SCOTUS says no to the Kraken and Texas. QAnon holds out hopes for things that will not happen and the guys argue about cakes, pies, and pizzas. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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| Hello, everybody, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld. | |
| I am your host, Mike Rains, a.k.a. | |
| Polkurt in Politics, and I am joined, as always, by Sarge. | |
| Hello from the internet. | |
| And the mysterious Elle. | |
| Hello my beautiful babies! | |
| So this week we have more confirmation of Joe Biden's victory over Donald Trump in the presidential election. | |
| This seems like a very bizarre thing to keep having to say, but because we are dealing with deeply delusional people who refuse to accept reality, more and more confirmation needs to be added each and every week. | |
| let them know that they've lost. | |
| And their response to this is, Ah, you're falling into our trap even more! | |
| Mwahahahaha! | |
| I know when I'm out of food in my refrigerator, I have to go and look in it at least seven times | |
| to confirm that I need to go grocery shopping. | |
| Yes, this is what QAnon is doing. | |
| They are looking for food in the empty refrigerator and empty cupboards and then assuming that they have won the game of having a lot of food because reasons. | |
| They don't actually know how why they've won but they know they won Because they don't trust the refrigerator. | |
| Oh god, don't trust the refrigerator. | |
| What you should trust is the plan. | |
| This food metaphor is weak. | |
| I'm just gonna say it. | |
| I'm coming in hot this week. | |
| This food metaphor is not doing it. | |
| All right, all right. | |
| I'm gonna call you out immediately. | |
| What's your better metaphor? | |
| Uh, well, how about going into our content warning and that will safely give me a time to think of a better one. | |
| That sounds like a wonderful plan. | |
| So first of all, here's a content warning. | |
| Content warning. | |
| The Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in depth about QAnon, which means we have to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people. | |
| Listener discretion advised. | |
| So now that you know what you're getting into, and it seems like, again, more and more people are getting into this, which I am incredibly appreciative of, we can talk about what we're doing. | |
| And if you're supporting us, please go to PokerPolitics... Patreon.com slash PokerPolitics to help us out, kick us a few dollars, help us improve the sound quality of the podcast, and all that other good stuff that's needed to make this not the DIY, just slapdash operation that we currently are. | |
| Yeah, dude, do you hear this podcast right now? | |
| Couldn't it sound so much better? | |
| Aren't you thinking to yourself, man, what a bunch of unprofessional slugs these guys are? | |
| Do you hear this podcast? | |
| No, that's a real question. | |
| Do you hear it? | |
| Can you hear us? | |
| We don't know! | |
| Are you talking to me? | |
| No, I'm talking to our audience. | |
| I was like, what the fuck? | |
| Well, yeah, I guess if I'm asking the question and they can hear it, that would be a little ridiculous for them not to. | |
| You know, it's rhetorical. | |
| Way to be a dickhead about it. | |
| Anyway, the point is, we were recording through Zincaster, a website that was great for two whole recordings, before it turned into a flaming crater before our very eyes. | |
| So this is the opposite of an endorsement for Zincaster.com. | |
| If they want to holler at me to get this rescinded, they can provide me with a website that fucking works. | |
| In the meantime, we're recording on Audacity again, and since none of us are sound engineers, this is the recording quality you get this week, folks. | |
| And if it sounds like shit, and if you can hear a dog barking in the background, all of these things can be fixed by supporting us with some of your shekels. | |
| Yes, exactly. | |
| We will hire an audio engineer and we will kill that dog with your money. | |
| That's what we really want you to think of when you give us money. | |
| No, we don't have copyright money. | |
| You gotta stop singing. | |
| I mean, my rendition is so bad that it can hardly be considered something worth suing us over. | |
| It's parody best. | |
| You feel it's transformative? | |
| Yeah, I'm transforming it from a song that makes everybody sad and weepy to a song that made Mike, like, almost die on our Zoom call. | |
| We are so far off the rails, but I love it. | |
| Anyway, if we're not worthy of your money, you can donate your money to love146.org, an organization that actually does all the shit that QAnon claims that they're trying to do in trying to combat child endangerment and abduction and child bad stuff. | |
| The stuff that requires us to put a content warning. | |
| The beginning of our podcast. | |
| Yes, exactly. | |
| Either give us your money, or give your money to love146.org, or give your money to the Democrats in Georgia until that... that's still happening, right? | |
| I'm not behind on that. | |
| January 5th is when that happens, so... January? | |
| Yeah, we're still going. | |
| We're still going on the runoff, so yes, give Democrats in Georgia your money, please and thank you. | |
| And it is, like, it is working because QAnon has said they're not going to vote in that already rigged election. | |
| What's the point? | |
| Yes. | |
| Good. | |
| Please don't. | |
| Oh, it's so beautiful that, like, all, I mean, Lord knows what the reality is because the polling was so off in the previous election, but all the polling shows this to be a razor thin election. | |
| So any amount of sand being thrown in the gears by QAnon to hurt the Republicans is most welcome. | |
| So yes, please continue to tell your audience that this election is rigged and they have no need to vote because it won't be counted anyways and just stay home. | |
| Stay home, Republicans. | |
| Stay home, QAnon supporters. | |
| Don't be a party to this farcical rigged election. | |
| It's bad and you should hate it. | |
| Yeah, can't win, don't try. | |
| Exactly, exactly. | |
| Never has Homer Simpson said more succinct and brilliant wisdom than that. | |
| We already jumped into the news, do we just want to play the intro? | |
| We might as well do that, yes indeed. | |
| It's time for Q's in the News. | |
| What's everyone's favorite death cult been up to this past week? | |
| It's time for Q's in the News. | |
| So the first thing that happened after our last podcast was the big Texas Supreme Court case happened where they were going to flip all those states that were rigged back to Trump and win this thing and you liberals are going to be crying tears when ACB and Clarence Thomas and Alito and all those good, honest conservatives on the bench overturned this election. | |
| And the Supreme Court unanimously said, no, we're actually not going to touch this with a 10-foot pole. | |
| You can go fuck yourself, you morons. | |
| Peace out. | |
| Boom. | |
| We're out of here. | |
| Finally, the QAnon and Donald Trump supporters can stop with this nonsense. | |
| It's finally over, I'm assuming. | |
| No, no it's not. | |
| It will never be over. | |
| Why is it never over? | |
| It will end on January 20th at noon and not a second sooner. | |
| The one thing that was kind of funny, and some people were kind of wigged out about this, was allegedly in the vote it was 7-2, but That dissent by Alito and Thomas is because those two guys are crazy and they think that any hot state-on-state action lawsuit is something the Supreme Court must listen to. | |
| Not that they have the rule in their favor, not that they have to actually do anything about it, but those two guys are just of the opinion that the case has to be heard. | |
| And the other seven were like, no, we don't have to hear this shit. | |
| Fuck off. | |
| Nor should we. | |
| And Alito even said in his dissent that, like, look, I wanted to hear this. | |
| I wasn't going to rule in your favor, but I wanted to hear it. | |
| So, like, even the quote-unquote two dissenters were like, nah, go fuck off, you morons. | |
| Just drop dead. | |
| So, um, QAnon... Again, I love how excited these conservatives and Republicans were to immediately take this state issue to the federal level. | |
| Yes. | |
| I could not wait To get the federal government involved. | |
| It's fucking hilarious. | |
| Yeah, the party of state's right, the 10th Amendment absolutionists were just like, yeah, it's totally cool that Texas will just stick its dick into Pennsylvania's business and be like, hey, Pennsylvania, you're going to do things the way we like, or you're not allowed to play ball anymore. | |
| And it was like, yeah, that's totally cool. | |
| The federal government should totally do that. | |
| States should be allowed to just, like, literally boss other states around in order to make Trump win. | |
| Because that's in the Constitution. | |
| Our guy gets to win. | |
| Yeah, I mean, where does it end? | |
| Can I, like, petition for people in my state, like, for the leaders in my state to sue another state because they're doing shit I don't like? | |
| Right, exactly. | |
| I've got some grievances with some states. | |
| Let me tell you that. | |
| First of all, Pennsylvania, I'm just gonna say it, the Philly Steak and Cheese, it's overrated. | |
| It's not bad, it's just overrated. | |
| And I feel like I should be able to get my state to sue Pennsylvania to make them stop acting like that's hot shit. | |
| I don't want them to take it off the menu, just stop pretending like it's something incredible. | |
| The Philly Steak and Cheese? | |
| Yeah! | |
| You can get a comparable, if not better, steak sub in the greater Boston area. | |
| I know because I've had them. | |
| And we can sue Illinois to stop talking about Chicago Deep Dish being this incredible form of pizza. | |
| It's really not. | |
| Yeah, it is an awesome pizza deviation. | |
| But that's not... I mean, come on. | |
| Anybody who thinks that that is classic regular pizza has never seen classic pizza. | |
| No, that's right up there with St. | |
| Louis-style pizza. | |
| I mean, St. | |
| Louis-style pizza differs in being awful. | |
| It's like both a much worse concept and I'm assuming a much worse taste than the deep dish tissue. | |
| Although, full disclosure, I've never had St. | |
| Louis style pizza. | |
| I do know that it's like, what if pizza was a cracker? | |
| You could have pizza anytime. | |
| I remember I was at uh Gen Con one year and they had like grilled pizza they had like a food truck that literally just had pizza being cooked on a charcoal grill and I had it and it did not knock my socks off but I was like hey it's a gimmick it was worth a try whatever Yeah, I could fuck with some grilled pizza, but I don't think grilled pizza guys out there banging the drum saying that it's the greatest and best type of pizza. | |
| Because, you know, some people in Chicago really be like that. | |
| Trying to tell people from, like, you know, the New York, Boston, like, you know, East Coast places where pizza's from. | |
| Trying to tell them what their fucking pizza is. | |
| Have you had Detroit style pizza? | |
| Your pizza is wrong. | |
| Truly, pizza is meant to be baked in a pie dish or whatever. | |
| It's like, uh... | |
| I don't know about that, guys. | |
| Pizza pie is more of like a misnomer. | |
| It's really supposed to be like a thing you can fold and funnel a bunch of grease directly into the palm of your hand. | |
| Yes. | |
| Yuck. | |
| Detroit-style pizza is good. | |
| What else we got? | |
| Oh, so the next deadline of QAnon's madness is coming up in two days when this ridiculous executive order that Trump signed in 2018 about, like, foreign interference in elections. | |
| The dream now is that the DNI, the head of DNI, is going to unclassify this report on the election That's going to show that it was just rife with Chinese meddling and all this corruption and fraudulent voting. | |
| And then Trump's going to arrest all the bad guys and this executive order is going to allow them to seize trillions of dollars of Chinese assets in America. | |
| And I've even seen some QAnon people talking about just literally giving that money to us as this bizarre prosperity scam. | |
| That sounds fun. | |
| Oh yeah, so the funny thing is, is now that we're actually closing in on this, this was more of a thing that came up like right after the Texas lawsuit got bounced. | |
| But now that we're two days away from this deadline, most of QAnon has kind of gone radio silent on it because they know it's a deadline that's gonna come and go with like fucking nothing happening and only the bigger morons are gonna bang their heads into that particular brick wall. | |
| So the new deadline that they want to focus everybody on and dangle in front of them like a shiny pair of car keys is on January 6th when the actual Congress in Washington D.C. | |
| meets to certify the Electoral College vote. | |
| And that is when some heroic Congress people are just going to flip-flip-reverse it Missy Elliott style in favor of Trump. | |
| Yes, exactly. | |
| They're going to be like, despite the will of the people, we're deciding to put Trump in because we know that Trump's steady orange hand, that is pretty small, needs to be the one on the wheel of the country. | |
| Yes, exactly. | |
| We need Captain Trump to navigate us through the storms and waves, to circumvent all krakens Only one man can do it, and it's Captain Trump. | |
| The admirable Trump. | |
| Admiral Trump, if I had my say. | |
| Inadmirable. | |
| An admirable Admiral Trump. | |
| He's gonna take us through the Looking Glass. | |
| On a pirate ship. | |
| I don't know, this is all... | |
| Yeah. | |
| Well, again, we're just trying to accommodate any QAnon people that are hate-listening to us by giving them lots of nautical references. | |
| Because that's what QAnon's all about, is just the high Cs and warding off scurvy by eating lots of oranges and shit. | |
| That's what they really care about. | |
| It's what's really important to them. | |
| Oh yeah, we've got a dynamite grog recipe coming up for our hate listeners. | |
| Oh, it's gonna be so good! | |
| That grog! | |
| I mean, you are going to make sure that your teeth stay soundly in your skull and that you don't succumb to ocean madness and murder your fellow compatriots because you've gone totally Looney Tunes over the endless nothing out at sea. | |
| And you don't see a giant talking cupcake puppet, like from the movie Cabin Boy? | |
| Or a mermaid on the ocean. | |
| I meant to say at sea, but I said at ocean. | |
| That's a thing, right? | |
| That's how words work. | |
| Or a mermaid you see at ocean that is actually just a whale's penis. | |
| You guys see that recently? | |
| No! | |
| What? | |
| Some people were doing studies or whatever. | |
| I don't know how recent this news is, but I saw a headline somewhere where they were just like, people believe that mermaids may have actually just been whale penises. | |
| because apparently sometimes whales will just get on their back and just like air out their dicks above the waves and like i guess if you're just like fucking like like mad with sea scurvy illnesses and having not had any sex with anything besides your hand in a hot minute or like the peg boy you're like just sunsetting over the horizon you're just looking out over the ocean you see like a Big, pink, glistening, human-sized things that can get into the ocean. | |
| Go back out now. | |
| You might play tricks on it. | |
| You're just like, oh man, look at that hot mermaid. | |
| None of your boys have it in them to tell you that it's just a big whale dick. | |
| Like an actual dork, right? | |
| That's what dork is. | |
| Dork is a whale penis. | |
| Yeah, actual dork. | |
| Yeah, you didn't know that the term dork means whale penis? | |
| No. | |
| This is all new information to me. | |
| And this is the sort of news that you come for when you listen to our Ostensibly About QAnon podcast. | |
| Right, exactly. | |
| We're like 15 minutes in and I'm already talking about whale penis. | |
| Yup. | |
| Strap in, folks. | |
| Yes, it's only downhill from here. | |
| So these idiots, they have the belief that something will happen at the meeting for the Electoral College in Washington DC on January 6th. | |
| Some of these people have come up with this insane belief That Mike Pence is allowed to literally declare by fiat what is a valid elector to cast votes and what is not. | |
| And that he will just strike down all the Biden electors from those controversial states, Pennsylvania, Nevada, Arizona, Georgia, etc, etc. | |
| He'll just literally tell them all to pound sand and go home and bring in the Trump electors from those states and they will cast their votes for Trump and Trump will win. | |
| Oddly enough, the Founding Fathers did not make it so that the Vice President was a dictator who got to determine who won elections and who didn't. | |
| It's really odd they didn't leave that in there, but they didn't. | |
| But since, he has been reprogrammed to be able to do that, correct? | |
| They went in under the hood and they chromed out Mike Pence, so now the new extra kitted out Mike Pence is going to show up like Adam Smasher and totally dominate the election for Trump. | |
| Imagine if it was like way, way back when the loser was the vice president, the Biden-Trump Presidency? | |
| Yes! | |
| Oh god, that'd be great. | |
| Oh. | |
| Oh, I mean, we would have had, well, we would have had the Trump-Clinton presidency. | |
| Yes! | |
| Oh, it would have been four years of literally everyone screaming that Hillary was gonna kill Trump and take the presidency. | |
| Oh, that would have made QAnon even more electric if Hillary was actually just, like, the exiled Vice President just, like, waiting for Trump to get dropped. | |
| Oh, could you imagine how they would have shrieked during impeachment? | |
| Oh my god, you're trying to install Hillary! | |
| You monsters! | |
| Hillary Clinton showing up in, like, tattered robes with her hood pulled up like that character did in The Mandalorian. | |
| I'm not going to spoil that yet. | |
| It was only a couple of weeks ago. | |
| I thought you were going to make a wrestling reference. | |
| But exactly like when that character showed up into the Mandalorian. | |
| You know who I'm talking about, guys. | |
| You get it. | |
| Yeah, we'll do our Mandalorian season recap in two weeks, so everyone get caught up. | |
| It'll be great. | |
| This all happened, this fantasy that's been happening, is not how the actual meeting of the Electoral College in D.C. | |
| works. | |
| What actually happens, and the only way an objection can actually be filed, is if at least one member of the House of Representatives and at least one Senator file a written complaint about a state or multiple states, who knows. | |
| And if that happens, when that state or states come up in the dock, in the queue of the reading of the votes, then the House and the Senate split off. | |
| They go to their respective houses, as it were. | |
| They are allowed to debate for a maximum of two hours, and then they vote to either accept or reject the complaint. | |
| And both houses have to vote in favor of the complaint for it to be heard, and then potentially for those electors to be removed. | |
| So the House is obviously never going to accept any of these complaints. | |
| The Democrat-controlled House will reject all of them, so all of these objections will fail. | |
| Literally, the most ridiculous thing that could possibly happen would be Mitch McConnell allows the Senate to object to every set of electors from every state, and we literally have to drag this out over 100 hours, and it takes like three days to admit that Biden won in Washington, D.C. | |
| Mike, you don't know what evidence they have. | |
| Maybe they'll finally produce evidence. | |
| Oh, that'd be great. | |
| That's when the laptop comes out. | |
| Oh, they're going to dump the golden server from Germany on the floor of the Electoral College. | |
| And the Democrats are going to be like, oh, we have to accept that. | |
| These objections are valid. | |
| Trump wins. | |
| Just to check in, you follow this more closely than I do. | |
| Do we have the names of those brave soldiers that fell? | |
| Who were they fighting? | |
| The Cabal? | |
| They were fighting the Cabal. | |
| They were fighting Gina Haspel, the CIA director, who apparently is not dead. | |
| Are these digital soldiers or are these real soldiers? | |
| These are real soldiers. | |
| These are the Navy SEALs that liberated the Golden Server from Frankfurt, Germany. | |
| Yeah, and then place it in the hands of the enemy, apparently, because we haven't heard hide nor hair of it. | |
| No, no, no. | |
| I only want to talk about soldiers if they're digital. | |
| That's a good point. | |
| We should only be talking about the brave digital soldiers. | |
| These are just like from that country song. | |
| These were American soldiers. | |
| I had to hear that song so many times. | |
| And they died fighting the cabal. | |
| Has a QAnon grifter put forward to make a QAnon video game yet where you're fighting the cabal? | |
| Uh, they haven't made a video game yet. | |
| I've seen like... Press Q to pay respects. | |
| Yeah! | |
| Oh god! | |
| There is nothing those idiots enjoy more than... Oh my god, Q plus teaches typing? | |
| That'd be great. | |
| It would be the easiest game in the world because all of it would be Q. Yes. | |
| Q of the dead? | |
| Q, typing Q of the dead? | |
| There's a deep cut reference. | |
| Q, paint? | |
| Yeah, how do you like that reference? | |
| Now we're just listing typing games. | |
| Let's go! | |
| Libris go! | |
| Oregon Trail with a Q instead of an O in Oregon. | |
| Quaragon Trail! | |
| Quaragon Trail. | |
| You have died of COVID, which is not a real thing, but the Cabal injected it in you to kill you somehow, someway. | |
| You've encountered a SPOOKY GROUP! | |
| Oh my god. But um... | |
| Um, so. | |
| So these objections actually won't work. | |
| And so the real thing that I wonder about this is how much is Mitch McConnell going to want to make Republicans show their asses on this whole thing? | |
| Because on the one hand, if you vote in favor of these objections and you're up for reelection in 2022, which a lot of Republicans in the Senate are, You open yourself up to being attacked for, like, hating democracy, being a dumb piece of shit, supporting QAnon, which are bad things in a general election, but if you vote against these objections and you just, like, let the process actually play out, you're opening yourself up to being primaried by just a, like, a psychopathic QAnon lunatic. | |
| Who's gonna like scream that you weren't MAGA enough for the great state of like Tennessee or Louisiana or wherever and you're going to have to like try to win a primary against someone who's just like literally spending three months weeping about Donald Trump having the election stolen from him and how he was the greatest man that ever lived and that you're fighting for Trump even though he's not in power anymore which uh In a midterm primary when only like psychotic hyper-galvanized people show up to vote, that's probably a good way to lose when you have all the MAGA nuts like turn out for the MAGA candidate who says you're not MAGA enough because you didn't vote to throw out Pennsylvania's electors because Dominion voting systems rigged the whole state and you know it, bro. | |
| They did. | |
| Yes. | |
| Everyone knows it. | |
| It's Dominiongate, right? | |
| Oh god, the Dominionist gate of all Dominion gates. | |
| The really funny thing about that is Philadelphia didn't use Dominion at all. | |
| Anywhere in Philadelphia. | |
| And that was like Biden's vault of votes that allowed him to overwhelm the rest of the state and win. | |
| Where was this ex-cop that pulled over an AC repairman? | |
| I believe that was Arizona. | |
| Houston. | |
| Oh, it was Houston? | |
| It was in Texas? | |
| Oh God, that's awesome. | |
| Yeah, some group that was like, for country and God, paid this guy like six figures to go find out the truth about voter fraud and he chased down an air conditioning repairman and held him at gunpoint demanding him to give him the information or the actual three quarters of a million fake vote ballots | |
| That he thought that guy was in possession of. | |
| And that guy was like, I don't have these ballots. | |
| I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. | |
| Please don't kill me. | |
| And they managed to resolve it in the peaceful way that the guy who held him at gunpoint had to acknowledge. | |
| That there wasn't in fact nearly a million illicit ballots in this guy's possession. | |
| That was a thing that didn't exist. | |
| In our hero's defense, if that fucking air-conditioning repairman didn't want to look so guilty, he wouldn't be walking around with, like, a robber-style domino mask and a giant sack bulging with what could be illicit votes. | |
| He's just, like, creeping around like the Hamburglar, like, don't mind me! | |
| Just comically large bag of votes, like two bulbs falling out of it. | |
| The bag actually is labeled, Illicit Votes for Biden-Harris. | |
| It's like the sack of money in every cartoon robbery. | |
| Yeah, he just pulls them over and there's just a giant bag stuffed with letters in the backs of this pickup truck and the bag is labeled, Legitimate Trump Votes. | |
| And the guy's just like, you know why I pulled you over? | |
| And he's just like, uh, don't mind me officer, I'm just going to the incinerator with these, uh... | |
| Business documents, wink! | |
| It really is the most frustrating part of all of these voter fraud conspiracies. | |
| Every one of them says that they did it in the dumbest way possible, just out in the open wearing Hamburglar outfits and stealing votes, literally, and in vans labeled Biden-Harris, stealing the election, and yet they still can't produce any evidence. | |
| Hiding in plain sight, Sarge. | |
| Where's the easiest place for Joe Biden to hide when he's personally out there rigging voting machines and in a van with his big dumb face on it? | |
| No one will ever suspect that. | |
| It's the ultimate double deuce. | |
| It's like Ocean's 18 up in here. | |
| Ocean's 46. | |
| Roger Stone was talking about the North Koreans sailing boats to Maine to drop off illegitimate votes for Biden-Harris. | |
| Which, if you think about the geography of that, is the most mind-blowing claim. | |
| They apparently hacked through the North Pole and the ice of the Northern Ice Cap in order | |
| to get to Maine to drop off their votes. | |
| And Trump's, all of his military intelligence, they just let a boat from North Korea make | |
| it to Maine undetected. | |
| They didn't think, hey, wait a minute, North Korea just launched a giant boat. | |
| It's coming to America. | |
| It just docked in Maine. | |
| Eh, it can't be anything. | |
| No problem. | |
| Let them conduct their business, whatever it is. | |
| It's Kim Jong-un's stealth boat technology, and they're using it to hand-deliver fake ballots to Maine. | |
| Yes. | |
| That's the big, grand cabal conspiracy. | |
| Yeah. | |
| And the best part about that is... You imagine that, like, a cabal with unlimited reach, and that's the sort of shit they have to resort to to get a vote rigged. | |
| They're just like, okay, the only way we can get this done, we gotta have them shipped in from North Korea by boat. | |
| It's like, dog, you know that planes have been around for hundreds of years at this point, right? | |
| Like, just use a plane. | |
| What are you talking about? | |
| No, the cabal has teleporters. | |
| That's how they get to their secret moon base. | |
| And it's just like, it's so ridiculous that like these are the people who pulled off 9-11, killed Kennedy, did all of these things, yet like having an air conditioner repair guy with a million votes in his van, that's what they needed to do. | |
| The North Koreans with boats in Maine. | |
| That's their play. | |
| They go from being the most powerful, evil, calculating monsters you've ever seen to just Boris and Natasha in the span of like five minutes. | |
| It's just the most ridiculous nonsense in the world where the World Trade Center is collapsing to the ground and then he's looking and going, now we've plotted big trouble for Moose and Squirrel. | |
| And it's just Like, how? | |
| How do you have these two separate visions of the cabal in your head at the same time and make it make sense? | |
| Because it's just madness. | |
| It's just so bizarre. | |
| Yeah, nothing ever quite jives, but they just won't see it that way. | |
| No, they never will because their enemy is their enemy and they're just going to hate them forever. | |
| Also, fleeing the ship like the rat that he is, Bill Barr, QAnon's greatest hero, decided to call it quits. | |
| Yeah, Billy Boy! | |
| He can't wait to get away from this shit now that it's extra official. | |
| He waited for the refs to come back from the sideline to give the call on the field is confirmed. | |
| It is a touchdown. | |
| Oh, cool. | |
| In response, I'm gonna resign. | |
| I'm getting out of here. | |
| I love that Bill Barr was like the most corrupt piece of shit in the Trump administration. | |
| And then Trump was like, tell him the election was rigged, Bill. | |
| And Bill was like, I can't do that. | |
| And then Trump was like, please leave. | |
| And Barr was like, you got it. | |
| No problem. | |
| That Barr was like 98% the criminal Trump wanted him to be but he couldn't give Trump that last 2% so now Barr can't be Attorney General for the last 5 weeks of Trump's administration. | |
| That was the sticking point. | |
| It would be hard for him to continue to be Attorney General when he just got disbarred. | |
| You know folks! | |
| God damn. | |
| Waka waka. | |
| Oh man. | |
| I need like a visual cue when you go for that so I can have the rim shot ready. | |
| The rim shot's not necessary. | |
| It's been replaced with you know folks. | |
| I've seen people start to type that out as the button on their bad jokes on the internet. | |
| I love it. | |
| Like the first time I saw somebody literally type out like folks comma and then nothing else at the end of a bad joke I was just like beautiful. | |
| The world's come to a great place. | |
| Nature is healing. | |
| Who said 2020 was all bad? | |
| It was good for that button on a joke and for the phrase, you'll love to see it. | |
| Everybody started saying that shit at the exact same time. | |
| And you know what? | |
| You'll love to see it. | |
| Yes, you really do. | |
| You really do. | |
| I am tickled pink that Bill Barr has had to reside with this. | |
| We're wearing garbage time anyway. | |
| Yes. | |
| The ramifications are not that massive, but it still is just really funny to watch all these people clear more room on their face for some egg. | |
| They're just like, oh, I wiped off this cheek here. | |
| You may deposit more egg directly onto my face. | |
| And the best part about this is is QAnon is like dragging up his replacements who I can't even name and can't pick out of a police lineup but I saw like like the deputy of the now Rosen's like the acting attorney general and he has like a deputy acting attorney general under him And, like, I saw some QAnon people, like, freaking out about this acting attorney-deputy guy. | |
| And they literally had, like, a meme of him with, like, the Terminator under his revealed flesh. | |
| And they were just like... And I'm like, the need, the frantic need for disposable heroes, even now in the dying hours of the Trump administration, is so great that you have QAnon going, ACT THE ATTORNEY GENERAL, BOB! | |
| He's the one that's gonna bring down the cabal! | |
| Look at my Terminator meme! | |
| Wasn't there a movie with Tony Danza where he's just some, like, regular schlub, but he gets called up to kick field goals in the NFL? | |
| God, I can't remember the name of it right now. | |
| Yeah, no, the Trash Picking Field Goal Kicking Philadelphia Phenomenon. | |
| Wow, that is a great pull if that's what that's called, because that title is insane, and yes, boom, that, like, that is the reference I just made. | |
| Nailed it. | |
| My brain is a worthless pile of garbage. | |
| In that movie that I have already forgotten the name of, the field goal picking, trash kicking, | |
| Yes! | |
| of place. | |
| Ha ha ha ha! | |
| Yeah, it's just so amazing that I really thought, I stupidly... | |
| I mean, they're clearly very desperate for heroes and we should be those heroes for them. | |
| That's what we need to do. | |
| We need to just hard pivot. | |
| We're no longer anti-QAnon. | |
| We love QAnon. | |
| We can't get enough of QAnon. | |
| and please subscribe to our Patreon. | |
| I mean... | |
| We will lie to you so hard for the remaining five weeks and then try to come up with a spin after Biden gets in. | |
| I can make up gibberish. | |
| I can make up way cooler gibberish or I could just bring up gibberish that other people might be making up like the former Israeli space defense minister or whatever saying | |
| that like there's a fucking galactic federation the earth has been contacted by but politely | |
| asked to not be part of they're like dear dear donald trump of all people we are | |
| aliens we exist we ask you to not tell people about this because it will blow their stupid minds | |
| and donald trump is just like yeah i can keep that secret i'm the sort of guy who can | |
| keep a secret like this yes i saw so many like like intelligence professionals they're just deeply | |
| worried that as soon as trump is out of office he's just gonna start selling our secrets oh | |
| Oh, of course he is! | |
| I mean, it's gonna be the ultimate- We'll never get into the Galactic Federation that way. | |
| No. | |
| No, we will never be- Somebody send them Gal Gadot's Imagine video. | |
| That will let them know what we are about in 2020. | |
| Send that to the Federation to have them say that we can't be in. | |
| Such a heartwarming gesture that everybody shit all over! | |
| Because it sucked! | |
| And I get it! | |
| It sucked! | |
| Most of those people can't sing a fucking lick, but come on man, her heart was in the right place! | |
| The Bledians will never accept us until we accept Wonder Woman into our hearts. | |
| That, I think, is the lesson of 2020. | |
| They're aliens! | |
| What are the odds they've heard the original version? | |
| They don't have anything to compare it to! | |
| Maybe they think it's awesome! | |
| Was that on the satellite we sent out? | |
| Oh my god, was it? | |
| Then I would be the one with egg on my face. | |
| They just show up with this golden disc and they just throw it down on their heads. | |
| We liked the original much better. | |
| You're shitting all over the beetles' legacy, you fucks! | |
| They're just like, but what about all the other stuff that we're doing? | |
| And they're just like, that's irrelevant! | |
| The beetles are forever! | |
| We have an entire alien civilization just addicted to the beetles. | |
| They've all just got the fucking Ringo cut. | |
| They all just look like sexy beetles. | |
| So great. | |
| But their bodies are just grotesque tubers with tentacles sticking out of them. | |
| They're going to play this clip when I am fucking put up for, like, you know, being alien racist of the Tribunal of the Black Federation. | |
| They're gonna be like, did you hear this shit? | |
| He called us all tumors with tentacles sticking out of them with Beatles bobcuts. | |
| What's that about? | |
| We bring before the council. | |
| L. It's like, aw, jeez. | |
| Why me? | |
| I'm useless. | |
| My reach is very small. | |
| Hey, when you call the Pleiadians tumors with tentacles, that's when you've crossed a line that galactic law requires a swift rebuke of. | |
| Hey man, some stereotypes are true. | |
| On Earth, stereotypes are all wrong. | |
| But when you get to a universal level, some stereotypes become true. | |
| You get it. | |
| Yes, exactly. | |
| So we have this nonsense about Pence saving the day or the House and the Senate saving the day. | |
| But January 6th is gonna come and go and maybe they'll file an objection and stall everybody out for like two to four hours. | |
| But at the end of that day, Washington, D.C. will admit that Biden's president and QAnon | |
| will scream that the trap has closed even more shut and captured even more people. | |
| And like in this span of the next two weeks between the Electoral College officially being | |
| recognized in Washington and Biden being sworn in, quote unquote, something will happen. | |
| Like what? | |
| Who knows? | |
| Something. | |
| There's going to be a... | |
| Man, something is always happening for those Q people. | |
| When it comes to Q, something is always about to happen. | |
| Oh god. | |
| The always about to happen happening podcast. | |
| A QAnon original. | |
| What I really... I'm so glad that the inauguration is on a Wednesday, which is the day I always have off. | |
| So I'm going to be able to just watch it live. | |
| Maybe we'll do a live stream, maybe I'll just live tweet it. | |
| But just watching the meltdown in real time that's going to happen from all these people. | |
| Just, when SEAL Team 6 doesn't, like, storm the dais and cuff and stuff Obama, Hillary, Biden, and all the rest of them. | |
| Like, when Biden just gets sworn in and then does a boring speech, like, just... | |
| Being able to scroll through Twitter and watching everybody just sort of being like, NO! | |
| THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING! | |
| I mean, it's going to be incredible. | |
| You can scroll through Parler. | |
| Oh yeah, I'm going to be checking all the posts on Parler from all the people that have already been kicked off of Twitter, as it were. | |
| It's going to be great. | |
| What's racist, YouTube, again? | |
| What'd you say? | |
| There's a racist version of YouTube, right? | |
| Oh, Rumble. | |
| Rumble is the new QAnon-friendly, which parentheses, racism-friendly, version of YouTube. | |
| I saw Diamond and Silk promoting their Rumble account, so... How long is it going to take before Rumble is just, like, filled with kiddie porn videos that people have uploaded? | |
| Well, given the fact that Parlor literally doesn't have the anti-child porn automated system that every other social network has, Lord knows what the brilliant people at Rumble have done to combat child pornography and other scourges of the internet age. | |
| I have no idea and also no faith in any like... Because all this shit has Chan in its fucking DNA. | |
| That's what the Chan sites were about. | |
| Yeah, like... I mean, I haven't been on one in a decade. | |
| Maybe they turned their act around, but I somehow sincerely doubt it. | |
| Like, yeah, 8chan was literally around because 4chan was cracking down too hard on pornography. | |
| I mean, like, in child pornography in particular. | |
| Oh yeah, and back in the day, there were, like, all sorts of sites where people, it was just like, you know, the fucking Moot or whatever, the guy who was in charge of 4chan at the time, I'm not sure who's in charge of it now, maybe he's still the same guy. | |
| But he kept just being like, oh wow, my site has sort of spiraled out of control, and a lot of eyes are on my site, and my site hosts a lot of child porn, so I'm going to try to get better at banishing that. | |
| And then all he did was just scatter seeds of Chan out into the world, and suddenly it was like, 8chan, 8kun, 12chan, Tchan, like Qchan! | |
| Why is it that a thing yet? | |
| Holy shit! | |
| Because Ron, uh, Ron- Stop this recording right now, so that we can secure Qchan. | |
| Yes! | |
| And, uh, yeah, just don't let anybody know. | |
| We're gonna delete this podcast right now so nobody knows that anti-QAnon people actually own QChan. | |
| Uh, and we're just gonna make this, like, pro-QAnon, like, shell corporation and just, like, rope in all the lolliporn, diaper porn, neo-Nazis that are on the regular chans and tell them that this is where the true QAnon believers go to disseminate hate speech and pornography. | |
| This is how we really make our mark on this whole slice of political culture that we've carved out for ourselves. | |
| We start Q-chan, we get a bunch of these assholes to get up there and start uploading their kiddie porn, and then we sell them out to the FBI and they go to prison. | |
| And also because we were hosting it, we go to prison, but we are heroically going to prison in the good way. | |
| They're going to prison the bad way. | |
| Yes. | |
| They're going to the bad prison. | |
| Yeah, we're going to go to good prison. | |
| We're going to go to good prison. | |
| We're going to be the prisoners that people are petitioning Biden to pardon us, but because we're involved in child porn on any level, we will never be pardoned, and therefore we will just rot in jail for the rest of our lives. | |
| Yeah, and we're also white men, so we're going to do just fine. | |
| Yes. | |
| We'll be a-okey-dokey in good prison. | |
| Yes. | |
| That sounds like my pop-punk album. | |
| We'll be a-okie-dokie in good prison. | |
| That's one of our future shirts. | |
| A-okie-dokie in good prison. | |
| We'll be a-okie-dokie in good prison and put a raisin on it and the full loaf are going to be part of the Gen 1 slate of Adventures in Hell World podcast merch when we get to a level where we have people that want to buy our merchandise. | |
| The Soft Boys live from Good Prison. | |
| After everyone gets their vaccine shots and we can do a show with a live crowd, where we are again like the gorillas behind a screen with animated characters playing ourselves, that will be our first live show. | |
| It'll be great. | |
| And by great I mean terrible. | |
| But we won't do it from an actual prison, and if people ask us why, we can tell them because we're soft boys. | |
| Yes, exactly! | |
| It's like literally in the name of the title. | |
| It couldn't have been any more clear if it was the Never Going to a Prison podcast. | |
| In the name of the title. | |
| Yes. | |
| Live from Black Harlem after 2am! | |
| It's the Soft Boys! | |
| No, no thank you. | |
| Our pass. | |
| Wrong crowd for us. | |
| Oh man. | |
| Do we want to do some Q-Drops? | |
| Oh, you know I do. | |
| As long as I can tolerate this instead of talking about Blade. | |
| So, when last we left, Q was giving us very small, very quick little beats, explaining alphanumeric codes to his fans because he didn't think they were that bright as it were. | |
| Claiming that he had toppled North Korea's nuclear facilities and other kinds of nonsense. | |
| But with Qdrop45, we go back to one of his favorite characters. | |
| That's right folks, it's time to once again follow Huma. | |
| Follow Huma. | |
| What just broke with Huma? | |
| What did HRC instruct Huma to do? | |
| Re-classified markings. | |
| Why is this story just now coming out? | |
| What relevance does it have? | |
| Why is Donna running for cover? | |
| Was a deal granted in exchange for something? | |
| Who made the deal? | |
| Do we care about Donna or those who instructed her to violate the law? | |
| Why is this being leaked v. simply prosecuted privately? | |
| Who is attempting to change the narrative and soften the acts that are forthcoming this weekend? | |
| So Donna is Donna Brazile, who at this point was like making a book and claiming that like the DNC kind of rigged things against Bernie in 2016. | |
| That sounds like a sex worker name. | |
| Not just bears and sex workers or anything, but Donna Brazile. | |
| Ooh la la. | |
| Yeah. | |
| That sounds like a character in cyberpunk. | |
| Yes. | |
| I've had to do many of her side quests. | |
| And also she is not a romance option. | |
| But do we care about Donna? | |
| Or those who instructed her to violate the law? | |
| Apparently not. | |
| Apparently not. | |
| God, does he forget about Donna very quickly. | |
| He doesn't forget about Huma. | |
| Does Donna not have the staying power of Huma? | |
| No. | |
| She absolutely doesn't. | |
| Is it because Donna doesn't have a phantom laptop involved with her? | |
| That's the big thing. | |
| If you're not connected to a laptop, Q loses interest in you very quickly. | |
| Petition.org. | |
| Get Donna a laptop. | |
| Let's do this. | |
| We're going to start the GoFundMe. | |
| Get Donna Brazile a laptop full of incriminating evidence so if Q ever returns from his slumber, he can talk about her. | |
| Oh yeah, by the way, Q has not posted since he posted the We're Not Gonna Take It fan video, Trump fan video, that actually had Dee Snider come out and say, fuck you assholes, QAnon sucks, which was... If I recall correctly, we all knew that Dee Snider was going to be on our team, right? | |
| Yes, we were all very confident that Dee was... It may have sounded like shit when I was calling him a 40-year-old man who was dressing like a woman, but that was literally just his thing! | |
| Yes. | |
| Whoops. | |
| I brought up the video to see if it had gotten taken down yet. | |
| Nope, it's still up. | |
| How many views does it have? | |
| 1.3 million. | |
| Of course it does. | |
| And the guy who originally made the video, does he still have Where We Go When We Go All in his bio? | |
| Because he slipped that in there after the first wave of Q-bombing happened to his video. | |
| He wanted to let them all know he was a bro. | |
| Mad American. | |
| While Sarge looks that up, question. | |
| Has any movie trailer done a spooky, scaled back, like little kid singing rendition of We're Not Gonna Take It? | |
| I've never heard that. | |
| You know how that became the hot trend there in like the mid 2000s and people still do it now? | |
| Where it's just like some sort of spooky thriller trailer that it's just some little girl going? | |
| We're not gonna take it. | |
| And then like it'll start some spooky shit and the little girl comes back in. | |
| No, we ain't gonna take it. | |
| Oh, that is, that, I mean, that genre, the slower, more haunting version of an original is like such a trope in movie trailers that I'm kind of offended that we haven't gotten that yet. | |
| So, he does still, in the pinned comment by the guy who made, Matt American, who made the video, who now has 20,000 subscribers despite only putting out one video, he does at the very end have the WWG1WGA, and he has a whole long spiel about this is an anti-riot video, and YouTube has slapped Hey, this isn't how the election went, warning on the video, but it has not taken it down. | |
| Good on you, YouTube, just absolutely half-assing shit in the most impressive way possible. | |
| I had to do a quick internet search to see if anybody already had the company name Wego, because I was like, man, if nobody's got that yet, we should squat on that one and sell it to QAnon, too. | |
| But unfortunately, there's a A travel site that is called WeGo. | |
| And I have to imagine that for several reasons in 2020, that site is probably not doing great. | |
| Yeah, they're probably a bit hurt. | |
| They're going to book you such a cruise. | |
| Oh God, the best cruise. | |
| Yes. | |
| This was the most horrible thing. | |
| There was a family get-together, and it was a small group of people. | |
| I guess the mother, the matriarch of the family, brings out the turkey, and then one family member says, Boy, this is going to be an adventure. | |
| I haven't been able to smell or taste anything for two days. | |
| And then everyone looked at them like, what the fuck are you doing? | |
| Did you not know what that means? | |
| And of the family, I think there were like ten people there, three of them were hospitalized and one of them died. | |
| Nice. | |
| There was an article. | |
| God, I don't remember what it was in. | |
| This Texas wedding photographer was taking photos with the wedding party like all day. | |
| And then one of the bridesmaids is just like, oh, you're so great to do this for us, you know, with everything that's going on with the groom. | |
| And she's like, what are you talking about? | |
| He goes, oh, he tested positive, but he doesn't have symptoms. | |
| So no worries. | |
| And she's like, What? | |
| And then, like, got sick. | |
| It's just maddening. | |
| Actually, the turkey story I read was a spinoff of that story, and she left and everyone was mad at her. | |
| Like, how dare you leave this wedding to try to avoid getting COVID and then you got COVID well | |
| tough shit. I mean just absolutely completely uh just monsters with no no empathy no | |
| understanding of how like interacting with other human beings works. I mean oh my god it's just can | |
| you imagine? Probably statistically pro life. Oh absolutely oh my god. | |
| Yeah, pro-life but willing to give a person they hired for a job COVID because it's my wedding day so if you happen to die for my wedding, tough shit. | |
| Because fuck you, that's why. | |
| Anyway, back to the Q-drops. | |
| So, you know the identity of this Donna person. | |
| You told me, and I still totally remember, even though I totally don't. | |
| But why is this being leaked? | |
| V simply prosecuted privately. | |
| What is being leaked, exactly? | |
| Uh, there's really, again, this was just the whole thing where she wrote a book, like, alleging that the DNC put their thumb on the scale in favor of Hillary against Bernie, which goes into the whole... I mean, is that news? | |
| I thought that everybody sort of assumed that that was the case. | |
| Right, exactly. | |
| So yeah, this was just kind of like the confirmation bias. | |
| This is what leads to the whole Seth Rich gave the information to Julian Assange for WikiLeaks and that's why Hillary killed him. | |
| It's just like trying to strengthen one of the tentacles of QAnon's narrative. | |
| Which is, like, Hillary is bad, the DNC is bad, and Donna Brazile is a brave soul for trying to, like, uh... And now the GOP is bad, too! | |
| What are they gonna do? | |
| That's the thing that they don't... Remember, Sarge, there are bad actors everywhere. | |
| They're all over the place. | |
| But simultaneously, there's not as many of them as you would expect. | |
| Yes! | |
| Schrodinger's evil conspiracy. | |
| Both all-encompassing and only a select few. | |
| It's like going to that D.A.R.E. | |
| program when you're a kid. | |
| All D.A.R.E. | |
| really taught anybody was that every high school student in the world was doing drugs all the time, always. | |
| But drugs would also ruin your life, so nobody could take them and succeed. | |
| And it was just like, well, I don't know. | |
| I watched the captain of our football team smoke a joint, and he seems alright. | |
| Nope. | |
| One joint, your life is ruined. | |
| Why is the information RE-BO important? | |
| RE-U1 and export arrival to Canada to EU. | |
| Where is BO today? | |
| This is... God, I'm just reading this, my brain is already like just sizzling. This is just so out there. QDROP 46 is | |
| all over the map. | |
| Why is the information RE-BO important? RE, U1, and export arrival to Canada to EU. Where is BO today? | |
| Did BO and or his admin ever fake false statements that U1 would never be exported from the US? | |
| Who made those statements? | |
| Who did they report to? | |
| Why is this relevant? | |
| The public has been given a select taste, i.e. | |
| sampling. | |
| Rest assured, others have it all. | |
| 100% verifiable and impossible to refute. | |
| Why is this relevant? | |
| Who controls the narrative? | |
| Why are left-wing organizations beginning to report on DNC-D corruption? | |
| Does the CIA have operators inside the MSM? | |
| What happens if exposed? | |
| What happens if tied back as knowing to execs? | |
| What does this have to do with leaking? | |
| What if it can be verified no source stories made up were in fact and approved to be published? | |
| The wormhole goes deep. | |
| Wow, like literally only like four sentences into this drop and already Q has sunk my battleship. | |
| There's a VO, there's a U1, there's an EU, there's a US. | |
| It's like, man. | |
| That is a lot of letters and numbers to be taken in. | |
| What is this? | |
| The hacking game in Cyberpunk? | |
| Yeah, if you connect BU to U1 and EU, that gets you the jackpot of your level 3 money demon at the access terminal. | |
| What's really funny about this is this was his code for Obama, BO, back in the day before he realized that His fanbase wanted him to address Obama by the, uh, moniker, HUSSANE, which allows them to, like, just totally bask in their racism and hatred of Obama. | |
| On the spectrum of racist things, they could have insisted that Barack Obama be called. | |
| Hussane seems pretty tame. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Well, it's as far as Q is willing to go until you get to, I think it's Q drop 1509 or something like that, where he just actually uses an anti-gay slur to address Obama, which is lovely and something that a military intelligence operation would absolutely do. | |
| Yeah. | |
| I mean, sometimes you slip up and you call Barack Obama the F-word. | |
| What are you gonna do? | |
| Yeah, it just happens! | |
| Oopsie-daisies! | |
| Whoopsie! | |
| Yeah, I shouldn't have sent that text-based meme using a slur against Obama so that when we arrest him and he has a trial, they can be like, hey, the arresting officer actually has a prejudice against my client and 99% of all evidence he's collected needs to be thrown out. | |
| And then they're like, oh fuck, this is why we needed the military tribunals, so we can just kill him anyways, because that's what America's all about. | |
| I categorically refuse calling Barack Obama the F-word. | |
| Well, have you ever called him the N-word? | |
| This press conference is over. | |
| Exactly. | |
| So... Can I tell you my least favorite part about this Q-drop? | |
| It's a little spoiler territory for people that That don't want Qdrop47 from November 2nd, 2017 spoiled for them. | |
| But the thing I hate the most about this Qdrop is I know that whichever Q is writing this shit starts to go on an Alice in Wonderland jag. | |
| And in Alice in Wonderland, it's not a fucking wormhole! | |
| It's a rabbit hole! | |
| Yes! | |
| It's like he mixed his metaphors. | |
| What are you talking about the wormhole goes deep? | |
| Wormholes don't really go anywhere. | |
| They're tears in space that you like shoot through. | |
| It's not like a tunnel. | |
| It's not like an actual, like, it's supposed to be like a teleportation thing. | |
| Wormholes don't go deep. | |
| They don't go anywhere. | |
| And the thing that's really fucked up about this is Qdrop47 is like 11 minutes after Qdrop46, so he had the Alice in Wonderland thing chambered, and he still went wormhole instead of rabbit hole! | |
| It's so weird! | |
| I mean, again, spoiler alert, he also misspells Alice in Wonderland, but I mean, at least try to stay in the same fucking ballpark with your references. | |
| Like, what is it? | |
| Sliders on one hand, and then we go to Alice in Wonderland? | |
| Like, pick a fucking lane, bud. | |
| Yes. | |
| Did we already talk about that this is 100% verifiable and impossible to refute? | |
| Yes. | |
| Did we already talk about how Q decided to mansplain to us what sampling is? | |
| Yes. | |
| The Republic has been giving a select taste. | |
| And in case you don't know what that means, Q's here and he's got your back. | |
| Parentheses, i.e. | |
| sampling. | |
| Oh, thank God. | |
| Woo! | |
| I had no idea what, like, I had no idea what the select taste meant. | |
| Yes. | |
| Now I understand. | |
| It's a candy. | |
| It was a sample. | |
| I also would have expected, like, accepted, like, an aperitif. | |
| I fucking hate Riddler Q. It frustrates me so much. | |
| Why is this relevant? | |
| Who controls the narrative? | |
| Well you just said it's 100% verifiable and impossible to refute. | |
| So everything you say should be happening any minute now. | |
| Three years later, your boy lost the election by historic numbers. | |
| It's so ridiculous. | |
| What makes me really sad is he didn't put a third, why is this relevant, in at the end. | |
| I was waiting for it. | |
| I was aching for more relevancy. | |
| I mean, you guys just don't understand it, dawg. | |
| Alice in Wonderland. | |
| The wormhole goes deep through the viewing glass. | |
| Let's go! | |
| Exactly! | |
| And this is, again, nonsense about Uranium One, which none of it is true. | |
| Uranium One was like a Canadian mining company that got bought by Russia and all of the different intelligence and departments of America signed off on it. | |
| It wasn't just the State Department. | |
| Hillary couldn't have pushed the deal through herself. | |
| It would have required a lot of people and Yes, uranium was exported, but none of it was exported to Russia. | |
| There was like America to Canada transfers, and then later on there was some like sales of the uranium to states in Europe, but Russia never got any of this uranium. | |
| It was just a Russian company that owned the rights to the mining facilities. | |
| They weren't like, thanks for giving us access to this mine, you idiots! | |
| And then just like harvesting uranium to take it back to Russia. | |
| And the last thing about this nonsense is Kazakhstan, I believe, is like... It's either Kazakhstan or Uzbekistan. | |
| It's one of these two. | |
| But there's this giant country next to Russia that is like the leading exporter of uranium in the world. | |
| So if Russia really needed some fucking uranium, they would just go next door. | |
| They wouldn't go all the way across the Atlantic to fucking Canada to get some goddamn uranium. | |
| Well, Mike, what you're forgetting is that it's really easy to transport Canadian uranium through the deep wormhole. | |
| This is, oh that's right, I forgot, I did forget there is a... It's just like Stranger Things, spoiler warning. | |
| There, yeah, I forgot about the Quebec to Moscow wormhole that you can just throw uranium into and it comes out the other side, no problem. | |
| Yeah, that's what you do with your hoppers and your uranium. | |
| Yes! | |
| You just send it through Terran space to Russia. | |
| Yes! | |
| I read the next QDROP and started laughing. | |
| Okay, so we'll bang out QDROP 47 and then decide if we're going to continue or we're going to call it a day for the QDROP stash. | |
| They're so dumb. | |
| You can paint the picture based solely on the questions asked. | |
| Be vigilant today and expect a major false flag. | |
| Does anyone find it to be a coincidence there is always a terrorist attack when bad news breaks for the D's? | |
| What is that called? | |
| Military relevant how? | |
| BO could and would not allow the military to destroy ISIS. | |
| Why? | |
| How was ISIS formed? | |
| When? | |
| How has POTUS made such progress in the short time he's been president? | |
| Alice AND Wonderland. | |
| God bless our voice of Q for putting an emphasis on that ampersand. | |
| Yes! | |
| Dear listeners, Q spelled it out, Alice Ampersand Wonderland. | |
| Hey man, don't take it for granted that that is an easy thing to say and spell. | |
| Yes. | |
| So Sarge, you are our military expert, so ISIS, that's a thing? | |
| Yeah, why didn't Barry O let the military destroy ISIS? | |
| Because it wasn't relevant until we destabilized the region. | |
| But when you were personally in the rack with a scimitar that you had taken off of insurgent to the throat of yet another insurgent, waiting for Order 66 to come through to murder all of them, why did he not give that order, sir? | |
| It's still a mystery. | |
| Down at the VFW, we talk about it every day, how we didn't wipe out ISIS. | |
| It wasn't a thing. | |
| America does this all the time. | |
| We destabilize regions and then we wonder why these fucking terrorist organizations pop up. | |
| Also, not for nothing, but this gripe seems pretty crazy because like, A, they're griping about Barack Obama not destroying ISIS. | |
| B, they're talking about how great Trump is doing in the short time he's been in office. | |
| But they're just like, Coincidentally forgetting that Barack Obama was the ass in the seat when number one super-terrorist Osama Bin Laden was murdered, right? | |
| These people are going to talk about 9-11 because that's old news, but if they did, maybe they'd just be like, oh, well, the last Republican president didn't kill Osama, and then a Democrat got in the chair and fuckin' silted and six-whacked that guy. | |
| The thing I love about that- It's hard to paint Barack Obama as anti-military when he killed the number one villain of the planet. | |
| I remember the weekend that Bin Laden was killed. | |
| I was at work and one of my co-workers angrily told me that Obama only killed Bin Laden to get re-elected. | |
| And I was like, really? | |
| Positive reinforcement is a bad thing? | |
| When you do something Americans want and we reward you? | |
| That's not good? | |
| That girl I met last night was great and all, but she only sucked my dick because she wanted to spend more time with me. | |
| was like tell me again what are my poll numbers who okay okay fine fine we got to | |
| do it we got to do it my poll numbers are too low get in there that girl I met | |
| last night was great you know but she only sucked my dick because she wanted | |
| to spend more time with me what a bitch yes this whole thing called love it's so | |
| Why would you do such a thing for me? | |
| So confusing. | |
| So I mean yeah it's just so like their hatred is so uh ever omnipresent. | |
| They just can't give the other side any credit for anything. | |
| And uh this also this Q-drop also uh kind of like poisons the brains of QAnon for forever because Whenever anything bad happens in the world, which is usually a mass shooting in America because we have way too many guns and all kinds of problems, whenever there's a mass shooting | |
| If there was a scandal or some bad news for Democrats in the news before that mass shooting, QAnon will say the mass shooting was a false flag to get that shooting out of the headlines and out of the narrative. | |
| But if things are kind of tranquil and nothing's going on and there's a mass shooting, then QAnon will say, oh some bad news is coming for the Democrats any moment now and they got out in front of it with a mass shooting. | |
| They created this just absolute perfect system to dehumanize all victims of all mass shootings. | |
| They don't exist. | |
| They're not real. | |
| The mass shooting is not real. | |
| Everything that we see on television is just a way to try to obfuscate bad news for Democrats. | |
| Well, yeah, because the alternative is them maybe, you know, having to look around, look at the world around them and just be like, gee, maybe gun control laws in America are fucked up. | |
| But no, I agree with him. | |
| If Americans didn't have easy access to guns, how would we defend ourselves against other Americans with guns? | |
| It's one of those great questions. | |
| It's one of those really great questions that you have to ask yourself all the time. | |
| And so, this is, again, the Alice in Wonderland kick has begun, and it's not going anywhere. | |
| Oh, I was about to ask. | |
| I know it sticks around for a little bit. | |
| I was about to ask if it super sticks around. | |
| Alice and Wonderland featuring its Worcestershire cat? | |
| Yes. | |
| This is kind of a really prevalent thing for the remainder of the first 72 drops, where he just gets really on this weird kick of screaming and yelling about Alice and Wonderland. | |
| Then after this, after basically Q runs out of steam on this nonsense, he starts throwing more movies in. | |
| Later on, The Godfather 3 becomes a big thing. | |
| It's really weird. | |
| It's like he's just trying to see how many dumb rabbit holes he can run people down. | |
| Wormholes? | |
| You mean wormholes? | |
| Oh yes, wormholes. | |
| Exactly. | |
| Absolutely wormholes. | |
| Get it right or pay the price. | |
| Oh God. | |
| There is no rabbit in Alice in Wonderland. | |
| In Alice in Wonderland, the titular Alice follows the white worm down its wormhole. | |
| This is true. | |
| The whole thing is a really graphic sex allegory. | |
| You don't want to know what the real life story between Alice and the white worm was. | |
| It's not good. | |
| It's not great. | |
| Oh god. | |
| Just be thankful she wasn't part of any other literature, specifically Moby Dick, because that's a white whale. | |
| That seems like much harder to take. | |
| Alice in Wonderland, not written by a pedophile. | |
| So, you know, it's really cool that Q keeps referencing that. | |
| Yeah. | |
| They just need to see the first season of The Magician, spoiler warning. | |
| And it'll clear all that right up for people. | |
| Oh god, so... And then I think the Bourne series gets referenced at some point. | |
| I think Speed gets referenced. | |
| There's just like... It becomes this really weird thing where Q's just kind of wondering how many dumb... Q can't fuck with Speed. | |
| If anything, Q can only fuck with Speed 2, Cruise Control, because it takes place on a boat. | |
| Am I misremembering this? | |
| Didn't we dream up Speed 3 in an episode? | |
| We've certainly talked about Speed and Blade in the past. | |
| Blade Speed Patriots! | |
| Good speed through the wormhole, Patriots! | |
| Qdrop144, he decides to just go whole hog on movies, and he gives us Alice and Wonderland, | |
| Snow White, Iron Eagle?, Godfather 3?, Speed?, so he's just, here's all the, watch all these | |
| Like, literally, he's just some... Q works or worked for Blockbuster Video, confirmed. | |
| Yes! | |
| Absolutely! | |
| The true identity of Q is cross-referencing all the people on 4chan who were Blockbuster employees. | |
| I'm... | |
| Oh, me and Al have a former acquaintance in our community who was a Blockbuster employee, and now I'm just thinking... Me? | |
| Yeah, it's Sarge. | |
| I worked at Blockbuster in high school. | |
| Oh my god! | |
| You, you, you, I didn't know that! | |
| I didn't know the stark truth of you! | |
| We just fuckin' blew it up! | |
| Oh my god! | |
| Sarge's Q! | |
| Confirmed! | |
| He's been triple-agenting us the whole time! | |
| That son of a bitch! | |
| That's why he was so supportive of the Stormwave! | |
| God. | |
| Oh, it's so great. | |
| Oh, all right. | |
| Do we want to get into some, uh, listener questions considered where we're running kind of long? | |
| Okay. | |
| That sounds like a plan to me. | |
| Uh, the listener questions, which I actually, uh, found this time. | |
| Cause I'm not like, uh, incompetent. | |
| No, nothing's better than what, so we, when we record this, dear listeners, where we're doing it, like we record through, uh, whatever recording software we're doing, but we also have zoom up so we can see each other's faces. | |
| And nothing fills my heart with joy like the frantic eye-scanning of Mike, the dealer, when he fucking has to call up a Q-drop or the list of questions. | |
| He's like, oh yeah, I could absolutely do that! | |
| And his eyes are just darting around frantically. | |
| It's great. | |
| Well, the main reason why... Please donate money so we can hire a producer. | |
| And the other reason why the terror is real for me today is because as we're going through Audacity, I have this unbelievably junky setup to get my speakers close enough to the microphone so that everything records well. | |
| So in order to not topple that, I have to be incredibly delicate with my attacks on my mouse to move it around. | |
| When our stories are etched into history and we become huge megastars in the future, we'll look back on this time and we'll just be like, man, we were recording on a stack of books through computer speakers, coming out of mics, like desktop setup. | |
| Can you believe that shit? | |
| Yep! | |
| Oh yeah, that's our lives. | |
| While you're pulling up questions, do you want a blockbuster story? | |
| The questions are already up, so the Blockbuster story better be incredible or you can can it, buddy. | |
| Oh yeah, starting next week, a little teaser for the listeners. | |
| Sarge's Blockbuster Corner. | |
| Yes! | |
| Absolutely! | |
| I only worked there a year in high school and I have a bunch of stories. | |
| Oh, I've got stories from GameStop if we just want to continue to dilute what this podcast is about with stories of retail hell. | |
| It's Q's fault for being fucking boring. | |
| We're just going to read one Q drop every week and then just talk about nonsense for the rest of it. | |
| Whale penises, putting raisins on it, blockbuster video, Blade, the seminal Blade trilogy. | |
| I'm here for Retail Health Corner. | |
| I can talk about my time working at Store 24. | |
| It'll be great. | |
| It'll be absolutely incredible. | |
| All right, well, there we go, listeners. | |
| A little teaser for the future. | |
| But in the meantime, we probably have questions from you we should answer. | |
| We do. | |
| Bobby Ellis, who has brackets Fear is the Mindkiller, which is wonderful, says, same as last time, but it got in too late. | |
| Do you think the guys running Q, the Watkinses, actually believe this stuff? | |
| Is it all just a massive grift? | |
| It seems like QTAA and Major Patriot just make this stuff up as they go. | |
| Do they really mean it? | |
| I think it's, at some point, if you're like one of the followers, like a Major Patriot or a QTAA or any of these guys, at some point you just poison your brain with this bullshit and you just now can't get off the ride anymore. | |
| Like, uh, Major Patriot today literally sent out a tweet that was just the word Obama and got like 8,000 likes. | |
| Like, the psychotic dopamine hit. | |
| He thinks Obama. | |
| Yeah, exactly. | |
| The psychotic dopamine hit these people get from just typing, I ate a burrito and it was delicious! | |
| It's gotta be just incredible and now all of these people are living in terror that January 20th is coming and their binky is going away and it's gonna be really bad. | |
| So I just don't know. | |
| So you're of the mind that it started off as sort of like a grift or an ARG or a LARP or whatever but then over time I think that's absolutely the case. | |
| I think it's so hard to not get high on your own supply when you're believing in this shit. | |
| Like, even if you on some level know that this is a way to make money for yourself, at some point you can't help but start believing your own lies. | |
| When it comes to the Watkins father and son combo, I feel like Ron Watkins was always pilled. | |
| He was always a conspiracy theorist. | |
| He was always in that headspace. | |
| So when Q shows up and just blows up and becomes the biggest thing in the world, and it's on his cesspool of an image board, Now Ron has an easy in to like actually being able to play in the big boy sandbox of Conspiracy World and Jim seems like a just a nut. | |
| I mean Jim Watkins is just a weird crazy dude who probably I mean he probably thinks Q is right because again his son's probably pilling him all the time And also it's the only intellectual property that h-kun has that has any weight whatsoever. | |
| I mean you can go anywhere to be an anti-semite. | |
| You can go anywhere to find all the fetish porn and all that nonsense. | |
| The only place you can go for q-shit is h-kun. | |
| So it's like It is his uh the only reason why he's on the internet right now is that nonsense otherwise he would just be doing whatever other adventures he would be doing in his life because he he's Rick Jim Watkins has money he doesn't have to be doing any of this crap he's just a weird guy that enjoys having attention and now he's got attention because he runs a conspiracy theory which is nuts | |
| I at least partly agree with that. | |
| I think that it for sure was just some nonsense at the beginning. | |
| Like, we talk about it as like an ARG or a LARP or like a bad story, like, you know, all the time. | |
| And in my heart of hearts, that's what I believe. | |
| As to whether or not I think that the people responsible actually believe their bullshit at this point? | |
| Meh, I mean... | |
| You know, that kind of comes down to how much credit you want to give them as grifters and flim flam men and snake oil salesmen and all that good shit. | |
| Like, you know, if you think that their brains are weak and feeble, then yes, they've infected themselves with their own poison somehow. | |
| But if you think that they're, like, sharp enough to jump through the hoops without letting the hoops jump through them, so to speak, like, then they kind of have to be sitting on the top of the pile, just laughing at all the people as they dance for them. | |
| And you know, I don't know how much credit I want to give these guys, so honestly I'm sort of like in the air on the last part. | |
| I certainly feel like it started as bullshit though. | |
| Oh, it absolutely started as bullshit. | |
| I mean, Qdrop1 was a guy LARPing in response to another guy saying that Hillary was gonna get cuffed and stuffed. | |
| I mean, like, first guy is like, Hillary's getting arrested, and then Q pops in and he's like, this is how Hillary's gonna get arrested. | |
| And then he starts, like, talking about- I know, because I have Q-level clearance. | |
| Right, exactly, and then you just start spitting mad shit. | |
| And, like, the thing that's really kind of funny is, Because people didn't kind of backfill like who Q was at the start. | |
| So like those first two Q drops, they didn't ding his credibility that much because he only started gaining steam in like by Q drop 20 or so. | |
| So no one was like, hey bro why is Hillary not in jail yet? | |
| What the fuck? | |
| You told me she was going to be in jail. | |
| And that's why like that's why you mentioned it uh like on the last podcast that you were like holy shit these 72 drops are like over like three days and now Q goes like a whole month of like saying nothing except that we're not gonna take it video and it just goes to show that like Q knows he's hitting a hard deadline and his fun is probably going to end on on November 3rd so he's gotta like just suck the marrow out of the bone of this LARP that he's doing And then it turns out that his audience is just so accommodating that even when he bricks out hard on his deadline, he's able to keep lying to them for three more fucking years. | |
| Yeah, sometimes I feel like we really missed out by deciding to make the podcast fighting for the good guys instead of listening to by the good guys. | |
| Because the bad guys just seem so gullible and easy to trick. | |
| Yeah, it's all just, they'll buy almost anything because they have to. | |
| The table has been disproven as not being a table. | |
| The conspiracy theory is this table, and we keep taking away the legs, and they just keep inventing new legs for their table. | |
| And they'll just buy anything because of it, because they have to have legs for their table. | |
| That one was a little bit better than the food metaphor at the top of the podcast. | |
| Yeah, I was trying. | |
| We appreciate you, sir. | |
| You see, you try a thing and then I critique it. | |
| That's sort of like, that's the banter that people have come for. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Anyway, thanks for that. | |
| Thanks for the question there, listener. | |
| We think that it started off as horseshit and whether or not the people that are involved believe their own horseshit is sort of like, you know, dealer's choice to use a Mike Appropriate parlance. | |
| Thank you, sir. | |
| American flag, fire emoji, Kiz Epic, rose emoji, bald eagle emoji asks, who was your favorite president in US history? | |
| Bill Pullman. | |
| That's a good one. | |
| Is that the right guy? | |
| Doesn't he always get confused with another guy? | |
| Bill Paxton? | |
| No, I think Pullman is the right one. | |
| Yeah, I think you nailed it. | |
| I think Pullman's right there. | |
| That was very quick-witted. | |
| I appreciate that, Serge. | |
| That was good. | |
| That was a solid one. | |
| That was definitely better than the food analogy. | |
| I try. | |
| How about you Mike? | |
| I'm just going to go Lincoln because he had to deal with a mountain of shit and also he | |
| murdered lots of the slave-owning scum of the Confederacy and the only objection I have | |
| to Lincoln was that he didn't murder enough of them. | |
| We should have, like, the military tribunals that QAnon is always calling for, yeah, we should have done that after the Civil War. | |
| We should have hung Lee. | |
| We should have hung Jefferson Davis. | |
| All those fucking traitorous dogs needed to pay and they needed to have their nose rubbed in the shit that you don't commit treason against America in the name of slavery and get away with it. | |
| For the shithand that he was dealt and what he had to deal with, Lincoln definitely gets | |
| a solid A- out of me, so good on him. | |
| And that's probably the only serious answer you're getting out of the three of us. | |
| That's true, because my answer is Reggie Fils-Aimé, former president of Nintendo of America. | |
| Ooh, good answer. | |
| Good answer, good answer. | |
| Show Meat Potato Salad! | |
| I thought I might go to VAMP for a second because I was like, I have to confirm that Reggie was president in that role, and he was. | |
| He was some corporate level big shot so he could have been like a CEO or CFO or CDO or Nintendo 3DO. | |
| That's right. | |
| Reggie Fils-Aimé was the Nintendo 3DO of Nintendo of America. | |
| They were coming for that crown years after Relevancy. | |
| Thank you for your question, listener, with the many emojis in their name. | |
| And finally, Benjamin Bentley asks, does post-inauguration QAnon most likely pivot too? | |
| And he gives us a multiple choice options. | |
| One, Trump is still secretly the real president, continue to trust the plan. | |
| Two, QAnon was a LARP and loses significant popularity. | |
| Three, Trump lost in the deep state slash cabal. | |
| One, four, Trump lost but he is still fighting and we still support him. | |
| You can also answer five, other, if you so desire. | |
| Five other. | |
| Well, that's our show, everybody. | |
| I mean, the thing is that it seems unlikely that the whole Q group is going to all move in one direction, right? | |
| I mean, just as an outsider, it sort of seems like once the wheels truly start to spin off of this fucking thing, It seems more likely that Q is going to fracture into some groups. | |
| And I think that those groups are going to run that gamut. | |
| Probably not to the one where people wake up to the fact that it was a LARP and bullshit. | |
| That is unfortunately the one that seems the least likely. | |
| The people that are deeply entrenched, it doesn't seem like the cords are going to get pulled out of the back of their head and the goo is going to empty out of their matrix chamber because it is revealed that Trump was full of shit the whole time. | |
| I feel like Trump could pull a mask off of his face, Scooby-Doo style, revealing himself to be a literal, actual clown underneath it, and, like, a lot of the Q people would still find a way to support him. | |
| So, I feel like, personally, my answer is, in fact, other, if only because I feel like Q is probably going to split off and cover all the rest of those bases. | |
| And maybe they'll team up with each other when they need to, but I feel like they're gonna have to start eating their own in order for some of them to, like, come out on top of the heat. | |
| We talked about this and spitballed it on an earlier episode where I asked largely the same question. | |
| Do you think it's going to fracture? | |
| And I think yes. | |
| We're starting to see it, just little by little. | |
| But I think they start to fracture and splinter in different directions. | |
| I think that both Sarge and Al are right about all of these things are going to happen, but my gut has always been that number three is the most likely answer, which is that, again, this whole bullshit QAnon thing is just a layer cake Where the bottom layer is the protocols of the Elders of Zion, which is just vicious anti-Semitism, and Jews are secretly trying to control the world. | |
| And then the next layer is the Satanic Panic from the 80s. | |
| And then the next layer is the Illuminati New World Order shit from the 90s and the 2000s. | |
| And then QAnon is the whole Trump bullshit on the top layer of the cake. | |
| And all Trump leaving office does is rip his layer off the cake and throw it away. | |
| And you're still left with this cake conspiracy bullshit theory that the world is run by evil bad people. | |
| And you kind of see that as Trump is losing support from Republicans and stuff. | |
| When Mitch McConnell referred to Biden as President-elect and Kamala Harris as Vice President-elect. | |
| Like a bunch, like half of QAnon was like, oh that's just five-dimensional chess and Trump told McConnell to say that. | |
| But then the other half of QAnon was like, fuck McConnell that deep state piece of shit! | |
| I always knew he was no good! | |
| And that is what's going to happen as Trump loses more and more friends and more and more people begin accepting the fact that Biden's going to be president. | |
| And that for their political careers and their political futures, they're gonna have to acknowledge that reality and get ready to work with Biden for the next four years. | |
| So, like, these people are gonna start seeing more and more swamp, more and more bad guys. | |
| And basically, what was the Illuminati is now just going to be the Deep State, and the Deep State is just going to be the winners. | |
| I think that's going to be what the biggest slice of the QAnon fragmentation pie is going to be. | |
| Is it a pie or is it a cake, Mike? | |
| You're going strong. | |
| It was cake all the way down until sometime it hit pie. | |
| So, like, is the base layer of this cake a pie? | |
| Are we inventing a dessert? | |
| It's stationed on a table with no legs, is where it's at. | |
| Well, no. | |
| The legs keep getting replaced as the person replacing the legs is looking through the fridge. | |
| Hey, don't monkey with my table metaphor. | |
| It's great. | |
| Yeah, his table metaphor was the best one so far. | |
| Your cake metaphor was doing well until it transmogrified into pie. | |
| Halfway down. | |
| The cake was always the cake. | |
| The pie was the different slices of QAnon that are going to be dibbied up afterwards. | |
| I don't know, Mike. | |
| I think the cake was a lie. | |
| God damn it, you beat me there! | |
| Yeah, right I did. | |
| Boom! | |
| That's right. | |
| Yeah. | |
| We're going back in time! | |
| It's 2008. | |
| Jonathan Colton is relevant. | |
| The orange box is the most robust deal in gaming history. | |
| And everybody's freaking out about Team Fortress 2. | |
| That was, that was like, that was probably, we've peaked. | |
| We've peaked as a podcast. | |
| We're not getting better than that. | |
| That was like the smoothest shit Elle has ever done. | |
| Well, remember that the audio listeners didn't get to see me dance, so I still think there's room for improvement on the audio end, but... | |
| Oh man, that was... I was dancing during that whole bit. | |
| That was beautiful. | |
| Because I'm very excited about it. | |
| Especially because Sarge served me up the, uh, being angry that I beat him for that fucking low-hanging fruit. | |
| But I've always said it, though, the juiciest fruit hangs the lowest! | |
| And then you pluck it, and you make it into a pie! | |
| And you put that pie on a table with no legs, and then you stack a cake on top of the pie! | |
| This is the platform I'm running on! | |
| All of this, L2024. | |
| Only the table pie cake can save us from the storm wave. | |
| The Kraken is rebuked by the cake pie. | |
| And you know what makes the cake pie really good? | |
| It's when you put a raisin on it. | |
| Yeah, and you gotta put raisins on it. | |
| It's like any good pie or cake, it's only enhanced by raisins. | |
| Yes, all of these things are true. | |
| Oatmeal cookie, bam, raisin in that motherfucker. | |
| Now it's delicious. | |
| Oh what, you got some celery with some peanut butter? | |
| Big fuckin' deal! | |
| Boom, put a raisin on it! | |
| Now say it's on a log, bitch! | |
| It's on a log. | |
| My Ants on a Log reference is killed by... I think that's the show, folks. | |
| So this is like a sign of my time for me to remind you that if you enjoy what you're listening to, please go ahead and support us at Poker Politics on Patreon. | |
| If you feel like you're in a position to donate some money to us, go ahead and please do that. | |
| If you like what you're listening to, but you're just like, hey, I don't want to give my money to these random white male idiots. | |
| They suck balls, even though I enjoy their podcast. | |
| And that is totally fine. | |
| We understand that you suck and that you are hoarding your money like some sort of Scrooge McDuck miser. | |
| But if you can manage to let a little bit of it squeeze through your ducky fingertips, please, if you can't give it to us, give it to love146.org. | |
| They're out there doing good work. | |
| We like to plug them so that they can help continue to stop actual human trafficking, specifically child human trafficking. | |
| The way that QAnon claims that they want, but they never do anything to work towards. | |
| Or, if none of that is good enough for you, just go ahead and tell a friend about our podcast. | |
| Tell a friend about any political podcast that leans blue. | |
| If you happen to be in a position to influence the Georgia runoff elections, go ahead and please do that, either by supporting the Democrats or by convincing Republicans that the vote is rigged and they shouldn't vote anyway. | |
| And you can find us on our various social media locations. | |
| Mike, as always, on Twitter, at PokerPolitics. | |
| Or is it Poker and Politics there? | |
| PokerPolitics is the handle. | |
| PokerPolitics. | |
| I thought so, but I wanted to make sure to get it right. | |
| Twitter, at PokerPolitics. | |
| Sarge and myself are on Twitter, at HellWorldSarge, with a Q instead of the O in the word world. | |
| Or, uh, Hellworld L, respectively. | |
| And, uh, has anybody else got anything else to say before we, uh, like, take this ship out of its tumultuous waters? | |
| Nautical reference? | |
| Oh, I'm ready for our Totally Organic Catch Phrase, sir. | |
| Alright, so as always, we always end the podcast with our Totally Organic Catch Phrase. | |
| It doesn't require me to count it down by two anyway, just for posterity, because it's so fun to count down from the number three. | |
| I can't fucking get enough of that number three and its lower numbers, so let's go ahead and start at three and count ourselves down. | |
| Three, two, one. |