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Aug. 11, 2022 - Adventures in HellwQrld

01:34:50

Adventures in HellwQrld Episode #99: Karizona and Trump raid with Haley.

This week, Haley, L, and Mike talk about Ron Watkins fleeing to the land down under, Dark Brandon, Karizona, and the raid on Trump's home. It's both a hoot and a holler! Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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	Content Warning.
	The Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in depth about QAnon, which means we have to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people.
	Listener discretion advised.
	Hello, everybody.
	I am Mike Rains, a.k.a.
	Poker and Politics, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld.
	This week, I am joined by Haley, a.k.a.
	Arizona Right Wing Watch.
	Hello!
	And the mysterious Elle.
	Hello, my beautiful babies!
	For those of you who didn't have the theater, who were doing the theater of the mind thing and don't have Hayley on cam as I do, she waved at us.
	She gave us a very polite wave to let everyone know she had arrived on the podcast.
	Very nice.
	All the listeners don't want to know the stuff I'm doing with my hands when I'm saying the words.
	Which I think implies that I'm masterbating, but it could just as easily be some sort of salute you don't want to be doing.
	It could be all manner of offensive hand gestures.
	A little sting?
	Yeah, or maybe just dabbing, like this was two years ago.
	I'm just constantly frozen in a dab pose like a Greek statue.
	You're the world's worst weeping angel or whatever that Doctor Who monster was.
	Instead of just covering your eyes with your hands, you got the dab going.
	No way.
	A thousand years from now, people will just be like, and behold, Rodan's the dabber.
	And it's just me.
	Yes!
	Please, that's what we want for fan art for the podcast, so anyone who wants to make L as a giant dabbing statue.
	Yeah, so anybody that would like to sculpt an incredible statue of L dabbing, just go ahead and do that.
	Just for the fact that you don't know what I look like.
	Just imagine it.
	Yeah, just picture it.
	Picture it in your head.
	Just go for it.
	Just go hard.
	He's basically a Greek Adonis, so you've got the template all set up right there.
	Yeah.
	Or, I mean, it would be closer if you were to just carve a statue of the Michelin Man dabbing.
	That'd be great.
	I'd take that also.
	Yeah.
	I mean, as fat as conservatives mock Mike Rance for being Boy Howdy, if only they knew.
	If only they knew the blob that was on the other side of the studio's bell.
	Their minds, they would reel!
	So, we've had enough fun and frivolity here, but there's more fun and frivolity to be had in the Amuse Bouche.
	It's time for a light sampling of insanity.
	Get ready for the Amuse Bouche!
	Okay, so I'm excited to talk about our first Amuse Bouche Talking Point for the week, because when I saw that it was happening, I thought it was a bit.
	I thought that at any moment Nathan Felder was going to come out and just be like, HAHA I GOTCHA!
	But no, of course not, because why would he be involved in any of this CPAC bullshit?
	So our first Amuse Bouche for the week is going to be us discussing what I have in our headline show notes as quote-unquote The Art of Crying, by which we're going to talk about that quote-unquote art installation piece where January 6th jumpsuit guy cried in a cell for all people who cared to watch, which for me would be incredible because I would just stay there the whole time just like eating popcorn and just like talking to the guy and just like razzling him.
	But no, Marjorie Taylor Greene showed up.
	She prayed with him.
	It was very weird.
	Mike, what's up?
	What's up with the art of crying?
	So the best part of the art of crying, besides literally all of it, is that the guy who was our performance artist in it, Brandon Stroka.
	I don't know if I got his last name right.
	Stroka.
	I don't want to get his last name wrong.
	He was at the Cary Lake event literally the night before.
	Aw, just doing the rounds!
	That guy is just in the right-wing grift community.
	Now, if you don't know what this guy's original schtick was, this guy was the quote-unquote founder of the walk-away movement, which was all about like telling libs that, yo, the Democratic Party has abandoned you, they suck, you should leave them and join the Republican Party because it's fucking awesome, it's so cool, and That was how he tried to get himself ingratiated into conservative right-wing circles.
	Yeah, walk a flock away.
	Yes, exactly.
	And then he showed up in the January 6th insurrection, did some shit, and the best part about all of this was he was and is a snitch.
	Yep.
	Simone Gold, a right-wing grifter, ivermectin promoter, just COVID anti-vaxxer truther, just an absolute piece of shit garbage human being.
	She got 60 days at a club fed for her participation in the insurrection, and she was furious about it because, like, rich white women don't go to prison when they commit crimes.
	What are you talking about?
	Yeah, remember when the first wave of these January 6th idiots had to go to jail and everyone was just like, guys, you know, jail seems real bad.
	I feel so bad for these guys.
	Jail seems like not a fun time.
	It's like, yeah, well, it's never been a fun time, you fucking idiots.
	That's why people aren't supposed to do crime.
	Right.
	That's the whole point of the deterrent system, that it sucks to go to jail.
	And the best part of this whole thing was that federal prosecutors said that they were able to really, like, nail Gold of Chargers to make her take a deal, because if she didn't, she was going to get convicted.
	A lot because Mr. Crying CPAC guy gave them information about what she did.
	He was, like, one of their lead sources.
	That like helped put her behind bars for 60 days.
	And because he was such a good snitch, he only got probation.
	So he's like play acting as a one six criminal when he literally was helping put them behind bars.
	He was literally getting them jail time so he could skate.
	And then he was like, well, Mike, it's like, you know, when Da Vinci painted the Mona Lisa, he had the woman pose.
	So he had to put people in prison for this so that he could do his art.
	It couldn't be him, because if he was actually in prison, that's not art.
	That's just prison.
	Yes, exactly.
	That's not art.
	That's just prison.
	That's another one of our golden quotes that needs to be part of the show.
	That's going to be some more of our esoteric merch that doesn't exist.
	Right, exactly.
	It's like, what does that shirt even mean?
	And people are just like, I don't know.
	It just sounded interesting, and I like the podcast, so whatever.
	I just threw him a few bucks.
	It's fine.
	So yeah.
	Of course, you do this thing, and they had people around his little fake cell praying for him.
	And then Marjorie Taylor Greene came into the cell and prayed with him.
	And people, of course, like slapped Brazier's logos on it because it looked really weird and creepy.
	But we're also drawing in money.
	Did you see that?
	I think that's Brazzers.
	Brazier is a thing.
	Brazier is what cups the boobies.
	Yes, that's how I always said it.
	I guess I was razzled by their name of that porn company.
	Yeah, you're getting razzled and brazzled.
	Yes!
	Wordplay.
	Damn it.
	God damn it.
	I'm so- People were throwing cash at this guy in his cell?
	Yeah!
	Yes!
	They were like handing him cash and throwing it at him.
	Like donos?
	Or like he was a stripper?
	Both.
	Yes, fair enough.
	I mean, that would have been the thing, Will, that would have been real interesting if he just like, had like another bar descends from the center of the cell, and he just starts getting real sexy with it.
	And he's incredibly skilled!
	He's just wildly good at it.
	He's got all the tricks down.
	He's just got his one leg looped around it.
	He's just like centrifugal forcing it in like a circle and everyone's like, woo!
	So yeah, that was the photo that people were using is like, quote unquote, the porn shot was MTG kneeling before him at her feet.
	You could see a $20 bill.
	So if you wanted to like put two and two together and come up with some nefarious situation here, this looks like a sex act has been paid for and is now about to be initiated between this John and his sex worker.
	And it's in, like, a cage with people watching.
	It is in a cage.
	It's, like, holo-media-ism.
	Yeah, it's this total swinger club where, yeah, oh my god.
	See, I'm not going to lie.
	When I saw the photo, I didn't notice the money on the ground, which is why I was surprised that people were throwing in cash.
	So I just saw that, and I was just like, eh, yeah, she's kneeling in front of, she could be going for some fillet, but this is, like, kind of a reach.
	The money opens, I mean, wow, that really opens it up to interpretation.
	That's buck wild.
	Yeah.
	Yes.
	It is good performance art, though, because we're talking about it, you know?
	Oh, yeah.
	Yeah, we're talking about it.
	We're talking about it and we're all just like, gee, what a powerful piece that really stirred my emotions.
	It certainly did.
	Oh, yeah.
	Gee, what a dumb fuck loser.
	It is an interesting piece for the reasons that they don't think.
	Yeah.
	I'm dead serious.
	I'm dead serious.
	If that guy ever wants to, if he ever wants to collaborate, if he will allow me to set up on the outside of his cage and just laugh and eat popcorn and make fun of him and high five other people as they walk by, we can collab on that art piece.
	I'd be happy to do it.
	Bring it to a Democratic convention, bro.
	Let's roll it out.
	He's going to bring it here and I'm going to fucking go.
	I'm going to go make fun of him.
	That'd be great.
	But the thing is, I'm a big enough guy where I probably don't have to deal with some conservative idiot trying to fight me on sight if I'm making fun of the guy, so I could probably get a little bit of time out of it.
	I could set up a little director's chair, and just have the popcorn going, and just be eating it, and when people walk by I could just be like, this fucking guy.
	Yeah.
	You see this fucking idiot?
	You know what he did?
	He did a fucking insurrection.
	He tried to topple America's government and he's sad he went to jail for it.
	He thought he was going to get away.
	He's a snitch.
	And other people who are actually in real prisons are there because of him.
	This fucking piss baby.
	Yeah, it's not really the crowd to be the snitch in, you know?
	Yeah.
	I just love that.
	I love that literally this guy snitched and then he gets to go to CPAC and do his performance art and everyone's okay with it.
	It's just like, my God, there's no shame in that crowd.
	Like literally none.
	It's so wild how absolutely willing they are to accept anybody.
	They're like, Hey, Brandon, we know that you, you know, like, Turn state's evidence against a few people and put them in jail.
	But CPAC's really hurting for entertainment.
	So if you want to get your fake prison in here and do a little weepy cry-y, we're down.
	Uh-oh, Mike.
	Did somebody say Brandon?
	We forgot to actually add it to the show notes, but okay.
	Segway away from this idiot because we already talked about it for like eight minutes or whatever.
	Fuck that guy and his stupid art piece.
	Can't wait to make fun of him if I ever get to see it in person.
	It'll be great.
	I'll get into many fights.
	It'll be incredible.
	And then I will hope to be bailed out of any sticky situation I get into by our new lord and saver and the most recent steward of the Chuck Norris meme, Dark Brandon.
	Love Dark Brandon.
	I mean, Like any meme, it's going to wear out its welcome in like a week or two, but for a week or two, I am happy that we have co-opted the enemy's stupid shit to make our own funny meme about how incredible Joe Biden is.
	Mike, for the people at home, you want to give a breakdown of The Darkest of Brandons?
	So for those of you who don't live in an absolute cesspool that is the internet, the whole let's go Brandon thing was a coded way to say fuck Joe Biden because apparently conservatives are like worried about profanity and sounding mean.
	And Because of the Lord?
	Oh yes, because of the Lord.
	Because of the Lord and his delicate Lord ears?
	Oh yeah, the Lord who, you know, in the Old Testament just murdered everybody because he felt like it.
	He can't deal with swearing, but murder, great.
	They were doing their dumb, let's go Brandon shit, and then left-wing people co-opted it.
	And basically what happened, the flashpoint of all of this was, is Biden put out a tweet that was basically, yo, gas companies, what the fuck?
	You're raking America over the coals and oil prices are going down.
	This is bullshit.
	And obviously it was not because of this tweet, but literally gas prices have fell every single day since that tweet got posted by the president.
	Gas is down like a dollar a gallon.
	Nobody's saying shit about it.
	Gas prices high?
	Joe Biden is the worst.
	Gas prices back low again?
	Ignore that.
	Joe Biden has nothing to do with that.
	Right.
	Or, as Fox News did, they interviewed mom-and-pop gas stations going, is gas going down too quickly?
	What's happening to the small business person in America who had a gas station?
	What's Biden become?
	I don't know if I'm supposed to feed my kids!
	I only sell a gas at $3.50 a gallon!
	Exactly.
	So, that happened, and then, of course, we got the CHIPS Act passed, the PAC Act passed, we killed the leader of Al-Qaeda, All kinds of good stuff has been going Team Democrat and Team Biden's way.
	So people have been kind of like crowing about the things that are happening here.
	Oh yeah, by the way, the IRA is going to pass very soon.
	And so people are like, well, Biden's kicking ass.
	So how do we like...
	Celebrate that, how do we point that out?
	So they took the Brandon thing and they turned him into Dark Brandon and he is now basically like some version of Batman and just a general shit-kicking badass who is gonna end all the malarkey.
	He's just as powerful as the joke demands at the time, like Chuck Norris and Ultra Instinct Shaggy before him.
	Dark Brandon is just Do you want your meme to be Joe Biden powering up and going
	super saiyan like Son Goku? Well, then Dark Brandon is as powerful as Son
	Goku.
	Do you want him to be devouring the world like Galactus?
	Well then Dark Brandon is as powerful as Galactus.
	He is whatever you want him to be.
	Yes. He's very malleable that way. Yes. And, um, uh, I, and also like, I just like, uh, I saw one that was using a
	Batman poster, but like, instead of the bat symbol, it was an ice cream
	cone.
	Cause Biden does love his ice cream.
	So they've, they're finding all these ways to like put this kind of stuff out there.
	I remember the weird Coney Island TikTok stuff where the guy called Biden, Brandon, no, Biden, Byron.
	That's what they call them.
	And like, uh, Biden and the White House did a riff on that.
	They had the Jonas Brothers do a TikTok video with them and stuff like that.
	So the Biden White House knows this shit and they're posting the dark Brandon memes too.
	And I'm seeing people going, Oh, you're trying to get in on this.
	You know, there's Nazi connotations to this shit.
	It's like, you know what?
	Fuck off.
	Everyone does the laser eyes for everyone nowadays.
	The laser eyes were a fash wave.
	That was a thing, but Now, every person on the internet who someone loves gets laser eyes.
	That's just how this works.
	And so, as my favorite villain in the universe Syndrome once said, if everyone has laser eyes, then nobody does.
	So you don't have to worry about it.
	It's not a big deal.
	So, but if you guys want to piss and moan about having your memes stolen and made cool for libs, because now it's cringe!
	Yeah, that's what everything becomes.
	Everything's cringe in the end.
	So don't worry about it.
	Get over yourself.
	I also love seeing the people complaining about where they're just like, wow, these are the sort of things that I would post non-ironically and now the stupid libs are posting it ironically.
	What a bunch of idiots.
	It's just like, well, that's just because you guys are too stupid to actually be on the right side of it.
	So if it seems foolish to you, because you are the fool!
	Yes!
	So that's great.
	I love a little dark Brandon.
	We don't have to dwell on it for too long, but for those of you who have not experienced the darkest of Brandons, do a little Google search or whatever.
	Just pull up some of the images and videos.
	They're pretty funny.
	And that one video has a soundtrack that slaps.
	I believe it's Carpenter Brew?
	It's one of those cool synth or dark wave bands, and it slaps, so gotta love that.
	I love the ending of the video that I saw where they just smash cut the two clips of Biden saying, for those of you who voted for Trump, there is no escape.
	And then he just gives a big smile.
	It's just like so perfectly done.
	It's just like, yep, he's coming for you, dark brain, it's coming.
	We all voted in the last election.
	We knew we were voting for somebody who was incredibly powerful and charismatic.
	We were all just like, we love Joe Biden.
	There was no other choice.
	This is the guy.
	We all love him 100%.
	There's no question about it.
	And that was just the way it was.
	Okay, so moving right along to talk about other people that are stupid and or foolish, let's talk about aspiring drongo, Ron Watkins.
	Now, I didn't expect all of our listeners to know what a drongo is.
	A drongo, it is Australian slang for somebody who is stupid or foolish.
	Now, Mike, why would I be applying Australian slang to our friend, Ron Watkins?
	It appears that our boy Ron Watkins, who totally didn't flee America while he was on his way to losing an election for Congress, apparently has set up shop in Australia.
	Yeah, so our boy Watkins, we have visual evidence of him just hanging out in Australia.
	And apparently this was a week before the Arizona primary vote came in.
	My belief that we all should have rallied behind Ron Watkins and voted for him to make him the Republican nominee seems even more appropriate, because he would have had to have literally come back to America, because he was halfway across the globe a week before the election, just having thrown in the towel, just having totally quit, or possibly actually ducking a subpoena from the 1-6 committee.
	Do we know what this Yahoo source of income is?
	How could he afford to just decide to live in a different country at the drop of his Wagyu cowboy hat?
	Like, he's from Japan, he is running for office in America, failing that, he just leaves and fucks off to Australia for a while.
	First of all, how many of these countries actually want walk-ins?
	Probably none of them.
	But at the very least, he has the money to make these attempts.
	Is he just, like, actually sick with computer programming or stuff?
	Like, what's the deal?
	Where's his money coming from?
	It has to be coming from his pop-pop.
	I mean, the only job he's had that anyone knows about is him being, like, quote-unquote, admin of 8kun.
	So, like, he works for his dad.
	And, I mean, I don't know exactly how Jim Watkins is wealthy.
	I mean, he's just a weird dude who runs all sorts of, like, odd scams.
	The dude got bought out by Nintendo because he made a gay porn site called Pokey Man, and Nintendo didn't want that stink on Pokemon, so they cut him a check.
	I mean, he's like, Jim's a weird internet grifter guy who, have you struck it rich through that shit?
	The shit with 2chan and all that kind of stuff.
	I mean, Jim's just fucking... His story is a very bizarre one.
	So he is the Joseph Smith to QAnon's Mormonism.
	He's like a known grifter that started a movement that somehow took off, despite the fact that if you just followed the receipts, you can get to the end point and just be like, hey, this person is a grifter.
	Yes, yeah, it's just like, you're like, look, this guy's an obvious con man.
	There's no two ways about it.
	And everyone's like, no man, he has golden plates.
	I mean, we're not allowed to see them, but why would he, why would the obvious scripture lie about the golden plates?
	That doesn't make any sense.
	I mean, so yeah.
	Now I say a country with liberalism is a little like a mule with a spinning wheel.
	Exactly!
	God.
	Okay, so do we know why Australia and why Ron did not just flee back to his native homeland
	of Japan?
	That I haven't heard anything about.
	She likes the aesthetic of Arizona, so he chose Australia.
	He chose... He was like, God, I can't... I need more Arizona.
	Now that I've experienced crushing heat, I can't live without it.
	I need to move to Australia, where they have long since destroyed their ozone layer.
	They were trying to work on Perpetual Fall back when that was still a prototype phase.
	Yeah, Australia was the beta testing for climate change and just living in a country that is just nothing but deserts, flat deserts and just baking sun.
	That's Arizona.
	Yeah, but you can have that in country form if you just go to Australia.
	Fuck having it as just one little tiny state in America.
	Just have it everywhere.
	Like, literally, until you make it to the coasts of Australia, you just get to bake.
	You just get to sizzle.
	I mean, that's why... All the fun of Arizona, United States of America, without any of the subpoenas.
	Arizona, United States of America.
	Yes, exactly.
	I mean, that's like the ultimate risk-reward for Ron.
	I mean, it's perfect.
	It's an absolute perfect setup for the man.
	So I can't see how he would have refused it.
	Fucking win-win for the boy.
	Okay, well, at some point we'll have to talk to Karma about how she feels about Rod Watkins invading her country.
	He's a madman.
	He can't be stopped.
	He just invades other people's country and, like, slightly ruins them.
	And he deleted all his Australia conspiracy posts last night.
	Did you see that?
	No, I didn't know he had Australia Conspiracy.
	Yeah, I was sending Karma some, I was like memeing at her and sending him his Australia post and then I was gonna resend them and I was looking for him like, what the fuck is this bitch deleting like right now?
	So wait, what were his conspiracy theories about Australia?
	Well, don't you remember when Australia fell?
	Oh, right.
	It's the conquest, like the COVID lockdowns made Australia into a police state.
	Yeah, he was big into that.
	Oh, which I'm going to play the Cues in the News bump so we can talk about that right away with you, because that's your neck of the woods there, Ailey.
	From the digital headlines to the digital front lines, it's Cues in the News.
	So speaking of people who talked about Australia falling, let's talk about one of the two people that could be your new governor in the state of Arizona, Carrie Lake, who went on Australia in 60 Minutes and told them, hey guys, your country fell because you don't have the Second Amendment and guns.
	Also, if I was keeping track on Twitter the other day, I believe that not only has Australia fallen, which I did forget about, but that would explain why the Queen of Earth has given them a new, has decreed that they have a new ruler.
	Like, both Australia and New Zealand, you are now ruled by this person, according to Queen of Earth, previously Queen of Canada, whatever that lady's name is.
	Uh, apparently today, it's either today or tomorrow, she's gonna start a citizen's arrest campaign.
	Like, her followers are supposed to start citizen's arrest people that displease her.
	Good, fuck around and find out.
	I mean, hopefully the danger to the people that are involved, like, isn't too great, but...
	At some point, if all these people want to get all up in their feels and supercharge at the rhetoric and maybe call themselves to action, it's just like, well, then just fucking do it.
	I mean, we'll get into this later in the podcast.
	But I would like for many of these people to get to the finding out part of fucking around.
	But that's neither here nor there for the moment.
	Let's talk about Karazona for a while.
	Yep.
	Haley has just put a finger gun to her head and pulled the trigger, by the way.
	Just thinking of the magic of her new governor, QAnon's favorite candidate, the beloved Carrie Lake.
	So what's it like on the ground there in Carizona?
	Okay, first of all, did you see that Liz Crokan post the night that she won?
	The night that Carrie won?
	And Liz was like, a tree caught fire here that night.
	Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Oh, so the best part about this is Liz Crokan posted this shit about a lightning bolt hitting a tree in Arizona and setting it on fire as a sign of God's celebration of Carrie Lake's victory.
	And then she mentioned that a lightning bolt also hit in Washington, D.C.
	and injured people.
	And QAnon celebrated this shit so much.
	And then it came out that someone died from the lightning strike in Washington, D.C.
	Three people.
	Three people died?
	Yeah.
	Okay, I knew the first guy died.
	I didn't hear about the other two.
	I knew four people had been hit and injured, but three of them died.
	So God is just killing people with lightning bolts in celebration of Carrie Lake's victory.
	And everyone's like, way to go, God!
	Killing random people!
	What we always wanted!
	We're back to the Old Testament!
	I'd love for them all to just be like rooting and they're just like,
	Fuck yeah, Christian God getting the job done! We love Christian God!
	And Zeus is just like, What the fuck do I have to do?
	Christian God is like patting him on the back, he's just like, It's okay buddy.
	And he's like, But this is my thing!
	I'm literally Zeus!
	What the fuck?
	Why?
	How do you get credit for everything?
	And Christian gods are like, monotheism, bro.
	It's the greatest.
	It's the sweetest thing.
	You get to be the god of everything.
	You guys really should have tried it.
	And Zeus is like, we didn't even think of that back in the day.
	And apparently, everything good gets attributed to you, and everything bad gets attributed to... just wait for it to get good.
	Trust the plan.
	It'll happen anytime soon, don't you worry.
	Right, oh yeah.
	God works in mysterious ways, and his celebrations involve killing random people for no good reason.
	I actually saw one QAnon promoter talking about that lightning bolt, explaining that they were like, hey, wait a minute, maybe this lightning bolt's a cover story for all those ambulances and vehicles all near the White House.
	I think something's up.
	And it's like, yeah, people got hit with a lightning bolt, and 911 got called, and they were put in ambulances and taken to hospitals.
	It didn't, and it went bad for a lot of them.
	It was really, it was really bad.
	But you idiots think that like something happened, like that Joe Biden like was like stroking out or something
	and they had to cover it up with the cover story of a lightning attack.
	It's like, oh my God.
	These people.
	I just love the idea that the Christian God is just as ineffectual as Yoda in the new Star Wars movies
	where it's just like, they just waited until this random seeming time to actually be like,
	hey, I exist and I can shoot lightning and destroy stuff if I want to.
	It's just like, God didn't decide that Joe Biden winning the election
	or Obama winning the election or any of this other stuff that all these conservative Christians hate.
	Like that was no lightning bolts there.
	Certainly no lightning bolt to kill Joe Biden or whatever.
	It's like, no, no, no.
	Carrie Lake is getting the governorship.
	Now it's time to show them that I rule with my simultaneous lightning strikes.
	Yeah, and it's a Republican primary.
	Like, what's God gonna do if she wins the general?
	Like, literally burn Arizona to the ground in celebration?
	He's like, my girl did it!
	Boom!
	It's gonna be literal Sodom and Gomorrah, only it's gonna be Phoenix and some other city in Arizona.
	I only know Phoenix.
	Tucson.
	Tucson, yeah.
	Yeah, Tucson.
	The other city in Arizona.
	That's their slogan.
	Welcome to Tucson, the other city in Arizona.
	Truly.
	And I'm allowed to laugh at this joke because I lived in Nevada for five years, and Nevada has Las Vegas and Reno and nothing else.
	So that's it.
	Yeah, well, Reno's slogan is the Tucson of Nevada.
	Exactly.
	Okay, so we sort of got off track.
	Talk about lightning.
	So what is the timber of Arizona like, as far as you can tell, now that Carrie Lake's got a little bit more juice than maybe we all had hoped?
	Well, man, so she's barely kind of squeaked in that win.
	She was down by 10 points the night of, if you were watching her I don't know.
	Oh yeah!
	Yeah, on Right Side Broadcasting Network.
	She was down by 10 points, so the vibes were kind of down, you know?
	Everybody was like sad and then also pretty fucking angry and ready to like start every conspiracy.
	They were already like saying every election conspiracy you could think of.
	Oh God, QAnon was talking about how that shit was rigged.
	Greg Phillips.
	That's just mainstream here.
	I know.
	Our boy Greg in his dumb beard, he was like, he's like, this stinks.
	There's something terribly wrong about this.
	And it's like, hey, she won.
	I just, I love the fact that these pricks pissed and moaned about the, like, we knew the Red Mirage was a real thing on election night in 2020.
	And these, these assholes pissing and moaning about the 3am ballot dump and all this stuff.
	Guess how Carrie Lake won?
	Yeah, she had 1am ballot dumps because I stayed up.
	Right, right, exactly.
	Yeah, yeah, you got it at 1am.
	I'm on the East Coast.
	I saw the 4th Valley put her up that gave her the lead over Robson.
	And then I was like, God damn it.
	Because the thing was, like, I knew it was coming because she was just kept creeping and creeping.
	And I knew she was gonna catch her.
	And then it happened.
	And I was like, ah, fuck, now I can go to bed.
	But it's just that it's just the fact that Literally, these idiots are just arguing about the procedure for tabulating votes.
	And basically, in this case, the early votes in Arizona were counted ahead of time, where Robson's early votes got counted basically the day of the election.
	They were in the bank.
	Once the polls closed, they were able to hit the button and put up the early votes.
	And with the early votes, Robson had the big lead.
	And then the late votes came in and overtook her and won.
	In 2020, it was the exact opposite, where all these Republican states rigged it so the early votes couldn't be counted until later.
	So it was Election Day votes only, and oh look, Trump's in the lead!
	And then they started cracking open those envelopes with all the mail-in votes, and oh no, Biden beat him!
	Holy shit!
	And that's why the Republicans- Mules, etc.
	Yes, yes.
	Mules, etc.
	And that's why the Republicans did that, because they knew They knew if all those states were allowed to just open those mail-in ballots and tabulate them from Jump Street, when they hit enter on election night after the polls closed, everyone would be like, holy shit, Biden has a massive lead.
	Trump's election day vote better cut into it or he's fucked.
	And Trump would get close, get close, get close, oops, ran out of votes, Biden wins, womp, womp.
	So the only way they could ever put Trump in the lead at the start Yeah, because in Arizona, we have mail-in ballots.
	We've had it since I've been born.
	We literally always have mail-in ballots.
	So you've been rigging elections now for a while.
	And that's what they actually did in Arizona, but it just turned out that Kerry had enough
	election day voting to overcome it and win.
	Yeah, because in Arizona, we have mail-in ballots.
	We've had it since I've been born.
	We literally always have mail-in ballots.
	Oh, so you've been rigging elections now for a while.
	Yeah, a long time.
	Yeah.
	You're like- It's done by like 90% of our state.
	It's super easy to vote here generally for most people.
	Yeah, if I lived in Arizona, I wouldn't want to go outside either.
	It's like 120 degrees.
	But because there's all the conspiracies about mail-in ballots now, a lot of Republicans didn't want to mail in their ballot early, so they all just voted day of.
	So that's why there was a huge chunk of day of voters, because they were like, we don't trust the mail-ins.
	There was a ton of conspiracies about the ballot boxes.
	Some people got harassed at the ballot boxes here.
	That's good.
	That's a very healthy thing.
	Oh yeah, there was a lot of really healthy things for democracy happening on our election day.
	Did you hear about the Pentel incident?
	Nope.
	I want to hear that.
	Tell us.
	Uh, one of the, one of the ladies that's working with Austin Steinbart, um, Gail Golick.
	Yep.
	She's running or she was running for the Maricopa board.
	Um, she lost, thankfully.
	I was worried about that one.
	Really having baby Q on your staff was a bad sign.
	Maybe you weren't running a serious campaign.
	She was, she got closer than his other candidates that he was running.
	He had a candidate for governor too.
	Oh my god.
	Carrie Lake wasn't nuts enough for Baby Q. Baby Q needed someone stronger than Carrie Lake.
	Oh my God.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	So, uh, Gail Golick, um, okay.
	So they wanted people on a day of voting to vote with the pens that they were providing,
	you know, at the voting.
	Right.
	Oh, yeah.
	This is a redo of Sharpie Gate, isn't it?
	Yeah, a little bit.
	So they said, like, please don't bring your own pen.
	Please use the pen provided for you.
	And people were like, why the fuck are you telling us to use the pen that you're providing us?
	What's up with the pen?
	Cause they're Chinese pens that will change your vote.
	Literally, literally fucking literally.
	Yeah.
	Um, so Gail Golick was like, Hey everybody, just steal the pens.
	She's running for office here, and people started stealing the pens.
	There was an incident at one of the places.
	They didn't have enough pens because so many people were stealing them.
	So she's running for office.
	I mean, I know that pens are sort of like small ball in terms of the sort of thing that you can steal.
	Oh, she got a cease and desist.
	Stealing those is still a crime, right?
	And certainly mobilizing people to commit a crime.
	Yeah, it's election interference.
	On top of just theft, right?
	It's literally just like, go to this election office and steal their boxes of stuff.
	Like, I don't think a political candidate could say that, because that's literally mobilizing people to crime.
	But Trump did the same fucking thing on January 6th, and apparently like 48% of the country doesn't think that's a crime either, so what do I know?
	For real.
	God, yeah.
	Yeah, so we had a little pen gate.
	Penthelgate, that's what they call it.
	Oh, God.
	I just love that your state went from Sharpie gate to pen gate to just writing instrument gate.
	It's just, you can't help yourselves.
	All right, get the Cyber Ninjas back in here.
	Yes!
	For real.
	Somebody hit the Cyber Ninjas signal and shine it up into the sky so that they know their services are needed to the two to two million taxpayer dollars again.
	Yeah.
	Oh God.
	And my favorite part about that is they did this grift.
	They did this scam.
	And then they came back and said, you know what?
	Biden won by even more than we thought he did.
	And no one, I haven't, I mean, I'm sure at the time there was anger against them, but no one talks about cyber ninjas anymore.
	You've got fucking Dinesh and True The Vote and all these people talking about all this corruption in Arizona will be revealed.
	And it's like, Are you going to go at Cyber Ninjas?
	Because they have to be part of the corruption.
	They literally have to be in on the plot because they verified Maricopa County.
	Patrick Byrne, Mike Lindell, I think Michael Flynn, all of these shitheads had PACs that were raising money for Cyber Ninjas to do this audit.
	Every fucking right-wing shithead had their finger in that pie.
	And then when they cooked the pie, the pie said, guess what?
	Dark Brandon wins again!
	And he won by more votes than you thought he did.
	If they were intellectually honest, which none of them are, or ever will be, literally, True to Vote has to be like, you know who's a fucking piece of shit?
	Mike Lindell.
	And Patrick Byrne.
	And Michael Flynn.
	Because they put Cyber Ninjas in there to do the Arizona thing.
	It was fraudulent and it was all bullshit.
	They didn't get corrupted by Dark Brandon's dark powers until after they had started the process.
	Then he cast his wicked spell of liberalism upon them and they sort of became glassy-eyed and thousand-yard stared and just reported, yes, Joe Biden has affirmed the victor.
	He is our leader.
	They're just like, what?
	Why are you talking so weird?
	Don't worry about it.
	Okay, cool.
	So what does Carrie Lake's primary win mean for society in general, but specifically society in Arizona?
	Well, let's just say that everybody actually involved in the audit that ran won their position.
	So that's kind of the vibes here.
	We got Ken Bennett.
	Nope.
	Oh, I don't know anyone.
	Okay, he was the guy that actually led the audit.
	He won.
	He's back in office.
	The guy who was part of the audit that also stormed the Capitol on January 6th, he's back in office.
	So that's kind of the vibes here.
	If you helped sow disinformation or kissed Trump's ass super hard, you Get the nomination, you win.
	Trump got 15 out of 15 of his picks here.
	And obviously Mark and Kerry and a guy named Abe Hamaday and also Blake Masters are kind of like the top four that they're pushing.
	And they're all election deniers.
	That's kind of the point.
	Right.
	But the good news, what good news we can have is that the polling right now shows that Hobbs is well ahead of Lake in the general, from what I've seen.
	Yeah, that's great news.
	I don't think Mark Fincham getting the nomination is going to be good for the state anyway, no matter what.
	Oh, yeah, Fincham, but, uh, is there actual... I mean, Secretary of State's an itch.
	He won't win.
	Okay, he's not gonna... Fincham's fucked, is what you're saying?
	Fincham is fucked, and we're fucked because of it.
	Why?
	Is the Democrat not great or something?
	No, I'm saying Fincham will burn the state down.
	Oh, so like he's just gonna election deny?
	You know Fincham?
	I know Fincham, but I'm just saying like, I don't understand how a guy losing a race for Secretary of State is going to burn the state down.
	Does like Fincham's like audience... I mean, you didn't live two years of Stop the Steal because you're not in my state.
	Right.
	I think that's what Mike is saying, is that as people who know precious little about Arizona, because we don't live there, it's hard for us to understand exactly how devastating that is.
	Well, let's just say that the day that Kerry won, they had to put up a fence around the building where the election workers were working because people were already forming themselves around there to go fucking bust that shit down like last time.
	A couple people got harassed at the ballot box, even though that's illegal.
	Carrie won, if you didn't notice.
	It was pretty obvious that she won the night of, but obviously we do this thing called counting when you vote.
	And like, we have Tepusa here, so they were fully like, alright everybody, let's get ready to start protesting, because they're not calling the race for Carrie, and they're gonna pull some bullshit.
	Is TPUSA Turning Point USA?
	Yeah, they're headquartered here.
	Okay.
	I was like, I don't, I didn't, I was trying to make sure that I think most people know them as Turning Point USA.
	I've never heard them as TPUSA.
	Right.
	I was very confused by that.
	I was like, I probably need to clarify that.
	Yeah.
	It's like Turning Point, Charlie Kirk, Jack Posobiec, they all live, they all like kind of headquartered here.
	And so disinformation with our Republicans.
	Oh, and Praying Medic lives in Arizona.
	A Major Patriot lives in Arizona.
	QAnon is very well-centered.
	I mean, Q himself ran in your state for Congress, and then he fled to Australia, as we previously mentioned.
	So yeah, the rich tapestry of Arizona politics is very right-wing, lunatic-based.
	So anyway, the ballot counting happened, you know, normally.
	Right.
	And Terry won, finally.
	And then the Republican Party here decided to censure the Republican Maricopa recorder because he didn't fucking call the race quick enough for Kerry.
	Oh, yeah, I oh, there was a one of my favorite QAnon shitheads the guy who
	Literally left a woman mid coitus because she was insufficiently MAGA for him and then heard frogs croaking
	in December a little bit of a lunatic
	That guy was like Carrie Lake obviously won, but they delayed the vote counting two times to try to steal it
	Yeah, Katie Hawks Katie Hobbs is the Secretary of State in Arizona. She's to be arrested immediately and I'm like
	well, that's about the only way Carrie Lake's gonna win that election is to have Katie Hobbs in prison because
	Because...
	Yeah, Carrie Lake's a nut, and I think most of Arizona knows that.
	I think most of America knows it.
	Yeah, a few journalists were sending me the threats that they were getting, even though they called the race, like they projected Carrie winning, and they were still getting threats like, you're not You're not being loyal enough to this person.
	Yeah, they were getting a lot of threats.
	It's just like, we're definitely gonna get, like, localized, kind of stop the steals, I think, for the midterms, and Arizona's gonna be, like, number one.
	Okay, well, this is going to segue into our next topic, which is basically... Oh, it better be fucking good.
	Oh yeah, he was there for us.
	I've been sitting on a segue for a while, just waiting for it to organically come up.
	And so, here you go, Mike, the floor is yours.
	No, no, no, no.
	The last person who helped at our Maricopa Stop the Steal, Alex Jones!
	Oh, you know, I was going to go for the biggest of big boys here.
	Damn, we all wanted to segway.
	Everybody wanted to segway.
	Well, my segway was, well, I believe, I do declare, I think Arizona will make a fine state for the capital of our glorious new Confederacy, because civil war is upon us!
	Mike!
	Why are we going into another civil war?
	We're going into another civil war because the FBI raided Mar-a-Lago.
	This is a crazy headline, and the only reason it was not our lead headline for the week is because we have Arizona Right Wing Watch on the show, so that we could get laser focus to talk about that specific slice of crazy.
	But this headline is obviously completely fucking bananas.
	There was no way we were avoiding talking about this.
	So yeah, the feds raided Donald Trump!
	Yes!
	Yeah, so the $64 question kind of is exactly why did the feds raid him?
	From all indications, like the public's like, and people are wondering, is this a smokescreen?
	Is this true?
	What is going on?
	But the general gist of like, the general gist is that Trump famously and literally had a bunch of classified documents that he just took with him from the White House and brought to Mar-a-Lago.
	And at some point, like in the spring, the federal investigators were like, hey, Don, Do you happen to have classified documents here in Mar-a-Lago that you like kind of shouldn't have?
	And Trump was like, yeah, what of it?
	I mean, I just took stuff from the White House because that's what you do when you're a Republican president who is untouchable by the law.
	And the federal investigators were like, oh, okay, good to know.
	And then like smash cut to many months later, Donald Trump's like, I don't believe it!
	The feds raided my fucking house!
	What the shit was that?
	It's like, you told them you had this shit there, and...
	We don't know why they thought, because getting a warrant and doing this kind of thing indicates it was a time-sensitive situation where they had to get those documents at that moment and they couldn't wait to just call Trump's lawyers and try to work it out with him and all that kind of stuff.
	No, this is just, we're coming in there, we're taking this shit.
	Well yeah, because if they waited too long, every toilet in Mar-a-Lago would have been filled with shredded documents.
	Yes!
	The FBI would have had to get like a septic pump tank team out there to pump sensitive documents out of the bowels of Mar-a-Lago.
	Mar-a-Logo.
	Mar-a-Lago.
	And they would have probably accidentally got his ex-wife's body because Donald Trump is a fucking coolish monster.
	Yes, God.
	Yeah, it's so bizarre that this happened.
	And the thing is, is I'm seeing people thinking that it has to be bigger than the documents.
	And then I'm seeing other people like taking the line of, hey, this is Al Capone's income tax evasion.
	They're going to get him on something that they have him like stone cold nailed on.
	People have pointed out that this law that Trump is alleged to have broken was a law that Trump himself signed into law because the Republicans were wanting to punish Hillary for the emails.
	They wanted to be like, We're the party that preserves documents and integrity and we don't acid wash our cell phones after we use them because we don't have anything to hide.
	So like apparently Senator Cotton from Arkansas was like the leader of getting this bill through Congress and signed by Trump that was like, if you fuck with those documents, oh, you're going to the slammer.
	You're going to hard time if you do this shit.
	So it's like literally, Trump signed the law that might put him in the jail.
	That is like so fucking crazy to me.
	It's so great.
	And also Trump appointed the head of the FBI that's overseeing this operation, which is really funny because a lot of Trump supporters are really calling for that guy's head and the head of whoever put him in charge.
	Whoever put this guy in charge is an idiot, and they should be killed immediately.
	And it's just like, Donald Trump did that, and they're just like, I never said that, Donald Trump is great, and if he did it, it must be 40 chests, and don't, I deleted those tweets, and there's no record of me ever saying those things.
	Yeah, this is why I love using my wallpaper on Twitter to post unbelievably wrong Q-drops or incredibly stupid things QAnon promoters said.
	And it's one of my favorite Q-drops because Q literally gave us a list of people we can absolutely trust.
	They're the rock-solid inner circle of, like, Trump's team that like, you know, are going to carry Q-team across the goal line to victory.
	And the Q-drop reads, trust Sessions.
	Trump famously fucking hates Jeff Sessions and like pissed, like just did a high step into the end zone when Sessions lost his run for Senate to Tommy Tupperville in Alabama.
	And he was like, yeah!
	I cost Jeff Sessions a Senate seat!
	Fuck that guy!
	He's a bum!
	And QAnon had to be like, oh, it's all kayfabe.
	Oh, Sessions and Trump really love each other.
	Sessions didn't want to be a senator.
	Ha ha!
	They were just kidding.
	And then the next guy after Sessions is literally Trust Ray.
	Q is just like, Chris Ray, head of the FBI, rock solid.
	Q, seal of approval, boom.
	Love that guy.
	Couldn't love him anymore.
	Yeah, but Mike, if you really decipher the post, it's clear that Q was being sarcastic?
	Yes.
	Like, oh yeah, you really trust this guy.
	Even though Trump appointed him.
	He's just like, oh yeah, he's so trustworthy.
	Yep.
	And the post finishes by saying, trust Kansas, which is their weird codename for Mike Pompeo, and then Horowitz and Huber.
	And if you don't know who those last two guys are, exactly right.
	They did nothing.
	They never did anything.
	Every last one of them flamed out.
	So yeah.
	Horowitz was my English teacher.
	Was he also famed WWE Jobber Barrymore?
	No.
	Man, I really wish I had a Horowitz in my back pocket to pull out right now, but I don't.
	I was expecting this to be the riff I needed to be prepared for.
	Dammit, I'm caught in my pants down!
	Okay, so the Feds run, rid Trump.
	QAnon is obviously big mad about this, despite the fact that the guy running the FBI is Trump's guy.
	Because of course they are.
	And they also don't like that there was a subpoena for this, because of course they wouldn't be, the subpoena obviously was from some Obama judge, etc, etc, clearly fraudulent, etc.
	Um, but what they don't like talking about is the fact that, presumably, Trump, or Trump's people, got a copy of this search warrant, so at any moment, they could just tell us what the feds are there looking for, just be like, here's the illegal stuff we're accused of doing that we totally didn't do!
	And we have nothing to hide, so we have nothing to fear!
	It's 9-11 all over again!
	None of that happened, of course.
	They don't want to say shit about that.
	It's the same, it's like, Trump's really weird about, he's just like, all these investigations into me are bullshit.
	And it's just like, well, why don't you just reveal the documents that we're after and then we'll just clear all this up.
	And he's just like, I can't do that for reasons that I won't get into here because I don't have any legitimate ones.
	Same thing with his taxes.
	Same thing with his fucking subpoena.
	Like, they could just tell us, yo, why are the feds raiding you again?
	He'd just be like, oh, here's why.
	Look at this bullshit subpoena.
	Or, uh, not subpoena or whatever.
	Uh, fucking... Warrant.
	Warrant.
	I keep saying subpoena.
	What you said is exactly the situation.
	Like, when you said his taxes, I was like, exactly right.
	Like, literally, people would be like, hey, Donnie, release your taxes.
	Prove to us that you're the super rich billionaire you claim you are.
	And he'd be like, ah, they're under audit.
	I can't do that.
	It's like, being under audit doesn't prevent you from releasing them.
	He's like, ah, I'll get around to it sometime later.
	He's like, yeah, but still.
	Exactly.
	Yeah, but still is not a defense.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, it's so ridiculous.
	I just love- So, as important as the fact that a former, like, literally THE former, uh, president being raided by the FBI for crimes, uh, you know, crimes of which there could be, who knows, because they refuse to show us the warrant, uh, they, like, That would normally be the most important part of this.
	But, because it's QAnon related, that's not the most important part of this.
	The most important part of this is the reaction, which is several people, including people in positions of power, claiming that this is an overreach of the government to the point where it's time to start taking up arms and actually considering Civil War Part 2.
	That was not a funny joke on my part when we segwayed into this.
	They are calling for that, and this, as I foreshadowed earlier, is the part, right?
	This has always been my position on Civil War II.
	Fucking give it the old college try there, good old boys.
	As somebody who was born in the South myself, I'll say, just go ahead and try that one out.
	We'll see, once again, we'll see how your AR-15 matches up against Predator drone missile strikes.
	Like, weren't you guys paying attention when we assassinated that guy?
	Yeah, it's a missile that doesn't even explode.
	Like we pinpoint targeted him with a missile so good. It didn't even break the windows of the house. He was in like
	Yeah, it's a missile that doesn't even explode It just flies at you really fast and then unleashes swords
	when it gets close to you Yeah
	So a huge bullet made out of swords and we can pinpoint target you with that from across the world
	and all these good old boys in the South just like time to take our government back with our shotguns and
	It's like, dude, it's never gonna happen, mate.
	Like, even if you manage to get every single person with a gun in your community on your side, do you really think you're gonna be able to overthrow the United States government?
	What are you, what are you, drunk?
	Have you seen our defense budget?
	Yeah, I actually saw someone that was just like, what happens if China were to sneak attacks on the Pearl Harbor thing and then invade Taiwan?
	And it's like, You know, Pearl Harbor literally can't happen anymore.
	We have satellites everywhere, monitoring everything.
	We watch the entire world.
	And I like, I would see like these like dumb Facebook memes of like, the Chinese have built a super aircraft carrier.
	They have this like picture and I don't even know if it's real or not of those like, bizarre, gigantic aircraft carrier thing.
	And I'm like, even if they did build that thing, which I don't think they did, They would have one of it and America has like 11 aircraft carriers and no other nation on earth has more than like four.
	So like, oh, you build a very big aircraft carrier?
	Great.
	Our giant, a fleet of aircraft carriers sunk it with our planes that are better than your planes.
	Nobody can win a war with America.
	Yeah, or some, like, 18-year-old kid who was good at Call of Duty, so they put him in a drone control chair, which is just like, yeah, I managed to get the bingo and the bongo, and now the aircraft carrier is dead.
	And then they high-fived their buddies, and it's just like, okay, well, that's that.
	Right.
	If you are following the Ukraine war right now, which I have a Ukraine war Twitter area, if you hear about HIMARS, highly mobile rocket systems that America has given to Ukraine, the systems we're giving to Ukraine are fucking First or second generations?
	It's like the hand-me-down overalls that your older brother had that you're forced to wear because your parents are too poor to afford new overalls.
	It's just like, here you go.
	Here's your hand-me-down.
	They still work.
	They're not fashionable, but they're not modern, but here they are.
	Right.
	And Ukraine is beating the shit out of Russia on an unimaginable scale with our hand-me-downs.
	That's how dumb our military is.
	You can't...
	You can't win a fight with us.
	Yeah, so the point is, Civil War II is a stupid idea for a number of reasons,
	but primarily amongst them, if you're trying to convince people that it's a bad idea,
	is that, hey, you can't win.
	That's why part of the Q mythos that was so powerful and so attractive,
	at least I would imagine it is, is the fact that when Q is talking about the plan being enacted
	and the country being taken back, it's always just like, and this is the part where the US government loses control
	of the military.
	The military face turns, and, like, suddenly, all of a sudden, the full might of the military is in control of Patriots, and we're taking it back.
	Because, if that doesn't happen, then Patriots, uh, they're never taking control.
	It's just not gonna happen.
	Like, it literally can't, because the military has all of the guns.
	And the best guns.
	Right.
	Yeah, literally the early Q drops were Trump is going to use the National Guard and the Marines to crush our enemies.
	That's literally it.
	Like Trump's going to declare martial law and he's going to send in the military to take care of business and get the job done the way it needs to be done.
	And that was it.
	In a bunch of Qdrops, Q literally says, military is the only way.
	Because they understand that our military would win any fight against any force.
	That's it.
	I mean, that's just how this operates.
	That's part of the reason why the thought of another global conflict, like, you know, when Pelosi touched down in Taiwan and China started rattling their sabers, people were just like, oh boy, what if China decides to kill Pelosi?
	It would just be like, that would end the entire world.
	Because America's government and military would start crushing China, and they would either have to admit defeat, or they would just have to be like, OK, well, it's nuke time.
	And as soon as we back up an enemy to nuke time, then everything's over.
	That's just a wrap.
	There's no reason for you to worry about that, because when it gets to that point, we'll all be dead.
	So why stress about it?
	I mean, if it ever comes to that, we're all going to be dead.
	It'll be great.
	So I was just like, yeah, pretty sure that China is not going to assassinate Nancy Pelosi.
	So you can calm down.
	That seems like, if nuclear war destroys all of America and the rest of the world, who's going to buy Chinese goods?
	You know what I mean?
	It seems like it would be huge.
	It was the same thing where they're just like, oh yeah, China developed the bioweapon to try to destroy the world.
	It's just like, and then they dropped it on themselves first?
	What the fuck?
	What are you talking about?
	Oh God, these people are just so stupid.
	So yeah, Civil War II, bad idea for many reasons.
	Number one amongst them is that you can't win a civil war in America, so why even bother trying?
	So, like, hopefully cooler heads, relatively, will prevail, and they will just continue to talk about how great it would be if they could go back to the good old times that we prefer, the 1860s, where minorities and women didn't really have rights, and only white Americans, pure-blooded Aryan Americans, could get the job done.
	But the rhetoric is disconcerting, especially coming from the people that it's coming from, which isn't just like some dumb chuckle fuck with a thousand Twitter followers or whatever, but like actual elected officials are like, yo, it's go time.
	Right.
	You got people like Marco Rubio going, I don't even know what's going on anymore.
	This is so wild.
	And it's like, and you had, uh, uh, Youngkin in Virginia who everyone was telling us, Oh, what a moderate, not Trump Republican this guy is.
	That's why he was able to win in Virginia.
	And he's just like, Trump is the greatest.
	I don't know what they're doing to this poor man.
	It's like the entire party is just rallying around the flag.
	The funniest thing to me is it's like, uh, DeSantis, the guy who wants to be King so badly is here kissing Trump's ass.
	And it's like, dude, You're literally being given the chance to, like, push Trump out the door, and you can't do it.
	Like, guess what?
	He's here on Sunday.
	What'd you say?
	He's here on Sunday.
	Oh!
	Is he campaigning for Kerry?
	Uh-huh.
	And Blake, and all the Trump people.
	Oh God, of course he is.
	Oh, what a groveling, groveling, leaning-from-the-rear piece of shit DeSantis is.
	Oh my God.
	The fact that anyone thinks that guy has the stones to go against Trump is hilarious to me.
	Like, it's like, dude, if anyone, uh, you know, Governor DeSantis, come with me, come with me.
	I'm going to, Haley and Elle can hang out for a moment.
	Me and you just, Ron, we're just going to talk.
	If you think you can wait until 2028 to run for president, ask Chris Christie what it's like to fucking miss your moment.
	Chris Christie went from being the fucking savior in fucking 2012 to dog shit in 2016.
	If you don't run when, when the, if you don't strike when the iron's hot, you're nothing.
	So you either go at Trump right now, or you can enjoy being on fucking Celebrity Apprentice with Arnold Schwarzenegger in fucking five years.
	Cause you'll be a nobody.
	Maybe he's just waiting for the highest likelihood of scoring a critical hit.
	Maybe he's just waiting for the Feds to come back with whatever goods they get out of Donald Trump's safe.
	Like the pee tape or whatever might be in there.
	I think we're all hoping for pee tape, right?
	I said that to one of my friends, and my friend was like, what did they find?
	And I was like, pee tape.
	Yeah, I mean, what else would Donald Trump have in his locked safe?
	It's like, he wanted those women to urinate on the Obama bed, so he wanted it so bad he couldn't possibly get rid of the evidence, but he doesn't want anybody else to see it.
	The safe at Mar-a-Lago seems like a pretty good place to hide that thing.
	I don't know.
	So yeah, maybe he's just waiting for whatever, whatever goods get turned up to just be like, like, oh, you know, I, you know, I was right.
	I loved Donald Trump the way that you all did.
	But in light of the, I mean, look at the evidence, like it's, you know, that evidence is pretty damning.
	And now, now I'm your new Trump.
	Yes.
	Well, here's to hoping you got it in you, Ron.
	I don't think you do.
	Prove me wrong, Ron.
	Okay, so this story is going to be developing, so I'm sure we're going to be talking about the Mar-a-Lago raid for at least a few weeks here on the pod.
	So I feel safe in segueing to what Haley had sort of teased earlier, which is we're going to get into No, that's fine.
	It happens a lot.
	We're not professional enough for me to be worried about that.
	So, we're going to be talking about Alex Jones again, which, if you've been listening to the show, you know I fucking hate talking about Alex Jones.
	It's such a huge nothing.
	It's a snooze fest.
	I'm just, oh god.
	So, I have it in our show notes as hopefully the last time we ever need to talk about Alex Jones, but this time, the news is actually kind of good.
	So it should be a slightly heartwarming affirmation of at least a little bit of the life that we lead, which is to say that Alex Jones finally started taking lumps.
	Mike, how many lumps did Alex Jones take this week?
	Alex Jones has allegedly taken about $45 million worth of lumps, which is great.
	I've heard all kinds of arguments about, like, Some lawyers are like, it's a hard cap of three quarters of a million dollars.
	That's all he'll ever have to pay to other people saying, well, actually, if you extrapolate it out, it comes out to like about $9 million.
	And then you actually have the lawyers who prosecuted the case saying, this case is such a slam dunk, it may allow us to challenge the constitutionality of this damage cap.
	And we may get the full amount, we may get all of it.
	And the other thing that all of these people agree across the board is that No matter how hammered Alex gets from this, be it a total... Because he has to pay the $4 million in compensatory damage.
	The damage that is going to be appealed and fought over is punitive.
	Because basically, he's got to give $4 million to the parents of Sandy Hook to compensate them.
	But then the punishment phase of the payment, the amount of money that he has to pay for being a piece of shit, that's what he can argue over.
	So he's going to pay somewhere between four and $46 million when it's all said and done.
	But the, the thing that people are bringing up as the hammer is that he's going to have to go to Connecticut sometime, either the end of this month or early next month for the next trial that he's already lost by default judgment.
	And everyone said that Connecticut, Connecticut, it's just like write the check to the fucking plaintiffs and they hand it over.
	Connecticut doesn't have damage caps.
	Connecticut doesn't have any sort of ways to protect the defendant.
	So if he got hit for $46 million in funny money in Texas, he's going to get hit for around $50 million in really real money in Connecticut in about a month.
	Yeah, because it would also look really bad for the state where the tragedy happened to Kitten Mittens, the putative element of that.
	You know what I mean?
	Like granted, Alex Jones didn't commit that particular crime.
	He was not the one massacring the kids.
	But he was the one on there telling everyone, and it's just like, this is bullshit, and all the law enforcement in Connecticut is bullshit, and this is all a false flag thing, the federal government stepped in here and fucked all this up, Connecticut's real stupid, like, all this, and it's just like, for Connecticut to just be like, Alex Jones, you have to pay 55 cents to this.
	It would just be like, OK, well, that looks really bad for your state.
	So hopefully they're just going to smash Alex Jones.
	And all of this is on top of the fact that Alex Jones may, down the line, be on the hook for even more prosecution and criminess, because one of the things that was revealed in his giant fuck-up text barrage that his lawyers sent to the prosecution in error And then did not, you know, decide to try to play ball with them to keep out of the light of the day is possibly non-consensual nude photo sending of Alex Jones's wife to Roger Stone?
	What the fuck?
	Yeah, this came out that the lawyers for the Sandy Hook parents had stated that there were quote-unquote intimate posts or communications between Alex Jones and Roger Stone.
	At the start, like Roger said something to the effect of yes, they were intimate.
	We prayed together.
	We communicated our faith in God.
	And then the truth came out that Alex Jones just sent nudes of his wife to Roger Stone.
	And we don't know if the wife agreed to let him do that or any of that kind of stuff.
	But yeah.
	I believe that the lawyers with access to this material said that there was nothing in the materials to indicate
	that she consented to that.
	Yeah, and that doesn't mean that she did not.
	It just means that as far as the evidence, like, you know, the stuff that they can see, there's not just like, it wasn't like Alex Jones preceded that text with, yo, my hot wife just said I could send this to you, or whatever, you know what I mean?
	Right, exactly, exactly.
	Yeah, so yeah.
	And if I'm keeping score correctly, or if I, you know, I believe, hmm, let me go back and think about it.
	Yeah, sending nude photos of a person to somebody else without their consent is a crime.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	So yeah, between the fact that he's, uh, sending what is in like some circumstances considered like revenge porn or yeah, that on top of the fact that we have all of his texts from around January 6th, which, uh, the one six committee immediately said, Hey, uh, plaintiff's lawyers for the San Diego case in Texas, uh, we would like to subpoena you and those text records.
	And, uh, those, those lawyers were like, we comply.
	We comply immediately.
	And then the judge in the case was like, yeah, I will not stand in the way, I will not stand in the way of your compliance with the 1-6 committee.
	So literally the 1-6 committee got all those texts with the haste from the lawyers.
	So like, uh, insurrection, revenge porn, any, any number of other things that he posited.
	Arizona stopped the steal?
	Arizona stopped the steal.
	All sorts of things that this fucking asshole was involved in in the last two years.
	Is just there.
	There's talk that Tucker Carlson is getting all sweaty, nervous that these texts might leak because Tuk Tuk and Alex have been talking a lot for the past two years and Tucker's got to keep that white supremacy buttoned up and all white collar and looking smooth and he may have said some untoward things to Alex in those texts that might make him look a little less than just like your standard high-minded conservative.
	So yeah.
	Yeah, I have to imagine that somewhere amongst these racial slurs, somewhere amongst these texts, somebody slipped up and used a racial slur.
	If I slipped up, I mean, just thought no one was ever going to see it, so they just let them fly.
	So I really, really hope to see some of these in the future.
	And again, despite my optimism that I'll never have to talk about Alex Jones again, of course I will.
	So we'll just call this one for the time being and say, well, we'll check back in with our buddy Alex, who I hate, at some point down the line.
	But for now, it is time for us to seamlessly transition into our wonderful mailbag segment to answer your burning questions.
	Our listeners got questions, we got answers.
	It's time for Q&A!
	So, Cleodora Silvestri, messing, your, at the CSV says, with the Alex Jones Damages Judgment and the Trump FBI raid having both happened this week, one singular question is burning upon everyone's minds.
	What is everyone's all-time favorite casino game?
	Ooh, I mean...
	I guess probably technically blackjack, although I don't get to play it very often, mostly because I'm too poor to play it at the stakes that they're usually offering at places, and I get why they don't offer, like, extra lowball blackjack, because it's just, like, burning, you know, payroll or whatever, but I do like a blackjack when I can play it.
	I'm not gonna lie, I'm also sort of just like a sucker for video poker.
	It's just sort of like the little quick dopamine hits over and over again build up to a big one over time.
	So yeah, that'd probably be my number one and number two, blackjack followed by vid poker.
	A blackjack and craps for me.
	I kind of don't consider poker to be a casino game because poker is a game where you're playing against other people.
	You do generally play it in casinos, but I consider a casino game where you're like fighting the dealer or a machine or something like that, where it's you versus the house.
	And when it comes to me versus the house, Those are the games I enjoy the most, mostly because I know that the odds are the best on those games, and that's why I intellectually play them.
	I will say that as a casino employee, watching someone crush roulette That's the thing that gets me the most jealous.
	Just watching some guy hit, like, two or three numbers in a row, and having the dealer just, like, ship them mountains of chips, because when you hit in roulette, you hit really fucking big.
	And it's just like, I'm just like, goddamn, like, man, I want to play some roulette.
	And then I'm like, wait a minute, the house edge of this game is super brutal, and I'm only remembering the wins.
	I'm not remembering all the guys who throw $300 down in a spin, and the dealer's just like, boom, your $300, down the toilet, womp womp!
	So yeah, that's... Yeah, I mean, the best, from the outside looking in, it seems like the best one would definitely be Craps.
	But I have no idea what's going on with Craps, aside the fact that if there's a Craps table where people are having a good time, that seems like the best place to be in a casino.
	So I like to stand around while Craps is happening, but I've never played it because I don't know what the fuck's going on.
	Yeah, I'll have to teach you Craps one day.
	But yeah, Craps is... A hot Craps table is super fun.
	It's absolutely the fun.
	Haley, do you gamble at all?
	No, not at all.
	I don't know anything about anything.
	We're going to get you in the Craps and Blackjack then.
	Those are the right things to do.
	I'm going to turn you into a sports bettor.
	You're going to be making three-team parlays in no time.
	It's popular here.
	Do you know if you can use DraftKings or FanDuel to bet on your mobile phone?
	They even have planes advertising it in the sky.
	Oh, okay.
	Because in Massachusetts, in my beloved Commonwealth, literally Connecticut, I believe Connecticut, Rhode Island, and New Hampshire all have legalized sports betting.
	And Massachusetts finally agonizingly just dragged the ball across the finish line for legalized sports betting.
	But they got to go through the whole process of setting up the regulations and determining which company is going to get the rights to the mobile app and all that kind of stuff.
	It's like Massachusetts where, and Elle can vouch for this, if you are at a convenience store, the five people in front of you are all gonna fucking buy $50 and scratch and play the Powerball and the Mega Millions.
	We are the most degenerate fucking gamblers in America, bar none, and it took forever for us to get legalized sports betting.
	It's so fucking ridiculous.
	Yeah, although if we were to try to get anyone, including Hayley, into gambling on anything, why would we do sports gambling or whatever?
	Can't you just do weird prop bet shit now?
	Aren't there just weird places where you can put money down?
	You know, elections and all sorts of weird shit.
	Oh, yeah.
	I've heard Predict It might go out of business in a year or two, but yeah, you can go on Predict It's website and just literally, like, yeah, if you wanted to bet on Katie Hobbs winning the election against Carrie Lake, you can do that on Predict It.
	It's wild.
	There are sites that let you do that kind of stuff.
	Crazy stuff.
	I mean, the internet has to allow you to gamble on stuff that's more interesting than sports.
	Yeah.
	Right.
	Oh, they do.
	Oh, they absolutely do.
	Also, we have a lot of casinos here.
	Oh, sweet.
	We'll have to get you over there.
	No, don't do that.
	Casinos are fucking sad places.
	They really are.
	I've been to Foxwoods several times.
	If you're the sort of person who used to like getting together with a group of friends and just going to the mall and just walking through a place and looking at stuff and eating some food and spending some money that you don't mind, Blowing on useless crap then yeah a casino trip is really fun, but man It like if you don't go into one of those places with that that sort of mindset And you're just like look like if you accidentally look around at the people that are gambling.
	It's just like oh this place is incredibly sad All these people are just here blowing money that they probably can't afford to lose Just it just flushing it right down the toilet like so much Trump document, and it's really rough Yeah, there was a guy There was a guy who would play roulette, and I swear, when he would lose, he would scream.
	It was super painful.
	I was like, this guy needs to leave.
	I feel terrible doing this to him.
	Having that incredible optimism, let's go to this unbelievably optimistic question.
	asks, is there anyone doing a dystopia Q narrative or Q loss
	and the deep state is inevitably going to win to explain the
	failures of Q's predictions? I think that would be really funny and entertaining for me and for people that would
	like see that for like the kind of performance art that it is.
	But the thing is, is that QAnon for as sick and as twisted and
	as awful as it is. It is a hope-based movement.
	Like, everything is about getting the sucker to believe that the payoff is coming down the hill and that they might be able to get away with it.
	Like, something's gonna happen.
	Like, they're gonna get Jaseera, Naseera money, Iraqi dinars.
	Like, money's gonna be revalued because we're gonna go back on the gold standard.
	There's so much hopium and copium in the movement that, like, if someone actually just wrote, Q failed, we're fucked, like, the bad times are coming, like, people just wouldn't listen to it.
	It's like the same score from the opening of Terminator 2, where, like, you know, the T-800, like, foot comes out and crushes the human skull, and then, like, the camera pans out and you can see there's just piles of, piles of skeletons and, like, robots fighting with lasers and stuff.
	It's that, but the score is the same, but it's just like, THE DARK FUTURE WHERE DARK BRANDON DEFEATED Q, and it's like, ah, these trans people are treated like regular people, and ah, poor people have access to healthcare, and ah, minorities are just getting murdered in the street as often for no good reason.
	And it's just like, yeah, what a dystopia.
	This fucking sucks.
	Oh, what a...
	Well, what a world to live in.
	I was thinking about this the other day, because a friend asked me if the Cyberpunk game that came out two years ago is finally stable enough to play on their PC, and I was like, maybe?
	And that got me thinking about Cyberpunk, which I haven't done in a while, and it's just like, man...
	I bet that a lot of conservatives out there are like super into cyberpunk like not like the aesthetic just sort of like the idea it's like because you know it's it's attractive to a lot of people myself included like you know this weird version of the future like where it's just like ah it's a more fun version of corporate overlordship than what we have now But those games are so, it's just like, I just love the idea that somewhere out there that there's a conserver that's just like, I love cyberpunk, I really like the idea of being able to modify my body however I want.
	And it's just like, oh, including going from male to female?
	And they're just like, no!
	What?
	No!
	Absolutely not!
	I'm giving myself big metal gorilla arms!
	And it's just like, really?
	Big metal gorilla arms is cool, but deciding that maybe you'd want to be a female instead of a male, that's a bridge too far.
	And it's just like, And it's just like, you know, and for the people that exist that are trans, it's not a choice!
	They're like trapped!
	They're trapped inside of their stupid meat suit!
	And for them, like, I can imagine the cyberpunk ideal being incredible!
	You can just go visit a doctor!
	And you can robot up your body however they want it!
	But these people are just like, no.
	Only the gorilla arms, or the big metal blades that go on my arms so I can kill people I don't like.
	None of the other possible, like, you know, transhumanist stuff.
	Me no likey that.
	That very bizarre.
	No, no body modifications to improve my mental health.
	Only body modifications to help me kill and smash more.
	It's like, okay, great.
	Yeah, what a bunch of clowns.
	Yes.
	So Pancake Peasant asks, do QAnon JFK enthusiasts have any theories involving Nancy Pelosi and JFK?
	And he's got a photo of a young Nancy Pelosi hanging out with JFK.
	And the answer is no, because Kennedy is supreme good and Nancy Pelosi is supreme bad, so the two of them ever meeting in any way that was not aggressively adversarial would be unacceptable.
	How old is Nancy Pelosi?
	My god.
	Yeah, she's in her mid-80s.
	She's an old bird, that Nancy Pelosi.
	I mean, there are pictures of Nancy Pelosi hanging out with JFK, and it's just like, oof.
	I mean, like, I know a lot of the people that run our country are old, but, like, does it make me... does it make me intolerant if I think that people that are that old should maybe not have their hands on the wheel?
	I don't know.
	Oh, uh, genocracy is a term I see bandied about a lot on the internet.
	Pelosi's 82.
	I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm sure that there are plenty of octogenarians out there that have their full mental capabilities and all that stuff, but I've met a lot of, like, anecdotally, the octogenarians I've met, I don't want them operating a soft-serve ice cream machine, much less the United States of America.
	I agree.
	Oh, I will on the spot just create a conspiracy theory where Nancy Pelosi met JFK and was smitten by him, and then when she saw that Jezebel Marilyn Monroe trying to seduce him at that gala event with the Happy Birthday song, she flew into a violent rage and then one day murdered Marilyn Monroe.
	Because if Nancy couldn't have JFK, nobody could.
	Except for JFK.
	Yeah, and then Nancy Pelosi wore her dress to the Met Gala and destroyed it and everybody was like, boo!
	Yeah, boo!
	Take that, Pelosi!
	That lady from a hundred years ago wore that dress.
	Boo!
	Yeah!
	The NerdyHorrorFan says, I don't have a question.
	I just can't wait for this week's podcast.
	It's going to be bigly lol.
	So thank you.
	Thank you, the NerdyHorrorFan.
	Yeah, thanks.
	Hopefully it delivered.
	We have a special guest star.
	It's been cool talking about like Arizona stuff that I don't know fuck all about because I've never been to Arizona.
	Well, I've been through Arizona while I was on the traveling carnival as a child.
	But aside from that, I've never been to Arizona.
	Yep, our last questions are basically there's like a couple people asked the question of like how between Arizona's bullshit and the Trump indictment how likely it is is it that somebody's gonna do some fucking terrorism and the answer is to me Likely.
	Very likely.
	Unfortunately, Mike and I are simpatico on this.
	I would say that the odds of some sort... Like, certainly not the civil war they want, but definitely some, you know, the terrorism equivalent.
	Yeah, that's a good way to say it.
	Just sort of like the Yosemite Sam style shooting your guns up in the area version of terrorism.
	Random acts of violence.
	Randomly directed at probably people of color.
	What a world.
	And elected officials.
	I cannot say the word, and I know that my attempt is going to fail, because I'm just really terrible, but stochastic terrorism, basically.
	It's just basically a bunch of cowards just talking about, someone needs to do something about what's happening in America.
	Parentheses.
	You know what that something is, and I ain't gonna do it.
	Yeah, they.
	Someone, someone, someone, read you, needs to stop the globalists read the enemies I scream about on my podcast, radio show, Twitter feed, or whatever, all day long.
	Or else they will enslave us.
	So do with that information what thou willst.
	And if you happen to go shoot up some congressperson's office or take a swing at some rich, powerful person that I've deemed a bad liberal, then hey, I didn't do it.
	I don't know what you're talking about.
	So yeah, I think it's really, really likely.
	Yeah, and if not immediately, like if it's not happening in the near future, certainly if anything comes of this raid, like, if Donald Trump is ever put in handcuffs for any reason, even if he never sees the inside of a prison cell, if he's ever put in handcuffs, like, something is probably gonna get bombed.
	Like, it's just, like, the people, they're just so...
	Their zealotry is so powerful that at some point some number of them are going to actually take up the call to action.
	And all we could really do is hope that those people don't cause too much damage before they are incarcerated for whatever crimes they decide to commit.
	Yes, exactly.
	And like what Haley was saying earlier about like how there were already fucking people in a Republican primary, like seeing people walking up to the ballot boxes and being like, hey, what are you doing in that ballot box?
	What do you think you're doing?
	It's like, what do you think is going to happen in the general election if the polling stays the way it is?
	And it's just like, Katie Hobbs is up like 12 over Carrie Lake going into election day.
	You think the QAnon brain worm infected idiots are just going to fucking take that laying down?
	They're going to be out in front of polling places with AR-15s looking at every non-white person walking towards the ballot box going, hey, what are you doing?
	I want to see your ID.
	And the person will be like, no, you can't.
	You can't do that.
	And then we're going to see if that guy's got the nerve to fucking try to make a citizen's arrest or make a move on him.
	Because they're going to do... I will be shocked if we go through this election without ballot intimidation.
	People at polling places trying to fucking run somebody off because they're not white or they're a woman and they're wearing a shirt that's just like, hey, Roe v. Wade getting overturned fucking pissed me off.
	So that's why I'm here.
	That was what happened.
	That was one of the incidents that was reported here.
	It was a woman.
	Yeah.
	Oh yeah.
	ballot for her husband, which is legal here, because you're allowed to drop off like there's
	Oh.
	people you're allowed to drop off your ballot of like people you live in the house of and stuff.
	And they were like, why do you have two ballots? And it was like, I think,
	militia dudes and she was like, I felt like they were armed.
	So I just ran away.
	Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
	Exactly.
	Yeah, I couldn't help but notice that the person getting antagonized in that story was a woman.
	Oh yeah, exactly.
	You know what I mean?
	Like, if I show, like, I would fucking love to show up to a ballot place with two ballots and have some guy come up because, you know, like, on top of being shaped like the Michelin Man, I'm also, like, 6'3".
	So, like, I'm just a huge guy.
	So, very rarely do I get fucked with.
	Anybody wants to come up to me, well, you got two ballots.
	I'd be like, Uh, because I'm turning one in for my spouse, and we're both voting fucking Democrat, and what are you gonna do about it?
	You got that heater, you gonna start blasting?
	Shut the fuck up.
	And then they'd be like, they'd be like, uh, well, me no likey, uh, actually having somebody check me on this, so, and then they would shrink, like a violet, because they're all pussies.
	Um, which is a term I do not like using, but sometimes it is the only appropriate one.
	Fuck those people, I hate them so much.
	Yeah.
	The thing to me that makes me laugh about that is that if they saw you, they would think that you were part of the white guy club.
	Because I'm in a casino and my clientele is all old white men, the amount of shit people say around me or to me because they think I'm part of the club is horrifying.
	All the racist, dumb shit they say, and I'm just sort of like, I'm an employee.
	I can't get into a fight with this customer right now.
	This sucks.
	If they cross the line, I'd tell management after the fact, but it's just, yeah, hey, I'm just invisible.
	I'm either the help or I'm a bro, and that's just the way it works.
	Yeah, and this is part of the reason why our society is obviously fucked and totally broken, because I can just sit here and just be like, yeah, my layers upon layers of privilege means that somebody is probably not going to fuck with me at the ballot box.
	Like, I could show up with a whole big Santa Claus sack full of ballots if I wanted to at the ballot box.
	And they'd just be like, look, that person is Caucasian and male.
	He is fine.
	Like, you do not disturb him.
	Do not disturb that Caucasian male.
	Allow him to do his business.
	And they would probably form, like, a wall around me to make sure that I could safely get to the ballot box.
	Because they would just assume that my sack is filled with big Republican ballots.
	Because they're just like, oh, he's bald and with a beard and he's white and he's male.
	Like, I assume he's got a penis.
	Let him do his thing!
	And it's just like, okay, well, sucks for you, McGillicuddy.
	My huge ballot is full of, like, any of the slips that aren't a ballot that says, I want to vote for this Democrat is just a slip of paper that I wrote Fuck Conservatives on and just threw it in there, like a gift for whoever's counting those.
	And so we'll round up the night with what we always say, which is, what are you looking forward to?
	I will, I'll start to give everybody else some time.
	So my friend and I have been doing something incredibly nerdy recently, a collaborative group project.
	We are putting together a Magic the Gathering cube.
	And that process is almost complete, which means at some point in the next couple of weeks, I will get to, I will get to draft and play our Magic the Gathering cube.
	Which is very exciting to me, not just because I love cube drafting and playing that game under those circumstances, but also it was just good to get together with some friends and do something that is, like, lightly creative, but just in a group.
	It's been a while since I've done that.
	Usually, like, the creative endeavor I do every week is usually putting on the podcast or doing bonus podcast content, and, like, you know, it's fun to exercise creative muscles that aren't talking into a can.
	So, uh, I will yield the floor to Haley for whatever you're looking forward to doing.
	Um, I'm not really looking forward to much, because it's like, what's the next thing coming?
	The Ronda Santas rally?
	Fun.
	So we'll go with lunch.
	I'm looking forward to lunch.
	I'm going to get some lunch.
	Do you have a lunch in mind, or is it just sort of... I think I might go to Black Bear Diner.
	Do you guys know what a Black Bear Diner is?
	No, I'm not familiar with that.
	It's just a diner.
	It's got a bear theme.
	That sounds like the Bugaboo Creek that we had here back in the day.
	That's so weird.
	I was also thinking about Bugaboo Creek.
	They also serve alcohol, so it's just like, what a great breakfast.
	Nice.
	I do love a diner.
	Diners are probably my favorite establishment.
	Although I am kind of a diner snob.
	I've been to places that they're just like, we're a diner.
	And I'm just like, cool, can I get a milkshake?
	And they're like, we don't serve milkshakes.
	I'm just like, well, then you're not a diner.
	Sorry.
	Mike, I'm going to go and I'm going to show you the bear hell that this place is.
	Oh, we will post that to the hell world on Twitter feed.
	It's absolutely going to happen.
	Adventures in bear hell world.
	Yes.
	I am looking forward to the fact that my work schedule has finally been sorted out, and I don't have to go through the bullshit I've been going through for the past month or so.
	So I'm very happy about that, and even though it's going to be fake football this Thursday, at least I get to see people wearing Patriots uniforms traipsing about a field this week, so that will be exciting that my favorite form of sports ball has returned.
	Will they be in control, Mike?
	Uh, maybe.
	I will say maybe.
	It does feel, unfortunately, like the Buffalo Bills may be in control for a while now, but we'll see.
	Did I tumble through the looking glass?
	Am I in a parallel dimension?
	Did I just hear you say that the bills seemed like they looked good to see?
	You know what?
	If that's the weirdest thing that happens in the next six months, then so be it.
	I will accept our bill overlords.
	Right now, they are the betting favorite to win the Super Bowl.
	That's the universe you're living in right now.
	It's very wild.
	It's very wild.
	Ah, yes, I see the sportsbooks have discounted literally all of history prior to this season.
	Come see the Super Bowl in Arizona.
	It's not going to be here.
	Yeah, I don't know if it's going to be there this year, but I know Arizona gets it all the time.
	The Patriots have won a Super Bowl and lost a Super Bowl in Arizona.
	Yeah, Mike, break off that Super Bowl cash.
	Just casually go to the Bowl.
	You're like 14 grand hanging out or whatever, right?
	Actually, my mom may be going to Arizona for two different, she's going to go there for potentially a Patriot game and a Tampa Bay Bucs game to watch Tom Brady in like a two to three week span.
	So my mom may be visiting your majestic hellscape very soon.
	So we'll see then, yeah.
	Rock on.
	Well, all great things to be excited about.
	I think my favorite answer was probably lunch, because once it got brought up, I, too, became hungry.
	But that is going to do it for our show for the week, so it is time for us to think our happiest thoughts, sprinkle our fairy dust on us, and fly out of Hellworld for the week.
	Thank you, everybody, for listening, and especially huge thank you to our special guest, Hayley.
	Hayley, where can the people find you on the internet if they would like to consume more of your content?
	I'm just on Twitter.
	It's just Arizona Right Wing Watch or AZ underscore RWW.
	I never do this.
	I don't know.
	I forget.
	Well, there we go.
	Well, search Twitter for Arizona Right Wing Watch.
	You can find Haley if you're interested in more of her content regarding the political goings on in her particular state.
	It's all Arizona.
	All Arizona, all the time.
	You don't have to worry about the rest of the globe.
	The idiots at Hellworld have got that lightly covered.
	And for the record, she did get her handle right.
	It is that.
	Oh, and also for the record, because Sarge isn't here to do the in-person thank you, I will thank you on Sarge's behalf.
	Sarge received the care package of stuff that came from you, correct?
	Yeah, the care package is a package of stuff, including the terrible shirt that was boring, which is not your fault, of course.
	It's their fault for having boring merch.
	But the Ron poster that we talked about on the last week's episode is very, very funny.
	So thank you again for doing that for Sarge and for us.
	And thank you, the listener, for listening to the show this week and every week if you're a regular.
	Your continued support helps us a lot.
	You can continue to support us for free by listening to the show, telling other people to listen to the show, or giving us a five-star review wherever your podcast is provided.
	If you have money and you would like to support us with that money, you can do so by visiting our Patreon at patreon.com slash PokerPolitics, where you can find over 40 hours of bonus content, including series such as Kabbalen, what we do out of shows, and Mule's Errand, each of which we take a different piece of QAnon-related media and bust it down over a series of 30-ish minute episodes.
	All that stuff is available in the back catalog and any future content for anyone who donates $5 or more to the Patreon.
	And we love everybody who is supporting us, so thank you very much for your support.
	If you have money and you would like to give it to a charitable organization that is not a group of idiots talking into a can about QAnon on the internet, we totally understand.
	You can take that money and donate it to love146.org.
	They're an organization whose vision is the end of child trafficking and exploitation, a thing that QAnon claims to hate but never really seems to be doing anything about.
	So you can do something about it, like a true patriot, if you'd like to.
	Or you can donate that money to whatever charity happens to be supporting Ukraine in their defense against Russian aggression.
	Or, as always, you can use it to help support your blue candidates in races, especially if they're close.
	So, tons and tons of ways to make your money useful.
	There we go.
	Boom.
	There we go.
	Tons and tons of ways to make that money useful, even if you're not giving it to us.
	So, go ahead and do whatever your heart tells you to.
	Thank you to DJ Minimal Effort for use of our intro song.
	There's still no social media for DJ Minimal Effort, so here's your shoutout, bro.
	You'll probably never hear it.
	Shoutout to our buddy Frosty for all of his voice work on the show, including being the voice of Q, doing all of our bumps, etc.
	You can find him on Twitter, at FrostyVO.
	You can find me on Twitter, at hellworldl, that's hellworld spelled with a Q instead of an O. You can find Mike on Twitter, of course, at PokerPolitics, and you can find the show itself on Twitter, at hellworld, H-E-L-L-W-Q-R-L-D, and you can follow us there for all of our goofs and gaffs and other things that start with G that we do on the internet.
	That don't make it to the show.
	So go ahead and follow us there and keep yourself up to date with our goings-on.
	And that is going to do it for another successful episode of the Avengers in Hellworld podcast.
	One last final thank you to our special guest host, Hayley, aka Arizona Right Wing Watch.
	And that's going to do it for us.
	As always, I have been your host, or one of your hosts, The Mysterious L, joined by Hayley and our expert in all things QAnon crazy, Mr. Mike Rains.
	Good speed!
	Whoop!
	Patriots!

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