We get really angry about the halls of Congress being stormed by MAGA/QAnon and laugh at their attempts to scream "False flag" over everything. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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| Hello everybody, welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld. | |
| I am Mike Rains, aka Poker and Politics, and I am joined as always by Sarge. | |
| Hello, welcome from the storm! | |
| And the mysterious El. | |
| Hello my beautiful non-seditious babies. | |
| Yes, uh, we... | |
| So we had planned this podcast to celebrate Biden having his vote in the Electoral College certified, all of QAnon's ridiculous theories about this thing falling apart, and for a period of time today that looked like it was all going to work out great. | |
| Mike Pence released a letter saying, fuck Donald Trump, I'm not about to destroy America on behalf of that big dum-dum. | |
| And the first three states went the way we thought they were, like Alabama and then another state that begins with an A, Alaska, were both confirmed. | |
| And then someone objected to Arizona, and then the world ended. | |
| So before we get into all of that frivolity, usually the content warning is for other things, but this week it might be for the fact that we're just going to swear an incredible amount about the treason that's being committed in America. | |
| Content Warning. | |
| The Adventures in Hellworld Podcast talks in depth about QAnon, which means we have to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people. | |
| Listener discretion advised. | |
| Yeah, so now that you know kind of what's going to be happening on this podcast, as it were, if you want to support the podcast, you can do so through word of mouth and helping us out by letting people know about us. | |
| If you really love us, you can go to patreon.com slash pokerpolitics, throw us a few dollars. | |
| We have the new L incentive where for five dollars he will derail the podcast with any nostalgic thing you want him to come up with. | |
| Yes, we're doing promotional content via your ideas to make our podcast go off the rails even more than normal. | |
| I saw that $5 is a shockingly low number for that. | |
| Not that people are exactly champing at the bit to get there yet, but I mean, $5, such a value. | |
| What an insane value proposition. | |
| It really is. | |
| You're practically throwing your money away not doing so. | |
| But if you don't want to throw your money at us, the word-of-mouth thing is really important because you need to go out there and you need to tell people that you listened to the Adventures in Hellworld podcast, which was on the bleeding edge of talking about the little mini Civil War II that they tried to kick off today. | |
| Yes, and if us three jamokes are not worthy of your cold hard cash, please donate to thelove146.org, who is a group that fights human trafficking. | |
| They do the good work that QAnon always talks about doing, but don't. | |
| And we don't have to ask you to give money to the Georgia runoffs, because the Democrats won the Georgia runoffs! | |
| Yeah, we should be doing like a celebratory end zone dance right now, but instead, We're gonna spend the next, like, 60 to 90 minutes talking about, like, actual insurrection in our country. | |
| Yes. | |
| In the United States of America. | |
| Right. | |
| In the year of our Lord, 2021, we actually had the Confederate flag inside the halls of Congress, where Robert E. Lieb and Jeb Stuart couldn't get it 150-odd years ago. | |
| A bunch of MAGA chuds were able to bring the flag of traitors into the halls of power in America. | |
| And we're going to get to talk about the swift and forceful police response to it. | |
| Yeah. | |
| And we're going to get to compare it super duper favorably to their responses to Black Lives Matter protests. | |
| Yes, absolutely. | |
| Absolutely. | |
| Oh my God. | |
| Did you see the Dishonored tattoo? | |
| Uh, no I did not. | |
| One of the main guys in the halls of congress has on his hand a tattoo from the game Dishonored and that's and everyone thinks it's uh the the conspiracy theory going around now is that it is a um Freaking Antifa. | |
| It's a hammer. | |
| It's a hammer and sickle. | |
| It's like, yeah, it's a communist. | |
| No, it's just a weird dub design. | |
| Yeah. | |
| No, if you like the game Dishonored, you're part of Antifa now. | |
| Oh, cool. | |
| Excellent. | |
| Cause I saw like, I saw some people talking about that and, um, that'll lead to our main, our main store character of the story as it were. | |
| So, uh, let's just hit the cues in the news bumper and get on with it. | |
| What's everyone's favorite death cult been up to this past week? | |
| It's time for Q's in the News. | |
| So nothing moving on to Q drop. | |
| Yeah, deep, deep dive in the we're hitting number 72 tonight, folks. | |
| We're going straight from 50 to 72, 22 Q drops straight to your head. | |
| There's no stop. | |
| There's no stop in this train. | |
| We've cut the brakes. | |
| Oh, man. | |
| So, yeah, the Dishonored Tattoo Hand Guy, he was on the side of the Man of the Hour, the Tower of Power, Too Sweet to Be Sour, the Q Shaman, who... Well, before we get too far in, we're breaking Stanley's rule of comic books here. | |
| Well, like, assuming that the X100 people that are gonna listen to this podcast, like, already know what's happening is all well and good. | |
| But we should at least give, like, a little, like, quick, breezy breakdown of what the fuck we're talking about. | |
| Well, Elle's right. | |
| Elle knows best. | |
| That's why Elle's the brains of this outfit. | |
| So go ahead, Mr. Mike, and tell us what sort of Civil War II electric boogaloo are we talking about here? | |
| Okay, so basically, folks found out, because they did their research, that January 6th was when the Electoral College was going to certify Joe Biden's win, and our beloved president, who would never commit treason, Donald Trump, He told everybody to come on down to ye olde Capitol on January 6th to get angry about the fact that Joe Biden's election was going to be certified. | |
| And then he got on a stage in front of bulletproof glass because everyone loves him and would never do anything to him. | |
| And he screamed and yelled about how he was getting ripped off and how he was hearing not good things about Mike Pence. | |
| But yeah, he was going to keep fighting. | |
| He was never going to concede. | |
| Everyone can just suck his tiny shriveled dick. | |
| And that was all there was to it. | |
| And then the next thing you know, as Mike Pence is trying to certify the votes, people just stormed the halls of Congress. | |
| And we had a literal invasion by... And when you say people, you of course mean Trump slash Q supporters. | |
| That would be Reality's take on the situation. | |
| QAnon's take on the situation. | |
| We'll get to the conspiracy theories after we're done painting the incident with the broad strokes of recap. | |
| Yes. | |
| So, Trump and QAnon supporters proceeded to literally break into Congress. | |
| Congress people were then locked in place in their offices or evacuated. | |
| A woman was shot and it's been reported that she was killed. | |
| There were people on the floor of Congress with their guns drawn pointed out at a door that had a broken-in window that apparently had been shot through by other people. | |
| Yeah, we basically, literally had an armed insurrection attempting to prevent the certifying of the electoral vote by Trump supporters. | |
| Yeah, so the start of our journey through Hell World tonight begins with all of us, the listeners and those of us podcasting. | |
| uh... | |
| in in a vehicle and that vehicles and in this vehicle uh... donald trump the president states inside a riot | |
| against capitol hill during the certification of the votes of the | |
| president-elect joe biden and his army of racist goons was just like cool | |
| we will do that and then broke into the building | |
| and uh... decided uh... make a mess of it and at least one person | |
| has been killed although as of this recording we don't know very much about that | |
| We just know that it is reported that she has been fatally shot during whatever that altercation was. | |
| We don't know anything about the victim currently. | |
| So we're driving along down Main Street in Hellworld in our vehicle of reality, and now we get to bring Q into the vehicle. | |
| And when Q comes into the vehicle, you start to notice that you start veering off the road as your wheels fall off, and then your chassis crumbles apart, and then you blast off into space of lunacy! | |
| The space of lunacy above Hellworld. | |
| Picture Hellworld as sort of like a less popular Night Vale. | |
| It's like a spooky town that's filled with craziness. | |
| So, El, I have to ask, did you see the Q-Shaman? | |
| What Mike is referring to as the Q-Shaman? | |
| Yeah, he was the guy who was dressed up as like the Mighty Manator, right? | |
| Yeah. | |
| Yeah, that guy's a trip. | |
| I mean, I don't know shit about him, because why would I? | |
| But, uh, I did, I did see that he'd, if you look, if you were going to Storm Capitol Hill at the behest of Donald Trump, I'm not saying that's a good idea, and I'm not saying that this guy isn't a piece of shit, but I am just saying, if you're gonna do that, the right way to do it is probably to dress up like a minotaur in the storm, your ass directly up to the podium in the middle of, like, the fucking Like Grand Hall or whatever it's called and you know just sort of have your Yahoo buddies take a bunch of pictures of you so you'll have things to show off when you get arrested for domestic terrorism. | |
| Which, I mean, you would imagine is probably what should happen, right? | |
| A lot of the people that did this whole rioting thing that, you know, conservatives up until today have been pretty adamantly against, including Donald Trump himself. | |
| Like, tonight all of a sudden he was loving the rioters, but back when there was people rioting over black people getting murdered by police in the street for no good reason, Then he was like, mandatory 10-year prison sentence! | |
| If you topple a statue, you go to jail for forever, you piece of shit! | |
| Because there's nothing more important in America than statues of Confederate generals. | |
| Yeah, I couldn't help but notice exactly zero of the Trump supporter people that showed up with their fucking weapons and whatnot decided to turn around and turn their weapons on their fellow rioters when Precious property. | |
| Precious property is starting to get damaged. | |
| Historic American property, no less. | |
| Yeah, when that guy grabbed the podium of, I guess, the Speaker of the House or whatever, and was running off with it, he was getting... Yeah, it was just the definition of looting. | |
| He broke into that building, grabbed a thing that wasn't his, and was just running out while mugging for the cameras. | |
| Yes. | |
| No one was like, hey, stop, looter! | |
| Pow, pow! | |
| None of that happened. | |
| That's because our hero, Kyle, is unjustly in prison right now. | |
| Yes. | |
| Let him out, he'll go back to his home state, he'll arm up for self-defense, then you fly him out to D.C. | |
| and you park his ass at the Capitol and you're like, protect this building, son, you're the only one who can do it. | |
| Yes. | |
| If only Kyle Rittenhouse was there, he would have stopped all of this. | |
| Oh, man. | |
| With his self-defense technique. | |
| Yes, his incredible self-defense technique. | |
| Shoot, shoot, shoot. | |
| Innocent people are dead. | |
| Self-defense. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Stand your ground, Florida. | |
| So the best part about this is you have Q Shaman, literally the most easy to visibly identify QAnon promoter around. | |
| This lunatic who's been to a bunch of rallies, a bunch of other events. | |
| The QAnon Anonymous podcast guys have found this guy at all these different places that they've attended as well. | |
| And he's gotten on the microphone at some of these rallies. | |
| Like in Arizona at one of the Stop the Steal rallies, they gave him the mic to talk to the crowd about how bad Antifa and Black Lives Matter are and how we're not like that. | |
| We're patriots. | |
| We love America. | |
| We love freedom. | |
| We are patriots. | |
| Yeah. | |
| So, like, Q Shaman is not some fucking unknown guy. | |
| There's lots of footage of him at other QAnon rallies doing his thing. | |
| Like, he's worn this getup before. | |
| He paints his face up like a really American version of Sting or The Ultimate Warrior and runs around doing his nonsense. | |
| His real name is Jake Angeli. | |
| A-N-G-E-L-I. | |
| And he will be arrested now, right? | |
| Oh, any second now. | |
| So this sort of transitions into the thousand dollar question for right now. | |
| Do we think, with our mighty brains, that any of these people that have been caught on a billion photographs committing any number of crimes, depending on how far you want to push it from just You're run-of-the-mill terrorism all the way to full-on sedition, like, you know, literally, like, trying to undermine the government of the United States. | |
| And at the very least, rioting and looting. | |
| Any punishments for any of these people whatsoever? | |
| I think, like, honestly, I hope none of them get arrested until the 20th, because D.C.' 's not a state, so I have a fear that, like, anything that they get arrested for would be federal, and Trump could pardon these fucking people for it! | |
| So if you don't, if you arrest them, like, before he's out of office, he might just give them all a pat on the head and say, good job! | |
| And let them go! | |
| You scamps! | |
| Yes, you rascally scamps! | |
| So I'm like, I'm kind of hopeful that the Biden administration and the Biden DOJ will arrest these people. | |
| I just hope they're legally allowed to do so because Trump didn't pardon these fucking bricks. | |
| Okay, so let's assume that nothing happens until Biden gets into office, and that somehow against, you know, the insanity we've gotten used to in Hellworld, these people get arrested. | |
| Like, what are we looking at here? | |
| Do you think they get made an example of for this sort of bullshit? | |
| Because this shows a tremendous amount of weakness on America's part on the world stage. | |
| Yeah. | |
| like this is a sort of shit you expect to see in like columbia or whatever like right at the fact that the fact | |
| that a group of armed citizens broke into capitol hill while like all of our | |
| elected officials were in a room together | |
| hashing out who the next president was those people are still walking the streets is like a | |
| tremendous disservice to the country in general yes it's fucking ridiculous | |
| This is like one of those videos you see of like like a fistfight breaking out in the parliament of Poland or some shit. | |
| I mean this is like some totally weird fucking thing and I really do hope they throw the book at these assholes. | |
| I really hope that fucking happens. | |
| I have no idea Exactly how it's going to shake out. | |
| The only thing I will say is that obviously QAnon and the right are very much afraid of the book being thrown at these people. | |
| Because the aggressive claims that these people are all Antifa impostors and infiltrators who are not really MAGA and are trying to make MAGA look bad is so intense and so fucking ridiculous that, like, my head has exploded. | |
| I can't even wrap my brain around how dumb this is. | |
| Yeah, okay, so the first point, which we briefly touched on, is like, you know, do we think that any of these people are going to get reprimanded? | |
| And our hope is yes, severely, by the Biden administration, and no, not weakly, by the Trump administration, who could just pardon all of them. | |
| Like, so the second burning question would be, how is Q reacting to this? | |
| And that's what you just started talking about, is Q's reaction to this. | |
| Because in theory, you would think this would be the start of Q's big win, right? | |
| This is literally the first inclinations. | |
| Of the Stormwave being here. | |
| That shit's fuckin' here! | |
| Like, the Stormwave started crashing into the Capitol building today, and this is what Q has been talking about forever. | |
| So, uh, like, you know, we sort of fuckin' spoiled it, but like, Q's reaction to this has been sort of bizarre. | |
| Right? | |
| Like, the Q community, not Q himself. | |
| He isn't saying shit because he was busy, like, walking around in, like, the riot today with other people. | |
| Yeah! | |
| Yeah, dad of Q was hanging out in the back of the riot, and his son was probably somewhere in Japan, so... | |
| Picking up a new hat. | |
| Yes, picking up a stylish new cowboy hat to celebrate his Japanese heritage. | |
| So he can come back and be like, Howdy, y'all! | |
| Captain America's here! | |
| How about that sports? | |
| We're just like, cool, yeah, that cowboy hat really looks like it makes you look like a real tough American boy there, buddy. | |
| Oh god, the toughest American boy. | |
| But the thing that's really funny is right now, I would say the majority of QAnon is going off on this whole false flag, this is all bullshit, blah blah blah kind of thing. | |
| But there are some QAnon promoters out there who are just like, hey man, we did kick a lot of ass today. | |
| We actually did, like, a good thing as it were. | |
| We did it. | |
| There's a guy who goes by Midnight Rider and his handle is QAnon76 and he had a tweet out about how what QAnon did was pretty non-violent, disciplined, measured, and when you compare it to the terrible actions of Black Lives Matter and Antifa, there's really no comparison. | |
| Here it is. | |
| Here's the tweet. | |
| I mean, like, I'll let you read it and then I'll respond to it. | |
| uh... compared to today's event at the u.s. capital to those by the left leading | |
| up to the election for months exclamation point | |
| today there is no burning no looting but a powerful message being sent nonetheless | |
| yes i mean it is a it was a the guy is technically not wrong | |
| but the reason is technically not wrong is not because of the the intensity of | |
| the demonstration it's because of the lack of intensity of the response by | |
| police but you know what you want to get the very least that when | |
| the when the riot was beginning like when did you know that as first | |
| literally broke into the capital building and stormed it | |
| You can see in the photos and footage, there are armed officers just sort of milling about in the crowd. | |
| And just sort of like being kind of chill and laid back over the fact there are like, you know, hundreds of terrorists breaking into this federal building. | |
| Like, they were pretty cool about it. | |
| But, you know, when you're on the streets of Seattle and you're kneeling in support of Black Lives Matter and a cop looks at you... | |
| They see you as a threat that needs to be peppered and pelleted and beaten with batons and stubbed into anonymous vans. | |
| So it's just like, yeah, the response wasn't quite as crazy as a lot of that other stuff, but that has more to do with the fact that the police were just sort of, like, letting it happen. | |
| And the idea there was no looting. | |
| Again, the guy stole the fucking podium and was running around mugging for the camera and celebrating his literal looting. | |
| And there were no fires. | |
| How peaceful. | |
| Sure, two people were shot and one of them died, but so peaceful. | |
| Incredibly peaceful demonstration. | |
| Only one person died. | |
| Yep, only one person was killed during our demonstration. | |
| Yeah, and again, the Capitol building was stormed. | |
| Like, these people all... Well, I mean, the problem with these people is that today they got exactly what they wanted. | |
| But they got exactly what they wanted in, like, a way that, like, now they're gonna claim, like, they never saw this coming. | |
| Like, oh god, like, how could we have foreseen that it was going to make us look bad when we actually armed up and tried to overthrow part of the United States government? | |
| And it's just, like, Well, it turns out that was always gonna make you look bad, and it hasn't been making you look bad the whole time. | |
| But now you kicked it up a notch with racking up a ton of felonies. | |
| And I mean, like, I'm not crazy, but, like, you know, maybe it's a little hypocritical of me, but 20 years later, the Patriot Act hasn't really done shit for us yet, right? | |
| I mean, all it's done is put a lot of brown people's lives through hell. | |
| Well, here's your fucking big-ass group of terrorists to Patriot Act, guys. | |
| Like, there they are. | |
| They stormed into the fucking Capitol building armed during, like, a meeting of our government. | |
| And, like, if you're not gonna patriot act those guys, then why don't we just repeal | |
| that motherfucker? | |
| I mean, like, the sweeping powers that the Patriot Act authorizes for you, literally | |
| all those people would have had to do is just point at any one of those white people and | |
| just be like, designated terrorist, put bag overhead and disappear. | |
| And as far as I know, that shit is still legal, right? | |
| Patriot Act is still on the books. | |
| That whole enemy combatant thing where they can just disappear you because you were an enemy combatant and you don't have rights anymore? | |
| At what point do the people breaking into federal buildings, like literally in the capital of the country while armed, when do they stop being rioters and start becoming terrorists? | |
| I think probably literally the second they break into a federal building. | |
| You're waving the literal flag of treason. | |
| Yeah, they even brought their handy flag with them. | |
| But they're white! | |
| So if they were flying just straight up a swastika in any of those photos, would it make any difference to the people that support them? | |
| The answer is no. | |
| The answer is obviously no. | |
| So, again, you have these people who are happy about what happened and how much butt they kicked. | |
| But the majority of QAnon is terrified of this, and the best part about all of this is that QShaman is like the most easily recognizable QAnon promoter around. | |
| He has his dumb Ultimate Warrior outfit, his jaunty hat, his face paint, his naked torso with all his tattoos on it, and QAnon is now claiming this guy is Antifa and or a pedophile. | |
| Oh, are they disavowed him? | |
| Have they fully Aggressive disavowal, devouring of Q Shaman. | |
| He is Antifa. | |
| He's not one of us. | |
| Get fucked, Q Shaman. | |
| You're not really part of this movement. | |
| We always knew you were never part of this movement. | |
| Oh, because they don't want any of this actual crime tied to Q? | |
| Right, exactly. | |
| And it's so, I mean, I think maybe they're just mad at him for embracing the theater of supervillainy and finally throwing on a costume. | |
| I mean, I hate the guy's guts, but at the same time, I love him because it's really easy, like, I mean, he would be a great person to be, like, somewhere near the top of this pile, so you could just hate him because he's got, like, a literal supervillain costume. | |
| We need Phoenix Jones to not be in jail and come and fight him. | |
| He wanted an actual supervillain and, like, there's one now. | |
| Does he actually go by Q Shaman or is that what we're calling him? | |
| That's what everyone calls him. | |
| I don't know if he goes by Q Shaman or if he goes by his real name or not, but everyone who, like, knows him by sight knows him as the Q Shaman. | |
| It's like, I, um, because, like, right now Travis Few is, like, posting a bunch of links to, uh, Q Shaman, um, information because This guy's history and, like, who he is is, like, a known quantity. | |
| And as much as QAnon wants to try to deny it, they can't deny what's going on with him and who he actually is. | |
| So, um, it's just hilarious. | |
| So now a segment of Q is trying to slander him and throw him under the bus? | |
| 100%. | |
| That's the absolute goal. | |
| I just saw a tweet from Travis View where literally he was like, this is Q Shaman's car. | |
| And this was from a rally in Arizona. | |
| This wasn't the car found at the protests in D.C. | |
| where it was obviously a false flag. | |
| But this was back in Arizona months ago during the Stop the Steal shit. | |
| And all of his windows have either that soap or grease paint on them that you write shit on your windows for. | |
| And he had, like, Child Lives Matter, Do Your Own Research, Q is Real, like, all of this shit on all the windows of his car. | |
| I hate Do Your Own Research so much more than anything, because it's just, they just use it as the ultimate excuse all the time. | |
| It's like, hey, tell me about your cultish, dumb-dumb movement. | |
| Oh, Do Your Own Research. | |
| Well, yeah, and then you're just like, well, I have done a lot of research, and here are the sources I went to, and they're just like, oh, well, all those sources are bullshit. | |
| You gotta use the right sources. | |
| And it's just like, so you're telling me it kind of sounds like you want to do the research for me because you want to use special secret sources that know the hidden truth about the lizard and Trinachrome. | |
| Yes, all of that. | |
| Oh God, it's so ridiculous. | |
| Did you see that the Kansas State Capitol building was also stormed because it goes D.C. | |
| Capitol Building, that's the one you take, then Kansas. | |
| Like, in order of importance. | |
| Well, I mean, Topeka is like the center of America geographically in the continental U.S., so once you have Topeka, you literally can get to any place in America equidistantly. | |
| So, I mean... Yeah, the strategic implications of Topeka are huge. | |
| Yes. | |
| It's incredible. | |
| It's fundamentally important to have the center of America. | |
| That's why we were all shocked that Topeka wasn't on that list. | |
| Yeah, well with the 13 very important cities that... | |
| Yeah, the very important cities, you know. | |
| Like the National Guard all deployed in. | |
| Yep. | |
| Speaking of the... | |
| ... | |
| Like the National Guard just like, what are you talking about? | |
| We never heard that! | |
| We're mobilizing right now! | |
| We're doing fine! | |
| It's great! | |
| Yeah, but the National Guard mobilized because Virginia and Maryland's governors called on them to mobilize, because D.C. | |
| apparently just couldn't get National Guard, because fuck you! | |
| And Trump wouldn't call for them, because again, he's in favor of this shit. | |
| I mean... Yeah, it turns out the guy who incited the riot didn't really want it to end. | |
| He only posted his, like, milquetoast non-apology because, like, I'm assuming there was some crying PR manager just, like, just sobbing, and he was probably more annoyed that they wouldn't shut up about it than anything else. | |
| It was just like, fine, I guess I'll post, like, 20% condemning what was happening while 80% patting them on the back. | |
| Because, again, Donald Trump, literally, he just can't whiff on the, like, he's just such a wretched President and person that he just whiffs on the easiest T-ball serve-ups, like, condemn racism, or, you know, tell these people they're breaking into federal buildings. | |
| The meme of Space Captain in front of two buttons, well, condemn racism, or don't. | |
| Yeah, the other button just says play golf at Mar-a-Lago. | |
| Did you see Scotland told him he couldn't come hide away? | |
| Scotland told him he wouldn't be able to make it there by the time of Biden's inauguration because he has to quarantine too long. | |
| I thought you were going to tell me that Scotland forbade him from playing golf ever again and I was like, man, that's incredible. | |
| That would be great. | |
| If God... It's like, as the inventors of golf, we are telling you that golf is not for you. | |
| You're banned from golf! | |
| That'd be great. | |
| Come on, Scotland. | |
| Exert your pull. | |
| We're changing the name of golf to GOTF. | |
| The T now stands for Trump, so now it's Gentlemen Only Trump Forbidden. | |
| That would be perfect. | |
| So is Congress back in session? | |
| Did they actually secure the Capitol building like it should have been done in the first place? | |
| I've heard that the building was secure like about the time we started the podcast and I saw a bunch of tweets from various Congress critters and senators saying that they were going to certify the electoral vote tonight and get fucked you stupid rioters for trying to stop us from doing so. | |
| Yeah, so if they manage to push through tonight, I guess the real question is, who still has the balls to just be like, I object? | |
| That would be so great! | |
| Does anybody back down? | |
| Do they all back down? | |
| It sort of seems like the only appropriate move would be for all of them to back down, because it sort of seems like at this point, continuing this useless Just completely toothless charade would just sort of be like throwing your hat in with these seditionists. | |
| I mean, the thing is, is they started their objection thing. | |
| They got their standing ovation from the Republicans. | |
| Oh yeah, clap clap clap. | |
| Everyone was so happy they did it. | |
| And then the riots broke out. | |
| And I mean, the thing is, is I just feel like at this point They got their objection. | |
| I think probably when they reconvene Congress they'll hold the vote for the objections in the House and Senate. | |
| It will fail in both houses. | |
| Now it'll probably fail even harder because no one wants to vote in favor of the terrorists. | |
| And then they're just gonna very quickly breeze through the rest of this shit. | |
| I don't see any other objections happening. | |
| And when anyone brings up, hey, why didn't you object for Trump and totally stole an election? | |
| I'll be like, hey, we objected. | |
| It was in the record. | |
| It happened. | |
| I did it. | |
| I did my part. | |
| I fought the good fight for old Donnie Two Scoops. | |
| But I don't think... Yeah, and then something, something, extraordinary circumstances, something, something. | |
| Yes, exactly. | |
| And then Q Shaman took the fucking well of the Senate and declared himself Emperor. | |
| What were we supposed to do? | |
| Oh, and that's binding. | |
| Like, we have to go... He stood in the secret place and declared himself Emperor, so we have to abide by that. | |
| Yes. | |
| The Antifa super soldier that is Q Shaman, that guy, they're literally going through all of the various QAnon or MAGA rioters that they have on camera and they're trying to find things, like you said, the Dishonored tattoo and shit. | |
| They're trying to find things about these people that prove they're Antifa so they can try to excuse their bullshit. | |
| And the one thing that always makes me laugh about- Here's a picture of Q Shaman eating vegetarian. | |
| Not on my watch, you fuckin' hippie! | |
| Here's Q-Shaman doing some CrossFit. | |
| What are you, a fucking commie? | |
| Oh, this is gonna be so fucking awesome. | |
| Real Americans weight train five days a week, and you don't skip leg day, you pussy! | |
| I mean, that's where this is gonna go. | |
| I mean, it's just so funny that they're going to disqualify all of these people as being QAnon supporters, which is bullshit because they know they're QAnon supporters. | |
| And the other side of this is that Q is supposed to be this literal god-level omniscient intelligence operation that... we read the early Q-drops. | |
| They collapsed the nuclear testing facility of North Korea. | |
| They murdered the shadow government that controlled Kim Jong-un and set him free. | |
| They did all of these crazy things, but Q, the greatest military operation in the world, couldn't prevent, like, 15, 20, 30 anti-secret agents from infiltrating the MAGA protest crowd and storming DC? | |
| Where were the MAGA guys? | |
| No, no other MAGA people! | |
| Don't break into the Capitol building! | |
| Stop! | |
| This would be wrong! | |
| Q would never allow this! | |
| And also, on the other side of it, you have the people who thought that they did a great job today. | |
| They really crushed it. | |
| Like, this was definitely a Q operation and we really nailed it. | |
| And what did they do? | |
| They managed to get all their people together, they organized, they broke into a building, and then they just sort of, like, hung out. | |
| And they, like, took some stuff. | |
| And they took some pictures at Nancy Pelosi's secretary's desk. | |
| Ah, got her! | |
| Take that, Pelosi! | |
| We really showed you. | |
| And then the police were just like, hey, terrorists, could you please leave? | |
| And they were like, yeah, I feel like our message is done here. | |
| We really did it. | |
| Like, it's just like, OK, cool. | |
| Don't pat yourselves on the back for this big victory because they didn't really do shit Yeah, like it was like the weakest terrorism ever. | |
| I mean they took a life It's hard to tell like which like like who actually fired the bullet or whatever We just don't have that information as the time of this recording but like a life was lost So I guess technically like if that was a bad guy, they can consider it a minor win But aside from that, what did they do steal a podium take some pictures? | |
| Yeah Yeah, one big dumb photo op that can be used to prosecute them. | |
| Yeah, all they really did was just pants America. | |
| Yeah. | |
| And I don't really think that anybody who considers themselves a patriot should be, like, rooting for the fact that they just, like, revealed America's tighty-whities to the rest of the world. | |
| Because if you're, like, an aspiring terrorist that has an actual beef with America, like, because they, you know, caused an insurrection in your country and destroyed your life, like, you look at this and you're just like, I don't know, maybe terrorism's a little easier than I thought in America. | |
| It's still pretty easy. | |
| It's like, all we really have to do is just make sure that we get a white person on our side. | |
| A single white man can go anywhere they want in this country. | |
| We could probably just sneak a guy into Trump's bedroom if we wanted to. | |
| He would wake up and be disoriented for all the time it took for him to notice the guy was white. | |
| And then he'd be like, oh, what are you doing here, sir? | |
| And the thing is, is that the ultimate bit of that white privilege is Q Shaman, because this is a dude, again, dressed like a professional wrestler, and cops are just talking to him like he's a rational, normal human being. | |
| Can you imagine a non-white person dressed like Q Shaman trying to pull this shit? | |
| That guy would have been, like, thrown to the ground and handcuffed so goddamn fast. | |
| He would have been super shot. | |
| He would have been, like, Just shot so many times. | |
| Oh god, absolutely. | |
| I mean, someone was saying, like, how long would people have, how long would people, Black Lives Matter protesters have survived had they broken into Congress? | |
| Uh, how close would people waving an ISIS flag have lasted getting that close to the halls of Congress? | |
| Like, why did these people get into, like, the literal floor of the Senate? | |
| Why? | |
| And, again... Yeah, I mean, like, like, like, fucking Q Shaman. | |
| Q Shaman broke in there and got to ... | |
| ... | |
| Or like a f- like any- like any fuckin' sort of- any sort of non-Christian | |
| religious apparel Like, even a fucking yarmulke! | |
| Yeah, they would have invented new bullets for them. | |
| Yeah, I mean, it's so ridiculous that they had the run of the place. | |
| The cops were just sort of like, hey, guys, one person died. | |
| Let's keep the deaths below plural and everything will be cool. | |
| And you can go get your photo ops in the offices of various Democrats on the floor of Congress. | |
| And we'll just all work it out. | |
| We'll smooth it over. | |
| It's no biggie. | |
| It'll be cool. | |
| We're all good. | |
| We're all good. | |
| I mean, it's... | |
| Someone had the photo of a Black Lives Matter protest in Washington, D.C., and I think it was the Lincoln Memorial. | |
| There was a cop every six feet across the bottom step, and then above them, every five steps, there was another row of cops. | |
| There were four rows of cops, all in face masks. | |
| You couldn't see who they were. | |
| And they were just, it was like a military presence. | |
| It was making it incredibly clear, do not try anything because we are here to crush you. | |
| Yet, like, this thing was planned for at least a few weeks, if not a month, where Trump was like, hey, come to D.C. | |
| on January 6th for the attempt to prevent the certification of the Electoral College. | |
| And apparently we had, like, Andy Griffin or whoever was our one cop on the scene who was like, golly gee willikers, holy smokes, there's a lot of protesters here! | |
| And they just ran away and let them into the halls of Congress. | |
| We had to have our representatives and senators hide from the protestors for fear of bodily harm. | |
| American protestors? | |
| Yeah, American protestors. | |
| White protestors like you and me! | |
| Like, these were not foreign nationals in the halls of Congress, which again, would never have happened. | |
| Never. | |
| Just lazily let all these dum-dums walk in. | |
| There were cops taking selfies with them! | |
| I mean, like, there's video of, like, some of the protesters inside Congress Just getting a selfie with a cop. | |
| Just like, hey, Mr. Cop Person, let me take a photo to remember this day where we, like, literally tried to topple the American Republic, and you were okay with it. | |
| And the cop was like, sounds cool, bro. | |
| Bam. | |
| I can't smile because I'm wearing my mask because of the COVID. | |
| I remember a couple of years ago, like, Tom Brady scored some touchdown in some Patriots game. | |
| And there was a big kerfuffle because a couple of the refs looked like they were like high-fiving or whatever like after the play they like touched hands or whatever and it was just like oh yeah look at these corrupt ass refs they're like cheering for the enemy we've got fucking cops you've got police officers that are sworn to protect Like, this place and the citizens around it, from exactly this sort of bullshit, like, pallin' it up and yuckin' it up with these assholes, and, like, are we still gonna get that level of outrage at Paul Blart? | |
| Probably fuckin' not. | |
| And the reason is because, like, all this controversial shit, there's no real controversy. | |
| It's just white people angry that black people are angry that they're being murdered. | |
| You know what I mean? | |
| Like, like, all this controversial shit is nonsense. | |
| Like, people were pissed off at Tom Brady because he was the best. | |
| It was an irrational, like, thing. | |
| They were pissed off. | |
| They were just like, the rest are obviously in on it because he's too good. | |
| And then the other hand, it's like, well, these... | |
| ... | |
| And they trail off the way that I did, because they don't have anything else to add. | |
| Because, you know, at the end of the day, not all, but most racists are just too cowardly to admit what the real problem is. | |
| I just don't like blacks. | |
| Or browns. | |
| Or any other colors. | |
| That's like one of the things that's like always so weird to me is it's like white pride. | |
| It's like why are you proud of being white? | |
| It's like if you're not white and you have pride in your ethnicity, it's pride for like overcoming shit. | |
| It's pride for the fact that like you were dealt a worse hand than other people. | |
| It's celebrating Hitting a home run when you were born on third base. | |
| Right! | |
| Like, yeah, White Pride is literally, I was born, I was born playing life on easy mode. | |
| I get to play easy mode. | |
| Go me! | |
| Yeah, you're just like, yeah, I just got back from, uh, totally crushing through the fire and flames in Guitar Hero. | |
| It was on easy mode, I'm pretty great. | |
| And it's just like, oh, okay, well. | |
| It may have been kind of impressive there up until the end part where you revealed your Caucasian male privilege. | |
| And you know, we're not trying to virtue signal here or anything because we all happen to be white dudes or whatever. | |
| We just honestly believe that this disparity in the way that laws are enforced in our country is astonishing. | |
| Puts it into, like, a stark relief, right? | |
| Like, every time an incident like this happens, like, you know, when George Floyd got killed, it was the same sort of thing. | |
| It was just like, oh, right, we live in a completely different fucking world from people of color. | |
| It's just, like, not even close. | |
| Um, like, and it's not like we're actively trying that. | |
| It's just something that we're born with, and hopefully you grow to, like, acknowledge it and appreciate it and try not to use that power for evil. | |
| But it's just like, you know, today we got that shit, but, like, from, not because, like, A wife was taken from us, like another person of color was killed by the cops, but tonight it was just because, like, literally the police had the opportunity to do that same exact shit to some white people that were going crazy, and they chose not to. | |
| Which meant that they always could have chose not to, which means in instances where they choose to do it, they're making a choice. | |
| They're just like, yo, we are gonna go bust these Black Lives Matter protester heads. | |
| Like, we could chill, but what we're gonna do is bust some fucking heads. | |
| Yeah. | |
| We could let these Black Lives Matter protesters have an extra five or ten minutes to follow the curfew and get back to their cars and do stuff. | |
| Or we could yell disperse immediately and then start firing tear gas at them ten seconds later. | |
| That sounds much more fun. | |
| Or we could let this white dude in his minotaur helmet just walk around the halls of Congress all willy-nilly and not like, I don't know, throw him to the ground, cuff him, mace him, drag him out, banging his head against walls on the way out of the building. | |
| We could do one or the other. | |
| And when it comes to white Minotaur guy, he gets to have his photos that he will take to his grave as a celebration of his conquest of the American capital. | |
| And George Floyd is dead because we killed him over a counterfeit $20 bill because that's how much police value the lives of black people. | |
| That's why they literally named the movement Black Lives Matter. | |
| Please stop fucking killing us, you dumb pieces of shit. | |
| And again, like tonight, the people that were standing around waiting for the curfew to hit, and then the police giving them the wiggle room to make it back to their hotels and their homes. | |
| Some of those people, hours earlier, were people that fuckin' broke in and committed an act of, like, terrorism. | |
| And there are gonna be a lot of, like, conservative, like, people that are just like, Oh, if this is terrorism, what's the difference between this and the Black Lives Matter protests when that shit got out of hand? | |
| And, like, you know, your mileage is probably going to vary, but for me, the Black Lives Matter protesters were protesting reality. | |
| Like, they were protesting a thing that really happened, racial injustice resulting in the loss of innocent life, versus these Trump supporters who are protesting nothing. | |
| Like, they have no evidence to back up any of their claims. | |
| They've never had any evidence to back up any of these claims. | |
| If they had that evidence, all they would have to do was present it, and this debate would be over. | |
| Right? | |
| Like, if they had evidence of fraud in the election, and they could present that, like, Donald Trump has exercised every legal option available to him. | |
| If they had the evidence, it would have worked out. | |
| Either that, or the conspiracy is so vast and so deep that there's no way you can fight it. | |
| But, again, like, in my car in Hellworld, It's reality. | |
| And in reality, these people were protesting nothing. | |
| So, if they're not protesting anything, they're just breaking into a federal building and endangering the lives of others. | |
| And that's terrorism. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Like, bog standard, as we now say here. | |
| Uh, bog standard terrorism. | |
| They're protesting that their feelings are hurt. | |
| That's literally what they're doing. | |
| We're sad that Trump lost, so we're gonna throw a fit and storm the halls of Congress. | |
| Like, they're literally protesting sadness over their guy not getting enough votes. | |
| And Imagine if that shit had happened with, like, fucking Hillary supporters after Trump won. | |
| Like, conservatives would have demanded those people be hung and their bodies left to bleach in the sun as a warning to any future rebellions, that you will be crushed swiftly and devastatingly, and that the rule of law is absolute in America, and facts don't care about your feelings, and all that other bullshit. | |
| But These assholes have been allowed to literally have one, we're now on like what, a two-month pout since they called the election on like November 8th for Biden? | |
| I mean, fucking in Florida they were holding up signs saying sore loser men for the fucking recount between Gore and W when it was one state and 500 votes. | |
| This is like five states and like a hundred thousand votes and they're never gonna let it go. | |
| They're gonna take it to their grave that they got fucked. | |
| Because they just can't accept reality and they're a bunch of fucking miserable babies. | |
| Okay, well, I feel like, you know, it's going to be a weird podcast. | |
| It's probably going to be a shorter one for this week. | |
| I feel like, you know, we could just rant and rave about the events of the day until we're blue in the face. | |
| So I feel like we should probably transition to hopefully lighter, fluffier listener questions to take us out for what is probably going to be a shorter than normal podcast. | |
| But, you know, now I'm going to be the one who uses extraordinary circumstances. | |
| However, before we transition, I will just point out that, you know, back when the Georgia runoff race was in full swing, And up until just today, when it was called in favor of the good guys, we were, you know, out there banging the drum and telling you to vote blue, do whatever you can to get, you know, your Democrats elected to office. | |
| So if you remember anything about this day, if you remember anything about the Trump presidency, it should be this day. | |
| And when you remember this day, you should remember, yo, remember that time at the tail end of when the country sort of lost their mind and elected Trump into office? | |
| When a bunch of fucking Republicans stormed in to the Capitol and tried to undermine the fundamental underpinnings of American democracy. | |
| And I'm saying that now because that means that hopefully from now on, I don't have to tell you to go out and vote blue. | |
| If you're listening to this podcast, you should just vote blue. | |
| When people vote red, this is the fucking shit that's been happening. | |
| And even if you're the sort of person who doesn't like Joe Biden, as long as you voted for him, that's all that matters. | |
| Because now that President Biden is going to be in office, we can start working towards President Whatever better liberal you were hoping for. | |
| Like, you gotta walk before you can run, you gotta crawl before you can walk. | |
| Biden getting into office, you've seen the tremendous battle that this has been. | |
| Like today, CNN had coverage. | |
| Of like a routine event in every other election in American history, where, you know, the members of the House and the Senate or whatever, they get together to just be like, okay, who was voted president a few months back? | |
| They are president. | |
| And normally that's not headline news. | |
| Today, CNN was covering that shit before this fucking riot happened! | |
| And they were covering it because Donald Trump made it important because he's a conservative lunatic! | |
| And all of your conservative friends are also just... | |
| Like, bad, crazy people. | |
| Like, this is the real talk. | |
| This is your hard-to-swallow pill. | |
| Like, if after today you can still look at your conservative friends and fuck with them in a serious way because you think it's just a matter of ideological differences, well then you're just gonna have to square that with the fact that one of their ideological differences is they don't believe in the way that America works, even while they call it the greatest country in the world. | |
| They don't want it to be a democracy. | |
| All they want is some racist in the seat forever. | |
| I forget who actually said the quote, but they said that if conservatives cannot win democratically, they will not reject conservatism, they will reject democracy. | |
| I mean, that's really what this comes down to. | |
| The Republican Party exists exclusively to grab and then maintain power. | |
| And power means having power for the rich white people that run our country and to maintain that status quo until it is ripped from them kicking and screaming, which is literally what we're going through right now. | |
| As Elle said, This was supposed to be the most dumb, perfunctionary fucking meeting in the history of the world. | |
| They were supposed to bang it out in like 45 minutes. | |
| Then there was the announcement that there were going to be some dumb protests to make it maybe go like 4 or 5 hours before it was finally done. | |
| And we were going to have to cover this dumb, boring, procedural crap because Trump was trying to make it exciting. | |
| He was trying to turn it into a coup attempt. | |
| And that was the shit we were dealing with. | |
| We were dealing with people actually just looking at all the different little leverage points of American democracy and seeing if they could break any individual one of them. | |
| And they found out this time they couldn't do it. | |
| But who's to say, like, in 2024, if Biden won re-election and Republicans did own the House and the Senate, who's to say they wouldn't be like, you know what? | |
| Fuck it. | |
| We are going to object to the fucking Electoral College. | |
| We are going to fucking throw those votes out. | |
| We are going to install our guy as president and fuck Biden and fuck him winning because Congress gives us, we do have this leverage point in our actual constitution and we're going to use it this time. | |
| So enjoy your fucking dictatorship now, bitches. | |
| I mean, this is a real thing and like literally. | |
| It's a real scary thing. | |
| It's a real scary thing. | |
| And like literally every Republican from here until the end of time itself needs to be asked, like, When the next presidential election happens, if your party controls the House, will you let a Democrat be sworn in if they win? | |
| And you have to keep them on the record and you can't even trust them to say yes because they might be fucking lying. | |
| So it's like this is super dangerous and it's super worrying and Like, people need to take this seriously, and that's all there is to it. | |
| Anyone who wants to say, oh they really didn't mean it, oh they were just playing to the base, it's like, that might be true this time, who's to say it's gonna be true in four years? | |
| So fuck that shit. | |
| Like, these assholes should not be allowed anywhere near the levers of power fucking ever. | |
| So, yeah, that's all I got to say before we get to... So vote blue, you coward! | |
| You got anything to add during our rant segment there, Sarge? | |
| Yes. | |
| No, you guys were covering it. | |
| Let me ask you two a question. | |
| Do you think the Democrats move to abolish the Electoral College moving forward now that they have control of both houses? | |
| Both of Congress and the Presidency. | |
| Do I think it'll happen? | |
| I don't know. | |
| I'm just not educated enough on people's stance on the matter, but God, I would love for them. | |
| Man, if they could make that happen, that would be incredible. | |
| We would never see another conservative in the White House again. | |
| Ever, probably. | |
| The problem is that the Electoral College is actually part of the Constitution, so to get rid of it requires a two-thirds vote in both houses. | |
| And then like 37 states have to ratify it. | |
| I'm just gonna go hard nerd here for a quick second and we'll get to the listener questions but like my quick and dirty way to solve this is abolishing the Permanent Apportments Act. | |
| I think it was like 1941 or 1939 but it basically set the House of Representatives at a like a number and that's not a constitutional thing. | |
| The House can be as big or as little as we need it to be So you abolish that, and then you set the number of representatives each state gets to the lowest population state in the Union, which is like Wyoming, which has half a million people, and that gives California a lot more representatives, Texas a lot more, and it sprinkles it out, and that would make the Electoral College way more reflect the popular vote than it currently does now. | |
| And I think that's like the best end run around that. | |
| So that's my quick and dirty solution to the problem. | |
| Well, there we go. | |
| Sounds good to me. | |
| Whatever we need to do to get it so that way we, like, nobody should be winning the presidential election by 7 million votes and still being in debate as to whether or not they took it down. | |
| Yes! | |
| Or lose it by 3 million and still win. | |
| Right. | |
| Yeah, I mean, that shit is just bananas, and anybody with a brain in their head, I don't think can justify their way out of that one. | |
| Because it would require explaining to me why some random person in the middle of the country, in a town no one's ever heard of, why their vote matters more than mine. | |
| It's just like, our votes are supposed to be equal, right? | |
| And it's just like, well, why does that person have weirdly disproportional power to me, thanks to the electoral college? | |
| It's fuckin' whack. | |
| Anyway, I hope they get rid of it, or at the very least, get around it in Mike Raines' fashion. | |
| In seven of the last eight presidential elections, the Democrat has won the popular vote. | |
| And we've had two Republicans win in spite of that. | |
| So, I mean, that just goes to show you how ridiculous this shit is. | |
| And I really don't think a Republican can win the popular vote for the foreseeable future. | |
| Because, like, their main selling point is racism. | |
| And America is becoming less white every four years. | |
| So, like, get fucked, Republicans. | |
| Yeah, so, I mean, that, that, that, like, I'm not gonna fuckin' beat around the bush. | |
| That's why, that's why I hope to God that we can either get rid of the Electoral College or find a way around it, because, uh, like, oh no! | |
| A Republican never gets to be in the White House again! | |
| What a terrible thing! | |
| Or Republicans have to stop being so fuckin' racist! | |
| Yeah, or the Republican Party just cleans up its acts and just stops being the, the, the Christian racist party! | |
| It's just like, cool! | |
| You don't understand the teachings of Christ, and you hate your neighbors, so that's pretty fun. | |
| I love the Christian racist party. | |
| Well, I was talking with somebody earlier today, and I was just like, oh man, hopefully when the dust shakes out on this, we go from a two-party system to a four-party system. | |
| You have Democrats, super Democrats, Republicans, and then super Republicans. | |
| And the super Republicans are led by Trump, and they're the extra racist ones. | |
| And then the Super Democrats are led by, like, Bernie or whatever. | |
| And then the extra hippy-dippy ones. | |
| And that way we have the whole spectrum covered. | |
| Four parties. | |
| Pick your poison. | |
| But now, you have two types of poison on each end. | |
| I'm down for that. | |
| So, as Elle requested, we'll go to the listener questions now. | |
| And Matt Page kicks us off by saying, can you give me a rundown of the biggest players in the Q game and what their specialties are? | |
| No, thanks for your question. | |
| No, just kidding. | |
| Maybe where they come from, why people listen to their bullshit over others, like Lynn and Ron, folks like that. | |
| Is there a pecking order? | |
| I wouldn't, like, the pecking order is kind of based on like how... More of a sucking order than a pecking order. | |
| Oh, absolutely that. | |
| The pecking order is kind of based off like your tenure in the cult and like how many followers you have on social media. | |
| But like Lin Wood and Sidney Powell can cut to the front of the line because like they're lawyers on television lying to people so they have this massive audience that they can just tap into directly. | |
| And this past week it's been really funny watching Joe M and CJ Truth, two anonymous people that have been banned from Twitter, having a little pout fest on Parler because Lin Wood is getting too big for his britches. | |
| And it's just so funny watching the old Q Grifters get mad at the new Q Grifter coming in and just getting everyone's attention and just being the new hotness. | |
| And, um, really, uh, the people that don't really have anything going for them that are just like Q promoters, like all the old people, like in the Matrix, Joe M, Prayingmatic, all these guys. | |
| Their specialty is mostly just, I know QAnon! | |
| But like, Ron Watkins gets to be like, the computer guy! | |
| And I ran 8-kun. | |
| I was where you got all your Nazism and lolliporn. | |
| So like, if you have a specialty, if you have like some sort of like thing that allows you to be a quote-unquote expert in a field that you can then translate into a way to placate QAnon, that's good. | |
| Like, Jordan Sather claims to be a health expert and an anti-vaxxer who knows the truth about vaccines and all that kind of nonsense. | |
| What is the truth about vaccines? | |
| They work. | |
| Thanks for coming to my TED Talk. | |
| Yes. | |
| Boom. | |
| Nailed it. | |
| I was literally about to say the same thing. | |
| L with the Ken Jennings buzzer press just crushing me. | |
| But uh it was it's it's like that like praying medic his specialty behind the Christian thing is that he's basically just evil Mr. Rogers. | |
| If you watch his videos he's so boring and he goes through things so slowly but it's obvious that he worked on that shit to like pander to boomers and people that really need aggressive hand-holding and get through the q-drops. | |
| So like these people like find their niches and stuff and then they just work through it and that's... They're all just like scammers looking for an audience and trying to find it as best they can and that's really all there is to it. | |
| I really can't get beyond that without going into this for like another like half hour or so. | |
| We've talked about the high grifters, and we've talked about that in earlier episodes. | |
| I wish I could just, like, boom, pull it up and let you know which one, but if you go back in our old episodes, we've gone over it. | |
| I think in the early Hellworlds, like, one or two, we go over it. | |
| Yeah. | |
| TraplordFlecko says, which musicians aren't in the cabal? | |
| I can think of a few, but their playlists must be awful, like recent Kanye, Ted Nugent, and some country music. | |
| Well, Kanye's getting divorced. | |
| I have to think it's because he's a crazy lunatic. | |
| Well, remember, you can't really say that about Kanye because he's got a diagnosed mental health disorder. | |
| Oh, right. | |
| But Kanye is getting divorced because the Kardashians are part of the cabal and he's too pure for that. | |
| He's found the truth and that's why he's escaping them and their clutches. | |
| So we know we know Dee Snider's in the cabal. | |
| Yep, absolutely. | |
| I mean, honestly, the only person I could think of that I knew was 100% for sure not in the cabal was The Nuge. | |
| And our listener brought that up. | |
| And I happen to agree with the listener. | |
| I mean, based on the smattering of selections available to us, like, you know, new Kanye, wasn't it like Lil Wayne or somebody? | |
| Lil Pump. | |
| Lil Pump. | |
| Get rocked! | |
| So, New Kanye, Lil Pump, and The Nuge. | |
| It doesn't sound like a Spotify playlist. | |
| I don't want to fuck a rock, right? | |
| It turns out that the reason why Q celebrities are worse than Cabal celebrities is because Q is a conservative thing, and conservatism isn't really popular in the places in our country where culture happens. | |
| So, like, if you're interested in culture, you gotta kind of swing blue. | |
| And if you're interested in heritage... Hot takes here! | |
| Get your hot takes! | |
| Yeah, which is fuckin' heritage, aka the super secret code word for white pride. | |
| Then you swing red. | |
| And you get the nuge. | |
| And new Kanye. | |
| Now, my one question here is that country music is for patriots, so why does QAnon not grill Hootie? | |
| Because he was pop before he went country, so he had to have been part cabal at some point, or at least had seen the cabal's machinations, and now can sidestep that. | |
| Primarily, I'm assuming the answer to your question is because the first step to doing that is remembering Hootie. | |
| This is true. | |
| This is true. | |
| Wait, also, is Hootie black? | |
| Yes, yes. | |
| What? | |
| Is he? | |
| Wow, I don't know what Hootie looks like. | |
| Oh, I was thinking of Blue's Traveler. | |
| I was thinking of Blue's Traveler in my head. | |
| I was just like, I was like, wow, I was like, sorry, do you want to be living under a rock? | |
| Because for a hot minute there, Hootie and the Blowfish was like... No, I know what he looks like. | |
| I was just thinking of... | |
| Back with everybody! | |
| It's our Saturdays! | |
| Kind of a melancholy song, to be honest. | |
| I don't wanna be with you! | |
| I was just gonna let this thing just ride. | |
| I was just gonna let... Well, I can only do like six or seven seconds of it before we get, like, fuckin' DMCA'd. | |
| Hootie's gonna come at me. | |
| Hootie, no! | |
| No, Hootie, no! | |
| Didn't give you permission! | |
| I hope to god that's a hoodie of the blowfish saga. | |
| I'm pretty sure it is, but I mean honestly towards the late 90s early 2000s there were just like a dozen popular bands that were just sort of like barely opening their mouths to sing through their shitty pop music. | |
| Uh, thank you for that. | |
| Even Kanye was doing it back when he cut that track through the wire. | |
| But that was old Kanye, so it was still good. | |
| Yeah. | |
| He was like, yo motherfuckers, I can nut open my mouth and do it too. | |
| Pretty birthday party, Kanye. | |
| So thank you, TraplordFlecko. | |
| GrifterTracker asks, what's Ron Watkins' endgame? | |
| He's trying to get on OAN. | |
| He's trying to get better at it. | |
| An entire Wagyu suit. | |
| No one's going to tell him that if you're just wearing top-to-bottom Wagyu leather, you're essentially just cow cosplaying. | |
| Then somebody will tell him that, and he goes on to be king of the furry fetish community. | |
| He's going to be everyone's leather daddy. | |
| Leather Daddy Ron Watkins. | |
| That's what I'm all about. | |
| You know something is juicy when it gets my grades to just whisper softly to itself, oh god. | |
| Were you picturing Ron Watkins in a sexy leather daddy cowl? | |
| No, I was actually reacting to the gif from our next question that you answered, which is what made me say that. | |
| Wow, way to jump it. | |
| Well, now I demand that you picture Ron as Leather Daddy. | |
| Oh, I do. | |
| Oh my god, it's so erotic. | |
| You have no idea. | |
| Dude, he's putting the beef back in Wagyu Beef, baby. | |
| Oh, he really is. | |
| I'm just imagining Ron Watkins in this crazy overdone suit with just a massive codpiece. | |
| It's gonna be so good. | |
| Oh man, I'm just imagining Ron Watkins getting launched out of the airlock among us style and then struggling into a fetal position while he dies in space. | |
| Floating end over end. | |
| Like in that treehouse of horror in the Simpsons where they eject Bill Clinton and Bob Dole into space and they just like, they like kick and scream for like all of half a second before just like floating off in the fetal position. | |
| That's 5 seconds. | |
| But he's wearing sexy leather jams. | |
| And the best part is, nobody can come at me for trying to incite violence, because I don't think we have enough reach to be in contact with anyone that has the technology to launch Ron into space. | |
| But if you do, and you do decide to do that, keep my name out of it. | |
| You were QAnon, you were not Antifa. | |
| You were the other side. | |
| Even though I have appeared at numerous rallies as the Antifa shaman with my hammer and sickle face paint and my Viking helmet, I am obviously a stealth MAGA supporter. | |
| Yeah, I need to cover my bases in case, like, Elon Musk is listening to the podcast, and when he's not calling people that get trapped in mines pedophiles, he decides he wants to develop, like, a fucking Gauss cannon that can launch a race into space from planet-side, and he's just like, like, I just picture him, like, in his fucking, like, I don't know, like, egg, whatever Elon Musk sleeps in listening to the podcast, and just, like, brainstorming an idea to launch a race into space. | |
| It's a Tesla-shaped racecar bed. | |
| Nailed it. | |
| But yeah, what was the question again? | |
| What would Ron Funches look like if he was dressed like a leather daddy? | |
| Yes, that was exactly the question. | |
| I'd much rather picture Ron Funches dressed like Leather Daddy than Ron What's-His-Name. | |
| Ron Q. Old Ronny Q. Old Ron Q Wagyu. | |
| QA Ron, as we like to call him in the community. | |
| Nope. | |
| I'm changing that. | |
| I'm whipping out my Big Adventures in Hellworlds dick and I'm changing his name to Ron Q Wagyu. | |
| That's gonna be his stage name. | |
| He's like Bang Bang Bart. | |
| More of him to love. | |
| Yeah, more of me to love, baby. | |
| Excellent. | |
| Thank you for the question, Drifter Dragger. | |
| The aggressive derailment of the podcast as a result thereof. | |
| APH asks, what card comes after the Pence card? | |
| Oh, I answered this one on Twitter. | |
| I didn't know this was part of our answering on the air response. | |
| My response was Blue Eyes White Dragon, but the response I actually wanted to post was Pot of Greed. | |
| But I didn't know Twitter doesn't have any Pot of Greed GIFs. | |
| Wait, I missed this one. | |
| What's going on? | |
| And then someone below you posted Exodia. | |
| Yeah, that's how it goes. | |
| In the order of operations of card. | |
| Race card, Pence card, Blue-Eyes White Dragon, Exodia. | |
| And somewhere in there, Pot of Greed. | |
| If only any of us knew what Pot of Greed does. | |
| Yes. | |
| What does it do? | |
| This is my Pot of Greed! | |
| When I play it, it allows me to draw two cards from the top of my deck! | |
| I play Hootie in attack mode! | |
| His barely intelligible mumblings will soothe your monsters to sleep! | |
| Hootie slept my monsters, what the fuck? | |
| Thanks for the question. | |
| Sorry, we're all over here just giggling, thinking about a Hootie and the Bloopers ex-Yu-Gi-Oh! | |
| mashup. | |
| See, this is why I wanted to do listener questions today, after our fucking just hour-long Like, instead of our hour-long touchdown celebration, our hour-long fucking funeral dirge for democracy in America, I wanted to spice it up here towards the end with some good old-fashioned listener questions. | |
| I'll just slap Abby, because we've been following all this nonsense all day. | |
| Also, Mikey G asks, have I been not following Lin closely recently, or did he seem to amp it up a bit since being called out by Joe M.? | |
| Well, I mean, excitingly, there's a third season of His Dark Materials coming out, so maybe he'll get to prove himself in that as the Han Solo type that he was miscast as. | |
| You know, I never really believed him in that role. | |
| I kind of checked out of that show, but I'm glad the guy's getting work. | |
| Wait, who are we talking about again? | |
| I don't know that Lin's really upped his game since being called out by Joe because Lin's out of his fucking mind. | |
| I mean, that's really all there is to it. | |
| Yeah, that guy is extra double crazy. | |
| He's just working the Q grift so hard. | |
| That, I mean, there just comes a point where you get high on your own supply doing this shit, and you rewire your own brain. | |
| And, uh, there's, like, his other, the other people, his partners in his law firm have, like, video, or they have, like, tape of him saying he's God. | |
| Like, he is, like, obviously not mentally well, but he also sees QAnon as this massive grift. | |
| So he's just going hard at it because he thinks it's a get-rich-quick scheme. | |
| And those always work out good. | |
| Never anything goes wrong when you try to... Hey Mike, you can't spell Get Rich Quick without Q. This is true. | |
| This is true. | |
| So, thank you for that. | |
| Bobby Ellis, Fear is the Mind Killer, says, who ends up replacing Q? | |
| Even if he drops something else, it seems like he's slowly fading away for good. | |
| So who, like, takes over the movement? | |
| R. Yeah, I was about to say R. Or N. R, N, Q. Finally, the rise of Nanon. | |
| There's going to be a power struggle and there's going to be a winner at the end of this thing. | |
| Because, like, back in the day, Glenn Beck was the nutty conspiracy lunatic. | |
| Then Alex Jones, like, took the crown from him. | |
| Well, I mean, like, once he's out of office, assuming he's not behind bars, can't it just be Trump? | |
| Do they even need Q anymore? | |
| They really don't. | |
| You would imagine that after this bullshit, like, Trump has to be just, like, done and dusted in the sense that, like, conservatives that want to have power for any amount of time longer than, like, a few years are going to have to distance themselves from him. | |
| So, I mean, and now that he's not going to have his shit tied up in the actual presidency, like, he can just seize the reins of this, like, ridiculous machine that was built for him and just fucking steer the Q ship directly up One American News' ass to become Trump News Network. | |
| And then their online branch can just be, his ramblings, he's the new Q! | |
| Oh, is that your theory? | |
| He does, like, a Dan Marino? | |
| He's retired now, so he just gets to go be a shitty pundit somewhere? | |
| Yeah, I mean, whether or not you believe he's a good one, Trump has, at his heart, always been, like, a businessman. | |
| Like, you know, good or bad. | |
| Like, he likes doing business, and if some idiot like me can see the obvious line of just fucking, like, going out On top in the minds of all of your cult of personality fan base, and then just transitioning that into like, you know, he's already got like, like OAN is essentially just like rectally probing him at any given moment, like Trump has to notice that, hey, like I could probably hitch my wagon to these guys, and together we could, you know, make money. | |
| Oh, I think that, like, as long as he was, like, prepped on QAnon by, like, Dan Scavino or Michael Flynn or Sidney Powell, and they just, like, told him, like, what dumb lines to say, he could absolutely become, like, the QAnon king and just, like, run that shit and just, like, let Flynn and Powell and Linwood and the other people who know how QAnon works just puppet master the shit out of him and just let him rake in all the bucks from these yobos. | |
| Oh, you're being ridiculous now. | |
| He's shown us for four years that he is impossible to puppet. | |
| He has the Office of the Presidency. | |
| There were so many awful, smart people trying to tell him the right thing to say for four years. | |
| He is un-puppetable. | |
| Like, being the president means you can't be puppeted, right? | |
| I mean, because at the end of the day, like, you know, you can have a Grima Wormtongue in your ear, but at the end of the day, like, if you're just going to rule the country based on your stupid orange whims, you're just going to do that. | |
| But we're taking away all of Trump's power, allowing him to just have the mindset of, like, this stupid man-baby demagogue that still probably behaves as if though he's got endless power, but in reality should, in theory, be more pliable behind the scenes, because Someone has to get in his ear and just be like, hey, you don't have access to nuclear missiles anymore. | |
| Nobody really gives a shit what you're saying, so let us sort of punch it up for you. | |
| I think he is unpuppetable. | |
| I feel like his Twitter is unpuppetable, but I feel like you could shine him up and put him... Because, you know, he wasn't like... You didn't really hear like, Donald Trump off the fucking rails filming The Apprentice, right? | |
| There was money to be gained from just sitting down and just playing his character, and even though there was controversy behind that shit, it wasn't like, Donald Trump being a diva or whatever. | |
| So I feel like, you know, his Twitter is probably the Wild West forever, but I feel like in terms of like getting him as an on-camera personality, you can probably polish him up if he thinks there's a buck in it, which there will be. | |
| Yeah, I mean, I just think that'll be very interesting, this, cause he, I'm sure he doesn't understand what QAnon actually is, and most of his tweets that are very, like, leaning into QAnon, I think Dan Scavino writes that shit for him, cause he knows what that audience wants to hear. | |
| And I just feel like they're gonna tell him, look, idiot, if you want, like, the big bucks, you've gotta say certain things. | |
| Cause like, uh, I remember after he won the presidency he was like giving us one of his like he did like because he all he ever wanted to do was campaign so he was giving like his post-victory uh celebration tour and he told the crowd one day he's like train the swamp i wasn't really a big fan of it but you guys cheered a lot when i said it so i said it waka waka | |
| Oh yeah, he's a one-man, very stupid, like, test room. | |
| He responds, yeah, he's just a seal that wants praise. | |
| Right, so I'm just saying, like, they'll tell him the lines that will pop the crowd, and he'll say them like a nervous wrestler trying to connect with an audience for the first time. | |
| I've never watched a single episode of The Apprentice. | |
| veteran of the FW Hall So I mean it's like like that's like what he's gonna be | |
| kind of doing He'll be like my fellow Americans the storm is upon us | |
| I've never watched a single episode of The Apprentice. Did he come off as cogent like? | |
| He's with with editing when he's not forced to be in front of reporters that just badger him | |
| Does he come off as like not a rambling? | |
| like senile Demagogue? | |
| Well, that was a long time ago. | |
| He was, like, fine. | |
| Like, I will raise my hand and admit that I'm part of the problem. | |
| I watched a couple seasons of The Apprentice. | |
| I'm part of the reason why America fell into ruin. | |
| And it was, like, dumb, light, fluffy entertainment. | |
| It was fine. | |
| Trump, by all... I mean, he did all he was supposed to do. | |
| Set the stage for the task and then he would declare a winner and a loser and then he would like yell at people and fire somebody and that was that was it I mean it was he he was a perfectly cromulent like talk game show host uh and the live shows he wasn't bad at but again that was a long time ago and I don't know how much of his mind he still has. | |
| Yeah I guess I guess I forgot that like all of my stuff is contingent on the fact like the like there's a chance that Donald Trump Mind is physically slipping away from him, in which case he might be just completely, like, he might just be completely untouchable in the sense that he just won't have a brain enough in his head to actually take advice from anybody. | |
| It's God-Emperor style. | |
| They need to take and install him on his golden throne and never let him talk again and just Feed psychics into him. | |
| I don't know. | |
| This metaphor all falls apart because it's deep 40k nerd lore. | |
| No, I just, I think the presidency has spoiled him to being coachable or bittable in any way. | |
| He is never not going to see himself as the president. | |
| I don't think he's going to let anyone tell him what to say. | |
| That's possible. | |
| I mean... Well, I hope you're right, because that should mean that he dies penniless in the gutter, because, like, if you're a producer of some sort of show or, like, platform that would be willing to make the dark exchange of money for letting Trump get his voice out there, you're gonna want him to behave. | |
| I mean, you know what you're buying, but you're gonna want to be able to polish up that turd in editing or whatever. | |
| Right. | |
| So, like, there's not really a lot of money to be made in just, like, Pointing a mentally failing Donald Trump at a microphone and just being like talk about whatever you want cuz Like you know that they have to stay on some sort of message to sell you something Yeah, unless what they're selling is Trump. | |
| I mean, I guess I guess the alternative is a cute like like Trump becomes the new Q and he just becomes like the Ronald McDonald of racism. | |
| He's been selling racism for years now. | |
| That's always been his brand. | |
| He's saying the quiet parts loud, but putting just enough spin on it. | |
| It's not racism, he's telling it like it is. | |
| Oh, I love that shit. | |
| I love telling it like it is. | |
| Yeah, that is the rallying cry of Oh, you want somebody to tell you how it is? | |
| Here's how it is. | |
| I've got pizza waiting for me, so let's move this one along. | |
| Well, alright, as we're heading out, there's an audio medium, so we're in here in a Zoom call sharing this, and I have to call Al out. | |
| His camera's been angled down a little this whole time, so it's like I've been talking to Robocop. | |
| I just see the nose down. | |
| I just wanted to let everyone know about my fun time with Robocop, Al. | |
| Yeah, Robocop is great. | |
| When he saves that woman from being raped, he is immediately woke enough to report it to a rape crisis counselor. | |
| I remember being astonished by that. | |
| It was like 1988. | |
| He was like, Ma'am, you have been through a traumatic experience. | |
| I have been in contact with a rape crisis counselor. | |
| I was like, Damn, RoboCop! | |
| You woke as fuck! | |
| So, RoboL or JudgeL, depending on how you want to slice it, has been our guest here. | |
| Contractually mandated pop culture references. | |
| Our final question before El gets his pizza is Brendan Sewell asks, how likely do you suspect that it is that QAnon will immediately pivot to pressuring McConnell to not seating Ossoff and Warnock due to Election irregularities and thus trying to elongate the time they hold the Senate majority. | |
| I think they would do that if they didn't think that McConnell was totally swamp at this point because they were really mad at McConnell for calling Biden president-elect and Harris vice president-elect after The Electoral College certified in December. | |
| And then today, right before the riot happened, McConnell was in the Senate and he was like, y'all motherfuckers are fucking morons. | |
| What the fuck are you doing? | |
| Trump lost. | |
| It wasn't close. | |
| This is bullshit. | |
| McConnell actually laid into the Republicans today. | |
| It was fucking scathing. | |
| And like I think that McConnell is actually like really furious about this shit because he doesn't want people like Marco Rubio and any other senators who are up in 2022 having to make a vote yay or nay on this shit and he saw this as a dumb uh short-sighted political stunt and he called it out so when the dust settles on all this crap and the Electoral College is certified McConnell and Pence are going to be like Public Enemy 1 and Public Enemy 1A. | |
| QAnon is going to fucking hate both of them so much because Pence didn't go along with the bullshit conspiracy theory that he could unilaterally steal the election for Trump, and McConnell called out the rest of the Republican Party for even going along with it. | |
| So, I don't think there's going to be a lot of hope in QAnon land that they're going to be able to tug on old Mitch's heartstrings and get him to see the light. | |
| I don't think he's an idiot like Trump. | |
| I give Mitch McConnell credit for being kind of smart, and I don't think he'll, like, Hugh non-pressure won't mean anything to him. | |
| I mean the other thing I give Mitch McConnell credit for beating the hare in that race | |
| Yes, I mean the thing about McConnell is that he just won another six-year term he's 78 years old | |
| He's not running again until 2026 and he'll be 84 So he'll either not run again or if he does he knows he's | |
| going to die in office In that term unless he actually makes it past 90 which when | |
| you're the rather obese jowly creature that is Mitch McConnell. I don't think 90s | |
| in your cards as it were. | |
| I mean, if that guy lives to 90, his fucking jaw is going to recede into the rest of his head to the point where he's going to look like See Montgomery Burns or a Skekski. | |
| Yes! | |
| So yeah, I don't think that QAnon's going to be doing anything with him because I think that they're going to be like, we're going to primary McConnell! | |
| Then they're going to find out they can't do that. | |
| Then they're going to be like, we hate McConnell! | |
| And just make edgelord memes of him for the next six years or until he either resigns or sheds his mortal coil, as it were. | |
| Well, and thank you for your questions, listeners. | |
| Always a pleasure. | |
| So that I can get to my delicious pizza that is waiting patiently for me upstairs, I'm gonna go ahead and drive this fucking car out of this nightmare stretch of hell world that we found ourselves in. | |
| Take us home, Robocop. | |
| So, as always, thank you for supporting the podcast by listening. | |
| If you can, go ahead and spread the word. | |
| If you think you know other people that might like our brand of being angry about politics while also talking about TV shows and other properties from 30 years ago, go ahead and tell them where to find us. | |
| Where you can find us is on Patreon at PokerPolitics. | |
| That's where you can go to toss us some of your money if you think that we're worth that. | |
| Or you can follow the podcast in general slash Mr. Mike Rains at PokerPolitics on Twitter. | |
| You can find myself And Sarge on Twitter, at hellworldsarge and hellworldl, backwards respectively. | |
| And as always, I have to mention that the O in the word world is spelled with a Q, and not an O. | |
| If you have money to toss around, but you don't want to toss it to us white jerks, go ahead and toss it to love146.org, who are out there doing the good work that the Q supporters claim to be doing, helping to keep children safe from those that would prey on them. | |
| And I always forget, what Reddit is that part of, Mike? | |
| QAnonCasualties. | |
| QAnon Casualties is the Reddit if you happen to know anybody that is deeply entrenched in that QAnon stuff and you want to throw them a lifeline and try to get them some help to get out of it because QAnon is a doomsday cult just like all the other ones. | |
| QAnon Casualties is the families that are dealing with QAnon. | |
| If you know someone in QAnon who wishes to try to leave it the subreddit is recovery with a Q instead of a C in the word recovery. | |
| Oh, shit. | |
| See? | |
| It's like Inception. | |
| This is why we keep Mike around, because he's more in touch with the community than I am. | |
| I'm just better at doing an outro. | |
| So, unless either of my illustrious co-hosts have anything to add, I believe that's our show for this January 6, 2021, the year where a couple of yahoos tried to do another Civil War. | |
| So, once again, for Mike Rains and Sarge, this is L, signing us out with our weekly catchphrase, Good Speed, Patriots! | |
| That's for Cam Newton this week. |