Tate Speech - Andrew Tate - Tate on Ikea
Aired: 2022-07-04
Duration: 03:24


=== Afraid of IKEA (02:54) ===

[00:00:00]  Not much on earth I'm afraid of.
[00:00:08]  I'm afraid of heights.
[00:00:09]  And I thought that was it, but I've identified another fear of mine.
[00:00:14]  I'm afraid of IKEA.
[00:00:16]  I'm afraid of IKEA because there's something about IKEA that gets in my brain and just makes me feel empty and sad and soulless inside.
[00:00:28]  Last I went to IKEA, my girlfriend woke me up in the middle of the night and goes, This is the true story.
[00:00:34]  I was like, what?
[00:00:35]  She goes, you're talking about Ikea.
[00:00:37]  I said, you don't want to go to Ikea.
[00:00:38]  In my sleep.
[00:00:40]  That's how much I don't want to go to Ikea.
[00:00:43]  People say, why do you hate Ikea so much?
[00:00:45]  The furniture is good.
[00:00:46]  The furniture is good.
[00:00:47]  It's good quality and it's a good cost.
[00:00:50]  And I understand the whole Ikea concept.
[00:00:52]  I see why they're successful.
[00:00:54]  I just don't want to go there.
[00:00:56]  I don't want to go.
[00:00:57]  I don't want to get lost in the maze.
[00:00:59]  I don't want to write down what I need.
[00:01:01]  I don't want to find it afterwards and put it on the tray.
[00:01:04]  I don't want to try and get everything in the car when it doesn't fit.
[00:01:07]  I don't want to come home.
[00:01:07]  I don't want to open flat pack furniture.
[00:01:10]  No one wants to put flat pack furniture together.
[00:01:12]  No one wants... I don't want to fuck around looking for that screw that's never there.
[00:01:16]  I don't... I don't want... The whole experience is just negative to me.
[00:01:20]  There's nothing about it that I enjoy.
[00:01:22]  And when I walk through 34 year old, 6 out of 10, who was hot when she was younger, who spent all her years doing cocaine and getting banged by someone else, who's now married some beta male loser.
[00:01:35]  And he's walking around with her and she's like, do you like these curtains?
[00:01:38]  What do you think of these curtains?
[00:01:39]  And he's like, yeah, they're all right.
[00:01:41]  And you see some dude, some unhappy guy being dragged around by his wife pretending he gives a fuck about the nuts.
[00:01:47]  He doesn't give a shit about the fucking bedside table!
[00:01:49]  He doesn't care he's asleep!
[00:01:50]  He doesn't care!
[00:01:51]  And you've taken this guy, he only works five days a week, fucking doing a job he hates, just to keep you in a house, you fucking dumb bitch.
[00:01:58]  And on his day off, you have to drag him to Ikea and force him to look at fucking bedside tables.
[00:02:02]  He doesn't fucking care!
[00:02:03]  He wants to leave like I want to leave!
[00:02:05]  There's no happy man in that place!
[00:02:07]  It's bullshit!
[00:02:09]  On top of that, they deliberately designed it like a maze.
[00:02:12]  And it's done on purpose, so you can't fucking get out.
[00:02:15]  It's claustrophobic.
[00:02:16]  I'm fucking, I'm in the middle of IKEA.
[00:02:18]  I found the one thing I need, and now I want to leave.
[00:02:21]  I'm a smart man.
[00:02:22]  I need a fucking GPS on my fucking phone.
[00:02:25]  Gotta load up fucking Google Maps to get the fuck out of the place.
[00:02:28]  It's bullshit.
[00:02:29]  I hate it.
[00:02:30]  I fucking hate IKEA.
[00:02:31]  Everything about the experience pisses me off.
[00:02:33]  Here's how I do IKEA.
[00:02:35]  I tell my girlfriend, go to IKEA and get what you want.
[00:02:38]  Find a handyman online and put it together.
[00:02:40]  I'm busy.
[00:02:41]  That's how IKEA is done.
[00:02:43]  I don't fucking step foot in that place ever.
[00:02:45]  Because the last time I did, I had genuine, literal nightmares.
[00:02:50]  Take shinkai.net.
[00:02:51]  The products on there, every single one of them is absolutely top quality.

=== Can't Get Out (00:29) ===

[00:02:54]  We have the PhD course, which is guaranteed to change your perspective and change your dynamics with women.
[00:02:59]  If you want more women, get the PhD course.
[00:03:01]  My fitness program, I don't go to the gym.
[00:03:03]  I stay in perfect condition with 30 minutes of exercise a day from home.
[00:03:07]  The fitness program allows you to stay in shape, without messing around, without driving to the gym, in the comfort of your own home for 30 minutes a day.
[00:03:14]  The chess program, you need to understand why chess must be mastered.
[00:03:17]  If you don't understand, watch the chess video.
[00:03:19]  As for the t-shirts, mugs, everything else, there's nothing better than walking around with a Tate t-shirt on and everyone knows you're not a bitch.