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March 11, 2022 - Adventures in HellwQrld
01:34:40
Adventures in HellwQrld Episode #77: Biolabs and True Social Q

This week the gang deals with the persistent lie about Ukrainian Biolabs and Mike Rains does a deep dive into Truth Social's marketing campaign to lure QAnon to their impossible to access social media platform. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Time Text
Hello everybody.
I am Mike Rains, a.k.a.
Poker and Politics, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld.
I am joined, as always, by Sarge.
Hello from the internet and recording site beta.
And the mysterious El.
Hello, my beautiful babies.
It's grizzled western El this week.
I'm coming to you with bowl flavor.
I was about to say it's Red Dead L and then it turned into Barbecue Sauce L. Oh, Mesquite Barbecue.
Straight from the shores of a river I can't name off the top of my head.
On account of all the moonshine I drink.
Which is sort of like a general southern thing, I guess.
Including the southwest.
We've mixed a lot of metaphors here and I'm here for it.
I mean, the biggest one was implying that the southwest has good barbecue.
Boom!
Boom.
But not with the truth.
So.
90 seconds in and Elle already has powerful truth for you all that you need to hear.
If you don't agree with it.
Casinos.
If you don't agree with L vis-a-vis barbecue sauce, do your own research.
Yeah, I mean, in this particular field, I have done my research.
And also, I feel like I've already ranted about barbecue sauce on the podcast before.
So instead, let's go ahead and play our content warning so we can get into this week's amuse-bouche.
Content warning.
The Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in depth about QAnon, which means we have to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people.
Listener discretion advised.
All right, beautiful babies, prepare your fucking booshes for amusement, because Donald Trump's plane had some engine trouble and almost crashed.
Probably not.
I mean, I'm sure that it was very safe.
Had to emergency land.
Yeah, emergency land.
But I'm sure it was, like, for relative engine failure, it was probably, like, a pretty smooth sailing through calm seas, all things considered.
However, the amusement part for your boosh comes with the fact that now, poor old pockets-turned-out Donald Trump is asking you, the common poor person, to pool your money to help buy him a new plane.
Yeah, a new jumbo jet.
Trump Force One, as they call it.
Yeah, because it's not Air Force One, because he's not the fucking president anymore.
No matter how much he says.
Yeah, no matter how much QAnon yearns for Daddy to be back in the White House, it's not happening.
So do you suppose once we get to like 51% Biden presidency in terms of time length that like the QAnon folks will finally start to like start rounding up and they'll be like, OK, well, this one, we lost this one because there's no way.
It seems like a long time for them to just be like, Like, hey, Donald Trump is still the legitimate president.
But he's not.
I mean, he hasn't been the president for two years.
Well, their angle they're working on on that front is the fact that because they're giant dum-dums who just read the Constitution, like, now, they have no idea how it works.
Basically, they found out that the amendment that limits presidents to two terms That amendment actually locks you into a possibility of 10 years.
So now their working theory is that Trump will either become Speaker of the House after the midterms or will in some way shape or form put himself in the chain of succession Everyone in front of him will resign, and then Trump will be president in early 2023, and this will allow him to serve six years.
He'll get two years of what's left of Biden's term, be eligible to run for re-election in 2024, win that election, and then serve until January 1st, 2029, and get 10 years in office.
So now they are...
Yeah.
If we can do it, let's just go.
If that can work, if the Republicans can do that, then country over.
It just sort of deserves to be over.
It's just like, oh, clearly somehow your country is wrong.
It just doesn't make any sense!
Why do they keep I'm thinking he's gonna be Speaker of the House.
I know it could literally happen, but it will never happen.
There's just no way.
See, we were supposed to have a light and fluffy story about Donald Trump being an idiot who has allegedly a bunch of money but is still asking Rubes to pay for his shit.
And we can't even have a nice discussion.
We can't have nice discussions about Trump.
We have to dissolve into this madness where we have to discuss his fucking political ambitions.
Do we have any details on the plane and why it emerged?
Yeah, we have the... let's lead with the spiciest detail.
Unfortunately, only one engine failed.
Oh, sorry.
I meant fortunately.
I read my copy wrong.
You know how you see a word and you just autocorrect it in your brain to something and sometimes it bites you in the ass?
That was what it was.
Fortunately.
Wink!
I can confirm, El winked at the camera.
Oh aggressively, oh god.
With both eyes even.
For plausible deniability.
So if anybody screen grabbed it I would just be doing like dumb like blinking during taking photo face.
I look like a Napoleon Dynamite character.
There's your pop culture reference for the top of the show folks.
The best part about this thing is that this was a donor's plane that they loaned to Trump to help him take the flight.
This wasn't like this was the crown jewel of the Trump Air Force.
What the fuck?
Trump wants us to pay for his donor-loaner replacement?
Yes!
Yes he does!
The chrome-plated orange balls on this guy.
Pay for your own fucking plane.
You're always bragging about how rich you are.
You haven't paid taxes in a hundred years, which is why New York is trying to come for you, or not.
I don't know where we're at on that.
Yeah, I don't think they are anymore.
I mean, like, a big fucking war happened, so even if they were, I'd never hear about it.
Yeah, I just love the fact that, like, the whole point of Trump running for president was him saying, I'm richer than God, so nobody can buy me.
So if I'm your president, I'll be a straight shooter and I'll do everything on the level because, again, I'm so rich you can't possibly sway me with money and then it turns out that he is absolutely the most money-crazed lunatic on the planet and that he would do anything for 20 bucks.
His entire persona is a lie.
It's just so ridiculous how Everything he said was just the opposite of reality.
Yes!
He's also a huge star fucker.
Like, I've never met someone so famous.
Well yeah, he used Storytelling Hills as a star.
He paid her.
Yeah.
Zing!
But I've never met anyone, I've never seen anyone that famous that desperately wants to be associated with yet more fame.
Oh, I mean, this was a guy who was the president so he could hang out with Kid Rock and the Nuge.
I mean, he was just so desperate for anyone to pay attention to him, ever.
I mean, he's a narcissist that needs to have attention, and if you're not paying attention to him, he's mad.
My big brain play for this week is we have to somehow convince Donald Trump that Barack Obama can fly under his own power like Superman.
At some point, Donald Trump will try to emulate this, and however that goes, we'll have our answer as to whether or not he's going to be president again.
Because either yes, Donald Trump has the power to fly, then we say, fuck it, I'll vote for him.
Or B, the problem solves itself.
Oh, that would be based on like the reports we're getting for how addled he was when he was in the presidency.
I mean, fucking it sure seems like something like that.
It doesn't seem as outside of the pocket as it should, right?
You feel like somebody could just throw an easily photoshopped document on his desk and just be like, what's this?
Report from NASA that says Barack Obama can fly under his own power like Superman?
What?
I'm twice the man Obama is.
I'm twice the man in only half the canyon.
Wait, what?
He jumps off the roof of the White House?
I still think anything like debate about the state of the presidency should be settled Steel Cage match style, but that probably doesn't work out since the McMahons are in the Trump camp.
Oh yeah, we would end up having President Roman Reigns in perpetuity.
He'd be president for life.
That'd be not great.
Man, it is just so wild that this colossal, dumb human being was the president for four years, and that 42% of America or so is just hell-bent on him being the president again.
They're just desperate for it.
They look at the rest of what the Republican Party is offering them, and they're like, nope, no deals.
We want our ancient, rotting, orange daddy back in power.
He was asked about the war in Ukraine, it may have been today, on some podcast, and he went on a rant about windmills, because he hates wind energy!
It just drives him up a wall!
I knew that if I let you flail about, like, using the move Thrash, a la a Pokemon, targeting Donald Trump, at some point you would trample all over my segue into our first headline.
Which is naturally still the war in Ukraine.
Wow, I'm infuriated at the fact that you have destroyed my segue.
I will demand you play the headlines, Bob.
From the digital headlines to the digital front lines, it's Q's in the News.
Alright, I guess as you were.
That was awesome!
Which one do we want to go with first?
The one where Zelensky just passed a law saying it's legal for anyone to kill Russian soldiers in Ukraine now?
I'm paraphrasing a little here, but... I mean, that's just like a neat anecdote, but I don't think... Does Q have anything to say about that?
No, our Russian brothers!
That would be their answer.
I mean, this would just be proof of the Deep State's unfathomable cruelty that they're promoting, like guerrilla warfare, and for civilians to take the law into their own hands, and all sorts of other evil Soros-funded madness.
Sadly not, my good friend Sarge.
We will not be talking about anything Zelensky-related up top.
Not even his 12-pack abs, or his two-foot-long Yeah.
or any other parts that you could, or his sensitivity.
Oh.
Anything you want to attribute to a masculine ubermensch.
We won't be talking about him, at least for the time being.
No, we have to talk about bio labs.
Yeah.
Now, Mike, since these don't exist in Ukraine, I'm going to need you to fill us in.
What's it do with these bio labs?
So we had mentioned the biolab story last week, but then it was just a dumb QAnon conspiracy theory that was a dart at a dartboard.
And suddenly, everyone decided that this is fucking great.
This is what we're running with.
We have Tucker Carlson on TV musing airily about these biolabs and why did America and the Ukrainian government work together on these rather nefarious things?
The Russian government has come out and talked about the biolabs and how we know what the Americans were doing in Ukraine with these biolabs and we're on to you and we're gonna get the hard evidence-proof facts about the crimes you were doing.
So we've gone from invading Ukraine because the separatist regions wanted independence, and Russia was just kind of helping them out, to invading Ukraine because of Nebulous corruption or to quote-unquote denazify it.
So now we're invading Ukraine because American bio labs were doing quote-unquote a bad thing there.
And not the Tuk-Tuk or the Russians have gone this far but QAnon has actually gone the extra mile to declare that basically America cooked COVID up in a lab in Ukraine, then smuggled it right to China, because Ukraine to China is a real easy straight line, just a two-hour drive, if that.
And that's what happened there.
So now that Russia knows that Ukraine was the birthplace of COVID, They decided to step to the plate and stop more American bioweapons being unleashed from the labs in Ukraine that are obviously, again,
A total real thing that is generating actual bioweapons and actual just WMDs pretty much just the next global pandemic will be birth from the labs of Ukraine according to what QAnon all these other just absolute nuts are saying.
And this is in no way a cover.
Yeah, so why exactly do we care in this instance?
Because now like QAnon is taking this as massive validation.
The guy who goes by the handle clandestine, who was the main promoter of this bullshit,
he repeatedly made a bunch of ban of Asians accounts on Twitter, kept posting more about the bio labs,
kept riling people up.
His latest account got banned on Twitter, but he's on other social media networks going,
ah, Twitter got me, but I got the information out there.
I pilled a lot of normies.
Everyone's talking bio labs now.
We did it guys.
We won.
We're the greatest.
So QAnon's taking a victory lap because they've managed to try to push this
into the mainstream culture.
And while I don't think it's actually mainstream, it's big in right-wing circles now because, again, Tucker Carlson's talking about it.
So it's a victory for them, which is always bad because anything that emboldens these assholes to spread more disinformation and bullshit, they're just going to keep doing it because all they're ever looking for is a pat on the head.
And the other thing is that this gives the people that are pro-Russia another disingenuous talking point.
These biolabs were not constructed by Ukraine.
They were biolabs that were made by the Soviet Union.
When the Soviet Union collapsed, Ukraine became independent.
And then Ukraine was like, holy shit, we have these biolabs inside our borders of our new country, and they're fucking scary.
And then in 2005, America struck a deal with Ukraine, where they were like, hey, we will help you maintain Regulate, fix these biolabs so you can do research on all the dangerous pathogens the Soviet Union had created while it existed.
And Ukraine was like, that sounds like a good idea.
And that's what these labs were.
They were research for preventative measures.
They were like, look at this weaponized shit the Soviets made.
How could we create a cure or a vaccine for this shit?
Should it get loose?
So the shocking twist in the story is that the biolabs do exist?
Oh yes, they do exist.
Chemical labs.
There are chemical labs.
There are no biolabs.
I'm saying the same thing.
I've played enough Resident Evil to know that bio means chemical.
Yeah.
There are chemical warfare labs, several in Ukraine, left over from the USSR, and the American government said, hey, we'll give you money to maintain those so they don't cause a huge disaster, and you can deal with them and tell us what the hell the Russians were making.
It's all starting to add up.
Yeah.
We're really connecting the dots on our Stealth Pill podcast.
Yes!
L's actually secretly incredibly pilled.
Could you imagine if we somehow tricked a bunch of dumb people to decipher our bits for their juicy nuggets of wisdom?
I would start hitting that pinata for money as soon as it happened.
I'm like, line up boys, it's time for me to paddle ya.
Here comes the money paddle.
Did you notice that last time I'm a huge genius?
I know the future and I've encoded it in my dumb jokes.
What does Turbo Teen mean?
Who knows?
That'll be $20.
Hey, did you notice that last week, every time El spoke, it was exactly at 17 seconds into the minute?
Oh, man.
It's so cryptic.
What's he going for?
It's so great.
I'm just here for all the, all the signals.
I'm trying to figure out which of my dub old cartoon references came from the year 1988.
Am I right, guys?
Oh, yeah.
You tell him, Total Monster El.
You're the best.
That'd be great.
The greatest prestige in the history of liberal podcasting.
So the other thing that was in this was the Washington Post did an article about it.
They used the term anti-plague in quotes to describe the labs, and immediately QAnon promoters seized on the fact that anti-plague was in quotation marks, being like, even the Washington Post is admitting these really aren't anti-plague labs.
The quotes marks are there to indicate they know it was the opposite, that these were actually plague labs, just yearning to spread their hideous diseases to everyone on all quarters of the earth.
Um, so this is, uh, something that is not going to die because, again, baby needs his bottle.
They need a talking point.
They need any reason to justify why Russia has done Like, the most fucking illegal thing in the world and invaded a sovereign nation that neighbors it because they felt like it.
I mean, that's what this invasion was, is Vlad was just like, you know what?
Fuck Ukraine.
Boom.
It's mine.
And then Ukraine was like, no, we're not.
And Vlad was like, wait a minute.
This wasn't how this was supposed to go.
Let me check my Ruple bank account.
Oh, wait.
Point point zero zero zero one Ruples dollar value of the Ruple to the dollar.
Boy, am I glad I already moved my super yacht.
Yes!
Yes!
That's one of the, I mean, not all heroes wear capes.
I love the fact that it was immediately just like, oh, starting an unprovoked war, eh?
Time to just use our fucking tracking software that allows us to pinpoint exactly where all your super yachts are and just, like, start telling governments to confiscate them, idiots.
Yeah, is it England?
UK?
Like, some Russian oligarch spends a lot of time there and they're like, we're gonna be taking all your stuff now.
Oh yeah, one Russian owns one of the big soccer teams in the Premier League, and he's just like, yeah, I'll sell that team now, because you might just take it from me if I don't.
So I'll be leaving now.
I saw someone talking about a woman who is the daughter of one of the bigwigs in the
Russian government and she lives in the UK and she bought a palatial, I don't know if
it was an apartment or whatever it was, she bought a living space that was very expensive
for like $100 million and she has no actual source of income.
She's just a professional famous rich Russian lady whose dad is buddies with Putin.
And Britain has a law called the Unexplained Wealth Act where if you just show up with
infinite money, they're just like, where'd you get that from?
And you're just like, I don't know.
And they're like, okay, it's ours now.
But what about it?
I am a legitimate Russian billionaire.
They're paying me with my own money!
Here, you take this money and you stop asking stupid questions.
Exactly, exactly.
Yeah, so...
Bullegg, get this man some money!
Yes!
Don't spank me with my own money!
Easy, easy, oh my god.
Just Sarge leaning really hard into Teddy KGB.
That should be my Ballywick, goddammit.
I mean, that's the dumb poker movie everybody knows.
Although I will say, I haven't heard a rounder's reference at the poker table in years at this point.
Is it the dumb poker movie everybody knows now?
There has to be another one now.
Not recently.
Well, Molly's Game, right?
That is a dumb movie that features poker.
Yeah, but it's not eminently quotable.
I haven't heard a lot of people like... People at the poker table will be like, oh man, have you seen Molly's Game?
And other people are like, oh yeah, and then they just rave about it.
They're just like, oh sweet, tell me a single line from it.
And they're like, uh... Uh... I've never heard of Molly's Game.
No, the cast is great.
It should be a good movie, but it's not because it's about poker.
I hate to say it, some stuff just doesn't deserve movies.
Poker's one of them.
Poker could be, like, one-fifth of a cowboy movie.
And that's, like, the most.
That's it.
Otherwise, it's just like the background game that, like, mooks are playing when our hero kicks an end, and then, like, they scramble to get up from the table, and too late!
They're getting blasted away by Johnny Wick!
He's shooting them in their thighs, and then when they go to clutch their thigh, he shoots them in the head.
It's so efficient.
Yes!
Hey, when you get shot in the thigh, you can't move your head.
It makes the headshot so much easier.
I've heard that.
That makes sense.
Yes.
The thigh is the secret.
It's like the video game weak point on a person.
It's like playing Elden Frag.
Like, you just shoot someone in the thigh, and they're just like, no, my thigh!
And they just move their head directly into the barrel of your gun.
Remember that Elden Ring spoilers.
Sorry.
Sorry, everybody.
Thighs.
Thighs are where you aim.
When you get the gun in Elden Ring, I hate that I spoiled the fact that you could just thigh-shot a lot of bad guys.
Can you imagine?
What a fucking great reference, like you just play that game for like a hundred hours, you unlock this special thing, it's a gun, and then suddenly it's just like Halo.
You just like run it up on trolls and just fucking unloading into them.
That'd be great.
You know that there are guns in Elden Ring, right?
Uh, kind of?
There's, like, a weird cannon you can get?
That's not- no.
I'd be like- I'd be like an actual heater.
Oh, okay.
Like a Glock or like a- No, no.
No, there's nothing like a Glock.
There's a weird- What, like a gun-ass gun?
Behold the most powerful spell of all.
Gun.
You'd be like, and then you'd like go up to the chest and you'd read the message in front of it and it would either say, Tri-finger butthole, or didn't expect useful item or something, or didn't expect precious treasure.
You'd be like, what?
Yeah, it's a gun.
It's the most precious treasure there is.
Just ask America.
He's damn right.
In addition to loving guns, though, America loves the truth.
Mike, Sarge, we all know how much America loves the truth.
So much so that there's now a social media platform specifically for truth.
And it turns out that the truth of truth is that QAnon is the shit.
Mike, you want to tell us a little bit about True Social and how they're preaching power to Q?
So, Truth Social, Trump's horribly inept and incredibly failing social media platform, that even Trump himself is currently incredibly mad about, that it hasn't conquered Telegram, Parler, Gab, Nazi Speak, or whatever other social media platforms that exist in the right-wing world.
Truth Social's big marketing pitch has been to aggressively cater to QAnon and do everything to let them know that they are the most beloved special snowflakes on God's green earth and they should please come on down to Truth Social where they will be treated as the beautiful, smart, young boys they believe themselves to be.
One of the things that Truth Social did right from the jump was create a fake Q account that was
literally Q with the and their handle was at Q was just the ampersand and at Q and it their
wallpaper was I know it was their wallpaper but it was their bio was just just a Q minding his
peas which was a reference to a Q drop and nice this this account then had Devin Nunes who's the
CEO of Trump's social media empire.
Devin Nunes interacted with this account and was like, hey, what's this Q thing all about?
And at some random Nazi con that these people were attending, Kash Patel was hanging out with Q.
And Q took a photo, and you could see the arm of Q with a beer in front of him.
And QAnon began freaking out about the flannel sleeve on Q's arm.
Oh shit, it's time for Sleevegate.
Yes, yes.
And QAnon did not actually discern who Q was via this photo, although there were comments about it potentially being Donald Trump Jr.
They did, however, decide that they were going to bring about Flannel Fridays to celebrate Q. Shut up.
I'm not kidding.
Absolutely not kidding about this.
Flannel Fridays became a QAnon thing.
They were so pumped about seeing their alleged internet super spy daddy back in the saddle, wearing a flannel shirt, hanging out with Kash Patel at a random grift con in the right wing griftosphere.
You suppose that they don't know or don't care that for a long time flannel was largely associated with butch lesbians.
I remember in the late 90s that was like a thing, right?
And this is like the antithesis of what Q would be about.
Or like, you know, people have talked about the brawny man like a bit, you know what I'm saying?
And like, if you're like an actual... What are you talking about?
The brawny man?
The guy on the paper towels?
Yeah, man.
Who's talking about the brawny man?
People online- dog, people online want to fuck Tony the Tiger.
You don't think they want to fuck this actual, like, human being that, like, is, you know.
He checks a lot of boxes for a lot of demos, dude.
I'm not arguing that people don't want to fuck him, but I mean, who wouldn't?
But is anyone really talking about the piranha man?
Yeah, I've seen conversations about him and Mr. Queen.
It does sort of sound like I'm making stuff up, but I'm not.
I mean, remember, Tumblr used to be a thing.
There were communities for this sort of stuff, where it's just like, hey, what's this Tumblr about?
Oh, this is a community for homosexuals to engage with other homosexuals who all happen to be These conversations you've seen, are they conversations you've had?
These conversations you've seen, are they conversations you've had?
Like...
No.
I mean, I can see where they're coming from, but no.
This is just stuff I've skimmed from the internet.
Okay, so don't make this up.
No, real quick.
You could fuck up your algorithm right now by searching this stuff.
You'll find it.
Real quick, fuck, marry, kill, brawny, brawny man, Mr. Clean, Tony the Tiger.
I mean, snap, marry Mr. Clean.
Like, who doesn't want a clean house?
Fuck, brawny man, and I guess kill Tony?
Yeah.
I, I, yeah, I don't see that going any other way.
Nope, that's pretty simple.
That's pretty clear cut to me as well.
Look at that, he tried to ambush journalism and I was ready for you.
You told me that people wanted to fuck three different product mascots and there was no way we weren't doing Fuck, Marry, Kill in our first of a reoccurring segment of Fuck, Marry, Commercial.
I wasn't gonna fight you on it.
I will, however, say that the fact that I gave my answer so quickly does sort of make my claims that I was not engaged in those conversations look sus.
If I were you, I would think that I was being very suspect with that snap-off answer.
Although, the truth is, this is just stuff I've read about on the internet, not that I'm talking about it.
Yeah, yeah, I read about it.
Now I'm talking about it to an audience of literal hundreds, so there you go.
Hundreds of people will now be in the discussion.
Do you want to fuck the brawny man, and what sexual orientation would you like him to be?
Now, I guess it just goes to us, like, none of us really being furries, and no hate on furries, that none of us were just like, fuck Tony the Tiger, because I think that's where you end up.
Well, I will say that thanks to the power of webcam, I am pleased to say that one of us is currently wearing cat ears.
You do got me there.
You got me.
A lot of us had to borrow their partner's headphones.
Yeah.
I mean, I'll cop to it, but Mike Rains has the photo, so there you go.
Mike Rains is also allegedly our expert, so we should probably let him get back to talking about true social.
This is so much better.
Oh my god, this is way better content.
This is a weird rabbit hole, even for us.
Yeah, so after the Flannel Friday thing, which led to that madness we just engaged in, QAnon started digging around into this whole thing about Q being on their platform, and all the QAnon promoters started focusing on one very important thing, and that is, we are going to fucking ignore what Q said a million years ago about how Q was only ever going to post on 8chan.
That whole Q-drop about no outside comms and I only talk here and anyone else claiming to be me talking anywhere else, they can pound sand.
The real Q is only here on your home for diaper porn and Nazism.
That's it.
And QAnon's reaction to being working on over a year now without their daddy was, nope.
Truth Social's giving us a new Q. He's the golden calf.
We are totally all in on this.
There wasn't a single person that was denouncing this guy or rejecting him or saying, guys, guys, no outside comms.
And the thing about this fake Q account on Truth Social is that it was very obviously a big part of their plan.
Because when you join Twitter, it'll give you a join date.
It won't give you the actual day, but it will tell you what month you joined Twitter and what year.
Truth Social gives you a join date and they give you the month, day, and year that you joined Truth Social.
So they give you all the information.
April 20th, 1969, man.
of 1969, man.
Yeah, so Q joined Truth Social on February 9th of this year.
The reason why this is significant is because absolutely nobody was on Truth Social on February
9th.
President Trump, who literally this entire thing was built around in order to give daddy a bullhorn to yell about, Trump's Truth Social account was created on February 10th.
So, the people that were making Truth Social were like, okay, what do we do here?
Okay, let's make a fake Q account.
Guys, should we make Trump's account?
Nah, that can wait till tomorrow.
We gotta make the fake Q account now!
So, these people cared more about getting fake Q up and running than they did getting the former president up and running, which is just wild to me.
And like, I think like Devin Nunes has a February 9th account.
So that's something that like QAnon promoters are like actively tracking and monitoring is like, who has the ultra early accounts because they're all in cahoots with Q because Q had an early truth account as well.
So So now they're working this angle and like they just don't see the fact that like truth social is doing all of this shit just to get them all riled up that's it and as a matter of fact what was really funny is like after a few days of this shit when still nobody is actually on truth I mean I
Right before I hit record, I checked my mail and they were like, status update on your wait list to Truth Social.
And my status update was, guys, we're working on it.
We'll get you on Truth very soon.
Just keep waiting.
So yeah, great.
Good job, guys.
I literally applied to be on Truth like two weeks ago.
And so no one's on the site.
You can't get on the site.
But after like three days of trolling and pretending to be Q, the person behind the fake Q account on Truth Social was like, guys, guys, I'm not Q. I just want to let you all know this, this was all just for the lulz.
This was just a joke.
Calm down.
I'm not actually your hero.
Let's all just, uh, Funny jokey joke.
Funny jokey joke.
It's over now.
Move on with your lives.
And QAnon's reaction to this was to pull a Total Life of Brian and scream, ONLY THE MESSIAH WOULD DENOUNCE THAT HE IS THE MESSIAH!
ONLY THE TRUE HERO WOULD REJECT HIS HERODOM!
And they still are buying into it.
They're still coming up with theories about why the fake Q account is the real Q account.
They're not gonna let it go.
I saw Praying Medic Who is an absolute grifter's grifter.
One of the things that Pragmatic would do back in the day was when Q would post like three or four Q drops in a day, Pragmatic would do a long thread on Twitter, breaking down those Q drops and what they meant and how you could discern them.
And he was basically, as someone described him to me, an evil Mr. Rogers, helping the boomers understand what Q was so that they could then give him money.
Prang Medic now has posts where he was like, discerning Q's posts on Truth Social Media for March 5th, 2021.
And it's like, he admitted he's fake!
You don't have to do this!
Nope.
Prang Medic's just like, I'm gonna pretend he's the real deal.
I'm gonna discern the messages that he's given us in his drops, even when he's like, hey guys, I'm not really Q. Leave me alone.
Calm down.
Forget about it.
You let that genie out of the bottle.
They're so desperate.
They're so hungry for that.
There's no way.
You just figure out how to make money off of it.
Make money, money, take money, money from these suckers.
Make money, money, take money, money from these fools.
Yes!
It is, yeah, it's so ridiculous.
They're never gonna let this go at this point.
So, Truth Social has created this environment and They've made a lot of posts that are very QAnon friendly.
There is this current controversy going on right now because I don't know if it was the Truth social media team or the Truth support account, but some account on Truth allegedly used the phrase, where we go one, we go all at the end of their post.
I saw a screencap of this on Twitter.
I think it was allegedly the person who coded Truth or whatever.
Yeah, I guess that person would surely be a superstar because of how well it's running.
And I've heard comments that it is a fake screenshot, that this was a faked message.
And, um, the funny thing about it is, is that, uh, Jordan Sather, one of our favorite punching bags on this podcast, actually, like, doubled down on the post.
Like, no, it's real!
You're not taking away from me!
Truth Social gave us a WWG1, WWGA!
I'm not letting you go!
And it's like, oh my god.
Like, really?
You're that desperate to get your tummy rubbed and to get your hair tussled?
That, yeah.
Mike, only the Messiah would Photoshop an image of it.
Yes!
Yes!
Exactly.
No other explanation.
Nope, no other problem.
Of course they had to fake one of those messages instead of posting it on the real site, but who faked it, man?
It was that guy, probably, because you can't post it on the real platform without getting in trouble for B'Kok libs.
Oh my God.
Exactly.
So yeah.
So it is, it is very evident that if Truth Social could ever stop stepping on their own dicks and actually get their platform up and running, that this thing would be a smash hit with QAnon because they love it.
They're so happy that Truth Social is just aggressively pandering to them in every imaginable way.
But unfortunately, for those of us who are not on Truth Social, getting on Truth Social is basically impossible.
Truly, it is the Final Fantasy XIV of social media platforms.
Yes!
Hey, they fixed that.
Did they?
I really don't know.
The last time I checked, they were still fucked.
Yeah.
The one thing, my last little thoughts here about Truth Social and all of its horrifying evil was Someone decided to literally post on Truth Social that the best thing we could possibly do in America is kill everyone who was in favor of any mandates or any vaccines.
And they just wanted this incredibly inflammatory rant with the express purpose of getting banned from Truth Social for doing that.
And then after they did that, they ran to Gab to complain about how they got banned.
And then Gab was like, we're the free speech platform that will let you friggin demand death to anyone who is in favor of vaccine mandates or the vaccine or masks or anything because we're the land of Nazis.
Although again, you can't show a tit.
Don't worry, I'm sure at some point they'll start charging people for the true social fast pass that'll jump into the front of the queue so they can get on there and start being racist.
And then, like, inside of the year when it folds because it's just like a worse racist Twitter than Gab, suddenly Donald Trump will have his new plane.
And won't that be convenient?
Oh, that would be convenient.
But Jordan Sather, again, I don't know how he got so popular this week, but...
So, thank you.
Sather made a quick post on Truth that was basically just like, let me see if Truth lives up to their reputation, if they can handle my hot take.
And he did this whole thing about election fraud, which is like, of course, if you say that Trump got jobbed in the election, they're going to like it.
And he did the whole COVID's in a bio lab and the vaccine's bullshit.
And he just went on this long rant.
At the end of it, Truth did not suspend him, and then I don't know if he got a personal shoutout or if it was just more of the QAnon shoutouts, but Sather went from being like, I'm gonna test this social media platform to see if it is worthy or wanting, And then like a week later, he was like, oh my god, Truth Social's the greatest!
You have no idea!
Oh my god, what an incredible platform!
And it was like, wow.
Way to stick to your guns.
Way to really make them sell out for you, Jordan.
Jordan, did you just come back from the Brain Slug Planet?
Yes.
What did you do there?
Not much.
Just walked around not wearing a hat.
Good old Futurama.
Futurama and The Simpsons.
Between the two of them, you can get a quote at almost anything.
I'm glad to hear that Truth is really just, you know, working out for everyone.
Oh, it's the best!
I mean...
If they had actually, I don't know, like, set it up to actually open properly and effectively, I think it would have... Given their plan of targeting QAnon so aggressively, I think it could have done actual damage to Gab.
I think it really could have, like, fucked them.
Because there are so many QAnon promoters on Gab who are like, look guys, I love Gab, but Truth Social Media is where I can hang out with Devin Nunes and Kesha Patel and Trump himself, and like, that's where like 45's whole crew is, so of course I'm gonna have to make an account there.
I still love Gab and all, but you can just like, you can literally see the veins in Torba's forehead bulging as he's just watching all of these QAnon grifters who have like massive audiences for what Gab has and they're all just talking about how hey I can't wait for my truth account to be active because I'm going over there for a while I'll still be here guys and it's just like nah once you get into your new ultra QAnon friendly hotbed of Nazism and anti-vaccine bullshit
You're there.
You're there and Torba can go fuck himself because he's not Trump.
And he didn't have the wherewithal to create a fake Q account for you all to worship.
I mean, it's just so obvious.
It's just like, the Russian thing is clearly a psy-op covering for whatever, you know, bombing hospitals.
And now we're stuck with it.
And this is just obvious, like, well make a fake Q account and they will come a-runnin'.
I mean, imagine how much more popular it's going to be once Donald Trump becomes president again, and that's the platform where he's at.
And thankfully for him, we finally started to move the needle on the investigation and prosecution of people involved in tampering with voting machines.
Oh, we sure did.
This has to be great news for Donald Trump because Oh, what's this?
On my notes here, it says this person I'm talking about is Tina Peters, and she's c-c-c-conservative!
Mike, you want to give the audience a refresher on who the hell Tina Peters is and why it's exciting that she is going to get arrested?
Yeah, so Tina Peters has been indicted.
The reason why it's exciting is because Tina Peters was basically the nexus point between where Mike Lindell and Ron Watkins met during the Cyber Symposium, where Lundell was gonna reveal the packet caps that proved that the election had been stolen.
This feels like it happened a thousand years ago, am I wrong?
Right?
It was only a few months, but it just feels like it was so long ago.
It's that brutal COVID time dilation we've talked about, where it's just like, you cannot remember what anything was, literally ever.
You can't place anything.
So, um...
So as a quick refresher of the Cyber Symposium, right before the Cyber Symposium happens, suddenly Ron Watkins appears to get like real cold feet about this whole thing.
And he's just like, I hope Mike Lindell knows what he's doing because I'm not really sure about what's going on.
And then out of nowhere, like a few hours later, Ron Watkins is just like, man, it'd be sure would be helpful if like somebody had like some insider dirt on what was going on with those Dominion voting machines.
And then a few hours after that, Ron was like, I found a whistleblower!
I got somebody!
I found him!
And the person that he had found was Tina Peters, who worked in Colorado and was part of the elections there.
And Tina, being a Republican and being someone who is infected by brain worms, had decided that the election was stolen.
So she decided to hack into a Dominion voting machine in order to try to prove that these machines were packable, manipulatable, could be used to tamper with the voting.
And when Ron did his presentation at the Cyber Symposium, At one point, like literally, I don't know if it was an actual lawyer, but like somebody got involved and was just like, Ron, you have to stop doing this right now because you're basically live streaming a crime.
What you are doing right now is probably actually illegal.
Is this the same person who leaked to Ron the footage of the password section of that machine?
But when you say hacked into, this is what you mean, right?
She just illicitly recorded somebody's credentials to get into this machine?
Yes, that was what she did.
Is this an ad from a popular Netflix television series, Cowboy Bebop?
So yeah, so she's been indicted on I think 10 counts of various and sundry crimes.
Her assistant has been indicted on also multiple counts of various crimes linked to this.
Uh, where this spreads, because if we were QAnon right now, we would be rampantly speculating about Ron Watkins and Mike Lindell, and then the thing going up the flagpole to eventually getting Trump.
And if we were smart, blue-anon grifters, we probably would have led with Tina Beaner's being arrested, and then be like, she's gonna flip on everyone!
The whole House of Cards is gonna come crashing down!
And if you give us 20 bucks a month, we'll promise you Trump will be in leg irons before the end of the month.
All that kind of happy horse shit.
But exactly where this spreads, if it spreads, is interesting because at one point Mike Lindell said he had her at a safe house so she could avoid the FBI.
They were all working with her in some way, shape, or form.
Again, that timeline of the pre-Cyber Symposium shit that was so weird, um, there were a bunch of people that were speculating, and again, total speculation, that Ron gets cold feet, Ron's freaking out, and then Lindell gets on the phone with him and is like, hey, Ron, I got somebody here that might be able to, like, help explain things to you and might show you some stuff, and that Lindell got Ron in contact with Tina And then suddenly Ron goes from being, I don't know about this symposium guys, I don't know if it's going to be any great shakes, to suddenly being like, I need a whistleblower.
Oh my God, I found a whistleblower.
How convenient.
So like that whole thing.
She actually been arrested yet?
shaken out is that'll be very interesting to see how this works out because I mean when you look
at who Tina Peters is she is absolutely a small fish. Has she actually been arrested yet? When I
when I first saw this story break this morning there was a warrant out for her arrest but I
don't believe she had been taken in yet. Oh well I would I've been I've been thinking uh arrested
as in she's been indicted so. Yeah no she has an indictment out on her.
Yeah, so... Oh, well, she, she has seven indictments, if I'm, uh, remembering it correctly.
Yeah, that would be the, oh my god, if like the shoe was on the other foot and someone that QAnon hated had been indicted and then was mysteriously found missing or mysteriously found dead, oh, they would never let that go.
Whereas if something were to happen to Tina before she was in custody, they would somehow retcon it to be Hillary killing her because she was about to reveal the truth and she had to be stopped.
She had to be silenced.
My god, everybody, stop whatever you're doing.
Does anyone have eyes on Tina?
Stop digital warfaring right now.
Look for Tina.
Make sure we know that we need proof of life for Tina right now.
Follow Tina!
Put down your new alcoholic Mountain Dew and look for Tina.
The reference is just for us.
Oh god.
I don't think it's just for us.
I believe all people can enjoy alcoholic Mountain Dew, Sarge.
Not just you or I or people that we know.
I might go find some later.
One quick thing.
Mike's not done.
Here we go.
He's ramping up again.
I'm done very quickly.
She's been hit with seven felonies and three misdemeanors.
That's what she's in for.
It was even more than we were giving them credit for.
Even more is even better.
Speaking of crimes and the potential thereof, we're gonna end this week's news segment with weirdly discussing something that I could not have really predicted.
It had a QAnon bent to it, but fuck me, everything does.
The Jussie Smollett trial, or I guess this is like sentencing is coming up because he was found guilty back in November or whatever for apparently staging his own hate crime.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So yeah, the Jesse Smollett staged attack was something that QAnon was psychotically
obsessed with because Q, the absolute moron that ran the account, had this very bizarre
belief that the Smollett staged attack was being used as the impetus to pass a federal
anti-lynching bill and that this federal anti-lynching bill was being passed by the evil Democrats
so that once it became law, they could not be hanged for treason.
That was their desperate goal, was to... What?
Yes, yes.
The Democrats... Is that why a noose was part of the staging of this crime?
Yes, yes, absolutely.
Oh my god.
Wow, how deep does it go?
Alice and Wonderland.
Yeah.
Yeah, so they had this whole belief that, like, Q even said it in one of the Q drops, it was like, what was the punishment for treason?
And that, like, obviously, this was some sort of thing where now...
Sure.
with this happening, now the deep state will be killed by other forms of capital punishment.
I mean, that would be so bad. We don't get to hang them. Oh, man. I mean, also, I mean, in theory,
like if the, the, you know, QAnon's version of good guys won and took over the government.
Couldn't they just, like, change that law back before executing the people?
If they were really thirsty for hanging, couldn't they just be like, hey, guess what?
As part of the new world order in America, We were abolishing that law, and we were going to hang these fools.
Also, an anti-lynching law is just to prevent hate crimes.
It wouldn't stop them from using it as capital punishment, but this just in, nowhere in the United States of America still uses hanging as their form of execution.
You'll get back to it.
You'll get back to it.
You get to ride the lightning there.
I don't even think they use the electric chair anymore anywhere either.
It's all lethal injection in the United States.
God, that's not the job.
It's just the most efficient way to test the chemicals so that we can at some point make sure that we have a cocktail that will put somebody unconscious and then kill them painlessly.
We haven't gone there yet, boys, apparently, but who else are we going to test it up at these inmates?
That sounds like fucking agony.
I love how they're just like, oh, yeah, we think that there's a chance that when you do this the wrong way, the person is just sort of like alive, slowly suffocating and paralyzed.
It's just like, well, what a way to go out.
Glad we're not using that barbaric firing squad anymore.
It'd be a real bummer to just be alive one moment and then dead the next.
Yeah.
And, uh, also, uh, because I think when this first happened, uh, like Kamala Harris, uh, indicated support for, uh, Smollett.
And, and then after it turned out, it was all bullshit.
They were like, Oh, look, like she was in on it.
There was like some talk that like, once Smollett goes down, Harris is going down with him.
Oh, they're going to bring these monsters to bed.
They're going to, the house of cards is going to come toppling down.
I love how, when that news first broke, it's not like anybody called it, you know what I mean?
Nobody was big-brained enough to just be like, he didn't get crimed, it's all a lie.
Well, I mean, certainly people involved with that had some suspicions, which is how it came out.
Like, your average armchair warrior was just being like, this fucking guy, he's totally making this up.
I remember when the news first broke, I was like, oh shit, that's fucking horrible.
Like, poor guy, this country blows.
And then it was just like, well, he may have made it up.
I was just like, wow, fuck that guy, this country blows.
She's like, I'm not making enough money on Empire or whatever, so I'm going to fake my own hate crime.
I guess the official line is that he was upset over the lack of action on Fox's behalf for threats he was receiving.
She was like, I'll show him!
I'll show him real good!
I'll pay these two guys to throw some bleach on me and tie a noose around my neck and call me the N-word.
It's like, whoa, bud!
Just file a complaint, dawg.
Yeah.
Just quit Empire and go work on another show, dude.
Yeah.
This isn't the end of the line for you, unless your agent's telling you it is the end of the line for you, in which case, say, hope Empire makes it into syndication and just live off those checks.
And also fire that agent, because, I mean, is the agent just being like, look, kid, you just ain't got it the way you used to.
You know what I say you do?
Fake hate crime.
Works every time.
It'll be huge after this fake hate crime.
Big if true.
Big if true.
Yeah, so Qdrop2768 actually answered Elle's questions.
It was like, it asks, what bill did the Senate recently pass re-lynching?
Who are the authors of that bill?
Note, it was mostly black senators because it's weird how the people that were targets of lynching would care about that and want to make up a bill that was anti-lynching.
Now, what false flag event took place prior to the passing of the Ville?
Did the false flag event involve a quote-unquote noose?
So yeah, basically all of that.
Oh shit, the noose.
It's the key.
Because in QAnon fantasy LARP land, every bad guy is like a Batman bad guy and they're just like leaving clues like, ha ha!
At some point, the world's greatest detective will surely deduce these clues.
And come into my lair, where I will set a cunning trap for him!
Ha ha!
And then, when he sits in the chair, it will fall into the ground!
What if he doesn't sit in the chair, boss?
Quiet, you!
So the capper on this whole story, because as we are currently recording the podcast, the judge is just yelling at Jussie Smollett.
Smollett is moments away from being sentenced but may not happen.
You sir are a liar!
Yes!
You're a big ol' liar and I don't like it when people lie.
You sir!
I'm a liar.
Over and over again, for like 30 minutes.
Just beating it into the ground, and the prosecutor's like, can you sentence him?
I'm like, I'M NOT DONE GIVING HIM A TONGUE LASHING!
You, sir, are no good for a flusher!
You are a dirty scoundrel!
I sentence him to a punishment befitting the crime!
Pants on fire!
You guys get more and more Southern by the second.
Yeah, it's pretty great.
That's what you're talking about!
I'm a racist burp-it.
Anyway.
So, the actual capper on this whole thing was that during that session of Congress, somehow the anti-lynching bill didn't pass because America fucking sucks.
But, uh, a couple days ago, they did finally pass the anti-lynching bill, and Biden will be signing it into law sometime either this week or next.
Finally.
They're like, lynching?
Check the calendar.
Yeah, it's a hate crime.
Yeah, he's 22.
2022, America gets around to calling lynching a hate crime.
So now when Trump returns to the presidency for his 10-year reign over America, when he goes to have Biden, Harris, Obama, Comey, and Hillary on, they'll be like, hey, we passed the anti-lynching bill.
You can't do that.
And Trump will be like, oh, shucky darn, you got me.
Even though, again, lynching has nothing to do with capital punishment or any of this shit.
It is incredible how dumb Q is, and it's incredible how tolerant of his incredible stupidity his followers are.
Like, no one at any time did the whole Emperor's Got No Clothes thing.
It was like, hey Q, an anti-lynching bill does not mean we can't hang people as capital punishment.
They don't go together.
One has nothing to do with the other.
It's like those doodongs, those crypto bros that got together and bought that Dune book, and were just like, yo, we got the book, so we're thinking about turning it into an animated show, and we're gonna do our own movie, and we're gonna do this, and it's just like, did nobody tell these guys that owning this copy of the book Dune does not give them the rights to Dune?
It's like all those crypto bros who tried to make NFTs out of magic cards so they could have a magic card NFT game and it's like, ah, that's not how this works, my dudes.
Hasbro got in contact with them immediately and then they were all butthurt on the internet later.
They're just like, Whatever.
NFTs are whatever you want them to be.
Yeah.
NFT is your ideal partner, your ideal job, your ideal life.
NFTs are the future.
Someone get that script before Matt Damon.
I mean, he'll do anything at this point for a buck.
So, yeah.
You mean The Martians, Matt Damon?
I finally got around to watching that movie a couple years ago.
It's quite good.
And he has that awful crypto commercial, which is I assume why we're talking about him.
I don't watch commercials because I have the internet.
And YouTube never plays commercials.
No, not that hard.
Never not once.
For whatever reason, I really have an urge to play Raid Shadow Legends.
Exactly.
Hey, we're available.
Sponsor the pod.
We're here.
I'll be happy to just be like, put in code Hellworld to get 12 free lucky draws and 400 bonus coins.
Oh my God.
So that's so many draws and coins.
How can I refuse?
Damn right.
The sun has set in the Sarge studio, so now he looks like Brando in Apocalypse Now with cat ears.
Yeah, I can't get up to turn on the lights.
It's brilliant.
Okay, well, I'm going to give you a window of opportunity to turn on the lights if you so wish here, because I'm going to insist that Mike Rains play our mailbag drop.
You got it, sir.
Our listeners got questions, we got answers.
It's time for Q and A.
So there's the drop and Sarge still remains shrouded in darkness.
I think it's because it's probably because I compared it to Brando and who doesn't want to be Brando?
This is true.
This is true.
I want to look down at the prop.
Baby, that is supposed to be Superman before we blast him off into space.
And I want to see my lines printed and taped to the baby so that I don't have to memorize them.
And instead I could just look down and dramatically act while literally reading my lines at the same time.
There we go.
That's the efficiency that Marlon Brando brings to the table.
Yes, indeed.
The original Caviezel, as it were.
So SubZeroShirtArt asks, it's just occurred to me that I haven't seen the full-throated, quote-unquote, trust the plan I don't... The plan is still very trusted.
for a while. Has the realization that the ever changing plan didn't go quite as planned
for finally set in parentheses also say no to the war in Ukraine sunflower emoji. I don't
the plan is still very trusted. I would not say it seems like trust the plan has kind
of been pushed to the side in favor of talking about being comfy as fuck and or just having
like 40,000 feet view of things.
They love talking about that.
They're like, Oh, if everything's getting so oppressive, you need to take the, like the sky high view of the situation.
Once you like, look at all the moving parts, then you're able to put the pieces together.
So don't, don't let any one thing like just, um, Ruin your day.
Just know that in the grand scheme of things, things are going in the right direction.
Everything's working out for us and we're totally going to win sometime in the near future.
Parentheses near future may mean in the very distant, distant future after several centuries and generations have passed.
I want to saw them, like the movie Saw.
They wake up and they're in some sort of death contraption.
And it's just like, you know, there's a broken watch in front of them.
It's just like, you have to look at the larger picture and then you can put the pieces back together.
And they're just like, that's not how it works.
I can't do that.
And it's just like, exactly.
They're just like, well, what about this bear trap?
And she's like, sucks for you.
Yeah.
You're very chill Jigsaw.
Just in the corner, they're just like, what about the death machine?
I'd just be like, it's not my problem.
Put the fucking watch together.
Yeah.
They...
I mean, no.
They're just stuck.
I mean, they can never admit Q failed, because if they did, then they have to admit they're wrong.
And if they do that, they leave the movement.
So as long as you're in the movement, Q's right about everything.
I mean, that's the reason why I changed my wallpaper recently to that Joe M post, where he's like, if Trump loses, that meant Q failed.
And since Q cannot fail, Trump cannot lose.
So it's just forever.
Can God make a rock so big he can't lift it?
Yeah, exactly.
They just operate on that logic all the time.
I was brainstorming a fake spirituality to start peddling to people.
And I came to the conclusion that I would be like, we'd be like the the probabilityists.
And like, our Our core tenet would be everything is equally likely to happen, so there's no sense of worrying about the numbers.
Either something will happen or it won't happen.
50-50, bro!
Yeah, your whole life is 50-50.
Every time you make any choice, something either will happen or it won't happen.
In that way, the burden is truly lifted off of your shoulders.
You're not wrong!
Oh man, the number of people who have used that kind of logic at the poker table is like so hilarious to me, because you'll have this one guy going, oh I had 17 outs, oh I can't believe I lost!
And the other guy at the table will be like, hey it's 50-50 man, either it happens or it doesn't, as he's stacking the other person's chips, and it's just, that's just the way of the world.
So that's your whole life?
Yeah.
Getting in your car for the commute into work?
You gonna get into an accident?
Well, it's either gonna happen or is it?
50-50.
Equally likely either way.
The universe is big and vast.
At the end of the day, if you truly believe in probability, it's all gonna even out, baby.
50-50, baby.
I now want to buy a percentage sign necklace that'll be the new cross for our religion of the probabilityists.
We need to get some sort of... Go to a visual design firm or whatever and get them to design our logo.
Because everything is capitalism these days.
It's like, please design... We're looking for... One logo, please.
Modern age.
We're looking for cross two.
I mean, you got it right there.
Yeah, yeah.
That'd be great.
Yeah, cross, too.
Maybe the full probability is that we're just gonna steal the Santa Claus of the movie a bit, and we're just Christianity, too.
And when people ask us what our core agenda is, it's just like, no Bible, no Ten Commandments, none of that horse shit.
God's law is that it'll either happen or it won't.
It's all part of God's plan, so either it will happen or it won't happen, and either way, he's on the wheel.
I'm in.
I'm just worried that religion accelerators, acceleratism, will make Christianity 3.0 happen much faster.
We're only going to have this grip for like 400 years before Christianity 3.0 usurps us and becomes the dominant version of Christianity in the world.
Amen.
Either that happens or it doesn't.
What does it matter?
What does it matter?
Oh god, I love that.
That literally can answer any question.
You have just absolutely trapped people in this perfect thought terminating cliche.
It is world class.
50-50, baby.
Oh my god!
50-50 baby.
Exactly!
Oh my god!
50-50 baby.
So, this question has ended.
That is what has happened.
So thank you for it.
Thank you for watching.
I'm going to go ahead and end this.
Cleodora Silvestri, who doesn't own any NFTs, asks, since the American trucker convoy is getting zero media attention on account of Russia invading Ukraine, are they planning to park somewhere and wait around to get attention again?
Or are they gonna go home and try again later?
Right now, they are trying.
Like, they're desperately trying to puncture into the media bubble and get themselves whatever tiny... So they're gonna have to get their fuckin' truckin' asses over to the Ukraine.
They're gonna have to truck their convoy across the fuckin' ocean.
They keep losing the traffic!
Because nobody cares about them.
They keep losing to regular DC traffic.
Every time I hear about them, they're like, and once again, the American Trumper Convoy has been defeated by traffic.
Yeah, they want to ride on the Beltway around DC, and I saw some people talking about, what if all these truckers got on the Beltway and then they started going the legal speed limit of 55 miles an hour and grinding everything to a crawl?
What will the libs do then?
And it was like, well, actually they can't.
They've tried to do these things and they've failed.
Like, uh, they, the, the convoy isn't very big.
They can't actually, they can't coordinate.
The beltway sucks.
It's horrible to drive.
Uh, basically they, a couple of days ago they did like a lap.
And then after they did a lap on the beltway, they were like, why are we going to just drive around in circles for no reason?
This is dumb.
And then they gave up.
And then, I think it was yesterday, they didn't do it because of rain.
They were like, oh no, it's raining out.
We can't drive our cars in the rain.
Sure can't.
Sure can't, absolutely no way.
It's important to remind the listener that at any point, any one of these truckers
could actually just like, like go down a major road someplace
and then just like turn their truck a weird way and block traffic.
And then they could just be like, I'm protesting!
And the reason they're not doing that is because they would get fucking stuffed immediately.
That would be the end of that.
We're in America, dawg.
This ain't Canada.
Can't do that shit.
That does not count as your ability to protest.
Oh yeah, that's the thing.
If they actually went for it, they would risk being actually attacked by angry American motorists, and they would probably be arrested very quickly and brought to jail very quickly.
This isn't like Canada where they let them get it out of their system for three weeks and then very politely give them a note saying, please leave in the next three or four hours or we're going to arrest you.
Yeah, like I know this is for serious, guys.
This time we're really gonna do it this time.
For real.
You will be arrested.
We are giving you like six hours to get the fuck out of here.
Yeah, I don't think that I've even talked about this on the pod before, so we don't need to play up to the point, but that shit is not going to fly in any major American city where it would make an impact.
Bye.
The populace and law enforcement are both not going to stand for it, and all these people would be doing is putting themselves in danger, which is generally ill-advised.
And as much as any major city in America wouldn't tolerate that shit, Washington D.C.
upped that by a factor of five.
Washington D.C.
is like, oh, you're gonna fuck with the actual head of the federal government of America?
Get the fuck out of here!
That is never gonna happen!
Like, these dum-dums were thinking of doing this at the State of the Union, that event where, like, literally they have to have one guy hide in a hidey hole to be the designated survivor.
And it was like, yeah, you're gonna go into D.C.
during the State of the Union and run one of these protests, and that's gonna last more than five minutes.
You fucking clowns.
I feel like if they tried to pull the shit in some cities, they'd just be like, we're protesting!
And people would just swarm on them from broken down alleyways and derelict buildings and just break open the back of their trucks and steal whatever they're hauling.
And if it's nothing, break into the truck and steal it.
And it's just like, what the fuck are you doing?
Can't you see I'm here protesting my freedoms?
And they're just like, dog, your country has abandoned us.
We're stealing this truck.
Get the fuck out of here.
The truck would be on blocks in a half hour.
As the person's still sitting in the cab, just getting boosted.
It's like those Fast and the Furious heists, except nobody has a car and the truck is just sitting in the middle of the street.
Oh my god. Yeah, so the trucker convoy is trying but is failing and will probably fade into the
either in the next week or so because they don't have they don't have the balls to actually do
what they're talking about. They don't have the nerve to actually do a real protest to run a real
risk of either...
either inciting violence against them for motorists or jail time,
because they're cowards. I mean, that's just the way this works.
And what are they protesting? We're against mandates.
The Supreme Court struck down all the mandates and like, America never really had that like big of a lockdown.
What freedom are you whining about? Trump lost the election.
Yeah, that's that's what you care about.
Your orange daddy isn't in the White House so you have Assad.
That's all this is. So get over yourselves.
Yeah, fuck them.
Yep. So thank you for the question.
Klutz Zero asks, have any Anons made hay over the fact that Zelensky is having calls with, among others, Biden and Trudeau?
They're so busy doing their biolab bullshit and pissing and moaning about everything and talking about how the media isn't giving Russia a fair shake in this whole invasion thing.
We're not getting the Russian point of view about what's going on.
We're also not getting the Russian point of view about their gymnastics and ice skating program, it turns out.
Their opinion on the matter is irrelevant.
They're just cheaters and warm-honkers.
Yeah, so... And now they don't get McDonald's anymore.
Oh, oh my god.
The amount of QAnon bullshit.
They're like, oh, Russia's gotten rid of McDonald's, porn, Starbucks, and all this other stuff.
God, I wish I could live in Russia.
It's like, move!
No, you don't.
You can do it, man.
You can just, like, holler at Putin and just be like, hey, I want to be an American expat in your country.
Let's go.
Yeah.
Guess what?
Then you can enjoy all of the no McDonald's, no Starbucks, and no bars on any window over the second story all you want.
And at any moment, you could just be one of the many Russian people that accidentally happen to fall out of a window to their death.
Extra guess what?
You can enjoy being what is most likely a conscripted soldier fighting in Ukraine where it's now legal for anyone to shoot you because there's information coming in that there's conscripts.
A lot of the soldiers fighting in Ukraine for Russia are conscripts.
Oh, there have been captured Russian soldiers who've been like, I thought we were just liberating the Donetsk and the other regions that were claiming independence.
We didn't know we were actually going into the very beating heart of Ukraine to try to conquer it.
So like their army doesn't even know what their mission is.
They don't know what's going on.
Everyone's been lied to the whole way down.
I mean, This does not seem like a very well-run operation to conquer the Ukraine.
Putin is granting these conscripts an opportunity at a glorious death, being shot at from a third-story window from a grandmother armed with a hand-me-down rifle, because they have to defend their fucking country and get the fuck out!
It's so ridiculous.
Uh, so, yeah, the fact that Zelensky's doing all this stuff, they, I mean, they just hate him.
Because everything that they wanted to believe that Trump and Putin was, Zelensky is.
He's actually, like, actually in Kiev.
He actually has a wheelbarrow for his testicles.
Like that picture of the ultra-Chad.
Right.
You have ultra-Chad Zielinski just emasculating their heroes.
And as a result, they're just miserable.
They're just miserable about everything.
And they're like, oh, the media's lying about Russia.
They're lying about everything that's going on in the war.
We're not getting the truth.
One of the greatest things about all of this is they keep talking about, oh, the Ukrainians have these Nazi soldiers on their side.
America's backing Nazis.
And then you'll have these real big-brained QAnon promoters being like, thanks to social media and our communities, we're able to figure out in real time that Russia is being lied about by the media.
It's too bad that in the 1940s no one had this information to find out what was going on with Germany.
They did!
It started slow!
Oh no, they're saying that Germany got a raw deal, that Hitler was a good guy in the war.
That's the point.
They're making Putin look like the bad guy, but we can see the truth.
It's too bad in the 1940s, no one could figure out that Hitler was the good guy in that war.
And it's like, oh, so it's bad that Ukraine has Nazis on their side, but also Hitler did nothing wrong.
Where do you stand on Nazis again?
What's your actual stance on if Nazis are good or evil?
Because you literally just told me the guy who was the leader of the Nazi party that's caused World War II, that guy was a goodie.
He was a white hat.
It's mutable.
They're Hitler fluid.
You can't judge them.
Yes, exactly.
Gross.
Your belief in how wrong Hitler was is a spectrum.
Exactly!
Oh, boy.
You're a nightmare.
That's not true.
I mean, we both know that that's not my core belief.
My core belief is that either Hitler was a bad guy or he wasn't.
Exactly.
Out of context clips that will make us look bad.
I mean, we're too fucking gone for that shit.
We've said a bunch of appalling stuff on this.
We have a content warning at the top of the show for a reason, because it's like, we're going to be joking about some fucked up shit.
So if anybody wants to clip us out of context without that content warning, I mean, I'm sure there's a bunch of ways to make us look bad.
Luckily it's not Joe Rogan bad if you catch my drift.
Yes!
So thank you for the question.
Snorlaxcpap asks, if I challenge the Cube Queen of Canada to a fight and win, although she looks scrappy, am I now the new ruler of Canada?
Yes.
I would say yes.
I do believe that Canada probably has a setup where the monarchy of Canada is decided Black Panther style.
So if you are the killmonger in this situation, and you want to get in there and take a shot at the champ, you could do that.
I mean, I don't know what kind of birthright or title you would need to do this, but If you've got the right credentials, I think you can tell the Queen that she's got to put the crown on the line.
I think that's fair.
I mean, if you were to pull a Black Panther and do what Killmonger did, which is...
Like, win your legitimate claim to the throne by cleanly defeating the previous leader, only to be told that you're the bad guy and fuck you and we're changing the rules and you're not Black Panther or the King of Wakanda because we don't like you!
We'll go right ahead.
Nobody ever talks about that in that movie.
He's like, yo, I've got a legitimate claim to the throne.
And they're just like, okay, checks, notes.
Yup, he does.
And he's like, okay, let's do that ritual combat thing.
And it's just like, okay, did he win?
Yes.
Did he cheat?
No.
No.
Did he does have a legitimate claim to the throne?
Yes.
So he is legitimately the king of your country now.
And therefore any attempt for you to undermine him is open rebellion.
Yes.
When Koya gets on board, she's like, no, this is, like, that's not how it works.
Yeah, they fucking all should have got on board.
That's not how you're, like, if that's how your civilization is set up, then that shit cuts both ways.
You're just going to be like, like, if you want to have, like, a morally righteous king, then hold a fucking election or whatever.
No, so if you beat the Queen of Canada in Ritual Combat, you gain access to the magical maple leaves that give you the powers that make you Captain Canada, lady, queen, man.
You were like 80% of the way there, just not having a good name for the Canadian superhero made you not sick to living that well.
The Canuck.
All right, damn it.
See, like now I feel bad.
I was going to put you on the spot because you put me on the spot earlier and then Mikey gave you a much easier out.
I was going to make you name the five power rings that Canada has that turns you into the Canuck.
Probably like politeness.
Hockey, politeness, maple.
Hockey, politeness, maple leaves, poutine, or maybe just timos.
Timbits, timbits.
Timbits.
Or the whole restaurant itself.
The fifth one is pronouncing Toronto, Toronto.
But your powers combined.
I am Captain Canuck.
But no, if anybody else wants to, you know, like, call to action on our social media, tell us what your five power rings for Canada are, what five power rings some captain conduct, or, if you prefer, whatever your captain planet, like, representative for your nation is, which will be especially fun for our American listeners.
Oh god!
Can you name five funny things that might make up a Captain America, but, like, not the one for Marvel?
That's the character's full name.
Captain America parentheses but not the one for Marvel.
Yes. So thank you for the question.
Reverend Xenofact asks, China was a big Q enemy, but now China is playing up the Biolabs propaganda.
Vladdy Daddy's country is in ruins and he's a war criminal.
Will Q move loyalty to Xi or will their love of racism be too strong to overcome?
The answer to that is because Trump is a giant dum-dum and they follow whatever Trump says.
Trump's made some comments about how, yeah, I think China should take Taiwan right about now.
Obviously Biden's a bit of cuck, couldn't handle a big masculine Putin taking over Ukraine.
So there's no way he's going to stand up to eight pack ab G rolling in the Chinese military
in Taiwan.
So, yeah, they should take that over right quick.
And immediately QAnon was just like, well, if the orange daddy wants China to have Taiwan,
then we have to make this elaborate nonsense up about how the Chinese deep state doesn't
involve the literal ruler of the one party that runs the entire country.
And that now the shy comms are actually a force for good.
And that if China does invade Taiwan, it'll be to get rid of the bio labs in Taiwan.
And this is, again, their biolabs are everywhere.
America Always puts their like ultra top-secret, ultra dangerous technology apparatuses right on the border of a nation that's just itching to invade that nation.
Because that's what we did when we were testing the nuclear bomb.
We put it right on the front lines of France while we were fighting the Nazis in World War II.
We had Einstein and Oppenheimer and all those guys ducking bullets from German pillboxes while they were trying to get the bomb just right.
I mean, it's just the dumbest bullshit.
QAnon has pivoted on a dime from China unleashing COVID on us, and they did it all to fuck Trump out of the presidency, and they're our greatest enemies, and all the racist terms they used for COVID, to me being like, Oh yeah, he's a good guy, and we need him to help us out defeating the Deep State in China and the world, and it's all going to be great.
So we're going to take care of business, and he's our new non-orange daddy.
Well, he's orange, just in a different way.
It's because he's covered in that sticky honey.
Yes, exactly.
I can't really do a Winnie the Pooh.
I just don't have it.
Well, I didn't really grow up with Winnie the Pooh, so I've heard him a couple of times and I took a flyer on it.
And you know, sometimes you miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
It's hard.
Like, it's not an easy, like, little accent to do.
Whenever it comes down to an accent, I'm just like, man, can I pull this one off?
And then I figure, hey, man.
Either you can.
Very good.
Exactly!
And so, as always, our final question, what are you guys looking forward to?
Um, I am, I'm gonna do a little self-promotion here, self-plug for us.
I'm actually looking forward to BenchWordy here in March because we settled on the theme of Batman and I am looking forward to all the Batman-related stuff we're gonna watch and talk about here in March.
I know I shouldn't, I don't know, whatever, I can promote my own thing.
I am actually excited about I think we're going to do some amount of Batman Beyond.
Spoilers for like what we're going to be talking about on Binge Wordie in March.
We're doing Mask of the Phantasm, some amount of Batman Beyond, and then whatever Al wants to pick for his Batman related material.
And I'm genuinely excited.
We're going to try to get to the theaters to see The Batman.
Yeah.
I'm genuinely excited to... I might try to sad boy that tomorrow to squeeze it in.
My calendar weeks, they just fill up so fast now.
I'm always just like, oh yeah, I've got plenty of days this week.
And then it's like Thursday or Friday and I'm like, fuck bud, I still have so much shit to do.
Yeah, I'm not gonna lie.
I wish it was like ye olden times of the COVID and we could just watch it at home because I would just be watching it tonight.
But like, getting to a theater is kind of a chore.
Yeah, luckily I have one right down the street from me, so it's actually pretty easy for me to just go slightly out of my way on my commute to go see a movie if I want to.
But I'm just not, like, usually super keen on seeing movies solo, but I will if I have to.
I think that's what I did for Spider-Man.
I just went and saw Spider-Man, sad boy style, because we made an attempt with some friends, but then something got in the way.
It was like, you know, weather or whatever.
Some shit happened, so.
Yeah, anyway, I'll be excited to play a little more Elden Ring this week.
I've put a whopping five hours into it over the course of the past week and a half because, again, my time is just limited and when I get home from work I'm fucking tired and a lot of times I don't feel like firing up a video game for a two or three hour stretch.
So I'll continue to play Elden Ring.
I'm actually having a good time.
But it's just, you know, it's daunting to play video games these days, especially when they come in and it's like, this one's got a 100 hour storyline because you're just going to get fucking murdered so often.
It's like, wow, that's a big commitment.
But yeah, I'm excited to play a little more, a little more video game on top of all the nerdy shit I have to watch for my podcast obligations.
Yeah, I am looking forward to March Madness because college basketball isn't my cup of tea, I really don't care about it, but that weekend, those four days where the tournament first starts and there's just basketball on all the time, that's the best time to be in a sportsbook, in a casino, in somewhere.
Because everyone's just freaking out.
Every lunatic's talking your ear off about their seven-leg parlay they can't miss and this, that, the other thing.
You're hearing about people losing huge sums of money, winning huge sums of money.
It just creates an atmosphere that's really kind of wild.
March Madness, that first weekend of the tournament, is basically a yearly event that is a lot of fun.
So, yeah, I'm looking forward to that.
That'll be interesting to deal with.
After that, I will be interested to see just what's going on with my day job, because my schedule's been wonky, everything's going crazy.
And after this next week, things are going to hopefully settle down, and I'll know what's what.
And it's all good news for anyone who's like, oh no, what's happening to Mike?
No, everything's good.
Oh yeah, he's got his bindle ready.
He pre-cut a hole in his boot so it's floppy on the end.
He's gonna do just fine.
He's making beans straight out of the can.
I mean, making them.
All he has to do is open them.
Yeah.
Straight from the can into the man.
That's the fucking glory of beans, straight from the can.
What else are you gonna do?
So yeah, sorry, I was distracted by the flickering fluorescence of messages coming in.
But yeah, that is going to do it for another, you know, quasi-successful episode of the Adventures of Hellworld podcast.
I'm going to talk about fucking Mr. Clean Man there for a minute, and that was sort of a weird one, but That's what I'm sure you guys have come to expect, at least in some portion, from this particular show.
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Yeah, I mean, none of these things change.
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You can find Frosty on Twitter, at FrostyVO.
Sarge already went into it a bit, discussing our spinoff podcast, Binge Wordy, where we discuss pop media topics.
March, we were discussing Batman.
We were calling it Bat March, or March comes in like a Batman.
And you can find that at Binge Wordy, which is B-I-N-G-E-W-O-R-D-Y, and on Twitter, at Binge Wordy, spelled the same way.
Once again, for another episode of Avengers of Hellwar Podcast, I have been your host, Hellworld El, joined by my co-host, Hellworld Sarge, and the glue that sticks us all together with his sticky, sticky presence, our expert in all things QAnon crazy, Mr. Mike Rains.
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