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Sept. 22, 2022 - Adventures in HellwQrld
01:30:47
Adventures in HellwQrld Episode #105: Trump gets sued, Trump Rally, lots more Trump!

After a quick chat about Herschel Walker's comments about his debate and MTG maybe kicking somebody, Mike, Sarge, and L deal with Trump getting sued by New York, getting shut down by the Special Master, and his latest and greatest QAnon teasing at another rally. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Time Text
What the fuck?
Content Warning.
The Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in depth about QAnon, which means we have to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people.
Listener discretion advised.
Hello, everybody.
I am Mike Rains, a.k.a.
Poker and Politics, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld.
I am joined, as always, by Sarge.
It's-a me, Sarge.
Now I'm doing the funny voices, but badly.
Yes, and I think you also jumped into our theme song this week.
I think you talked a little too late, and the music kicked in, so there may be a little thing of you swearing right at the jump of the show.
It's going to be interesting to find out.
Cool.
Well, thank God we're talking about it, and can't edit it out now.
Nope.
That's amazing.
So if it's in there, it's in there, and so is all this, apparently.
Professionals!
Yes.
I'm also joined by the Mysterious L, who already jumped in.
Hello, my beautiful babies.
It is I, Sir David Attenborough.
Now that would be a bit I'd love for you to commit to the entire show.
That would be incredible.
Yeah, I mean, that would be a bit of a stretch.
And like, it's not it's not a great impersonation for the two seconds I did it, but just for 90 minutes of podcast.
It seems like it would be a nightmare hellscape for our listeners.
As well it should be.
That's what they're here for.
I mean, we're literally Hellworld, so... Yeah, they're just like, man, fuck listening to people on the NPR with their slick production values and their... The only accents they're doing are their natural accents.
We want to listen to Hellworld instead, where the professionalism is low and the bad accent is high.
All of this is true.
Oh, I also wanted to mention, uh, the heartbreak, the heartbreaking result that I, uh, I saw last night for myself because, uh, QAnon promoter beer at the parade who spent his last night on Twitter yelling at me and calling me fat, uh, posted a poll on truth social asking who was the biggest piece of shit around.
And somehow I made the list like vice, uh, CNN, all of these like really important like entities were on the list, but.
Porker and Politics on Twitter was one of the options that you could click on and I came in with a resounding 0.7% of the vote.
So, so original.
Yeah.
I mean, as a true right-wing piece of shit like myself, I'm going to declare voter fraud.
It was rigged against me.
I won that poll.
It's all bullshit.
It's fucking awful.
Don't worry, friend.
You'll do better next time.
Thanks, David.
You're so reassuring.
Your comforting British accent soothes me.
Aw man, I'm going to be so bummed when he dies.
I spent so much time watching Planet Earth back when it came out on Blu-ray, because it was when Blu-ray was new.
So everyone who was a new one that had a Blu-ray player was just like, dude, you want to see some fucking crazy shit?
Check out Planet Earth on Blu-ray.
I thought you were going to say, you've spent so long working on your David Attenborough impersonation.
No, that would be incredibly sad based on its quality.
Yeah.
That would be me busting out the recorder right now.
I'd be like, yeah, I learned how to slay on this thing and then just like play like hot cross buns.
Oh, man, that'd be awesome.
That's a joke I have to imagine is only for Americans.
At this point, I have to imagine only Americans of a certain age.
Are they still teaching the recorder in elementary school?
I was confused why we were doing it then.
I can't imagine we're still doing it now.
Hey, recorder skills are social skills.
You gotta have them.
You gotta know.
No way.
I bet, uh, when they're trying to introduce kids to music these days, it's like, every kid gets a little loop station.
It's like, make looping music!
And it's on TikTok.
Yeah, every kid gets Pro Tools.
They're just, every kid's a producer now in first grade.
That's just how this works.
Yeah, I mean, it's certainly a hell of a lot better than a recorder session.
Yes, absolutely.
Who do you think is the best recorder player on the planet, and do you think they're making an actual career of it?
Oh god, I don't even, like, I couldn't even begin to, like, joke about a name.
Like, what?
So, I guess, do you believe that there is a top-tier recorder player that's just out there crushing it?
There has to be somewhat like a Yo-Yo Ma of the recorder.
But are they also a barista?
That's the true question our podcast seeks the answer for.
Is the world's best recording user a player?
Do they have a day job?
Or can they just get by exclusively on the recording?
What are they doing when they're not being a recording user player?
A recording user player?
They have a podcast called Recording About the Recorder, and they just talk about their life as a recording-excellent recorder player and how great they are at it.
Yeah, I mean, 9-5 I might be a barista, but my passion's really recording user playing.
Yes.
Anyway, vamping over, let's get to our booze push.
That's a good plan.
Let's do that.
It's time for a light sampling of insanity.
Get ready for the amuse-bouche.
Not a lot in the bouche this time around.
Yeah, I mean, we do get to start with something that I thought was incredibly excellent.
That is Herschel Walker with his self-professed stupidity.
Mike, what's going on with Herschel Walker?
So, Walker is actually going to go on the debate stage against Senator Warnock soon, and he is already trying to tamp down his ability to actually perform in this debate.
He has declared that he is, quote, not that smart, and he has also declared that Warnock is going to embarrass him.
And what's really funny about this is that I've actually seen news articles going like, this is why Walker's doing this, the savvy political play Herschel Walker is making.
And they're explaining to you and I, the dum-dums, that Walker is trying to manage his expectations because he knows he's going to do really shitty.
And basically what he's trying to do is, if he can just recite his memorized talking points and get through the debate, Without going on one of his jags about how we shouldn't be spending money on trees because we have too many trees.
Or how women's issues are, you know, the price of groceries and gas prices.
And not, say, abortion, which is what they were trying to say when they said that.
If he can just get through, if he can just clear that low bar, he'll get like good press from the media about Herschel Walker didn't shit self on stage.
And they'll be like, well, Warnock definitely won the debate because he is actually articulate and can string a sentence or two together.
Walker wasn't that bad, right guys?
Right?
And so it's like, it's really sad when like, that's your goal is to try to let your goal, you're aiming for the D minus, you're aiming for barely passing.
That's the dream.
I love that like, I love that pundits would have to try to explain that to your common person.
Like, here's why Herschel Walker is doing this.
They're just like, Oh, I thought he was just a proud idiot.
What a savvy politician this guy is.
I just love the idea that this is where that party is at right now, and these are the people that they're trying to get into offices.
People who are just, like, about to get crushed so badly in a debate that apparently they also can't avoid.
Uh, that you have to get out in front of a bunch of cameras and just be like, I'm just a small town idiot!
Like, I don't know about all that fancy learning and words.
Like, I'm just a guy.
I'm just a regular guy who's about to get destroyed in a debate.
And we've all been there, correct?
And everyone in the audience is like, no, we don't run for office because we're morons and they shouldn't be elected.
And he's just like, well, I'm going my own way.
I'm dancing to my own drum.
I'm, I'm marching to my own parade or whatever.
I routinely walk into a fight and be like, now, he's gonna kick my ass.
Like, let's just, before we even throw the first punch, he's gonna, he's just gonna, like, just bash my head into a puddle of mud.
We've all been there, right?
Like, when you go to try something new, especially for the first time, and you're just like, like somebody's like, passionate about something, like, Dude, I'm really sick of DDR.
They did DDR for you, and you're just like, wow, that's insane.
And they're just like, dude, you should try!
And you're like, uh... And they're just like, no, really.
And you're like, okay, I guess.
But I am going to be very, like, heads up.
I'm going to be terrible at this.
Just for the record, I'm going to suck at this.
Yeah.
So we've all been there, but we all aren't running for elected office.
Because I feel like if that's the thing that triggers your, you're going to suck at this response, maybe that's not the position for you, mate.
I don't know.
Being able to talk to people that don't have the same views as you is sort of what being a politician is.
It's like your whole job.
Yeah.
To my earlier metaphor, if every boxing match I walked up to, I'd be like, that guy is going to take my head clean off my body.
Someone hopefully at some point would be like, maybe you shouldn't be boxing if every time you step up to the ring, you're like, that guy is going to take my head off just immediately.
Yeah, eventually the Athletic Commission of the States is like, we won't sanction your fights.
You're not allowed to have this fight because you'll get destroyed.
This is something we would get sued if we let you in that ring.
I'm pretty sure the first time.
It happened like the like the the commission would step in right if like if like during the weigh-in or whatever one guy was just like wow my opponent's really big i'm gonna get destroyed by that guy like oh my god i'm gonna come away with so much cte you don't even know i think the commissioner might just be like uh should we let this guy just get into the ring just Self-avowed get smashed?
I don't think so.
He could die.
Waves hand sideways in front of throat?
No.
Just don't.
It's like Coach comes in from off, like during the weigh-in, with the towel, just throws it, pulls him out.
Yeah, I think my favorite thing about this is that people do this a lot when they know that they're probably going to underperform.
They try to manage expectations a little, which always made me laugh when Trump was, when both, well, It wasn't the first debates against Hillary, but once QAnon existed and Trump was going to debate Biden, that's the one thing they couldn't do.
They couldn't lower the expectations, even though Trump sucks at the debates and was going to get smashed.
For like two months, they were like, Biden's going to hide in his basement.
He's terrified of debating the God Emperor.
He's going to get wasted.
You're going to know it.
Trump's going to dunk on him so hard.
And Trump's talking mad shit too.
And then like the week of the debate, suddenly QAnon was just like, they're going to cheat.
They're going to do something.
They're going to rig it for Biden.
And then after the debate, after Biden crushed him, they were like, oh, Biden had cybernetic eye implants.
Let him read a HUD screen that let him see his answers in front of him.
I think we talked about this on the pod where all the theories, like he had a secret earpiece.
That was the most believable one, the secret earpiece.
I remember talking about that.
I mean, you would need the cheating skills of a young chess champion rocking some prostate-massaging anal beads to beat Trump in a debate.
How's that for some topical shit?
Oh, I love you!
Oh, man!
That scandal has continued.
Like, Magnus Carlsen threw a match against that kid on an online tournament because he refused to play him.
Yeah, it is company's online tournament.
The more that Magnus Carlsen just fucking thrashes around in opposition to this, the much more likely it seems like that he just got bodied by some 19-year-old throwing a big pissy shit fit.
Yeah, I'm a huge nerd, so I saw Magnus trending on Twitter and I was like, oh, and I thought it was about Warhammer 40k and I was like, oh no, it's still about chess.
No, and in addition to that, you did get Warhammer news this week, so no complaining about you.
No complaining about that for you.
Like, your Warhammer stuff came, it just wasn't trending because nobody really cared about it.
So that's your cross to bear.
Yeah.
So we'll run through this real quick because Elle doesn't like talking about Alex Jones.
Alex Jones, in another delaying tactic, put his company into Chapter 5 federal bankruptcy.
That means the federal court is looking at it.
He is not cooperating with it, so the judge in bankruptcy court also, this bankruptcy did not delay Any of the trials that he wanted to.
But the judge said, someone else is going to have to come in and run InfoWars because they won't cooperate with this bankruptcy.
And they said they're bankrupt, and then Jones most recently just spent $80,000 on a security detail for his trip to Connecticut.
No one fucking cares about physically attacking Alex Jones.
His security detail in Austin was this fucking seven-man detail, and it was a farce.
They were just role-playing, checking doors and everything, and no one showed up to that trial except for the people involved and some, like, fans of the podcast Knowledge Fight.
So uh yeah that that's just what's going on with that and it is great and hilarious and he he is really getting he's extra getting around getting to the finding out part of fucking around so there he goes there's Alex Jones second yeah he uh basically uh yeah he Infowars is being put into a conservership is basically like the thing like someone else is going to run Infowars that has nothing to do with Alex like his chief financial officer and him and his lawyer have been removed from the case like neutral parties are going to see this because
Basically what Alex has done is he has shell corporations that are owned by his family or other people that he knows and he's claiming I'm broke and I owe money to them and like but they work for him also so it's basically he put himself in federal bankruptcy court to try to get out from under L, do you want to tell us about the MTG kick?
he's facing and he may end up actually having committed big boy crimes that may actually result in like criminal
charges.
So he might not end up owing just like 10s of millions of dollars and all these lawsuits. He might actually get
charged with fraud. So fuck that guy. He deserves all of it.
L do you want us to want to tell us about the MTG kick? I briefly
saw this.
Yeah, I mean, I don't know a ton about it.
I was hoping that Mike had heard a little more about it, but I guess some young liberal ne'er-do-well was allegedly impeding MTG's forward motion, and MTG responded with a wee little kick, but when you go to the tape, was it a wee little kick?
It is hard to tell.
It's very much like an NFL Zapater film situation like so we're gonna go down to our
ref on the sidelines Mike rains Mike Yeah, was it was there forward was the forward motion on
the kick?
So basically what happened was is MTG is walking along and all these people are
Hovering around her holding up their iPhones getting tape of her and
And one of these people, Marina Pecoria, I hope I didn't butcher her name too much.
She works for a group called Voters Tomorrow, and they are basically about getting youth rights and getting young people to turn out and vote.
And she was one of the people that was videotaping MTG and she was standing in front of her and there's like a stumble between the two of them and then suddenly you just see Marina like hopping away from her and she's just like you just kicked me and like MTG just sort of looks at her in the standard kind of like weird way that MTG looks at the universe and I genuinely feel like it's a little bit above.
is that none of the video actually shows their legs where the kick would have happened.
So it's like, was it malicious?
Was, were they just too close and they bumped into each other?
Whatever the situation is, it's like, I loathe to give MTG the benefit of the doubt for anything,
but this is a weird gray area sort of situation where- I genuinely feel like it's a little bit above.
I think, having only briefly watched the video, I don't think she kicked her,
but I don't think she got out of her way either.
So, like, I don't think she assaulted this girl, but, uh, I think it's, uh, what was it, the Steelers coach?
When he, like, had his foot over the sideline and he's like, I wasn't paying attention.
And it's like, I guess you fuckin' were.
I think it's basically the same situation.
See, I don't know what video you guys saw, but in the video I saw, our protagonist here runs up with her cell phone, and then MTG gives her a full-on Tatsu.
Straight from Street Fighter 2, full-on hurricane kick, just directly, since they're flying backwards in slow motion, John was directing it, doves are flying everywhere.
It was pretty obvious to me.
Yeah.
Hey, that seems... I can buy that.
I can accept that we may have gotten a different recording than you did.
So if what you're saying is what you saw, then who am I to judge?
Who am I to question?
I mean, the footage I saw made it very clear, but you may not see the footage.
It's secret footage.
Hey, that's that's how you start religions.
It's awesome.
It's very good.
All of it's incredible.
Yeah, this is going to be a weird one once it gets going.
I mean, that's some of our core tenet.
Yes.
We're built around this fantasy where Marjorie Taylor Greene gave a hurricane to some lady.
That's what it's all about.
Upon this rock, we shall build our church.
They're in charge of incredible bizarreness.
They're in charge of MTG Tatsu, obviously.
MTG is a cartoon character as it is, so... We can talk about cartoonish MTG all day, but unfortunately we have to talk about another cartoonish buffoon in what is probably going to be our whole goddamn news segment.
It's time for Q's in the News.
From the digital headlines to the digital front lines, it's Q's in the News.
I have it written here in our pre-show notes, it's all Trump shit all the way down.
Mike, where do you want to start?
Let's start with the breaking news that we have, which is that Tish James, the New York Attorney General, has filed a civil lawsuit for a quarter of a billion dollars against the Trump Corporation and personally Donald Trump and his family.
Uh, so basically this is the fact that the Trumps were playing fast and loose with the value of their properties.
And when they needed it to go up, they would inflate the price.
And then when they needed it to go down for tax breaks, they would reduce the price.
So they've been cooking their books for literally forever.
And finally, the New York attorney general is just like, fuck you.
That's illegal.
You can't do that.
So they're asking for that giant chunk of change.
And they're also asking that the Trump family not be allowed to run any businesses in New York for forever.
They want to just exile them from New York for their crimes on top of getting them for I mean, I feel like this is more fucking around and finding out, like...
Yeah.
And we'll see.
It depends on what comes of it.
Even if it's a favorable outcome, it's not going to come down the pipeline for what, like 10 years?
Because all the people involved just have enough money that they could just keep it in the gears for just a hundred millennia.
Well, even if he was guilty, Donald Trump's dead now, so who cares?
Because it's the year 2040 and he was an old man to begin with.
Well, I mean, this might make Melania and Don Jr.
and Eric sad.
I mean, Ivanka and Jared Kushner have their Saudi blood money, so they're sad.
I mean, don't get me wrong, it's certainly good news.
The Queen dying gave Donald Trump a five-day reprieve for being the biggest thing in headlines,
but now she's in the ground.
And as soon as that happened, it's just like, oh yeah, by the way, here's this huge blockbuster
lawsuit against Donald Trump and his kids.
It's for a lot of money.
Yeah.
And the kicker on all of this was that A.G.
James said that she was like, by the way, I think I've found criminally prosecutable
things he's done.
And I've referred that to the Southern District of New York and the IRS.
So they can give a looky-loo at the shady tax bullshit that Trump did and see if that's
My God, isn't this the Cabal in action?
Dark Brandon striking again?
It definitely is.
Oh, Dark Brandon throwing all kinds of haymakers.
We're attacking Trump from all angles.
He doesn't know where the next punch is coming from.
He can't be stopped.
I mean, that's cool.
It's another...
Like, it's just like with Epstein and Weinstein.
Like, they were untouchable until they weren't.
It's just gonna take a preponderance of legal action coming at them from all directions for it to finally tip the scales.
And, I mean, yeah, rich people are above a certain amount of the law.
Uh, so hopefully it catches up with them and their actual consequences in this.
It's a good sign.
It's definitely showing.
And everybody, I think, knows that they probably would have kept getting away with this ridiculous bullshit in New York if he had never run for and become president.
Like, he got in everyone's shit and a lot of people started paying a lot more attention to him.
Oh yeah.
He definitely decided to turn a nice big spotlight on himself when he decided, I want to be the center of American politics, like literally forever.
And that was unfortunately a thing that we are still dealing with.
Oh, and will be for decades.
Oh yeah.
It is wild that like Trump is not the president.
Like that's like a kind of a thing that you kind of have to remind yourself of yet.
He's still the main character of American politics.
It's just as super frustrating thing where it's just like.
He won't go away.
The Republican Party is still beholden to him.
In perpetuity, we have this dumb asshole who exists only to try to destroy our nation.
And no matter what's going on, that's just it.
Half of America is just beholden to the guy.
To this day, Someone walks into my casino, like, basically every day wearing a Let's Go Brandon hat or t-shirt or something.
They just have to let us know that, like, I'm part of that movement that's just dumb and angry all the time and just mad at the world.
When you see those people, you should just point at them and just be like, Dark Brandon, yeah!
I love Dark Brandon.
Just to see if they're befuddled or confused.
God, yeah, yeah.
I need to be allowed to be confused.
I can synchronize them at work.
Use your position of power to antagonize your clientele.
Yeah, I need to wear a tie that's just a dark brand that just has Joe with the laser eyes on it, and I'm just like, and people are like, what the fuck is your tie about?
I'm like, dark branded, you know what it's about.
The laser beams represent liberal legislation.
Every time I see a Let's Go Brandon anything, it's just like, are you afraid to say fuck?
Like, it's fine.
If you just want to say fuck Joe Biden, you can do that, my dude.
No one's going to stop you as long as you don't declare violence against him.
You can say fuck the president all you want.
It's not illegal.
It's not cool to say let's go Brandon.
You're not, you're not fooling anyone except for my mom who I had to explain let's go Brandon to.
She's like, what's the let's go Brandon?
I was like, Oh, well, see, you didn't know you're like, you're, you're winning the game.
You're ahead of me.
Yeah.
I don't know right-wing lingo nonsense for profanity against the president.
Oh, no.
So, I mean, I love that they think it's this, like, witty little code.
They're such clever little boys.
It's adorable.
I mean, but you could really take the temperature of American politics by someone's enthusiasm for Brandon.
Yes!
What level is your enthusiasm for Brandon at?
Are you just like, uh, like, just sit back and watch Brandon do his thing, or are you like, yo, let's go, Brandon?
Yeah.
Hey, Brandon, get it done.
You can do this, Brandon.
I believe in you.
You're so great.
It is really powerfully ridiculous about all of that.
So Godspeed to New York lawsuit, one of the trillion legal events that Trump is dealing with right now.
Let's go, Moloch!
Let's go, Moloch!
So in Moloch news, Trump's special master for the documents that he fucking stole, that they declared he has to pay for the special master, the Trump side of it, the government.
They're like, if you want this, fine, we'll do it.
We shouldn't, but we will.
But you, Trump, have to pay for it.
And it's $250 million.
Yeah.
And now the special master has said, OK, Like, everything here is classified per the government.
So you need to prove to me, the special master that you had appointed, that this isn't declassified.
And you're not doing that.
So prima facie, this is all classified as it was originally said.
So that's just where we are.
Like, they've declared it classified and They have yet to prove that it's not in the Special Masters.
Like, okay, well... It's classified.
That's it.
That's the... That's how it is.
Like, there's nothing else to it.
It's been very weird.
Like, he made this play, and it's just... It's stalled.
It's done that much.
But it is not accomplishing anything else.
Yeah.
So the Trump, the Trump side of the thing about like special masters, like, Hey, the government said this is classified and I don't have any reason to believe it's not classified.
The Trump, the Trump lawyers were like, well, we're not going to make any arguments vis-a-vis declassification because that might impact our ability to mount a legal defense down the line.
So.
It's really awesome when your lawyers are like, we can't tell you if he did the secret declassification or not, because that might be the bullshit we come up with when we go to trial for this shit, and we don't want to blow that now, because if we go for the secret declassification in front of you, the special master, when this isn't, like, Yeah, they need to keep the fact that Donnie Trump's got declassified vision, and anything in his field of vision is automatically declassified.
That's going to be their special secret evidence that they produce at trial, and it's really going to turn everything around for them.
That sham doctor that said he was an Adonis when he got into the White House, they're going to bring it back to say that he's got DC vision, which is declassified vision.
Declassified vision.
It rolls off the tongue.
Oh, it really does.
It's real smooth.
Yeah, I mean, it's just another like Trump and his campaign and his whole organization has just been playing legal Jenga for like over a decade now.
It really feels like they're running out of moves.
Oh, this has been Calvin Ball the whole time.
I mean, basically the only person who's thrown him over the life raft in this whole thing is Judge Cannon, who has been as corrupt and ridiculous a judge as you can imagine.
She even put it in the notice for the special master that like the special master kind of serves at her pleasure.
And if she wants to dismiss him for any fucking reason, she can.
So the fact that Deary, the special master is actually holding Trump's feet to the fire.
I mean, she might throw him out within the week.
She might be like, hey, you, this isn't, we were supposed to kid glove this shit.
I'm on, I'm on Trump's payroll, goddammit.
You can't be doing this to my boy.
She might kick him out.
She's like, uh, we need a new master.
Uh, an even more specialer master.
Yes.
We need the specialist master of all in order to, in order to keep my, my, my boy, my, my orange God, my God emperor out of, uh, the pokey.
Cause, uh, When this happened, when she pulled all this bullshit, everyone was like, oh my god, this is terrible.
She's running out the clock for him.
She's obstructing for him.
And then the special master just walks in and he's just like, nope, fuck you, you idiot.
So it's like, oh shit, what's gonna be their next stalling tactic?
What's gonna be their next way to try to fucking keep this bullshit rolling?
Because on top of this, They have the appeal before the 11th Circuit Court, which some people have said is a nutty Trump court.
But the question is, is it nutty enough to follow the shit Cannon is doing?
Or are they going to be like, you know, one magistrate judge in Florida Doesn't rise to the level of the President when it comes to power in our country.
So that's the thing.
It's very possible the 11th Court's like, you know, she's crazy.
Her motions are dismissed and we're going to go back to reality here.
And so basically there's a lot of ways Trump can lose here and not a lot of ways he can win is what's looking at the moment.
Nice try, Dark Brandon, but you forgot to take into account one thing.
My DC vision.
Damn it.
I always forget about the declassification.
If only Dark Brandon had reclassification vision.
If only they had given him that upgrade.
Unfortunately, Dark Brandon's cyborg eyes were only used to read his HUD screen to give him the answers at the debate.
My God, Trump's right!
These documents are coming to declasserase!
Son of a bitch.
Get me Spider-Man.
Oh my god.
So what's the next piece of Trump and his wacky adventures?
I mean, certainly he couldn't have held a QAnon rally or whatever, right?
That sounds crazy.
He's done so much in the past week I literally forgot about.
I have the headlines in front of me.
The thing that's so frustrating is I literally looked at our past few show titles and it's like Trump goes QAnon, Trump goes full QAnon, Trump and QAnon get a room and make tender love to each other.
It's just this endless, like every headline we post for the title of the show is just Trumpin' QAnon, knockin' boots again, they're doin' it, it's happenin'!
I bet that's gonna be real scintillating if you're a new listener to the podcast, you go to our page and it's just fuckin' 12 episodes, almost identical title.
Yeah, I know, I look like one of those shitty YouTube grifters that only talks about, like, one thing for an entire week.
Like 20 videos, but.
Oh yeah, it's just 20 videos.
The vaccine more dangerous than we thought.
Yeah.
They got like the startled look on their face with like a crying baby behind them.
I gave Brie Larson an M&M's self.
Yeah, just, oh yeah, all of these things.
The new Adam Levine texts!
Who cares?
Hey!
Hey, everyone?
Who cares?
Like, are you his wife?
Then who gives a shit?
I mean, what are we talking about here?
I care that he's really bad at sexting, but- Also, he is, and has been for like 30 years, like, a rock star.
I mean, love him or hate him, that is his job.
So, uh, yeah.
Me think he'd cheat with wife a bit.
Just a skosh.
And I don't feel too bad stereotyping rock stars in such a fashion.
It turns out Rockstar is not a protected class of people.
So anybody who thinks that might be hidden below the belt, I can't punch down to people that make like $40 million a year.
I'm always punching up at those clouds, so let's just say, if you're a Rockstar, I think you're cheating on your significant other.
My default setting is, you are cheating on Yeah.
Your partner.
She's like, oh no!
Rockstar have sex with woman!
What?
Headline!
HuffPo!
Make headline now!
Me need see!
Right under Trump $250 million lawsuit.
Adam Levine text.
Tell me.
And right next to like an incredibly specific opinion piece.
God, fucking some days I log into HuffPo and I'm just like, what am I doing?
Like, oh, how have I not reconfigured my brain to go to like AP News first?
I could do the liberal filtering just fine, thank you.
Hell, do you know Bam Margera is not in a conservatorship?
He's in a guardianship?
I was too busy reading the opinion piece where it's just like, My quadriplegic furry husband died in a car accident during the pandemic and now I'm great at cooking and I don't know what that means.
And I'm just like, who is this for?
No one, I guess?
Uh, so anyways, they're steering us back into the gaping maw of Hellworld.
No!
I will continue to dunk on HuffPo!
Trump read his whole crew in Ohio in Nazi salutes.
They have a special salute now, right?
Okay, so, oh god, the fucking salute thing is making me just rip what tiny hair I have on top of my head out.
It's so enraging.
I mean, how do you feel about the fact that they stole it from The Hunger Games?
Is it like the same thing?
It's almost.
The Hunger Games I thought was like three fingers.
This is like one finger.
Which is also the salute of ISIS.
Like ISIS and the one finger was their act.
So, this is...
This is what happened is Trump gave his dumb rally and he played this song and the song, I believe like the official title of the song is mirrors.
And the problem with the song mirrors is that it is identical.
Basically it sounds like someone stole the song and just renamed it.
And it's what the stolen renamed version of the song is WWG1 WGA.
Which is the QAnon slogan, where we go one, we go all.
Which is not from the film.
Which is found in a bell that's on JFK's boat, right?
If I recall correctly.
Right, exactly.
Exactly, 100% correct.
The boat that he was in when he was assassinated in Dealey Plaza.
Yes!
From that weird movie that was, I don't know, fine?
Surprisingly good.
Handed it to QAnon.
Aside from just being about a bunch of white men, it didn't really have anything to do with QAnon.
I didn't know it was based on a true story until the very end.
I was like, man, this story is oddly paced.
Anyway, stay on target.
So Trump and his friends have a weird... So they have this weird song, and the thing is, if you hold up Shazam to the song, it will tell you the song's name is The Where We Go One, We Go All.
It will not tell you that it's Mirrors.
So what happens was...
The first time this happened, it was just kind of a weird thing.
Trump ends his speech by having the song play under him while he talks about how much America has turned to shit under Biden.
The first time he did it, QAnon got their jimmies rustled and everyone was very happy that he was giving them a little shout out.
He did it again and now they're like, Oh my God, Trump's totally pilled.
Like now this is an actual staple of his rallies where he plays our song under the finish of his speech.
And while this was happening this time, uh, there's really no, people are trying to suss out why it happened.
But at some point the crowd just started holding up one arm in the air with, with their, with one finger in the air, not the middle finger, obviously, hilariously, not the finger I would have used is the running joke on Twitter, but everyone's just holding one hand, one arm in the air, one finger in the air.
And it created this very creepy cult like aesthetic where you just see this large crowd of people all making the same gesture.
In reverence to Trump and exactly why they did that is unknown.
What was super fucking annoying was I was seeing people online being like, and then the crowd started holding up their arms and pointing one finger to the sky.
A gesture used by QAnon.
And it's like, no, this is not a QAnon gesture.
They never talked about this being a thing they did.
However, the moment it fucking happened, QAnon immediately co-opted it.
They stole it for themselves the second it happened.
I believe you mean Anon.
There's Q and there's Anon.
Fuck you, you fucking QDrop4881 quoting sack of shit.
I love people who do that.
I love them.
There's only Anon.
And they hold up one finger because they like Donald Trump.
I mean, we keep titling the episodes Trump Gets More QAnon because he is.
Every time we think he's like, well, this is it, he's all the way QAnon, he somehow does something more QAnon-y.
But guys, it's time for us to move on to Trump Gets More QAnon and start labeling our videos Trump Still QAnon.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yeah, pretty much.
It'd be great.
Adventures of the World, episode 400.
Trump's still QAnon, guys.
He's still doing it.
He's still doing it.
We're like three years in and it's still happening.
It's just this thing where Trump is just so desperate to be loved that no matter who it is that loves him, he'll just love them back.
And he just and all he knows about QAnon is that they love him.
That's it.
Like, he doesn't understand the whole thing that he's supposed to kill all the liberals.
He's like a dumb puppy who had nuclear codes for four years.
Right.
Yeah, exactly what he is.
It's like so ridiculous that like this is where we are with this guy.
And my favorite part about all of this is that CNN, like basically all the mainstream
media is just like that song that Trump played is a QAnon song.
And it's a massive dog whistle for this group of people who believe this.
Psychotically, aggressively, anti-American, anti-democracy belief system.
Who have shown themselves to be very violent.
Yes, the last episode we had to cover a murder that was committed because of QAnon.
So this is all happening where the media is reporting on it.
And then you go to a Trump spokesperson and they are like, we don't know what you're talking about.
It's a royalty free song that everyone loves.
And we just downloaded it and played it for the rallies.
This is not a QAnon dog whistle.
It's all fake news.
So like, and, uh, they're playing it as though it's just, we're not doing what we were obviously doing within what the media is calling us out for, which makes me laugh because if the point of this shit was to pill everybody, shouldn't Trump just be loud and proud about it?
Shouldn't he just be like, yeah, I love QAnon.
I'm with you guys.
We're all bros.
But his people have talked to him and like, obviously they haven't stopped him from retweeting QAnon, but he, he himself hasn't like typed in anything like directly.
Like, quoting them.
So that's like the thin line, that's like the last level of connection that we haven't crossed yet.
The thin Q line?
Yes.
Oh, nice.
Nice!
Sarge!
Delivering!
Coming up clutch when we need it the most.
Yeah.
It's not delivery, it's a disargy!
Clearly, this is a dangerous turn because Trump was sending this dog whistle out to just a packed house, standing room only, people swinging from the rafters, absolutely mobbed.
Uh, that's not true.
It was very empty.
No.
It was a standing room only if you wanted to stand pretty much right in front of the stage where there was still, like, a decent amount of room.
Do we have numbers?
Like, I know they always inflate who's gonna be there, but the pictures don't lie.
that he had a factabolic close.
According to Donald Trump himself, 1.2 million people attended that rally.
Oh, oh.
Everything Trump posts is about how the house was packed, there were people lined up outside begging to get in,
but they couldn't get in.
Pay attention to all that photographic evidence.
Oh, do not!
Oh, God.
Who do you trust more, Donald Trump or your lying eyes?
That's the real question here.
I mean, it's just so wild that this is...
Where we're at with this guy that he's just, he's just basically just going to create a whole different reality for his audience.
And they're just going to buy into it.
There's gonna be like, yeah, we hate the actual real world that we live in.
We want to live in Trump world where he's the most popular, beloved, greatest person in the history of God's green earth.
And we're just blessed to be following him.
And that's why we're.
Holding up the one finger at his rallies while he plays music that celebrates us, his nutty followers.
It's great.
I mean, all joking aside, it is kind of dangerous that now what these rallies are starting to morph into are Donald Trump speaking to a small but incredibly, like, zealous group of weird, culty Like, Q would not devout, you know what I mean?
If he wanted to, man, he could make one hell of a cult.
He could just step over that line.
It turns out that there's more than one Q line.
They're all over the place.
Yeah, I mean, he's like... QAnon has always been like the Trump cult.
He's like their... him and Q are their leading figures, and... Yeah, but now he's coming down from on high to talk to these people at rallies.
So weird.
He sure is, and Q... I'm gonna go ahead and say still hasn't posted in almost two years.
So, oh, hey, Q really wanted to yell at that lady who talked about Trump having a little
spaz fit in the limo.
He was, when Q saw like, oh, Trump had a tantrum in the limo, you lying bitch, there's no way
that happened.
But Trump getting raided, the FBI attacking Mar-a-Lago, this lawsuit that just happened,
Q deathly silent on all these fronts.
But the story about the limo and the tantrum, Q was clacking on those keys right quick.
He had to get over there and let us know what's going on.
I'm gonna need our returning Q-drops to be a little more substantive for me to count it.
And probably a little less transparently, obviously, coming from Jim Watkins.
Yeah, that also!
Jim Watkins wearing like a paper plate with Q drawn on it over his face, just being like, Hey guys, it's me!
Everyone's favorite Deep Ops guy, Q!
And I've got some stuff to say!
Unquestionably the dumber of the two Watkins.
Yes.
Oh my god.
Yeah, at least Rod had the decency to fuck off.
He was taking somebody else, he was just like, Australia for me.
And like, immediately, that's a strong ripcord to pull.
Where you're just like, fuck it, relocate to Australia.
Not that Australia's terrible or anything, but it's just sort of like, off the grid.
You feel?
It's like, tucked away in that like, bottom quarter of the world, as it were.
I've seen maps.
It's a quarter.
Right.
There is an allegation that he may be back in America, but that has not been confirmed.
Has he upgraded his Wagyu hat to a Crocodile D hat?
Oh, that'd be awesome.
Doesn't he have a standing warrant out for not appearing before Congress?
Not that I know of, no.
But we'll find out.
Yeah, in the end, like, Jim and Ron Watkins don't matter as much anymore.
Unless Q starts really coming back and ramping up and being like, get out the guns!
More violence!
Those two idiots just don't matter at all anymore.
The one last thing I was going to bring up about this.
So this rally generates all these articles about QAnon.
like what Trump is getting us into and what QAnon is all about.
And QAnon promoters are just like screaming and yelling, hey, we are not violent.
We are we are all about peacefulness and like doing things by the book
in the right way.
But then like we're just a peaceful research movement, man.
Yeah.
But the thing is, at the end of these little tirades about how we don't want
violence, we just want we want peace, we want justice.
And by the way, what we think of as peace and justice is all our
enemies being convicted of treason in military tribunals and then executed.
Like, back when Q existed and was posting, He was obsessed with hanging people.
It was one of the main things that Q just couldn't get over was the idea of all the bad guys, all the evil liberals being hung.
And that was what was going to happen to them.
When the Jesse Smollett hoax happened, that was timed around the same time as when they finally got the anti-lynching hate crime bill through Congress and passed into law.
Which was something that we were trying to do for like a hundred years, but apparently America, apparently Congress in America was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, saying lynching is bad.
That's, that's a step too far.
We here in America's Congress, we gotta, we gotta take the temperature of the room and see if America is really anti-lynching.
Um, but, but Q was just like, you know why they're doing this?
Because they're trying to get away with not being hung after they're convicted of treason.
And it's like, yo Q, I know you're a super secret spy who works with Donald Trump and has all kinds of insider intelligence, but capital punishment where the form of death is hanging is not lynching.
They are not the same thing.
This is not outlying hanging as a way to execute people for a capital crime.
Also, guns still exist.
Right.
Like before Trump left office, I think they reauthorized firing squads as a form of, uh, capital punishment.
Like, like there's a, like, do you guys really need hanging instead of lethal injection?
Like, why do you care the method of killing people?
Because you're violent and you're bloodthirsty and you want to see someone hung, like someone just laying on a gurney and then being like, just going to sleep effectively.
It doesn't give them the dopamine hit that they were looking for.
Like they're just obsessed with it.
And it's like, no, you actually are violent because I have this really shocking idea that if you, if we did things by the book and tried Hillary Clinton for treason and she got acquitted because the evidence wasn't good enough, you wouldn't accept that result.
You'd be a literal, you'd be probably throw a little fit.
You'd be like, no, she did do the treason rigged deep state.
It's like, no, no.
It's like fucking Biden said.
We have one side that accepts the results of the elections and one side that every time they lose, they scream, cheat.
And that's just not how things are supposed to work.
But they're like a plucky group of rebels, man.
It's like Star Wars.
Yes.
That's why we got that new Star Wars show, Andor.
It's just like Star Wars.
I mean, there's never been a more clear parallel.
That's why Star Wars fans are always so up in their feelings when a woman or a person of color ends up in a position of having, you know, any story agency in those movies.
They're just like, what the F?
It's supposed to be white men and people in alien costumes!
That's why when the prequels came out it was clear allegory about the Bush administration lying about WMDs so you can raise an army and start a war.
Do you think your average racist Star Wars fan, because we now know there are a lot of them, they all came out of the woodwork during the sequel trilogy, do you think that they've always just assumed that Chewbacca is like A white guy under the fur?
Or do you think that just like all aliens get a pass?
Cause I have to imagine they love Chewbacca because he doesn't have the audacity to be female.
Yeah, or an ethnicity that they can recognize.
But they don't know!
So that would be because he's covered in brown fur.
So, like, and I don't know, like, if you see a lot of dogs where they're shaved all the way down, they're like, definitely not white.
They're like, gray.
It's gross.
They're also dogs, and don't really.
But I'm just saying, like, is Chewbacca closer to a Star Wars racist?
Is Chewbacca closer to a dog, or closer to a Caucasian man?
Probably, I mean, Caucasian man.
You'd have to ask them what race they think Piccolo from Dragon Ball Z is, too.
I mean, I feel like if they intend on enjoying the show, they just have to be like, he's an alien man, he's green, or whatever.
Yeah.
Don't worry about it, shut up!
Don't put politics in my shows!
Unless it's politics I can get mad about.
Then I'm gonna let you know about it real quick.
The Venn diagram of racist Star Wars fan and racist DBZ fans is basically a circle.
Yup.
I mean, it turns out that, unfortunately, racism gets into almost everything.
It's like sand.
And I don't like sand.
It's coarse, and it gets everywhere.
It's still funny after all these years.
Man, what an incredible screenplay.
What writing.
So good.
That joke kills.
And not just the men either, but the women.
And the children.
Oh my god, do we have any more terrible news?
Oh god, do we have?
Oh, we have all kinds of terrible news.
Well, we have good news and we have terrible news.
We have, uh, Ukraine continuing to beat Russian ass and, uh, Vladimir Putin today declared a partial mobilization.
300,000 troops.
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah.
Like I, I'm sure that like, I've been reading the stories about the incredible training Russian troops are getting where it's like, here's your rifle from world war one.
Now go to the front line and get blown up by a Himars America just sent to the Ukrainians.
I love how that sounds like it's really bulking up the forces, but I mean, assuming that their casualty rates are being underrepresented, it might just be like replenishing what they've lost.
It might just be like, hey, we need 300,000 more able-bodied men to come to the front line, because we have lost 300,000 of those already.
And their generals keep dying, either on the front, because they don't have any security, or when they get back home, they fall out a window.
Yeah.
Or into the ocean.
Sometimes they fall into the ocean.
All these things are possible, yes.
You can fall so many places and die in Russia, it's a very tricky place to be on your feet.
Yes.
We're always talking about how slippery it is in Russia.
Oh, and we're getting close to winter so it's going to be especially icy and those windows are going to be especially tempting.
It's just the way of living in Russia.
If you have a meeting and it's above the second floor, if you're at all nervous, don't take the meeting.
Do not go.
You imagine, oh my god, every single interaction with top level Russian officials at this point must be like a spy movie.
Like somebody comes in and like pours them a glass of water and then they're just like staring at it.
You drink it first.
Like pulling it tight on their face and like a bead of sweat is trailing down them.
And then somebody else takes a sip of it and they're like, oh my god.
And then they sigh heavily and then they go to wipe their sweat with their handkerchief but they're looking at it and they're just like...
Oh my god, is there ricin on this?
Am I gonna die?
All those Russian millionaires, they keep seizing all our yachts, and they're just like, that's fine.
You can keep them.
They're very tall and on water.
Russian mansions are just one level, just sprawling.
It's like a ranch house, but it takes up like four blocks.
Yeah, it's very, very long.
Okay, so, yeah, Russia's getting skunked at the moment, which is great, and briefly we should probably touch upon all of the checks, notes, human trafficking that DeSantis and others are doing.
Mike, what's up with this human trafficking?
Oh, so, yeah, our boy Ron DeSantis, who's trying to, like, he's going for the gold medal in the Cruelty Olympics that he knows Trump is never going to give him.
Like, I just, he decided to send some immigrants to Martha's Vineyard and the truly sick part of this is that they weren't even immigrants from Florida.
They found these immigrants in Texas and then I believe got them to Florida and then sent them to Martha's Vineyard from there.
So it's this bizarre interstate immigrant trafficking scam, which all kinds of people on the internet have talked about the particulars of if this violates federal law or not.
what kind of shit were they doing?
Yes.
If this is only a civil crime or a criminal crime.
Well, they're currently being sued in a class action lawsuit.
Oh yeah, yes.
Three of the immigrants have already filed a class action lawsuit against the Santos for-
They shipped him to an island full of lawyers.
Yes, oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, like this is...
And my favorite part of all of this shit is just, again, this dual reality that we live in
where what really happened was these Venezuelan immigrants arrive
in Martha's Vineyard unannounced.
People find out about this and are horrified.
They begin helping these people any way they can.
The Republican governor of Massachusetts mobilizes the National Guard to move them to an actual place that can give them long-term shelter.
And pretty much everyone works in solidarity to help these people who have been fucked over by prick Republican governors trying to score cheap political points in the citizen's case for running for president in 2024.
And, like, that's what actually happened.
But if you look at the right-wing world, it's like, oh, Libs owned racist Martha's Vineyard kicks immigrants out because liberals are hypocrites who hate immigrants and minorities and are racist scum.
And when push comes to shove, they're just terrible people.
The unspoken end of that sentence is, like us.
Like, basically, hey, we're racist, but it's okay, because deep down inside, liberals are also racist.
So, we get a pass on that, right?
It's just wild that like the response they were supposed to get, which was when people were like, Oh no, immigrants are in our town.
So gross.
It didn't happen.
Not in a million years that it happened, but they're just going to run with it.
They're just going to pretend that was the reaction.
They're just going to pretend that Martha's Vineyard turned its back on these immigrants and did nothing with them.
And then it had the, had the military step in and swoop them away.
Cause that's how all rich white people handle immigrants.
And.
It's really telling that that's the angle they're playing this on because... And also, it's not like they're stuck on the island.
They will get the immigrants to like, you know, to mainland Massachusetts.
And I'm sure that there are a bunch of places in Massachusetts that are going to be perfectly willing to take in these people.
And also, not for nothing, there's a labor shortage.
So you're just sending like 400 potential new workers into a market.
that needs new workers, like I'm sure a lot of places might just be like,
absolutely! Like, let's go!
Yeah, and they, I'm pretty sure they have the documents that they gave these people to trick them
onto these flights where they promised them housing and jobs and
permanent citizenship.
Yeah, it was like expedited work papers or something.
Some of them said they were being promised.
The legality of it is nonsensical.
Hopefully, we'll get to circle back to this one once the lawsuit goes in favor of these Unfortunate people that were literally waylaid across multiple state lines and then flown over multiple states to Martha's Vineyard of all places.
Yeah.
And I think my favorite thing, oh God, I keep saying that, what a crutch phrase I'm using, but I saw an article about, apparently they were going to do it again today, where they were going to send immigrants to Delaware to try to give Biden the razzle dazzle.
And it was like, the headline was like, Punk'd!
Flight goes to New Jersey instead of Delaware as DeSantis keeps Democrats off balance.
And it's just like NBC News, pro-human trafficking, pro-cruelty.
Thinks this bullshit is savvy politics.
Yeah, way to get him DeSantis.
Way to trick immigrants into thinking they're getting jobs and sending them to other states where they're like now they have no support systems and are fucked and have to like basically hope the state will take care of them, which they will because that's what blue states do, but still.
You could write an article, DeSantis, monstrous piece of shit.
Why is Florida going to reelect him as governor?
Get your heads out of your asses, you dumb pricks.
Yeah.
It's like, also, if you're a resident of Florida, I salute your elected officials use of your money.
Yes.
Your taxpayer money, get it going to stuff like this.
Quite nice.
I'm sure your schools and all that stuff are doing just fine.
And I hear that the price of fuel is actually super cheap right now.
So definitely, definitely just be flying people around the country all willy nilly.
To own some libs, I guess, or whatever.
Good stuff.
Speaking of good stuff, let's roll right along into our mailbag segment and get to our swollen bag.
Our listeners got questions, we got answers.
It's time for Q and A.
Yes, our bulging, wet, swollen bag.
Yeah, this was just for Sarge who I could see on camera shaking his head.
Yes, that's the reaction I wanted.
Okay, moving on.
It's a regular bag.
It's dry and filled with a few letters.
So Pancake Peasant asks, what is the deal with conservatives ragging on about part machine stuff?
And there's a photo of someone from CPAC talking about human and part machine, and then they show the trans flag with a robot person in front of it.
Do they think trans means transhumanism?
Do they think the trans mean transformers?
Yeah, what's going on?
I think that that is a point of this is that This goes back to like the people getting chipped, barcodes being put on your hand and stuff like or forehead like the mark of the beast.
Transhumanism and cyborgs have always been a part of this kind of culture where it's a sign of Satan taking over and getting the W over God.
Where you're going to be, you're going to be implanted, you're going to be chipped, you're going to be marked.
And so this is a big part of like Christian end times prophecy.
And this, I mean, every bit of technology always, you go through this shit where barcodes were the mark of the beast.
Now QR codes were the mark of the beast.
The vaccine was the mark of the beast.
The mark of the beast is whatever new thing it is that everyone's using or everyone supposedly has to do.
It's just like the part of the system where you're just trapped in it.
And so, uh, this, this thing it's been around for forever and it will never go
away because as technology improves, probably more and more people are going
to do something involving like technology and body modification.
It's just like, there's like some businesses in Europe where it's like,
you can like, instead of having your little like badge that opens all the
doors in your building, you can get a little chip in your, in your finger
and all the doors will recognize it.
And you can just get through all the doors.
And it's like, well, this is a lot easier than opening my wallet, grabbing my wallet every time I do this.
So why not have a little chip in my finger?
And people are like, no, that's the, oh, now the devil's in you.
Now your soul can't be seen by God.
It's all over.
That's the Lord's finger.
Have you seen Demolition Man?
Dude, I want all the microchips.
I want a microchip that does everything for me.
I want a microchip that just lets me turn the lights off from bed so I don't have to get up.
I just want to think about my light turning off and then I'm just like, yes, all that complicated brain surgery was super worth it.
Lights off, please.
Think incredibly hard about light turning off.
Ah, I did it.
Nailed it.
My left eye is going to spasm for five minutes, but it's worth it.
Totally okay.
I mean, people are being, uh, people are making crazy strides in technology like that, like for, uh, prosthetics and stuff.
It's always wild when I see a new one and it's just like this, you know, like just like thought operated prosthetic arm or whatever.
It's like, that's cool as fuck.
Yep.
So you know what, stupid Republicans?
More cool transhuman shit for us libs.
Yes.
Don't worry, I'm sure that your rebellion will go extra great when all those liberals have cyborg bodies and mantis blades and shit.
Yeah!
Here comes Johnny Rib with his AR-15.
Oh, I've got dermal plating, so I'm cool.
Yeah, who would have thought that liberals would get the Mantis Blades and football in America's national divorce?
I mean... I can't wait for Monster League football.
Yes.
That'd be great.
Mutant League football.
So thank you for the question.
The Nerdy Horror Fan asks, what is the fastest spaceship?
If they were real, of course, the Millennium Falcon or the Starship Enterprise?
Oh, I don't know.
This is probably a thing that nerds have solved that we could just Google if we wanted to, right?
I mean, I don't know the math.
I don't know the math involved.
In my head, I would imagine that the Enterprise is faster because at some point, don't they go through time by going fast in the Enterprise frequently?
Well, yeah.
And also, it's kind of the argument about, I assume that Star Wars is more hyperspace, Star Trek is warp speed, which is just going faster than light.
Screen Rant has us.
Determining which spaceship is faster is almost virtually impossible, but we now know that the Falcon can travel 9,130,000 times the speed of light and the Enterprise tops out at 1,649 times the speed of light.
Boom.
And the Enterprise tops out at 1,649 times speed of light.
Boom, William Falcon by a lot.
But the ability of Falcon never travels through time.
Except for that one story where they crash and Chewbacca is Bigfoot.
Is that a thing?
That'd be great.
I didn't make that up.
It's something else.
And then a bunch of rednecks encounter him and they're just like, oh, we didn't know that Bigfoot was white.
That's cool.
Exactly.
So that is what we call a callback.
With the question being read, I thought it was going to be open-ended, and I was going to get to scratch an old itch that I haven't scratched in a while, which is fondness for the Hitchhiker's Guide for the Galaxy.
And be like, the Heart of Gold, of course!
It travels instant.
Yes.
Nothing is faster than instant.
Nope.
I would have to say the Heart of Gold does win.
The infinite improbability drive is obviously faster than everything else, because it can do anything you want.
It's just infinitely improbable.
Including, it could do like an MCU thing.
Like, you could use it to power a multi-film franchise where every property you wanted to just shows up.
Right?
Like, if Warner Brothers bought the license to The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, they could just make a movie where the dumb spaceship lets, like, a different Flash show up so they could cut ties with Ezra Miller.
It took me a while, but I found the lead to make that another topical reference.
Uh, what a genius I am.
Truly the greatest of us.
All right.
Next question.
A placeholder asks, have any influencers been docked recently?
A ghost Ezra and Patel Patriot are the last ones I recall, but I'm a casual.
Um, we haven't really had any new hotness arrive in the Q and on sphere.
Cause ghost Ezra was kind of a Johnny come lately and Patel Patriots whole
shtick is that I wasn't queuing on this whole time.
I just came up with this cockamamie de-evolution thing about how Trump's still secretly the shadow president.
Because when I saw Trump walk away and Biden get sworn in, I was very sad.
And I had to create a coping mechanism.
And now that coping mechanism is a very successful grift.
So, go me!
Shatter President sounds like a PS2 game.
Yes!
Nanomachines, bitch!
That was one of my favorites.
I loved this part of QAnon.
The whole time, Q is just like, Patriots in control.
Trump is five steps ahead of everybody.
He's so good.
He's crushing them.
And then, as the election was getting closer, and I think Ron and Jim both thought Trump was going to take the L there, I remember Q had a drop where he was like, THE SHADOW PRESIDENCY OF BARACK OBAMA!
And he was talking about how Obama was trying to undermine Trump from behind the scenes and was working to destabilize the Trump administration.
My god.
Shadow Obama.
I feel like you're toeing a line there.
Yeah, it was just so funny because it was one of those moments where you've built up the protagonist to be so super powerful that no one can stand up to them.
And then you're like, oh no, I need to make the villains seem kind of scary.
Now I gotta up the power level of the bad guys!
And it's just like, okay, great.
So is Trump still five steps ahead, or is he down to only two steps ahead?
Like, how is our unassailable hero doing vis-a-vis the great evil that he's supposed to defeat?
Does he still have that proviso in his contract, like Steven Seagal had in Under Siege 2, where he can never look bad?
Like, that movie is the funniest thing to watch.
Too late.
It literally, in the entire movie, he's just completely incapable of being hurt.
Like he gets shot and one of his sidekicks is like, you've been shot.
He's like, nah, not really.
I'm good.
Everything's good.
And it's like, man, you know, this movie would be better if Steven Seagal faced any crisis at all.
Nope.
In the contract, can't.
Have to crush everyone with contemptible ease.
Cause I'm Steven Seagal and I understand what acting is.
Acting is letting the audience know you can't possibly fucking lose.
No dramatic tension.
Well, I mean, don't both Vin Diesel and The Rock have that in their contracts, like, now?
I think, yeah.
Well, they had a thing where, like, it was in the contract with their fight scene, they had to have an equal amount of offense.
Like, neither one of them could be on the defense longer, and the fight had to end ambiguously, or either one of them could have won it.
It was just this really... I think that's part of a larger problem where Vin Diesel's, like, contract states that Dominic Toretto's, like, incapable of losing.
I think that in his contract, especially now that he's, like, producing them or whatever, like, that character just does not take L's.
He's an unstoppable W machine.
When he shows up to solve the problem, the problem is getting solved.
He's Saitama.
He just, like, shows up and, like, you know he can't lose.
So you're like, oh, okay.
I guess we'll pay attention to all the cooler characters around this cloud, because this cloud shows up and just can't lose.
Yeah.
But yeah, going back to the main thing here, because we haven't had any hot new QAnon promoters, there's really no one that's had to have been doxed.
Also, it's hard to dox people who are just getting to be open to the air with it these days.
You don't really have to hide that shit.
A lot of people in public office are just like, right on.
I agree with the crazy stuff you're saying.
JFK Jr.
might be alive.
You're right.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, uh, the guy who was the, our, one of our favorites here on the podcast.
You love that you love in the matrix and spooky groove.
We haven't talked about these clouds in a while.
Right.
But, uh, in the matrix is like aggressively rebranding himself as himself.
Like he's no longer just going by the, in the matrix, like tagline.
Uh, yeah, he, uh, if you go on truth social, he's actually Jeffrey Peterson and his tag is just in the matrix with three X's.
So, like, he's just going, real name branding, baby.
Like, just not even worrying about it.
I'm not Matrix.
I'm Jeffrey Peterson.
I'm the guy who does the Matrix show.
I mean, that's like the name of somebody who is plugged into the Matrix still.
That name is so generic as to sound pretty fake.
Yeah.
Like, hi, I'm Jeffrey Peterson.
Please say all of your racist stuff into my collar for no reason.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Now I am going to go eat human food, the way that human people do.
Excuse me.
I have to vacate my bowels and bladder.
I will return later.
I am Jeffrey Peterson.
You can't dox the Queen of Canada.
She's always on the move.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
She's very... You can't dox what you can't catch.
That's Queen shit right there.
Yeah.
So, thank you for the question.
If any new QAnon people who want to remain anonymous do pop up and get docked, we will keep you in touch.
Snorlaxcpap says, with Trump and Q officially married, what is the next act?
We have the post, the song, the debated hand gesture.
What's the next step?
Consummation.
That's why Ron's back in America.
Yes, yes.
He's coming to America.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Yeah, that's right.
That's part of it.
Yeah.
We're workshopping that one.
Yeah.
I don't like it.
Would you like to do a brief survey about the bit I just did?
I'm going to go five to outrank Sarge's one on that.
How you felt about that bit?
We're going to level that thing out to a nice crisp three.
It's going to be awesome.
I think the real question here is if Trump ever actually decides to just start talking about QAnon directly at a rally, because I don't think he will because I don't think he has it in him to freeform about QAnon and his support group is never going to put that shit in the teleprompter.
He's never going to read a QAnon JAG off the top of his head because his speechwriters and those people know that like, what we're doing right now is great.
The winking and nodding we're doing.
Oh, they're so happy.
They're so excited over it.
Everyone's just over the moon about that shit, but we got to keep We got to keep that arms distance.
We got to keep that plausible deniability going, which is again, why you had all the liberal media pointing out that he was using a QAnon song and his own spokesperson was like, fake news, lying media.
We're not using a QAnon song.
Fuck off.
So.
I think that's the main thing is, uh, I've seen a lot of QAnon people, uh, going back to the well of a thing called ask the question, because.
Back when Trump was president, I know that's a weird thing, it really happened.
Who knew?
Q had posted that if the media asked President Trump about QAnon, he would confirm its legitimacy immediately.
Like, if everyone was like, hey Trump, what's the deal with QAnon?
He'd be like, they're real and by the way, you're under arrest.
And like, cops would just run into the press pool and just grab Jim Acosta and just drag him away for treason.
So they, for years, they were like, the media is too scared to ask the question.
They know what will happen if they do.
And then during the 2020 election, someone was like, yo, Trump, what the fuck's up with QAnon?
They love you.
And it's weird because they're, they're evil sickos.
And Trump was just like, they love me and they hate pedophiles.
How bad can QAnon be?
And they're like, but you're supposed to be like the leader of QAnon or whatever.
He's like, Hey, look, all I know about QAnon is that they hate pedophiles.
They love Trump.
So, uh, I'm cool with him, but it's fine.
But yeah, so he deflected the question and that was not the answer to Q said they was going to give.
Again, Q said, they asked that question, boom, world changes.
It is just game over.
So that happened.
We went, we lived through the question.
And now QAnon's just pretending that didn't happen because Trump's so aggressively signaling them.
They're like, oh man, Trump's admitting Q is real.
The media is scared to ask him the questions or ask the question is retrending on truth social now.
And it's like, yo, we asked the question to him two years ago and he said, don't know him, but I know they like me.
So I'm cool with him.
That was that was his answer.
We've already got his answer.
He's on the record about QAnon.
He's not going to say, oh, yeah, by the way, I'm Q plus and you're arrested.
And then the media person is going to be like, but you're not the president.
You don't have any authority.
And he's like, I'm the shadow president.
You're shadow arrested.
And they're like, oh, they go to shadow jail.
It's very scary.
So they fly off in one of those like rectangles, like they're getting sent to the Phantom Zone.
Yes, exactly.
Actuarel, forgive us.
Trump jumps in.
I'm going to take the long shot bet on this.
What do I think is next?
And what I think is next is some well-meaning hacker is going to hack into the teleprompter and run burgundy Donald Trump into saying zigzag hail on stage.
And the crowd is going to be surprisingly into it.
Oh, the surprising part of that is not true for me.
I think the crowd, I'd be like, yep, that crowd's into it as much, about as much as I thought they would be.
Sounds right.
The crowd's like, we're very engaged!
It's like, yikes, guys.
Come on.
That's actual Nazi stuff.
Yeah.
I need everyone to calm down.
Reverend Xenofact asks, it feels like QAnon as a whole is getting crazier and more dangerous.
Do you agree?
And will they snap before or during or after the election?
Well, The longer the run here is, the more likely.
If Trump gets indicted, they'll snap.
If some of their favorite candidates lose, they'll snap.
If they don't win the House, oh my God, will they fucking lose their goddamn minds.
If they lose both the House and the Senate, That's there.
There will be domestic terrorism.
There's no two ways about it.
And again, 98% of QAnon ain't gonna do shit.
They're all LARPing boomers who don't have it in them.
But you preach this shit to enough people, you're gonna get some people that are capable of doing bad stuff to get the brain worms enough to do it.
Because If they lost everything, like if Kerry Lake loses running for governor, if they lose the House, they lose the Senate, other QAnon nuts don't win their elections, they're gonna look at it, they're gonna be like, all this shit's fucking rigged, we can't win an election because they've rigged it against us, the only possible solution now is violence, and that's what's gonna happen for a very small group of them, but that small group is still gonna be capable of doing some damage, so it sucks, but
This is where we're at.
I mean, literally, like when I got into QAnon, like monitoring it and reporting on it in 2018, When people were like, why are you doing this?
My answer would be because these people are going to get people killed.
That was it.
This is why I'm monitoring this shit.
Cause people are going to die as a result of it.
And not less people have died than I thought, which is great, but it's always there.
Like that threat.
It's still definitely not zero.
Right.
And it's, but it's just like, that threat is going to be there for as long as this exists.
And this isn't going away anytime soon.
So.
Yeah, they're only ramping up.
Unfortunately, Trump and Lindsey Graham are right.
If Trump gets indicted, yeah, bad news.
I've actually seen QAnon promoters being like, yeah, they know if they indict Trump, it's Civil War time, baby, and they're totally in favor of it.
And it's like, aren't you the peaceful research movement?
Yeah, but if Trump gets indicted, we're not the peaceful research movement anymore.
And it's like, oh great, wonderful.
But again, try it.
Please, do something, you stupid pricks.
It's bad.
It's just bad.
And this is why delegitimacy, just saying elections are illegitimate is a really bad way to go.
Because once you go to that level, the only possible outcome is violence.
It's the quote from JFK, those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.
Only here we gave you the chance.
We had a free and fair election.
You just happened to lose.
But because you have so many screws loose, you're like, no, that election wasn't free and fair.
It was rigged.
So now violent revolution is inevitable.
Now we got to do it.
We got to go that extra mile.
And so, yeah, it sucks that like this is a question that has to be answered.
And the answer is shitty.
So, yeah.
I really don't know what else to say about that.
I like the little Forrest Gump button on that one.
Yeah.
And that's all I've got to say about that.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yeah.
So, uh, Cleodora Silvestri, uh, right clicking.
Your name is way too long all the time, so I'm not clicking through to find out what it says.
I'm sure it's about stealing an NFT if it's right clicking involved.
Uh, Trump's special master just told him to get bent.
Who is next to practice Trump's favorite sport by throwing him under the bus?
Oh, I mean, one of his kids for sure.
Oh, the day Jared or Ivanka turn on him and just sell him down the river because they got their Saudi money, that'll be the greatest day.
Like, if Ivanka is the one that actually put the knife in his heart, that would be just so hilarious because, I mean, she's his favorite because of the whole creepy incest thing.
So, yeah.
I just love that that's the established lore.
She's the favorite because Donald Trump really just wants to put it to her.
Yes!
Hey, he's never said anything about Eric or Don Jr.
He's never been like, yeah, Don!
Don's a handsome kid.
If I were his father, I'd really be into it.
Yeah, exactly!
Eric's a 5.
Sorry, Eric.
I don't know where you got your genes from.
I don't even know if you're mine.
I mean, in his defense, there's no way he ever said that about his daughter.
That would be impossible.
That man was President of the United States.
We would never have a president who would just sort of like casually talk about incest as being a thing he might be into at some point.
I feel like hopefully the Matt Gaetz payoff happens and somehow he's got dirt on Trump or somebody like hopefully he's like a domino or whatever.
Whatever happened to that big four-headed clown?
Oh that reminds me!
Holy shit we had so much news this week that it came out that the pardon he asked for was for his fucking sex trafficking crimes that he's still being investigated for.
Like, someone was like, oh yeah, by the way, I talked to Matt Gaetz, and when he was like, oh yeah, I asked him for a pardon, and it wasn't like for 1-6 involved shit, it was for the sex crime shit.
So, Matt Gaetz, like, knows that sort of democles has been hanging over him for like half a year now, and apparently he was looking to get out from under it.
Uh, when Trump was on his way out of office, which is, like, just amazing.
That, like, that's something you do when you're totally fucking innocent.
It's like, yo!
Outgoing president!
BT dubs!
Quick pardon for the sex crimes!
Por favor!
Yeah, can I get a blanket pardon for any crimes I may have committed?
Not that I did, but if I did?
Yeah!
Anyway, let's start getting the hell out of here.
I will be the one to trigger our question... What is it?
Innumerous?
Perpetualis?
Yes.
That sounds right.
Our questionicus perpetualicus.
What are you looking forward to, Sarge?
What are you looking forward to?
I'm looking forward to Cyberpunk Edgerunners.
I've watched all ten episodes.
It's really good.
I won't spoil anything.
I didn't like the ending.
But, you know, a lot of people are talking about it, and I agree.
It is super great.
One of the best animes of the season.
It's not a high bar to clear.
Maybe next season might be a higher bar.
And it had the effect they wanted.
A bunch of people started playing Cyberpunk again.
So, good for them.
It's a good time.
If you have Netflix, give it a watch.
Weeb shit from Sarge.
Love to see it.
I'm excited for Chinese American food, which I ordered a few moments ago and will be arriving at my domicile in about 20 minutes.
And that's very exciting to me because I haven't really had much to eat today.
And also I love Chinese food.
It's quite good.
So it's going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be a fat boy today.
You can't see it, but I'm rubbing and patting my tum because it's anticipating Chinese food.
All right, Mike, how about you, bud?
Well, I'm looking forward to my weekend.
I've done a lot of work this week, so finally being able to just relax is nice.
And I'm looking forward to, on the real weekend, this upcoming is the sports ball game between the Bills of Buffalo and the Dolphins of Miami, because The two of them played really wacky games this week, and their upcoming battle will tell us a lot about if Buffalo's just going to roll everybody.
If they're going to be like the new Patriots of yore, where no one can even stay on the field with them.
Or if the plucky Dolphins with their speedy receivers and their quarterback no one really believed in but was good last week.
If they can actually hang with these brutes from the frigid north.
So that'll be a lot of fun to watch.
Let's go fish!
That's the official position of the podcast.
We all love the Dolphins, and always have.
Miami has the Dolphins, the greatest football team, as their jingle goes.
Yes, what an incredible team.
Laces out, etc.
And that's going to do it for this week of the Adventures of the Howl World podcast.
Thank you so much for listening.
It's time for us to get on our little two, well, in this case, three man paddle boats, and we're going to paddle our little swan boat out into the lake.
And far, far away from here.
Thank you for listening to the show and supporting us.
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Oh, he's made a sequel!
He has a 2,000-mule sequel to The Plot Against the King.
Oh shit, there we go.
Well, Cas will continue to write everything around me.
So you can get access to that and more for $5 or more a month.
Thank you to this week's Beautifler baby joining the crew, Denis P. It might be pronounced Dennis, but there's only the one N, so I'm inclined to lead with Denis, like Denis Villeneuve, who I also appreciate.
So thank you so much, Denis or Dennis P, for joining the crew.
Hopefully you're enjoying that bonus content.
If you've got money you don't want to give to us, you can do some good with it by donating it to love146.org.
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Let's do it.
Let's crush Republicans once and for all in 2022.
Throw your dollars into Moloch's mouth.
Thanks, as always, to DJ Minimal Effort for use of our intro song.
No social media for them.
Thanks, DJ Minimal Effort.
Regardless, here it is, out into the world.
I hope you receive it with your robot ears.
Thanks to Frosty for all of our voiceover artistry, or voice artist ovary, which is what I almost tried to say there.
Thanks for your ovaries, Frosty, even though you are male.
You can find Frosty on Twitter at FrostyFio.
You can find the show on Twitter at Hellworld, H-E-L-L-W-Q-R-L-D.
You can find me at HellworldL, with Hellworld spelled the same.
You can find Sarge at SargeatHell.
And Mike Rains is, of course, at PokerPolitics.
So for another successful episode of the Adventures of Hellworld podcast, I've been one of your hosts, the Mysterious L, joined by Hellworld Sarge and our expert in all things QAnon crazy, Mr. Mike Rains.
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