| Time | Text |
|---|---|
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Bro, Go Swim To Sea
00:09:01
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|
| Where's everyone going? | |
| Oh, didn't we tell you? | |
| Probably in Budapest for two days. | |
| Yeah, we must have not told you on purpose so you don't come or go to the beach. | |
| I guess we must have accidentally sat around and accidentally decided to not tell you that we're all going to the beach, the Black Sea, because there's a festival there. | |
| And we thought, fuck that four-eyed cracker. | |
| Are we doing it for Kristen's birthday? | |
| Why are you saying we? We? | |
| You ain't going nowhere. Where's your time? | |
| I'm completely unprepared. | |
| Have a nice fucking weekend. | |
| I'll see you when you get back. | |
| Bye, Andrew. Oh, long time no see. You ain't getting rid of me. | |
| You ain't getting rid of me. | |
| You said I'm not invited. | |
| Well, look where I am. I'm right here. | |
| You're a four-eyed cracker. | |
| Nice to change. I'm not disagreeing with that, but I'm here. | |
| Gee whiz, Bailey's arrived. | |
| Golly gosh. I better listen up. | |
| Isn't that right, bucko? Nice to see you, Andrew. | |
| Oh my gosh, it's Tristan Tate. | |
| What the fuck are you doing here? You work for the paparazzi? | |
| You work for the BBC? Can I get a picture? | |
| Get out of my face. I'll knock your bitch ass out. | |
| We're at the beach. We're wearing mountain boots. | |
| Kristen, you're gonna get some hiking in today. | |
| Some good old-fashioned hiking. | |
| Yeah, I think so. Yeah? | |
| Oh, f***. Blinding. | |
| Nice. I'm going to stare right at the laser. | |
| You can't be trusted with the laser. | |
| Why do you have a laser? I don't know. | |
| I found it on the chair. Did you? | |
| He's trying to point it out. | |
| No. What are you talking about? | |
| Alright, I'm immature. Nice. | |
| You got some fans. Tristan, we have a beautiful beach. | |
| Let me make sure everyone can see the beach. | |
| We've been sitting here in this little restaurant for hours on end. | |
| The Romanian beach is not beautiful. | |
| The Black Sea in Romania is one of the ugliest beaches in the world. | |
| Anyone who wants to swim there is mentally retarded. | |
| Tristan, I want to go swim. | |
| See ya. Do you want to come get in the ocean with me? | |
| No. No? Have fun. | |
| You'd rather just sit at this table on your phone all day long? | |
| Yeah. Why? I'm wearing my hiking boots. | |
| We can do this in Bucharest. | |
| Win in Mamaya. We need to go to the beach. | |
| Alright. Let's have a vote. | |
| There's three black men, one brown man, and one white man at the table. | |
| Who wants to go swim in the ocean? | |
| No way. No way, Marcel wants to go swim in the ocean. | |
| Let's go. Marcel doesn't know how to swim. | |
| He's voting for his own suicide. | |
| Marcel, you can't swim. | |
| Bro, go swim to sea. Can you be... | |
| I can swim further than you need to sea. | |
| For sure. Marcel, I'm down for this. | |
| Marcel. I can swim further out than you can. | |
| No, because I'll do it to watch you drown. | |
| Marcel, I know you can't swim. | |
| Yeah, I can't swim. I'd do it. | |
| I don't like oceans. I'd swim fucking 200 feet out and back. | |
| I'd do it to get you. | |
| To watch you die. | |
| That's true. I'm not going to say that might be too far. | |
| That's a very Marcel way to die. | |
| That's a swimming contest when he can't swim. | |
| No one would be shocked. | |
| His last words. Can you beat me? | |
| Let me explain something to you. | |
| Everyone's like, oh, there's sharks in the Black Sea. | |
| Oh, sharks don't attack people here. | |
| You do realize that the Black Sea is connected to all the oceans and seas, you see? | |
| People be like, lakes are different. | |
| Lake is an independent thing, right? | |
| So there's monsters in lakes, obviously, but not sharks. | |
| So what people don't understand is they're like, oh, the Black Sea, there's no sharks. | |
| If I could, with unlimited energy, swim from here to the Caribbean, Did the shark, are there like off-limits? | |
| Are there like shark bouncers telling them not to come in this ocean? | |
| Could a shark come here if he wanted to? | |
| Yes. That means there are sharks. | |
| If you jump in this water, you are touching water molecules which are touching water molecules which are touching water molecules which are touching a shark. | |
| Somewhere! The Red Sea, the Caribbean, the Pacific Ocean, Australia, all the places there are sharks. | |
| That's it. Where in a specific ocean would a shark be? | |
| Where would a shark be? | |
| Could be here. | |
| Could be here. I don't know. | |
| I didn't talk to all the motherfucking sharks, but there could be one up here. | |
| A shark could very easily have swam here, and I don't know. | |
| There's no roadblocks, there's no dams, there's no fucking no-go zones. | |
| A shark could get here if it wanted to. | |
| It's hot enough. They could swim here if they wanted to. | |
| Therefore, there are sharks in that water by my logic. | |
| What about the whale bouncers? | |
| Marcel, you look like a bad man with that ice cream. | |
| Say something else, say something fucking else. | |
| Hahahaha. | |
| Do what I should man, do what I could man, do what I should man, do what I could man, | |
| do what I should man, do what I should man. | |
| Alex the man decided to take his Ferrari out for once. | |
| What's up Alex the man? | |
| All good, Billy. I'm fantastic. | |
| It's nice to see you. Welcome to the Black Sea. | |
| Where magic will happen. | |
| Tonight, of course. I'll be honest, I'm kind of underwhelmed so far. | |
| Billy, you didn't say nothing. | |
| Tonight is the real deal. | |
| Because we will go with all these supercars. | |
| And we will have fun. | |
| Loads of fun. Alex, I'm holding you to it. | |
| I know Andrew is mad at me because I brought him here. | |
| I know that. You've been insisting on coming to the sea for ages. | |
| But you know what? | |
| I was thinking about you, babe. | |
| Oh, thanks, Alex. Because I know that you never saw the Black Sea. | |
| I'm ready. And I want to put this in your portfolio. | |
| Thanks. Are we going to go jump in the sea later? | |
| Tomorrow? Tomorrow. Alright, deal. | |
| Deal. Deal. Nice. | |
| I said I'm going. | |
| You riding with me? Andrew's taking forever. | |
| He said be down here at 10 what time is it? | |
| Fuck Andrew. What time is it? | |
| 10.06. So Andrew's six minutes late and you can't be bothered to wait one more minute. | |
| Marcel's late is right. Sorry. | |
| Who is damaging the black stereotype worldwide by being late? | |
| And who was actually on time today? You were on time. | |
| No, Marcel was on time. No, sorry, Marcel's not on time. | |
| Yeah, exactly. I was on time. | |
| He is on time. Marcel is late again. | |
| Marcel's the black man who's always late, and he blames Nigel for the problem. | |
| So, let's get out of here? | |
| Yeah, let's get out of here. Do what I should name. | |
| Do what I could name. | |
| Do what I should name. Do what I could name. Do what I should name. | |
| Do what I should name. | |
| I ain't never ever said baby, ain't do no wrong I can paint a bird for you, but why no right from wrong? | |
| Cause I wanna make it, boom, a million dollars baby So much fun, oh my gosh | |
| Andrew, this is like Boop-A-Rat, but with sand And they have water. | |
| It's amazing. I love it. | |
| I like the way you kiss me. I can tell you miss me. I can tell it is, is, is, is. | |
| Not trying to be romantic. I'll hit it from the back just so you don't get attached. | |
| I like the way you kiss me. | |
| I can tell you miss me. | |
| I can tell you this, this, this, this. | |
| I try to be romantic. | |
| I hate it from the back. | |
|
Teach What You Can't Learn Elsewhere
00:02:13
|
|
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