Tate Speech - Andrew Tate - IDIOT CUTS FINGERS OFF WITH MACHETE | Tate Confidential Ep. 27
Aired: 2022-07-21
Duration: 14:11


=== Hammer Time (12:57) ===

[00:00:00]  Good shot there from Tate!
[00:00:02]  A lot of people say girls love money and that's not entirely true.
[00:00:20]  I'm not sure if that's true.
[00:00:22]  I'm not sure if that's true.
[00:00:24]  Action!
[00:00:43]  I'm gonna go get my bag.
[00:01:40]  Yeah. And there needs to be a way in.
[00:01:44]  However, I need some sort of massive hammer.
[00:01:48]  And we don't have a hammer.
[00:01:50]  And also this gap isn't that big.
[00:01:53]  Ah, okay.
[00:01:57]  How am I going to do this with a spicy message?
[00:01:59]  I can hold it.
[00:02:01]  I think it seems so sharp.
[00:02:02]  Alright, hold that. Let me go find some sort of hammer.
[00:02:05]  If I can hammer that solid right here, it should break the wall.
[00:02:09]  I mean, I can't be much closer than that.
[00:02:11]  You don't think you can push kick it?
[00:02:14]  The question is, do we have a hammer?
[00:02:16]  T, you don't think you can kick it?
[00:02:17]  Put your boots on? No.
[00:02:20]  It's going to end a hit in your arm.
[00:02:22]  Huh? It's going to end a hit in your arm.
[00:02:24]  Nah, you won't miss. This ain't going to end nice.
[00:02:32]  Look, my foals. I'm from Marsh Farm.
[00:02:35]  I'm an expert for breaking this shit.
[00:02:37]  Yeah, this is one time I wish my stereotype was true.
[00:02:41]  I could have got you guys in there ASAP. Okay.
[00:02:45]  The key is, it has to be nice and level.
[00:02:48]  Not tilted up or tilted down.
[00:02:50]  I'm kidding. Oh, this is not going to end well.
[00:02:52]  Please Damn it Oh Yep Oh Oh, look at your head.
[00:03:11]  Oh, shit.
[00:03:13]  Okay. Alright.
[00:03:14]  This isn't gonna end well.
[00:03:16]  I'm sorry.
[00:03:19]  I'm sorry. Has it come off?
[00:03:26]  Duct tape?
[00:03:31]  I said this was gonna end bad.
[00:03:33]  Look, blood everywhere. God damn it.
[00:03:42]  How bad is it?
[00:03:44]  Where is it?
[00:03:47]  Oh shit!
[00:03:48]  Yeah. This is stitches.
[00:03:53]  Yeah. It's okay.
[00:03:59]  I can take the pain. To be fair.
[00:04:02]  Front keeping the machete. It was.
[00:04:05]  No, this is 100% my fault.
[00:04:06]  It was a bad idea.
[00:04:08]  I will accept this is 100% my fault.
[00:04:10]  Look, if I get the Wuhan virus from this open cup...
[00:04:20]  Okay. Now it's stopped bleeding.
[00:04:23]  It has. Good.
[00:04:28]  There. The bleeding's stopped.
[00:04:30]  Step one. Now you're definitely nothing done.
[00:04:36]  There's too many tape in this house.
[00:04:38]  Okay. So, I can't put liquor.
[00:04:41]  Stop bleeding. You're not lightheaded.
[00:04:43]  Trust me. I've lost far more blood in far better scenarios.
[00:04:48]  To be fair, I think we should take Luke for a nice pint right now.
[00:04:52]  A pint of Guinness. Yeah, a pint of Guinness.
[00:04:54]  A pint of Guinness will help you, bro.
[00:04:58]  A glass of wine. What do you think?
[00:05:02]  You are making a mess.
[00:05:04]  I'm making a mess. And there you are, ready to party.
[00:05:12]  Shall I book a table? No.
[00:05:15]  Why not? No, I don't care where those are at.
[00:05:18]  Just dumb shit. Getting locked out was Tristan's dumb shit.
[00:05:23]  I still blame Tristan 100%.
[00:05:25]  Luke was brave, but still just dumb.
[00:05:28]  Just dumb.
[00:05:30]  Unprofessionalism. It's not how I roll.
[00:05:32]  I'm professional. I like to get my shit, do my things right.
[00:05:35]  Locked out. People fucking around with keys.
[00:05:38]  Amateur hour, man.
[00:05:40]  Amateur hour. Now we've got injuries.
[00:05:43]  What's going on? Gruesome.
[00:05:45]  Gruesome, bro. Lost his fucking finger.
[00:05:47]  Why? Why?
[00:05:51]  Can we build some music?
[00:05:52]  I'd love some music. Alright, sure, man.
[00:05:55]  There you go. This is nice.
[00:05:59]  And some KFC. And now I don't have to work out tomorrow.
[00:06:02]  No burpees tomorrow. No burpees.
[00:06:04]  Oh, I see. This is all a plan.
[00:06:07]  Miles made me laugh. He goes, poor Luke.
[00:06:09]  When he's around you, his life is a disaster.
[00:06:11]  He should go back to his house in California.
[00:06:14]  I didn't have a house!
[00:06:15]  I didn't have a house. What do you mean house?
[00:06:18]  Here he gets the Wuhan virus, he gets his finger cut open, but it's better than being homeless.
[00:06:23]  It's much better than being homeless.
[00:06:24]  ...workings of a Romanian hospital.
[00:06:26]  So here's how they work.
[00:06:28]  They're not as good as most hospitals in Europe.
[00:06:31]  They're underfunded.
[00:06:33]  Everyone's too busy. There are massive lines to wait in, but everyone takes bribes.
[00:06:38]  A little bribe, you jump to the front of the queue.
[00:06:41]  Luke will be in and out of the A&E room within 15 minutes.
[00:06:44]  In England it would be four hours.
[00:06:45]  Why? No bribes. That's the problem with the NHS. They should bring back bribery.
[00:06:50]  Bribe your way to the front of the queue, bribe the doctors, bribe the guy doing the stitches.
[00:06:54]  I'm gonna get some bribe money before I go, and we're good.
[00:06:58]  Luke will survive. I will survive.
[00:07:01]  It's a pinky, too. I don't really need it.
[00:07:03]  If it wasn't for my bribe money, Luke might die.
[00:07:06]  I don't think I'd die. Don't worry.
[00:07:12]  I'll bribe your way to safety.
[00:07:13]  I'll bribe your way back to good health.
[00:07:15]  Oh, I forgot my mask, bro.
[00:07:18]  Oh, your Wuhan mask. We're going to get Wuhan.
[00:07:21]  Shit, that would be shit.
[00:07:23]  Now we're going to get Wuhan. Yeah, now I get Wuhan after.
[00:07:27]  Alright, then your death will be my fault.
[00:07:29]  Yeah. Again, I hope you don't, you shouldn't blame yourself for this at all.
[00:07:34]  This was my idea. You know, the thing is, it's a cocky finger.
[00:07:37]  It's not like you lost your hand.
[00:07:39]  Yeah, it's true. It could have been much worse.
[00:07:40]  I cut myself that much and then I stopped the bleeding by tying my finger off and I kept drinking for five hours and went to sleep.
[00:07:47]  And my finger formed back weird because it didn't sit together right.
[00:07:51]  Yeah. So, wham.
[00:07:52]  These things happen. I wasn't going to leave a party at my house, was I? Go get my bride bunny.
[00:08:02]  Save my cousin's life.
[00:08:07]  You bribe money to bribe everyone.
[00:08:11]  I'm not sure you can film the bribes.
[00:08:13]  Try to be low-key. Yeah.
[00:08:14]  Don't show their faces. Yeah.
[00:08:16]  Yeah. You're going to be the favorite by taking bribes.
[00:08:20]  I'm going to snitch on them. No.
[00:08:22]  So, I know how to fix the NHS in one simple step.
[00:08:26]  Ready? Forrest Johnson, if you're watching this, I know this blog's getting popular.
[00:08:29]  Here's how you fix the NHS. Every hospital, the problem is, because there's no bribes and shit, you've got to wait in all these massive-ass lines and wait with all these people who, like, sprained their ankle playing football or, like, their thumb's a bit swollen because they opened a fucking tin of sardines wrong.
[00:08:45]  Here's what you do. You hire one doctor in each hospital and he is the go-home man.
[00:08:52]  Now the go home man's job is to walk around the fucking waiting room, look at them motherfuckers and say, you, go home.
[00:08:59]  You, go home. You don't need to be here.
[00:09:02]  I was in hospital with Andrew.
[00:09:03]  He had a break on his hand after a kickboxing fight.
[00:09:05]  He needed surgery. You're waiting behind the queue of a guy who's too drunk, calling his wife names, waiting behind a guy who's sprained his ankle, playing football, sitting there with his shoe off, and he gets up and hobbles to the vending machine.
[00:09:17]  Go home! Why are you in the hospital?
[00:09:20]  Everyone leave! And the go home man is to get rid of these motherfuckers in the waiting room.
[00:09:24]  Then, there's a nice, fast, speedy service, and the time wasters get to leave.
[00:09:30]  Make sense horse jumps write that down That is good.
[00:09:43]  It's good.
[00:09:44]  Very bad for you. I've hired a translator who we will censor out.
[00:09:58]  I've hired a Romanian translator.
[00:10:02]  I know you guys could do a mask on scratch here in the United States.
[00:10:11]  Told you, everyone's got a mops brush.
[00:10:13]  So, apparently, Luke has sliced a tendon on his finger, and he needs surgery on his pinky finger, so he's going to be in hospital until tomorrow.
[00:10:32]  But that's whack, and I don't really trust these Romanian hospitals, so right now I'm going to take him to a private hospital and spend loads of money to fix his finger, because I'm a good cousin.
[00:10:45]  Shit, man. So, because I'm a good cousin, I'm going to a private hospital.
[00:10:53]  It's going to cost me thousands of euros to get your tent in and your picture.
[00:10:58]  But I also did kick your hand into a reception.
[00:11:02]  So, I feel I kind of owe you.
[00:11:06]  Not really. I shouldn't have gotten along before I was.
[00:11:10]  It wasn't better. The door didn't get open.
[00:11:15]  We didn't even succeed.
[00:11:16]  And you know what's happened now? Georgiana's called locksmith.
[00:11:23]  Alright, you go in and pay for the gas then.
[00:11:27]  What? No. Oh, I see.
[00:11:29]  You don't have hands. Yeah, I don't have hands.
[00:11:31]  Opening doors. Me and Andrew have a rule.
[00:11:33]  One of us pumps the gas.
[00:11:34]  The other one goes inside to pay for it.
[00:11:35]  You told him to pump the gas. Yeah, but I didn't know he was here.
[00:11:38]  I could have told him to pump the gas.
[00:11:40]  I chose pumping before I knew that guy was pumping gas for me.
[00:11:44]  I can't get it. Do you want anything?
[00:11:45]  Do you want a beer? No.
[00:11:47]  Are you sure? No. Red Bull?
[00:11:48]  Maybe a Red Bull. Wine?
[00:11:50]  No. So you don't want a beer or any wine?
[00:11:51]  No, I want a sandwich.
[00:11:53]  Whatever.
[00:11:57]  The filling ruffled.
[00:12:04]  Here's that beer you asked for.
[00:12:08]  I didn't want a beer. Don't worry, I'll open it for you.
[00:12:12]  You just put it between your wrists.
[00:12:14]  There you go. Nice, nice cold beer.
[00:12:17]  Thank you. Enjoy. I got your sandwich.
[00:12:21]  Alright, you put the beer away.
[00:12:23]  Alright, so you don't want the beer, then?
[00:12:25]  No, I don't. But the beer will make you strong.
[00:12:26]  No, it won't. Ah, this sandwich is cold.
[00:12:28]  I didn't realize it was cold. It's fine.
[00:12:29]  I'll take the cold one. Are you sure?
[00:12:30]  It's all the same, bro. Yeah, I don't care.
[00:12:35]  Somehow, you need the sandwich.
[00:12:37]  Now, the good news is, I'm busy.
[00:12:40]  So Georgiana is taking you to the hospital?
[00:12:42]  Mm.
[00:12:44]  No, it's not quite hospital.
[00:12:46]  Okay.
[00:12:48]  Where are you going?
[00:12:50]  Right.
[00:12:52]  We can't leave them. We can't leave them.
[00:12:54]  We should take them back to Floresta, where we were, when they abandoned Tanta.

=== Giving Anesthetic in Efficiency (01:12) ===

[00:12:58]  And tell them to give them the surgery.
[00:13:02]  Here's money for bribes, etc.
[00:13:06]  You can't bribe hospital people.
[00:13:08]  I know it's hard, but if you need money for the surgery, first thing you do, find out if it's local anesthetic or general anesthetic.
[00:13:18]  It's like a tiny cut here and here.
[00:13:20]  And they were saying anesthetic, and you said, oh, it's anesthetic.
[00:13:22]  But I don't know if it's the normal one that numbs your hands or like the one when you go to sleep.
[00:13:25]  Surely it's not that normal. It's kind of what you expect.
[00:13:50]  The people aren't that nice.
[00:13:52]  They're all efficient and there's – or not efficient.
[00:13:56]  You wait for hours, but they'll do the surgery.
[00:14:00]  They'll give you a bed, but the bed's with like five other people.
[00:14:04]  They'll give you food, but the food's like a hard-boiled egg and bread with cheese.
[00:14:08]  I can't open hard-boiled eggs.