This Past Weekend - Theo Von - #638 - Kevin James

Feb. 9, 2026 - This Past Weekend - Theo Von

01:31:43

#638 - Kevin James

Kevin James is an actor and comedian known for his roles in King of Queens, Grown Ups, Hitch and more. His new movie “Solo Mio” is out now.  Kevin joins Theo to talk about cold cut superheroes, becoming friends with his favorite UFC fighters, and why it’s never too late to find love. Kevin James: https://www.instagram.com/kevinjamesofficial/ ------------------------------------------------ Tour Dates! https://theovon.com/tour New Merch: https://www.theovonstore.com ------------------------------------------------- Sponsored By: Pepsi: Go out and try Pepsi Zero Sugar today. Let your taste decide! https://www.pepsi.com/where-to-buy #PepsiPartner ------------------------------------------------- Music: “Shine” by Bishop Gunn Bishop Gunn - Shine ------------------------------------------------ Submit your funny videos, TikToks, questions and topics you'd like to hear on the podcast to: tpwproducer@gmail.com Hit the Hotline: 985-664-9503 Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: https://www.theovon.com/fan-upload Send mail to: This Past Weekend 1906 Glen Echo Rd PO Box #159359 Nashville, TN 37215 ------------------------------------------------ Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheoVonClips Shorts Channel: https://bit.ly/3ClUj8z ------------------------------------------------ Producer: Zach https://www.instagram.com/zachdpowers Producer: Trevyn https://www.instagram.com/trevyn.s/ Producer: Nick https://www.instagram.com/realnickdavis/ Producer: Andrew https://www.instagram.com/bleachmediaofficial/ Producer: Halston https://www.instagram.com/halstonrays/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
[Read More]

Large

Audio Only |

Scroll

Time	Text
Lock Wolves Kiss Us 00:04:04
	Today's guest is a comedian and an actor.
	You'll know him from everywhere, from Grown-Ups, King of Queens, Chuck and Larry, Paul Blart.
	His new movie is out that's right now in theaters.
	It's called Solo Mio.
	And it's great if you want to go check it out.
	But right now, let's get to know Mr. Kevin James.
	That's my coffee cup right there.
	Condios Toros es posible.
	Posible.
	It is, yeah.
	What is the middle word?
	Todo es.
	Everything is.
	Everything is?
	That's cool.
	With God, everything is possible.
	What does yours say?
	Mine's pretty.
	I just have no answers.
	That's what it comes down to.
	Oh, yours is one of those mad lib mugs, huh?
	Each day in something different.
	That's not Italian, but almost sounds a little bit Italian like your movie.
	It does.
	It is very close.
	Dio.
	Deal?
	Like Rodney James Dio, like Lock Up the Wolves?
	Yes, yes.
	But much different.
	Yeah.
	Lock up the wolves.
	Do you ever listen to that?
	I remember him.
	I mean, he was crazy, right?
	Yeah, I'm sure he's yelling, lock up the wolves.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	That's true.
	That's true.
	You can't not be crazy and yell lock up the wolves.
	God, that album.
	My brother used to beat me to his music.
	It makes sense.
	You remember your first concert ever?
	No.
	Yeah, it was Kiss.
	Oh.
	I said Kiss in right after, I think, maybe after Kiss Alive.
	It was like, it was after that or destroy one of them early, early albums.
	And I went with my buddy.
	I remember my buddy broke his arm and he wasn't going to be able to go, but we convinced him to go.
	He was in a cast.
	So I was there with my mother and his mother.
	And he was just rocking his cast the whole night to Kiss.
	It was fun.
	God, that's good.
	It was a good one.
	There was nothing like that time when you were going to a freaking concert.
	Oh, yeah.
	When you were just a kid.
	And so like you got like, if the air hit you and it was dope in it, it just hit you.
	Everything was weird.
	Everything was crazy.
	What was your first concert?
	I went to, oh, Marilyn Manson.
	And it was, yeah.
	They had a guy in our town and he took us over there, me and the other young kid.
	Dropped us off.
	You were there just with his.
	With me, my buddy.
	This guy dropped us off.
	This religious guy or whatever.
	He dropped you off?
	Religious?
	Yeah.
	He had a car.
	Religion.
	He had a car.
	I don't know.
	Last Baptist, I think.
	I have no idea what he was.
	I don't want to know, man.
	He's dropping you off of Maryland Manson.
	Nothing decent.
	Oh, dude.
	Did he take off fast?
	Like, was he like, you go?
	Yeah, he drove in a convertible.
	Oh, wow.
	Yeah, he dropped us off.
	He said he could get us tickets there.
	And we'd heard a couple of their songs and were into them.
	And we were underage when we got in.
	But it was like being in a concert when you were a kid and everything was going on.
	If you were young, it was kind of wild because you were kind of free in this place that was caged.
	There was music.
	You know, sometimes it was like pod in the air.
	You know, there was just like a lot, you know, people were like, brought a new stimulus.
	Yes.
	Right?
	A lot of weird stuff that you, you know, you're a little bit scared, right?
	Yeah, you're a little bit scared, but you're excited.
	Yes.
	And then if you get, you know, somebody passes you something or your buddy brought something or whatever, then you getting lifted.
	And now, dude, one time we ate something.
	I don't know what we had or something, you know, we caught a whiff of something and we might have brought it with us and lit it up.
	But whatever it was, it got into us.
	Not me.
	And dude, I couldn't like, I couldn't see anymore, right?
	And I was like, oh, shit.
	But I still had to pee.
Prime Rib Mystery 00:03:34
	Okay.
	That's one thing I noticed.
	If you can't see, you still have to.
	Yeah, one doesn't stop the other.
	Yeah.
	I don't know.
	I never got lifted, but if I couldn't see and I had to pee, how did you do it?
	Did you just kind of walk out with a friend?
	I remember the direction.
	I remember where you were.
	I remember the direction of the back of the venue and I put my hands like this, right?
	Oh, wow.
	And I was going back and I remembered feeling like a badge and I was feeling a cop.
	I'm sure he liked that.
	Oh, dude, I'm so glad he didn't like, you know, he recognized it.
	I wasn't doing it.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	He saw you were in a bad way and he helped you.
	And I went into the bathroom.
	I thought I was a raccoon.
	Whatever, dude.
	Yeah.
	That was a long night.
	Anyway, Kevin James, good to see you, man.
	Good to see you.
	Yeah.
	Nice to be here.
	Thank you very much.
	Thanks for coming, man.
	I appreciate it.
	Did you guys go?
	We saw each other last night at your, you showed me and Nate Bargatzi and some other friends here in Nashville your movie.
	Yeah.
	We just went, we went out to dinner at Tuesday.
	Yeah, we just hung out and had a good night.
	Where'd y'all go?
	Oh, gosh, what was the name of that place?
	It was Gannon's or Gannon?
	Gannon's in Nashville.
	Is it on a lake?
	I don't think it was on a lake.
	I mean, we didn't take a boat to get there, right?
	We didn't.
	It was, it was, you know, it was.
	Sounds nice.
	Yeah, it was cool.
	It was.
	It was a cool place.
	Yeah, it was nice.
	They gave us a little room and we just had fun.
	It was prime rib.
	It was everything, man.
	It was good.
	Did it have that white sauce with it?
	It did.
	It did.
	What is that?
	It's like a tartar.
	Yeah.
	But it's not.
	It's got a W. What is it?
	Or a horseradish.
	Horseradish.
	Not a W. Where's the W coming from?
	But it's white.
	That's where it comes from.
	The W is white.
	And it's horseradish.
	And they give you the chunks of horseradish, which is like, that's like the nucleus of it.
	That's the burning.
	I've never seen that.
	You've never, what are you talking about?
	Now, bring up, bring up a natural horseradish and its natural habitat.
	Yes, yeah.
	And then, and then they have a white like horseradish sauce that kind of blends it.
	See, that's the stuff.
	Yeah, God, that's good.
	Yeah.
	And it, and you spread that over your prime rib.
	I love that.
	That thing, I just, I never know what it is, but they have it and I love it.
	What's that?
	That right there.
	Oh, they eat horseradish.
	Yeah.
	I know.
	So you've had it.
	Oh, yeah, but I just forgot.
	I just what it is.
	But I know you only see it with shrimp cocktail.
	No, you see it with shrimp cocktail, too.
	Oh, that's the same.
	Yes.
	It comes out the same way.
	They give you the chunks of the thing.
	Do you do shrimp cocktail?
	Yeah, I do shrimp cocktails all the time where the shrimps are hanging out, showing their legs or whatever off the edge of the thing.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, you split them, you pop them, and you dip them in the thing.
	Dude, I had no idea that was the same thing.
	That's the wasabi version of whatever it is for this stuff.
	It's like wasabi.
	It's like a spicy hit that you do.
	It's really to get you to forget the fact that you're eating fish.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, I guess because some of it doesn't taste great or whatever.
	Yes.
	Horseradish is a perennial plant of the family Brassis.
	Brassicais.
	It's not a vegetable.
	It is.
	Oh, it is a root vegetable cultivated and used worldwide as a spice and as a condiment.
	Yeah, dude.
	I like that, man.
	I like it when I just really, but I only see it when prime rib.
	And I guess it always, to me, that always looked more like a milkier sauce.
	Yeah.
	Something different.
	Well, there's both.
	There's that.
	That's the, there's like little chunks.
	When you see that, and then they give you like, it's like a mayonnaise, like a cool whip, like a mayonnaise style that blends with that.
	You put them both together.
	Oh, I haven't done that.
	And it gives you, yeah, it's a good cover.
	I'm missing.
	Maybe I'm not looking around when I see that.
Salamio Thought Dot 00:15:34
	Yeah.
	But I love that.
	And you get to talk to the person and they cut it.
	Yes.
	It's a lot of fun.
	Yeah.
	You know?
	Oh, yeah.
	It's a lot of fun.
	It was a good night, man.
	We have fun.
	We missed you.
	And thanks for coming.
	Yeah, dude.
	It was great to come over there and see the film and just see the had you seen it a bunch already?
	Yeah.
	I've seen it a few times.
	Yeah.
	I mean, I. Did you help edit it?
	Oh, gosh.
	Yeah.
	I did everything.
	You know, helping them all on every step of the way.
	We've been, you know, babying this thing for a while now.
	So it's, it's, it's, I'll keep seeing it.
	I'm going to see it again.
	And, you know, you know, it's basically just your baby.
	You know, you, you work it and you just kind of try to bring it to everybody and you want it to be right.
	And I don't want to, you know, I want everybody like you.
	I want people to see it to, you know, to see what they think, what they can change it.
	Oh, yeah.
	But now we're.
	Oh, we felt the magic of it yesterday, man.
	It felt good.
	It was a love.
	It's a, I don't want to give anything away.
	I mean, it's a love story.
	Yeah.
	It's got some sweet moments that were surprises, I thought.
	Good.
	You know, it definitely made me think like, dang, I got to get, you got to get into love, man.
	That's what it makes you feel hopeful that people are getting into love out there in Italy and in Italy.
	Yes.
	That it's honestly that it's never too late.
	That it's like it really, I mean, I really, I found my wife later in life too.
	And it was, it's one of those things where it's like, it's, it's possible for all, you know, like people, when they get older, they, they start gripping the bat too tight, getting worried that I'm not with anybody.
	And so they don't know whether to make that decision jump or what it, or I'm just going to be alone.
	And I think when you loosen up and kind of relax and just give yourself up to, you know, giving a shot, you do better.
	And, you know, you did you feel that ever?
	Oh, yeah.
	I was definitely, you know, I got married at like 39, 39, I think.
	Yeah.
	And I had my first kid at 40.
	But do you still have your wife?
	Yeah.
	I met her last night.
	Yeah.
	She was there.
	Oh, yeah.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Good.
	I kept her.
	I hope that was her.
	Otherwise, she wouldn't be happy here tomorrow.
	No, That's her.
	And it's 21 and change now.
	21 years.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	It's great.
	Four kids.
	It's fun.
	And is your wife from another country or parents?
	Spicy?
	Well, she's Filipino and a little bit Alaskan Indian.
	Dude, I love Filipinos.
	Yeah.
	You do?
	Dude, are you kidding me?
	How could you not?
	Right?
	Dude, they're the smiling people.
	Yes.
	Very happy people.
	Oh.
	Very fun people.
	And they make lumpia.
	And they make what?
	Lumpia.
	Oh, I've never even heard of it.
	Can you look up lumpia?
	Lumpia is just.
	What is it, like a dip or something?
	It's like an egg roll from heaven.
	And you put it in the dip.
	Oh.
	And it's nothing like the horseradish one.
	It's a beautiful, sweetie.
	It could be a little spicy if you want, but it's a fun one.
	It's a good.
	It's a good.
	It wowed me.
	Yeah.
	I would mule one of those in my ass.
	I think, bro, those things look good, brother.
	I'll tell you that.
	But you brought one of those into prison.
	You could sell it for a lot.
	I don't know what was going in.
	A lot went out, my ass.
	Yeah.
	Oh, dude.
	Sorry.
	God, no, those look that good.
	Yeah, they're good.
	They're very good.
	There's not a lot of food you put in.
	You know what I'm saying?
	Because that's a total reverse route.
	That's like when you see somebody's driving up the interstate the wrong way, you're like, what are they doing here?
	How'd you get on this road?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	It's real good.
	God, that's nice.
	Yeah.
	See, I think if somebody tricked me enough with a, you know, with some sort of fancy little oriental baklava like that, they would.
	Are you really?
	Oh, really?
	That they could get me to love them more.
	Right.
	You know what I'm saying?
	If somebody had a recipe of something that you just loved, I would give in more.
	But yeah, Filipinos, dude.
	Ah, I wish we were all Filipino.
	Yeah.
	Sure.
	Because I think it would be great.
	It would be great.
	Name 60 bad Filipinos.
	I can't name one.
	I don't know any.
	Yeah.
	I really don't.
	I don't know why.
	I can't name one.
	So are your kids a little bit Filipino too?
	They have to be, I hope.
	That's so good.
	Yeah, it is fun.
	Oh, I can't even imagine.
	You should see them.
	You like them.
	Oh, yeah.
	I'd love to see them sometime.
	But the eight, yeah, I would love to have a semi-Asian or off-Asian.
	I don't know exactly what the terms are, Filipino, but I would love to have a child like that.
	It's a cute mix.
	It's a fun, you know, and they're good.
	They seem like such good people.
	Yeah.
	That's beautiful, dude.
	I know that you grew up over in New York.
	Oh, dude, I forgot to even tell you this.
	I saw the movie when I first saw your movie, Solomio, it's called.
	Yes.
	I thought it was Salamio.
	I thought it was a Marvel character you were doing.
	By the way, I could do that one next.
	Yeah, that is not.
	Salamio is a that's what I thought.
	I was like, dude, what is he doing?
	I'm not doing Salamio.
	How did you guys not think of Salamio?
	I just thought it was like, oh, this is his like superhero type of guy.
	But did you think it was like just one word and it was an Italian word?
	Or did you think it was the meat?
	Oh, I thought it was like the like the like the master, like the like, like like Salamio.
	Yeah, like Salamio shows up and rescues like the like the Italian parade or something.
	Something happened at the Italian parade.
	But is the Italian meat involved?
	No, this is his name.
	Okay.
	Does he have a cape?
	Yeah, he may have a cape.
	Yes.
	He has a cape, like maybe a fine procheta or whatever.
	Yeah.
	Salamio is insane.
	Yeah.
	So anyway, I thought that, but I had my glasses on when I saw it.
	So Salamio, that's crazy.
	I was like, but it's awesome.
	And it was like, I could see it being super exciting.
	You know, I'm regretting every choice we made now that we did not go with Salamio.
	It really is hitting me.
	Salamio is, I don't know.
	I hope you.
	From the land of Mortadel.
	Yes.
	Yes.
	Your backstory could have been sick.
	But when I got there and I saw the image and it was like, oh, Salomeo.
	Yes.
	And it was good.
	Yeah.
	It's cool, man.
	Yeah.
	And it just made me, it did make me think about love.
	It made me think about that kind of stuff.
	And like, yeah, just the choices that we make.
	I think I've watched a couple of movies recently that kind of like got me in like so you're single now.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	And you're you're looking or you are you're just like, I'm yeah, I'm looking.
	You know, I got to get married at some point.
	Right.
	You know, you want kids?
	Yeah, I think I want to have some children.
	I love it.
	Yeah.
	Did you always want to have them, you think?
	I did.
	You did.
	Yeah.
	I did.
	I always wanted kids.
	And I'm, again, I was getting worried.
	I was, you know, 39.
	It was later for me.
	And then four, but it's, you have so much time.
	You get to have, you know, it's, you're great.
	You can go as long as you can and then you adopt or do whatever.
	It's, it's amazing.
	Yeah.
	Some of the adoption, there's a lot of returns over there.
	You know what I'm saying?
	I'm not, no judgment.
	And some of those are Russian, but people know it.
	It's on a chart.
	But yeah, dude, I do think I know I would like to, you know, I think it's just to make a strike and get into that place of myself and knowing, okay, I can do this, you know, and I have to really like fine-tune my behaviors and what I need to be doing and how I kind of put myself and take care of myself and everything.
	It's like, because this is going to be a thing.
	Right.
	You want to stay in it, right?
	So you want to, are you putting yourself out there, though, to in the right places to see these people, to meet these people?
	Because now you're, I mean, it's something because you're so famous now, it's like it's a different takeout.
	You got to be careful, right?
	So I guess.
	I mean, I still probably date the same types of gals as when I wasn't popular, you know, I think.
	So that, I don't know if that changes, but I wouldn't date somebody.
	I think I would know if somebody was like, you know, right.
	I hope so.
	You definitely would.
	After me for my podcast outtakes or whatever.
	But yeah, I thought it was a great movie.
	It was really sweet.
	It had some good surprises.
	So yeah, I'm glad that I left feeling glad that I went out and saw it.
	That's good.
	And it made me think about some things.
	That's when I noticed something's nice for me is if I leave and it makes me like, you know, kind of think about myself in certain situations or something.
	Yeah.
	And hopefully uplift uplifting.
	You know what I'm saying?
	If it feels, you know, that you can that there's possibility out there, you know?
	Oh, dude.
	And the singing, the part when you guys were singing, dude, I thought it was going to turn into one of those like at the crescendo.
	Yeah.
	I thought at the crescendo it was going to be like there was going to be one of those four 4K theaters or whatever, like the 4D or whatever.
	Yeah.
	And it was just going to like a huge thing of like pasta sauce.
	He's going to fucking hit us all in the back of the head.
	That's what I thought, dude.
	If that would happen, bro.
	Dude, that and Salamio?
	What's his name?
	Salamio.
	Okay, so it's salamio.
	That's what I thought.
	Oh, dude.
	That's a guy.
	How do we not do salamio?
	Bro, I'll tell you this.
	I want the leg muscles.
	Oh, you got those.
	No, I don't, man.
	I'm losing them.
	When you get older, you start losing the leg muscles.
	Abs, I got, obviously, you know, I have the abs and the biceps and all that stuff, but the leg muscles.
	That's a lot of leg.
	It is.
	Spotty fat.
	He's got a lot of clogged arteries.
	I like it, though, man.
	I'm in with this guy.
	I think he's just, he's just, his only thing he does is just go to the doctor to get his levels.
	Just paddles of blood.
	Dude, those aren't even your muscles.
	That's just a chunk of gout.
	Yes, that's all gout and cholesterol.
	But no, dude, it was cool.
	So thank you so much for inviting me, man.
	It's enjoyable.
	It's a nice, you could take your lady.
	You know, you could take your lady, go with your family.
	You go with almost anybody, really.
	Right.
	It was sweet.
	Good.
	It was sweet and good, man.
	Did you grew up in Mineola?
	No, I was born in Mineola.
	I grew up out.
	Yeah, I bounced around Long Island for a little bit in New Hyde Park.
	But you don't know this stuff.
	We just had a fireman on.
	This is how I know this.
	We just had a fireman on, and he mentioned that you were from that area because I said, well, Kevin James might be coming on.
	He's like, oh, he's from New Hyde Park.
	And we had this guy, Tony Bonfiglio.
	He was, there he is right there.
	He was a firefighter during 9-11.
	He did 22 years on Ladder 34, which was Washington Heights.
	And he just had the best stories about growing up in New Hyde Park and where he went to interview to be the fireman and him and his buddies just screwing around in the area and just going to like different music clubs and listening to cover bands and stuff.
	Oh, I love it.
	What a cool dude.
	It was great.
	Yeah, that's a lot of good people from there, really.
	Yeah, it's really cool experience.
	It feels like that.
	It is.
	It was fun growing up, man, which for me helped and stand-up and helped everything.
	Just had a good, fun childhood.
	It was really, really cool.
	Funny people.
	Was your brother funny or something?
	You had a sister or something?
	My brother was funny first.
	Yeah, we're all funny.
	It's all the dinner table stuff and putting on little shows when the relatives come over, that type of stuff.
	And then eventually I was playing football in college and I realized the dream.
	When you're not starting in Division III, were you at Oneana?
	No, I was at Cortland and I never finished.
	I was drinking a lot.
	We were partying up there.
	It was crazy.
	It was by that's up there in Syracuse and all that stuff.
	Courtland is Ithaca.
	It's in Ithaca, isn't it?
	No, it's near Ithaca.
	Oh, baby.
	Oh, yeah, there I am.
	That was me playing football.
	And, yeah.
	I think that that's high school.
	But yes, that was what I played.
	And then once I realized there was a guy so much better than me, I go, I'm not going to do this anymore.
	What do I do?
	Did you have a nickname on the team or not?
	I think it was the hydrant.
	I don't think it was because of what you think.
	I think it was just a different reason.
	I'm not sure the reason why I'm different, huh?
	Yeah, because I was low.
	I was low to the ground and I wet myself a lot.
	Yeah.
	So, I mean, it was just, it was just a weird thing.
	But, no, I mean, once I realized that wasn't going on anyway, I never finished Cortland, too.
	I got out of college.
	Did they give you an honorary thing like that in the mail?
	Give it to me now, but I don't want to go back now.
	I don't want to.
	Oh, get your degree, man.
	Really?
	Should I go back?
	I mean, I wouldn't say, I'm not going to tell you not to get your education.
	Yeah, maybe I should, right?
	No, I shouldn't.
	For what?
	What am I going to use it for?
	I don't know.
	I got urban planning.
	That's mine.
	Did you go to school?
	Did you finish college?
	Yeah, I finished college.
	We had maybe almost 11 years.
	Where'd you go?
	I went offline.
	11 years for college?
	I went offline also.
	Oh, you did?
	Yeah.
	I went to a lot of schools.
	I went to Arizona.
	What else did I go?
	I went to Santa Monica College.
	I went to the University of New York.
	Why did you not finish at one?
	LSU College Charleston.
	I don't know why.
	Oh, I started doing comedy.
	So, and I would hit the road and I'd be like, and then I'd have to pick back up and do a semester.
	And like, it was just piecemeal.
	Did you get into like through improv or just right into stand-ups?
	Just got into stand-up.
	I was just like, you know, I think I the first Mark Gross, I think, was the first comedian maybe I ever saw.
	Bring him up.
	Bring up a picture.
	What year did you start?
	I started in 2005.
	Oh, my goodness.
	That is so crazy.
	I saw this guy perform and I'd seen like Chris Rock is my favorite comedian growing up.
	I'd seen like, you know, I'd seen comedy, but I'd never seen it live.
	Right.
	And we went to college where it was like at LSU, they'd call you and be like, you got 30 free tickets tonight.
	What?
	Because there's paper in the room, but you'd be so excited.
	Yeah, you just get a gift.
	Yes.
	So you go.
	And I went and I saw him and I was like.
	And it changed you.
	Yes.
	I was like, oh, this can really be like a thing that you wanted to do right away.
	Or you thought, I don't think I knew I wanted to do it, but I just, I liked being funny.
	And then I was like, oh, this can like there's a, this is a real path.
	I just never connected the dots.
	I need like dot to dot to dot.
	I need dots between the dots to connect them, you know?
	And, and yeah, so that made me like start to, I think, have the bug.
	And then I got to LA and then, and then I started just going up, you know?
	Dude, I was in Vegas when I saw you and heard about you.
	You know how I heard about you or saw you?
	Your face was the whole side of the hotel.
	Oh, that is.
	Did you see that?
	That was badass.
	I was like, who is this?
	I was like, my goodness.
	I know.
	Yeah, dude.
	And that was awesome.
	That's really cool, man.
	That was cool.
	That's crazy.
	That's it.
	Just to think that you saw that.
	That's cool.
	I was like, whoa, I don't get that.
	I never got.
	That was big, man.
	No, no, no, no.
	I'm serious.
	That was cool.
	Oh, that's, yeah.
	Yeah, some of that stuff is pretty cool.
	It's like impossible to live up to that kind of hype.
	That is, but it's still, man, that's cool.
	You know?
	Yeah, stuff like that's kind of interesting sometimes, I guess.
	Yeah, there it is.
	See, it is.
	Look at that, man.
	That's exactly what I saw.
	And I was like, whoa, this guy looks like Salomeo.
	Yeah.
	Look at that look, right?
	That's a hero.
	A hero.
	I'm looking for the shooter from that shooting they had a few years ago.
	That's right.
	That was rough.
	Yeah, that was a surprise.
	Anyway, I fucking really ruined that compliment you were giving me, but thank you.
	That is true.
	It's true.
	I remember seeing that being there, Vegas, and I was like, well, you know, it's an instant bit of like, who's this guy?
	Like a little bit of fear.
	I'm always like, oh, my gosh, this new guy.
	You know, I'm trying to fill this room.
	I hope I do well tonight.
	And this guy's got the side of a building.
	I'm like, good for him.
	Because we needed that much advertisement.
	That's what it was.
Why Choose Cheap Furniture? 00:03:02
	True.
	We started small.
	We started on thimbles.
	We're just handing them out on guitar picks.
	Yeah, yeah, that's a great idea.
	This episode is brought to you by Pepsi, and we've actually got their Super Bowl commercial that premiered last night.
	Let's take a look at it right here.
	Oh, blind taste test.
	My whole life's a blind taste test.
	This bear's in therapy or bear up, I think they call it.
	I don't even know.
	Whatever this is about, I'm in.
	Cheap furniture.
	Tell me about your mother.
	Oh, yeah.
	Mother longing.
	Is this me?
	Staring at women through windows.
	Oh, that's sweet.
	That's nice.
	Let's go, Bear.
	With your lady at a concert.
	Oh, that's a pretty cold play right there.
	Me and this bear are really similar.
	Drinking games, therapy, cheap furniture, and longing for a woman through a pane of glass, peeping toming, we call it.
	But I guess in the animal kingdom, it's more of like an acceptable pastime.
	All right, moving on.
	But actually, kind of staying right here.
	Some of my friends bug me that I choose Pepsi over Coke, but there's actually been blind taste tests that prove that Pepsi-Zero Sugar tastes better than Coca-Cola Zero Sugar.
	There's even a name for it.
	It's called the Pepsi paradox.
	It's the idea that once bias and labels disappear, cola drinkers prefer the taste of Pepsi-Zero Sugar.
	Yep.
	Pepsi first showed this 50 years ago with their iconic Pepsi challenge when they had people try Coke and Pepsi without the labels and the results were clear.
	When you take labels out of the equation and you just focus on taste, people choose Pepsi.
	I mean, that's what the Super Bowl commercial was showing.
	There's a blindfolded, cola-loving polar bear, and he chooses Pepsi Zero Sugar.
	Dude, my freaking blind cousin chooses Pepsi.
	He just emailed me.
	How can he email?
	Maybe he could Pep C for a second.
	Hey, quiet down.
	Bad joke.
	It's the question that Pepsi's putting out there.
	Is your cola choice actually about taste?
	Because they redid the Pepsi challenge in 2025.
	And guess what?
	66% of people chose Pepsi Zero Sugar over Coca-Cola Zero Sugar.
	And it just makes you think, if nobody told you what you were supposed to like, what would you actually choose?
	The public has spoken.
	And Pepsi Zero Sugar tastes better than Coca-Cola Zero Sugar.
	If you're curious, go try Pepsi Zero Sugar.
	Let your taste decide.
Why We Choose Sushi 00:15:20
	When your comedy first started, was it just something you wanted to do?
	Do you know it kind of?
	I know it's such an old question, but you and I don't really know each other.
	I didn't know what I wanted to do.
	I knew when I got out of college, I left college.
	I didn't finish.
	I went home for the summer and my brother started doing improv.
	And I was like, I was bouncing at the time and I didn't know what I wanted to do, but I didn't want to do this.
	I just wanted to try something.
	And I always follow him into other things.
	So he'd be like, you're coming into, you know, whatever it is, you know.
	So I ended up doing a small community theater play.
	And I said, you know, then I started doing an improv group with him and their buddies.
	And I fell in love with it.
	And then it just progressed into stand-up.
	Now, I did my first stand-up.
	First night was in 1989, July 26th, 1989.
	That's how long I've been doing it.
	Yeah, boy.
	And no, I loved it.
	I mean, and I crushed the first night I ever did it, which I'm thankful for.
	Because the second night, I ate it so bad with the same material.
	And I didn't know, you know, and if I would have ate it first, I think I never would have done it again.
	But so I'm thankful that I did okay.
	And then, no, I love it, man.
	I love it.
	And then, you know, just was your brother weird about it that you came in and liked his thing?
	No, you know what?
	I got to say, he was really cool about it.
	He actually, he would tell me, you want to do this?
	Okay, if you want to do this, come and do it.
	And I would start to doing it.
	You know, back then we would buy these calendars completely empty.
	And I was working at Granger and it was like my last day job.
	I was like, I wanted to.
	Range of the equipment?
	Yes.
	That's all I did.
	I was in the back.
	It was hot as can be.
	And I had to fill orders.
	And I hated everything about it because it was miserable.
	I was just trying to work my way up to the air conditioning.
	Yeah, there's hella mice in there, too.
	There's everything in there.
	So I'm just driving a forklift and I'm working hard and I'm trying to fill my calendar with these stand-up dates.
	And it would just be like once a week or whatever it is.
	And then my brother called me one night and he goes, What are you doing tonight?
	And I go, I'm staying home.
	He's like, what?
	Because you have to sign up for open mic nights.
	Yeah, you got to sign up sometimes in advance or that sort of thing.
	You got to get there early.
	I go, he's like, why aren't you out of the club tonight?
	And I go, I didn't get a spot.
	He's like, that doesn't matter.
	So, so what?
	Why aren't you going out there making something happen?
	Go look.
	And, you know, somebody falls out or you meet somebody or talk to somebody.
	And I'm like, all right.
	And I, and I went that night and I met somebody and I became like my first agent.
	So he was right, man.
	He helped me a lot in that.
	And he was cool with helping me out.
	And he was the funny one, you said?
	Yes, he was.
	I mean, we're all funny.
	The whole family was funny.
	He was the first one that started to get going that direction.
	Because it's interesting how that happens.
	And I was like, yeah, like my brother was a funny guy.
	And so I think that's why, you know, I think why I wouldn't have to be like that.
	Yeah.
	You're just trying to like.
	Did your brother do stand-up?
	No, he was just like probably just desperate for attention like me, but he was also a, you know, he was a funny guy.
	Right.
	There are a lot of funny guys I knew in school that were like a stand-up.
	Oh, dude.
	Right.
	That would be, I'm like, the best.
	Glad you didn't either.
	That'd be the best.
	And I'm so glad you didn't do it.
	Oh, dude, my friend Scott was like the funniest kid to me.
	And I'm like, I am, some of the people are like, Dio, you're funny.
	I'm like, dude, there's so many people who just never really just went and did it.
	Yeah.
	Because I mean, honestly, being funny with your and making that leap to doing it in front of people and developing, it is a different thing, though.
	It's like you've got to create it and kind of get used to, it's a different animal, right?
	When you're because I know my buddies are so funny.
	I got a buddy who's so funny, but when he doesn't, I go do that impression in front of someone else.
	He can't do it.
	He folds like a house, man.
	Oh, yeah.
	He's just, it's rough.
	It's rough.
	And I look bad.
	Oh, dude.
	The worst is when, oh, sometimes you do look bad because of other people.
	I remember this.
	I dated this girl.
	She didn't know how to stand out of the way of where people were walking.
	Oh.
	See, that would drive me, that would drive me nuts.
	Bro, I would have to go hide in the bathroom.
	No, that's, that's brutal.
	That's.
	We'd be talking.
	She would like take a step back.
	I'm like, this is where all the people are walking.
	And it was like, and people bump anywhere.
	And then guys would like, you know, and then it just like, oh, I dated a girl who would take five seconds before she would realize that a waiter is there asking her for a shirt.
	Like some, and every time, and I'd have to go, it's right.
	He's looking for you, you know, and she'd just be like this in a days, every time, five seconds, and then she'd come out of it.
	And I'm like, I can't go on.
	I can't go on.
	I couldn't be married to that.
	So I was like, there's no use in me being here.
	It's the little things.
	Dude, I dated a girl that I was in love with.
	And then we currently were kind of like canoodling or snuggling or whatever they used to call it.
	I think they don't, I don't know why they don't call it that, but we're canoodling, I guess now it's called.
	And then, but her head was really small.
	She had big hair and her head was so small.
	Yeah.
	And I was like, I, I, did you like that, though?
	Or you just was like, it was like a, it was a point where you go, I want to help her and be with her or, you know, or is it like that small or like no, like like a like, like how small though?
	Like it was like a ballpoint pen?
	Or are we talking like you know when that day when you only knew about baseball and then one day you're at PE and they show you softball?
	Yes.
	Okay.
	And you get that ball and you're like, what the, what is this?
	You know, and you're like, oh, this like a baseball with like intestinal issues or whatever.
	Right.
	Like it's, it's, it's, yeah, it's a, it's a, it's a baseball with inflammation.
	Yes, yes.
	It's a baseball that has, yeah, that has not had proper dieting.
	My heart melts for people, the physical things more, but I dated a girl once who would just say the phrase, rattle your cage every time.
	She's like, hey, and I'm like, what are you doing?
	And she's like, I'm just calling to rattle your cage.
	And I'm like, I can't go on.
	That's a buddy of mine's joke.
	He did so.
	Oh, it is?
	It happened to a buddy of mine, but that is a thing that I would literally get out of.
	Yeah.
	Wouldn't that be something like that?
	She goes, hey, just calling a rattle your cage.
	I would rattle my phone against the wall.
	I would rattle my freaking head off a balance.
	I love it.
	Dude, yes.
	I would also, I dated a girl.
	We would be sleeping.
	She'd get up in the middle of the night, put a bunch of MMs and chocolate in her mouth and come right back in a fucking bed.
	She says, like, sometimes I can't fall back asleep unless there's chocolate in my mouth.
	And I was like, that's crazy.
	Yeah, there's a lot of problems with that.
	But it was, that was crazy, dude.
	I had had a girl who made me roll her up in a blanket so she could go to bed at night.
	Turtle style?
	Yeah.
	Or like the lumpia.
	Yeah.
	No way.
	Like the lumpia.
	Yeah.
	I had a girl just, I didn't even realize that till just now.
	Did you have to unroll her in the morning or you just left it?
	No.
	You just leave her?
	Dude, I didn't even know her that well.
	You can't get out.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Well, she's get out of your own room.
	She doesn't have claustrophobic issues, though.
	You know that.
	So if you're ever stuck in an elevator with her, she's the one you want to be with.
	She's dynamite.
	Yeah, you're right.
	I need to look at the other side of the coin.
	Yes.
	But definitely.
	There's always a bright side.
	Yeah.
	I sometimes get stuck on the other side.
	And I'm like, I know it's brighter over there, but let me mill around over here.
	Yeah.
	In the shadows.
	Well, look at both.
	I mean, little head, you know, burrito girl.
	All these things can be there.
	There is a positive side to it, right?
	Yeah.
	Oh, yeah, yeah.
	Yeah, dude.
	I mean, her, I just, yeah, that was a lot for me.
	But then also, I'm like, oh, I don't know.
	But there's a lot of things that I think have probably kept me kind of single over the years.
	You know?
	Yeah.
	Did you ever, did you ever try one of those matchmaking services or no?
	Because I get approached by those all the time now.
	I was before them, I think.
	I don't know.
	Maybe they existed, but I mean, I was before the, I think, the internet and all that crap.
	You know, I got married in 2000, what is it?
	Three or four?
	Is it what was going on?
	2004, I got married.
	Was that what was a, what was around then?
	I don't even know if anything was around, but I never used them anyway.
	Yeah.
	How would you meet people just loitering or whatever?
	Yeah.
	It was, you know, we tried.
	I mean, I met my wife on a blind date.
	Someone set me up because Leah Remini, who was on my show with me, the King of the Earth.
	King of Queens, yeah.
	She saw that I had nobody and she set me up with no, so it was one of her good friends.
	No, it wasn't her.
	She, she set me up.
	She didn't set me up with a girl.
	She did over the years.
	She tried to, but she set me up with a house decorator because she came to my, when we had the King of Queens, I got my first place and she saw how it was decorated and it was terrible.
	I had like prong lamps and posters.
	Like I was living with my brother and it was like, she's like, you can't do this.
	You can't decorate a forward.
	So she got a decorator for me, which I never knew about or anything like that.
	It wasn't me.
	And this decorator came into my life.
	She was a horrible decorator, but she set me up.
	She really was.
	She wasn't great either.
	I didn't like it.
	But she saw that I was lonely and like I had nobody.
	And she set me up with somebody she knew.
	And it was like, it was amazing.
	Did it change like that for you when you kind of realized like this is something?
	Because it's funny how people go from a moment.
	I have a friend.
	She's a comedian.
	She was like, I don't know what's going to happen.
	You know, I'm going to sell my eggs or I'm going to bury them over here or whatever, you know?
	And then out of the blue, one day I call her.
	She's like, yep, I'm moving to Florida.
	We're getting married.
	And just like.
	It can turn on a dime.
	That's the thing.
	It can.
	That's the thing you got to remember.
	And by the way, I think most of the time it does when you're not trying, right?
	I mean, the thing you're not trying to do is.
	What do they say?
	Right.
	I don't know.
	I think for me, it did.
	I was just kind of lost.
	She was like, and I was like, ah, I'll give it a shot, never thinking anything would come of it.
	And then I never left her.
	That was it.
	Did you, were you kind of a romantic guy?
	Are you kind of like that guy?
	No, I don't think so.
	I had to fake, like, she, she wanted to go out and we went to a sushi restaurant the first night.
	And I didn't, I never eat sushi.
	So she's like, do you eat sushi?
	I go, yeah.
	I lied right out of the gate.
	Oh, yeah.
	Just for because, you know, I wanted to make things smooth.
	And we got there and it was, it was just a rough, it was everything you don't want to eat at a sushi restaurant made an appearance.
	You know, it was, it was rough.
	And I had to fake it and get through it, but I was drinking a lot of beer to get through it and kind of taking, I was taking it like a pill, you know, like I would take the sushi like a pill.
	Yes.
	And I got through that night.
	You're holding it.
	I was lying about everything.
	She's like, do you jog in the morning?
	I go, I jog every morning.
	I never jogged.
	We started jogging.
	I was like, what the?
	I got to keep it up.
	And finally, we were close enough where I go, I got to tell you some things here.
	I don't do a lot of the stuff we've been doing.
	I sit a lot more than we have been sitting.
	And that was it.
	I was like, and she, you know, I was in enough of the relationship, though, there, where she was like good with it.
	You know what I'm saying?
	Like, we knew each other.
	So she's like, okay.
	And then the active things kind of fell off and it was fun.
	That's cool, man.
	Yeah.
	You got to, yeah.
	I mean, how hard are you looking right now?
	Right now, I'm actually trying to.
	You don't need to get back into it again.
	I know you don't want to.
	Yeah, no, I'm actually just trying to take a step back right now and I'm just going to like spend a little bit of time with myself and see what's kind of going on.
	You working out?
	You taking care of yourself?
	Yeah, I'm doing pretty good, man.
	I'm fasting today, actually.
	You fasted?
	I fasted yesterday.
	Did you?
	Yes.
	Let's go.
	Let's go, baby.
	Dude, yeah.
	I fasted today.
	I fasted.
	Let me see.
	I did like three days last week.
	I just got into it this year.
	And so it's been interesting.
	I feel super dehydrated today.
	Yeah.
	But it's like some days that happens.
	That's the biggest thing.
	You got to replace the water.
	And by the way, if you do fast, the next day you don't go to Nashville.
	It's just Nashville.
	I just went to the deli here and crushed it.
	It was great.
	Well, that's the thing.
	Like I bounce back and forth.
	I can do a day fasting.
	And then the next day you should just kind of be good on your body because it's like it digests it, like it's feeling good and then you can't put crap back in.
	So I got to stop doing that.
	It's obviously the battle for me, the food, but that's awesome that you're fasting.
	Yeah, I like it.
	What do you fast for?
	You don't need to lose weight.
	So you're fasting for.
	Just for health reasons, just because they say like autophagy your body gets into and then it helps fight like cancer cells and things like that.
	Like your body starts taking care of itself.
	And because my brain gets clear, I have noticed it's funny.
	I just noticed this the other day.
	I think I'm having dreams that seem more relevant to like direction in my life and like some sort of like information, not all the time, but a little bit more than just like dreaming that I'm like attacking somebody with an, you know, like, you know, fighting a neighbor.
	Exactly.
	Regular shit or waiting in line or whatever.
	Yes.
	Yes.
	But you have dreams of waiting in line?
	Oh, yeah.
	Oh, dude.
	Lou Farigno's in a lot of them.
	No.
	Yeah.
	You and Lou Farigno are waiting in a line?
	Yeah.
	At the post office, and his wife's mad at him.
	No, at him or you?
	At him.
	Are you in front of him or behind him?
	Huh?
	I'm behind him.
	Yes.
	Yeah.
	And I know.
	You see it going on.
	Yeah.
	You see the whole relationship.
	And then is the lady behind the counter going like next?
	Or you never get there.
	You never get there.
	We never get there.
	Dude, that is the greatest dream of all time.
	Dude, I've had, I probably had it 300 times where I finally was able.
	You ever had a dream so many times?
	You're just on the edge when you wake up.
	You're like, what?
	Yeah.
	I've had it so many times.
	What is it?
	You know?
	And you're like, it's horseradish.
	Yes.
	Dude, yeah, that's one of a big one for me.
	I love it.
	But recently, I've been getting, I've just been getting a little more information.
	Anyway, I just think it's, I feel clearer in a lot of ways.
	It's helping me feel a little bit more inspired.
	I think to take care of myself because I think it starts to show me that I'm willing to make some sacrifices, even in little ways.
	That's what it is.
	Man, that's have you done it?
	You're a yeah, I did fasting like I do it like every once in a while I'll do it, but I did a really long one and and uh it was great and then I left out again.
	I told Rogan this: I did 41 and a half days water, and and and uh but honestly, I didn't rid myself of like I was doing it for like different like spiritual reasons.
	Like I wanted to clear out everything.
	And because the whole journey I was watching like food, pictures of food, and going, This is what I'm going to eat when I'm done.
	I can't wait to get back to it.
	I never really broke the habit of going, I don't need food, it doesn't matter.
	I would feed, you know, I would cook food for my kids and the smell of food.
	I'd be like, hey, can I make you a sandwich?
	Because I was living through that and I wouldn't eat it and I was fine with that, but I needed to see the food and hold it.
	I'd smell it, you know, and then I hand it off.
	And it didn't break the real bind, you know what I'm saying?
	The cord of being detached from stuff.
	And that's what I got to do in my life with everything, you know, because I'm addicted a guy.
	Like, I'll just be like, oh, I got to cut it off.
	That's it.
	Yeah, I think that's what I'm doing, kind of trying to do with dating right now.
	It's just like, let me take a break from like because if I put myself into a moment over here and I'm engaged, I'm in this over here, and then I'm going on maybe a date that I'm not interested in, but maybe over here, somebody I am interested in, but now I don't have time because I'm kind of dividing it up.
	And then I'm like, I'm like, let me just see what's going on.
	You know, here at the factory, you know?
	Yeah.
	By the way, I had a dream that I was on the ledge of a building and I'm falling.
	I've had this one a few times.
	I'm falling, but I never leave the ledge.
	I'm just yelling the whole time like I'm falling down.
	You know what I'm saying?
	So I'm like, ah, but I didn't, I never jumped.
	I'm just looking.
	Yeah.
	And then I wake up.
	That one comes back anyway.
	I just want to throw that in there.
	I'd be so pissed if I'm down there.
	I'm like, what is this?
Dreams and Divided Attention 00:09:39
	Yeah.
	Look at this poser.
	Yes, exactly.
	You're looking like, is he doing it?
	He's just yelling.
	He's giving all, you know, he's got all the accoutrement, but no, no fall.
	Dude, the weird guy at a suicide jump is the guy who's just waiting down there.
	They got to jump.
	Just like this, not just.
	Arrest him.
	Yeah.
	That's what you should do because this guy's not either helping or pushing.
	You know, either one.
	He's not doing anything.
	He either runs upstairs, do something, make a move, but he's just waiting.
	These are the people in life we don't need.
	Eating and the guy that's eating and waiting.
	Eating.
	If you get nachos and you're pulling up and you're waiting for a guy to jump.
	Yeah, you're like, hey, yeah, yeah.
	I can't.
	Give me 30 seconds.
	Let me grab this nachos.
	Ledge, to dream of standing on a ledge represents being on the verge of something.
	Is it?
	Yes.
	Someone else may be very close to finally making a big decision.
	You may be feeling tense or experiencing anxiety about a difficult change.
	Alternatively, a ledge may reflect how close you or someone else isn't close to going in a far sitch.
	Wow.
	Shit, I fucked.
	I messed up the scent.
	That's okay.
	It doesn't matter.
	Because you know what?
	It still kind of hits the area.
	Do you know what I'm saying?
	I kind of got the gist of it.
	Yeah, thanks.
	Yeah, Rogan's crazy.
	Have you been on his show before?
	I did Joe's show.
	And I've known Joe for got to be 35, maybe more than 35 years.
	I think you remember.
	Wow.
	What's 1990?
	No, maybe 34 years.
	What is it?
	With 1990s, 36 years, right?
	26.
	That's so wild.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	He's the one who got me, I mean, really with my manager.
	And he's just, he's always been the guy that's just like, go follow your own path.
	And, you know, he was the one that got me out of, yeah, he got me out of.
	Did he always seem so confident?
	Yeah.
	He did.
	He just did.
	He was the one who got me out of it.
	Like, I was the stand-up comedian behind the mic with the, you know, the sleeves pushed up and the bolo tie.
	I don't know if you remember these comics, these comics wear the jackets, the funny jackets, the color.
	And he just wasn't that guy.
	He was just a hat backwards guy and just go out there.
	And he always tells me, Don't, I was always like so desperate to get laughs and trying so hard.
	And he was like, you know, don't give them your jokes on a platter.
	Like, he was one that told me, like, basically, make them comfortable knowing that whatever you say, you know, is funny.
	And if they don't know it, like, they got to catch up and be part of it.
	You know, right?
	Don't make it about the jokes, make it be you.
	Yeah, you're there for that.
	Yes, yeah.
	He was such an influence on so was he did.
	Other people see him because now people see him.
	I mean, and I certainly do like as a, you know, I don't know if it's a pioneer as much, but like, I mean, he's the best in his space, like in podcasting.
	His stand-up is just, I mean, he's just a killer.
	Like, he's always been.
	You know, he's always, he just was like, he's super, super intense in anything he like once he locks on doing it.
	He just seems so confident.
	I told him, I think, like, when he, I think God's going to make him one of the greatest saints of the 21st century.
	I really do.
	I think this guy, and I keep saying, because God's going to use him, he's like, I don't know what the hell you're talking about.
	He just goes and he seeks truth.
	And he's a guy that is just like, when he seeks it, he knows it's true.
	He, he's unrelenting.
	Like, he just doesn't stop.
	Yeah.
	And it's like, that's who, like, he'll go social.
	He's, he's crazy.
	Like, I knew it was martial arts.
	It was jiu-jitsu.
	We started.
	We started jiu-jitsu together, by the way.
	I'm a blue belt.
	I'm a blue belt 30-something years.
	He's crazy black belt.
	He's beyond, you know, he's dark black belt.
	Dude, he's so, he's cafe de Negron.
	He is badass.
	He is the real deal.
	He really is.
	And he was getting into the internet before anybody and just searching these things and truth.
	And then, I mean, he was crazy about it.
	And I was just like, oh, I never, I'm always behind the curve, way behind it.
	Well, we need sleep, I think.
	He's like the kind of guy.
	He's like, I don't know.
	He always just seems to me like he's so.
	And he and I know, he and I know each other pretty well now.
	But he just is always go.
	He's always go and he's so curious and he remembers everything.
	That's the craziest thing.
	You can't lie to him because he remembers everything.
	So you're about to lie and you're like, oh shit.
	No, he's and he'll call you out.
	That's what I love about it.
	Like, you know, even me, like, I'm there.
	I know him for 30, 36 years now.
	Even doing his podcast, it's like, you got to be careful because he'll be like, what?
	What do you mean?
	And it's like a dog, you know, it's a dog that caught you and you're like, you know, and you got to come, you know.
	But I love that because he's in, there's such an innocence behind that.
	He just wants to know the truth.
	He's like, that's not true.
	You didn't say that or you didn't do it.
	So you got to do it.
	He is kind of an oracle.
	Like, I don't know if it's an oral, but he's kind of like a mirror of something.
	You know what I'm saying?
	There is something about that.
	I think that's super.
	I totally believe it.
	Some people give him a hard time, whatever, but to me, he's always seemed very altruistic as just to who he is, you know, or trying to be the best of who he is.
	That's it.
	Everybody falls.
	Everybody makes mistakes and does things wrong.
	But I know this guy is searching for truth.
	And he's always just calling it out.
	He's an astronaut, man.
	He's everything.
	Dude, yeah, I was at the UFC the other day and he brings these big bags of beef snacks and it's just beef and salt.
	That's dried out beef.
	And he brings because he wants to get down from 2% to 1%, buddy.
	He's doing something.
	Wow.
	He's always over there fucking, you know, drinking fucking bat saliva or something, doing something, trying to get an upper.
	But anyway, yeah, there it is, carnivore snacks.
	So he has three bags and he gave one to Daniel Cormrier.
	And then Daniel traded one of his and traded for what?
	I had a tub of popcorn.
	And he couldn't keep away from it.
	Oh, I love it.
	He's like, my hand just keeps ending up in there.
	DC.
	Yeah.
	But anyway, that was pretty great, dude.
	But I got to eat a whole bag of those beef snacks.
	How were they?
	You know what?
	They're really good.
	They're not too salty.
	So, you don't get like chip fatigue anyway?
	Right.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Some of the chip fatigue?
	Well, sometimes it's like you're chewing on the top of a shoe, and it's just tiring.
	It's exhausting for the teeth.
	Oh, and it's not like jerky.
	Jerky to me, sometimes at a certain point, seems like, what are we doing here?
	Yes, it's a give up.
	You give up.
	Yeah.
	But this is nothing like that.
	That's cool.
	Yeah.
	And it feels kind of carnivorous, I guess, in a sense.
	Yeah, I enjoyed it.
	Right.
	But it's fun just seeing him over there with their snacks.
	But sometimes you'll see Daniel Cormby over there.
	He'll have a thing of summer sauce.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	And it's freaking February.
	He dips.
	And he's over there just slicing it off.
	I love it.
	I love it.
	He's a good man.
	He's like me in that he loves his food.
	We golf together.
	I golf with.
	Yeah.
	Do you golf with him?
	I did golf with him and Chris Wyban.
	Chris Wyman loves you too, by the way.
	Chris Wydeman's a cool guy.
	Yeah, he loves you.
	I know Chris for a Long Island guy.
	So he's, did you ever, so whenever you were training, was he training too?
	Always training with him in their group, Ray Longo, and over there.
	Dude, that's cool.
	Yeah, they're fun.
	They're a fun group.
	Long Island is tough guys, man.
	A lot of good guys came out of Long Island.
	Yeah.
	So, no, but it was, it's, you know, fun.
	Him and DC, we all went out and golfed and had a blast.
	And, oh, does that mean next to Wydeman?
	Yeah, Wyman.
	Wyman is hilarious, dude.
	He's got the best energy, bro.
	Yeah, he's a great guy.
	He's incredible.
	And yeah, he has a great show now that they do, too.
	Yes.
	He was just telling me that.
	They're doing more and more with him.
	And I said, man, I was so happy that he stopped fighting.
	I want them all to stop fighting because I don't want anybody to get hurt.
	You get to know all these guys.
	You're like, please don't fight anymore.
	I can't.
	That's why I stopped watching.
	I don't go anymore.
	I used to go all the time.
	Oh, you did?
	With Rogan.
	Oh, I wouldn't.
	Dude, there was no, yeah, I would go to these fights before anybody was even there.
	Oh, wow.
	I would hear the stomping on the canvas.
	There'd be nobody there.
	Yes.
	I love that.
	I go in the quiet and you hear a crack of a fist into a jaw or something.
	And I loved every moment of it, but I just couldn't do it anymore because I would get to know these fighters.
	And I was like, I couldn't.
	Randy Couture and Chuck Liddell, those fights.
	I saw Chuck Liddell.
	I thought he passed away.
	And I was like, holy shit.
	Yeah.
	No, I couldn't.
	Look at you.
	You are there early.
	Oh, dude, I go early.
	Dude, I love that.
	Last time I got there too early.
	I love that, man.
	So you're not showing up at the main event, going in there, sitting down there.
	I think this is amazing.
	These are like these people that are doing the thing that they love the most.
	And some of them in the early, it's they're coming out for the first time into this UFC.
	Like, and they come out and nobody's there.
	It's like, and, but, dude, yeah, sometimes you see some of the best fights early.
	Yep.
	Yeah, I love it, dude.
	Good for you.
	Yeah, that was it.
	And then I would start to know these fighters and I couldn't watch them anymore.
	I was there with Rich Franklin when he got knocked out by Anderson Silva.
	And it just, I was there with his wife, you know, watching this and just like, you're just stunned.
	And I'm like, I can't do this anymore.
	So I stopped going.
	I couldn't do it.
	I don't want to see these guys.
	And I was telling him, I wanted to say that I wanted to get Chris out of fighting because I was like, he's had so many surgeries, broken leg, you know, all these things.
	And it's like, just, he's a good looking guy, man.
	Do you know, get on TV and he's funny and he's, you know, personable.
	So I'm glad to see he's doing TV stuff.
	Yeah, there's a lot of great guys over there.
	Anger Girls, it's been fun.
	Yeah, being associated with that whole thing has been just so exciting just to get to go watch it.
	You know, do you train?
	No, I trained for a little while and then I just kept getting hurt.
	Yeah, it's tough.
	Like my ribs and I'd be having like some fucking huge guy would be rolling over on me or something.
	And it was just like, it was a lot.
	So I think I'll do it again whenever I don't have so much responsibility.
	I got to do it when they work out the smell.
Rich Franklin's Knockout 00:04:39
	You know what I'm saying?
	The smell of the room.
	Oh, yeah.
	Just, I can't do it.
	Not at 60.
	Like when I was younger, I was like, hey, you got to be, it doesn't matter what it is.
	You know, at 60, you go, I don't, I don't need to smell this anymore.
	You hit 60?
	Yeah, I hit 60.
	Do you believe that?
	Yes.
	No, not at all.
	Yes.
	You're a baby.
	I'm telling you, I've been around a long time.
	So, what I'm saying is, I don't need the smell of a jiu-jitsu room anymore.
	Yeah.
	I'll do it privately.
	I'll do it like that way for a while.
	And once, you know, because a wet gi, I don't think there's much worse than that going up against a guy with a wet, right?
	And you're like, and you're in there, and he's got your face, and he's cranking it.
	And all you got is like wet gi and chest hair.
	It's past gay.
	It's past like a gay feeling.
	I think it's gay.
	It's not even beyond romance.
	Yeah, it's not, yeah.
	It's a control thing.
	And it's just some guy.
	And I'm out of control.
	Yeah, it's just not good.
	And he got wet and then got cold and wet.
	Yes.
	That's what you're saying.
	If somebody's warm and wet, at least you're like.
	It's actually a bath.
	Yeah, that feels a little bit more like a bath would feel.
	Cold and wet is just bad.
	And the smell.
	Yeah, that's tough stuff, dude.
	Not my favorite.
	Nope.
	We've got another segment now brought to you by Pepsi.
	You saw the bear, the myth, the legend in the Super Bowl commercial where he chose Pepsi Zero Sugar.
	And now we've got him in studio here.
	What's up, bear?
	First off, thanks for coming.
	I don't even know how you got here.
	Well, actually, we just had a huge freeze here.
	So, oh, you can't talk.
	Okay.
	I think what'll be easiest to get to know you, I think, is if I ask you questions and you just use these paddles, this or that.
	Does that make sense to you?
	Okay.
	Let's get started.
	Okay, I got to ask you out the gate, big dog.
	This female polar bears or that?
	Thick raccoons?
	Female polar bears, huh?
	Okay.
	But if you get one of those snow racks going and show you, okay, let's keep it moving.
	This Polar Express or that?
	Tokyo Drift.
	Tokyo Drift, really?
	Oh, yeah.
	But Tom Hanks narrated Polar Express.
	Yeah, you're right, kind of.
	Dude, this is just for me.
	Have you ever had penguin?
	How is it?
	I knew it.
	They won't let us have it.
	Dude, what's your stripper name?
	You think?
	What do you mean?
	You live at the North Pole.
	It's the biggest pole in the world.
	You never even thought about your stripper name.
	It's the last thing you ate and the street you grew up on.
	Yeah, I think.
	So yours would probably like Snow Way Zero Sugar.
	Coming to the main glacier.
	I like it.
	I like it.
	Zero sugar.
	That's what I'm talking about.
	Get that sugar out of here, boy.
	Don't be crazy.
	Around me with that sugar.
	I don't want no sugar bear.
	I want my bear to be sugar-free.
	Sugar-free.
	Sorry.
	Something took over me.
	Okay, that's not edible.
	All right, you can.
	I don't care.
	I think we have another one.
	So this, the first sip, or that, the last sip, all sips?
	All right, this is the last one.
	This is a big one.
	This Coca-Cola Zero Sugar or that?
	Pepsi Zero Sugar.
	It's the truth.
	Pepsi Zero Sugar tastes better than Coca-Cola Zero Sugar.
	That's his take.
	That's my take.
	But let your tastes decide.
	Hey.
	Yeah.
	Jeeps, where are you going?
	Oh, wherever you want, I guess.
	Where does a polar bear sit?
	Wherever he wants.
Wherever You Want 00:12:19
	Was it hard for you to adapt to married life once you got married?
	No.
	No.
	Once I found her, it was like, I remember I went away.
	I was with her for a while.
	You know, it's like, this is it.
	I knew this was it.
	And it wasn't because, oh, I got to get married or anything like that.
	I could tell because I just didn't want to be away from her.
	And I had to do, I think, a couple gigs or whatever.
	I was on the road for a while and she couldn't go.
	And I just hated being away from her.
	I was calling her every night and I was like, wow, I got to get back there.
	Have you had that feeling in a long time?
	I hadn't.
	Not with who I was dating and going out with.
	So, no, it wasn't there.
	It was totally different.
	You just click on so many different levels.
	And it just becomes apparent.
	Like, man, I need this person in my life.
	This is, you know, they make me better too.
	You know, you know what I'm saying?
	They were like, that's it.
	So it's, she's, she's amazing that way.
	So that was it.
	And I was like, I'm done.
	I'm happy.
	Gosh.
	Oh, that's a great thing to say.
	Yeah.
	No, I am.
	It's amazing.
	Yeah, when you get excited, when you see your wife, you get excited, you give her a hug.
	Yeah, I'll give her a hug.
	But sometimes, you know, it's also, it's not, you know, all the time.
	It's not crazy romantic all the time.
	Oh, yeah.
	It's life.
	You know, you're tired.
	It's like, you know, you just pass each other.
	Sometimes it's, you know, it's a fist bump.
	It's like, all right, get out of here.
	Whatever it is.
	But, but I miss her this morning.
	She left this morning.
	You know, we were out last night.
	And then I was like, wow.
	You know, you know, you're going to have all those feelings.
	It's, you know, all the emotions and everything.
	And all the cooking or this, that, the things that you love them so much about, it's a bounce of them all.
	It's everything.
	It's the good.
	It's the bad.
	And you just realize overall, it's like, I never want to be without him.
	You know, even in the worst moments.
	So you know that and it's real.
	You think you can fall in like a different type of love when you're like, like in your late 30s or as you get older than you can when you're younger, you think?
	First, for me, I think I matured.
	I'm still not that mature.
	You know, I'm 60.
	So I still think like a kid, like an idiot.
	So for me, I'm glad it happened later.
	You know, some people are able to know what they want when they're younger and much more mature.
	I was not there, you know.
	Yeah, I think, and your career might not have happened the same.
	Yeah, that's for sure.
	I needed to be kind of by myself and get it going.
	Because you would have left your family all the time to go war.
	It would have just been really different.
	It would have been rough for sure.
	Yeah.
	So I'm glad I got the grind out.
	Now I take them with me if I'm doing a movie.
	I'm never away from him for that long, which is good.
	Do you miss some of those days, like the road days back in the day?
	Like, are there any of them that you kind of romanticize a little bit?
	I still do them.
	You know, it's like the days.
	But I mean, like clubs that weren't just like, you know, I'm talking about like, you know.
	Stealing the condo and all that stuff.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Like, did you ever stay in Mississauga?
	You stayed in condos?
	Oh, yeah.
	You did?
	You ever stay in Mishawaka over there?
	No, where's that?
	No.
	Indiana, like right outside of Notre Dame.
	It's right there.
	No.
	No.
	But I just, I mean, crazy, crappy condos and stuff like that.
	But it was exciting.
	It was me, my brother, a couple other guys, comedians that were, you know, we would Rogan, you know, but never went on the road with Rogan.
	But yeah, it was great.
	It was fun.
	You know, you stay at casino.
	Like, I used to play the Tropicana in Vegas.
	Yeah.
	And I never gambled.
	I'd never been to Vegas.
	And I remember losing my week.
	You go there for a week.
	You do two shows a night for seven days, man.
	You have to eat downstairs with the sash.
	Yes, exactly.
	And the business is no food and they're asking you for food.
	Yes.
	Yeah, exactly.
	It's rough.
	But you're excited to be there.
	It was like 103 degrees.
	This is, I remember when OJ, when they were chasing OJ, I was in Vegas at the Tropicana and we were drinking.
	We got a, you're staying in your hotel.
	You got no, I think you're getting maybe, I don't even know how much money you're getting, but I lost in the first night, I've lost my entire week's worth of money.
	I'm not kidding.
	So we got a case of Bud Light Ice, which was the beer then.
	It was so good and frosty at a gas station.
	I remember that beat.
	Do you remember that?
	Yeah, they discontinued it.
	It was great.
	Yes.
	I liked it.
	I did too.
	Bud Light Ice.
	I think I've a picture of it.
	At least something what it looked like.
	And they had met of, there was something dog at the same time, another red dog.
	Red dog.
	Yes.
	I love that.
	You know.
	Bud Dog was disgusting.
	It was supposed to be for like disabled.
	Bud Light Ice.
	There you go.
	We got a case of that and we sat in my hotel room and we just pounded it and it was like still 103 degrees at night.
	I remember that and OJ was being chased or whatever.
	It was just crazy.
	Dude, I remember I would be in my hotel.
	I remember this one hotel I stayed at, I think it was outside of Syracuse in like Liberty, New York or something.
	And they gave you a cup of water and it was filled up when I got in the room.
	It was like a cup of water.
	I was like, it wasn't even like a bottle of water.
	And I was like, oh, that was for you.
	It's your hotel.
	Yeah.
	If you're thirsty, we poured you a cup of water and put it in there.
	Did you stay in some rough places?
	Yeah, just places where you like would have to walk along the interstate to get there, whatever, like your highway to get there.
	Just some places that were a little bit like, what is going on here?
	I drove eight hours to a gig that I had to do.
	One gig.
	It was one night.
	I was making like no money.
	I get there early before the gig.
	And it's a crappy motel type thing.
	I pull the bed back because I'm tired.
	I just drove eight hours.
	Got to take a nap before the show.
	Yeah.
	There's a roach in the blanket.
	I mean, I don't even know what it was this big.
	I literally just put the blanket back.
	I went to the show.
	I just sat in my car in the parking lot until the thing was ready.
	Did the show, drove home eight hours, man.
	I'm not staying with a roach.
	Couldn't do it.
	There's some miserable places.
	Yeah, dude.
	I remember we were to save like $100, you'd fly into a city that was like four hours.
	Like if you could figure out the math, then drive here and get a ride.
	Then you're like, oh, I'll just finish a show.
	I'll drive and catch a flight out of Indianapolis at 5 a.m.
	Just like everything was like.
	Did you have a buddy?
	Did you like a comic buddy that you go with or are you by yourself?
	I didn't.
	I was out there and I'd always pee in the bed.
	I'd always pee on my cell phone once it came out.
	So I'd miss certain calls or wake-up alarms.
	Back that up.
	Wait a second.
	What did you say?
	I would wet the bed.
	You would wet the bed?
	Yeah, wet the bed.
	Let's start with this one first and then we'll back it in there.
	Why is your cell phone in the bed?
	I would put it on the counter.
	No.
	No.
	I'd fall.
	Put it on the counter.
	That's not that close.
	You shouldn't have that close to you anyway.
	Put that on there.
	And by the way, you won't pee on it then.
	But why are you wetting the bed?
	I was wetting the bed.
	Are you drunk or just letting it come?
	I was drunk and I wet the bed till I wet the bed for a long time.
	Okay.
	I was in it.
	Just because you got used to it when you were younger and you're like, let's just keep going with this?
	I can't remember, dude.
	I just think I just was always so nervous.
	Yeah.
	And whenever I was asleep, at some point, finally, I wasn't nervous.
	And my body's like, well, this is when we got to urinate, you know?
	You seem like a guy that operates from a place of fear, right?
	Everything in fear.
	Like, I'm that way.
	I don't know about you, but I get worried about everything.
	Or you're not worried about everything.
	Oh, I would get worried.
	Like if I'm with a girl and there's like a moment of silence, it makes me so fucking I get so scared.
	Yeah, I'm like, I just don't want to give her room not to, like, it was almost like if there's any space here, she'll not like me.
	That's exactly not to look.
	So you got to fill that space up.
	Yeah.
	And I would do it with one word for the next set.
	So it's like, if we were talking, I'm like, yeah, when I went to the other day, the game with my brother and it was a lot of fun.
	And then it gets quiet and I would go because to give you moments to start.
	Yes.
	But I don't know what I'm saying.
	And she's like, what do you mean?
	And I'm like, because, and I'm like, in my head, I'm like, hey, because it has to follow.
	You got to follow with something if you say because it.
	So I was like, because, you know, we just like the team that was playing something.
	And then it's like dead again.
	And I'm like, I do another one.
	So, and it's just those little words like, just shut up, man.
	Sit in the pocket.
	I can't sit in the pocket.
	I can't sit in the pocket.
	Dude, it's the same with baseball.
	I would get up there.
	I would swing three times before even fucking through it.
	And I would go sit down.
	Yes.
	And if they had time with it, I love it.
	I'm going home.
	My mom would sit in the distance.
	She would be in the van and she would honk.
	She's like, if you don't hit it, we're fucking leaving.
	I love it.
	I never hit it.
	Dude, I love that.
	I never hit it, dude.
	But yeah, there's something about that moment where it's like, I just can't.
	And especially if it's like looking a woman in the eyes, too, that's always been like super tough.
	It's just like something.
	It's like, yeah, I just always had a tough time with that, but I can't let there be a thing.
	Well, I couldn't, if the woman didn't, like in high school or even beyond, I had to know the girl.
	Like she had to come over to me.
	Like I could never be one of those guys to go up.
	I'd be like, ask my friends, she's like, she likes you.
	Go talk to her.
	I'm like, couldn't talk to her.
	I want to walk around her in a big circle.
	Oh, gosh.
	Yes.
	That's funny.
	That's great, though.
	That's insane.
	That's marking your territory and you're trying to go in and you don't even know how to do it.
	Yeah, I would need her to come over and I would need confirmation of, yes, I like you.
	Yes.
	Let's go out.
	You know, I couldn't, I'd be like, you sure?
	I'd give her every hour.
	Like, we don't have to do this if you don't want to go out.
	Are you okay?
	That's what I was.
	If anybody hangs out with me a lot, I'm always like, are you okay?
	There's a, I don't even do it on purpose.
	I just, there's a part of me that just asks them that.
	Yeah.
	But yeah.
	It's a sweetness, man, but it's a, it's a worry that you're not good enough, right?
	I mean, I'm sure.
	And I think it's not even on the front of my thoughts anymore, but it's still just this old thing that's just built in me, you know?
	I've had it.
	But that looking in the eyes, like, yeah, I couldn't look a woman in the eye.
	I just like, I don't know what it is.
	If I, if they, I don't know what I'm afraid they're going to see, you know, they're just going to see that something's wrong with me probably or something, you know, or I'm going to, or I'm going to see them.
	Here's what I think it is too.
	I'm going to see them see that something's wrong with me.
	Right?
	You would look for signs.
	She saw me just like she, she knows I'm weak.
	Like, I'll know the look in her eyes.
	I'll know the look in her eyes when she sees that, when she realizes that there's something wrong with me.
	So I got, I like, I don't know.
	So I don't want to lock out.
	Something like that.
	I don't know what it is.
	Anyway, sorry for talking.
	You don't want to?
	No, no, it's the truth.
	I'm the same way.
	You don't want to give yourself the possibility of failing.
	So it's like you kill it before it happens.
	Yeah.
	You go, I'll self-kill it before.
	Then I didn't fail.
	It just went down.
	Whatever.
	But then did life gets, but then life gets along.
	You're like, what kind of, what theme park am I living in here with myself?
	Even if I get out of it, I'm out of it now.
	I'm coming out of it.
	I really am.
	I don't let those things that scare me anymore.
	Like, I don't care anymore.
	I do it.
	And that's, it's a, it's been helping a lot.
	I mean it.
	Yes.
	Just by just doing.
	Yeah.
	You figure it out.
	You go, no, I don't care.
	She says, no, she's no, this one, this, whatever.
	I don't get this.
	This doesn't do well.
	I don't care.
	Moving on.
	What's next?
	Let's go.
	We know what we got.
	God is good.
	Go, go, go.
	It gets stuck so much on the thinking side.
	Yeah.
	You got to get out of your own way.
	I'm the same way.
	Yeah.
	That's interesting, dude.
	But yeah, that would be a lot of it.
	God.
	Yeah.
	That would be a lot of it.
	But yeah, that thing I'll be, I'll be like, um, what else is going on?
	I'll say that all the time.
	Yeah.
	If things get real quiet, that's a weird thing, huh?
	But I think that's what makes you your brain is like, we got to come up with something.
	What are we doing here, boys?
	You know, yes.
	Yeah.
	And I'm telling you, you look calm outside, but inside, it's like, there's a fire.
	What do we do next?
	Like, she's not like I remember it all.
	I remember it.
	It's over.
	It's cortisol shooting out of your face.
	You know, it's like, ah, I don't know what to do.
	I can't control myself.
	You know, it's just when you think back on it, it's so insane.
	It is, too.
	It means nothing.
	It meant nothing.
	Don't worry.
	Just calm down.
	Sit in the pocket.
	Yeah.
	Spade does a good job of that, man.
	He's always been that guy, right?
	He's very cool.
	Yeah.
	I've never been the cool guy.
	Cool.
	Yeah.
	My friend was the cool guy.
	Yeah.
	All my friends were the cool guy.
	Like, it was never me.
Struggling to Be Cool 00:15:15
	I was never that guy.
	No.
	Even at times when I thought I was that guy, I was like, ah, that's insane that you thought that, dude.
	You know, because it just doesn't fit.
	Right.
	Yeah.
	I don't, I don't, I don't.
	And then it worked for me to not be that guy.
	And it's like when you admit it, you know, once you realize, oh, I'm not.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Once you're not trying to be something.
	Yeah.
	It feels better, right?
	And it's like, it's all right.
	That's why it happened.
	It makes things a little bit better.
	Did you feel like a little bit of like your character, Matt Taylor, Matt Taylor?
	That's the guy's name, which is so funny because I know three Matt Taylors, but everybody does.
	Maybe that's why they picked the name.
	There's a lot of them.
	There's a lot of them.
	How many are there?
	Bring that up.
	Please.
	How many Matt Taylors are there?
	I know three.
	There's got to be 14 or more in the world.
	I bet there's 140,000.
	I know.
	I'm joking.
	Oh, sorry.
	Matt Taylor.
	There's no precise global count for the name Matt Taylor.
	A comprehensive worldwide name database does not exist.
	Estimates can be derived from available national data and name frequency tools.
	It up here in the public records about 3,700 times.
	That's it.
	Huh?
	Yeah, there's no way to figure it out.
	Yeah.
	There's a lot of them, though.
	Matt, as a first name alone, has an estimated living population of 207,000.
	I bet it's more than that.
	207,000 Matts.
	There was that Kyle meetup in Texas.
	Do you see that?
	I did not.
	Bring that up.
	All the Kyles.
	All the Kyles met up.
	Really?
	Yeah, bro.
	If we were to branch out now and go to try to figure out how many Matt Taylors there are currently living in the world, what is the first step?
	The first step is, do I go, okay?
	Like, if we just decided right now we're doing it, but do I like, would I say to my guy, like, all right, call his agent.
	Like, we're going to do this thing.
	Like, what is the first step?
	Do we book a first step?
	Is it going to be a good thing?
	Do we say we're going to talk about it or like we need a first meeting of how we're going to go about this thing?
	Is that it?
	The first step, probably agreeing that we're going to do it together.
	Right.
	That would take some time, though, right?
	Because we'd be like, are we really doing this?
	And then it's like, right, well, we got to talk it out.
	Let's think.
	And the logistics of it, like, how would we do it?
	Okay.
	So then.
	And then getting uniforms, too.
	Searching for Matt Taylor uniforms.
	Every Matt.
	That would be sick.
	Would it be a jumpsuit or is it like two pieces?
	Every Matt Taylor.
	I think it's a onesie.
	Oh, one.
	It's a one-piece, like a carhart.
	It's hard work.
	Yes.
	Dude, you know how many Matt Taylors are ours?
	At least 207,000.
	I love it.
	Searching for the, yeah, like the best Matt Taylor.
	Like, yeah, what are we doing?
	So the uniform would be probably the first thing we're working on.
	What are we looking for him for?
	Maybe we got a piece of mail for him.
	Yeah, just something like we can, yeah.
	Or just to give them a, you know, a pat on the back for being Matt, like being part of the team.
	Yeah, being in the army.
	That's a militia.
	That means it is.
	Bring up that meeting of the Kyles again.
	What did they do, too?
	Somebody said that is cool.
	They're all Kyles?
	Yeah, those were all Kyles.
	And Sugar Ray performed, I heard.
	Oh, I love it.
	706 people named Kyle got together in Texas, but it wasn't enough for a world record.
	Oh, how sad is that?
	First of all, let me say something.
	These guys put together, 706 of these people had the dream of becoming a world record breaker with the most Kyles in a certain area.
	I love that.
	And they missed it.
	Look at that.
	By the way.
	As bad as we feel about everything that happened in our lives, if I had that one, that would tip it.
	It'd be tough to lose.
	Come on.
	No, you're second place for most Kyles?
	Second place for most Kyles.
	The crown is currently held by a town in Bosnia.
	They got 235 people named Ivan in 2017.
	So it's any name.
	It's not just Kyle's.
	So it's like, it's just a certain name.
	But this is, I think, one of the largest groupings.
	What did it say about Kyle?
	Did it say anything else?
	Go back to that original article?
	How does that start?
	Where is that first meeting?
	Oh, Kyle.
	Well, it's right here.
	It's not the first time the Kyles have come gunning for the Ivans.
	Last year, the official count at what has become known as the Gathering of the Kyles clocked in at 1490 in the fast-growing Texas city that is about 37 miles of Austin.
	Oh, the city's called Kyle.
	They did it in Kyle, Texas.
	But are they named Kyle?
	They're all named Kyle.
	That's got to be crazy, dude, when you see who all the other freaking Kyles really are.
	If you go door to door, are you knocking and going?
	I'm sure they met it.
	I'm sure there was something online that announced it.
	Okay.
	And then they all showed up.
	I guess you have to register.
	Yeah, that would seem a lot more efficient.
	Oh, dude, that'd be so crazy.
	You look around and everybody's a Kyle and you see some, you're like, whoa, whoa.
	Or they put one person out there that's not a Kyle and the whole day.
	Do you think there's anybody in that group of 706 that's not a Kyle?
	Really?
	That's like Kyle was his nickname.
	It wasn't even his real name.
	And he knows it.
	He's there.
	It's not on his birth certificate.
	And he's kind of like getting around, like not wanting to get caught.
	And people are looking around.
	And other Kyles know if you're not a Kyle.
	So they're just kind of like, and you're like, what's your name?
	And you're like, I'm Kyle too.
	And they're like, I don't know if he, you know, and they're like, hey, they go to get his buddy.
	Like, I want to check you out.
	And then he leaves.
	He's like, I'm going to the bathroom.
	I'll be back.
	And he just goes to a different area of the field.
	It's so stupid.
	It's so crazy.
	It loves me to be a fake Kyle just to fit in.
	But people have nothing to do.
	Look at what they're doing.
	They're just trying.
	I love it, man.
	I love it.
	I love it.
	I'm desperate for connections.
	This is how it's getting.
	By the way, this is beautiful to me.
	But the worst part is, though, imagine it's all dude.
	You go there hoping you can meet a chick.
	There's some chicks named Kyle.
	Oh, do you think so?
	Is that?
	I've met a couple.
	Okay.
	I met a couple for sure.
	Who performed?
	Who performed?
	I think Sugar Ray.
	But that's a missed opportunity.
	Shouldn't they get a Kyle?
	Isn't there a Kyle performer?
	Kyle Kinane could have.
	Yeah.
	I don't know.
	That's a missed opportunity, man.
	It won't try to break the same name gathering record this year.
	Okay, so Kyle's out.
	Oh, so they're switching names.
	By the way, why don't you go with a Bob or something like that?
	You know what I'm saying?
	Man, because the city of Kyle, Texas put it on, it looks like it.
	All right, we'll find a better name.
	The city has been hosting the gathering since 2017.
	All right.
	When you look back, this movie, what was different about making this movie than some of the others?
	Did you find it that it's easier?
	Do you have a different ownership of this film?
	It was something that it came together really quick, but it's the first movie that I'm really proud of that everybody who worked on it was just amazing.
	And it was just different than any other movie I've done.
	And the story is not that, it's not even that crazy different or anything like that.
	But it's a classic.
	We hit every mark that we wanted to hit in doing this in a different way.
	I hired, like, we got the best cast, the best crew.
	And again, it's not me.
	It was them.
	And it was everything coming together in Italy that just made it.
	I just couldn't believe how great it came out.
	And it was like, I know, I think, honestly, for the rest of my life, this would probably be the best movie I've done for me.
	It's the best I've done so far.
	Yes.
	The best you've done, like, even in your acting, you think?
	Or yeah.
	Yeah.
	Well, it's the most where I'm real to, you know, you do different movies for different reasons, right?
	Like, you know, when I did all cop, you know, I'm doing it for families and kids and you're being goofy and broad and this and that.
	And a lot of stuff you're getting that, you know, that's your kind of what they expect from you.
	But this was one where I was able, there's still comedy, but like, I don't hold the comedy as much as like Kim Coates and Jonathan Roomy, these guys, and Allison Hannigan and Julie Jerda.
	Yeah.
	Which allowed me to kind of play more of a real guy, which was fun for me.
	Did you play Jules?
	What was that guy's name?
	Kim Coates from Sons of Anarchy.
	He's just, I've known him for 35 years.
	Like, he's, I did a movie with him and Ray Romano called Grilled.
	Yeah.
	And it never went anywhere.
	We were meet salesmen and I met him.
	And he, he is, he is the greatest.
	He's an insane, an insanely intense actor.
	I don't even even know what he's going to do, but that's why I want him for comedy.
	Wow.
	Like he looks at you and he's, he's just, he's just going to go a certain way and you're going to go with him.
	And he was the perfect guy to play that role.
	Yeah, that was great, dude.
	He was really, really, he was a good guy.
	Yeah, his comedy was right on.
	He's incredible.
	He crushes it.
	Whenever you made, what's another favorite?
	Like, just take me through one more favorite film that you, like, an experience that you had.
	I mean, Hitch.
	I mean, all the, you know, the stuff with Sandler, you know, like that stuff.
	That's a dumb question.
	No, no, I mean, it's like doing stuff with Sandler is the best always.
	What about like a Hitch reboot today?
	Would that work, you think?
	I mean, I don't know how you do it with me, but yeah, I guess you could do it.
	I think so.
	I think it was great.
	Will, that was my first movie.
	So, I mean, I was thankful for that one.
	That was, that started out like, like, I had like one line or something.
	It was like a very small part.
	And then Will and I just connected and he was so nice and given me, you know, some freedom to be funny and kind of try different things.
	And oh, dude, and it just, it, it made everything for me.
	So I was, I was really excited about that.
	There's a lot of pressure when you just have that, that much of a part to try to make it perfect in some way.
	And Hitch, you know, coming in, you know, Will was a massive, you know, movie star.
	Oh, yeah.
	He's been one of the biggest.
	And movie stars were different then.
	It was like, it was just in the theaters.
	It was like, they were special.
	You didn't see them much.
	You know, and I remember we were doing a big table read in New York and he walked in with his crew.
	And I'm like, whoa, you know, my eyes are like, whoa, that's him.
	You know, it's like one of those things.
	And just happy to be there, you know, trying to pitch things, but, you know, don't want to get thrown out of the room, you know, trying, you know, timing and stuff like that.
	But he was great.
	Like we would write after in his trailer, he'd go come back and, you know, we'd work on some material and rewrite it as we were doing it.
	And I was just in it.
	It was a dream for me.
	It was really great.
	And it had that special feeling that I have in this movie, honestly, where you feel things are coming together.
	Because I've done a ton of movies where you go, man, this is just not working.
	You know, it's like, you just feel like you're muscling through.
	You're pushing the comedy too hard.
	This one felt so real to me.
	And it was just so much fun to be a part of.
	Do you have other projects that you already have on the docket, Kevin?
	Yes.
	Yeah, we're working on one with Jelly Roll that I'm going to be, it's actually a drama, country music drama that we're working together.
	You see a video of him the night at the Grammys Red?
	Yeah.
	No, I wasn't there.
	He is amazing, man.
	Yeah, he's great.
	I got a shirt.
	I bought a shirt at Walmart before coming here, and I already stained it up a little bit.
	Let's go.
	Yeah, let's go, Jelly.
	He sent me a pair of those shoes.
	They're like hats.
	They're like, I don't know what they're called.
	Oh, yes.
	Yeah.
	The boots that he wears.
	Yeah.
	Something like that.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	They're great.
	He's an amazing human being, man.
	I'm so proud of him and so excited to do this.
	And in this drama, here's the thing.
	We both, he goes, hey, if we're going to do this, we got to get into like prison shape because we go to prison.
	We're both in prison in the movie, and it's real.
	Where at?
	What city?
	In Nashville.
	Oh, nice.
	So I haven't been in the prison here.
	Yeah.
	It's a whole thing about getting to the Yopery.
	And it's a really, it's a cool story and there's a lot of drama in it.
	And it's exciting.
	But we said, okay, we're going to commit now to doing this.
	And he went out and lost like 300 pounds.
	And I am up seven.
	I got to get down.
	You're up seven pounds right now?
	Yes.
	He's down like 300.
	I'm up seven.
	Oh, that's a crazy thing.
	So, yeah, it's a big spread.
	We went the wrong way.
	And you already know, no, we didn't shoot anything yet.
	We shoot in like we're hoping to do seven, eight months.
	We're going to be, we're going to be ready to shoot.
	So do you think you can get to that?
	I know I can.
	I'm going to do it right now.
	I'm literally, after I promote this movie, which I'm doing, I'm shutting down from everything else and I'm going into training mode like never before.
	I'm going to work out.
	I'm going to change everything.
	I'm going to be unrecognizable.
	I have to say it.
	If I don't say it, I'll never be accountable.
	What will you do?
	Like, what do you have?
	Do you have like a plan to do it?
	Yeah, I'm going to do everything.
	I'm going to go easy, though.
	You know, it's like, that's the one thing.
	I'm very eclectic when I work out.
	Like, I do, you know, I'll do a little bit of jiu-jitsu and stuff like that.
	Light stuff, though, now, and boxing and then stretching and a little bit of stuff, bike riding, things like that.
	Pool is insane.
	You know, I swimming?
	Not swimming.
	I'm not a swimmer, but just getting in a pool and stretching and moving a little bit, if you can do that, if you have access to that, too, but it's also like a lot of calories.
	And it's therapeutic because the water holds you.
	So it's like your body feels good stretching and moving.
	So doing a lot of that.
	And no, I got to get on it, though.
	He's like, he's lived up to his part of the bargain.
	Or are you going to have a trainer?
	Like, what else will you do?
	I do, but trainers get annoying to me.
	I got to be honest.
	Like, after a while.
	And you know what?
	If I'm being completely honest, I've done it before.
	I know what to do.
	I know what to eat.
	I know what, you know, but I am using Dolce.
	Do you know Mike Dolce?
	He's got the Dolce diet.
	He's trained all these UFC athletes.
	Oh, wait.
	I have met him before.
	Yeah.
	He's awesome.
	He's going to help me.
	Yes.
	He's a badass.
	He's a really good.
	He's going to help.
	He is going to help.
	He's frustrated with me because I haven't been doing, he knows I haven't been doing it.
	Hey, you're up seven.
	Yeah.
	So I don't think he knew that.
	I guess he's going to know that now.
	All right.
	Sorry, Dolce.
	I'm up seven, but I didn't lock in yet.
	When I lock in, I promise you it's going to be six months.
	I'm going to be a different person.
	what would be the hardest thing for you to give up?
	You think food wise or just, I mean, probably food wise.
	Yeah.
	Or is it a beer-wise or what is it?
	No, no, it's not drinking.
	I'm not a big, big drinker.
	It's just food, and it's just amounts of food.
	Like I could eat constantly if you change the food, like a shark.
	Like I would just keep swimming.
	Like I would just keep.
	Yeah.
	I don't get, I don't get full, really, you know?
	It's scary.
	It's something in me that, you know, I need to stop.
	But are you a big eater?
	You don't, you look great, man.
	I like to eat some, but I don't care that much.
	You don't.
	I like beef quesadillas and I like smoothie.
	Okay, but so you're not.
	That's a great.
	Yeah.
	Those are the two things I eat every single day.
	Do you really?
	If I'm eating, that's what I eat.
	It's easy.
	We have seven ingredients.
	But you don't think about it.
	See, look at your face.
	You're kind of like, that's your face when, you know, that's not my face with food.
	But I think it's lame to not care about food sometimes.
	I think like, dude, get some zest in your world.
	No, I think we should.
	You can think about a fucking sauce or something.
	No, I think that's, I would rather be like that because, you know, why am I so concerned about what I'm eating for lunch?
	Like, I'm thinking about it constantly.
	I'm looking at you right now, but I'm thinking tonight, where like, you don't want to make a mistake.
	You don't want to go.
	That's a good point.
Stuck On Butter 00:04:33
	Right?
	Nothing's worse than making a mistake at all.
	Especially when you're like, we're in Nashville now.
	Oh, dude.
	So we got to pop.
	You got to find something good.
	Dude, I went to I ordered a steak from this place, STK, last night.
	Oh, SDK's great.
	This was not, dude.
	Oh, really?
	STK missed?
	Didn't they have a place in the, they have a few of them, right?
	They're a chain?
	Yeah.
	I mean, it's.
	But not a.
	Oh, it still makes me sick.
	It tastes like, I don't even know.
	Oh, STK.
	Sorry.
	I'm out then.
	I'm out.
	If you had a bad one.
	Oh, it tasted like.
	No, I'm done.
	It tasted like.
	Okay.
	Vagina.
	If they had one in LA, I think I went to it in the 1800s or whatever.
	Like game of really groans, dude.
	It was a horrible game of, oh, dude, I can still, I had one bite and I was like, oh, maybe I got a bad one.
	In what way?
	What was wrong with the meat or whatever?
	It tasted bad or it just touched.
	It tasted bad and it just had this like aroma order.
	Oh, no.
	Ordour or whatever with it.
	And dude, that hors d'oeuvre hit me and I was like.
	Wait, what is the hors door?
	Oh, you've seen the odor?
	Or d'our?
	Or d'our?
	Yes.
	It hit me, dude.
	Ah, fuck.
	And my knees shook a little.
	But do you think it was like just bad tasting or it was bad?
	Like you're going to be able to.
	I couldn't tell.
	I couldn't tell, dude.
	But I had one more bite because I was like, I was, I was like, dude, I was treating myself to something, you know?
	Yeah.
	I hadn't really eaten all day and I was coming home and I was like, I'm going to treat myself to something tonight.
	I'm going to order a steak because I still have to work.
	I was going to try to go somewhere to eat, but it was getting, it was so late.
	Yeah.
	And I was like, and they sent it and I was like, oh.
	Oh, no, you can't.
	It made me fucking when you do that kind of shit.
	Like you turn into your own chiropractor and shit.
	See, I wouldn't get upset.
	Like once it was bad, I have no problem switching foods.
	Like I would go right to peanut butter and jelly and I would make a massive sandwich.
	Now those are good.
	I guess they're as good when you're a kid, but I just quit eating them years ago.
	What?
	Peanut burn jelly.
	Why?
	You still eat them?
	Yes, I do.
	Yes, I do.
	What is your ratio of peanut butter to jelly?
	Oh, I used to think, oh, I think I go thick on both.
	And I'll put, if I'm really going to have one, I haven't had one in years, but I would put butter on the jelly side as well.
	Butter, jelly, and then the other bread has peanut butter on it.
	My grandmother used to do that.
	Toast?
	Or no?
	No.
	Some of my mom used to grill them with bananas in them, though.
	That's insane.
	I'm stuck on butter right now.
	Like my mind is going like a beautiful mind right now.
	It's seeing all the equations of like why I didn't do it.
	But I got to tell you, first of all, I go much thicker peanut butter.
	Like I thick it up.
	Oh, really?
	It's a lot.
	Yeah.
	Just choke a little.
	Yeah, that's fine.
	I get it down.
	And then it's worth it, though.
	And I get a little jelly in there just to get that sweet going, but it's a big one.
	And I'll do toast sometimes, but if you do too hot of a toast, I know this is a little bit too much information, but then you get the wet peanut.
	Like it melts and it comes right out, squeezes out the side.
	How do you feel when peanut butter started doing that thing a few years ago where it was like they put just two parts of peanut butter into a jar?
	It is like the oil and the part they.
	No, I can't stand that.
	That's insane.
	Yeah, I can't stand that.
	What is that?
	I don't, I don't like, I don't want to do the skippy.
	Yeah, there you go.
	That's the drip.
	There you go.
	That drip is good, but if it's, if it goes out of the sandwich, it's usually.
	You lose it.
	You lose it.
	It's like that could have been in me.
	Yeah.
	God.
	Yeah, I can't.
	I don't stop like that.
	I don't like that at all.
	I do miss those kid foods.
	Why did you stop?
	I mean, when you say kid foods, I forgot about it.
	They're foods.
	They don't.
	I mean, macaroni and cheese with the craft, like with the powder, it never stops.
	When do you go?
	At what age is it appropriate to go, I'm not eating the powdered cheese?
	Something happened to me, I guess.
	I just, I don't know.
	I just, I just started.
	I, you know what?
	I just like working so much.
	I just don't think about food that much.
	But maybe this will start, you know?
	Maybe I'll start falling in love with some new things, you know?
	I would like to go the other way.
	I would love to be like that.
	I wish I had that where I wasn't thinking about it so much.
	What's going to be the toughest part for you with the with this coming up change?
	I know you got to get out of here and feel like literally the toughest part.
	It's just going to be the food.
	It is.
	It's going to be cutting that out.
	But once I get into a groove, it's routine, routine and discipline, man.
	That's all it ever is, right?
	So if you do it a little bit and you do it enough, and you know, you don't need a perfect every day, but that's the other thing, too.
	I let the perfect be the enemy of the good, which means if I'm not perfect that day, I go screw it.
	And I eat like crazy that night and I blow it.
	And I, you know, if I get a flat tire, Wyden always says, you always, you know, if you get one flat, you, you just pop the other three tires.
	Like, you know, it's like you don't, you don't just fix that one.
	I do.
	Like, so if I go off my diet a little bit, I go out that night.
	I'm eating, drink, and having a blast.
Stepson's Blindness Admiration 00:03:37
	And I'm like, I'll start tomorrow because it's a fresh start that I'm looking for.
	Oh, I love that start fresh because I've always been that guy.
	I've always been the guy to never do the homework.
	You know, but when I should, it's Monday morning.
	I get it done.
	And then I got it.
	It's like in, and it's like, because I can do it.
	That's the same.
	Dude, yeah, I was always the guy.
	I wrote every answer on my finger.
	I get one there.
	Yes.
	Yes.
	Like that.
	Little bitty words on there.
	Yeah.
	Cheating.
	Well, dude, thanks so much for Solomio, man.
	Thanks for all the entertainment of the year.
	Sorry, I was a little bit tired today.
	No, I'm sorry.
	I was a little weak too.
	And I said a lot of things that I rambled for a while that if you want to cut out, you can cut out because I was a little bouncy.
	Dude, I, yeah, I don't know.
	I just felt like I didn't have a lot of gasoline in me today, but sometimes that's the day, man.
	Yeah.
	You know, it was great.
	You were great.
	But I'm grateful that we got to spend some time together, man.
	I really am.
	And thanks for all the entertainment over the years.
	And Salomeo.
	Salomeo, right?
	Salamio.
	Salamio.
	But thanks.
	It's Salamio.
	I gotta remember that.
	Thank you for Solomio.
	Yes.
	Okay.
	That's even.
	And there's a musical ensemble.
	You wouldn't even imagine that this happens in this movie.
	That's great.
	Yeah.
	And that guy's blind.
	Do you know it?
	Yeah.
	I didn't know.
	Finally, I'm looking at, I'm looking at him.
	I'm like, this guy's fucking nonchalant, you know, about everything.
	And then I'm like, oh, this guy's fucking blind or whatever.
	My friend's blind.
	You have a friend that's blind?
	Yeah.
	How blind?
	Like completely?
	Nothing.
	It's all.
	But has he always been that way?
	Yeah.
	He's always been blind since he was.
	Yeah.
	He could maybe have vision when he was very young, but he's always been blind.
	Wow.
	As far as long as I've known him, he's been blind.
	I thought it was amazing.
	Anytime I met somebody with like a deficiency, I always admired it so much in some way.
	My sister lost her sight.
	But she, you know, she was born with sight.
	She was fine.
	And now, you know, she's got retinitis pigmentosa where it's like, it goes away.
	And it's, it's, and I'm wondering if it's like more difficult to have seen or to never have, you know, and just no, it's just, yeah, my heart goes out to all of them.
	We had a blind girl in here one time and she was talking about how she like learns things.
	Like it's almost like a video game.
	It's like that's how she kind of remembers things and where to go and different like, and so like she can slowly build like spaces to like walk in and things like that.
	She said, um, and then she said the worst animal that she's, she's like petted all kinds of animals except a snake doesn't give any energy back to the blind.
	That's what she said.
	Yeah, it doesn't give any back to the seeing either.
	Yeah.
	That's what I said.
	Right?
	Yeah, 100%.
	Tanja.
	Yeah.
	Right there.
	Long person.
	Wow.
	That's really, that's cool, man.
	You can feel that.
	She's awesome.
	I got to check back in with her.
	But yeah, guys, go see Solo Mio.
	You'll enjoy it.
	Take your lady.
	Yeah.
	Take your man.
	Take whoever you got.
	Take your son.
	Take your stepson.
	That's who needs to.
	Yes.
	Take your step.
	Take your stepson.
	Take your freaking stepson.
	Take your steps.
	You've never taken that kid in.
	That's all I want.
	Stepsons in free.
	We should do a whole thing, right?
	Yeah.
	Right?
	Stepsons get in free.
	I wonder if Angela could work that out.
	And blinds get in free.
	Sure.
	Absolutely.
	Let's do it.
	I appreciate you, man.
	Yeah, you too, man.
	Thank you so much.
	Now I'm just floating on the breeze, and I feel I'm falling like these leaves.
	I must be cornerstone.
	Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind I found.
	I can feel it in my bones.

Chapters

00:00:00 Lock Wolves Kiss Us
00:04:04 Prime Rib Mystery
00:07:39 Salamio Thought Dot
00:23:14 Why Choose Cheap Furniture?
00:26:17 Why We Choose Sushi
00:41:37 Dreams and Divided Attention
00:51:17 Rich Franklin's Knockout
00:55:57 Wherever You Want
01:08:16 Struggling to Be Cool
01:23:32 Stuck On Butter
01:28:06 Stepson's Blindness Admiration