Art Bell welcomes George Carlin, who mocks Y2K as a potential societal collapse catalyst, tracing the Gregorian calendar’s flaw to Dionysius Exiguus in 525. Carlin dismisses religion as superstition, citing historical atrocities like Hiroshima and Tuskegee, while Bell highlights inconsistent censorship—Carlin’s "dirty words" banned by the Supreme Court in 1978 despite Newsweek printing them. A caller claims Area 51’s humanoids stole a purple crystal, sparking threats; Carlin’s cynicism contrasts with Bell’s skepticism of conspiracy theories like the "New World Order." The episode ends with eerie callers debating apocalyptic songs, underscoring paranoia’s grip on late-night radio. [Automatically generated summary]
He'll be wrapping up a performance at the Bally's in Las Vegas.
And he's going to come on the radio and talk to us, and it's gotten me a little scared.
The president has said, Y2K is going to amount to Hill Beans, and he says, our savings and safety.
Which comes first, by the way?
Our savings or our safety?
Are okay, and it's going to be a bunch-nothing, basically.
Well, I don't know.
At the same time, the president's own Y2K committee said that 150% of the 911 systems are not compliant.
So I thought, doesn't that have something to do with safety?
Teresa writes, Dear Art Bell, I do not take comfort in the statements made by impeached President Clinton until she doesn't like him, right?
She says there were not enough congressmen to define public safety.
However, he used key words, even answered one question with absolutely not, with the same intonations and hesitations used early in the questions about Monica.
So, not to get political on you, but this man couldn't tell the truth to God himself, I take his absolute not problem statement to mean he knows that all hell is going to break loose.
Unless, of course, you still believe he did not inhale.
That's Teresa.
So, I don't know, Teresa, I probably agree to a great extent with you.
And here's another little worrisome headline for you, just breaking today on CNN.
The United States Army, our army, you know, the one that protects us, right, has now rated two of its ten divisions as unprepared for a major war.
This is serious.
Two of our ten divisions are unprepared for a major war.
Well, that's the only reason we've got them is in case we have a major war.
And what do they attribute that to?
Well, peacekeeping.
We've got so many troops in Bosnia and elsewhere now that we don't have enough troops to fight a major war if it comes along.
That's a very serious headline when you think about it.
Very serious.
We don't have enough to handle a major war.
It's a very non-trivial thing, and people are not paying attention to it because, you know, you never know when there's going to be a major war.
Are you in Canada?
Well, if so, listen very closely.
Important information follows.
You can breathe a huge sigh of relief up there.
The J. Michael Stevens Group now can ship food into Canada.
A couple of thousand of you in Canada have put names on a waiting list trying to find out if you could get food.
You will shortly receive instructions for completing your order so you can do it.
Everybody else in Canada who has not yet ordered should call 1-800-377-0700 immediately here in the U.S. Anybody unsure and waiting to call, I would say you had better act now.
They expect the Canadian orders that I just talked about to completely fill shipping schedules in about two weeks, so it looks like to me the final company that can supply food, boom like that, is not going to be doing it shortly.
Therefore, call them.
The J. Michael Stevens Group at 1-800-377-0700.
Now, they didn't come out and say that, but really, in a way, they did.
If the Canadian orders will completely fill shipping schedules, that's another way of saying you're about to be out of luck the way I read it.
Now, maybe I'm wrong.
I don't think so.
1-800-377-07-00 now.
Radios.
I love radios.
There is a best radio in the world, and I mean the best.
And it is the CC Radio.
No contest here.
Popular science agrees.
MSNBC agrees.
They wrote an article about it.
And any number of independent testing that's gone on.
And Everybody agrees, yes, it is the best radio in the world.
And that's saying a lot, because there's some pretty damn good radios out there, but this one is miles and miles ahead of the others.
And that's a big jump in technology.
Now, that costs money.
Let me tell you a little bit about it.
AM, of course, in one kilohertz increments, by the way.
FM, television audio, and NOAA weather.
And NOAA weather alert.
Now, that means even if your radio is off, something bad is coming our way, it alerts you.
It turns itself on and tells you what's coming.
That really might save your life.
So I would, you know, portable or you can plug it into the wall.
It comes equipped to do all of that.
Buy one.
If you have the box, buy one.
It's worth every penny and it will exceed your expectations.
It's $159.95.
And you might say, holy smokes, that's a lot of money for a radio.
And it is.
That's a lot of radio, folks.
Call Seacrane in the morning.
Christmas, of course, is coming.
They have a special deal.
You buy now, and the warranty does not begin until you open the present on Christmas Day, December 25th.
Now, I don't know how they are trusting in you that you don't order your present earlier.
But they are.
So there.
Call them.
Get one on the way.
For you or somebody you love.
1-800-522-8863 is the number.
1-800-522-8863.
hold it, 6:30 Pacific Time in the morning and do it.
Now, I've got a special line open for government agents only.
And everybody else, stay off that line.
Government agents, area 51 people, that kind of stuff, only.
Area code 775-727-1222.
And everybody else, abandon that line and use the other numbers.
Well, as if this may not sound little, but to me it is.
As some people are aware and others are not, there was a, how should I put it, a secret landing at Edwards Air Force Base with Churchill, Eisenhower, and friends back on February the 20th, 1954.
Well, I know about the supposed landing, but I don't know about the president and all that.
unidentified
Oh, yeah.
Churchill was there and everything.
And the point is, that is verified in the future in such a way that in a few centuries to come, they will look back on that date and they'll say 1954 will be the year one of contact.
Roswell is verified, too, but it is not important as much so as 1954, which becomes the year one on a future calendar.
Now the controversy or controversy begins when people in the future, upon reading a book that I will not write for two or three more years, come to be convinced that 1986 should be the year one of the new age.
Why?
Oh, because the Supreme Commandant achieved a recreation of time at that point and prevented what would have been the big crunch from happening and literally recreated the universe.
And this is such a big deal that it causes me to say, well, 1986 should be the year one, literally.
And then the people in the future who don't believe that, that believe that the year of contact one, 1954 should be the year one, they get into war with each other eventually.
Yeah, but I'm trying to ameliorate that by traveling backwards and forward in time and trying to check up on every little thing that moves the future now and changes it slightly.
They would really object to being ruled by Great Britain again.
We had a big war about that already.
unidentified
But this is different.
This is like the secret empire.
And it has been in existence only since 1871.
The Franco-Prussian War was one example of a ruse to fool everyone.
The United States Civil War, for example, was actually triggered by Great Britain in order to weaken the internal structure of the U.S. enough to where they could filter their way in through the secret societies and take over the new United States that took place after the Civil War.
Within six months to a year from, let's see, I'll say during 2001, and it will be before the end of that year, there will be certain documents that will be released that will verify several of the things that I have already revealed in past shows.
Here's Kell who writes from Rochester, Minnesota that, hey, Eric, why hasn't the NTSB or FAA required the implementation of something better than black boxes?
Well, I don't know what that would be.
The black boxes are designed to do two things.
Record electronically the last seconds of recordable material, you know, like if an airplane blows up or whatever happens to it.
And the cockpit voice recorder should tell us what the pilots or co-pilots were saying.
And I don't know what would be better than that.
It's hard to imagine what could be better than that, because anything else in an emergency situation like a satellite link or something is going to be lost, I would think.
Maybe not.
Maybe they could have a series of satellites that would consistently monitor cockpit voice transmissions or some other something from an aircraft that would transmit final data or emergency data.
Oh, that would be where there'd be another number, actually, of government agents.
unidentified
Well, indeed.
And in fact, I've traveled around the world, and so far, as far as the conspiracies go, I cannot see any way where any type of interagency conspiracy could possibly manifest itself.
And it's just nearly impossible for the cooperation.
You're referring, I take it, to my earlier callers who are suggesting that some sort of new world order through an emergency like Y2Care, whatever, is going to be foisted off on us, and there'll be U.N. troops all over the place.
Well, the problem is this would be an excellent forum, but it's so hard to authenticate the people that are calling in that are claiming to be federal agents.
I really am, and not only am I, I think I could probably help you in authenticating and screening some of the callers with two questions probably per caller, which would open the lines for legitimate federal caller.
Well, bring the people in, and I'll ask them a couple of questions, and we'll see if they're authentic.
I truly believe most of the media is full of crap.
unidentified
Well, I think that if you're reading a story and you were there, as anyone can attest to the fact that if they ever witnessed an accident and saw the article in the newspaper, they had it all wrong.
But in general, the main idea of the story is generally correct.
Most of the media in this country takes what's off the wire, the Associated Press or whatever else, and reads that and takes that as gospel.
And I'm not getting down on the AP, the UPI, Reuters, all of the major news distribution services are pretty much the same.
I mean, you're taking their word for it.
unidentified
Well, that's right.
Not only am I, you know, the media in general, I mean, the media is huge.
It includes everybody from every country.
But that is a major source of information for any intelligence analyst.
We don't have, there's not people that are running around like in the James Bond films that are having human intelligence contacts with everybody in the field.
You have to rely on guys like Matt Drudge, other internet sites.
You have to rely on these wire stories.
And in general, the main picture is true, and it's very easy to independently verify any story.
It doesn't matter if it's in the heart of Iran or somewhere here in Washington, D.C. You do sound like a government agent.
Well, Lord, I certainly am.
And I can indeed send you an email to authenticate.
And I also, off the air, I can give you the exact name of my office.
And you can call the published number, and that will indeed verify I am who I say I am.
Now, what about earlier today, I realize this may be above your head, but our president said basically that the savings and the safety of the American people with regard to Y2K are going to be okay.
Especially certain agencies that are trying to be run like private industries and they put their hand out and basically can request whatever from whomever.
But as far as on the local scale, your police department could they possibly have to where your 911 information wouldn't come up on the screen?
But do you think it's just negligence on the government's part?
Because if so, you probably know as well as I do there's very little cooperation between local governments and state governments and the federal government.
Well, even among government agencies, the DIA, the FBI, the CIA, the NSA people, they all are.
unidentified
We're not in the business of losing information.
Banks aren't in the business of losing money.
The power companies aren't in the business of losing power.
And I think everyone is pretty much that.
Maybe in the third world we're going to have some problems.
But whenever people start talking about Y2K and specific problems related to computers, I will say, well, what was the problem that you did identify before you upgraded your software, before you corrected the glitch?
And so hopefully we don't get past January 1st or the first working day, and everybody goes, oh, my God, now I see.
unidentified
Well, I tell you, maybe some of the hype actually is spreading because I was thinking to myself, you know, I certainly wouldn't want to be deployed in the ship somewhere in the middle of nowhere, just in case.
You brought up the 911 system a lot this evening, and I just wanted to add a little bit to what the last caller said.
As you know, that system is basically just a computer, and it's sort of got a lot of defaults to it, to where if it loses the date, loses the time, and things like that, it will still pass calls.
What if you cannot, for example, call an appropriate fire station?
unidentified
Well, what happens is if it doesn't come in on the 911 system, it defaults to a regular seven-digit number, and you lose what is known as the A ⁇ I information.
Probably when you worked at it, you only had the phone number.
No, no, no, but I'm talking about dispatch responsibilities.
If the software that allows you to hit the fire button and dispatch appropriately doesn't work, or electronic controls or data information going to police cars is no longer flowing, we've got a really big problem.
unidentified
Right, but I think that from what I got from your news report, they were talking about strictly the 911 PSAPs, the public safety answering positions.
And you're right, if you hit that little button to transfer to a secondary agency, usually it goes on 911 first, which is radio control lines.
And then if it doesn't do it, it dials a seven-digit number.
Now, granted, if that fails, as you know, you use ingenuity.
You simply pass the call through other means, relaying it yourself without having to.
Yeah, but there would be a potential gigantic log jam.
Now, the only thing I was saying, the only thing I was saying is for the president to say that our savings and our safety are taken care of, and then while his own committee is saying half, 50% are not compliant, 911 systems, to me, that definitely falls in the category of safety.
unidentified
Well, what's scarier about all that is, wouldn't you think that before they cleared his speech, someone would have said, wait a minute, we're in conflict with something else that came out of our office here a few days earlier.
We don't want to panic anybody, so we're going to make a general statement that the savings and the safety of the American people are assured.
unidentified
Well, your updated forecast tonight of what you think might happen is what I've been saying all along, and I think that that is what's going to happen.
I think almost nothing at the stroke of midnight except maybe a few pranksters here and there.
But come Monday morning, come the mid-sized or the smaller-sized companies that say, ah, to heck with it.
We'll take the ostrich approach or deal with it when it happens.
Well, they're going to get some really good offers.
unidentified
Well, I hope I'm going to be, I tell you, that night, I want to listen to your show because for one thing, you have touched with basically the whole world calling in, and I think that the news will be more real-time coming from you.
My father is, well, you are probably aware that McDonnell Douglas was bought by Boeing.
And he is a private, he works with the private contracting side.
He is currently in a new job there at Boeing in St. Louis as their direct military contact for propulsion.
Now, in June of this year, they buried, well, they shelved a project that they had been working on out there.
That project was about a five-year project, and they shelfed that project due to the fact that they couldn't get it to work, and Boeing decided that McDonald Lowell had been spending too much money on it.
And there's a fire caught in me inside my clothes.
Thinking that the world looks fine.
Yeah.
Oh, well, then.
Oh, well, then.
I can see you lying back in your second.
You made it.
I'm out of your head.
I'm out of here.
I'm happy about that.
She's been looking like a queen in a sailor's dream And she don't always say what she really means Sometimes I think it's a shame When I get feeling better when I'm feeling no pain Sometimes I think it's a shame When I get feeling better when I'm feeling no pain
Call Art Bell in the Kingdom of Nye from West of the Rockies at 1-800-618-8255.
East of the Rockies, 1-800-825-5033.
First-time callers may rechart at 1-775-727-1222.
And the Wildcard line is open at 1-775-727-1295.
To rechart on the toll-free international line, call your AT ⁇ T operator and have them dial 800-893-0903.
This is Coast to Coast AM with Art Bell from the Kingdom of Die.
The people at Ballets are very protective, as they ought to be, by the way, of George Carlin.
And so getting through to him was really close, like within seconds here.
But I think that we have done it.
So coming up in a moment, the big C. George Carlin.
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Well, normally I read some sort of bio on my guest, but if you don't know who George Carlin is, then what can I tell you?
Everybody knows who George Carlin is.
And he just finished a show at Bally's, so here he is, George Carlin.
My mother, who I did have in my life as a youngster, my mother could come home from work riding the bus in New York City, and she could tell you a story that happened, something happened on the bus, and she could do three or four voices of the people, and she'd improve everything they said, and she'd always have a punchline, a great punchline.
So there's a genetic strain, and particularly, I think, the Irish have a gift of that.
And so I have pretty much, I couldn't help but I found that it got me a lot of attention and approval as a youngster.
I think the belief in God is a form of mental illness.
It's a very limiting form of the intellect, the wonderful intellect that nature has given us, I use the word nature, has given us, is compromised by surrendering things to the will of God.
Well, you know, if you're talking about 65 million years ago with the reptiles and all, I mean, that's certainly a possible random achievement that we could attain to have one of those fellas hit us.
And I read once, by the way, I was very disappointed that the bolide didn't hit on June 30th.
I want you to know, I listen as often as I can, Art.
It's not regular, but it's probably two or three times a month.
I was hoping that the bolide would be on time, and then I was hoping when it didn't show up on June 30th that at least Nostradamus would be correct with July 6th, and then that didn't happen, and I wondered what Father Charlie Moore was going to tell the people, because he was quite, you know, he was, yeah.
But I would like to see, and I want it to happen a little east of me so that the prevailing winds carry the destruction around a little bit late, and I can watch some of it on CNN.
I want to see the cities go out one at a time, London, Moscow, Tokyo, and then catch up to me.
You know, I'm having a little fun with this, but I honestly must tell you that I do enjoy big disasters.
And I always hope that they're going to be a little bit bigger.
Well, the problem is When you scratch a cynic, you find a disappointed idealist underneath.
And I will cop out to that.
I'm sure there's some flame burning dimly in me that would like to see everything work.
But it doesn't look like that is what is in the cards.
If we had another maybe thousand or ten thousand years to evolve, and we got past this stuff of national borders with 168 countries or whatever it is, and 2,000 or 5,000 languages or whatever it is, and all of these rivalries, we could have a chance.
When you're stuck in local time, that is when your mind, your thoughts, your parameters are stuck in local time, you see things on a small level, on a limited basis.
But I think that if there is ever to be a golden age of this species, a true golden age, it will not include borders and 168 countries and 2,000 or 5,000 languages, whatever the real count is these days.
It will not include those things.
This is a very young, primitive species.
The fact that our technology has raced eons ahead of us is interesting and it gives us a lot of toys and things, but we're still very close to who we were 10,000 years ago.
Well, I'm kind of separate from this culture here.
The one good thing, and I'll get back to the basic part of your question, the one good thing these days here is that there are really a lot of first-class restaurants now.
There might be 20 to 30 restaurants where you can really count on the food.
But this is what it shows itself to be.
I work in theaters primarily.
I do about 100 or 120 theaters and concert halls a year.
Most of them are about 2,500 seaters, and that is my general career along with my HBO shows.
And I come here about 10 or 12 weeks a year to give a little rest to those markets that I'm usually going to Seattle and Miami and Pittsburgh.
And you have to rest them a little bit.
You can't be going back every year.
So I get down, I can earn a little money here, and I can stay in one place for two or three weeks at a time.
I don't have to pack every day.
I can write.
I can't.
So that's my reason for being here.
And that's the only reason I can tolerate it because it does something to me.
I'm not a schmoozer.
I'm not a hangout guy.
I never hung out with show business people.
I don't know many of them.
I don't have a lot of industry friends.
I have a small circle of friends.
Most of them are unrelated to show business.
So here I'm a kind of alien.
There's a topic for us.
I'm a kind of alien, and I...
Oh, yes.
And I don't know if it's a function of age or intellect.
You know, all of our intellect, it is to be hoped, sharpen a little bit with age, and we get our perceptions a little clearer and what it is we need from the world clearer.
But in my case, I can say it's happened that way.
And I find that I'm in love now with a woman.
I'm engaged to a woman, Sally, who, well, let me put it this way.
Let me bring you back just a few years.
I had a wonderful marriage with my wife, Brenda, for 35, 36 years.
Well, we were together about 37 years.
And Brenda died about two years ago.
And now I've fallen in love with Sally, and we are kind of separate from the world.
We have our own little circle of, it's like about three people.
And I love that.
I really don't like the entanglements because people are, a lot of people are just, they drag you down with their agendas and their things that are on their minds and what they're concerned with.
They seem to have a lot of frivolous things they care about, and I don't care for all that worldly stuff.
And actually, I've always read disaster books, gone to disaster movies, and I think most people, even though they don't admit it, are just like George, the bigger the disaster, the better.
Speaking of war, you know, there's a big headline today that the U.S. Army, two of its, it says two of our divisions are not prepared should there be a war.
But I think, let me just try and make a pass at the positives because I want to say this much.
I don't believe very much in groups.
I don't like what I call the clotting of human beings.
I really love individuals.
As I meet them one at a time, even a kind of an inane person or someone who's kind of goofy or is even kind of bad news.
There's something interesting.
Like a guy who just raped his dog is at least interesting.
You look in his eyes and you kind of see something here.
But it's the groups.
It's when they begin to surrender the beauty of the human individual mind to a group mind and group thought.
Suddenly they start having little hats and little sayings and passwords and they have a list of things they're going to do and they have fight songs and teen jackets and things.
And I think they lose the beauty of individual humanity, which I believe in.
Are you not, though, somewhat in contradiction with yourself, though?
Because you earlier said that until we erase the borders, the nationalism, all the rest of it, well, once you've done all that, you've got a bunch of people that are holding hands and talking about love, and that's it.
Some catalytic agent took the ingredients and put them together, and it's probably happened in a million or 10 million or 10 billion other places in the universe, and it's all just an accident.
The interesting thing...
you see, you got the good questions, all right, and I got the bad answers.
If things evolved, but they evolved to the left and to the right, not always in a straight line.
I mean, there are branches.
Obviously, there are, what, 400 different, I don't know how many species of mammals, and they all came after the reptiles were destroyed by this presumed comet or asteroid 65 million years ago.
There was something like a ferret-like animal.
I believe it was about the largest mammal.
And then we've arisen since from that point out into separate directions, left and right and forward.
But some of these species hit a dead end, and some don't.
Some of them are viable.
The chimpanzee, the ape, the great apes, are viable.
Now, let me ask you to clarify, but first let me tell you what I'm wondering myself.
Because you're probably, and I'm sure you are, better informed on this issue than I. I don't know about that.
Well, I have a smattering of information and speculation from people who have agendas.
My feeling is that probably a lot of the larger major systems, at least in this country, have been, that the correction will take, or they will have fairly simple corrections to come down the line.
But I think there would be a lot of random, you know, like the sewers will back up in one place and the power will go out in another place and this will overflow there and that will go out here and there will be randomized checkerboard patterns.
We have a couple of books and matches, and we feel we're going to be okay.
But, you know, I'm along for the ride, and if I die, hey, it's okay with me as long as things get really messed up.
I just like the idea that I can turn.
Well, maybe I can't turn on the news.
I guess I got one of those wind-up radios you have.
And I can listen to that, and I can hear how bad it is.
I mean, I don't care, Art.
You see, I'm just a person who doesn't care about these things.
I really don't care.
I know that when things like an earthquake, like I say, when the amusement park ride is out of your control, you have to just hold on and enjoy the ride.
And I know that that is a possibility, as you say, between now and the spring.
I'm just hoping that a lot of overseas, a lot of other countries get really chaotic.
I had a guy who called me who said that he's looking around at everything that's happening on Earth right now, environmentally, in every other way you can imagine, socially, of the kids killing kids, all the rest of it.
And he's saying, you know, Mother Earth is mad.
And she's going to do something.
And I said, no, Mother Earth doesn't get mad.
She gets even.
And that's what I think.
I think if things get out of balance, that there'll be a return to balance.
Well, I drive home from here every time I leave here, and I leave here four or five times a year, and I drive back to Los Angeles, and I always stop a couple of times out in the middle of everywhere and take a good look.
I do know about the names of about 65 stars.
I have to be up to snuff on them.
Sometimes I get a little rusty, and I probably drop down to 40 or so.
But I love the sky.
I call it my backyard.
I think of it as something unchanging that I can find it from Cleveland, I can find it from Manila, and it's regular and predictable, and I know my stars, and I know my constellations.
So I love it, and I know what you mean when you refer to that Milky Way.
I can't tell you what would happen under a given circumstance, but my feeling is that my knowledge of myself is such that I feel I would say, oh, please, come on down here, let's talk.
Can I have a shirt like that?
Let me have one of those funny hats.
I mean, I'm being a little flipped here, but I know that I am open and willing to experience some of this because I think there is so much unexplained and so much potential beyond this limited human experience and this spectrum that we can perceive, this limited visual spectrum and audio spectrum that we perceive.
I think there's just much more, and I wish my radar were better.
It's ugly to the eye, from the air, from the ground.
There are too many humans to begin with everywhere.
There are certainly too many of them packed into the population centers of California.
I live in Southern California.
The one thing I can say that I have Good about my existence there is: I live in Venice down on those little canals, and I hear the ducks every night or in the middle of the morning.
And at least I'm close to the ocean, and I'm a little bit away from the sound of traffic, and it's like a small oasis.
But I agree with you, and I think it's true of most everywhere.
Too many people, too much acquisition of goods, too many people hunting money and position and possessions.
Everyone wants a salad shooter.
Everyone wants a pair of sneakers with lights in them.
Everyone wants a shirt with the number of some foolish basketball player on the back of it.
And we've been bought off.
We've been bought off with all these gadgets and toys.
Two things I think that happened to this species that are irreversible and that destroyed us are the belief in a man in the sky.
That's the sky god, as Gorb Didal calls him.
The belief in the sky god who keeps a scorecard on us and has a burning pit of hell for some of us.
And the other is the pursuit of goods, commerce, rampant consumerism.
The next HBO show I do is called The Great American Cattle Drive.
But the American cattle are not being prepared for market in order to be sold.
They're there for buying.
They're there to do the buying.
Get them to the mall.
Get these suckers to the mall.
Put them on the internet.
Get them buying from e-commerce.
Get them in the mall.
It's just repulsive and disgusting.
And it's one of the reasons I quit this species.
It's one of the reasons I backed off and said, wait a minute, that's you over there, folks.
This is me over here.
I'll go my way.
And if it costs me something, fine, I'll pay whatever price it is.
Well, I spent 20 years with the IRS trying to recover from a bad old tax bill that I had that got worse and worse with penalties and interest and a little bit worse at the beginning of this cycle with adding, they disallowed a few other things that I had tried to claim, which weren't horrendously, you know, they weren't really out of line.
But they were sufficient that the penalties and interest, I had a lien on my house for 20 years until I sold it about six months ago and paid them off, and that's finally over.
So I earn well.
See, I've always had good earning power.
I've been blessed with the ability, with the energy.
I had a few heart attacks along the way, but that's the only thing.
I've had energy and creativity, and I've grown in my art so that I can earn well, and I can continue to earn now, and I can save a little and keep a little of this money now.
Well, the only things that I really believe in, because I don't believe in my country, I don't believe in religion and God and institutions that man has made.
I don't believe in commerce.
But I believe in friendship, romantic love, and family, of course, which is bound into friendship.
Yes, I believe heartily, and that goes back to my affection for individual existence and individuals and the life of the sole person.
It's, as I say, when they begin to, when they get into numbers larger than four or five, even sometimes a group of two will alter how a person is.
You know, you heard a woman will say, well, Mike's not the same when he's with those guys.
Or the guys will say, well, now that he's got married, he's a different guy.
People surrender something.
That's why when a good love affair comes along, when a great love happens, it's because the two people don't have to surrender too much of themselves to make a new unit.
And that's what I'm lucky enough to think I have found.
And he rode buses, the interstate bus system, to go to a post office to mail the United States government to mail his bombs, which were also a form of crude technology.
And certainly no one would say, well, Ted's a sellout.
So these things exist on a scale, a sliding scale, and each person must decide how much of an adjustment or compromise, if you will, they are going to make in order to do the thing that's important to them, in order to continue to be the person they want to be.
And I have to sell tickets.
I have to sell CDs.
I have to be in the commercial world.
I talked about my IRS problem.
That's only because I earned big.
So I'm not pure.
I don't say that that's my scene.
My scene is that I try to keep as much of my values intact as I can and still exist in this world and not be some sort of a martyr when everyone else is running around taking care of theirselves.
did you ever read kaczynski's manifesto no i i started to and uh...
Well, I happen to admire people like that, to tell you the truth.
I know that the taking of human life to some people is not a good thing, but I don't think we've made human life very valuable in this culture we've evolved.
And I think there's a place for people who decide to take lives in order to make a point.
I mean, this culture has degraded all of us to some degree or another.
And all you can try to do is to cling to some little portions of yourself, and I mean self with almost like with a capital S, that are important and that define you, and let the rest just fly.
That's why I take pleasure in the disasters and in the troubles.
And let me say something about the millennium thing, the Y2K, and what you spoke so directly to before.
I think it's kind of wonderful that the arrogance of this species is what will bring it down.
If it goes as badly as you say, and if it really sends us back several decades or centuries or whatever to some level of barbarism, I think it's kind of interesting and ironic and poetic and literary that the fact that we have this admiration for triple zero,
for round numbers, and for a false calculation to start with, never mind that we're a year off because people are so ignorant that they think the millennium begins with the two and not ends with the zero.
But beyond that, this is all because a monk, as you know, you're aware of all of this, Dionysius, Dennis the Short was his name, in I think the 70s.
What happened was Dennis the Small or Dennis the Little, Dionysius Exiduous, Exiduous.
Dionysius the Short, he was commissioned by Pope John I in 525.
He was a 6th century Scythian monk.
He was told to standardize the liturgical calendar, and he did not include a year 0 between 1 BC and 1 AD.
So on December 31st, we're welcoming in the last year of the preceding thousand years, not the new millennium.
That's the obvious part.
But on top of that, there is confusion about when Christ was born, because this is all based on one figure, his birth date.
And Luke places the birth of Jesus while Quirinius was governor of Syria, which included Judea.
But historians know that Quirinius was not appointed governor until A.D. 6 or A.D. 7.
So they don't know if they're four years off, six years off, seven years off.
It's all a miscalculation.
And if it really destroys civilization, it's a wonderful thing that an arrogant species can bring itself low by its own calculations.
Well, all during my album career and before that, when I had an earlier surge of popularity as a straight kind of a stand-up, you know, suit and tie, short hair, I had a wonderful career in the 60s of being what you'd call a mainstream comedian.
I did all the big variety shows.
I did 25 Merv Griffins and about 30 Mike Douglas's and 11 Ed Sullivan's.
So I had a career before my hair got long and I got more personal with my comedy.
But I always did television, and all I ever wanted from TV, there are two ways I do television.
One is to go on Letterman or go on the Leno show, and in exchange for my coming on, just like any movie star or any kind of actress or band leader, I come on and I give them a little marquee value and they give me a chance to plug whatever I'm plugging.
So that's one way of doing television.
And in those cases, I don't try to change their rules.
Do you ever wonder, and I ask a lot of famous people about this, because Ted Turner once said on a Pinnacle show, I saw him, and he said, you know, having all this money, having everything, the CNN, the whole thing that I've got, he said, at the end of the day, it's all kind of an empty bag.
That's what he said.
It's kind of an empty bag.
He's got so much money, so much everything, it doesn't mean much to him anymore.
Well, that sounds as if he doesn't get much joy from the process that he's in.
I'm assuming he didn't think to mention that part.
No, I consider myself lucky and privileged to have been able to use my natural gifts in a way that satisfied me without, you know, but doing it all on my own terms and being rewarded for it.
Not just with money, but with this, you know, oh, that's the positive thing I was going to say a long time back.
Listen, this is the best thing we've come up with.
I admit that.
It's a grudging admittance because I like having my little attitudes, you know.
But I'm not dishonest.
And this is the best we've done, the best we've come up with.
I just wish that the ability to refine it and to make it better were more viable, were more available to us.
It seems as though there are a lot of, and a lot of it is that money, that political money, the interests that control things, and that's the way it is.
You know, when they talk about conspiracies, and one of the things I enjoy on your show is when people talk about the government, and I'm talking about your guests who talk about whether or not the government and certain agencies and certain aspects of government have covered things up.
And I always, I have thought for a long time, not always obviously, but that, you know, they've tried to make it so that the belief in a conspiracy makes you somehow outside the norm, that you're a kook, that you're a conspiracy buff.
Sometimes they say it's an old Martian name, but Yeah, well, their question is, have you read, I know you're talking about we being a product of some accident.
Have you read books like Darwin's Black Box by a biologist who believes that that idea of random evolution is not scientifically viable?
Well, he just wanted to sort of infect you with the possibility that it's not all random, that there really is the God that you talk about that isn't there.
Yeah, I figured I'd call in and ask you what you thought about all the, basically, the horrors in U.S. history, blue laws, everything that restricts personal liberty, the government killing people, basically the bad side of U.S. history that's never really exposed to a great deal to the mass public.
Well, I'm sympathetic to what you're saying, and my own knowledge of it goes so far as maybe to have read some Howard Zinn and to have read some of that part of history.
I've often said when they talk about, you know, there are people who say that we've had a loss of civility in this country, that there's been this breakdown in manners and civility.
And I say, well, what civility would that be?
Would that be the genocide of the Indians?
Would that be slavery?
Would that be the Hiroshima or the Nagasaki civility?
Hazel O'Leary, our own energy secretary, walking out incredibly just a couple of years ago and saying we fed plutonium to kids and pregnant women and stuff like that.
And if you just think about the labor violence in the 1930s, you know, in the name of commerce, in the name of big business, it is a terrible, blotted record.
And I have always said when people revere the flag, I've always said you have to look at that flag for everything it stands for, not just what you perceive to be heroic and perhaps good things, but everything it's ever stood for.
There are people who decry this, you know, that this loss of trust in our leaders, in our government.
Well, the record is there.
And I think it's a good thing.
And it's going to require some bloodshed someday to get it right.
Because I honestly believe, you know what I like about assassination art?
It shoots the hell out of those popularity polls.
Those polls, he's up to 70% now.
All of a sudden, bing, he's not even in the poll anymore.
And I'm not telling people to go out and do that, but I'm telling you, when I see that, and we're way behind India even, India has killed three Gandhis, and we've only killed two Kennedys.
Well, the thing about words is that they're arbitrary designations, and they freeze meaning.
They don't allow for nuance or any sort of spectrum.
And that's one of the difficulties and limitations of language.
And then when you add religious superstition and fear, guilt, and shame of the human body, this is what religion has done to us in this area of obscenity.
It has taken the human body, its functions concerning sex, and as it happens, excretory procedures, and assigned to it an evil, a bad attitude.
I mean, Newsweek would not have even put that much in there 10 years ago or certainly 20 years ago.
So there's a certain erosion that takes place.
But no, I can tell you a 10-letter and a 12-letter one that they'll never print unless it's a magazine with a smaller circulation that doesn't depend so much on mass advertising.
Well, you're very good at behaving yourself, aren't you?
In other words, you can either be George, the HBO George, or the record album George, or you can be the George under control, even doing stuff for kids.
You know, I really thank you for the chance to be myself and to show my flaws and weaknesses and to show some of my strengths and to tell you the things I feel.
And I do love your show, and I hope you do it forever and ever.
Say in the southern tier of the U.S. while the other would take care of the northern tier?
unidentified
No, it's pretty regional to the west side of Lake Tahoe, up to Modoc County area, up to Siskiyou, and then it stretches across probably to northern parts of Idaho.
I don't particularly know, but the dogs responded instantly, and that's when I knew I had to be ready for something, and a lot of people weren't even paying attention to these animals.
And all of a sudden, something basically reappeared, which was a human that I could best say, very, very large.
And they were probably maybe about 9 feet, 9.5 feet tall.
And they were basically mostly human, except they had a few extra.
Good lord, man, where did this occur?
Well, around the south side of Area 51, which I was really not allowed inside into any of the hangars or any of the underground labyrinths that are there.
Only about three times did I ever respond, which was basically with employee problems.
But these people were very I can't it's hard for me to talk about it because it almost seems like a dream because the things that happened to me after I saw this.
The Black Hawks came in, and I was surrounded by probably about 10 Humvees.
And that's when I had to go into debriefing.
And they pulled me in, and they sat me down with a team of people.
They probed me.
They really wanted to know what was going on.
They had some artists render sketches.
And they became very concerned.
And evidently, there is a race of alien species that maybe is from another planet, but they definitely are involved in the politics of mankind on an international scale.
Apparently, that's one of the dual purposes of NATO is also for some of these things that happen.
And it's pretty scary to see how advanced we are as a culture, technically, already, and some things that we don't do for the inhabitants of the planet.
I just began to become upset, thinking that, you know, I didn't have the IQ some of these people had, and they knew all these things.
I've got to run because we're out of time, but I'll tell you this.
A lot of it wasn't hype.
A lot of it was true, and a lot of it was even understated.
In other words, what they can track from satellite would cause you heartaches if you knew.
The way they can listen in to a conversation in what you think is a private area would blow your mind.
The ability in the modern day and age, this modern day and age, I think I saw an ad for it, and they said the more electronics, the more modern conveniences you have, the more of an opportunity they have to keep track of everything you do, everything you say, all your private moments, if they want to.
And I believe the majority of that is true.
unidentified
Well, I don't know what to say about that man who just called.
I mean, they feel that things are so screwed up right now that something needs to come along and, you know, like everybody out of the pool and start again.
If it's really coming, the new world order, would you rather be on the inside or the outside?
unidentified
She's my ball.
And she knows I love to love her.
She lets me down every time.
She knows I love her tonight.
She'll be so embodied I want her all for myself Oh, temptation Tonight, tonight, sweetheart
you know Baby, I'm the girlfriend.
You know, I used to really love this song, and I still do, but now when I hear it, all I can think of is five-cent telephone calls to recharge belt in the kingdom of my from west of the Rockies dial 1-800-6188255.
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This is Coast to Coast AM with Art Bell on the Premier Radio Network.
Somebody named Peter writes to me and says, Aren't you boothed?
Tonight is supposed to be Wednesday night and the guest list is George Carlin.
Means tomorrow night is Thursday, and the guest is not Ed James.
It's a historic show with Peter Davenport.
Well, you're wrong.
It's both.
Peter Davenport will be here in the first hour of the program.
So if you don't get the first hour of the program, you're really going to miss it tomorrow night, or tonight, technically.
And after Peter Davenport comes Ed Danes.
So it's going to be historic all the way around.
Five-cent calls, right?
That what it makes you think about?
now they haven't ruined it Well, if you'd like to get to me on the internet, send me email.
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That really is the number one thing with an Internet provider, right?
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All right, I am told that I have one more thing that I must do, and then we will return to Open Lines.
And yes, I have another government agent.
By now, I'll bet most of you out there have read and heard more regarding Y2K than you really want to know, right?
I'm referring, of course, to the computer crashes, which are supposed to occur January 1 of the year 2000.
Well, many people forecast disasters.
Others say, no problem, don't worry, be happy.
My friends at David Hall's North American Trading suggest that what you should believe and what you should do is contained in their newsletter entitled A Conservative Look at Y2K.
I think this newsletter really does offer the most sensible approach to Y2K preparedness that I've read yet.
And, best of all, they're willing to provide a copy of this absolutely free to my listeners, and I strongly, strongly recommend you read it.
All you have to do is call 1-800-359-4255 and ask for the free Y2K newsletter.
Be sure and call soon, though, because obviously there's little time left to prepare.
That number is 1-800-359-4255.
All right, here we go.
Government agents appear to be addicted to cell phones, and I've got one on a cell phone here.
Is there anything during your career with the NSA in the Far East or with the U.S. Marshal Service that would be of particular interest to this audience?
unidentified
Well, I was involved in several, well, actually, two different web ops, one in Laos and another one in Vietnam in 1968.
Yeah, I know there was a lot of that.
The U.S. Marshal Service, though, what was interesting is basically I retired prematurely because I became somewhat of a relic, I guess, an artifact.
And a lot of it came to pass after the Ruby Ridge debacle and some of the things that happened.
I was still with the Marshal Service when the Oklahoma City bombing occurred.
A lot of the reasons that the Marshal Service, I think, decided to retire me other than the fact that they wanted to put, once the Democrats had come into power, they wanted to replace those in supervisory positions with their own people.
As a matter of fact, actually, they did the same thing with federal judges.
unidentified
Oh, yes.
That's part of the spoil system of our political process.
But I think one of the most interesting aspects of it was I think when the first teletype came over, actually it's not a teletype anymore, but that's one of the archaic terms us relics would use.
Talking about how Billy Beaton had been killed there in Ruby Ridge.
And they told the story of how, allegedly, they'd been up there surveilling the area, and the young boy and the young man that he was with had observed them and supposedly sticked a dog on them.
And it just didn't have the ring of truth there.
I investigated a lot of different crime scenes and had various different reports of crimes at a different plan.
Well, all right, then let me ask you then about something you know about, the witness protection program.
If somebody rats on the mob or rats on somebody that would kill them for giving testimony, and they enter the witness protection program, can they really feel safe?
Will the witness protection program really do what it says it does, or will they get to you anyway?
Well, I want to mention to my fellow hams again that now that conditions are getting better, and they really are, oh man, they're getting so much better, I'm going to be on 29.6 during the daytime on FM on 10 meters.
unidentified
Now, the FU, let's see, that's a band.
I've worked 10 meters before, but I haven't really.
Well, okay, basically what he does is he rents commercial airtime to not only the religious groups and everybody, but he rents a lot of time to people who just want to put on programs, like they have Oli shows and things like that.
The problem is that they've got to pay the electric bill and they have big transmitters and so they end up selling time to people who can't get on anywhere else.
You know, the total fanatics, a lot of that type of thing.
We have contemplated now for years, thank you, putting the show on shortwave, but we just haven't done it.
And you know why?
Because of what I just talked about.
Because we don't want to get mixed up with a lot of what's on there now.
That's not to say we will not eventually go on some shortwave station, but there's so much radical radio that we just don't want to get mixed up in it.
So we've had some opportunities and haven't done it.
Then, of course, there's been sort of a race of technology that has overtaken shortwave.
With satellite delivery, you can talk to people all over the world without any fading and the rest of that because so much has changed.
Eventually, radio will come to you.
Let me bitch about something while I've got the chance.
You know, these various television services like the Dish Service or Direct TV, I've got both of them here.
And they're wonderful.
But they've got like 100 music channels.
I mean, you can hear Italian polka channel music 24 hours a day.
And so my question is, since talk radio is the number one format in the world, how are these satellite services servicing their customers by not putting talk, having at least one channel, one channel for talk radio?
I think it's an abomination.
It's ridiculous.
Why aren't we on these direct satellite services?
Talk radio should be all over it.
At least one channel.
So if you, next time you send in your bill to DISH or direct or RCA, whoever you deal with, raise hell with them.
Tell them, how come you don't have talk radio on there?
What the hell's the matter with you people?
Who needs all of that music?
I mean, the music is nice, it's fine, but there is this other medium, in fact, the all-consuming talk radio medium, number one right now, and you guys don't even have it.
What the hell's the matter with you?
Raise hell with them.
West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
unidentified
Hi, all right.
You know the song you were asking about, Mother and Child Reunion?
I thought the only thing it could mean is that a child had died and the mother was about to pass on and he was singing about how his wife and his child were about to be together again.
unidentified
No, sorry, it was just a chicken and an egg on a plate.
Now, Peter Davenport in the first hour tomorrow night with a couple of major heavy pilots, pilots of heavies, I guess I ought to say, and an air traffic controller.
It's going to be quite a night.
And then, of course, it's Ed Dames from the high desert.