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Aug. 18, 2022 - Adventures in HellwQrld

01:38:26

Adventures in HellwQrld Episode #100: Oz, Trump, and THE PIT

On the 100th episode of the podcast, Mike, L, and Haley talk about Dr. Oz's horrible campaign ad, the conspiracy theories around Anne Heche's death. The latest GOP grifter rallies, and all the legal troubles that Trump and his inner circle find themselves in. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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	♪♪♪ Content Warning.
	The Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in depth about QAnon, which means we have to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people.
	Listener discretion advised.
	Hello, everybody.
	I am Mike Rains, a.k.a.
	Poker and Politics, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld.
	I am joined this week by Haley.
	Hello.
	The very polite hello, the quiet greeting and the mysterious L.
	That's me, babies!
	Hello!
	Classic What's Up Babies intro because this is episode 100 and we're doing it classic style.
	I don't think I introduced the world to beautiful babies for like the first, I don't know, it was like a dozen podcasts or whatever.
	It was a while.
	Yeah.
	For a while, I believe my original catchphrase was, that's me, baby.
	And that's how beautiful babies came about.
	For the people out there that may be wondering why I've been calling you beautiful babies now for like two years, it's that.
	We actually had a guy at some point ask me to tell you to stop calling them beautiful babies because it was weirding him out.
	And I was like, I remember that.
	That was pretty early.
	It was like one of our it was like right after I started doing it, that guy was just like, yeah, I love the podcast, but being called a beautiful baby is sort of weird.
	And I was just like, well, fuck you, buddy.
	One complaint out of our thousands of listeners.
	Sorry, probably not modifying that one there, friend.
	No, yeah.
	He didn't even propose a new catchphrase.
	What am I supposed to do?
	Just come up with another one?
	You think these things grow on trees?
	Yeah, why didn't you go, yeah, get him, RoboCop!
	This was before RoboCop was even considered.
	We hadn't formulated the RoboCop on the podcast.
	Right, exactly, exactly.
	Now if there was a groundswell of people that were offended by being called beautiful or babies, I suppose I could call them robot cops.
	But nobody wants to be called a cop, right?
	That's not going to work.
	Nope.
	No bueno.
	Oh, God.
	Yeah.
	Anyway, so yeah, for those candy listeners at home, what would be more appropriate for a Milestone episode, like episode 100, than Sarge not being here?
	I mean, wow.
	Like, just, like I said, we're doing it classic style, including the recurring bit of Sarge having life stuff happen and having to miss recording.
	Yes, that's the way this works.
	So instead we get a double barrel of Haley, which is most prudent, because going into the Amuse-Bouche, we have some Arizona-related amusements.
	It's time for a light sampling of insanity.
	Get ready for the Amuse-Bouche.
	So, Arizona had itself a GOP rally, if I am understanding correctly what we're to be discussing in the amuse-bouche.
	Yep.
	So, Haley, the floor is yours for the Arizona Establishment Rally, because we have more in the headlines about the non-establishment rally.
	Well, so, I don't know anything about this, so let's just say, up top, for the record, did you actually go to this thing?
	Yeah, I usually go to things.
	Yeah!
	See, I don't really know much about your whole deal.
	I don't know how plugged in you are because my gimmick is being very much not plugged in.
	So in case other people at home might not know, I felt like it was pretty important up front to just be like, hey, Hayley's pretty plugged in and actually goes to this crap.
	So you don't have to.
	Yeah, that's my thing.
	If you want to, you're not listening to this.
	Yep.
	So this was hosted by Turning Point Action, which is Turning Point USA's political arm, if you know what Turning Point USA is.
	I love the idea that Turning Point USA isn't political.
	Like, Charlie Kirk screaming about the evil libs and college indoctrination isn't political.
	We have a subsection of the political side over here.
	I mean, that's ridiculous.
	It's because Turning Point USA is a non-profit, so they're not supposed to be doing political stuff, so they literally just, like, slap action over USA.
	That's awesome.
	Yeah, to kind of get away with that.
	Yeah.
	So Charlie Kirk hosted it.
	He's annoying, as everybody knows.
	Charlie Kirk, who last podcast listeners left, was whining about, I went to bed and Trump was winning the election.
	And then I woke up and he wasn't.
	If you were listening to our bonus content, which you should patreon.com slash poker politics.
	But yeah, Charlie Kirk is just a right wing gadfly grifter sack of shit.
	So.
	Yeah, he runs Turning Point.
	He's just an annoying dude.
	And it's, like, headquartered here, so we get the full face of Turning Point.
	Yeah.
	So it's like Jack Posobiec and Charlie Kirk are just, like, part of Arizona politics.
	So, yeah.
	Lucky you!
	Holy shit, yeah.
	So they hosted it, and it was, like, a big rally for Carrie Lake.
	Blake Masters, who flubbed his lines.
	Yeah, he came out of the stage and he was like, Hi, I'm White Masters.
	I mean, I mean, Blake Masters.
	Damn it!
	Like, I've heard him give that same speech so many times now.
	Like, do you not have it memorized?
	You really have to go to the cards every time.
	Oh, my God.
	I know.
	Um, and then, um, so Charlie Kirk, uh, Carrie Lake, Blake Masters, and then Ron DeSantis was the headliner of the night.
	So he, he came in.
	I love the idea.
	I love the idea that you're, you're, you're candidates for governor and Senator aren't big enough draws.
	You had to bring in DeSantis to really get the pack the crowd in that.
	That doesn't speak very well of your candidates for Senate and governor.
	Yeah.
	Oh shit.
	We need the out-of-state governor guy that's supposed to run for president.
	Yeah.
	You gotta be kidding me.
	Also, like I went, you know, cause I go to like Trump rallies.
	He, Trump goes here the most.
	So, you know, I know what a Trump rally looks like.
	Yeah.
	So I got there like super early cause I thought there might be like the merch people out and like a huge line and party out there.
	And it was zero.
	It's completely dead.
	People started lining up like about an hour before it opened and the place didn't even fill up.
	I've been to that same place with Trump and they didn't even bother opening the top decks because it wasn't busy.
	No chance.
	I thought that was kind of interesting because DeSantis is actually kind of popular here.
	Right.
	I hear he's more popular here than some other states.
	How would you describe his energy?
	Boring!
	I don't understand the appeal.
	I guess it's because he's just like, I'm a fascist, here's my fascist policies, you know?
	Like, here's the outline.
	But he's so boring that it's like, I don't really get it.
	I think Elle was trying to lead you into Carrie Lake's little faux pas there.
	Oh yeah, that was weird.
	Does it count as a faux pas if you say exactly what you meant to say?
	I'm pretty sure that she knew what she was saying and then it just turned out that everyone was just like, you probably shouldn't say that as a candidate for anything.
	Nobody in the audience got it.
	Well that's because they're all Caucasians in their 40s or whatever.
	Literally the lady behind me was like, because Carrie kind of let it in, Are there any young people here tonight?
	And like... And the crowd went mild.
	Yeah, to say the least.
	Like, the lady behind me literally was like, it's all middle-aged people here.
	And another older woman was like, young, I'll take it.
	So it was like, even the crowd was like, this is not a young audience.
	And then she starts doing the like, oh, DeSantis has big balls.
	And then she does the big dick energy joke, but she asked the audience, like, do you guys know what that is?
	Nobody.
	Do you guys know what a big dick is?
	Anybody in the audience?
	Literally one lady was like, woo!
	And that was it.
	Nobody got it.
	And her husband was just like, solemnly nodding.
	Yeah.
	I mean, that would feel very good for him.
	Husband of only woman cheering for big dick energy in the crowd.
	It's just like, yeah, that's about right.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	He just, he just, that guy just has a gorilla alpha male staring at every other dude in
	the building and those avert their gaze because they just know he's the Chad with the, with
	the big schlong.
	It's so funny.
	Can you imagine what sort of like internet seclusion you have to be a part of to clearly
	have access to the internet because that's how Donald Trump communicates to his followers.
	So all these people must love the internet for that reason if nothing else.
	But also have avoided hearing about Big Dick Energy in any capacity over the past four years.
	I feel like it got pretty popular as just sort of like a general concept to describe like a vibe of like owning it, but maybe that's just me because I'm not in internet seclusion, so... I don't feel like you have to be 25 to know what that is, you know what I mean?
	I'm not young.
	I know what big dick energy is.
	She was, like, telling the audience, like, ask your kids what it means.
	Like, I wouldn't want my mom to ask me that.
	Ask your kids about big dicks!
	And their energy.
	The thing I think the thing is a big like the big difference between Blake Masters and Carrie Lake
	in the in these in these races that they're running is that Blake Masters
	is an empty suit that was bought and paid for by Peter Thiel.
	And he he stands for nothing.
	He is this empty vessel.
	And he ran the Arizona primary and Haley can back me up on this.
	He ran the Arizona primary as like, the election was stolen for Trump and I will go to Washington and like decertify it.
	And I will crush everyone that like tries to like stand against us.
	I am your Alpha Maga.
	I'm into QAnon a little bit, but I ain't going to say that too loudly.
	He says he's a nationalist.
	Oh, yeah.
	But everything in the primary was, like, hyper-psychotic, hyper-big lie, ultra-MAGA, dipping his toes in the QAnon as much as he could without being called out on it.
	And then he wins the primary election.
	And his first ad for the general election is him, like, throwing his toddler on a swing set, his fawning wife in the background looking at Blake taking care of their little toddler.
	And he's like, I'm Blake Masters, a family man who's just concerned of the direction America's going.
	Cause it's like, in the primary, you run as a nut, and then you try to smooth those edges off, and in this general, you run as just a folksy Arizonan who's just trying to stand up for the little guy.
	Meanwhile, Carrie Lake just can't help herself.
	She's like, fuckin' QAnon primary, QAnon general!
	Don't give a shit about shit!
	She's just so full-bored nut that she just can't help herself.
	She can't, like, try to, like, pander to anyone other than absolute lunatics that read Q-drops for her voting.
	Like, uh, that ad that I did the thread about with that woman who was promoting Plandemic and Was screaming about mask mandates being a violation and telling people to join her PAC to harass gay school teachers.
	Like, that's the star of Carrie Lake's campaign ad in the general election.
	And the campaign ad was literally, Mexicans are going to steal your kids and sell them in the sex trafficking rings.
	And it's just like, Jesus Christ.
	Do you really think, like, Joe Sixpack is, like, sitting there watching TV going, Hunnit!
	Hunnit!
	They're, they're gonna, like, Katie Hopps is gonna sell our kids into the sex dungeons!
	We gotta vote for this lake lady!
	I mean, it's like, who are you appealing to with these ads?
	See, so powerful is Ron DeSantis' big dick energy.
	Look at how wound up it got Mike.
	Yes, it's quite boring.
	Not Mike, DeSantis.
	I'm sleepy.
	Getting back to sort of on track, like...
	It is weird that they would need to bring boring DeSantis who does not have big tech energy.
	He's got Trump minus energy, which we already have a Trump minus.
	It's literally Trump's son.
	Like we didn't need any more Trump minus.
	Uh, so he, like, they have to bring him out to headline with, like, the actual people involved in the race are fucking bananas and way more interesting.
	Like, granted, we don't want to give them, like, we don't want to just be like, yeah, she should be, she should really have a platform because she's entertaining.
	She should not have a platform.
	It would be great if we could.
	Her platform sucks.
	Um, her actual platform is like, let's just ban homeless people.
	Oh yeah, I seem to remember hearing something to that effect.
	So yeah, suffice to say... That's about as good as her platform gets.
	The way our country works, she's entitled to that platform.
	She can say what she wants.
	She can run for office and all this shit.
	I hate it, and that means that I can't stop it.
	But my rights protect me from saying that if I had superpowers and was like Conqueror of Earth, I would stop it.
	I would be like, your policy is wrong and bad and dangerous.
	And I'm stopping this.
	That's not the world we live in, but suffice to say, when I get my powers, I will just be like, no, homeless people, they are, they're literally people.
	We have to protect them.
	They are people.
	I just loved it.
	Like that's her one, like campaign issue.
	Yeah.
	She's got like two main ones.
	It's the, we're banning homeless people and we're filling the border.
	That's about it.
	The wall.
	Oh yeah.
	She's going to declare.
	We have native land here.
	You can't fill it.
	Like, like she's, it's like, she's going to declare a declaration of invasion.
	Like yeah.
	It certainly won't be like, it wouldn't, she would not go for invasion.
	She would just be like, why did we give this to those people in the first place?
	It was ours and it's always been ours.
	And that was super chill of us, but that was a long time ago.
	So we're just going to take it back.
	Yeah, oh, Carrie Lake will definitely think that the native lands were originally owned by the whites and should be repopulated.
	Yeah, that could get pretty interesting, actually.
	Oh god, she's dumber than a brick.
	I mean, that certainly sounds like the most nationalistic thing I could imagine at the moment.
	It's just some white person in the United States being like, you know what?
	All this native land, it's ours after all.
	It's always been ours.
	And that is kind of like what they're running on is like, like the McCain party's dead here.
	Like the McCain legacy is dead here.
	Now it's like the American first nationalist MAGA party.
	So yeah, that does kind of make that makes sense.
	That tracks that America has always been a white man's nation.
	And that's just the way it is.
	Are, are they going to go like, are we going to go through the full cycle of America?
	Are like, like, are like two years into Carrie Lake's administration as governor there, you're going to, you're going to drive, you're going to drive past a Starbucks and see, and see a no Irish need apply sign in the window.
	They're just like, yeah, taking America back to the old school founding stock.
	We're doing it all.
	Yeah.
	She even wants to implement that, like.
	Trump 1776 school curriculum here.
	You know what I'm talking about?
	Nope.
	No.
	Yeah, there was like a counter to the 1619 project and it was like a Trump kind of 1776 school curriculum program.
	Oh God, that sounds so good.
	That's what she said she wants to implement into our schools here.
	So...
	Yeah, it teaches the truth, which is that hundreds of years ago, shortly after God created Earth, Christian God created Earth, some incredible white men traveled the dangerous ocean and discovered America, what would become the greatest country ever.
	And they touched down there and they were just like, we found this place.
	Isn't that incredible?
	And then to the millions of people that were already there, they said, hey, isn't it super cool that we found this place and it's ours?
	And all those people were like, yes, it is super cool.
	We will, conflict free, allow you, the white man, to claim our land.
	And you will graciously allow us to live on a tiny sliver of it still.
	Yes!
	And then, in the white man's infinite generosity, he allowed the black person in bondage, which they obviously were totally cool with, to do all the hard work for the first hundred or so years of America's existence.
	And then, after that toil, we generously granted them their freedom as second-class citizens for a long period of time, and kind of still even now.
	So yeah, hashtag all lives matter.
	Just all of that.
	America!
	It's a proud Caucasian tradition that lives on to this day in the form of rich white people doing the same thing to migrant workers.
	They're just like, how little can I pay you?
	And is there an illegal way for me to find someone like you that I could pay even less?
	Yes.
	Fuck all of those people.
	Yep.
	Damn right.
	Anyway, speaking of people that we should be saying, fuck you, you're bad!
	Let's seamlessly segue away from this horrible nonsense to our friend Dr. Oz.
	Proud Pennsylvania resident always has been Dr. Oz.
	There is nothing better than the Dr. Oz campaign for the fact that, at this point, he could probably lose the election to, like, a sack full of mice.
	I mean, he... It is incredible that of all these unbelievably bad candidates the Republicans have, between Kerry Lake, who is just a QAnon speak-and-spell, you just, like, pull the string and she says whatever they want her to say, or Herschel Walker, who obviously is battling Various mental health slash brain injury problems that somehow in a field of all these people, Dr. Oz tops them all as being the most grossly incompetent buffoon to be running for statewide office.
	Recently, one of his ads resurfaced where he went to a supermarket, whining about the price of vegetables in the most, like, ridiculous... Like, I'm an ultra-elite person.
	Broccoli?
	$8?
	Oh my stars!
	Just traipsing about the vegetable counter, lamenting the high prices and how... And using the word crudité.
	A little peeky-poo behind the curtain, as we do on this show, and it's episode 100, so of course we're gonna do it this time.
	Prior to recording, Mike was pronouncing that word incorrectly, which is not a dunk on him, because why would most people know what the word crudité is?
	If you've seen that in print, I don't expect most people to know what that is.
	That's such a fancy way to just say vegetables and shit.
	Like, you know, the vegetables and shit that you eat at a party.
	Oh, okay.
	It's like, yeah, technically that's called a crudité.
	In the same way that this segment of our podcast is technically called The Amuse-Bouche.
	Right?
	It's like, we're doing it as a bit, but he was using the word crudité like it's just like extra normal.
	It's not extra abnormal, but I wouldn't expect like the common man to be out there just being like, yep
	Right.
	I kind of stopped by the grocery store today. Gotta pick up some crudités, you know, bring it home
	Bring a little crudités for the wife. You know how it is.
	Yeah, I didn't know what it was either.
	I was like, yeah, I didn't know what it was either.
	Right.
	It's a word I've never heard.
	The idea that you think the common person, you think Joe Sixpack is worried about their crudité prices.
	How did Dr. Oz's idiot staff, because this thing was filmed months ago, how did his idiot staff go over that script as they were driving to the supermarket See the gas station where gas was at like 440 a gallon and didn't think, hey guys, why don't we just stop at this gas station and have Dr. Oz like do sad face emojis while filling his car with gasoline and be like, oh man, Fetterman's with Biden and Biden's causing all these high gas prices.
	If only we could elect a Senator who would fight Joe Biden and keep gas cheap.
	If only we could do that.
	That's even more work than them just filming the same video, but instead of him just being like, yeah, had to pick up some crudités for the wife, he just says vegetables.
	Like, hey, I just showed up here to buy vegetables for my wife, and look at the price of these vegetables.
	Isn't that buckwild?
	Like, crudités is a choice.
	He has to be speaking to somebody specifically.
	Like, maybe because of cable network cooking shows and stuff like that, your, like, typical 40-plus-year-old Caucasian doesn't know what a crudité is.
	But I still doubt that, especially in the area where he's like, is it like, is that like the Rust Belt or whatever?
	It's like Rust Belt adjacent?
	Like, hey, Rust Belt voter!
	Don't you hate how expensive crudités become?
	Hey, native Philadelphian!
	Hey, how's your crudité budget been doing under Joe Biden?
	Isn't that the thing you and the family are huzzle around looking over your bills and being like... Let's not speak about meat-based hors d'oeuvres, am I right, fellows?
	Yes!
	Yes.
	Speak nothing of tartar, it's so expensive!
	I still purchase it, it just means I'll pay my staff less!
	And I believe he also got the name of the supermarket wrong, because he basically made some sort of weird amalgamation of Regners and Wegmans, and he called it neither.
	He got halfway on both of them.
	That's a sin over there.
	Right.
	I mean, so, like, he, yeah, he just literally cannot stop, like, just slamming his hand in car doors over and over again.
	And what makes this so wild is that Federman, for, like, his incredible Twitter game and all this stuff, Federman is a giant dude who's, like, 6'4", 6'5", is very overweight, and the dude had a stroke.
	Everyone loves Federman.
	But the dude had a stroke.
	He literally just started campaigning in person like a week or two ago.
	Oz should have the easiest, like, ability to attack this guy and be like, yo, this guy's out of shape, he had a stroke, he's probably not fit for office, vote for the guy who isn't gonna die a couple weeks in, vote me.
	But somehow, instead of, like, laser focusing on, like, the actual issue that's been around literally since Federman won the primary, Oz is like, you know what I'm actually gonna do?
	Just step on rakes.
	Just step on rake after rake after rake.
	I'm just going to turn myself into the biggest clown imaginable.
	And it's really heartwarming because, I mean, Pennsylvania is a mostly blue state, but Trump did manage to win it in 2016.
	There is a possibility.
	This seat that is currently being fought for between Oz and Fetterman is held by a Republican.
	This is a seat that the Republicans really kind of need.
	And the fact that they nominated this rodeo clown and he is losing so badly, it's incredible.
	It's really incredible that this is all they had.
	They had a carpet-bagging TV celebrity from New Jersey going to Pennsylvania to run for office.
	They had nobody else.
	They literally had nobody else to nominate.
	Well, it probably didn't seem like a stupid play for them.
	The king that they elected was some nonsensical TV idiot, no political experience, just some jerk-off.
	And they gave him the push, and he fucking became their new Jesus Christ Messiah.
	So maybe they were just like, hey, you know, it doesn't seem like that bold of a gambit.
	People like Dr. Oz, and he's willing to say Republican shit for us.
	Right, yeah.
	They've literally gamified elections.
	Back in the day, you worked your way through politics, but the point was, build name recognition in politics, then say the magic lines and run for higher offices.
	Now, we're just giving up on that first part entirely, and it's just A, become a celebrity of some stature, B, run for office and say the magic words.
	That's it.
	That's why we have Hershel Walker, and Carrie Lake, and Dr. Oz.
	It really seems like Republicans wouldn't want that fucking problem, though.
	Like, I mean, at some point, if that just becomes obviously the winning strategy, you just put up somebody that people like.
	Like, what happens when liberals start dipping into their well of celebrities and they're just like, okay, it's not a joke anymore.
	We're actually pushing Dwayne The Rock Johnson as President of the United States of America.
	Let's fucking go.
	Everybody loves Dwayne The Rock Johnson.
	He's going to win at a landslide.
	Is that really what we want?
	Yeah, yeah, do conservatives really want to play the celebrity for office game?
	Because Democrats definitely have- Look at Mr. Beast.
	Mr. Beast is president.
	I'm not even joking about this, but every so often when Taylor Swift gets all on her high horse about, like, hey, you guys need to vote and do all this kind of stuff, I'm like, yo, Taylor, run for Senator in Tennessee.
	No other Democrat can possibly win in Tennessee, but you could do it.
	We could have Senator Swift from Tennessee.
	And what would the Republicans do about that shit?
	Nothing.
	They'd do fucking nothing.
	What's going to be their counter-celebrity?
	Right!
	Like, you would sort of force their hand to actually try to put up some, like, actual politician against you, and hopefully that means they would have to get somebody who wasn't just, like, a QAnon signpost, and actually, you know, actually had, like, it was just like, oh, okay, they played their celebrity card, so now we have to counter with, like, actual politics, and not just Getting up on a stage and just being like, you know what I don't like?
	People of color.
	And having the crowd go, yay!
	We also are not fans of them in this rural-ass country.
	So dumb.
	Yeah, I'm here.
	I remember like in, I think it was Michigan, Kid Rock was like kicking the tires on like running for Senate in Michigan or something.
	And then he was like, I ain't gonna do it.
	I'm kidding.
	And it's like, of course you are.
	Cause you might be a celebrity, but you're still Kid Rock.
	You ain't winning.
	You ain't doing it.
	I mean, Jesus Christ, dude.
	And it seems like it would have to be a lot more work than just continuing his pivot.
	Well, I guess he's been country for a while now, but I just love the idea that he just, like, went country and it went successful and now he just gets to be rich in perpetuity.
	I don't know what Hootie's politics are.
	Maybe that's the Tennessee election.
	Hootie versus Taylor Swift for the Senate.
	That'd be great.
	If the Republicans really wanted to field a celebrity, they would get somebody to teach Kid Rock ventriloquism.
	If you could combine the power of Kid Rock with the power of a lightly racist, heavily conservative ventriloquist act, then Lord have mercy, you would have yourself a candidate right there.
	You would be a titan.
	You'd be an absolute god.
	Yes.
	What are you?
	Okay, do we want to move on to our actual headlines for the week?
	Because lord knows it hasn't been a... It hasn't been not a busy week.
	No, not at all.
	From the digital headlines to the digital front lines, it's Q's in the News.
	So, for reasons that are completely lost to me, as a regular human being, we have sort of a wild one to lead with this week, relative to the stuff we normally talk about on the show.
	Who wants to start us off this week with our first headline?
	The floor is yours, Hayley, because you can say her name right.
	I can't, remember?
	Yeah, so the only reason I'm starting is because I can say the name.
	I can pronounce the name as well.
	I just thought that you had more insight into this than I did.
	Oh, well, it's the Anne Heche crash.
	Heche.
	Is the pronunciation.
	Yes.
	Yeah.
	I forget what Mike was going with earlier, but it was... Hecky?
	Hecky!
	Possibly.
	I've met him black and white.
	I've heard a lot of pronunciations, but my mom is like hella into Hollywood, so it's Anne Heche.
	Was she a big Heche head?
	Or I guess still is a big Heche head?
	I don't know, because I don't really know what she was in.
	I think that's a bit outside of my age.
	Those fans used to call themselves Haitians, but they had to change that because they got, you know, very much yelled at on Twitter.
	That's a stupid joke.
	I don't know.
	Or they could be Hessians, which also not great.
	Hessians or Haitians, you gotta get away from the ends.
	All the ends are taken.
	Not good.
	All of the above, not good.
	So anyways, Anne died as a result of injuries sustained in a car accident where she was driving under the influence.
	Of something, right?
	We haven't heard specifically what it was yet because they just stopped investigating when she died.
	They were like, the perpetrator of this crime is dead.
	Investigation over.
	Well, I assume we're going to get toxicology reports at some point, but who knows?
	I know they did a draw, but the last I heard of it, they were just like, yeah, she was under the influence of something, but she's dead now.
	So we're not really investigating this anymore.
	Yeah, I kind of looked into her a little bit.
	It sounds like she had an awful life.
	But yeah, and yeah, died of under the influence in the end.
	Yeah.
	So the conspiracies are kind of because you guys mentioned the one, obviously, that's been popular about the sex trafficking.
	But I also saw some that were like claiming that she she was like awake.
	She was actually awake when they wheeled her away.
	Did you see that one?
	Yes, and it's true because there's video of it.
	Yeah.
	And as I saw someone pointing out that, like, she was probably pumped full of adrenaline and she was probably on narcotics.
	So and she was communicative with the people that were helping her out of the car when she was on the stretcher.
	Because it was a brain injury.
	So sometimes it does take a minute.
	Yeah, she had a brain injury.
	She had massive burns to her body.
	She had all these injuries from the accident that eventually claimed her life.
	But QAnon and the conspiracy theorists saw that she was moving, that she was reacting, and they were like, oh, she survived the crash.
	She was totally going to make it.
	So then they stuffed her in the ambulance and they killed her.
	And, like, that's the idea.
	And I actually saw someone comparing it to Princess Diane, where they were like, she survived the crash, and then they snuffed her out afterwards, because she was going to tell the truth about what was going on.
	Well, okay, that's all well and good, but for me and the people at home, especially the people, like, who might be listening internationally that might not even really know who the fuck Anne Heche is, why would QAnon have conspiracy theory about this person at all?
	Like, what is her relevance to the QAnon story?
	Well, her relevance is that she is a celebrity.
	She appeared in a bunch of movies.
	She dated Ellen DeGeneres.
	She was with Ellen for a while, which Ellen's one of their big bugaboo enemies.
	And on top of all of that, she was, I mean, her star had faded considerably from Hollywood and big screen roles.
	She kind of got blacklisted for being with Ellen because it wasn't cool to be gay then.
	Oh, yeah.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	But her current thing that she was doing was she was going to be in a Lifetime movie about her daughter being kidnapped and like brought into a sex trafficking ring, which of course, like all the red alert buttons start flashing for QAnon when they hear that shit.
	And so Liz Crokan, another one of our favorites from Out of Shadows, she decided to be like, Anne Heche was doing a movie about sex trafficking and exposing all the evil secrets of the deep state and the Hollywood, and that's why they had to kill her.
	And it's like, It was a lifetime movie.
	Nobody was going to watch it.
	And the movie is still being released.
	It wasn't even like she put money into the film.
	And it was going to be about pedophilia in Hollywood and naming names.
	And then one day they killed her to stop the funding and get the movies stopped.
	None of that is what happened.
	She was doing a dumb lifetime movie.
	Sex trafficking was part of the plot.
	She died tragically.
	The movie is still getting aired.
	And now, thanks to her death, I bet a ton more people are gonna watch this movie!
	They're gonna bake it.
	Right!
	They're gonna bake the shit out of this movie!
	So if the cabal was trying to keep this movie under wraps so no one would notice it, by killing her in an incredibly high-profile way, they've only amplified the movie's, like, audience.
	They've only increased its market.
	Yeah, I know that when I want to stealth murder a celebrity or other person of high standing, the way I do it is by We'll put her in the car, we'll hack the car, we'll drive it into a residential home, we'll have her trapped in it for an hour.
	crash into a residential home.
	And she's like, you know, you know, the best way to keep this one under wraps
	is we'll put her in the car, we'll hack the car, we'll drive it into a residential
	home, we'll have her trapped in it for an hour and then people will show up.
	And by then, surely no camera crews will have showed up.
	That will catch her being taken from the car, still responsive and reacting.
	So then we have to kill her in the ambulance or the hospital.
	So it'll totally get swept under the rug at that point.
	In no way could we, the Deep State, who literally control everything, and we know that she has a horrible problem with addictions, there's no way we could spike her addiction with something and just have her overdose.
	Impossible.
	No.
	And all of this to prevent us from saying, a dog took my face and gave me a better face to change the world.
	The Lifetime original movie.
	Yes.
	It's a 30 Rock reference there for my fans out in the world.
	30 Rock heads.
	Damn right.
	Anyway, I mean, yeah, incredibly tragic story, and disappointing but not surprising that QAnon has decided to get involved.
	They're just like, yeah, this woman with mental health and addiction issues destroyed someone's home and killed herself accidentally in a fiery car accident, and this is why us, the QAnon community, have something to say about that.
	It was something about child trafficking!
	They did the same thing for Chester Bennington and Chris Cornell's deaths.
	Every celebrity who dies tragically was this close to exposing the Illuminati.
	body. And then at least those guys, it's like, you know, that could in original. So like
	an original QAnon mythos, that seems more in play with how like a wet works cabal assassination
	would go right.
	Right.
	Somebody wouldn't see Chester for three days, and then he'd go to his condo or whatever, and he would be dead from an overdose.
	They'd just be like, oh, well, tragedy and unimental health issues and all that stuff.
	That sounds like an assassination to me, but the NIH thing, like...
	Why is the Cabal so bad at their job all of a sudden?
	Before, they were so precise with it.
	But when it comes to something like the Diana thing, and at least in the Diana instance, she's fucking royalty.
	That could probably go south.
	She could have an elite bodyguard squad with her or whatever that makes that attempt go south.
	But Anne Heche, she was like a D-lister at this point.
	Nobody really cared about Anne Heche's career anymore.
	They're the silliest dum-dums that ever dum-dum.
	But I mean, these are the same people that think Patton Oswalt is some sort of satanic, pedophile, global elite or whatever.
	And it's just like, he's Patton Oswalt, man.
	He's the voice of the deeps gills in The Voice.
	What are you talking about?
	I don't think he's on Princess Diana tier.
	And probably never will be.
	And I love that, like, literally Q called out Patton Oswalt directly as a pedophile.
	That was one of the few celebrity beefs Q had, and yet they couldn't arrest him.
	Like, Patton Oswalt was, like, so big in the QAnon world.
	It's like, well, we can't arrest Hillary because a civil war will break out.
	It's like, what about Patton Oswalt?
	Same thing.
	We arrest Patton Oswalt for pedophilia, civil war.
	It's like, didn't we arrest, like, Bill Cosby for being a sex monster and he's, like, 20 times bigger than Patton Oswalt and no one cares?
	Not a lot of people know this, Mike, but his full name is Patton Oswalt-Rothschild.
	Oh, right!
	I mean, the waters get really murky.
	You don't know who Patton Oswalt knows, for sure.
	He could get the Clintons to assassinate you immediately.
	Oh, dear God.
	The next time you're behind the wheel, you just better watch out.
	We know how they operate now.
	You're just gonna fly directly into, like, a fashion barn, and that's gonna be the end of you, maybe.
	Yes.
	Or maybe it won't, and they'll have to finish the job when they take you to Earth.
	They'll be like, quick, clear out the emergency room!
	We have a high-profile person coming in!
	And they'll just smother you with a pillow.
	It's like, why didn't you just do the pillow thing to start with?
	We enjoy the theater of the car explosion.
	It's part of our demonic ritual.
	It's like, where in the Bible are there car explosions?
	It's in the Revelations somewhere.
	Just roll with it.
	Just work with it.
	Hey man, this is the way Paimon wants it.
	And what Paimon wants, Paimon gets.
	I'm not going to say what that's a reference to.
	If you know, you know.
	Anyway, so moving on.
	So that's our lightest, fluffiest shit to talk about the week, mostly because it has nothing to do with actual politics.
	So now for a refreshing change of pace, let's talk about actual politics.
	So this is one of those things that Mike referenced in our off-air communications a few times, and I managed to avoid asking him what the fuck he was talking about because I knew I was going to want to do it on the show.
	So Mike, you've been talking about The Pit now for a few days.
	What the fuck is The Pit?
	I know The Pit as DLC content for the Fallout series of video games.
	Oh my god, same!
	So, okay, cool.
	So I wasn't the only person when Mike was just like, oh dude, this pit is getting crazy.
	I was just like, oh shit!
	You gotta say it like, the pit, with flames.
	The pit.
	I was like, same way I talk about a human mule.
	Exactly.
	But yeah, I was just like, oh shit.
	I didn't know that Mike was playing Fallout 76.
	What's good with the pit?
	So Mike, what were you actually talking about?
	What I was actually talking about was True The Vote, who we've covered extensively in our 2000 Mules bonus content.
	I'm already bored!
	I know!
	Same!
	I promise you this gets spicy at the end and it's hilarious, but they basically held their version of the Mike Lindell Cyber Symposium where they were going to Blow the lid off the Deep State with the shocking information and all the details.
	And they had been building this up basically after the release of 2000 Mules that they were going to release all their data, all their information.
	And they called that like hashtag ripcord.
	And they were going to pull the hashtag ripcord at hashtag The Pit.
	And So they got all these QAnon promoters and all these dum-dums, and they made them all feel like royalty, and they flew them in to Arizona.
	And Haley said that she actually didn't even know it, but she drove by the hotel where the pit was being entailed.
	I was just grabbing some lunch.
	I was just grabbing some lunch.
	And I saw the- because it's called the Valley Ho Hotel.
	I just made a comment, like, what the fuck?
	And then later I found out that they were getting into some shit in there.
	Yes, that's the payoff to all this fun stuff.
	Um, so it opens, and, like, originally they had talked about how, like, the pit was going to be so secretive, they could only give this top-secret, ultra-classified information to, like, the elect, the chosen few of QAnon and other grifters, to hear the words of Moroni as he explained what the gold plates actually said.
	Then they were like, you know what?
	This is so explosive.
	We're going to live stream it.
	And then they live streamed like the first two hours and it was literally Greg just boring them to tears.
	Elle falling asleep in the background, talking about some fucking open source data thing that was total trash.
	And people have already looked into it and it's absolute nothing.
	They have no data, no information on it.
	It's horse shit.
	And basically, and Greg was like, we're going to use this interface to strategically influence the paradigm.
	It was every fucking PowerPoint meeting any nine to five corporate drone has ever seen.
	And all the people watching on the live stream were fucking furious.
	And they were just like, what the shit is this?
	We were supposed to get like the fucking details that were going to decertify the election.
	We were supposed to get the mules, the nonprofits.
	We were supposed to get all that.
	We're getting nothing.
	What the fuck?
	Now, what Truth or Vote did that was so smart... I got a link!
	Yes, we got our dumb little link to open.inc or whatever it was called.
	But what they did that was so smart was they had roped all these QAnon promoters into coming to this sack of shit.
	So after the first two hours are done and everyone's out eating lunch, they're all checking their truths because they can't be on Twitter, and they're getting fucking crushed for how much this thing sucks.
	So True Devote doesn't even have to defend themselves.
	They have the QAnon people defending them for them.
	They're like, hey guys, we're going to the secret meeting in a little while.
	We'll be back.
	Don't be so hasty to judge, bro.
	Let's wait for the secret meeting.
	So they go to the secret meeting and guess what the secret meeting is?
	No information, no mules, no cell phone data, nothing.
	All the secret meeting was, was the new Dominion.
	It was literally like, you remember 2000 mules?
	Remember what we were telling you about?
	Fuck all of that.
	We're changing our story again.
	Do you remember Dominion?
	Well, now we've got this company called Kinech.
	K-O-N-N-E-C-H.
	Konech, I believe.
	I have no idea how to say it.
	I was Ann Hashee earlier today, so don't trust me on any of this.
	But they were like, yeah, this company that's very small, their Twitter account has like 70 follows maybe.
	This company no one's ever heard of that has like 50 or 60 employees in Michigan is a nothing company.
	They actually stole the election from Donald Trump.
	They are the bad guys.
	And the reason why they came up with this horseshit is because the founder of the company is an immigrant from China.
	That's literally it.
	Just outright aggressive xenophobia.
	And all the QAnon morons were like, Oh, we have a new wild, we have a new wild goose to chase.
	Ooh, we're going after it.
	And anyone who wanted to be like, guys, guys, where was the the mule data?
	Where was the nonprofits?
	Where was any of it?
	Can't talk now!
	Got a new dominion to get ourselves hit with a billion dollar lawsuit against going after some company for no reason.
	So like literally the dumbest people chasing their own tails in the saddest way imaginable.
	That was the actual meat and potatoes of this whole event.
	Just smoke screen, deflection.
	Remember our story about 2,000 mules?
	Scratch that.
	We never said a fucking word about mules.
	We were talking about voting machines the whole time.
	Just all of it.
	Just absolute clown shit.
	Like, the dumbest, most hilarious shit imaginable.
	All of these stories end with nothing.
	Because QAnon always has nothing.
	It's just, like, so disappointing.
	No matter how exciting it is up front.
	The payoff is always incredibly mediocre.
	Now, sometimes the meat in the middle is really exciting, like the early cue drops were pretty dumb, and boy howdy, everything in Fall of the Cabal is absolutely bananas.
	But most of the time it's just like, and then these dum-dums said they were gonna do a thing, and then they didn't do it.
	We're at the point of just like fake data.
	It's just like four hours of fake data.
	It's so boring.
	It's so boring.
	All these are so boring.
	Carrie Lake and everybody was there though, even though it was a private event for like 150 QAnon people.
	I would love to have been at that secret meeting of, like, QAnon influencer spin control.
	Yeah.
	Where they're just like, oh, beans!
	The fact that we have nothing is really turning on us this time.
	How do we spin control this?
	Like, quick, everybody just get on the internet and find a company that we can scapegoat.
	And someone's just like, well, this company was sort of evolved and demanded and stoned by a Chinese immigrant.
	They're just like, boom, nailed it.
	Bob, you, you, you really, you really saved our bacon this time.
	Mike, did you actually see the, like the, the big, like the board of like... Oh no, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't see the board.
	I thought you were talking about the confrontation with the cops afterwards.
	No, they have like a big board that's like all the, the, the, the groups that are connected to China.
	Oh God.
	They had like a big board at it and it was like all just local groups because one of them was a very local group here.
	Like it's a small group and it was like all these groups are connected to China and it was like all these get out to vote organizations that are like for different minority groups.
	So it was like all these groups are connected to China.
	It was just like super kind of racist.
	Yeah.
	Arizona Latinos vote.
	Yeah.
	They're connected to China.
	There was like Asian Americans vote.
	There was like black Americans vote.
	It was all that.
	And it's like, these are all the people funneling information to China.
	And in the most sinister group of them all, black Asian American votes.
	Yep.
	It's like, oh my god, what a paradigm.
	Asian Pacific Islander.
	I was waiting for a Tibetan Freedom Voters Vote connected to China.
	Yeah, there's some pretty specific ones on the list.
	The Independent Taiwan Association, you know what, secretly in the back pocket of China.
	Yes.
	Yeah, so this dumb event happens, and they do it.
	And then, I don't know if it happened right after they finished slandering this company no one's ever heard of, but old True the Vote, old Greg Epoo gets a knock on the door.
	And it's the hotel, and they're like, yo, this is our hotel.
	Why do you have armed security at your dumb little convention?
	He was armed.
	And Greg himself was packing?
	Sweet.
	So Greg's packing, and he has security at the convention that are also packing.
	And then the hotel's like, we don't want guns on the property.
	And Greg's like, I'm a dumb moron!
	Second Amendment!
	And then the hotel's like, we're asking you to leave.
	And Greg's like, I will not leave.
	And they get so hot and bothered over this shit that Greg literally tells the hotel, he will not leave until the cops are called.
	So the cops get called and the cops show up and they tell him, Greg, guess what?
	It's private property.
	If they don't want firearms on the property, get the fuck off the property.
	So Greg Greg and these idiots have this huge stink and then eventually they get thrown off the property by the hotel via police escort.
	The police actually have to walk them off the property because they're such goddamn piss babies about their stupid guns.
	And this whole thing...
	Then led to one of the, uh, QAnon promoters, uh, pissing and moaning about this and being like, Greg, like fucking had to be a baby about this stuff and these dumb things with the guns and this convention got ruined and we didn't learn anything.
	And I'm very upset about all of this and it's bad.
	My favorite part was when he was like, and people who wanted to bring drugs get, they couldn't bring their drugs because the cops were around.
	Oh yeah, I forgot!
	Because Greg was like, why are you bringing drugs?
	So this guy who goes by the name Archive-Anon, after pissing and moaning about this, was roundly destroyed by the rest of QAnon.
	Because you don't go at Griff Daddy in the moment.
	And right now Griff Daddy is Greg Phillips in True The Vote.
	They're the new heroes of the story.
	And Archive-Anon was accused of being a cross-dresser.
	He was accused of all kinds of just weird behavior and being a nut.
	And then Archiveanon went on Telegram and talked about how he's a virgin, doesn't have sex out of marriage, and that he's this total square, and why does he have to deal with all these perverts and weirdos that are trying to ruin everything and make the world a bad place.
	And then everybody else said that he isn't a virgin by choice and he's an incel and a loser.
	It was real ugly.
	It was real dark.
	But apparently Greg gave him a phone call and they kissed and made up.
	But it was very chaste.
	So.
	But yeah, that was a great payoff to the whole story was that they got they got kicked out by the cops and someone had a big sad.
	And then that led to hot grifter on grifter infighting.
	And then they all had to make up afterwards.
	That's a classic Arizona problem.
	You know, you're allowed to bring guns anywhere here, but a private a private building can say no.
	And people will get heated.
	If my experience working retail and food service has taught me anything, it's that when people are wiling out, they completely lose the concept of what private property is.
	Like, they're just like, but I want to spend money here!
	And it's just like, yeah, but as somebody who represents the place that you're at, I'm telling you that your privileges to be here have been revoked.
	Effective immediately.
	Now this is private property and you're trespassing.
	And it's just that simple.
	It happens so fast.
	I understand that it's confusing.
	But you've escalated to the situation where I flipped that switch, and you went from being here legally to being here illegally!
	It's so weird!
	Now please fucking leave, or I'm gonna call the cops, and they'll tell you the same thing!
	Oh yeah, I mean, this might be shocking to you, but when people lose a lot of money at a casino, they get really angry about it.
	And then you tell them those magic words that like, Hey, uh, you can leave right now or we can have you legally removed because, uh, you're no longer welcome here.
	That's how this works.
	Yes, exactly.
	I forgot the best part of that video is when Greg's like getting kicked out and.
	One of the ladies that's filming, like off-camera, that's clearly with the group, is like, like, you guys done fucked up.
	And then she's like, we know people in Arizona!
	Like yelling at the cops.
	That made me laugh so hard.
	We're going to go to Kerry Lake.
	When she's governor, she's going to have your job.
	Yeah.
	Actually representative Mark Fincham was like trying to like get people to boycott the hotel.
	He was like trying to do hashtag boycott Vallejo and had like three people catch on.
	And it's like, that's a fancy Scottsdale hotel.
	Nobody's boycotting that.
	Here's a secret Easter egg for the listeners.
	If you watch that footage and you turn the volume way up in the background, you can faintly hear somebody saying, Get him, RoboCop!
	Yeah!
	Don't forget to back the blue, folks.
	Hashtag defund the FBI.
	Oh yeah, the back to blue crew.
	Hashtag back to blue.
	Hashtag defund the FBI.
	Hashtag rock on.
	One of our sheriffs was actually in there with them.
	Sheriff Mark Lamb was part of the presentation.
	And when the other people showed up, he just pulled out a hat and pulled his badge out from under his shirt.
	And he was just like, yeah, I was here to arrest them the whole time.
	I was deep undercover.
	Turns out they got nothing!
	I'm wasting a lot of taxpayer time and money!
	Yep.
	That's all Arizona does.
	Hashtag Cyber News.
	Oh yeah.
	God.
	I know, this isn't even the first time- They can't wait to waste taxpayer money.
	This isn't even the first time True the Vote has held shit here.
	They've held like an official hearing here.
	Oh yeah, I remember.
	And then they got mad because Arizona didn't decertify the election after their brilliant presentation.
	Yeah.
	God.
	Okay, well, you know, no, that's fine.
	We love talking about the flaming pit that is Arizona.
	Get it?
	I called it a pit.
	Like, the pit.
	The pit!
	The pit!
	But the pit we were talking about is not deserved of that cool inflection, because again, as we suspected, it was nothing.
	You know what's not nothing?
	All of the shit surrounding former President Donald Trump confirmed not nothing.
	Lots of movement here this week, unsurprisingly.
	Turns out when the feds raided his residence and came away with a bunch of classified documents, the story didn't just end there.
	They were just like, and then we gave him a stern talking to and that was the end of it.
	So Mike, the story continues.
	How does it continue?
	The story continues because literally Trump and his defenders have used every excuse in the world, beginning with the FBI was going to plant the documents, to the President can literally point at documents and decree, I have declassified them!
	I hate to interrupt you, but it was even worse than that.
	They started to get into the heady territory of whether or not you can By thought, declassify documents.
	Yes!
	Yes, thought declassify, the ultimate declassification.
	It's like Donald Trump had standard orders that, you know, anything that he read became declassified immediately.
	It just stored in perpetuity in his gigantic brain.
	Because the president would often spend his time reading classified documents and then throwing them into the presidential fireplace immediately to dispose of them.
	Yes!
	Yeah, so they did all of these things.
	And recently, the newest and boldest of defenses for Trump's criming was the declaration that he was told that, hey, you know, Donnie, you have to give these documents back because they're classified in their government property.
	And Trump replied, the documents are mine, not theirs.
	Like, these are now my documents.
	So like, literally, Trump, like, it's one of these really funny things where Trump just keeps confessing to the crime over and over and over again.
	And I, it's just, it's just it's just wild that like, this is what this absolute, like, I don't know, head injury level cretin is doing to himself.
	And he Has the lawyers he currently has are like beyond terrifyingly bad.
	I mean, it's because he doesn't pay anybody.
	So that's probably why he can't actually get anyone.
	I mean, historically, his choice in lawyer, not incredible.
	I mean, he had Rudy Giuliani in his employ for a while.
	Cristina Bob is his attorney.
	Yeah.
	She cut off her husband's penis 30 years ago, remember?
	Yes!
	What a bold choice.
	You don't want the One America News anchor as your attorney?
	Yeah, I'm reading it now.
	The former president's current legal team includes a Florida insurance lawyer who's never had a federal case.
	A past general counsel for a parking garage company and a former host at OAN.
	So yes, that is the ragtag bunch of fucking heroes that are going to save the president.
	She's a local.
	Yeah, they're gonna save the president from the feds.
	This is just one man's opinion, but every host I have seen on OAN looks like the main character if somebody decided to remake the movie Mannequin at a sex shop.
	God.
	A product of ASU, Arizona State University.
	Good job, Arizona State.
	Go Devils!
	I mean, that is a pretty cool mascot.
	It's always disappointing when it's some sort of large cat.
	It's just like, yeah, we're home of the one and only tigers.
	Thank you very much.
	It's like, yeah, I'm pretty sure that you are not the one and only type.
	I would need to see the receipts that your tiger mascot has defeated in Mortal Kombat every other one.
	Then and only then will I recognize you as the only Tigers.
	Yeah, there was... I forget the teams, but there was a national football title game that was played in recent memory where both teams were named the Tigers.
	And I actually used that joke with somebody and they didn't get it.
	I don't know sports.
	at them and said, Hey, do you think the Tigers are going to win?
	And they were like, I don't know.
	And then I just looked at them and then they looked at me and then they're like,
	Oh no, I'm an idiot.
	And I'm like, yeah, you're an idiot.
	So you guys.
	I don't know sports.
	I don't get it.
	Yeah.
	Well, well, you weren't watching the sports ball game and have money on it,
	which this person did, which is what I'm saying.
	I don't think you need to know much about sports to be watching a game where the
	graphical interface is telling you that it is Tigers versus Tigers and then have
	Mike turn to you and go, so do you suppose the Tigers are going to win this one?
	I give you credit to be able to put that one together independent of knowledge of sports.
	Yeah, or like if you were playing some sort of role-playing game and you called up your spells mid-due and it was cast fire or fire and then Mike turned to you and was just like, so is it going to cast fire?
	You can puzzle that one together.
	Yeah.
	Oh, God.
	Yeah.
	So, yeah.
	So Trump, where Trump stands right now is, of course, nebulous, because that situation is ongoing basically. And right now the big hullabaloo is
	that the, the, uh, the feds won't release the affidavit to explain what crimes they're
	actually investigating Trump for, even though we've been able to suss out pretty much what they're
	going for. And the, uh, Trump world is like, Hey, give us the affidavit. Mostly because they
	think.
	They think that will have information for the people who told the government where they'd
	find these documents so they can begin witness tampering and intimidation, which is why the
	government won't give them the affidavit.
	And it's like, what are you trying to hide?
	It's like, we're trying to hide the names of our witnesses so they don't have to go
	into- Yeah, the identities of witnesses, it turns out.
	It's standard practice.
	Right.
	We don't want to have to put them in WITSEC until we absolutely need to, which is basically
	whenever we get those names, then Trump is like, Bob so-and-so has always been a low
	life that was always coming at me the wrong way.
	And I don't know, maybe someone should do something about him.
	But I'm not saying, I'm just saying.
	So yeah, that fun is going on, and then we have, as we were joking about it a minute ago, the back the blue people now all hashtag defund the FBI, and the FBI has gone crazy, it's politicized, we need to tear it down, and it's like... Too, and including some people trying to do that physically, and failing, thankfully, and being shot dead or whatever.
	Oh yeah, the idiot in Cincinnati who was literally posting on Truth Social about how he was gonna try to kill FBI agents, and literally posted in mid-attack on the FBI that he thought he could use a nail gun to break through bulletproof glass, but, oops, guess that didn't work.
	Now I'm screwed.
	I love how his plan was to foil bulletproof glass with a nail gun.
	So like, in his head, it's like the Matrix.
	He gets up and they're just like, hi sir!
	How can we help you?
	And he's just like, seamlessly, nail gun the bulletproof glass, hit it with a nail, it shatters instantly.
	And then I dramatically leap through it with my AR-15 and just start taking off Fed's head before they can even react.
	And it's just like, bro, even if the nail gun broke the glass, then you would have to run away from law enforcement because you're in their building.
	And as soon as you produce the nail gun, they're probably like, what the fuck?
	It's a weapon!
	Like, we should produce our weapons!
	Which are more effective than a nail gun!
	And after you shatter the glass and try to get your long gun out of your trench coat to try to attack us with it, we can pull our handguns out and fire faster.
	This isn't gonna work, buddy.
	I'm sure that none of those FBI agents working in that building are trained and proficient with firearms.
	No.
	That's not a part of FBI training.
	It certainly doesn't seem like the sort of thing they'd want FBI agents to be good at.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, so our boy, that dum-dum, and then the other spicy meatball that came out was, there was a guy on our favorite platform, Gab, that was literally posing, I'm gonna kill some FBI agents, they're fucking going down, I'm gonna commit murders like you read about!
	And Gab, the ultra free speech platform that's all about your freest speeches, they sold that guy out immediately.
	They gave the feds his contact data.
	They gave him all their information.
	That guy got grabbed almost immediately and was charged with making terroristic threats.
	The Gab Nazis are very upset.
	Yeah, and oh yeah, Torb's got a, he got a stern talking to from Team Gabnazi, because how dare, how dare Torb's infringe on their free speech by impugning this poor man who was just broadcasting that he wanted to kill some feds!
	I mean, come on!
	I mean, how do you suppose that conversation went down?
	I suppose it probably went down as the government reaching out and just being like, hey, motherfucker, we're going to start looking at your stupid website unless you tell us who said this shit.
	And he was just like, allow me to present you with that information.
	I had already prepared it ahead of time for you.
	Please continue to not really look at our website.
	And they were like, fair enough.
	Your classification for your dubbed Nazi website will simply be, it will remain at the level of monitored.
	It will not go above monitored.
	Yep.
	We like your website because it's a honeypot.
	Trust us, 20% of your fucking users are feds, so don't worry.
	But we're gonna give up the ghost if you make me cough up this information.
	They're just like, shut the fuck up.
	He's literally talking about killing us.
	We want the information.
	We don't care how you spin it.
	We don't care if you need to burn your fucking website to the ground.
	You're gonna give us this information or we're gonna come after you.
	And he was just like, okay, here's the information.
	Yeah.
	Oh, yeah.
	So yeah.
	So the coward here it is rolling over and showing you my belly immediately.
	Yeah, 100 percent.
	Fuck that guy.
	So wrapping up our headlines in Trump world and all this nonsense is the fact that while
	the we have the Mar-a-Lago investigation going on, we have the 1-6 committee investigation
	going on.
	We have all this shit going on.
	Meanwhile, poor little Georgia is like, hey, hey, don't forget about us.
	And they gave Rudy Kaloudi a message that said he is now the target, one of the targets
	of their investigation into the phony elector scam in Georgia and the perfect phone call
	between Trump and the Georgia Secretary of State where he's like, yo, buddy, amigo, compadre,
	find me 12,000 votes, por favor.
	I mean, as one does for a friend, just get me the votes to put me one vote ahead of Biden and no one will think that's sus.
	Just take care of that for me.
	So yeah, even Rudes has now got himself in the crosshairs of law enforcement for the crime time.
	I love the idea that they have to send out an intent to come at you.
	It's like getting slapped in the face with a white glove.
	It's like, we're not fighting right now, but we will be fighting in the future.
	Here's your notice.
	Yes.
	So yeah.
	Do you suppose Rudy Giuliani started oozing immediately?
	He was like, I'm not nervous at all!
	He's just got icker just pouring down his face like the alien overlord communicating with Zorg in 5th Element Boom reference, 100th episode, nailed it.
	Yeah, I'm imagining the Georgia prosecutors slapping Rudy with the white glove, and then as they recoil, the white glove is just covered in slime.
	They're just like, oh my god!
	How can you be this gross?
	I have to burn my glove now!
	And Rudy's like, I'm not gross, leave me alone!
	As black slime is just like falling all over his neck and cheeks.
	It's just, oh god.
	He's just, he's devolving like Senator Kelly in the X-Men movie from the year 2000, boom, reference, I don't think I've still nailed it.
	There we go.
	The hashtag is strong.
	It's like, this is what a hashtag looks like in real life.
	Isn't it fucking annoying?
	Stop hashtagging stuff.
	Incredible.
	So yeah, you love to see that at least some knives are coming out for some of these clouds.
	Whether or not anything comes of it is one thing.
	I mean, Rudy Giuliani doesn't seem like he's Teflon like Donald Trump.
	He seems like he can go to prison, which is cool.
	But you get him.
	He's irrelevant, but I still want to see him get got.
	Yes, 100%.
	I basically want people to learn the lesson that if you decide to attach yourself to Donald Trump, you eventually end up either destitute or in prison.
	That's what I want people to learn.
	Christians think a deal with the devil is.
	That's the actual deal of the devil.
	It's like, oh, you'll be powerful and rich for a little while, but you've sold your soul.
	And it's like, yeah, that's being in bed with Trump.
	You like, hang out with Trump and you get to be like, you have notoriety and fame and some level of success.
	And then at some point, someone's like, hey, you were within 20 feet of Trump for a period of time.
	Now you are being, you're being looked at for these crimes or these financial problems.
	And then you're like, oh, shit.
	Oh, shit.
	And you're screwed.
	Donald Trump is Dorian Gray, but you're the painting.
	Boom.
	Reference 100 times.
	Nailed it.
	That was the best one.
	I much appreciated that one.
	So yes.
	The references will continue until morale improves.
	My heart is so high!
	The use of this is a way to escape us from our log news segment and into our wonderful weekly Q&A segment.
	Sounds like a plan.
	Our listeners got questions, we got answers.
	It's time for Q&A.
	Okay, so Reverend Xenofact says, let's start a new grift, an anime-styled Q date sim game.
	What our typical Q folk would be your provincial lovers, the gun nut, the baker, the other blonde white woman?
	They request about seven candidates for romance with a Q instead of an O in romance, but we can go lower than that because seven seems excessive.
	I think like at some point you would need to, maybe it would be like The Secret Boss or whatever, but you would have to, you would have to romance Q themselves at one point, but like they would just be depicted as like shadowy silhouette, but the silhouette is still obviously Ron Watkins, so.
	Oh god.
	It's either that or Arby's has a mascot, and I'm not sure that the second one is true.
	So yeah, we could have that.
	There's just so many to choose from.
	It's so easy to punch down and cue people because they all suck so bad.
	The problem is that, like, how many of them have their own separate thing?
	Because the gun nut and the racist, they just seem like the same person.
	Do we just have to spin off each individual terrible trait into its own, like, anime?
	I want to date the, um, you know, like, the QAnon ladies that are, like, crystal ladies.
	Don't worry, don't worry moms.
	I'll pick up the slack there.
	Love a mom.
	They got yoga butt.
	Right, pastel anon.
	Yeah, not moms though.
	Just crystal ladies who are in a- Yeah, the crystal ladies-
	Right.
	Don't worry moms, I'll pick up the slack there.
	Love a mom, let's go.
	The same thing but moms.
	I'm into it.
	Sounds great.
	I would actually try to woo them at this game.
	So I think it would be more like just their appearances instead of like what their hobbies are going to overlap a lot because you can't help it.
	Like every Q lady in this date sim game is going to have one of their profile poses.
	It's gonna be them holding a gun in some inappropriate way, either a teap cup grip,
	or they're gonna have like the no trigger discipline and pointing the gun in the wrong direction.
	But they're also gonna have- Or they're just gonna be looking down the barrel of it
	like Albert Fudd.
	Right, right, exactly, exactly.
	Oh God, yeah, they're gonna.
	But I think it's more like you're gonna have like a Marjorie Taylor Greene,
	then you're gonna have a Boebert, and then you're gonna have like,
	there is a bunch of female QAnon promoters on Truth Social, and this guy like Photoshop's them all
	into like dragon slaying outfits.
	They got like swords and armor, or they're like marines with AR-15s.
	They have their weird fetish cheesecake thing going on where they do all this stuff, and then all the female crew members are like, oh man, this guy did such a good job with my crazy model!
	Here I am as this crazy mistress wielding magic thing, and it's like...
	Isn't that all the stuff you people think is bad?
	Don't you all think magic is real and can be obtained by worshipping Malek and slaughtering children for their blood?
	Well, when they're depicting it, it's not magic so much as it is the power of Christ.
	Oh, right, yes.
	When that person in the blue, starry, pointy hat and flowing robes is shooting that lightning at that hydra, that's Christ!
	Christ is anything you need him to be.
	It's the best part about the J-Man.
	He's just got all the bases covered.
	He's all things for all people.
	Yes.
	So thank you for the question.
	Klutz Zero says, if your podcast was a prestige TV show and you were writing the finale, what would you include?
	What characters or plot twists would appear?
	So, like, our actual lives, or the lives of us as, like, QAnon pundits?
	I would say it's like, it's basically like this podcast, how we write the season finale for like this, like the dumb stuff we're doing here and like what happens inside this world, I guess, would be like my kind of thing, I would think.
	Well, so I feel like as appropriate for a show about QAnon, I feel like, so the whole way, like, you know, we've obviously just been like, yeah, Ron was obviously Q, like maybe it was somebody that like actually like, likes Like, created the football, but at some point he grabbed it and ran it, and then other worse people picked it up down the line.
	And we're so smug and self-satisfied because we are, because we're right.
	But I think that the series finale would end on a cliffhanger where we're shocked to, like, our computers get hacked as we're recording or whatever, and some very clearly not-Rod Walken silhouette of a person is just like, I'm actually secretly Q, and you had it wrong the whole time.
	Like, all of your efforts were for nothing.
	And we're like, no!
	But that's the end of the whole show.
	You never get a payoff, because of you.
	Yeah, we leave you on the cliffhanger.
	We do that terrible thing that shows that are having bad ratings, but might get renewed, but might not get renewed do.
	And they just end on a cliffhanger, hoping if they get renewed, they get paid off.
	And if not, then people will just blame the studio for canceling them.
	It's Carnival all over again.
	Boom.
	Reference.
	100th episode.
	Nailed it.
	Hey, my version of that is Terminator 2 Sarah Connor Chronicles.
	Fuck you assholes for pulling that shit, you pieces of shit.
	And for those of you who know why I watch that show, you know that's my deep cut reference.
	So boom, there you go.
	I mean, I guess Illusive Perpetuity is the third best Terminator thing, unless we're counting the comics and books, which I never read any of.
	But of all the media I've consumed, which is all the stuff committed to film, it's number three behind Terminators 2 and 1.
	Right, exactly.
	Unfortunately, the drop-off afterwards is precipitous.
	Oh god, direct off a cliff.
	Holy shit, yes.
	So yes, uh, Unsatisfying Cliffhanger.
	That's how we're ending this thing.
	I don't know what... Oh, and Sarge is not there for it.
	Oh yeah, Sarge misses it!
	Yeah, Sarge misses the series a lot.
	That's the after-credits, like, post-credits scene that ends the whole series, is it just cuts to, like, Sarge on the side of the road, like, fuckin', like, looking down at his phone, waiting for, like, AAA to show up.
	It's like, fucking shit, I missed it!
	Like, stupid car.
	And then on his phone goes, you were wrong too, idiot!
	He's like, what?
	What the fuck?
	And then he just sees a bunch of text messages from us, and that's the end of it.
	So Mikhail, aka Trump Queen, says, anyone else feel like they relapsed on Trump news this past week?
	I was out here on Twitter, Trump hunting down my next bump of news to feed a habit.
	I thought I had it under control.
	I can't be the only one.
	Discuss.
	I do feel like this is the kind of thing that's why our media loves him so much because he's just this dumb ball of corruption and gaffes and bullshit that when you think about people who say, oh, I'm a content creator, it's like Trump is the ultimate content creator because everyone knows about him.
	He's the dumb former president.
	He can't stop doing dumb, horrifying shit.
	He has a cult of personality around him that literally engulfs one whole political party in America.
	So we as America have a Trump addiction and it's, it's awful, but this is the, this is where we're at.
	And I totally, you're, you're not alone in any way, shape or form.
	Like so much of mainstream media and politics is dedicated to, Can the Republican Party break itself from Trump and all of his crimes?
	And the answer every week is no, they can't.
	There's nothing the man could do.
	When he made that comment about shooting someone on Fifth Avenue and not losing any voters, he was right.
	And he will always be right.
	Like, that guy had it coming to him.
	Trump was right to shoot him.
	I mean, it's just, it's just that.
	It's, um, it's where we're going to be at until the man drops dead.
	And then QAnon won't believe he's dead.
	And they'll think he's hiding with JFK Jr.
	in the shadows, waiting to save the world in the future.
	Well, speak for yourself there, Chieftain, because I certainly do not have a Donald Trump addiction.
	If it were for the fact that I have to talk about the clown for this particular show, I could very easily ignore every headline about him, because at this point, I just don't really care.
	The only thing I care about is Donald Trump in prison, hopefully forever.
	I want that headline.
	And then I will read that story, and I would be like, that's great.
	Good for him.
	Finally getting behind jail bars for eternity.
	Yeah, I'm certainly not addicted to Trump news.
	For the most part, I see the headlines because they're everywhere, but I just skim past them.
	I almost never read an article.
	I just can't be fucking bothered to.
	I could be spending that time on TikTok looking at cat videos or whatever.
	That's how I spend most of my commute these days.
	Sorry.
	So Haley, how much is your Trump addiction?
	Like a pack a day?
	Half a pack?
	Where are you at?
	I mean, I don't really care as much about Trump anymore because he's not around unless he's here, which he does come often.
	But I feel like I do follow heavily the like second tier of the Trump grift, which is all his minions in Arizona.
	Right.
	It's not so much.
	It's not Trump itself.
	It's Trumpism that you're dealing with.
	Yeah.
	Like MAGA.
	Greater MAGA.
	You just don't care about The Rock.
	You care about The Rock's mini minions.
	It's like you just have to see what he says to kind of get what they're all gonna say and then I kind of care more about what The second level has to say.
	Right, because Trump can't hurt you for another two years, whereas Carrie Laker, Blake Masters could fuck your shit up right now.
	Yeah, they could be, you know, they could win.
	Blake won't win.
	He's doing awful.
	The point difference is so bad, like even our data guy was like, There's not really good of a good chance.
	So, but there are good chances with some of them.
	So it's like, you know, you got, that's who I kind of focus on.
	Yeah.
	What is the current, what's Lake's current standing?
	Like how far is she behind right now?
	I have no idea.
	I don't know what the Lake Hobbs race is looking like.
	Last I saw she was down nine, which is not great.
	So I'm hoping, I'm hoping that trend continues.
	Yeah.
	She's just trying to like appeal to the The far right and like the QAnon people, so it's like not really working so well so far.
	But the problem is, you know, sometimes name recognition just works here.
	Oh, yeah, absolutely.
	But I mean, that's the thing is, I remember in 2016, all we lived with was like, when will Donald Trump pivot?
	When is our baby boy going to pivot?
	And he never did.
	And it's like, Jesus Christ, guys, fuck off.
	He's an idiot and a right winger.
	That's all he will ever be.
	So thank you for the question.
	Plus sized golf model says, did you think you would reach 100 episodes?
	And what's your favorite bit?
	I mean, I just have this day off.
	I kind of just felt like this thing was just going to go forward due to inertia.
	So I never really like calculated a number of episodes we were going to do.
	So if it stopped or if it started, was never really in my head the whole time.
	As for favorite bits, God, I, My brain is just... Mostly just any time we just get lost in the weeds of El making references and shit.
	That's basically... I mean, Get Him, Robot Cop is recent, but that made me laugh a lot when that happened.
	Just all that kind of stuff.
	I think the podcast, we went on a podcast a bit.
	The Babylon Five Five, the Alien Nation Nation, like that kind of stuff.
	That was something I really enjoyed.
	Yeah, that was a great episode, mostly because of that ongoing riff that went through it.
	That was one of my favorites too, the podcast without a podcast thing.
	It was so strong in that episode that I haven't really wanted to dig it out of mothballs very often because I just sort of want to have it live there and just reference it every once in a while for the people that have been sticking with us for a long time.
	But yeah, I mean, there have been some good ones.
	I really put a raisin on it, just because it was so nonsensical at the time.
	It just perfectly encapsulated the spirit of a dumb, stupid catchphrase for merchandise that means absolutely nothing.
	Right?
	I've noticed that a significant amount of YouTubers have something similar to that.
	Just some random thing that's just become a thing that they can put on merchandise.
	And I'm like, oh, put a raisin on it is slightly more ridiculous than theirs, but not by that much.
	And our other favorite bit is Sarge not being here, so yes.
	Yeah, we'll have to save some of these good questions.
	Maybe we should save that question so Sarge can answer it once he's got his stupid life shit resolved.
	We love him.
	It's not his fault that he's not here, unfortunately.
	We're just busting his balls because he won't listen to this.
	Because why would he listen to the show that he's on?
	I don't.
	Damn right.
	Cleodora Silvestri, messing with your CSV, all the bad commas still there.
	Of all the unethical lawyers we've seen in the news over the last few weeks, which one has dug for themselves the deepest professional grave?
	That was all caps at the end, so I had to emphasize it.
	What is a grave without a pit?
	Yes!
	At this moment, I mean, the one lawyer that springs to my mind is Reynald, the guy that was the lead counsel for Alex Jones, who accidentally... I don't know if it was he who directly accidentally gave the prosecution the phone with two years of text messages and the naked photo of the wife that was given to Roger Stone.
	But he definitely was the lawyer who didn't say, hey, guys, you can't use that as privilege.
	He was the lawyer who went the 10 days and didn't say anything and let them have that free and clear.
	So of all the dumb lawyers that have been around recently, I'm going to pick him because everybody else has yet to destroy themselves in a court of laws that spectacularly.
	And that was truly impressive that that clown managed to clown himself that hard.
	I'm a basic B, and I love a basic corrupt lawyer, and since he's back in the headlines, it's hard for me not to vote for Rudy.
	Although, he's not exactly a lawyer anymore, right?
	In some places he's been fully disbarred or whatever.
	Yeah, he's been sanctioned.
	Let's say that he scrapes in on a technicality and my answer still isn't that exciting, because I can't be fucked to know the names of any of these other corrupt lawyers.
	Yeah.
	My favorite one is a secret backdoor, other favorite bit of ours of the show, Southern Lawyer.
	Stereotypical Southern Lawyer is my favorite corrupt lawyer.
	Yes.
	How about you, Hayley?
	Do you have any favorite corrupt lawyers?
	You're a little more finger on the pulse than I am.
	I honestly, my favorite corrupt lawyer Like, that was the question of all time.
	I think it's supposed to be relevant to the shit that's going on recently, but why limit ourselves?
	Why live in a box?
	Who's your favorite criminal lawyer of all time?
	I don't know lawyers too well.
	So I'll also go with Rudy, I guess.
	Yeah, see, this is one of those questions, some of these questions that come in, I mean, granted, he is our expert.
	Some of these questions are for Mike only, because it's just like, hey, I don't think- I could name one, but it's so in the fucking weeds of Arizona that it's just like, we're not getting into it.
	It's a little too specific.
	Yeah, it's sort of like, you guys don't want to hear a fucking five page essay on this.
	It's a company that's part of your same homeowner's association or whatever.
	You just have to see them tomorrow.
	They're just like, I heard your fucking podcast yesterday!
	Calling me corrupt!
	Yeah.
	And our final question in the mailbag is from AllYou'veGotToDoIsNotBeAShittyHuman, with two heart emojis on the front and the back, says, How will the cult spin this?
	And my guess is that Trump is still in charge.
	The warrant was part of his intricate plan for the FBI to infiltrate.
	Discovery!
	Yes, Discovery, always.
	Those documents are now with Discovery, baby.
	Yeah, basically this is a news article about the FBI rescuing 200 trafficking victims, including 84 children, in a quote-unquote operation cross-country.
	And we have a video of the FBI grabbing someone out of a van and arresting them for human trafficking.
	So yeah, basically massive anti-human trafficking operation the FBI just conducted.
	Lots of bad guys getting cuffed and stuffed.
	Children being saved from human traffickers.
	All of this done under the watchful eye of President Biden and Director of the FBI Ray, both of whom QAnon bitterly hate.
	So it's weird.
	It's Well, but this operation was set into motion by Donald Trump during his presidency, clearly, and such powerful motions made by such a powerful man can't be stopped even by corrupt sleepy Joe Biden and corrupt FBI leader Wray, who Donald Trump most certainly did not install.
	Correct, yes.
	In fact, Donald Trump has never met that man.
	Doesn't even know him.
	Couldn't pick him out of a police lineup and be tried.
	Exactly.
	Which, honestly, all of those things might actually be true.
	Like, it's equally likely that Donald Trump just threw a dart at a name.
	It was just like, that guy's the new FBI leader.
	And they were like, do you want to meet him?
	Or like vet him?
	And he was like, nah, he's good.
	Exactly.
	I've got a 9.30 tea time.
	We need to fucking wrap this up.
	The American people picked me to lead, not to read.
	Boom.
	We're done.
	We're out of here.
	There we go.
	Reference.
	100 episodes.
	Nailed it.
	Yes!
	That's what it's all about.
	So that will wrap up the mailbag and all that fun stuff.
	So it brings us to our final question, which is, what are you two looking forward to?
	I'll go ahead and start.
	Lots for me to look forward to.
	Anybody who knows me knows my favorite thing to do is the gaming of tabletop.
	Be that roleplaying or board games or card games or whatever.
	And I've got a lot of that coming up this weekend.
	Actually, this evening I will be going out for some board games.
	Tomorrow I will get to draft a Magic the Gathering cube.
	And Friday I am running a D&D session.
	That is the trifecta.
	I'm very excited for the trifecta.
	That sounds awesome.
	Last week, Hayley was looking forward to lunch.
	Do you have anything more powerful this week, or is lunch still the dream?
	You know, I was like, man, is this the place where I said lunch?
	Because I was going to say lunch again, because it's about to be noon.
	So I'll say, I'll change it, I'll change it.
	I'm looking forward to, I'll confidently, I mean I won't confidently say it, but I'm looking forward to the high possibility that Blake Masters is going to lose because I don't like that guy.
	He's weird.
	He's weird and he's weird looking.
	The thing I really love about that more than just him losing is the fact that he's one of Peter Thiel's two bitches.
	Yeah.
	And Arizona's becoming more blue.
	I mean, it has two blue senators currently.
	Biden won it.
	So you can see kind of like Arizona might not be the best place for that kind of like Peter Thiel monster.
	But the fact that J.D.
	Vance is just stepping on his dick over and over and over again in Ohio When like Ohio's like after Obama won it twice, Ohio was like, wait a minute.
	We voted for that guy twice.
	Holy shit.
	We need to go blood red.
	We need to go crazy.
	So like Trump won Ohio easily both elections.
	It's pretty conservative now.
	And yet JD Vance is going to throw Peter Thiel's money into a fireplace and lose to generic Democrat in Ohio is fucking hilarious to me.
	So yeah.
	Did you see when Blake Masters praised Ted Kaczynski?
	Yep.
	Oh, yeah.
	It's like, I don't think you're going to win.
	And didn't he come out like he said something about like vasectomies or masturbation because he was like just aggressively like so he's he's against birth control.
	Yeah.
	Right.
	Yeah.
	He's just gets everything.
	He's just a total nut.
	I mean, he's got he got mad at the journalist who reported about that.
	And it's like, it's on your website.
	Yeah, just God.
	That's why I love it.
	Again, I just love how out of touch these people are.
	And then they're like, hey, how can you possibly hate my positions?
	I love America.
	And it's like, but you gotta have positions on stuff and your positions suck, buddy.
	So yeah.
	I love the war on contraception and birth control and abortion.
	It's just like, I mean, not to put too fine a point on it, but did nobody give these guys the memo that it feels better if you can do it inside without a baby always happening?
	Like, you get all the fun, the maximum amount of fun for the minimum amount of penalty?
	Like, do I have to draw these guys a fucking diagram?
	Like, what is wrong with you?
	Yeah, it's just a super sick thing that's all about control.
	And it's just like, they are controlling women, but at the same time, like, Women are allowed to deal with their world.
	They're allowed to deal with these things.
	And then a woman's just like, hey, you can't have sex with me if you're not wearing a condom.
	And now the guy is like, oh man, boo, condom.
	And it's like, yeah, guess what?
	That's what happens when you try to take away all my other forms of birth control and all the other ways I have to regulate this shit.
	And they even are going after the condoms!
	Like some woman ran into a Walgreens.
	It's happened twice now.
	A person's run into a Walgreens.
	Like, hey, can I get a pack of condoms?
	And the clerk was like, this violates my morality.
	I will not sell you condoms.
	And then they had to go get a different clerk to ring in the condom order.
	And it's like...
	How the fuck do you have, like, how does Walgreens have a morality policy?
	And how many, uh, how many stores have that?
	Am I allowed to work at a Chick-fil-A and not sell chicken because I'm a vegan?
	Be like, Hey, I'd like a number one.
	Can't sell you a number one.
	Sorry.
	I can sell you fries and a drink, but if you want any of the burgers or nuggets, it's my priority.
	Someone else has to ring it in.
	I just get to stand by this.
	I get to stand at the end of the Chick-fil-A all day.
	Just watch other people do my job for me because my morality makes them do it.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, or your business could just be arbitrarily closed on Sundays for no reason, because you're used to fucking morality.
	So weird.
	Hey, they want to lose money by not being open on Sundays?
	Fuck them, idiots!
	This is where we're at, Mike.
	They're immune to logical arguments, and they're immune to rational arguments, and you can't really appeal to their empathy, so we have to crawl down in the mud with them and just appeal to their sense of just being like, Condoms are lame, and nobody really likes them, and babies are a pretty high penalty for sex if it happens every time.
	So like, come on guys!
	Let's just be cool!
	No, they refuse to be cool.
	I hate them so much!
	Anyway, we got wildly off topic here at the very end.
	I know, I'm sorry.
	Oh no, no, no!
	It's the most episode 100 thing to have possibly happened.
	We're on our way out, we're doing the transition thing, and then boom.
	Five minutes of ranting about how stupid it is that conservatives hate birth control and abortion.
	It's just incredibly dumb.
	Damn you, Blake Masters.
	All right.
	Yeah, fuck you, Blake Masters.
	Apparently, you're weird looking.
	I've never seen him.
	But with a name like Blake Masters, I just assumed Aryan.
	Anyway.
	That's very correct.
	So nice.
	Excellent.
	Well, for our what-others episode, I prepared us these incredible jetpacks, which we're going to strap onto our backs and then blast out of Hellworld, zoom, and we're flying away.
	Thank you, everybody, for listening and for supporting the show.
	100 episodes.
	If I didn't make it clear yet, this is the 100th episode.
	Who knew?
	And hopefully many more to come as long as people keep supporting us.
	Thank you so much for listening, and especially a big thank you for Hayley for filling in for Sarge, who sadly couldn't be here with us.
	Before we get into the bulk of the shilling and everybody leaves, where can people find you on the social media if they want more Hayley content about Arizona?
	Did we get into what Mike was looking forward to?
	No, I skipped it, because fuck Mike.
	Oh.
	Yeah, fuck me.
	Well, let's tell the people where they can find you.
	This is the price they have to pay to hear what Mike is like.
	You can find me at Twitter, at AZ underscore RWW, Arizona Right Wing Watch.
	Yeah, that's me.
	Okay.
	Wonderful.
	Okay, yeah, so we got our tangent trampled over what Mike was looking forward to.
	He looks sad!
	I don't want to leave him hanging.
	He always sort of looks sad.
	Coincidentally, what he was looking forward to was a lighthearted discussion about abortion rights.
	Kind of.
	He got one, so he didn't need to interject.
	Anyway, Mike, what are you looking forward to, buddy?
	Mostly just fantasy football because I haven't played it in so long and I'm finally back in this year and I'm going to be losing in brutal spectacular fashion and hating it.
	Because what I've learned in my life is that if you don't get angry at your hobby, it's not a good hobby.
	That's the most important part of your hobbies is being upset about them.
	I'm here for it, and I can't wait.
	I mean, me and Elle have played a game called Blood Bowl, and you've never seen human beings get madder at dice than people playing a game of Blood Bowl, so yes.
	I literally quit playing the video game because I became actually convinced that the RNG algorithm in the game was fucked up.
	I was just like, there's no possible way I am this unlucky.
	So yes, I'm an idiot, and Blood Bowl makes me furious, is the moral of that story.
	That's good stuff.
	How many different leagues are you in or whatever?
	Two.
	So I'm in the Hellworld League, which I'll be making more public.
	I've had people secretly joining the Hellworld League, and now I'm going to make that more public this week so we can fill people in.
	And then I have a real-life league that I'm also filling in for, so that's going to be fun.
	Nice.
	Who doesn't love gambling?
	Certainly not Mike.
	Yes!
	He is poker and politics after all, so he likes those two things.
	Damn right.
	And poker is technically gambling, even though it's the most skilled gambling of them all.
	Okay, so now it is time for us to continue our wonderful outro, and I was in the process of thanking Haley for joining us, and in the process of thanking you, the listener, for listening to us.
	If you'd like to continue to support us, you can leave us a five-star review wherever you're getting your podcasts, or if you have money, you can donate it to us at patreon.com.
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	Other examples include supporting the Ukraine in their defense of their country against Russia, or helping any blue candidate in any race that has any weight anywhere, because that is what we are about on this show.
	Thank you for DJ Minimal Effort.
	No social media for DJ Minimal Effort, but they have provided our intro that we use every week and we love them, so they get shoutouts into the void.
	Our buddy Frosty, who does all of our voiceover work when we need it, cue and on voice all of our bumps, all of our intros and stuff like that.
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