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March 31, 2021 - Adventures in HellwQrld
01:28:05
Adventures in HellwQrld Episode 28: HBO Doc and PizzaGaetz

We got breaking news about Matt Gaetz being a possible pedophile and Mike reviews the latest 2 episodes of the HBO QAnon documentary. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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♪♪♪ ♪♪♪
♪♪♪ Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of Adventures
in Hellworld.
I am Mike Rains, a.k.a.
Poker and Politics, and I am joined, as always, by Sarge.
Hello from the internet.
And the mysterious Elle.
Hello, beautiful babies!
I don't know if Elle saw it.
I tried to link you to it, but Christine, the guitarist from Blondie, made a unsettling connection between you and Ron Watkins.
Oh, I did see that.
I think it's, you know, Shit happens.
Like, sometimes you take a codename that's been used by an anime character, even though that's not why you chose it, and then that anime character gets confused for the Wagyu Q King.
But before we digress too far down our rabbit hole, let's let the people know what they're in for.
Content warning.
The Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in depth about QAnon, which means we have to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people.
Listener discretion advised.
We need tools to put on your fucking headphones.
I'm pretty sure I heard a bunch of echo coming through there.
Yeah, hold on.
Look at this unprofessionalism.
That's right, audience.
You're listening to this in media res or whatever.
Like, this is happening in real time.
Elle having to scold the other two to put their headphones on.
Elle is a harsh but fair taskmaster.
Yeah, this is me cracking that whip.
Anyway, now that we have the people well-informed as to the level of nonsense that they are jacked into, we were talking about my association to the Wagyu King by way of the guitarist of Blondie, which is like where my fucking life is right now.
It's glorious.
2021, it's going to be a good year.
Yes, we are all allegedly somewhere in the general vicinity of receiving a vaccine from the murder plague that has been impacting us for the past year and change.
I got one today!
Oh, you lucky dog!
Is it a two-shotter or a one-shotter?
It's two shot air.
I don't think the one shot's approved in America yet.
Must be military connections.
It's approved.
Johnson & Johnson's got 20 million vaxes out in March.
I got the Pfizer.
So yeah, my mom's getting her second shot Thursday.
So she will be fully armed and operational In two days time, as it were.
All the Gates software installed in her.
Yeah, I get to register to become physically enhanced tomorrow.
They're going to give me my super soldier serum.
And when I come out of the chamber, I'm going to have those like 12 pack abs that Chris Evans does.
I was going to ask if you were going to look like a US agent in the new show, just like slightly cheaper.
No, I'm gonna look like a strong, masculine Chinese soldier.
I was about to ask you if you were gonna look like a Chinese soldier, and El just cut in the lane and took the ball away from me.
There's no joke there that isn't some sort of Tucker Carlson racist gong noise that I can make.
Pretty much.
I mean, that's just the nature of things.
So we had a lot of headlines to get to, so we might as well just start getting to them right away.
So let's get to the Cues in the News segment.
From the digital headlines to the digital front lines, it's Cues in the News.
Breaking news from the digital front lines!
Straight from our mouths to God's ears!
Alright, Sarge, hit him with that HOT BREAKING NEWS!
Oh, jeez.
So, I'm going to say this guy's name is Matt Goetz, and you haven't written your Matt Goetz in the Chamber of Pedophilia.
So, I don't know exactly who this guy is, but he is definitely touching some people that are underage, and he is a buddy of Trump.
Do I have that right?
I just want to let the people know that when I say this is breaking news, that's not a bit.
During our production meeting before we started recording, two minutes before we hit go, this broke officially.
Yes, it is on my screen right now.
Two minutes ago, however long ago that was, our Orlando Sentinel sex trafficking probe of Representative Matt Gaetz emerges.
And what is weird is earlier today, there was news that he, that Representative Gates was eyeing retirement from Congress to take a job at Newsmax.
So one might think that he heard something in the wind coming for him.
Yeah, I mean, that that was only a what did they call it?
That was a seven hour Delta.
Yes.
Those two drops.
He heard police sirens, he heard injuries by law enforcement to people he knows.
Like, hey, does Matt keep hanging out around the high school?
Yeah, it's really wild because Matt is the guy who randomly brought up the fact that he was kind of like a foster dad to a kid named Nestor, and he also had a DUI previously, and then now This article just broke where he was traveling with a 17 year old girl and he paid for her to travel with him and this isn't all these like weird laws about if you cross state lines to have sex with someone who's underage and all that kind of stuff like
Yeah, this is probably a good point for us to say that this is breaking news, none of us are lawyers, and certainly none of us know the consent age laws, state to state, or whatever.
So there's a good chance that Matt Gaetz, however it's pronounced, did not break any laws, and that this breaking news is just funny goofs and gaffes about him being in the Chamber of Pedophilia.
He is certainly not a convicted pedophile.
This all might be legal.
But that doesn't mean it's not morally reprehensible.
So much like Sidney Powell, no reasonable person would possibly believe anything that we have to say.
I mean, just listen to our sex robot jag from the last episode.
We all ate chili this morning.
We are not going to remember any of this.
I'm forgetting this as I'm saying it.
Yeah, just like Roseanne, we took some Ambien and did a bad thing, but the Ambien absolves us of all of our guilt.
We're all going on Joe Rogan tomorrow to explain why we're such awful shitbags.
And I don't know.
Of all the people to be our confessor for that, Joe Rogan.
Can you imagine?
That would be amazing.
That would be so great for us.
Forgive me, Joe Rogan, for I am a dirtbag.
That would be like confessing to the actual devil in church.
It'd be like, who cares?
I, too, am a dirtbag.
I mean, he has Alex Jones and Roseanne on, and anyone who's a shitbag and it's time to do their apology tour for taking pictures as Hitler with burnt Jew cookies, he just believes in redemption.
Anyway, we could run up the scoreboard on Joe Rogan forever.
But right now, let's continue to run up the scoreboard on Mr. Gates.
I'm just going to say Gates.
Yeah, we're going to go with Gates, whatever his name is.
He is a huge Trump sycophant.
QAnon is, in general, been a fan of this guy because, again, if you're a fan of Trump, QAnon loves you, and that's just the way this works.
And he was a guy who, during the initial COVID outbreak and all that kind of stuff, was on the floor of the house wearing a World War I-styled gas mask to ridicule and mock how dumb all this stuff was.
Oh, that guy.
Okay.
I think he ended up catching it, or at least had to, like, quarantine because he was in contact with someone who had it.
Isn't that basically all of Congress?
Pretty much, but I mean, it's way more on the Republican side because they just didn't take this shit seriously, so they ended up fucking around and finding out, as it were.
Sounds like he may have also caught whatever Jeremy Epstein had.
But uh...
See, I like just, you know, I'm sort of the audience stand-in as a person who
doesn't really know shit about Q. I'm confused.
If he loves Trump and Trump loves Q, but Q hates child trafficking, how is it possible that this guy is traveling across state lines paying underage women for sex?
Uh, because Trump was keeping his friends close and his enemies closer.
That's always their default line on Epstein and how Trump was bros with Epstein the whole time.
Oh wait, record scratch?
He allegedly paid this girl?
This young lady?
Well, he paid for the travel.
Like, basically, when they were going around.
Yeah, he picked up the tab for the sex travel.
Not necessarily, like, exchanging money for services.
Yeah, it wasn't prostitution.
It was just like, oh, we're both getting hotel rooms?
I'll pay for your hotel room and stuff like that.
Don't worry, baby, I know that you can't possibly afford this trip on a high schooler salary.
Come on, and I'll pick up the bill, because I'm such a nice guy.
I know you're legally not allowed to have a credit card.
Yeah, but remember this sexual encounter when you vote, please, in like a year or two.
Yeah, when you're legally allowed to do so.
This is one of those things where even if somehow this is all legal and above board, it is still morally reprehensible, the age discrepancy and the fact that she is, by legal standards, a minor.
Gates had to know that going into this thing, this is why he was looking at that Newsmax job because he was going to have to face the voters in 2022 because he's a representative and representatives are constantly running for re-election.
They only get two-year terms.
And If there was ever a way to have a QAnon nut run against you in a primary, it is any charge of pedophilia with any level of credibility being put against you means that literally out of the earth itself, a QAnon candidate will form into human flesh from mud and then traipse about the Florida swamp screaming that you must be removed from Congress because you are a pederast.
Do you think FSU is gonna have him back to talk now that he's an alleged underage sex offender?
Like, oh man.
I bet they're not gonna let him speak at any high schools, I'll tell you that much.
This has nothing to do with nothing, but on his wiki page it has his high school listed as Niceville High School.
I wonder if he just went back for like a class reunion.
Niceville High School, class of 69.
Oh god, we're gonna have to record a sting at some point.
And it will be beaten into gravity.
It's loaded in, it's up there under... I know, but I don't want to use the generic.
That's just tacky.
I mean, that's well below our quality.
Oh, our levels of production require far better stingers than that.
But, um...
Yeah, this is just so hilarious that this guy who, I mean, there are plenty of people that get into the House of Representatives and you could never pick them out of the police lineup.
They're just generic Republican, generic Democrat, just person in Congress.
And then there are those folks who get some camera time, like AOC and Marjorie Taylor Greene and Louie Gohmert.
Yeah, I mean, you get like people that like actually make it on television and, and Gates is one of them.
He's a guy that is on Fox News all the time, screaming about tyranny and how Joe Biden's a bad person and how back when Trump was in office, how Donald Trump was a great person and yin and yang.
So it's really, I just, I really wonder how these people are able to have that much hubris about them that they're just like, Oh, no one's going to notice me.
She's on break.
She's on break.
around with a 17 year old girl and occasionally having sex with her.
This I will, this will never blob in my face.
No one will ever like uncover that.
None of my staff have ever like, Hey Matt, what's that teenage girl doing with us?
You know, shut up.
We don't leave it alone.
No one's ever going to, no one's ever going to drop a dime on me.
No one will ever figure that out.
She's on break.
She's on break.
Don't worry about it.
Like, and that's like one of the things that's always made me laugh about, uh,
I get into these arguments with QAnon supporters and all this stuff, and they're just like, how do you know that Hillary Clinton doesn't eat babies or bargles worgle and all this stuff?
And I just say to them, well, Obama would have brought it up in the 08 primary if she had eaten babies, and it would have bounced her out of the election, and he would have won.
Running for public office is a great disinfectant for corruption.
Can those people still be corrupt?
Absolutely.
But when you have people that can take your seat of power away from you by exposing your corruption, it's way more incentivized to expose that corruption.
If someone found out that Saddam Hussein was corrupt, guess what happened?
Saddam killed them.
And that was the end of them.
They were gone.
But if you can expose your governor as being a corrupt piece of shit and get it to the right people in law enforcement or the local newspapers or whatever, you can take them down and they will no longer hold that seat of power.
So... That's what we did in Missouri.
That's what we did here.
And then we got an even worse Republican to fill in for the guy that we got rid of after he took naked pictures of women without their consent.
Isn't that guy going to try to run for that Senate seat now?
Yeah, I think he is.
That's wonderful.
And I mean... Politics is amazing.
American politics is just so good.
Look at all these idiots that managed to like ascend to power in our country.
It's so ridiculous.
I mean, it's fail upwards.
It's the Peter principle.
Oh, God, is it ever?
I mean, that's where you settle at your level of incompetency.
Right.
Water finds its level in politics and corruption.
Speaking of water finding its level, Mike, tell me a story about a boat.
So the Evergreen, or Evergiven, or whatever you want to call that boat in the Suez Canal, was finally liberated.
And you would think with this story being on its last- Well, the one that was in the canal was the Evergiven, right?
And the Evergreen is another boat in that fleet, but Q-Idiots confused them, because Q-Idiots are idiots.
I thought Evergreen was the company.
Evergreen's the company, and Evergiven- Evergreen is the company.
Oh, okay, I had that wrong.
Sorry, QAnon.
You're just as intelligent as you ever were.
Right.
Evergreen was the overall company.
Evergiven was the direct name of the boat.
Because I know all of their fleet is Eversomething.
Right, exactly.
So, this boat was stuck for a long time.
And without Daddy Q or Daddy Trump to really give QAnon direction and guidance on what to say or do about this stupid boat, they had to kind of, you know, spitball and workshop some ideas.
And they really didn't have any good ideas until about the day before the boat got liberated.
And QAnon went back to the well they love the most, and that is trafficked children.
They came up with the idea.
You could have a lot of children on that boat.
Yes!
It's real big.
You could even have Matt Gaetz on that boat.
You could!
You could have Matt Gaetz on that boat picking out his next girlfriend!
I mean, it'd be incredible!
So, you had this boat that had been trapped in the Suez Canal, and then there was talk about how the U.S.
Navy, the Russian Navy, all of these different military operations, military units were being moved into the position.
To get the boat out.
And there became this percolating belief in QAnon that when the military arrived They were going to not so much move the boat and get it out of the way, but storm the boat, crack open the containers, and find tens of thousands of trafficked children on the boat and reveal to the world the massive cabal-led human trafficking ring that is all around us everywhere on the planet.
So I'm assuming the next headline we're going to cover is this Temple of Doom-esque wave of underage children fleeing off of this boat?
Actually, no, the boat was liberated.
The boat was refloated, as they said, and then just went on its merry way with no tens of thousands of trafficked children recovered.
This brilliant... Soros got to them.
Yeah, Soros made them stand down.
Or he came and filled with adrenochrome, just pulled out and pushed the boat.
Hideo Kojima style, like hanging out of the side of a helicopter with some sort of cool face mask.
And then other people on the ground looking up and just saying like in Arabic or whatever, just being like, Oh my God, it's Hillary Clinton.
She'd be blood dead, lady.
I was just, I was thinking of Hillary.
The Marines are on the boat, they're like cracking open the crates, they're getting the kids out.
And then Hillary just like coasts through the warp tube like Hela in Thor Ragnarok and starts throwing daggers at all of them, just murdering everybody.
She just takes them and cracks them down the middle and drinks their blood, like anime style, just rips them in half, wrings them out like a wet rag, drinks their blood onto the next one, and then shoves the boat down the canal.
Guys, we should write a spec script for Hillary Clinton and the Adrenochrome Warriors.
I'm down, I'm down.
Any creative writing project is good with me.
I bet if we put it under a bunch of pen names and sent it to Ben Shapiro, he could get Junior Carano as the lead.
Hulked out Hillary Clinton.
Yeah, she would be the lead army ranger fighting the adrenochrome-fueled Hillary Clinton.
I mean, either way, I just want her on board in this project.
Get some name recognition.
And who can we get?
Is Bea Arthur still alive?
Can we get her as Hillary Clinton?
Roll it around in the old brain box while we keep talking about this stuck boat.
The funniest thing about this is... She's dead.
We'll just have Roseanne Barr slim down.
We'll just have Roseanne Barr get on the treadmill.
Or she can just be as large as she is.
QAnon already think that Hillary Clinton is just massively overweight and hideous anyways.
So we'll just have Roseanne Barr in very limited prosthetics as evil Hillary.
And Idris Elba as Michelle Obama.
Because Q are monsters.
Not because I think anything about that.
He's got the range.
I mean, Idris Elba's amazing, but I mean, like, it is cute that thinks Michelle Obama looks like a man.
I think that Michelle Obama looks like she is all woman.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
All I can think of right now was just Idris Elba's reacting to Starro in the trailer of the new Suicide Squad movie.
And I feel you.
I feel you, Idris.
So, yes.
Speaking of sea life, is there anything else going on with this boat?
I mean, I'm not surprised that QAnon jumped all over this.
It's like literally headline, like worldwide headline making news about a body of water.
Like I'm assuming they were all just like groping their nautical erections.
So QJ Jonah Jameson somewhere just being like, give me an angle on this boat!
Oh, they would work at every angle they could.
But the funniest thing is my hero in the QAnon community, because he's such a worthless dumb idiot, Jordan Statham, he does podcasts with the people who are literally preaching the children on the boat narrative.
And after the boat got freed, Satan was like, oh, look at all these idiots that were telling us there were going to be kids on the boat.
They were going to save them.
And it's like, fuck you.
You're on a podcast with IET who literally did the, he was the guy who started the whole kids on the boat shit.
Like your podcast co-host is the problem here.
This would be like El subtweeting me repeatedly.
And then next week on the podcast, we're just bros.
We completely ignore the fact that El was just dunking on me aggressively for my pathological lying during the previous week.
I mean, that sort of is my friendship with the both of you.
Like, I dunk on you guys and then you don't hold it against me and we continue on like nothing ever happened.
And it's fair that way, because in a lot of ways, I deserve it.
But on the whole, they had nothing for this thing.
And because they're so disorganized, so silly and useless now, they finally came up with their narrative a day before the story ended.
If they had come up with this thing, they would have had four days of solid drama.
They dredged up some sort of Evergreen reference in one of the ancient Q-drops, right?
Like, they consulted their texts of wisdom?
Well, Evergreen was Hillary Clinton's codename when she was first lady.
Basically, the way the Secret Service works with these dumb, quote-unquote, public codenames is they give the president a name, and then the rest of the family get a name that has the same first letter as the president's a name.
So Clinton was Eagle.
So Hillary was Evergreen.
JFK was Lancer.
So Jackie was Lace.
And Trump was Mogul.
So Melania was Muse.
And it's just this very dumb, just... Lancer and Lace sounds like an awesome, like, comic duo.
Lancer and Lace.
Didn't, um...
Oh, the actress that he had an affair with.
Marilyn Monroe.
Didn't she have a codename?
I don't think so.
I don't think that... I mean, her real name had two M's in it.
Get with it.
Yes, exactly.
But basically, QAnon's whole... I mean, their whole worldview is that nothing existed in this world before QAnon revealed the truth of that thing to these people.
So they have no concept of anything except for what Q tells them about.
So when they hear the word evergreen, they freak out.
And it's like, you do understand that evergreen is a term that means always relevant.
When you see someone saying evergreen tweet, that just means that's a statement you could say any time.
It doesn't mean I'm referencing Hillary Clinton.
Yeah, I made this joke before, but I'm sure there's some sort of literary term for a word that describes itself, and evergreen is one of those.
Evergreen is literally an evergreen term, and it means, you know, timeless.
Yeah, always around.
Right.
So it's a pretty common term.
Yeah.
Today, Joe Biden's dog apparently bit somebody again.
A QAnon person was just like, oh, there's more dogcom today.
What's going on?
And it's just, you people don't know what it's like to have a person who owns dogs talking about their dogs all the time and their dogs doing stuff.
I mean, it's like they're blown away by the idea that the animal known as man's best friend could possibly make its way into the news when the president owns two dogs.
Didn't Obama's dog have its own... No, George W. Bush's dog had its own, like, section of the website and, like, wore a webcam.
What does that mean, Q?
Barney the Scottish Terrier had his own, like, livestream.
Q wasn't around for Bush.
Q don't care.
Oh, and Bush was deep state.
Bush was cabal.
He was a monster.
Yeah, he orchestrated 9-11.
That's the real conspiracy.
Some people say that the Jews did 9-11 or whatever if you want to be anti-Semitic about it.
But no, the secret is George W. Bush did 9-11.
It was him all along.
Oh yeah, I mean, that was the Alex Jones Baby's Guide to Conspiracy Theories.
I was trying to pull up the tweets for our mailbag for when we get to that, and the first thing I saw on my Twitter feed was Gates wearing the World War I face mask with a woman standing next to him.
And Gates says, it says 18 on this piece of paper here, right?
Old Matt's getting dragged through the mud pretty hard here on Ye Olde Social Media.
Oh yeah, when I Googled him real quick for our news segment there, there were no less than three articles on different news sites being like, D.O.J.
investigate!
Yeah, he's getting the old roasting.
Yeah, he's gonna enjoy vacating that seat and resigning in shame.
To take his job at Newsmax and being a right-wing talking head scumbag until he hits the cooling off period and becomes the governor of Florida in like six years, because that's the way our country works.
You have to be shamed for a very brief period of time before you, as we've said previously, fail upwards and accrue more power and success, even though you are a sexual predator and a monster.
Well, as we discussed, there's always room for scumbags in office.
Yes.
Plenty of offices to fill.
Just go to any old state that has a few extra representative seats, have purported relations with someone 20 years younger than you when she's not in math class, and there you go.
You too can hold office.
Oh, the dream we all aspire to, to be horrible sex pests and to wield power in the halls of Congress in the United States of America.
I mean, for some people, holding precious public office is the ultimate dream.
Yes.
And because Sarge refuses to take the softball layup, hey, speaking of running for office, isn't Lin Wood doing that?
I was looking up something else.
Ladies, it's Black Mambazo!
That's not your job, Sarge.
We gave you one job.
Yeah, I was just like, oh, my first perfect segue didn't go over so well.
Let me double back on it in a different way.
Give him a second bite of that apple.
Wrong!
Nope.
So our dear friend, Lin Wood, who is by all metrics on social media, the actual king of QAnon at this point.
Lin Wood has decided that it's time for him to leave the sidelines of the political battlefield and to enter the fray and to attempt to become the South Carolina Republican Party chairman.
I don't know exactly when the election for this very prestigious seat would be, but in a very interesting little twist, after being endorsed by Michael Flynn and other grifting scumbags, Donald Trump came out and re-endorsed Drew McKissick, who I believe is the incumbent chair of the South Carolina Republican Party.
So this is a very interesting situation where you have Lin Wood, literal QAnon embodied, meeting resistance from the God Emperor Q-Plus himself.
So... Let them fight!
How much does that end up actually mattering to the Q idiots?
They always manage to find a way to thread that needle of cognitive dissonance.
When Jeff Sessions was running in Alabama, In the primary against Tommy Tupperville and Trump was just all day every day being like, fuck Jeff Sessions.
He's a dumb piece of shit.
I endorse Tommy Tupperville and you need to vote for Tommy Tupperville.
Because if Jeff Sessions wins this thing, I will just rip my head off and throw it across
the street because I really fucking hate Jeff Sessions.
Everyone in QAnon was just like, oh, that kidder Trump, oh, that rascal East Camp.
He doesn't mean a word of it.
Him and Sessions just got to pretend to be enemies.
And I mean, Trump would have gone to these people's houses and screamed at them how much
he hated Sessions because he really hated Sessions for recusing himself during the Mueller
investigation.
He thought that was a sign of his hatred.
Is that their go-to?
Just like Trump is just joshing?
Yeah.
Oh, whenever...
Whenever Trump defies their narratives, Trump was just joshing becomes the initial play.
The one thing that they can't discern what Trump's hidden angle on is, why is Trump telling us to get the vaccine?
That's the one thing that they have not been able to, uh, suss out yet.
What, what possible inscrutable rubric, what weird code is he speaking when he says we need to go get vaccinated to end the COVID pandemic?
Because he couldn't possibly just mean that because we all know vaccines are murder death.
Someone in his legal team screaming at him every day to not be a vaccine denier.
Oh, and I also think that it's just the fact that he thinks that if he gets credit for the vaccinations ending COVID, that he has a chance of winning in 2024.
And he sees that being the anti-vax candidate is not a good call.
So his lizard brain political instincts are making him go that way.
I actually today saw a QAnon supporter They made the latest attempt to thread the needle on why Trump is pro-vaccine.
And their spin was that Trump is asking us to get vaccinated immediately to prove that the vaccines don't work because the deep state always has the vaccines come in like three, four years later after we've already achieved herd immunity.
Then they can pretend the vaccines gave us herd immunity when they really didn't.
That almost makes sense.
All of these QAnon supporters are too busy picking through the text to figure out secret, decodable messages, while at the same time completely ignoring explicit directives from the people that are supposed to be in charge.
And if that sounds familiar to you, it's because it's Christianity.
What I just described is the Christian playbook.
The Bible is pretty explicit about a lot of stuff, And, uh, you know, people can just sort of pick and choose what they want to buy out of that instead of like, like, you know, when Jesus is just like, hey, man, poor people don't get into heaven.
You got a bunch of these rich ass so-called Christians that they certainly think that when they die, they know where they're going.
But it's like, no, man, your dude told you that that shit don't fly.
If you have more than you need, you should be giving away the rest.
That was his whole deal.
Yeah, the fact that Jesus was a socialist who wanted us to care for each other, and that was the most important thing to him.
That which you do to the least of us, you do to me.
As you just said, a camel has an easier time of going through the eye of a needle than a rich man to get into the kingdom of heaven.
All of these things are Literally spoken by your Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, if you are a Christian.
And yet I can walk through a ye olde shopping mall near my house and see gold layered necklaces that have the face of Jesus Christ in gold on them.
And I'm just like, yeah, I can buy my gold.
I can buy my token to Hell, shaped in Jesus's face for like $500 at this jewelry store.
My shopping mall has a vaccine center and layered faces of Naruto for sale.
Yeah, and for a lot of people, Naruto is Jesus.
So, same thing.
Anyway, but the point is that these QAnon people, they managed to, like, you know, Donald Trump, supposedly the top of the pops, their one guy, is literally telling them, hey, knuckleheads, go get vaccinated.
And instead of just doing that, because he's their guy and the one that they all like, you know, Because they believe in Q, and Q was just servicing Trump.
So Trump is the dude at the top of that totem pole, and it still doesn't matter what he says.
These QAnon people will still refuse the vaccination because they're just like, eh, microchip or whatever, herd immunity, etc, etc.
And it's just like, no, your guy is telling you to do this.
If you're not listening to him, then why should anyone?
Well, here's some startling information.
Everything is a segue to this thing that we've been talking about.
Everything's a segue to this next part.
A study that was conducted that is coming out in a book soon to be released called Pastels and Pedophiles Inside the Mind of QAnon has found that, and I'm paraphrasing a little here, 7 out of 10 QAnon followers Suffer from some form of mental illness.
When they scooped up all the dum-dums from January 6, 68% of them reported to have some form of mental illness.
And this is one of the things that's so scary about QAnon is that it attacks people that are vulnerable, and it offers vulnerable people false hope that things are going to change in a drastic way that they're going to be able to see very shortly.
And when that change doesn't happen, you have a emotionally unstable, mentally unbalanced person who is now In a kind of a crossroads where they don't know what's going on.
It's what happened to that lady who live streamed her arrest and was crying when the cop pulled her over.
And she posted on social media that she had to kill Joe Biden to save the children.
And like all of that kind of stuff that you have people who are not well, and then they're radicalized by this bullshit.
And then when that happens to them and they go off the deep end, they do something bad, then QAnon disowns them.
And it's like, oh no, they were a Deep State plant.
They were an MK Ultra sleeper.
They were paid off by George Soros to make us look bad.
Yeah, I mean, there's no better example than the QAnon Shaman.
That man is the definition of mentally ill, and I want to make it very clear, none of us here at Adventures in Hellworld are making fun of mental illness.
This is one of the more, like, jokes are gone for just a minute here.
Yeah, I was about to say, this is a good, like, I'm gonna steal that so I can segue into this thing, because I too wanted to get serious for a second.
Let's assume that this study is accurate, right?
If we find out that it is scientifically provable that, statistically, 7 out of 10 QAnon supporters are mentally ill in some way, how do we reconcile that as a group of people that are making content that is essentially just sort of dunking on QAnon and everything they're about?
You know, it does, something like this does, like, because, you know, you always, you always, like, sort of, like, make jokes about, like, ah, they're crazy, they're dum-dums, they've got smooth brains and all that shit, but if it turns out that, like, it's not just a large group, like, preying on mentally ill folks, uh, to sort of, like, increase their ranks at the bottom level, but it's just sort of, like, mental illness permeates the whole thing, like, how, like, how do we Sort of feel about that.
I mean, it doesn't make me feel great.
I'm not gonna lie.
But at the same time, it's just like, I feel like, you know, what we're doing isn't really, you know, we're not heroes or anything, but people do need to make content, like, that lets regular folk know that this QAnon shit that they're hearing about on their television is dangerous.
And I'm not sure if there's a way to properly communicate that without sort of, you know, going after the people perpetuating it.
What are your guys' thoughts?
I've always thought of what we're doing as a bit of gallows humor, because a lot of this is not funny, and that's why we have our content warning and so on and so forth.
But I had a close personal friend of mine.
Her family are just conspiracy theorists and Q followers, and any time she brings up stuff they say, I'm like, well, here's the very reasonable counterpoint.
Probably not going to make any difference.
But she says, thank you.
And she's like, I need to know the right thing to tell them, even if they're not going to listen.
And I don't think we're, I think it's important to help vulnerable people.
And a lot of QAnon followers are very vulnerable.
And mental illness is never your fault, but it's also your responsibility.
So Some of it's on them, and some of it's on us.
We're not putting on any capes, and I don't know if we're saving anybody, but I don't think what we're doing is bad, and I like to think it does help, if only a little.
I've always said that I like to view myself as a bouncer in front of one door to a giant building, and that giant building is QAnon, and I'm just at my door trying to keep people out of the building.
I'm like, no, no, no, go away.
And I know there are other doors that people can go to where they can get in, and that's fine, but I'm just trying to stop some people from getting in.
A miracle has happened.
I mean, I've not mentioned it on the podcast recently, but a miracle happened where like four different people over the course of the last year and change have told me that I helped get them out, which is a miracle beyond miracles.
And I am eminently grateful for that.
But I just know how difficult it is to get somebody out of this
movement and how much work that takes.
And really, if you are going to leave any kind of movement like this, you have to make the first
step. Nobody else can tell you that being a neo-Nazi is bad or being like just being a scumbag
of whatever ilk you are, being a men's rights activist, being a racist or whatever it is.
Whatever bad crowd you're running with, you have to make the first
step to be like, I don't want to be a part of this crowd anymore.
I want to leave this community.
And when you do that, I really think that it's important that you receive support and help for that.
And I've always made it clear that if any QAnon supporter ever wanted to message me and be like, Hey, man, like, this is the path I've gone down.
This is what I'm talking about.
I don't know if I should believe in this stuff.
I'll be more than happy to sit there and talk to you online for a little while and just go over it.
Just listen to you.
I'll let you vent.
I'll let you call me a dumb piece of shit and an asshole.
That's fine.
I am.
I am those things, the QAnon supporters.
But on the whole, I'm never going to name and shame some guy with 20 followers and no engagement on social media.
I'm going after the people that are doing this shit to make money off of it.
And if they're not making money off of it, they're making themselves internet famous.
And it means a lot to them to be internet famous, because they won't stop doing it.
They keep promoting it.
So those are the people that if those people themselves are mentally ill, they If they're so deluded that they believe in QAnon whole hog and nothing will dissuade them, then I really don't know what you can do in that situation.
But I just look at folks who are so obviously scamming and You have these like scammer wars going on right now on these different tiny social media platforms that are the only places these people are allowed to be on anymore, where you have people clapping back at each other going, Hey, don't trust that piece of shit.
Only trust me.
Oh no, that guy sucks.
I'm the one who's telling you the truth.
And it's just like, so obvious that these people are fighting for market share and, One of them is posting, literally posting links to physical silver on eBay, on his Telegram account, telling people, hey, great deal on silver here!
And it's just, they're so scummy, and they're obviously using their customers to make a buck off of them.
And because these people exist, I'm just going to segue this and get us out of the ultra-serious corner before we spend too much time on it.
But yeah, segueing out of that, and I think that it's the existence of those people that's going to have me personally circle back to what Sarge said, where it's about protecting the vulnerable, and it is sort of a cold calculus, but when we do what we do, it's sort of weighing Protecting the vulnerable, as in the mentally ill people that happen to be collateral damage when we discuss this QAnon stuff versus the unknowable amount of vulnerable people that are about to get sucked into QAnon.
And if there is a chance that our message reaches those ears, Then that sort of calculus is pretty easy in my book.
Like, if we can stem the bleeding, you know, or like, you know, Mike Raine just said that he had, like, a few people say that he was partially responsible for getting them out.
And it's just like, if even a few people do that, then I think that math is pretty easy for me.
Like, exactly what Mike said, we're not going to be going after anybody that doesn't have juice because the people who have juice are not the ones doing the praying.
It's the people that have the juice that are going after the vulnerable folks that we'd like to protect.
Um, so, but I do think it's important that we address stuff like this, because, like, you know, our audience probably might have this sort of question, right?
Where, you know, if we go on our podcast, we talk about, like, ha ha ha, like, 7 out of 10 cute people are mentally ill, hilarious, right?
And then we just keep, like, running up the scoreboard without addressing it.
You know, we could come off like monsters, and we don't want to.
We understand that, you know, this is a sort of a touchy thing.
Mental illness is, like, still probably understood and, like, certainly not as properly managed as it should be, especially in this country.
And, you know, if our platform ever grows to the point where we have significantly more power or whatever, then, yeah, we'll reassess the way we go about things.
But for now, still funny, like, full steam ahead on funny goofs about QAnon.
And no clean way to segue into the next headline, so I'm just gonna let Sarge take it.
You know, bareback.
Mike, there are two new episodes of the HBO Q doc with its amazing opening that I'm sure, as we said last time, the Q idiots haven't stolen.
But can you run down those two new episodes for us?
I haven't watched them yet.
It is very hard to watch for me.
So the third episode was interesting in the sense that it was really runtime padding.
The one main critique I would give of this documentary series is that it is a bit unfocused even now, although the end of episode four kind of had more focus to it, and I'll get to that at the end.
But It seems to be like they're still going over the whole free speech thing.
And then they're segwaying into the investigation into the identity of Q. And the document, the guy doing the documentary, he is Starting to get kind of into little gimmicks and things where he says something and then they do a flash cut to, he's like, Q is like this kind of person.
Flash cut to Michael Flynn.
Q is also this kind of person.
Flash cut to Jim Watkins.
And they're just kind of doing all these little things.
And then when they bring up, he asks a question of Jim or Ron, and then they will do like a quick rewind to previous times when they asked the same question and got a different answer.
Those guys are the worst actors.
They cannot lie.
They are terrible.
Every time... The... Sorry.
Oh yeah, the director was on Twitter and he said, uh, every time Ron blinks...
Take a sip.
Every time Ron clears his throat, finish your beer.
And someone said I'd be dead before the half of the episode was over because Ron is just constantly blinking and clearing his throat at all times.
So the third episode is kind of all over the place.
It's more free.
What is free speech?
There's this really weird period where it goes, they do a long stretch of the guy committing the, doing the live stream of the murders in Christchurch.
They go for like the first 90 seconds of that video where the guy's just driving in his car, getting ready to commit the murders.
And then when he finally grabs the gun and he goes to start shooting people, that's when the video breaks right before he starts shooting.
But they put gunshots into the audio to let you know what's happening.
And it was just like, ah, Did we really have to go there with this?
I'm really not sure that that needed to be a thing.
I get that they're going into the fact that Christchurch then led to the attack in California, and then the shooting in El Paso, and that was finally the last straw that had Cloudflare discontinue DDoS protection of 8chan and got it depleted.
It just seems like a real sloppy way to illustrate what was happening there.
Cutting the video and then having gunshots in the background.
Just somberly post some text or a news report or something.
Don't get foley work in there.
You're not trying to dramatize the shooting.
I think he's trying to set up to show that after 8chan gets deplatformed, the first thing Ron does when no one's asking is when 8kun is getting stood up and no one can access the site.
No one asks, he goes, oh, this is Q's new trip code.
Just out of nowhere.
I don't... God.
I don't know that that happened.
I assume that's what he's setting up for, because it's just... Well, no, what happened when Abe Kun came back was Q was posting and then they had this whole thing where they were going to rotate Q's trip code and it was a hullabaloo and he ended up confirming his identity with his pen and his watch.
It was a bunch of dumb bullshit.
As me and Frederick Brennan and everyone else has ever said, Q could just get a PGP key or a Bitcoin wallet or a million different ways to verify his identity.
He doesn't need to fucking bust out watches and pens and all this other bullshit.
What happens, so they do this, as Elle was saying, all you have to do is put in B-roll footage of news broadcasts of the Christchurch shooting and just talk about how terrible it was.
You don't have to show us the live stream of this thing and then edit in the gunshots to really let us know what's going on.
And they also show all these uncensored Comments from 8chan celebrating the shooting in Christchurch.
And they're all talking about, using all these racial slurs, talking about killing people and how happy they are.
That this guy is killing minorities that they hate because 8chan is the absolute worst place on fucking earth.
I did love all the, in the, in episode two, they, he asked all the QAnon grifters, they're like, so you get the Q drop straight from 8chan?
And they're, they're all just like, God, no, that's, that place is a cesspit.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, that was... Preying Medic on his QAnon for Beginners guide thing was just like, oh, beginner people do not go to 8chan directly.
Go to one of the aggregating sites, which had to drive the Watkinses insane, their main source of traffic.
Now all the QAnon promoters are like, don't go to the place.
Don't actually go there to read this shit, because you're going to see how bad 8chan actually is.
So it moved from. So they did all that kind of stuff, which was really
weird.
Then there was this one scene, which my God, this guy really wanted this shot and he really cared about
it.
Uh, when Sarge watches this, uh, just try not to fall out of your chair laughing because it's
such a weird shot.
Ron Watkins walks up this mountain with a weird hammer thing.
And when he goes up the mountain with the hammer, he starts swinging it.
And I actually had to go back and just time it out.
They devote 18 seconds straight of just Ron Watkins on top of a mountain, waving a hammer around like an idiot, and there are no less than five camera cuts of different drones flying around, showing Ron Watkins swinging his mighty hammer.
And I was just like, man, I almost wonder if at some point during that whole thing, Ron was like, guys, can I stop swinging the hammer?
And the director was like, no, no, no.
We got two more drone flights.
Keep doing it, Ron.
We really need the hammer swinging.
So the third episode was kind of all over the place.
But the fourth episode finally had something really substantive to the whole Who is Q thing and you can feel the director like really starting to drill Jim and Ron about being Q and how they obviously run Q and all this kind of stuff.
And then while he's talking to Ron, Ron has this one moment where they put the camera down and then Ron just tells the director, oh yeah, by the way, Q is Steve Bannon.
Did you know that?
And the director's like, uh, no.
And Ron's like, oh no, it's Bannon.
I've always known it was Bannon.
And then he breaks out all of this information that he has from the 8-chain administrative
side.
And he's showing IP addresses and he's like, Oh yeah, look, this is all, this is all like,
this IP address is like covers like five houses and one of them is Bannon's
house. And then there's a post from Q in one spot.
And then there's another post from Q that is Michael Avenatti's office.
And the Q2, the two Q drops are like a half hour apart.
And they check where Avenatti's office is.
And it's 22 minutes away from where Bannon lives.
So Bannon could have driven there and taken the photos within that half hour
window. So Ron's just laid it on thick that Bannon is Q.
And then the guy, there's this, the, the,
the show ends on this really weird note where the director's like,
so I decided to fly to Italy to interview Steve Bannon, but he wasn't there.
Waka waka!
And it's like, man, I wish I could take flights to Italy for no fucking reason, with no assurance of a payoff, and then when I get nothing, it's no big deal.
But after he flies to Italy and doesn't interview Bannon, he's like, I was thinking about it, and Steve Bannon fucking hates Michael Flynn.
He thinks Michael Flynn's a dumb piece of shit.
And Q, Q won't stop sucking Michael Flynn's dick.
He thinks Michael Flynn's the greatest human being who's ever lived, aside from Donald Trump.
There are two peas in a pod, Q and Flynn.
So then he was just like, you know, the idea that Bannon's Q was so dumb he would just make it incredibly easy for Code Monkey to out him as Q, that doesn't make any sense.
You know what does make sense is if Code Monkey fed me a bunch of bullshit to get me off the set, that Code Monkey is Q. And that was basically how episode four ended, was the director just becoming even more aggressive in his belief that Ron Watkins is actually Q.
So I thought that was really interesting.
Um, the one problem I'll have with this, I mean, unless episode five or six just literally has some sort of ultimate smoking gun moment where they just nail Ron Watkins as Q. Steve Bannon shows up wearing like Italian leather chaps and it's just like, I'm Q!
I mean, isn't that Michael Flynn's move?
It doesn't, he just like, he just straight out said he was Q, right?
Michael Flynn?
No.
Who am I thinking of?
I don't know who you're thinking of.
Nobody... Austin Steinbart was the guy who claimed he was Q, but the Q that you know is Q in the future!
He is Q in the past!
Uh, but there's no actual, like, mainstream, uh, grifter dirtbag who's actually claiming that they directly are Q. Michael Flynn's the guy doing, like, the Q oath in front of, with his family and all this stuff, and...
And but whenever anyone ever tries to like, like pin him down on on his support of QAnon, he's like, I don't know what you're talking about.
What is Q?
I don't even know if it's a thing.
And Flynn's family just filed a lawsuit, I think against CNN for like $75 million.
for alleging that they're involved in QAnon, which is the most ridiculous lawsuit in the
history of the world. And I'm sure CNN will be thrilled to destroy them in court because
the Flynn family has been neck deep in QAnon this whole time and they fucking know it. So fuck them.
Yeah, make some money.
Yeah, exactly.
So I don't know of any actual member of Team Grifter who's publicly ever claimed any level of that kind of connection to Q. It's all winks and nods from Flynn and Lin Wood and Sidney Powell.
I mean, Sidney Powell was like, back when the Kraken was still a thing, she was on TV saying, it's going to be biblical, which is one of Q's favorite quotes.
So they all know what they're doing.
I mean, they all know what road they're going down in order to communicate to their audience to keep giving us money because we want your money and we think you're suckers who are dumb enough to give us money.
And aren't we all just looking for our suckers to give us money?
Yes.
Yeah, absolutely.
At least all these Q people have found each other, you know?
Silver lining.
I thought you were going to segue into our shilling.
No, we answered the listener questions first.
Speaking of the stupid rubes you want to give us money, we have to do our listener questions.
We have to provide a service to these people before we empty their pockets.
That's the goal here.
Our listeners got questions, we got answers.
It's time for Q and A.
So, first of all, 360secure asks, oh, I got one.
Did anyone know about Ron pulling that frame banning IP address misdirection stunt?
Because that was awesome, and I can't believe Colin Holback, the director, managed to hold onto that for 1.5 years.
The answer is no.
Nobody that I, no one I know of, has ever brought it to my attention that Ron had that bullet in the chamber, ready to fire at Steve Bannon
for whatever fucking reason he decided to pull that shit.
I mean, the biggest insider we would have to that community is Frederick Brennan,
and Frederick never said a word about this to me or anyone that I know of.
So, waiting for the documentary, which again, that was probably filmed...
Has Bannon ever been on the potential EQ radar?
He's been in the gifs because of the fact that he was one of the guys that was stoking Gamergate.
He was the guy that was like using World of Warcraft angry whiny incels as a way to drive traffic to Breitbart and to do that kind of bullshit.
So there was this belief that Bannon understood how to connect to people on the internet to galvanize and motivate them to do dumb shit.
They made a timeline on the show about how Bannon left the Trump White House.
And then two months later, Q started posting.
So that's kind of weird.
And so they mapped out that whole idea.
And the director had said that Bannon was on his list of people that could possibly be Q, because That idea that there is someone in Trump's inner circle who is actually Q and is just using Q exclusively to further help Trump along, basically for his reelection campaign, as it were, that was something a lot of people talked about.
And Dan Scavino is the main guy that was like just absolutely a hardcore QAnon agitator inside the Trump White House the whole time.
I mean, he was posting QAnon memes.
He was getting Trump to post QAnon memes and all that kind of shit.
And Scavino, even now, he posts dumb crap on social media and QAnon reacts to it like it's holy red.
They're like, Oh, what have the oracles told us today?
We must decipher their hidden clues.
I mean, They'll never admit it, but Dan Scavino is basically their biggest hero at this point.
Because again, the rest of these people don't nod and wink at them as aggressively as Scavino does.
He's just posting all kinds of really weird shit.
on the internet. And he just knows it freaks them out. Like he picked he posted a thing of a piece
of glass, a globe of glass that had like frost filling up inside of it. And oh my god, QAnon
went nuts trying to decode what it meant. And it was just like, it doesn't mean anything. You're
When you guys are screaming about symbolism will be their downfall, you don't understand.
You're the ones putting symbolism in the things you're watching and looking at.
You're the ones doing this to yourselves.
I didn't know they lost.
Sorry, go ahead.
I was just going to ask Mike.
Mike, you're a degenerate gambler.
What are the Vegas odds on Bannon as Q?
I'd say he's like probably around eight to one odds.
He's a pretty big long shot.
I think, I mean, especially the way this documentary is working.
I feel like Ron Watkins is probably, you'll probably have to bet like two to win one.
$200 will get you $100 back if you bet Ron at this point.
Because I feel like that's where this is going to end up.
And I feel like when the final two episodes air next weekend, there's going to be a big sort of reaction from the Watkins camp where they're like, Hey guys, we're not Q. This is all bullshit.
And it's gonna be very interesting to see how QAnon reacts to that.
There have been, uh, Some this these last two episodes have had not a great reaction in the QAnon community.
I've seen people talking about how, you know, 4chan was like a shill country.
So why should we have thought that 8chan was anything other than just a CIA front for us to be monitored and tracked?
I mean, There are people on Telegram who are like kind of turning on the Watkinses after these last two episodes got aired.
So I wonder how much further the pendulum can swing against them in the final two episodes.
It'll be very interesting to see what public reaction is.
Well, thanks for the question.
Yeah.
So up next is one of our Grand Inquisitors.
Chairman Walkman asks, did you have childhood dream jobs?
What were they?
I mean, when I was six, I thought I wanted to be a paleontologist.
And then in high school, I thought I wanted to own a comic book store or be a comic book artist.
Neither one of those panned out.
So all your dreams were crushed, Sarge?
That's what you're trying to say?
Yeah, real life.
When did your dream change to becoming an army man?
It was never a dream.
It was more of a practical thing in that they were going to pay for college.
What about you, Alan?
What was the dream?
Around the time I realized that college is very expensive.
You're up next, Mike Rains, because I'm dealing with some hiccups.
I, the childhood dream, I really can't remember that well.
The adolescent dream was a history teacher.
That was my big thing.
I really loved, I loved history.
I still love history.
I could talk your ear off about American history.
Pretty much all that kind of stuff was just so interesting to me.
And also I hate our history books.
Like, the way we teach World War I and World War II in history classes is so aggressively incorrect, and I can't even get into the Civil War because I'm in the North, so I have never actually been exposed to the aggressive propaganda of the Lost Cause and states' rights that I'm in Missouri.
We get both sides.
We are technically the South, but we're on the side of the North.
to it as the war of northern aggression.
No, I'm in Missouri, we get both sides. We are technically the
south. But we're on the side of the north. It. It was very weird.
But yeah, I mean, like, I remember one time I had a history quiz. And the question was just like, why did
America enter World War One? And
And I answered the same thing of the Lusitania.
And after I handed in the test, I was like, you do know that America didn't enter World War I over the Lusitania, right?
To my history teacher.
And he was like, just answer the question.
He was like, he's like, look, this is the reason we tell people it's not because of all the other reasons that happened.
And the thing that's so crazy is that, um, One of the actual, far more, because the Lusitania got sunk like a year before we entered the war.
Can you imagine something happening last year and then you wake up today and be like, that was the day we go to war over this shit!
I mean, it's just, it's so bizarre.
But one of the things that was actually like very relevant at the time that got us into the war was the British leaked a telegram that Germany sent to Mexico.
Hey, Mexico, if you guys declare war on America and tie them up a little bit, after we finish off France and Britain and win this thing, we'll help you reconquer the American South.
We'll get you back Texas and California, the Reconquista.
Like, that was something that kind of pissed America off when that was revealed.
I mean, Britain did play that as kind of like an ace in the hole.
It was kind of like a move they waited for when they would get optimal impact from the American public.
But that was something that was far more relevant at the time.
But I mean... A little World War I history history corner here in the... Right, exactly!
Back there in the episode.
Mike, do you listen to hardcore history?
Uh, no.
I haven't actually.
I probably should do so.
Oh, he does like six hours on World War I. Oh, I love that shit.
I would have to listen to it at like 1.75 speed or whatever in order to get through six hours, but I could totally do it.
I mean, we all made it through four hours of Snyder Cut.
I think you could make it through six hours of World War I stuff, especially if it's in your wheelhouse.
One thing about Snyder Cut was when Cyborg ran in that touchdown, that's the montage they always do for quarterbacks.
I just want us to one time see a montage with the quarterback actually throwing a fucking pass.
Yeah, I mean, oh man, dude.
And even running it in, he was just like the champion god-king of football.
And like every heroic football scene is like that.
It's like every stupid poker scene where, like, It's not anybody outplaying the other person, it's just always the world's craziest cooler.
Like, oh, you think you're fucking straight as hot shit?
Well, I rivered a boat, or whatever, and it's just like, oh, such techful play!
Totally rivering the nuts on this guy!
What an accomplished poker player!
James Bond, take me now!
Oh yeah, I love that. There's nothing I enjoy more than the fact that all fucking television
poker is just cooler hands. It's just like, oh my god, that hand from rounders, like what,
nuts in the second nuts? Oh my god, how could anyone have foreseen that?
He's paying me with my own money.
Oh, oh.
But yeah, so then fucking, you have Cyborg and it's just like Cyborg, star quarterback.
He decides to keep it.
He stiff-arms a guy.
He shoulder-checks another guy.
Now I think that player is dead.
Oh my god, jumps 12 feet over the final and ties for the touchdown!
He got there!
He is the world's greatest athlete!
Yeah, it's so ridiculous.
I just once want the quarterback in the montage to just avoid a couple guys trying to sack him, and then he sees a guy in the corner of the end zone and just drops a dime to him for the game-winning score.
Or he just fucking does the Tom Brady.
He receives the snap, he plants his feet in the pocket, and he just fucking fires a quick rocket to score the touchdown.
The world's most- I mean, it was Zack Snyder!
He's gonna fucking slow-mo it anyway.
He could make anything look dramatic.
But just communicate to us that he was good at quarterbacking because he just had a quick release.
That football just spiraling perfectly through the air, just hitting raindrops one by one, just ding, ding, ding.
Yeah, oh, any of that!
Any of that!
And the receiver, full extension, ball, place where only he can catch it, just bam.
All of that.
Just do that.
I don't need to see the 100th quarterback running into the end zone, breaking six tackles.
It's like... We have running backs for that.
There's another position in the sport that plays that.
So, Al, you wanted to be a movie critic when you grew up?
Is that... Oh, right, I forgot about this question.
I don't actually remember what I wanted to do when I was a little kid, but once I got into high school, I had high-minded ideas about either doing theater or writing for a living, and my dreams of both of those things were dashed when I had to just enter the workforce at 18, so I didn't get a higher education.
And then as a younger adult, I also fell in love with the idea of owning a comic book store, or more accurately in my case, a hobby shop.
I always sort of wanted to be the dude behind the counter in my own store, helping people play Magic and D&D and all the shit that I love.
And honestly, I still, if I had to pick one realistic dream, that would still be it.
I mean, now as a more jaded adult, my dream is to Win a lottery that I don't play and just accumulate a vast sum of money doing nothing and then just sort of like retire at age 37, like buy a sensible house someplace and just never have to work again.
So that way I can do all the writing and acting I want to, but I don't have to worry about paying bills.
Own an electric car.
And I guess failing that, there's always the backup answer of the podcast lottery, where I produce a podcast that I hope gets popular enough that I never have to work real jobs again.
Wouldn't that be something?
Especially now that the Rona is almost done and touring is a thing again.
It's like yeah, let's build a base and take the show on the road.
Talk to us Joe Rogan.
Reach out Joe Rogan.
I apologize for all the negative things I've said about you in print and recordings.
Oh, if I ever talk to Joe Rogan, the entire conversation would just be about how he's totally wrong about Alex Jones and how Alex Jones is a colossal piece of shit.
And because Joe, in all of his interviews, is so incredibly spineless, he would just basically let me shit-talk Alex for like three hours, and then the next episode would be Alex Jones telling him what a piece of shit I am, and Joe would just agree with Alex also.
See, I hope that Joe Rogan ever reaches out because he heard this podcast and wants to talk to us, because if I, genuinely, if I ever had a chance to sit down and talk to Joe Rogan, I totally would, but I don't think I would ever bring up Q. I want to talk to that dude about taking hallucinogens and going into a sensory deprivation chamber, because that sounds awesome.
That would be just great, just like all three of us do solos, two shots on Joe Rogan.
Yeah, we're happy to come on, but can we talk about our own thing?
Because it's just like, I'd much rather talk to you about getting high in a sensory deprivation chamber than any of this QAnon bullshit.
I just want to talk to him about Newsweek and like, or no, not Newsweek.
God, Newsradio.
Newsradio, thank you.
Newsweek is much worse.
Hey, was Phil Hartman cool before Andy Dick killed him?
Was Andy Dick cool?
Was Andy Dick cool before he supplied the cocaine that made Phil Hartman's wife kill him?
Anyway, but before we get on this news radio tangent, if we have other questions, we should just move on.
If we don't have any other questions, then by all means, let's talk about news radio for a while.
No, we do have a few more questions.
Podcast, news radio, radio, boom!
I will reveal that I missed my softball transition earlier because I was looking up for a podcast in a podcast joke because I couldn't remember John Leguizamo's name.
Much like Bruce Banner and the Hulk, do you know what my secret is?
I never look shit up.
Punches.
I know you don't.
It infuriates me.
Hey man, we all have our talents.
Yes.
Anyway, thanks for the question, Grand Inquisitor, whichever one that was.
Chairman Walkman.
Chairman Walkman, there we go.
You get an actual shout-out.
Yes, so Nark asks, so what is Mike the Pillow Guy's legal theory behind the U.S.
Constitution that Trump will retake office in August?
Is there some kind of sobsit background to that, or is he just back on the drugs that he enjoyed so much before he got clean?
The answer to this is it's just total insanity.
He has no actual legal basis for this.
He and the Overstock guy are kind of working this one-two punch of madness where they both claim that at some ill-defying point in the very near future they are going to release blockbuster documentaries exposing all the corruption That kept, that got Biden into office and took Trump out of office.
And Mike Lindell, the MyPillow guy has said that basically they're going to give the Supreme Court smoking gun evidence of election fraud.
The Supreme Court will rule 9-0 in their favor that the election was fraudulent.
And it's at that moment that he does the whole South Park underpants gnomes thing where Supreme Court rules 9-0 in our favor.
Question marks?
Trump is president!
So exactly how, what the legal mechanism is for election fraud revealed now Trump is the winner because reasons.
He has not explained that, but he is very confident that Trump will be the president in August because that's a five month deadline so he can just gin people up with bullshit.
How confident is he?
Do you suppose?
Yeah, his public persona is that of endless confidence.
100% assured victory.
Do you think that as a group, so like officially, the Adventures in Hellworld, do you think that he's so confident that we could challenge him to a bet and just be like, if you believe it so goddamn much, put your fucking MyPillow company on the line.
We'll make your goddamn pillows from here on out.
It'll be our pillow!
I would love to... I would love to do anything like that.
I would love to bet that guy... You've got the Twitter juice.
Go ahead and make it happen.
Call him out.
Name it to your pillow.
No, we nickname it to our pillow.
Our pillow.
We rename it Q-Pillow, which would make even more money off those people.
We just go whole hog on it.
Same thing as the Adventures in Hellworld gimmick.
We just keep it my pillow, but change the O for a Q.
Yes, perfect!
It's absolutely what we're doing.
With our new suck it line.
Right.
Suck it.
I just, I want to bet that guy a hundred bucks, anything.
I want any QAnon promoter who was willing to wager money against me that Trump will be president by the end of the year.
I will give you whatever odds you want.
10 to 1, 20 to 1, I don't care.
Make a bet with me, you fucking cowards, because none of you will, because none of you will be willing to lose even $5 to me.
And if anyone ever wanted to say, oh, it's uncouth to make a bet, it's not moral, then you pick the dumb charity you want, I'll pick love146.org, and the winner gives the money to the charity, so whatever.
But I mean, it's just...
Put your money where your mouth is.
Book your charity.
I want a pillow company.
Oh, I want a pillow company too, but again... I want a company that will donate a lot to charity.
Please get us a pillow company.
Yeah, we'll sell to somebody else eventually so that they can, like, we can make a little money on the side and donate some money to charity, but mostly I just want... We'll sell it to David Hogg.
I want to own a pillow company for a day so I can fucking prance about it like Willy Wonka style and just like, you know, just tell the floor people and just be like, you!
Assemble 300 pillows in a pile here so that I may jump upon them.
And finally, TraplordFlecko asks two questions.
One is, did you see Ron shopping for his dumb hat on the HBO thing?
Yes, that was incredible.
Oh my god, they have footage of him shopping for the Wagyu hat?
Yes, he shops for the Wagyu hat.
Way to fucking bury the lead, friend.
Oh my god.
I've never been more interested in this Q duck.
Since I saw this question, I wanted to wait to answer this question here in this spot.
Oh, this will be a good time for my new proposal.
If Rob Watkins wants to keep dressing up like a stupid cowboy, I suggest that we nickname him Lil Nas Q.
Oh my god, we didn't even cover Q-9 freaking out over his stupid Satan music video in Satan shoes.
Oh yeah, we never talked about the blatant Illuminati messaging and Lil Nas X fucking and then murdering Satan or whatever.
I still haven't seen the video, but... I mean, I don't care.
If he wants to receive Satan's red rod, that's on him.
That's between him, Satan, and God, I guess.
Yes.
And finally, the second question is, do you think that Ron acts like an anime villain on purpose, or is that just how he is?
I think once Ron figured out he was going to be one of the main characters of this documentary, and he was just constantly getting interviewed by this guy, Once he figured out he was getting some run time, he decided to just lean into it way too hard.
So I think... I mean, I feel like, personally, I think the answer is both, right?
I mean, I've been to enough Magic tournaments at enough different card stores to know that there is one of these guys Uh, and notice how I didn't bother to be, like, woke and, like, you know, say people instead of guys, because they are almost always, in fact, in my opinion, or in my experience, always dudes.
There's one of these guys at every one of these shops.
These people that, like, their persona is, like, that of, like, the cool, that, like, probably directly taken from their favorite anime or comic book, like, cool sort of, like, You know, hard-ass, like, villainous, like, you know, they just sort of think they're hot shit and they've got that, like, faux veneer of confidence.
But just because they know that that's sort of, like, a thing that they're doing doesn't make that any less of them.
Inside, they think that they're that.
And then outside, they try to present that.
But all the stuff in the middle is usually just, like, an insecure weenus.
And the problem is that most people get through the outer layer, see the inner layer, and they never dig deep into the secret villain within.
Most people at your local card store do not start an internet cult.
I feel like Ron stumbled into that.
I mean, the early episodes, they did a lot of rehashing in the third episode.
They went back over the whole thing where Q left the board that Paul Ferber was on and gone to the new board and all that kind of stuff.
And Paul Ferber's like, the new Q is bullshit.
We all know it.
And so that was whatever.
But I mean, I feel like Ron...
Just kind of saw this goldmine of this Q thing, and he thought, well, this will be easy.
And then, I mean, it's so, they do bring up that, like, later Q writes much differently than early Q, and that probably it's two different writers.
And just, just the fact that you had early, like, I mean, we know we talked about Joker Q and, I mean, Penguin Q and Riddler Q a lot, but Late, early Q is powerful Q. He's like a titan of the world.
He's collapsing North Korean nuclear test sites.
He's watching Barack Obama on spy satellites and mocking him as he runs around looking for someone to protect him from the patriots coming to arrest him.
He's telling Hillary to pound sand when she begs him for a plea deal.
And then Q in like 2019 and 2020 is like, Hey guys, check out Andy tomorrow night.
Trump's going to do an interview.
And it's just, you go from a powerful striding the halls of Congress and the inner circle of Donald Trump Q to Q that watches Fox News and thinks Tucker's pretty cool.
And it's just that, Massive shift in the nature of the character is, like, so obvious, and it just shows that, like, at some point the guy writing Q got incredibly lazy and just didn't want a world to build or actually put in any effort in the character.
Guy or guys writing for the original Q. Again, I sort of have it pegged as multiple writers from, like, pretty much the jump.
Yeah.
But that's just one man's theory, and that man is me, and my theory is totally right because I'm an expert.
Oh, there was some guy at my work who had a shirt that said, rule number one, I'm right, and the back of his shirt said, rule two, see rule one.
So, I mean, hey.
Wow, so clever.
Oh, man, I dream of living in a world where I have the, like, confidence, in a post-corona world, of course, where I have a confidence to, like, see that guy from the back and then just, like, Take off running and just like very obviously like get in front of them and like block them so they can read a shirt and just be like, oh, just follow the instructions on the back of your shirt.
See, everybody dunks on flash mobs because they were popular for a little while with white people and they were kind of dumb and whatever, but you could use a flash mob in this instance to do good work if you just got a bunch of people to do that.
Like, this guy cannot walk down the street without somebody charging up from behind him to look at the front of his shirt and then just be like, oh thank god.
Oh, I really needed that.
That was bothering me.
And then, like, I just want that as this guy walks down, like, three city blocks.
Just, like, constantly being harassed by people on the street.
But, you know, not touched physically or anything.
Just stopped briefly while people read his shirt.
Because he's inviting it.
Yes.
He's earned every crumb of Elle's Ridicule and Scorn and Flash Mobbery.
I mean, who the fuck wears a shirt like that?
Like, if it's a joke, it's not funny.
And if it's your honest opinion, like, you're clearly an asshole.
And maybe one of those guys at a magic card shop that I was talking about earlier.
Magic card shops.
Yes.
Places that we love going and that I would honestly like to own, but at the same time, I'm not stupid or blind.
I understand that there are problems in this community.
I mentioned this a few days ago.
Someone spotted me.
They called me out for going to Magic tournaments 20 years ago in the Boston area.
And I was just like, yep, that's me.
You have pegged me.
And now I'm dealing poker to you.
They're like, hey, didn't you fail to recur that weaver that one time?
And you're just like, no, that's a way down person.
I'm not calling out no names.
Thank God that wasn't me.
If I was the one who didn't recur the weaver, I would never live it down.
And I made sure that man never lives it down every day.
Didn't you lose your own blood moon?
That would be incredible.
Me?
No.
I'm talking about a different person.
Oh, okay.
Now I remember that anecdote.
Okay, this conversation is getting way too Inside Baseball and niche for even our audience, so I'm going to call it here.
Before it becomes an unsuccessful episode of The Adventures in Hellworld, I'm going to call it another successful episode of The Adventures in Hellworld.
Thank you everybody for listening.
We appreciate your support.
If you'd like to continue to support us, the easiest, cheapest, freest way to do that is to just tell a friend, like the podcast, give us a rating if you want, just go ahead and jam that five star, or you know, rate it appropriately for your actual taste.
But if you're Just totally, you know, apathetic towards what actual rating you give us.
Why not make it five stars?
If you want to support us in a little more tangible manner, if you'd like to tip your dealer, so to speak, you can do so by visiting Patreon at Poker & Politics and go ahead and donating to the cause to help us upgrade our equipment and all that happy horse shit.
If you have access to money that is disposable, but you don't want to give it to us for whatever reason, maybe because we talked too much about the Smurfs, you can go ahead and donate it to love146.org.
They are helping to, you know, do the good anti-child trafficking work that Q claims that they're into, but, you know, don't really do very much about.
And, in Matt Gaetz's case, which is the actual opposite, I mean...
Maybe she's not in a shipping container, but taking a 17-year-old girl across state lines and paying for a bill to have sex with her?
I mean, it sounds like trafficking to me.
If I did that with some weed, I would get arrested.
So let's just say that that's bad.
Also, if you happen to like hearing the dulcet tones of the people currently coming through your speakers, it turns out that Sarge and I now do a weekly pop culture podcast called BINGEWORDY.
B-I-N-G-E-W-O-R-D-Y.
BINGEWORDY.
So you can go ahead and check that out if you'd like to.
Speaking of checking stuff out online, you can find us all on social media.
We want to give a special shout out to DJ Minimal Effort for providing our intro song, and to Vio Frosty, who you can find at Twitter at Vio Frosty, for our bumps and our content warning.
So, once again, signing off after another successful episode for Mike Rains and Sarge, I am HellWorldL.
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