoos, thinking that people are going to put fentanyl in candy.
So I'm assuming that this year, as with every year, there's absolutely no evidence that anyone's putting anything in candy besides candy.
Shockingly, it is November 2nd when we're recording this, and November 1st was not full of hospitals trying to resuscitate all sorts of fallen children that had OD'd on fentanyl.
So I think unless, like, every fentanyl house... We're in the clear.
Yeah, I think we're in the clear.
Unless, like, the fentanyl houses were on the first stop, and that was at the bottom of your bag of candy, and It's like candy corn or whatever, and the kid really isn't into it.
They wait a week, and they're like, ah, I'll eat the candy corn, it's in the bag.
And it's like, oh no, fentanyl!
So, but yeah.
Maybe the people dosing the candy are just mad good at their job, so no kids died, but a bunch of kids were just having like a great time.
This is the best, you know what guys, this is the best Halloween ever, I love you guys.
I mean, like, I watched, we watched a bunch of, we watched all the Conjuring movies on
Halloween.
So I know a lot about ghosts now.
And most of the time, it's demons.
And if it is a ghost, it's being puppeted by a demon.
That is super bleak.
Good to know.
Well, unfortunately for the conservative people, Halloween is not the only time where people want to dress as slash behave as cats.
And I can't believe I have to say this, but for whatever reason this week, one of our booze-boosh items is Republicans having beef with, or you know, bringing up this weird litter box thing.
Mike, what's up with the litter box?
So, Dan Bullock, who is, or I should say was, an election denier before he won the Republican primary, And then immediately got in front of the cameras and was like, Joe Biden is the duly elected president of the United States of America, and please make me the next senator from New Hampshire.
Thank you very much.
That guy, who's totally on the level with everything he says, it's been unearthed in an interview where he totally buys into the idea that there are litter boxes in high schools all around America for people that identify as cats to shit in, because that's how they live their lives.
And when it was brought to his attention that, like, that's not true, where did you get this from, Bollock doubled down that he had solid sourcing for this.
And that it is a really real thing that exists.
So, yes, even with one week to go before the election, we still have people ranting and raving about litter boxes in high school because these gender-fluid, non-binary, trans kids, that ain't all good enough for them!
Some of them have to be cats!
That's the slippery slope we're on as Americans.
And if you don't vote for me and have me knock some sense into these children, they're going to be rolling around in litter boxes for the rest of their lives because they're going to think they're Tabby the house cat or whatever.
So, and there's a reporter on Twitter.
I wish I could remember who.
Him and his associates spent a lot of time and money tracking down exactly how this shit-ass myth got started, and they found only one reference to cat litter being kept in classrooms, and it was, I believe, in New York.
A person suggested that possibly litter be kept in classrooms in the event of a lockdown That went on so long that they needed emergency bathroom options.
And somehow from that one mention somewhere that, like, this be a option for school shootings, where people have to shelter in place for long enough that they need to use the bathroom, as emergency applies, it became this incredibly anti-trans Yeah, it was Ben Collins and it was in the school district where Columbine happened, so that's why school shootings were on the minds of people there.
So yeah, that is the origin story of this nationwide litter box phenomenon.
That will never go away.
You'll be hearing about it for the next 20 years, that they've got litter boxes in the high schools for all the weirdos and freaks that, like, think they're cats.
Because that's how you try to wedge in that homophobia and transphobia by just saying they're so nuts, this is where they've gone to.
And it's like, no!
They're just people that are attracted to people of the same gender, or they're people who identify as a gender that they're not, like, assigned at birth and all that stuff.
I mean, it's just, it really isn't that hard to figure out, but nope, they just gotta go where they're going, and God bless them.
Yeah, but where do we let it end, Mike?
What if they want to be cats?
Uh, right.
Then they're cats.
Great.
Wonderbar.
But that impacts my life somehow!
Yeah.
It would impact my life if I actually had litter boxes full of human poop in them at the high school.
That would impact my life.
You can identify as a cat, but just please use the toilet.
That's all.
And again, that's the whole riff here.
It's the whole thing.
So, it's just so...
Yeah, it falls apart in a million different ways when you look at it, because, uh, transhumanism or whatever isn't really a thing.
It's also not, uh, and if it is, it's not a protected class.
Bold stance to be taken here.
That's not going to age well 20 years from now when people are Gene Splicen.
When the cat people want to cancel me, I will.
When I got the Mantis Blades and I'm cyberpunk 2770 and up, I'm coming back to this, Sarge.
I'm reminding you of your heresy that you said.
You don't have to worry about the cat people.
They're notoriously pussies.
Boom!
Ayy!
Wordplay.
Dad joke!
Okay, enough of these dumb idiots.
Let's get to our headlines and talk about some real shit.
From the digital headlines to the digital frontlines, it's Q's in the News.
Elon Musk is back in the news this week.
He whose penis looks like Two-Face, the villain from Batman comics.
It's horrible disfigurement.
So disfigured is Elon Musk's penis that simply glimpsing it for a brief moment sears it into your brain so you can point it out into a lineup anytime you would need to.
So he, having been compelled through the release of some of his texts to actually go through with his Twitter deal, is now the king of Twitter!
Hooray!
Yay!
Elon's the greatest!
We all love you!
And use of the n-word spiked 500% that day, which is not a lie.
And then Elon said, everyone can be verified for $20 a month.
And then Stephen King told him to go eat a dick and fuck off.
And then he said, what about $8 a month?
And I believe Stephen King's stance did not change.
Have you seen a single person with a blue checkmark saying, yeah, I'm willing to pay $20 to keep this fucking blue checkmark?
I mean, being verified didn't That doesn't mean a lot, but it meant something.
Does it?
And a lot of people worked very hard to get verified.
I saw reporters in Africa being like, being verified on Twitter is one of the, as a reporter, is one of the few things that protects my life.
Like I got sent to jail three times for But by the government here but being like having this fit being a verified on Twitter as a reporter here like protected me and now you're like I can't afford 20 US dollars a month and certainly not going to pay for it when everyone can pay for it.
It is also going to When you pay for it, it's going to move your responses up.
So yours are at the top.
So all the awful racists that are going to pay for it now, you're going to see their responses before anybody else.
Oh, the other thing I loved about that $8 plan was that you would get less ads.
It would not be ad-free.
You're just going to get less ads.
You can't escape the ads because Elon needs ads to pay down his horrifying debt on Twitter somehow.
And he can't run advertisers off by saying, hey, if people want to get rid of your ads, they can just do it for $8 because that's not a great way to incentivize ad makers to buy fucking space on your social media platform.
And he's also just like, he's also just like, you know, like, oh, well, we have to we have to do something to break the money, Ed, because, you know, like, Twitter can't be just sustained by ads alone.
And it's just like, well, shucky darn, I guess the free market is broken.
Twitter's over.
We're gonna bring back Vine, which failed because it didn't make any money.
Because there's no way to advertise, because no one's gonna watch even a five-second ad for a six-second video.
Like, it's just not gonna happen.
The second they try to do that shit, it's over.
And now Tumblr's announced that they're waving the white flag.
They're gonna allow boobs on Tumblr again.
And it's like, the timing of this is very interesting.
And then Jack, formerly of Twitter, is starting Twitter too.
I don't know what it's actually called, but he's like, I'm starting a new social media platform.
Blue Sky.
The new form is Blue Sky.
That's very dumb.
You should just call it Twitter, too.
Yeah, everybody hates that, I'm sure.
I mean, I hate that, in my opinion, is right.
That's a stupid name.
Green bracketed box, everyone dislikes.
That sounds like a secret military operation, or some sort of code name for something.
It doesn't sound like a social media platform.
Blue Sky.
Yeah.
And I bet his justification for it is very pretentious.
So, at the very least, never explain why you settled on that.
Yeah, and all these people who are like, oh yeah, Elon owned the libs by buying Twitter.
I believe the filing statement said that Dorsey got like a billion dollars from his stock.
So it's like, yeah, Elon owned that evil lib who used to run Twitter by literally cutting him a billion dollar check.
Please, please, Daddy Elon, own me that way.
Again, much like Al, I'll take a cool million to be owned by you this way.
Instead of ten fingers, you only have to give me seven.
That's all I need, and I'll be properly owned as a lib.
If Elon Musk wants to vastly overpay for our podcast, just buy it from us, deal.
We can start Twitter, too, the podcast.
We can get back to recording binge where it is.
Yeah, I mean if that's part of the dark Faustian bargain I have to strike to get my one million United States dollars from the deformed penis of Elon Musk, I will offer up the podcast.
I have been pretty upfront with the listeners that I can be bought.
Dear listeners, I have a price.
Yeah, so you have this going on, and then today, Elon, who is literally a dog who caught a car.
He has no fucking idea what he's doing with Twitter.
He is just waking up every morning in flop sweat, just like, oh god, what do I do now?
How do I try to make this?
Right, yeah.
He's basically the comedian who just had his first four jokes receive deafening silence, and now he's just sitting here going like, God damn, that was my shit that usually kills!
What do I do now?
Do I start trying to talk to people in the crowd and try to do that kind of riffing?
Do I do a little improv?
Do I just stick to my routine, which is obviously not landing?
Today, he announced that there was a committee of people that were going to be reviewing everything.
And right now, all sorts of right-wingers on Twitter are like, this committee sucks!
Elon's just another fucking shitlib!
He's not going to give everyone their accounts back!
Way to fuck it up, Elon, you dumb prick!
And the best part about it is, is like, Elon was engaging with Cat Turd before this.
Like, Elon was engaging with all these right-wing chunguses for, like, the period of time before the transaction and right after the transaction, and they're already turning on him.
They're already, like, being like, hey, you're not letting us, like, harass Chrissy Teigen until she quits the platform again, and I don't see Tom Hanks being called a pedophile nearly enough So what's going on, Elon?
Like, up your game.
Like, this place is supposed to be just Gab 2.0, but with libs crying.
Because that's how we get the dopamine hit, is to actually see liberals going, no, stop being so mean to me!
And they're like, no, I will never stop being mean to you.
And you have to stay on Twitter so I get to keep doing it.
And then the libs leave.
And the conservatives are sad, because without the lib ownership, what does it matter that you call Christy Teigen a murderer and John Legend an adrenochrome-loving psychopath?
I mean, it's all about the reaction.
It's all about the big payoff from engaging your enemies and making them sad.
And that's what they were hoping Twitter was going to give them.
And right now they're not allowed on the platform.
And if they do get on the platform, they're going to run their target audience off very quickly, which is going to bankrupt Twitter almost immediately.
I mean, it is just super... I mean, it seems certainly likely that there is going to be a mass exodus from Twitter as soon as anyone with a juice, like, gives the shine to a different platform.
Or maybe everybody just floods to Instagram or whatever, because people love to hate Facebook, but don't seem to not be bothered by Instagram.
They're like, boo, Facebook sucks, we hate Facebook, boo, Instagram is great.
It's just like, you know that's the same company, right?
They're just like, la la la, we can't hear you, bikini pictures go on the Gram.
Yes, exactly.
Yeah, I didn't bring up Tumblr for no reason.
It got bought out, changed its policies, i.e.
did not allow adult content, and immediately lost 50% of its user base.
Oh yeah, when do I get to see people's genitals on Tumblr again?
This is news to me.
Uh, now.
It went into effect last night.
They shot themselves in the foot, and now they're waving the white flag tied to the gun they shot themselves in the foot with.
So they just flipped a switch and now doodity's back on Tumblr?
Yeah, the policy change is a bit corporate and mealy-mouthed.
They don't say how explicit you could be again, but they are allowing sexual content.
Well, there's only one way to find out, so thanks for listening, everybody, and supporting the show.
If you'd like to continue to support the show, you can do so for free by telling a friend or leaving a five-star review, wherever you listen to your podcast.
Join the Hellworld Gumbler.
If you have money and you'd like to support the podcast, you can do so by visiting us at patreon.com slash pokerpolitics, where for $5 or above the board, you can get access to all of our bonus content.
Okay.
I love that bit.
I've watched like three different animes recently where they're just like They play the end credits early because the character's like, oh, and it ended.
I love that gag.
It's so simple.
It's a classic because it works.
The two other quick things I was going to bring up is that one, now Elon's talking about, like, allowing you to post porn on Twitter, but then people have to pay to see the videos.
Yeah, he's like, you can post videos that are, like, longer, but people will have to pay to access them.
And it's like, dude, the Internet's full of free porn.
Like, that will never work.
And the people that are posting porn videos on Twitter are doing it to just be like, hey, would you like to see the conclusion of this penis going inside of me?
Visit my OnlyFans.
It gives me $20 a month.
OnlyFan and Fansly links in the bio.
Yeah, why would they possibly like invite Twitter in as like a weird third party where they could just be like they could post a six second clip of them doing whatever they're doing on Twitter and then with an OnlyFans link and then people that want to watch the rest of it will just go give the $20 a month directly.
Yeah, and the other thing I was going to mention is like the whole checkmark thing.
One of the main reasons why Twitter is useful to people is that it's where you go for breaking news.
Like you, for good or for ill, but like, this is the thing you go on Twitter and it has breaking news.
And most of the time it's from blue check marks that are verified and you can trust the breaking news.
Like sometimes it's wrong, but not usually, I would say like 85, 90% of the time when you see a story on Twitter, it's usually right.
I remember, One day when I was in the casino...
A guy was like, he's like, my wife just texted me.
She saw on Twitter that Kobe Bryant died.
I hope it's a hoax.
That would be terrible.
And then the story came out and it's like, once you make it so anyone can buy a check mark, every disinformation troll that wants to fucking fuck with people is just going to make their page look exactly like that of a reputable reporter.
And they're just going to publish bullshit.
They're just going to publish fake stuff.
And suddenly if you check Twitter for the news, now you can't believe them.
So you have to go to like, uh, you have to go to like CNN.com or wherever, or if it's like a Kevin Durant traded to the Celtics, you have to go on ESPN or NBA.com to see if it's real.
And once people no longer trust Twitter, they're like, why do I go to Twitter in the first place to get bullshit when I can just go to like the actual news and sports websites and get the actual breaking news from them directly?
It's a great- Yeah, in the words of Syndrome, once everyone is special, Exactly, exactly.
Also, bringing up the breaking news thing leads me to one of my next points about Elon Musk's purchase of Twitter, which is his primary reasoning behind wanting to do it was that Twitter was the digital town square.
Well, I don't have to pay $20 a month to go to the fucking town square, mate.
I also don't have to pay $8 a month to go to the town square.
And when I go to my town square, I don't have to deal with somebody who's just like, I gave the city $8 this month, so I get this megaphone provided to me so that I can yell louder at you.
It's just like, by default, the fact that Twitter has to generate revenue because it's a business means that it's never been the fucking town square.
It's always been just a place for people to talk on the internet, which means it's not as special as he thought it was.
He was talking about it like it was some grand free market of ideas, and it's just like, The moment you let people start saying the n-word on Twitter again, it literally increased five-fold.
This is not a public space.
If you go to public spaces, people aren't doing that because there's nowhere to hide for them.
You can't have a public square that requires you to pay for it and allows you to hide your identity.
That's not a public fucking square!
No, I don't know.
It seems... yeah, it's baffling.
And another thing I saw was someone was talking about how if you actually have to give identification as part of the verification process, it's like...
You do realize that there's plenty of people out there who can't or do not want to give you their ID for this information, for this privilege.
It's like... Yeah, I can't wait for Twitter hacked.
Everyone's licenses compromised.
Now they have your actual real life address.
I saw someone pointing out Elon Musk is, no joke, the king of Twitter now.
He has access to all of our DMs and can just give them out whenever he wants.
So remember that the next time you're DMing like anything on Twitter.
The semi-reasonable people that were there before are not anymore.
There's a God King of Twitter now and he is fucking scrambling around for a way to make
And if it's selling your information to the government, he will fucking do that.
Like, there's no tinfoil hat here.
He's already trying to retroactively charge the government for Starlink.
Yes!
He's just like, hey, remember when I was cool and I launched into Starlink?
He keeps doing all this stuff and then just being like, how am I, world's richest man, supposed to afford these things?
And it's just like, you're literally the richest man on Earth.
Like, just absorb the hit.
It's like, oh no, this Starlink thing is gonna cost me 40 million dollars or whatever.
It's like, dude...
You're worth like $44 billion or whatever?
Shut up.
You shut your mouth.
I think it's even more than that.
I have no idea.
Is he worth like half a trillion dollars or whatever?
It's less now.
That's what makes this so weird.
If he is this ultra rich guy, he should have just paid for Twitter out of his own pocket And then he wouldn't be under these ridiculous deadlines because it's like the main thing about this is everyone's reporting is he's got so much interest on all these loans from all these companies and the Saudi and the Saudis who bought in that.
I think someone said he has to come up with $152 million a month just for the interest on the loans like Twitter has to generate that for him to be hit to hit break even.
And Twitter has never made money in the past 10 years?
to work on the principle of these loans and stuff. And it's just like, wow, what a great decision.
And Twitter has never made money in the past 10 years. Or never
made a profit.
It is excruciatingly hard to rub two nickels together with I mean, it's been just... But doesn't technically, like, Amazon not make, quote-unquote, make a profit or whatever?
Yeah.
The world, capitalism is broken, but, you know.
Or at the very least, rigged.
Yes.
Oh, yeah, the game's written.
If Twitter has to be what gets sacrificed on the altar for us to see Elon take all of these L's, then so be it.
Maybe we'll get one of Elon Musk's seasonal doing a thing that's actually kind of helpful for the planet, even though he is a huge douchebag.
That would be great.
Like, maybe he will just decide to invest in some company that he believes in that is, like, developing something that ends up being incredibly important.
And we're just like, ah, yes.
Well done, Elon Musk, for putting some of your money into this important thing.
But also, you still suck, and fuck you.
Yes!
Also, I want this known.
Fuck you.
For the record, we don't like you.
Every once in a while you'll do a cool thing, but that doesn't make you a good person.
Nope.
It's pretty obvious that you are not a good person.
Yeah.
Thankfully, that's the only not good person we have to talk about this week.
That's obviously a lie, because in much much grimmer news than us dunking on Elon Musk, There was an attempted kidnapping slash assassination of Nancy Pelosi by way of Hammer.
And for more information on this, I will turn to our expert in all things QAnon crazy, Mr. Mike Rains.
Mike!
What's going on with the hammer?
So a pilled lunatic.
This guy is a right winger.
His writings state that he got radicalized by Gamergate and he went right down that road.
This guy broke into the Pelosi's home and apparently encountered her husband because she was not there.
And his plan was basically to stay until Pelosi arrived.
And then he was going to wheel her before Congress, all tied up, and then make her confess her crimes and break her knees if she lied to him.
And in this ordeal, when he was dealing with her husband, they got into a scuffle and he hit her husband in the head with a hammer.
Her husband is still in the hospital.
He's 82 years old, and I think being hit in the head with a hammer is probably really bad for someone that age.
It would suck for anybody, but in particular, when you're really old, it really sucks.
So this happens, and this is literally from the assailant's own mouth why he did it.
The cops are like, yep, this guy just broke into the house.
There's no relationship between him and the Pelosi's.
None of the stuff that's on the internet is true.
Um, there were people that were saying, oh no, he, uh, like Paul Pelosi said that, uh, he was a friend and the actual reporting from the 911 call was that Pelosi was like, there's a guy in my house.
What the fuck is going on?
And he, the, uh, assailant yelled out, I'm a friend.
My name is David.
And so like, he was trying to, trying to reassure the 911 dispatcher that no, everything's fine.
Paul's just a little, he's had a few too many.
He's had too many brews.
He's forgotten about his friend David, who just came in here with a hammer.
Donald Trump has weighed in.
There's probably something fishy going on here because the glass didn't break properly in the window, as a lot of QAnon and other conspiratorial people have brought up.
Glass shatters one way when it's broken outwards, and inwards the other way.
And this is obviously a guy that was like, I've seen people saying that the guy was trying to escape.
That, like, he was, like, some sort of, like, gimp from Pulp Fiction.
Or an adrenochrome baby that was trying to liberate itself from the Pelosi household.
And then Paul's like, no, no, my sweet chrome!
You can't leave!
I love that they either think that, A, the people investigating the crime scene are too stupid to know which way glass is broken out of a window.
They do that a lot in movies, too, where somebody will come in and he'll just be like, and now it's time for my critical deduction.
That window was broken from the other side.
And it's just like, yeah, man, that's fucking obvious.
We're all crime scene investigators.
What are you on about?
Or, that it's a huge cover-up, but somehow they, like, what do they think, like, some patriot with a drone took a picture of the crime scene, like, before they had a chance to change the direction of the glass?
Or, third option, it's just yet another example of Moloch wanting you to find out, so that way you can stew with the fact that you're losing.
Ehhh, we're getting ya!
Oh, yeah, yeah, it is.
It's all of that stuff where we, the Deep State leaves the evidence so that you, the red pilled, can see it, but the dumb normies can't grasp it.
And yeah, they just they want they want armchair crime scene investigating by only the most fervent Donald Trump supporters.
Well, and then yeah, to get back to Elon and then Elon tweeted out and removed the his tweet of the now the always debunked conspiracy
theory that this was Paul Pelosi's illicit gay lover and they were having a or he was a gay sex worker and he wasn't
paying him. But it was some sort of spat. Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, yeah, this again, this like, part of the whole that litter
box thing we talked about previously. It's just like this is another way to encourage homophobia and transphobia. And
that gay people are just weird and violent and deviant. And us
normal heteros would never take a hammer to somebody else's head
even though domestic violence is a scourge upon society, all that
good stuff.
And this was the talking point for forever, and Republicans had just a jolly jape laughing at the husband of the Speaker of the House nearly being killed.
And then when you go down the road further, there are people who will tell you, oh, this was done to generate sympathy for the midterms.
Like, this is a sacrifice to Mollick to try to keep the House for the Democrats.
These people will never hold themselves accountable for the fact that they preach violence against their enemies all day, every day.
That their enemies are Luciferian monsters who will stop at nothing to enslave humanity and kill God.
And when somebody acts out on that rhetoric, it can't be that.
There has to be the secret, true reason why it happened.
After all of their original nonsense got debunked, now the right-wing talking point is, oh, he was an illegal immigrant, he was here illegally for a very long time, and if only the Democrats were serious about the border, this wouldn't have happened.
And it's no, this wouldn't have happened if you people didn't tell everybody that Nancy Pelosi kills babies, and that she's destroying America, and that Maybe we have to use the Second Amendment to save our nation and all of these other implicit threats against democratic leadership because that's what you've been doing in perpetuity.
It's how these people have been operating for forever.
Yeah, and it kind of goes without saying, but I mean, thank fuck that Nancy Pelosi wasn't at home.
I mean, Jesus.
Yeah.
Like, it seems like if that plan went sideways and the guy was, like, face-to-face with Nancy, he would probably have been a little more aggressive with that hammer.
Yeah.
Because these people just want their enemies murdered.
Yep.
And her husband's expected to make a full recovery from what I understand now, but he did have to undergo emergency brain surgery.
Yeah, well, the terminology I heard was long recovery, which when you're 82, Lord knows if you, like, make it to the long recovery, so...
Yeah, I just wanted to be clear that, like, thankfully, like... Hopefully this didn't kill him, is basically what we're saying.
Yes.
And the crazy person is a QAnon follower and has explicitly stated in his own blogs that he was red-pilled and radicalized by GamerGate.
So, here we are!
Video games finally... well, toxic misogyny and a million other things created Gamergate, and now it has created a literal political assassin.
So, hooray!
Yay!
Everything's going great!
We did it.
We won it in a pack.
We're the best.
So, quickly, right before we go to the mailbag, I just wanted to bring up that I remembered that QAnon's favorite South American scumbag, Bolsonaro, lost his election over the weekend.
Sure did.
Yeah, he sure did.
What a big win.
Yes.
And QAnon is... The funniest thing is, Bolsonaro has declared that he's going to, you know, abide by the Constitution.
I lost.
It sucks to suck, but them's the brakes.
Meanwhile, I see on QAnon, they're like, this isn't over yet!
The military may yet intervene!
Don't give up on Brazil!
We can still do this!
And it's like, no, Bolsonaro already quit.
He's already said he lost.
Well, he hasn't said he's lost, because that's the Trumpian way of not admitting that you lost.
Bolsonaro's like, yeah, the government will transition.
I will abide by the Constitution.
I'm gonna be a good boy about this.
So, Tropical Trump is not gonna pull his own January 6th.
He's just going to tuck his tail between his legs and slither offstage left and hope that Lula fucks up so that in four odd years he can run for president against him again.
and be like, hey, I will do the I will do the Trump thing where I run again after I've lost.
But the whole civil unrest thing at my behest, not so much.
Yeah. So don't don't don't do that.
There were like people blocking traffic and like throwing fits in Brazil after he lost. But that
I saw I saw a picture of one lady who appeared to be crying slash praying while holding her rosary.
India.
India.
And I was like, wow, that's pretty intense.
Yeah.
It's just like, what do you think happened there?
Like, if God was involved in the election at all, do you think he wouldn't, like, let your guy win?
I don't know.
Maybe you just didn't pray hard enough.
The dolphins just wanted to play.
That's something I really, I would love to have an honest conversation with any QAnon believer who's just like super Christianity and super all about God, like taking care of things and settling the scores.
I'm just like, so why did God let Obama win?
Why did God let Biden win?
Why has God let the bad guys rule humanity for thousands of years?
And why are you the lucky little snowflake that's in the generation of humanity that will actually see the wind?
Like, it's just, why was God a dick to everybody since like the reign of Caesar until this very moment when God was like, you know what?
I'm going to have Donald Trump kick some ass in my name and make everything good again.
I could have done that like thousands and thousands of years ago, but I just wasn't feeling it.
But this Trump guy, I like him.
I'm riding with him.
I'm doing this.
But then I'm going to make Trump lose the election to Biden.
But that's just a little plot twist because I'm God and I have to make things weird and mysterious.
It's like a writer room, but it's just one guy.
Exactly.
Anyway, uh, yeah, so congratulations, uh, leftist people of Brazil.
You have done well.
We salute you.
And it sounds sarcastic, because a lot of the stuff I say sounds sarcastic, but it's not, I promise you.
Our listeners got questions, we got answers.
It's time for Q and A. These questions better be fuckin' sweet.
Well, Paste, or I don't think I've said their name wrong a million times and I apologize, but they ask, what are you all wearing for Halloween and what's your favorite Halloween candy?
Ooh, I wore just normal clothes because I was still very tired.
My partner, however, had three different costumes.
She's a cosplayer, so she rotated through a couple for Halloween covering for me.
I bought a fun little skeleton bat mask from CVS, so I wore that for a little bit.
And candy.
Fuck, I don't know if I really have a...
I bought a bag of Halloween candy that no trick-or-treaters showed up for,
and it had 100 grand bars in it, and I'd never had those before.
They're quite good.
Yeah, 100 grand's are nice.
I also personally know that you like the seasonal flavored Kit Kat,
the Witch's Brew Kit Kat. I do.
The marshmallow flavor, they're marshmallow flavored.
Yeah, the actual flavor's marshmallow, but aren't they branded as like,
Witch's Fingers, yeah. Witch's Fingers, yeah.
Witch Fingers.
But yeah, I remember, I think we both discovered those at the same time,
and we were both just like, oh, these are actually pretty nice.
It turns out that all varieties of Kit Kats are great.
I stopped at a Japanese candy shop a few months back and got some citrus orange Kit Kats, and it was pretty nice.
Yeah, when I was in Japan, we got all the regional varieties of Kit Kats that we could find, and other than champagne flavored Kit Kats, I've loved all of them.
Anyway, back to the question ahead.
For me, I dressed as nothing because I did nothing for Halloween.
Well, I went over to a friend's house and we watched Bodies, Bodies, Bodies, which is surprisingly fun.
I recommend it if you're interested in a fun movie and the inclusion of Pete Davidson does not dissuade you, which I would totally understand if it did because I've avoided the guy for a while.
But now that it seems like Hollywood has turned on him, I'm just like, OK, well, now I can watch stuff he's in.
As for my favorite candy, I prefer the pieces of Reese.
I don't know how Reese has become made into pieces, but they're delightful.
I also was not wearing any costumes.
I bought way, way, way too much candy for the tiny amount of trigger-treaters that visited ye old homestead.
So whenever I make it to work again, I'm going to be the belle of the ball, because they're just going to be like, look, this is going to put me in a diabetic coma if I eat all this shit.
So here you go.
One bucket of candy for the staff here.
As for my favorite Halloween candy, I think my favorite candy is probably just Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.
I love them, and I especially love them cold.
Just throw one of those four packs in the fridge, and then a half hour later, just cold Reese's Peanut Butter Cups look excellent.
Just absolutely excellent.
I've actually seen some 7-Elevens and other convenience stores do that already.
They have Reese's Peanut Butter Cups in the dairy section.
They have them pre-chilled for you.
And I was like, these people know what's going on.
They know there's a market for this.
I've seen displays in the coolers where you open to get your beverages, like beer or otherwise.
Usually it's with soda or whatever.
But they'll have little hanging displays on the inside glass of the door that have little Reese's sleeves in them.
And it'll just be like, try them cold!
Yup!
Damn right.
Yeah, like it's new technology that you can chill kids.
You say that, but have you ever tried hot cereal?
It's been waiting for you the whole time.
It's called oatmeal.
No, that's a different thing.
That's too thick.
I'm talking about, you take your Chex Mix or whatever, and boom, you heat up that milk before you pour it in.
I've never actually done it, but I've heard that it is a thing one can do, and I was just like, interesting.
It's an option I've always had, but I've never considered it.
And if House of the Dragon ever gets really popular, where it gets into mainstream culture, maybe next year I'll dress up as a horribly limping Viserys Targaryen with that cool half-mask that he was wearing in that scene, because that just looked like a good costume to wear.
Also, you're having a laugh, right?
That thing did more streaming numbers than any season of Game of Thrones.
Cool, then great.
Then it's relevant?
It is confirmed.
Okay, cool.
Then I can wear that next year and not feel bad.
Outstanding.
At first I thought you were doing a bit, and then I was just like, wait a minute, I think he's serious about this.
Does he not know how wildly successful House of the Dragon is?
Nope.
No, he didn't.
I, person who remembered the abuse of the previous season of Game of Thrones, or the previous iteration of Game of Thrones, In the minority as one of the people who's just like I don't give a fuck if it's good I don't want to support it because who knows how who knows it's gonna happen a few seasons from now
I'm not gonna invest another 20 hours into a story for them to fucking biff it.
It's just not gonna happen.
Especially not for a prequel.
It can only be so surprising.
I've seen the future.
You're not gonna invest 20 hours just for them to crash the plane as hard as Elon's gonna drive Twitter into the ground.
I completely understand.
Yeah, I mean, well, House of the Dragons is still not gonna retroactively make the last season of Game of Thrones good, so, you know, here we are.
Yeah, and I know a bunch of people who I respect say that it's very good, I'm sure, but there's just so much stuff for me to watch that I'm like, I have to, I just don't, I don't have it in me to give them my time, because the last time I did that, I got burned very badly.
And that also happened with Westworld, and it also happened with True Detective.
Yeah, we're in the middle of one of the deepest anime seasons I've seen in like five years, and I'm behind on all of that.
It makes me feel really guilty watching the trashy anime, because there are actually people watching instead.
But sometimes I just want garbage.
I just want to sit down and I want to watch something that's very dumb.
It's usually just like a stupid power fantasy.
I want to watch some dumb idiot that I wish was me just be great.
Yeah, I genuinely am enjoying For anime derailment moment here, Imminence and Shadow, just because the guy is super great, but also doesn't know a big part of why he's great, and everybody's playing along with him because he is right, and I don't know why that gag just continues to get me.
See, for me, I like the show well enough, but I'm worried that that gag is going to get fucking old if they keep doing it, because it's just like, dude, how am I supposed to root for this guy if he's great, if he's also just very stupid?
Yeah, we'll see.
I've actually been reading the light novels of that, and I still find it kind of charming.
But the last episode I watched of that show, he edited on a cliffhanger where he's about to paddle some guy's ass, and I'm very excited to watch that guy's ass get paddled, so... Yeah.
So, up next is SnorlaxCPap saying, what Christmas song are these fine, fine folks going to twist into a cute thing?
Baking seems like it would be a low-hanging fruit for them.
Oh, this is all you, Mike.
Have they done this before?
The thing is, this kind of decoding is more of an Illuminati thing than a QAnon thing.
Because everything gets pulled into the QAnon blob and becomes part of the mythos.
Like, this kind of stuff where, like, you're trying to, like, decode lyrics or decode messages in music videos, that's, like, pure, unadulterated Illuminati stuff.
And that's more their bag.
I mean, they're more, like, kind of culture warrior stuff and getting mad about people getting mad about Baby It's Cold Outside.
That's more their bag.
I don't think they're gonna actually dig into, like, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer to try to figure out, like, what it's, uh...
Illuminati undertones are and why it's trying to tell us to submit to centralized banking or whatever.
Well, that being said, they have to think Mariah Carey is part of the opposition, right?
Oh yeah, Mariah is definitely super evil and Illuminati totes.
Honestly, out of all the celebrities in Hollywood, the short list of celebrities where I would just be like, You know what?
Maybe they are trying to bathe in the blood of the young to keep themselves young like in some sort of Victorian nightmare scenario.
Mariah Carey is kind of up there.
I can picture her having like a dedicated hot tub for blood.
Yeah!
And, like, emerging from it, like Queen of the Damned or whatever?
Yeah, she could definitely have the Peter Thiel Young Blood Chamber, which, again, is super awesome, because that guy is actually funding Republican candidates that QAnon loves.
Now, do I think that's true about Mariah Carey?
Of course not.
That's crazy talk.
It's fun to imagine that, but at the end of the day, Mariah Carey doesn't have to do that.
She's got the money to just do regular beauty treatment methods.
So that she can stay looking quote-unquote young, you know?
So that is the difference between me and a QAnon person.
I don't actually think it's true.
I just like imagining it because it's funny.
Unlike Ron Watkins' Killdozer.
That is totally true.
That has to be what he's doing.
Put a fence around the Sydney Opera House and make sure it's strong.
It has to be Killdozer strong.
Yes.
Well, he's making it a big robot that he can also fuck.
So, it's a Killdozer.
I think you're giving him too much credit.
If you think he's capable of building a Gundam with a Vajay.
Or I guess a Bussy.
A Gundam Bussy!
I stand by my bet here.
I started because it was gross and ridiculous, but you know what?
No.
I've talked myself into it.
He's definitely building a transforming Killdozer that he can fuck.
Fair.
Well, live your best life, Sarge.
Nothing feels as good on the old P as a good date him.
Good morning, Ron.
I love you.
Cleodora Silvestri, Hellworld Grand Inquisitor.
Yes, I bestowed that title to Cleodora last week, so I'm glad they're running with it.
Because Elon has previously lied about Hyperloop to prevent investment in mass transit and get people to buy his cars, and he has now made himself Supreme Lord of Twitter with no one else making meaningful decisions, is there any way left not to mistake him for Judge Doom?
I mean, I'm not very versed in the Judge Doom mythos, so I would have to throw that to... Which ones?
Hold on.
I haven't read... I've read a bunch of Judge Dredd.
I don't know.
Hold on.
Wow, and you don't remember Judge Doom?
I also don't remember Judge Doom.
Oh, we're talking about the character from Roger Rabbit!
I thought this was a Judge Dredd villain.
Oh, goddammit.
I'm such an idiot.
Man, I haven't seen Roger Rabbit since I was like a kid.
I didn't remember this character's name.
Yeah, me either.
That's Buck Warner.
Anyway, I mean, Elon Musk, he carries himself like, again, it would be fun to imagine him like some sort of supervillain or actual antagonist with juice, but the reality is he's just sort of like a whiny dickhead with money who either is himself savvy enough or has people around him that are savvy enough whispering in his ear to sometimes do Uh, do a destruction of a good idea.
Like when he's just like, hey, we don't need, we don't need public transport.
Hyperloop is coming.
And it's just like, well, that's okay.
Well, everybody liked the idea of Hyperloop on paper, but it sort of seemed like obvious that if that was a thing we could do, it would have been done already.
Yeah, it feels like a bit of vaporware.
Because, I mean, he's just like, using the power of vacuum tubes!
And I was like, dude, we've had vacuum tubes since, like, the turn of the previous century.
Like, what are you talking about?
Yeah, they tried this already in New York, and they couldn't figure out how to stop them.
They had to seal those tunnels up because it would have just killed people because we were firing them in giant bullets under the ground.
Watch Ghostbusters 2.
They talk about it.
Yeah, a historical record of events in Ghostbusters 2.
It's as trustworthy as Elon Musk.
That is true.
And it has a big fuckable robot in it to circle back to our Rodney.
In that one it happens to be a supernaturally animated Statue of Liberty.
Smash!
I mean, I feel like we can all agree.
Smash!
Statue of Liberty.
Smash!
Yeah, for sure.
It's the most QAnon American thing ever.
I'd like to huddle her masses.
I guarantee you there's Statue of Liberty porn on Truth Social.
I'm sure if you want such a thing it's pretty easy to find, thanks to the internet.
I'm not going to Google it.
I'm already on the list.
One of these days we need to hook an audience member who's just like super into the podcast and wildly prolific at fan art so we can get Elon Musk voting the Statue of Liberty.
Like a sensual rendezvous between Elon Musk and the Statue of Liberty as fan art for the show.
If you do this for us, I will.
It may not be the permanent thumbnail, but it will be the thumbnail for at least a week or two.
It has to be sensual, though, and not sexual, because sexual stuff won't get us anywhere.
Exactly.
Just kidding, we're not monetized.
Yeah, we're going to Tumblr, baby.
So Johnny S. asks, do you think there are fracture points across QAnon's many factions, or is it too decentralized for that?
There are fracture points in the sense that people yell at each other constantly.
I see all kinds of infighting, but it's just what always happens when You have basically a new religion, and you just have people... My interpretation of the faith is X, your interpretation of the faith is Y, and that just leads to strife and conflict, and that's inevitable.
None of it's going to actually pull people away from just the idea of the Illuminati, because that's the main shittiness of QAnon, is that the framework this was built on is over 100 years old.
This all goes back to the Protocols of the Elders of Zion.
This all goes back to just the idea that a secret group of people rule the world from behind the scenes.
What will happen sometimes is that people will yell at me, and they'll be like, boy, you better hope that Q's real, because if Q's not real, we're in a lot of trouble, because the Illuminati is true, confirmed.
Q might be fake, but we need him to be real, because he will defeat the Illuminati that are really, really real.
And so, no matter what kind of arguments people are having about Q, and, oh, you're decoding it wrong, oh, you're lying, you're speaking on behalf of Q, that makes you a shill, don't donate to his substack, donate to mine, all the grift fighting that's always going on, Like, the Illuminati umbrella will always keep all of them happy and engaged and looking at photos of celebrities covering one eye with a hand to just keep them all getting their dopamine hit from being riled up and furious.
So that's never going to go away.
Yeah, we've talked fairly extensively on the fracturing of the Q movement, and without Q it just kind of accelerated.
But you laid out the factions fairly early in the podcast, and it's just accelerated and been made worse.
Without a central leadership figure to sort of rally around, now it's just sort of like a blob.
Yes.
Which I guess means that, like, it's simultaneously impossible to fracture, but constantly eating small parts of itself, which is weird.
Like, it feels like there's never gonna be, like, a grand, like, now there are two sides to the Q coin.
So much as it's just gonna be, like, a writhing mass of people occasionally just being like, you're not really part of the cause, man!
Like, you suck!
It's like, no, you suck!
Yep, exactly.
That's exactly how it works.
Yeah, like Knowledge Fight likes to say, QAnon works on a lot of wet cement.
Their thing is still forming.
They have some tenants now, but since they take Every other conspiracy in theory and bring it in.
It's just the easiest thing in the world to frame.
Oh, and what's so funny is like the the mythos is malleable as fuck because like when Trump was in office they were like Trump could destroy the deep state any moment he wants to.
He's got all the power in the world.
Q's got him five steps ahead of his enemy.
Yeah, he was one second away from snapping away.
Right.
And then we have posts like I saw like a couple days ago they were like The left like killed your grandmother and wouldn't let you say goodbye to her.
And they did all these horrible things and they wouldn't let therapeutics go out.
And it's like, who was president when the COVID shit got fucking serious?
Like I thought it was the all powerful, unstoppable Trump.
Now you're telling me the left was running America during COVID?
That doesn't jive with what you said previously.
And it's like, now that Trump lost and the liberals have power, we have to like reinvent what was going on back when COVID was around.
So, the story just constantly changes to suit whatever purpose they have at a given moment.
Yeah.
It's all wet cement and very dumb.
Amanda Scatlin asks, have you guys got your Soros Antifa checks yet?
I haven't, but I moved recently, so it may have been sent to my old address.
Were we supposed to be getting them?
What the fuck?
I thought you were supposed to fill out the paperwork, Sarge.
You're saying you didn't fill out the paperwork for the Soros checks?
I'll find the form online.
Yeah, go rattle a tree or something.
Is this a thing?
Does QAnon think we're supposed to get another round of checks?
Or if we're avowed Antifa members, we'll get a check?
Because I already hate fascists.
They know the real score, and that is that as worshipers of the Moloch, we get paid.
We get caged.
I jumped on Truth Social for a little bit and found it most unenjoyable.
Probably gonna limit my time there, but people were like, oh yeah, you came on here because Soros paid you to do it.
Everyone thinks that their enemies are funded by this monolithic evil that's just cutting them checks left and right.
I remember in Fall Cabal, there were Antifa people sarcastically chanting, Soros, Soros, where's our money?
And Janet Oh was like, these Antifa are upset that Soros has reneged on his deal and has not given them the money he said he would.
And it's like, no, they're doing a bit based off the fact that you think Soros pays everyone you don't like.
And it's just... It's just how... It's just their worldview is that the only way our enemies could possibly think the way they do is if they're being put up to it with cold hard cash.
So... Yeah, like, if we were getting paid for this, it'd be definitely a different show.
I imagine the energy you'd be getting out of us if we were actually making wage off of it.
That would be... Oh god.
Dude, we'd be bringing the heat.
Yeah.
Windocity asks, will you stay on Twitter if it devolves to a hellscape?
If not, what platform will you use?
If I leave, I'd probably just write shit on Substack and just try to write an article or two every week about the world.
About how everyone is obsessed with you and they all suck?
You're going to be the next Chase Duke?
Yes!
Oh yeah!
Half of my posts will just be like, the way he obsesses about Mike Rothschild, I'll just do that with Travis Few.
I'll just be like, Travis Few fucks up again, that piece of shit!
I'll just become this totally out of my mind, incoherent lunatic.
It's not even his real name!
Yeah, exactly.
Oh, yeah, I'll just, uh, I'll create, uh, I'll create, like, a knowledge fight for the QAA podcast, and I'll just, like, just, like, tear them down every moment with just incoherent tirades.
I'll just be like, that Jake Rokotansky, that real piece of shit!
Yeah, so yeah, that's, that's what I'm planning on, just absolutely shattering my mind and becoming a complete sociopath.
It's gonna be awesome.
So, uh, please, and it's gonna be, uh, eight dollars a month on Substack to read that shit, so, uh, It'll be better than Twitter.
It'll be great.
So sign up, please.
Immediately.
Yeah.
Either of you guys gonna... I mean, you guys aren't very much on Twitter, so will you just go to Tumblr for the boobies if, like, this place becomes completely useless?
Oh, sorry.
I thought that it was directed specifically at you, which is why I didn't jump in there.
I mean, I barely used Twitter to begin with, so... I mean, I'll probably just let it... let that one shuffle off into the forgotten world of social media, like MySpace.
I'm on Twitter the most on my personal one, and yeah, I'll bunk off if it turns into just a paid Truth Social, but we're not there yet.
Also, I can see boobies on Tumblr again.
Boobies!
Yeah, Tumblr was good back in the day.
Pancake Peasant asks, what's the most obnoxious political ad you've seen recently, local or otherwise?
The one that I saw, like, I don't even know the candidates.
I have no idea, but it was like an attack ad.
And one of the allegations they used was that the money this evil liberal was taking from hardworking taxpayers was going to fund the guy, the one, the living member of, the living brother of the Boston Marathon bombers and I'm like he's in prison for the rest of his life.
I'm sure that like literally what this attack ad is claiming is that like that prison got some money so like maybe he got a slightly more comfortable bed to sleep on while he spends 23 hours a day in an 8x8 like room for the rest of his life and I was just thinking like I just can't imagine being like, oh my god they're they're giving money to that guy that's in prison that did a crime like a very long time ago and I'm still incredibly mad about it even though
He got convicted and he will never see the light of day again.
Like, I have to vote for opponent of this person because, like, a Boston Marathon bomber got cut a check.
I just, like, it was the weirdest thing.
Like, how is that an attack ad?
It's just like, uh...
I don't, I don't get it.
It was really, it really blew my mind.
It's like, my opponent refurbished Lee Harvey Oswald's gravestone!
That motherfucker!
It's like, no, they gave some money to the cemetery where he's interned at.
I mean, I just, it was the weirdest attack.
That's like the last angle on earth I thought you would hit somebody on.
I hate any of the conservative ones I get because my devices listen to me so much that they have to know where I lean now.
And so every once in a while I'll be watching a YouTube video and it will just be like, such and such helped push through Biden's agenda.
And I'm just like, great.
I love that.
And it's just like, oh wait, no, this is supposed to be an attack ad against, against this person.
Despite the fact that I think it's great.
And it's at this point that our internet exploded, so this is Mike in post-production telling Elle to get us out of Hellworld.
Thank you, everybody, so much for your support.
If you'd like to continue to support the show, you can do so for free.
It's wonderful.
You can support us for free by telling a friend or anybody, you know, promoting the show or leaving us a five-star review wherever you get your podcasts from.
Or if you'd like to engage with us on our social medias, that also works.
It counts as support.
Supporting us is so easy.
If you have money and you'd like to support us, that's easy, too.
You can visit us at patreon.com slash PokerPolitics, where a donation of $5 or more a month will get you access to all of our bonus content.
We have several series, including Kabbalen, what we do out of shadows, and Mule's Aaron, where we look at Q-related pop media.
Well, pop in quotes, of course.
So yeah, Oh, or there's a, there are lesser donation tiers.
If you just want to tip your dealers, you can give us a two bucks a month.
It's not a big deal, but if you want that bonus content, $5 a month or more gets you access to all that stuff.
If you have money and you don't want to give us to us jerks, we totally get it.
You can do some good with it by donating it to love146.org.
They're an organization whose vision is the end of child trafficking and exploitation.
Or you can, you know, do with it whatever you feel makes the world better, including but not limited to helping blue candidates win elections that matter.
Thanks as always to our friend DJ Mental Effort for the use of our intro.
They still don't have any social media, so I can't send you to them, but you know who I can send you to?
As I do every week, our friend Frosty, who provides all of our voice work when we need it, including the voice of Q, who pops up every now and again.
You can find them on Twitter, at FrostyVO.
You can find the show on Twitter, at Hellworld, with a Q, at least for the time being, until Elon Musk tells us that we can't be on there unless we want to be racist or homophobic, at which point we will take off.
But for the time being, you can find the show at hellworld with a Q instead of an O. You can find myself on Twitter at hellworldL, with hellworld spelled the same way.
Sarge is at sargenhell, and Mike Rains is, of course, at PokerPolitics.
So, for another quote-unquote successful episode of the Adventures in Hellworld podcast, I've been one of your hosts, Mysterious Al, joined as always, or as sometimes, by the not-so-mysterious Sarge, and of course our expert in all things QAnon crazy, Mr. Mike Rains.
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