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Oct. 14, 2021 - Adventures in HellwQrld
01:22:26
Adventures in HellwQrld Episode #56: Gryfter Warz

The QAnon Megapowers EXPLODE as Lin Wood goes at MTG and everyone is forced to take sides. Also the Southwest Pilots might have walked out and Ron Watkins wants to be a big boy in politics. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Time Text
Hello everybody!
I am Mike Rains, a.k.a.
PokerandPolitics, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld.
I am joined, as always, by Sarge.
Hello from the internet.
And the mysterious El.
Hello, my beautiful babies!
We've been expecting you for some time.
Is that Italian or spooky or kind of?
It's actually a bad impersonation of James Acaster playing his genie character from a wonderful podcast called Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster.
Oh!
Shout out to them.
I'll have to check that out.
If anybody wants to listen, they get celebrities in and go over their dream full meal.
They'll ask them if they want I have as well, because all I do is drive around for work and kind of run it out.
They'll get into their dream like main course and drinks It's it's a it's a fun lesson and I've been consuming a lot
of podcast content recently because of my commute to a from work
I have as well because all I do is drive around for work and
Kind of run it out. I was I was hitting the end of the Internet
Yeah, I I have a not terrifyingly long commute But I can find ways to extend it so I can get more of my
bad football prediction podcasts slash political insight podcast in
So I know well of that life of just sort of like, I have XM radio, but I never listen to music because I'm just all podcasts all the time.
Yeah, how many of your bad football podcasts or whatever had the Kansas City Chiefs are going to start the Season 2 and 3 read?
I sent you guys that tweet that was like, as all Seattle fans had hoped, the Seahawks and the Chiefs have the same record after Week 5.
Super rough.
Oh man.
The Patriots of New England in their second restructuring season were expected to be laying a huge fart, but Patrick Mahomes is healthy, correct?
So what's going on there?
And he's putting up record numbers, like Fastest to ever many yards, just like, just putting up record numbers.
Yeah, currently, currently fucking got the record for most mediocre season with Mahomes as starting quarterback.
Oh!
Yeah, got me.
Hickory dickory dock, oh!
That's Azure Dice Clay reference for all of our audience.
I was about to call you out for a Dice Man reference.
Some of the people listening to this podcast have to be 35 or older.
You leave a ghoul in the past where he belongs.
He wasn't even funny in his prime.
Oh, I remember just, like, when I was a kid how, like, incredibly edgelord-tastic he was, and it was just like, wow!
This guy is talking about sex in really naughty ways!
He smoked his cigarette by reaching his hand around back behind his head like an idiot.
Yeah.
Hey, I mean, whatever gets you that small quantity of attention from the world.
Hey, do what you gotta do, Dice Man.
Boom, it's Muffet!
Something, something, sex joke!
Hey, I'm Dice Man!
Yeah, exactly, exactly!
So, before we get too deep into the Dice Man's catalog, let's play a content warning.
Content Warning.
The Adventures in Hellworld Podcast talks in-depth about QAnon, which means we have to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people.
Listener discretion advised.
Uh, so, uh, this is kind of like, uh, when I, when I kind of hit the cues in the news bumper, I kind of think about that being like headlines and stuff that people in the real world are really talking about, but like this week, uh, in the, in the lunatic sphere of QAnon, we've had, uh, the grifter wars beginning and just escalating in the most, uh, egregious way possible.
So there are no national news headlines, so you decided to give yourself some head?
Yes, exactly.
That'd be exactly what I did.
Oh!
Hey!
Dice man!
Well, hey!
So, listeners, I have to let you in on this.
Mike has created our recording room.
He gets to name them.
He named it Grifter Wars.
So this is, I'm selling you on what he sold us, the Grifter Wars.
Now, And then when I asked him for our headlines for the week, number one, with a bullet, he could not wait to get out there, Grifter Wars.
So, he's incredibly excited about the property.
Now, addendum, L takes our show notes, and in our show notes, it's Grifter Wars TM, but Grifter Wars is spelled with a Y and a Z. You can put those wherever you want.
Yes.
And this is why I do this podcast.
It's for things like this, and I love sharing it.
So the Grifter Wars is definitely the new Transformers property, right?
Who's our Optimus Prime?
Who's our Megatron?
Okay, so our main protagonist and our main villain in this theater of the Grifter Wars is Lin Wood battling Marjorie Taylor Greene.
Oh, wow.
All right.
You did not undersell this.
I did not expect these two shitheads to be going at each other.
Okay.
Yeah.
So basically, Lin Wood has decided that Marjorie Taylor Greene is insufficiently pushing for audits and the effort to fix the 2020 election.
So he's just like, Marjorie, you're a fake MAGA.
You ain't doing enough to do what we need to do because we can't have elections in 2022 or 2024 until we've exposed the fraud of 2020 and have reinstated Trump to the presidency.
And we did expose it.
Biden got more votes.
Yeah, that whole cyber dangers thing.
And Mike Lindell, who is a different theater of this whole thing, he came out complaining about fraudits.
Which were fake audits that didn't get the job done.
Because, I mean, that's how this operates.
When Cyber Ninjas doesn't get them the W, Cyber Ninjas is now part of the plot.
That's how this always worked.
That was always Cyber Ninja's fate, as they ran away with a sack full of money.
They were always going to be called Deep State if they didn't do anything.
But the main two combatants, again, were Lin Wood and Marjorie Taylor Greene.
So Lynn's calling her all these horrible names and now Marjorie is trying to show that she is like super pro-audit
and she's got like, here's all these tweets I got about audits and um, there was a lawsuit, uh,
it was like a Kraken-esque bullshit lawsuit that got filed in Georgia that was rejected like three weeks ago.
But just in order to prove that she's like totally on the ball here, cause she's from Georgia and all that good stuff,
she is like, why did this court like reject this audit lawsuit? What's going on here?
They rejected it on standing? I don't know what that means, but it sounds suspicious to me.
Isn't she a lawyer?
I don't think she is. She's a businesswoman. That was her schtick getting into politics was that, uh,
She ran a successful construction business.
She was making all this money.
Now she's turning her attention towards improving America vis-a-vis her, like, rock-solid business acumen and her love of country and hatred of socialism.
And to crossfit her rocking hard abs.
Yes!
Oh yes, or... Wait, if the MTG was deep into CrossFit for a while, that was her thing?
Oh!
Oh yeah, she was doing those horrible, weird, kipping pull-ups that, like, every non-CrossFitter just goes, oh my god!
Gaggles.
Gaggles.
Yeah, everyone's like, oh god, you're going to blow your back out doing that.
That's so weird.
Don't do those motions with your body.
They're painful and hurdy.
And so yeah, Marjorie is literally dredging up a three-week-old article about a lawsuit and claiming that this is proof that the deep state is trying to put the fix in in Georgia and it's not cool.
Yeah, we gotta do something to fix this, and I've been a fighter, tireless and true.
And basically, Lin Wood and her have been going at it, and one of our favorite boys in this whole theater of the stupid, Jordan Sather, He decided to come in hard on Team Marjorie's side, so Lin Wood finally walked over to the break glass in case of emergency sign and smashed that glass with a hammer and pulled out that fire extinguisher that says, you're a pedophile, and then he sprayed Jordan Sather with it.
So we actually did it.
We actually had a QAnon promoter call another QAnon promoter a pedophile.
So Linwood went there.
He went the whole nine yards and said, By the way, Jordan Sather, I don't really know who you are, and I don't trust you.
You're probably a pederast.
And that, of course, sent our beautiful bleach-drinking baby boy through the roof.
And he is now just like, Linwood, you support all these JFK coins selling shills that just take good, honest QAnon people's money, and it's bullshit that you're doing this, and you're the fake MAGA, and... Not me, you!
I'm not a pedophile, you're a pedophile!
Yup!
It's that.
It's this unbelievable, childish bullshit.
It's the Salem Witch Trials where it's just, I'm not a witch, you're a witch!
And it's so good.
It's so funny that they're just tearing each other apart.
And the problem for all of them is that none of them are ever going to be able to produce results on this.
None of them are going to be able to overturn the 2020 election.
Biden won.
Biden is the president.
Anyone who claims otherwise is lying.
And eventually the other people... They're trying to sell you something.
Oh yeah, but that's the thing is that like that lie or that bullshit you're trying to sell the person is eventually going to get exposed.
Like you are at some point not going to be able to remove Biden from office and reinstall Trump into office and people are going to be like, Hey, Person that was talking a big game about getting the selection overturned.
Why haven't you done that yet?
And especially if you're Marjorie Taylor Greene or someone who's in elected office, you're supposed to have power.
You're supposed to be able to shape the system.
That's why we elected you.
And now you're stuck being like, hey, I don't know what standing is.
Me, frozen caveman lawyer, your legal terms are frightening to me.
So yeah, it's really interesting.
I'm like, medium pissed off that I can't think of a good pun name for Starscream and Jordan Sather.
Because, you know, like, I was exhausted last week on the show, so I feel like I kind of phoned it in, so I want to bring the hot heat this week.
And, you know, Sarge already mentioned the Transformers thing or whatever, so we're getting into it, and I was just like, well, Lin Wood, he's obviously Frodomous Prime, right?
Who's Faradomus Prime's greatest enemy than MTG playing MAGATRON?
I mean, come on!
You were right.
She did start a CrossFit gym and ran that for several years.
I've seen the videos because I... You know what?
It's 2021.
I don't feel like I have to be ashamed saying that sometimes I'm physically attracted to Marjorie Taylor Greene.
She's abhorrent, but she's got, like, that sort of proper fit mom bod that, like, a now-in-his-mid-thirties Elle really appreciates.
I don't know.
I don't want to date her.
Yeah, if Marjorie Taylor Greene had Janet Oh's voice, would she be the perfect, just absolutely revolting person that you wanted to have a date with?
Oh, that would be the nut.
And I would be the nut, as I produce orgasm.
You know how in video games, where there's a social system, and you have points, and if you fuck up, it goes boom, and the social links goes down a star?
That's what just happened to me right here.
Dog, whatever.
I'm going to tank it for some sort of like, you know, weird men maxing.
Like I'm going to game the system by tanking it even further.
I think Lauren Bobert's attractive too.
I kind of want to be in a hot tub with the both of them.
Just, no, you can't talk about anything.
Yeah, we don't need to talk.
We don't need to talk about, you know, we could talk about the silver bullet.
We could be like, man, Coors is great, ain't it?
Even though like that would be a lie on my part.
But what the fuck else are we going to talk about?
Sadly, Bobert hasn't gotten involved in all of this.
This has been a Marjorie-dealing-with-the-cranks-on-the-internet sort of festival.
In a perfect world, she gets really into yoga and starts posting videos.
Yes!
I wonder if she's one of the people that looks at yoga and thinks to herself that it's some sort of evil plot to destroy Christianity and to stealth Hinduism and other kinds of spirituality.
Yoga is an idiot psy-op.
Yes!
Oh yeah!
Because I can I you get those people every so often you get that group of people who are just like yoga is evil and bad because it does an evil bad thing.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, that's absolutely a subsect of like some forms of like fundamentalist Christianity that like Stretching?
Formalized stretching is bad and evil?
Yes, because, uh... You want to know what they think about Tai Chi, man.
Oh, yeah.
You're summoning some terrible stuff here.
But yeah, they have all this mentality about how you are consorting with devils and evil spirits, unclean spirits, non-Christian things that are swirling around you.
And by meditating and by trying to clear your mind and embracing these non-Christian tenets of mental health, you're literally letting evil spirits into your body.
You're corrupting yourself.
You're poisoning yourself.
By ocean breathing?
Yep, all of it.
It's this incredibly narrow worldview that a lot of these people really subscribe to and they love it.
And again, that leads to all kinds of arguments when you get into the new age QAnon people who are just like, I meditate and do yoga all the time and it's fine, bros.
And then you get the hardcore Christian fundamentalists folks who are just sort of like, Jesus in prayer is the only time you can clear your head.
If you're not thinking about anything you better be thinking about the Lord or you're in a world of trouble.
So I mean it's just it's just it's so bizarre but like that's the That's the places we're going, and this is the digressions we take here when we start talking about all these weird clowns and their sexy CrossFit natures.
But beyond the straight-up battle between Marjorie and Lynn, which has now led to people being in rival camps and Folks like Jordan say they're picking sides.
You then have Ron Watkins and his quixotic attempt to monetize quote-unquote being Q as a thing that he wants to try to be more big boy about.
And when last we left, old Ron, He was trying to get Arizona to certify the election and he was going up to the Attorney General of Arizona and being like, hey, I want to have a meeting with you and blah, blah, blah.
And he didn't get that meeting because he doesn't live in Arizona and he's not even really in an American national.
He lives in Japan and all that good stuff.
Oh, is he an expat now?
Uh, yeah, he's he he is I don't even know if he's an American citizen. I mean, he's I know he's a
lives in Japan most of his most of his year, but um he
Uh posted on his telegram. Uh, this really incredibly boilerplate, uh piece of the document from uh,
the Arizona attorney general's office that was just like as the Arizona attorney general I asked that uh,
the people that i'm talking to Uh, don't delete nothing. So basically
um This piece of paper was like, request for information related to voter registration list maintenance.
And it was like, dear Ms.
Dole, as you are aware, the Senate has completed significant portions of its forensic audit and has provided reports to the Arizona Attorney General's Office, which are being reviewed by the Election Integrity Unit, or EIU.
And I want you to make sure that you retain one, any and all data files, blah, blah, blah.
And it's just literally the most incredibly boilerplate, hey, we're going to be snooping
around, so don't you be throwing anything into a chipper.
Yeah, listening to you just read that statement, it was so boring I thought I was going to
die.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Also, where does Ron Watkins think he gets his power from?
He has no authority over anyone.
Also, before we answer that question, I have important breaking news.
I couldn't get there on Soundwave, so I gave up.
So I called up a list of Decepticons, and I got there.
DevaSather.
Ah, it's good.
Do five other smaller Jordan Sathers combine to make DevaSather?
Yeah, five other crappier grifters come together to form DevaSather.
I'm good with this.
This is very acceptable.
We will have people working in Photoshop to actually make all of these characters.
Make sure you leave in the wrecking ball testicles.
Those were a big feature of Devastator.
Yes.
Is that comic book or cartoon canonical or is that just the Michael Bay flick?
That's just the Michael Bay.
Anything awful and like vaguely racist is the Michael Bay movies.
And it had peepees on that guy, get it?
Because peepee's funny.
And those two, those two cars are, like, really offensive.
Yeah, well, because they killed the really offensive one from the first movie, Jazz.
Yeah!
Um, Jazz rips in half.
Okay.
I'm the Transformer called Jazz, and then, like, the audience are just like, please don't have a black guy's voice.
Please don't have it.
Aw, beans!
He did it!
I would adjust to being completely unrecognizable, just regular American accent, or maybe just posh British accent.
So it's just like, you just could not infer a race from it, but no, Michael Bay has no subtlety in his body.
He knows how to code a robot.
Yes.
See, those words that you said, Mike, they were just so boring that I started talking about Transformers again.
And much deserved.
And this is the, in my incredibly boring letter that I read to you that forced us into a Transformers segue,
this is what QAnon is trying to get themselves excited about.
Like, Brnovich is doing it! He's begun his investigation into the audit and the steal in Arizona.
And it's like, you do understand the words you're saying, where you literally have just stated
that you are now happy that the Attorney General is beginning an investigation.
That's all he's done.
And he hasn't even begun an investigation.
Literally all he said was, you know, the people who have these files, keep them on record.
I might want to look at them.
Might want to look at them.
That's all I care about.
I looked it up.
He does indeed live in Japan.
He hasn't lived in America in, like, forever.
And, like, I don't know how he- if he does still have American citizenship.
I can imagine he'll be coming to America anytime soon, because Japan, like, with COVID, Japan is- might not let him back in?
If he comes to America, it's baffling.
That's one of the things that makes me laugh the most about Ron Watkins is the fact that he and all these other people, and I mean most of them are from America, although again Martin Geddes is British, so you have people like Geddes, like Ron, who live in these countries with ridiculously strict gun control.
You cannot get a fucking gun in Japan or Britain unless you jump through every hoop that is imaginable.
And those hoops are designed to prevent you.
You might not be able to make it through those hoops.
They might say, no, you don't get a gun.
And yet these people will be posting from their safe, secure, nice, first world houses in Britain and Japan Look, Australia doesn't have any guns, and now they've fallen to tyranny.
This is what happens when you don't have guns like America, you're totally fucked.
The world just ends, and it's like, do you live in America?
No, you don't!
You live in Japan!
There's like three gun deaths a year in Japan, because nobody has a fucking gun!
So, in Japan, to get a gun, you have to Take a mental health examination.
You have to take and pass a class.
Then you have to register with your local police station and let them know what kind of gun of the ones you're allowed to buy you have.
Then you have to store the gun and the ammunition separately.
And then every year you have to re-register on all of this.
And most of what you can have are hunting rifles and shotguns.
And like I said, the police have to know exactly what you have, because if they find a shotgun pellets and not a duck, they're coming for you.
It's, and most, most of the cops in Japan don't have guns because they don't need them.
Yeah, I have feelings about America's gun laws and how other countries are doing it better.
Specifically the mental health examination that Japan requires you to get and re-up every couple years.
Right.
It just goes to show you what unbelievable hypocrites these people are and how they just believe in this mythology of the gun.
Because the gun ain't protecting them and their actual home nations, but apparently America's just sea of firearms is all that's keeping humanity from being enslaved by the cabal.
And it's just so unbelievably childish.
It's ridiculous.
The gun is good, and the penis is evil.
Yes!
Yes!
The gun is good.
Oh man.
Oh man, we're going Zardoz.
I love it.
Zardoz!
Zardoz!
So we had those fights, and so now also Ron, when he's not flailing desperately to try to get the Arizona Attorney General to not do anything, He has now actually been doing meet and greets with Carrie Lake, actual crazy woman who is running for the governorship of Arizona.
And Arizona is now becoming a sort of like testing ground for QAnon political leaders.
Because you have that honey badger guy who's running for attorney general with Trump's endorsement.
And you have Carrie Lake running for governor.
Of the state.
And I don't know if these people know this, but, or I think they know on one level, but they refuse to accept it.
Biden won this state, so maybe running as the QAnon lunatic... Nuh-uh.
Nuh-uh.
Yeah.
Nuh-uh.
That is the, that is what's happening.
That's what's been happening on a national level for months now.
Yeah, I just verified this.
Carrie Lake has been endorsed by Trump also in the governor's race of Arizona.
So you have a woman who's literally doing grip and grins with Ron Watkins and has promoted every crazy 1-6 conspiracy theory out there.
She's Pretty much QAnon.
She's a QAnon-promoting candidate running for statewide office in Arizona, and the former president has backed her and the nutjob guy who was about to certify Arizona and all this other stuff for Attorney General.
So we are dealing with just openly fascist people running for statewide office in Arizona, and they're hanging out with Ron Watkins.
So this is...
Yeah, that can only be used as a punching bag against them.
They have to think that appearing with Ron is strong enough to get the votes they need, because otherwise it's just like, here they are shaking hands with Q. I mean, it's like when Hillary brought up that Trump was hanging out with Alex Jones during the election.
It's the same thing.
It's just going to be used against them.
And they think it's good for the primary.
They honestly think that, like, this is what will set me apart from the just standard Republicans who are talking about socialism bad, gun good, secure the border, all that kind of stuff.
It's like when you're a drug addict and you need now more and more of the drug to get the high.
You build up a tolerance to regular MAGA talking points, so now you've got to go full-blown QAnon to get the crowd to cheer for you.
I mean, it's not enough to be like, they're trafficking evil people across the border!
People are like, yeah, we know.
They're like, they're trafficking children across the border to drain their blood for their superhuman drugs!
It's like, oh shit!
Now I gotta vote for you to stop the child blood draining child trafficking.
Well, the good news is very rarely do we hear about any horrible liberals ever actually illegally trafficking children across borders.
QAnon, on the other hand, they're in the news this week for doing exactly that sort of thing.
Yes, I think.
Literally exactly that.
In everyone's favorite country, France.
El brought this story to our attention.
It got by both me and Mike.
So let's play that bump.
From the digital headlines to the digital front lines, it's Q's in the News!
Wait a minute, Jesus Christ, we never even played the fuckin' News Bump for all that Grifter Wars shit?
No, I was explaining that the Grifter Wars really weren't headlines, they didn't make it into newspapers or anything, so I was like... Oh, I guess that's true, I'm like looking at our recording, I'm like, 30 minutes in, News Bump, what the fuck?
Get wrecked!
New sucks!
Youth culture forever!
Yes!
Transphobic references!
So yeah, we had a woman who lost custody of her daughter to her mother because the woman, Lola Manjimagi, I am terrible with names so I'm the worst, but she was found by the French courts to be quote-unquote mentally unstable so they were like well uh you're gonna have to get some treatment here we're gonna have her have the child's grandmother take care of her and uh Lula who from the reading of this article seems to be a lot into like what is what we would call in America sovereign citizen kind of stuff where the government's illegitimate
Their laws don't apply to me, because they're not the real laws.
I don't exactly know what French sovereign citizenship would look like,
because our sovereign citizenship involves all sorts of weird bullshit
involving our Constitution being edited and whatnot.
A lot of getting tased.
Yes.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Arguing with cops about how you don't need a driver's license because the right to travel is in the First Amendment and they're not driving, they're traveling.
All that good stuff.
But yeah, she...
Lula decided that she was going to stage a kidnapping plot to abduct the child from the child's grandmother's home and bring her back home to herself and then probably try to escape across the French border to some other nation so she could, you know, do a little child trafficking with the child that she did not have legal custody of.
Uh-oh.
Yeah, and this is again, her mindset about this was the government took her child away from her to do bad things.
Her child was going to be given to her grandmother who was going to put her on the black market and then the next thing you know the child is gone and being harvested for adrenochrome and all that horse shit.
Yeah, I love how in order to believe that your snap response to the government giving custody of your daughter to your mother is, but my mother's a pedophile!
Or, but my mother's gonna sell her organs!
And it's just like, have you ever complained in the past about your mother being, like, either of those sort of dangers before?
Like, is there something about your mother we need to know?
Like, that's actionable?
Do you have a restraining order against your mother for your children?
Like, anything that would allow that to be possible?
No, no, yeah.
Yeah, it's just so... That's the thing that makes QAnon so vile, is that everyone is in on it.
And that's what makes these people go from merely being angry and quote-unquote skeptical of the world, to being paranoid and then unstable about things.
Because After a while, when your spouse or your kids or your parents don't believe what you're telling them, at some point you think to yourself, why don't they believe it?
Maybe they're in on it too.
Maybe they won't believe because they can't believe because they're a part of it.
I've said this a bunch of times about QAnon.
The worst part of this thing is not that it makes you hate Joe Biden and Kamala Harris and Adam Schiff and Nancy Pelosi.
It's like, fucking whatever.
They're politicians.
They're public figures.
The worst part about QAnon is that it makes you hate your family and friends after a while.
And the level you hate them at is either they don't believe the truth and that's bad because we need more people to believe the truth.
I mean, that is the conspiracy theorist's mind.
You can't directly confront them.
They're also draining children's blood for their evil drugs.
I mean, that is the conspiracy theorist mind.
You can't directly confront them.
That would just upset them and make them like oppose you harder.
Uh, yeah, it's, it's so insidious and awful.
And anyone that's even like remotely conspiracy minded.
Yeah, when people come against them.
Oh, they're in on it.
And it's it's the satanic panic.
It's QAnon.
They're all The same thing just different.
If I ever want to get famous as a podcaster, boy, howdy, I need to stop.
I need to start talking about how sorry I feel for these people instead of how much I hate them.
It's such a it's so unfortunate.
And I really wish that they would like see the light and come back to the side of blah, blah, blah, because I would like to make money doing podcasting.
So I can't just visibly be like, you know, or I guess audibly just be like, fuck these people and their stupid stuff.
So in the spirit of that, you guys are going to get a friendlier, nicer, more diplomatic Elle, because Elle wants to sell out.
You can't spell sell without two Elles.
I was thinking about that when we were recording Binge-Wordy, too.
I was just like, man, I need to stop talking about how bad Zooey Deschanel is at acting and her big, dumb, wet eyes.
I need to start talking about how she's fine at acting and how her eyes are reasonably shaped and reasonable dampness
Everyone is just so diplomatic all the time And I'm like, fuck, do you really have to be diplomatic to make money?
I just want to be angry.
See, I've been listening to Let's Fight a Boss.
And yeah, they're, they're pretty diplomatic, especially when they're talking about like movies they didn't like.
Well, Not about games they don't like.
John is very, very up forward about not liking Yakuza 7.
The problem is, the only way to make money being angry if you have a platform is to be conservative!
Conservatives eat that shit up!
But I'm not!
I'm liberal, and all the liberals I want to listen to my stuff, all the liberals I want to make up my echo chamber, they're not going to tolerate me giving them the hard facts about, yo, Zooey Deschanel should not have a career in acting.
She's bad at it.
I mean... They're gonna be like, who are you to judge?
And I'm like, the consumer, motherfucker!
Like, I'm the prime candidate for judging such a thing!
I... man...
I don't think Paul Walker should have had a career.
He was not a good actor.
I don't have much opinion on any actors, but I will say that that is one of the things that is really kind of interesting in any QAnon debunker researcher community, and QAnon casualties has this happen a lot, where you'll have people talking about the family member or whoever it was who went off the deep end, and there is an incredible amount of anger at those people from the people that have lost them to the conspiracy theory.
And that meta-topic of tolerance versus anger is just something that is always there because it's really hard to have understanding and tolerance for people that are caught up in this shit when it makes them malignant terrible people who are propagating it and so
My mindset on that on the whole thing about tolerance is only do it if you have the mental fortitude and your mental health is good enough that you can reach the hand out to that person and say, Hey, man, when you like finally have some doubts about QAnon and you finally have reached your breaking point, I'm here for you, bro.
We will go to the diner.
We'll get a couple comments, we'll talk about it, we'll try to see how you've come back to your senses.
But if you're just furious, if you're just furious about the fact that the father of your children has gone off the loony bin, or your parents are nuts, just cut him out of your life!
Just be like, nope, fuck it, can't deal with you, you're gone, I'm done.
And that's fine.
Do what you need to do for yourself.
It's not on you to bring the QAnon believer back to the reality world.
Like, fuck that shit.
It's just, if that's unhealthy for you, never in a million years should you do it.
No way, man.
Unlimited amount of tolerance.
Tolerant.
New Elle loves tolerance.
Take your adult gloves off, put your kid gloves on, and then put on kid mittens on top of those gloves and start weekly petting the people you dislike.
You're just like, yes.
You are a racist, and a misogynist, and an anti-Semite, and you're trying to destroy our democracy.
But, you know, we can still get a beer.
Like, we can go have pizza together.
It's fine.
Like, that is the new Elway.
That's because you want to hook up with MTG.
Yes!
Uh, I mean, like, I'm not going to use my platform to say something as bold as I want to hook up with her.
I would say that I'd like to, again, like, I want to sit in a hot tub with her in Bober.
Let's tub it up.
Totally platonic hot tub action.
Yes.
Because again, as part of the selling out process, I don't think I could use my platform to talk about, to be so cavalier about talking about sex.
Oh, heaven forbid.
All I could think of was when Elle was talking about the mittens, was the fact that now baseball players wear mittens when they're running the bases, and it just makes me laugh so much after they jog to first base, someone hands them an oven mitt to put on their hand.
Is that really, honestly, a thing?
Yes, it's honestly a thing.
It's so weird.
I guess it's so they don't jam their dainty little fingers if they're sliding towards the base.
Alright, we found the lane where old El can continue to thrive, and that's hating baseball.
If you like baseball, fuck you!
Fuck baseball and fuck you too!
Baseball is the worst!
Are you kidding me?
Those people are already barely athletes and now they have to wear mittens to run bases?
Yes!
It's so great!
I love the oven mitts, they're so hilarious!
The oven mitt, called unsurprisingly a sliding mitt, is a clever combination of two pieces of safety equipment.
Ah, so clever!
It's the most clever thing ever.
True pro sliding mitt.
They invented a thing that's already existed for hundreds of years, an oven mitt.
Yes!
Yeah, true pro sliding mitt.
I'm looking at it on Amazon.
It's gotta be pro.
I guess it's so if your foot gets stomped on?
Yeah, shucks.
It would be a real shame if somebody may accidentally step on your delicate fingies playing this sport.
It would be a real bummer if occasionally during this sport there was a little bit of danger.
Like, we've already gotten rid of all the danger in every other sport, right?
Like, no danger of you getting injured playing football, or football, or anything else, right?
No danger of wrestlers going crazy, murdering their whole families.
None.
None of that.
Why don't we just take the base running out and just give them credit for their bases based on how good they hit the ball?
It's like, that ball seems like a two base.
You get two bases.
No need to go there.
Just go back to the dugout and chew your gum or whatever.
Yes!
Baseball's dumb.
Baseball's dumb and there are enough sports out there that you don't have to settle for worse.
Do you remember that time we went and got Indian food for your birthday and they had cricket on and we spent most of the time eating delicious Indian food trying to figure out how the- we're like, surely from context we can figure out how cricket is played and or scored and the whole- It genuinely reminded me of that episode of Futurama where Fry is trying to understand Blurrn's Ball.
I am a person who is obsessed with understanding how sports work.
It took me forever to grasp cricket.
Like, really, honestly, forever.
So, like, I can completely understand how anyone looking at the game would just be completely lost.
It's...
It's not confusing to me now that I learned it, but Jesus Christ, that was the hardest struggle I've ever had.
Silly things like darts and curling, I picked up way faster.
I was just able to, oh yeah, that makes sense, I got it.
But for some reason, cricket just melted my brain.
I was just like the Nazi staring into the Ark of the Covenant when I was looking at the rules of cricket.
I just couldn't get it.
I just couldn't grasp how it worked.
Mike Rains with the bold self-ode of comparing himself to a Nazi in a metaphor.
Yes.
I mean, hey, Mike Rains has always compared himself to a Nazi in many ways, and it's up to the listener to decipher whether or not they're the good ones.
You know, are you comparing yourself to the positive ways the Nazis were?
Like how they were well-dressed?
Oh, some thin ice we're on!
Yeah, well luckily or unluckily in my case, that thin ice has trampled all over my segway, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to go for it again.
You have to be a sick person to like baseball!
And speaking of sick people, I hear allegedly a bunch of Southwest pilots are sick!
Yes!
It would have been more organic if I didn't get trampled on by Sarge, but that's just gonna happen sometimes if you're recording a podcast via the internet.
Yeah, I saw my joke.
I had to go for it.
Yeah, I was looking at this on CNN and Southwest is just like, we don't think this is happening.
Yeah, so Southwest has made a statement that like a bunch of flights have been canceled recently, and they have blamed weather and other problems, logistical issues, like planes aren't in the right spot to do this flight here to there, and blah blah blah.
And While Southwest is giving us the happy talk of, like, everything's fine and we'll be back up and running in no time at all, don't you worry about a thing, QAnon and right-wing agitators are claiming that Southwest Airlines is in the grips of being paralyzed by brave patriots refusing the COVID vaccine and the FDA-mandated
A shot that all the pilots have to take.
And now we're finally seeing the beginning of the corporate machine being torn down by these brave pilots refusing to fly.
Southwest will be the first domino to fall in this vaccine-mandated capitalist tyranny.
Hey, remember at the start of the vaccination process where that handful of people got blood clots out of like the hundreds of millions that were getting the vaccine?
no one's had any problems with it. But don't let that get in the way of our narrative. Let's just
keep screaming and yelling. Hey, remember at the start of the vaccination process where that handful
of people got blood clots out of like the hundreds of millions that were getting the vaccine?
Yeah. Why don't you be more empathetic towards those people, Mike?
Wasn't it maybe seven out of...
Yeah, Johnson & Johnson had like eight million shots, and like seven people got blood clots, and I think three people died from blood clots from the Johnson & Johnson vaccine, which is the total number of confirmed fatalities we've had vis-a-vis the vaccine.
And basically what we learned after they- and the FDA immediately paused the Johnson & Johnson vaccine for like two weeks while they went over it, And then they figured out, oh, the reason why these blood clots are weird is because the standard blood clot medication doesn't treat these blood clots, but this medication does.
So now, if that weird side effect, which again, basically one in a million people got, like, if that weird side effect were to hit you, we have the treatment for it.
We have the answer to the problem.
So, uh, yeah, um, To all those people, I unfortunately will not sell out like Elle and have an incredible amount of sympathy for them.
I feel bad that they were the ones that won the reverse lottery and had those side effects occur, but...
Yeah, we've vaccinated like half of America and that doesn't even include all the kids who can't get vaccinated because we're still dragging our feet on approval for children under the age of 12 getting vaccines.
They're not dragging their feet, correction.
They are following the actual mandated time that they have to.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Fuck the FDA.
If Trump was president, he would have railroaded that shit through immediately and been screaming it about everyone to get the shot.
And QAnon would have been absolutely melting their brains trying to decode what he really means when he says, everyone take the vaccine, it's great and it's safe and effective.
He would have just been like...
They'd be like, no, he doesn't really mean that!
What he's trying to say is... And then a bunch of QAnon would have just absolutely have left, because they'd be like, nope, fuck it, Trump's cabal, he did it, he sold us out.
Like, that's like the one silver lining that QAnon got out of Biden winning, is that he's the face of the vaccine movement now, so they can hate him and the vaccines equally.
And whenever Trump like happens to show up for a rally and like slurs incoherently about how the vaccine's great, They can just be like, yeah, he didn't say that.
We didn't hear it.
We don't know what you're talking about.
No one said nothing.
But Steve Bannon, who is one of the great... He's been like screaming about this Southwest protest.
There's a photo of some clown pilot who's obviously gunning for a gig on Fox News who Threw a Gadsden flag out the window of his cockpit.
And if you don't know what the Gadsden flag is, it's the snake flag with the don't tread on me on the bottom of it.
And the Tea Party used that flag all the time.
And now QAnon and other right wing groups love to use that flag to be like, this is a sign of how we're fighting against the tyranny and you won't tread on us.
Now it's the all black American flag.
I actually saw an article about that the other day.
It's really gaining traction.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
The no quarter black flag.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just like literally stealing the black flag from pirates from like antiquity, as it were, like, I'm Blackbeard with my American black flag.
Yet another thing I think is cool that racists have stolen the Gadstone flag, this all black American flag.
I was like, man, those look rad.
I like those.
Oh, I can't like.
Everyone will just think I'm a white supremacist.
If you're a patriot, aren't you supposed to not fuck with the American flag?
Isn't it sort of like your duty to just think that it's perfect the way it is?
It is one of the rules.
Yeah, it's so weird that in the waning weeks of the campaign, Trump had a rally where he actually used the thin blue line flag instead of an American flag as the backdrop of his speech.
I mean, he was just like, you know what?
As great as the American flag is, I'm editing it.
To make a slightly different flag and it's just like, isn't that supposed to be totally unacceptable?
I mean, isn't like any modification to the American flag like the ultimate desecration of our country and you're now a monster who hates our country as a result?
I remember Dum Dums, back when Obama was running for president, were saying that like, they were like, hey look, Obama's got his own American flag with a big O in it and stuff, and it was like, that's actually the state flag of Ohio, you idiots.
He's in Ohio, and that's the flag they're using.
And it's just, it was just like so bizarre that they did this thing.
Oh my God, I'm looking at this flag now and I think it's an actual combination of the thin blue line and the all black flag.
I think that's like the flag that Trump was in front of is just literally a mix of those two things.
Was it all black without that blue line?
Yeah, it's like, this is no quarter and also we love the cops.
No, it's no quarter for the cops.
The cops will give no quarter.
We now want a police state where the cops can just go at you any way they want.
Yeah, I just sent you guys the photo of that weird flag that Trump had at his rallies.
Again, if it's yeah, it's it's monochrome, the less so the it's not all blacks got black and white.
Still got the white stripes.
Okay.
Oh, thank God.
So the cops are allowed to merely arrest you.
They don't have to execute you on site.
The cops are allowed to show you a quarter.
So I love that we're having to do live reading of decoding flags on the podcast now to discern.
This is flag talk our podcast within a podcast.
Yes, exactly.
Oh boy.
So yeah, so the right wing, and I've seen QAnon promoters being like, oh, if you think the media wouldn't cover up the fact that Southwest pilots are calling out sick to protest these vaccines, I guess you would think the media also wouldn't cover up the stolen election.
So everything gets rolled into the ultimate conspiracy.
Everything is a part of the giant plot to screw Trump out of the White House.
And my answer to that is just, wouldn't Q have done something about that in the four years Trump was in power to get rid of that evil media so that he could win a free and fair election?
Like, what were they doing?
Q was too busy being in Japan cuddling with his Rei Ayanami doll.
Life size.
Yes.
Man, that is just always going to be the easiest dunk ever.
Oh, I mean, he is that person.
He is that anime-obsessed dork, and that's all he'll ever be.
And he just happened to, like, strike lucky with this community vis-a-vis posting bullshit on the internet as like, I'm a secret insider with secret intelligence and Trump's gonna save the world!
It really goes to show you how desperate people are to have their confirmation bias proven right.
They're so desperate for confirmation bias that they're like, I like Trump and I hope he's doing good.
And then someone on the internet is like, Donald Trump is a superhero sent by God to save the world.
And they're just like, yes!
I knew it!
I knew it!
Oh, thank God!
Thank you, God, for Trump!
Donald Trump is a superhero sent by God to post strange videos about Ashley Babbitt to the internet.
Yes!
I don't know if you good folks listening to Ye Olde Podcast have seen this, but Trump posted like a 40 to 45 second long video about Ashley Babbitt and the family's quote-unquote, like, pursuit of justice.
And...
If you didn't see this video, just look for it on the internet.
It's everywhere.
You'll find it.
I watched it.
Yeah.
You sent it to us.
I think we both watched it.
Yeah, Trump is rough in this video.
I mean, like, Trump sounds like he literally got woken up after two hours of sleep, just like they slabbed on his orange makeup.
And then he was like, he was like Marlon Brando at the end of his career being like, make sure those cue cards are huge.
I'm not gonna remember any of my lines.
And he is... Sorry, go ahead.
No, and he's just like, Ashley Brabbit deserves justice and we need a full investigation into what happened.
It's like, Don, we know what happened.
She was literally jumping through a window that other goons had broken down.
And she was jumping through that window so that she could get to the door and open that door so that hundreds of rioters could then enter into the actual, like, center of the Capitol and begin attacking elected officials.
The folks that were yelling, hang Mike Pence.
Like, that door was pretty much all that was standing between, like, People being murdered and people not being murdered.
And Ashley Babbitt was trying to open that door.
So a cop who had told people, don't break down that window, don't jump through that window, shot someone jumping through that window.
That's what happened.
Important detail here, in case you didn't miss the context, this all happened in the Capitol building that she illegally invaded.
So that's where why she got shot.
I'm sure you all everyone listening knows that but that's an important piece of context here.
She broke into the fucking Capitol building while Congress was in session and tried to break into the chambers of Congress.
We don't know.
And yes, was Dooley Ward.
I'm assuming that when she got there, she was going to demand to speak to Congress's manager.
Yes!
I mean, in her defense, Wink, she wasn't like zip-tie guy who was wearing the all-black tactical suit and had the zip-ties ready to go.
I mean, she didn't look like literal active terrorist, but she was arm-in-arm with people like that, and she was about to help those people commit a further breach into the building, When she was legally in a clean shoot shot by law
enforcement and then yeah Just like Jesus Christ. She took all of the potential
murder onto herself She was like no
I will be the only one to get murdered in the Congress this day while in pursuit of several different crimes
I'm sure she died saying but I'm white and just Yeah
You know, it's it's a crying shame It's a real shame that she's dead.
It's a bummer.
Did you put on your sliding mitt for this one?
Yeah, I'm sure that there are a lot of people that she was very close to that miss her deeply.
And they should have loved her enough to ask her to not invade the Capitol.
Yeah. I have no opinion about that, sir. Money, please! I took my sliding mitts off.
Yeah, we're just waiting any moment for our Blue Apron sponsorship to roll through.
It's coming.
It's coming.
Oh, God.
I'm emailing Ray J right now so we can get that sweet, sweet Raycon money.
Oh, God.
So, yeah.
Anytime you ever hear any QAnon promoter scream about Joe Biden having dementia or the fact that he's a little rough around the edges and not looking too good for Pop Pop the President, know that it is 117% projection and that Their orange god is probably not going to be too ripe in 2024 when he's running to get back his stolen presidency.
I watched that video.
I didn't think he seemed as addled.
He just seemed like he didn't want to be there and he was reading cue cards to me.
I believe what you meant to say was he didn't seem any more or less addled than normal.
No, he didn't seem more addled than he did the last couple of months.
He just seemed regular Trump, amount of addled, boardly reading, whatever they put in front of him.
I mean, he just released another one of those letters from the digital office of Donald J. Trump where he's just like, even the rhinos know that there are 283 ballots that were sent out illegally in Detroit.
And it's like, no.
Nobody knows that.
Because it's probably not true.
I feel like if there was an overwhelming amount of evidence to support claims like that, then you wouldn't look like such a buffoon.
For just constantly being like the election was stolen, but what do I know?
Yeah.
I mean, maybe he's got the secret cyber ninjas hookup for info that I don't
Yeah, oh my god
Yeah, yeah, it's That letter that you just talked about it's like so like
weirdly it's like it's like a transcription of someone who's just really mad
It's just like, everyone knows Detroit is really corrupt and bad and awful and I hate Detroit, but also the good people of Detroit voted for me overwhelmingly and the only reason I lost Detroit was because of fraud.
I mean, it's just...
It's just that split personality of QAnon where there are this persecuted minority who everyone hates, and the normies are dummies.
The normies who make up the majority of America are just dum-dums.
But at the same time, Donald Trump is the most beloved political figure America has ever seen, and everyone votes for him overwhelmingly, and the only reason why he loses is because the bad guys cheat.
And it's like, if your boy Donald Trump is so popular, why are you so hated?
Explain that to me.
Like, when you're like, oh, I love Trump, why doesn't everyone just go, yeah, me too.
We all love Trump.
Everyone loves Trump.
We're all one big happy family.
The QAnon people would probably, like, just freak out if that actually happened to them.
If they actually loved someone that was infinitely popular, and that popularity, like, carried over to them, and they became cool for liking the cool guy.
It would melt them.
They wouldn't know what to do with themselves, because they're all about being contrarian edgelords.
And being smarter than everybody else.
They would be like, I liked Trump before it was cool, man!
Now Trump's a sellout!
Hey, they know things that you don't know, and that makes them special.
And what is more powerful than feeling special?
Clearly not much, given the lengths that QAnon has continued to exist over the past few years.
That warm feeling of specialness is like an oven mitt you slide on your hand after you get a base hit.
It's just so warm and soft.
It's lovely.
We're never going to let that mitt go.
No, it's so dumb.
The first time I saw that it happened, I was like, what?
He's wearing an oven mitt?
Why is he?
Oh my God.
It broke my brain.
I'll just never get over oven mitts for baseball players.
It's the saddest thing I've ever seen.
Speaking of incredibly sad things, I forgot to post the Mailbag thread yesterday, but the rush for Mailbag did arrive before the podcast and we did get some questions.
Our listeners got questions, we got answers.
It's time for Q&A.
So SnorlaxCPap says, with the server room battle in Germany, have we seen Gina Haspel since then?
Is she on a beach in Mexico or is she a Gitmo robot now?
Is she the one that started spreading that whole story?
Yeah, what and also who?
So the server battle in Germany is this hilarious nonsense that I think we haven't been over before.
We've been over it.
It's a mission.
It's a level in the new Call of Duty where American soldiers invade another sovereign country, Germany, for our election results that are being held there?
Yes.
You've played it.
We played it together one time.
So yeah, and Gina Haspel was part of the bad guy team that was either killed, wounded, or captured during the fight that liberated the Golden Server from Frankfurt, which shows that Trump won California.
So I will pretend that I have never seen Gina Haspel since then, so I will assume that she is a robot in Gitmo.
I'm going with Gitmo Robot for my final answer.
That sounds good to me.
I look forward to playing that again, that mission again, and the new Call of Duty All-Stars.
Yes.
Oh, that sounds great.
Where they edited out the helicopter mission, the airport mission, where you have to be a terrorist and kill civilians.
I remember reading about the controversy of that a while ago.
That seemed like a really poor decision on their part.
Press F to pay respects or whatever.
Yeah, no joke, that was actually the first and only Call of Duty I bought, and it opened and I was like, why does it seem like I'm the baddie?
And I was very confused.
I'd never bought a Call of Duty before or since.
So you landed at the perfect spot.
So well done, Sarge.
Well done.
So thank you Snorlaxypap for the question.
Traplord Flecko says, Fred Brennan has said before that he believes Ron or Jim could be prosecuted for impersonating a federal agent.
Do you think this is at all possible?
Uh, I really, I don't know.
Because yeah, yeah.
Uh, because I think just claiming you have Q level clearance doesn't mean anything because like that is a very civilian level of clearance.
I've, there are people who've been on the internet who've been like, I am a contractor who's worked with the government before and I had to get Q clearance in order to do my job and It was basically just a bunch of paperwork and having some friends file affidavits for me or whatever, and then they had to get talked to by the FBI or whoever.
So it was a hoop to jump through, but it wasn't the end of the world.
At any moment, if any agency tried to come after them, their lawyers would just be like, my client was engaging in interactive fiction on the internet, and it is not their fault.
That other people took it too far.
They never showed any fake credentials.
They never actually appeared as the person, even in person, to tell anyone any of this information.
It was clearly and transparently just fakery on the internet.
And that will be the end of that.
Yeah.
Absolutely no chance, like I'm just saying it now, 100% absolutely no chance ever.
Zero.
Yeah.
Yeah, I agree.
It's the Tucker Carlson-Alex Jones defense where you literally say, obviously I was making that shit up.
It's the quote-unquote no reasonable person would believe this shit defense.
And that defense has worked incredibly for public figures.
And as much as Ron Watkins wants to be a big boy public figure, he's not there.
So I can't even imagine quote-unquote private citizen Ron Watkins would get in any trouble using that defense or excuse for what he did.
I mean, I would love for there to be... I've heard people say, how is what Ron did not illegal?
And the answer is, shitposting on the internet is not illegal, and we have the First Amendment, which is, again, why when Alex Jones was facing these Sandy Hook lawsuits, there were lots of people who thought he was going to win until he decided to be so fucking incompetent he couldn't even ...provide enough documents for discovery that he ended up losing by default.
So, I mean, when Alex Jones was probably a coin flip to win before a jury, Ron Watkins is fucking skating free.
I mean, that's just the way it is.
Yeah, it's for the same reason that Zooey Deschanel can't come at me for saying that her acting is just not for me.
It's not something I like.
It's not something that I personally enjoy.
But you can like it if you want.
It's fine, I'm sure.
Yeah.
Where is her acting vis-a-vis the Beastie Boys Beats?
They're both fine.
Oh, the Beastie Boys Beats?
The rhymes, I imagine.
I was about to say, how dare you?
Yes.
I was about to un-sell out real quick to come at you.
Yes, yes.
As compared to the Beastie Boys rhyming ability.
It's just not for me.
It's fine.
They're both equally fine.
Man, that was like a 10 out of 10 on diplomacy.
I just got a text from Blue Apron.
We're fucking in.
We did it.
Oh shit, MeUndies is next.
Yes, you know it!
Is Casper still doing it?
They're a good one.
And like, WatchaGang.
I just pictured myself in my kitchen, wearing a literal blue apron, and some MeUndies, and a big fancy watch, and just like, with all of my fat sellout money for being a podcast millionaire.
I'm gonna be the next Kevin Smith, baby!
Reverend Xenofact asks, Jim Jordan wants to end all vaccine mandates in Ohio.
Is this the future of the GOP being on the side of measles?
And the answer is yes.
There's no bad faith, dumb argument these people won't make in an effort to try to scam votes from anti-vaxxers, QAnon lunatics, other conspiracy theorists.
It goes to show how unpopular they kind of believe themselves to be so they're just like going into like harder and harder like places to mine for the voting for votes and they're just like hey fuck it there might be like 20 votes in those QAnon hills we need to go get them so let's like tell people they don't need to get their kids vaccinated for fucking anything in order to try to see if those 20 people can be stirred to uh Vote for our boy.
Cause if you look at like the, uh, if you look at the two, uh, 2008 and 2012 elections, like McCain and Romney got the almost the exact same amount of votes.
It was like, like about 62 million votes or whatever.
And then you look at Trump and he got 3 million more votes than those two schlubs.
So the Republican party learned, holy shit, open racism is just an actual net positive for our candidate.
And also running against Hillary Clinton, who's kind of hated, versus Barack Obama.
But they didn't take that lesson too hard, because they were just more impressed by that.
Holy shit, more votes!
So we gotta run with whatever Trump did, because he was the guy that was able to move the needle in ways that McCain and Romney couldn't.
So they're just flying blind, and they're just desperate to try to figure out how they can find anybody that can make the Electoral College kind of close, and they got a chance to get a W. So yeah, fuck it.
Anti-needles vaccinations.
Let's do this.
Yeah, if COVID has taught us anything, it's that for conservatives, well, the vocal dumb Twitter conservatives, or sorry, uneducated Twitter conservatives, You can't fathom how apocalyptically bad a virus would be for them to accept a mandate now.
Because we had them all licked thanks to vaccines earlier, right?
Nobody had to do a polio or measles or whatever because we just beat them with vaccines.
But it's been a long time since anyone had to deal with that shit.
So long that these conservatives have forgotten what it's like when one of these big boy viruses ravages our planet.
So COVID was just not quite enough to get us there.
Despite the fact that it's killed millions of people or whatever.
They don't give a fuck.
It would have to be like Yo, the like COVID-24 is here.
And when you get infected with it, it turns your bones into centipedes.
And then the centipedes claw their way out of you.
And by the way, it is like it is the most virulent thing ever.
If you go outside, you're guaranteed to catch it.
Then maybe they would consider a mandate for a vaccine.
Yeah, we need a real Black Death like they had back in the day.
Not the Black Death we have now that's still around.
We need the good one that killed a third of the population.
That'll really take care of it.
Also to remind everyone, I was on my fifth booster of an experimental anthrax vaccine while I was in the army.
I did not have a choice.
I was told I had a choice.
I didn't.
I was told I had a choice, then I was let known.
That I didn't have a choice and I signed a flimsy little Xerox waiver and they're like you're gonna get this or if you get exposed to anthrax you'll die and we had to get and I was letting know that there are side effects we don't totally know what they are but you're getting this and I was on my fifth booster.
Yeah they're telling you that you had a choice it's like Bunker going up to Kima and being like do you recognize any of these guys?
Like tapping on the photo of the guy that did it.
Anybody here you think looks good?
Yeah, I also got vaccines for stuff I don't know about.
I have to go through my own medical records to go over all the, to read about all the vaccines I got.
When I went to Iraq, holy shit.
Again, they walk you into a room and just line you up and just like, here's your, here's your vaccines that you're getting for stuff.
I got like dengue fever and not leishmaniasis.
That was another one that we had to watch out for.
We're going to find out that you got vaccinated against comedy and that will explain a lot.
Zing!
Ooh!
Newell's still breaking the heaters!
They surgically removed my funny bone.
The thing that makes me laugh so much about this is that I saw a QAnon promoter being like, those Southwest pilots are ex-military and they're not the type that are gonna comply!
And then you have Sarge being here like, yeah, I'm ex-military and guess what happens to you when you're in the military?
You're a goddamn vaccine pincushion!
They just run up to you and stab you with everything!
You get so many shots and it's you get the flu shot yearly they take everyone to a big gym and line it line up you're getting the flu shot it's just it's every year it's every time you deploy you just get so many vaccines and so they're ex-military well then they're full of vaccines they're full of it they're riddled with goddamn vaccines Their blood is literally just vaccination with a little blood in it.
Don't worry, you can just sign up for the National Guard or the Space Force and never have to worry about being shot ever.
Zing!
Hey-o!
Take that!
So, and then that was our tiny mailbag for the week.
Because again, I apologize to our audience because I'm a dumb-dumb.
So we will finish with, as always, the Chairman Walkman questioning numerous, what are you excited about?
I was supposed to have plans for this evening to watch Edward Scissorhands, but they fell through as we were recording the podcast.
So now I'm not really, like, I don't have anything going on today, I don't think.
So I can't, I honestly don't have a great answer for, oh no, I guess I'm excited for Dune.
Dune comes out in like 10 days.
I want to see that movie.
Like, I like Denis Villeneuve.
I'll go see his Dune.
You're excited for Webtoons.
You're going to go read more Webtoons as soon as we're done.
I don't know what you're talking about.
I haven't been doing any of that.
I'm not super thrilled about how...
Boring the color palette of Dune looks based on the trailers.
It looks like Skyrim in that everything is either gray or some shade of brown.
Which I'm not a fan of.
When the fuck did that happen in sci-fi and fantasy?
When like it just became determined that with like literally an unlimited amount of creativity at your disposal because you're talking about make them up places that don't exist.
Like so many of them just settled on yeah this planet's probably gray.
It's just like okay so what are the spaceships like?
They're also gray.
How about the armor everyone's wearing?
Oh, the armor?
You better believe it's black with gray highlights.
It's like, uh, okay, cool.
They are on a planet that is famous for being entirely desert.
But not for, like, the whole movie.
Not when they're on their spaceships or whatever.
And granted, I have not read the book.
And some people are going, like, how dare you not read Dune?
And the reason I didn't read it is because sci-fi is fucking boring sometimes.
And I'm just, like, not a huge fan of it.
I prefer fantasy.
Sorry.
But, like, then you see stuff, like, everyone's like, oh, dog, you've got to watch The Expanse.
Oh, it's so expanseful.
Every time I've seen any clip of The Expanse, it's a bunch of boring fucking people standing in a hallway that looks like a hallway of a building I've been in.
But, like, I'm supposed to, like, pull out and it's on a spaceship.
Whoa!
And everything is black and gray and dark and nonsensical.
I'm just like, no.
I want, I want, I want, like, put fantastical shit in, like, you're not, like, you're not, like, constrained by reality when you're making these.
It just legitimately pisses me off how boring these people are.
Granted, Denis Villeneuve is not historically one to make a bad movie, so I'm sure that Dune is going to be lit.
But, like, especially coming off of what he did with Blade Runner, where it was just like, you know, because Blade Runner is a pretty grey movie, too, but in his version of Blade Runner, like, you go to different places, they have different, like, color textures to them, like, not everything looks the same, and based on just the trailers, Dune looks very samey in the way its color palette and, like, like color texture to everything just sort of works, so.
I don't know.
I'm excited to see it.
For the other pod.
Cautiously excited to see it.
We'll see.
I bought Tales of Arise, which is a JSRPG, and I've put over 13 hours into it, and I'm having a lot of fun.
The story is that of a JRPG, but the characters are really good, so that makes up for it.
I'm having a bunch of fun.
Well, that's cool.
I've pretty much burned myself out of Hades.
It took me about 120 hours to finally complete everything I wanted to complete in that game, and the power leveling of certain weapons.
To me, the shield and the bow are so good, and the gun are so good, and the other three weapons are just like, why would I ever use these unless I just wanted to make my life harder than necessary?
So, like, I have, like, the smallest of nitpicks, but God, God, that game was good, and I'm so glad that I got into it.
And, uh, looking forward, uh, I might try out New Worlds, because people were talking about that as an MMO, and that's a thing that is interesting to me.
So, uh... You're ready to wait in a 3,000-person queue so that you can go farm some hemp?
Yes, I live only for that.
I mean, that's the authentic MMO experience.
That's what I'm all about.
Mike loves him.
Oh yeah, Mike Reeds historically loves Gunge, man.
Yes, that's me.
That's absolutely me.
So yeah, basically just looking forward to trying to find a new game and continuing to be awash in ye olde football season.
I think this week, to me, this is going to be another kind of scary game for ye olde home team.
I mean, it's funny because the Dallas Cowboys have been just absolute frauds for forever.
And now this is the year that they're really real for really reals, and they're a big road favorite against the Patriots.
And, like, my rational brain is just like, yeah, the Patriots aren't very good this year, and Dallas is very good this year, so Dallas is just gonna roll them, and that's the way it's gonna go.
But, like, my lizard brain from, like, 20 years of conditioning is just like, Dallas is gonna find a way to fuck this up.
They always do.
They always will.
Like, I'll believe Dallas wins when I see it.
So it's really funny that, like, I just have those two things giving me the tug of war in my brain about that foosball game that's going to be happening this Sunday.
My favorite thing about liking football but not loving football is that I am perfectly set.
I just don't give much of a shit about the Patriots being bad this season.
I had 20 years of the Patriots being incredible.
They can be bad for a while.
It's fine.
I can root for other bad teams, like the Kansas City Chiefs.
Yes.
Oh, God.
I heard you.
Yeah, the Kansas City Chiefs being bad has been a shockingly surprising thing.
It's been astonishing!
How is that?
How are they 2 and 3?
That doesn't make any sense!
We decided to not have defense.
We only need to play one side of the ball.
But you haven't had defense the past two seasons either, and you went to the Super Bowl both times.
What makes the difference?
I don't know.
Everyone caught on.
Everyone else caught on.
Everybody's just like, oh, all we have to do is smash Patrick Mahomes if they literally don't have a team?
Okay, got it.
I'll make this clear that I'm going to do some wagering while making the... either just betting the Chiefs straight win that game against Washington Football Team this week, or making them a one-point favorite and Trixie teases and stuff.
And when Washington Football Team wins that game, I am going to be so furious that I just thought the Chiefs were going to pull out of their fraud spiral, and instead they're just going to hit the earth even harder and confirm themselves as frauds.
Oh man, if the Chiefs end up confirming themselves to be fraudulent, it's gonna be so juicy for all those people that were immediately just like, oh man, Mahomes is the new Brady.
It's like, dog, Brady has seven Super Bowl championships.
You shut your fucking mouth!
All that matters is Patrick Mahomes got them to bring Whataburger to Kansas City.
That's very important, clearly.
Does Whataburger have a burger that's a big piece of steak with a bunch of ketchup all over it, ruining the steak?
I'm sure they do now.
It's called the Mahomespecial because that guy is a monster in that particular way.
And by monster, I mean it's fine.
Like, you know, it's not for me, but... If you want to put ketchup on your steak, that's perfectly fine.
You do you.
Live your bliss.
Oh god.
I'd like to thank our sponsor for this week, Blue Apron.
No, that's a joke.
They are not sponsoring us.
Don't sue us, Blue Apron.
Whoever's like, we don't want no fucking part of your podcast.
How dare you make cracks about us being your sponsor?
MyPillow absolutely is our sponsor.
Give us that money, Mike Liddell.
We don't care.
Yeah, Mike Liddell.
I will sell it immediately.
You don't even know.
I would like to be able to afford a reasonable house in an area that I enjoy, so snap me off like three million dollars and I will use it as a down payment on a house in my area because it's very expensive.
All right, that is going to be our podcast for this week.
Shorter than normal by a little bit because of our smaller than normal mailbag.
Blame Mike Raines, which is fine.
In the meantime, it's time for me to rally up all of our sweet motorcycles so we could tear ass out of Hill World like a big bicycle gang.
Or I guess motorcycle gang.
Although, our motorcycle club is called Bicycle Gang.
If we ever make merch, I demand leather motorcycle jackets that say Bicycle Gang.
It was the accent that did it.
Oh yeah, Bicycle Gang.
Anyway...
I'm so disappointed that I muted myself for Elle's outro, so you didn't hear my cackling either.
Bicycle gang, form up and roll out in the hell world!
Anyway, thank you so much for listening, if you managed to make it this far.
If you'd like to support the show, and I can't imagine why you would, you can do so for free by telling a friend, leaving us a five-star review, giving us a bunch of stars or a thumbs up.
Depending on whatever platform you're consuming the media through, just tell them that you like what we're doing.
If you have money and you'd like to support us, you can use that money to support us by visiting patreon.com slash PokerPolitics.
Anybody who donates five dollars and above becomes one of our beautifuller babies, gets access to all of our bonus content, including series such as Kabalin, The Fallow's Deed, Mike Raine's Untitled History Podcast, at some point possibly Sarge's Conspiracy Corner, and I believe next week we are expecting that those of you who help support us will get your sweet access to Where we go one, we go Squall.
The Avengers in Hellworld slash Binge Wordy crossover episode where the gang is going to watch and discuss the movie White Squall, where QAnon gets their dumb catchphrase from.
So $5 a month will get you access to all of that content and more in the future.
If you have money and you don't want to give it to us, you're just like, why do you deserve our five dollars a month?
Shouldn't we give it to somebody that's actually gonna do something in the world?
Idiots!
Well then yeah, you can go ahead and donate money to love146.org, an organization whose vision is the end of child trafficking and exploitation, and that is in their own words, and it sounds pretty good to me.
As always, we would like to thank DJ Minimal Effort, who remains too cool for social media, for providing our intro music.
We would like to thank Frosty, our voiceover artist friend over at Twitter, at FrostyVO, for providing our voice of cue when we need it and all of our bumps and content warning at the top of the show.
And I would like to once again invite you to come listen to me and Sarge doing our spinoff content over at BingeWerdy.
That's B-I-N-G-E-W-O-R-D-Y, where we discuss pop media and, yeah, break down some stuff.
In the spirit of the season, this month we are doing...
October!
And we just got done watching The Happening, which is to say that Sarge got to watch The Happening.
He might say that he was made to watch The Happening, but he got to.
God, that movie's good.
Zooey Deschanel is so great in it.
So, once again, if you're interested in it, check that out.
You can find us on Twitter, at BingeWerdy.
And that is going to do it for another successful episode of the Adventures in Hell World podcast.
As always, I've been your host, El, the mysterious El, almost giving my BingeWerdy sign-off, which would be not copacetic.
Signing off for my co-host Sarge, and as always, our expert at all things QAnon, the master of madness, Mr. Mike Rains.
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