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Jan. 11, 2002 - Art Bell

02:47:38

Coast to Coast AM with Art Bell - Open Lines - If You Were God

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	Welcome to Art Bell Somewhere in Time.
	Tonight featuring Coast to Coast AM from January 11, 2002.
	From the desert of the sea and the great American Southwest.
	I bid you all good evening, good morning, good afternoon, as the case may be across all 24 time zones covered by this program.
	How you doing?
	It's Friday night, Saturday morning and we're going to do open lines.
	So these are the times when Anything can happen now.
	Let me begin the program by saying that I was deluged, understatement, with emails and so forth, saying, since I asked last week what you would do if you were the devil, it is my absolute obligation to ask this week what you would do if you were God.
	And I'm going to do that.
	I'm just going to put a slight, minor, little twist on the question.
	So my question is going to be, if you were God, what would you do differently?
	That's the one you've got to answer, if you want to try.
	If you were God, what would you do differently?
	That's going to take some thought, and it should bring some interesting, provocative answers.
	You were God.
	You know, the one.
	What would you do differently?
	All right, well, let us look at the news.
	It's not so much the war news anymore, though I guess there's some left.
	The big story is the baddest of the bad of the Taliban.
	What's left?
	...are on their way to Guantanamo Bay in Cuba, shackled and surrounded by Marines.
	They're going to Guantanamo.
	That's where they're going to keep them in Guantanamo now.
	I remember the Haitians, and they kept the Haitians in Guantanamo for a while, and then essentially sent them home.
	What I'm wondering here is... Now, obviously, they're going to interrogate them, and they're going to say, where is bin Laden?
	Where is he?
	And stuff like that.
	But aside from that, what I'm wondering, and what they're not talking about at all, is where, ultimately, are these Taliban going to go?
	Are they going to stay forever more at Guantanamo Bay?
	Unlikely, right?
	What are the other choices?
	What are the other choices?
	I mean, what are we going to do with them?
	I don't have the slightest idea.
	Nobody is talking about that.
	I just hope they don't end up immigrating somehow.
	And I have this horrible feeling, anyway.
	It looks like Ford is going to cut, and they're sorry about it, certainly apologizing, 35,000 jobs.
	There are many who are saying the recession may be bottoming out, and others, the Fed chairman warning it may not, you know, the worst may not be over, or it may be.
	Nobody's quite sure yet.
	This could be near the bottom.
	Some say.
	Another story about Enron tonight.
	Oh, I tell you, this Enron thing.
	The fellow who made the prediction about Enron, I have a feeling he's right.
	It turns out Enron sought a big-time help from the federal government.
	Uh, shortly before, of course, uh, the recent bad news of Enron going whoosh.
	And there had been a lot of donations made to a lot of high places.
	And you just, you know, every day now I look at the news and there's an Enron story there and it just has the feel of Watergate.
	That's the way Watergate happened.
	Small story at the beginning.
	A bigger one and a bigger one and a bigger one and a bigger one before you knew it, a president was taking off and leaving.
	Peached.
	And I'm not saying that's how big Enron is going to be or whether it's even going to be a scandal at all, because I have no way of knowing.
	It's just the way they're handling this story that makes me think.
	Israeli missile boats fired at a Palestinian naval fuel depot, in a barracks as well, used by the naval police in Gaza early Saturday, setting both ablaze.
	So that, of course, continues and will probably forever until Armageddon.
	Over there.
	And now, this is kind of interesting with regard to time travel.
	Here's a really interesting story.
	It looks like someone's made the calculation that for a 400 digit number, it would take something like a billion or 10 billion years for a supercomputer using conventional algorithms to factor that number.
	A quantum computer could do that in a few months.
	Now we're comparing 10 billion years to a few months, and they're about to build a quantum computer.
	IBM's well on the way to a quantum, actually they've got a quantum computer, and I'm told, you know, I don't know that much about time travel, despite what some people think, but a quantum computer would very likely be the step to time travel.
	A quantum computer, in all likelihood, would be able to be in multiple dimensions at one time.
	And if that would be the case, then time travel would be either a reality or just around the corner.
	And so we're making really fast strides.
	Forget the The doubling of processor speeds every 18 months, or whatever it is.
	We're making strides beyond that, and if we should suddenly jump to a quantum computer, then time travel may be well within our grasp.
	And of course, another great all-time question is, if time travel is possible, then where are the time travelers, right?
	Well, they may well be out there.
	And that's one answer that a lot of people have a hard time contending with.
	The time travelers may be there now.
	And if there is to be time travel, they probably are there right now.
	Oh, there you are.
	I thought it interesting that we appear to have a quantum computer.
	All right, well, I'm going to be rather interested to see how you answer this gigundous question.
	That was a word that a fellow used on the show yesterday that I think I may adopt.
	Gigundous question.
	If you were God, what would you do differently?
	Dare anybody take a shot at that one.
	Truly a gigundous question.
	Just one more little item here.
	This is a... Actually, I've got a list of these, and I thought this one was particularly interesting.
	It's a medical student who wrote it.
	Says he's currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the Poison Control Center, and today a woman called in very, very upset because her little daughter had been eating ants.
	I don't think I ever ate ants.
	Did you?
	I saw my wife ate an ant when we were in South Africa.
	We were in Africa, actually, Eastern Africa, and they have these giant ant hills that are like six feet tall.
	I mean, they're as big as a full-grown man.
	They're big ant hills, folks, and the ants in these ant hills are Termites.
	Very small difference.
	That's right, a termite.
	Well, no difference anyway.
	Termites build these giant things and they are really big termites.
	Really ferocious termites.
	And as part of one of those safaris we went out on, we were invited to eat a termite.
	Now, I turned that down right away.
	I wouldn't voluntarily eat a live termite, but my wife did.
	Now, the instructions were clear, and that was that you had to get the termite in your mouth and in between your teeth and crunch the termite before the termite realized that it was on a soft tongue.
	In other words, the last thing you want to do is obviously throw a little thing with claws or whatever on your tongue.
	And my wife put it on her tongue.
	And the termite, obligingly, took a piece of her tongue out, and then she aggressively crunched him.
	But beforehand, he took with him a little piece of her tongue, and it bled for some time.
	And ever since then, and actually, I've never regretted making the decision I did not to do that.
	It's an interesting invitation, but I don't know, I just, you know, it's not one of those things that I would jump right to.
	And that were perfect matches, we were opposites.
	And were perfect matches in that regard.
	But it was, I do have to admit, it was fun to watch.
	You're listening to Art Bell, somewhere in time.
	Tonight featuring Coast to Coast AM from January 11th, 2002.
	I watched into that story about Africa and my wife.
	I couldn't resist, and I forgot to tell you about the rest of this anyway.
	Here he is in toxicology at the Poison Control Center, and this woman calls in all very upset because she had caught her little daughter eating ants.
	So, this gentleman quickly reassures her that the ants are not harmful, not really, and there'd be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital.
	Right?
	So she calmed down, and then just at the very end of the conversation added, happened to mention, that she had given her daughter some ant poison to kill the ants.
	At which point she was obviously told she had better bring her daughter in right now to the emergency room.
	Right now!
	It takes a village, and we have some strange people in this country.
	We really, really have some strange people that do things that are just completely indecipherable.
	I've got tons of these.
	Maybe I'll read you some more of them.
	Anyway, open lines.
	Friday night, Saturday morning.
	We have given you enough brain food this week with all the programs we've done.
	Boy, do we have some good ones coming up next week so that you should not have a problem commenting on anything at all.
	If you wish to tackle my question... Oh, that's the only other thing I want to say.
	If you wish to tackle my question about God, then you must tackle it both in the spirit and the rule of the law of the question.
	And the rule is, it must be answered exactly as it is asked.
	If you were God, what would you do differently?
	I wonder if people are going to have a hard time answering that, or an easy time.
	Now, people leapt.
	Virtually leapt at the devil.
	They jumped.
	What a question.
	I couldn't stop it.
	I had email coming in from people who had devil answers.
	So we'll see what you do with God.
	Everybody thought, well, really ought to be fair, and I agree.
	I just put a little twist on it.
	Just a little twist.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Hello.
	Hello.
	I don't believe it.
	Well, you should believe it.
	You are here.
	Where are you, please?
	I'm Michael in Las Vegas, KDWN.
	Ah, the monster on 720 in Las Vegas.
	Yes, my alma mater station.
	Yes.
	Been here nine years and going, what am I doing?
	Anyway, I had an answer for you right away.
	I would tell Art Bell time travel is not possible.
	However, I would tell him that alternate dimensions are possible.
	Well, then time travel is probably going to be possible.
	I mean, our nation's best minds, sir, the best theoretical physicists in the world believe that.
	So why don't you?
	Well, that doesn't make them right.
	Well, I just said they believe that.
	Why don't you?
	Yes.
	I said that to my mom a lot when I was a kid.
	Because?
	Because?
	Well, in this case, because works.
	I got that.
	We have a moment.
	Now we have another moment.
	We can't get that last moment back.
	All we have is right now, and that's all there is, is now.
	Well, you know, that's a kind of, all right, well, fine.
	Pedestrian thinking, sir.
	Pedestrian thinking.
	All we have is now.
	No past, no future, but now.
	Only now.
	And now forever.
	I'm not so convinced.
	I think there's going to be time travel.
	I think there is time travel.
	I think there are time travelers.
	And frankly, that makes a whole lot more sense if some of our nation's greatest minds Are correct.
	I have no way of knowing anything for sure, but... I think it's coming.
	First time caller online.
	You're on the air.
	Hello.
	Hi, Art.
	If I were God, what I would do, right?
	If you were... No, the question is, if you were God, what would you do differently?
	If I were God, I would be one hell of an imperfect God.
	Well, but I didn't ask that.
	I don't care.
	Whether you're perfect, imperfect, upside down, inside out, what would you do differently?
	That's the question.
	In other words, I wouldn't be able to do nothing better than the God is what's... Well, then you are.
	Okay, I appreciate your stab at it, but you, obviously, sir, are an example of exactly what I just warned against.
	If you can't answer the question, don't call!
	Well, I couldn't do anything better than God.
	I didn't say better, I said different.
	Maybe it would be worse.
	But I want a direct, in the spirit, and the letter of the law answer to the question, what would you do differently if you were God?
	Once for the Rockies, you're on the air, hello.
	Hi Art, this is Bill, I'm calling you from Grants Pass, Oregon.
	Yes sir.
	If I were God, and we were taking it from this moment forward, I would cause all people to speak a universal language.
	And I would have all people, when they approach another person, to see the most beautiful person that they've ever seen in their life, even if it was an image of themselves.
	Now, just the language thing by itself is pretty good, sir.
	How would the world be different if we all spoke the same language, period?
	Yeah, that would eliminate the miscommunication, because we would...
	as we're speaking the words we would understand them without trying to
	translate them in our minds that could only be achieved of course with the you know
	what's very one world government well that would be a well we're we're
	talking about god taking his people who he has created
	and suddenly just suddenly uh... making them to their people and uh... well
	well i don't know i i i All right.
	Well, fine.
	If you do that, fine.
	I don't know that there wouldn't be repercussions to that, though.
	You know, kind of a world where everybody spoke the same language and was totally peaceful, and they all walk around in white togas.
	I think I saw that in Star Trek.
	And they all walk around in white togas.
	Of course, there was a little hitch in that plan, too.
	You'll recall.
	Because there was a price to pay for the White Togo life.
	Every now and then, one of these creatures that would provide the... I mean, after all, you just can't get something from nothing, and so the creatures under the ground manufactured all the goods to keep the lifestyle good for the people of the White Togos up on top of the world.
	But every now and then, they would grab the people of the White Togos And chow down.
	Or something like that.
	Alright, we'll, uh, we'll break here.
	If you were God, what would you do differently?
	In your creation.
	The trip back in time continues, with Art Bell hosting Coast to Coast AM.
	More somewhere in time coming up.
	Oh, in my magic.
	Oh, my.
	I want to dream of a.
	So I don't have to dream alone.
	Dream lover.
	Where are you?
	With a love for so few.
	So.
	Oh.
	He took a hundred pounds of clay And then he said, hey listen I'm gonna fix this world today Because I know what's missing Then he rolled his big sleeves up And a brand new world began He created Now, we take you back to the past on Art Bell Somewhere in Time.
	That's what he did.
	But this morning I'm giving you a chance to see what it is you would do.
	A hundred pounds of clay. He made my life worth living.
	You're listening to Art Bell, somewhere in time.
	Tonight featuring Coast to Coast AM, from January 11th, 2002.
	You know, I was thinking, that guy said that everybody in the world should instantly be made to speak the same language.
	And I thought, you know, what guarantee is?
	You just automatically think English, of course.
	Wrong.
	Probably be French.
	This is, allegedly, a true story.
	A man wanting to rob a downtown bank of America in San Francisco walked into the branch and wrote, this is a stick-up.
	S-T-I-K-K-U-P.
	Put all your money, M-U-N-Y, in the bag.
	While standing in line waiting to give this note to the teller, he began to worry that someone might have seen him write the note and might call the police before he got up to the window.
	So, he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank.
	After waiting a few minutes in line, he hands this note to the Wells Fargo teller.
	She reads it, surmising from his spelling that he wasn't the brightest bulb in the harbor.
	She told him, She could not accept this stick-up note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip, and that he'd either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to the Bank of America looking somewhat defeated.
	The man said, OK, and left.
	They arrested him just a few moments later, waiting in line at the Bank of America.
	First time caller line, you're on the air.
	Hello.
	Hello, Art.
	Yes, hi there.
	Hey, Art, after I tell you my idea, I'm hoping to ask you a brief question.
	Hmm.
	What I would do is I would grant the following powers to all humans and higher animals, you know, like dogs or cats or mice, birds, things like that.
	Yes.
	Total invulnerability, immortality, and the ability to fly anywhere at any speeds up to the speed of light.
	Unbreakable, huh?
	Yep, so that you could just zoom from here to the moon with your cats right behind you.
	Or go farther.
	Somehow, I think there's a big hitch in this one, but I don't know.
	Spacefaring cats.
	I'll have to think about that.
	Anyway, you have a question, sir?
	Yes.
	About a year ago, you interviewed a gentleman, a self-made millionaire.
	I believe he made his millions from selling an invention of a type of toy.
	He was going to try to launch himself into low-altitude Earth.
	Oh, yes.
	That, sir, is coming up this spring.
	I think he said he was originally scheduled for November.
	No, no, no.
	It was moved to the spring, and I am going to be there.
	Well, you know, I hope that that actually turns out to be a real thing.
	Oh, it's not a hoax, sir.
	Well, you know what I mean.
	Just someone's braggadocio.
	Didn't you see his rocket?
	Well, yes, but I'm skeptical, but I want it to be true.
	Oh, no, no, no.
	This man is serious.
	Now, what are the odds?
	You know, of his actually being able to do this.
	Well, I thought the best idea was the reviewing stand with cheering fans and dancing girls ready for his landing.
	I thought that was a nice touch.
	Absolutely.
	I mean, if you were going to do something like that, wouldn't you want, at the very least, dancing girls?
	Oh, certainly.
	All right.
	Well, have a good morning.
	And not only that, but we'll interview him before he launches.
	He's going to launch himself into low Earth orbit.
	And why not?
	There are many who will try and stop him, I'm sure, but why not?
	I mean, if that's what you want to do, and you want to build a rocket, this is America by God, and you ought to be allowed to do it.
	And if you blow yourself up, well then, that, my friend, is the free will given to us by the real one up there.
	A wild card line, you are on the air.
	Hello.
	Hello.
	Hi.
	Hi.
	This is Denise.
	I'm calling from Oregon.
	Hi, Denise.
	Hi, there.
	First, I'd like to say I have enjoyed your show for years.
	Thank you.
	And learned so much, and I'm very grateful that you're on the air.
	Well, thank you.
	Regarding the question, I would not do anything differently.
	Well, then you can't answer the question.
	Yes, I can.
	No, you can't.
	Because the question specifies you must specify what you would do differently.
	But if the whole The reason for God is that he's done everything perfectly and it's up to us.
	I don't want to argue this with you, ma'am.
	You're not answering the question.
	You must answer the question by stating something you would do differently.
	But the question is moot.
	Well then, you shouldn't attempt to answer it.
	There's no question to answer, because God is already perfect.
	I know, but people have free will.
	That's right.
	People have free will.
	And part of that free will would be an attempt to answer this question, and to live within even the spirit, the most remote spirit of the question, you have to try and answer it.
	Oh, but that's what drove me to call, the spirit.
	Because the spirit is with us, it's not with God.
	God's already perfect.
	Alright, well I appreciate the call, but you flunk.
	You've got to answer the question straight on.
	That's it.
	You've got to answer it straight on.
	You cannot call and say, well, God is perfect, and so I won't try to answer.
	Well, then you're not answering the question.
	I have a feeling there are plenty of people out there capable of answering this question.
	Might be slightly blasphemous, I suppose, but I know you can do it.
	East of the Rockies, you're... I mean, it's only speculation.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Hello.
	Art?
	I have two things I would do were I the creator.
	See, I knew it.
	Excuse me, this is Marcia in Van Buren, Arkansas, listening to you on KYHN 1320.
	In where?
	Van Buren?
	Yes, KYHN is in Fort Smith.
	I'm just across the river.
	Oh, you're in Arkansas.
	Okay.
	Yes.
	Okay.
	Anyway, were I the creator, the first thing I would do would make sure that my message to all people, not just earthlings, but to all people's Would be personal enough and clear enough that everyone would understand that there was one creator.
	And I would have my... So there'd be like a megaphone shouting at everybody somehow or another?
	Well, not quite that.
	It'd be like God fireside chats where he... But instead of having all the different denominations, well, this is the way you interpret the Bible.
	That's the way you interpret the Bible.
	I would not allow that.
	So, clearer communication?
	Yes.
	The other thing would be the understanding of the human race on earth that they are by far not the only intelligent life I've created.
	Thank you so much.
	You're welcome.
	Take care.
	There's a lot going on with dolphins.
	That's really interesting.
	We've talked a lot about that lately.
	Dolphins really are a variant.
	Dolphins may be as smart as we are in a different way.
	And it was kind of interesting the other night talking about uplifting.
	Uplifting a creature like a dolphin to be able to speak and other human-like attributes.
	I don't know.
	It's a fascinating concept, but again, it's toying around a bit much with my taste, with Mother Nature, to change the nature of it.
	But then again, maybe that's what was done to create us.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Hello.
	Mr. Bell?
	Yes, that would be me.
	How you doing tonight?
	I'm doing fine, sir.
	Where are you?
	I am currently roosting at a truck stop in Sparks.
	Sparks, Nevada?
	Yeah, biggest little town up here.
	I like it up here.
	I gotta tell you listeners, if they haven't cut through your neck of the woods yet, they're missing out big time.
	It's beautiful.
	I finally figured out what the hell the Kingdom of Nine was.
	Really?
	Well, good.
	It's absolutely beautiful to drive from Vegas to Reno at night.
	It absolutely is.
	It's one of the most spectacular things you can do and it's like, to me, one of the wonders of the world.
	The desert is an amazing place.
	I purposely stopped right there by Scotty Junction just so I could be totally alone and watch these shooting stars.
	I've got a comment about the Yucca Mountain debacle you guys are going to be having here pretty soon.
	Oh, he's pository.
	Yeah, I hear a lot about your local government up here.
	Your senators and all that are going to try and fight it, but what's to say it won't go the way of Groom Lake in Area 51, where they pretty much won't have much to say about it in the end, probably.
	I mean, what's to keep those people from doing it?
	Without our knowledge.
	I mean, without giving people in Nevada a chance to speak about it.
	Well, that is what they're doing.
	I mean, they have given us a chance to speak about it.
	They just don't care about what we say.
	Yeah, I mean, I thoroughly believe that in the long run, no one's going to have a say about it.
	You know, even if Bush decided to not go against it, I don't think no one's going to have a choice in the matter, because it seems to me that they're going to be pretty hell-bent on doing it.
	I know.
	You know what we need real quick?
	We need a really big earthquake right at about Yucca Mountain.
	I don't know.
	I would hate to see that area get shook too bad.
	Oh, no, no.
	It'd be fine.
	Just something that would open up the ground and a few eyes.
	Answer your question.
	I think your last call kind of stole my thunder, but I was going to say I would make damn sure everybody knew there was only one religion.
	I think that would have maybe eliminated a lot of wars.
	Just out of curiosity, which one would that be?
	You know, I don't know.
	I haven't thought that far ahead yet.
	I think if I were God, I would make sure there was only one.
	And, you know, maybe in the long run that would have saved us a lot of grief throughout history because, you know, a lot of people have died in the name of religion.
	And various gods.
	Absolutely.
	All right.
	Thank you very much.
	And various gods.
	Oh, yes.
	People always killing their God's name.
	You can't get to something as serious as killing without invoking God.
	Whatever God.
	God's word in this hand and a gun in this hand.
	That's how it's done.
	First time caller online, you're on the air.
	Hello.
	Good evening, Art.
	I've been a long time waiting to get a hold of you.
	Where are you, pray tell?
	I am in Avon Lake, Ohio.
	My name is Bernie.
	Yes, Bernie.
	Being that God would do something different, what would I do differently?
	That's right.
	Uh, I would, uh, leave everybody to their own devices around the world and let them go where they really deserve to go.
	Yeah, but that's happening now.
	That's not different.
	Uh, no, but, uh, being God, uh, I intervene wherever I can to help try to keep everybody from going where they deserve to go.
	So if I would do something differently, everybody would really be in bad shape.
	I see.
	Well, yeah, I was thinking about that one earlier.
	In other words, you finally pass away, and you arrive at the pearly gates, and, oh, to your surprise, you know what you've done in your life, and you get up there and ask for forgiveness, and they say, you know, forgiveness?
	No!
	There's no forgiveness.
	What a shock.
	Wildcard Line, you're on the air.
	Hello.
	Yeah, hi.
	Hello.
	Um, just wanted to talk to Art.
	Well, there's a good chance that's actually occurring right now.
	Hello?
	Yes.
	Are you hearing me?
	There's a good chance that's actually occurring right now.
	Possibly.
	Um, yeah.
	There's an old saying that, you know, there is only one God, but the wise call upon many names.
	So be it, you know, Buddha, God, Jehovah.
	Well, no, I don't know about that.
	People seem to feel they're different characters.
	A lot of them are different characters.
	Entirely.
	Yeah, but if you really dive into the different religions... And wait, anyway, so that is not the question.
	The question is, if you were, if you prefer any one of these gods, what would you do differently?
	What would I do differently?
	Yes.
	Oh, you would stop technology?
	In other words, all technological things would just suddenly vanish?
	Well, if you've noticed over the last 60 years of heavy industry, we've more or less destroyed this planet.
	Well, you know, there would be mass suicides.
	People would be jumping off of cliffs, because there wouldn't be any skyscrapers, but they'd find cliffs, they'd jump off those, and people wouldn't be able to take it without technology.
	But I suppose then the ones that would be left would be pleasing to you.
	Well, eradicate technology before it happens.
	You know?
	You would what?
	Not letting technology evolve the way it has.
	Hmm.
	Instead of basically raping the earth, create, you know, certain aspects of energy to be found earlier than what they have been.
	That's interesting, but the trouble is, you see, that would take technology, and you took that away.
	Of course, I suppose there could be an entirely different kind of A technology, and we've certainly speculated about that.
	If we hadn't followed the present linear scientific course that we have, that perhaps the technology of the ancients would have developed.
	But then again, you could also say, well, the ancients, if they were so hot and they had such great technology, what the hell happened to them?
	They're gone.
	Post-history.
	We're here.
	They're not.
	I don't know.
	East of the Rockies, you are on the air.
	Hey, Art, it's such a pleasure to get through to you.
	Glad you're through.
	Where are you?
	I'm in St.
	Augustine, Florida.
	My name is Kathy.
	Hi, Kath.
	And I tell you, I do want to give a legitimate answer to your question.
	Thank you.
	I will say I don't know that I believe these days in a God, but I was raised... It's not necessary to answer the question.
	Well, okay.
	I do fear that the Judeo-Christian God may be real, and I'd like to say that... Well, that's what they want you to do.
	They want you to fear.
	Well, there you go.
	I think that if I were He, I would not have given people free will and then punished them for using it in certain ways.
	That's what I would do.
	That's a very good point.
	Thank you.
	I'm going to have to think about that a little bit, but it's actually a pretty good point.
	You give somebody free will, it's a gift, and then you punish them when they use it.
	Yeah.
	I think about that a lot.
	Yeah, it's a really hard concept, the whole concept of free will and God and the whole thing.
	It's really hard.
	But anyway, that's a good answer.
	Well, thanks for taking my call.
	Thank you very much for making it.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Hello.
	How are you doing?
	I'm doing okay.
	I would have made the seeds and avocados smaller.
	Well, that's a pretty small thing.
	Why would you have... That's from the movie with George Burns and John Denver.
	Oh, God.
	Make the seeds smaller?
	Yeah, he said he made them make the seeds smaller.
	Well, then this is an original then.
	You had to steal this from a movie.
	It was a small joke.
	Oh, I see.
	Is there anything you really would do, sir, as God?
	You know, differently?
	Yeah, I'd put a big sign on the rock of Gibraltar, saying I created everything.
	Signed God.
	Signed God, all right.
	So, an inscription on the rock of Gibraltar.
	That might have been all right.
	Or some other totally gigandous formation of some sort that would be around for literally all time for mankind to see forever.
	Sort of a final instruction for mankind.
	That's good.
	That's very good.
	First time caller line, you are on the air.
	Hello.
	Hello, Art?
	Yes.
	Yes, this is Luella, and I'm listening to you on KNYE 95.1 and 4 up.
	Yes!
	How you doing?
	Thank you.
	Hi.
	And if I were God, I would eliminate hate, greed, envy, jealousy, and hunger.
	Well, but then what would you be left with?
	Oh, I think love in the world where there wouldn't be murders and I don't know.
	Wouldn't you be running the risk though, you know bad as many of those things are, of making
	it boring?
	Well, that would be a possibility, but I think it would be better, I don't know, I think
	we just got rid of all those things that maybe the world would be a lot better place.
	And yet those things must be here for a reason.
	I just would get tired of ketchup soup.
	It's an inside joke here in Burrump.
	All right, thank you dear.
	Okay.
	Take care.
	A listener to 95.1 KNYE here in Burrump.
	Ketchup soup.
	There is a public service announcement tonight.
	Don't mean to make fun of it in any way, but we do run it on GameYE.
	And, uh, it's about ketchup soup.
	And, you know, it's about hunger.
	And, uh, the way they do it is, uh, somewhat humorous.
	Ketchup soup, I think it says.
	If kids get hungry enough, they'll eat anything.
	Ketchup soup.
	Ronald Reagan said ketchup was a food, and actually it really is.
	Ketchup's suit every day and for how long.
	I'm Art Bell.
	This is Premier Networks.
	That was Art Bell hosting Coast to Coast AM on this Somewhere in Time.
	I said we tried loving, touching, squeezing each other When I'm alone, all by myself in your eyes
	With someone else, loving, touching, squeezing Some velvet morning when I'm alone, all by myself in your
	eyes Bells in morning when I...
	I'm gonna open up your gate And maybe tell you about Phaedra and how she gave me life and how she made it in.
	Some velvet morning when I'm estranged.
	Flowers growing on a hill, dragonflies and daffodils. Learn from us very much. Look at us but do not touch.
	Phaedra is my name.
	Some velvet morning when I'm estranged.
	I'm not a fan of the sound of that.
	I'm gonna open up your gate and maybe This is a gigundously good song.
	No question about it.
	By the way, this coming week we're going to have Lee Hazelwood's son on the program.
	Networks presents Art Bell, Somewhere in Time.
	Tonight featuring Coast to Coast AM from January 11, 2002.
	This is a gigundously good song, no question about it.
	By the way, this coming week we're going to have Lee Hazlewood's son on the program.
	I'm serious, Lee Hazlewood's son.
	This coming week, that's going to be very, very interesting.
	Alright, stay right where you are.
	Remember now, the question is, if you were God, what would you do differently?
	If you were God, what would you do differently?
	You're listening to Art Bell, somewhere in time.
	Tonight featuring Coast to Coast AM from January 11th, 2002.
	Once again, away we go.
	First time caller line, you're on the air.
	Hi.
	Hello again, sir.
	I apologize for being on the cell phone.
	I'm in the courtyard of one of those huge, monstrous cement buildings.
	I'm sure I probably sound awful on this.
	Well, you sound a little god-like.
	Like you're coming through a dimension, but that's all right.
	That's rather interesting.
	Where are you?
	I'm in Florida.
	Listening to you on 970 WFLA.
	Uh-huh.
	Okay.
	Very good.
	Proceed.
	Okay, the god question.
	I believe that Instead of universal language, we should have universal background music.
	Universal background music?
	That way you wouldn't even need the language.
	You could tell just by the music that's playing, if the person you were talking to had good intentions, evil intentions, if they were your friend, if they were an enemy.
	You know, you wouldn't even need the music.
	It might just be so much more pleasant if we had constant music coming around, you know, just filtered through the air.
	Well... It would make things so much more interesting.
	A sort of a heavenly muzak, actually.
	What kind of music would you impose upon the people?
	Probably instrumental.
	Or maybe a preface, if people could learn to sort of manifest our psychological abilities.
	We could perhaps create it ourselves.
	Don't you think, though, that well-intentioned as that idea might be, There would be people who would hate it, and they would hold their ears, and they would go, God, stop!
	Well, anybody who really hates music probably isn't a very good person to begin with.
	Why not?
	But most people like music, but I mean, it is a matter of taste.
	There's certain pieces of music that, you know, there was a song called The Lion Sleeps Tonight, and the world loved that.
	I hated that record.
	Oh my God, I hated that record.
	Most of the stuff that they have on the radio now is complete.
	Garbage.
	That's awful.
	I like the stuff you play so much better.
	I wish I got the prom channel here.
	Thank you so very much.
	Yes, I agree with that.
	Maybe a sign of age, but even when it came out, I hated The Lion Sleeps Tonight.
	It's just something that absolutely is like chalk, you know, like chalk on a board or fingernails going down a blackboard to me.
	That's what it's like.
	There are a couple other songs like that.
	So you will never hear The Lion Sleeps Tonight on KNYE, not a chance in hell.
	Then there's one other, I'm trying to remember, there's another one that I really, really, really dislike.
	I intentionally block it from my memory, I'm sure.
	Can you imagine that sort of muzak everywhere, impossible to get away from?
	It wouldn't matter.
	She's shouting at me, what is it?
	What is it?
	Oh, yeah.
	That's the other one.
	God save the world from the Duke of Earl.
	You remember that?
	Duke, Duke, Duke, Duke of Earl.
	Oh, God.
	But it's all a matter of taste.
	I mean, those were big hits.
	So obviously a lot of you out there must love those songs.
	But when I hear them, it's like it's like knives being placed into my back.
	And believe me, I know what that's like.
	A wild card line.
	You're on the air.
	Hello.
	Did you say wild card?
	Yes, that would be you.
	Oh, the wild got caught off on your voice for some reason.
	Well, things happen, sir.
	Welcome.
	Yeah, thanks.
	It's 6.40 a.m.
	here in L.A., California.
	Okay, F.I.
	Yes, sir.
	Yeah, and I was just going to say that, well, if I were to make a little decision there on the guide point, it would be all of the animals on the earth Or anywhere else in the universe, become vegetarians, that way the dog wouldn't chase the cat, the cat wouldn't chase the mouse, we'd live in peace, pretty much.
	All things would be vegetarians?
	That's right, yeah.
	Are you a vegetarian?
	No, I tried it, he scared me, you know why?
	Why?
	Because it took the animal instinct out of me, and I could feel that I lacked... You were becoming a wimp.
	Exactly, yeah.
	I felt like... I know you like eating calves.
	You talked about her.
	Oh, absolutely.
	You know, I think you're probably right.
	I mean, it would do that.
	It would take the oomph out of you.
	Right.
	We would be a fighting force of nothing.
	But don't you think that we're not really intended to be all wimp-like, because that's why we eat meat?
	Yeah, because when I stopped eating meat for a while, I really felt that.
	If someone were to attack me, I wouldn't be able to protect myself.
	It's really weird.
	There's an animal instinct into us.
	A bloodthirst or something.
	When we eat meat, it subconsciously programs us to be violent.
	You're damn right.
	Give me meat.
	Give me combat.
	Give me killing.
	Let's break stuff.
	It's nasty and horrible when you think about it, but it's subconscious and instinctive in our existence.
	It's burgers that made America great, sir.
	That's all right.
	I appreciate your call.
	Thank you.
	We are a warlike people.
	We are a testosterone-filled group of walking, angry people, and all of that can be attributed to me.
	That and more!
	But that's what made us great by God.
	Oh, yeah.
	He was a guy.
	East of the Rockies, you are on the air.
	Hello.
	Thank you for taking my call.
	Very welcome, thank you for making it.
	I would make people have magic powers, you know, kind of like a I Dream of Jeannie, or Bewitched, or something like that, you know?
	But they can only do good with it, though.
	If they were caught doing something bad, then it would be taken away from them.
	Then the power would be revoked, huh?
	Yes.
	You don't honestly think that's well?
	Of course, you'd be God, so you could absolutely have it that way.
	Nothing but good deeds going on.
	Mm-hmm.
	I wonder what kind of world that would be?
	Hmm.
	I don't know.
	It's kind of interesting.
	But you couldn't be more powerful than God, though.
	God would have, you know... No, you'd have to have powers with a small p. Yes.
	All right.
	Thank you very much.
	But you could only do good.
	I doubt that's the way it would be.
	I rather doubt that's the way it would be.
	If we all have the powers of the genie, you know darn well the kinds of things that we'd use them for.
	Right, guys?
	The imagination knows no limits when you consider the possibilities.
	It's a little wrinkle of the nose, and she's yours.
	Whatever.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air, hello.
	Hey Eric, this is Abe from Salt Lake City, listening on 570 KNRS.
	Yes, sir.
	Yeah, well, you know, if I was God, and it's funny, I had to answer this question because I was talking to my friend about it, and I've always thought it'd be a great thing if I was my own creator of my world, and I was God.
	That's right.
	That I would, I would create.
	As a plague, for those that are unrepentant, and the cities that don't seem to want to keep my commandments, I would create a plague of giant spiders.
	Oh, I hate spiders.
	I hate them too, so I think it would be the perfect thing to just creep somebody out so much that, you know, about the size of a pit bull.
	Spiders the size of a pit bull, and they would descend on an entire city that had misbehaved.
	That's right, and you know, they'd make a really awful hiss, like a...
	Just scare the hell out of you.
	They'd probably gnash their teeth like that commercial I have about grinding, you know?
	Yeah, you know, and I think, you know, you put that once in humanity, then, you know, they'd write about it, and they'd say, you know, listen to what, you know, God's saying to you, because if you don't... You are absolutely right, sir.
	I mean, it wouldn't take but once.
	Look what happened to Salt Lake City.
	Do you want this to happen to you?
	That's right.
	Beware the spiders.
	That's right.
	All right, sir.
	I appreciate your call.
	Thank you.
	A plague of pit bull-sized spiders.
	That probably would do it.
	Boy, when you saw those babies coming.
	The horizon turning black.
	The gnashing of teeth.
	the hunger of those who are about to do God's job on you and your city.
	First Time Caller line, you're on the air.
	Hello.
	Yes, hello, Mr. Bell.
	How are you?
	Pretty good.
	I just wanted to answer if I was God.
	Yes, good.
	Turn your question, your radio down, please.
	OK.
	And actually raise the volume of your question, or your answer.
	OK.
	Well, if I was God, I would make a planet for each different race.
	And then I would have one planet for all races.
	Now, would these planets be separate but equal?
	Yes, separate but equal on the same axis as the planet Earth is currently.
	Each planet would have rain forests and deserts and oceans and all the benefits that we seem to have here.
	Yes, each planet would be with the same land configuration and we would be able to travel between these planets, one government per planet.
	But then, if you had to travel between the planets, You said for each race, right?
	Right, right.
	Pretty soon it would be just like it is here because the rockets would go back and forth and, you know, you'd have mixed people again.
	Well, that's why I would add an additional planet for all races.
	So people that want to... Oh, I see.
	The ones that mix would go to the mixed planet.
	Exactly.
	And the others would stay on the segregated separate but equal planets.
	Exactly.
	Hell of a plan, hell of a plan.
	I appreciate your call, sir, and I guess that would translate to the way he thinks about things generally in life, wouldn't you?
	That everybody ought to be separate.
	And yet, actually, America, for all its faults, is the best place to be by a country mile in the world.
	We are the best country, period.
	Do a little world travel, and you'll very quickly come to that conclusion.
	People have been out long enough, they come back and they kiss the ground.
	They're doing that for a good reason.
	It's because they've seen something else.
	A lot of people that lived here in the United States don't know what it's like elsewhere.
	And yet, here we are, all mixed up.
	That formula has been the one that's worked, yes.
	There's been strife between the races, but the fact of the matter is, it works best when they're all mixed together.
	And the proof of that is right here, and if you doubt that, travel a little bit.
	So I don't know.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Cheerio.
	Hi, Art.
	Hello.
	If I was God, I would make skunk apes not smell so bad.
	That's all that prevents you from trying to get next to a skunk ape?
	We have a lot of them down here in Florida.
	You're in Florida?
	Yeah.
	Did you see the photographs I had of the skunk apes?
	They were incredible.
	No, but I heard the guy last night, and he was fantastic.
	Oh, yes.
	But we've got them on Buckingham Road down here by Lehigh Acres.
	Really?
	And, you know, it seems like they're migratory, though.
	Through the winter, you don't see them, but come, like, May, April or May.
	Well, how many of these things have you seen?
	Three.
	But they're always together.
	It's like a family.
	And they actually talk.
	I mean, they'd be out in the cow pasture.
	Because out there, the zoning laws, you've got to have at least five acres.
	And they actually have, like, a language.
	I mean, the thing sounded like it was saying, you'll laugh at it, but it sounded like it was saying, loop-a-lobby-lord.
	A lovey lord.
	A lovey lord?
	No, a lovey lord.
	Loop, a lovey lord.
	The mother was talking to the baby one day.
	Out in the cow pasture.
	Oh, and you think the... They think terrible.
	My dog dropped out of a heart attack because of it.
	Your dog had a heart attack?
	Yeah.
	The smell was that bad?
	Yeah, no.
	I mean, it scared him.
	You know, those things being around.
	But everybody out there knows they're out there and nobody bothers them.
	I mean, they're loud.
	At 3.30 in the morning out there, they would wake everybody up because they're... You know where some guy said that sounded like on the tape that you have where it sounds like he said Church steeple and someone yelling?
	No, no, no, that is a skunk ape.
	That is what they sound like.
	The other one is a Bigfoot, but that is a skunk ape.
	Yeah, it's an authentic recording.
	That's exactly how they sounded out there at night, every night, 3.30 in the morning.
	And you're not afraid of them?
	Oh yeah, I moved back into town.
	Oh, you did?
	Yeah.
	Because of the skunking?
	Oh, yeah.
	This was after... A guy across the street, he packed up overnight and left.
	I mean, he was gone.
	You know, I'm sure if people are listening, you know, I wish they'd call in and let you know because, I mean, everybody out there is... And, like, one night I called the police about it and they just laughed at me.
	They did?
	Yeah.
	Your life could be in danger and they chuckled at you?
	Yeah, because I was pulling in and... Well, how about your dog having a heart attack?
	They can't laugh that off.
	I know, and I mean... Maybe they could.
	I guess so, but I mean, he was a healthy, you know, thoroughbred dog.
	I mean, he was a full-blooded boxer, and it just broke my heart, because he was a $750 dog, you know, and he was used by the military police.
	Well, but that's not the part of it that's supposed to break your heart, though.
	No.
	But I mean, for him to get scared, because like I said, he worked as a military police dog.
	And for him to just drop dead from fear.
	Then you can only imagine how horrible it must have been.
	Yeah.
	Because they give them real serious training.
	But they do attack cats out there.
	My cats would come home with their throats ripped open.
	And I know that's what it was.
	Oh, that's horrible.
	How does a cat Come home with its throat ripped open, just out of curiosity.
	Sniper did.
	I beg your pardon?
	Sniper, my cat, he did.
	I know, but how did he make it home with his throat ripped open?
	It was ripped open, and I mean, I, I, um, you know, put the white tape around him and that, and he was like, then he went back out and then he didn't come home.
	You taped him up?
	Uh-huh.
	Um, okay.
	Um, well, listen, one more question.
	Why would you, uh, name your cat Sniper.
	Uh, because he was one of those little black and white cats where he had the, um, black over his eyes on a white face.
	Yeah.
	And when I first got him, he was in a, um, a drop off at a, uh, mall and he was down in the fern, scared of people, looking, peeking out.
	And he just looked like a sniper sitting in there looking at me.
	So I, I snagged him up and took him home.
	That's how it happens.
	All right.
	Thank you.
	Well, I'm not sure that, uh, when your throat, uh, gets ripped out.
	The appropriate remedy is to grab some duct tape.
	You know, it probably isn't going to work and that probably isn't why Sniper came, didn't come home again.
	Just a guess.
	Wes to the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Hi Art.
	Yes sir.
	My name is Art, I'm calling from Livermore.
	Yes.
	If I was God, I would correct the one mistake I made.
	I would give all of my creations the ability to communicate with each other telepathically.
	Well, so even though we may have once had that ability, you would see to it that it
	was strong and present and always working.
	Always working.
	And we would all know what each other thought at any given time.
	We would definitely know why our care would not come to us.
	Yeah.
	That would be magic, wouldn't it?
	I'm Art Bell, and the trip back in time continues, with Art Bell hosting Coast to Coast AM.
	More somewhere in time coming up.
	And Marie's the name of his latest flame.
	He talked and talked and I heard him say That she had the longest, blackest hair
	The prettiest green eyes anywhere And Marie's the name of his latest flame.
	you Hmm.
	Though I smiled, the tears inside were burning.
	I wished him luck, and then he said goodbye.
	when he said goodbye he was gone but still his words kept returning
	Mississippi in the middle of the dry spell Jimmy Rogers on the lick-roll up high
	mama's dancing baby on her shoulder everything always wanting more
	smile religion
	music you're listening to art bell somewhere in time
	Tonight featuring Coast to Coast AM from January 11, 2002.
	And I see that Fast Blasters are contributing to this question as well, and Robert Huntsville Uh, Utah says I'd do this different, make one more commandment.
	Thou shalt have no other governments before me.
	Now, we take you back to the past on Arkbell Somewhere in Time.
	To be continued...
	To be continued...
	A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer.
	After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted on the counter on the shelf and so told the cashier to put that in the bag as well.
	Cashier refused and said, I don't believe you're over 21.
	Robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give him the booze.
	Because he said he didn't believe him.
	So at this point, the robber pulls out his driver's license and gives it to the clerk.
	The clerk looks it over and agrees the man is, in fact, over 21, gives him the scotch.
	Robber ran away with the loot.
	Cashier promptly, of course, called the police, gave them the name and address of the robber, and he was arrested about two hours later.
	Or this.
	A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop Nervously waving revolvers.
	The first one shouted, NOBODY MOVE!
	When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
	First time caller line, you are on the air.
	Hello.
	Hi there, Art.
	How are you doing?
	I'm alright, sir.
	Boy, I can see why...
	Most criminals are not terribly educated.
	I guess you could be so nervous and so dumb and a gun in your hand and you're screaming nobody move and your partner moves and you have just issued the command so you shoot the poor boy.
	Anyway, the guy you don't need is your partner.
	Yeah.
	Well, I'll tell you after hearing some of the calls tonight, your question, I can see why we're not at the divine steering wheel.
	That's actually, you put your finger on the overall point of the question in the first place, but it continues nevertheless, and I'll bet you have an answer.
	Well, I think there's two things I would do if I were in that seat.
	The first thing is I would give mankind an absolute 100% knowledge that there is a God.
	As much as, like, their heart's beating in their chest, you would know there is a God.
	The second thing I would do is give all of mankind One hundred percent empathy, whatever they did to someone else they felt.
	How could you be mean or cruel or go to war or kill if you felt how you made Well, I am told that when you have an NDE and you experience a full life review that that is exactly what you do.
	You feel the emotions of everybody that you have ever, you know, done a bad deed to and that's going to be a heavy trip.
	Maybe it's a latent life lesson or a beginning lesson.
	What I've always been curious about is why are only a very select few who have NDE's Given this incredible knowledge, while the rest of us are left to wonder if it is really so.
	I appreciate your call.
	Thank you very much.
	Having an NDE seems like an unfair amount of information for that person to absolutely have.
	Now, of course, we have them on the program.
	They tell us all about it here.
	But there's always going to be a shred of doubt, right?
	No matter how many stories you hear, there's always going to be a scintilla of doubt for many, and that seems so unfair that only a few would have that absolute experience.
	Wildcard Line, you're on the air.
	Hello.
	Hi, Art.
	I guess I'm God, huh?
	Well, for the moment.
	Okay.
	Well, I think, all right, first off, I'm omniscient.
	Well, yeah, of course.
	I know everything in advance.
	And that would make me think, what was I thinking at the time that I cast Satan out of heaven and onto the earth, where my children are, in which all the harm and hell would come to them?
	Actually, being God and knowing everything that is going to happen, right?
	You said it yourself.
	Wouldn't that be kind of a feedback loop from which one would only emerge doubting that one is God?
	I mean, if you know everything that's going to happen, and you can't change anything, essentially, because you're going to do it, Are you really God, or are you just on somebody's puppet string?
	Boy, that's a good question.
	That's a good question.
	Well, I was just going to say that since we have all those other planets out there, and I know that, why wouldn't I have sent Satan to those places where there's no life, where nobody would have suffered?
	Instead of here, where all this suffering would come from?
	Well, because we are at play, you see.
	In the field of dreams down here, we are the souls, are what is in play.
	We are the prize.
	I mean, that is what I'm told.
	Seems a little bit unfair, though.
	Yeah, there's a whole lot of stuff about life that just flat isn't fair.
	Yeah, that's true.
	That's the way life is.
	I appreciate your call.
	Thank you.
	All right, take care.
	East of the Rockies, you are on the air.
	Hello.
	Hi Art.
	Hello.
	Good morning and thank you for paying for my call.
	This is Jim in Jacksonville, Florida, WOKV.
	Yes, sir.
	First thing I would have done was to Put the apples on the tree of knowledge of good and evil out of reach.
	And now I would make everyone willingly accept responsibility for their own actions.
	Eve would have screwed up the tree and knocked him down anyway.
	Well, did you ever try to climb a tree without any clothes on?
	Well, I know, it's a bitch, but she'd have gone up there anyway, and she had in mind to have, you know, Adam take a bite.
	And then I would make a little more clear the reason for our existence.
	That would be nice.
	That really would be nice.
	Yes, very good point, sir.
	There would be some sort of repository of knowledge About why we are here.
	That does seem to be the greatest mystery of them all, doesn't it?
	Some answer to that question.
	Now, maybe such questions lie beneath the Sphinx in Egypt.
	Who knows?
	Wouldn't it be nice, though, to essentially really understand why we are here?
	What is our purpose?
	You know, are we Mr. Sitchin's gold miners?
	Grown up?
	Sort of?
	Or what?
	West of the Rockies, you are on the air.
	Hello.
	That button.
	West of the Rockies, now you're on the air.
	Good morning.
	Hey, this is Fritz up in Alaska.
	I'm listening to you on 650K and I. Well, hi there, Fritz.
	Are you in Anchorage?
	No, I'm down here in Anchor Point.
	Anchor Point, Alaska.
	OK.
	You were asking about free will earlier.
	Well, in a way.
	Since I have free will, I can play cards in the middle of the freeway.
	But I'm going to suffer the consequences.
	Right.
	I can't blame that on God.
	And God wants us to choose Him willingly.
	If we don't, we suffer the consequences.
	That's not His fault.
	The question, however... What would I do if I was God?
	That is the question.
	No, no, no.
	Do differently.
	I would speed up the whole process so we can get this fiasco we call life over with.
	By that, do you mean you would have us die younger with better corpses, or you would simply shorten the life of the world altogether?
	Shorten the life of the world altogether.
	Go through the same routine, just do it a lot faster.
	All right.
	Very good.
	So bring it on.
	The end.
	You ever wonder about that?
	Would you want to be around for the end of the world or not?
	Would it be something that you would be interested in observing in your lifetime?
	This is really actually a very hard question.
	Would you like to see The end of the world, and I'm not saying bring it on, I'm just saying that if the world is going to end, would you like to see it in your lifetime?
	Most are going to say, no, of course not, I have children.
	But I wonder how many people would say, yes, you know, if it's going to happen, it would sure be interesting to see.
	Hear those hoof prints in the middle of the night, hear that horn a-blowin'?
	Yes, sirree, sir.
	Bring it on.
	First time caller of the line, you're on the air.
	Yes.
	Hi, Art.
	This is Tommy.
	Hello, Tommy.
	What part of the world are you in?
	I am in Roanoke, Virginia, traveling on the road.
	Okay.
	I've been kind of discouraged by some of the answers I've been hearing tonight.
	I've heard people start to touch on some things.
	I'm like, oh, they're going somewhere.
	And then, like the lady earlier, I thought she was going to go with the Seven Deadly Sins, and then she just kind of named like four of them and then just went away from it.
	I see.
	I guess the one thing, my background is, I'm a devout Baptist, and I have been since the fourth grade when I became a Christian, but I guess, I just wanted to entertain your question here, and if I were God, what I would want to do is, I would want us to have the ability to use our brains to our full capacity from birth.
	I feel like right now, I mean, there are some people that have tapped into it, and I've heard people talk about it many times, but I've been reading tonight about some people that obviously are not using even a small portion of their brains.
	Yes, I've been hearing that.
	But it just seems like almost right now it's like, since technology is so great, it seems like right now we're almost just like a hard drive with some emotions and a conscience and then we can move around with that.
	It would just be nice, and I think that some of the questions would be cleared up for everybody, As far as the existence of God and what they believe, if we had that stronger intelligence, that enlightened experience, I guess, if we could use... Let's consider what you said earlier for a second with regard to the seven deadly sins that you criticized Lady Olney for naming four of.
	If all of the seven deadly sins were gone, then nothing would be at play in here.
	And I mean by that the world.
	Nothing would be at play.
	If all the deadly sins were gone, you know, everything would be settled.
	There would be no dispute between God and the lower powers and all the rest of that.
	It'd be all over.
	Yeah, I agree.
	But then where does Satan come into play then?
	Does he still reside in heaven?
	Well, he's out of work.
	You know, he's the victim of the recession.
	I mean, he's gone.
	I appreciate the call, but I mean, you think about that.
	Everybody wants all the deadly sins gone.
	That's part of the free will that allows all these souls to be in play, right?
	And that's the whole game, isn't it?
	Souls in play.
	Wild Card Line, you're on the air.
	Hello.
	Yes, how are you doing?
	This is Mike in St.
	Pete, Florida.
	Yes, Mike.
	Yes, sir.
	Actually, I wanted to answer the God question tonight.
	I think that if I was God, probably every five years or so, I'd just show up and perform a miracle.
	It seemed all the cool miracles happened a long time ago.
	Well, you know, I've been thinking a lot about that, and there was a day when performing your average miracle.
	Uh, would have a great effect.
	I mean, people would go, oh, they'd fall to the ground, you know, because they would realize they are seeing something totally incredible.
	Now, today, you know, in 2002, it's hard to imagine what somebody could do that would not be simply and immediately disregarded by full class and all his friends as total baloney, you know, and a trick.
	Yep, exactly.
	It leaves doubt.
	Yeah.
	So in these days it would have to be something really good.
	I mean, Salt Lake gone to spiders, whatever.
	Come down and part the water.
	Every five years show up in a different spot in the world.
	Yeah, but see, I've been to theme parks where they part water.
	I've seen that.
	True.
	I appreciate your call, sir.
	It would be hard, ask God, to do something that would be so absolutely irrefutable.
	From a miraculous point of view.
	Totally irrefutable.
	Everybody would say, oh, it's a trick.
	An image in the sky, oh, it's modern laser technology, and they've tricked us.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Hello.
	Hi.
	Hi.
	Turn your radio off, please.
	Thank you.
	That's the first thing you've got to do.
	OK.
	Where are you?
	San Antonio.
	San Antonio.
	That's where I went to basic training.
	Really?
	Yeah, they terrorized me there.
	Brings a lot of people down here.
	Yes, it does.
	And who's this?
	Who would you think?
	Oh, this is Art Bell.
	Bingo.
	I'm so flattered.
	Well, I'm happy that you're happy, but I'm the only possibility when I answer.
	It's just hard to believe.
	Love your show.
	Been listening for years.
	Had to rearrange my life so I could listen.
	That's a lot.
	It's worth it.
	If I were God, I would see to it that everyone was capable of logical thinking.
	Now, that's pretty doggone good.
	In fact, I may like that the best yet.
	Not beyond, but just simple logical thinking.
	That would make it a better world, wouldn't it?
	I think so.
	It's so hard to talk to people who you see going out on tangents and you can't hurt their feelings telling them.
	That they're crazy?
	Yeah, or narrow-minded, or... Yes.
	Bigoted, or whatever.
	Tunnel vision, or whatever.
	Yeah.
	So, a world full of Spocks, basically.
	Right.
	Wouldn't that be great?
	Yes, it would.
	The only thing I would say is that, unlike Spock, of course, there are many who say that Spock had a good human part of emotion and so forth, but you would have to leave that emotion in place as well.
	The trouble is, Emotion gets in the way of logic, so if you were to impart logic to all, you would almost have to extract emotion, wouldn't you?
	I wouldn't want it to do that, because I think if you can think logically and still decide to do the emotional thing, can't you?
	No.
	No?
	No, no, no.
	A logical decision is a logical decision bereft of any emotion whatsoever.
	Oh, that's not so good.
	Darn!
	Damn the devil!
	Well, what if they were capable of, but wouldn't have to?
	Well, there are people capable of thinking logical, but as I read you these stories this morning, obviously many of them don't.
	I appreciate the call, ma'am.
	Interesting.
	It would be a better world if everybody was capable of thinking logically.
	I guess we wouldn't have to make it bereft of emotion, but to be pure, it certainly would have to be.
	Now, in Ann Arbor, Michigan, yet another example.
	The Ann Arbor News, the crime column in the Ann Arbor News, reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 12.50 AM, flashed a gun, and demanded cash.
	The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order.
	So, the man ordered onion rings.
	Clerk said, you can't have them for breakfast.
	The man, frustrated, walked away.
	Western the Rockies.
	You're on the air.
	Hello.
	Hi, Art.
	This is Troy in Oregon.
	Yes, Troy.
	K-W-R-O.
	Yes.
	They carry you, and it's just wonderful.
	Well, that's the way to do it.
	Give these affiliates credit.
	Well, boy, you bet.
	Listen, I have my granddaughter here staying up, who is 12.
	She's sleeping beside me.
	Her answer was she would like to see everybody's questions about the universe answered.
	That we would have universal knowledge, right?
	Yeah.
	But now, Art, I was wondering if you could do me a favor, a huge favor.
	Possibly.
	And talk to her.
	She saw UFO on her way to school.
	She has, she walks in the dark and she's so scared to death now.
	She's 12 years old and she's sleeping beside me tonight.
	And I wondered if she could just tell you a little bit about it or if you, you know, if you could just talk to her.
	You just said she's asleep.
	No, no, she's not.
	She's awake.
	She is?
	Yep, right here.
	I'll give her to you.
	Okay, give her to me.
	Hello?
	Hi, you are awake, aren't you?
	Yeah.
	And you saw a UFO?
	Yes.
	On the way to school?
	Yes.
	And what'd you do?
	Well, I was standing there and I was wondering, I was just like looking at the thing and I'm like, oh my God, I can't believe I'm saying this.
	But you did, so what'd you do?
	I just stood there and I had a flashlight with me because it was like 7.15 in the morning and I turned it off but then I looked down at myself to see if it could see me and I was wearing a white sweatshirt so I just stared at it and just looked at it and it just like made this humming sound and then like I guess it was like a half the size of a football field And it was... Really?
	That's big.
	Yeah.
	Uh, do you think that it did anything to you?
	No.
	I just... I've... Why?
	Ever since this has happened, I've had these dreams, and they've just, like, been, like, about, like, all these, like, aliens, I should say, but, like, coming to Earth and, like... Well, listen, I don't have a lot of time, because our hour is ending, but I'll tell you this.
	Uh, it may be that you would want to consult with somebody who does regressive hypnosis and find out what really happened to you.
	Because... Maybe your dreams are telling you that something did happen to you.
	You know, from your subconscious.
	This is Premiere Networks.
	That was Arthel hosting Coast to Coast AM.
	on this somewhere in time.
	I'm going to be doing a video on the news. I'm going to be doing a video on the news.
	I'm going to be doing a video on the news. I'm going to be doing a video on the news.
	Don't you give up baby, don't you cry Don't you give up tonight, reach the other side
	I'm going to be doing a video on the news.
	I'm Sorry I've had nothing but bad luck
	Since the day I saw the cat at my door So I came in to you sweet lady
	Answering your mystical call Crystal ball on the table
	Showing the future to the past Same cat with them evil eyes
	And I knew it was a spell she cast She's just a devil woman with evil on her mind
	Beware the devil woman, she's gonna get you She's just a devil woman with evil on her mind
	Beware the devil woman, she's gonna get you from behind Give me the ring on your finger
	Let me see the lines on your hair I can see me a tall dark stranger
	Giving you what you hadn't planned I drank the potion she offered me
	I found myself on the ground Bye.
	Now, we take you back to the past on Art Bell Somewhere in Time.
	And perhaps you would like to answer as you put yourself in position to try this question.
	Why a rib was removed from men for, you know, to create women.
	Why a rib?
	Why not an appendix?
	We don't use that anyway, right?
	Or maybe tonsils.
	They have to frequently be taken out because they're nothing but irritants.
	But no, we had to give up a rib.
	God knows what we might have been had we had that extra rib.
	But instead, anyway, we'll be right back.
	You're listening to Art Bell, somewhere in time.
	Tonight featuring Coast to Coast AM from January 11th, 2002.
	And then there's this fellow in Arkansas who apparently wanted beer and he wanted it bad.
	He wanted beer badly.
	He decided that he'd take the direct approach and throw a giant cinder block through a liquor store window.
	I mean, there it was.
	So he couldn't resist.
	I mean, he could see the beer.
	He's drooling.
	He's got nothing on his mind but beer.
	And so he takes a giant cinder block and tosses it through the window.
	Problem is, the cinder block instead impacted with plexiglass.
	And bounced back, naturally hitting him on the head, putting him in the hospital and of course in police custody.
	So, I guess he didn't go up to the window and do one of these things first, you know, he just heaved and that was it.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Yes, this is Jamal calling from Los Angeles.
	Listen to 640 KFI.
	How you doing, Art?
	I'm doing alright, sir.
	The mighty KFI in Los Angeles, yes.
	Great.
	It's very simple.
	I would have never let man create religion.
	Because it's the biggest thing that's separating everyone.
	It's the reason why people are killing each other.
	It really is.
	I mean, I have no argument with that.
	It is.
	I mean, basically, I put myself inside a man.
	You don't have to go outside of yourself to find me in religion.
	But I allow that to happen because there are those that don't have faith, and they're having problems more with them finding me.
	As a matter of curiosity, though, how would you as God prevent this, you know, the free will part?
	You would have to make a qualification to the free will provision.
	That's the thing that a lot of us don't understand.
	There is no free will.
	You can't have a predestined life and the will of choice.
	Both don't go together.
	So there really is no free will.
	In other words, everything is predestined, which means that it was God's design, is what you're saying.
	Exactly.
	We have problems getting understanding out of things.
	I mean, I say it in the book.
	I created man in our image.
	Let us create men in our image.
	That would be the plural.
	Now, he didn't admit plural.
	In fact, he objected to plural.
	Right.
	All right.
	All right, sir.
	Well, listen, I appreciate it.
	But I do still think you would have to make an exception to the free will part.
	Free will.
	Really the same thing.
	Free will.
	There'd have to be a big except no religion.
	So that rips away a big part of the free will thing.
	There is an overall point to this, asking this question and getting these answers, and I wonder if it's dawned on you yet.
	First time caller on the line, you're on the air.
	Hello.
	Hello.
	Yes, yes, yes, yes.
	Maurice from Honolulu, Hawaii.
	Yes, sir.
	This may sound frivolous, but if I were God, I'd chuck this world up as an experiment gone wrong.
	Well, I really don't know that I should ask you this, but I am eternally curious.
	So please try and frame your answer carefully.
	would be their plumbing. Oh. That would solve a lot of our problems. Well, um, I really don't know that I should ask
	Sure.
	you this, but I am eternally curious, so please try and frame your answer carefully. Sure. What would you do to the
	plumbing? Uh, maybe a change of sex, actually.
	Sex organs.
	So, in other words, the female would have the male sex organ?
	Yes.
	Most of them have problems.
	Now, let me think about that for a moment.
	A male... But, you see...
	It's not the only thing, but basically it is pretty much the only thing that marks the difference between us, so you wouldn't achieve much, would you?
	I mean, if you took all of that, which is sexually a woman, and made it a man, then you'd have a woman.
	The other way around as well.
	So you'd still have the same old problem, it's just that you'd have a switcheroo situation.
	Of course, in the modern world, some of that is occurring anyway, isn't it?
	West of the Rockies?
	No, make that the wild card line.
	You're on the air.
	Hello.
	Hello, this is Sarah from Lebanon, Virginia.
	Sarah, hi.
	Hi.
	You have a gigantic show!
	Thank you.
	I've got another word coming into my vocabulary lately.
	What would that be?
	Edger.
	Spell it.
	Such as a noun that I am an edger.
	I see your question.
	If I were God, what would I do different?
	Oh, you're an edger.
	Yes.
	An edger.
	That's pretty good.
	It's perhaps not quite gigantous, but good.
	Anyway, I see your question.
	If I were God, what would I do different?
	I would give mankind the infallible ability to follow instructions.
	Ha, ha, ha.
	Oh, what a world that would be.
	To follow instructions, whether given by superiors or well-meaning people, or just generally always able to follow instructions.
	Right.
	Well, I'm not sure that it could be imposed on Americans, which generally... I never follow instructions.
	Do you?
	Well, that is a deficiency.
	Maybe not intentionally.
	In other words, for example, when you buy something new and it requires some assembly, do you sit down and before you begin, before you put one piece to another piece, You know, like the monkey with the bone in 2001, right?
	Before you grab that bone, before you put one piece to another piece, do you actually, actually read the instructions?
	No, usually just kind of.
	You're bigger than me.
	Bigger, I know it already.
	Alright, well, alright, thank you.
	Yeah, me too.
	And instructions are only read as a last resort.
	And usually, you know, you've taken 10 steps you weren't supposed to take by then.
	So she would see to it that man would always follow instructions.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Hello.
	My name is Rhoda.
	I'm in New Caney, Texas, and I listen to your show on KTV.
	KTRH.
	KTRH, oh, what a blast of a radio station in Houston that is, yes.
	It is quite nice.
	You betcha.
	What I would do, if I were the Supreme Being, would be two or three different things.
	One of them, I would hardwire tolerance into everyone.
	Tolerance.
	You would have free will, but you would be tolerant.
	You could have wars, but you'd have to have a logical reason for them.
	You couldn't just go out and shoot somebody.
	In other words, things would have had to have truly eroded to an intolerable position.
	That is correct.
	Gotcha.
	The third thing is, I deal with the public on a daily basis.
	Yes.
	All physical orders, odors would be like flowers.
	Dealing with the general public on a daily basis is a life-challenging situation, isn't it?
	Yes, it is.
	I feel that I have done a good day's work.
	If everybody I've dealt with is still alive at the end of the day.
	And the thing is, you really have to do it with a smile, too, don't you?
	Yes, you do.
	You have to do it with a smile.
	You have to picture them being dropped in boiling oil and smile at the same time.
	You know, see, some people who called earlier said that what would make the world great would be if God had given everybody the ability to read everybody else's mind.
	No, reading your mind wouldn't work.
	And you're the example of that because really, you know, after somebody has really wronged
	you in the day, you know, you're smiling at them, but you're really thinking, you miserable
	bastard.
	And so it just wouldn't work.
	No, reading your mind wouldn't work.
	I think that what we need is the ability not to read each other's minds and to be able
	to smile and think you are a horrible person and still smile and say, have a nice day.
	That's right.
	All right.
	Thank you very much.
	She is so, so right.
	The reading of minds without severely changing and improving our sociological behavior truly would be a disaster.
	Without the necessary white lies told every day.
	Like the one she's just talking about.
	I mean, there are people you can deal with.
	You know right away, these people are trouble.
	These people are hateful people.
	These people don't like you.
	These people don't want to be doing what they're doing right now.
	They certainly don't want to be dealing with you.
	They think you're a schmuck.
	And they can act that way, and you've got to smile back, and at the end of it all, as she points out, say, have a nice day.
	Without the lie, without the ability to tell that white lie, the world would be a disaster.
	Some would point out, and it is.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Hello?
	Hello?
	Yeah.
	Hey, is this an open line?
	It is.
	All right.
	Let me turn this down.
	The hydrogen energy that we have, I don't think that's the way to go.
	I've run into a scientist 20 years ago, and he had a flywheel with magnets on it, and it had a drive shaft going to a smaller wheel with magnets, and you give this thing a spin, and it just flies.
	There was a retardant advance, I understand the theory, but I don't think there's anything that I understand about it that escapes the law that says that eventually it slows down anyway.
	The flywheel, the faster it goes, the more horsepower it has.
	Well, then it would fly apart.
	It wouldn't be able to go faster and faster.
	Well, that's why people like Area 51 keep it out of the hands of the public.
	Do you think that they've got a bunch of rotating stuff up there producing infinite power blowing itself up every now and then?
	Do you believe that?
	No, if you're a responsible person, you don't ramp it out to where it blows up.
	What you do is you just govern the thing.
	And it's really good for space travel as well.
	I think this is what free energy is.
	Anything else is bogus.
	See, while I understand what you're saying, I think the concept is bogus.
	And if you can explain to me how that actually works and defies the laws that suggest it will slow down ultimately, then I'm listening.
	How does it do that?
	Okay, uh, two magnets push together.
	Yeah, I know.
	You know, but we have good magnets nowadays.
	Uh-huh.
	Uh, that is considered an explosion.
	Now, uh, when you put those two wheels, one larger than the other, together with a, with a good drive shaft.
	Yep, yep, yep.
	And the piece.
	Yep, I got all that, but what is it?
	What is it?
	What?
	What does it do, actually?
	How is it escaping the law of physics that say that the motion that started Uh, is going to, uh, no matter how many pushes or explosions there are, uh, it's going to, uh, it's still going to slow down.
	No, it's not going to slow down.
	Uh, you have a retard in advance on the driveline.
	You push the magnets together, probably eight or 12.
	Probably the more you have, the faster and the more horsepower you can get out of it at a low RPM.
	You push these opposing magnets together.
	The centrifugal force of the larger one continues to propel the slower one around to push more explosions or electromagnetic repellents.
	And there you go.
	Well, I understand the theory, the theory.
	I just, you know, in the end, I don't, I don't.
	Bring me one that works.
	Bring me an example.
	Send me an example.
	I would love to see it work.
	Even as a toy.
	A little toy that will endlessly scurry around the floor with the big wheel and the little wheel inside.
	Just keep going around the floor.
	See, I just, I'm sorry.
	I do not believe it.
	I understand a little bit about magnetics and nobody understands everything.
	It sounds interesting, but if it really worked, it would be well underway by now.
	It just would not be at Area 51.
	There are plenty of people around that can fool with the All sorts of electromagnetic stuff outside Area 51.
	We'd know about it.
	What's to the Rockies?
	You're on the air.
	Hi, Art.
	This is Matt Coyne from Albury, California.
	Yes, sir.
	I gave you a Bermuda Triangle story a while back about a bear bomber.
	Have you ever done a Bermuda Triangle show?
	Turn your radio off, please.
	Okay.
	Let's see.
	Have I ever done... Well, I've certainly had a number of guests who've commented on the Bermuda Triangle, but I don't think we've ever done a...
	A show exclusive to it.
	Okay, I wanted to ask you, has anybody on your show ever raised the question of aircraft and air coup losses on UFO intercepts?
	No, it's an interesting question.
	I suppose if they wanted to cover up the fact that they had lost aircraft... They have acknowledged, one, that the Air Force does admit an F-89 From Kenroth AFB.
	That was on the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
	It's now closed.
	But this was 23 November 53.
	They were scrambled to intercept an unidentified radar target over the Sioux Locks.
	They were last seen on radar merging with the UFO blip until only the UFO blip remained.
	So, in other words, that jet aircraft may now be on a UFO or in a UFO on its way to heaven knows where.
	That is what, according to Kevin Randall, who, have you had him on your show?
	Yes.
	Okay.
	He mentions it in one of his books.
	He talks to officers, not just pilots, but navigators, GCI, ground controlled intercept people, intel officers, everybody.
	The majority of officers on the base Well... Yes.
	Yes.
	that is what happened only a minority felt
	that the aircraft had gone into the lake well intact and they found nothing the wreckage nobody
	no nothing and they did not
	normally in military aircraft crashes they tell the family members
	what the last words of the crew were before the incident they did not tell the presumed widow of the pilot nor the
	parents of the back you anything well uh...
	the let me extend your idea a little bit uh... assuming that other planes are
	lost in chases after uh... you oppose and that sort of thing happened
	If I, sir, were an Air Force public relations guy, I'd say something like an F-15 was lost today in a training exercise over such-and-such Air Force Base.
	That's what they said after one crashed in New York State in 1954.
	Well, I'll see there you are.
	There is something happening here.
	Maybe there are many planes up there.
	This is Premier Networks.
	That was Art Bell hosting Coast to Coast AM on this Somewhere in Time.
	I think it's time we stop.
	Children, watch that sound.
	Everybody look what's going down.
	There's battle lines being drawn.
	Nobody's right if everybody's wrong.
	Young people speak in their minds.
	are getting so much resistance from behind as we...
	We're getting so much resistance from behind as we...
	you Premier Networks presents Art Bell, Somewhere in Time.
	Tonight featuring Coast to Coast AM from January 11, 2002.
	This is interesting.
	Bruce, up in Toronto, Canada, expresses the following.
	If I was God, I'd kick my children out of the house and tell them to do something with their lives and quit trying to rely on the old man to bail them out of everything.
	I... I think Bruce may have some... issues.
	You're listening to Art Bell, somewhere in time.
	Tonight featuring Coast to Coast AM from January 11th, 2002.
	A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap.
	You know what those are, right?
	They measure your speed using radar and instead of having a real live cop there, they have a camera.
	And it takes a picture of your car and it prints the speed that you were doing right there on the film.
	It's like you're caught, you're dead meat, there's nothing you can do.
	Anyway, this fellow was caught in such a trap.
	He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car.
	So instead of paying, he sent the police department a photograph of $40.
	Several days later, he received a letter back from the police that contained a picture in it.
	It was a picture of handcuffs.
	He immediately filed a $40 fine.
	First time caller online, you're on the air.
	Hello.
	Hello.
	My name is Corrine.
	I live in Lower Westchester County in New York.
	Listen, W-A-B-C.
	Yes, W-A-B-C.
	Yes.
	If I were God, what I would do differently is exactly what God has done, but not too many people are aware of it.
	No, but you're breaking the spirit of the question.
	No, no.
	Just give me a minute.
	All right.
	Well, you're going to have to get there.
	All right.
	One of your callers said this evening, I would have people speak a universal language.
	Right.
	Remember the movie Contact?
	Yes.
	Jodie Foster said mathematics was the universal language.
	That's right.
	And she stressed the importance of prime numbers.
	Right.
	What I would do as God is what exactly God has done with a friend of mine, which is to prepare him from the 60s on the importance of numbers.
	And through the years he has revealed through the prime number table Thousands and thousands of confirmations of certain spiritual truths, and one of them is, I'll just give a few, is that most... You're not answering the question.
	Well, yes, I am.
	Well, I mean, you know, I suppose in a roundabout way you're saying everybody should be communicating with math, right?
	But this person has, and I want to give a website, has revealed... Oh, no, no, no, we just understand now that's another rule you break.
	We don't give websites.
	Besides, 37, 16, 5, and 1.
	And you damn well ought to know what that means.
	Wild Card Line, you're on the air.
	Good evening, Art.
	It's a pleasure to talk to you today.
	I'm George from Queens.
	Listening to you on WABC.
	On WABC again.
	Yes, sir.
	I'd like to talk about Seth Shostak and what brought that up in my mind in recent days.
	Is that you were talking about Sam Donaldson making a prediction on the on this week with Koki Roberts and Sam Donaldson.
	That's right.
	And he indicated that this might be a year for SETI to make contact.
	Correct again.
	Well, did you did you catch this syndicated show at the game show to tell the truth about two weeks ago?
	No, I didn't.
	Well, believe it or not, Seth was on.
	Seth Schultz?
	Yes.
	You're kidding.
	No, I'm not.
	And he was the person, he was the guest whose occupation you were to identify.
	That's a good one.
	Okay, now in the affidavit, you know normally they give a little affidavit according to what the occupation is.
	That's right.
	And he explained how about In Puerto Rico, the array of antennas and what they're doing to try to look for extraterrestrial life.
	Right.
	He explained the SETI project and what his job was to make contact with E.T.
	Yes.
	And at the end of the affidavit, if the affidavit was written by Seth, he says, I believe the way it was put was important.
	He says, I think that this will be the year that we make contact with E.T.
	Are you serious?
	That's what was put at the end of the affidavit.
	And you're pretty sure that that was, you think that was written by Seth?
	It sounds like it, doesn't it?
	Well, that's the way it was put in the affidavit.
	I can't vouch.
	It wasn't like, it wasn't maybe we'll find E.T.
	Oh, I hear you, I hear you.
	This does not sound like Seth.
	Right, it doesn't sound like Seth, that's why I bring it to you.
	Not the Seth I know and argue with all the time.
	Right, that's like, I don't even know if he would allow that type of affidavit to be presented to the audience.
	Well, alright, I'm going to have to get hold of Seth and ask him if it be true.
	Okay.
	I will do that, alright?
	Alright, I thought it would be of interest to you because of the way it was put.
	Oh, it is of high interest to me, believe me sir.
	If Seth Shostak predicted, oh my, talk about neck out a million miles, did you really do that, Seth?
	I know he's a listener.
	Did you really do that, Seth?
	It certainly is true that Sam Donaldson made the prediction.
	Now, what do you suppose might be known to these gentlemen that is not known to me, or probably to you?
	They're both very highly placed.
	Sam Donaldson at the top of his craft at ABC, no question about it.
	Oh, and by the way, we think we're lining Sam to come on the show now.
	All we have to do is talk Sam into staying up late enough.
	He wants to come on.
	He's got to stay up late enough.
	You can do it, Sam!
	Maybe a Friday night, Saturday morning.
	Have you on.
	Have questions for you about why you made that prediction.
	Now, as Seth Shostak has said that, oh my!
	One could almost imagine, among the Seth Shostaks and the Sam Donaldsons, that there is a field o' knowledge that we don't have.
	Of course, if there was, they would never, ever admit it.
	Right?
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Hello, Art.
	Hello, sir.
	Yeah, Jim from Alto, Texas.
	Uh-huh.
	W-O-A-I is who we're listening to in San Antonio.
	Z Monster at 1,200 on the dial.
	You bet.
	Right.
	Well, the God question.
	Yeah.
	The big one.
	The big one.
	I think if it was up to me, I'd take a big step backwards and go all the way back to the lowly earthworm for one thing and have one sex.
	You mean...
	You know, there was an interesting story that ran earlier today on CNN, which could indicate a rather important change, sea change, so to speak.
	They had a story, I swear to you this is true, that in an aquarium, there was just a shark born, which in of itself, you would say, well, so what?
	This was an aquarium that only has held girl sharks.
	Period.
	Never male sharks.
	And one of these girl sharks, CNN's word, just had a baby shark.
	Now, that's potentially devastating.
	Or not.
	Right?
	Self-fertilization.
	Exactly.
	Well, you look at the earthworm and they have both sexes in one body.
	You know how much that would calm down a household?
	Not to have him and her fighting over stuff.
	And to take it one step further, I think I'd make everybody the same color.
	And I have no idea what color, that could be green, blue, I don't care.
	My wife came in a little while ago and said polka dots.
	There you go.
	But then, you know, we'd find people with differently placed polka dots, and God help somebody who would be born with dashes, right?
	So, you know, I'm sure we'd get around to it if we still wanted to.
	But anyway, I appreciate your call.
	Okay, thanks, Art.
	Right, thank you.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Hello.
	Hey, Art, this is John up in Portland, listening to KEX.
	Yes, John.
	And if I were God, I think that I would It would be cool to look in the sky and see a flock of flying horses.
	You've got to admit.
	that would take care of the energy problem and might create a new industry for umbrellas.
	It would be cool to look in the sky and see a flock of flying horses. You've got to admit,
	I mean, have you ever seen the geese on their way, you know, in the big V formation?
	Imagine a big V formation of horses.
	You know, like Pegasus.
	Absolutely.
	That'd be great.
	It would.
	It would add a lot, visually, wouldn't it?
	And then, instead of the Ten Commandments, I'd have the Ten Guidelines.
	The Ten Guidelines?
	I'd take care of that.
	Thank you.
	The Ten Guidelines.
	Well, that's PC and really good stuff for 2002, right?
	The Ten Guidelines.
	The spirit of the guidelines could then be talked about.
	First time caller line, you're on the air, hello.
	Hello.
	Hello, yes.
	This is Greg, I'm on my way to Red Bluff, northern Sacramento.
	I can tell, you're on a cell phone.
	I'm sorry, it's the only thing I have.
	I understand.
	Okay, well.
	God bless him.
	I have two things, if you don't mind.
	First, I'd like to ask you, I've heard you in the past mention that you used to listen to a man named Long John Neville.
	Of course, years ago in New York, yes.
	Yeah.
	You know what, he wrote a book one time.
	Did you ever read it?
	I do not.
	I do not have his book.
	I've heard that he wrote one.
	No sir, I don't have it.
	I used to have a copy of it.
	It was real interesting.
	It was about a UFO flap that occurred in the 60s in Ohio.
	Yes, sir. Eastern Ohio and West Virginia and Kentucky.
	Uh, anyway.
	Uh-oh.
	See, this is my argument with cell phones.
	He's gone.
	Just gone.
	Poof.
	It was a disagreeable connection in the first place.
	I am going to say another word about this because I cannot stand it.
	I just can't stand it.
	There is no excuse for audio like that in the year 2002.
	There is no excuse.
	What in the hell is wrong with these cell phone manufacturers and cell phone companies anyway?
	Oh my God, ham radio rigs produce a cleaner signal, better audio.
	We have taken a step backward.
	I mean, you heard the same call I just heard, right?
	The one that cut off?
	What kind of step forward in technology is that?
	It's not.
	It's a step backward.
	Backward!
	We've moved in reverse!
	What the hell's wrong with you people?
	Can't you put together a technology that delivers some decent audio over a cell phone, for God's sakes?
	Well, for gosh sakes.
	It's really annoying.
	It's really annoying, and it is not an advance.
	It is... It is retarded science.
	And the industry needs to address it.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Yeah, good morning, Art.
	Good morning.
	This is Denison Phoenix.
	Yes, Denison.
	515 KFYI.
	Yes, sir.
	Thanks for bringing back Phaedra.
	I'd only heard that two or three times when it first came out.
	Yes.
	I quit playing it.
	I never learned who did it or whatever.
	Haunting, isn't it?
	It sure is.
	I have something I think you'll be interested in, a song.
	Um, there's a group, uh, it came out in 72.
	Yeah.
	The album is Renaissance.
	Yes.
	The Renaissance is the group that did it.
	The album is Prologue.
	And the song is the last song on it.
	It's 11 minutes.
	And the name is Raja Khan.
	Okay.
	And I think it has all the elements you like in music.
	I am willing to listen.
	All righty.
	That is how I build my library of music.
	And by the way, I want to thank everybody who sent in music lists.
	And one more time, one last time, I would like to solicit music lists.
	I am looking for the most comprehensive lists that I can find of music, say, between a 1950 Even into the 40s perhaps, but generally between about 1950 and now, or at least into the 90s.
	Now, in my aged opinion, music as it approaches and moves into the mid to late 80s and then into the 90s begins to deteriorate into something that doesn't, in most cases, resemble music.
	Now, there are notable exceptions to this, but Generally, it degenerates into almost white noise, which is sort of all noise.
	White noise is sort of everything.
	A cacophony of everything, which you cannot call a tune, you cannot tap your foot to it, you certainly can't sing to it.
	Anyway, I'm looking for some really comprehensive lists for certain reasons, so if you have one of those, please send it along to artbell.minespring.com.
	That's A-R-T.
	B-E-L-L at MindSpring.com.
	East of the Rockies, you are on the air.
	Hi, Eric.
	This is Tim from Hopkinsville, Kentucky.
	Yes, sir.
	I wanted to try to answer your question.
	All right.
	And the question now, I need to keep saying, if you were God,
	what would you do differently?
	Yep.
	What I'd do differently is, well, first off, I have to explain what the answer I'm going to give.
	I'd seen a political cartoon a long time ago, and it was three frames.
	The first frame showed the Garden of Eden with the animals and man.
	The second frame showed the globe itself, and the third frame showed a child's bedroom with the globe sitting on the shelf, and the words in the caption said, God, put up your toys.
	It's time to eat.
	What my answer would be is, what I would do different is, I wouldn't have put my toys up.
	You wouldn't put your toys up?
	No.
	I would stick with the project that I was doing.
	It almost seems like he put his toys up and he hasn't come back to them.
	Well, that's a good point.
	In fact, it may even be the truth.
	Thank you very much.
	In other words, you know, he just may not even be paying attention.
	I mean, we all presume, right?
	Yeah, this is Paige from Tri-Cities, Washington.
	to have something else. May have just sort of gotten things started down here and just
	left us for a while and hasn't paid attention, hasn't even thought about us since. Remember,
	one second for God is a million years for man. Could be that way, certainly. So in a
	second or two, he may look back and then, oh, look out.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air. Hi. Yeah, this is Paige from Tri-Cities,
	Washington.
	Hi, Paige. Paige, extinguish your radio.
	Okay, hold on.
	Very important, Page, and everybody else.
	The minute you get on the air, you've got to have that turned off, not down, but off, or it will confuse you.
	Wow, this is crazy.
	I'm actually on there.
	Yes.
	What I'd actually do is I'd swap humans with animals, put ourselves in their shoes.
	Oh.
	And animals would suddenly become obviously humans, right?
	They would have the guns.
	And they'd have the guns.
	They'd have the say-so on what goes on.
	They would push us off our land.
	If such a thing should occur, and you had your option, would you be a domestic pet or would you be a wild animal?
	Ooh, I'd probably be domestic.
	Would you?
	They seem to take better care of us.
	Dog or a cat?
	I'd be a dog.
	You'd be a dog?
	Yes.
	Sort of one of those happy-go-lucky little sucking up Licking dogs.
	Lazy dog.
	A lazy dog.
	All right, sir, thank you.
	That'd be a good subject for a movie, wouldn't it?
	Maybe I've just given somebody in Hollywood an idea.
	They don't get ideas mostly on their own.
	But they've done every other type of thing like that, so how about that?
	The animal kingdom switched with the human kingdom.
	First time caller on the line, you're on the air.
	Hello.
	Yes, sir.
	Yes.
	Where are you?
	I'm in the Chicago area.
	Okay.
	Listening to WLS AM radio.
	Of course.
	Yes.
	And the one thing I would do, I wouldn't change anything, but I would add one thing.
	In each incarnation, we would have total recall of each previous incarnation.
	Huh.
	And all the pride or the guilt that would go with it?
	Well, they had an open knowledge.
	It's a good point.
	Mankind, I agree with you.
	If reincarnation is real, this is really interesting to think about.
	If reincarnation is real, then why not allow each reincarnation to have full memory of the last?
	The advancement of mankind would be so much, so much faster!
	And besides, you'd have responsible souls out there.
	I'm Art Bell.
	This is Coast to Coast AM.
	You're listening to Art Bell, Somewhere in Time.
	Tonight featuring Coast to Coast AM from January 11, 2002.
	Welcome to the Coast to Coast America.
	you What will you do when you're lonely?
	No one waiting by your side.
	You've been rushed, I've been rushed, you know.
	You know it's just your foolishness.
	Well, I... Got me on my knees there.
	Begging, darling, pleading there.
	Darling, won't you ease my way now?
	Oh, yeah I tried to give you consolation
	The old man let you down Like a fool I fell in love with you
	You turned my whole world upside down Hey, love
	Got me on a beat, hey, love You're listening to Art Bell, somewhere in time.
	Tonight, featuring Coast to Coast AM, from January 11, 2002.
	Oh, and it is a Friday night, Saturday morning, with a gigundous question on the table, and that is, if you were God, What would you do differently?
	Otherwise open lines all night long Somewhere in time with art bell continues courtesy of
	premier networks Once again into the night
	On the wildcard line, you are on the air.
	Hello.
	Hi, Art.
	How you doing?
	I'm okay, sir.
	How are you?
	Oh, I'm fine.
	Thank you.
	Where are you?
	This is the first time I've been able to talk to you in, like, eight, ten years.
	Wow.
	Where are you?
	I am in Motley, Minnesota.
	Okay.
	And if I can give a plug for the CC Radio, it's the best thing I ever bought.
	Oh, I know.
	Everybody says that.
	I mean, it's awesome.
	It's totally awesome.
	See, where I'm at, I can't pick up anything.
	Uh, local, so I pick you up out of Chicago or Louisville, Kentucky, or I pick you up out of Omaha.
	Sometimes I can get you out of Minneapolis, but most of the time I'm picking you up out of Chicago or Louisville.
	Well, you say you're in Motley, Minnesota?
	Yes, it's about 20 miles west of Brainerd, where they have the International Speedway.
	Do you have a radio station in Motley?
	Uh, no.
	There's only about 400 people here.
	Well, that does limit your options a little bit.
	So, yes, you must listen long distance.
	And if you have the CC radio, what I would do is, it's got those really cool presets on the front, and I would just set it up for each station that I can hear.
	And when one takes a fade, boom, you're on the next one.
	That's exactly what I've been doing for three years.
	Smart man.
	If I were God, I don't know, That'd be a big leap.
	Well, yeah, but sure, but that's what the question is allowing you to do, take a big leap and do something a little different.
	I think what I'd do is change, give everybody the ability to really look at their perspectives, you know, because there's a different way of looking at things all the time.
	Sure.
	I think that I would also have them be a little bit more acceptable of things around them, and I'd probably give them the secret of happiness, at least what I believe it is.
	And that's to learn how to be content with your dissatisfaction.
	Well, that's a compromise, right?
	That's true.
	Learning how to be content with your dissatisfaction.
	I'm going to have to consider that.
	Now, isn't that sort of a resignation that there is no satisfaction?
	Can't get no satisfaction.
	Well, being human beings, we're imperfect.
	There would never be any satisfaction to be imperfect.
	That's just an illusion.
	Well, I know, but you always strive, and if you accept your state of dissatisfaction, you have resigned yourself to the fact that you are going to be in this condition always.
	Well, I don't know if it's necessarily an acceptance of it, but more of a resignation.
	To learn how to be content is not necessarily to be resigned.
	Well, yes, but if the source of your contentment is the knowingly unchangeable dissatisfaction, that is the way you framed it.
	I guess that's true.
	All right, well, thank you very much.
	Take care.
	It was like giving up.
	Life stinks, but hey, I'm happy.
	I think that's what he said.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Hi, Art.
	How are you doing?
	I'm doing okay, sir.
	How are you?
	I have some music for you.
	The series is called Lifescapes and it's called the Scottish Moors by Jeff Victor and the company is Compass Productions and they have his little notation down here is Jeff Victor weaves haunting tapestry of this musical land or mystical land using harp, bagpipe, violin, piano, guitar and the whispers of the moors.
	The Ghost of the Piper.
	Well, you know, I would have to hear it.
	I mean, you can describe music till the cows come home, but you've got to hear it.
	Well, I think it would be something that you would be interested in.
	It has all the hauntings of the wars.
	I might, but I might.
	You never know.
	Yeah, and I'd like to thank you for your show.
	It's kept me going.
	I do crown and bridge work.
	I own a crown and bridge dental laboratory.
	And there are many, many crowns with a little art bell twist on them.
	What does that mean?
	They've got a little art bell flare in the anatomy.
	Are you serious?
	Yeah, I weave little A's and B's into the anatomy.
	It's possible to do.
	Oh, I'm sure it is, but oh man, I'm not so sure that's... That's a good thing?
	That it's moral.
	I mean, so there are people walking around with my initials in their... In their anatomy, in their crown and bridge, yeah.
	How many of these things do you... Oh, I've done thousands, and I've been listening to you since, oh, I don't know, mid-90s.
	I might be the mark of the beast.
	I don't think so.
	Do you realize how much human misery you're responsible for?
	I mean, in order to get a crown or a bridge...
	Generally, the requirements are, teeth get shaved, which is horrible, horrible.
	Oh yeah, and sometimes... And then root canals, down in there, first you've got to have the root canal, and then they shave the tooth and... Well, I like how they try and talk to you when you can't say anything.
	when your face is sliding off your skull.
	But yeah, there's just thousands and thousands of people that can't stand.
	Now listen, I'm curious.
	Could a person, if they were really careful, take a mirror or something?
	And would it be on the outside or would it be on the inside?
	In other words, could they check and see if they've been so marked?
	Oh, it would be on the occlusal surface.
	If they could see through a mirror... Speak English!
	It would be on the surface that faces upward or downward.
	It depends on if it's your uppers or lowers.
	That's the best yet.
	All right.
	I appreciate it, sir.
	All right.
	Thanks, Art.
	Take care.
	Oh, my God.
	So my mark is in your mouth.
	Thousands of your mouths.
	My mark is in thousands of your mouths.
	Every time you chomp down on a quarter pounder...
	or crack a carrot...
	you're doing it with my initials.
	Pffft.
	That's immortality of a sort.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Hello.
	Hey, Art.
	This is Alan in Rupert, Maine, California at 580 KMJ.
	Yes, sir.
	Hey, if I was God, I'd do away with blind faith.
	With blind faith?
	Yeah.
	Why would God need a big ego where everybody has to worship Him and always wonder if He's really there to answer the prayers?
	You know, He could be on your show answering questions, pop into Letterman.
	Well, ask this of yourself.
	Would God be more interested in those who have blind faith, as you pointed out, or those who constantly question?
	Where do you think His attention would be?
	Well, I think it'd do away with a lot of problems.
	Everybody would know he was there.
	No, but what I'm saying is, wouldn't God, by nature, pay more attention to those who didn't have blind faith?
	Because, you know, the blind faith ones, you don't need to pay attention to them.
	They're already part of the flock.
	That's true.
	I just think how much fun he could have popping into card games, you know?
	Driving down the crew, all of a sudden he's sitting there next to you, changing your radio dial.
	I just think that blind faith causes a lot of problems, you know?
	You know, God's a big boy.
	He doesn't have to have everybody feed his ego.
	He could just be everywhere all the time, you know, answering everybody's questions personally.
	It's a good point.
	When you get a chance, check your teeth, sir.
	I will do.
	All right.
	First-time caller line, you're on the air.
	Hello.
	Hello, Art.
	Hi.
	Mike in Columbus, Ohio, listening to you on 610 WTVN.
	Yes, sir.
	To answer your first-time caller, and More than... I don't know what the word is.
	I listen to you all the time, drive truck, listen to you all night long.
	Anyway, to answer your question.
	Yes.
	I think that, okay, one caller told us earlier, what is it called when you can self-inseminate?
	All species can... Are you on a cell phone?
	Uh, well, actually, I was trying the, uh, the, uh, uh, first, uh, I was trying the wildcard line on the cell phone and trying the 1-800 number at home.
	I was trying it on both phones.
	You're on a cell phone, though, right?
	Yeah, I got you on the wildcard line.
	Yeah.
	I hate cell phones.
	Only because of the way they sound.
	Oh, I hate them myself.
	Okay, um, what is it called, though?
	Yeah, okay, well, it's called many things.
	Uh, like an earthworm.
	In other words, when you're asexual and you can seem to reproduce anyway.
	That would eliminate a lot of problems in the world and in relationships with humans.
	It would, but the world would not be as interesting a place.
	The world would be a much more boring place.
	Now, I suggest that we all watch this story on CNN very, very carefully.
	This could be the beginning of a trend.
	What if, as part of human evolution... Now, again, I will remind you, for those of you who have not heard, maybe you can still catch either the story.
	Keith, if you're listening, see if you can find the story.
	CNN, on their crawl on the bottom, was doing a story about a tank filled only with girl sharks.
	Now, that was their word.
	CNN said, girl sharks.
	Apparently, a shark has been born, and I think they threw up... I forget what the title of the whole story was, but... Miraculous Conception or something or another, but there were only girl sharks in the tank.
	I mean, they're absolutely certain of that, and one of these girl sharks just had a baby shark!
	Now, as we're watching for evolutionary changes, This could be an important story.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Hello?
	Hello, turn your radio off, please.
	Okay, sorry.
	I don't actually believe in God, but if I were God, I would make one change to humanity, and I'd make it so everyone was telepathic, but to the sense that they could feel each other's feelings.
	So if anyone did wrong to another person, they would also have to suffer through their traumatic problems.
	Well, somebody else suggested the same thing, telepathy, but there's a big, big, big problem with that.
	And that is that we don't always tell people really what we think of them.
	And we don't always think well of them at all.
	And so if there were total telepathy out there, there would be so many fights.
	Yeah, I guess so.
	It would also serve to people to make sure that they don't do wrong to others, I would believe.
	No, you see, I think actually it would be even worse than the situation we have now, where we generally kill each other in various gods' names.
	It would be worse.
	I mean, there would be killings about what people thought.
	I know a lot of people, actually, that would kill me or probably would want to if they knew what I thought about them.
	Right?
	And you've got to admit, for many of you, the very same thing is true.
	And so if there were total telepathy, it would be a disaster.
	First time caller line, you're on the air.
	Hello.
	This is talk 100.
	Is it what?
	1100.
	1100?
	Yes, this is WTAM.
	In a way, it is WTAM, yes.
	I just wanted to call and throw in my two cents about your question about what would I do if I was God?
	That's right.
	Well, my opinion, first of all, I wouldn't want to be God because... Wait a minute.
	Hold on.
	That's not the question.
	Not the question.
	In order to participate in the question, you have to sort of be God to a degree here because you're going to tell us what you would do differently.
	Well, the reason I really wanted to call, I wanted to ask you a question.
	Sure.
	You be God, right?
	And if you make a human being out of his image, what really puzzles me is that, you know, I see the way we make our youth and the way we make our children.
	Yes.
	How come God made us where the same, you know, as the penis, right?
	The same organism that we use to reproduce.
	How come it's the same thing that we basically use to deposit our waste?
	If you were God, what would you use that same... Well, now, of course, I'm not God.
	I'm just, you know, a talk show host.
	But, you see, even though it may have dual functions, they are not simultaneous functions, and so they're entirely different, is the answer to your question.
	And in one mode, it's one thing, and when you're in another mode, you're definitely all together in another thing, and the two do not coexist in the same time frame.
	So, God actually planned it rather well, when you think about it, as opposed to the alternative.
	It actually works out just fine.
	And so, he seems to have done a grand job in that category.
	And by whatever age you're at, you should know that.
	Wild Card Line, you're on the air.
	Hello.
	Oh yes, good day to you, Art.
	And to you, sir.
	This is Keith from Hamilton, Ontario.
	Yes, sir.
	I'd soak in, if I was God, I'd soak in what's been going on, the progression of life, and notice there's no more, or there's more bad in the world than there is good, so I'd call out Satan and have a good old-fashioned back-alley fistfight.
	You mean you'd start the world into a giant fist fight?
	Nope, I'd just call out Satan.
	Call out Satan?
	Oh, I see.
	So you'd have a battle, a real knockdown.
	Let's finally get this over with.
	Winner takes all kind of battle.
	Exactly it.
	Well, the only hitch that I could possibly see in this is how could you be sure You know, how it would come out.
	I mean, what if... What if he won?
	Well, yeah.
	What if God, you know, at the end of the 12th or 13th round, God was lying there, you know, sort of woozy and not able to get up and took the 10 count?
	It's like that South Park episode then, right?
	Have you seen that?
	I have, yeah.
	God fought Satan, yeah.
	Yeah, in fact, that flashed in my mind when you asked the question.
	But I mean, really, think about it.
	You would be...
	Sort of risking a lot there.
	The way I look at it, though, he's won for, you know, let's simply say several hundred years.
	I think it'd be my time to win.
	You may have noticed I have a South Park t-shirt on tonight.
	No, I do.
	Oh, really?
	I do, yeah.
	If you check my webcam, you'll see.
	Okay, take care.
	You know, in fact, I should even see what it looks like.
	My wife and I tried to do something during the last break that did not work out.
	We have four cats, as you know, or may not know.
	We have four, we own four cats.
	And we tried to each hold two cats, putting all four, squeezing all four close enough together to get them in the camera view.
	And I've got a wild cat, and we've got a new, totally crackers cat, you know, Yeti, and then the other two, and all together, let's see, that'd probably be about, I'm guessing around 50 pounds of cats all together, and we tried it, we, we, but we just couldn't sit there long enough with four cats.
	Didn't work.
	It almost didn't work violently, in fact.
	The trip back in time continues, with Art Bell hosting Coast to Coast AM.
	More Somewhere in Time, coming up.
	Moody river, your muddy water, took my baby's life.
	Last Saturday evening, came to the old oak tree, It stands beside the river where you were to meet me.
	Mama said there'll be days like this when I'll be gone.
	Mama said there'll be days like this when I'll be gone.
	There'll be days like this, Mama said.
	Mama said, Mama said.
	Mama said there'll be days like this.
	There'll be days like this, my Mama said.
	Mama said, Mama said.
	I went walking the other day and everything was going fine.
	I met a little boy named Billy Joe and then almost lost my mind.
	Mama said there'll be days like this, there'll be days like this, my mama said.
	Mama said there'll be days like this, there'll be days like this, my mama said.
	My eyes were wide open, but all that I could see is, Chapel bells are calling, for everyone around me, but I don't
	worry, cause Mama said there'll be days like this, there'll be days like
	this, my mama said.
	It's a Friday night, Saturday morning.
	Anything goes kind of night.
	Now, we take you back to the past on Art Bell Somewhere in Time.
	It's a Friday night, Saturday morning, anything goes, kinda night, open lines all the way
	and we'll get right back to it.
	You're listening to Art Bell Somewhere in Time.
	Tonight featuring Coast to Coast AM from January 11, 2002.
	I'm still wondering about the guy who makes all the crowns and bridges.
	He said he's made thousands of them.
	He said thousands of them with my initials in them.
	Which means thousands of you out there are walking around with my mark.
	Won't you a mouth?
	Whoa.
	That's really something to think about.
	And you know, you sort of tell by the tone of his voice that he probably is serious.
	But do you know what they'd do to him if they ever got him?
	Good thing he didn't really identify himself, huh?
	Just a little tiny mark.
	That's really weird to think about.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Hello.
	Yes, sir.
	Yes, your show is fabulous.
	What would I do if I was God?
	What would I do if I was God?
	What would you do differently?
	First thing I would do is I would make it really unpopular to be a leader.
	I would make it extremely unpopular to be a person that leads other people.
	But we must have leaders.
	We must have leaders, but the first thing I would do is I'd make the current form of leadership super unpopular by explaining in full detail the principles of plunder and double standards, whether enacted into law or practiced illegally.
	And I would immediately send any leader that's usable.
	But without plunder and double standards, we wouldn't have leaders.
	Precisely.
	And what I would do is I'd take them, I'd send them straight to hell.
	I see.
	And I'd let everybody else see where they are.
	And I'd repeatedly play that.
	And anybody who decided to lead by plunder and double standard would have the immediate threat of hell.
	Well, maybe all you'd have to do is make an audio tape available that would remind people of what it sounds like down there.
	One taken in the former Soviet Union in the deepest hole ever drilled.
	Maybe you'd do something like that.
	First time caller line, you're on the air.
	Hello.
	Yeah, good morning, Art.
	Good morning to you.
	This is God calling from the Trinity Mounds in Northern California, listening to you on 780.
	Not sure what station it is.
	Well, I can help you out there.
	It's coming from Reno.
	KOH in Reno, Nevada.
	Great.
	Good signal.
	Yes, it is.
	What I would do is go back to Genesis, and I'd just have Adam and Eve eat the snake.
	Huh!
	Interesting thought.
	And what do you think, if that had happened, what would the world be like now?
	Be blissed.
	It would.
	Apples everywhere.
	Uneaten.
	And snake would be a delicacy, I'm sure.
	Well, snake would be a delicacy.
	Just eat the snake.
	Yeah, I mean, you get the first taste, you know, and it's with you forever.
	Take care.
	That's interesting.
	Wild Card Line, you're on the air.
	Hello.
	Good morning, Art.
	Good morning.
	You're calling from San Diego.
	Yes, sir.
	Not sure of the station, but I had to think about this one.
	This is a good one.
	That would be KOGO 600 on the dial.
	That's it.
	This one puzzled me, but I did come up with something I think that could have been provided that would give mankind a greater understanding of a whole lot.
	Yes, sir.
	And that would be a timeline.
	Give us a timeline of geological events.
	of animal and plant life development.
	You mean like when earthquakes are going to occur?
	No, this would be our timeline for our past.
	Of course, we're looking at the Bible being presented to mankind, what, 3,000 years ago.
	The history of the world up to that point.
	All of the questions that science has of nature and plant life and animal life Could have been laid out for us.
	I'm not sure I get it.
	Uh, let's see.
	How would I describe it, maybe?
	Give us a sequence of events.
	In Genesis, he gave us a timeline of who begat who.
	Yeah.
	Oh, that's true.
	Well, how about a timeline of what the Earth was doing?
	When did the dinosaurs happen?
	What happened to Cro-Magnon Man?
	When did plant life, you know... As a matter of curiosity, where would this timeline end?
	When the Bible was written.
	Well, I know, but it would be predictive in nature, or would it only have covered the things to that time?
	Only a history, yes.
	Only a history so that we would have the answers scientists are always looking for.
	That's really fascinating, and there may be such a document, actually.
	Again, whether it be beneath the Sphinx or some other location, there may be a written history of mankind yet to be found.
	In fact, I'm almost certain of it.
	One day it will be.
	I wonder if it will be believed in this modern day and age.
	Not much is.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Hey Art!
	Hell yes!
	Hey, I didn't know.
	I didn't hear anything.
	Click in.
	Well, we have modern equipment.
	Yeah, this is Tony out of Jacks Creek, Tennessee.
	Yes.
	WNWS 101.5 out of Jackson, Tennessee.
	That's the way you do it.
	Thank you.
	I want to tell you before I tell you about what I'd do if I was God, the power of radio.
	I talked to you back about a year and a half ago and told you about Olivia Newton-John's UFO Experience that she had in Australia?
	I recall, yes.
	Yeah, and you know, the next morning, which my sister-in-law, my oldest sister-in-law, she's in Applegate up on near Truckee, California.
	Right.
	And she called me the next morning, and I hadn't talked to her in about five years, and she told me she heard my voice on your station.
	Is that amazing?
	Well, it is and it isn't.
	There are millions and millions of people listening, so the odds of that sort of thing happening, I guess, are pretty good, actually.
	Yeah, she called and she said, I know that voice.
	It is you.
	It is amazing, yes.
	Yeah.
	Now, if I was God, what I would do differently, I would be holding every month a judgment day.
	And that judgment day would be posted.
	I think you went to heaven or went to hell.
	You probably have a military background, don't you?
	No, I really don't.
	You don't?
	No, sir, I don't.
	That sounds like a military thing.
	There'll be judgment every month and it's going to be posted.
	It's going to be postive.
	There's going to be demerits and much worse.
	You sure know which way your buddy went.
	Up or down.
	That would keep everybody pretty much on the straight and narrow.
	There you go.
	All right, sir.
	We'll get them going in the right way.
	Well, thank you.
	Sure.
	a judgment day every month sometimes comments occur to one in discussions like this
	that uh... are best kept to oneself
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Hello.
	Hi, Art Bell.
	It's Deb Deb from Oakland, KSFO land.
	Your name isn't really Deb Deb, is it?
	Actually, it is.
	A guy by the name of Tom called me that when I was about 10.
	And it stuck.
	And I'm in my 40s now.
	I see.
	Anyway, yes, if I were God, there are a couple of items that I have on my notes.
	I just lost my baby cat, my 18 year old cat, on November 2nd and I just haven't been the same since.
	First of all, I'd bring her back to life in a young body.
	And that's just selfishly speaking.
	Well, I will give you one little grain of wisdom here.
	And that is that I think that happens.
	And I think that when you lose a cat, I'm addressing only cat people here now, another cat will come to you.
	Well, actually, it already did.
	I brought another cat home that was doomed from the animal control.
	And I swear to God, she even acts like the way Baloo used to act, and it's kind of mind-boggling, but that just teaches you that there are really no accidents.
	You definitely meet the people and animals that you're supposed to.
	The next item, as far as God goes, although, gosh, sometimes I dream about Baloo, and I think it's real because she'll let me touch her and everything in the dreams.
	What are you going to do?
	So anyway, the other thing about God is, I'd go ahead Go straight into whichever dimension it is, 7th or 8th or 9th, some of the more new age, more educated people might know this, but get rid of all the veils, get rid of the death, have it be that when somebody got tired of their old, you know, crunky old body, that they would just go ahead and say, okay, I'm gone, buh-bye, be like the, you know, the shamanic
	Leaders that would just walk off onto the prairie and die for the younger Indian people, you know?
	Well, I mean, you could do that if you wanted to.
	Well, if they wanted to go, it's like, oh God, I hate the way my legs are, or I hate the way my back hurts, or... Well, you know, if you did physically age, which I think I'd still let people physically age and learn stuff.
	I mean, that's the whole point of this anyway, but... Are you suggesting, you know, I have a bad back, of course, that it's time for me to take the long walk?
	Well, it might be the sort of thing where if See, I wouldn't get rid of the technology that would allow for the titanium hip or the new backbone or somehow we'll have the technology to learn all about the central nervous system.
	I think chiropractic kind of, you know, is just scratching the surface on that.
	And then certain acupuncture sciences would be like totally known by all.
	Time to take the shamanic walk.
	Well, you know, I'm sure that when you get older, I mean, especially in this culture, that might not be the thing you want to do.
	You might want to be clinging, you know.
	I've seen a lot of older people and younger people go.
	And I know they always kind of go, oh, give me that last five minutes, no matter how much pain they're in.
	That's generally true, yes.
	Thank you very much.
	I thought it was a specific comment about my back.
	Hmm.
	Off I go into the desert.
	That'd be my choice.
	First time caller line, you're on the air.
	Hello, good morning, Art.
	Good morning, sir, on a cell phone.
	Speak quickly.
	Yes, I was wanting to know about your buddy that killed the two Bigfoots, if you'd heard anything about that.
	You refer to a man named Bugs, and the answer is no.
	No, no, Bugs' wife said no.
	There is a standing offer to Bugs.
	Uh, when he works it out with his wife, or when circumstances change.
	God forbid Mrs. Buggs should leave the world.
	You know, or whatever might change.
	There's a standing offer for him to come forward.
	So, until something happens, something different, then no.
	Uh, wildcard line, you're on the air.
	Hello.
	Hello, Mr. Bell.
	Hello, sir.
	Yes, sir.
	A couple things, if I may.
	I think you should bring back the trumpets.
	Old Gabe, to open the show like you used to.
	That would be cool.
	I should bring back what?
	Old Gabe, the trumpets.
	Oh, I use those.
	I never open the show with them, sir.
	I use them when it's appropriate.
	When I get a sort of overwhelming wash of Armageddon.
	I understand, okay.
	If I were God?
	Yes.
	I would bring back a replica, a brazen replica of me in all four corners.
	Really?
	Yes, there would be a... The kind of thing... In my image, of course.
	That'd be like the kind of thing the Taliban blew up.
	I'm still thinking about that.
	The Taliban, and I've really been thinking about this for a long time, since it occurred, and I said it here on the air when it occurred.
	Do you remember?
	When the Taliban blew up the Buddhists, I mean, just took explosives out there, this was their heyday, and blew up the Buddhists, I knew there was going to be big trouble for the Taliban.
	That there would be big, serious karma as a result of that.
	And I'm not saying that there has been, but frankly, there has been.
	So you can put it down to coincidence or whatever you want.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Hi, Art.
	Hello.
	This is Bob in Wichita, listening on KFH.
	Yes, sir.
	If I were God, there's several things I would do, but the first and most important thing would be to unlock the other 90% of the human brain so that man could utilize his potential, full potential.
	Well, and another question might be, Why are we here now only using roughly 10%?
	In other words, why is it locked in the first place?
	Well, I'm not really God, so I couldn't answer that.
	But I would do that, and then I would give everybody total empathy so that they could relate to other people, animals, and nature.
	And I would give them total integrity and let them go from there.
	Maybe the human mind is just like a Microsoft program, and until you get the right key to put in, you can only sort of use a few of the features.
	Yeah.
	And so human beings need the right key, and when they get the right key and get it in there, then we can use it all.
	Yeah.
	I think if we had that ability, we'd be just maybe a little bit too insightful to go around killing each other.
	Either that, or we'd blow ourselves up totally.
	Now, going back to a question I asked a moment ago about why we don't use it all, that might be the reason.
	It might be that if we did use it all, we would invent such incredible ways to end the world that it would be absolutely inevitable.
	And only our relative stupidity at 10% has kept us alive this long.
	I mean, you can look at things a lot of ways, right?
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Hi, Art.
	I can't believe I got through to you.
	A lot of people say that.
	I know.
	I'm a long-time listener, first-time caller.
	And where are you?
	I am in Coos County, Oregon.
	I'm on KWRO.
	Oh, indeed.
	That's on the coast, right?
	Yeah, I'm actually in the same little town that Harden Optical is in.
	And I always get a kick out of it when you play their advertisements.
	Oh, they're a great company.
	Yeah, they are.
	And the Oregon coast is a great place.
	I had a thought that kind of fell into a little bit what the last caller was just saying about I'm getting nervous, I'm sorry.
	Without being able to read other people's minds, what if we, from a fairly young age, felt pain that we inflicted on other people to the same severity?
	Without knowing, you know, if they were happy or sad or they thought, gosh, I hate that shirt she has on today, but actual pain has felt.
	It would indeed be a very different world.
	We wouldn't have the mindless sort of blank staring youth that does some pretty inexplicable things that we have today.
	Right, and don't you think it would be kind of like Pavlov's dog or whatever were our learned behaviors as we were growing up?
	Absolutely.
	We would avoid circumstances where we would feel pain and therefore we wouldn't be inflicting it on, you know, we wouldn't want to inflict it on someone else because we would feel it just as severely physical or emotional.
	I must say that's pretty good.
	That's pretty dog-eyed, but I'm honored.
	I don't even see an immediate catch in that.
	If we had empathy and felt what others felt when we hurt them.
	Without knowing what their thoughts were or being able to read their minds, just feeling the painful emotional or physical for being the crap, if I can say crap on the radio.
	We would feel it.
	It would be a good place to start, I think.
	I really don't see any holes in that idea.
	That's pretty good stuff.
	Well, I'm honored.
	Too bad you're not in the position.
	Yeah, I'm not even close.
	I appreciate it.
	Thank you.
	So far, that's the best one I've heard, in a way.
	There would not be telepathy, as others have suggested, because as I have carefully explained, that would be a total disaster.
	Total!
	But instead, we would just get a general sense back of the feeling, the impression of the hurt that we are imposing, would be reflected on us, and we would feel it.
	We would definitely feel it.
	And that, just like, as she points out, Pamela's dog, we would... That's pretty good.
	That's really pretty good.
	Comes right here at the end of the program, too.
	But in general, this last one aside, because that was really good, the rest of the responses really prove that that's why we're not God, and He is.
	It was sort of just a fun point to make.
	So we've done them both now.
	Devil had his week.
	God's had his week.
	Just to keep it all even.
	Well, listen here, y'all.
	That's it.
	From the high desert, I'm Art Bell.
	Ta-ta.
	Out on the street I was talking to a man He said it's all my fault, it's not for mine That I don't understand You shouldn't worry, I said that ain't no crime Cause if you get it wrong, you'll get it right next time

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