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Dec. 6, 2012 - The Unexplained - Howard Hughes
01:05:09
Edition 98 - Carole J. Obley

This edition features Pennsylvania-based Spirit Medium Carole J. Obley who has researched"unfinished business" between this world and the next… How do you say the things you wish you'dsaid to your loved one after they've died?

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Across the UK, across continental North America, and around the world on the internet, by webcast and by podcast.
My name is Howard Hughes, and this is The Return of the Unexplained.
Thank you for coming back to the show, and thank you for keeping the faith with it.
I'm going to do, before the end of this year, and we hope to get up to edition 100 by then, that's my plan anyway, I'm going to do a major rundown of recent emailers.
I'm going to do a lot of shout-outs in probably the last show of the year.
So listen out for those.
Thank you very much for all the support.
Freezing cold here in London today.
As I record these words, I'm looking at the most beautiful clear sky and sunset.
But I can tell you it's deeply, deeply cold in some parts of the UK.
They've had a lot of snow and we're expecting more.
And depressingly enough, they're telling us that the freeze-up could continue into the new year.
Now, I think you know, if you've listened to me regularly over the years, my view on the British weather.
I quite like the summer here.
We've got a beautiful country and you can see it in the summer.
Mostly the winter I can do without.
It is really cold as I record these words.
My feet are cold and a lot of people are getting bugs and flu and all sorts of things.
And I'm just recovering from one of those.
So if I sound a little bit like that, that's the reason for it.
But I think I'm by no means alone.
A lot of people have these things now.
In the news, as I record these words, the Chancellor of the Exchequer, the man who's in charge of the government's purse strings in this country, has just told us that the outlook for the economy looking forward is not quite as rosy as we might have been led to believe.
I don't think that's a great big surprise.
I think we have more interest on that front coming in the new year.
And I will try and get Gerald Salente back on the show to talk about that, to give us a bit of a reality check about the way money markets and economies around the world really work.
I think we could do with some of that, but he's a very busy guy, recently visited Europe, wasn't able to catch him, but we're going to try and get it back on at the beginning of 2013.
Max Kaiser, another good person to talk about that, but I just have a feeling that things are going to be very interesting in 2013.
And without being a naysayer or a purveyor of doom, which I don't want to be, I think we're all going to have to strap ourselves in.
But then most of us have anyway, haven't we, for the last few years?
If you want to get in touch with the show, go to the website, www.theunexplained.tv, www.theunexplained.tv.
There's a link there to send me email.
You can also make a donation to the show, which at this time is very, very gratefully received.
And thank you if you have recently made a donation.
All the money goes towards keeping this show going.
Thank you to Adam Cornwell, the man who keeps this show on the road for us.
He's my webmaster at Creative Hotspot in Liverpool.
Adam, thank you.
And Martin, as usual, as we come to the end of this year, 2012, thank you for your help with the show.
Now, this time round, sometimes I'm guided to doing topics just by instinct.
There are a million topics out there.
I remember when I started The Unexplained, somebody said to me, don't you think you're going to run out of topics?
And I said, look, if I was to sit here from now until this time next year, I would not run out of topics.
You just don't.
The more you open doors, the more doors open, if that makes any sense.
So, this time around, I'm going to talk to a spiritual medium.
It's been a while since we've had one of those on.
Her name is Carol J. Obley, and she's in the States.
And she's written a book and done a lot of research into something that I think is very important, because it's something that in a real life context, many of us, I'd even hesitate to say, but will say, most of us are going to have to face.
That's the subject of losing somebody close and dear to us, but there being unfinished business between us and them when they go.
That may well have happened in your life.
I was very lucky.
The most traumatic loss that I've had in my life was the loss of my dear mother back in 2006.
And I don't know whether she knew.
I always think that she did, but we had a conversation, just her and I. She was in hospital.
And we didn't know she was going to die.
There was no indication of that.
But the conversation ranged over our lives, both of us, and things that I'd done and said as a little boy.
And it was a beautiful closing together.
Of course, I didn't know that's what it was, but it was a tying up of all the loose ends.
And a message of love to me from somebody who will always be, of course, very dear to me.
And her last words to me and mine to her were, I love you.
An awful lot of people don't get that chance.
Sometimes there are hard words said this side of the great divide, if you believe there is a great divide.
And sometimes there are just things that need to have been resolved and you would like to let whoever it is know.
Well, this is the subject of Carol J. Obley's research.
We know there's been a lot of not great mediumship over the last hundred years or so, especially here in London.
People who purport to bring back your uncle Fred and you can make it all right with him or whatever.
You know, a lot of mediums do this kind of thing.
But Carol J. Obley has researched all of this and I think will make a very interesting guest.
Let's find out now as we cross to the United States and Carol J. Obley on the Unexplained.
Carol, thank you for coming on.
Thank you for having me, Howard.
And Carol, I've just been telling my listeners before you came on that we're into the beginnings of a deep freeze here in London town and a few people have got various bugs.
I think I'm just about to cough.
Mustn't do that.
Is it cold where you are?
Actually, in Western PA, it's surprisingly warm.
It's about 60 degrees.
It's what?
60 degrees.
It is about 60 degrees.
Yes, it's going to get a lot colder, but that's what it is.
So you can actually go out with a light jacket on, which is phenomenal for this time of year.
But it is true that you see it in New York as well.
There can be days in January.
I remember being there in January 20 years ago, and I'd never seen anything quite like this.
It was my first experience of New York.
They had these great big blue skies.
And one morning I'd get up, it would be like 60 degrees Fahrenheit.
What's that, 17 degrees Celsius in Europe?
And then the next morning they'd have snow and the temperatures would be beyond freezing.
Literally, your weather can go like that, can't it, at this time of year?
Well, in recent years, that seems to be the norm.
That's what it's doing.
So we don't know what's going to happen.
Actually, they were predicting a colder winter this year.
So we'll just have to wait and see.
Well, you'll have to wait and see.
My listeners know me well enough to know that I don't really do cold.
But I think I'm going to have to just get used to it for a few weeks.
Grin and bear it.
At least London is quite a nice city to be in in the wintertime.
Now, your biographical material describes you as a spiritual medium.
What, in your words, is one of those?
Well, a spiritual medium is someone who has sensitivity.
And by the way, someone who genuinely has sensitivity.
And you can tell that from looking at someone's astrological natal chart to the spirit world, sensitivity to be able to receive and perceive non-physical energies.
So are you telling me that you can tell from somebody's date of birth, a precise time and date of birth, that they will be more attuned than somebody else?
Yes.
If you look at the chart doesn't lie.
And I've studied astrology for a good number of years.
I'm certainly not an expert astrologer, but I do use it as a tool when I do readings for people.
At times, I will use that as a tool.
Also, tarot cards as a tool.
If you look at the chart of somebody who is genuine, a genuine, has genuine ability, you will see markers to the planet Neptune.
You'll see a sensitivity where the moon was at, the moment the person was born.
And you'll see relationships or aspects with the planets that indicate that the person has come in with that sort of ability.
I remember Winston Churchill saying over here, I believe it was Winston Churchill, cometh the hour, cometh the man.
So at the right time, the right kind of person comes around.
That's it.
I really believe the longer that I do the work, and it's been almost two decades, the longer that I do the work, the more that I understand that I think true mediumship, genuine mediumship, has to be nurtured.
Somebody can be born with it.
However, you really, just like any other talent or ability, you have to nurture it and sustain it.
So in that regard, I've done a lot of, I've taken classes and I've done a lot of meditation and I'm constantly kind of, it's an updating program, you know, within my consciousness to be able to perceive spirit.
When you say perceive spirit, I think I know what you're talking about, but you explained to me, how do you perceive spirit?
Do you see it?
Do you smell it?
Feel it?
All of those, Howard.
All of those.
There are these things called the three inner senses, and there are actually more than that, but the three main are the three C's, clairvoyance, clairaudience, and clairsentience.
Claire is from the French.
It means clear.
And of course, sentient is feeling.
Audience is listening.
And voyance is seeing.
And so those inner, I call them the inner senses, and many other people have called them that too.
I'm not the only one.
Those have to be developed in someone who already has a sensitivity or a heightened ability.
And then you can perceive through all of those.
I liken it to a tapestry.
And if I were to hold a painting in front of you and say that I have a veil over that painting and you can't see it, and then all of a sudden I remove that covering and your gut reaction to that painting, taking it all in.
That's what it's like for me.
And it's very much a combination of all of those senses that I spoke of.
So it kind of hits me, you know, in my chakras, the energy centers in the body.
That's how I perceive spirit beings.
Problem is, isn't it, that a lot of people over the years that I've met have claimed to be mediums.
They've claimed to be in contact with those who've departed and those who are on another plane.
And it's impossible, I think, for those of us who are the consumers of these things to know with great precision whether or not that is the case.
You know, what kind of standard of, I won't say proof, but what kind of standard of veracity can you use?
Yes.
Oh, I agree with you that there are many people working in this field, and not just this field, but any field, any chosen field.
There are people who are genuine and there are people who are not, who are just in it for money, for ego purposes.
I can tell you that you won't last long if you're in it for that reason.
I can tell you about the months when I first began, the years actually, that I earned very little.
I can tell you about times when I wanted to give up, but something kept me on the pathway.
I think a good rule of thumb is validation from other people.
So in other words, referencing.
In my books, and there are three of those now, I encourage people to ask around.
You know, if you want the services of a medium that you need to go on referencing, and the medium should know nothing about you beforehand.
I know little to nothing about people before I read them.
I might know their last name because they've made some sort of a payment to me, but I absolutely don't do anything as far as research on them.
I've been accused of that, but I can assure you I don't do it.
And I think that there are other standards too.
You know, here in the United States, there are programs that have been developed, scientific programs, in which mediums are tested.
One of them is at the University of Arizona, and it's called the Veritis program.
And the gentleman's name is Dr. Schwartz.
He has tested, scientifically tested mediums.
And they've come out with some flying colors.
And there are other standards too.
Personally, what I've gone through is certification at Delphi University.
That's where I got a lot of my training.
So I had to do so many readings with accuracy in order to become certified.
Now, isn't that interesting?
Because so many mediums that I've known over my time, and I've talked to a lot, they say, and I can understand some of this, that you can't do it to order.
And yet here are you, you've been tested and you say that you've come through the tests.
That's interesting.
Yeah.
And I mean, there are many organizations out there that will do testing.
The University of Arizona is just one of those.
But I think it's becoming more and more accepted that we can prove some of the paranormal phenomena through scientific tests.
The problem with it is that because mediumship and other spiritual phenomena is perceived and received through the right brain, which is the hemisphere of the brain that is not involved with logic, that some of the standard testing doesn't work.
And so, you know, for example, I get a lot of information through feelings, and I will have to put that into words for clients.
So how do you gauge feelings, you know, other than the client saying, yes, that's accurate.
You know, that's how my father was.
Or yes, that's how I felt about my father.
That's how I feel about him.
So it's very much a feedback also of validation from what is called the sitter.
And sometimes that is exactly what is required, isn't it?
If you think about it, if you say, I'm getting a very angry man here, that might just communicate enough information to say, my God, that's my father or my uncle or whatever.
Yes.
And I can tell you that I am an evidential medium, meaning I'm always working with facts, not vague information that anyone could know or say or impart.
I work with names.
Many readings contain names, sometimes last names, believe it or not.
I work with validating factors such as geographical locations, what the person passed from.
Many things can be used for evidence.
Personality of the deceased is also evidential.
Also, there's prophecy in the reading so that the person is given prophecy from the other side.
And they know that because they're actually vibrating in a different, at a faster velocity than we are here on the earth plane.
Is it a two-way street?
If somebody comes to you and they want to make contact, and we'll get into the theme of this book that we're here to talk about very, very soon.
But if somebody comes to you and they want to make contact with somebody who's passed, does the person who's passed have to be complicit in that?
In other words, do the two sides have to concur?
So if the person who's coming to you wants to see this person, wants to know about this person, that person in spirit has to want to do that?
Yes, that's the short answer.
More to expound on that, I would say that one of the things that I encourage people to do, and it's right on my website, which by the way is soulvisions.net, one of the things that I encourage people to do is to meditate beforehand and have questions written.
Why would I ask them to do that?
Well, because meditation is a stilling of the left brain and it brings a person into the awareness of the higher self.
That is the space where you will meet the astral plane or the spirit world is in that still point.
You certainly won't perceive that through your left brain.
The questions, many of them are answered before the person will ask.
So that disproves mind reading on my part.
But the spirit world, because they're always aware of our thoughts and feelings, know those questions and they know what's in our minds.
So that's why I have people do that.
And it really, if everything comes together, it makes for a very, very good experience and a healing experience for the person who's receiving it.
And are people sometimes disappointed when they come to you if the person they want to contact is not available?
I'll give you an example.
I mentioned just at the beginning of this show that I lost my mother in 2006 and we were very close.
Fortunately, we didn't have any unfinished business.
We had a lovely conversation at the end.
Neither of us knew it was going to be the end, but it was our last conversation.
And it was exactly right.
It was perfect.
A lot of people don't get that luxury.
And if anybody had wanted to go to a medium and contact his mother, then it would have been me.
And yet I got increasingly, I felt she was very close to all of us in the period after she passed.
And I have examples which I won't go into.
I've gone into on this show before, of where I felt she was around me and weird things that happened for a few days afterwards.
Now, if I think about her, I get this feeling.
It's like she's saying, I'm somewhere else.
She's not on a plane that I could connect with.
So I suppose my question for you in a roundabout way is, is that how it works, that there are some spirits that actually go on somewhere else.
They have something else to do?
Yes, that is true.
There are many Topics that I addressed in my second book, by the way, published by O-Books, is I'm Still With You: True Stories of Healing Grief Through Spirit Communication.
There's a whole chapter I dedicated to these things called ADCs, and that's after-death communication without a medium.
And my sense is that's what you've got, that's what you received from your mom, that she gave you signs that she was around, and then she needed to continue with her work in the spirit world.
Well, I'll tell you very, very briefly, I have mentioned this before, but I'll tell you this, that I used to make music tapes for my car.
You know, in the days when people made mixed cassettes, my little VW Beetle when I was in my 20s was always full of these tapes.
And whenever I made a tape, I would make another for my mum, and she would play it in the kitchen at home or whatever.
So for every tape that I had, she had one.
After she died, I'd gone up to Liverpool, where the family are from, and I was about to go home because I had my business to sort out in London.
I hadn't got any music with me at that time, so I took six of these tapes that I'd made for her and only managed to play two of them.
And on the first one that I played, I was halfway down through England on the way home to London, and the music was interrupted by my mother's voice.
Now, basically, without me knowing, she had recorded on this tape a little bit of me reading the news.
She said that she would keep copies of me on it.
I was on a national radio station back then, and there was no way that I could record myself, and she said that she would do it for me.
But it took me 20 years to find out she actually had done it, and she learned how to intro it herself by just saying, hello, Howard, it's whatever it is, 1991, and it's 11 o'clock at night, and I'm just about to record you reading the 11 o'clock news.
Now, I'd never heard that tape.
I didn't even know she'd done it.
And the chances of the 50, 60, 70 tapes that I could have picked, the chances of me picking out that one tape to play on the train on the way home from being there when she died, just after she died, the chances of that happening are, how could you, I don't even know how to quantify them, millions to one, I don't know, but they are, I don't believe that was random.
That was not coincidence.
But after that, I felt she'd gone.
No, it was synchronistic.
I have heard so many stories over the last two decades from clients.
Some of them I've written about.
They are all true.
Everything in my books is either direct experience or straight from the mouth of my clients.
I've done so many readings of about 7,000, over 7,000 at this point.
Yes, I believe you were hearing from your mother.
Synchronicity happens because, and by the way, synchronicity is what?
Two things happening at the same time.
And that really create meaning for a person and in a spiritual sense that creates some sort of shift in consciousness and opening a portal for the person to connect with higher sense perceptions.
My sense is what happened with you was that it was her way of creating that synchronicity.
And I do want to tell you this, as you were speaking, I really have felt that your mother was extremely proud of you.
I don't know if she ever told you that when she was here, but I feel she's been communicating that to you for quite some time since her passing, certainly.
Well, she was always, I always, for the things that I did, my mom and my dad, I always used to try and say, I'm doing this for you.
And when I won a news award in 1998, first one I won, I gave it to my parents because I said, look, without you, I couldn't have done any of this.
This award is yours, not mine.
So, yes, they were both tremendously proud.
But an important question, I think, and I don't think I've asked any medium this before.
Do you believe that when we pass, when you pass, when I pass, we get together with those people who've been close to us during our lifetime, during their lifetime?
Yes, including beloved pets.
Many readings that I've done, pets have come through and the person identifies them.
And they don't die either.
We don't die alone, Howard.
That's the important thing for people to know.
We're not born alone, obviously.
We don't die alone either.
So at that moment when we're passing, and this information is going to be very important for a lot of people, including myself, what do we go through as far as you know, as far as you've been told?
What's it like?
As far as what I've been told, and this is from the other side, from spirits who have crossed over, we are met with those that we knew and loved here that are no longer with us physically.
We go through the tunnel of light.
And very soon after we cross over, we have the life review.
We are shown the implication of choice.
I've written about this in my books, the choices that we made when we were here.
And we further see, and I want to speak about this thing called the ripple effect.
A long time ago, I was made aware by my spirit guides, those souls who helped me with my own journey here and my work as a medium.
They told me about the ripple effect, and they said that our life, each individual's life, is, you can use the analogy of the metaphor, when we throw a pebble into a pond and the waves, the small waves that come out from that, that's what our life is like so that we affect other people.
We leave a mark here when we come onto earth and through our physical incarnation.
And do we have to account for that after passing or do we just simply have to acknowledge that and review it?
Yes, 100%.
But what I mean is, is there some great reckoning?
Say somebody's been really, you know, I like to think I've been a nice guy, but of course, over the time in relationships and what have you, we all, without even meaning to, we hurt people and people get hurt as a result of what we do, even if we are nice people.
Do you have to, is there some big roll call reckoning when you get on the other side?
Well, what happens is, is that when we not only see the choices that we made on our pathway here, we also experience internally how that made other people feel, the effects of our actions and our thoughts.
So in other words, you know, I'm sure most listeners have heard of the word karma.
Karma is neither good nor bad.
It's simply cause and effect.
When we cross over, when physical life is finished, we see karma, meaning we see what we created and what we balanced when we were here.
From that standpoint, from that perspective, and in Soul to Soul Connections, my new book, I talk about the BP.
The BP stands for the big picture.
And from that perspective, we see what we need to do on the other side.
So when you mentioned your mother going on to another realm, it could be that she needed to continue to grow and learn.
We go back with soul groups.
Soul groups are those souls who share a similar spiritual consciousness.
And is that effective on this side of the great divide?
In other words, I've been in working situations, social situations, many times in my life where you just walk into a room full of people.
Maybe it's your first day at work in a new job and you know it's just not going to work.
It's wrong.
And I've done similarly the same thing where I've walked into a working environment day one and I've just thought, I'm so comfortable with these people here.
Yeah.
Generally with soulmates, you recognize them through familiarity.
You also recognize them if you look into the eyes.
There is some sort of magnetic connection there.
So it's that whole thing of you say to somebody, and I have said it a few times in my life, I feel quite genuinely like I've known you all my life.
Maybe you have and beyond.
Yes, we generally incarnate and reincarnate with people that we've been with before.
And the reason for that is because we either have A, unfinished business, or B, we have further work to do with that particular group.
So it can be either of those.
It can be both of those.
And we don't, sometimes we do go with other soul groups for purposes of expansion, you know, to expand our spiritual learning.
And sometimes we have a collaborative effort with those people.
It can be any number of things.
Karma is really complex.
It's not a simple thing.
I think people tend to simplify, well, if I murdered somebody in the last lifetime, then, you know, something like I'm going to be murdered this time, or I must have done something bad in my past lifetime.
Not always.
Karma is very intricate.
It's very, it has a lot of depth and layer to it.
But we do spend time with souls that we have known, and we will cross over and see those souls again.
All of that is very comforting to know that there will be familiarity and there'll be warmth there.
I think a lot of us will be made uneasy by the fact that we're going to have to continue the work.
You know, all of us have made, I guess, unless we're a saint, have made bad choices.
You know, I think back of my own career, I've made some great career choices and some terrible moves in my career.
And it's all part of the big mix.
And in life, too, it's a bit scary when you think that I'm going to have to go on again and sort all that out.
Again, it's like going on the stage again.
You've already been through the drama.
You've had the applause at the end of the show and you've got to go back on for another performance.
Yeah, but the thing that I think that people are now becoming aware of with the spiritual evolution and the huge shifts in consciousness that we're having is that fear or dread is coming from our own ego.
And that's what's going to hold us back.
If we truly understand that the soul, which each of us is, doesn't know suffering.
It's our ego that creates the suffering.
Then we don't have any fear as far as what we need to learn, how we need to grow.
I will tell you that it's been a tremendous awakening for me through being a medium to understand that the soul is indeed eternal.
It's not even a belief in me.
People say, do you believe in life after death?
And I say my response is, no, I don't believe in it.
I know it.
And in your life, this is a very hard question, and it's fine if you have to give it a little bit of thought before you answer it.
Was there a clincher experience that proved that to you?
Was there one time where you saw that absolutely that is the case?
And it's not just a belief.
It's a fact.
It's as is.
Yes.
Each reading that I do, because there are undeniable validations that have come through in the readings that astound me, that the person that I'm reading for will have absolutely no knowledge of.
And then they come back to me either through email or a phone call and validate something that was, you know, said, you know, that there would be no way of ever knowing.
And the real test is if the person, as you say, the person who comes to see you, they couldn't have known that little bit of information and they've had to run it past somebody else to get that validated.
That happens many, many, many times.
So I'm not saying that to essentially blow my own horn.
That's not why I'm saying that.
I am astounded by the messages as well being a conduit for spirit, for spiritual messages.
I think, too, that what I have seen with my own personal experiences, my mother passed nine And a half years ago, and I have had visitations from her.
Things that, again, I would have no way of knowing that were going to be revealed in my own family.
And then that's what happened.
You say you had visitations from her.
You mean she came to see you?
Well, yes.
And it's more where I get a strange sensation.
And I'm sure some of your listeners have had these sorts of things happen.
Again, they're called ADCs, after-death communication.
Sometimes when I'm lying in bed at night and I meditate, I have headsets on and I do meditation at night.
I will feel a strange tingling sensation on my right calf of my leg.
And it doesn't happen all the time, but it happens periodically.
And when it does, and it's the only time it happens to me throughout the course of the day, I will see my mother in my mind's eye through clairvoyance.
And it's her way of coming to me.
So, you know, there are many, many things, examples that I could give you that I know that we do go on.
I've also had, you know, spirit contact with what people call ghosts.
you know, that may sound funny, but people go, well, yeah, of course, because you're a medium, but I never, The wispy figures.
I've actually had ectoplasm come out of walls.
I lived in a haunted place, and this was a number of years ago, and scared the heck out of me.
Scared the heck out of me.
No, I can understand that.
I never, I don't really want, I have no desire to see ghosts.
I communicate in my mind all the time with the spirit world, but this was a physical manifestation that happened several times to me.
And I've since moved out of that place.
But there's absolutely no explanation for some of these paranormal events that have gone on.
And that's how I know that I know, that we live on.
And how does all of this tie into perception and knowing things?
I'm asking this for a reason.
Sometimes in my life, I've told people things that have happened subsequently or things that I've known that I couldn't have known about them.
You know, there are many examples, and I won't bore you with them now.
You know, I haven't been in connection, I don't think, with the other side, but there's been something that I've tapped into and it's bugged me over the years as to what it might be.
Yeah, well, you know, I teach intuition development to people and I've actually created products with that too, for people to study at home.
And, you know, I've taught for about 15 years because I believe that each person has the ability to have a higher sense perception.
However, I do not believe that most people are called to be professional mediums.
It's just like most people could, you know, walk a mile, but they're not going to be professional athletes or they could play chopsticks on the piano.
They may not be professional pianists at some point.
However, we do have the ability.
And certainly there are certain people who, such as you, you know, that may tap into that.
So at times it's a party trick, but just like what you do, it happens mostly with people that I've never met before.
If I know them, if I know too much about them, I can't do it.
But if I've never met them before and I'm, you know, getting on with them quite well, then I can tell them things.
But if I've known them for a while, then, you know, some people will say to me, come on then, Howard, if you can do this, do this with me.
And I said, it doesn't work that way.
And of course, they think that's a great big cop-out.
But it isn't.
It's just that it's easier to paint on a blank canvas, I think.
Yes, exactly.
It is.
The less that I know about people, the better.
I actually have to stop people sometimes and giving me information.
I stop them because once I know it consciously, I can't, spirit can't use it in the session.
Yes, because it starts to play into your consciousness and filters through your brain and then it's gone because it's like ripples on the pond, isn't it?
The image is distorted.
Something I've been meaning to say to you for the last few minutes and I haven't been sure whether I should say it because I could be well wrong and probably am.
Did your mother have a horse?
Did somebody have a horse?
No, she didn't.
Okay, well, they're completely wrong.
But I have to tell you, Howard, I love miniature horses.
Okay.
Well, that's very weird because I saw a horse.
People are going to think I'm mad, but the color of caramel chocolate, a little horse.
I would love to have them work with therapy animals, but no, no, she didn't.
Okay, but horses are important to you.
But there again, you see, that's what a medium, or some mediums would say, is that, ah, well, yes, I was wrong there, but.
Yes, well, maybe someday you're giving me prophecy that I'm going to be doing that sort of thing.
It's just an interesting test there.
But at least horses have some significance.
I just wanted to say, since you brought up the topic of animals, you know, people often want to know, is a pet around them that's deceased?
And they do come back.
They will often come into the places that they were very comfortable with before they passed.
For example, you know, sometimes people feel them in their bed at night if a pet slept in bed with them.
Sometimes they'll be around a treat jar in the kitchen or something.
They do go to the other side.
The difference is, you know, I've seen this.
They don't cling to life like we do.
They are not fearful of dying.
They know that they exist in both places.
So they stay here sometimes just for us.
And, you know, they become selfish after a while that we should let them go if they're suffering.
But they do come back.
And believe it or not, we actually reincarnate with animal souls that we've been familiar with.
Really?
Well, that's fascinating.
When I was a kid, I had a Labrador, a golden Labrador, yellow Labrador.
I'm not sure what you call them there, but Golden Labrador that I was very close to.
I love this dog.
We were both sort of teenagers together, really.
And it's very strange that now, and people always think I'm nuts when I say this, but if I'm walking in the park near where I live and there's a golden labrador, if perhaps I'm with somebody else, the dog will come to me.
You know, maybe I was just a dog in another life, but I always find that odd.
It makes me laugh.
They will always come to me.
Yeah.
Well, there's some sort of resonance there.
There's some sort of, they sense your energy.
Animals are extremely psychic, especially cats.
And I have three cats.
They're still actually kittens.
They are very sensitive to energy, as are children.
I've written about that in my books too, that children, until about the age of seven, are extremely open to the spirit world.
Some of them also remember prior lifetimes.
They will speak to their parents about experiences that they've had here.
So dogs and cats, any of the domestic animals, also kids, sometimes come through with things and will think, how are they sensing that?
But it's because they haven't shut down that spontaneity, that right brain capacity, that direct line to the spirit world.
They haven't shut it down.
There is a wonderful BBC documentary that might have made its way onto YouTube that I'd love you to see sometime.
It is about a little boy who told everybody that he'd been brought up on an island, little Scottish island called Barra, way north, way, way north, beautiful, desolate place.
And knew details about the place and people who'd lived there that he couldn't possibly have known.
And this documentary charted his, they took him to Barra, and he knew things and was able to go places.
And he knew something about an accident.
He said some guy who'd been related to him in a previous existence had died, I think, after an accident with a tractor or something like this on this island.
And it was utter, I've never seen anything like that, but it was utterly fascinating.
So you must look it out if you can.
Now, let's cut to the chase now.
Your book about this very important subject, and this is why, obviously, I wanted to talk to you, about the idea of unfinished business.
Now, a lot of mediums, some of the showbiz ones who do great big theater performances in front of hundreds and hundreds of people every night, they will go out with the express intention of doing that kind of thing.
So they will say, is there a, does anybody recognize the name Leslie?
And somebody at the back will stand up and say, Leslie, Leslie wants to say that, you know, he didn't suffer as he passed and he wants to send you his love and good feelings now.
I'm not saying that it is bogus, but it's always struck me as being a bit so.
What do you think?
Well, I think what you're describing is what some people call cold reading.
I personally, when I do groups and I've done larger groups, certainly not big auditoriums or anything like that, but I've stood in front of several hundred people and done messages.
You have to be specific.
And I'm constantly asking spirit beings for extremely specific information.
As specific as it gets, there are usually going to be, depending upon the size of the group, several people there that can claim that.
So then you have to get more specific.
So, you know, I think that there has to be discernment for people.
My end of, you know, working with people with the unfinished business is because people waste many years sometimes of their lives going back over feelings attached to a relationship in which the person may have passed a decade ago or longer.
And people torture themselves with guilt, with what I call, there's a chapter in Soul to Soul Connections called the Wuda, coulda, should haves.
I hear that a lot from people.
And my goal in writing that book was to help people understand how they can heal relationships from the standpoint of becoming spiritually aware and knowing that they always have the ability.
Each human being has the ability to access a spiritual awareness within self.
And through that awareness, that all healing is possible.
All right.
Well, let's be specific here because people who come to see you are coming to you for a reason.
They wouldn't have come to you out of, well, mostly, they wouldn't have come to you out of idle curiosity.
They are there for a reason.
There is something that they want.
Perhaps they have some sense of anguish about something.
Tell me a story or two, if you can, because you say that you've got lots of case histories in the book about people who've come to you and they've wanted to heal that kind of broken pathway.
They've wanted to make something right.
Give me some examples.
Yes.
Well, there are two stories in the book on people who have had to, for the best intentions, put their elderly parent in, and in both of those cases, they were mothers of the sitters, put them in personal care homes because they were unable to care for them any longer.
And I think both of the stories that I used in there, they had some form of mental incapacity, Alzheimer or dementia or something like that.
Both of those case studies, the women had enormous guilt over doing that.
And I believe that's in the chapter under guilt.
That's where I use those stories.
People will beat themselves up for years over that sort of thing.
And these certainly these two people did.
When they heard from their mothers that they understood now from this higher perspective that I mentioned earlier, the BP, the big picture, that they were not being mean-spirited in putting their parent In a place in which they were going to receive care,
and they were able to see that from that perspective, that there was something that clicked with those sitters in which they were able to move beyond the guilt that they had tortured themselves with and come into an acceptance that, okay, I don't have to feel that I'm a bad person.
My mother is coming through and saying that she understands now why things had to transpire in the way that they did.
Another example that I can give is one that's actually quite tragic.
There's a story that I used in there about a mother and her son who came to see me.
It turns out that what was revealed in the reading was that her other son had taken his own life and after he had murdered his girlfriend.
And there was a lot of information about the circumstances of that passing.
And you were given no prompting about this.
Correct.
There were substances, all of the stories in my books are transcribed directly from CDs or tapes with little embellishment.
The only thing I've changed or edited is for clarity and length of the stories.
The mother in this case was having an extremely difficult time with anger.
There's another unfinished emotion that people can have.
She was angry at the people who had given her son drugs.
She was angry at her ex-husband.
She felt in some way that he had contributed to this passing or something.
And the story unfolds.
The details are in there.
But she was dealing with this horrific anger that she was unable to come to closure with.
And he came through and took responsibility.
You asked me earlier, Howard, about do we have to be responsible for everything that we do?
And this is a story that really illustrates that, that indeed we do.
And I can't tell you how many readings I've done where they come through and they will say, you know, I'm taking responsibility for the way that I passed.
Now, usually that's somebody that, you know, used substances, put themselves in the wrong place at the wrong time, didn't listen to advice, or committed suicide.
Well, I was going to say, that is the question, isn't it?
Suicide.
That could be, but it doesn't necessarily mean that when they take responsibility.
When they do the life review, they're able to see that in this particular story that I'm, this particular case that I'm referring to, he did take responsibility.
After all, he did take someone's life here.
So it was a very tragic, very painful situation for his family.
However, when they left, I felt that their energy was much lighter than when they had come in.
So there's a lot of examples of that.
And what about two-way communication, obviously?
When somebody comes to you and they desperately want to get a piece of information across to the other side, you know, not traffic from the other side to here, but from somebody who's come to see you, and they desperately want to get a message across to somebody over there.
Is that more difficult?
Is that possible?
It's entirely possible.
In fact, people don't need a medium to get a message across.
And I'm constantly telling people that, that the other side, if there's one thing I've learned in almost two decades of communicating with the spirit world, is that they know about our thoughts and feelings.
And why?
How can they?
Because it's energy.
And because we go back into energetic form, pure energetic form, when we leave the physical realm, we shed the body, we are able to read or perceive energy more easily so that they do know about our thoughts and feelings.
There are many readings in which the sitter's or the receiver's feelings will be mentioned and the person in spirit will bring that through.
The other thing is that there's many readings that I'll say, you've already told them that.
When the person goes, can you tell them such and such, you know?
And I'll say, well, they're telling me that you've already told them that.
And the person starts laughing and says, oh, yes, I tell them that every day.
I can only think of a personal example with my mother again, the only thing I ever thought about her.
And I've actually said to her out loud sometimes, even here, you know, I was so busy for so many years that I didn't get my parents.
They're up in Liverpool.
That's a long way from London.
I was working on the radio in London on what was a very successful breakfast morning drivetime show here.
And it was all consuming.
And if I have any regrets, but a lot of people would tell stories like this, it is that I didn't, for a big period of time, get home nearly as much as I should have.
So you're telling me that in an instance like that, let's take me away from it, but in a situation where somebody has a feeling like that, the person on the other side will know.
Absolutely.
And as a matter of fact, they will come through in a reading and give some message around that.
And the other way, and I always like to talk about how can people receive this without someone like me?
And it's through intuition.
What happens is people have a hard time discerning intuition from their own thoughts.
And, you know, sometimes spirit will come through other people in that case to give us a message.
There are many, many examples of that.
So, you know, I think that people need to know that spirit is always communicating to us.
It's simply a matter of listening and, you know, to train yourself to be able to do that.
Are there any messages that you haven't communicated, that you could have communicated, things that you've picked up that for sensitivity reasons or for some other reason that you've decided, I don't think I should be passing that on.
You don't think it's appropriate?
Or do you just let it all come up?
No, I can honestly say I usually say whatever is there.
I'll give you an example Of that, that comes to mind.
I haven't thought about this in a long, long time, but for some reason I'm mentioning it.
There was a phone reading, and I do a tremendous amount of phone readings internationally and with great success.
So I was doing one of these phone readings, and the person came through, and they said they forgave the person.
They absolutely didn't hold it against the sitter that they had done what they had asked them to do as far as taking their life.
And I thought, that's very peculiar.
And then the person admitted that they gave them an overdose.
It was somebody who was severely incapacitated that had passed.
And the person, the sitter, was a relative who had injected them, you know, with an o with an intentional overdose.
So it was a mercy killing.
Yes.
And, you know, in the United States, we had Dr. Jack Kvorkian, who has since passed, you know, who did this sort of thing.
And the person was greatly relieved after the reading.
I mean, they, you know, they seem to be really relieved that they didn't have to carry that burden of feeling guilty about that.
There are many things I've seen.
Every time I say that it's the last thing, you know, I'm going to hear, you know, nothing can surprise me anymore.
Something else comes down the pike that totally rocks my world as far as what's coming through from the other side.
Yes, there are cases of abuse.
I remember I was in a group one time and the person I was communicating with on the other side, it was an abusive father of the sitter, and he was showing me a leather belt.
And I was skinning a clairvoyant image of him like that.
And I said to the woman, see me afterwards.
And I feel that discretion is very important.
I'm always using integrity in the readings.
And I didn't want to embarrass her or reveal things in front of the group.
So I told her afterwards, and she knew exactly what I was talking about.
And she said, you know, I really didn't want to hear from my father.
And I said, well, he's here to let you know that he has seen what he's done and that he's genuinely sorry for how he behaved.
Now, the picture that you paint, though, Carol, is of everything being all square and all fair once you get over to the other side.
Everything's sorted and people realize the error of their ways and everything equalizes and balances.
I wonder if any, do any animosities translate across the divide?
To sometimes, you know, somebody who I wonder if you ever get a situation where somebody said, look, I never really liked you.
Yes, that happens.
However, what happens is that when we go back into spirit, we begin to lose the ego, which is the personality is an extension of the ego.
And so from a personality level, that's where likes and dislikes and hatred and all of the emotions emanate from the ego.
When we go back into pure spiritual form, that starts to disintegrate.
We lose that.
We become the soul again and we become aware of how we lost connection with that higher self, with that soul self, and how we operated primarily from the ego or from the personality.
With that awareness, we recognize that we do indeed have to balance the karma that we created.
So, you know, that's why.
And I know it sounds like, well, okay, everybody has this great awakening.
And in fact, we do have to recognize that.
It may take some souls a long time, the equivalent of a long time, because there's no time in spirit.
But it may take some souls a long time to come to that reckoning.
Other souls may come to it more quickly.
It depends on the level of consciousness.
And people ask, well, is there really a hell?
Well, in a sense, there is.
There are the lower levels of the astral.
And they are darker.
They are closer to Earth in vibration.
And the lower levels are where people who would be criminals would end up.
So is that the kind of place we'd find Hitler?
I would suppose so.
I would suppose so.
That is where.
Now, I've been shown, and I've also, being a student of metaphysics, I've read many accounts of the other side.
And there are actually prisons of our own making on those lower levels.
So what are they constructed from?
Our own thoughts.
Everything is created by our own concept.
The closer that we can come to the higher self, meaning the soul self, which is love, which is compassion, forgiveness, service, the closer that we mirror that and that we connect with it when we're here, that's the better that we're going to do on the other side.
This all sounds scarily like a Robin Williams movie.
I can't remember the title of it.
It wasn't one of his more scars.
Is that the one where his girlfriend in the movie dies or rather commits suicide, I think, after he dies and he tries to get across from where he is to the bad place that she's created around herself and make her recognize him and try and take her back to the good part of the other side?
That sounds scarily like that.
Wonderful movie.
That's the movie.
Actually, Howard, I want to say this.
I've seen that movie a couple of times and it is probably the most authentic portrayal of the spirit world that I've ever seen.
Well, I have to say I've seen it a couple of times too, and it's always moved me to tears when I've seen it because it just hits you there, doesn't it?
It does.
And it is very real in the sense that, and I have seen the other side through clairvoyance, that the colors are very vivid.
They're brilliant.
Almost, There's really no earthly counterpart unless you're talking about neon lights.
Everything is fluid, and everything that exists here exists there.
There's a counterpart.
Now, there are levels, and this is what I was referring to.
So, the more that we can connect with that divine self, which is what I keep referring to as the higher self, and that's the, you know, the spark of the God energy, which within each person, I say the word spirit with a capital S because I believe that the word God is really misunderstood by a lot of people.
It's been misused.
So I say spirit instead, that the closer that we come into that alignment with that higher self, that the less karma we end up building and the less we're going to have to balance when we do die.
So in other words, the more work you do on yourself down here, the better it's going to be for you up there.
You said it all, baby.
Right there.
That's it.
That's a very, very important message for me.
And I can tell you, believe me, I'm going to take that one to heart.
Thank you for that.
This is your current project, obviously, the one about soul-to-soul communication.
Everybody who writes books like you do are always working on the next one.
What's the next one?
I've already gotten an idea.
And I don't believe it's going to be on mediumship.
It's going to be called Developing Compassionate Consciousness.
And it's from my work of being a medium, but also a healer.
I don't generally refer to myself as a healer.
Other people have referred to me in that regard.
I don't claim anything other than, you know, I've been told I have this ability to communicate with the other side.
However, I think that people need to know that we are shifting now into a greater awareness of unity and that we can't keep going like we've been going, you know, with destruction and certainly of the planet and, you know, with this unity consciousness and the shift that we're all going through at this time into a greater awareness that we're either going to pull together or we're going to perish as a species.
I think it's that simple.
I don't think I'm overstating it.
Yeah, no, I think I'm inclined to agree.
And I sometimes liken it to the fact that it's almost like being a spoiled kid.
You've had everything, seen everything, done everything.
And really, you've then got to come down to your core.
You've had every experience.
You've experienced every satellite television channel.
You've had every amazing experience in life.
But the real things that count are nothing to do with those.
We've had so many material experiences, most of us.
We're very lucky in the Western world.
But how many gadgets can you have?
And do they really make you happy?
I think that as a species, we're at that position now where this stuff is not making us happy anymore.
That's it, precisely that.
And we're destroying ourselves.
I don't mean to leave this conversation on a not uplifting note, but I think it's an important one to make, isn't it?
It certainly is.
You know, I see it all the time with people.
But I really believe that the hope that we are strong enough to be able to pull through it, I don't want to be negative either.
And I'm glad that you're taking this out.
Well, you know, the good thing we can take away from this conversation is the stuff about work on yourself here, love here, try and look on the positive side here because it's going to go better for you when you go forward to that Robin Williams existence in the next phase.
That's a very important thing to take away.
Carol, listen, we're out of time.
Thank you very much.
If people want to know about you, where do they go?
Yes, my website, which is soulvisions.net, that's S-O-U-L-V-I-S-I-O-N-S dot net.
And I can be found also on Facebook.
And you would just Google in my name there.
Also through OBOOKs, my publisher, which is in your wonderful country of England.
And O-Books publishes a lot of metaphysical books.
They've been a truly terrific publisher for me.
So you can find me on their website as well.
One quick question.
Are you near a main road or something?
I've heard periodic rumbling, and I've wondered whether you've got jet planes passing overhead or what?
Very busy road.
I apologize for that.
It's been fine.
It hasn't been too bothersome at all.
But listen, Carol, I'm delighted.
I know we had to postpone this for various reasons for a couple of weeks.
I'm glad we got around to doing it, and I hope we talk again.
Thank you.
Carol J. Obley, the book is called Soul to Soul Connections, and I'll put a link to her website on my website, www.theunexplained.tv.
My name is Howard Hughes.
Thank you very much for being part of this show.
And thank you as we come to the end of this year, 2012, for the wonderful emails that you've been sending me, for the great support.
You know, I don't think I could have continued with this without the level of support that you've given me.
And I'm very, very grateful.
There's only me here doing this show with Adam Cornwell, my webmaster at Creative Hotspot, getting it out to you.
Very small operation.
But as I've said before, I believe, especially as we go into this new year, operations like this one are going to be the shape of things to come.
And people like me are going to provide you with the information, the programs, the shows, the topics that get ignored by the mainstream media because basically there's no money in it for them.
And I think we're opening up a whole new vista in this new year.
It's taken some time to happen.
I've always said it will happen.
I did a couple of journalist training sessions back in 2009, I think it was, maybe 2010.
And I took with me a Wi-Fi radio.
And I said to the young journalists there, what's this?
And some of them said clock radio.
Some of them said, is that a Wi-Fi router?
None of them knew that it was a Wi-Fi radio.
And I said, this is the future of our medium.
It's going digital.
It's going online.
And I still believe that.
And I think we'll see more proof of that in 2013.
So let's shake up the system, you and I. Thank you very much for being part of this show, for your kind emails, and for your support.
I will be back very, very soon with another edition of The Unexplained.
My name is Howard Hughes.
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