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Jan. 20, 2021 - Adventures in HellwQrld
01:32:37
Adventures In HellwQrld Episode 18: Biden's in and Q is out.

Biden's sworn in as President and the flailing and screaming of QAnon begins in earnest. How are they reacting to reality's cruel intrusion? Find out here. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Time Text
Hello, everybody, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld.
I am your host, Poker and Politics, a.k.a.
Mike Rains, and I am joined by the man who is more military than Major Dad and a better photographer than Martin Geddes, Sir.
Thank you.
You made me almost forget my standard intro of hello from the internet.
I'll take those compliments.
And the mysterious Al.
Happy Inauguration Day, my beautiful babies!
Uh, yes.
So today is Inauguration Day, which, um, was supposed to be the last gasp from QAnon, and, uh, well, looks like they're not gasping that much.
So, uh, before we get into all that hooting and hollering and, uh, the nightmare mind of QAnon, we have to warn you that QAnon is awful and terrible, and that we have to talk about terrible things.
The Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in depth about QAnon, which means we have to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people.
Listener discretion advised.
And now that that's out of the way and you know about the terrible things we're going to be engaging in, we also would like to mention that if you like to support what we're doing, you can go to patreon.com slash poker and politics and send a few, send a few dollars our way to keep the train moving as it were.
And if the three of us chuckleheads are not worthy of your money, please send money to love146.org.
They are an anti-human trafficking organization that actually does the quote, unquote, save the children thing that QAnon likes to talk about.
But after you listen to them talk about saving the children for five minutes, they start talking about 5G and Bill Gates' death ray vaccine and all that other good stuff, which is, you know, kind of nonsense and not very children-savvy, as it were.
So, having said all of that, today, pretty crazy day, as it were.
Do we just play the Cues and News Bumper and get rolling on this?
I mean, it seems kind of appropriate.
Yeah, I mean, I feel like our audience will probably forgive us if we do our normal goofing inside the news segment and not just be completely professional like we normally are.
Oh, yes.
Someday we'll get back to cue drops.
Someday the professionalism will return, but today is probably not that day.
What's everyone's favorite death cult spin-off to this past week?
It's time for Q's in the News!
Who the fuck knows if we actually will ever get back to doing Q drops?
I mean, so, like, considering it's Inauguration Day and Biden's ass is in the chair and he's going to start signing documents and all that good shit, it's like, at this point, our Poor Adventures in Hellworld podcast is at a crossroads.
We're sort of like in the breeze.
We don't know if we're going to be, like, A contemporary like bleeding edge of conservative madness podcast.
So if we're just going to end up turning into this weird doomsday cult autopsy podcast.
Uh, like a little behind the curtain when Mike originally started talking to Elle and me, uh, about the podcast.
And I was like, Oh, I've wanted to talk about conspiracy theories and conspiracy thought for a long time.
And Mike was like, Oh, we're going to, we're going to focus on Q. And I was like, it's smart.
We should have a, like a good focus.
And then I saw how crazy the Q drops were.
And I was like, Oh, there's, there's so much material here.
And there's so much to dive into.
Uh, not realizing how boring some of them were, but.
Then, like, I was genuinely surprised when, uh, now President Biden won the election, um, and Q just stopped posting!
Yeah, and Q just fell off the face of the fucking earth on, like, you know, if you, if you count the We're Not Gonna Take It video link as a Q drop, he's been gone for just under two months, and, uh, if you don't, then it's been more than two months.
Seems pretty obvious to anybody who's paying close enough attention that as soon as the results of the election came in, whoever was the man behind that curtain was like, I'm just going to mosey on out of here.
Oh, look at the time.
Look at the time.
Oh, my kid is sick and then just runs off.
Yeah, I mean, my favorite thing is that you look at all of these reactions from all these major QAnon promoters who are ripping their hair out, because so many of them had bought into it themselves, or at the very least their public face is that they are a believer who is in it to win it, and they can't let that go because it would ruin their brand.
So you have all these other QAnon promoters who are just losing their shit.
They're just freaking out.
They're trying to find a pathway forward to keep their audience placated and to keep the likes and money and YouTube views coming.
And then Ron Watkins, like, makes a post on Telegram where he's like, Hey guys, we tried.
Biden got in.
Thumbs the brakes.
Check out my new project.
Deuces!
And it's just like, fuck you, Ron Watkins.
You are literally the guy.
Who at one point in this whole thing, uh, Q had to change his trip code and people were like, uh, who's Q?
And Ron Watkins had to dip in and be like, hey guys, uh, the guy with this trip code is the actual Q. Uh, go back to LARPing, have fun.
So... They called it GM.
They were just like, we're confused as to who's playing this NPC.
Yes.
Yes.
Perfect.
Yeah, the GM had to confirm that the Q monster was actually the Q monster and that everything was cool.
So like that guy, the guy who was running 8chan and 8kun and basically got to dictate if Q was allowed to post on his servers or not, that's the guy who just literally said, man, you know what?
These things happen.
I'm moving on.
I'll see y'all later.
Have a good one.
All right, Mike.
Concise as possible, I've wanted to ask this question for a while.
And if we've already covered it, like, stop me here.
Why did Q move from 4chan to 8coon?
And I know 8chan became 8coon because of, like, CP, right?
But why did Q get kicked off of 4chan?
Q left 4chan.
He just, like, one day started posting on 8chan and said that 4chan was compromised.
He never, like, actually explained why he was making the move.
I mean, I can interject here as somebody who literally knows nothing about these places other than the size of their user base.
It was signal versus noise.
Like, you couldn't really get a thing to pop off the way he wanted it.
Like, he seemed like he wanted this Q thing to pop off on 4chan because there's just, like, too many users posting too much child porn or whatever.
Yeah.
So we moved from 4chan to 8chan.
And the other thing is that on 4chan, at that time at least, there was no trip codes.
There was no verification to it.
Oh, okay.
It was proprietary.
Maintaining the brand of Q, as it were, was important.
We went through these early drops, and you know a lot of them aren't signed Q.
There are some people who will say, like, the early drops aren't really Q, or the ones that weren't signed by Q aren't really him.
And then there are people who are like, all of 4chan Q is a lie, and only 8chan Q is true.
So there's, like, all these kinds of dumb little splinters in the movement.
But then the shift to 8-Kun was just him waiting out 8-Chan being deplatformed.
And it wasn't child porn that caused all that.
That was all the mass shootings and the manifestos that kept getting written on 8-Chan.
Like, there were three different mass shootings where a manifesto got posted on 8-Chan.
Yeah, well, one of them was the El Paso thing, right?
The El Paso thing, where they had to drop the manifesto on 8-Kun or whatever?
I'm glad I asked this, but what a... God.
God, it just makes me sick to my stomach.
After the third manifesto got posted on HN after a mass shooting, it was like Christchurch, El Paso, then one other, that finally the people that were protecting them from DDoS attacks Was like we're now giving up on your protection services and immediately like the hackers just like shut down 8chan because fuck them.
Hey, our rambling managed to circle back to some actual topical news content because something similar recently happened to Parler that you know when they got they got cut loose and they were trying to find hosting and then they found it in Mother Russia!
Yeah!
Oh yeah, yeah.
Real patriots go to fuckin' Russia when they want to defend America.
That's always been true.
I mean, Parler went to Russia, and then the true patriot, that lady who broke into Nancy Pelosi's office and stole her laptop, tried to sell it to Russia.
Yeah, you may host your platform here, but we are going to monitor it.
Like, holy shit.
Boy howdy, if they thought that they may have been compromised fucking posting that shit in America, imagine how disappointed they're going to be when they find out exactly how much of Putin's finger they have decided to receive up their bum.
Oh my god, yeah, the idea that you are going to be You had to send them your driver's license and like your other personal information to get verified on Parler.
And now Russian servers have your driver's license and like other personal information.
They may even have their social security numbers.
So it's like, I hope you... Oh my god, imagine the fever dream of the next election, and this time around it's the liberals fucking talking about the secret Russian servers with all the incriminating dirt on the conservatives.
But this time, it's true!
Oh, that'd be so great.
Yeah, I mean, yeah, it's so ridiculous that like... Hashtag, really?
DTape.
Hey, it's live!
I mean, it's live.
I don't know, I don't know what we'll do.
If the pee tape ever comes out, like, we'll have to, like, I'll put on a mask and we can livestream watching it on whatever platform would have us.
I knew you weren't going to say it, but for a second I hoped you were going to be like, I'll put on a mask, I'll put a mask on and get peed on.
I was like, wow, Sarge is really excited about the existence of the pee tape.
Oh man.
We're going to do a live reenactment of it.
It's going to be great.
It's going to be like the Ice Bucket Challenge, but for a different cause, I guess.
The Golden Shower Challenge?
The shucking and jiving Trump and what's left of the GOP or the Patriot Party will have to do if the pee tape ever comes out?
Oh my god.
It's Christmas.
Yellow Christmas.
Yellow Christmas?
Oh my god.
That's what comes after Red October, right?
Yes, Red October leads to Yellow Christmas.
Oh my god.
With Beige November in the middle.
Yellow Christmas, there's our first merch.
Yes.
Oh, man.
First, we have so much merch at the kitty already, but we put a raisin on it, and fucking Stormwave, and Wavestorm.
The interdependent Stormwave vs. Wavestorm rages on in my heart.
Wavestorm sounds like a transformer.
Yes.
Is that a problem?
What are you trying to tell me, little man?
You don't like transformers?
Wavestorm, the racist, conspiracy-minded transformer.
Check out my 1776 protocols, says Wavestorm.
What does Wavestorm turn into?
A bump stock.
Yes.
Yes.
I was trying too hard, that's why I pitched it to you.
I was like, God, what is it?
The new modern Megatron will turn into an assault rifle, and then Wavestorm turns into a bump stock to make him extra lethal.
She's like, I need to have Wavestorm around, otherwise how am I supposed to defend my family?
She's like, how many shots per minute do you need to defend your family, dawg?
Oh god, yeah, it's so ridiculous.
So, I could bring this back.
Ghislaine Maxwell had a kind of an impromptu livestream.
Did you see this?
No, I had not seen it.
So they were going through a hearing for her to decide what documents in her court case would be unsealed.
Because the right now the debate is on like, everything to prosecute her involving her massive child sex crimes.
They are declassifying so everyone can see it, but they're keeping sealed all the records on her.
This is what this hearing was debating.
They're keeping sealed everything involving her personal sex life with consenting adults, not all the child sex.
Illegal, illegal child sex.
But in the middle of this hearing... As opposed to that extra legal child sex that we talk about so often on the podcast?
It depends on what country you're in.
I feel like it's... I keep derailing you by having the scales fall out of my eyes at the horror of the world.
So in the middle of this...
This court hearing over Zoom or whatever web service they were using, the court reporter turns to the judge and goes, someone involved in this is live streaming this on YouTube.
And 14,000 QAnon followers were in this YouTube live stream demanding to save our children, free our children now.
And they kept mentioning Popcorn Day, which I'm going to need some explanation for.
I mean it shouldn't be any surprise that 14,000 QAnon people piled into a live stream featuring Giselle Maxwell or whatever because I'm gonna go ahead and assume about 50 of those people just heard that name and live stream and thought they were getting some of that CP that they crave.
I've always said this and I don't think I can get in trouble for saying it because I'm not saying any specific person but you know I think a lot I think a lot of these QAnon people protest a little too much if you know what I'm saying.
Oh, absolutely on that front.
There's a lot of projection in this movement.
It's like how all of these virulent preachers who hate homosexuality always end up getting caught with a male prostitute at some point in their lives.
It's just like... A male prostitute if we're lucky?
Yes.
At least that is in theory another consenting adult just doing sex work.
I mean, like, a lot of the time they're caught fucking, you know, behind the pews with, like, one or more of their flock getting their flock on.
Yeah, but like, Popcorn Day was a big QAnon thing because It's the mantra of enjoy the show, you're watching a movie, so they have all these memes of like Pepe's eating popcorn.
Oh.
And they love it.
Why didn't you tell us this earlier, Mike?
How fucking dare you?
We could have been selling Q-braided popcorn this whole time.
At like movie theater markup prices.
We could have taken like regular Jiffy Pop and just like screen printed like a Q on it and sold it for like eight dollars a bag.
I didn't know I could be more disappointed in Q and QAnon, but here I am.
It's just Sims saying they're going to eat popcorn while the storm's happening and enjoy their show?
Yep, it really is.
And January 19th is National Popcorn Day.
That is the official holiday of January 19th.
And it just so happens that January 19th directly precedes January 20th, which is when presidents get sworn in in America.
So QAnon thought this was like some sort of like awesome coinkydink where, of course, popcorn on the 19th and then Trump gets in on the 20th.
Oh, so today was new popcorn day, right?
And it all happened?
Yeah, so today was we're out of popcorn, now it's time to watch the president get sworn in.
Oh my God, it's actually Biden and not Trump.
What the hell?
Oh my God!
Oh my God!
It's Joe Biden!
Joe Biden charges to the ring.
It was amazing how little storm-waving was happening today.
Almost as if all of Q's predictions were always easily debunked and never going to come true.
Yeah, almost as if... How many National Guard are there standing guard over the legally elected president? 10,000.
My favorite little moment in all of this, right before the inauguration, is as I'm watching all these different feeds of QAnon chucklepucks ruining themselves.
There's this one guy, Truthhammer, who's been banned from Twitter a million times, and he was on Telegram.
Yeah, I love their names.
Their names are just so ridiculous.
Every time I hear a QAnon grifter's name, all I can think of is the scene from Guardian of the Galaxy 2 where Rocket is just laughing at Taserface, the guy who thinks his name is badass that he made up.
My favorite is probably that praying medic goober, because when I read his name, I imagine being on a battlefield, and a shell just went off next to you, and your guts are spilling out.
And then this guy runs over, and he kneels next to you, and he pulls out his medical bag.
And you're like, oh, thank god, a medic's here.
And then he opens up his bag, and it's just some holy water and a Bible.
And he's just like, oh, Heavenly Father, who art in heaven, please put this person's guts inside their body.
And you're just like, no!
I need the medic part!
I need you to put these guts inside my body with science!
The Lord has this one.
I only ever yelled at Tombstone.
So like, in movie fashion, I only ever yelled medic once.
I was standing road guard during the morning run, where they closed down the main road and the base, and everyone runs up and down it, and this guy collapsed right in front of me.
I was just like, medic!
And right then a whole unit, like literally 30 guys goes, yes.
And they all just turned at once and it was a medic unit doing their morning run.
And they all just 30 guys just peeled off and came over and they're like, Oh,
we love this.
None of them prayed over the guy.
I still think about that to this day.
I was like, why did I yell medic?
You were trained to by movies.
Yeah.
The thing that, as a quick aside to Prang Medic, before I go back to Mr. Truthhammer,
or honestly, Buzzsaw, or whatever we want to call him, one of Prang Medic's origin stories
is that he believes that he literally had the ability to bring people back from the
dead when he was an EMT.
So like if you were in the back of the ambulance and you were in not good shape, like his touch could literally bring you back from the brink.
He could make you walk away from the light and back to humanity, but he would literally, he would talk to God before he did it because he didn't want to bring someone back if they didn't deserve it, if they weren't worthy of his powerful gift.
He's just like, dear God, what should I do?
And God's just like, give him that adrenaline, bro.
And he's like, cool.
And then he injects them with the adrenaline that saves their life.
And he's just like, you have God to thank for that.
And it's like, didn't you do training?
And he's just like, no.
God told me to become a medic, and when I told them that at the hospital, they were like, well if God said it, I mean, fucking strap in.
L, what's the challenge rating roll on that?
This is a cleric spell, right?
Cleric spell to do what?
Bring people back from the dead?
Yeah.
If you still have their body, like I'm assuming you're doing in the back of an ambulance, it would be, if it's within ten minutes, it would be like a third or fourth level spell.
I can't remember.
But usually raised dead I think is fifth.
Oh, so praying medic's a high level.
He's... Well, revivify, I believe, is third or fourth.
I can't remember off the top of my head because I don't use it very often, but revivify is a thing and it's slightly less, but you have to get, you have to have their body, you have to get with them within 10 minutes.
God has to say it's cool.
Yeah, so he's describing his cleric spells.
Yes.
He also had a story about how he got rid of some guy's headache at a supermarket or something.
He was hanging out with his kid.
Was he a paraphernalia?
I have no idea.
He has a lot of very weird stories in his life as a Huckster snake oil salesman.
Before he became a huckster, QAnon, decoder, grifter, dirtbag.
Yeah, but before he was praying medic, he was the humble Gregory House.
Yes, exactly, exactly.
So, uh, anyways, TruthHammer, it was awesome watching this and reading this fucking shit this guy was posting, because he was posting this, like, whole yarn about how, uh, the military had to wait until exactly noon To cuff and stuff Biden because Trump would then be out of office and there wouldn't be a legal president in that tiny window of time.
And it was in that moment that the Joint Chiefs of Staff could strike and they could take down Biden and Harris and the Obamas and everybody else.
And the best part about this was, is he was posting this shit at like 1140 or 1130, but it was like, it was within like a half hour window of when things were going to happen.
So he, so after he said all of this shit, where he mapped out all of this stuff in agonizing detail, he immediately backpedaled and was like, now I'm not saying this is going to happen, but I'm just saying, because it's really hard to own your shit and like give your spicy hot take when you know you're going to get called out on it in like 20 minutes.
You know that it's gonna look really bad for you when your prediction is going to fail in practical real time.
So you gotta be like, hey, disclaimer, disclaimer, I didn't call this.
Like, I'm just saying if this happens, I was right, but if it doesn't happen, I wasn't wrong.
Respect is not the right word, so let's just say that I appreciate the Q people that as soon as the jig was up just went to their stupid message boards and were just like, well, I guess the jig is up and we got fuckin' heckin' bamboozled, so it's been a fun ride, everyone, but Q was obviously bullshit, and then having them be dogpiled on true believers that are just like, you just don't know the secret truth!
Wait until the day of blood is upon us!
Yeah, I mean, that's going on right now.
That is, like, kind of the battle that's being waged by these clowns.
We're seeing the splintering happen that we, like, thought out earlier.
Not thought out, God.
But yeah, that we, like, projected one of the theories of, like, what would happen to Q. The splintering starting to happen.
Yeah, I mean, you have the true believers who are just not going to let go of Trump.
I'm seeing people talking about like how, did you see how happy the Trumps were when they left?
It was like, no, they weren't.
They were actually kind of miserable.
They didn't look great at all.
And they're like, yeah, the Trumps were like happy when they were leaving office.
You could tell they know something's going on.
It's all going to work out.
And then you have like kind of like the middle ground people who are like, well, my faith wasn't in Q anyways.
My faith is in God.
And it's going to, I'm putting my trust in God.
We're going to figure it out where it's all going to work.
And then, um, Meanwhile, Biden is being like fucking inaugurated with multiple pastors hand on a giant family Bible.
Like, you know, if, if God had a problem, he had plenty of opportunity to step in and stop it.
Yeah, and Biden's a Catholic, too, so he has extra God.
Yeah, he's got regular God, and then he gets to sort of worship all of those saints, even though the commandments tell him that that's expressly forbidden, but Catholics just ignore that part.
And so, yeah, I mean, I've never, you know, I've never really understood Catholicism because they're just like, we have to venerate Saint whoever.
And it's just like, sort of seems like you're building graven images to this not God.
And they're just like, don't worry about it, St.
Patrick was a saint!
And it's just like, that doesn't make him a god!
Anyway, what do I know, I'm just a silly atheist, lol!
Shrug emoji.
Shrug emoji.
But uh... Dance is offstage.
Oh god, yeah.
And I think my favorite, well, there's my two favorite reactions from the major QAnon grifters today.
Joe M. pretty much is calling for armed rebellion and the overthrow of the American government, which is awesome because Joe had called so many shots and talked so much shit going into this thing about how If Biden gets in, then Q failed and I'll live stream my cult deprogramming.
At one point he was like, if Biden gets in, I'll tell everybody that poker and politics is smart and intelligent and sexy.
And it's like, dude, dude.
Yeah.
I was like, dial back on the sexy.
We both know that I could, I could lose a few pounds.
That's cool.
Damn right.
Just look at the ladies that Trump is pulling.
You should just read The Art of the Deal.
The Art of the Ceiling the Deal, more like it.
Am I right, guys?
Trump's a pickup artist, aka the guy who just pays women money for sex because that's what he does.
I mean, that is a valid way to pick up women in places where that's legal.
Yes.
It turns out that that transaction is incredibly simple.
It's like, me want sex, me have money, and then they're like, okay, well I'm willing to have sex with you and take your money.
It's just like, this good, and then boom, transaction over.
Why is this legal again?
Because Puritans settled half of America at the start of America's creation, which kind of fucked our nation up royally the whole way.
Yeah, just look at Ben Shapiro.
Yes, oh god.
Ben Shapiro spends more time wandering around a desert than the Jews.
My partner has been watching videos breaking down Ben Shapiro's sister's YouTube channel.
What a lovely family.
What a just genuinely great and nice family.
And the thing about Ben Shapiro, much like so many of these QAnon people, is that he was someone who like failed at Hollywood and then decided to get angry about it, that society didn't give him a white man, the success and fame he was owed for having white skin and a penis.
His sister, Toes of the Line, too.
If you want to just be nauseated, go to... I think it's, like, Classic Woman.
Oh, God.
Yeah, that'd be the name of Ben Shapiro's sister's channel, absolutely.
And there's a great theory that Ben Shapiro's sister is just him with a wig, because it looks like him with a wig.
It's just his face, but with long hair.
Uh, so yeah, um, beyond revolt, uh, he got exposed as he's a QAnon promoter.
He got exposed and he is a failed screenwriter.
Uh, the QAnon shaman is a failed actor.
All of these people are just trying to make it and they can't make it like the normal way.
So they go the right wing grift way to try to get their celebrity status achieved.
The QAnon shaman is technically a Navy vet.
Do you know why he got kicked out of the Navy?
I can't wait to find out.
He refused to take the anthrax vaccine because he was in roughly the same time as I was, and we had to get the anthrax vaccine because people had it at that time.
So he got kicked out of the Navy for refusing To take the anthrax vaccine and to me that sounds like they were looking for a reason to kick him out because you have those people in your unit that are just the like just a mess and a nightmare and usually command is looking for a way to get rid of them and normally like I remember you could sign a deal and just like you could not take the anthrax vaccine
There was something.
I don't remember the particulars.
Can I take this vaccine?
Because it will interfere with the magic in my underwear.
Yeah, and he gets to stay in jail until after the inauguration.
They decided that he was just a little too spicy to be let out of jail.
Well, I mean, I know that we were worrying as the terrorist attack was happening.
It was just like, oh, I want to see these people arrested, but I want it to happen after Trump's out of office because we don't want him to pardon any of those cats.
Well, I don't think any of us predicted exactly how...
The tide was going to turn on Trump after the Boogaloo Boys and whatnot decided to do their Civil War II dry run, because it turns out that there was no way in hell Trump was going to pardon any of those idiots.
Yeah.
I thought for a minute he might snap up some of them, and I thought for a minute he might pardon Joe Exotic.
I was genuinely worried that would happen.
You had a bit of information about the Joe Exotic failed pardon, as it were.
Joe's friends and family, I don't know, whoever he has left, spent thousands of dollars on a media campaign to get Trump's attention to get a pardon.
And Joe was so certain, like, if you've seen the Netflix The limo was there.
entry, you know what he's like. He was so certain he was getting a Trump pardon that
he hired a limo to wait outside the jail for his inevitable Trump pardon. It did not come.
The limo did. The pardon.
The limo was there. Sadly, it left without Joe Exotic. That, like, it's really funny
that in the 11th hour, in this final moment, you had so many different people begging Trump
for pardons.
QAnon was just out of their minds wanting pardons for Julian Assange.
And there was a lot of people requesting that Edward Snowden get pardons.
And so you just had all these people trying to aggressively parasite Trump, who is on his way out and no one likes him and he's a lame duck.
And then the next thing you know, he does nothing for anybody.
He pardons like Lil Wayne and some other people, like arbitrarily.
How did Lil Wayne do that he needed a pardon?
That I have no idea.
But apparently he needed to get sprung for his crimes.
And Trump was willing to do him a solid, which is so weird.
Everybody wants a black friend so they can pretend they're not racist.
Lil Wayne is now Trump's black friend.
So remember that the next time you want to appreciate some Lil Wayne music.
What did Lil Wayne do?
What's really odd about it is that there was that moment in time... Why Lil Wayne and not Bobby Shmurda?
Sorry, that's a hip-hop thing.
There was that moment in time where Trump became kind of obsessed with his pardon power and was like, Hey, I can do this.
I can just bring people from jail whenever I want.
This is wild.
And he was like meeting with like these, with these like prison reform activists and other black leaders.
And he was just kind of like.
Hey, whatever.
And you would have thought that, like, if this was a thing he was going to do, he would have done it, like, before the election as, like, a form of outreach to the African-American community.
He'd be like, hey, I'm getting these people out of jail for you guys.
I'm putting in work for you.
Little Wayne was found to be carrying guns and bullets on a private, when his private plane was searched in Miami last year.
And he also, he faced 10 years for federal weapons charges.
Uh, he also granted clemency to Kodak Black, who I haven't heard of, who, um...
That's my favorite out of production film, is Kodak Black.
He also faced weapons charges.
He was sentenced to almost four years in jail for making a false statement to buy a firearm.
So they both faced weapons charges and both were granted clemency by the president.
Oh, thank God.
Our benevolent God Emperor on his way out the door showing his tender mercy to those who need it most.
He still managed to execute that woman that was on death row for, like, you know, killing her rapist or whatever, though, so good for her.
Oh, no, they killed the woman.
Was she the one who cut a baby out of someone?
Yeah.
It was because she had mental health issues stemming from systemic abuse from her father and all that.
OK, yeah.
But she did kill a woman by cutting the baby out of her.
Oh, I'm not saying that Trump should have pardoned her.
I'm just saying that maybe somebody who is in that spot Mentally, maybe prison for life is good enough.
Maybe actual mental health services, but not, you know... Not freedom, because she did do that thing, but maybe not murder.
Maybe just treatment in prison forever.
Your mental health is never your fault, but it is your responsibility.
So there you go.
The more you know, Rainbow.
Yeah.
Nailed it.
That was one of the weirdest things that was happening at the end of the Trump presidency was getting the federal executions up and running again.
And this bizarre joke, like, act of pardons and murder.
Yes!
And then you had Bill Barr or someone was trying to make it so the federal government could execute people by firing squad again.
That was a big thing that they were trying to wedge in at the last moments of the Trump presidency.
What the fuck?
Why does this matter to anybody?
Like, when you kill somebody, they're dead.
Do you really need to have to, like, tie them to a pole and have, like, six guys, like, shoot them?
And then, like, those guys are traumatized for life because they just murdered somebody?
Yeah.
We're sergeants of many minds on execution, but...
Well, the way that works is some people are given blanks and some are given real bullets and they don't know which one's which.
So, it gets to be a question in your mind, am I the one that shot him?
The military still has it on the books, don't you worry.
Yeah, I love the idea of that, that some people have blanks and some people have real bullets, so you literally all have to aim in the same spot, otherwise you know if it was you or not.
Because if you're like, I'm going to shoot this guy, I don't know, on the low left side, and then boom, and then nothing happens.
You're like, oh god, I didn't do it.
Yeah, you're the guy whose shots, when you're firing downrange, always pull up and to the right, and then you're like, aside of this firing squad, there's the fucking top left quadrant and that guy's head explodes and everyone knows it's you.
You're standing there with your smoking rifle and you're like, it could have been anyone!
It could have been anyone!
You're the guy in the hot dog costume going, hey!
Anyone could have done this!
I don't know!
This is the definition of gallows humor.
Good for us, we really got there.
Yeah, it's truly the bleakest of humor.
Going back to the exaltations of the QAnon promoters who are desperately trying to keep this ball rolling now as they watch so many of their flock just running out the back of the church in droves.
Are they all on Parler?
It's so hard to say it with a Russian accent.
Parler.
Uh, Parlor is real.
Just make it sound like you've got marbles in the back of your throat.
Parlor.
That's how the character in Rounders did it.
Good old John Malkovich.
Oh, God!
Welcome to our free speech platform!
Alright, John Malkovich.
We're both doing Borat.
We're both doing, I mean... I mean, I tried to do, like, the problem is that John Malkovich's Russian accent in Rounders is so bad that trying to replicate it always just sounds like you're really swinging it from the fences to do a bad Russian accent.
And it's like, no, I was trying to do the real thing.
Don't tread on me!
You do not tread on me.
Oh, you're Teddy KGB at this point.
I actually saw some behind the scenes footage where like literally after the first take
of Teddy KGB doing his bullshit, Matt Damon is just looking at Malkovich like, what the
fuck is going on?
Everyone else is loving it, but Damon's like, what the fuck was that?
And then Malkovich pulls him in and leans into him and he just says, I'm a terrible actor.
And then they just go to the next take where Malkovich is like, look, I'm just going to choose scenery and do this terrible accent and just roll with it, man, because I don't know how to do this any better than what I'm doing.
So what are the grifters doing over on Parlor?
Uh, so I can't... Parler's, like, really hit or miss at this point.
So, like, most of the Grifters are on Gap, because it's a little more stable.
But, uh, Utah, uh, QTah, that... who was, like... I feel bad for QTah, because he was an up-and-rising Grifter, and now this has happened.
Although, you knew... I mean, you knew January 20th was going to be kind of hit kind of hard, QTah.
You knew that you were only going to get, like, five minutes that... five months of that sweet, sweet grift before the... Yeah, this is, like, Betting on like the fucking the the horse that is the favorite to come in last or whatever to win the thing you're just like alright I'm gonna make all my bold fucking predictions January 20th is the hard out and If my shit doesn't come true then like it probably isn't that I'm kind of fucked but in the tiny percent chance that it is right Then boy howdy I'm gonna be a genius and I'm gonna I'm gonna really ride that rocket to the top
Yeah.
The thing that I love about QTah is that he just went all Great Pumpkin on us.
He was just like, Q is still real.
There are still 200,000 sealed indictments.
It's all true and it's all going to happen someday.
Just you watch.
And he's just Linus.
He's just Linus in the pumpkin patch, just waiting for it to happen.
And he's begging everybody else to lie in the pumpkin patch with him.
And I just look at this and I'm like, well, doesn't what happened here just, like, if Q is real and what you say has happened and there are those sealed indictments and all of this shit, what's the mechanism?
How does it still work?
Because, like, Q is out of power now.
I mean, the bad guys either know who he is or they've cut him off and he's isolated and the bad guys aren't going to execute the 200,000 sealed indictments now.
Those are all quashed.
They're all gone.
No one's going to deliver those.
The Biden DOJ ain't gonna authorize that shit.
So, like, what good is any of this?
Like, you're basically saying that, like, look, guys, it was true.
We were about to win, but then we lost.
And I don't understand how that's a good thing.
Like, why would you be in favor of admitting that you almost did it, but you didn't?
So QAnon fucked around and got the Game of Thrones ending.
They got an ending so bad that it ruined the whole show.
Yeah, pretty much.
I mean, this is, this is it.
I mean, you're just, you're watching so many of these guys now just trying to find a way to be the clown that's doing the juggling act in front of the car crash where there's like, no guys, it's cool.
This is fine.
We're making it work.
Like, Prang Medic had a photo of, like, giant storm clouds over the Capitol building.
And he was just like, beautiful sky over D.C.
today.
And then Jordan Sather was talking about something where he's like, even if Biden gets sworn in, like, there's these things that can happen in the next 24 to 72 hours are going to be wild.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I saw you post something about that on Twitter that someone, they've already, they've been moving the field goals, as it were, Already, but someone kicked it out to 70.
They can't arrest Biden until he's been in office for 72 hours.
Oh, there was that.
Someone else had a thing like a couple of weeks ago where they were like, Biden can't get arrested until he's been paid for the job.
When he gets his first check as president, that's when the crime is real.
Can you give me a quick list?
Some goon is just going to walk up to Joe Biden directly after he gets sworn in and hand him a big briefcase for no reason.
And then she's like, haha, finally, our time to seize him!
Because simultaneously, the cabal is all-powerful and also incredibly dumb.
Oh, God.
Yeah, it's all sign eight of the signs of fascism.
It is all of these things.
The Cabal rules the world but is so inept that they could fall for the dumbest trap.
This whole week has been nothing but this build-up that January 6th, which was bad and was all Antifa doing bad things and we all hated it, But then QAnon would also pivot on a dime to this bullshit about how all of the troops that came pouring in after the sack of DC, that was Q-team's final move.
This massive army was waiting, and the fence that was being put around the Inaugural area, all of that was to trap Biden, Obama, and all the deep state, and they were all going to get arrested.
And there was this...
There was all these memes about how the inauguration was a trap that they were luring the deep state into.
And then once they walked inside that gate, once they walked behind that barbed wire covered fence, they were sealing their fates.
That it was all over.
That if they wanted the presidency, they had to risk everything.
And it's like, no, that's not how the presidency works.
You can be sworn in fucking anywhere.
You don't have to go to a physical place to be sworn in at a sacred location to be president.
Lyndon Johnson was sworn in on Air Force One at Love Field in Dallas after Kennedy was murdered.
Don't you know the presidency is like Immortal Highlander style?
It has to be in one spot.
If Trump runs in and cuts his head off now, lightning will erupt from Biden's body and blow him to bits.
If Trump ran in from offstage with a broadsword and got to Biden and decapitated him, I would accept Trump's second term.
If Donald Trump, in all of his doughy orange glory, managed to punk all of the Secret Service agents and other people around to decapitate Joe Biden live on television with a broadsword, he would be my president.
He would have earned it.
I can probably accept that.
It has to be a special broadsword, though.
It can't be any one from, like, a martial arts supply store.
He has to go pull it out of a rock or something.
I don't know.
I feel like the crappier the sword is, the more impressive it is if you can get Biden's head off in one clean swipe.
Not like we don't need violence against our new president for the FBI that are listening.
This is a purely hypothetical Highlander-style situation.
Yes.
Much like Alex Jones gets red in the face for 20 minutes screaming about how he wants to kill his enemies and then adds in, I mean kill them politically, and that absolves him of all blame for all of the hatred.
We know Biden is secretly a lizard person and can only be destroyed with decapitation, so.
Yes.
And certainly not just waiting a week or two because, man, when he was in the audience, when he got up and delivered his speech, his speech for the most part was great and good for them.
There must have been a tremendous amount of pressure on his speech writing team for this inauguration.
But in all the moments where he was sitting down with his mask on and his, like, thin hair wispily blowing in the wind, he looked like the second oldest person, uh, in the D.C.
area at that time.
And I say second because the first oldest-looking person in that crowd was fuckin' Bernie Sanders.
Dude, any Bernie bro, after looking at Bernie Sanders today during, uh, during the events of today, like, that wants to come at me and just be like, this man should be our president, I'm gonna be like, you are on drugs.
Like, Bernie Sanders might have some good ideas, but he looks like somebody's great-grandpa.
Like, he showed up wearing a frumpy jacket and some big, like, woolen mittens and looked like at any moment he was going to die from exposure in the 40 degree heat.
I was like, wow, Bernie Sanders, like, just live the rest of your life in a tube or something.
Continue to get your message out there, but do not be in public anymore.
Yeah, I'm fine with him not being president and instead being the head of the Senate Budgetary Committee.
Yes.
I think he can do just a bit more good there.
I'm fully in favor of having, like, actual people that, like, want to try to, like, rein back in, like, the bullshit system of, like, quote-unquote capitalism that we have in America these days.
So, like, having Bernie and Liz Warren, like, as watchdogs in that spot is, like, very good in my mind.
Mike, we've done a little forecasting, but what...
What do you think the next two years until the midterm elections looks like for Q?
I know it's a big question, but give me your insider, you've been deep in the trenches with Q. This is it.
The storm happened.
What does, broadly, what does the next two years look like for them?
I mean, it's really gonna be, it's gonna be like, who wins this power struggle pivot?
Like, you're going to have the people they believe in, like Trump, like Sidney Powell, like Lin Wood, like General Flynn, you're gonna have the people they believe in, like doing stuff.
And Lord knows what Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert and these other
like luminaries of the QAnon movement are pushing for.
But you're just going to have like this push and pull from all these different
ways, all these different people.
And is Trump going to be seriously going to try to get the Patriot Party up and running?
Are they going to try to do a Tea Party co-op takeover of the GOP from the inside?
I do think that there's absolutely going to be QAnon grifters and true
believers running for office in 2022.
And I think that's kind of like, this is where it gets scary in a way, because in midterm elections, most people don't turn out and vote.
The people that vote in midterms are the hardcore true believers that get out there because they want to do stuff.
This is where you get people that are unpalatable to polite society, worming their way into office, and then it's very hard to get them out once they're in there because the power of incumbency and whatnot, will you?
Like Ted Cruz got in in a midterm as a Tea Party insurgent.
Abbott, the current governor of Texas, was supposed to be the establishment guy.
He was supposed to be the guy that won that seat.
And Ted Cruz stole it from him.
And now America's stuck with Ted Cruz.
Tea Party moron.
And I'm sure if you, like, look up, like, Ted Cruz's, like, electoral history, the amount of votes he got in the Texas primary in, like, 2010 or whatever it was, it probably wasn't a ton of votes.
So, like, that group, that tiny group of people is why we have this, like, boil on the ass of America for, like, the last, like, 12 odd years because, like, this is what happens when, um, The establishment nominates someone who couldn't fall victim to an insurgent campaign against that guy.
And what do you think?
More and more fracturing.
And then there's just, it's like the final scene of Jet Li's The One, where it's just people climbing up this pyramid to try and claim the top spot while one guy keeps kicking them off.
Whoever's on top at the moment.
Oh, I think it's something like that.
The one thing I really think the Republicans have to be worried about, even if like the Patriot Party doesn't happen, which would, I think a lot of the revenue streams that Trump uses, that spigot would get turned off very quickly if he ever dared actually make that move.
The real problem is these Tea Party people, when they would lose an insurgency challenge to whoever it was, they would just be like, yeah, I lost.
Dumb as it breaks.
I understand for the good of the party and America, I will concede my election to that person.
But, the QAnon people, like, imagine if Marco Rubio, because he's up for re-election in 2022.
How dare you ask me to imagine Marco Rubio?
I'm a terrible person, but, so... Stop looking like you're a turtle person.
Yes.
So think of Marco Rubio running for re-election in 2022 against, like, sociopathic QAnon true-believing nut or grifter who's skimming people.
And Rubio wins the primary, like, 65-35 or whatever, because QAnon doesn't have that big a poll or whatever.
You know, to win a statewide election.
And then Rubio gives his victory speech.
He's like, and now on to the general election to beat the evil Democrat.
And then the QAnon sociopath who lost the primary is like, I'm not conceding to Rubio.
This shit was rigged.
He used the voting machines on me.
Fuck that guy.
And then he tells his followers to stay home or vote third party or to write him in.
And now Rubio has gone from like probably a five point favorite to beat the Democrat in winning re-election to now like down five to eight points against the token Democrat because this QAnon nut refuses to release his voters to him.
And like some of them might be like, Hey, we got to vote for Rubio.
We got to do the right thing.
But he's literally just going to have this nut spending the rest of the campaign screaming that Rubio robbed him, that Rubio fucked him over and fuck democracy.
Fuck this bullshit.
Fuck everybody.
I just think that like the fact that you're not going to have these, um, QAnon promoters playing the go-along-to-get-along role, the being like Tea Party bros, as it were, that instead they're going to just be shitheads that are never going to accept a loss in an election as being legitimate, is like really dangerous for the Republicans.
And I actually looked up Ted Cruz's history, and it was in 2012, and he beat some guy named Dave Dewhurst.
And it was like 600,000 votes for Ted Cruz, basically.
So like 600,000 people in Texas is why we're stuck with this fucking asshole.
So thanks.
Thanks, tiny sliver of the Texas population.
How many people live in Texas?
Like 20 million or something?
I mean, like, holy shit.
I wouldn't call most of them people.
So, spinoff question from... yeah, that's right, take that, Texas.
Spinoff question for this one, though.
So, in X amount of years, like, probably not four, because the incumbent's usually pretty easy in the saddle, but in X amount of years, do you think we're going to look back On these times and weirdly say, like, man, thank God for QAnon.
Like, because QAnon showed up and fucked up the Republican Party, but good.
Now it's smooth sailing for the good guys.
Like.
That's like the real question is, like, how does it work on the front of.
Does it actually splinter the Republicans?
Or do the Republicans just become even more insane and somehow manage to stay effective enough to win statewide and national elections?
If QAnon either breaks the Republican Party, that's awesome.
If QAnon actually pulls the Republican Party so far to the right That they can't win the presidency, even with the Electoral College, because they're just like so fucking toxic and shitty that it turns like, basically the next two, the two closest states after the, besides all the states that Biden won, the next two closest that Trump won were North Carolina and Florida.
And let's say those two states flip blue, and then Texas behind them.
But if that happened, where the Republicans can no longer count on North Carolina and Florida, they already lost pretty badly.
Biden got over 300 electoral votes and you only need 270 to win.
So it's like, if the Democrat map is now almost like 350 electoral votes because of Florida and North Carolina, Now it's just like, holy shit, like, what are we going to
do?
At that point, the Republican party would have to take a serious look into the
mirror and be like, okay, we're fucked now.
Like we have to actually do something different or we can't win the presidency
anymore.
I mean, You're able to dial back from here?
That's the real question.
Is like, I don't think they're going to dial back in 2024.
I mean, Trump's orders definitely are.
Whatever Trump ends up doing now that he's out of office, he's got to bring that base of, like, Q loyalist wackadoos with him.
So if he makes a new party, like, even if it's like a tiny sliver of the Republican Party, I mean, considering how quote unquote close these elections have been thanks to the Electoral College, it seems like even a tiny sliver is enough to maybe move the line, right?
Oh yeah.
I mean, the thing is, I don't think the Republicans are going to normalize for 2024 because they look at this and they're like, yeah, Biden won by like 8 million votes in the popular, but that doesn't matter.
He really won by like 40, 50,000 votes in the Electoral College.
And if a few things broke our way, we could have got it done.
But if in 2024, if you have like Patriot Party bullshit, or if you have Republicans like sitting out because they didn't get their binky or whatever, will you?
If the Republicans actually get crushed, like, badly in 2024, where the Electoral College
like kind of reflects a popular vote, I think that's the moment when like, there's gonna
have to be a lot of soul searching in the Republican Party about like, where we go forward
from here, like, what do we actually do?
Because how racist can we be?
Yeah, like, how racist can we be?
While still keeping our billionaire overlords who are the actual people we really care about,
how do we keep them placated and happy so they keep handing us piles of money so that
we can at least like, potentially show them that we can win office and get them their
tax cuts?
Because, I mean, the thing is, is that when Trump won, the Republicans had the trifecta.
They had the House, the Senate, and the presidency, and Basically, the only thing they really did with it was like slop off the individual mandate from Obamacare and pass a tax cut and then pretty much that was their entire agenda.
The wall.
Oh yeah, the wall.
But I think Trump managed to get like three more miles of new wall built during his entire term in office.
Every other dollar that went to the wall was like repair, repairing old wall.
We haven't talked once about second impeachment.
Uh, whatever.
Doug got impeached again, and now he's not the president anymore, so whatever.
We talked about second impeachment at the end of the listener question podcast.
We did bring it up.
Oh, did we?
Yeah, we did.
But I mean, like, second impeachment is kind of like just on the table.
The real question is, is do they convict him so he can't run in 2024?
I think McConnell is pushing for that, and I really think there's a good chance it might, just so they have a chance of him not mudding the waters.
Yes, I mean, as Team Good Guy, do we have to, like, kind of root for Trump to maybe not get convicted?
did.
What?
Because, like, we I mean, fool me one shame on me, etc.
Like right.
But like, it seems super duper unlikely that if Trump managed to like, like was legally
able to run again in 2024, a that he would get the nomination or B that he could win
But man, him being around could certainly throw a monkey wrench in it.
Maybe Donald Trump is now the good guy's greatest asset.
Like, he's just like an accidental double agent because he's a fucking buffoon and a rube.
I mean, he really, he, like, he did not win them, Georgia, but he really helped.
Well, the big thing is that in those runoff elections, the votes that Purdue and Embezzlement Lady got They had less votes than what Trump got on November 3rd.
So the Republican base didn't show up big enough for the Republicans in that Senate race.
Which Trump told them to do.
They did not come out in a bigly enough force.
They did not.
Hugely.
Yeah, their lack of hugeness is why they bigly lost.
And it's why, in 90 minutes, the Democrats will actually have control of the Senate.
Because that is when Ossoff and Warnock get sworn in.
Oh, is that today?
Yeah, that's today.
And Kamala Harris having already been sworn in as Vice President means that she is now the tie-breaking vote.
So, at exactly 4.30, we will have Senate Majority Leader Schumer and Senate Minority Leader McConnell.
Never a more beautiful phrase.
Do we want to go over to what kind of listener questions do we have?
We're not overwhelmed by them.
We've got three delicious listener questions that I see here.
So if you want to do a little more newsery before we get to them, that'd be fine.
If you wanted to go to the questions, also fine.
The world is your oyster, Sarge.
Oh boy.
I don't know.
I mean, like, our new segment this week has just been kind of a horseshit potpourri of inauguration bullet points and us just wildly talking about nonsense, so... Oh!
Oh!
Oh my god!
Time to scatter the beam even more!
That just reminded me, because you said Inauguration, and it reminded me, we were talking previously about Lady Gaga, Illuminati agents.
Oh yeah, we did almost forget to talk about this.
So, Mr. Mike Raines knows a lot more about this than I do, but years and years ago, secret info about Elle.
Elle loves Lady Gaga.
Not enough where I'm going to go out and buy her albums and stuff, but just in terms of a pop star with some juice.
I enjoy me some Lady Gaga.
So, years and years ago, Mike hipped me to the fact that Lady Gaga was a big player in the Illuminati, like, conspiracy community, in that they were just like, oh, Lady Gaga is like, proof that the Illuminati is doing, like, their brain control, like, look at her using triangles or whatever.
So, just to get the audience caught up as to why the fuck we're so excited about Lady Gaga being at the inauguration.
And now I'll give it back over to Mike to explain further.
Yeah, when she did the Super Bowl halftime show before the Super Bowl, Alex Jones declared that we were going to be seeing a satanic ritual at halftime that year because of Lady Gaga.
I think it was Poker Face or around that time she had like this one photo of her with one hand covering an eye and a lightning bolt that had been like super glued onto her face and lightning bolts and eye coverings as totes Illuminati.
She drives these people up a tree.
She is the most Illuminati of all the celebrities around, and so her performing there was incredible.
Gab, who are just literally pandering to QAnon and the New World Order people in the most aggressive manner possible, had a tweet about Lady Gaga appearing at the inauguration, and the tweet was, And it's just like, just seeing Gab like leaning so hard into this bullshit, just begging QAnon followers and Illuminati people and New World Order believers, like, please come to our platform.
We will let you talk about George Soros any way you want to.
It's totally cool.
We're all about that free speech.
Just come to Gab and peddle your dumb lizard people bullshit.
If I go to Gab, can I find the answers to the burning questions I have about the performance?
Like, why she was wearing that fuckin' house decoration sized bird pen?
Did you see that thing?
I'm sure that the people that like don't give a fuck about Trump and QAnon and are just like hardcore Illuminati nuts, like my boys Vigilant Citizen and Nicole for an Uprising, I'm sure they have incredible decodes on Lady Gaga's dress right now.
But, uh, sorry, you guys aren't gonna be cool for at least another six months while QAnon burns down and we all go back to the old Illuminati shit.
So, until then... Look, I'm telling you, Grifters, if you're listening to this, get in touch with us.
We can start Nanon tomorrow!
You've been around the world.
Nanon, nanon.
This is our slogan.
We're coming for you.
N-anon.
Think about it.
I've got N-level clearance.
Because I have no level clearance.
Because I have no levels.
For a second there when you said nanon, I was like, did we riff on Nunz Anonymous?
No, it was In-a-non.
In-a-non, okay.
Not non-a-non.
Yes.
In-a-non.
Not to be confused with non-a-non, our unleavened bread enthusiasts.
So, na-non, non-a-non, and non-a-non.
Yeah.
That's gonna be a t-shirt of just all these different phonetics of, like, the In-N-On things.
They formed the pyramid of... They formed the triangle that goes over Lady Gaga's eye and gets us into a ball so we can start doing adrenochrome ice luge.
The letter N on the top, and then a nun, and then some tasty unleavened bread.
It's all...
It's all there.
We eat all of these things.
And after you get that unleavened bread, you put a raisin on it.
I was hoping you guys would forget about it this episode.
I already said it once this episode.
What are you, high?
No.
That was the most offensive no I've ever heard.
I don't have the option, currently.
Oh, man.
So anyhow, I think shoehorning in the Lady Gaga stuff covered our newsery for the week, so we can get to the questions from the listeners, as it were.
And the QAnon Origins Project, which does incredible work on the early QDrops, and everyone should follow them, says, what's your favorite GIF going around on QTelegram?
And his gif is the whole Gandalf scolding Frodo and telling him that a wizard arrives precisely when he means to, which is to explain why Q has yet to arrest the bad guys.
And he's waiting for the perfect moment to do exactly what he wants.
And my answer to that is, sadly, I really haven't seen that many dumb gifs on Telegram because The main channel that I go to for that QAnon stuff, it's so spammy and so overwhelming that following it gives me a nosebleed.
The channel did have this hilarious moment where right during the inauguration, The moderators paused the channel and were like, guys, we're going to pause this to give everybody a breath.
Uh, cause, um, we don't think the arrests are going to happen.
And now you all need to calm down right now.
And it was just so funny watching like the grifter mods, like having to like hush their rank and file, angry, bloodthirsty mob.
Because the Bloodthirsty Mob wasn't gonna get what they wanted, and everybody knew it, and it was time to try to de-escalate a little and calm down.
Yeah, unfortunately, I haven't seen any juicy, like, gifs out of the Q people myself, but a heroic friend of mine in one of my group chats has been posting tweets and screen grabs and stuff of some Q message board that's having a big meltdown, where apparently now the moderators are just straight-up banning anyone who has anything negative to say about Q.
They're just like, Q is still great.
And if you have any dissenting opinion based on his continued wrongness and absence,
then we will ban you.
And it's just like, well, I thought you guys were free speech champions.
You know what?
You do you, Boo.
Yeah, the only thing I can bring up as a graphical image was I had been hanging out in that Telegram channel
for like days.
And then out of nowhere, one of the mods posted the photo of my head Photoshopped
on the giant fat guy naked, except for his tighty whiteys holding his keyboard.
And they put the caption, we see you under that.
So I don't know how they knew I was there, or if they even knew I was there, which is like randomly trolling.
But the thing was is that like I'm so fucking niche and This giant group of QAnon people had no idea what the fucking meaning of that photo was That everyone was just riffing on it.
Like hey guys, how'd you get that camera in my house?
And oh man, Bill Barr really let himself go and just all this other zany hijinks and then The photo of giant fat me vanished from the room, never to be seen again.
And it was just like this very strange moment.
And it, because you would have thought that like, on top of it, they would have said something like, we see you poker, or we see you porker, or something to like, let people know that like, hey, this asshole anti-QAnon guy's in the room, and fuck him!
Or they could have just like, kicked me out or something.
Instead, it was just, hey, continue to monitor and copy and paste the shit we're saying here.
We don't care.
But we're going to let you know we know about you via this spicy Photoshop of you, buddy.
I wonder how disappointed they would be to find out that you're not even the fattest person on our podcast.
It would be heartbreaking for them to know the truth.
I mean, Sarge really let himself go after the military.
It's me.
I am the one who is fatter than Mike.
So if you want, any Q people, if you want, go ahead, message me.
I will give you a picture of myself shirtless, wearing tidy whiteys, clutching my keyboard.
And then in the future, you can Photoshop Mike's head onto my body.
I'll be perfect.
I'd be so good.
Oh, man.
I never... I didn't know that you actually had tighty-whities previously, because you'd already stated that, like, tighty-whities, child, boxers, adult.
But if you want to... I could get some tighty-whities.
I would go get some tighty-whities that were too small, so parts of my bulging sack would be poking out and everything.
We're talking about Elle's underwear a lot.
Yes, this is the... Hey Doug, do you know who you signed up for?
Yeah, Elle's Underwear Corner.
Right, this is the listener question slash Elle Erotica section of the podcast.
Elle, what makes your dick and balls feel good?
You know, underwear-wise.
Alright, cool.
Otherwise, you know, otherwise.
I am awaiting posting the question thread for next week's podcast and receiving a tweet from Not L's Burner account asking that question about L's underwear.
It's gonna be great.
Truly awesome.
What Patreon tier do people need to get to before they get to see my sexy thong pics?
It better be a high one.
No, that's at least $10.
That's minimum $10.
Knowing Mike, he'll be like, $5 smasher poop at the window.
$2 to see Elle wearing fucking whale tail lingerie.
I'd pump just a ten ball.
They gotta break out a crisp Alexander Hamilton to get Elle nearly naked.
Thanks for your question, whoever asked that.
Unfortunately, we didn't have the best answer for you because none of us have seen that many choice Q gifts.
I mean, I guess if you have some, if I can go ahead and... Yeah, the Q community sucks at naming.
Yes.
Sha Paul asks, I was going to ask the over-under on Major Dads going underground, but he seemed to have lasted only an hour.
What is the longest you think Major Dad could go without posting on social media?
Where did he end up now?
I meant to ask you that.
They're all on Gab.
Pretty much all the major QAnon promoters are on Gab.
They're also on Parler, but again, given Parler's connectivity issues... Yeah, inconsistency.
Yeah, they're not trusting Parler enough to really get the message out.
So they're, it's pretty much everyone's on Telegram and everyone's on Gab.
And then they have this, which the one thing that's kind of like almost reassuring is the biggest channel that I don't want to name because I don't want to give it publicity and attention.
The big channel that all the QAnon promoters are mods of, that's like the giant chat room.
That room has like under a hundred thousand people in it.
So like when you saw like Prang Medic have like a quarter million followers and Julian's Rum have like a hundred and thirty followers and Q-Tah have like a hundred thousand and you're like, oh man, like QAnon has like a million people or so they're following it.
They can't even get their biggest telegram room to six figures yet.
So like that's kind of nice that The place where you can go see all your heroes still isn't really that big.
Which is kind of telling about the overall numbers of QAnon.
Or the tech savviness.
Yes, because Telegram is weird.
It's not just something you can click on and go to in your browser.
You have to download Telegram onto your desktop, then open it, and then start looking through channels and shit to find stuff.
It's kind of like Discord and IRC.
It's a weird interface to it.
I mean, I'm just, if I was one of these racists downloading these programs onto my computer so that I could say vile shit on the internet, I would be a little worried about maybe who was making that software, who might have access to it in the future.
In the same way, I would probably be, if I was them, I'd probably be not pumped about my, you know, parlor servers being on Russian soil, but what are you gonna do?
Yeah.
Gotta be racist!
Yeah, the thing is about Telegram is, like, the literal best case scenario you could have is that they're using your fucking computers to mine Bitcoin.
And the worst case is that they're fucking just giving all this shit to the FBI, and you're fucked.
So, I mean, like... Yeah, better hope there's never any fucking, like, discovered, like, Telegram backdoor or whatever that lets somebody get into your computer network and start spying through your webcam at you.
That would be some hot shit.
A bunch of these racists probably are doing some dubious shit in front of their computers.
Yeah.
Alexa, spy on me.
You got it, idiot.
Yeah.
Or somebody's just like, oh man, this QAnon idiot.
I managed to hack into their Telegram account.
Let's see what I can find on their computer.
And then just like literally the first folder is just nakedkidpics.folder.
And they're just like, oh, wow.
Good work, champion.
Evidence of the cabal's pederasty.
Oh yeah, it's evidence.
That's right.
That's what you call that folder, evidence.
Yeah.
I had to do research.
I'm a digital soldier.
Yeah.
I love the Digital Soldier thing.
We had that in our group chat.
The Digital Soldier Awards.
That got a real cackle out of me.
There's nothing I enjoy more than Martin Geddes just weeping about how tough it is to live his life.
And it's like, dude, you post shit on the internet.
You don't do anything hard.
Fuck off.
Martin Geddes did not appreciate my... I reviewed his photography for him.
Did he block you afterwards?
Yeah, no, I was immediately blocked.
Immediately.
I went back to look at more of his photos and I was I was fucking blocked so fast.
His photography is bad.
It is basic and boring and he just takes he he literally had a photo he put up of his laundry with one shoe on top of it.
And he sells a calendar.
I have to figure it's just QAnon people buying his photography.
It absolutely is.
You need to post a good, large photograph to compare and contrast to Martin's terrible photography.
We need premium Sarge power here.
I'll give you a month deadline.
I'll be like you.
I'll move the goalposts for you.
But I just want to see some premium photography out there that people can be like, wow, this is an actual photograph taken by somebody who knows what the fuck they're doing.
Not by a guy who was literally like, I bought a new camera and I don't even know how the fuck it works!
Yeah, no pressure.
I'll have to find something I haven't posted somewhere else.
I don't dox myself.
I'm sure I have some... Sarge is a hipster weenus, and what he means to say is that he doesn't have a way to scan in any of his Polaroids.
See?
Sarge does like to shoot with, I do like to shoot with, about to turn into third person.
I do like to shoot with, I have three different Polaroid cameras
that shoot different film sizes that I like, but my big boy camera is a Canon.
And I have a bunch of photos that I took in Yellowstone a couple of years ago that are definitely worth posting.
But Martin Geddes' photography is just basic.
It's not good.
I said it a bunch on Twitter.
It's like freshman level.
Also, I want to have it on the record that despite the fact that it sees our ring of points on it, I do love Polaroids.
Polaroids are dope.
Polaroids are great.
It's just a fun way to enhance your event, like your wedding or your birthday or whatever.
Just get some fucking Polaroids.
Do it, idiots.
They're expensive.
Yeah, I mean, whatever.
If it's your special day, go ahead and make sure that people have access to Polaroid cameras.
You give them a camera and you're just like, you, make your own keepsakes.
So, the question about how long Major Dad can last without posting on Twitter or social media is very, very brief.
Oh, I didn't say shit about the actual topic of this question because I go out of my way to not know who any of these douchebags are, aside from their names.
Major Dad, I think, is the guy who looked like Max Hedrum in his profile picture.
Frank Nettig is the guy I wouldn't want trying to get my guts back in me on the battlefield.
Martin Geddes is just a name.
I don't know.
These people are all wangchunguses, and I don't feel like having any sort of knowledge about them as people, other than the fact that they are racist on the internet.
Yes.
El has lived the best possible life when it comes to that.
Yeah, he's truly the wisest of us all.
Yeah, I've always said that about my life.
When I think about my life, I'm just like, man, this is the nut perfect.
And finally, Troy Francis asks, if Trump is doing a face swap with Biden for a second term, then does that mean that Pence will be face swapping with Kamala Harris?
Lizard emoji, confused face emoji, as it were.
I forgot all about this.
I read this on your Twitter, that someone thought he was going to do a face off.
So Trump is still the president.
Yeah, someone posted a thing where they did the face-off joke on the Chans and that Trump was going to be Biden and all that stuff.
And there were a bunch of people on Twitter who were like, oh my God, they really believe this stuff.
And my reaction was, no, they don't.
This is a troll.
This is a troll.
This has no traction inside of QAnon.
Everyone get your chuckles, but no, even QAnon knows what a face-off is, and even they wouldn't go this far.
So no, this wouldn't happen.
And the other thing is that QAnon hates Mike Pence now.
He betrayed them.
He didn't use the power of the vice presidency to hand the election to Trump.
So there's no good vice president for a new Trump administration that is like, Possible.
They would want Michael Flynn to be made Vice President by Fiat, but the Constitution doesn't allow that.
I actually had, I have this very weird dude who DMs me, and then when I look at the DM at the bottom, it says, you cannot reply to this person.
They like literally DM me, then block me immediately after they DM me.
And then, and they've been doing it for like a year.
This guy's been doing this for like a year to me.
And that guy, all of his psychosis, he was adamant that Pence was going
to be the one to save the day and take care of business for him.
And I don't think he DM'd me after the 6th.
I think that he gave up.
The QAnon's understanding of constitutional powers granted the offices in our government
is, it's very good.
It's very, very good.
Yeah, they believed in their heart of hearts about engorged, turgid, throbbing Pence, and what they got was a timid, flaccid Pence.
Yes.
Oh, what that guy was trying to tell me was that only the Senate has to confirm a vice president.
So Trump could just pick Michael Flynn and the Republicans would just do it.
But that's not the case.
Both houses of Congress have to confirm a vice president should the vice president leave that office, which is what happened to Gerald Ford.
He is the answer to the trivia question.
Who is the only person that was not on a ticket, as we call it, to become president?
Because Nixon agnew won that election.
Very effective president, no.
due to tax fraud, Ford became appointed vice president and then became appointed
president. So like Gerald Ford, the weird, tricky guy that nobody ever cast a vote
for, for fucking anything and got to be president.
A very effective president.
Very effective. I was in there for a little while and then lost to Jimmy Carter, that
guy who had a great post presidency.
not so much a good presidency as it were.
Yeah, we had a kind of weird, I don't know, six year window of the Fort Carter run.
I'm such a dreadful co-host for a political podcast because I don't remember any of these people are presidents until you say their name.
I mean, there's a reason for that.
They're both incredibly lame duck.
Like they didn't get Anything done either one meaningful while they were in office.
Gerald Ford less so post presidency.
Sorry, that was very dumbly worded once again, but this time better.
Carter post presidency got did massive humanitarian work like Carter, Carter, the most best post presidency of any president period, like eliminated a parasite from the water in Africa, like And Gerald Ford just kind of like fucked off and disappeared and like appeared like did a guest spot on the Simpsons.
That's about it.
Gerald Ford is also his presidency is also part of the Kennedy assassination conspiracy theory, because Ford was on the Warren Commission.
So they believe that like him covering up the truth of what actually happened.
His payment for that was him getting the presidency.
How did we get to talking about these terrible presidents, like, from face-off?
I was so excited when we started reading this question about face-off.
Now we're talking about Gerald Ford, what the fuck?
Because it segued from like the power of the Vice Presidency to like how the Vice Presidency is actually enshrined in the Constitution.
And then that led me to talking about how Gerald Ford became Vice President, etc, etc.
I can trace a line, but the most important... Sorry, let me rephrase my question.
Why aren't we talking more about face-off?
Uh, I don't know!
Not just the incredible John Woo movie, but also the concept that some of these wackadoos... I mean, sometimes I read Q stuff and I'm just like, how much of this do these people really believe?
Right?
Like, when you see the post they're just like...
Oh, now it's time for the super-secret surgery where Trump and Joe Biden do the face-off surgery!
Or, oh, the Joe Biden that's getting sworn in now isn't our legal president because he's a hologram!
And they'll put microchips in their throats to change their voice, because that's the explanation in the movie.
It's just a microchip.
They don't explain it at all.
In the movie, they also don't describe how neither of the people's significant others notice that, despite the fact that their faces and voices might be the same, their bodies are completely different.
I mean, they didn't go under the knife to get penis-matching surgery or whatever, so as soon as a Nicolas Cage's character adds John Travolta's character, bones John Travolta's character's wife, you'd think she'd be like, wow, your penis is really different, man!
Also, their skulls didn't change shape, and that decides just a little bit what your face looks like.
Yeah, and I mean it also determines which one of you is a criminal.
Yeah.
Chronology reference of the week!
Hey!
First chronology reference.
You don't say that, Al.
We have this for you.
Deep cut of the week.
Yeah, that's our deep cut of the week for this week.
It's not about pop culture, it's about phrenology!
The most unbelievable thing to me in this face-off is not the swapping of the faces, but anyone believing for a second that Trump could talk like Biden, if you've heard either of them speak, I mean, I think Trump would have difficulty seeing if he got Joe Biden's face.
That dude has more and more John Wayne eyes the more I see him.
His eyes are just turning into, you know, fucking Asian-style eye folds that look like they're on his Caucasian face.
So it seems like it would be impossible for him to see through it.
I noticed that during his speech.
I was like, this is a good speech.
But man, it looks like it is hard to see through those eyes.
Jesus.
I have not paid attention to the president's eyes.
I enjoy saying that.
That's a weird thing, but...
The next time he's given some sort of public address or whatever, just take a look at his eyes.
They're very... like, I mean, it's just... he's just old!
His skin is just starting to fucking, like, sag and pull on his bones in weird ways.
And like, he's just very squinty.
And I like Joe Biden.
I like Joe Biden fine.
He's the president and that was the goal.
Now let's work to get a better liberal president in there.
But in the time being, I'm still riding with Biden.
But I wouldn't want him behind the wheel because he's a thousand years old and looks like he can barely see.
Al, I just saw a picture, a meme, of Bernie Sanders wrapped up in his coat, like, crunched into his chair with his giant fucking mittens, which you did not need.
It looks like he's waiting for, like, Star Wars tickets or something.
Like, they haven't tried to pick up a PlayStation 5.
They photoshopped him into a craft fair booth surrounded by bird feeders.
Just hunched there like he's selling a million bird feeders at some sort of street fair.
Yeah, I'm sure like, like, did, were there any ducks present at the inauguration?
Because I would pay some pretty good money to see a picture of our boy Bernie dressed in that fashion, just maybe surrounded by, if not feeding, some ducks.
That dude is old.
He's got some good progressive policies, but that dude is too old for office.
I mean, come on now.
Come on now, Bernie Bros.
Look me in the eyes and tell me that he doesn't look like Mumra, and not Mumra the Ever-Living.
He's a shambling, doddering, delightful man with good ideas that I would not trust to lift a cracker.
Yeah, Biden, I mean, you see it with Biden.
He's really old.
I'm, I mean, but again, this was the, our options really were like Biden or Trump, and it was very obvious that it was Biden, and I'm very happy.
What about Bernie?
Shut up, you.
Get out of here.
Hey, I mean, if I ever wanted to lose a lot of followers, we could really get into the nooks and crannies of the 2020 primary, but I'm not going to go there, as it were.
But I mean, it's just like, Um, as, as Elle said, like, uh, Biden's the president and, um, I don't know that, like, Lord knows what's going to happen in 2024 vis-a-vis, is he going to say that I'm too old to run again?
Or is he going to run again?
But whatever.
But it's like, when the time comes for us to like have a new standard bearer to like carry the party torch, be it 24 or 28, then I will vote for the most liberal primary candidate that exists.
You point me in that direction and I will run to the ballot box to fill in the little oval next to their name and then drop it in the slot there and call it a day.
Because I'm all for these things.
Right now, this campaign was literally, America was burning to the fucking ground.
And there was a fire hose laying on the ground that said Biden, and you could either pick it up and begin spraying water on America, or you could let the fucker just burn down to the foundation.
And, uh... No, it's also that big water tower on a building next to the fire that said Bernie Sanders, and...
In a world where the water tower ruptures, it might put out the fire, but that world seems pretty far off.
It seemed like it was probably easier and more efficient to just grab the hose, is what I'm saying, Bernie supporters.
I'm not saying that our way was wrong, I'm just saying that our way was faster and better.
The Water Tower had four years to court the black vote and didn't, so... The Water Tower also has no foreign policy!
So, I mean... Like, that's definitely why I wanted my president.
Yeah, cool.
Fucking forgive my college debt and all that good shit.
What else you got for us?
How do you feel about China or Russia?
No opinion.
Alright, cool.
Good call.
That's why I wanted my fucking president.
Sorry.
Yeah.
The two countries, we don't have a new cold war.
They're just waging cyber and economic war on us.
And like Trump was just giving it to them.
And by that, I mean, America is just like, well, whatever you guys want.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, I could sit here and fucking try to run up the scoreboard talking shit about Bernie Sanders all day.
But we're 90 minutes in, and it's a good day, and I feel like we should go off on a positive note, and that positive note is Joe Biden's sworn in as the 46th president of these United States.
And we did it, fam.
Us.
The liberals.
And with a generous assist from Trump being terrible.
Never underestimate the ability to spike your own wheel.
So for everybody listening, thanks again for supporting the podcast with your ear holes.
If you'd like to support the podcast further, try to get some of your friends' ear holes involved.
Or if you want to go the extra mile and give us some of your delicious, delicious currency, you can do that by going to Patreon at Poker and Politics, which I can't stop thinking of Porker and Politics now.
I had never seen that before.
Porker and Politics.
Just dumb enough to scratch that itch.
But no, it is poker and not porker.
It's Poker and Politics at Patreon if you want to give the podcast a little bit of money to help us do our thing.
If you do have some money to spare but you don't want to give us to three knuckleheads like us who can barely stay on topic, I totally understand.
So go ahead and deliver that money to love146.org.
There are folks out there doing the good work that Q has always claimed they want it done, but could never see to do it themselves.
Also, social media styles, you can follow Mike at PokerandPolitics on Twitter.
You can find myself and Sarge on Twitter at HellWorldL and HellWorldSarge, respectively.
As always, world being spelled with a Q instead of an O, because that's our gimmick, Waka Waka.
Any of you guys have anything to add before I sign us off with our glorious catchphrase?
Did I miss anything?
Are we Gucci?
If there's anything else you want us to talk about, if Q keeps shutting up, if there's any other dumb conspiracies you want us to talk about, let Mike know.
We're not changing the flavor of the podcast, but I feel like there's a lot of things in the same vein we can talk about.
Yeah, if you want 10 hours of Kennedy assassination shit, you know where to look, so no.
Do that, listeners.
Do not want to talk about the Kennedy assassination.
It's like Melisandre said, there's only one hell, the one we live in now.
So that means that even if Q manages to fuck all the way off, we'll still be exploring our adventures in Hellworld.
Speaking of adventures in Hellworld, for adventures in Hellworld this week, I am L signing off for Mike Rains and Sarge.
Good speed, patriots.
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