This Past Weekend - Theo Von - #657 - Bobby Lee Aired: 2026-05-07 Duration: 01:53:34 === The Omikasa Origin Story (11:20) === [00:00:00] Today's guest is a stand up comedian, a podcaster, and one of the heroes of my heart, this beautiful little Leechy. [00:00:09] You know, he's my good friend, and I'm so thankful to spend time with him. [00:00:13] Today's guest is Mr. Bobby Lee. [00:00:32] Oh, no, leave that on. [00:00:33] That shit's tough, dude. [00:00:34] It's heavy. [00:00:35] It is? [00:00:35] Okay. [00:00:36] Sorry. [00:00:36] It's heavy. [00:00:38] Dude, you look like Daniel Day Lewis a little bit. [00:00:40] I can't shoot. [00:00:44] Dude, you look like Idris Alba to me, dude. [00:00:46] You think so? [00:00:47] Yeah, dude. [00:00:48] Bring up Idris Alba. [00:00:49] Yeah, you know what Idris looks like, dog? [00:00:51] Just in the dick, you mean, huh? [00:00:52] No, your dick is medium. [00:00:54] Fair. [00:00:55] Salve. [00:00:56] No, I got that limited cock. [00:00:58] You got a limited cock, dude? [00:00:59] Yeah, dude. [00:01:00] One and a half bars, bro. [00:01:02] That's it on this one, man. [00:01:03] Mine's a minion. [00:01:04] Yeah, you got that minion dick. [00:01:06] Oh, I like that. [00:01:11] Hard worker. [00:01:12] They do. [00:01:13] Yeah. [00:01:15] They're very hard worker. [00:01:16] They have overalls, goggles. [00:01:17] Yeah, bro. [00:01:18] If your wiener's going in with goggles, shoot it. [00:01:20] It's got the whole thing, dude. [00:01:21] You're a champ. [00:01:23] You're a chink. [00:01:23] Hey. [00:01:25] Hey, dude. [00:01:26] I can't say that. [00:01:27] But here's the rule you could say it, I could say it. [00:01:29] That's my rule here. [00:01:30] Well, I can say what? [00:01:33] What can I say, dude? [00:01:35] Oh, peace. [00:01:36] Peace. [00:01:38] These guys, peeky peeky, dude. [00:01:42] Bro, good to see you, man. [00:01:43] Let me get let me just get in my zone, guy. [00:01:45] Okay, yeah. [00:01:46] You want to pray first? [00:01:46] We, I'm happy to pray if you want. [00:01:48] Can I start? [00:01:49] Yeah, you want to pray? [00:01:50] Yeah, do we have to hold hands? [00:01:51] No, we can put our hands however you want. [00:01:54] It will get warmer in here. [00:01:55] I know it's cold, yeah, it's really cold. [00:01:57] I feel like an Eskimo right now, though. [00:01:58] They're charging us more for heat. [00:01:59] I think Israel's doing it. [00:02:01] Israel's definitely doing a lot of things. [00:02:03] I mean, I mean, they're like, what do they do? [00:02:07] I know, yeah, what do they do? [00:02:12] What do they do? [00:02:13] Right? [00:02:14] You're not saying. [00:02:16] Yeah. [00:02:16] Yeah, let's do a prayer, man. [00:02:17] You want to lead us in it, man? [00:02:18] Yeah, yeah. [00:02:19] But, you know, when I do prayers, dog, look at me first before we even get into it. [00:02:23] Yeah, for sure, man. [00:02:24] I don't like getting interrupted. [00:02:27] Okay. [00:02:27] So I like to finish what my prayer is going to be. [00:02:29] You know what I mean? [00:02:31] And it may go long. [00:02:32] Okay. [00:02:33] Yeah. [00:02:33] No, dude, I'm just happy to be here with you. [00:02:34] It didn't matter. [00:02:35] I love you. [00:02:35] I'm going to give you a hug first. [00:02:49] That's the truth, bro. [00:02:50] When the streets call me, bro. [00:02:51] When the streets call you, they call me. [00:02:54] You know what I mean? [00:02:55] We have the same caller. [00:02:58] Dear heavenly fuck. [00:02:59] Hold on. [00:03:00] What do you need? [00:03:01] What are you doing? [00:03:03] Huh? [00:03:04] Sorry. [00:03:06] Bear Dick? [00:03:07] That's your new name, dude. [00:03:08] Bear Dick. [00:03:09] Give it to him. [00:03:10] Really? [00:03:11] Oh. [00:03:12] Loved your type. [00:03:14] Bear Dick. [00:03:15] What do you mean? [00:03:15] Yeah, he loves it, dude. [00:03:17] Yeah, he loves the chunk factor. [00:03:20] You know what I mean? [00:03:21] Because if I was a gay guy, You know what I mean? [00:03:23] You know, I've done some stuff. [00:03:25] Like, what do you mean, man? [00:03:27] I've licked a couple. [00:03:28] No. [00:03:29] Yeah, just like a. [00:03:31] I just want to know the flavor. [00:03:34] Oh, wow. [00:03:34] Yeah, yeah. [00:03:35] What happened? [00:03:35] What do you mean, what happened? [00:03:36] Or, like, you know, what's the flavor? [00:03:38] Or, yeah, I don't want to know. [00:03:39] Yeah, salty. [00:03:40] Pool. [00:03:41] Well, what do you mean? [00:03:43] What part do you lick the top or the bottom? [00:03:45] Licking the bottom. [00:03:46] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:03:48] That's gay. [00:03:48] Licking the top, though? [00:03:50] And gay. [00:03:50] It's just tasty. [00:03:51] I mean, I don't know. [00:03:52] No, it's omokasa. [00:03:53] Yeah. [00:03:54] You ever go to a omokasa restaurant? [00:03:55] You don't know what you're going to get, dude? [00:03:57] That's what I'm doing, dude. [00:03:58] Omokasa, dude. [00:03:59] Right? [00:03:59] And sometimes, dude, it's like I go to omokasa with my girl, right? [00:04:03] And there's certain things she just, I go, you have to eat it. [00:04:07] You know what I mean? [00:04:08] Like, we went to, you know, I've been in the jungle. [00:04:12] Have you been? [00:04:12] I did not know that. [00:04:13] I mean, I know historically. [00:04:15] Look at my face. [00:04:17] Yeah, yeah. [00:04:17] What do you mean historically? [00:04:19] No, I mean, I'm just saying. [00:04:21] What do you mean historically? [00:04:22] I just mean like over. [00:04:23] Yeah, I'm not Nam. [00:04:24] I know. [00:04:24] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:04:25] I'm Korean, dude. [00:04:27] I know. [00:04:27] Yeah, there's no jungles in Korea, dog. [00:04:30] I don't know. [00:04:30] So when you say historically, you do know. [00:04:32] I'm saying historically. [00:04:34] Historically, you've been watching Platoon. [00:04:36] You've been watching, you know what I mean? [00:04:38] All kinds of movies like Hamburger Hill, Letters of Iwo Jima. [00:04:41] Well, Desert Jungle, Letters of Iwo Jima. [00:04:45] It's good. [00:04:46] It is a good movie. [00:04:47] Let's give Clint Eastwood a round of applause. [00:04:48] Did he make that? [00:04:50] I think so, dude. [00:04:51] I think he made it. [00:04:52] I didn't even know that. [00:04:53] He made it when he was 116 years old. [00:04:55] It's amazing. [00:04:56] God. [00:04:56] What amazing work. [00:04:57] So anyway, I've been in the jungle, and when I say jungle, I mean Waikiki. [00:05:01] Oh, you were out there? [00:05:03] I didn't go in it, but I saw it. [00:05:05] Bro, what were you doing out there? [00:05:07] Dude, I was doing all kinds of shit out there. [00:05:09] Were you doing ayahuasca or something? [00:05:11] No, no, no. [00:05:11] I go out there on vacation. [00:05:13] And so, you know, there's a lot of cool omokase restaurants there. [00:05:16] Okay. [00:05:17] And what is omokase for people that don't know it? [00:05:19] Do you know it? [00:05:20] I think so. [00:05:21] Well, then tell me about it. [00:05:22] I think so. [00:05:24] Tell me, because I don't think you fucking know, dog. [00:05:26] Omokase. [00:05:27] Well, hold on, let's sound it out. [00:05:28] Oma. [00:05:28] Oma. [00:05:29] Kase. [00:05:29] Which is, Oma in Korean is mom. [00:05:31] Mom. [00:05:32] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:05:33] And kase is a house. [00:05:35] Oh, at his house. [00:05:36] Okay. [00:05:36] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:05:37] No, I don't know what Omokasa stands for, but I know what it is. [00:05:41] Okay, Omokasa. [00:05:41] Okay, so do you know what it is? [00:05:42] I do not. [00:05:43] Okay, so an Omokasa restaurant is a set menu. [00:05:48] Yeah. [00:05:49] Right? [00:05:50] And they feed you in order, they'll tell you what you're going to get from beginning to end. [00:05:55] And generally, my rule, if I'm with a date, you know, I have a girlfriend now. [00:06:01] What? [00:06:02] Yeah, dude. [00:06:03] Whoa, dude. [00:06:05] What's happening, dude? [00:06:06] So what are you going to do? [00:06:06] You're not going to do it. [00:06:07] This is what I do, dude. [00:06:08] You know, what am I doing right now, dude? [00:06:09] Why are you doing if you have a girlfriend? [00:06:11] No, I'm killing myself, dude. [00:06:12] Oh, yeah. [00:06:13] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:06:13] I told Makase. [00:06:14] Yeah, yeah. [00:06:15] I choke myself and I kill myself in the heart, dog. [00:06:17] Okay. [00:06:18] I ain't jerking off, guy. [00:06:19] Oh, good. [00:06:19] Yeah, As long as you ain't jerking off. [00:06:22] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:06:22] You got to do it 21 times a month, though. [00:06:24] That's what I heard. [00:06:25] Masturbate? [00:06:26] Ejaculate. [00:06:27] No. [00:06:27] Yeah, because you'll get testicular cancer. [00:06:31] No. [00:06:31] Oh, yeah. [00:06:31] There's guys that, like some people, their eyes go bad or whatever. [00:06:34] Like mine? [00:06:35] Huh? [00:06:36] Hello? [00:06:37] No. [00:06:37] Anyway, um, Amakasa is this. [00:06:40] You look like a bug that played for the Red Hot Chili Peppers right now, dude. [00:06:44] You look good. [00:06:45] I look good, dude. [00:06:46] Yeah. [00:06:47] I look real good. [00:06:48] So, Omokasa is like a set menu. [00:06:51] So, we went to one place. [00:06:52] You look like a fireman, like in San Francisco, kind of like a little bit. [00:06:56] Yeah, I do. [00:06:57] But I was in the fire. [00:06:59] Yeah, right? [00:07:00] Or you just said something. [00:07:01] I got lost and I'm like in the fire, like I don't know what to do. [00:07:04] That type? [00:07:05] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:07:06] And you brought just a mouthful of water. [00:07:07] Yeah, yeah. [00:07:08] That's the gayest thing, dude. [00:07:09] If you're at a fire and kind of a gay firefighter shows up, he's just spitting water out of his mouth or whatever. [00:07:15] You look like an albino raccoon. [00:07:16] Oh, yeah. [00:07:18] Anyway, let me finish with the Omokasa thing and get to my point, dog. [00:07:21] Sorry, dude, I'm interrupting you. [00:07:22] Yeah, yeah. [00:07:23] I do want to pray. [00:07:23] So, anyway, we'll do the prayer later. [00:07:26] Doug Mai is officially mayor of Chinatown. [00:07:29] Chinatown, let's go. [00:07:30] Can I finish my Omikasa? [00:07:32] Yeah, that's it. [00:07:33] Why'd you do this? [00:07:34] What do we do? [00:07:34] Oh, we're just bringing up him for us. [00:07:35] I understand that, but we're going into a thing, and then you bring up some Chinese firefighter. [00:07:39] He brought that shit up. [00:07:40] Yeah, so the Beardick did that. [00:07:42] I'm not Beardick. [00:07:43] Yeah. [00:07:44] Oh, you're not Beardick? [00:07:45] That's Beardick. [00:07:45] Oh, yeah, yeah. [00:07:46] What are you? [00:07:47] Premi Nick. [00:07:49] Nick was a premature baby, and look how far he's gone. [00:07:51] Oh, yeah. [00:07:52] Did everything get mature? [00:07:55] I think my skull size is a little small, but everything else, yeah. [00:07:59] Anyway, he's 32 years old, but he'll never hit nine months, you know? [00:08:04] So, that's the thing. [00:08:06] Lest we forget, bro. [00:08:07] Lest we forget, dude. [00:08:09] So, we're at this restaurant, and they gave us the bones of a fish. [00:08:15] And they flavored it like it was a potato chip, but it had the eyes and the brain, but just the bones of the fish. [00:08:21] No. [00:08:22] And you had to eat it, right? [00:08:24] And it's like, I ate it, and I looked at her, and I go, you just got to eat it. [00:08:29] Right? [00:08:29] So when a penis comes out, you kiss the tip. [00:08:32] Oh, yeah. [00:08:32] That's basically why I. [00:08:34] Yeah. [00:08:35] What? [00:08:36] That's why I was. [00:08:37] Well, that's why I told you before that when I said that I've kissed the tip of a penis, you know what I mean? [00:08:44] What do you mean? [00:08:44] Why do you keep doing that? [00:08:45] It just makes it back in my neck hurting. [00:08:46] I know, but it's a flavor thing. [00:08:48] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:08:49] That's how we got into the Omikasa thing. [00:08:51] It's a flavor thing, dude. [00:08:52] Yeah. [00:08:53] Well, if you went to Omikasa, whatever they gave you, you'd eat it, right? [00:08:56] Try it. [00:08:57] Okay. [00:08:57] Yeah, yeah. [00:08:58] If they had a penis, you'd kiss it. [00:08:59] It's like a glory hole for food or whatever. [00:09:02] Like, yeah, a glory hood for food. [00:09:06] Well, it's like whatever's in there, that's what you get, or whatever. [00:09:08] That's what you get, yeah. [00:09:09] So, no matter what they give you, I just eat because it's supposed to be like, you know what I mean? [00:09:15] Elegant, or you know what I mean? [00:09:16] Avant-garde, yeah. [00:09:17] Avant-garde. [00:09:18] It's an Epstein class. [00:09:19] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:09:20] You know what I mean? [00:09:21] You know what I mean? [00:09:24] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:09:25] It's like off the Epstein tasting menu or whatever. [00:09:27] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:09:28] It's just like young fish or whatever. [00:09:29] No, no, no, no, please, stop. [00:09:30] Sorry. [00:09:31] Let's move on. [00:09:32] Let's move on. [00:09:32] We'll take that out. [00:09:33] Yeah, yeah. [00:09:33] Maybe take that out, but, um, So basically, I don't know how I got into the pee pee thing, but let's do a prayer. [00:09:39] Okay. [00:09:40] No, but you said you had tasted a little wiener or something. [00:09:42] Or you had a little. [00:09:43] Years ago, I tasted the tipping one. [00:09:46] Was it on a. [00:09:48] What type of person was it on? [00:09:50] Color? [00:09:52] Yeah. [00:09:52] Or style? [00:09:54] Color. [00:09:56] Can we go style? [00:09:57] Yeah, style. [00:09:57] Rave. [00:09:58] Oh, at a rave. [00:10:00] No, a raver. [00:10:00] A raver. [00:10:01] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:10:01] So you just took a nip off a little raver wiener. [00:10:03] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:10:04] You know what you're saying? [00:10:05] Which, what you do? [00:10:06] Yeah. [00:10:07] It's cultural. [00:10:08] Oh, yeah. [00:10:09] Glow sticks. [00:10:10] Yeah. [00:10:10] You'd have glow sticks, right? [00:10:12] Oh, and then you would, right? [00:10:15] And then, yeah. [00:10:16] And then you're, yeah. [00:10:18] Every once in a while, you just come out, right? [00:10:21] And you take a little taste of the salty tip. [00:10:23] Yeah, dude. [00:10:24] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:10:25] It's cultural. [00:10:26] So basically, you've been on a couple major laser shows, is what you're saying. [00:10:30] That's exactly what I'm saying. [00:10:31] Just say that. [00:10:32] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:10:33] Just say that. [00:10:33] You never kiss a tip? [00:10:34] Oh, no, man. [00:10:35] Yeah. [00:10:35] How about you? [00:10:36] Have you had opportunities, too? [00:10:38] I mean, I've definitely, I remember when I was a child, you always tried to get a real close gander at your own wiener. [00:10:44] I don't know Southern language, do you? [00:10:46] But I'm just saying. [00:10:47] It to me, like I'm sure if you're a kid, a lot of young, uh, we can't talk about children, but yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:10:52] A lot of people that haven't grown up fully will try to, like, I've never tried it, will try to just get it. [00:11:00] I never tried it. [00:11:02] I have, I never got it. [00:11:04] If I had been raised with yoga, right, and I could bend that way, you know what I mean? [00:11:09] Like, I had, like, a you know, I mean, a master, yeah, as a kid, you know, I mean, Bobby's son, you know, we have to strengthen your spine, yeah, and you go, why, master. === Mastering the Spine (15:22) === [00:11:20] Right? [00:11:21] So one day you can kiss your own tip. [00:11:24] Oh. [00:11:24] Right? [00:11:25] Like, I never had that master. [00:11:26] Yeah. [00:11:27] Yeah, yeah. [00:11:27] Fuck karate. [00:11:28] Yeah. [00:11:28] Yeah, fuck jujitsu, right? [00:11:30] Karate's just kicking like invisible people. [00:11:33] I know. [00:11:33] It doesn't work. [00:11:34] Yeah. [00:11:34] Also, in the UFC, you never say, he's a karate guy. [00:11:37] Right? [00:11:37] Right? [00:11:38] It's always jujitsu, right? [00:11:40] Yeah. [00:11:40] Or boxing or kickboxing, right? [00:11:42] Yeah. [00:11:42] It's never like it's never tai chi. [00:11:44] Yeah. [00:11:44] Yeah. [00:11:45] No one's out there at UFC doing tai chi, right? [00:11:48] Am I right? [00:11:49] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:11:50] So it's like, you know, yeah, it's never one of his credits. [00:11:53] Is like his mom wanted him to be able to defend himself, you know? [00:11:56] Yeah, rarely you see Taekwondo in UFC. [00:12:01] Right. [00:12:01] It's usually boxers, kickboxers, jujitsu guys, wrestlers. [00:12:06] What is some of the stuff Nick knows, actually? [00:12:07] So let's go to Nick on that. [00:12:09] Yeah. [00:12:09] Yeah, I mean, he named all the big ones. [00:12:11] There's a few select karate guys, Stephen Wonderboy Thompson, MVP. [00:12:15] Yeah. [00:12:15] But jujitsu and Taekwondo, I think, are the biggest from traditional martial arts. [00:12:20] From traditional. [00:12:21] But generally, it's wrestling. [00:12:24] Kickboxing, boxing, right? [00:12:27] 100%. [00:12:28] I think Holloway is like one of the best strikers with his hands in the biz. [00:12:33] You know what I mean? [00:12:34] So, you don't even know who he is? [00:12:36] I do. [00:12:36] He's Max Holloway. [00:12:37] He's actually, he was right. [00:12:38] He lives and trains where you just were, right? [00:12:40] I know. [00:12:41] And Waikiki. [00:12:41] And I smelled his essence around me. [00:12:43] Did you see him? [00:12:44] No, I called him to see if he wanted, you know what I mean? [00:12:46] But he was going through something. [00:12:47] Yeah. [00:12:48] You know, as fighters do. [00:12:51] Dear Heavenly Father. [00:12:52] Okay, you want to pray? [00:12:53] Let's do it. [00:12:54] I just started. [00:12:55] Okay, sorry. [00:12:57] Dear Father, Lord and Savior, Father of all, thank you so much for the gratitude of the fish in the sea. [00:13:06] Amen. [00:13:07] And the deep fish, like the Greenland shark, who lives 500 years. [00:13:12] 500 years ago. [00:13:13] Does he really? [00:13:14] Sorry, go on. [00:13:14] No, see, that's what I'm talking about. [00:13:16] I forgot. [00:13:16] What do you mean? [00:13:18] Look at me right now, dude. [00:13:19] No, just look at me right now, dude. [00:13:20] Can I admire you in the prayer? [00:13:21] Yeah, because the prayer stopped because you interrupted. [00:13:24] All right, what? [00:13:25] Don't do that. [00:13:26] All right. [00:13:27] All right. [00:13:29] Greenland shark, right? [00:13:30] Thank you for the trees, nature. [00:13:33] Thank you so much for the war. [00:13:42] What war do you mean, son? [00:13:44] The war within my heart. [00:13:46] You know, the war that I want to start with Theo because I did one line in his movie and he put me on the fucking poster. [00:13:57] That's my prayer, dude. [00:13:58] Sorry, come on. [00:13:58] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:13:59] I mean, as if. [00:14:01] I was in the movie. [00:14:03] He put me straight up in the middle of a movie poster, dear Lord, when I had one fucking life. [00:14:10] Sorry for swearing, Lord, but I'm very angry. [00:14:12] I have a war in my heart. [00:14:13] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:14:15] You know, one life. [00:14:17] And no, I'm not done, right? [00:14:19] I also had a patch over my face. [00:14:21] So most people didn't even know it was fucking me. [00:14:24] You know, Lord, please give me the forgiveness, you know what I mean? [00:14:27] And the solitude and the confinement and the love for Theo. [00:14:33] Amen. [00:14:34] Amen. [00:14:34] Yeah. [00:14:37] Oh, thank you, God. [00:14:38] Watch, boys. [00:14:38] Go watch it in your local theater and video and streaming. [00:14:41] Streaming and streaming. [00:14:42] You know what I mean? [00:14:43] Bro, you were, first of all. [00:14:44] No, no, first of all, what? [00:14:45] First of all, what? [00:14:48] First of all? [00:14:49] No, first of all, what? [00:14:50] Because let me tell you something, Butto. [00:14:51] I'm going to take my glasses off, dude. [00:14:54] Okay. [00:14:54] Let me tell you something, Butto. [00:14:56] I'll take my fucking beanie off. [00:14:57] You will? [00:14:57] Yeah. [00:14:57] All right. [00:14:58] I'm going to put another hat on. [00:14:59] Yeah. [00:15:00] I'm going to put this hat on. [00:15:00] All right. [00:15:01] All right. [00:15:06] Why is this hat over there? [00:15:08] I don't know. [00:15:09] This one's over here, but I'm going to pick that one up. [00:15:11] Let me tell you something, Butto. [00:15:12] All right. [00:15:13] Okay. [00:15:15] I'm not afraid of you. [00:15:17] We're friends. [00:15:18] Yeah, we're friends. [00:15:18] Yeah, we're deep. [00:15:19] You know what I mean? [00:15:20] We were in the war. [00:15:22] Okay. [00:15:22] Yes, we were. [00:15:23] Yeah, we were, right? [00:15:24] This hat gives me like gone with the wind vibes. [00:15:29] This hat gave me gone with the wind vibes. [00:15:34] Okay. [00:15:34] Or gone with the nyins. [00:15:36] Yeah, nyins. [00:15:37] Yeah, yeah. [00:15:37] You know how you spell that word? [00:15:38] N-G-U-Y-Ns. [00:15:40] No, what is it? [00:15:41] Spell it out N-G-U-Y-Ns. [00:15:46] N-G-U-Y-N, the most common Vietnamese. [00:15:49] Last name. [00:15:50] Surname, yeah, yeah, Nguyen. [00:15:51] Nguyen, yeah, oh, that's how they said Nguyen. [00:15:54] Okay, well, but also a lot of people look that up. [00:15:57] A lot of white people, if they're asking, like, if something's gonna happen, they'll say that. [00:16:05] What do you mean? [00:16:06] What do you mean that Nguyen, yeah, like, what's up, Nguyen? [00:16:11] No, oh, you'll be like, dude, are we going or not? [00:16:14] And you'll be like, yeah, Nguyen. [00:16:18] Oh, I see, don't you think? [00:16:19] Or is that yeah, I've never heard that. [00:16:22] You know what I mean? [00:16:23] Yo, what was that party like? [00:16:24] You know what I mean? [00:16:25] That was niggwin like a motherfucker. [00:16:27] No, that's not it. [00:16:28] That's not it? [00:16:29] I don't know how to use it. [00:16:29] That's racial. [00:16:30] I'm saying. [00:16:31] No, that wasn't racial. [00:16:33] This hat seems racial, I think. [00:16:35] Yeah, yeah. [00:16:35] This hat seems very racial. [00:16:37] No, dude. [00:16:38] Dude, Bobby. [00:16:38] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:16:39] Just take the hat top. [00:16:40] We'll put them back on in a minute. [00:16:41] I'm going to go back. [00:16:41] Let's go back to our regular pirate. [00:16:42] All right. [00:16:43] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:16:43] Put these on too. [00:16:44] Yeah, yeah. [00:16:44] I'm going to put my glasses on. [00:16:45] Let's get regular. [00:16:47] So it was just a joke. [00:16:48] I'm grateful that you used me in the movie. [00:16:51] Yeah, for sure, dude. [00:16:53] I wish you weren't available for more days, for one. [00:16:55] That's insane. [00:16:56] You were shooting something. [00:16:57] That's pure insanity. [00:16:58] I have nothing going on. [00:17:00] It's your schedule. [00:17:00] This was 18 months ago. [00:17:02] Yeah, it was 18 months ago. [00:17:03] Yeah. [00:17:04] So, anyway, I'm glad I wasn't involved in that. [00:17:07] I agree. [00:17:08] We probably should take you off of it. [00:17:09] What? [00:17:10] I didn't make this poster, but I did. [00:17:11] But I should have said something then. [00:17:12] I should have asked you. [00:17:13] No, it's fine. [00:17:15] I mean, you use, here's what it is. [00:17:17] If you had a line in my movie, I would put you on the poster. [00:17:20] Yeah. [00:17:20] Yeah, because it's like, you're a big draw. [00:17:23] But I should have asked you about it, though, probably. [00:17:27] Can I be honest with you? [00:17:28] Because I like to set boundaries now. [00:17:29] Yeah, because I'm on Lexaprow and. [00:17:32] I just got off. [00:17:34] Two ships passing in the night. [00:17:36] Why? [00:17:38] Like through the night of Hormuz, the Strait of Hormuz. [00:17:40] Yeah. [00:17:41] You know what I mean? [00:17:42] We're just slowly passing through the night. [00:17:44] Yeah, like we don't have any oil. [00:17:45] We have no. [00:17:46] Yeah, we only have like plastic containers. [00:17:49] Yeah, yeah. [00:17:50] Right? [00:17:50] Yeah. [00:17:51] Right? [00:17:51] We're just collecting semen. [00:17:52] Yeah, or seeds. [00:17:54] Yeah, we're collecting seeds. [00:17:55] Yeah, seeds and semen. [00:17:57] We're just held. [00:17:57] We're just wandering. [00:17:58] We're lost. [00:17:59] We're lost. [00:17:59] Yeah, yeah. [00:18:00] But anyway, um. [00:18:02] I don't even know why we got, oh, yeah, we're passing that. [00:18:04] I'm on Lexapro. [00:18:04] Yeah. [00:18:05] So, you know, I like to set boundaries, right? [00:18:08] And I like to be real. [00:18:09] And I want to say something real to you is that. [00:18:13] I'm ready to hear it. [00:18:15] Sorry. [00:18:16] I get it. [00:18:17] I'm ready to hear it, man. [00:18:18] No, I just said it. [00:18:19] Okay. [00:18:19] Yeah, I mean, so I get the bus bus. [00:18:20] It was just a joke, the prayer, right? [00:18:23] And, you know, I mean, but I have to admit, when I first saw it, I was annoyed. [00:18:28] Yep. [00:18:30] You know, and I have to tell you that as a friend. [00:18:31] Thank you. [00:18:32] Yeah, yeah. [00:18:35] I'm grateful that I'm, you know, when people ask me to do things, you know what I mean? [00:18:38] But, um, you felt like we were using you. [00:18:42] Yeah. [00:18:43] A little bit. [00:18:44] Yeah. [00:18:44] You know what I mean? [00:18:45] But, Being on set with you guys and having fun, I already expressed myself to Dave. [00:18:50] You know, I mean, I didn't know that he didn't even mention it to me. [00:18:52] No, he showed me it. [00:18:53] I was in my mind, I didn't say it then, but later when I saw him, I said it. [00:18:57] So, and then he goes, Next movie will get bigger role. [00:19:01] Yeah, this was the much wider use poster. [00:19:04] I think. [00:19:04] Oh, here we go. [00:19:06] What are you, Pakistan? [00:19:09] Huh? [00:19:09] You're Pakistan all of a sudden trying to be middle. [00:19:12] This dude's poster, yeah, nah, dude. [00:19:14] Right, we're at war, guys. [00:19:16] Yeah, dude, nothing you can do. [00:19:18] All right. [00:19:19] He has a 15 point plan. [00:19:20] I got a 10 point plan. [00:19:22] They ain't mixing. [00:19:24] Right. [00:19:24] It's like, I got a six point plan. [00:19:25] I got a 40 point plan. [00:19:26] Yeah, 40 point plan. [00:19:27] Yeah, it ain't happening. [00:19:29] So, my point is this, okay? [00:19:31] You know, I really like, you know what I mean? [00:19:33] Because I've heard your stance on Rogan. [00:19:36] You know what I mean? [00:19:38] About your feelings toward, you know, what's going on, especially in that area of the region. [00:19:43] I really like. [00:19:43] In the Middle East? [00:19:45] No, dude. [00:19:46] In Austin? [00:19:47] Alhambra. [00:19:48] Oh, yeah. [00:19:49] You know what's going on over there, dude. [00:19:50] Yeah, bro. [00:19:51] The Bobo shops are. [00:19:52] Shutting down. [00:19:53] We're shooting pool with J Rod today. [00:19:56] No. [00:19:56] You follow J Rod, Diddy? [00:19:57] He's a bad guy. [00:19:57] I don't know J Rod. [00:19:58] No, but my point is that I really, you know, I think I agree with you with a lot of these things that you're saying. [00:20:04] You know what I mean? [00:20:04] I don't say it out loud because, you know, I'm a libtard. [00:20:10] I've always have and always will be. [00:20:12] I've always have been. [00:20:13] You think so? [00:20:14] Oh, yeah. [00:20:14] I mean, we're all liberal about some stuff. [00:20:16] I think we're all just whatever. [00:20:17] I'm full blown libtard. [00:20:18] Oh, you are? [00:20:19] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:20:20] I'm full blown, yeah. [00:20:21] I don't give. [00:20:22] Fuck about no immigration. [00:20:23] I didn't know that, man. [00:20:24] And it's okay. [00:20:25] I don't know. [00:20:25] I mean, I don't, you know, I don't talk about politics, but I just want to. [00:20:30] Well, you never talk about it. [00:20:31] You never have, never will. [00:20:33] You never do. [00:20:33] Yeah, yeah. [00:20:34] This is the first time I've ever brought it up. [00:20:36] Yeah. [00:20:36] Really? [00:20:37] And I want to say to you that I like what you're saying about it. [00:20:40] That's all. [00:20:42] Well, it's confusing. [00:20:43] It's confusing. [00:20:44] And, you know, all you have to do is you have to ask a question and you go, why is this happening? [00:20:50] And you do some research, right? [00:20:53] And then you figure it out. [00:20:54] You have critical thinking. [00:20:56] And you go, and then you look at the past, and it's a little confusing, you know. [00:21:01] And I have a lot of questions. [00:21:03] Why are you looking at me like that? [00:21:04] Yeah, I'm just trying to absorb what you're saying. [00:21:06] Yeah, these are things that you know. [00:21:07] Huh? [00:21:08] Hello? [00:21:09] No, I'm just saying, right now, you look like a wasp that listens to 311, kind of. [00:21:15] Why does it always have to be a put down? [00:21:20] You're right, sorry. [00:21:21] You know what I mean? [00:21:22] Yeah, you're right, dude. [00:21:23] I'm giving you a compliment. [00:21:24] You're looking like a mosquito from some sort of southern land. [00:21:27] Yeah, dude, you know, put it back on, then I'll give you a better one. [00:21:29] Yeah, give me another one. [00:21:30] All right. [00:21:31] You look like the, uh, oh, you look like the eighth dwarf, homie. [00:21:34] Yeah. [00:21:35] You know what I'm saying? [00:21:37] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:21:38] There's like sleepy, sneezy, dopey, yeah, and ramen. [00:21:42] No, no, it's got to be E. [00:21:43] Oh, yeah. [00:21:44] Sleepy, sneezy, dopey, gookie. [00:21:47] No. [00:21:47] Why? [00:21:48] Gookie is not a word, I don't think. [00:21:49] Gookie monster. [00:21:51] Oh, okay. [00:21:53] We're the gookies. [00:21:55] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:21:56] I remember that. [00:21:57] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:21:57] Have you seen the gookies around here? [00:21:59] Yeah, yeah. [00:22:00] Oh, chocolate chip gookies. [00:22:02] Yeah. [00:22:02] And it's just like Chinese guy with a fucking handful of chocolate. [00:22:05] I remember the days of your back. [00:22:08] I was thinking about some of the stories you told back where you grew up and stuff. [00:22:11] Yeah. [00:22:12] Yeah. [00:22:12] And it's so weird. [00:22:13] And I thought to myself, what if there was a Korean Theo Vong? [00:22:17] That'd be so funny. [00:22:19] Oh, back when I lived, you know, in Busan, we had a guy in our neighborhood. [00:22:23] Yeah. [00:22:24] We called him Crazy Acho. [00:22:26] Left eye was Chinese, right eye was Japanese. [00:22:28] We don't know what were communists. [00:22:30] I mean, that's like, you know what I mean? [00:22:33] Some of your stories, you know what I mean? [00:22:35] And the people that you grew up with, Is so, it's so, so believable and true. [00:22:41] Would it translate to y'all's culture, you think? [00:22:43] My culture and y'all's culture? [00:22:44] We have the same fucking culture. [00:22:46] What the fuck are you talking about? [00:22:48] What, you know what I'm saying? [00:22:48] No, no, no. [00:22:49] I don't know what you're saying. [00:22:50] I'm an American. [00:22:51] Bobby. [00:22:52] No, no, no. [00:22:53] I'm tired of this shit. [00:22:55] I'm not saying anything. [00:22:56] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:22:56] You are. [00:22:56] Bobby, I'm not. [00:22:57] You're doing this thing again. [00:22:58] I'm not. [00:22:59] I've never done anything. [00:23:00] Oh, you're saying you're trying to separate us when we're the same. [00:23:04] You and I have the same empathy. [00:23:06] All right. [00:23:07] You're a very sensitive guy. [00:23:09] Are you not? [00:23:10] Yeah. [00:23:12] I think that you have a tad bit of ADHD. [00:23:16] Okay. [00:23:16] Okay. [00:23:17] And these are things that you, that's why we're friends because I understand these things about you. [00:23:22] You know what I mean? [00:23:24] And you're a sensitive, empathetic gay dude, really. [00:23:28] Whoa, bro. [00:23:29] Whoa, dude. [00:23:30] I mean, let's be real. [00:23:31] Huh? [00:23:32] And you've kissed the tip. [00:23:33] I've never had. [00:23:34] Yes, you have. [00:23:34] You've kissed the tip, dude. [00:23:35] Dude, I never even went by anybody's winner in my whole life. [00:23:39] One dude, like, was trying to get us to, like, play Navy in his bathtub or whatever. [00:23:43] And, dude, I fucking, I didn't re enlist. [00:23:45] Re enlist? [00:23:46] Huh? [00:23:47] I didn't re enlist. [00:23:47] Oh, you didn't re enlist? [00:23:49] Really? [00:23:50] All right. [00:23:50] No, I wouldn't, dude. [00:23:51] I signed up for the draft for that game. [00:23:53] Yeah, yeah. [00:23:54] I was on that boat, dude. [00:23:56] But if you, if you, if they, who would you fight for if they had a draft? [00:24:02] I mean, here's the thing, dude. [00:24:04] If they, because I'm 54, so they said there's a draft and we're extending the age to 55, I think I have a compelling reason to get out. [00:24:12] What is it? [00:24:13] Well, one of them is that I will kill more of us than them. [00:24:19] You think? [00:24:21] And I'll go in a circle and just do a full circle. [00:24:27] Right? [00:24:27] And they're like, dude, you killed Jim, Frank. [00:24:30] You know what I mean? [00:24:31] Like a little, like a yard waterer. [00:24:33] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:24:34] I would kill more people than them, right? [00:24:37] I also have, like, you know what I mean? [00:24:39] I get hungry real quick. [00:24:41] Like some of these boats that are out there, I mean, U.S. vessels are out there, they're running out of food, right? [00:24:47] So if I was in a jungle fighting in a war, I would just bite and eat. [00:24:51] Trees and shit. [00:24:54] I would eat anything. [00:24:55] Dude, if you got shot, I'm going to take some. [00:25:00] Well, you'd eat part of my body? [00:25:01] There's some. [00:25:02] Well, what part would you have first, you think? [00:25:04] Be honest. [00:25:07] The tip, dude. [00:25:08] Ooh. [00:25:10] Bro, just have it all if you're going to have it. [00:25:12] No, no, just the tip, dude. [00:25:13] If you eat the tip off, dude, it's going to fucking look so weird. [00:25:15] You're dead. [00:25:16] Who gives a fuck, bro? [00:25:17] I'm a POW, I said. [00:25:19] No, I want, dude, this is what I want. [00:25:20] If I was a POW, yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:25:22] Don't eat just the half of my wiener. [00:25:24] You know what I would do? [00:25:24] I would talk. [00:25:25] I would cut all of it, your testicles and your penis, right? [00:25:28] And I would tuck everything inside a hole. [00:25:31] And then at your funeral, people are going to go, Theo, what was a fucking trans man? [00:25:36] Yeah. [00:25:36] No. [00:25:37] I do tricks. [00:25:38] Dude, what if I was a trans man and they buried me in a trans am, dude? [00:25:45] I'll be there at the funeral. [00:25:45] But no. [00:25:46] But dude, that'd be crazy. [00:25:47] Like, yeah, just don't eat. [00:25:49] Draft wise, would you. [00:25:51] Well, let me finish this up. [00:25:51] Do you just threaten to eat my wiener in a fictional scene? [00:25:54] I was kidding, dude. [00:25:55] Okay. [00:25:55] Yeah, yeah. [00:25:56] Well, say that then. [00:25:57] Because. [00:25:58] There's a comedy podcast. [00:25:59] Yeah, I understand that. [00:26:00] You understand that? [00:26:01] But when you show up with your energy, man. [00:26:03] What do you mean by energy? [00:26:04] Some of it seems today to be a lot and a little bit threatening. [00:26:08] Is that fair to say? [00:26:11] A little bit, a little bit. [00:26:12] Yeah, you say, I'm going to have a. [00:26:13] I understand again, huh? [00:26:14] Yeah, you're just like, I'm going to. [00:26:15] Yeah, yeah. [00:26:17] No, when you say, I'm just going to nip off the end or whatever. [00:26:20] Yeah, I would never do that, dude. [00:26:21] You know what? [00:26:22] But I don't want my wiener to be missing the end of it and people are like, what happened? [00:26:25] I'm like, it got nipped or whatever. [00:26:27] I do. [00:26:28] Dude, the honest truth. [00:26:30] Can we say nipped or not? [00:26:31] Absolutely. [00:26:32] Yeah, yeah. [00:26:33] Yeah, yeah. [00:26:34] I wouldn't nip, right? [00:26:36] I wouldn't lick. [00:26:38] You mean? [00:26:38] I wouldn't gargle. [00:26:39] Oh. [00:26:40] You mean? [00:26:41] I wouldn't smell. [00:26:41] What are you talking about? === MoonPay Crypto Picks (03:57) === [00:26:42] No, what I'm saying, if you died in the war, and I would literally take your tags, right? [00:26:51] I would bury you. [00:26:53] I'd make a little, you know what I mean, tombstone. [00:26:56] Here lies comedian Theo Vaughn, and I wouldn't do anything, you know what I mean? [00:27:01] You wouldn't do anything in my body to desecrate it? [00:27:04] No, dude. [00:27:05] But everyone around me, other soldiers, yeah. [00:27:08] You think so? [00:27:08] Yeah, because I know you. [00:27:09] There's no way I'm going to eat the tip or eat any part of your body. [00:27:13] I would, dude, I'd fucking have a little bit of your ass, boy. [00:27:16] Not your ass, but just say it like, boy. [00:27:18] Sorry, buddy. [00:27:20] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:27:20] Let me put this hat on. [00:27:21] Yeah, yeah. [00:27:21] I'm going to put my hat on. [00:27:23] Bobby, can you scoot your chair to the left a little? [00:27:25] What? [00:27:25] Just scoot left a little when you get seated. [00:27:27] Okay. [00:27:29] You know what time it is, cut? [00:27:32] Prize picks. [00:27:33] Prize picks. [00:27:35] Who you with? 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[00:29:22] You verify your identity once, fund it with a bank transfer, Apple Pay, Venmo, PayPal, whatever your grandma's giving you some money, and your agent can get to work. [00:29:33] Your keys stay on your device, so you stay in control. [00:29:37] And here is the truth it works across major chains like Bitcoin, Ethereum, Solana. [00:29:46] Eh, Solana? [00:29:47] MoonPay already powers crypto for millions of people in over 180 countries. [00:29:52] Check out MoonPay Agents. [00:29:55] At moonpay.com slash agents, A G E N T S. Crypto is risky and it can be volatile. [00:30:02] So do your own research and trade responsibly. [00:30:05] Dude, I remember the summer, bro. [00:30:07] I remember the first time I'd ever seen a, what's it called? [00:30:13] A eagle, bro. [00:30:15] First time I'd gotten out of school for summer vacation, right? [00:30:20] And you remember, you know, that last day of a school year, you get out. [00:30:23] And I remember walking down the street because my bike, somebody stole my bike. [00:30:28] And I saw that beautiful thing, and I couldn't, I didn't even know they had, you could put that much just dang, just quality beauty on the something. [00:30:36] I didn't think you could get something that nice unless you rented it from like an Ashley Furniture or something. === Vietnam War Buffet Memories (14:40) === [00:30:40] But anyway, iconic summer moments deserve an iconic drink. [00:30:45] It's Mountain Dew, an American original. [00:30:48] The refreshing citrus kick of Mountain Dew is the perfect companion to your American summer adventures. [00:30:56] When I get me a little Mountain Dew, man, I like the diet because I, you know what I'm saying? [00:30:59] Because I get that rattle in me. [00:31:01] So now I like that Mountain Dew diet. [00:31:03] And my cut, I get to hold my little god nephew sometimes. [00:31:06] And he's a baby. [00:31:07] And if you just, dude, I give me a little Mountain Dew diet in me and you put my god nephew in my arms and dang. [00:31:13] Amen, brother. [00:31:15] Enjoy the refreshing citrus kick of Mountain Dew, an American original, tasting great since 1948. [00:31:24] Look for American Dew limited time packaging or find it in stores near you at MountainDew.com. [00:31:31] That's MountainDew.com. [00:31:36] You look like Tokyo Drift AF, bro, right now. [00:31:38] Thank you, man. [00:31:39] Another one, huh? [00:31:41] Huh? [00:31:41] She's gonna keep going. [00:31:42] I'm just seeing Tokyo Drift as fuck. [00:31:44] It's a fun game. [00:31:45] Movie, I mean. [00:31:46] Huh? [00:31:46] Hello? [00:31:47] Yeah, I'm just saying. [00:31:48] Okay, so in a war, now what would you do? [00:31:51] In a war? [00:31:51] Yeah. [00:31:53] I would. [00:31:54] Okay, hold on. [00:31:54] Yeah, yeah. [00:31:55] Chill out, man. [00:31:56] We're fighting again. [00:31:57] Let me give you the circumstances. [00:31:58] Okay, give me the circumstances. [00:31:58] Yeah, yeah. [00:31:59] We're doing Vietnam 2. [00:32:01] Ooh. [00:32:01] There's gotta be a sequel. [00:32:03] Yeah, because we lost the last one. [00:32:04] Did y'all? [00:32:06] Y'all? [00:32:07] I'm always on your team. [00:32:10] What about y'all? [00:32:12] I was born here, guy. [00:32:13] Okay. [00:32:13] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:32:14] I know. [00:32:15] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:32:15] You do. [00:32:16] Yeah. [00:32:16] But I'm psyched. [00:32:16] Yeah, yeah. [00:32:17] I'd still be, dude, if I was an American soldier, I'd still be wearing this hat. [00:32:20] You would? [00:32:21] Oh, yeah. [00:32:21] That's good. [00:32:22] Yeah. [00:32:22] So I could sneak on to the other side. [00:32:24] Bro, we would be in the best military ever. [00:32:26] You and I? [00:32:27] Yeah. [00:32:27] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:32:28] Dude, we would fucking stay up all night, partying. [00:32:31] Oh, dude. [00:32:32] I would relapse. [00:32:32] Eating Twizzlers. [00:32:34] Oh, yeah, dude. [00:32:35] We'd relapse on opium, dude, that our own government would sell to its soldiers. [00:32:38] Yeah. [00:32:40] We'd be shooting opium. [00:32:42] Yeah, listening to Purple Haze. [00:32:43] Some folks are born. [00:32:44] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:32:47] We'd be cutting our. [00:32:49] What is it good for? [00:32:51] Absolutely nothing. [00:32:52] Say it again. [00:32:53] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:32:54] And we're like shooting opium, right? [00:32:56] And they're just like kissing tips. [00:32:57] Yeah, dude. [00:32:58] And no, yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:33:00] You'd be kissing the tip with music, heroin, just the tip. [00:33:04] Bro, I just want to be straight and help my country. [00:33:07] I'm straight too, dude. [00:33:08] I have a girlfriend now. [00:33:09] Dude, here's what we'd be doing we'd be staying up late and we'd get pissed off. [00:33:11] Yeah. [00:33:12] Cut one of my nipples off and just throw it and you catch it in your mouth. [00:33:15] Oh, that'd be cool, dude. [00:33:16] That's how fucked up we'd be. [00:33:17] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:33:17] That's partying. [00:33:18] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:33:19] That's partying, dude. [00:33:20] Oh, yeah. [00:33:21] Yeah, yeah. [00:33:21] And then I would sew it back on your nip. [00:33:23] Yeah. [00:33:24] Yeah, dude. [00:33:25] Good God. [00:33:26] What is it good for? [00:33:28] Absolutely nothing. [00:33:29] Say it again. [00:33:31] Born in the USA. [00:33:33] Yeah, please. [00:33:34] Anyway, we're Vietnam 2. [00:33:36] Vietnam 2, what would you do? [00:33:37] You're drafted. [00:33:38] Theo Bond drafted. [00:33:39] Okay. [00:33:40] Born in the USA isn't a Vietnam song. [00:33:43] That was written way after. [00:33:45] I know, but I'm just saying. [00:33:46] And don't sing that song then. [00:33:47] It doesn't even apply to both of us. [00:33:48] So I won't sing it. [00:33:49] Let's go on. [00:33:50] What did you ask me? [00:33:50] What do you mean, bro? [00:33:53] Dude, I'm USA all the way, dude. [00:33:55] Are you? [00:33:55] Oh, yeah, dude. [00:33:57] Well, guess what? [00:33:58] One of my favorite restaurants are Cracker Barrel. [00:34:01] Oh, it is? [00:34:02] Am I American or what? [00:34:03] Cracker Barrel. [00:34:05] Yeah. [00:34:06] Really? [00:34:06] I think it's the best breakfast. [00:34:07] Dude, it's a good breakfast spot. [00:34:09] It is. [00:34:09] Sometimes they get. [00:34:10] But when I walk in in the South, there always is like everyone stops working when I walk in. [00:34:15] Yeah. [00:34:16] Well, there's kind of like a moment of remembrance. [00:34:18] You think so? [00:34:19] They're not saluting me. [00:34:21] No. [00:34:21] They're like, what the fuck is this? [00:34:23] Well, it's because some of it's just like there's like an old, like I remember this, like my stepdad, and he was in the wars, right? [00:34:30] And he. [00:34:31] What war? [00:34:32] I don't know. [00:34:33] Was in at least two, two, two out of three. [00:34:36] And he went to, he would take my mom to the Chinese buffet. [00:34:40] It was called in the war. [00:34:41] No, no, in town. [00:34:42] He would take this, they had like this place called Yellow Bellies or whatever. [00:34:45] It was a Chinese buffet or whatever. [00:34:46] I don't remember what it was called. [00:34:48] See if you can look it up. [00:34:49] But he would take my, he would take my mom over there. [00:34:52] I'm not even joking. [00:34:53] Huh? [00:34:53] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:34:55] Yeah. [00:34:55] He would. [00:34:57] I'm not joking, Bobby. [00:34:58] No, it's not called Yellow Bellies. [00:35:00] It was. [00:35:00] There's no way it's called Yellow Bellies, dude. [00:35:03] Bro. [00:35:03] Yeah, yeah. [00:35:04] It was. [00:35:04] Was called Yellow Bells. [00:35:05] Okay, okay, okay. [00:35:05] And they changed the name. [00:35:06] They changed one of the letters on the sign. [00:35:08] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:35:11] To like Yellow Bells or whatever. [00:35:12] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:35:13] Oh, that's better. [00:35:13] Because the eye burnt out or whatever. [00:35:15] So it was just like Yellow Bells and it was just like. [00:35:17] Oh, it was a belly with an eye at them? [00:35:19] Yeah. [00:35:19] Oh, that's so funny. [00:35:20] Yeah, see, yeah, yeah. [00:35:23] That's what I'm saying. [00:35:24] It's a play on words. [00:35:25] Oh, yeah. [00:35:25] But it's. [00:35:26] So anyway, what happened was he would, after dinner, he would always go sit my mom in the car and then he'd go back in and he would like apologize to some of the workers that worked there. [00:35:36] For things that had happened when he was in different conflicts. [00:35:39] Yeah. [00:35:42] Wow. [00:35:42] But we've never been in a conflict with China. [00:35:46] It was a Chinese restaurant. [00:35:47] Yeah. [00:35:47] So your uncle would go into a Chinese restaurant and apologize to a group of people. [00:35:51] It wasn't my uncle. [00:35:52] It was somebody that my mom smashed. [00:35:53] All right. [00:35:53] Whoever. [00:35:54] Your mom smashing. [00:35:55] Yeah. [00:35:56] So we've never been in a war really with China. [00:35:59] So he's apologizing to a group of people that they have no idea what the fuck he's talking about. [00:36:06] They know. [00:36:06] No, they don't know. [00:36:08] Chinese people are like, oh, thank you so much for apologizing because we were feeling so bad about it. [00:36:14] No, but dude, not everybody, this happens a lot in small towns, Bobby, and this is the truth. [00:36:19] A lot of small towns, if they open up a place that is ethnical in the town and it's different, they will hire anybody that even looks like that culture to work there. [00:36:29] So I could get a job at Yellow Belly. [00:36:31] Fuck. [00:36:31] Yeah, dude. [00:36:32] Manage it. [00:36:32] Huh? [00:36:33] Management? [00:36:34] Maybe assistant manager. [00:36:35] Okay. [00:36:35] Okay. [00:36:36] You know, maybe they might let you manage on Sundays. [00:36:38] Yeah, yeah. [00:36:39] But what I'm saying is this. [00:36:40] So he would then he would go in and kind of apologize. [00:36:42] And you have to think, this is something kind of crazy. [00:36:43] Yeah. [00:36:43] So a lot of people went and fought in some of these wars, right? [00:36:47] Then they came back and they never saw anybody from any of these cultures until like 40 years later when a restaurant with some different ethnical food showed up in their town. [00:36:58] And that's the, that's like the, they never, that's kind of crazy to think that, you know? [00:37:03] Does it make sense to you? [00:37:05] Let me get this right. [00:37:06] Yeah. [00:37:06] Okay. [00:37:07] So what you're saying is you're, let's just call this guy Jim. [00:37:12] Okay. [00:37:12] What would you want to call him? [00:37:13] His name is Charlie. [00:37:14] Okay. [00:37:15] All right. [00:37:16] Can I call him Charlie? [00:37:16] Huh? [00:37:17] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:37:18] Ironic that his name is Charlie. [00:37:20] I mean, look. [00:37:22] And he was a nom. [00:37:23] You were going to call him that no matter what. [00:37:24] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:37:27] But sure, you can. [00:37:28] Yeah. [00:37:28] And he died. [00:37:29] And he wore a lot of gold. [00:37:30] Rest in peace, Charlie. [00:37:31] He wore a lot of gold. [00:37:31] So what you're telling me is Charlie came back from the Vietnam War. [00:37:35] Yep. [00:37:36] Didn't see an Asian person for 40 fucking years. [00:37:39] Yeah. [00:37:40] Right? [00:37:40] And all of a sudden, Yellow Belly opens a Chinese restaurant. [00:37:44] Semi Chinese, off Chinese. [00:37:45] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:37:46] Semi Chinese. [00:37:47] All right. [00:37:47] And he walked in there, and because he hadn't seen a Vietnamese person in 40 years, he went up to a Chinese person and apologized for the Vietnam War and what he did. [00:38:01] Yeah. [00:38:01] Okay. [00:38:02] His heart had been changed. [00:38:05] That's the truth, Bobby. [00:38:07] Bobby, that's the truth, man. [00:38:09] I swear. [00:38:09] I know. [00:38:10] But maybe go to a Vietnamese person. [00:38:12] I understand that, but maybe go to a Vietnamese person. [00:38:15] But they don't have a Vietnamese restaurant in town. [00:38:18] At that point, it's like you just take what you can get, bro. [00:38:21] They'll hire a fucking Mexican guy who's fucking. [00:38:25] Who's high. [00:38:26] No. [00:38:26] So his eyes look Chinese. [00:38:27] Yeah, who's high. [00:38:28] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:38:29] A high Mexican guy. [00:38:30] Yeah, or just like you smoked up 24-7 when you walk here. [00:38:33] Whose eyes, you know, he's got those lowrider eyes, you know, like. [00:38:35] Yeah, So, what you're saying to me is that, and did he feel, did Charlie feel better about doing that? [00:38:45] He felt, no, I just think over the years his heart had been like, he just kind of like, you know, something, you know, he just had probably some remorse. [00:38:52] Yes. [00:38:53] And I feel empathy for that, but I'll tell you what the Chinese people were thinking at Yellow Belly. [00:38:59] What the fuck was that about? [00:39:02] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:39:02] That's what they're thinking. [00:39:04] What are you talking about? [00:39:06] No. [00:39:06] Yeah, yeah. [00:39:07] Because they're not in the Vietnam War. [00:39:10] Do you understand? [00:39:10] Yeah, I feel like. [00:39:11] No, no, no. [00:39:12] I think that there's. [00:39:13] No, I know exactly what you're saying. [00:39:15] I think, no, because we do this all the time. [00:39:18] No, we don't. [00:39:18] Yeah, yeah. [00:39:19] No, we don't. [00:39:19] Yeah, we do. [00:39:20] We do this all the time. [00:39:22] And, you know. [00:39:24] What do you mean we do this? [00:39:26] You're saying you and I have this conversation a lot? [00:39:28] Yeah, you and I always go into. [00:39:31] And I don't want to do it anymore. [00:39:32] I think this is the last time. [00:39:34] Okay, give me the other hat then. [00:39:35] Huh? [00:39:37] Oh, you want that sharecropper hat, huh? [00:39:39] How are you doing, man? [00:39:40] Huh? [00:39:41] How are you doing, man? [00:39:42] I'm good, sir. [00:39:43] Yeah. [00:39:43] Billy Lee, that's my name. [00:39:45] Billy? [00:39:46] Billy Lee. [00:39:47] Billy Lee? [00:39:48] Billy Lee. [00:39:48] I love you. [00:39:49] I love you. [00:39:49] I'm happy to be here today working for you, sir. [00:39:51] What can I do for you? [00:39:53] I just want to apologize for what I did to your people in the Vietnam War. [00:40:02] I apologize. [00:40:03] What's your name, man? [00:40:04] My name? [00:40:05] Yeah, man. [00:40:07] My name's Clark. [00:40:08] Clark, Clark, Clark, I apologize. [00:40:11] But see how that feels? [00:40:14] You have nothing to do with the fucking Vietnam War. [00:40:19] You're a white dude named Clark wearing that hat because you happen to get a job as a buster at Yellow Belly, right? [00:40:25] And some guy, Charlie, I've been working there for almost three months. [00:40:28] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:40:29] So, hey, Clark, I want to apologize because I know you're wearing that hat. [00:40:32] You probably, you know what I mean? [00:40:34] Yeah, I slaughtered a village. [00:40:36] You know what I mean? [00:40:37] And I feel bad about it, man. [00:40:39] So, hey, I want to give me a hug, man. [00:40:40] We hug, right? [00:40:41] Yeah. [00:40:41] Give me a little tip. [00:40:43] Five bucks. [00:40:43] That's what he would do. [00:40:44] He'd go in there and he hit him with a little extra. [00:40:46] Yeah. [00:40:47] And Charlie seems like he would hide the tip. [00:40:49] So there'd be a nice, like, it's like in Heated Rivalry. [00:40:52] You ever see that show? [00:40:53] I haven't seen that. [00:40:54] Yeah, yeah. [00:40:55] You know that show? [00:40:56] The gay hockey show? [00:40:58] Uh-oh, is that a show? [00:40:59] Yeah. [00:41:00] You never heard of Heated Rivalry? [00:41:01] It's the hottest show in America, dude. [00:41:03] Is it really? [00:41:03] I think my friend Josh Morrissey's in it. [00:41:04] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:41:06] It's about these two top gay hockey players, but they're in love. [00:41:11] There's a lot of gay love in it. [00:41:12] Is Gianni Paolo in it? [00:41:13] Yeah, yeah. [00:41:15] I think Gianni and Josh Morrissey might be in it. [00:41:17] Yeah, yeah. [00:41:18] But anyway, in Heated Rivalry, there's a scene in Heated Rivalry when one of the hockey players passes a water bottle, right? [00:41:27] So I'm going to just show you what one of them does. [00:41:30] All right. [00:41:30] So they're not out. [00:41:31] You know what I mean? [00:41:33] They're like these manly hockey players. [00:41:35] Right. [00:41:36] Can you pick it up with that hand, please? [00:41:37] Yeah. [00:41:38] Yeah. [00:41:39] No, pick it with that hand. [00:41:40] Okay. [00:41:40] Yeah, yeah. [00:41:41] And he passes it like this, right? [00:41:42] And then he does this. [00:41:45] How does that feel? [00:41:46] Do it with this hand so that people can see it on the camera. [00:41:48] Do it with your other hand. [00:41:50] So do it with this hand? [00:41:50] Use your left hand. [00:41:51] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:41:52] I don't have a lot of control in this hand, but I'll try. [00:41:55] I don't give a shit. [00:41:55] Okay, so you pick the top. [00:41:57] Okay. [00:41:59] So you grab it like this, and he goes, What? [00:42:03] Yeah, and then you take the bottle. [00:42:04] Ooh. [00:42:05] That's like one of the first episodes. [00:42:07] It's kind of like a gay relay race. [00:42:11] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:42:11] It was a gay relay race, but it's also a way to show, like, You know what I mean? [00:42:16] Right, there's foreshadowing. [00:42:17] Yeah, there's some foreshadowing. [00:42:18] So if I did that to you, you and I are doing a show together at the store, yo, Bobby, hand me a bottle of water, right? [00:42:26] And I handed you a bottle of water. [00:42:27] And you stayed ahead. [00:42:29] And I kind of just briefly with my finger rubbed your finger. [00:42:32] Yeah. [00:42:32] How would you feel about that? [00:42:34] I would feel like you were rubbing my finger, and I would feel like you were trying to give me, trying to say something to me, trying to say something to me with just your finger without even saying something to me that was gay. [00:42:44] And that, and that, and it would be something that was gay. [00:42:47] Yeah. [00:42:48] And I'll tell you this right now I don't give a fuck. [00:42:51] But would you do that to me? [00:42:52] What if I was unconscious? [00:42:54] No, dude. [00:42:55] You have to feel the finger. [00:42:57] Oh, you know that slogan, feel the finger. [00:43:01] Yeah, yeah. [00:43:02] My grandfather used to say it all the time. [00:43:04] Feel the finger. [00:43:05] But do you, yeah, see? [00:43:06] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:43:07] So your grandparents can do that kind of shit. [00:43:08] Yeah. [00:43:08] But my grandparents can't go into a, um, a, uh, Chinese restaurant. [00:43:14] Yeah. [00:43:14] A buffet and, um, a Chinese buffet. [00:43:17] A Chinese buffet and try and reconcile some differences. [00:43:20] That's what I don't understand. [00:43:22] I'm saying it's, what else? [00:43:23] You can reconcile differences with people that you have to reconcile differences with. [00:43:28] Yeah. [00:43:29] Not some other nation or people. [00:43:32] It makes no sense. [00:43:33] I don't know if that's. [00:43:34] I don't know if I agree with you. [00:43:37] Make your argument. [00:43:38] Make your argument. [00:43:39] I'm trying to make it. [00:43:40] Yeah, make your fucking argument. [00:43:41] You keep attacking me. [00:43:42] I'm not attacking you because what you're saying is nonsensical. [00:43:46] Bro, I'm just. [00:43:46] No, no, no. [00:43:47] Bro, no. [00:43:48] You don't know anything about. [00:43:49] You think. [00:43:50] Here's what you think. [00:43:52] Bobby. [00:43:52] No, I'm sorry, Pakistan, right? [00:43:55] I've been here so many different times, right? [00:43:57] And I'm going to say what I'm going to say, okay? [00:43:59] Bro, you think. [00:43:59] No, you think. [00:44:00] You're giving angry sharecropper energy right now. [00:44:03] Yeah, and I am one. [00:44:03] Okay. [00:44:04] Okay. [00:44:04] I have. [00:44:05] I have a farm. [00:44:05] I'm a farmer. [00:44:06] Okay, I'll go do it. [00:44:07] Hold on. [00:44:07] You seem to think that the whole country, I mean, continent of Asia, right, is one block, that we have the same traditions, language, writings, culture, et cetera. [00:44:24] They're all. [00:44:26] I'm listening. [00:44:26] Completely different, right? [00:44:29] I believe so. [00:44:30] It's like saying, oh, yeah, an American's like somebody from the Congo. [00:44:34] That's not true. [00:44:34] Yeah. [00:44:35] It's not. [00:44:35] What if you said, like, okay, somebody from. [00:44:38] Mississippi is like somebody that's from North Carolina. [00:44:41] They're similar. [00:44:42] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:44:42] They look similar, but they're different. [00:44:44] One of them probably watches Outer Banks, and one of them probably listens to the soundtrack at the gym of Mississippi Burning or whatever. [00:44:51] But the continent of North America, how many countries are in there? [00:44:55] On the continent of North America? [00:44:56] 51. [00:44:57] No. [00:44:58] Isn't there? [00:44:59] Three. [00:44:59] Dude, you're fucking setting me up, dude. [00:45:01] No, I'm not setting you up, dude. [00:45:03] Yeah, you are. [00:45:03] You're a spy, dude. [00:45:04] You're Mossad. [00:45:05] I'm not Mossad, dude. [00:45:06] I'm the opposite. [00:45:07] You are? [00:45:07] Yeah, I'm in Rubble. [00:45:09] You what? [00:45:09] I'm in rubble. [00:45:10] You're in rubble? [00:45:11] Yeah. [00:45:11] Okay, good. [00:45:12] You understand what I'm saying? [00:45:12] Yeah, yeah, I got you. [00:45:13] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:45:14] So, what I'm saying to you is there are three countries on our continent, which are what? === North America Slot Machine (10:08) === [00:45:21] North America, South America, Mexico. [00:45:23] No, no, no. [00:45:25] What is it? [00:45:25] See, that's why, you know what I mean? [00:45:27] Charlie shouldn't have said shit, dog. [00:45:29] But, dude, he doesn't understand geopolitically things. [00:45:33] Yeah. [00:45:33] Yeah, yeah. [00:45:34] He doesn't understand. [00:45:34] There's Canada, America, and also Mexico. [00:45:39] Yeah? [00:45:40] Yeah. [00:45:40] Now, is Central America. [00:45:41] No, that's a. [00:45:42] What is Central America? [00:45:43] Yeah. [00:45:43] That's not a part of. [00:45:44] Okay. [00:45:45] This is when the wizard runs out of his magic, right? [00:45:47] This guy got it. [00:45:49] Give me the. [00:45:50] How many countries? [00:45:51] I mean, how many countries are in North America? [00:45:54] This is including Central America. [00:45:56] Yeah, but is Central America North America? [00:45:58] I don't think so. [00:46:01] Just put in North America. [00:46:02] How many countries are in North America? [00:46:05] Bro. [00:46:05] No, just let me finish. [00:46:07] It's never going to end, dude. [00:46:10] How many countries are in North America? [00:46:11] 11. [00:46:12] That's Central America and stuff. [00:46:13] It's including. [00:46:14] But yeah. [00:46:15] Ooh, Haiti. [00:46:16] Yeah. [00:46:16] In North America, there's three countries. [00:46:18] Okay. [00:46:18] Ooh, Granada. [00:46:19] So it's like. [00:46:21] Okay. [00:46:21] Yeah. [00:46:22] But here's my defense in defense of Charlie. [00:46:25] Defense of who? [00:46:26] Charlie. [00:46:26] Oh, okay. [00:46:27] He would, bro, they don't. [00:46:29] What I'm saying is, in some smaller communities, they will open up a place that has a cuisine from an area, even a realm, right? [00:46:38] Realm, what do you mean? [00:46:40] Like Lord of the Rings shit? [00:46:41] Yeah, they'll open up with some fucking Mongolian restaurants. [00:46:45] Those are my favorite. [00:46:46] Or you know what I'm saying? [00:46:47] They'll open up a Mandarin? [00:46:49] Yeah. [00:46:49] Or a Mongolian stir fry place. [00:46:52] Chinese adjacent? [00:46:53] Yeah, Chinese adjacent, yeah. [00:46:55] Yeah. [00:46:56] Yeah. [00:46:56] So they'll open that up, Bobby. [00:46:57] And then. [00:46:58] People, the people that work there, first of all, dude, there's no way anybody, there's no way to win this argument. [00:47:03] It's fucking crazy. [00:47:05] Let me take this hat off. [00:47:06] There's no, I'm gonna hear you off. [00:47:07] What's the problem with the hat? [00:47:08] Yeah, I don't like it. [00:47:09] I want to just be myself. [00:47:10] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:47:11] So, what, there's no way to win this argument. [00:47:13] I'm so interested to see how you're gonna do it. [00:47:14] Go ahead. [00:47:15] This is my final rebuttal. [00:47:16] All right, go ahead. [00:47:17] And this is like the end of that movie. [00:47:18] Have you seen A Time to Kill? [00:47:20] No. [00:47:21] Give me another movie. [00:47:22] All right. [00:47:25] Oh, Lincoln Lawyer, but I think, yeah, give me another movie. [00:47:27] All right. [00:47:30] Bridge over the River Kauai. [00:47:32] Yes, I have. [00:47:34] Okay, so this is different than that. [00:47:36] Okay. [00:47:36] Here's what I'm going to tell you. [00:47:38] Hold on, it's Santino. [00:47:39] It is? [00:47:39] Yeah, hold on. [00:47:41] Yeah, what's up? [00:47:43] I'm doing Theo's, so. [00:47:46] Project Hail Mary is one of the best movies I've seen in years. [00:47:48] I know. [00:47:48] It was an amazing movie, right? [00:47:50] What's it called? [00:47:50] Bus Boys? [00:47:52] I cried like four times. [00:47:54] I told you, dude. [00:47:55] That's one of the best movies I've seen in years. [00:47:56] What's it called? [00:47:57] And then right after, I went and I watched Bus Boys, which is now in limited theaters all around the country. [00:48:02] Yeah, and how do you feel about Bus Boys? [00:48:05] Bus Boys is up there with some of the greatest fantasy sci fi dramas I've ever seen. [00:48:12] Yeah, I agree. [00:48:13] I agree. [00:48:14] I loved it. [00:48:14] I loved every second of it. [00:48:16] Hi, Theo. [00:48:16] Hey, brother. [00:48:17] What's up, man? [00:48:17] We miss you. [00:48:19] We miss you. [00:48:19] Love you guys very much. [00:48:20] Sorry to interrupt. [00:48:22] We'll talk about the movie later. [00:48:23] But what was that movie called? [00:48:25] I'm going to tell you after we hang out. [00:48:26] Okay, great. [00:48:27] Okay. [00:48:27] Goodbye. [00:48:28] Okay, let me get to it. [00:48:29] Project Mary. [00:48:30] Project Mary. [00:48:31] It's great, huh? [00:48:31] It's so good. [00:48:32] I want to go see it. [00:48:33] Is it in theaters or is it on VOD? [00:48:34] I would recommend you watch it in theaters, but you're not going to watch it. [00:48:38] Yeah, well. [00:48:38] Would Charlie watch it? [00:48:39] Huh? [00:48:40] Would Charlie watch it if he was alive? [00:48:41] No. [00:48:42] Well, then that's, you're part of the same. [00:48:44] He liked to be in the shed and he liked to curse a lot. [00:48:46] Oh, oh, oh. [00:48:47] He's like the Unabomber. [00:48:49] I don't know about that. [00:48:50] No. [00:48:50] Okay. [00:48:51] But he took care of my mother. [00:48:51] He had a small dog. [00:48:53] But here's what I want to tell you, though. [00:48:54] Oh, yeah. [00:48:54] Finish the argument. [00:48:55] Okay. [00:48:56] A lot of times in small communities, Bobby, people, if anybody seems semi Asian, if anybody seems. [00:49:02] What's a semi Asian? [00:49:03] A guy who's Asian, but also you don't know if he's Asian, man. [00:49:06] If somebody just has dark hair and cares. [00:49:08] It could be a white guy, but he had funny eyes. [00:49:10] Even just a trans chick who can't see that good, right? [00:49:14] Like, people will fucking, it all works in that sort of place. [00:49:18] It doesn't work. [00:49:19] It's wrong. [00:49:20] It doesn't work for us, bro. [00:49:21] But in that kind of place, you just take what, like, you take what you can get. [00:49:26] Right. [00:49:27] Right. [00:49:27] And so they'll have people, sometimes you'll get a Mexican guy that's been in a fire, even, and they'll be like, oh, this guy's Taiwanese or something. [00:49:32] He's not. [00:49:33] Right. [00:49:33] But people don't know, dude. [00:49:34] They just, so I'm just saying, like, sometimes that kind of shit happens, and people try to make bridges where they can. [00:49:40] Okay, if there was a guy that was slightly blue, would you think that that was from the movie Avatar? [00:49:45] I'm sure Charlie would have gone up to him and offered him a fucking. [00:49:50] Dude, speaking of. [00:49:51] Yeah, yeah. [00:49:52] But let's move on. [00:49:52] No, I don't want to move on. [00:49:55] I think I see your point of view, right? [00:49:57] I'm not saying it's right or anything. [00:49:58] I'm just saying. [00:49:58] Yeah, yeah. [00:49:59] What I'm saying, though, is that this is a small town. [00:50:03] Yes. [00:50:03] You know what I mean? [00:50:04] Worldview. [00:50:06] But also, do you know what I mean? [00:50:08] No, there's a New York hit. [00:50:10] Bring up that Asian fella we had on here, that young boy or whatever. [00:50:13] Yeah, I remember. [00:50:14] I saw some clips. [00:50:17] Yeah. [00:50:18] Asian Ray, young boy Asian. [00:50:20] Bobby, can you scoot to your left? [00:50:22] Yeah, and listen to what he said one day that brought me into some crazy racism that was happening. [00:50:28] I don't think we'll find it there. [00:50:29] It might stop us, but maybe it won't. [00:50:30] Maybe it will. [00:50:31] I don't think it's on here. [00:50:33] The full one might be on YouTube shorts or something. [00:50:35] Can you just find it? [00:50:37] Dude, oh, did you see those? [00:50:38] Listen how messed up this is, dude. [00:50:39] Did you see those moving slot machines that are going on? [00:50:43] Tell me, I would like to see it. [00:50:44] They move? [00:50:45] Watch this. [00:50:45] They move now. [00:50:46] Oh, yeah. [00:50:47] They're going to be coming after y'all. [00:50:48] All right. [00:50:53] Look at this, Bobby. [00:50:55] Whoa. [00:50:57] So, say you're. [00:50:58] I know. [00:50:59] Yeah. [00:51:00] You're taking a shit. [00:51:02] No? [00:51:03] No, and it comes looking for you or whatever? [00:51:04] No, that's crazy. [00:51:05] But say your wife's like, all right, you can't gamble anymore tonight and you have to go to bed or whatever. [00:51:09] Right. [00:51:10] And that thing comes knocking on your door later with like a little bottle of wine or something. [00:51:14] Oh, that'd be crazy. [00:51:15] You know? [00:51:15] Yeah, yeah. [00:51:16] Or even just for like. [00:51:17] You put 100 bucks in it though, no? [00:51:19] Yeah, but that thing could pin a fucking. [00:51:21] Dude, that thing could pin a. [00:51:23] An older Taiwanese man against a wallet and make him spend every buck he's got. [00:51:27] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:51:28] I see what you're saying. [00:51:29] I'm just saying that's just messed up. [00:51:31] Yeah, I think that this is too far. [00:51:32] Is that what you're saying? [00:51:33] Yeah. [00:51:34] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:51:34] Moving anything, like, you know, like, but ATM machine too, then. [00:51:38] If they do this, they do ATM. [00:51:40] Yeah. [00:51:41] What else machines can they do? [00:51:43] Oh, you know, the crane game? [00:51:45] Oh, yeah. [00:51:46] That one I would like, though. [00:51:47] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:51:48] I've never gotten one, have you? [00:51:49] Really? [00:51:49] You haven't? [00:51:50] I could, I can never grab it, dude. [00:51:52] Huh. [00:51:52] Yeah. [00:51:53] Sometimes I'll have it hook onto, like, you know, like on a, Plush toy. [00:51:58] There's like the little, whoever manual, like made in China. [00:52:02] There's like a little bit of a white. [00:52:04] I try to get the crane, you know what I mean? [00:52:06] Middle part. [00:52:06] I go through the part of the ticket, the little label, and I try to pull it up that way, but it somehow slips, dude. [00:52:14] Oh, dang, that's a good strategy, though. [00:52:17] What kind of age? [00:52:19] What kind of what? [00:52:20] What kind of age is he? [00:52:21] This age? [00:52:22] No, age. [00:52:24] He's Thai. [00:52:25] Oh, I like it. [00:52:27] He's Thai. [00:52:27] Yeah. [00:52:28] Tell me about him. [00:52:29] What do you say? [00:52:29] He's Juan. [00:52:30] He's Mexican, or he's Taiwan, sorry. [00:52:32] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:52:33] He's Taiwan. [00:52:34] Are my centers? [00:52:35] No, I'm just saying, bro. [00:52:36] Look at the kind of shit that these kids are coming over here and saying, bro. [00:52:38] Okay, I don't want to hear it. [00:52:40] I will let you call me a ching chong. [00:52:44] I'll give it a pass. [00:52:45] Really? [00:52:45] Yeah, just call me one time. [00:52:47] It's okay. [00:52:47] I know you want to do it. [00:52:49] I don't want to do it. [00:52:50] It's okay. [00:52:51] Like, I'm cool. [00:52:52] Like, you feel me? [00:52:52] I'm going to give it a pass. [00:52:53] You can say ching chong. [00:52:55] I would not say it. [00:52:55] I would probably, I would think a ching chong. [00:52:57] I don't like ching chong that much. [00:53:01] Why? [00:53:02] I would maybe call you like a slot machine boy or something like that. [00:53:06] Something that Asian people like to do. [00:53:07] Look at this little kind of slot machine. [00:53:11] Look at this little slot machine, yeah. [00:53:12] What you mean by that? [00:53:13] Like we slot, like ding ding. [00:53:15] Yes, yeah. [00:53:17] That's a slot machine. [00:53:18] That's not a slot machine. [00:53:19] Yes. [00:53:20] No, I think that's a slot machine. [00:53:21] Winner. [00:53:22] It's like, it'd be like a slot machine. [00:53:23] Just add, like, when you hit the bonus on a slot machine, your money goes up. [00:53:26] Yeah. [00:53:27] Ding dong ding dong ding That'ing ding d You know that guy? [00:53:37] We all know each other. [00:53:39] I can call Oon right now, dog. [00:53:41] Kim Jong Un? [00:53:42] That's right, dog. [00:53:43] You know who you're supposed to play your role in the movie? [00:53:45] Who? [00:53:46] KJU. [00:53:46] I'm not even joking. [00:53:49] You're going to give him one line in a movie? [00:53:51] We offered him. [00:53:51] It's four lines. [00:53:52] Are you going to put him to the center of the. [00:53:55] It was the only. [00:53:56] Wait, wait, wait. [00:53:57] I was second choice, dog. [00:53:59] No. [00:53:59] Wait, wait. [00:54:00] I was second choice for four lines in your movie. [00:54:04] Hold on. [00:54:05] That's crazy, dude. [00:54:07] I don't know if it's true or not. [00:54:08] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:54:10] I believe you. [00:54:11] Yeah, you were a producer and you wrote the thing. [00:54:14] Dude, we barely got through it. [00:54:17] We made it during the fires, Bobby. [00:54:18] Yeah, I understand that. [00:54:19] Listen about this Asian guy, okay? [00:54:21] Number one, I don't wanna give him any more airtime. [00:54:23] This guy's kind of fucking weird. [00:54:25] You brought it up! [00:54:27] All right. [00:54:28] You made me watch the whole video and then, like, watch it. [00:54:30] I watch it. [00:54:30] I can't say anything? [00:54:32] All right, then go on. [00:54:33] Right. [00:54:34] He's not, he's from Qing Chong. [00:54:36] Go on, Bobby. [00:54:37] All right. [00:54:37] He's from the land of them. [00:54:40] He ain't no American. [00:54:42] I'm American. [00:54:44] I know you are. [00:54:45] Yeah, yeah, I mean, so it's like, Qing Chong hits different with me than that Qing Chong. [00:54:50] Yeah. [00:54:50] You know what I mean? [00:54:51] Oh, yeah. [00:54:52] Yeah, you know what I mean? [00:54:53] So it's like, you know. [00:54:54] That little. [00:54:55] Also, let me say something. [00:54:56] That little octopus knuckle. [00:54:57] He ain't shit. [00:54:58] He ain't shit, dude. [00:54:58] This little octopus knuckle, dude. [00:55:00] You know what I mean? [00:55:00] And let me say something. [00:55:02] Slots, I know why you said that, man. [00:55:04] Because a slot is a slit. [00:55:06] Nah. [00:55:06] Yeah, that's why you said it. [00:55:08] A slot is a slit and a slit is a slot, dude. [00:55:11] Bro, I'm doing parables, dude. [00:55:14] Parables? [00:55:14] Yeah, let me say something about this. [00:55:15] All right, tell me something. [00:55:16] Let me say something, okay? [00:55:18] Right? [00:55:20] I give you permission. [00:55:23] Maybe not on camera, but off camera to say whatever you want to call me because I'm not going to take him personally. [00:55:29] I don't do that. === Acorns and BetterHelp Ads (04:28) === [00:55:30] Yeah, you do. [00:55:32] You have. [00:55:34] And I've said, I've called you certain things. [00:55:37] Oh, really? [00:55:38] Yeah. [00:55:39] Just to you, off camera. [00:55:43] To me? [00:55:44] Was I there? [00:55:45] Yeah, is that what you're saying? [00:55:45] I was there? [00:55:47] Yes. [00:55:48] Oh, off camera, you have. [00:55:49] Yeah. [00:55:49] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:55:50] Not behind my back, though. [00:55:51] No, not behind your. [00:55:55] You know what? [00:55:56] Wow. [00:55:57] Well, I don't want to. [00:55:58] We're going to break for lunch. [00:56:03] You know, in the past, I was hesitant to invest my money. [00:56:07] And who wouldn't be? [00:56:08] Because, you know, I mean, I used to throw my money in a wishing well when I was a child and I wished for more money, but I didn't realize I was working backwards. [00:56:18] So many of us only focus on where our money is today. [00:56:22] But Acorns is the financial wellness app that cares about where your money is going today. [00:56:28] That's what they do. [00:56:30] Acorns is a smart way to give your money a chance to grow. 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[00:57:24] Potential subject to various factors such as customers' accounts, age, and investment sales. [00:57:26] Designed to clear Acorn fees. [00:57:27] Results do not predict or represent the performance of any Acorns portfolio. [00:57:29] Investment results will vary investing volunteers. [00:57:30] Acorns advisors, LLC, and SEC registered investment advisors. [00:57:32] View important disclosures at acorns.comslash Theo. [00:57:34] There's times in the past where I went to the doctor and I didn't feel like I got anything useful out of the visit. [00:57:40] That's true. [00:57:41] I'd go in there. [00:57:42] One time the guy tickled me and he wrote some profanity on a little sketch pad or something. [00:57:49] That's why I'm excited about this company called Superpower. [00:57:53] Superpower sends a licensed professional to your home or you can visit a nearby lab. [00:58:00] It's one simple blood draw with over 100 biomarkers, which is way more than what you usually get. [00:58:06] And it unlocks a real understanding of your body. [00:58:10] Their app includes detailed information on your heart, liver, thyroid, hormones, even environmental toxins. [00:58:17] Yep, superpower. [00:58:19] Make this the year you stop guessing about your health with Superpower. [00:58:24] For a limited time, our listeners get $20 off to unlock their new health intelligence. [00:58:29] Head on over to superpower.com and use code Theo for $20 off your membership. [00:58:34] That's code Theo. [00:58:35] And after you sign up, they'll ask you how you heard about them. [00:58:39] Tell them we sent you. [00:58:41] This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. [00:58:44] Life's a journey, hell. [00:58:46] And look, we're barely living. [00:58:48] You know that. [00:58:49] People are poisoned by food, there's glyphosate and. [00:58:53] You know, you're watching television, getting glyphosate thrown into your face through the, you know, 4K or whatever, 5G wireless. [00:59:00] You know, the animals aren't breathing. [00:59:02] You know what's going on. [00:59:03] What I'm saying is some days feel good and others feel overwhelming. [00:59:07] BetterHelp is reminding us that May is Mental Health Awareness Month and it's a good time to check in with yourself and understand where you're at. [00:59:15] That's where BetterHelp comes in. [00:59:17] BetterHelp therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the U.S. America. [00:59:24] And they do the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. [00:59:29] And I do want to say if you go see a therapist and you don't feel like it's a good match, get another one. [00:59:35] I sat in with therapists that I didn't think it was a good match. [00:59:37] I sat in for far too long because I was afraid to speak up for myself. [00:59:41] You don't have to be on your journey alone. [00:59:44] That's the truth. [00:59:45] Find support and have someone with you in therapy. [00:59:49] Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.comslash Theo. [00:59:52] That's betterhelp.comslash Theo. === Nick Saban Anxiety Talk (07:01) === [00:59:59] No. [00:59:59] The judge is going to return to his chambers. [01:00:01] We'll be back after lunch. [01:00:01] Yeah, yeah. [01:00:04] Remember that show? [01:00:05] Yeah, I love that show. [01:00:06] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:00:07] Yeah, I've said some stuff behind your back. [01:00:11] Ooh, Bobby got the hitter, huh? [01:00:13] What's up, dude? [01:00:14] What flavor is it? [01:00:15] That's fucking tobacco, dude. [01:00:16] Yours is just tobacco flavoring. [01:00:18] Wow. [01:00:18] I quit smoking over a month ago, so sometimes I'll take a hit. [01:00:21] That's insane, bro. [01:00:24] Yeah, that's how I quit. [01:00:25] The same way I'm fucking not quit. [01:00:28] What do you mean, dude? [01:00:29] That's not quitting. [01:00:31] Dude, if you're smoking a pack of cigarettes a day, 20 cigarettes, 20 cigarettes, and I lit me one. [01:00:40] Have you heard that song? [01:00:41] No. [01:00:41] Morgan Wallen? [01:00:42] No. [01:00:42] Dude, I went to his concert. [01:00:43] I don't know the modern shit. [01:00:44] I went to his concert the other night. [01:00:45] Dude, I saw fucking Karen Carpenter at the Coachella. [01:00:49] I didn't know one song. [01:00:50] Really? [01:00:51] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:00:53] She came out, and I had not one song. [01:00:56] No. [01:00:57] Sabrina Carpenter? [01:00:58] Sabrina Carpenter. [01:00:59] Oh, yeah. [01:01:00] Karen Carpenter died. [01:01:00] Her and my dad, uh uh. [01:01:02] Yeah, yeah. [01:01:03] Dude, no. [01:01:03] Morgan Wallen, dude. [01:01:04] Bro, you got to go see him, bro. [01:01:05] No, no, I'm not going to see him. [01:01:06] Bro. [01:01:06] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:01:07] You got to do his walkout with him, bro. [01:01:08] Have you ever seen he does walkouts where people walk out with him? [01:01:11] Nick Saban freaking walked out with him, Bobby. [01:01:13] Yeah, I don't even know who Nick Saban is, dude. [01:01:15] I only know people. [01:01:15] It's not Nick Saban, dude. [01:01:17] Like, he's a guy who freaking makes coupons. [01:01:18] He might be saving something. [01:01:20] It's Nick Saban. [01:01:21] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:01:22] Yeah, listen to me, guy. [01:01:23] Bro, he loves you, dude. [01:01:25] Yeah, and I love him back, dude. [01:01:26] But what I want to say to you is this Last night, we let the liquor talk. [01:01:31] Bro. [01:01:32] Bro. [01:01:34] Last night we left the liquor talk. [01:01:36] That's a good start, dude. [01:01:37] Bro, listen to me, dude. [01:01:38] I don't. [01:01:38] I've been listening. [01:01:39] It's a regional thing, dude. [01:01:43] You're out there in Nashville. [01:01:44] What? [01:01:45] You mean all your shit? [01:01:52] Right? [01:01:52] We don't do shit like that, dude. [01:01:54] You're right. [01:01:54] You're right. [01:01:54] You know what I mean? [01:01:55] Smooth. [01:01:56] That's your shit, dude. [01:01:57] You know what I mean? [01:01:58] We do different shit out here in LA, dog. [01:02:01] What? [01:02:01] Yeah. [01:02:01] Rap. [01:02:03] Punk bands, you know what I mean? [01:02:04] Y'all are. [01:02:05] You're right. [01:02:05] You know what I mean? [01:02:07] You know what I mean? [01:02:08] Yeah, I feel you. [01:02:08] Last night my bus fell down a river. [01:02:13] Like music, I don't even relate to. [01:02:15] Last night, my dog came and said hello. [01:02:18] Yeah, those are like, that's your music. [01:02:21] You mean, my corn's growing like sombreros? [01:02:26] Like Nevada. [01:02:27] Nevada. [01:02:28] I'm sorry. [01:02:28] Let's try the country zone real quick. [01:02:30] What? [01:02:30] All right. [01:02:31] What? [01:02:32] I woke up and I couldn't see this morning. [01:02:39] Then I realized it was night. [01:02:45] So I had to re download my iPad. [01:02:51] I put my white hat through the door. [01:02:56] Yeah, amen, bro. [01:02:58] I like the ending, it's like CBD. [01:03:01] It's a CBD. [01:03:02] Contibid. [01:03:03] Why'd you say CBD? [01:03:04] To be decided. [01:03:04] It's like a TBC, you said. [01:03:07] Exactly. [01:03:07] What? [01:03:08] Dude, did you say that gay volleyball? [01:03:10] No, hold on a second. [01:03:11] We keep, bro, we don't even know what we're saying, bro. [01:03:14] That's the thing. [01:03:15] That's the thing. [01:03:16] When you and I are together, right? [01:03:19] Just say it, man. [01:03:19] There's anxiety and we want to get to the next thing. [01:03:23] Right? [01:03:23] Because we think that silence is bad. [01:03:26] That's a good point. [01:03:27] I do feel like that. [01:03:28] Have you always felt like that? [01:03:29] No, but what I realize, it doesn't matter with you and I. [01:03:34] It's going to be good. [01:03:35] Well, let's sit here. [01:03:36] It's going to be good. [01:03:37] And there's no need for anxiety. [01:03:39] And there's no need to like what's clippable. [01:03:42] And, you know, because when you and I are together, sometimes it gets clippable and it becomes sometimes viral. [01:03:48] Yeah. [01:03:49] And when I was coming here today, there's a reason why I haven't done your shit in a long time is because I don't like the pressure. [01:03:55] Of doing it with you specifically because if we don't create magic, right, then it was just a waste. [01:04:02] I brought that up to Nick today before you came. [01:04:03] Yeah, yeah. [01:04:04] And I prayed about it before this. [01:04:05] Yeah, but what I believe is that then when I was driving, I was like, I don't care, whatever it is, it is. [01:04:13] Yeah. [01:04:13] And I'm okay with that. [01:04:14] You know what I mean? [01:04:15] Because we're both doing well in life. [01:04:19] And I think I believe that you're a very good person. [01:04:22] I'm a good person. [01:04:23] And just not rush through it, man. [01:04:26] I'm here as long as you need me. [01:04:27] You know what I mean? [01:04:29] But I think we have something. [01:04:30] I mean, where's Bear Dick at? [01:04:33] He's over there. [01:04:34] Yeah, Bear Dick. [01:04:35] Yeah. [01:04:35] Do we get stuff already? [01:04:37] Yeah, I think you gave the Clippers some fuel. [01:04:39] Yeah. [01:04:40] We got some stuff, right? [01:04:41] You got more than enough. [01:04:42] We got more than enough. [01:04:43] So, what I'm saying is that. [01:04:45] Can you slide to your right a little bit? [01:04:46] You're in theater. [01:04:47] I know. [01:04:48] Honestly, dude, what you're doing right now, dude, is. [01:04:50] I said to go to the left. [01:04:51] Now I've got to go to the right. [01:04:52] We haven't had this problem yet. [01:04:55] You're full of energy. [01:04:56] Does he look on center? [01:04:57] He's just creeping into your shot. [01:04:59] So, move your mic. [01:05:00] Oh, my God. [01:05:00] I got to get it. [01:05:00] I'm okay here. [01:05:01] Move your mic and you're good. [01:05:02] Bobby, look at this right here. [01:05:03] This is you in the movie. [01:05:06] This is you in your anxiety. [01:05:08] Oh, there you go. [01:05:08] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:05:09] That's the guy you beat out for your. [01:05:11] That's a guy. [01:05:12] Okay, first of all. [01:05:13] That's the guy you beat out. [01:05:15] No, no, no, no. [01:05:18] That's Kim Jong Un as me in the movie, dude. [01:05:21] No, he came in for a read. [01:05:23] That's the guy you beat out for your role, you fool. [01:05:25] Oh, so he came from North Korea and read, went on set and read for you and he didn't get it? [01:05:33] Yeah. [01:05:33] Yeah, and then you're like, what other. [01:05:34] You know what I mean? [01:05:36] Chong Chong, do we know? [01:05:37] And then you called me? [01:05:39] How many people did you call before you called me? [01:05:41] Did you call Ken Jung? [01:05:43] Did you call Jimmy O'Yang? [01:05:44] I did send a text to Kim Jung. [01:05:46] He didn't text me back. [01:05:47] Ken Jung. [01:05:47] Kim Jung. [01:05:48] Yeah, yeah. [01:05:50] And I did also, we did reach out to Ken Jung or Ken Jong Un. [01:05:54] What's his name? [01:05:55] Yeah, at least Ken Jung Un. [01:05:56] Kim Jung Un. [01:05:57] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:05:58] No, that's Ken Jung. [01:05:59] That's Ken Jung. [01:06:00] So he said no. [01:06:01] He said no. [01:06:01] But he did, you know what he did say though? [01:06:03] And they wrote a letter back, like his affairs person or whatever. [01:06:06] Yeah. [01:06:07] And they said that they loved David Spade and Dickie Roberts. [01:06:10] I thought that was just hilarious that they put that in there. [01:06:12] That was pretty cool. [01:06:13] Who else did you offer it before you offered it to me? [01:06:15] We offered it. [01:06:16] You were second. [01:06:18] Oh, so it went Kim Jong un, the dictator from North Korea. [01:06:21] Yep. [01:06:22] And then I was second. [01:06:23] 100%. [01:06:23] I promise. [01:06:24] 100%. [01:06:25] Yeah. [01:06:25] Thank you so much. [01:06:26] You bet. [01:06:26] You know what I mean? [01:06:26] Because I think you did good. [01:06:27] You got it. [01:06:27] If you got dictator, like Viktor Orban. [01:06:31] And then we got dictaster. [01:06:34] So I think we did good. [01:06:36] Dude, it's not fair what you just said. [01:06:38] Bro, you didn't have a lot. [01:06:39] Yeah, I just took. [01:06:40] Yeah, I licked the tip. [01:06:41] I only had a lick. [01:06:42] Yeah. [01:06:42] I only had one piece. [01:06:43] Yeah, I only had Makase. [01:06:45] I only had Makase. [01:06:46] I only had Makase. [01:06:47] Okay, dude. [01:06:48] That's all I did, right? [01:06:50] And you know this about me, dude. [01:06:51] I do. [01:06:52] I might be 5% bi. [01:06:54] And that's not a lot. [01:06:55] That's not a lot, dude. [01:06:56] Bro, these days? [01:06:57] These days, dude, they go all the way at 100%. [01:07:00] You know what I mean? === Dictator Pot Boil Jokes (09:37) === [01:07:01] And it's like, I didn't get that. [01:07:03] No. [01:07:03] I would be okay if I had 100%, but I'm only 5%. [01:07:08] Dude, if I was gay, I would just, I think, still. [01:07:10] I think you're 3%. [01:07:11] 3%? [01:07:11] Yeah, yeah. [01:07:12] I think in the right circumstances, you would kiss the tip. [01:07:14] I would do it. [01:07:16] Henry Cavill. [01:07:17] Who's Henry Cavill? [01:07:18] Superman. [01:07:19] The one before? [01:07:20] No, I'm not having some guy who's working all the time out meeting people at night and shit like that. [01:07:25] Okay. [01:07:25] Here's what I will say this if I didn't get married to a woman at some point and there was like a cool dude who was not trying to like do any sex or touch my ass or anything but wanted to chill, separate rooms, maybe he is a chef or something. [01:07:45] Maybe. [01:07:46] If I also don't have to talk to him every day. [01:07:47] Okay. [01:07:49] So it's 1%. [01:07:50] Yeah. [01:07:51] Yeah, okay. [01:07:51] You're 1%. [01:07:52] 1%. [01:07:52] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:07:53] Or even, dude, I dated a chick with hard tits and that freaking kind of, that was a lot. [01:07:57] Dude, I did it at Hot Chick with Sarah Connor's ass. [01:08:00] No. [01:08:01] You know Sarah Connor from Terminator? [01:08:02] Nuh uh. [01:08:03] Yeah, like she was buff, right? [01:08:07] So her ass felt Schwarzenegger like. [01:08:09] Oh, yeah. [01:08:10] You know what I mean? [01:08:10] Where I like it when it's like, there's like some fat, you know what I mean? [01:08:14] Yeah. [01:08:14] And she was beautiful, but her ass was Sarah Connor and I couldn't do it. [01:08:19] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:08:21] Like, because I'm not the Terminator. [01:08:22] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:08:22] You know what I mean? [01:08:23] I don't have those robotics. [01:08:25] Some ass, too, of women, they go to the gym so much and their ass has a little bit of hair on it. [01:08:28] That's the craziest thing. [01:08:30] Yeah, like how much hair? [01:08:31] Not a lot, but just enough where you feel they shaved a couple times. [01:08:34] Yeah, And that's not crazy. [01:08:36] I don't care. [01:08:37] Yeah. [01:08:37] But it is a surprise. [01:08:39] It's a surprise. [01:08:40] Sometimes when you go in the cave and you see some foliage. [01:08:42] Yeah. [01:08:43] You know what I mean? [01:08:44] That I don't like. [01:08:45] Oh, really? [01:08:45] Yeah. [01:08:46] I like my caves clean. [01:08:47] Okay. [01:08:47] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:08:48] And we have now the technology to do it. [01:08:51] I don't want foliage because I'm not like a cave dweller. [01:08:53] Dude, would you go back in the 1400s, you think, and eat a little bit of ass or what? [01:08:58] In the 1400s, I would pass on that dog. [01:09:00] All right. [01:09:01] Yeah, man. [01:09:01] You'll get the measles. [01:09:03] Ooh, you will, huh? [01:09:03] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:09:04] You'll get some sort of, like, you know what I mean, thing that would kill somebody back then. [01:09:07] Yeah, yeah. [01:09:08] I'd have, like, one of those Asian, you know what I mean? [01:09:10] Yeah. [01:09:11] You get COVID masks. [01:09:12] You get that holy o polio. [01:09:15] Yeah, yeah. [01:09:16] Would you eat 1400 ass? [01:09:17] Holy o polio? [01:09:20] No, dude. [01:09:20] I'm not doing that shit. [01:09:21] Dude, I will tell you this, bro. [01:09:23] No. [01:09:23] I don't know. [01:09:24] I wouldn't even answer that question. [01:09:25] Yeah, You asked me. [01:09:29] I know. [01:09:29] Yeah. [01:09:30] I wondered, but here's the thing. [01:09:31] Let's just, before you move on, because you're getting anxiety, I know you're doing a lot of things. [01:09:34] You're right, I'm getting anxiety. [01:09:35] Let me chill out. [01:09:35] All right, chill out for a second, okay? [01:09:37] You know, because I'm a podcaster as well. [01:09:40] I know, dude. [01:09:41] You're a professional. [01:09:41] You guys have one of the top 10 podcasts in the world. [01:09:43] So are you. [01:09:44] So that's crazy to think that, though. [01:09:47] I don't think about it. [01:09:48] But it's still crazy to think. [01:09:49] I don't think. [01:09:50] It's crazy to say that it's a thing. [01:09:51] People tell me, I go, oh, I guess. [01:09:54] What is your podcast big in other parts of the world? [01:09:58] I don't know. [01:09:58] As it is here. [01:09:58] I don't know the stats. [01:10:00] I don't know the stats, and it's like, you know, it's like that old term, you know what I mean? [01:10:05] I don't live in the results. [01:10:07] Cooked pot doesn't boil or whatever. [01:10:09] What is that term? [01:10:10] What is it? [01:10:11] A watch pot doesn't boil. [01:10:12] Pot doesn't boil, a cook pot does boil, though. [01:10:16] A cook pot does boil, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:10:21] You know, how about this? [01:10:22] What are you when you use terminology sometimes? [01:10:25] Yeah, think about it first. [01:10:27] I think that's one of your problems. [01:10:29] You know, I mean, when it pops into your head, I don't think there is that thing that goes, Let's think about it. [01:10:33] Yeah, you just say, Well, that term cook pot, you know, I mean, boils, you know, I mean, and it's like, Yeah, it's not the right thing. [01:10:41] So, it's, I think that's a part of your anxiety. [01:10:43] Yeah, you're right, right. [01:10:44] It's hard for me to leave that space in a place. [01:10:46] I'll just like, if something's like somebody, if two people are sitting there and nobody's talking, it gets really uncomfortable. [01:10:51] Yeah. [01:10:51] You're that way too, Bobby. [01:10:53] No, I've changed for me. [01:10:54] Are you serious? [01:10:55] Oh, yeah. [01:10:56] Dude, I'm so serious. [01:10:58] What'd you really do to change that? [01:10:59] Because that's a big thing. [01:10:59] A lot of people deal with it. [01:11:01] Because I don't really care it really anymore. [01:11:05] I have empathy and I care about the world, and that's not what I mean. [01:11:08] I don't care. [01:11:08] Like, whatever direction my life takes, I'm just going to go with the flow. [01:11:13] And it's not my responsibility or I'm not a psychic. [01:11:17] I don't know what's going to end up happening to me. [01:11:19] What question are you answering right now? [01:11:20] What I'm asking you is, uh. [01:11:22] What do you mean? [01:11:23] If, like, say you and I are talking and, or say you're talking to anybody, right? [01:11:26] And it becomes a moment of silence. [01:11:27] This happens to me a lot in relationships. [01:11:29] If there's a moment of silence, it's hard for me to just sit there and let there be silence. [01:11:33] Yeah, but that's. [01:11:34] But you said that you've changed with that. [01:11:35] So what I'm asking is how have you changed? [01:11:37] What have you done that's changed? [01:11:38] Because that's kind of. [01:11:39] I think therapy has helped. [01:11:40] I think Lexapro has helped. [01:11:41] I, you know, sometimes I'll take Ritalin for my ADHD. [01:11:45] I didn't take any today. [01:11:46] How much pro you want? [01:11:47] Yeah. [01:11:47] Pro, what? [01:11:48] Lexapro. [01:11:49] Lexapro? [01:11:49] Yeah. [01:11:50] 10 milligrams, I think. [01:11:51] Okay, that's a low dose. [01:11:52] It's a dose. [01:11:53] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:11:54] You know, it's like when they say when you're performing, a lot of comics hate the silence, but that's when they're listening, right? [01:12:01] And I feel so comfortable with you because we've known each other for so long that we could take a break. [01:12:07] We don't always have to like chase a laugh or say something super interesting. [01:12:13] That's the thing. [01:12:14] It's like we perform for the algorithm and for what people are going to want to watch. [01:12:20] I think with you, sometimes it does turn into that. [01:12:23] This is the first time I've ever thought that. [01:12:25] So it's funny that you said that before you came over, whenever you got over here, because I did think that. [01:12:29] Didn't we talk about it, Nick? [01:12:29] I said, what did we say? [01:12:32] What are we going to talk about? [01:12:33] And I was like, let the moments happen. [01:12:35] Yeah. [01:12:35] Yeah. [01:12:37] And if the moments don't happen, I'm okay with that too. [01:12:39] That's okay. [01:12:40] Yeah. [01:12:41] Because we'll podcast again and again. [01:12:44] And I don't want to lose out on a chance to have a good time with you. [01:12:47] I'm already having a blast. [01:12:48] Me too. [01:12:49] You know what I mean? [01:12:49] The things that you talked about, Charlie, was insane. [01:12:54] It's not that easy. [01:12:54] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:12:55] And it's fucking insane. [01:12:58] And that's already something that people are going to go, what the fuck is he talking about? [01:13:02] Well, because he's a small town, he likes to go out to eat or something. [01:13:05] No, no, no. [01:13:05] I don't want to. [01:13:07] Don't do your fucking confused white face. [01:13:10] You guys do that a lot. [01:13:11] Your confused white face. [01:13:12] Who does? [01:13:13] Who are you? [01:13:13] You know, you guys. [01:13:14] You guys do that a lot. [01:13:15] Oh, you think we're. [01:13:16] We didn't start a war. [01:13:18] What? [01:13:19] And your eyes cross? [01:13:21] What? [01:13:21] You know what I mean? [01:13:23] You started it. [01:13:25] You started it. [01:13:26] We didn't. [01:13:26] Yeah, you started it. [01:13:28] Oh, it's been going on for 47 years. [01:13:31] That's fucking. [01:13:31] I mean, they're about to have a nuclear weapon. [01:13:34] Come on, man. [01:13:36] Don't do confused white phase. [01:13:37] I get it. [01:13:38] I know the tone. [01:13:40] I've been around a long time. [01:13:41] I know confused whites. [01:13:42] That's Trump and his fucking missile monkeys. [01:13:44] I know, but sometimes you're a confused white. [01:13:47] You think so? [01:13:48] That's Trump and his fucking missile monkeys doing this. [01:13:50] But those missile monkeys are also confused whites. [01:13:53] They're monking it around. [01:13:54] I know. [01:13:55] You know what I mean? [01:13:55] And what I'm saying is that, you know what I mean? [01:13:58] Don't confuse white me, dog. [01:13:59] You're right. [01:14:00] You know what I mean? [01:14:01] Because I'm a confused yellow. [01:14:02] No, you're not. [01:14:03] Sometimes I am. [01:14:05] Really? [01:14:05] Like confused, yeah. [01:14:06] But the Lex Pro is so. [01:14:07] You always seem confident. [01:14:08] Has it really helped you? [01:14:09] What has it helped you with? [01:14:10] I'll say this, you seem a little less shy. [01:14:14] Because sometimes you get shy. [01:14:16] You ever try to put your hand in an aquarium and try to get one of the fish out of there? [01:14:20] Yeah, yeah, yeah, like a koi fish. [01:14:22] Or just at a party or whatever. [01:14:23] And they keep going. [01:14:24] They will not come into your hand. [01:14:26] Yeah, because it's a defense mechanism. [01:14:27] But that's how you are. [01:14:28] No, but they're like, you know what I mean? [01:14:30] A crazed white is, you know what I mean, trying to grab me. [01:14:33] I'm confused why I'm here. [01:14:34] I'll keep my hand open and just wait until something comes in it. [01:14:36] Will you clutch it? [01:14:38] No, it's kind of softly open like this. [01:14:40] Do they ever do it? [01:14:41] Never. [01:14:41] Never. [01:14:42] You know why? [01:14:43] Why? [01:14:43] They're scared. [01:14:45] That's how it reminds me of you. [01:14:47] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:14:47] That's the behavior I get out of here. [01:14:48] Yeah, I'm not really that scared anymore. [01:14:50] Good. [01:14:51] Yeah, yeah. [01:14:51] Are you scared? [01:14:52] Fuck yeah. [01:14:52] No, I'm happy to hear that. [01:14:53] No, are you scared? [01:14:54] Are you scared? [01:14:55] I, you know, I've gone through a period recently in the past few months where I've definitely dealt with some fear, you know? [01:14:59] Yeah, yeah. [01:15:00] I think scared of like, yeah, I don't know, dude. [01:15:04] Like things get scary in the world. [01:15:06] And you think like, yeah, if you say certain things that people are going to do something bad to you or something bad could happen to somebody you know about. [01:15:14] Now, do I get death threats and things like that? [01:15:15] Yeah, that's scary. [01:15:18] You get those? [01:15:19] Sometimes I have. [01:15:21] From who? [01:15:22] I blocked them immediately. [01:15:23] I don't know who. [01:15:24] Have you ever gotten a stalker before? [01:15:26] Oh, yeah. [01:15:28] No way. [01:15:29] Have you? [01:15:30] Nope. [01:15:32] Never. [01:15:32] Can I tell you something that you're confused about again? [01:15:35] Yeah. [01:15:36] Right? [01:15:37] And this has happened to me four or five times. [01:15:41] I'll have a, I'll match somebody with Raya, I'll take them on a date. [01:15:48] And they go, What's Theo up to? [01:15:50] And I go, Because I was hanging out with Vancouver and then like I couldn't get in touch with him. [01:15:54] And it's like, you know, like tell me, all right. [01:15:57] And four matches were listen, hear me out. [01:16:00] I'm listening. [01:16:01] Four of my Ryan matches, right, were because they were trying to get to you. [01:16:05] And that's when I deleted Ryan. [01:16:06] You're off. [01:16:07] I'm off of it. [01:16:08] I've never been on it. [01:16:10] I know. [01:16:10] But my point is, is that, you know what I mean? [01:16:12] Like, you know, my point? [01:16:14] Yeah. [01:16:15] That women probably do stalk you. [01:16:17] I believe they do. [01:16:18] Oh, you're saying? [01:16:18] Yeah. [01:16:19] I do have a lot of women, you know what I mean, on my Instagram going, you know what I mean? [01:16:22] Tell Theo I think he's hot. [01:16:25] That's crazy. [01:16:26] Yeah, yeah. [01:16:26] And it's like, you know, I'm pretty hot. [01:16:29] Yeah. [01:16:30] Dude, if I were a gay dude, I would fucking smash you, dude. [01:16:34] Or I would date you or I'd ask you out. [01:16:35] Sorry. [01:16:36] Don't smash right away, man. [01:16:37] Where are you going to take me? === Vancouver Bathhouse Tales (15:42) === [01:16:38] Huh? [01:16:38] Where are you going to take me? [01:16:40] You know where. [01:16:41] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:16:42] I love LA. [01:16:43] Yeah. [01:16:44] Hi, guy, bro. [01:16:46] And we'll apologize for Charlie. [01:16:48] Hey, free appetizers. [01:16:49] Yeah. [01:16:50] No, dude. [01:16:50] You would take me somewhere nice. [01:16:52] I would take you somewhere. [01:16:52] Like if I said, like, what town is this? [01:16:56] LA, I would take you to Homo Kase if they have that, dude. [01:16:59] It's just too gay, dude. [01:17:00] Just disguising their wiener as fish. [01:17:03] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:17:04] Like, oh. [01:17:05] No, I think you would take me somewhere nice. [01:17:07] Like, if I go, hey, let's take me to Mastro's Steakhouse. [01:17:11] I would take you somewhere nice. [01:17:11] I'd take you there. [01:17:12] I'd take you there. [01:17:12] Yeah, yeah. [01:17:13] My friend Matt Weiss used to take me there all the time. [01:17:14] Would we make out, like, if you were gay and I was Edgar Tate, would you make out with me that night? [01:17:19] I don't think so. [01:17:20] I don't like to make out on a full stomach. [01:17:22] Oh, yeah, me either. [01:17:23] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:17:23] It's crazy. [01:17:24] Yeah, yeah. [01:17:25] And you know what I've been doing lately, dude? [01:17:27] Winter cleanings. [01:17:28] What is it? [01:17:28] Are you talking, uh, I've been doing inner cleanings, dude. [01:17:32] And what do you guys mean by it? [01:17:33] What do you mean, you guys? [01:17:35] What do you mean by it? [01:17:36] When you say inner cleanings. [01:17:38] When I say inner cleanings, what would that. [01:17:42] What are you talking about? [01:17:44] I just had a colonoscopy. [01:17:46] Oh, damn, that butt fountain or whatever? [01:17:48] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:17:49] I got a butt fountain. [01:17:50] They found no pulp. [01:17:51] Did they? [01:17:52] Yeah, and they found no cancer. [01:17:54] Let's go. [01:17:54] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:17:55] And now I do inner cleanings. [01:17:57] So what I'll do is by my bathtub, I have one of those Japanese toilets. [01:18:01] Yeah. [01:18:02] You know what I mean? [01:18:04] Oh, yeah, yeah. [01:18:04] Right, right. [01:18:05] Yeah. [01:18:05] I sit on it, it warms up right away. [01:18:07] My stepdaddy would shoot those if he saw them. [01:18:10] You Charlie would? [01:18:11] He wouldn't shoot, but he would draw on it. [01:18:14] Yeah, he would draw on it. [01:18:15] He would draw on it. [01:18:16] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:18:17] It's a flashback and trauma. [01:18:19] I know. [01:18:20] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:18:21] Of course. [01:18:21] That's what I'm saying, dude. [01:18:23] Anyway, and what I do is I have fancy body wash next to my toilet, right? [01:18:30] So I have a bidet. [01:18:31] You have a bidet? [01:18:32] No, I don't have that. [01:18:34] Do you know what one is? [01:18:35] Yeah, I know it's something that washes in your ass and stuff like that. [01:18:37] And I respect it. [01:18:38] I'm glad we have it as a culture, but I don't want it. [01:18:40] Why don't you want it? [01:18:41] I'd rather wash my own ass like a fucking man. [01:18:45] I know, but the thing is that when you use dry toilet paper, right, you're not getting the innards. [01:18:50] But sometimes you'll put some wetner on that toilet paper, dude. [01:18:53] What's a wetner? [01:18:54] Wetner, keep your little stash of water by your toilet. [01:18:57] Yeah, well, just get a fucking bode. [01:18:58] It just does it naturally when you press a button. [01:19:00] Yeah, if you. [01:19:01] You're gonna have a fucking wetner? [01:19:03] It's the same fucking thing. [01:19:05] Dude, I'm not fucking letting some Waymo fucking clean my ass, dude. [01:19:08] All right. [01:19:09] I'm doing it myself. [01:19:10] But you can control the angles. [01:19:12] I'm old fashioned. [01:19:13] All right, dude. [01:19:14] So, I control the levels. [01:19:15] Yeah. [01:19:15] So it hits the hole. [01:19:17] But that's not a colonoscopy, bud. [01:19:19] I already had one last week. [01:19:20] Okay. [01:19:20] But now I'm talking about cleaning my innards. [01:19:22] Do they let you keep anything that comes out of it? [01:19:24] Like if they have like a. [01:19:25] They found a fingernail. [01:19:26] Nuh uh. [01:19:27] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:19:27] They found a fingernail. [01:19:28] Fuck yeah. [01:19:28] I knew those were in there. [01:19:29] Somebody said those were in there. [01:19:30] Yeah, yeah. [01:19:31] Those are in there, dude. [01:19:32] No, but so I. [01:19:33] So your health is good? [01:19:34] No, no. [01:19:34] Let me finish my innards story, dude. [01:19:36] That's what your problem is. [01:19:38] You're right. [01:19:38] All right. [01:19:39] And I take some body wash, I let the Baudet hit directly into the, you know what I mean? [01:19:44] Calamari is what I like to call it. [01:19:46] Okay. [01:19:48] That's what it looks like. [01:19:49] Okay. [01:19:49] Right, right. [01:19:50] I hit the calamari, right? [01:19:52] And then sometimes I'll open up my own cheeks, right? [01:19:55] Oh, damn. [01:19:56] So that the water sprays right into the hole. [01:19:58] Into the hormuz, huh? [01:19:59] The hormuz, spraying the straight hormuz, right? [01:20:02] It does close. [01:20:04] It does close, right? [01:20:05] You know what I mean? [01:20:06] But, you know what I mean? [01:20:06] We're charging. [01:20:07] We're charging $2 million per vessel. [01:20:10] That's what you guys. [01:20:10] I charge my poo, dude. [01:20:12] Yeah. [01:20:13] I charge my poo $2 million and they pay it. [01:20:16] That's what you got to tell your butthole. [01:20:17] It's like, hey, blink twice if you're in trouble, you know? [01:20:19] Yeah, yeah. [01:20:20] So, anyway, I spray it inside, and then I'll take a tissue paper, some body wash, right? [01:20:25] I'll get it inside the hole, and I'll do a double spray. [01:20:29] Ooh. [01:20:29] Right? [01:20:30] In the hole, right? [01:20:31] Then I do a dry wipe. [01:20:33] Okay. [01:20:33] Right? [01:20:33] And I leave so that, like, you know what I mean? [01:20:35] When you're having sexualities with my girlfriend, right? [01:20:39] You know what I mean? [01:20:40] There's no problem. [01:20:41] Right. [01:20:42] I mean, aren't you self cleaning when you know you're about to hook up? [01:20:46] Yeah, I wash my whole body. [01:20:47] I've been taking a little break right now from dating and stuff like that. [01:20:50] But I wash my whole body. [01:20:53] I do that too. [01:20:55] I do that too. [01:20:56] Okay. [01:20:56] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:20:57] I didn't know that. [01:20:57] Not only was that. [01:21:00] I don't know. [01:21:02] I don't know what you're doing. [01:21:04] You're fucking. [01:21:04] No, wait, wait, wait. [01:21:05] Have you ever met yourself? [01:21:06] Have you ever met yourself? [01:21:07] Have you met yourself? [01:21:08] Yeah, it's crazy. [01:21:09] You're crazy, dude. [01:21:11] You're fucking crazy. [01:21:12] Whatever, dude. [01:21:13] You told me to do that. [01:21:14] Yeah, you know. [01:21:15] What did I tell you what? [01:21:16] Huh? [01:21:16] You said you used to work on the Andrea Gale, dude. [01:21:18] That fishing boat that went down, dude. [01:21:20] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:21:21] And I survived it. [01:21:21] Yeah. [01:21:22] Yeah, yeah. [01:21:22] I survived it. [01:21:23] And you lied, dude. [01:21:23] Yeah, I lied about it. [01:21:24] So my bad. [01:21:25] But let me say something right now, okay? [01:21:27] Of course I wash my body before I do that process. [01:21:30] Okay, got it. [01:21:31] Yeah, yeah. [01:21:31] That's all. [01:21:32] That's all I'm saying, all right? [01:21:33] All right. [01:21:33] Yeah, yeah. [01:21:34] See, that's all you do is wash your body. [01:21:36] I wash my body. [01:21:37] I wash my whole body, huh? [01:21:39] You steam your body? [01:21:39] I go to sauna in the morning. [01:21:42] In Nashville? [01:21:42] Yeah, Nashville or here. [01:21:44] Oh, you do? [01:21:45] I've never been to sauna with you. [01:21:46] You haven't? [01:21:47] No, I like to do it one day. [01:21:49] Yeah, I'd love to go over there, man. [01:21:50] If you know, there's supposed to be some good places that people go, like as a group and stuff. [01:21:54] I haven't been to any of those, I'll just do it at home, but also I'll go to Equinox over there and I'll go over there. [01:21:58] You mean as a group, like you know, people with a boy band? [01:22:01] There's like a bathhouse or something. [01:22:04] No, I'm not talking like an O Town reunion. [01:22:05] BTS is going, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, okay. [01:22:09] Like, if we gathered a group of comics, me, you, Gillis, Santino. [01:22:13] No, it'd be so fun. [01:22:13] That'd be fun. [01:22:14] You know what I mean? [01:22:15] And would you be like one of those people? [01:22:17] Because a lot of, and I know I'm bringing white up a lot, right? [01:22:21] Sorry. [01:22:21] All right. [01:22:22] But what I'm saying. [01:22:22] I knew you were going to do it before you came here. [01:22:25] Well, you bring up Asia a lot. [01:22:26] Like, you're confused about the whole fucking continent. [01:22:29] Well, you guys aren't sharing a ton of information. [01:22:33] To Iran, we are. [01:22:35] To Iran? [01:22:36] Yeah, we have satellites. [01:22:38] Well, we're not getting much. [01:22:41] You guys aren't sending me. [01:22:42] I'm an American. [01:22:42] Let's move on. [01:22:43] Okay. [01:22:43] Okay. [01:22:44] But what I want to say is: Have you seen this volleyball player that you. [01:22:47] We were trying to find a movie role for you. [01:22:49] When I was on Bad Friends, we were trying to find a movie role for you that would be really, really great. [01:22:52] And we're like, what would be a great movie role for Robbie? [01:22:55] And we found: Have you seen this guy? [01:22:57] Yeah. [01:22:58] Let's see it. [01:22:59] This is my boy Jordan Lucas over at C-Sun, dude. [01:23:02] Okay. [01:23:05] Splash, baby. [01:23:06] He gets it done, bro. [01:23:08] Oh, he's. [01:23:10] Oh, I see. [01:23:12] I understand. [01:23:13] Welcome to Vibe. [01:23:14] I understand. [01:23:14] Yeah, yeah, I understand. [01:23:15] Valleyball, baby. [01:23:16] That dude is hot. [01:23:17] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:23:18] He's in the valley, right? [01:23:19] He's at CSUN? [01:23:19] Yeah. [01:23:20] Yeah, CSUN. [01:23:20] Northridge. [01:23:21] Yeah, yeah. [01:23:21] Up in Northridge, bro. [01:23:22] Yeah, yeah. [01:23:24] Oh. [01:23:24] Yeah, yeah. [01:23:24] He put that flamenco on him, baby. [01:23:26] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:23:27] He's flashing that flamenco. [01:23:29] Yeah. [01:23:30] So that's. [01:23:31] I would play a black gay man in a movie. [01:23:33] No, this guy's not black. [01:23:35] He's not? [01:23:35] What is he? [01:23:36] No. [01:23:37] Jordan Lucas? [01:23:37] Yeah. [01:23:38] He's a fucking boss. [01:23:39] That's what he is. [01:23:40] Oh, he's a boss. [01:23:41] Yeah, dude. [01:23:42] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:23:43] He seems like a black boss. [01:23:45] He's sassy, bro. [01:23:46] He's sassy, yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:23:48] Now, would you be intimidated playing against him? [01:23:50] Bro, game set, sassy, bro. [01:23:51] That dude is a fucking boss, bro. [01:23:54] Yes, I'd be intimidated playing against anybody that plays volleyball well. [01:23:59] Yeah, oh, that's true. [01:24:00] He's a boss, yeah. [01:24:01] Shout out C-Sun. [01:24:02] And what's your team name? [01:24:04] And it says right there, I can't stop watching the vid of this Northridge College Volleyball Beast Diva, LOL. [01:24:10] That's where we're at, bro. [01:24:13] The Beast Divas have launched, homie. [01:24:16] Yeah, bro. [01:24:17] That's what we need. [01:24:19] You need that kind of energy in the world. [01:24:22] You need aggressive, capable gay males. [01:24:28] Or semi gay. [01:24:29] I don't have no idea. [01:24:30] But is this guy definitely? [01:24:31] Has he said that he's going to be saying that? [01:24:33] I saw an interview with him. [01:24:34] He's gay. [01:24:35] He could only, but he could be straight and have gay moves. [01:24:39] I've done some gay moves, but I'm 95% straight. [01:24:42] We know, dude. [01:24:43] No, no, no. [01:24:44] Like, I'll wait and I'll go. [01:24:46] Okay. [01:24:46] You know what I mean? [01:24:47] But that doesn't necessarily mean. [01:24:49] Right. [01:24:49] You know what I mean? [01:24:50] Oh, yeah. [01:24:51] Like when I kiss the tip, I do it manly. [01:24:54] Okay. [01:24:54] You know what I mean? [01:24:55] That's not like a dad kissing his son goodbye. [01:24:58] Yeah. [01:24:58] Yeah. [01:24:59] The one kiss a year. [01:25:00] Yeah. [01:25:03] Like that, dude. [01:25:03] Yeah. [01:25:04] Yeah. [01:25:04] Like aggressive, but like hetero. [01:25:07] Yeah. [01:25:07] Yeah. [01:25:07] Hetero. [01:25:08] Yeah. [01:25:08] For sure. [01:25:09] Yeah. [01:25:09] Have you seen the Thai draft? [01:25:12] So there's a draft in Thailand? [01:25:14] No. [01:25:14] Yeah. [01:25:15] Bro, Spike Lee, that would be your name, dude. [01:25:17] If that would be your Asian name, bro. [01:25:20] If you play volleyball, that's so funny. [01:25:22] Yeah, That'd be so fucking sick, dude. [01:25:24] Yeah. [01:25:25] Ladies and gentlemen, Spike Lee. [01:25:26] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:25:27] And I'd be spiking you. [01:25:28] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:25:31] Dude, you would be. [01:25:32] We should do a movie, Heated Rivalry, where I'm Spike Lee, right? [01:25:37] And we're not putting you on the poster if we do it. [01:25:39] You're Volley Vaughn. [01:25:41] But we'll do a movie, you and me are the leads, and just I'm on the poster. [01:25:44] But it's like Heated Rivalry, where I hand you a. [01:25:46] And you just hand us a finger? [01:25:47] There's a finger. [01:25:48] Right. [01:25:49] What do you think? [01:25:52] So, you're saying what we do like it's a movie, so it's not real. [01:25:54] It's art. [01:25:55] It's art. [01:25:55] You think when broke back Jake Jonah? [01:25:57] Yeah. [01:25:58] I know Jake. [01:25:58] You do? [01:25:59] I love him. [01:26:00] Oh, yeah. [01:26:00] Yeah, I had dinner with him once. [01:26:01] He's a great guy. [01:26:02] You did? [01:26:02] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:26:03] Oh, my gosh, you never even said that. [01:26:05] Well, how would you know? [01:26:06] You never asked me. [01:26:07] You think you would tell me? [01:26:08] Yeah, yeah. [01:26:09] Well, I don't tell you everyone I've had dinner with. [01:26:11] I know that, but at least you would say, hey, Jake Gillen on a date. [01:26:13] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:26:14] He's a great guy. [01:26:15] He's so funny. [01:26:16] Who's your dream guest to have on your podcast on Bad Friends? [01:26:19] Oh, shit, dog. [01:26:20] My dream guest? [01:26:21] Or on your own podcast? [01:26:24] Tiger Belly is my own podcast. [01:26:25] Yeah. [01:26:26] But I'm going to say Tiger Belly or Bad Friends. [01:26:28] The dream guest would be Brad Pitt. [01:26:34] Wow. [01:26:34] Yeah. [01:26:35] I just want to see what it's all about. [01:26:37] To see it up close and personal, yeah. [01:26:40] Damn, bro. [01:26:40] I want to see if it's an illusion or if it's real. [01:26:43] If it's makeup. [01:26:44] Have you seen him in real life before, Brad Pitt? [01:26:46] I saw him one time. [01:26:47] Yeah. [01:26:47] Is it real? [01:26:48] I mean, I was scared. [01:26:50] I didn't know what to do. [01:26:50] And I just. [01:26:51] Yeah. [01:26:51] You trembled, probably. [01:26:52] Oh, yeah. [01:26:53] I was like opening a door for him and I got all scared and shit. [01:26:55] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:26:56] He went in the building. [01:26:56] I followed him. [01:26:57] Yeah. [01:26:58] I know. [01:26:59] But when you look at him, but he moved quick. [01:27:01] Yeah, I know. [01:27:01] He looks like a very quick guy. [01:27:03] Yeah. [01:27:03] Like one time I was, you know, nothing about soccer. [01:27:07] No, I know the World Cup's coming in the USA. [01:27:09] Yeah, yeah, that's good. [01:27:10] But anyway, my favorite soccer team is Arsenal FC. [01:27:14] When you do it, I do it. [01:27:16] And so the soccer team has a lot. [01:27:18] Likely! [01:27:21] War! [01:27:22] Good God! [01:27:24] What is it good for? [01:27:26] Absolutely nothing. [01:27:27] Say it again! [01:27:29] Okay, so I'm an Arsenal fan. [01:27:32] Here's the thing about you you don't listen. [01:27:35] Here's the thing about you. [01:27:37] You're already thinking about what you're going to say next, like a different topic. [01:27:41] So when I'm, I know your eyes, right? [01:27:43] So when I'm talking, right, you're already thinking about something else. [01:27:46] You're not really listening. [01:27:47] Okay, my bad. [01:27:47] Let me drop in. [01:27:50] You want this to be over? [01:27:51] No, I don't. [01:27:51] Tell me about Arsenal, dude. [01:27:53] All right. [01:27:54] So their legendary player is a guy named Thierry Henry. [01:27:57] Thierry Henry. [01:27:58] T H I E R R Y. [01:28:00] Yeah. [01:28:01] How'd you know that? [01:28:01] Because I've seen him before. [01:28:02] Yeah, yeah. [01:28:03] He's one of the greats. [01:28:04] People say he looks like Sully McCullough as well, a little bit. [01:28:06] Yeah, yeah, a little bit. [01:28:06] Yeah, yeah. [01:28:07] It's fair, right? [01:28:07] Yeah, yeah. [01:28:08] Yeah. [01:28:08] So Henri, I was at a hotel. [01:28:11] And you met him? [01:28:12] No. [01:28:13] So I was in a hotel in New York, right? [01:28:15] I was shooting the movie The Dictator, right? [01:28:18] And they put us in a, I forgot what hotel it was. [01:28:20] And I remember being in the elevator and Henri walked in. [01:28:23] Did they put you on the poster or not The Dictator? [01:28:25] No. [01:28:26] And I had more lines than Bus Boys. [01:28:28] But they didn't care about you. [01:28:31] Yeah. [01:28:31] They didn't care about me. [01:28:32] You cared about me. [01:28:33] I can't believe I didn't ask you that. [01:28:34] Anyway, Henri walks in, right? [01:28:38] And. [01:28:39] You know, obviously, there's it's like, hey, I'm a huge fan, or can I get a photo or whatever? [01:28:48] You said that to him? [01:28:48] No, nothing came out of my mouth. [01:28:51] I was so in shock that he was the last person that I ever thought I would dreamt meeting or seeing in real life. [01:28:58] Yes, of course. [01:28:59] That when he got off his floor, the words couldn't come out. [01:29:03] No. [01:29:04] Yeah, yeah. [01:29:04] That's how much of a fan I was. [01:29:07] And then when I missed my moment, I missed my moment. [01:29:09] You know what I mean? [01:29:11] So the other day I was at, Pizzeria Bianco, right? [01:29:15] And the dude that runs, that created it, I'm a big fan of. [01:29:22] He was in the restaurant. [01:29:24] No way. [01:29:24] Yeah. [01:29:25] And I walked right up to him. [01:29:26] I go, can I get a photo? [01:29:27] And he goes, sure, kid. [01:29:28] So I do it every time now because I'm not fans of like, you know. [01:29:32] Kyrie was in the restaurant? [01:29:33] No, this guy that created Pizzeria Bianco. [01:29:36] Oh, he was in the restaurant. [01:29:37] It's one of the best pizzerias in the world. [01:29:39] The creator. [01:29:39] Who's it? [01:29:40] Bring it up. [01:29:41] That's him right there. [01:29:41] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:29:43] Chris Bianco. [01:29:44] Yeah, Chris Bianco. [01:29:45] Oh, I've seen him before. [01:29:46] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:29:47] There's one downtown in LA. [01:29:48] Very good pizza. [01:29:49] I don't go down there too much, but I will. [01:29:51] Yeah, yeah. [01:29:52] But anyway, so now when I see somebody, can you listen? [01:29:56] Yeah, I'm back. [01:29:59] I'm here. [01:29:59] Okay. [01:30:00] Now when I see somebody, like, I'm not like fans of, oh, there's, you know what I mean? [01:30:05] Sabrina Carpenter or David Robinson. [01:30:08] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:30:09] Mitch McConnell. [01:30:11] Like Mitch McConnell, like Eternal Eyes. [01:30:13] I call him. [01:30:13] You know what I mean? [01:30:15] You know what I mean? [01:30:16] So most people are like, I've got to get a selfie with Mitch. [01:30:19] You know what I mean? [01:30:20] When he's in a zone, he's frozen. [01:30:22] You know what I mean? [01:30:23] When he freezes up, that's my favorite part of him. [01:30:25] Oh, he's glitching. [01:30:26] Yeah, he's glitching. [01:30:26] Yeah, You know what I mean? [01:30:28] But anyway, that's his cum face. [01:30:30] Did you know that? [01:30:31] Oh, damn. [01:30:35] Anyway, like Mitch McConnell. [01:30:37] Oh, that's crazy. [01:30:38] Yeah, yeah, that's a scum face, dude. [01:30:40] Bro, we're going to go to hell for doing this. [01:30:42] That's a real face? [01:30:43] Yeah, that's a real face, dude. [01:30:44] Yeah. [01:30:44] See, they're using some of these senior citizens, dude. [01:30:47] Yeah. [01:30:47] They're just, they're using them to just. [01:30:49] But imagine his Chinese wife underneath them, and that's the face he uses. [01:30:53] Oh, yeah. [01:30:53] Oh, dude. [01:30:54] You know what I mean? [01:30:55] You got to use that. [01:30:56] Yeah, yeah, you got to use that. [01:30:57] Anyway, so are you fans with somebody that's weird that if you ran into them, that you'd be starstruck? [01:31:04] I think probably Marilyn Manson, probably. [01:31:09] He's dead. [01:31:10] Huh? [01:31:11] Someone alive. [01:31:12] Oh. [01:31:12] Yeah. [01:31:13] I could go out through history like Genghis Khan. [01:31:15] That'd be cool. [01:31:16] Yeah, yeah. [01:31:17] But yeah, but Marilyn Manson's dead. [01:31:18] Yeah. [01:31:20] Is there somebody that you would like? [01:31:22] You're in an elevator. [01:31:22] He didn't die. [01:31:23] Are you thinking Marilyn Manson's still alive? [01:31:25] Charles Manson. [01:31:25] Oh, you meant Charles Manson. [01:31:27] Oh, Marilyn Manson. [01:31:28] Yeah, Marilyn Manson, dude. [01:31:29] Oh, so I'm like, thank God. [01:31:31] Oh, thank God. [01:31:33] Thank God he didn't die. [01:31:35] Oh. [01:31:35] Oh, fuck. [01:31:35] Yeah, no. [01:31:36] Yeah. [01:31:37] I know him. [01:31:38] You do. [01:31:38] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:31:39] Dang, yeah, yeah, I do know him. [01:31:40] Yeah, I, I, I met. [01:31:41] We kind of were talking to like somebody that works with him for a little bit, and then, um, but uh, yeah, I think probably him would be somebody that'd be really neat. [01:31:49] The Pope, maybe, oh, Pope Leo, or the previous one, the new one, the one that's beefing with Trump online. [01:31:55] What about the one that JD Vance killed? [01:31:58] You remember that guy? [01:31:59] I didn't even heard of that, yeah, yeah. [01:32:01] Remember JD Vance visited him, and the next thing he died, oh, yeah, yeah. [01:32:04] So it's like, yeah, so that's why I mean, I will say, look, JD has a strong handshake, I know, but now this Pope. [01:32:12] Wherever JD's at, he's not there. [01:32:13] Oh, I see what you're saying. [01:32:14] Yeah, yeah. [01:32:14] Like, he was in Africa, and then JD was, like, in DC. [01:32:18] And if JD went to Africa, the Pope would go to Antarctica. === Pope Leo JD Vance Rumors (14:58) === [01:32:21] You know what I mean? [01:32:22] That Pope ain't fucking fucking with no JD. [01:32:23] The Pope on a rope, bro. [01:32:24] Yeah, he was the Pope on a rope. [01:32:25] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:32:25] Yeah, that last one definitely was. [01:32:27] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:32:28] Oh, so if you ran into the Pope, or what about, can I just name some names? [01:32:33] Yeah, I'm trying to think. [01:32:33] Because people I'd be starstruck by. [01:32:35] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:32:36] And that you would, like, oh, fuck, I gotta get a photo. [01:32:38] Oh, Julia Roberts, I would be starstruck. [01:32:39] Oh, yeah, yeah. [01:32:40] You get a photo? [01:32:40] I don't know if I'd ask for a photo, but I would just be starstruck. [01:32:43] Yeah, yeah. [01:32:43] I don't know if I' I think sometimes it's better to just say, nah, I'm okay without a photo. [01:32:49] This is what, so here's the thing, okay? [01:32:52] That's how I feel about it. [01:32:53] When I was at Coachella, yeah, right? [01:32:55] And I saw Sabrina Carpenter and I saw, I went for the strokes, right? [01:33:00] And I got front row. [01:33:02] So did Mitch McConnell. [01:33:03] Yeah. [01:33:05] Sorry, it's a bad joke. [01:33:05] All right, let's go on. [01:33:06] Yeah. [01:33:07] Oh my God. [01:33:09] Dude. [01:33:11] My poker face. [01:33:12] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:33:14] He does look like a turtle, dude. [01:33:15] Does he? [01:33:16] That part I don't even see. [01:33:17] I just see a senior man that's getting used to funnel ideas and danger through. [01:33:25] There should be an age. [01:33:26] Do you believe there's got to be a limit? [01:33:28] They got to put a cap. [01:33:29] What's the cap? [01:33:31] 60? [01:33:32] 65. [01:33:32] 65 cap. [01:33:34] After 65, you're out. [01:33:35] You're out. [01:33:35] Yeah. [01:33:36] I think so too. [01:33:37] Because I'm 54, I'll do crazy shit. [01:33:39] Would you ever run? [01:33:41] I'd run fast. [01:33:42] Would you ever run for office? [01:33:44] Yeah. [01:33:44] Would you? [01:33:45] Yeah. [01:33:46] A congressperson or something. [01:33:47] We need somebody. [01:33:48] I think so, yeah. [01:33:49] You know, one of the things. [01:33:50] But my ideas are cray cray. [01:33:51] I mean, I don't know. [01:33:51] Ask me about something, I'll tell you what I would do. [01:33:53] But here's the thing we have the first Vietnamese House of Representatives person was from Louisiana. [01:34:03] Really? [01:34:04] Yep. [01:34:04] Yeah. [01:34:04] Look him up. [01:34:05] Yeah. [01:34:06] So you can differentiate between Vietnamese and Chinese, then? [01:34:10] I wouldn't say that. [01:34:12] But I would say that that's our boy right there. [01:34:14] All right. [01:34:16] Joseph Cal. [01:34:17] And he's from your homeland? [01:34:20] Yeah, that's him right there. [01:34:21] Yeah, yeah. [01:34:22] He's a boss, dude. [01:34:23] He's a boss, dude. [01:34:23] Born in Saigon. [01:34:25] Yeah. [01:34:25] Born in Saigon, went to Baylor. [01:34:27] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:34:28] So you need more Asians in Congress. [01:34:31] Yeah. [01:34:32] And more Filipinos. [01:34:33] If it was all Filipinos, I don't think anything bad would ever happen to the world, do you? [01:34:36] No, dude. [01:34:38] I think you're right. [01:34:39] That's the truth. [01:34:39] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:34:40] But there'd be a lot of. [01:34:42] You could run on the same ticket, dude, with Jake Paul. [01:34:45] Jake Paul has my. [01:34:46] Yeah, but we're different parties. [01:34:47] Would you ever, dude? [01:34:48] Because this is actually something I did here. [01:34:51] Jake. [01:34:52] Somebody said you got offered to do WWE. [01:34:54] Is that true? [01:34:57] No. [01:34:57] Are you serious? [01:34:59] Yeah, stop pointing at me, dog. [01:35:00] Yeah, I'm fucking serious, bro. [01:35:02] All right. [01:35:02] Are you serious? [01:35:03] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:35:04] I'm serious, dude. [01:35:05] Yeah, I heard that. [01:35:06] Yeah, yeah. [01:35:08] But here's what happens, right? [01:35:10] I don't get 80% of it. [01:35:11] You know what I mean? [01:35:13] It goes through like a funnel to me. [01:35:15] Because my people know what I will and will not do. [01:35:18] For sure. [01:35:18] And WWE is something I probably wouldn't want to do. [01:35:20] Really? [01:35:21] Because I would lose. [01:35:23] I would lose. [01:35:23] What if we did a tag team match against Logan Paul and his brother? [01:35:27] I would do that too. [01:35:29] Yeah, let's challenge Logan Paul, right? [01:35:32] And his brother, Jake. [01:35:34] Yeah. [01:35:35] Tag team. [01:35:35] We have to wear costumes now. [01:35:37] And the winner has to pay the other's taxes. [01:35:40] For how many years? [01:35:41] Just one year? [01:35:42] For one year, Jake. [01:35:42] But you think he would win? [01:35:44] Fuck it. [01:35:45] Fuck yeah. [01:35:47] I think they're not all that. [01:35:48] Dude, dude. [01:35:49] Of course. [01:35:50] I would tag you real quick. [01:35:51] Yeah. [01:35:52] You would? [01:35:52] Yeah, I'm opening. [01:35:53] And I would tag you. [01:35:54] Yeah, we tag each other. [01:35:55] Dude, that's what we stay in the corner and we keep tagging each other. [01:35:58] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:35:59] Till they get dizzy. [01:36:00] We become a cyclone of tagging, right? [01:36:03] And then they get all confused, right? [01:36:04] And then we both get onto the ropes, right? [01:36:07] And we do what? [01:36:09] We jump off. [01:36:10] Yes. [01:36:11] And? [01:36:12] And we attack them. [01:36:12] And we attack them that way. [01:36:13] Yeah, dude. [01:36:14] We attack that way. [01:36:15] Yeah. [01:36:15] Through the air. [01:36:17] Yeah, like we did to Iran. [01:36:18] Or we get a drone to take us up. [01:36:20] Oh, right. [01:36:20] Ukrainian or Iranian? [01:36:22] Whatever one still has a little bit of gas money left. [01:36:26] Yeah, Whatever one, yeah. [01:36:28] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:36:28] And we take that up. [01:36:29] We'll take that up, right? [01:36:30] And we'll just collide right into them. [01:36:32] I think we could do it. [01:36:34] But would you get involved in personal, like even in local politics? [01:36:38] Like Spencer Pratt is running for mayor of LA now. [01:36:40] You know that. [01:36:40] No, I don't know that. [01:36:41] You don't know that. [01:36:41] No, no, no. [01:36:42] And, you know, and that'd be cool. [01:36:43] I don't know if I'd both of them, you know what I do, do, do? [01:36:46] What? [01:36:46] When I do, I donate to Canada sometimes. [01:36:54] To help them? [01:36:55] Yeah. [01:36:56] Do you ever do that? [01:36:56] I love Canada. [01:36:59] Excuse me? [01:36:59] I love Canada. [01:37:00] Yeah. [01:37:01] Oh, you give Canadian politicians money? [01:37:05] No. [01:37:06] I don't donate to them, but I love Canada. [01:37:07] I think it's a great place. [01:37:08] Yeah, I love Argentina. [01:37:10] What the fuck are you talking about? [01:37:11] They have the best posture. [01:37:12] You don't even know Argentina. [01:37:13] Yeah, they have the best soccer players. [01:37:15] Argentina. [01:37:15] Aguera, Messi. [01:37:16] Yeah. [01:37:17] I saw Messi play one time. [01:37:19] What, Miami? [01:37:20] Nashville. [01:37:21] Oh, right. [01:37:22] But it was with the Miami team? [01:37:23] Yeah. [01:37:23] Yeah. [01:37:24] They played there. [01:37:24] Dude, it was great. [01:37:26] I like, I would like to watch soccer more. [01:37:28] I think I'm going to try to go to a game when it's here. [01:37:31] Yeah. [01:37:32] You like those things. [01:37:33] Can I tell you something about something that made me real sad? [01:37:36] Yeah. [01:37:37] So, with the last UFC fight that you and I were at, what kind of seats did you get? [01:37:45] We got good seats. [01:37:46] You did? [01:37:46] Yes. [01:37:47] What would you think my seats were like? [01:37:49] I saw your seats. [01:37:50] They were good. [01:37:52] Better than yours? [01:37:53] No. [01:37:54] It depends on what you're looking for. [01:37:56] I'm looking to get closest to the cage. [01:38:00] I didn't know that. [01:38:01] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:38:02] You think I want to be out there? [01:38:04] They put you. [01:38:05] Yeah, yeah. [01:38:05] There is a zone where there's a lot of people that. [01:38:09] Influencers? [01:38:10] No. [01:38:11] Okay, what kind of people? [01:38:12] Or people, yeah, influencers, but people that are like. [01:38:14] There's a lot of people that have like. [01:38:16] It's like wheelchair access. [01:38:17] It's like. [01:38:18] Yeah, That's why I saw that. [01:38:22] People that are impaired, like people that are neck braces, back braces. [01:38:24] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:38:25] People that are on fluids and shit. [01:38:26] Exactly. [01:38:27] And they, yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:38:27] You were right there, though, along the road where people come out. [01:38:32] Attachments to them. [01:38:33] Yeah, you're like in the neck race section. [01:38:34] Water. [01:38:35] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:38:37] They have a cane. [01:38:38] Yeah, I mean, the biff. [01:38:41] They have the biff. [01:38:41] Yeah, just an aquifer, basically. [01:38:44] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:38:45] People that were just like that. [01:38:46] Exactly. [01:38:47] So I'm in that section, right? [01:38:49] And for a split second, I was kind of like, why am I here? [01:38:52] You know what I mean? [01:38:53] Pop, because it was your first fight. [01:38:55] Really? [01:38:55] So the next time I go to a fight, because I love the sport, can I just go with you? [01:39:00] Yeah. [01:39:01] Will I still be in the oxygen? [01:39:05] I can ask Dana if he would allow me, if he allows me to go. [01:39:09] No, you're always around that. [01:39:12] Yeah. [01:39:13] I'm a fan of the sport. [01:39:14] You're always around that. [01:39:16] But it's still at his grace, you know? [01:39:18] It's like he picks who can go, right? [01:39:20] Wait, wait, wait, wait. [01:39:22] The people that you, your friends, are bigger than me that you had around you? [01:39:28] Are they? [01:39:29] What do you mean, like popularity wise? [01:39:31] No, Gianni's with me all the time. [01:39:32] Is he more popular than me? [01:39:35] In the urban circles, he is. [01:39:36] This is me at the oxygen area. [01:39:38] You're having a good time. [01:39:39] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:39:41] Yeah, I was having a spasm, dude. [01:39:43] Bro, look how close. [01:39:44] I've never gotten to sit where you sat here. [01:39:46] That's amazing, bro. [01:39:47] To cheer people when they come out. [01:39:49] Yeah, but then when you put your hand out, they don't never slap my hand. [01:39:52] Bro. [01:39:52] Yeah, yeah. [01:39:53] That guy's a beast, dude. [01:39:54] Who is that guy, Nick? [01:39:56] Ateba Gautier. [01:39:57] Yeah, yeah. [01:39:57] Isn't he like in a six fight win streak? [01:39:59] Yeah, all first round knocked out. [01:40:00] I like Gautier, yeah. [01:40:02] And, dude, you got to see Rose Namajunas when she came out. [01:40:04] Okay. [01:40:04] Is that how you say her last name? [01:40:06] Namajunas. [01:40:06] Namajunas? [01:40:07] Yeah, yeah. [01:40:08] Dude, Thug Rose, bro, just to see that, yeah. [01:40:10] You're right. [01:40:11] I've sat in a lot of different places. [01:40:12] I haven't always got to sit up close, but it has been fun when I got to. [01:40:16] Yeah. [01:40:16] But yeah. [01:40:17] Next time you sit up close, because I've never been there. [01:40:20] Can I just go with you? [01:40:21] Yes, please. [01:40:22] I'm going in July. [01:40:23] If I am able to sit up close, then I would love for you to go. [01:40:25] And just ask Dana, like my friend, you know what I mean? [01:40:28] I'm going to send him a JPEG of you. [01:40:31] Straight up, I'll say you used to fight. [01:40:35] Just say the real thing. [01:40:37] You did used to fight. [01:40:38] No, no. [01:40:40] Say I'm your friend. [01:40:41] I'll say it's my friend, yeah. [01:40:42] You're right. [01:40:43] I'm not going to lie to him. [01:40:44] Yeah, yeah. [01:40:45] Well, then why would you lie just now? [01:40:47] You're right. [01:40:48] No, I'm right. [01:40:49] You are. [01:40:50] Why do you lie? [01:40:50] I'm not lying, dude. [01:40:51] I was thinking about lying. [01:40:53] Okay. [01:40:54] Anyway. [01:40:55] And I said I'm not. [01:40:56] So what did you think of today's podcast? [01:40:58] I thought it was good. [01:40:59] Let's do a regroup. [01:41:01] You know what I mean? [01:41:01] Okay. [01:41:01] Let's go through some stuff. [01:41:02] For one, yeah, I do feel. [01:41:05] For one, I'm happy to get to see you. [01:41:08] Oh, I do want to say also, Brittany Schmidt's dog passed away. [01:41:12] So, I think we can just say, so sorry. [01:41:15] Brittany, we love you. [01:41:16] And the dog's name was Biggie. [01:41:17] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:41:21] And that he's in a better place. [01:41:22] My dog Remy passed away a month and a half ago. [01:41:26] Oh. [01:41:27] Did you have to have someone come over and help put it down? [01:41:31] My friend just had to have that. [01:41:33] My friend Tim, remember Bizzle, who you always fight with at the casino? [01:41:35] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:41:36] Where is he? [01:41:36] Huh? [01:41:37] He's the one that was trying to shit with me on fucking line, dude. [01:41:39] Dude, he just texted me earlier today. [01:41:41] He just texted me today. [01:41:42] This is what he said. [01:41:42] Can I tell you what Bizzle is? [01:41:44] Is this him? [01:41:45] Yeah. [01:41:45] Hold on, this piece of shit. [01:41:47] Dude, I'm not even joking. [01:41:49] The text he sent, he goes, Tell that motherfucker to wash his ass. [01:41:52] That's what he said. [01:41:53] Okay, this is what he said. [01:41:54] What are the odds of that? [01:41:56] He goes, Bro, you trying to beef with me saying I invite this shit? [01:42:00] Don't come into the studio today trying to start beef or you're going to get God type shit. [01:42:05] Where is that guy? [01:42:06] I want to get God. [01:42:07] I want to see what that means. [01:42:08] He's in. [01:42:09] You know, because I'm going to tell you this right now, dude. [01:42:11] He's pussified. [01:42:12] Yeah. [01:42:12] Yeah, yeah. [01:42:13] I'll destroy him. [01:42:14] Yeah. [01:42:15] Okay. [01:42:15] He's strong, right? [01:42:17] But I have ways. [01:42:18] I'll go nom, dude. [01:42:19] I think you could do it. [01:42:20] I'll build a tunnel and a pathway. [01:42:22] Oh, so it's okay for you to go nom and just completely. [01:42:25] Yeah, we can do it. [01:42:26] Be a culture vulture. [01:42:26] Yeah, yeah. [01:42:27] We can be a culture vulture. [01:42:29] I'll go nom. [01:42:29] My step. [01:42:30] Father can't walk back in. [01:42:32] He's a white, he's a confused white. [01:42:33] No, yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:42:35] There's a difference between being Asian, right, and being confused white, guy. [01:42:40] Yeah, you're right. [01:42:41] You're right. [01:42:41] I'm just trying to be not philosophical, guy. [01:42:43] I know there is. [01:42:44] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:42:46] It just breaks my heart. [01:42:47] Yeah, what? [01:42:47] It breaks my heart that we can't, like, you know, get closer and with that divide, dude. [01:42:52] I know. [01:42:52] We're going to do it better. [01:42:53] Next time we'll do it better, dude. [01:42:55] I think this is one of those. [01:42:56] Go ahead. [01:42:57] Sorry. [01:42:57] I think this is one of those times where it's like, yeah, we kind of hit a spot where it's like, Okay, yeah, sometimes I do feel pressure. [01:43:03] Like, if we're, if like, yeah, it's like you get clips that are viral and like you do see that, you can't even not see it. [01:43:08] And it's like, and then like people, every time, you know, you'll be somewhere, like there's a video somewhere, there's a funeral and the guy's yelling, boobie at it, you know, like it's like, what can you do? [01:43:17] But it's like, yeah, you do feel some pressure and it's not in that, those that's why I've been avoiding it. [01:43:22] But that, but I'm saying, right? [01:43:23] But those moments aren't like, it's not fair to all, it's not fair for me to bring in the like, I thought about that before you came. [01:43:31] I thought about, yeah. [01:43:33] Great listening. [01:43:34] I thought about that before you came and I said, God, like, let me just have a, this is so stupid that we're even thinking about this. [01:43:40] But let me just have a nice conversation with my friend and let me have a new experience. [01:43:44] Yeah. [01:43:45] I felt the same way driving here. [01:43:46] Like, I've been avoiding doing it with you because there's just so much pressure on it. [01:43:51] You know what I mean? [01:43:52] Well, we had so much fun when I came into Bad Friends. [01:43:55] Yeah. [01:43:55] How great was that? [01:43:56] That was great. [01:43:56] You know what I mean? [01:43:57] But we might have not gotten anything today. [01:43:59] Well, it took me 600 episodes to get invited over there. [01:44:03] If you go on and really want to look at the calendar. [01:44:07] But I know you guys are busy. [01:44:08] No, Look at me right now, dude. [01:44:11] That's tragic. [01:44:14] I'll tell you this. [01:44:16] We're not a guest driven show. [01:44:18] We've had maybe 10 guests in our whole whatever the run. [01:44:21] Oh, I didn't know that. [01:44:22] Yeah, yeah. [01:44:24] We've had Jack Black, Shia. [01:44:25] You know what I mean? [01:44:26] Yeah, we get the biggest people we can get to do the guests. [01:44:31] What's that tall orange man who plays basketball? [01:44:34] Women, yum. [01:44:34] No, no, what's that tall orange man that plays best? [01:44:37] Blake Griffin. [01:44:37] Blake Griffin. [01:44:38] Oh, yeah. [01:44:38] The tall orange. [01:44:40] You know what I mean? [01:44:41] Oh, yeah. [01:44:41] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:44:42] Vitamin C, they call them. [01:44:43] Yeah, the vitamin C. [01:44:43] We got, when we got vitamin C, we got it. [01:44:46] You know what I mean? [01:44:47] And we were lucky to have you. [01:44:48] But it's like, it's not a personal thing. [01:44:50] No, I'm feeling it. [01:44:51] It's a scheduling thing. [01:44:52] Yeah. [01:44:52] Yeah. [01:44:53] And so let me ask the boys in the booth what do you think of today's episode? [01:45:01] There are great moments. [01:45:02] And I just think you guys talk so naturally funny to each other. [01:45:05] You don't realize what, There's going to be some viral moment from this that we don't know. [01:45:09] That's the good point. [01:45:11] So, you know what? [01:45:12] Don't live in the results. [01:45:13] We did it. [01:45:14] You know what I mean? [01:45:15] I think there are some things in there. [01:45:16] You know what I mean? [01:45:16] Yeah, we had a good time. [01:45:17] If there isn't, fuck it. [01:45:19] I just want to have a good time with my friend. [01:45:20] Yeah, I had a good time at times. [01:45:22] And that is true. [01:45:23] Yeah. [01:45:23] Yeah, I think that sometimes you're confused, but that's what I like about you. [01:45:27] Yeah. [01:45:27] I mean, you don't know what you're talking about. [01:45:30] Well, but I'm trying to learn, man. [01:45:31] And you're a learner, dude. [01:45:33] Sometimes you help me, sometimes you don't. [01:45:35] And I could say that's the same about you. [01:45:38] And I cannot believe that David Spade put you on that movie poster. [01:45:41] I think you did that. [01:45:42] He said that you did that. [01:45:43] No, he did not. [01:45:44] Yeah, he did. [01:45:45] I would never do that. [01:45:46] Yeah, you would. [01:45:47] I don't even know how to do Photoshop. [01:45:48] You know what? [01:45:49] I don't even know how to Photoshop. [01:45:50] No, you're people. [01:45:52] These guys know how. [01:45:53] And I went to Spade. [01:45:54] No, just listen. [01:45:55] Listen, I went to Spade and I go, dude, it's kind of fucking weird. [01:45:59] I have like two lines in this movie and you put me in the center of this poster. [01:46:02] And he goes, Really? [01:46:03] Fuck Theo. [01:46:05] That's what he said, dude. [01:46:09] That's what he said. [01:46:10] Should we call him? [01:46:12] Yeah. [01:46:13] I don't think he'll answer. [01:46:16] He's probably busy eating dinner or something because he has so much money. [01:46:19] Oh, sushi, probably. [01:46:20] It's always sushi with him. [01:46:22] Have you noticed that? [01:46:23] Yeah. [01:46:23] Yeah. [01:46:24] It is. [01:46:25] With a lot of you guys. [01:46:31] Let's see what he says. [01:46:32] That's a nice picture of us. [01:46:40] Let me call him. [01:46:41] Okay. [01:46:46] He could be taking a bath or whatever. [01:46:48] Are you guys calling me together? [01:46:50] No. [01:46:50] What are you talking about? [01:46:52] No. [01:46:52] Theo just called me. [01:46:53] Yeah. [01:46:54] But you know what I love? [01:46:55] You picked up for me and not him. [01:46:57] I knew it. [01:46:57] Yeah. [01:47:01] I love the fact that you picked up for me and you didn't pick up for Theo. [01:47:05] No, I love Theo, but I'm at dinner. [01:47:07] Yeah. [01:47:07] But why would you pick up for me? [01:47:09] Because I knew you were in cahoots. [01:47:10] I go, we got a situation. [01:47:12] Yeah, yeah. [01:47:13] Well, just real quick, we want to clear something up, right? [01:47:15] Yeah. [01:47:15] All right. [01:47:16] So, when I said to you, you know what I mean? [01:47:18] Why am I in the center of this poster? === New Game Show Chaos (06:14) === [01:47:19] I only had three lines. [01:47:21] And you said, oh, fucking Theo. [01:47:24] So, Theo did it. [01:47:25] Yeah, Theo did it. [01:47:26] I don't think Theo knew about it. [01:47:27] I think it was somebody made it and they were exploiting you guys. [01:47:33] Oh. [01:47:33] They put me on it too. [01:47:36] You're the star of the movie. [01:47:38] Who cares, Bobby? [01:47:39] Oh, you're right. [01:47:40] Dave, I'm sorry. [01:47:41] Are you eating Asian food? [01:47:42] I invite myself. [01:47:43] Oh, you should go. [01:47:43] I'm eating Asian food. [01:47:44] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:47:45] I knew it. [01:47:46] So, I love you, dude. [01:47:47] No one's to blame. [01:47:48] Thank you for putting me in the movie. [01:47:49] I love you, okay? [01:47:50] Yeah, and tell the waiter we're sorry for everything. [01:47:52] Okay. [01:47:54] Bye. [01:47:54] It was you. [01:47:59] It couldn't have been me because I don't even have Photoshop. [01:48:02] Okay. [01:48:03] It was something that he was eating Asian food? [01:48:05] But no, I do feel bad that I didn't ask. [01:48:07] I should have asked specifically. [01:48:08] I don't care, dude. [01:48:09] Dude, it's. [01:48:10] Well, I should have asked. [01:48:11] I don't really think about it. [01:48:12] I think you would feel like. [01:48:13] Bro, bro, bro. [01:48:18] I'm so grateful that you asked me to do something that you've been working on. [01:48:24] I mean, what a blessing that is. [01:48:26] You know, I just did an episode of a show of a friend. [01:48:31] I can't say it, but he asked, and I did it. [01:48:35] You know what I mean? [01:48:35] And, you know. [01:48:36] I knew who it was Peyton Manning. [01:48:38] Okay. [01:48:40] And. [01:48:41] Was it? [01:48:42] He has a new show. [01:48:43] You have a new show. [01:48:44] Yeah. [01:48:45] The Bad Show. [01:48:46] And you didn't even tell me about it. [01:48:47] Yeah. [01:48:47] The Bad Show. [01:48:48] Game Show. [01:48:49] And then also, my Hulu special comes out in November, my first special. [01:48:53] Finally. [01:48:53] Finally. [01:48:54] Yeah. [01:48:55] And go check that out. [01:48:56] But. [01:48:57] And what took so long, to be honest, when you really think about it? [01:48:59] Was there a real reason that it kind of did take you a while? [01:49:01] Did you not like doing specials? [01:49:03] Did you think it was not what it's about? [01:49:05] Like, really, really. [01:49:06] Well, it's so funny. [01:49:07] Ask yourself why I wouldn't do it. [01:49:11] Why wouldn't he do it? [01:49:12] Because he doesn't like to try it. [01:49:13] He doesn't. [01:49:13] Oh, no. [01:49:15] Yeah, because I've been doing the same act. [01:49:17] You know what I mean? [01:49:18] I slowly add jokes. [01:49:20] It was just no hurry, really. [01:49:22] You know what I mean? [01:49:23] And it got to the point where it was like, I was on stage and I was like, I couldn't hear it anymore. [01:49:30] Like, I don't care if it gets a laugh. [01:49:32] Like, I just got to evolve. [01:49:34] And so I penned a deal. [01:49:36] I go, I'm going to get all this out there. [01:49:38] It's going to force me to write new shit. [01:49:40] You penned a deal? [01:49:40] Are you fucking Thomas Jefferson? [01:49:42] Yeah, dude. [01:49:43] Yeah, yeah. [01:49:43] I penned a deal, dude. [01:49:44] Like the Constitution. [01:49:45] Facts, my bad. [01:49:45] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:49:46] And I did it and it went pretty good. [01:49:49] And I'm going to, when it comes out, I'm already writing way new shit. [01:49:54] Let's go. [01:49:54] And I'm going to, the next hour will be better. [01:49:59] I think I'm evolving. [01:50:00] I really do. [01:50:01] I feel you do. [01:50:02] Yeah. [01:50:02] And so that's why it took me so long. [01:50:05] It was never like, here's the thing about me. [01:50:08] I don't know why, but I was a club guy. [01:50:12] What I mean by that, I did comedy clubs. [01:50:14] And I always sold out. [01:50:16] Even before podcasts, I would do well. [01:50:19] So in my mind, that was like no hurry. [01:50:21] I never thought about theaters or coliseums or anything like that. [01:50:25] But I made a living playing, I mean, the Yuck Yucks or whatever, right? [01:50:29] Oh, yeah, there's so many great clubs. [01:50:30] Yeah, so whatever. [01:50:31] And now it's like it's getting bigger, the audience, and I want to grow with my brand and I want to expand. [01:50:40] So that's what I'm doing. [01:50:41] Yeah. [01:50:42] That's cool, man. [01:50:43] Yeah, man. [01:50:43] Yeah, dude, it's kind of crazy. [01:50:45] Like, evolving is kind of scary. [01:50:46] It's all kind of spooky sometimes. [01:50:47] Like, like, like growing up, you know? [01:50:51] Does it make sense, kind of? [01:50:52] You're going to live on the edge of your comfort zone. [01:50:55] Fuck you. [01:50:56] That's how you grow. [01:50:57] That's how great men make it. [01:50:59] Take risks and. [01:51:02] Go through the fire. [01:51:04] And I've always been afraid of that. [01:51:06] And I think, like we talked about earlier, silence, you know what I mean? [01:51:11] That's all okay. [01:51:16] That was almost great. [01:51:17] But you know what is great, dude? [01:51:20] Yeah. [01:51:21] Really good to be here. [01:51:22] Anytime I get to spend time with you, I feel lucky. [01:51:24] Yeah. [01:51:24] And your new show starts when? [01:51:25] When does it start so people can watch it? [01:51:28] The Bad Game Show will start in probably September, October. [01:51:31] It's super funny. [01:51:32] YouTube. [01:51:33] Let's go. [01:51:33] Yeah. [01:51:34] And there's the deadline. [01:51:36] All things comedy on the bad game show. [01:51:38] Dude, you guys look great. [01:51:39] Yeah, yeah. [01:51:40] Holy frick. [01:51:40] And we have guests on, and two guests compete against each other in games we developed. [01:51:46] Dude, put me on the poster. [01:51:49] You said no to the game show. [01:51:50] Did I really? [01:51:51] Yeah, you did. [01:51:51] But you know what? [01:51:52] What? [01:51:52] Put me on the poster anyway. [01:51:54] Yeah, I did. [01:51:54] And I'll share that bitch. [01:51:55] All right, dude. [01:51:56] All right. [01:51:57] Thanks for having me. [01:51:58] I love you, and thank you for being somebody that. [01:52:00] He just texted me again, Spade. [01:52:02] He FaceTimed me. [01:52:05] Let's see what he says because he might be on some bullshit. [01:52:09] Dude, he was in freaking Dickie Roberts. [01:52:11] I know, dude. [01:52:15] Dude, you seen this laser puts a little cock on your shirt. [01:52:17] Okay. [01:52:19] Oh, that's the tits. [01:52:21] Like, I'm just going to hang up. [01:52:23] No, wait one more time. [01:52:24] He's getting older. [01:52:27] Yeah, so did you FaceTime me? [01:52:31] I tried to. [01:52:32] Yeah, here's B. What's up, dude? [01:52:35] I was trying to save Theo and like get him out of that interview. [01:52:43] There was no controversy. [01:52:45] He texted me the fucking password and I was like, oh, that means save him. [01:52:50] Yeah, dude, I did. [01:52:54] Wait, wait, wait. [01:52:56] So thank you so much for that information. [01:52:58] I'll see you soon. [01:52:59] I love you. [01:53:00] I'm going to hang up the phone, okay? [01:53:02] All right. [01:53:02] I love you, bud. [01:53:04] No, no, no, I love you. [01:53:05] I love you, bud. [01:53:06] All right. [01:53:06] So. [01:53:09] You did. [01:53:10] Did I? [01:53:12] To be continued. [01:53:13] Now I'm just floating on the breeze, and I feel I'm falling like these leaves. [01:53:20] I must be cornerstone. [01:53:23] Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind I found. [01:53:30] I can feel it in my bones.