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Nov. 10, 1999 - Art Bell

02:56:33

Coast to Coast AM with Art Bell - George Carlin & Government Agents

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	And I'm gonna love you still Just got back from a downtown party
	so sweet, and I've been right back in the alley. I'm ready, yeah yeah yeah I'm ready, oh oh oh I'm ready and I'm really
	Where the music was so sweet And I've been right back in the alley I'm ready
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm ready Just got back from the downtown party Where the music was
	gonna rock tonight.
	Sweet little lady sing like a songbird, sing me out like you ain't never heard her but she ain't ready, no no no she
	ain't ready, no no no she ain't ready to take a rockin' road.
	Wanna take a ride?
	Well, call Art Bell from west of the Rockies at 1-800-618-8255.
	East of the Rockies at 1-800-825-5033.
	First time callers may recharge at 1-775-727-1222.
	East of the Rockies at 1-800-825-5033.
	First time callers may reach out at 1-775-727-1222.
	The wildcard line is open at 1-775-727-1295.
	And to reach out on the toll free international line, call your AT&T operator and have them dial 800-893-0903.
	This is Coast to Coast AM with Art Bell on the Premier Radio Networks.
	And we're really going to rock tonight, all right?
	We've got George Carlin here next hour.
	He'll be wrapping up a performance at the Bally's in Las Vegas.
	And he's going to come on the radio and talk to us, and it's gotten me a little scared.
	The president has said, Y2K is an amount to a good amount of beans, and he says, our savings and safety.
	Which comes first, by the way?
	Our savings or our safety?
	Are okay, and it's going to be a bunch of nothing, basically.
	Well, I don't know.
	At the same time, the president's own Y2K committee said that 50% of the 911 systems are not compliant, so I thought, doesn't that have something to do with safety?
	Teresa writes, dear Art Bell, I do not take comfort in the statements made by impeached President Clinton.
	Until she doesn't like them, right?
	She says, there were not enough congressmen to define public safety.
	However, he used key words, even answered one question with absolutely not, with the same intonations and hesitations used early in the questions about Monica.
	So, not to get political on you, but this man couldn't tell the truth to God himself.
	I take his absolute not problem statement to mean he knows that all hell is going to break loose.
	Unless, of course, you still believe he did not inhale.
	That's Teresa.
	So, I don't know, Teresa, I probably agree to a great extent with you.
	And here's another little worrisome headline for you, just breaking today on CNN.
	The United States Army, our army, you know, the one that protects us, right?
	has now rated two of its ten divisions as unprepared for a major war.
	This is serious.
	Two of our ten divisions are unprepared for a major war.
	Well, that's the only reason we've got them, is in case we have a major war.
	And what do they attribute that to?
	Well, peacekeeping.
	We've got so many troops in Bosnia and elsewhere now that we don't have enough troops to fight a major war if it comes along.
	That's a very serious headline when you think about it.
	Very serious.
	We don't have enough to handle a major war.
	Huh.
	It's a very non-trivial thing and people are not paying attention to it because you never know when there's going
	to be a major war.
	Are you in Canada?
	Well, if so, listen very closely.
	Important information follows.
	You can breathe a huge sigh of relief up there.
	The J. Michael Stevens Group now can ship food into Canada.
	A couple of thousand of you in Canada have put names on a waiting list trying to find out if you could get food.
	You will shortly receive instructions for completing your order so you can do it.
	Everybody else in Canada who is not yet ordered should call 1 800-377-0700 immediately here in the U.S.
	Anybody unsure and waiting to call, I would say you had better act now.
	They expect the Canadian orders that I just talked about to completely fill shipping schedules in about two weeks, so it looks like to me the final company that can supply food, boom like that, is not going to be doing it shortly.
	Therefore, call them.
	The J. Michael Stevens Group at 1-800-377-0700.
	Now, they didn't come out and say that, but really, in a way, they did.
	If the Canadian orders will completely fill shipping schedules, that's another way of saying, you're about to be out of luck, the way I read it.
	Now, maybe I'm wrong.
	I don't think so.
	1-800-377-0700. Now, radios.
	I love radios.
	There is a best radio in the world, and I mean the best, and it is the CC Radio.
	No contest here.
	Popular Science agrees, MSNBC agrees, they wrote an article about it, and any number of independent testing that's gone on Everybody agrees, yes, it is the best radio in the world.
	And that's saying a lot, because there's some pretty damn good radios out there, but this one is miles and miles ahead of the others.
	And that's a big jump in technology.
	Now, that costs money.
	Let me tell you a little bit about it.
	AM, of course, in one kilohertz increments, by the way, FM, television audio, And NOAA Weather.
	NOAA Weather Alert.
	That means even if your radio is off, something bad is coming our way, it alerts you, it turns itself on, and tells you what's coming.
	That really might save your life.
	So, I would, you know, portable or you can plug it into the wall.
	Comes equipped to do all of that.
	Buy one.
	If you have the bucks, buy one.
	It's worth every penny, and it will exceed your expectations.
	It's $159.95.
	You might say, holy smokes, that's a lot of money for a radio, and it is.
	That's a lot of radio, folks.
	Call C-Crane in the morning.
	Christmas, of course, is coming, and they have a special deal.
	You buy now, and the warranty does not Begin until you open the present on Christmas Day, December 25th.
	Now, I don't know how they're trusting in you that you don't order your present earlier, but they are.
	So there.
	Call them.
	Get one on the way for you or somebody you love.
	1-800-522-8863 is the number.
	1-800-522-8863.
	Call at 6.30 Pacific Time in the morning and do it.
	Now I've got a special line open for government agents.
	Only.
	And everybody else stay off that line.
	Government agents, Area 51 people, that kind of stuff.
	Only.
	Area Code 775.
	727-1222.
	And everybody else, abandon that line and use the other numbers.
	Okay.
	Every time we open one of these lines, Steve gets through.
	Steve has made it through.
	Hello, Steve.
	Steve?
	Where are you?
	Steve?
	Oh, I see what's happened.
	Let's see, let's try it.
	Maybe I lost him.
	Are you there, Steve?
	Yes, I'm here.
	Can you hear me now?
	Yeah, I've got you.
	Sorry.
	Okay, I was thinking, uh-oh.
	Well, what kind of government agent are you, Steve?
	I mean, I've wondered about you since you've been calling the program, frankly.
	This is my first call since January, and it is my 16th call since July 1997.
	All right.
	You're obviously keeping a careful log or something.
	Oh yeah, I keep a close log on everything that comes over the Art Bell Show.
	Especially your open lines like that Secret Society line.
	And I noticed that none of the dragons called that night.
	No, but... I know why they didn't call.
	Because they'd have been killed.
	I told them not to.
	You told them not to.
	That's right.
	See, I was the ex-controller of the classic Illuminati.
	Now, the dragons are like the highest of the high.
	That's right.
	So, if you told them not to, then you must be higher than the highest of the high, truly ruling the entire everything.
	I'm only a liaison between those secret societies and the Pleiadian Supreme Commandant.
	That is why I am her messenger on Earth in the coming time of the revealing.
	Well, then you're nothing but an intergalactic mouthpiece.
	Yes, but I'm from Earth.
	Well, there you go.
	So, you have some revelations for us about the New World Order, right?
	And what lies ahead for all of us?
	That is correct.
	What are they?
	Well, I'll begin with the simple stuff and work to the big stuff.
	How's that?
	That's fine.
	Okay.
	Well, as if this may not sound little, but to me it is.
	As some people are aware, and others are not, there was a, how should I put it, A secret landing at Edwards Air Force Base with Churchill, Eisenhower, and friends back on February 20, 1954.
	Well, I know about the supposed landing, but I don't know about the President and all that.
	Oh, yeah.
	Churchill was there and everything.
	And the point is, that is verified in the future in such a way that in a few centuries to come, they will look back on that day and they'll say 1954 will be the year one of contact.
	What about Roswell?
	Roswell is verified too, but it is not important as much so as 1954, which becomes the year one on the future calendar.
	Now the controversy begins when people in the future, upon reading a book that I will not write for two or three more years, come to be convinced that 1986 should be the year one of the New Age.
	Why?
	Because the Supreme Commandant achieved a recreation of time at that point.
	And prevented what would have been the big crunch from happening, and literally recreated the universe.
	Saying he saved our butts?
	Then the entire universe, through Pleiadian technology, of course.
	And this is such a big deal that causes me to say, well, 1986 should be the year one, literally.
	And then the people in the future who don't believe that, that believe that the year of contact one, 1954, should be the year one, they get in a war with each other eventually.
	Figures.
	I'm trying to ameliorate that by traveling backwards and forward in time, and trying to check up on every little thing that moves the future now, and changes it slightly.
	Why should we believe you?
	I mean, you're saying you're a time traveler?
	You're saying you're in the interface between the Pleiadians and the Secret Societies of Dragons, even?
	Oh yeah.
	I mean, that's quite a boast, Steve.
	It is, but...
	Everything that I will say will always turn out to be true within the not-too-distant future.
	All right.
	Give me a couple real good, hard, close-in items that are going to happen so we can test you.
	All right.
	Well, first of all, Al Gore will probably be assassinated if he is elected president.
	But then again, so either will he or will George Bush, because there is an assassination cycle that is about to commence.
	And that may, if it is not controlled properly, result in the dissolution of the United States by 2007 at the latest.
	And it will be replaced by the New World Order, by the North American Union, which will be administered from Britain, of course.
	And everything will be just fine until the revolution begins.
	I'm not going for the Queen thing.
	Oh no, it has nothing to do with that.
	And most Americans aren't.
	They would really object to being ruled by Great Britain again.
	I know.
	We had a big war about that already.
	But this is different.
	This is like the Secret Empire.
	And it has been in existence only since 1871.
	The Franco-Prussian War was one example of a ruse to fool everyone.
	The United States Civil War, for example, was actually triggered by Great Britain in order to weaken The internal structure of the U.S.
	enough to where they could filter their way in through the secret societies and take over the new United States that took place after the Civil War.
	So really then, you're saying since way back then, they've actually been running things anyway, even though we have this war and everything and we thought we were independent.
	But the point is, the point is, is that Even Winston Churchill got in on it.
	He took over behind the scenes and declared himself the modern Augustus Caesar.
	But then, Elizabeth was appointed by the Pleiadians and recognized as the rightful leader.
	Alright, but Stephen, we digress.
	For a short while now, Charles is the secret emperor.
	Charles?
	Is the secret emperor since 1994.
	We're digressing a little bit.
	I wanted some hard information.
	Give me one thing.
	Give me something else that's going to happen.
	Okay.
	This is a sure thing.
	Within six months to a year from, I'll say during 2001, and it will be before the end of that year, there will be certain documents that will be released that will verify several of the things that I have already revealed in past shows.
	Like what?
	Well, for example, they will reveal certain, how should I put it, interconnectedness between international banks.
	We know they're interconnected.
	Yeah, but they're interconnected at a level that is unseen.
	In other words, everyone... You mean something bigger than the Federal Reserve systems?
	Oh, yeah.
	It is called the City of London Enregistment Bank.
	And it is off the record.
	No one knows of its existence.
	And I'm not even supposed to tell about it, but I can because the Supreme Commandant has told me to reveal these things.
	All right, Stephen.
	Well, listen, I appreciate the update.
	So it sounds like the British still have been, always have been, and still are running things.
	I don't think I buy that, Steve.
	We're very rebellious here.
	At least we were.
	We'd never let the British run things.
	The British are okay, but have you ever heard their radio, for example?
	Do you know what they have on the radio over there?
	Gardening shows!
	It's like The most exciting thing that you can hear in Britain, if you're a Brit, is a show about gardening.
	My God, they take those shows seriously.
	Now, how could a country like this take over the U.S.?
	Come on.
	Or have some secret control over us?
	I'm more worried about their begonias.
	Well, to the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Oh, hi Art.
	My name's Quincy.
	I'm calling from Portland.
	Yes, Quincy.
	Can I say hi to someone on the Internet?
	No, you're not supposed to, but if you do, it leaks out and I can't do anything about it.
	Okay.
	Well, um, anyway, I was just calling about the, uh, the November 7th date.
	Hmm.
	Um, what, uh, what happened?
	Or what was supposed to happen?
	We died, Quincy.
	What happened is, some giant things impacted Earth.
	And we all died.
	Now, uh, some extraterrestrial beings, knowing this was going to occur, have created something called the Matrix.
	Yes.
	And so, while we're all dead, we think we're alive, walking around just like we were before November 7th, when in fact, we're all dead.
	Well, I feel pretty healthy for a dead guy, but I'll tell you... It's the Matrix.
	Yes.
	Are you going to have Richard back on soon to address that?
	Well, he did address it.
	He said the 7th was only the beginning of a window.
	Now, originally, the internet rumors, and I said a million times, that's all they are, said something would happen on the 7th.
	So, I was pulling your leg.
	For the topic, it's countdown to splat, and it says zero plus three days, so we're three days overdue.
	I think zero plus three days means Y2K plus about three days.
	Okay.
	That's what I think.
	All right.
	Well, thanks a lot, Art.
	All right.
	Take care.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Hi.
	Hello.
	Hello.
	Is this the Art Bell Show?
	Yes, it is.
	Yeah, I was calling to point out a couple facts that the maneuvers for the Egyptian flight are very similar to evasive action.
	Yeah, I agree.
	I mean, to suddenly lose altitude like that, evasive because of safety, like they lost pressurization, or evasive because of some sort of attack Yeah, and there's a second thing that you might want to look into.
	What?
	Pick up a CD recording of Mike and Mechanic's Silent Runner.
	You'll find a carrier wave signal interlaced underneath the lyrics in the music.
	And?
	It's a release code for a hypnotic lock.
	Ah, in other words, People who have been given post-hypnotic suggestions to act and do something when the signal is heard?
	No, it's released from memories so that they can act accordingly.
	What will they do?
	Basically defend our country.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	Did you hear what I read just a little while ago about two of our ten divisions not ready to fight a major war?
	Yeah.
	Are you aware that there are two brigades of special forces that have been patrolling bad times for two years now?
	In Fort Benning, Georgia.
	And they've been doing what for two years?
	Been drawing bad time.
	What do you mean bad time?
	None of their enlistment time is coming off the terms of enlistment.
	They are confined to barracks.
	It's anybody's guess how many of them are in there.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	No, I didn't know that.
	What does that mean to you?
	What does it mean to me?
	Yeah, or us.
	Well, unless there's a specialized headcount, there's probably SOG teams out running around.
	Well, when I was in the Air Force, you counted the days until you were going to be out, or re-enlisted, whatever the case would be.
	I mean, you actually did a day countdown.
	So, I would think these guys would be really bitchin'.
	Unhappy.
	Not necessarily.
	They're looking at mission requirements, and it's a way to hide them.
	Alright.
	Well, I'll tell ya, on my line sound like they're secret people tonight, don't they?
	We will be right back.
	No, I would not give you false hope on this strange and mournful day
	But the mother and child we knew and loved is only a motion away
	Oh, and it's not for my I could spend all the life I have to live to remember a
	Saturday I know they say let be
	But it just don't work out that way And the course of a lifetime runs
	Over and over again And the course of a lifetime runs
	Over and over again And the course of a lifetime runs
	Over and over again www.LRCgenerator.com
	Find a better job tomorrow morning Got a little something I wanna do
	Gonna buy myself a Latin-action ride in I'll take my girl get her Latin-action drive in
	I wanna be written down in history Just like a rodeo in New Zealand
	To reach Artville in the Kingdom of Nigh from west of the Rocky's Dialed Line.
	East of the Rockies, 1-800-825-5033.
	First-time callers may recharge at 1-775-727-1222.
	1-800-825-5033.
	First time callers may rechart at 1-775-727-1222 or use the wildcard line at 1-775-727-1295.
	To rechart on the toll free international line, call your AT&T operator and have them dial 800-893-0903.
	This is Coast to Coast AM with Art Bell on the Premier Radio Networks.
	It certainly is, and as I've told you before, and I'm going to tell you again, if you want to reach me email-wise, it's artbell at mindspring.com.
	And this is just so fast and easy, I'm there, and you should be too.
	You can be.
	They've got every advantage in the world.
	Everybody around, J.D.
	Bauer and Associates, very well respected, has just rated MindSpring number one in overall customer satisfaction.
	That means more of you are satisfied with them than anybody else.
	Pretty good, huh?
	They've got this great offer.
	You buy one month of service and they give you two months free.
	Can't beat that.
	They've got the Spaminator, they've got nice people, they've got 56k connections, and they've got the deal.
	You pay one month, they give you two.
	Who else has that?
	So.
	Call them.
	At 1-888-677-7464.
	You can do it right now.
	eight six seven seven seventy four sixty four you do it right now one eighty
	eight six seven seven seven four six four
	here's a cal who writes from rochester minnesota hair why hasn't the ntsb or f a required the implementation
	of something better than black boxes
	Thank you for your attention.
	Well, I don't know what that would be.
	The black boxes are designed to do two things.
	Record electronically the last seconds of recordable material, you know, like if an airplane blows up or whatever happens to it.
	And the cockpit voice recorder should tell us what the pilots or co-pilots were saying.
	And I don't know what would be better than that.
	It's hard to imagine what could be better than that.
	Because anything else in an emergency situation, like a satellite link or something, is going to be lost, I would think.
	Maybe not.
	Maybe they could have a series of satellites That would consistently monitor cockpit voice transmissions or some other something from an aircraft that would transmit final data or emergency data.
	I don't know.
	Maybe there is something better than a black box.
	We need to think about that.
	On my government agent line, you are on the air.
	Oh, good morning, Art, from Northern Virginia.
	Northern Virginia?
	Oh, that would be where there'd be another number, actually, of government agents.
	Well, indeed, and in fact, I've traveled around the world, and so far, as far as the conspiracies go, I cannot see any way where any type of interagency conspiracy could possibly manifest itself, and it's just nearly impossible for the cooperation You're referring, I take it, to my earlier callers who are suggesting that some sort of new world order through an emergency like Y2K or whatever is going to be foisted off on us and there will be U.N.
	troops all over the place.
	Well, certainly.
	And you pointed out some... Well, that's because I read the Internet.
	So I know what they're talking about.
	Okay.
	Well, the problem is this would be an excellent forum, but it's so hard to authenticate the people that are calling in that are claiming to be federal agents or...
	But you really are a federal aide.
	I really am, and not only am I, I think I could probably help you in authenticating and screening some of the callers with two questions, probably per caller, which would open the lines for legitimate... Okay.
	Good.
	Let's have them.
	Federal caller.
	Well, bring the people in, and I'll ask them a couple of questions, and we'll see if they're authentic.
	Well, you're on that line, so I can't.
	So give me the ammo.
	What do I ask them?
	There's a few key things that you could ask them, but obviously you have to catch them off guard.
	I would ask them things like when you first came into whatever agency, what pay grade did you start at?
	And we'd be looking for a certain title or a certain couple of letters and numbers that I would be able to recognize.
	I would ask them about their computer logins and the rules involved with that.
	Various questions about some of the facilities and the security procedures that only an insider would know.
	Can you tell us what agency you perform your duties for?
	I work for DIA as an analyst.
	I'm a very low-level government employee, but I am privy to a lot of information and I know that... That's a drug enforcement agency.
	No, no, no.
	Defense Intelligence.
	Oh, Defense Intelligence.
	I'm sorry.
	Right.
	That was a trick question.
	Oh, I see.
	You're authenticating me.
	I was trying.
	Yeah, but I enjoy my work, and I certainly have never run across any type of conspiracy within our agency, and I can't see how, why would, for example, now the CIA, I don't know what goes on with those people.
	Well, you're a good one then to ask about this story coming out.
	CNN's running it.
	And it says that two of our ten divisions are unprepared to fight a major war.
	To me, that seemed like a big story.
	Well, it is a big story.
	I don't have any inside information on it, and you know as well as I do most of the time, most of the media is legitimate, and we can take most of the stories, as long as you're able to independently verify some of what they're saying, you can take them to be accurate.
	Boy, is that what you believe?
	That is truly what I believe.
	I truly believe most of the media is full of crap.
	Well, I think that if you're reading a story and you were there, as anyone can attest to the fact that if they ever witnessed an accident and saw the article in the newspaper, they had it all wrong.
	That's what I mean.
	But in general, the main idea of the story is generally correct.
	You know, I don't know about that.
	Most of the media in this country takes what's off the wire, the Associated Press or whatever else, and reads that, and takes that as gospel.
	And I'm not getting down on the AP, the UPI, Reuters, all of the major news distribution services are pretty much the same.
	I mean, you're taking their word for it.
	Well, that's right.
	Not only am I, you know, the media in general, I mean, the media is huge.
	It includes everybody from every country.
	But that is a major source of information for any intelligence analyst.
	We don't have, there's not people that are running around like in the James Bond films that are having human intelligence contacts with everybody in the field.
	You have to rely on guys like Matt Drudge, other internet sites.
	You have to rely on these wire stories, and in general, the main picture is true, and it's very easy to independently verify any story.
	Doesn't matter if it's in the heart of Iran, or somewhere here in Washington, D.C.
	You do sound like a government agent.
	Well, Art, I certainly am, and I can indeed send you an email to authenticate, and I also, off the air, I can give you The exact name of my office and you can call the published number and that will indeed verify I am who I say I am.
	No, I'm believing it.
	Now, what about earlier today, I realize this may be above your head, but our president said, basically, that the savings and the safety of the American people, with regard to Y2K, are going to be okay.
	No problems, said he.
	You know, I have no true knowledge.
	I just have my own opinion.
	You know, we're talking about the media.
	The president's own council on Y2K said that 50% of the 911 systems are not going to be ready.
	Now, if that doesn't fall into the safety category, where would you put it?
	Well, it may fall in the safety category, but will it be a complete failure of 911?
	Probably not.
	It may have something to do with the automatic number identification system.
	Yeah, I mean, but what if half of them fail?
	I mean, that's pretty serious, I think.
	It would be a very serious problem, but these problems are occurring now anyway.
	I don't think they're going to be directly Y2K related.
	That's just my opinion.
	I really have no basis for that other than I'm confident in the system and the administrators of the system.
	You believe that our government has our best interests in mind?
	Not necessarily at all times, no.
	Oh?
	Oh?
	Especially certain agencies that are trying to be run like private industries and they put their hand out and basically can request whatever from whomever.
	But as far as, on the local scale, your police department?
	Yeah, well... What kind of conspiracy could they possibly have to where your 911 information wouldn't come up on the screen?
	I don't think it's a conspiracy.
	I think there would simply be a A glitch?
	You think it's just negligence on the government's part?
	Because if so, you probably know as well as I do, there's very little cooperation between local governments and state governments and the federal government.
	Well, even among government agencies, the DIA, the FBI, the CIA, the NSA people, they all... We're not in the business of losing information.
	Banks aren't in the business of losing money.
	The power companies aren't in the business of losing power.
	Right.
	And I think everyone is pretty much that.
	Maybe in the third world we're going to have some problems, but whenever people start talking about Y2K and specific problems related to computers, I will say, well, what was the problem that you did identify before you upgraded your software, before you corrected the glitch?
	Most people have no idea.
	Well... I mean, what was the problem?
	What did you foresee as being a problem?
	The problem is going to be the unforeseen.
	But you have to be able to see something before you can go in and make any kind of corrections in the code.
	I agree.
	And so hopefully we don't get past January 1st or the first working day and everybody goes, oh my god, now I see.
	I'll tell you a little bit, maybe some of the hype actually is spreading because I was thinking to myself, you know, I certainly wouldn't want to be deployed in a ship somewhere in the middle of nowhere, just in case.
	And you're a government worker.
	Yes, indeed.
	All right.
	Well, that's just my personal opinion.
	It doesn't reflect any facts that I have based on the government.
	I was out in 1999.
	Well, it's a hell of a lot more honest, in my opinion, than what our president said earlier.
	Well, maybe.
	He's probably getting the same information that's going across the Internet and what's going across your desk.
	And I know that you, as an individual, are very privy to information, because I've heard you... Yes, I am.
	You're like Michener and all the others that have this information that they couldn't possibly get from anywhere except for the right place.
	Well, if our president is gleaning his information on which to make decisions from the Internet, we're in deep doo-doo.
	Well, even if...
	He was able to see total failure.
	He still wouldn't admit it.
	He probably goes into a chat room and solicits opinions before... Yeah, probably.
	All right, sir.
	I appreciate your call.
	Thank you very much.
	I think that was, indeed, a government worker.
	He sounded just like a government worker, didn't he?
	D.I.A.
	Boy, I bet he could tell some stories.
	He thinks I can.
	Wildcard Line, you're on the air.
	Hello, Art.
	This is Larry in Fort Lauderdale.
	How are you doing?
	Okay, Larry.
	You brought up the 9-1-1 system a lot this evening, and I just wanted to add a little bit to what the last caller said.
	As you know, that system is basically just a computer, and it's sort of got a lot of defaults to it, to where if it loses the date, loses the time, and things like that, it will still pass calls.
	It may not... Listen, there are some things... I worked in a 9-1-1 system in Monterey, so I know.
	Now, you think about this.
	What if you cannot For example, call an appropriate fire station.
	Well, what happens is if it doesn't come in on the 911 system, it defaults to a regular seven-digit number.
	And you lose what is known as the ANI information.
	Probably when you worked at it, you only had the phone number.
	But yeah.
	No, no, no.
	But I'm talking about dispatch responsibilities.
	If the software that allows you to hit the fire button and dispatch appropriately doesn't work, or electronic controls
	or data information going to police cars is no longer flowing, what happens?
	We've got a really big problem.
	Right, but I think that from what I got from your news report, they were talking about strictly the 911 PSAPs, the Public Safety Answering Positions, and you're right.
	If you hit that little button to transfer to a secondary agency, usually it goes on 911 first, which is You know, radio control lines, and then if it doesn't do it, it dials a seven-digit number.
	Now, granted, if that fails, as you know, you use ingenuity.
	You simply pass the call, you know, through other means, relaying it yourself without having to... Yeah, but there would be a potential gigantic logjam.
	Now, the only thing I was saying, the only thing I was saying is, for the President to say that our savings and our safety are taken care of, And then while his own committee is saying half, 50%, are not compliant, 9-1-1 systems, to me, that definitely falls in the category of safety.
	Well, what's scarier about all that is, wouldn't you think that before they cleared his speech, someone would have said, wait a minute, we're in conflict with something else that came out of our office here a few days earlier.
	Yeah, I would think that.
	That bothers me, I think, more than the substance of what he said.
	But see, I imagine a conversation that says, Well, look, we can't say that, right?
	Right.
	We don't want to panic anybody, so we're going to make a general statement that the savings and the safety of the American people are assured.
	Well, your updated forecast tonight of what you think might happen is what I've been saying all along, and I think that that is what's going to happen.
	I think almost nothing at the stroke of midnight, except maybe a few pranksters here and there, but come Monday morning, Come the mid-size or the smaller size companies that say, add a heck with it, we'll take the ostrich approach or deal with it when it happens.
	That's right.
	They're going to be dealing with it.
	The minute that they do date computations, there will be a problem.
	I know.
	One little tip I found, and I don't have the dates right here, is this.
	Everyone says, well, you might be able to buy some time by backing things up to 19.
	I believe it was 72.
	And you and I both know that very few computers will go back that far.
	But there are closer dates, I believe, and I'm not sure, I think it's 1996 or 1994, that you could use up until February 28th.
	I'll give you the same day of the week.
	February 29th is a no-go.
	There's nothing going back to 72 that has that same day of the week.
	But beginning on March 1st, You can then again use another date that's just a few years back.
	Now what that would do is buy you some time and give you the correct day of the week.
	It will not give you date computations between years.
	Okay, that worries me and the fact that power companies are waiting to see what is going to happen with regard to the embedded chip problem.
	Well, that's scary if they're waiting to see something that they don't already know.
	That tells you their level of knowledge of their own grid system and probably some of the people who even design that are retired.
	Huh.
	Well, they're going to get some really good offers.
	Well, I hope I'm going to be... I'll tell you, that night I want to listen to your show because...
	For one thing, you have touch with basically the whole world calling in, and I think that the news will be more real-time coming from you.
	Oh, it will.
	And we're coming on the air at 7 o'clock Pacific.
	I'm going to do an 8-hour radio program.
	I can speak for myself, and a lot of my friends will be right here with you.
	All right.
	Thanks a lot.
	9 hours.
	Oh, you're welcome.
	See, that's 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 hours.
	That will be, without a doubt, a marathon.
	On my government agent line, you're on the air.
	Yeah, I'm a first-time caller, and my father's an employee of, well, an off-employee of Groomlike.
	Area 51?
	Yeah, on the old maps.
	It's now just part of Nellis.
	It's actually a Pasadena inside of Nellis.
	Well, a rose by any other name.
	Yeah, that's true.
	What does your dad tell you?
	My father is, well, You are probably aware that McDonnell Douglas was bought by Boeing.
	And he works with the private contracting side.
	He is currently in a new job there at Boeing in St.
	Louis as their direct military contact for propulsion.
	Now in June of this year, they buried Well, they shelved a project that they had been working on out there.
	That project was... It was about a five-year project, and they shelved that project due to the fact that they couldn't get it to work, and Boeing decided that McDonnell Douglas had been spending too much money on it.
	What was the project?
	I cannot tell you in fact that I know what that is.
	I do know that my father's specialty is propulsion and stealth technology and propulsion.
	And I know that there's already a stealth fighter, but there is not currently a stealth hypersonic spy craft.
	The, uh, let's see, uh, the skunk works at Lockheed has been working on the one that I can't remember what they're
	called.
	Has your father ever mentioned working on antigravitic technology?
	Uh, I do not know that name.
	I know that currently they are... Antigravity, sir.
	Antigravity.
	No.
	No.
	Alright, thank you.
	We're going to have to leave here.
	The Big C is next.
	George Carlin's coming up.
	He's done with his duties at Ballet.
	We're going to talk with George for a little while.
	It should be stimulating.
	stay right there the
	the the
	the Call Art Bell in the Kingdom of Nye from west of the Rockies
	at 1-800-618-8255, east of the Rockies 1-800-825-5033.
	First time callers may reach Art at 1-800-618-8255.
	And the wildcard line is open at 1-775-727-1295.
	To recharge on the toll-free international line, call your AT&T operator and have them dial 800-893-0903.
	This is Coast to Coast AM with Art Bell from the Kingdom of Nine.
	on the toll-free international line, call your AT&T operator and have them dial 800-893-0903.
	Wow!
	This is Coast to Coast AM with Art Bell from the Kingdom of Nine.
	Wow! That was close. The people at Ballet are very protective, as they ought to be by
	the way, of George Carlin.
	So getting through to him was really close, like within seconds here.
	But I think that we have done it.
	So, coming up in a moment, the big C. George Carlin.
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	Well, normally I read some sort of bio on my guests, but if you don't know who George Carlin is, then...
	What can I tell you?
	Everybody knows who George Carlin is.
	And he just finished a show at Ballet, so here he is, George Carlin.
	Hi, George.
	Hello, Ron.
	How are you?
	Quite well, thank you.
	You cut it kind of closely on your show.
	Oh man, I'll tell you.
	I call ballets, and they are very protective of you, George.
	I got a lady who said, well, I can't do that.
	Let me get my supervisor.
	Really?
	Yeah, they should get a supervisor.
	Well, we don't know if we can do that.
	We'll have to screen that call.
	Oh yeah.
	Then I finally got through.
	Well, they screen out folks, except for folks like you are.
	Folks like you can always get through.
	By the way, reversing the aging.
	Ten years, ten weeks.
	Yeah.
	How about if I... I'm 62, which is 17 Celsius.
	How about if I take that stuff for 63 weeks?
	Will I be a fetus?
	You might be.
	I've often thought that people, that it's all backwards, that we should not get older and more decrepit going slowly away, but it should be reversed.
	Well, it'd be great if you just wound up, well, actually you kind of do go downhill again anyway, some of us, you know?
	Well, you do, but it's not as though you're being enlightened more.
	You know, you might stare at a flower, but you don't get the same thing out of it as a child would.
	And concerning the five to ten pounds of toxic matter in my intestinal tract, We all have that.
	Are you a meat eater?
	I'm over 60 pounds in my tracks.
	I have some more in my pockets.
	Are you a meat eater?
	No sir, I will eat some breast of chicken meat, turkey kind of things and occasional fish.
	Because they tell me that beef eaters have like 5 or 10 pounds or 20 pounds of beef.
	Undigested beef.
	It's an ugly thought.
	And their bodies smell like it.
	I don't mean to be disgusting.
	I just mean that they have a kind of a body odor that's really, I think, more noticeable.
	Beefy.
	Yes.
	Why do you do what you do?
	Well, some of it is genetic and I have instincts and skills, you know, or some people call them gifts when they talk about their own talents.
	I think of it as skills.
	My mother and father were both very funny people conversationally.
	My dad was an after-dinner speaker.
	I didn't know him.
	He was asked to leave early.
	He apparently couldn't metabolize ethanol very well.
	He was shown the door early.
	But they were both very funny.
	My mother, who I did have in my life as a youngster, My mother could come home from work riding the bus in New York City and she could tell you a story that something happened on the bus and she could do three or four voices of the people and she'd improve everything they said and she'd always have a punchline, a great punchline.
	So there's a genetic strain and particularly I think the Irish have a gift to that and so I have pretty much, I couldn't help but I found that it got me a lot of attention and approval as a youngster.
	I lived kind of a lonesome life.
	Which I enjoyed.
	What about school?
	I mean, were you like that in school?
	Because I had seen a lot of trouble.
	Oh, sure.
	I was a class clown, as they say.
	In fact, I had an album by that title at one time that did very well for me.
	And yeah, my attitude in school was that as long as I wasn't going to get an education, why should these other children get one?
	I don't know if that was my attitude, but I did that too.
	I constantly asked irrelevant questions.
	Oh, yes, or in my case, a Catholic school, pointed questions.
	Pointed questions.
	If God is so powerful, can he make a rock that he himself can't lift?
	They used to love me.
	Yeah, that's a terrible question.
	There's another one you asked.
	Something about if God were to take acid, would he see people?
	Wow, that's nice.
	I love switches like that.
	Simple humor switches.
	I never thought of that one.
	No?
	No, that wasn't mine.
	I wonder if he would, though.
	He'd probably see only the finest people.
	You talk a lot about God.
	Do you really believe in God?
	No, no, I don't.
	I talk about him as an object in our culture.
	You don't think there's a God?
	I can't believe that there's a man in the sky keeping score who watches everything we do and has a little scorecard.
	It just seems... There might be a kind of an organizing intelligence.
	Somehow the universe seems to have an order to it.
	But I don't know that it's a judgmental or one that really gives a crap.
	Yeah, the fear God thing.
	I don't buy into that.
	I think it's very limiting.
	Believe in God is a form of mental illness.
	It's a very limiting form of... The intellect, the wonderful intellect that nature has given us, I use the word nature, has given us is compromised by surrendering things to the will of God.
	You know, that we don't have any say.
	Well, it didn't happen.
	My prayer didn't come true.
	It must be God's will, and that relieves you of responsibility.
	I don't believe that.
	But you think there is something.
	In other words, there is some sort of order, and that means there has to be something, right?
	Well, I wouldn't say I think it.
	I'd say it would not surprise me.
	You know, I'm a questioner, and I'm in some ways credulous, too, and it just seems, though, as if That there is a kind of order that we can't explain that is beyond our ken.
	How can we ever expect as this lowly clay that rose to this level to understand something that beyond?
	I'd rather just stand here and wonder and not try to put a name on it.
	Do you wonder about after you die?
	Whether there will be anything or nothing?
	Well, I do wonder about that.
	And I also wonder why there isn't just nothing now.
	Why are there things at all?
	Why do we have matter?
	Why is there anything?
	I used to sit in school.
	That was one of the things that got me in trouble in school, sitting there daydreaming.
	So that goes back to God, see?
	Yeah.
	Well, it can.
	It's a wonderful thing that we have these minds and we can consider this.
	These things.
	This stuff.
	But it can drive you a little crazy, Art.
	There's a gazillion things I could think to ask you about today.
	The President came out today and said that Y2K is not going to be a problem.
	And then his own committee said that half of the 9-1-1 systems in the U.S.
	are not compliant.
	And the President said our savings and our safety are intact.
	No problem.
	Well, the 9-1-1 thing is great because that's where the guns are.
	Those are the people with the guns.
	They're trying to corral, and people who get shot and hurt.
	I root for big problems all the time.
	I root for disasters.
	I root, actually, for the end of all of this, because I think it's an interesting scenario for things to wind down.
	I think we're already circling the drain as a species, and I love to see the circles get a little faster and a little shorter.
	So you're rooting for disasters?
	I do, sort of, just for my entertainment.
	It's a very selfish thing.
	But I sort of root that... I mean, I love an earthquake.
	I love a bigger earthquake.
	They're never as big as I'd like.
	Have you ever been in one?
	Yeah, well, they're not very big.
	I was in two of those California ones.
	The one in the early seventies, and then the one that we had here, I don't know, what, ten years ago?
	Eight something?
	You're just over the hill in Las Vegas.
	Let me tell you, we had a pretty damn good one.
	Seven point whatever it was.
	Just a couple, three weeks ago, whatever.
	No, we need a 25.
	I think of it as an amusement park ride.
	It's really, I mean, it's such a wonderful thing to realize you have absolutely no control.
	And to see the dresser move across the bedroom floor unassisted, it just, to me, it's a very exciting thing.
	And I'll tell you the truth, I never got scared in either quake I was in.
	I did cover my wife with my body, kind of an instinctive thing.
	I rolled over on the bed and kind of covered her.
	I thought the ceiling might fall in or something.
	Our daughter ran in.
	Kelly ran in.
	This was the one in the early seventies.
	She was about nine or ten.
	But I honestly felt, gee, disappointed when it was over, that it wasn't bigger.
	I looked out and there wasn't enough destruction.
	I really think there's great human drama.
	in destruction and in nature unleashed and and I don't get enough of it.
	George, a 25 would turn entire continents over.
	Ah, now you're talking.
	You know what we never have either is a really good big tidal wave.
	Can you imagine the tsunami we would have out of a 25?
	Oh yeah, there would be nothing left.
	I know.
	It's just wonderful to consider.
	Well, there are scientists, by the way, who do consider that every now and then there is a complete extinction.
	Everything goes, and everything begins again.
	Well, you know, if you're talking about 65 million years ago with the reptiles and all... That'd be one.
	A possible random achievement that we could attain to have one of those fellas hit us.
	And I read once, by the way I was very disappointed that the bolide didn't hit on June 30th.
	I want you to know I listen as often as I can Art, it's not regular, but it's probably two or three times a month.
	So you were hoping for it?
	I was hoping that the bolide would be on time, and then I was hoping when it didn't show up on June 30th that at least Nostradamus would be correct.
	With July 6th, and then that didn't happen, and I wondered what Father Charlie Moore was going to tell the people, because he was quite, you know, specific.
	But I would like to see, and I want it to happen a little east of me, so that the prevailing winds carry the destruction around a little bit late, and I can watch some of it on CNN.
	I want to see the cities go out one at a time.
	London, Moscow, Tokyo, and then catch up to me.
	You know, I'm having a little fun with this, but I honestly must tell you that I do enjoy big disasters, and I always hope that they're going to be a little bit bigger.
	Well, the only reason for that could be that you have more or less given up on the human race.
	The problem is, when you scratch a cynic, you find a disappointed idealist underneath.
	And I will cop out to that.
	I'm sure there's some flame burning dimly in me that would like to see everything work.
	But it doesn't look like that is what is in the cards.
	If we had another maybe 1,000 or 10,000 years to evolve, and we got past this stuff of national borders with 168 countries, or whatever it is, and 2,000 or 5,000 languages, or whatever it is, And all of these rivalries, we could have a chance.
	Now you see, I had callers just before you came on who were talking about this.
	They're in great fear of it.
	They talk about the New World Order.
	They're talking about UN troops coming in and taking over the U.S.
	and the world and all of that.
	Well, you know something?
	When you're stuck in local time, that is when your mind, your thoughts, your parameters are stuck in local time, You see things on a small level, on a limited basis.
	But I think that if there is ever to be a golden age of this species, a true golden age, it will not include borders in 168 countries in 2,000 or 5,000 languages, whatever the real count is these days.
	It will not include those things.
	This is a very young, prunitive species.
	The fact that our technology has raced eons ahead of us It is interesting, and it gives us a lot of toys and things, but we're still very close to who we were 10,000 years ago.
	It's a drop in the bucket of time.
	So in other words, you look at current social behavior, and it's not that much above caveman level.
	Well, I think the veneer is very thin.
	I mean, I think there's... So do I. Yeah, barbarism is less than a generation away.
	I really think that.
	I don't mean it's coming.
	I mean, under certain circumstances, it could be less than a generation away.
	The Mad Max thing?
	Yes.
	The roving bands of maniacs, I call them.
	The various roving bands of maniacs.
	There'll be all different kinds.
	There'll be the ones that got out of the insane asylums, the ones that got out of the prisons.
	Then there'll be my people, the Scotch-Irish, who'll be wandering across the land Looking for things to drink and your sister.
	They want to find your sister.
	There'll be all manner of people running around.
	Well, it could happen.
	Incidentally, let me just move you a little bit.
	You're in Las Vegas right now.
	Yes, sir.
	I've lived in and around Las Vegas for the last, I don't know, 15 years.
	Right.
	It has really changed.
	Every time somebody gets a bug, they blow up a building and put up a new one.
	Yes.
	What do you think of Las Vegas now?
	Well, I'm kind of separate from this culture here.
	The one good thing, and I'll get back to the basic part of your question, the one good thing these days here is that there are really a lot of first class restaurants now.
	There might be 20 to 30 restaurants where you can really count on the food.
	But this is what it shows itself to be.
	I work in theaters primarily.
	I do about 100 or 120 theaters and concert halls a year.
	Most of them are about 2,500 seaters, and that is my general career, along with my HBO shows.
	I come here about 10 or 12 weeks a year to give a little rest to those markets.
	I'm usually going to Seattle and Miami and Pittsburgh, and you have to rest them a little bit.
	You can't be going back every year.
	So I can earn a little money here.
	And I can stay in one place for two or three weeks at a time.
	I don't have to pack every day.
	I can write.
	So that's my reason for being here.
	And that's the only reason I can tolerate it, because it does something for me.
	It's different.
	I'm not a schmoozer.
	I'm not a hangout guy.
	I never hung out with show business people.
	I don't know many of them.
	I don't have a lot of industry friends.
	I have a small circle of friends.
	Most of them are unrelated to show business.
	So here I'm a kind of alien.
	There's a topic for us.
	I'm a kind of alien.
	Do you find you withdraw more and more and more?
	Oh, yes.
	And I don't know if it's a function of age or intellect.
	You know, all of our intellect, it is to be hoped, sharpened a little bit with age and we get our perceptions a little clearer and what it is we need from the world clearer.
	But in my case, I can say it's happened that way.
	And I find that I'm in love now.
	Well, let me put it this way.
	Let me bring you back just a few years.
	I had a wonderful marriage with my wife, Brenda, for 35, 36 years.
	Well, we were together about 37 years.
	Brenda died about two years ago, and now I've fallen in love with Sally, and we are kind of separate from the world.
	We have our own little circle of about three people.
	I love that.
	I really don't like the entanglements because a lot of people are just jagged down with
	their agendas and their things that are on their minds and what they're concerned with.
	They seem to have a lot of frivolous things they care about, and I don't care for all that worldly stuff.
	Well, there's a problem with celebrity, and I've had a real problem dealing with that, George.
	You never really exactly know why people Want to be your friend.
	And unfortunately, a lot of times it has to do with your celebrity.
	So it's tough.
	It's really tough.
	Well, unfortunately, I don't even, I never really, that circle of my radar is very acute.
	And I don't, there aren't many people who get past that circle who, if they're just really trying to suck up or be sycophantic or look for something, I mean, that, they don't even get past the first ring.
	But there are people who, you can tell the difference between a genuine compliment and an artificial one.
	Still, there is a big price to pay for being famous, isn't there?
	There is.
	And at the same time, may I point out, because I'm a pretty positive, but all that stuff I said about disasters and the end of the world... Well, hold on to the positive part.
	We'll get to that right after the break.
	Bigger the disaster, the better.
	Hoping for a 25... What a 25 earthquake would be, it would be... Well, there would be no America.
	Europe.
	Japan.
	The Orient.
	All gone.
	African continent.
	Everything would go underwater.
	You wouldn't be watching anything on CNN.
	Nothing.
	Because they wouldn't be there.
	Because there'd be no Atlanta.
	george carlisle here will be right back the
	the the
	the the
	the If man is still alive, if woman can survive, they may find.
	In the year 3535, he's gonna need to tell the truth, tell no lies.
	Everything you think, do and say is in the pill you took today.
	Wanna take a ride?
	Call Art Bell from west of the Rockies at 1-800-618-8255.
	East of the Rockies, 1-800-825-5033.
	1-800-825-5033.
	First time callers may reach out at 1-775-727-1222.
	The wildcard line is open at 1-800-825-5033.
	at 1-775-727-1295.
	And to call out on the toll-free international line, call your AT&T operator and have them dial 800-893-0903.
	♪ 65, 65, ain't gonna need no husband, won't need no wife.
	You pick your son, pick your daughter too.
	From the bottom of a long black dude, roll her on the floor.
	After that, we're wondering if God is still there and if he's coming back.
	you you
	Once again, here is George Carlin.
	Actually, I've always read disaster books, gone to disaster movies, and I think most people, even though they don't admit it, are just like George, the bigger the disaster.
	The better.
	You know it.
	So, I think a lot of people are like that.
	They don't admit it.
	No, there are a lot of things like that that they don't admit.
	But I understand that.
	They think they have to live up to something.
	Anyway, you do have some positive outlook about something, right?
	You know, you're right, but I can't remember what I was segwaying from.
	What was the last negative thing we were on?
	The reason I said it was a positive thought.
	Because I can make something up.
	If you've lost it, it couldn't have been too profound.
	Well, it was a profound connection, but I lost the connection.
	We'll see if we can get back to it.
	I note on your HBO specials that you now, you do a lot of politics.
	Well, I call them social issues rather than, because politics to me means Democrat, Republican, and I don't do much of that.
	You know, I don't do a lot of topical stuff, but I do do things that are timely, you know, race, And love and war and hate and those kind of things.
	But it's not partisan.
	I don't talk about, you know, specific people.
	Speaking of war, you know, there's a big headline today that the U.S.
	Army, two of its, it says two of our divisions, and we only have ten, are not prepared should there be a war.
	Well, good.
	It'll be more fun.
	I just wish I could figure that connection out.
	Damn, I'm mad at myself.
	Well, that's alright.
	It'll come back to you.
	In the meantime, there's plenty of negative things we can cover.
	Absolutely.
	But let me just try and make a pass at the positive things.
	I wanted to say this much.
	I don't believe very much in groups.
	I don't like what I call the clotting of human beings.
	I really love individuals as I meet them one at a time.
	Even a kind of an inane person or someone who's kind of goofy or is even kind of bad news, there's something interesting.
	Like a guy who just raped his dog is at least interesting.
	You look in his eyes and you kind of see something there.
	But it's the group.
	It's when they begin to surrender the beauty of the human individual mind to a group mind and group thought, suddenly they start having little hats, little sayings and, you know, passwords.
	And they have a list of things they're going to do and they have fight songs and team jackets and things and I think they lose the beauty.
	Of individual humanity, which I believe in.
	I think we're a magnificent species.
	Are you not, though, somewhat in contradiction with yourself, though?
	Because you earlier said that until we erase the borders, the nationalism, all the rest of it... Well, once you've done all that, you've got a bunch of people that are holding hands and, you know, talking about love and that's it.
	Well, maybe not.
	Maybe we're destined to do that.
	I mean, I can't sketch out the exact outcome that I would like.
	What I would love to see is that we get beyond these things that limit the human mind now.
	I think we put restrictions on ourselves with these boundaries,
	not just political boundaries, but intellectual boundaries.
	I would love to see a completely anarchistic human race, where everybody really gets to pursue everything they would
	like to.
	I don't know how that would ever work.
	We might need ten million years.
	I don't think it's in the cards.
	I think we're a cursed species.
	I think we're a chemical accident.
	And I don't think there's any hope for us.
	The other thing, the other part of me is just a wish part.
	That's just, oh, wouldn't it be nice?
	Wouldn't it be great?
	I don't believe it really can happen.
	A chemical accident.
	We crawled, in other words, way back when out of some mud puddle or the ocean to become what we are now.
	Some catalytic agent took the ingredients and put them together and it's probably happened in a million or ten million or ten billion other places in the universe.
	And, uh, it's just, it's all just an accident.
	The interesting thing... Well, but if man evolved from monkeys and apes, then why do we still have monkeys and apes?
	Ah, you see?
	You got the good questions, I got the bad answers.
	I mean, that really is a good question.
	If things evolved... But they evolved to the left and to the right, not always in a straight line.
	I mean, there are branches.
	Obviously there are, what, 400 different... I don't know how many species of mammals.
	uh... and they all came after the reptiles uh...
	were destroyed by this presumed comet or asteroid sixty five million years ago
	the ferret there was something like a ferret like animal i believe is about the
	largest mammal and then we've we've arisen since from that point out into
	separate directions left and right and forward
	But some of these species hit a dead end, and some don't.
	Some of them are viable.
	The chimpanzee, the ape, the great apes are viable.
	But there aren't many primates.
	That's true.
	I'll tell you something you can think about, disaster-wise.
	This is a good one.
	A lot of scientists now, Israeli scientists, really bright guys, think that It was not a big bolide that killed off all the dinosaurs.
	They think that the sun went through a cyclical time and threw this immense radiation suddenly.
	And we now know stars do that.
	Every now and then, what is a stable star will throw this immense radiation and virtually sterilize every living thing on the planet.
	Does that explain the iridium level?
	It might!
	Well, I haven't read that at all.
	I'd love to read more about that.
	Well, it could happen.
	And then, in the blink of an eye, I mean literally, instantly, all life would cease.
	Yeah.
	Microbial life, everything.
	Would this allow for a good fossil record to be left?
	Because I don't know how the fossil record that we have matches that scenario as well as it might match the one... Well, we might be future fuel.
	Whether we'd be anything more than that, I don't know.
	Yeah, okay.
	Fertilizer.
	Listen, put me down for that one too, okay?
	I don't mind whatever it is.
	If it destroys a lot of life, I'm a happy guy.
	Well, look, there are a lot of environmental things going on right now that have that potential.
	I mean, you know, the Arctic is, the Antarctic is melting the ice.
	The seas would go up 20 feet.
	Yeah, I forget if it's the eastern or the western ice shelf or whatever that might break off if it does.
	That's right.
	It's wonderful because you have all new beachfront property.
	About here, actually.
	That's not bad.
	No, I just think it's stimulating to entertain these possibilities, and I really don't understand people who run around wringing their hands and saying, oh, wouldn't it be awful?
	Oh, this is terrible.
	I think, hey, you're here for the ride.
	This is an adventure.
	I call it my entertainment.
	The file in my computer on all of this stuff is called my entertainment.
	Philosophers have said for, I don't know, millennia, they've said, why are we here?
	And I'll tell you why I'm here.
	I'm here for the show.
	I want to see a good show while I'm here.
	And if it includes giving my life for the sake of entertainment, I'll go.
	I'll go.
	This is such a short-term deal.
	Well, then you're about to be really happy.
	A happy camper.
	Because I think between now and the spring of 2000, a lot of stuff is going to come down.
	Let me ask you to clarify, but first let me tell you what I'm wondering myself.
	Because you're probably, and I'm sure you are, better informed on this issue than I am.
	Well, I don't know about that.
	Well, I have a smattering of information and speculation from people who have agendas, you know.
	My feeling is that probably a lot of the larger, major systems, at least in this country, have been that the correction will take, or they will have fairly simple corrections to come down the line.
	But I think there would be a lot of random You know, like the sewers will back up in one place, and the power will go out in another place, and this will overflow there, and that will go out here, and there'll be randomized checkerboard patterns.
	That's right.
	And therefore, somewhat chaotic, but maybe containable.
	I'm just wondering where that line is after which it really begins to send us back a hundred years.
	Well, I'll tell you where.
	If it would happen.
	Now, I don't know that it's going to, but we do know that there are hundreds of thousands of embedded chips.
	Now, that's not software.
	Embedded chips in power companies across America.
	If the power were to go off for two weeks or a month, then at some point, irreversible things would begin to happen.
	Well, sure, yeah.
	Embedded.
	Now, I understand the idea, because there are embedded chips in cars and coffee makers, etc., etc.
	You're talking about major systems?
	Yes, switching systems.
	Power company things.
	Now, the power companies have obviously done what they can about those non-embedded portions of the program.
	That's correct, yeah, sure.
	But you're saying that they're not telling us that there's a lot of stuff they just have to cross their fingers on?
	Well, we know there is, and they know it too.
	That's why they're buying generators, huh?
	Well, listen, I've got a really nice generator here, and I didn't get worried until my power company came in and said, Would you tell us, can we take a look at your generator system?
	We have a lot of customers asking about it.
	I said, sure.
	I said, let's trade a little bit of information.
	You tell me what kind of state you really think we're in.
	I want the real bottom line.
	Right.
	And what they told me was, well, We are prepared to leave the grid if we have to.
	If we see things going south, we will disconnect from the grid and provide local power for, I think he said, up to six weeks.
	Wow.
	And all power companies are bound, you know, they sign something that swears they'll stay on the grid.
	But all the power companies really, you know, they're going to take care of their local customers if things begin to go south.
	Right, right.
	One little power company in Idaho went down a few years ago, and the whole western third of the U.S.
	and Canada and Mexico, they all went off!
	Yeah.
	So, if one little power company can do that, what's going to happen if 10% of them fail?
	Yeah.
	It's nice to consider.
	I'm not even prepared, Art.
	You know, I have a few cans of spaghetti, we have a couple of books of matches, and we feel we're going to be okay.
	But, you know, I'm along for the ride, and if I die, hey, it's okay with me, as long as things get really messed up.
	I just like the idea that I can turn... well, maybe I can't turn on the news.
	I guess I could have one of those wind-up radios you have.
	And I can listen to that, and I can hear how bad it is.
	See, I don't care.
	You see, I'm just a person who doesn't care about these things.
	I really don't care.
	I know that when things like an earthquake, like I say, when the amusement park ride is out of your control, you have to just hold on and enjoy the ride.
	And I know that that is a possibility, as you say, between now and the spring.
	I'm just hoping that a lot of overseas, a lot of other countries get really chaotic.
	They're going to get hammered.
	Yeah.
	I had a guy who called me who said that He's looking around at everything that's happening on Earth right now, environmentally, and every other way you can imagine, socially, of kids killing kids, all the rest of it.
	And he's saying, you know, Mother Earth is mad.
	And she's going to do something.
	And I said, no, Mother Earth doesn't get mad, she gets even.
	And that's what I think.
	I think if things get out of balance, that there'll be a return to balance.
	And that return to balance might mean a 25.
	Yeah.
	Right?
	Yeah, but like you say, a 25 and we don't get to enjoy it.
	Maybe something like a 12.
	We can enjoy it.
	Well, I just rode out a 7 here a few weeks ago and I don't care to do that at all.
	It was horrible.
	How far is Pahrump from Las Vegas?
	65 miles west.
	I didn't realize it was that far.
	I can look to the east and the entire sky is lit up with a glow of all the lights from Las Vegas.
	Yeah, the light dome.
	Well, I'm over here under the light dome, Art.
	And I can see Jupiter.
	At least I can see Jupiter.
	That's my favorite object in the sky.
	Well, you get 65 miles away from that city, and you will see stars.
	You'll see the Milky Way from one side all the way to the other side of the horizon.
	Well, I drive home from here every time I leave here.
	And I leave here four or five times a year.
	And I drive back to Los Angeles.
	And I always stop a couple of times out in the middle of everywhere.
	And take a good look.
	I do know about the names of about 65 stars.
	I have to be up to snuff on them.
	Sometimes I get a little rusty and I probably drop down to 40 or so.
	But I love the sky.
	I love... I call it my backyard.
	I think of it as something unchanging that I can find it from Cleveland.
	I can find it from Manila.
	And it's regular and predictable and I know my stars and I know my constellations.
	So I love it, and I know what you mean when you refer to that Milky Way.
	Have you ever seen anything in that great sky that you cannot explain?
	No.
	You know, I'm a little disappointed in what we'll call the world of the paranormal, or the extra-normal, or whatever is a proper way to phrase it.
	I kind of root for and I wish for a sighting, a visitation, an experience.
	of a ghost, or an afterlife, or a previous life, or something.
	I've never had any of them.
	I have a fairly good intellect, and I'm very open to these things.
	I have my skepticism.
	I have that part.
	I do respect science and repeatable scientific experiments.
	Are you really open to these things, though, or are you more of a control freak?
	I'd have to say I don't know the answer to that.
	In other words, if something happened, are you more likely to mentally reject it or embrace it?
	Oh no, I would be open to it.
	At least that's my opinion standing here now.
	I can't tell you what would happen under a given circumstance, but my feeling is, my knowledge of myself is such that I feel I would say, oh please, come on down here, let's talk.
	Can I have a shirt like that?
	Let me have one of those funny hats.
	I mean, I'm being a little flip here, but I know that I am open and willing to experience some of this because I think there is so much unexplained and so much potential beyond this limited human experience and this spectrum that we can perceive, this limited visual spectrum and audio spectrum that we That we perceive.
	I think there's just much more, and I wish my radar were better.
	Do you think that it's more likely that we are a product of the God of the Bible we talked about earlier, or perhaps intervention by others?
	Well, I think very strongly that that is the probability.
	I think there's a leap, and I'm not up on this as much as I was at one time when my reading was a little more intense, but I think there's a gap.
	There's a leap in human intellectual attainment that is unexplained, and I do believe it is probable that we are a hybrid of some kind.
	The book, Sitkin's book, of the Twelfth Planet, I found that very Stimulating and potentially believable.
	Well, he postulates we were all a bunch of gold diggers.
	Yes, that's right.
	And that planet will come back, and you have to wonder what those who created with us would... I mean, look at California, for example.
	Now, this may be a little light-hearted, but when I was young, it was the coolest thing to go to California.
	And I did.
	I got up, and I left, and I went to California.
	And it was great.
	Today, when I go to California, I am appalled I am absolutely appalled.
	I mean, what has happened to that golden state, that once great place to go to, it is regulated to death, taxed to death.
	It's a disaster.
	It's a social disaster.
	I mean, you can go and spend a little time in a lot of cities in California, and you can count the muzzle flashes, you know.
	Yes.
	And it's just ugly.
	It's ugly to the eye.
	From the air, from the ground.
	There are too many humans to begin with everywhere.
	There are certainly too many of them packed into the population centers of California.
	I live in Southern California.
	The one thing I can say that I have good about my existence there is I live in Venice, down on those little canals, and I hear the ducks every night or in the middle of the morning, and at least I'm close to the ocean, and I'm a little bit away from the sound of traffic.
	And it's like a small oasis, but I agree with you, and I think it's true of most everywhere.
	Too many people, too much acquisition of goods, too many people hunting money and position and possessions.
	Everyone wants a salad shooter.
	Everyone wants a pair of sneakers with lights in them.
	Everyone wants a shirt with the number of some foolish basketball player on the back of it.
	And we've been bought off.
	We've been bought off with all these gadgets and toys.
	Two things I think that happened to this species that are irreversible and that destroyed us are the belief in a man in the sky, that's the sky god as Gore Vidal calls him, the belief in the sky god who keeps a scorecard on us and has a burning pit of hell for some of us, and the other is the pursuit of goods, commerce, rampant consumerism.
	The next HBO show I do is called The Great American Cattle Drive.
	But the American cattle are not being prepared for market in order to be sold.
	They're there for buying.
	They're there to do the buying.
	Get them to the mall.
	Get these suckers to the mall.
	Put them on the internet.
	Get them buying from e-commerce.
	Get them in the mall.
	It's just repulsive and disgusting.
	And it's one of the reasons I quit this species.
	It's one of the reasons I backed off and said, wait a minute.
	That's you over there, folks.
	This is me over here.
	I'll go my way.
	And if it costs me something, fine.
	I'll pay whatever price it is.
	Well, you're rich.
	I mean, you could quit now and never work another day in your life, right?
	Well, there's a caveat there.
	Oh, really?
	Well, I spent 20 years with the IRS trying to recover from a bad old tax bill that I had that got worse and worse with penalties and interest.
	And a little bit worse at the beginning of this cycle with adding, they disallowed a few other things that I had tried to claim, which weren't horrendously, you know, they weren't really out of line.
	They were invested.
	Millions and millions, huh?
	Well, they were sufficient that the penalties and interest, I had a lien on my house for 20 years until I sold it about six months ago.
	and uh... and paid them off and that's finally over so i have i heard well you have always had good earning
	power i've been blessed with the ability
	and the energy i had a few heart attacks along the way but that's the only thing
	i've had energy and creativity and i've grown in my art so that i can earn well and i can continue to earn now and
	i can save a little and keep a little this money now but i'm not
	sitting on a big pile somewhere i so you're telling me you really couldn't
	quit right now well i could quit but i wouldn't
	live the way i do now uh... it'll take me another two or three years maybe or
	five years to uh...
	to do that you know and say okay everything's working for me
	That's consumerism, George.
	George, hold on.
	We'll be right back.
	This should fit right in.
	I see trouble on the way.
	You've got to listen to the words here, folks.
	I see earthquakes and lightning.
	I see bad times today.
	Bigger and bigger ones.
	bigger and bigger ones.
	Don't go around tonight, but if you finally take your life,
	there's a bad moon on the rise.
	I know the end is coming soon.
	I hear hurricanes a-blowing.
	I know the end is coming soon.
	I know the end is coming soon.
	Where are those happy days they seem so hard to find?
	The End.
	I tried to reach for you but you have lost your mind.
	Whatever happened to our love?
	I wish I understood.
	It used to be so nice, it used to be so good.
	So when you're near me darling, can't you hear me? It's the way
	The love you gave me nothing has been saving me in the way.
	To reach Art Bell in the Kingdom of Nigh, from West of the Rockies, dial 1-9-1.
	East of the Rockies, 1-800-825-5033.
	1-800-825-5033.
	First time callers may reach out at 1-775-727-1222 or use the wildcard line at 1-775-727-1295.
	To recharge on the toll-free international line, call your AT&T operator and have them dial 800-893-0903.
	This is Coast to Coast AM with Art Bell on the Premier Radio Network.
	Indeed so.
	George Carlin is here and he'll be right back.
	so we'll uh...
	will get right to it one of those crank radios that george mentioned is the beijing
	free play radio Now, this is called hedging your bets time if something bad is going to happen.
	There's two things you're going to want to have immediately.
	One, information so you can go, wow, that's really bad.
	Listen to what's happening out there.
	From George's point of view.
	Or, you might want light.
	And the Bajan with a light gives you both.
	It's a wonderful, wonderful invention.
	It's a light-emitting diode array that'll last for 100,000 hours, and a magnetic light plugs into the back of the radio.
	Now, every time you turn the crank on this radio, you get 30 minutes of vital, or entertaining, information about a disaster.
	And light!
	So, you gotta have one on a shelf somewhere.
	They used to be $149.95, and they will be again soon, right now.
	You can get a Bay Jen with a light, Christmas cometh, for $119.95.
	Consuming Christmas.
	$119.95.
	That's really a good price.
	If you want one, call Bob Crane in the morning at 1-800-522-8863.
	1-800-522-8863.
	Now, if you want food, if you are storing food... Now, the President earlier today... No, not the President.
	That's wrong.
	CNN said, well, you can get rid of those stockpiles and get rid of your Y2K bunker and everything will be fine because the President said so.
	If you believe him, if you don't and you want to be prudent like Mr. Bush, then you might want to order some storable food.
	The J. Michael Stevens Group has the best storable food in the whole world.
	If you're in Canada, we've got a 2,000 people waiting list and you can now, you're about to get instructions on how to order.
	That's been in the works.
	The number is 1-800-377-0700 if you're in the U.S.
	And you've been thinking about it, you better act because in about two weeks, the Canadians are going to take away
	all our food.
	Call 1-800-377-0700.
	1-800-377-0700.
	In a moment, George Carlin returns.
	Now, here is, I'm sure, something positive we can talk about, George.
	Somebody sends the facts, and they're really right.
	They say even the most cynical person, frequently, and you're in that position now, would have some words to say about love.
	I mean, obviously you're newly in love, and you're plunging, tumbling right into it again, and so you must feel pretty positive about that.
	The only things that I really believe in, because I don't believe in my country, I don't believe in religion and God and the institutions that man has made, I don't believe in commerce, but I believe in friendship, romantic love, and family, of course, which is bound in friendship.
	Yes, I believe heartily, and that goes back to my affection for individual existence and individuals and the life of the soul person.
	It's as I say, when they begin to get into numbers larger than four or five, even sometimes a group of two will alter how a person is.
	You know, you heard a woman will say, well, Mike's not the same when he's with those guys.
	Or the guy will say, well, now that he's got married, he's a different guy.
	People surrender something.
	That's why when a good love affair comes along, when a great love happens, it's because The two people don't have to surrender too much of themselves to make a new unit.
	And that's what I'm lucky enough to think I have found.
	And I agree with that fact, Senator.
	All right.
	Now, on another subject, you were railing about consumerism.
	You said you've got something coming up on that soon.
	Right.
	And yet, and you were talking about beautiful Venice, but Venice, California, it's in California, and Venice is the very center of Glitz, glamour, and consumerism.
	I mean, the very center in the world, if you have to pick a place other than maybe where you are right now.
	You mean Venice, California, Los Angeles?
	Yeah!
	Well, I mean, Los Angeles generally.
	Well, okay, fine.
	Now, that I agree to.
	I agree with.
	Let me point something out, and this might take me a minute or two.
	Alright.
	I have often confronted, well, originally I confronted it for myself, but I've been confronted with the idea of, you know, when does one sell out?
	When have you sold out?
	And I have a problem with people who try to make that a black or white issue.
	To me, the idea of compromise or adjustment is on a scale.
	It's on a continuum.
	The purest person in the world would have to live in the woods and eat bark and make his own clothing to be truly pure.
	I mean, even Ted Kaczynski, who hated technology, Used a typewriter to type his manifesto.
	Absolutely.
	And he rode buses, the interstate bus system, to go to a post office to mail the United States government, to mail his bombs, which were also a form of crude technology.
	And certainly no one would say, well, Ted's a sellout.
	So these things exist on a scale, a sliding scale, and each person must decide how much of an adjustment or compromise, if you will, They are going to make, in order to do the thing that's important to them, in order to continue to be the person they want to be.
	And I have to sell tickets.
	I have to sell CDs.
	I have to be in the commercial world.
	I talked about my IRS problem.
	That's only because I earned big.
	So I'm not pure.
	I don't say that that's my scene.
	My scene is that I try to keep as much of my of my values intact as I can and still exist in this world and not be some sort of a martyr when everyone else is running around taking care of their selves.
	Did you ever read Kaczynski's manifesto?
	No, I started to.
	He actually had a lot of good points.
	Well, of course!
	You know, I happen to admire people like that, to tell you the truth.
	I know that the taking of human life to some people is not a good thing, but I don't think we've made human life very Very valuable in this culture we've evolved.
	and i think uh... i think there's a place for people who decide to take
	life uh... in order to make a point i was a little like we got i
	i think that there was a guy on tv and i can remember the special i saw but it
	was a you know one of these l a gang members
	and he looked right into the screen and he said
	i don't give a damn whether i live or die yeah so you can imagine how i feel about you
	oh wow it's very very true i mean this culture
	has uh... degraded all of us to some degree or another and all you can try to
	do is to cling to some little portions of yourself and i mean self with
	almost like with a capital s
	uh... that are very important and that define you uh... and let the rest
	That's why I take pleasure in the disasters and in the troubles.
	And let me say something about the millennium thing, the Y2K, and what you spoke so directly to before.
	I think it's kind of wonderful that the arrogance of this species is what will bring it down.
	If it goes as badly as you say, and if it really sends us back several decades or centuries or whatever to some level of barbarism, I think it's kind of interesting and ironic and poetic and literary that the fact that we have this admiration for triple zero For round numbers, and for a false calculation to start with.
	Never mind that we're a year off, because people are so ignorant that they think the millennium begins with the two, and not ends with the zero.
	But beyond that, this is all because a monk, as you know, and you're aware of all of this, Dionysius, Dennis the Short was his name, in I think the seventh, let me see, I have notes on this here, Let me get it exactly right.
	What happened was, Dennis the Small, or Dennis the Little, Dionysius Exiguus, Dionysius the Short, he was commissioned by Pope John I in 525.
	He was a 6th century Scythian monk.
	He was told to standardize the liturgical calendar, and he did not include a year zero between 1 BC and 1 AD.
	So on December 31st, You know, we're welcoming in the last year of the preceding thousand years, not the new millennium.
	That's the obvious part.
	But on top of that, there is confusion about when Christ was born, because this is all based on one figure, his birth date, and Luke places the birth of Jesus while Quirinius was governor of Syria, which included Judea.
	But historians know that Quirinius was not appointed governor until AD 6 or AD 7.
	So they don't know if they're four years off, six years off, seven years off.
	It's all a miscalculation, and if it really destroys civilization, it's a wonderful thing that an arrogant species can bring itself low by its own calculations.
	Ah, and even though it's wrong.
	Hubris.
	Hubris.
	Yeah, that would be something.
	And I think we're fully capable of it.
	Oh, yeah.
	So, listen.
	Censorship.
	Yeah.
	When you first started your career, I think the first album you had had some kind of warning label on it.
	This record contains seven words you can never say on television or radio, whatever it was.
	Right.
	Anyway, is there anything left today?
	Is there any censorship left today?
	Do you deal with that when you go on HBO?
	Are there things that they say?
	No.
	Really?
	No.
	First of all, I own all of my own record albums.
	and masters i have made eighteen records i own them all i own all my twelve hbo
	shows i've had a very good uh... solid career that sustained very well and i own
	all of these things uh... i am an independent contractor and i'd make it a show
	hpl gives me a little advanced or not so little actually
	and i make a show and when i deliver that show they give me the rest of the
	money you know my Sure.
	And it's a licensing thing, and then they run it for 18 times if they want, and then I keep it.
	But they never say a word?
	I have not since 1977, when I began with them 12 shows ago.
	They have never said a word to me, and I swear to you that's the truth.
	And that's one of the things that saved me.
	I had an album career, and by the way, before I get off tonight, Art, I do want to plug my CD box set, and I'll tell you about that later.
	But I had an album career in the 70s where I had six albums, and four of them went gold.
	You referred to one of them, the Class Clown album, had the seven words you can never say on TV.
	The next album after that, Occupation Fool, had a sequel called Filthy Words, and that's the one that went to the Supreme Court.
	I'm the only comedian who ever had one of his routines as the subject of a Supreme Court case.
	And in 1978 they decided, five to four, that those seven words I said were indecent.
	It wasn't an obscenity case.
	But it was called, they created a whole new category of filth just for me.
	And I was kind of, I am perversely proud of that.
	I'm a footnote in American legal history.
	But I then, when my album career kind of, you know, you can't be the hot new guy in town forever.
	So that kind of faded in 76, 77.
	And along came HBO, and I had another medium, such as albums are, where I was uninterrupted by commercials, and I was uncensored by someone looking over my shoulder.
	On an album, you put out whatever you want, and on an HBO show, I do whatever I want, and that took my career, which was in the middle of a crossroads, and really pushed it to a high status, and I've done 12 of those shows.
	I average one every... I'm sorry, I've done 11.
	I keep thinking about the next one.
	But I've done 11 of them, and in 22 years now, I've done 11, and that's every two years.
	How do you feel about the cross from doing albums to television?
	That's a big jump.
	Well, all during my album career, and before that, when I had an earlier surge of popularity as a straight kind of a stand-up, you know, suit and tie, short hair, I had a wonderful career in the 60s of being what you'd call a mainstream comedian.
	I did all the big variety shows.
	I did 25 Merv Griffin's and about 30 Mike Douglas's.
	I think so.
	Ed Sullivan. So I had a career before my hair got long and I got more personal with my comedy.
	But I always did television and all I ever wanted from TV, there are two ways I do television.
	One is to go on Letterman or go on the Leno Show and in exchange for my coming on, just
	like any movie star or any kind of actress or band leader, I come on and I give them
	a little marquee value and they give me a chance to plug whatever I'm plugging. So that's
	That's one way of doing television.
	And in those cases, I don't try to change their rules.
	I'm not there to be controversial.
	I'm there for a commercial bargain on striking.
	So you save the controversy for the albums or the HBOs?
	Yeah, HBO is my real art.
	You know, and I refer to it as art, even though that's your first name, Art.
	I know it sounds pretentious sometimes for a comedian to use the word art.
	It is entertainment first.
	But there's an artistic process on.
	It's a writing job.
	And you are interpreting the world through your own prism.
	So that's an artistic process.
	And I go to HBO just to show pictures of what I do.
	It's really essentially nothing but my theater act shown in your home.
	The same way a baseball game is.
	A baseball game happens in the stadium, but they show them at home unchanged.
	That's what I do for HBO.
	Do people write stuff for you?
	Never.
	All your own stuff?
	Only time I've ever had anything written was when I would be on a variety show in the 60s and they would write a sketch that I was in.
	Anything I ever uttered as my own has always been written by me.
	That's my pride!
	Oh yeah.
	That I've written everything and that I don't need help.
	This is a self-contained unit.
	Do you ever wonder, and I ask a lot of famous people about this, because Ted Turner once said on a Pinnacle Show, I saw him, and he said, you know, having all this money, having everything, the CNN, the whole thing that I've got, he said, at the end of the day, it's all kind of an empty bag.
	That's what he said.
	It's kind of an empty bag.
	He's got so much money, so much everything, it doesn't mean much to him anymore.
	It's an empty bag.
	Well, that sounds as if As if he doesn't get much joy from the process that he's in.
	I'm assuming he didn't think to mention that part.
	No, I consider myself lucky and privileged to have been able to use my natural gifts in a way that satisfied me, doing it all on my own terms and being rewarded for it, not just with money but with this Oh, that's the positive thing I was going to say a long time back.
	Here's what it is.
	I get to have, even though I was kind of a lonesome kid and I love my lonership and I love being alone in the world, and Sally and I love being a little small unit separated from the rest, but you know something?
	When I go into an airport or a restaurant or a hotel lobby, I have people who say nice things to me.
	Who say, I saw you in 1971, I saw you in 1965, oh my sister used to, she loved you, she passed away last year and she just had your book next to her.
	All of these strange stories about how you touched people's lives, and I think of it as an extended family, for whom I don't have to buy Christmas gifts.
	They like me, I like them one at a time as I meet them, but it's a wonderful gift to have, and it's part of that paradox.
	Like I say, the cynic is really a disappointed idealist.
	Well, the loner is longing to belong to something.
	Somewhere in him there's the need to belong and be accepted, at least in my case.
	And I get a little of that.
	I get a lot of it.
	But kind of afraid, too, at the same time, right?
	Yes, that's right.
	I don't want to be ruled by the other, but I like knowing that I've touched them and that they care about me.
	If we could have a one world something or another that would be, you know, kind of like this country.
	Workable and viable.
	That would be alright.
	You've done a lot of travel.
	You've been to Russia, I bet.
	You've been to China.
	I've been to both those places fairly recently.
	And let me tell you, they'd have shot you a long time ago.
	Listen, this is the best thing we've come up with.
	I admit that.
	It's a grudging admittance because I like having my little attitudes, you know.
	Well, I'm not dishonest, and this is the best we've done, the best we've come up with.
	I just wish that the ability to refine it and to make it better were more viable, were more available to us.
	It seems as though there are a lot of, and a lot of it is that money, that political money, the interest to control things, and that's the way it is.
	You know, when they talk about conspiracies, and one of the things I enjoy on your show is when people talk about The government, and I'm talking about your guests, who talk about whether or not the government and certain agencies and certain aspects of government have covered things up.
	And I always, I have thought for a long time, not always obviously, but that, you know, they've tried to make it so that the belief in the conspiracy makes you somehow outside the norm, that you're a kook.
	That you're a conspiracy buff.
	They say he's a conspiracy buff.
	George, they lie their asses off.
	I know it.
	I wrote a little something out, and I want to read it to you, because I pulled this paper up from the other room.
	I have some notes I haven't filed yet.
	And I said, well, if this comes up, I'd like to be able to say this to Art.
	So let me just read this to you.
	Go ahead.
	And it goes like this.
	Do I believe in conspiracies?
	Nah.
	Do I believe powerful people would get together and plan for certain outcomes?
	Nah.
	Do I believe powerful interests would operate outside the law and maybe even kill people?
	Nah.
	Do I believe secret government agencies might feel the need to assassinate a person and cover it up?
	Nah.
	I think everything in America is open and clean and above board and powerful people always play by the rules.
	I don't know.
	That's my thought.
	Yeah, well you should have been on my government agent line.
	I had a government agent line open earlier.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	You know, my biggest sadness is that I do go to sleep.
	Not my biggest sadness.
	Listen to this hyperbole.
	God, I'm going to slap myself.
	One of my disappointments is that I don't get to hear you every night all the way through.
	And that I don't get to hear you every night.
	I do go to sleep a little bit early.
	Down here in Las Vegas, I do go to sleep late.
	But I'm usually writing at night and working on my computer.
	Okay, then listen to me.
	Tomorrow night... Have you ever heard of Ed Dames?
	He's a remote viewer.
	But you know, we spent $20 million on a remote viewing program in the government.
	You've had him on before, haven't you?
	That's right.
	They call him Dr. Doom.
	Okay.
	And that's for good reason.
	Because... I'll tell you why.
	Hold on.
	We'll do a plug for you when we get back and do a final segment here.
	You promised me two hours.
	We're certainly well into that.
	George Carlin is my guest.
	We'll be right back.
	That's right.
	Tomorrow night, by the way, Ed Daines will be here.
	Dr. Doom.
	And they are always wild programs.
	So if you're into pending disaster, you're going to want to be here tomorrow night.
	Believe me.
	I'm not going to let you go.
	This song perfectly describes that short guy George was talking about a little while ago.
	Call Art Bell in the Kingdom of Nye from west of the Rockies at 1-800-618-8255.
	East of the Rockies 1-800-825-5033.
	First time callers may reach Art at 1-775-727-1222.
	East of the Rockies, 1-800-825-5033.
	First time callers may reach out at 1-775-727-1222.
	And the wildcard line is open at 1-775-727-1295.
	To reach out on the toll free international line, call your AT&T operator and have them
	dial 800-893-0903.
	This is Coast to Coast AM with Art Bell from the Kingdom of Nine.
	And right now, George Carlin is my guest.
	He'll be back in a moment, and we're going to do the big payoff here, the plug, so you don't want to miss that.
	Stay right where you are.
	All right, here we go again, and George, I know you do have something coming out, something new, something people can get soon.
	What is it?
	Yeah, by the way, this makes a wonderful first communion gift.
	Oh?
	Yes.
	Now, this is the box set.
	The albums I talked about earlier from the 1970s, we took all six of them and put them in a CD box set.
	Oh, my God.
	And not many comedians have a box set, I'm happy to say.
	This is all six albums from the 70s plus a bonus album.
	Got to have a bonus, Art.
	Sure.
	Got to have a free extra added complimentary bonus gift album for no cost to you.
	This is 70 minutes of things no one has ever heard of mine.
	So it's like a new album within the box set.
	All stuff from that era that didn't make the albums then, because at that time LPs only accommodated about 45 minutes of spoken word.
	So we always had some things I had to leave out and it always bothered me, but I've taken them all, put them together, put them in the Bonus CD.
	And here's the really interesting part.
	You know, a box set is a fan's purchase.
	This is not a general consumer item.
	People don't go spend 80 bucks on a comedian's box set.
	But if they're fans, if they're really crazed, they care about these things.
	And in this bonus CD, on it, are some recordings I made as a child.
	Before tape recorders were very common.
	In fact, they were only sold in showrooms at the time, not even in consumer stores.
	I was lucky enough, my mother bought me a tape recorder when I graduated from grammar school in 1951.
	But it was as big as a Buick art.
	So you were how old?
	I was, at that time, 14.
	Just turned 14.
	So this is material from when you were 14?
	It's before that.
	It's when I was 12.
	Because before I had my tape recorder, I had to go to those little booths.
	Remember those little booths?
	Yep.
	In the arcades, you put in a quarter, and for a minute, they'd record your voice, and they'd give you a little acetate record.
	That's right.
	Oh, yes, I remember.
	Well, I made eight of them when I was about 12 years old, and I've kept them all these years, and we put them on this CD.
	It's just like hearing a prototype of what I wound up doing later.
	It's all these little routines and comedy impressions and newscasts and sports things.
	And you can hear my old New York accent.
	I say, good evening, this is George Collin with the news.
	And it warms my heart.
	And I think a fan might be interested in it.
	There are six of those little records on there.
	Oh, that's neat.
	Yeah.
	And so the album, it's just my box set.
	They don't have to know the name of it.
	It happens to be called The Little David Years.
	But asking for it by my name is enough.
	And I just want people who care about my stuff, because I know those fans exist.
	Uh, to have access to this, and like I say, a wonderful first communion gift.
	Yeah, right.
	Alright, so these are available like in record stores, or is there an 800 number or something?
	No, they're available, Atlantic Records has been in my distributor forever.
	My label is called Ear Drum, but I'm distributed by Atlantic Records, and this is in all the stores.
	All right.
	So, it's there now?
	Yes, it is.
	Already there now?
	Yeah.
	That's quite a project.
	So, really, you always knew... You were always who you are now.
	You're just sort of a progression of what you were.
	That's right.
	When I was 11 years old in fifth grade, they said... We wrote little autobiographies.
	I think 11 is a good year for that.
	And the last page was, what do you want to be?
	What about your future?
	And I still know mine.
	I still have it, actually.
	I have the little piece of paper.
	It says, I want to be an actor, comedian, impersonator, disc jockey, radio announcer, or trumpet player.
	I always knew what I wanted, and I planned my life.
	When I was about 14 or 15, I planned how I would go about it.
	I'd become a disc jockey, and then that would get me into comedy.
	Is that what you did?
	You mean I followed the plan?
	In other words, did you become a disc jockey?
	Yes, I got into disc jockeying when I was 19.
	I was in the Air Force down in Shreveport, Louisiana.
	I was on the number one station in the nine station market.
	I had a 52 share, Art.
	52 share?
	A 52 share in a nine station market.
	That's really incredible.
	And I was 19 years old.
	It was a daytime station, 1,000 watts.
	It was called KJOE, K-J-O in Shreveport.
	And being a daytime station, we had to get our listeners back again every morning, you know.
	They wander away at night.
	That's right.
	So it was a good station, and I had a very lucky Childhood, I got to plan my own life and live it out, and I consider myself a very lucky man.
	And I've worked hard for it, too, but that's genetic.
	You know, working hard is not something you decide.
	It's something that comes to you because you kind of feel like you ought to do it.
	I always knew, too, exactly what I was going to do.
	Radio all the way, and I've done that all my life.
	But there are so many people out there who are, I don't know, they have no idea what they want to do.
	You talk to the kids and, I don't know, Well, I don't have an overriding interest or an overriding talent or an overriding goal or art form that, you know, kind of drives them, something that takes you over.
	I was going to say drive.
	Yeah, something that takes you over and says, this is it, buddy.
	It's actually, it's almost like, it's a drive that's almost more than drive.
	It's madness almost.
	Yeah, I think it has a lot to do with genetics.
	I mean, I honestly think They're finding out, of course, the more they map this human genome and start to isolate some of these genes, and some of it's oversimplified, I know, but I think they're finding, and I've always said that it's mostly genetic.
	There's a good amount of environmental, I mean, there's a lot of nurture, but boy, nature is really in charge.
	How old did you say you were?
	I'm now 62.
	I'll be 63 in May.
	You know, I have the world's experts at longevity on the program, doctors.
	And they are telling me, honestly, if you can hang on for another 30 years, there's every probability we can give you immortality.
	Well, I know about some of those projections.
	I don't know them in such a detailed fashion as I'm sure you do.
	You're kind of on the edge here.
	It's funny that you say 30 years, because I have predicted for myself to live to 94.
	Really?
	Yes, I've always said that's my goal, and I know that the brain... I learned something as a teenager, that the brain... I read a book called Cyber... God, now I can't think of the name of it.
	Psychocybernetics.
	And it said that the brain is a goal-seeking It's a problem-solving mechanism, and if you put in a problem and a goal, the brain will do everything it can to get there.
	I put 94 years in there once because my great-uncle, Uncle Martin, he was 94 and he was doing push-ups in my kitchen when I was a kid.
	I said, 94 sounds good, and I know the kind of work that people like Linus Pauling and Philip Johnson and a number of other people have done in their 90s.
	And as long as I have my faculties, I expect to have this kind of energy and drive and stamina until then.
	And boy, it would be nice if they came and gave me that immortality test.
	They're not just talking about immortality.
	They're talking about taking you back to your prime and stopping the aging process.
	I don't know if that would be good, actually.
	Well, I know, but you know what?
	It would be worth an experiment.
	Well, if you were one of the ones.
	Think of the alternative.
	That's right.
	Alright, look, I do have a radio show.
	Can I put a couple of callers on with you?
	Oh, I'd love that.
	By the way, I have a website called georgecarlin.com.
	It's a really nice, well-engineered website and again I speak mostly to fans.
	I'm not trying to sell myself to the general public.
	I have a nice little percentage of the population that likes me and I want them to know I have a great website called georgecarlin.com.
	Well, if we don't have a link, we will within minutes.
	Oh, thank you.
	All right.
	First time caller on the line, you're on the air with George Carlin.
	Hello.
	Hello, George.
	How are you?
	Two questions, if I may.
	What's your name, sir?
	Where am I, Los Angeles?
	No, I mean your name, sir.
	Oh, Zan?
	Zan!
	Short for Alexander.
	Okay, Zan, nice to talk to you.
	Sometimes they say it's an old Martian name, but... Doesn't sound bad to me.
	Yeah, well, their question is, have you read, I know you're talking about we being a product of some accident, have you read books by, like Darwin's Black Box by a biologist who believes that that idea of random evolution is not Scientifically viable?
	You mean the combination of punctuated equilibrium and natural selection is not viable?
	The whole Darwinian combination?
	Well, yeah, the idea of the process of it being accidental.
	Well, no sir, obviously I haven't read it, and I admit to being poorly read.
	I'm usually wasting my time writing rather than reading.
	But I will have a tape of this show, and I will have a reference.
	I can write it down at another time and look for it.
	I do enjoy that sort of reading.
	Well, he just wanted to sort of infect you with the possibility that it's not all random, that there really is the God that you talk about that isn't there.
	But is he judgmental?
	Well, we didn't get that far with that.
	I would say there'd be a strong possibility of it, yes.
	Yeah, I mean, you'd be surprised.
	Zosanna Connery.
	Okay.
	Wild Card Line, you're on the air with George Carlin and Art Bell.
	Good morning.
	Hello.
	Hi.
	Good morning to both of you guys.
	Hi, where are you, sir?
	I am in Michigan, and my name is Joe.
	Hi, Joe.
	How are you doing?
	Pretty good.
	Yeah, I figured I'd call in and ask you what you thought about all the basically the horrors in U.S.
	history, blue laws, everything that restricts personal liberty, the government killing people, basically the bad side of U.S.
	history that's never really exposed to a great deal to the mass public.
	I'm sympathetic to what you're saying, and my own knowledge of it goes so far as maybe to have read some Howard Zinn and to have read some of that part of history.
	I've often said when they talk about, you know, there are people who say that we've had a loss of civility in this country, that there's been this breakdown in manners and civility, and I say, well, what civility would that be?
	Would that be the genocide of the Indians?
	Would that be slavery?
	Would that be the Hiroshima or the Nagasaki civility?
	Which civility do we mean?
	I think this country has a lot to answer for.
	A lot to answer for.
	Tuskegee.
	Pardon me?
	Tuskegee?
	Yes, well, you can go on and on.
	Hazel O'Leary, our own Energy Secretary, walking out incredibly just a couple of years ago and saying, we fed plutonium to kids and pregnant women and stuff like that.
	Oh, and these stories are legion.
	I mean, the list is getting longer and longer.
	And if you just think about the labor violence in the 1930s, you know, in the name of commerce, in the name of big business, it is a terrible, Well, yeah it is.
	standard record and i have always said when people review the flag of always
	said you have to
	uh... look at that flag for everything it stands for not just what you perceive
	to be heroic and and perhaps good things
	but everything it's ever stood for and the record is more than just next
	yet is and uh... you know it i remember when i was young and uh... i'm not that that
	much younger than you are
	i remember when the federal bureau of investigation will come out that
	come on television you'd be like
	we've caught so-and-so it was like the word of gold I mean, the FBI came on, man, you believed every word they said.
	Today, if the FBI says something, you almost automatically disbelieve it.
	Absolutely.
	I think, and I think it is a good thing.
	There are people who decry this, you know, that this loss of trust in our leaders, in our government.
	Well, the record is there, and I think it's a good thing.
	And if it's going to require some bloodshed someday to get it right, because I honestly believe, you know what I like about Assassination Arc?
	It shoots the hell out of those popularity polls.
	Those polls, he's up to 70% now.
	All of a sudden, BING!
	He's not even in the poll anymore.
	I'm not telling people to go out and do that, but I'm telling you when I see that, and we're way behind India even.
	India has killed three Ghandis, and we've only killed two Kennedys.
	Israel's been busy?
	Oh, you know, it's exciting to me.
	I just love that punctuation in history when it happens.
	Well, they warned me.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air with George Carlin.
	Good morning.
	Hello.
	Hello.
	Hi, who have I got here?
	Who do you suppose?
	Oh, I don't know.
	Well, who are you calling?
	No, I'm George.
	Oh, no, I meant the caller.
	Oh, the caller is gone.
	We somehow lost the caller.
	I was too busy.
	Somebody just picked him up!
	That's right.
	Listen to the Rockies.
	You're on the air with George Carlin and Art Bell.
	Yeah, hello.
	Hello.
	Hi there.
	I'm calling from L.A.
	Mac.
	How are you doing?
	I'm George.
	Old Yuppieville suburb.
	The comment I had was kind of weird the way humans think with profanity and everything.
	It doesn't really make any sense.
	A teacher I had one time brought up a good point.
	If you switch the words crap and red, then it would be perfectly fine to say, yeah, could you hand me that crap pen?
	But you say, Oh, yeah, I really gotta take a red.
	The teacher yells at you.
	That's right.
	Yes, that is right.
	The thing about words is that they're arbitrary designations, and they freeze meaning.
	They don't allow for nuance or any sort of spectrum, and that's one of the difficulties and limitations of language.
	And then when you add religious superstition and fear, guilt, and shame of the human body, this is what religion has done to us.
	In this area of obscenity, it has taken the human body, its functions concerning sex, and, as it happens, expiratory procedures, and assigned to it an evil, bad attitude.
	I'm sorry, I'm not being too articulate about it.
	Yes, you are.
	I'm trying to rush.
	But it has to do with superstition.
	It is not reality.
	The two most Compromising forces in human experience are going to the bathroom and having sex, and these are the two things that are obscene.
	Not the taking of human life, but these two things are considered obscene, and these are the most irrepressible forces in nature.
	That's what Howard Stern gets in trouble for.
	Talk about that stuff.
	Yeah, I know, but he has to be kind of cute.
	That's true.
	That's true.
	He's on radio and, you know, he got in a lot of trouble.
	I mean, a lot of stations he was on got fined and he went through hell.
	Kind of like you.
	My case was the one that established that.
	Those seven dirty words became a Supreme Court case because a radio station played my record on the air in 1973.
	And in 78, the Supreme Court decided 5 to 4, these words were indecent when played on the radio.
	Did the radio station keep its license?
	It was, uh, yes it did.
	It did.
	It was WBAI.
	It was not a commercial station.
	It was a listener-supported station.
	Ah.
	And they kept their license, so... They kept their license.
	Yeah, that really is a big victory, actually.
	Yeah, and it's funny, they'll just carve... See, they'll just define it any way they want to get what they need, what they think they need.
	But it's so absurd.
	I mean, I just read Newsweek.
	And it's got a story about John McCain, and it says how he said, F-blank-blank-blank, Y-blank-blank-blank.
	Now there it is, in plain black and white.
	They didn't say the two words, but it's clear what they meant, and every reader was intended to know what they meant.
	Of course.
	So apparently, knowing what he said wouldn't hurt you or corrupt you morally.
	But actually hearing it.
	But to print the actual letters would somehow violate something.
	This is how simple-minded and how thin This philosophy is of censoring and other places probably wouldn't say the F blank like they just say blank or expletive.
	There's no real standard for this.
	It's all haphazard, and it's all based on religious fear, guilt, and superstition.
	In the general media, is that ever going to change?
	In our lifetimes, maybe that's a better question, is that ever going to change?
	Is the world going to just open up?
	Well, there is erosion.
	Newsweek would not have even put that much in there 10 years ago, or certainly 20 years ago.
	So there's a certain erosion that takes place.
	But no, I can tell you a 10-letter and a 12-letter one that they'll never print.
	Unless it's a magazine with a smaller circulation that doesn't depend so much on mass advertising.
	It all has to do with printing the book.
	Money, money, money.
	Yeah, not offending a buyer.
	Well, you're very good at behaving yourself, aren't you?
	In other words, you can either be George, the HBO George, or the I did a show on PBS.
	I did 45 episodes.
	I took the place of Ringo Starr.
	In that respect, I'm kind of the anti-Pete Best.
	A very inside rock joke.
	I'm the anti-Pete Best.
	I did a show on PBS. I did 45 episodes. I took the place of Ringo Starr. In that respect,
	I'm kind of the anti-Pete Best. A very inside rock joke. I'm the anti-Pete Best. But I played
	a character called Mr. Conductor. It was a sweet, sweet, well-produced and well-written
	It was not a kind of a garbage show.
	And I took a lot of pride in that.
	I did it because it gave me a chance to act a little in a manner where other people might not see that side of me.
	You know, this thing I do is all about self-expression.
	You know, kind of like exposing yourself to people and showing who you are.
	And this gave me a chance to show that I have another side, that I have another quality to me that perhaps they didn't think about.
	Oh, you obviously do.
	Sure.
	We all do.
	We all have many facets.
	And that's what I tell.
	Sometimes when I did that show, people would say, well, how can you do that?
	And I'd say, well, use it as a learning tool for your child to show them that people have more than one facet.
	People are not all monochromatic.
	They have different aspects to them.
	And I have this aspect as well as the one you know, the profane one.
	But you can walk that line so well.
	I guess that's just a part of being good at what you do.
	Have you seen the movie The Sixth Sense yet?
	No, you know something?
	I watched it in a hotel and fell asleep in the middle of it.
	Not because it was bad, but because it was late.
	I know the movie that you're talking about.
	Well, being a skeptic of the paranormal, I would suggest that movie to you at a moment when you can stay awake.
	Boy, has it been fun having you on the air.
	You promised two hours and that's exactly what you have given me is two hours.
	Well, thank you.
	I really thank you for the chance to be myself and to show my flaws and weaknesses and to show some of my strengths and to tell you the things I feel.
	And I do love your show, and I hope you do it forever and ever.
	Thank you, George.
	Thanks.
	Good night, my friend.
	Bye-bye.
	That's, uh, that's George Carlin, as promised.
	Great guy from ballets.
	And now I guess he can kind of wind down a little bit.
	You do that after a performance, you know.
	The, uh, the adrenaline is flowing, and there's no way that you're gonna go directly to sleep.
	So it's kind of like a racehorse.
	You've got to kind of walk it off.
	And that's what he just did.
	He kind of walked it off.
	Now maybe he'll get some sleep.
	Good night, George.
	From the high deserts, I'm Art Bell and this is Coast to Coast AF.
	I'm working my way back to you, babe, with a burning love inside.
	I'm working my way back to you, babe, and a happiness that won't fade.
	Get away, we're in a frenzy.
	Wanna take a ride?
	Call Art Bell from west of the Rockies at 1-800-618-8255.
	East of the Rockies at 1-800-825-5033.
	First time callers may reach Art at area code 775-727-1222.
	East of the Rockies at 1-800-825-5033.
	First-time callers may reach Art at area code 775-727-1222 or call the wildcard line at
	775-727-1295.
	To talk with Art on the toll-free international line, call your AT&T operator and have them
	dial 800-893-0903.
	This is Coast to Coast AM with Art Bell.
	It is, and that was two hours with George Carlin.
	That was fun.
	I had absolutely no idea what we were going to talk about, none whatsoever.
	And so it just sort of happened, which is fine by me.
	And I don't know what's going to happen this hour, except for one thing.
	I am going to retain my government agent line.
	So, if you're a government agent, Area 51 employee, or otherwise either have connections to or belong to a alphabet organization, you know them all, there's a special line for you open, and I'm asking that everybody else stay away on that line.
	It is Area Code 775, 727-1222.
	Once again, that's area code 775-727-1222.
	Government guys, and I guess gals.
	I don't, you know, I don't think I've ever had a government gal call me.
	Not once.
	Surely there must be some agents out there.
	Right, Shirley?
	I'm not that sorry.
	Anyway, other than that, we've got open lines.
	Dead ahead.
	Stay right where you are.
	You know, next week, I'm going to have some kind of interesting people on.
	For example, on Monday.
	Oh, I'm going to be here Monday, next week.
	Monday, live.
	Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday of next week.
	And Monday, we're going to have Shahan Shamus.
	Shamus.
	I believe it's Shamus.
	Shahan Shamus.
	And he is an IRS employee.
	I'm coming back to what George said about the IRS.
	He is an IRS employee who had an NDE.
	He's still an IRS employee.
	And you better wonder how an NDE would affect an IRS employee and how they conduct themselves following it.
	Can you imagine a life review of an IRS employee?
	I wonder if he had a full life review.
	We'll ask.
	And then, uh, let me see... What else do I have next week?
	Some pretty cool stuff, actually.
	If I can get to... Oh!
	Oh, yes!
	Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes!
	David Israel will be the next night.
	Tuesday night, David Israel.
	And he has produced Y2K, the movie.
	You know, the one that's gonna air on NBC?
	Sunday, November 21st, Y2K the movie, just in time, right?
	And so we're going to have David Israel.
	He's a guy who is responsible for this.
	And there are some people who are more afraid of Y2K the movie and its effect than they are of Y2K itself.
	So that should be a very interesting interview next week.
	I'm very much looking forward to that.
	And then toward the end of the week, or the end of my week, what am I going to have?
	I've got so much material here.
	Again, Y2K.
	So timely, right?
	Y2K, ready or not, here it comes.
	Title of the book by my guest, who is Mark Stevens.
	And he'll talk about what you can do to get ready for what the President says will not happen.
	Y2K.
	In the meantime, on my government line, you're on the air.
	Hello.
	Hello, Mr. Bell.
	Hello there.
	How are you tonight?
	Um, well, I'm just fine, actually.
	Um... You're a government agent.
	I used to be.
	Used to be?
	Yes.
	And, uh... When I pick this up, and I do screen this line to be sure, you know... I have to do that.
	You said it's a secure line.
	Yeah.
	Would you turn your radio off, please?
	Hold on.
	Okay.
	Secure line or not, you've still got to turn off your radio.
	Those are the rules.
	Very confusing.
	To me, if not the caller.
	Yes.
	Okay, good.
	That's better.
	So, I have a brief history with the NSA.
	And I was assigned to a detachment called Griffith Force One.
	Griffith Force One?
	Yes.
	There's two of these units.
	There's North and South.
	I served in the Northern group, which is comprised of about 17 people.
	A third of them are involved in logistics and communications.
	The others are just basically not even necessarily all comprised of Americans.
	Some of it is international.
	There's a lot of Europeans, especially a lot of Germans.
	As you know, probably.
	The Germans have an air force base in New Mexico.
	They do a lot of testing there.
	Well, that's because we have good desert areas where you can test.
	Exactly.
	What was the mandate, the mission of Griffith Force One?
	To become available during rapid For rapid assistance, for the most part.
	I really wasn't the brains of the group.
	A lot of times I wasn't even told what we were doing.
	Were you a grunt?
	To some degree, just a foot soldier of the unit.
	You put out fires, that kind of thing?
	Things that occur, like toxic waste spills.
	We secure the area if it happens in a civilian location.
	We have a certain radius that we work out of.
	In other words, Griffith Force One would respond to things in the southern tier of the U.S.
	while the other would take care of the northern tier?
	No, it's pretty regional to the west side of Lake Tahoe, up to Modoc County area, up to Siskiyou.
	Then it stretches across probably to northern parts of Idaho, but the base is mostly in Nevada.
	Yeah, we're full of bases.
	Are you for any reason disenchanted?
	I mean, why did you leave the force?
	Well, some threats were made against people of my family, which I don't really have much of.
	I was taken because of basically my detachment to my family.
	I never really brought it up.
	Some things came about during a certain time.
	We did mostly of the perimeter security.
	We had a problem where some people were attempting to come on.
	The ammonia sensors were alerted about 50 miles from the southern part of the base.
	And what we had to do was go out and provide assistance to a team that was basically having problems keeping security.
	There, when we arrived for the incident, all we saw was just basically the whole group, probably about 12 men, every one of them a specialist.
	They were all extremely dehydrated and bleeding from the eyes on both sides of their eyes and some of them had hemorrhaged and they were bleeding out of their ears and their mouth.
	And out of their other organs.
	Due to what?
	Their fingernails, but they were dehydrated and it seemed like a good portion of the blood just oozed.
	I've got the picture.
	What happened to them?
	I don't particularly know, but the dogs responded instantly and that's when I knew I had to be ready for something and a lot of people weren't even paying attention to these animals.
	All of a sudden, something basically reappeared, which was a human, um, that I could best say.
	Very, very large.
	And, um, they were probably maybe about nine feet, nine and a half feet tall.
	Aliens?
	Uh, I don't know.
	I don't know if they're from this, from this particular, um, I don't know if, if they're, they look like people from Earth.
	This was the thing that really concerned me.
	Except that much bigger.
	Very big.
	And there was also a female in the group.
	And they were basically mostly human, except they had a few extra... Good Lord, man, where did this occur?
	Well, around the south side of Area 51, which I was really not allowed inside into any of the hangars or any of the underground labyrinths that are there.
	Only about three times.
	Did I ever respond, which was basically with employee problems.
	These people were very... It's hard for me to talk about it.
	So something terrible happened?
	It almost seems like a dream because of the things that happened to me after I saw this.
	Okay, yeah, that's where I was going next.
	You said your family was threatened.
	Why?
	Because I took something from the female of the group.
	She was wearing...
	A very large gold chain with a very large ankh that I had received as a heirloom, passed down to me.
	Instantly, she was looking at me.
	Once she appeared, they were wearing some kind of black cordura, like a nylon.
	Definitely not any of what we have, but it looked similar to that, kind of like a shiny Chemical clothing, you know, whatever we were nylon, but it was really Really pretty shiny blackish purple color with silver stripes right on the on the parts of the limbs and No real no real gadgetry.
	They were basically nude except for this like nylon webbing Clothing over them and they were both very attractive.
	I'd say they were the most attractive humans I'd ever seen They looked like supermodels, but they were very... I've got you.
	Right.
	Probably from the German base, super... I don't know.
	Anyway... They were very exotic.
	I've got you.
	Alright, so you took something from the female, you said?
	Well, she took my necklace from me.
	It flew right through my shirt and almost took off my vest.
	I ripped open my vest and the...
	It landed on the ground, and I moved away from it because it was getting to the point where it was turning white hot, and this was gold.
	It was still holding its shape.
	She came and picked it up.
	Nobody really opened fire.
	We were just in amazement.
	The dogs had calmed down, and that's when they just started attacking everyone in the group.
	They just saw that we were, I don't know, by not responding.
	You know, I guess they expected us to leave.
	Okay, I don't have a lot of time, so we've got to wrap this up.
	So, what did you take?
	Did you take what was yours back?
	No, I took a purple crystal from her.
	Purple crystal?
	I ran the other way, and I kept running and running, and I don't know why I was never chased.
	I heard the screams of the people behind me, and I knew that anything I had could not take care of what was going on.
	Maybe they needed that purple crystal to get back to wherever they came from.
	I don't know.
	They left again.
	What did you do with it?
	Well, we went to a fourth level security code.
	The base was shut down.
	The Blackhawks came in, and I was surrounded by probably about 10 Humvees, and that's when I had to go into debriefing.
	They pulled me in, and they sat me down with a team of people.
	They probed me, and they really wanted to know what was going on.
	They had some artist-rendered sketches, and they became very concerned.
	Evidently, there is a race of alien species.
	That maybe is from another planet, but they definitely are involved in the politics of mankind on an international scale.
	Apparently, that's one of the dual purposes of NATO, is also for some of these things that happen.
	It's pretty scary to see how advanced we are as a culture, technically, already, and some things that we don't do for the inhabitants of the planet.
	I just began to become upset, thinking that, you know, I didn't have the IQ some of these people had, and they knew all these things.
	I have a degree, I'm educated.
	Okay, so we've got to get down to it.
	So you left the organization with the purple crystal in tow, I take it?
	And so that's what got you threatened?
	Yes.
	And you got out from under, I take it, by turning the purple crystal back to them?
	Well, somehow, everything that happens, everywhere, can be seen.
	I don't know what it is.
	I mean, I can't, um... Oh, I know.
	Everything.
	They're everywhere.
	They can see every single thing.
	Did you see Enemy of the State?
	Well, that, to some degree, is a little bit of hype.
	Yeah, but not too much.
	Well, I don't know.
	I just think that... Oh, listen.
	Alright, I've got to run because we're out of time, but I'll tell you this.
	A lot of it wasn't hype.
	A lot of it was true and a lot of it was even understated.
	In other words, what they can track from satellite would cause you heartaches if you knew.
	The way they can listen in to a conversation in what you think is a private area Would blow your mind.
	The ability in the modern day and age, this modern day and age, I think I saw an ad for it and they said, the more electronics, the more modern conveniences you have, the more of an opportunity they have to keep track of everything you do, everything you say, all your private moments, if they want to.
	And I believe the majority of that is true.
	Well, I don't know what to say about that man who just called.
	Hell of a story.
	Might be true.
	He told it like it happened.
	It really happened.
	My BS detector wasn't going off too strongly.
	It might be.
	You never know about this line.
	That's why I opened that line, because you just simply never know what you're going to hear.
	It's really weird.
	He's to the Rockies.
	You're on the air.
	Hi.
	Hi, Art.
	Hello.
	I just wanted to say, um, Uh, I used to like George Harlan, but after hearing his comments, he's uh, he's whacked.
	Think so?
	Oh yeah.
	What, what, what comment did he make that makes you think he's whacked?
	Well, uh, the thing with the earthquakes.
	Yeah?
	And he thought if it was a big one... You mean he'd like to see a disaster?
	Yeah.
	Bigger the better?
	Yeah, that's kind of... What?
	That sounds kind of strange to me.
	There are people like that, though.
	I mean, they feel that things are so screwed up right now that something needs to come along and, you know, it's like everybody out of the pool and start again.
	Well, that's, yeah, that's true.
	I kind of feel the same way, but... I mean, I've always known that Georgia's kind of cracked.
	Yeah, it was kind of cracked.
	So, you know, it's like I wasn't disappointed.
	Yeah.
	And one more thing, Mark?
	Yeah?
	If you don't think the new world order is coming, I think it is.
	Well, prove it.
	Well, I was to a radio station.
	Yeah, I'm here.
	It's called News Watch Magazine.
	News Watch Magazine, yes.
	And?
	They say it's coming.
	Yes.
	But how does that prove it?
	I mean, a lot of magazines say a lot of things.
	Well, it's not a magazine.
	It's a magazine, but it's a radio station.
	And they have their facts straight.
	Everything they say is backed up by comments from people.
	I don't have time to get into it, you know.
	Well, okay.
	I don't know how you can know it's all true.
	I mean, it may be that you say it's true because you agree with it.
	But that doesn't necessarily make it a fact.
	Well, yeah, that's true.
	In other words, they're sort of backing up what you're saying, reinforcing your own belief, and so you're sitting there saying, right on, that'll be the truth.
	That doesn't necessarily mean it is the truth.
	Yeah, you're right, but I don't believe everything they say.
	Well, let me ask you this.
	If there is a new world order, do you want to be on the inside or the outside?
	Tell the truth.
	I want to be on the outside.
	You want to be on the outside?
	Oh, yes.
	Well, then you're going to a camp.
	You know that.
	Well, if I have to.
	If I have to, you know, put a ball in my head, then... All right.
	Well... All right.
	How about the rest of you?
	If it's really common, the new world order, would you rather be on the inside or the outside?
	She's got something to move my soul And she knows I love to love her
	But she lets me down every time Can't make her mine
	She's no one's lover tonight With me she'll feel so inviting
	I want her all for myself I'll take the shine
	And the groove The night is here, the night is sweeter
	You know that you're with me I'm feeling it
	Waiting for this moment to end Baby, I'm not here to stop us
	But I'm afraid Thinking it may be too late
	I'm feeling it Waiting for this moment to end
	Baby, I'm not here to stop us I'm feeling it
	Five cent telephone calls.
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	zero three this is close to close to him with our bill on the premier
	radio network somebody named peter writes means as argue tonight is
	supposed to be wednesday night in the guest list
	is george carlin needs to run out of stairs and the guest is not at games
	It's a historic show with Peter Davenport.
	Well, you're wrong.
	It's both.
	Peter Davenport will be here in the first hour of the program.
	So if you don't get the first hour of the program, you're really gonna miss it tomorrow night.
	Or tonight, technically.
	And after Peter Davenport comes Ed Dames.
	So, it's going to be historic all the way around.
	Five cent calls, right?
	That's what it makes you think about?
	Now they haven't ruined it.
	Well, if you'd like to get to me on the internet, send me an email.
	You may do so.
	I'm Art Bell, A-R-T-B-E-L-L at MindSpring.com, and I'm there for the same reasons that you should be there.
	MindSpring has better connections to the Internet.
	That really is the number one thing with an Internet provider, right?
	56k reliable connections.
	Boom, boom, boom, boom.
	Every time you try, you get it.
	So that's number one, I guess.
	Number two is the Spaminator, which gets rid of all the junk email.
	I would be there for that, if nothing else.
	Even if I was at 19.2 instead of 56k, I'd still go to MindSpring because of the Spaminator.
	That's the truth.
	I love that thing.
	JD Power and Associates just ranked MindSpring number one in overall customer satisfaction.
	You know why?
	Because when you call them up, they help you.
	That's why.
	They help you.
	They actually help you through whatever trouble you may be having, and they stay on the line with you until whatever's wrong is right.
	And there's not a lot of others out there that do that.
	And now the closer for this is the deal.
	It's the truth.
	You buy one month of service from MindSpring, and you get two months free of charge.
	Buy one, get two free.
	Does your internet provider give that to you?
	I bet they don't.
	If you call now and switch, that's what you're going to get.
	They're extending this offer because people went berserk over it, so be it.
	The number is 1-888-677-7464.
	1-888-677-7464.
	Tell them I told you to call to get that deal.
	1-888-677-7464.
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	All right, I am told that I have one more thing that I must do, and then we will return to open lines.
	And yes, I have another government agent.
	By now, I'll bet most of you out there have read and heard more regarding Y2K than you really want to know, right?
	I'm referring, of course, to the computer crashes which are supposed to occur January 1 of the year 2000.
	Well, many people forecast disasters.
	Others say, no problem, don't worry, be happy.
	My friends at David Hall's North American Trading suggest that what you should believe and what you should do is contained in their newsletter entitled, A Conservative Look At Y2K, I think this newsletter really does offer the most sensible approach to Y2K preparedness that I've read yet.
	And, best of all, they're willing to provide a copy of this absolutely free to my listeners, and I strongly, strongly recommend you read it.
	all you have to do is call 1-800-359-4255 and ask for the free Y2K newsletter.
	Be sure and call soon though, because obviously there's little time left to prepare.
	That number is 1-800-359-4255.
	All right, here we go.
	Government agents appear to be addicted to cell phones, and I've got one on a cell phone here.
	Hello?
	Good morning.
	Good morning.
	You have that sort of wavy digital Disguised to your sound, because you're on a cell phone of some sort.
	Well, unfortunately, just before you came on, I think I was switched between cells, because the signal wasn't quite as good as it was previously.
	I see.
	Well, this gives you sort of an eerie government sound anyway, so that's cool.
	You're actually a government agent.
	Retired government agent.
	Retired in 1994.
	Same thing.
	They say you're never really out.
	Well, there's more truth to that than I'd like to think about.
	What agency, can you tell us, were you part of?
	Oh, yes.
	I was recruited by NSA while I was at Fort Bragg in 1967.
	Okay.
	And I'm curious, when NSA comes to you, what attributes do they look for in somebody when they come to recruit you?
	You were at Fort Bragg, so you were in the military, obviously.
	Well, actually, I didn't know exactly why they approached me.
	I later found out it was because of my uncle who had recommended me.
	He was a 30-year Marine who was also NSA.
	I see.
	And during your tenure, how long were you with the NSA?
	Well, actually, I was only with the NSA specifically for a time I was in country, in Vietnam, Laos, Cambodia.
	But I spent the last 22 years after that in the U.S.
	Marshal Service.
	In the U.S.
	Marshal Service?
	Yes.
	That also is very, very interesting duty, isn't it?
	Well, it's one of those things, like they say, it's hours and hours of boredom punctuated by moments of sheer terror.
	Was there anything, is there anything during your career with the NSA in the Far East or with the U.S.
	Marshal Service that would be of particular interest to this audience?
	Well, I was involved in several, well actually two different web ops, one in Laos and another one in Vietnam in 1968.
	Yeah, I know there's a lot of that.
	The U.S.
	Marshal Service, though, what was interesting is basically I retired prematurely because I became somewhat of a relic, I guess, an artifact.
	A lot of it came to pass after the Ruby Ridge debacle.
	Some of the things that happened, I was still with the Marshal Service when the Oklahoma City bombing occurred.
	A lot of the reasons that the Marshal Service, I think, decided to retire me, other than the fact that they wanted to put, once the Democrats had come into power, they wanted to replace those in supervisory positions with their own people.
	That's right.
	As a matter of fact, actually, they did the same thing with the federal judges.
	Oh, yes.
	That's part of the spoiled system of our political process.
	The most interesting aspect of it was, I think, when the first teletype came over.
	Actually, it's not a teletype anymore, but that's one of the archaic terms we, us relics would use, talking about how Billy Deaton had been killed there in Ruby Ridge.
	They told the story of how allegedly they'd been up there surveilling the area.
	The young boy and the young man that he was with had observed him and supposedly sicced a dog on him.
	And it just didn't have the ring of truth there.
	I investigated a lot of different crime scenes and had various different reports of crimes.
	We're beginning to lose you.
	Were you involved in the investigation into Ruby Ridge and what occurred there?
	Yeah, we're going to lose you.
	Okay, maybe it's coming back.
	I got a little stronger signal.
	That's a little better.
	Yeah, I'm westbound on I-84.
	I got a kick out of your secret agent truck driver.
	Well, again, my question was, were you actually involved in the investigation into Ruby Ridge, what occurred there?
	No, I wasn't.
	I was working in the witness protection program at the time.
	The way it came over didn't make any sense.
	Let me ask you then about something you know about, the Witness Protection Program.
	If somebody rats on the mob, or rats on somebody that would kill them for giving testimony, and they enter the Witness Protection Program, can they really feel safe?
	Will the witness protection program really do what it says it does or will they get to you anyway?
	They're evaluating the evidence.
	Damn. Damn. We lost.
	They're evaluating.
	Ha.
	Must be a coincidence.
	We're losing all the important parts here.
	That's it.
	Now he's gone.
	uh... now now is gone
	that's it well see now
	that phone call it depends on what you believe
	with regard to the government's ability to control things Thank you.
	He could have been just obviously passing into a poor sell side.
	Or, did you see Enemy of the State?
	Ah, boy.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Hello.
	Hello Art, good morning.
	Good morning to you.
	I'm calling from New Orleans.
	New Orleans, yes sir.
	WSMB Sports Radio, 1350 AM.
	That's the one, except for me.
	Except for you, yes.
	That's right.
	I'm glad to catch you though.
	You play my favorite song, Really on the evening.
	Nothing but heartache.
	I love that song.
	I thought I was the only one.
	You just can't believe it.
	I mean, you just can't believe it.
	No, you're not the only one.
	I am getting a million... I'm getting a million faxes about that.
	I thought I was the only one.
	No, somebody needs to re-release that song.
	I wonder if the people who did that song are still around.
	I hope so.
	I really do.
	I guess I ought to find out more about it and talk to them, because if that song got re-released today, it would be a hit.
	Yeah, and when you played how it actually begins with the piano and everything like that, man, that thing rocks.
	How about the way it starts?
	Oh, I love that.
	I'm talking about the way you play it, you know.
	I mean, come on.
	This thing rocks.
	Is that a dynamic intro or what?
	Oh, that's great.
	Yeah, that is great.
	And, uh, if nobody else, uh, I, uh, want to mention I too am a, uh, a, uh, fellow, uh, ham also here in New Orleans.
	Oh, you are?
	Yes, I am.
	Well, I want to mention to my fellow hams again That now that conditions are getting better, and they really are, oh man, they're getting so much better, I'm going to be on 29.6 during the daytime on FM on 10 meters.
	Now, do you have to, let's see, that's a band, I've worked 10 meters before, but I haven't really, I'm familiar with that area of the band, I've just never worked there.
	Well, FM is really cool, it's so cool that When the band is right, you can be talking to somebody in New Zealand.
	Full quieting FM.
	Every bit as good as a 2 meter contact across town.
	It's absolutely amazing.
	The band is opening up on 10 just about every day now.
	Oh, I know.
	It's great.
	It's helping out.
	up and out. This is one of the things I like about the Solar Max, when everything is really
	going up and everything like that.
	I have a guest suggestion.
	I don't know how you can get in touch with this guy, but I guess if I write you and send you this guy's letter, maybe you could get in touch with him.
	His name is Alan Weiner.
	He's with WBCQ, The Planet.
	Really?
	Yeah, he's a relatively new shortwave radio station down in Monticello, Maine.
	What kind of stuff does he talk about?
	Well, okay, basically what he does is he You know what the problem is with commercial shortwave?
	Yes.
	to uh...
	and only the river religious groups everybody but uh...
	here at the water time too people just want to
	don't put on programs you know i could i have a all the shows and things like
	that but i am uh...
	they have uh...
	you'll basically all kinds of music on there the problem you know what the problem is with commercial
	shortwave uh... yes
	the problem is that uh...
	they've got to pay the electric bill and they have big transmitters and so
	they end up selling time to people who can't get on anywhere else you know the uh...
	total fanatics yeah a lot of that type of thing and uh...
	it's kind of too bad It is, because it's such a dynamic medium, it really is.
	It really is, you're correct, I agree with you.
	I've listened to it actually since I say I've been listening to Shortwave since 1972.
	I think I missed WNYW, your former commercial shortwave station out in New York.
	I missed them by about a year or two, I think.
	They were the old WRUL, which was out of Boston, Mass., and then they moved it to New York.
	Well, we have contemplated now for years, thank you, putting the show on shortwave, but we just haven't done it.
	And you know why?
	Because of what I just talked about.
	Because we don't want to get mixed up with a lot of what's on there now.
	That's not to say we will not eventually go on some shortwave station, but there's so much radical radio that we just don't want to get mixed up in it.
	So we've had some opportunities and haven't done it.
	Then, of course, there's been sort of a race of technology that has overtaken shortwave with satellite delivery.
	You can talk to people all over the world without any fading and the rest of that because so much has changed.
	Eventually, radio will come to you.
	Let me bitch about something while I've got the chance.
	You know these various television services like the Dish service or DirecTV?
	I've got both of them here.
	And they're wonderful.
	But they've got like a hundred Music channels.
	I mean, you can hear Italian polka channel music 24 hours a day.
	And so, my question is, since talk radio is the number one format in the world, how are these satellite services servicing their customers by not putting talk, having at least one channel, one channel for talk radio?
	I think it's an abomination.
	It's ridiculous.
	Why aren't we on these direct satellite services?
	Talk radio should be all over it.
	At least one channel.
	So if you, uh, next time you send in your bill to DISH or DIRECT or RCA, whoever you deal with, raise hell with them.
	Tell them how come you don't have talk radio on there.
	What the hell's the matter with you people?
	Who needs all of that music?
	I mean, the music is nice, it's fine, but there is this other medium, in fact, the all-consuming talk radio medium, number one right now, and you guys don't even have it.
	What the hell's the matter with you?
	Raise hell with them.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Hi, um, you know the song you were asking about, uh, Mother and Child Reunion?
	Yes.
	I heard that that was What happened was Paul Simon went to a Chinese restaurant and that was on the menu.
	And what it referred to was chicken and eggs.
	So that's the mother and child reunion.
	Oh, come on.
	Really, I heard that.
	On TV.
	Really?
	Paul Simon actually said that?
	He said that himself, yeah.
	And that's where he got the idea for the song.
	Of course, you know, it got more complicated afterwards.
	It just began with, it was inspired by a Chinese menu.
	You know what I thought it was?
	What?
	I thought the only thing it could mean is that a child had died and the mother was about to pass on and he was singing about how his wife and his child were about to be together again.
	No, sorry, it was just a chicken and an egg.
	Chicken and egg.
	It's a chicken and an egg on a plate.
	Another one that you might try and answer since you came up with this one is the sounds of silence.
	Now what does that one mean?
	I don't know.
	I don't know.
	I don't know that one.
	It could be anything.
	What can you guess?
	Nobody knows that one.
	Maybe it was, you know, waiting for the menu.
	You know what I heard?
	What?
	I heard that it meant nothing.
	They actually said it meant nothing.
	And that it was supposed to be interpretive.
	As nothing?
	No.
	No, no, no.
	In other words, the ear of the listener, you know.
	Whatever.
	You were to listen to it and assign your own meaning to it.
	Kind of like an impressionistic painting.
	I see.
	Well, that makes sense.
	The sound of silence.
	Hmm.
	Well, I've definitely attached lots of meaning to that.
	Anyway, listen, the program appears to be over.
	I'm out of time.
	Where are you, by the way?
	I'm in Arcata.
	Arcata, California.
	That's right.
	All right.
	Well, then say good night, everybody.
	Good night to the world.
	Good night to the world.
	Yes.
	Well done.
	Thank you.
	See you later.
	Bye.
	All right.
	Now, Peter Davenport, in the first hour tomorrow night, With a couple of major heavy pilots.
	Pilots of heavies, I guess I ought to say.
	And an air traffic controller.
	It's going to be quite a night.
	And then, of course, it's Ed Dames from the high desert.

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