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Dec. 16, 2021 - Adventures in HellwQrld
01:39:06
Adventures In HellwQrld Episode #65: 1/6 Committee bringing the Heat

The 1/6 committee is here to chew bubble gum and hold people in contempt of congress and they are all out of bubble gum. Plus more fun with -48 and Ron Watkins. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Time Text
Hello everyone!
I am Mike Rains, a.k.a.
Poker and Politics, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld.
I am joined, as always, by Sarge.
Oh, that's me, and I had to find my mute button real quick, because it moved.
Ha ha!
And the mysterious Hell.
Hello, my beautiful babies!
Just gonna do the whole podcast in this nerd voice.
Hey!
You guys play Magic the Gathering?
Oh, back in the day.
Back in the day, I slung some cardboard crack as the kids were calling it.
I'm hip.
I'm happening.
I exclusively play Story Brawl.
Oh.
Yeah.
No, I'm too cool for magic.
Crawlworm, go!
Oh, that. Busted out the crawworm. That's world class. I would say if you were going
to stay in character for an episode, I would hope for Duke Nukem, but I will take the nerd
if I have no choice.
Duke takes a lot out of the old voice.
Oh, I bet. I bet. Duke's like one of those death metal groups where they have two vocalists,
so one person doesn't have to scream all concert long and thusly destroy their vocal cords.
Yeah, it's always so much better when you have a rotated cast of people screaming gibberish over incredible instrumentation, which is all metal music is.
You want to hear these great metal bands, but nobody wants to just sit around and listen to guys play instruments with no quote-unquote vocals.
We just have some idiot screaming nonsense over it.
Oh, so good.
Yeah, that's right.
I'm starting the podcast taking shots at metal music.
Get with it!
Yeah, get wrecked, Metallica.
You suck.
Wow, yeah, because when I think metal, in my darkest, blackest pit of my heart, when I think of metal, I think of Metallica.
Yeah, I know.
Like, that's a worse burn than what I said.
Like, I at least classified them as metal, and you were like, no, I would never think of them as metal.
I would literally never think of Metallica as metal.
Maybe technically, I guess?
I don't know.
I keep talking over whatever point Mike Rades has.
I feel like they're a rock band.
I would just consider them rock and roll at this point.
I mean, maybe 40 years ago or whatever, 30 years ago when they dropped, they had the edge enough to be metal, but they definitely don't have the edge enough to be metal these days.
I agree with you, but...
I was back in hell there.
I couldn't believe that you called Metallica metal.
I was just like, man, they are so not metal, it's not even funny to me.
Bam!
Take that, Metallica!
Finally!
There's only one metal band I give a shit about anyway, and that's Austrian Death Machine.
Austrian Death Machine rules, because they have a dumb gimmick.
I like the Oakley Doakleys.
Oh yeah, I could fuck with some Oakley Doakley.
Yeah.
I'm going to have to listen to these bands after the podcast.
That's going to be my new goal, is to embrace myself into L-approved metal groups and see how they play.
I just like metal with a gimmick.
I don't want a metal band's gimmick to just be like, hey, we're good at shredding on guitar and we want to yell about feces or whatever.
What do metal bands like to write their lyrics about?
Probably feces, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Is a friend of the podcast DJ Minimal Effort's favorite band Cannibal Corpse in the conversation here?
No, I mean, have you ever listened to Cannibal Corpse?
They're fucking awful.
Yeah, they're just dumb screamy.
It's just like, yeah, I have heard the songs that Minimal Effort would rant and rave about back in the day, and it was not even the ballpark of coherence to me.
Yeah, I mean, we haven't played our content warning yet, so I'm remiss to even bring up the name of this band.
So, avert your ears, sensitive listeners.
But Cannibal Corpse occupies the same mind space to me as the horrible punk band Anal Cunt, because at the time, I'm sure that they thought that what they were saying and doing was really provocative, but the internet is a thing now, so, you know, like...
Lyrics like strapped to a table naked, genitals exposed.
I'm just like, yeah, big deal.
I mean, whatever.
That's Tuesday Night on the Internet, brother.
What do you got for me now?
Don't even feel a tickle.
So let's let's hit that content warning anyways.
Content warning.
The Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in depth about QAnon, which means we have to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people.
Listener discretion advised.
I will say, to their credit, it is hard to get that band's name out of my mouth these days.
The C word has become reserved for, like, break a case of emergency.
I do not bust that word out very often.
It sticks like a lump in my throat when I try to get it out now.
Yeah, I couldn't even tell you the last time I said that word.
Yeah.
Oh, the one thing I will say is that, God, I have so many older men at the poker tables who just think they're the biggest edgelord around when they bust it out.
They're like, ooh, I'm a naughty boy!
I said the bad word!
And it's like, dude, you're, like, 60.
What is wrong with you?
Calm down.
There's so many worse words now.
Yeah, and also, it's just, like, so context-specific, too, because, again, in the UK, they have never given a single fuck about that word.
They just bandied about it all the time.
If I'm in a UK sort of way, if I'm putting the accent on it, it comes a lot more natural.
But if I'm just using my American-ass accent and I try to bust that word out, it's just like, ooh, this feels wrong.
This feels like the R-word or the F-word, not the word fuck, which is perfectly fine.
Oh, yes.
They're much more in arms about fanny over in the UK, because that means the front, not the back over there.
Yes.
They must be really confused about frugal fannies.
They must be like, what?
So, we've done enough spitballing about fun and frivolity.
It's time to actually enter into Hellworld and the nightmare that we live in.
Let's look at the news.
From the digital headlines to the digital front lines, it's Q's in the News.
Where do you want to start?
Well, I mean, we have an ample feast of nonsense to go over with the 1-6 Commission and the fact that it's looking like the people that would know better knew that it wasn't Antifa and Black Lives Matter and quote-unquote the bad guys that were doing the rioting and the attacking of the Capitol.
And that it actually was Trump supporters that were doing this, because we had it released that Sean Hannity, Laura Ingraham, Donald Trump Jr., who apparently doesn't have Daddy's phone number, At least the three of them, and probably others, were texting with Mark Meadows, who was Trump's Chief of Staff during his time in office, and begging Mark Meadows to tell Trump to call off the dogs, to tell the people breaching the Capitol to stand down and leave, because this is a bad thing.
This is not working.
And that, uh, I believe Laura Ingram said that he was tarnishing the MAGA legacy by having this happen.
Nothing can tarnish the MAGA legacy.
Like, he's on...
He's recorded!
It's saying, grab him by the pussy.
And that didn't sink his run to presidency.
But that was before he was the president and he showed up and he clearly made America great again.
I mean, like, after Trump's four years in office, America felt much greater.
I mean, we could all feel it in our bones.
We were just like, ah, yes.
And we all do.
We are awash in greatness.
I think that was my favorite thing about his re-election campaign, besides the moments when he got COVID, was that at the start of the campaign he hated the slogan, Keep America Great.
He loved MAGA and he was very sad about CAG, as the cool kids on the internet were calling it.
And then when COVID hit and fucked everything up, That was the one thing that made him happy, because he was like, now I can go back to make America great again.
Because I can be like, we were making America great, then COVID fucked it up, but we'll make it great again!
So I get to go back to my catchphrase that I couldn't use during a re-election campaign, because that would imply that I had fucked up my previous four years as president, and we needed to fix things.
Well, as a businessman, you would think that he would know that that's a stupid idea, because then, like, a bunch of people already own their hats, right?
So, what he should do, is he should change the slogan to, MAGA, with two A's at the end, Make America Great Again Again.
So that way, all of those suckers... You were gonna say that?
That way, all the suckers that bought the hat the first time around, they have to buy a new hat.
Or just modify their existing hat.
For the frugal people that don't want to buy a whole new hat, they can sell a hat expansion kit that's literally just an extra A in the same font and like a safety pin, but they can sell it for like $25 retail or whatever.
And it's like, you can spend $40 on the whole new hat.
Or, if you know, we know it's tight this time of year with gas prices going up because of sleepy Joe Biden.
You can just go ahead and safety pin this extra A onto your hat using Trump's official hat expansion kit.
Physical DLC for your MAGA hat.
I actually saw one of those stickers in the wild with Joe Biden pointing at the gas pump.
On the gas pump with Joe Biden pointing saying, I did this.
I pulled it off.
I just love that they're so obsessed with this.
I've seen so many posts on Gab from people saying, like, print out these stickers and put them here and here and here and go into libraries where only the filthy libs go because apparently literacy is a liberal prerogative.
To be fair, of the two political parties, if I had to guess which one was more prone to being one of those readin' type of folks, I know where I'd place my bet.
Between Democrat and Republican, which one do you think is more prone to reading?
I am all in on Democrat.
All chips on Dim.
You can get a lot of reading done when you're hooked up to a ventilator, right?
Yeah, oh absolutely, absolutely.
Although, I mean nowadays they're telling their constituency to not go to the hospital because the hospitals are death traps that will kill them.
And they won't even give you your horse paste!
Yes!
You have to fight with the... That is becoming one of the weirder stories that is just constantly being circulated around QAnon is people fighting for the right to give their loved ones the ivermectin in order to save them in the hospitals and going to court and doing all this kind of stuff and a lot of these stories And with them winning, getting the horse paste to their loved one, and their loved one being saved, which is wild.
I've read one story like that that's actually been confirmed, and the hospital was like, oh, he was recovering before the ivermectin was ordered to be delivered to him by the judge.
Hey man, it's like that famous Beastie Boys song, you gotta fight for your right for horse paste.
I saw someone posting on Twitter the like the COVID intensity and spread and Florida is surprisingly low right now.
It's just blue and everywhere else is orange and red.
It's just because COVID has just ripped through Florida so many times now with 60,000 dead.
Yeah, it'd be like if you were doing it with forest fires.
It'd be like looking over an already pre-burned down forest and just being like, see?
There are no fires here!
No forest fires here!
It really is the forest fire.
Look at this, Libidiots!
Florida's doing great!
Because you guys had 60,000 people die.
They're either vaccinated or dead at this point.
Also, even if a single person never died from COVID in Florida again, I don't think I'm willing to give them the credit to say that Florida's doing great.
Florida... I don't think Florida has ever done great.
That's what Donald Trump should do.
He should just run for office in Florida.
America is a big task.
Why don't you just start by making Florida great?
If you could turn Florida around, maybe we'll think that you may be onto something.
Oh, man.
Florida continues to just need to be Bugs Bunny sawing it off, letting it drift off into the ocean.
Oh, that would be magical.
We could, I mean, the idea of being able to exile various and sundry COVID hotbed states, throw Florida into the sea, give Texas back to Mexico.
I mean, we have options.
We have possibilities.
We have ways to make this work.
There we go.
That's our platform.
Make Texas Mexico again.
Yes!
Mitma.
Yeah.
I'm pretty, having lived there, pretty okay with that.
Anyway, so how about that 1-6, eh?
We started talking about it, then quickly got distracted just dunking on conservatives.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, so we have the text messages from Fox News.
Again, it's really awesome that Sean Hannity and Laura Ingraham are the shadow cabinet around President Trump.
I mean, imagine if some shit went down with the Biden White House and Suddenly we got all these texts from like Rachel Maddow and various and sundry other libs on the television telling Biden how to handle it.
I think Fox News would probably take that very well.
I think that there wouldn't be wall-to-wall coverage for a week about how the liberal media is controlling their puppet in the White House, Joe Biden.
But then on top of just having these random media folks talking to To Trump about how 1-6 was bad, we had a bunch of Republican lawmakers who have had their names mysteriously censored by the 1-6 Commission.
I get the feeling that they're letting people know that they know, but they want to see what those assholes do while they're twisting in the wind.
There was one guy who came out like Republican lawmaker and this was only on this was like right after the election.
This was not even after the states had been officially called and Biden had won.
But like one guy texted Meadows and was just like, I got an aggressive play here.
Uh, Pennsylvania, Georgia, Arizona, the states where the Republicans control the legislator.
They should just send their delegates, uh, send their Trump electors to DC to certify the election for Trump and, uh, just generate a shit show and throw it up to the Supreme Court.
And that should be our relevant play.
And I just, it just goes to show that they didn't even wait for Biden to win officially before they were already like looking at each other going, you know what?
Fuck democracy.
It's bullshit.
Let's just declare ourselves the winner and move on.
We don't need to count these votes.
We don't need to see who actually won.
Even if it was us, we don't care.
This whole letting the people have a say in who governs them, fuck that.
Let's just run this place.
Let's just run it.
And we rigged the Supreme Court, right?
I mean, why'd we do that if we're not going to use it?
Why'd we do that if we're not going to use it?
And Trump's executive privilege was denied by the court because they're like, hey, we can only have one president at a time.
No, you don't get to say what you were doing is secret because of executive privilege.
You're not the president.
Yes, that happened recently, and I believe it was about a week ago, and that appeal court gave Trump 14 days to appeal to SCOTUS, which means that because all Trump is ever doing in these situations is delaying and trying to run the clock out, so Trump is going to literally on the 14th day file the appeal to the Supreme Court.
But, and the thing is, is I just hear so many people that are just miserable and into doom porn and all this kind of stuff.
And they're just like, well, then SCOTUS is going to back him up and accept it.
And he's not going to have to do it.
And it's, and I just look at that and I, my reaction is, did you see what happened after the election?
QAnon was constantly freaking out about, oh, we've got the Supreme Court in our back pocket, the Kraken lawsuit, the Texas lawsuit, all these lawsuits are coming, this election's going to be pulled down just the way Mike Lindell said it would, and Trump's going to be back in power.
There's a real chance they just declined to hear it.
Yeah, it could go either way.
I 100% believe they're going to decline to hear it.
They have no interest.
Because, I mean, for anyone who thinks that Kavanaugh and Coney Barrett and Gorsuch have any loyalty to Trump for getting them on the court, they don't give a shit about him.
They're like, thanks for the lifetime appointment, sucker.
Go enjoy golfing in Mar-a-Lago or wherever it is you're living your life.
We're gonna use our power for ourselves and fucking over women with abortion restrictions and striking down Roe v. Wade.
We're not gonna open the Pandora's box of executive privilege decisions for Donald Trump.
You're a nobody.
You're yesterday's news.
We don't care about you.
So the 1-6 committee has everybody's texts and we're just showing them to everybody and everyone was texting Trump being like, You gotta reign these idiots in?
Is that like...
So what happened here is that Mark Meadows was, quote-unquote, cooperating with the 1-6 committee, and he gave them a bunch of stuff.
And after he gave them a bunch of stuff, they were like, wow, you've given us a lot, but all you've done is given us leads that make us need even more information.
So you need to continue cooperating with us.
And at some point, Mark Meadows realized, oh shit, I've hung a lot of people out to dry with the information I've given even now.
And if I give more information, it's probably going to go really bad for Team Meadows and all of my Republican friends and probably Trump as well.
So.
At some point, Mark got the message in his brain that cooperation is no longer a good idea.
And it was at that point that he and his lawyers were like, hey, 1-6 committee, I helped you out some.
That should be good enough, right?
And the 1-6 committee was like, no, no, it's not.
There was a Yeah, okay, I saw that.
that was talking before the house.
I don't know if she's on the Winsix committee or not, but she posted a, basically what you would have a meme.
She posted a sign that was like a meme.
And it was from a Republican lawmaker that was sent to Mark Meadows that said,
hey Mark, check your signal.
Because they were using it like WhatsApp because Signal's one of those encrypted text.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, I saw that, yeah.
Yeah, and they're just like, the only one who can tell us what was sent on Signal
is Mark Meadows.
And we wanna know what that message was.
If this guy thought it was so sketchy, he couldn't send it by a regular text.
And that was, so basically Mark Meadows was like, no, I'm not giving you my signal texts.
No, I'm not doing these other things.
So, uh, now just today, I believe the House of Representatives has voted to hold Mark Meadows in contempt of Congress.
And so.
That's going to wind its way over to the DOJ.
And I know a lot of people hate Merrick Garland and think he's moving too slow.
And all that good stuff.
But we do know that the DOJ charged Steve Bannon with two counts of contempt of Congress.
And Bannon is going to have to go to trial.
And the government's attorneys have said, yeah, this trial will take one day.
And we're probably not even going to call witnesses.
Because we might have to call one witness to walk up to the, to just stand before the jury and be like, yeah, so Congress subpoenaed Steve Bannon to show up and he wouldn't do it.
And then the prosecutor's like, is that illegal?
And the guy will be like, yeah, it's illegal.
When you get subpoenaed by Congress, you have to show up.
And they'll be like, no more questions!
And I just wonder what the defense is gonna be.
Is it gonna be like, hey, up yours, buddy!
Or like, who made you the boss?
Who made this law?
I mean, I just really wonder what they even think a relevant defense for this is.
Although I think Bannon on his podcast When does notable gonna-fuck-this-up big talker Alex Jones have to show up?
I don't think they've scheduled Alex Jones' testimony yet, although even though Alex Jones has beaten his chest and talked about how he's a rough, tough guy, He released a statement saying that he's probably just going to plead the fifth because... Oh, right.
He talked about, yeah, he's just going to keep saying, fifth, fifth, because he's a big fucking coward.
And nothing he can say won't incriminate him.
Oh, God, no.
Oh, yeah.
That's the one thing about the Fifth Amendment that's like fun in that spot is that once you take it for one question, you have to take it for all of them.
Because if you stop pleading the fifth, For something, then that means the other ones, that makes you look even worse by comparison.
So, that will be interesting because, I mean, he and Roger Stone, they're both on the schedule to have to show up and do this.
And, I mean, I remember Roger being very scared of going to a club fed and basically doing the, please Donnie, two scoops, get me out of jail pleading and begging tour.
So, I really can't imagine that either one of them have the stomach to actually fight this the way Bannon or Meadows is fighting it.
But Meadows is fighting it because I think Meadows just has way too much dirt.
And if he gave it up, he would, like, fuck over a lot of people.
And he'd basically be the star witness of the prosecution for the 1-6 committee.
Because...
He just had all these people texting him.
One guy on one seven texted him and was like, oh man, yesterday was yesterday sucked.
We gave it our best and things just didn't work out.
What can you do?
Sounding like they were the coach on a team that lost the playoff game.
Not a guy who was upset that American democracy was imperiled by a rioting mob
attempting to hang the vice president.
I mean, it's just, it's super wild.
Hey, it's only dangerous to the country if the mob isn't majority white.
All those lily white people, they were just there as tourists.
They were tourists.
They were breaking windows and macing police and hitting them in the head with fire extinguishers and, you know, in one case getting shot to death, being a true heroic patriot.
Hey, tasing them too.
There was some tasing going on.
Some light tasing.
A little sousa of tasing.
That whole back the blue thing really went out the window very quickly when the blue
were trying to stop these people from killing members of Congress.
Well, yeah, I mean, when you're a 17-year-old kid with an AR-15 protecting a Meineke from BLM protests, you're a hero.
When you're like an officially recognized police officer defending a government building, in this case the Capitol building, in our nation's capital, then you are the enemy sometimes.
It's all contextual.
Yeah, they have that one guy's text who just got charged for invading the Capitol, and like, afterwards he literally said, tase the blue, tase with four z's or whatever.
Because he was spicy!
No, what he meant was he wanted to get them some of that tea, that Taze tea or whatever.
He was like, hey, provide our boys in blue with a refreshing name brand tea.
That's all he was hoping for.
He was trying to be a good egg.
He was trying to take care of people.
He must be so dehydrated after a long day of assisting tourists around the premises of the Capitol building that he hasn't... Was it Roger Stone who hired a bunch of Three Percenters to be his security, and then they were in the Capitol later?
Yeah, Three Percenters and Proud Boys.
I mean, I know it's a hodgepodge of right-wing militia groups, but yes, that is...
That's one of the things that Roger Stone wants to plead the Fifth Amendment about is the fact that like these people were on your payroll and then they did the capital thing.
Did you send them there?
What was your connection to them doing that?
And I'm sure Roger would, if he didn't think the Fifth Amendment would be like, I have no connection to that.
I, those people acted of their own accord.
Leave me, leave me out of this.
I'm old and I really don't want to go to jail.
So, uh, fuck off with all that, with all that noise.
But so we had all that and I think that like and there was a bunch of stuff about how the the police were supposed to be there to protect the Trump people and there's been a pretty much a working theory that I'm seeing on Twitter and a lot of social media about how they were really hoping that Antifa and BLM, they were hoping that left-wing counter protesters would show up and that the left would actually start a fight with these people.
And then it could lead to this chaos where Trump could be like, Oh my God, the Capitol is unsafe.
We have to call off the certification of the electoral college for a few more days while we like tamp down everyone's anger and rage about all this stuff.
And also we need to look into all this voter fraud that is rampant in Crazy, and what they wanted was ill-advised left-wing podcasters to show up at the January 6th riots.
I could have been there!
Isn't that right, Al?
They were looking for podcasters.
Oh, and they almost got one.
Boy howdy, I should direct them to the Adventures in Hellworld podcast and our Patreon at patreon.com slash corporate politics.
It's like Alex Jones himself is here, just like right at that ad pivot.
I'm gonna change our $500 Patreon tier from the debate, because back in the day, everyone was like, oh, Mike Rains, you make fun of all these QAnon promoters with screenshots.
You won't engage them.
You won't debate anybody, you coward.
So I just put it on my Patreon that for $500, I'll have a one-hour debate with you, whoever wants me.
Come at me, bro.
I'll do it.
I'll do it for money, though.
So now that $500 tier will be right-wing crisis actors.
So, some number of us, because Sarge lives many, many million miles away from us.
He's actually an officer in Turai.
But at least two, or maybe one of us, if it's only Sarge, will go to your right-wing event as left-wing agitators.
We will be your antifa.
We will be whatever bad lefties you need in order to get your photo op.
For the low, low rate of $500, we will aggressively sell out all our representatives.
We're going to have to bump that price point up.
I'm not coming to a Klan rally.
Yeah, but is that even going to cover airfare?
I mean, come on now.
Yeah, it has to be local.
It has to be local.
I have to be able to get there without recharging my electric car.
So I basically have like a hundred mile radius around my house.
Maybe five hundred on top of expenses.
Yes.
And I fly first class.
Minimum.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
No Spirit Airlines for me.
No.
Fuck that.
They're the absolute worst.
Take that, Metallica and Spirit Airlines.
Boom.
We're just roasting everybody this week.
Boom.
Yeah, pretty soon we'll never be able to get a sponsorship because we'll just fucking run up the scoreboard on every single person offering a new sort of scooter service.
Hey, we're roasting Metallica so we can get that Napster sponsorship.
Yeah, I don't know how well paying the Internet Piracy Sponsorship is, but hey, Internet Pirates, get at your boy.
We're here for you.
We support your right to commit crimes.
Dude, the Internet Piracy Sponsorship game is incredible.
And I know because this podcast is sponsored by NordVPN.
Now folks, I've tried a lot of VPNs in my life.
I love how the VPN bitch is literally just like, change your country of origin so you can see a bunch of shit that's on Netflix that you're not supposed to be able to.
Fuck it, whatever.
It's so good.
Yeah, this is one step away from being like, hide behind our VPN so you can still use BitTorrent.
Remember BitTorrent, guys?
It's so good.
You can get whatever you want for free.
VPN.
I remember, I forget if it was Elle who told me this, but I remember there was this, a few years ago, there was this really weird ad for this cold medicine, and the selling point of the cold medicine was that it was really hard to turn it into meth.
They were adamant, they were like, our cold medicine is totally on the up and up, you cannot buy a giant quantity of our cold medicine to make methamphetamines with it.
And, like, the counter-argument should have been someone should have just sold a cold medicine that was basically meth, just add water.
It's like, yeah, this is for your cold, but if you just splash a little water on it, it's meth.
So, uh, hey.
You do what you want.
If you need to treat a cold, cold medicine.
You wanna... Do you remember that anti-drug commercial where they gave meth a jingle?
Uh, no, I don't!
Oh my god, that's not Tarzan!
Meth, oh, meth!
Got the cleanest house on the block!
Meth, oh, meth!
I did not make any of that up.
This is a commercial that only played in Sarge's mind.
No.
I have no fucking idea what he's talking about right now.
No, I'm gonna find it.
Oh, yeah, you send me that link and I'll post it to the Twitter of the podcast so that people can see that you're not insane.
Although, until you do this, I'm going to assume that you are insane.
Sarge, are you sure that you're not just confusing it with the Cars for Kids jingle?
I mean, it's so easy.
I found it.
I found it immediately.
If you go to YouTube and type in meth jingle, it is, boom, right there in the window.
Oh god.
Well, I guess you heard it here first, folks.
Go to YouTube and search for Meth Jingle.
If you want to avoid, uh, if you want to avoid fucking up your algorithm, NordVPN.
Now folks...
METH!
Oh, meth!
I'm so glad we've earwormed Sarge about a meth jingle.
These are the winding roads that Hellworld takes you on when you're doing this stuff.
And the toxicity of American democracy being murdered is so severe that you're like, you know what would pick me up?
You know what would make me feel better?
Knowing that there's a jingle for a hard drug that kills people.
It was supposed to be anti-drugs, but I just remember the amazing jingle for meth.
There's the link to YouTube right there in the chat window.
Ha ha!
Well, congratulations Elizabeth.
I just want it to be the old theme song from that show Fame, but with meth.
Meth!
I'm gonna live forever!
I'm gonna learn how to fly!
Meth!
Yeah!
So now that we're coming out of our meth delusion, also yesterday from the 1-6 committee was that 11 House Republicans' phone and social media records were subpoenaed by the committee, and there are some heavy hitters on this list, including Favorites of the podcast, Lauren Boebert, Marjorie Taylor Greene, the Nazi Paul Gosert, Jim Jordan.
So yeah.
Oh, the other Nazi, Madison Cawthorn.
So yeah.
And this is not them being subpoenaed.
This is like Verizon and AT&T and the people that just provide them with their cell service being like, hey, their phone records, yeah, in their texts, in their social medias, You can hand them over to us.
We'd really appreciate that.
Yeah, while we're at it, how about their cloud photo data for L for no reason.
Just don't worry about it.
Please turn that over to L immediately.
Thank you.
Thank you!
Well, I would be worried about getting Matt Gaetz's cloud data, because that could potentially implicate you in child pornography.
Oh yeah, no thank you.
Hard pass.
Yeah, so we're going to leave Matt Gaetz's information out of this request, so please and thank you on that front.
But it just it's very interesting to me that it just feels like this, the committee is just pulling on a lot of threads.
And the fact that they've done this thing, and I mean, they know who these people are.
And those people who sent those texts know who they are.
So I really wonder, Like, when is the next shoe going to drop with this stuff?
And also, I wonder how many counts of contempt of Congress they are going to hit Meadows with.
Because I know Bannon got two.
And like, from what they saw, the maximum sentence for a contempt of Congress charge is like one year in prison.
I would assume Bannon will probably get somewhere between six months to a year and a half in prison because there's no way he will not be convicted because he did it.
It's a crime that is the ultimate open and shut case in the history of the world.
I wonder if the committee will just be like, every single one of these questions is a different count of contempt of Congress that we want to hit Meadows for.
Because I saw a bunch of people saying that Meadows was cooperating a little bit because he was trying to avoid this charge, or if he did get charged, it would be a lesser charge.
So, I feel like he tried to be quite half.
For what it's worth, I do believe that is typically why people cooperate.
Yes!
Partially out of the goodness of their heart, when they know they haven't done anything wrong, and partially when they know they've done something wrong and they'd like to cooperate to avoid jail time.
Yeah, like Matt Gaetz's friend.
Who allegedly is cooperating in something, but man, I feel like it's been a hundred fucking years and Matt Gaetz is still not in prison.
So, considering how cavalier it seemed like he was about paying potential minors for sex, like, I mean, with that other shoe drops, holy fucking shit, bud, they're gonna be like, yeah, we had to wait because we really need to disrobe the evidence of the crimes against humanity case we've got going against Matt Gaetz or whatever.
We talked about it a million episodes ago, but his buddy cooperated down from 20 years to three, so...
He gave him something, but he still did enough that they're like, you paid for enough underage sex that you get to go to jail for three years still.
Yeah, you still get multiple years in prison.
You were very helpful, but not helpful enough to actually get out of the atrocities you've committed, costing you actual real jail time.
I was, yeah.
If he really wanted to avoid all this time, he just needed to give up who shot the working man.
And that's your Wire Reference of the Week!
This is why I need to have El in charge of the bumps, so he can actually have a soundboard that plays that for him after he says the line.
We can't go full Zoo Crew.
I don't know why we can't.
One day when we aggressively sell out, we will be the full... The Q Zoo Crew?
I like it.
We can workshop it.
The Os in Zoo are Qs now.
My price to go Zoo Crew is much lower than to go to a clan rally.
Fair.
That'll be our different tier of sellout.
The Q's U crew with Mike, Ray, Sarge, and Duke.
Get some.
Hail to the king.
90s movie reference.
Misogynistic reference.
I'm Duke Dukob.
If this pod drops below 60, it'll blow up.
Duke Nukem did have one thing right.
He has been hating cops for a long time.
Duke Nukem never really loved cops.
And it's just like, you know, for all the horrible shit that Duke Nukem was about, at least he hated cops.
Yeah, we can't say that.
Duke was always a cab.
Good on ya, Duke Nukem.
Good on ya.
So, I think that pretty much covers what we've got of the 1-6 committee.
I mean, the fun thing about this is that this is, in a way, almost like a QAnon for the left, where you just have more salacious details rolling out constantly.
This is basically what it was like during the Mueller investigation, but The difference there was that Trump was still in power and then he got his boy Bill Barr to like crush that thing once it got released and the media went along with it because the media loves Trump.
He's ratings.
He's good for them.
Yeah, now the bad guys, the cabal, are the ones running things.
I know it's an easy way to get a lot of likes and retweets, to be like, the 1-6 committee ain't gonna do shit, nothing's gonna happen, we're all doomed, democracy is dead, America has fallen.
But, uh, I mean, I'll be the, uh, I'll be the Knave Idiot.
I'll be the Charlie Brown running at the football thinking I'm going to be able to kick it.
Um, let's see how this plays out.
I mean, Steve Bannon's already going to jail.
Mark Meadows is probably going to be going to jail.
So, I mean, there are some good things happening here.
Do I want more better good things to happen?
Definitely.
But let's just see how it shakes.
Let's see how it shakes out.
I just desperately want something that disqualifies, actually disqualifies Trump from running again.
who just want to get excited over seeing Liz Cheney talk shit about Jim Jordan
and other Republicans that she hates.
I just desperately want something that disqualifies, actually
disqualifies Trump from running again.
I'm not asking for much.
I don't need to see him go to jail.
Although I'd like that, but it's never going to happen.
I'm not an idiot, I just want something that actually disqualifies him.
Like death?
That, I mean, I will not be recorded- Dude, would that work for you?
I will not be recorded as saying that I wish Trump would die, but, you know, that might be nice.
Oh, I'm certainly not saying that either.
I'm just saying that he's an elderly man, and of all the things I could think of that would immediately disqualify him for running for president, being no longer alive would be a pretty strong one.
Yeah.
Although, I mean, it's not stopping JFK Jr.
apparently, so who the fuck knows?
We do.
Has Roger Stone been called before the 1-6 committee?
I know he's out in Dallas talking to negative 48, but... Roger has been called to testify, but much like Alex Jones, we don't have an actual schedule for that yet.
But that's coming, and Roger has Also made it clear that he's going Fifth Amendment on this.
But yeah, Roger dipped down to hang out with Negative 48 and his crew of ever-dwindling supporters because it's odd that when you move everybody down to a city they don't live in, and they have to find room and board and food and ways to sustain themselves, To do that requires money.
It requires a lot of work in order to keep financing this operation.
And as time has moved on, Karma, a friend of the podcast Karma has been pointing out to me that more and more people are leaving or getting kicked out by negative 48.
Because of the fact that they're getting tight on funds.
Recently, he just threw a bunch of women out because the majority of his fellowship is women.
Yeah, it's mostly women.
Some of them left their families.
We've got husbands filing for divorce because their wives joined a cult.
which I mean it's it's this it's this life destroying destroying bullshit
that's like something that I don't think people really like get I mean it's just
the fact that assholes like this who are able to pull off shit like this do an
incredible amount of human damage and it's like it's really sickening and so
recently he's like throwing those people out And I don't know what Roger Stone's goal there was other than to just talk shit about JFK, the JFK assassination, and seeing if he himself could make a buck off of negative 48 and his crew.
But Again, because they don't have any money.
Yeah, I was about to say, that's a weird way to... You know what?
I'm gonna go to this group that's ever-dwindling because they're running out of fuds and see if I can milk some funs out of them.
Seems like not exactly a target-rich environment.
I feel like if any of those people had money, they probably already donated it to Negative 48 and the cult at large.
Yeah.
So those compounds aren't gonna buy themselves.
Yeah.
A story that keeps getting weirder and keeps lasting way longer than I thought.
I mean, when they had their first dumb, gematria-driven date, I was like, okay, well, this candle burns itself out naturally real quick.
And here we are, what, a month later?
Yeah, the one thing I will say that's like good is the fact that the group is dwindling and people are leaving and it feels like this is going to be more of a kind of an oddity like some sort of weird thing that only people that got deep into the weeds into the QAnon conspiracy theory Like know about and talk about maybe there'll be a documentary about it down the line and all the damage it did but it it feels a lot less like it's gonna go down the path of like Waco or Jonestown or some other really dark and horrible place because Negative 48 himself is in a lot of financial hot water.
I mean he is a guy that He had his Housing Owners Association filed a five-figure settlement against him for all sorts of fees and violations.
He and his estranged wife didn't even attend the court hearings, so he had a default judgment put against him.
So I mean this is a guy who was just sort of like winging it.
He's just out there just doing whatever it is he's doing because he doesn't even know what's going on in his life.
He's he hit a dead end.
He became Bankrupt.
And so, it's not like this was some sort of rich lunatic who decided to live out his lavish fantasy as being maybe JFK Jr., with an audience of sycophants that would praise him.
This was just a weirdo who managed to rope a bunch of bored people into this crazy, exciting life of, JFK Jr.' 's gonna come back and show us all the path to salvation, and Donald Trump's secretly the president, and all that kind of happy horse shit.
And it failed.
Negative 48 is no Jim Jones.
He's no David Koresh.
I don't remember the name of the guy at Ruby Ridge.
That wasn't really a cult.
No, that was just a militia guy, yeah.
But yeah, it just feels like this thing is going to burn out and probably negative 48 is going to have to face like some sort of reckoning. I mean, Lord
knows that between like the rumored drug use and all the weird
shit that's happening in Dallas itself, he's probably committed
real crimes down there. But on top of that, like the fact that
he's like running from his this like settlement against him from
the homeowners association, and all of these other luck with HOAs, they will know
I'm learning that.
Yeah, so I mean like the fact that he's like trying to like avoid all these rakes while throwing more rakes on the ground means eventually he's gonna step on one of them and the party is gonna end pretty abruptly for him.
So I mean that's like kind of the person that I think is most likely to do something stupid and to hurt somebody or hurt themselves.
I feel like the rest of the cult, while I'm sure there's like probably like 10 or 20 people that are just like in it to win it and like God speaks through negative 48.
I'm here to the bitter end.
At some point, some cops are going to show up and be like, hey, you're under arrest for fleeing a debt, or the gummies that we've been talking about here, or the fact that it appears you people kidnapped a homeless guy and robbed him, or something.
I was going to say, you're going to have to expand on that, if that's real.
Yeah, they've been dealing with homeless people in the area, because Daily Plaza is a place for people to camp out.
There was talk that they stole money from a homeless guy, and then they released a video of them buying clothes for homeless people, and helping people out, and trying to rehab their image, and make themselves look better.
So, it's really...
I mean, it's really weird how desperate the Negative 48 group are about getting good public relations.
Like, they always, like, film these videos where they're so happy and smiling with their weird JFK wearing a MAGA hat and the Get Over It sunglasses.
They just want to make it look like it's one big happy family down there, but from all accounts, not so much.
It's actually terrible and awful.
What?
Yeah, and everything's falling apart.
So it's not great.
It's not great.
It's bad.
It's very bad.
Oh man.
Yeah, and a story that keeps getting weirder.
Do we want to talk about old Ronnie Watkins?
Q himself did an interview?
Yeah, Ron talked to one of the main promoters of the whole stolen election thing, a guy named Joel Altman.
He's a little lower on the totem pole than Patrick Byrne and Mike Lindell and all the rest of them, but he's one of these guys that's in it to win it.
He's got his podcast, he's doing his work.
Joe made it very clear that he is here to platform Ron Watkins, to promote Ron Watkins, to do anything he can to help Ron win his election to the House of Representatives, because that's what America absolutely needs, is that clown getting into office.
Hey, with enough work, maybe he finally will get the Q clearance he has claimed to have for so long.
That would be so awesome!
Congressman Watkins, like, showing off a badge with a Q on it, being like, Boom!
I did it!
I got Q clearance!
Like our hero!
Wink.
Uh, yeah.
But he's doing actively bad at campaigning.
Like he has raised negative dollars, right?
Yeah.
He, uh, he is attempting, uh, on this, on this podcast and previously on his telegram, he has talked about, uh, using Bitcoin as a way to fund his campaign, which, uh, people have talked about probably being a, uh, FEC violation, even though the FEC is toothless and useless.
But, um, Ron on this interview talked about Ivermectin and he also said that he heard that in Australia that they're giving Ivermectin to vaccinated people and not to unvaccinated people because they want the vaccinated people to survive and make it appear that the vaccine is what is saving them when in reality it is the Ivermectin.
Well, I mean, that's neither here nor there.
Australia doesn't exist.
That's not a real country.
It was made up by the Cabal of the Deep State.
Take your pick.
Yeah, to try to convince us that the round earth exists in order to take us away from God.
I actually saw our boy Ghost Ezra had a photo.
It's the meme of the old rich men drinking wine and laughing.
And the caption was, we actually convinced these people that they're monkeys on a spinning ball.
And I was just like, oh man, creationism and flat earth.
I love it.
Just playing all the hits.
Tons of money in both of those.
Lots of incentives to be pushing the evolution theory and the round earth theory.
Yeah, there's so much money in big evolution.
People lining their pockets with that fucking survival of the fittest money.
Big Evolution, get at us.
We will sell out so hard.
I don't know what you want from us, but we will do it.
Big Evolution.
Oh god, I want that Darwin money.
That's what I want.
Oh man.
Ron's running for Congress and his dad, Jim, wrote a book.
He wrote a book called Sliced Americana.
Do you guys want to hear about this a little?
I don't have a ton of information.
Give us what little you have.
This is Sarge's miniature story time, because I just found it.
It just came out on the 13th.
Karma and Poker, Mike, were so kind to tag me on this.
So it's written by two authors, Jim Watkins and Sharon Green.
Sharon Green is a sci-fi novelist from the 80s, but here's the breakdown of Sliced Americana as it's written up on Amazon.
Jim Watkins, a pioneer of digital free speech and a veteran of extreme cancel culture, marches on.
This is his first of a series of novels, comma, explores the dichotomy of humanity's unique yet ever-evolving paths I don't know what that means.
Sliced Americana journeys into the bizarre, metaphysical, political, and inspirational.
That is one sentence.
Several stories intersect on many realms.
Ranging from seemingly banal to deeply philosophical, the Chronicles are meant to give us a new perspective of mankind, the powers of the universe, and beyond.
Prepare for the unconventional and let yourself take the path unknown.
I know that I'm always very happy when I have a book on the back of my book that says, some of this is banal, some of this is really fucking boring.
But hey, this is gonna suck.
Boy howdy Sarge, you better hope that we don't successfully make it to our 69 person Patreon subscriber goal, because if we do, you know what the next incentive is going to be.
We will get our listeners to pay us money to make you read this stupid book.
I always, like, Karma brought this up, so She has to come talk about this nonsense if I read it.
So, real quick... Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.
We can't rope Carmen into anything that Carmen doesn't want to do.
But we can rope you into it!
You are already officially part of the podcast.
So, you better cross your little phalanges there that people...
I mean, this was a given.
Jim Watkins, one half of Q, wrote a fucking book with a sci-fi fantasy novelist slash harlequin romance writer.
like laying out the rope we're gonna hang you with.
I mean, this was a given.
Jim Watkins, one half of Q, wrote a fucking book with a sci-fi fantasy novelist
slash harlequin romance writer.
Like Sharon Green, I have to assume Sharon Green did the heavy lifting and the writing in this.
And she has written such titles as the Farsight of Forever,
Silver Princess, Golden Knight, and then For Harlequin Intrigues.
Haunted House, Werewolf Moon, and Fantasy Man.
Oh dear.
I was going to say, before you said that, that the odds that she did 80% of the work on this book would probably be low.
I mean, that's really high.
80% might not be high enough for her level of effort.
Also, Werewolf Moon?
How fucking lazy.
Like, what a title that is.
Can you imagine?
From the author that brought you Werewolf Moon comes Vampire Coffin and Mummy Pyramid and word associated with other word.
Oh my god.
She didn't write a bunch after 2000.
Well, not that were published.
Everything's been online after that and She claims that they're very well received, but I don't think we'll have any sort of... Honestly, I'm actually much less interested in forcing you to read Rod Watkins's stupid book Collabo with her, as I am forcing you to read one of her Harlequin romance novels and getting back to us about it.
I was always going to be on the hook since this is a thing I started doing.
I was always going to be on the hook for Sliced Americana.
But that'll be our next Patreon thing, where I'll read some of Sharon Greene's Harlequin or historical romance novels.
We'll let the audience pick.
I'm all here for whatever weird euphemisms for sex she uses in those sections of the book, because romance novels are absolutely just a train wreck when it comes to that stuff.
I hope one of them is about JFK.
Wouldn't that be great?
I'm gonna make you do this, that, and the other thing, not because it is easy, but because I am HOD.
Let's see, she wrote some historical romance novels.
Let's look up... They better involve JFK after that.
Flame of Fury, Avon...
And now it's my favorite part of the podcast, Sarge's incredibly loud keyboard.
Yeah, the riveting pod content that our listeners crave listening to Sarge do research.
Yes.
Yeah, I'm looking at this book and I have no idea what it's about.
All right, ha-cha.
Yeah, Sharon Green seems like a great author.
Anyway, Ron Watkins has a book.
What a dumb fuck.
Isn't that hilarious?
Anyway, moving on.
Even grosser, it's Jim, the dad.
Oh, yeah.
Sorry.
I got confused.
I confused Wagyu cowboy hat with weird spider mustache.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They're both terrible people.
But speaking of good people, we should get into the mailbag and see what our listeners have to ask us this week.
Our listeners got questions.
We got answers.
It's time for Q and A.
So, we open up with Cleodora Silvestre, who I still get that name wrong.
I know Elle tried to correct me on it, but I'm incapable of pronouncing anything right.
Yeah, I mean, it's just one of those, like trying to convince you to watch The Venture Brothers, it's one of those things that I will bring up periodically and it will never stick.
It's not especially hard.
It's like an actual name that people have been using for a while.
Yes, it is!
I will strive to do better, and I will seek improvement in my life.
Or maybe I'm wrong.
Maybe Cleodora will get back to us and just be like, no, it's pronounced Sylvarstry.
I'm just going to stick to Cleodora at this point.
I'm not even going to attempt the second name.
I love that Cleodora is the one that you can wrap your head around, but Sylvestri just vexes you.
It does!
Cleodora, totally normal, rolls off the tongue.
What is this?
Sylvarstri?
Sylvardon?
It hits my brain in a bad spot.
I don't know how to tell you.
But anyways, QAnons are making a big deal out of a shot every six months for life.
Are any of them aware that us type 1 diabetics already have a lifetime of multiple shots every
day? Reducing this to a single shot every few months would be an upgrade for me.
Yeah, this is one of those things that they just love.
They love the idea that regular people couldn't possibly bear the burden of a biannual shot in order to prevent them from contracting a potentially deadly contagious virus.
Like the yearly flu shot.
Oh my God, that's so close to being a bridge too far.
If there were two flu seasons and I needed a summer shot and a winter shot, I would just be out.
I would never get the flu shot then because that would be a bridge too far.
Uh, when any of these people get diagnosed with cancer and they're told they're gonna need like 15 to 25 radiation treatments or chemotherapy, are they like, nope, just gonna die.
That's too many treatments and too short a window of time.
Unacceptable.
Yeah.
Sign me up.
Yeah, I'm just gonna call it a day.
I'm done.
But sir, it's stage one cancer.
It's eminently treatable.
You have like a 89% survival rate if you do this.
Nope!
Too much work, too much effort.
Just gonna let nature take its course because I'm about dialysis.
Oh, yeah.
Nope, yeah.
Just gonna actually die instead of letting a machine keep me alive by doing the job of my kidneys.
I mean, that is awful.
It's brutal stuff.
I mean, have you seen the peak physical condition of your average conservative?
Especially Trump supporters?
How would they have any idea what diabetes is like?
There's no way there's any overlap between conservatives and diabetics.
Get out of here.
L, making the solid points that I don't think about.
That is a great call, yes.
I mean, the Adonises with their Chinese soldier 12-packs walking into the ballot box to vote for Trump to be president again.
They would never have to worry about any chronic health conditions that could require constant treatment.
Yeah, every MAGA rally looks like the cast of Magic Mike.
Yes!
They're just the Spartans in 300 walking into the amphitheater with their glistening abs
and their man panties waving their spears around.
It's great.
Oh, well, then I guess that would make Joe Biden Xerxes.
Boom.
We're going to heroically defy you until the very end.
Cool.
And then you're going to die and I'm going to win.
All right, good.
Well, at least we got that out of the way.
This is taking a weird turn.
That's usually the welcome to hell world.
This is what happens.
Weird turds everywhere.
Our weird references will blot out the sun.
Yes!
And then we'll pot in the shade.
Anyway.
Boom!
I was hoping one of you guys would pick up the slack there, but obviously you guys haven't seen 300 recently enough.
You should go back and watch that movie.
It does not hold up.
I'm so shocked.
And you might be thinking to yourself, El, I thought that you didn't like it the first time you watched it.
You'd be right.
It still doesn't hold up.
It is worse than you remember.
Yeah.
The slow motion sex scene is still hilarious though.
What question are we answering?
We were answering a question about the fact that needing to get a shot once every six months is apparently a cross too heavy for QAnon to bear, and they think that us normies will quote-unquote wake up as a result of that terrible burden, and that we will finally cast down the chains of the deep state.
When they're like, hey, it's been six months since your last COVID booster, time to get boosted again!
And we're like, no!
Fuck it!
I won't go to CVS and have a sore arm for a day so I don't die!
Yeah, I mean... Where the fuck were all these heroic patriots when the, uh, the, when airlines started, or, like, you know, airports started taking me, making me take my shoes off to, like, get on an airplane?
That shit is such a hassle.
Right.
And it's just like, like, it's just like, you think this is gonna be the minor inconvenience that finally breaks the cable's back?
I somehow really doubt it.
Yeah.
Do these people brush their teeth?
I gotta brush my teeth twice a day?
Fuck this!
This upkeep for my dental health is a bridge far, way, way too far for me.
Sorry.
Unacceptable.
Never doing it.
It's just, it's so wild.
It's so wild that the minorest of things they think of as just oppression of the highest level.
Yeah, the conservative idea of freedom is literally just laziness.
Yeah, they don't like being told what to do.
Yeah, how dare you impugn my freedoms?
I had plans today.
I was going to sit around and watch television.
And she's like, alright, cool.
You don't want to take 20 minutes out of your day to go get that booster shot?
Maybe save the lives of you and your neighbors?
No way, man.
It's my life, my choice.
Alright, cool.
Well, good stuff then.
Nailed it.
So thank you for the question that went every which direction so
Sean Nathan asks are the Anons aware that the storm is upon us and that Meadows is the cold front moving in?
I actually saw one QAnon promoter bust out their favorite trope when they see that shit is going bad for
Team QAnon and that is that the 1-6 committee is Walking into a trap that Trump has cunningly laid for them.
And that is that the 1-6 committee is walking into a trap that Trump has cunningly laid for them.
Oh, it's a trap. It's a trap when they see that shit is going bad for Team QAnon.
Oh, it's a trap?
It's a trap.
They're going hard.
They're going hard trap here.
That Meadows and all these texts that Meadows gave them, that was just to lure them in.
And once they think they go for the motherload, then boom.
Trump and Meadows hit him with the razzle dazzle and show him the real texts where Pelosi and AOC and Harris,
because Biden's too senile and stupid to be a part of this.
They were the ones who actually orchestrated the 1-6 attack.
They're the ones who told the cops to stand down.
They're the ones who didn't deploy the National Guard.
And boom!
A lot of egg on your face, evil libs.
How do you like them apples?
I love it when they declare it's a trap.
Yeah, it's Trumpo Trap House.
Wow, that was hard to get through.
It turns out that the alliterative double truh is a difficult one.
I even did my vocal warm-ups before the podcast and everything.
I was rocking red leather and yellow leather.
It was incredible.
Elle has the best singing voice out of the three of us, for the people who've never asked that question.
Oh, no question.
That's not even a joke.
Nope.
I mean, it's a joke if you consider how bad my singing voice is.
It becomes a funny joke that if I'm the best out of the three of us, then woof.
Once we become podcast millionaires, maybe we need to get a singer on the payroll.
Yes.
So, thank you for the question.
Klutz Zero asks, do you think the pool of money the Grifters drink at will ever run dry?
Or will there always be marks with open wallets?
It's the latter.
There's always a sucker that you can find.
Oh yeah, a new fish is born every minute.
Yeah, no question.
Do you guys remember when John Edwards was popular?
Yeah!
He's still around, Grifton.
Oh, I'm sure that he is, but for a while there, he had like a nationally syndicated TV show or whatever, and people were just like, oh my god, his psychic powers must be so real!
And it's just like, wow, you guys are just the rubiest rubes.
I mean, holy, holy cripes.
Yeah, they never put together that the people talking to them while they were in line were mining them for information.
Yeah, I mean, they were one step removed from somebody just going up to them and just being like, hey, give me your money, and they're just like, okay, and then just reach into their wallet and just dump it out for them.
Yeah, I actually have a co-worker talk about how they went to Vegas, and while they were in Vegas, they saw a mentalist, and the guy hit them with so much shit that they did the whole thing.
They're like, there's no way he could have known!
And I'm just sitting there like, they're a professional mentalist.
They know all these tricks.
They know ways to get information out of you.
So old.
Yeah, like, either either they just did cold reading and they're very good at it. Or they were able to in some way,
get your ticket information to get your name, then find your social media profile, and be able to pull that shit.
Like, they can do all kinds of stuff like the good ones are very good at cold reading. And then the guys who have a lot
of money and backing can turn it into hot reading where they actually have you pegged.
They know who you are before you even walk in the room, so they can just start talking about you, and you're just like, there's no way they could have known!
It's like, actually, we have your credit card information.
That gave us your name.
That gave us your social media.
We have photos of your family.
We know all your kids' names and their birthdays.
We have everything.
It's really not hard.
Yeah, you can defeat any mentalist by just lying, right?
Say my mother's name was Mary, and they're just like, oh, I'm getting an M name over here.
Are you related to somebody named Mary?
And you just go, no.
No, I'm not.
And then just see how quick they pivot and try to, like, go.
They're just like, oh, well, maybe it was, like, uh, are you sure?
Like, maybe it was an N. Is it Nancy?
You're just like, oh, my God, my mother's name is Nancy.
And then you just lead up down a rabbit hole the whole time inside.
You're just like, I could just tell this guy anything I wanted to.
He is very easy to trick, it turns out.
Yeah.
John Edwards still out there banging around.
He's got, like, an hour-long YouTube video of him It being interviewed by someone just in last April about dealing with grief, and he might have his own podcast.
Yes, he does.
Oh, God.
Oh, man.
John Edwards, The Grift.
That should just be the name of his podcast.
I just hope that his podcast is just him, like, broadly cold reading all of his listener base.
Where it's just like, I can sense that somebody out there just encountered loss.
Maybe the loss of a child, or a pet, or some other loved one.
I'd be getting a name that starts with a letter and like there's one sad lady at home whose husband just died and she's like, John Edwards is talking to me!
I have to give him $50!
Man, fuck that cool.
And then there was, at the same time, there was the Pet Psychic was on.
Ugh.
Yo, if you get tricked by Pet Psychic, you never deserve your money to begin with.
When I hear that these celebrities have Pet Psychics on their payroll or whatever, I'm just like, wow.
It is astonishingly unfair that you have wealth.
I would like to point to that as exhibit A as to why I am an atheist.
Like, why would a god let this happen?
Why does this person have so much money that they could do anything they want with and what they're doing with it is paying a pet psychic because they think that this person could interpret the will of their cat?
So fucking dumb.
Nobody should have wealth.
It's like the end result.
It is insane.
Pet psychics are proof that capitalism has failed and must be destroyed.
Yeah, we've had a good run, I think.
We can all go home now.
Yeah.
And for the record, I want John Edwards' podcast to be renamed The Grief Grift, because I think that's exactly what he is and what he does, and he should be really on the nose.
So, uh, thank you for the question.
Drifting over with John Edwards.
Yes!
Yeah, that's why we're still also poor.
We're not willing to just shamelessly grift and feed off of people's grief because they lost someone they love.
Yeah, we don't want to find people in their weakest moment and be like, hey, we can comfort you for money.
And then that person is like, I really need comfort, and I have money.
I will make this exchange.
And then we're like, comfort.
And they're like, ah.
And we're like, money.
I mean, we have to draw a line somewhere.
Like, I'm not about to go up to a widow and just be like, hey, patreon.com slash poker politics.
If you donate under $5 a month you get access to all of our bonus content.
But what does this have to do with my dead husband?
Nothing, really.
I was just thinking maybe... We all know that your dead husband loved bonus content.
Come on now.
I'm going to get a tarot deck and then one of our Patreon tiers is Sarge does a tarot reading for you and just be like, okay, I see you should go to therapy.
The Seven of Swords here says that mental health is really important and you should go talk to a trained mental health specialist.
That'll be $50.
You're welcome.
Yeah, so the the succinct answer to the question is yes, the the rube well is bottomless.
We were still in a question.
Yeah, it just happened to be a question about rubes and how easy it is for them to part with their money at patreon.com slash poker politics.
You can be our rubes.
That's that's what we need to start calling our audience the rubes.
Yeah, that's great.
We've called them Beautiful Babies and Nasty Weirdos, now we're just going directly to Rubes.
Welcome to Rube Nation, you suckers.
Give us money.
Sarge is intent on alienating our fanbase by just giving them ever more unflattering nicknames.
The nickname I have given our listeners literally includes the word beautiful in it, but then Sarge is just like, Beautiful Babies, no deal.
Nasty Weirdos, Nasty Weirdos, no deal.
Rubes.
Yeah, donate $5 or more and you can join our cavalcade of unfuckable losers!
Well, we'll name the different tiers.
So the bottom tier will be nasty weirdos, then there'll be rubes, then suckers.
I'll keep workshopping that.
Alright, next question.
Yeah, oh man.
I can't wait for next week's intro where I'm like, and I'm joined as always by Sarge!
And he's like, hi you stupid idiots!
And I'm like, whoa!
Jesus.
We're getting spicy!
So ConfidentlyBefuddled asks, it seems like the super spy faction is fizzling out while the spiritual and new age factions are growing.
Is this largely volume to noise ratio with Protzman aka negative 48 and Lin, or is there an actual exodus happening from some of the factions?
It's really hard to know the analytics and the demographics of the QAnon factions and how they're moving, but the one thing I will say is that it's harder and harder to keep up the super spy bullshit when you're just losing all the time.
You're a QAnon supporter and you have to turn on the television.
And when you turn on the television, you see evil Joe Biden and evil Kamala Harris as the people that run your government along with evil Nancy Pelosi and evil Chuck Schumer.
And a lot of those people are not white or Christian or men.
There's things that just trigger the anger in these people's brains.
And so When you don't see the super spy getting the job done for you, it's a lot easier to turn to God and be like, hey, God, you're all powerful and shit.
You gotta crack down on these assholes, right?
You gotta set things straight for us.
And then God is like, oh, I will, but in ways that are too mysterious for you to understand.
It may seem like you're losing, but I assure you, you're winning.
He's like, thanks, God!
Yeah!
And the man with that deep voice is actually PrankMedic or another grifter who's just speaking on behalf of God to you to make you feel better so you'll give them money.
What?
No!
I'm totally him!
I'm the guy!
Believe me!
I'm the capital G man!
You know it!
Yes, God, the ultimate grift, the Ur-grift of all humanity.
That's where we're at.
All these QAnon supporters that I see, they invariably will turn to God as a way to Bolster your faith.
Bolster what you believe in.
Keep on keeping on, because eventually God wins, and so you're gonna get the payoff.
It's just gonna be on God's timetable, which... I mean, look at all the successful cults.
They anchor them in religion, so going to God is the easiest way to keep your grift going and the easiest way to get your grift started.
To be fair, not all of them.
Scientology did just fine talking about spooky space alien spirits.
They made their own religion.
Yeah, well, I mean, meh, religion in quotation marks, but they certainly made their own basis for faith, that is for sure.
Yeah, like, the point still stands.
Like, religion, make your own god.
Like, if you make your own god, then you get to write, then they have to, everyone has to buy their books from you.
They can't go to the Christian bookstore.
Yeah, I mean, the third Q-drop referenced Satan.
Just, apropos of nothing, the first two Q-drops were like, Hillary Clinton's about to be arrested, isn't that gonna be great?
And then the third Q-drop is just, out of nowhere, many in our government worship Satan.
Why did you throw that in, Q?
What the fuck does that have to do with anything?
Well, it's because there's an audience out there who wants to hear that their enemies are Satanists, and that I am a good guy who loves God, and thusly I am against the bad guys, the Satanists.
Yeah, it's real easy to get into a movement when everything is black and white, and nothing's more black and white than God and the devil?
Right, exactly.
I mean, it is the simplest, easiest way to make yourself the good guy to say, I'm aligned with God and my enemy hates God.
And that's it.
You don't need to explain the morality play further.
It's already made crystal clear in the audience's mind what is going on.
And what is going on is that you're going to save the world, and God will shine his blessings upon those who support you, and they will smite those who oppose them.
It's just the ultimate easy scam.
It's so simple.
And because religion is such a part of society, it's so easy to sucker people.
Pepe Lives Matter is my favorite version of this, where once a week, they'll just be like, hey, I understand, guys, that Biden's still the president, nothing's ever happened, but do you truly think the cabal can fight the power of God?
Do you truly think that God will not prevail in the end?
And it's like, well, when's the end?
Define the end.
It's been 2,000 years since they crucified Jesus, and God hasn't decided to give us a payoff.
For that.
So, we've just had 2,000 years of humanity where those people lived and died with no payoff, but Pepe and QAnon are the lucky loos who get to live in the generation of the Rapture, or whatever.
I mean, it's just, it's so ridiculous.
Well, yeah, because they support Trump, the ruler of rulers, or whatever that one person was calling them.
Truly, Donald Trump is the king of kings.
Oh man, what else do we got?
So Reverend Xenofact asks, your podcast may mock, but we also know from Mike that you folks sometimes have people reach out to you.
So how can others mock QAnon while still being there to help people?
After, of course, joining your Patreon and also making you all rich or subscribing to Elle's OnlyFans.
The one thing I will say is that I, on my Twitter feed, I only go after promoters.
I would never, like, find someone with, like, five followers, like, talking shit on the internet.
They'd be like, look at this dum-dum.
Like, the people that I am pointing out are shitheads and assholes are grifters.
They're scam artists.
Now, some of them aren't doing this for money.
They're just doing it for internet attention, and they want to feel special, but they're just promoting this brain poison, and that's all there is to it.
Rank-and-file people, they are going down this path of their own volition.
This is confirmation bias at its nastiest and most brutal.
But at some point, there are QAnon followers who will eventually realize they're being bullshitted.
There is Jittar.
He's been interviewed by CNN.
He's one of the moderators on QAnon casualties.
He had that moment where he realized, wait a minute, I'm being lied to.
People do leave QAnon because it's ridiculous.
Praise be for me, I've had like five or so people tell me that reading my ridicule of these promoters has made them realize that these people are shitheads, that they're not doing anything other than running a scam, and it's helped them out.
All I can say is, is that if anyone ever DM'd you to say, Hey man, I'm having some questions about QAnon.
I don't know what to think about it.
80% of the time they're trying to red pill you.
They're trying to rope you in by getting into a conversation where they hit you with stuff.
But the other percentage is people who are actually honest.
And if you talk to them, they'll, they'll take what you said under advisement and they'll, and they'll roll with it.
So, All I can say is don't punch down.
Look at the guys who are making big bucks off this shit and call them out for that.
Call them out for being scammers.
Call them out for building an audience and a brand off this stuff.
We had Jordan Sather, who sells $32 cans of coffee, being all butthurt because Juan07 has an Aston Martin.
And he's like mad.
He's like, oh, look at this grifter making this money that he has a nice car.
My $32 cans of coffee don't get me a nice car.
And it's like, that's just one grifter being jealous of another grifter's success.
Like, that's all they want.
They just want money from this stuff.
The guy in the Matrix, I can never remember his real name, but I remember the QAnon Anonymous podcast was talking about seeing that guy dipping into an ultra-expensive steakhouse after a QAnon rally.
And it's just like, yep, that's what this guy's in it for.
He's in it because he's getting people to Donate to his podcast and his patreon and you just raking up the bucks and living the good life off the people he's scamming so I think that's really the best way to like Help like the people who are giving away their money is to be able to show them You are giving money to a scam that is all this is and that scam makes you feel happy But at the end of the day, it's a scam period
Yeah, I'm not as high-minded as Mike is, personally.
I can't say that I don't ever punch down.
I punch all around.
I'm like a punchin' machine.
I'm like a whirlwind of punches.
My punches just go wherever the bit takes me at the time.
But, you know, comedy's rooted in truth, and some people are gonna be receptive to seeing that nugget of truth, and those people, like, you know, it really just You know, it boils down to sort of like a case-by-case sort of thing where you just have to interpret whether or not the joke you're making is worth it and then in the same way that like when somebody reaches out to you to maybe
Maybe need help or maybe try to suck you into a grift or whatever into your DMs.
You just have to put in the work and feel it out and try to figure out what you're doing at any given moment, which can be tough.
Like all things, it requires personal responsibility, which is why I don't necessarily have the same exact moral code as Mike does when it comes to where the punches land, because I do think that at the end of the day, a lot of these people that are getting suckered, If they don't have a mental health condition or whatever if they're just doing it because it makes it feel good that like Personally, I think that there is some personal responsibility issues involved and you know Not everybody is just like like a victim's victim like you could be a victim of a grift but like of your own making and and like those are the people that are the hardest to sort of like
work with and just sort of like get to come around because you could be like an otherwise completely reasonable responsible human being and still somehow just this one thing tickles your fancy to the point where you just tumble down this rabbit hole but like you're not depressed you don't have schizophrenia like you're you're just a regular person who happens to be about this one incredibly niche thing And sometimes those incredibly niche things are completely benign, like you're into Vocaloids or whatever, like you're a big anime fan, or you have some sort of other... Like, I like Gunpla!
Alright, cool, you're not hurting anybody.
But sometimes the thing that tickles your fancy is QAnon, and that's dangerous, and I don't necessarily think that just because you're not a grifter means that I shouldn't throw a punch your way.
Because like, it really, but again, in the same way that I think it goes person to person, it's also our responsibility as content creators and people who are like plugged into this particular community to sort of, you know, it's our responsibility to sort of pick and choose our battles, pick and choose our moments, pick and choose our jokes and what we put out into the world.
But at the end of the day, we're not all in lockstep on like where the lines are.
And I think that's for the best, because the podcast would probably be pretty boring if
we were all just like completely like down the road, like all like, you know, I make
my joke about taking the sellout pills all the time for a reason.
You know what I mean?
I'll never become a podcast millionaire if I'm just like, hey, you, you're a straight
cisgendered white male.
You make like $70,000 a year.
Life should be easy mode for you.
Why the hell are you supporting QAnon?
You're an idiot.
I'll throw that punch, because fuck them.
But maybe Mike wouldn't.
Maybe Sarge wouldn't.
And that is what makes our gumbo extra spicy.
I think be there for people if they're coming out of it, and try and point out inconsistencies, but it's been proven time and time again that confronting people that are deep into something only makes them pull in harder.
It's just like... But guys, let me... Audience, hold on a second.
I have to pull my co-hosts aside real quick.
Guys, if we save everybody, we won't have any fucking content anymore.
We'll never get to be podcast millionaires.
We just talked about how there's a new fish born every minute.
I don't think we're in any danger.
Mike, I'm looking at the clipboard here, and we're getting word from the top that the bosses are really going to need you to start punching down.
Hey, if Soros needs me to punch down, I'll do it.
I'm here for the boss.
Him and Lady Gaga, they pull the strings.
I just do what they tell me to do.
It's one giant hive mind.
There's no actual independent thought here.
I would say the most important thing to do is just to remember to be receptive to the people who are trying to get out, the way that Sarge said.
Like, Sarge brought up a great point that I forgot to mention, but there are some people who are currently entrenched in it that will want to, like, you know, separate themselves from this sort of nonsense, and you have to give those people the benefit of a doubt when they're getting out of it, because, you know, they are victims just of a different sort, Uh, and, you know, you're just supposed to believe in the intentions of the victim.
So, like, it's, like, you know, if somebody's just like, hey man, like, do me a solid and help, like, like, I, I, I'm pretending, or, like, either I'm pretending to be receptive to it, or I'm actually receptive to hearing, like, why you think what I believe is wrong, hit me with it.
Like, even if you're afraid that they're just pretending so that they could try to, like, rope you into something, you still have to take your shot.
Because periodically you're going to encounter one of the real people that you're going to pull out of the muck.
Right.
I agree with that wholeheartedly.
And finally, Pancake Peasant directly to Hell World L says, my question is how dare you withhold this OnlyFans from us?
How else are we going to get one hour loops of accented ASMR beautiful baby positive reinforcements?
I think we just got like four more people on Patreon just from that.
Just like really terrible like awful just like oh beautiful babies. It's me mysterious. Oh, I just want to say
I think you're doing a pretty good job of it. Yeah. Yeah, so, you know go other words put a little positivity in it,
right?
I Think we just got like four more people for our patreon
just from that. That was that was incredible. I Love our ASMR is just quiet
Yes!
In my mind, ASMR is literally just being quiet.
Yep, that's what it's all about.
Oh, man.
That's super wrong.
Yeah, and just scratching something that has a pleasing noise to it when you're doing that makes it perfect.
Oh, man.
And that leads us to our question of the numerous, as it were.
What are you looking forward to?
Um, well, same as last week.
Spider-Man!
So that comes out, I guess, tomorrow evening?
I haven't really looked at Showtime.
Yeah, it's a Friday release, which of course means that you can see it as early as Thursday at 3 o'clock or whatever.
I just love how the movie industry is like that.
It's just like, coming this Friday, get your tickets starting Thursday at 3.
And it's just like, OK, I don't think your release date means what I think you think it means.
So funny.
So still Spider-Man.
And yeah, that's it.
I'm a sad boy.
You know, we're a secular group of folks for the most part, but I'll say I'm excited for Christmas.
Not necessarily the actual 25th itself, but I've got a Friendsmas gathering coming up on Sunday, and I've got presents to wrap, and joy to spread, and it's going to be great.
One of my friends is just recovering from surgery, so I'm very excited to get her her Christmas gift, because I think she's going to like it a lot.
It's going to help boost her spirits.
So yeah, I'm excited to spread a little holiday cheer over the next week.
That's really cool.
I'm just looking forward to actually having the Patriots back on my television after they played not football on Monday night a week ago, where it was literally just people, small children, cats, dogs, everyone being blown around by a windstorm, and I was told that the Patriots won that game because points or reasons.
So actually seeing my local foosball team play actual foosball will be very exciting for me.
That'll be fun.
And I think I brought up Spirit Island last week, but yeah, I'm very excited to give this game a try because I was watching some playthroughs and it seems like a game that's incredibly crunchy.
It's got so much stuff going on that it's gonna be really fun.
I also, I really enjoy Pandemic.
So I enjoy games where it's like you and the team fighting the board itself.
And the idea that the board itself can just kick your ass and make everyone mad.
It's such a fun game mechanic to me that like, you can literally be sitting around and being like, God damn it guys, we lost.
We lost to this inanimate object that defeated us with its programming.
That's just, I don't know why I enjoy that, but the tension of it is very interesting to me.
Yeah, it's so funny.
I actually play a shitload of board games, and I actually tend to really hate those style of games.
I just think it's great because my love of board games came from gaming, in large part, with you way back in the day, during the first wave of the Eurogames takeover with Settlers of Catan and all that.
It's just so weird how over time the particular interests and paths of people can diverge despite coming from the same source.
You really like the cooperative versus board games and are still really into the social deduction games, and I've sort of moved off of both of those pretty hard.
Which is why, if you're one of our wonderful, beautifuller babies who have been partaking in game night, you never see the Mysterious L playing Secret Hitler, because Mysterious L fucking hates Secret Hitler now.
I think I've played enough Secret Hitler for two lifetimes.
So, get at me once, I've resurrected twice, and maybe, if I don't resurrect into the body of Hitler, maybe we can play some Secret Hitler.
Otherwise it would be pretty obvious.
I am not Hitler!
Overt Hitler, with the Mysterious L.
Alright, well rock on!
So lots of stuff to be excited about going forward.
You know what we're all excited about is the support from our wonderful, beautiful babies, and the beautifuller babies among you, who are the ones who are supporting us at, and you heard it here first, patreon.com slash PokerPolitics, a URL which I've mentioned I think a dozen times this episode.
But if you like what you're listening to and you want to support us by giving us a little bit of a donation, a tip for your dealer if you'd like, you could do so by visiting that there URL and supporting us financially.
We really appreciate it when you do.
Donating at the $5 and above tier gets you access to all of our bonus content, of which there's a tremendous amount and more coming.
And by tremendous amount, I mostly mean just like several different series, including Kabalin, The Fowler's Deed, Sarge's Conspiracy Storytime.
We just started What We Do Out of Shadows, which is pretty interesting.
So a bunch of stuff there for our $5 and above Patreons at patreon.com slash PokerPolitics.
This week, happy to say that we have four new beautifler babies.
And one beautiful other baby upgrading from the $2 tier to the $5 tier to get that sweet bonus content.
So thank you very much to the following people for supporting the show.
Mick Volks or Mike Volks?
It's MIC, which when I read it as somebody who used to do the hip-top, I read as Mike, but it could be Mick, so either way.
Emily K.E.
Finch.
I'm not sure what K.E.
stands for, and it does appear to be not capitalized on purpose, so I consider my interest piqued.
Josh, that's pretty simple.
I'm going to pronounce that right nine times out of ten at least.
And Lizdaphobia, thank you guys so much.
And Molly V. for increasing your donation amount from $2 to $5.
We really appreciate it.
I'm happy to say that that puts us at 67 out of the very nice 69 people supporting our Patreon.
If we get to that 69 number before the end of the year, we are going to do another Adventures in Hellworld cross-bingeworthy crossover podcast where the gang will feast their eyes upon and then discuss the merits and demerits of Reno 9-1-1, colon, the search for QAnon.
So, two more Beautiful Heart babies will unlock that sweet bonus content for you folks.
Thank you, everybody, for your support.
And even if that support isn't coming financially, you know, if you just think the show is good and you want to tell a friend, you want to promote us on the social media, you want to give us a five-star review, all that stuff helps the show.
If you do have money and you don't want to give it to us because we're just a bunch of loudmouth jerks on the internet, you can go ahead and donate it to love146.org.
They are an organization whose vision is the end of child trafficking and exploitation.
And, unlike the dickheads at QAnon, we would actually like to do something to stop that.
So, if you would like to donate some money to love146.org, they are out there doing good work.
As always, I need to thank DJ Minimal Effort for our intro music.
It gets better every time I hear it, which is crazy because I've heard it a billion times at this point.
I'd like to thank our buddy Frosty, who you can find on Twitter, at FrostyVO, for our content warning and the voice of QAnon and all of our bumps.
And also, if you can't get enough of myself and Sarge, We have another podcast, a spin-off podcast from this show, where we discuss pop media called BingeWerdy.
You can find us on Twitter at BingeWerdy, that's B-I-N-G-E-W-O-R-D-Y, and you can find our podcast wherever podcasts are provided.
Obviously, it's the holiday season, and we just dropped a double dose of holiday cheer on you this past Monday, doing our shows on Santa Claus the Movie, which is Absolutely, completely bonkers, and Elf from 2003, a timeless holiday classic with some problematic elements that we happily get into during the show.
So, once again, thank you for listening, and for another successful episode of the Adventures in Hellworld podcast, I have been your host, Hellworld El, joined as always by Hellworld Sarge and our beautiful expert of all things QAnon crazy, Mr. Mike Rains.
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