Tate Speech - Andrew Tate - THE UNHAPPIEST MAN AT THE BEACH | Tate Confidential Ep. 60
Aired: 2022-07-24
Duration: 14:15


=== Stone Cold Loser (02:29) ===

[00:00:00]  Good shot there from Tate!
[00:00:02]  A lot of people say girls love money and that's not entirely true.
[00:00:20]  I am a star.
[00:00:40]  I'm a stone cold loser.
[00:00:42]  You're not. Look.
[00:00:45]  Stone cold.
[00:00:46]  You've been saying this all day. It doesn't make sense.
[00:00:49]  It makes sense.
[00:00:51]  Yesterday, in the spirit of having my party full of girls, I invited all the girls I know, and they started talking to each other.
[00:01:02]  I'm a stone cold loser.
[00:01:03]  Kristen accidentally created the worst mental disaster in the history of humanity.
[00:01:08]  Basically, it was like an avalanche.
[00:01:10]  All the anger and hatred for me piled up throughout the night until I was relaxing in the jacuzzi with my 60th drink.
[00:01:19]  And then it all exploded.
[00:01:21]  Do you remember the tsunami?
[00:01:23]  I remember part of the tsunami.
[00:01:24]  I remember the end. That's what happened yesterday.
[00:01:26]  That's what happened yesterday, but worse.
[00:01:27]  First to create the worst natural disaster in the history of humanity with girls.
[00:01:30]  They were all mad at me.
[00:01:32]  We were having sex with all these girls.
[00:01:34]  Why did you invite me? And I was like, well, you're all equally as invited as the other one.
[00:01:41]  Anyway, it was a disaster.
[00:01:42]  I'm a stone-cold loser. Stop filming me.
[00:01:45]  I'm too depressed. You're not.
[00:01:48]  Hello? What do you mean we're not going?
[00:01:50]  We're not going where? Say the name.
[00:01:53]  I've got ten girls at the beach sitting in Miami.
[00:01:56]  Maybe we should go. I think we should go.
[00:01:59]  Tristan, Amaya. Doesn't it sound good?
[00:02:02]  Amaya. Amaya.
[00:02:05]  Mamaya. Tristan, we can go there and stop boozing.
[00:02:10]  You've been drinking for three days.
[00:02:13]  Yes! Three days of non-stop boozing.
[00:02:18]  Non-stop. Stop it. When you dance with the devil, you wait for the music to stop.
[00:02:24]  There's no music. Listen, let's go to Mamaya.
[00:02:26]  There might be music for Mamaya. Exactly.

=== Keep Telling Andrew (02:32) ===

[00:02:30]  Find out who invited you to the movies.
[00:02:37]  I'm going to Alabama.
[00:02:45]  I keep telling Andrew, by the way.
[00:02:47]  You can record or not.
[00:02:49]  I keep telling Andrew I'm going to Alabama.
[00:02:50]  I feel like my troubles will be alleviated.
[00:02:53]  You're not going out, though.
[00:02:54]  I'm going to smile. There's nothing for you.
[00:02:57]  There's not.
[00:02:58]  That'd be very boring.
[00:03:02]  It's probably horrible.
[00:03:21]  Knew it. Probably can't go on take confidential, can it?
[00:03:27]  No, I think they can blur it out.
[00:03:29]  Oh, yeah, well if anyone knows what it is, I don't.
[00:03:32]  So Rob...
[00:03:39]  Amazing.
[00:03:40]  This is from a sister of Kanye, one of my colleagues.
[00:03:43]  Rory, who was it?
[00:03:44]  This is Oprah.
[00:03:45]  Uh, they think I'm mean to them.
[00:03:47]  Absolutely terrible.
[00:03:49]  Rory. Why do you do this?
[00:03:54]  No. What?
[00:03:57]  What now? Oh, not allowed a bit of pizza on a Friday night.
[00:04:02]  You have Domino's every single day.
[00:04:05]  Well, I was going to have it yesterday. Tristan beat me and took it off.
[00:04:08]  That's what I mean. We're trying to stop this.
[00:04:11]  Who's trying to stop what?
[00:04:13]  We're trying to stop the Domino's inflow into this house.
[00:04:16]  We! We, everybody!
[00:04:18]  Why do you think you got kicked out yesterday?
[00:04:20]  Get in the fuck out!
[00:04:22]  Get in the fuck out of my party!
[00:04:23]  Get him out! Get him out!
[00:04:25]  Get him out! Get the fuck out!
[00:04:27]  You! You! And your fucking Domino's!
[00:04:30]  You're fucking stupid!
[00:04:32]  Get the fuck out! Why are you trying to ruin my party?
[00:04:35]  Are you out of your fucking mind?
[00:04:37]  Fuck off! Fuck off!
[00:04:40]  Come on guys, get in! Fuck this guy!
[00:04:42]  Yeah, Rory's a cunt, isn't he?
[00:04:44]  Yeah, what are you doing?
[00:04:45]  Order fucking dominoes!
[00:04:47]  That was yesterday. The party's on, Vars, and I'm allowed now.
[00:04:51]  I'm really interested. Anyway, enough.
[00:04:53]  Do you want a cookie? Yeah, I'll have a cookie.
[00:04:56]  Well, that's that.
[00:04:58]  Rory owns the house. Rory owns the house, doesn't he?

=== Fucked Up Party Guests (09:13) ===

[00:05:02]  Come and tuck in, boys.
[00:05:04]  There's enough for everyone.
[00:05:06]  I've got to remember what you've owned in that house.
[00:05:10]  Doesn't it look delicious? It does smell good.
[00:05:12]  Does it not look delicious?
[00:05:14]  Tell me it doesn't look delicious.
[00:05:17]  It does look quite good.
[00:05:20]  Look at this. Look how many ingredients are on it.
[00:05:24]  Look at the stuffed crust. Jesus, get in there.
[00:05:27]  Get right inside there.
[00:05:32]  Rory, it's actually every day though.
[00:05:35]  It's literally every single day.
[00:05:37]  Every day. Someone said, It's going to kill you one day, but isn't life going to kill me one day anyway?
[00:05:44]  Yep. So you may as well eat your fucking pizza.
[00:05:46]  I may as well enjoy it. I think we can all conclude this is Luke's fault.
[00:05:52]  Yeah. How is this my fault?
[00:05:54]  It's Luke's fault. Kind of your fault, Luke.
[00:05:57]  May the Innocent be given the gift of eternal life.
[00:06:02]  Is Andrew going to suggest going to Mamiya?
[00:06:25]  Yes. That is his plan.
[00:06:26]  Yes, that's the plan. We're all going to Mamiya.
[00:06:28]  I'm not going. We are.
[00:06:30]  No, I'm not. Hours and hours and hours of traffic to sit in the LDSC sign.
[00:06:35]  I'd rather go to Brash, Hawaii, or other places I need to be.
[00:06:37]  But it'll be fun. Nope.
[00:06:40]  But Mamiya, that's where everyone wants to go.
[00:06:42]  Have fun. But that's where everyone wants to go.
[00:06:45]  Good. Go. Have fun. No, but you're a part of everybody.
[00:06:48]  No, I'm not. You are.
[00:06:49]  Are you a person? Are you part of the human race?
[00:06:53]  No. Are you a human?
[00:06:55]  No. Alright, he might actually not be human, but everybody, including non-humans, wants to go to Mamiya.
[00:07:03]  Everyone watching this right now would love to go to Mamiya.
[00:07:05]  They all would love to go.
[00:07:09]  You can't make me.
[00:07:12]  I suppose we go to Vamabeche.
[00:07:14]  No. Everyone I've ever asked...
[00:07:23]  You have to go get to get a fair trial.
[00:07:25]  If you don't go on a Saturday, I mean everywhere is shit.
[00:07:27]  Saturday is not real. But Tristan, we need you.
[00:07:35]  We do. You don't make me drive down to the fucking...
[00:07:40]  I was gonna say Mamaya, but that's even worse.
[00:07:43]  I'd rather go to Mamaya, and your chances of convincing you to go to Mamaya are zero percent.
[00:07:47]  We had a rule. Don't say Mamaya to each other.
[00:07:49]  I'm not saying Mamaya, I'm saying Bamabecha.
[00:07:51]  Oh, the crappier one. I don't know, is it crappier one?
[00:07:53]  Yeah, it's families. It's Black Sea for families.
[00:07:56]  It is. It's Black Sea for families.
[00:07:58]  I don't know what stories you've been watching.
[00:08:01]  All the clubs, all the stuff for the young people, or anyone with monies in Mamaya.
[00:08:05]  It's like fucking...
[00:08:06]  Well in that case...
[00:08:07]  Like for families and shit.
[00:08:11]  Like, less to ask.
[00:08:13]  Same call.
[00:08:14]  Shit.
[00:08:15]  Maybe it's not. Maybe it's a secret gem.
[00:08:18]  Like...
[00:08:20]  Bye.
[00:08:21]  So it could be the secret gem.
[00:08:23]  I'm gonna buy us more cookies while you convince Tristan.
[00:08:25]  Convince Tristan. I'm unconvincible. Fuck you.
[00:08:27]  Tristan. Why?
[00:08:29]  It might be the best place in the world.
[00:08:31]  Happiness might be there. It's also the party I had in my own house.
[00:08:34]  Yes. Yeah. Yep.
[00:08:36]  But maybe. Maybe just maybe.
[00:08:38]  That is where happiness is.
[00:08:40]  If you don't, we're going to sit at home with all the shutters up and the gates open.
[00:08:47]  Tristan, there genuinely might be happiness there.
[00:08:49]  We can't know for certain until we've been.
[00:08:51]  Yes, I can't. No, you can't.
[00:08:53]  I know this country better than all you motherfuckers from this table.
[00:08:55]  I'm not going to. But have you been there before?
[00:08:57]  No. So, there could be a secret pool of happiness hidden.
[00:09:02]  Nope. It could be, though.
[00:09:03]  It's very possible. So you're going to live your life behind the gate?
[00:09:07]  Yep. He's scared of happiness.
[00:09:09]  I'm under siege. He's scared of happiness.
[00:09:11]  So we need to flee the town.
[00:09:13]  See ya. With you.
[00:09:15]  We need to flee the town with you.
[00:09:17]  Yeah, now. I know Tristan's thinking it now.
[00:09:22]  It would be fun. Come on, go in.
[00:09:24]  We could leave. Stand between your toes.
[00:09:28]  Yeah, stand between your toes.
[00:09:29]  Sand's shit. An ugly beach.
[00:09:31]  We're going. Is the beach actually ugly?
[00:09:32]  It's called the Black Sea.
[00:09:35]  Alright, don't be racist. Yeah.
[00:09:37]  Come on, Tristan. Or Tristan, what if we could rename it The White Sea?
[00:09:46]  You can't put that on YouTube.
[00:09:49]  A few moments later...
[00:09:51]  Tristan!
[00:09:54]  Where are we? Amaya.
[00:09:57]  Wait. What? What do you mean?
[00:10:00]  I thought I would never see you here.
[00:10:03]  You tricked me. What do you mean tricked you?
[00:10:05]  By giving me a bunch of crappier options and making me drive past Mamaya.
[00:10:10]  So here I am.
[00:10:11]  I know it was a trick.
[00:10:14]  Zoe for Moosem.
[00:10:16]  I want to go to the other one.
[00:10:18]  I actually do.
[00:10:19]  I've been sitting here for an hour listening about how terrible it is.
[00:10:22]  Is it shit? Is Vamavete shit?
[00:10:24]  Is shit? It's like men with long hair who smoke weed.
[00:10:28]  Nice.
[00:10:29]  By you.
[00:10:30]  Tristan!
[00:10:40]  Tristan, can you pass me some Doritos?
[00:10:44]  Yes!
[00:10:46]  I almost blew my brains out.
[00:10:49]  Can I have some?
[00:10:54]  What do you mean, have some?
[00:10:55]  Well, if you don't give me some Doritos.
[00:10:58]  It's can you pass me the Doritos.
[00:10:59]  Can you pass me the Doritos?
[00:11:04]  Rory wants us to pass some Doritos.
[00:11:06]  No, fuck Rory. Nah, that's how I was digging.
[00:11:08]  I'm going to blow my fucking brains out.
[00:11:11]  Alright. They are fucking good.
[00:11:19]  This is the only reason I'm not dead yet.
[00:11:22]  You think? Yeah. Yeah, bro.
[00:11:25]  Shit. I can only imagine if he didn't pass me those Doritos right there.
[00:11:30]  Yeah, I think I'd just jump out the car.
[00:11:33]  I'm probably burning. Yeah, going 120.
[00:11:35]  This looks nice.
[00:11:54]  It does look nice, doesn't it? It does.
[00:11:56]  The police cars look very nice.
[00:11:59]  Yeah, the police don't look very nice, but they never did really look that nice.
[00:12:02]  Although the Rachel police are very nice.
[00:12:06]  Tristan, the ocean looks the same as any other ocean.
[00:12:09]  It does. It's the exact same.
[00:12:12]  Black sea my ass, it's not black at all.
[00:12:14]  🎵
[00:12:22]  Yeah, so...
[00:12:24]  I don't know how much is being filmed.
[00:12:25]  We went to Mamiya, Tristan...
[00:12:27]  We were supposed to come here and drive home.
[00:12:29]  Tristan overtook me, went to the expensive park, the expensive beach.
[00:12:32]  And then we fucked off when we came here because I wanted to see it anyway.
[00:12:35]  And it's about as shit as I thought it would be.
[00:12:36]  Yeah. Yeah.
[00:12:40]  Well, let's get some food. Where's Tristan?
[00:13:18]  He abandoned us.
[00:13:19]  What do you mean? He ran away.
[00:13:22]  We convinced him to come here eventually.
[00:13:23]  He came. He had some tea.
[00:13:26]  He left. This.
[00:13:30]  We're about to start boozing.
[00:13:31]  It's about, look, exactly. The moon is hot.
[00:13:34]  It's a full moon, too. Which means we must booze.
[00:13:38]  It's a sign. It's a sign.
[00:13:40]  We must drink copious amounts of alcohol.
[00:13:43]  We must poison ourselves.
[00:13:44]  To the limit. We'll start now.
[00:13:48]  We'll start now. Shit.
[00:13:50]  It's off. Where's the talisman?
[00:13:52]  I don't know. This makes no sense.
[00:13:54]  He's gone. Booze.
[00:13:55]  No. What? I know.
[00:13:57]  I don't think I've ever boozed without him.
[00:14:01]  This might be my first time.
[00:14:03]  Rory. Shit. I don't want to talk about it.
[00:14:06]  I need a drink. Is this how normal people drink?
[00:14:08]  I need a drink. This must be how normal people drink.
[00:14:11]  No talisman.
[00:14:13]  Works. He'd be perfect right there.