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Jan. 30, 2024 - This Past Weekend - Theo Von

02:16:05

E480 Tim Dillon

Tim Dillon is a stand-up comedian and host of the popular podcast “The Tim Dillon Show”. You can see him live on his “American Royalty Tour” happening now across the country. Tim Dillon returns with a bang, chatting with Theo Von about the Doordasher vs. homeless crisis, squatting in million dollar houses, why Tim wants to run for Governor of California, who they think could actually handle being president, where Tim wants to spread his mom’s ashes, and a conspiracy involving Whitney Cummings and Indian acting sensation Deep Roy. Tim Dillon: https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/ ------------------------------------------------ Tour Dates! https://theovon.com/tour New Merch: https://www.theovonstore.com ------------------------------------------------- Sponsored By: Celsius: Go to the Celsius Amazon store to check out all of their flavors. #CELSIUSBrandPartner #CELSIUSLiveFit https://amzn.to/3HbAtPJ Prize Picks: Prize Picks: Download the Prize Picks app and use CODE: THEO. Prize Picks will match your deposit up to $100. BetterHelp: This show is sponsored by BetterHelp - go to http://betterhelp.com/theo to get 10% off your first month. Tommy John: Go to http://tommyjohn.com/theo to get 20% off your first order. Factor: Go to http://factormeals.com/theo50 and use code theo50 to get 50% off. Manscaped: Go to http://manscaped.com and use code THEO for 20% off and free shipping! ------------------------------------------------- Music: "Shine" by Bishop Gunn https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3A_coTcUek ------------------------------------------------ Submit your funny videos, TikToks, questions and topics you'd like to hear on the podcast to: tpwproducer@gmail.com Hit the Hotline: 985-664-9503 Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: https://www.theovon.com/fan-upload Send mail to: This Past Weekend 1906 Glen Echo Rd PO Box #159359 Nashville, TN 37215 ------------------------------------------------ Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheoVonClips Shorts Channel: https://bit.ly/3ClUj8z ------------------------------------------------ Producer: Zach https://www.instagram.com/zachdpowers Producer: Nick https://www.instagram.com/realnickdavis/ Producer: Colin https://instagram.com/colin_reiner Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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	I've got some remaining tour dates to tell you about.
	Tickets are currently remaining in State College, PA, February 7th, Amherst, Massachusetts, February 9th, Brisbane in the Australia, on March 1. Sydney in the Australia on March 10th.
	Jackson, Mississippi, March 26th.
	New Orleans, Louisiana, March 29th and 30th, right there before Easter.
	Atlanta, Georgia, on April 4th.
	Get all your tickets at theovon.com slash T-O-U-R.
	Today's guest is one of the funniest people I think that's ever lived.
	And it's a wild thing to say because I'm only just known this period of time, but I'd go on to throw him on in there, probably in the top 400.
	He is on his American royalty tour right now.
	He has his own show, The Tim Dylan Show.
	It's a podcast.
	You can find it every week.
	I'm just so grateful to get to yap it up with this guy.
	Man, he makes me laugh.
	Today's guest is my friend, Mr. Tim Dillon.
	Shine that light on me I'll sit and tell you my stories Shine on me And I will find a song I've been singing I'm gonna stay I'll be moving away to the same
	time of the witch I don't know.
	Sometimes I like.
	I just started doing it because, like, can we see Tim's shot just so we have his idea of it?
	So we can.
	If you can derad my face somehow, that would be amazing.
	I know that these things are hard to do.
	Did you get a procedure done or something?
	No, no.
	It's just, I just have like, I have like a breakout today.
	Some days you just wake up and you have like a breakout.
	But if you have any of the technology that James Cameron used in Avatar.
	To der your face a little?
	To just derad my nose.
	Yeah, we'll take something off of you.
	Any of the...
	We do like plastic surgery.
	There's got to be some AI.
	We just got scalpel.
	I think that...
	technology should get to a point where like literally when someone sees you they should go, who are you?
	Yeah, I agree, man.
	The fact that we have to show up as ourselves.
	Oh, it's insane.
	And that's why the metaverse is going to slap, as the kids would say.
	Dude, the simple fact that a one-legged person has to actually present themselves.
	It's insane.
	They should just, yeah, because you know online they have two legs.
	It's like, hey, how humiliating do you want this existence to be?
	Now I see why people are like Jacob Alorty 2006 on their handle, but they won't come to the door to get their door dashed.
	No, because God only knows.
	I'll tell you this, man.
	Those door dash people see some shit.
	First of all, lest we forget, the people that have had to go to people's homes, brother, they have to go into the trenches.
	Sometimes they get killed.
	Sometimes people kill them.
	Sometimes you have a burrito in your car and you're driving it to someone's house.
	And that is going to be the last thing you do on this earth.
	The last thing you do is walk a soggy burrito to a guy's house.
	And instead of just taking the burrito and saying thank you, he goes, I'm going to kill you now.
	And then they kill you.
	They say, welcome to Memphis.
	Welcome to Memphis.
	And the crazy thing is a lot of the people inside who know they're going to kill you.
	Yeah.
	As you're walking up, murders have gotten so advanced with like ambiance and production that they will even play There Goes My Hero from like a yard plant speakers hidden in yard plants as you're about to go.
	And you're laying there and you're bleeding out and one of the last thoughts you have is this song is great.
	This is a great song.
	And I'm sad I won't be able to hear it anymore.
	It's the last thing I'm hearing.
	And then you see that burrito as you're bleeding out.
	You just look at it and just that burrito.
	It's a tough gig.
	A hand just comes in a frame and gigs it.
	Yeah.
	It's a tough gig.
	The gig economy is tough.
	Well, you know, I've talked about this before.
	It's they want us to all just be gig people who are doing gigs.
	Oh, they want us to be, it will eventually be the lords.
	Right.
	And then everybody else will just be driving around, like literally holding, we'll all be Uber drivers.
	Right.
	And we'll be holding each other at gunpoint to be passengers.
	Like be my passenger now.
	Sit in the back seat, subscribe to my daughter's OnlyFans while you're back there.
	Right.
	She's in the front seat with a light on her.
	Yeah.
	No, it's going to get to a point where there's going to be, I think, communities where no one leaves, like really wealthy communities.
	And then people are just going to get so rich.
	These houses are getting so big.
	Everything they want is going to be in their house.
	Like they're going to have the Whole Foods in the house.
	It'll be a tinier Whole Foods, but it'll be in their house.
	They go, I just have a grocery store in my home.
	I have everything I need in my home.
	We have a little doctor's office.
	They're going to get to a point where you go to the doctor and they just take an elevator down in their house.
	To an urgent care.
	There's an urgent care.
	There's a nurse sitting there and the nurse is going to hand you the paperwork and you're going to go, bitch, you're in my house.
	You know what I mean?
	And then she's going to go, yeah, but it's like still one of those things we have to fill out.
	And you go, all right, so you're filling out paperwork in your own house to get your ball looked at.
	And that's how rich, that's the level of rich where you're never going to have to leave.
	Never.
	Never going to have to leave.
	And why should you have to leave?
	And I think then every now and then you gamble online by ordering DoorDash just to see someone come up from the depths, from the lower, from somebody climb out of a wishing well.
	Occasionally you'll go to an airport.
	That'll be the thing, like occasionally, you'll go to an airport and you'll go, God, she, and you're going to see these like people around you, and they will have their pillows around their neck, and they're drinking like smoothies and stuff, and some of them are asleep on the floor.
	And you're going to go, oh, yeah, that's what life is for most of these people that don't have a doctor's office in their house.
	Yeah, it's definitely getting alarming, man.
	People are sleeping.
	They had a family they found was sleeping in a wishing well.
	They had basically commandeered a wishing well somewhere.
	Yeah.
	And a guy had built a two-bedroom with shovels.
	Right.
	Had two bedroomed out a wishing well and it was raising his children in it.
	Well, it's like all the Disney stories that we grew up with are now very disturbing.
	You know, like this idea of like when you look back at all these stories, things like that, like living in a well, living in a wishing well.
	If you had read that story when you were like 10, you'd be like, that's the shit.
	Yeah, it's beautiful.
	Like that's a beautiful moment that that family gets to live in that well and wish every day.
	Yeah.
	And then you realize now it's just a place people throw cigarettes into.
	It's a real horrible place, you know?
	You're just getting cigarettes and like recyclables, people just recycle old furniture.
	The homeless guy yells into it every night when you're trying to sleep, just undecipherable yelling for 20 minutes.
	People destroying used clothing, destroying old lacoste shirts down there.
	So it's not like the, you think it's like a family with a little lantern and it's like tonight it's time to wish, but it's not that.
	It's homeless people screaming.
	If you come up, I'm going to get, you know, it's tough.
	Well, also, people don't want to talk about the real turf war that's going on, Ted.
	And that is between DoorDashers and the homeless.
	Well, because if you're homeless, if I see a DoorDasher, I'm seeing an opportunity.
	That's all it is.
	That's all it is.
	By the way, DoorDashers now, they don't let it be known they're a DoorDasher.
	They are stealth.
	Like food delivery people are stealth.
	They'll dress up like postal workers.
	Yeah.
	Vampires.
	I'm saying vampires.
	You don't even know who they are.
	They're in a costume.
	They're in a truck.
	I see somebody just wandering like sometimes they have their friend with them as a lookout.
	Have you seen that?
	There'll literally be a guy in the front seat of the car and then his chick will be just kind of looking out, just making sure like nobody comes and kills him.
	How crazy that DoorDashers are.
	Yeah, it's crazy.
	Yeah, I mean, and they are also carrying messages.
	Here's the thing.
	I don't feel bad for any of them because I don't know anyone who does it.
	And I do believe anybody who's doing DoorDash is like, you know, in India, they have a cast of people called the Untouchables.
	Do they really?
	Yes.
	You just can't fuck with them.
	You can't go near them.
	You see them and you look away.
	That is kind of.
	Don't take offense to this.
	But it is when I encounter a food delivery person in the wild, I look away.
	No, I will look away.
	Damn.
	You don't feel like you're one of them?
	A food delivery person?
	No.
	there's so many other jobs.
	I just feel like if you're delivering DoorDash, I just inherently...
	I love them as a person.
	They're a child of God.
	But they're in so much pain.
	A lot of times you can see they're in pain.
	I can't see it.
	Really?
	They're just listening to Scott Stap usually.
	I don't think they're.
	I think some of them are in pain.
	They're just, it's tough.
	It's a hard.
	I just, it's hard for me to see and look at.
	It's just hard for me to look at.
	Well, we make them, the saddest part is we make them drive too.
	It's like, well, yeah.
	They're a victim to gas prices.
	At least in other countries, DoorDashers will be on motorcycles or they'll just be throwing the foods to someone who's further down the street.
	It's actually cool.
	Yeah.
	Because many of them are Asian and they're on a tiny little bike and it's fun.
	Yeah.
	And they're having a great time and they're actually seeing how fast they like seeing how fast they can get it to you.
	Oh, there's a dark web that they are all on, the way they get points in their little.
	Oh, and they like seeing how, and many of them are risking their life with ramen on their back to get it to you.
	They're risking their life so that an NYU student can eat that ramen piping hot.
	You're getting it so hot.
	But in LA, maybe I should clarify my statement.
	It's only DoorDashers in L.A. Of course.
	Because they're all people that want to be like actors or screenwriters.
	They're lazy.
	The food's cold.
	You barely get it.
	That's my issue here.
	It's not, I don't want to malign all the food delivery people.
	In Los Angeles, I've noticed a problem.
	Sometimes they'll just steal the food.
	Yeah, that's another thing.
	Yeah, some of them are just looking to get a meal because you can apply online.
	You can be working for DoorDash in six minutes or less.
	That's one of their big things.
	In six minutes.
	That's not a good idea.
	Yeah, it's a horrible idea.
	That's a horrible idea.
	Become a DoorDash delivery guy.
	In six minutes?
	Yeah, you can be a DoorDash delivery guy in six minutes, or in a very small amount of time.
	I'm not sure what it is.
	And they call you an independent contractor.
	But yeah, next thing you know, you can have a food in 40 minutes.
	You can be picking up food from somewhere that you can just eat.
	Yeah, I mean, I've had some issues with them.
	Have you?
	Well, I actually, DoorDash now, I think it's pretty good.
	It's the one that I use.
	What?
	I thought you just said all this shit.
	Well, no, they are.
	They're bad, but they're all bad.
	Like Postmates is, they're all different kinds of bad.
	Yeah.
	Postmates is bad.
	Uber Eats, I just feel like it's a monopoly.
	I don't want to be involved.
	Uber Eats is disgusting.
	I don't want to be involved with people that are double dipping.
	Yeah, I agree.
	You know, it's sick.
	But to me, it's like DoorDash, even though it's evil, it's the lesser of all the evils.
	Yeah.
	Or you could leave your house, but that's terrifying to go and like the process of getting crazy.
	And to go eat.
	Well, like David Spade still eats at McDonald's.
	You know, he's basically, he's like the Ulysses S. Grant of our time.
	I feel like he goes.
	Yes.
	He's on the front lines.
	He is Ulysses S. Grant.
	He will go sit there.
	Yeah.
	Dine.
	He'll battle.
	He has an amazing story about battling a homeless guy for a series of nuggets that he had.
	Right.
	Well, that's probably what keeps a guy like that who's so successful and so beloved.
	It's what keeps him grounded.
	Yeah.
	Like once a week, he goes, I've had this legendary career, but he's like, once a week, let me go and get him a griddle and see if I can make it out.
	And if he can make it out with him a griddle, he's like, all right.
	It's just, we all need a little friction in our life.
	Like, this is for you, Farley.
	Yeah, this is for you.
	And he goes in, you know, it's just, he's like, Adam Sandler's on a spaceship somewhere, you know, writing movies from a space station.
	And David Spade's like, let me just go into the La Cienega McDonald's and just see if I can get out today with a McFlurry.
	Get into my car.
	Dude, there's a, yeah, I, there's a promoter, this guy who's a promoter, promoted a bunch of like Midwestern tour dates.
	He'd double book features and stuff.
	He'd show up.
	You'd drive through the snow to Penguins in like Midland, Iowa or something.
	You'd get there.
	He'd have booked four other fucking features, you know, and it would be closed.
	It was just fucking a nightmare.
	Oh, it was unbelievable.
	And he would always trade tickets for everything.
	You'd go to eat with him.
	He'd like, let's go to lunch.
	And then he would try to pay with tickets and you'd feel so fucking embarrassed.
	You're like, I can afford.
	Then you'd end up having to pay for him a lot of times.
	This guy was just like.
	Tickets at the carnival?
	Like tickets to the comedy show.
	Because he was also a feature opener.
	Gotcha.
	He did 10 minutes about being just, he did 10 minutes up top.
	But one time he had two milkshakes, right?
	And a couple of, he, they had a couple sisters that were fighting each other near a Honda Civic.
	Okay.
	Right.
	Which is, that's most of the Midwest, right?
	That's probably a lot of it.
	It's the whole state of Missouri.
	So Honda Civic with two sisters, maybe hefty.
	I mean, definitely, like, you wouldn't put more than three of them in a, in a Camry, probably.
	Probably get tight.
	But they were, they were talking shit outside in a parking lot.
	Right.
	So he's like, I'm going to be a good Samaritan.
	I'm going to walk over there with two milkshakes.
	Right.
	Because I think in some cultures, if you milkshake a sister, it's like, it's just like, it goes a long way.
	Yeah.
	So he gets over there and they did not want anything to do with him.
	And they literally started beating them.
	They lit him up for that?
	Dude, that's fucked up.
	They lit him up for just coming with milkshakes.
	And he was such a, he'd never let go of the shakes.
	Right.
	So this guy took all the abuse down on his knees and he still has a shakes.
	Like Christ on the cross with a shake on each.
	Yeah.
	Gary, that was his name, too.
	And we can take his name out if we want, but that's who he was, man.
	He was, yeah, he'd invite, you'd go to a show in the middle of Lake of the Ozark one time.
	It was nowhere.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	It's the guys.
	Yeah.
	It was a couple dudes at a fucking water fountain, you know?
	I used to do shows with this guy.
	He was a pre, like a preacher, and he was an ex-recovering addict.
	Oh, of course.
	And he had one hand and like one arm.
	Like he, he had a fake arm.
	But this was before like there were good prosthetics, you know?
	So it was like a, I'm not even kidding, kind of like a Halloween arm.
	Oh, yeah.
	You can get the Nixon arm or something.
	It only had one, and it was like the coach arm.
	Like he was giving this baby.
	So it was always just like this.
	No matter what was going on, he'd be like talking.
	And then you just had this, like a Halloween arm.
	It wasn't good.
	And he would leave it on the sink in the bathroom.
	And you would just walk into the green room and you'd be taking a pass.
	There'd be an arm.
	Yeah.
	Just an arm.
	And then he'd like fasten on it.
	One of his bits is he just took it off and the crowd would go nuts.
	And then he'd like put it back on.
	It was a dark time in the beginning of comedy, you know?
	And then he would tell people he like, he would go, I'm a veteran.
	He didn't lose his arm in any type of veteran activity.
	Yeah.
	But he would say, I'm a veteran.
	And they would be like, oh, thank you for your service.
	But he never went.
	He just, I mean, he served, but he never served an active.
	But he had like a fake arm.
	And then he would get on airplanes and he'd go, I should sit in first class.
	I'm a veteran.
	And then the woman would go, yeah, but that's not how it works.
	We're sorry, you have an economy ticket.
	And he'd go, I'm a veteran.
	I serve this country.
	And he would, with the hand, he'd be like, I serve this country.
	And she's like, you have to go to economy, sir.
	And then sometimes like part of the plane would side with him.
	Like they'd look at her.
	They'd be like, you're disgusting.
	But he was just an ex-crackhead who lost his arm because he was on crack and got in like a horrible accident in his car.
	Yeah, there's not enough differentia these days amongst the PTSD community.
	I've said it a lot.
	I don't want to hear that word unless you're in a war.
	Yeah.
	I don't want to hear about PTSD.
	I don't want to hear that you're taking, I don't, you don't need to take ayahuasca all the time.
	Like a lot of these people now just take ayahuasca.
	I just came from a ceremony.
	Yeah, but I mean, it's okay every now and then, but people are like overboard.
	Oh, people are doing it too much.
	It's overboard.
	It's like the Incans did not come up with ayahuasca so you could try to figure out how to get a Range Rover.
	There's no way that that was the intended purpose of ayahuasca.
	It's a religious, they used to give it to kids before they sacrificed them and killed them.
	And if your shaman is named Jennifer and she lives in Studio City, it's not a shaman.
	You can't follow around a white bitch in Santa Fe, New Mexico.
	You're just a junkie at that pay.
	You're a junkie.
	If you're throwing up into a bucket in Santa Fe, New Mexico with a white bitch named Jennifer, you can't do ketamine every week.
	There's people showing up.
	You're going into the valley in L.A. They're sitting in a lazy boy.
	Somebody who's not even a nurse, but who's dressed in the scrubs.
	You don't even know who a nurse is anymore because they're just dressed in those scrubs.
	But that's somebody that was door dashing a week ago.
	And now they're injecting you with ketamine and you're laying in a chair just high.
	You're a drug addict.
	It's not, they go, people go, I do it.
	I do ketamine under the care of a doctor.
	Yeah.
	That's not a doctor.
	That's not a doctor.
	Yes.
	Somebody that's watching Amazon Prime on their phone or listening to the Saltburn soundtrack while you're sitting there geeked out in a lazy boy.
	In a lazy boy?
	And then they're like, hey, did that help with your PTSD?
	They're like, what war were you in?
	You go, no, I wasn't in any war.
	I just, you know, I had a stressful career as a gymnast.
	I never made it to the Olympic trials, but like, my parents were real hard on me as a gymnast.
	So I got to come in here and get high once a week.
	Yeah, we were forced to wear tight turtlenecks at our private school.
	It was real tough, you know?
	I sprained a hamstring once.
	My family was like, all right, well, your life's over.
	So now I got to get high in a strip mall once a week.
	It's like, this may be not good.
	R.I.P., Matthew Perry, sorry.
	Yeah, R.I.P.
	man.
	And it's just where we are.
	It really is, man.
	It's like we're at the point where people are going to be holding each other at gunpoint to subscribe to the OnlyFans or to get in the Uber.
	Technology will be the new drugs.
	I think as technology gets better, it will take the place of drugs.
	So when the metaverse gets so crazy that you can throw the goggles on, you're going to go, I don't need ayahuasca.
	Yeah.
	Because I'm in the thing.
	You've created a digital world that I can live in.
	I don't need ketamine.
	I'm whoever I want to be in the digital world.
	Like we were talking before the show started.
	Somebody with one leg in the digital world has two legs and is running through a park.
	And is running through a park and is running for office.
	And is running for office in San Francisco.
	And it's just no homeless there in the digital world.
	It's just beautiful.
	It's just the painted ladies, those houses from the Full House?
	Full house.
	You're just running through that park.
	There's no heroin addicts nothing.
	It's just you and your dog running through the park.
	But in real life, you're a one-legged person living in a horrible situation.
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	Tim Dylan, good to see you, man.
	Thanks for having me.
	Dude, we haven't seen each other in a while.
	We haven't seen each other in a while.
	You're killing it.
	You're all over the place.
	I see you.
	I see you.
	I'm like, this is amazing.
	You're the funniest guy.
	People love you so much.
	That's very sweet of you to say.
	Did you ever like, what was I going to ask you?
	I just got back from, I just saw the Lahina fires, man.
	Ooh.
	I just got back from there.
	I like a good fire.
	Yeah.
	You know?
	That was.
	Now, here's the thing.
	I don't want anyone to die or anyone to be hurt.
	This wouldn't be your space.
	And I don't want anyone to lose their property.
	Right.
	But I just like a nice crisp.
	I like a control burn.
	Oh, yeah.
	I like a control burn.
	I think you go in there, you do a control burn.
	Everybody goes to the hilltop, kind of watch it.
	And then...
	And then you go down and rebuild.
	You need to do that to thin out the forest.
	Otherwise, if they get overgrown, this is what happens.
	Yeah.
	I wanted to go scatter my mother's ashes in Hawaii because she died and she loved Hawaii.
	Did she really?
	Yeah, but it was a week after that.
	I thought it would be in poor taste to come in with the urn.
	You know what I mean?
	Oh, yeah, you can't bring sand to the beach.
	I just don't want to.
	And I come in with the urn and I'm just with ashes, just kind of, just kind of flinging them at people.
	Or the urns, as some black people call it.
	Which is crazy.
	Yeah, that's not what I'm doing.
	I didn't want to do it, but my mother did love Hawaii.
	But I was like, you know what?
	She won't know the difference if I go down to Florida.
	Just kind of.
	You know what I mean?
	Oh, yeah.
	The ocean's the ocean.
	Well, she won't know the difference if you get one of those little Japanese sand gardens.
	That's right.
	And just dump her in the middle.
	That's what we're going to do.
	I'm actually just going to throw an East River in New York.
	Water's water.
	Water eventually finds other water.
	I think that East River will eventually find Hawaii.
	I think that's the way water works.
	It has to be.
	Look, just throw her in the Hudson.
	Bobby Kennedy Jr. will clean it up.
	They'll figure it out.
	Him and his wife will figure it out.
	I love them.
	They're a fun couple.
	I just went to his 70th birthday.
	They are amazing.
	She's amazing.
	Two nights because she's so funny.
	The best thing about being around them is when she's around two, there's this whole level of like comedy that's around it all.
	Yes.
	It's a fun sitcom where she's like a fun, bubbly, sunny person, and the CIA killed his whole family.
	And it's just Like a fun, and it's like hilarity ensues, you know what I mean?
	And he's like looking for bombs in a car, and she's playing tennis.
	It's a fun mix, they're an odd couple.
	Come and knock on our door.
	Come and knock on our door.
	This could be our last day because they've killed all of his dad, his uncle.
	And people are like, Why is this guy so skeptical about stuff?
	Are you out of your mind?
	No, it's crazy.
	People are like, why doesn't he trust the government to inject us with the right chemicals?
	It's like they killed, it probably got so non-eventful that they would just open his door when he was a kid and go, they just killed someone else.
	And he dumb, whatever.
	Did he even get upset?
	After the third or the fourth one, it was probably like, yeah, we get it.
	Yeah, after that, you got to be able to just bet on who it's going to happen to on prize.
	Yeah, and they would just come to him and be like, hey, so your nephew just flew into a mountain, we think.
	We don't even know.
	We think your cousin was eaten by a shark, but while she was skiing, like they didn't even make sense.
	They're like, she was eaten by a shark on the slopes.
	And he'd have to just take it.
	He'd have to go, yeah, man, that's what happens when sharks get in the mountains.
	It's fucked up.
	Yeah, she fell through a pothole in her imagination.
	Yeah, none of it made sense.
	They were like, there was one shooter who shot your father 18 times, but that shooter was blind.
	Yeah, he was blind.
	Blind man who shot your father in a hotel kitchen.
	This is so sad.
	It's crazy.
	Have you been to the place, the place where the shooting happened?
	I have not.
	Well, you would have to actually pull.
	It's crazy.
	You would have to lean out of a window.
	Oh, that.
	Yeah, JFK.
	I was at that.
	That is facing kind of the other way.
	You'd have to lean out of this window.
	You would have to have a friend hold your leg while you lean out of a window.
	Yeah.
	At some point in that, someone would go, man, this is not a good idea.
	We should do it another way.
	There's like this, there's no way this works.
	It was impossible to do.
	It was unbelievable.
	It was tough.
	But he's, for all that, he's like a remarkably well-adjusted guy.
	I agree.
	I feel like he is, I really feel like he's the best choice.
	Agreed.
	Ever.
	By the way, agreed.
	Yeah.
	As a human being that's going to, whether he's right or wrong about something, I would rather that someone cares and gives a fuck about whatever's going on.
	The guy cares that they're injecting trap, could be injecting trash into people.
	100%.
	And the whole thing is like, what I like about him is that he like, he's on, he doesn't care.
	Right.
	He has nothing to lose.
	They've taken everything from him.
	They've taken everything from him.
	He took it out to others going, this is my truth.
	Right.
	There would be a lot more money in it if he just went along with the rest of the thing.
	Yeah, if he just respond to an email from Chuck Schumer.
	Right.
	He could be like, like, he'd have a lot easier time if he just went along with everybody else.
	But that's what I think is so, yeah, I agree.
	It's just that he's not beholding to anybody.
	No.
	He's not beholding to anybody that's.
	He's going to do kind of what he wants.
	Do you think there's any path?
	Because I don't know if they'll let him on a lot of the ballots.
	Are they letting him?
	It's hard.
	I think that there's rules that keep him off certain ballots.
	They want him to pay for his own thing.
	It's crazy, though.
	It's crazy, but they're trying to like.
	Yeah, I mean, like, they're just trying to close ranks around Biden.
	They don't want.
	Yeah, they're really protecting Biden.
	A lot of these lawyers are.
	Because by the way, you know, Biden, it's gotten to a point where it's almost a little fun now for the people around him because it is like a weekend at Bernie's.
	It is kind of fun because he's like essentially just almost at death's door.
	And they're all now like, we're all in this together.
	Oh, he's like death dash.
	It's death dash.
	They're in it together now.
	So it's kind of like, we can't get out.
	It's kind of fun, like late nights, just propping them up, like playing with them like a puppet and going like, we're just going to put him out on the debate stage, like giving them good drugs, injecting them.
	Like the injections that Biden gets before the first debate, it will be nothing you've ever heard.
	Like teams of people.
	You ever seen a scene in E.T. where they put a tent around and they won't let anyone near it?
	Before Biden walks on that debate stage, there's going to be an ET like tent and just people in hazmat suits are going to go in and just start injecting him with things.
	And then he's just going to walk out like a regular person.
	And then you're going to go, oh, there's shit we have no idea about.
	Oh, he's going to have a dip in in his cheek of children's hair.
	He's going to just start boxing.
	Like he's going to come out.
	They're going to be like, they'll start like throwing hands.
	They'll be like, there are drugs we've never heard of.
	There's technology we've never heard of.
	There are drugs we've never heard of.
	Oh, they're going to be pumping.
	They're going to be playing T.I. They're going to be doing anything.
	They're going to be like, they'll have a Ouija board channeling corn pop from the fucking swimming pool.
	They're going to be, can you imagine like doing debate prep with him, how nervous they're going to be?
	They're going to be sitting there and they're going to be like, okay.
	And then they're going to call like the people and like the deep state and stuff.
	They're going to go, we got to really up the dose here.
	We're not, I mean, like he's not responding to the regular stimuli.
	He needs to really get in here with something like really intense because he just left the room.
	We just asked him a question.
	He just walked out of the room.
	He doesn't know where he is.
	So like we got to like play around with a cocktail of things to just get him to a point where he stands at the post.
	Put him on the AIDS meds.
	They're going to have him on everything you can be on.
	Dude, he is.
	The crazy thing is they're going to have it so.
	He's going to be on AIDS meds.
	They'll have him on everything.
	You know what I mean?
	Imagine the scripts will be practicing with him the week before.
	Oh my God.
	It'll just be monologues from famous movies.
	Oh my God.
	It's going to be things Tony Soprano said.
	They're like, if you forget, just give this speech that Tony Soprano gave to Anthony about World War II.
	If that's the closest you can get to this question, read this scene from the Sopranos where Tony talked about the importance of Italian Americans during World War II.
	It's going to be, dude, he's going to be reading monologues from the movie Hoosiers whenever Gene Hackman try to get Jimmy Shitwood To run the picket fence, it's going to be unbelievable.
	Unbelievable.
	By the way, that first debate, I will be watching just like there's nothing more entertaining than that.
	It's the Super Bowl for someone like me to just watch that go down.
	It's old versus orange, baby.
	It's old versus orange, and it's just they're both wild.
	Like, Trump's going to be just popping off because now Trump's also four years older.
	He doesn't even care anymore.
	And who's more likely to even say the N-word now?
	It's different.
	Both of them.
	Because one could just bubble out a fucking Biden or Trump could just fire one off that he earned back in the day.
	The presidential candidates said the N-word in the debate.
	Well, if they did at the same time, I think it's what we all want to hear.
	Yeah.
	If they just both said it at the exact same time, then it would just be a reset.
	Then the country, like at that point, if they, if Trump and Biden say the N-word at the same time in that debate, the Israelis and the Palestinians are just going to look at each other and start embracing.
	They'll hug because that's what we need, really.
	Oh, it's exactly what we need.
	The fact that, but if Bobby Kennedy Jr. was out there and got to debate either one of them, I think he would crush them.
	Bobby Kennedy Jr., I think, would absolutely wreak havoc in a debate.
	He should be out there.
	Why can't he debate?
	He's an independent candidate, right?
	They just, these big parties try to keep everybody out because people try to get in there.
	Like, you know what I mean?
	Like, people try to get in there.
	Like, people just, like, I think Ben Gleib was trying to run for president.
	So they just try to keep people out because it could get real wild.
	Yeah.
	You know, like the third-party candidates get kind of get wild.
	Oh, definitely.
	You know, like, you'd have a bunch of, you'd have like one of the real housewives.
	You'd have an OnlyFans model.
	Some OnlyFans model would get out there.
	Teresa Guidisi.
	Yeah, from the Real Housewives.
	She'd get out there.
	You know, so like you, you'd, you'd.
	Charleston White probably would be out there, hopefully.
	Right.
	This bitch out there.
	Jeepers, huh?
	Wow.
	It looks like the fucking, it literally reminds me of like the Muppets Went to fucking makeup.
	But that's the problem.
	Like, so that, like, here's the thing, like, as much as I don't think it's fair that they're keeping Bobby Kennedy out, they do need to keep certain people out.
	Right.
	Because it would just be a waste of time.
	Yeah, Ghalib ran in 2020.
	How did he do?
	I don't know.
	Yeah, how did he do?
	Did we do, was there a...
	It's such a brave thing to do.
	Is it?
	That's a good question.
	What does brave mean?
	I don't know.
	I think it's brave if you get to a certain level.
	But if most people don't know you did it, it's not that brave.
	Right.
	It's not, yeah.
	And it wasn't successful.
	When it becomes brave, like Bobby Kennedy is brave.
	I mean, every single person that he knows, the government says died from a headache.
	Yeah, and people are shocked.
	Like, hey, why is this guy curious about these government-mandated medications?
	They're like, this guy should just trust his government.
	What's wrong with him?
	He won't trust his government.
	By the way, your aunt died.
	She was struck by lightning eight times in her car.
	Anyway, moving on.
	So, you know, I don't know, man.
	I just, I'd like to maybe run for the governor of California, try to clean it up.
	Wow.
	Where would you start?
	We just had a homeless guy just threw a bird scooter through one of our producers, Girlfriend's Windows.
	I'm against that.
	Are you?
	So that's my first thing.
	No.
	I'm against it.
	It's getting crazy.
	Dude, there's a bunch of, and I told this story before, you know, some of the homeless or outdoorsmen or whatever, like new Native Americans, what some people are calling them.
	Yeah, that's interesting.
	How do the old Native Americans feel about that?
	Well, I don't think they should feel good about it, and I would love to see them rise up and attack.
	Yeah, I think that's probably, and just for YouTube, we want to be very careful.
	We're not calling for that.
	Right.
	I would like to see them rise up and challenge.
	Challenge in an American Ninja Warrior way.
	But my thing is, I think with California, you just got to get the wine people up north and like Napa Valley.
	You got to get them involved because I think that's like where the power lies in the wine community because it's a lot of like rich white drunks.
	And that's like where all that big power is up there.
	And I would just try to get them to just kind of like focus.
	Right.
	Merlove.
	Yeah.
	You got to take the wine because they're all just, that's a problem with this state is that they're all like, by 3 p.m., they're hammered.
	One Merlove.
	That could be your campaign.
	Right.
	One Merlove.
	By 3 p.m., all these people are just drunk.
	And you keep trying to explain to them, you're like, there's people throwing bird scooters.
	And they're like, get out of here.
	They're just hammered.
	And they're just drinking wine.
	They're eating cheese.
	And they're living in this beautiful area.
	And they're like, and you tell them all these stories.
	They go, a woman gave birth in an El Pollo loco.
	And they're going, get out of here.
	And they're just getting hammered.
	So I think we got to just focus them.
	Yeah, like, I think they definitely are, it's definitely the rich looking down, being like, oh, what are they up to today?
	They'll ask someone.
	That's right.
	They'll ask a DoorDasher, hey, what are people doing down there?
	Yeah, they'll go, what's going on?
	And then like halfway through the answer, they check out because they close the door.
	They go, wait a minute, what?
	They go, yeah, you know, Vaughn supermarket?
	There was a guy fucking the meat.
	And they go, get out of here, man.
	I can't handle this.
	I'm just trying to get drunk at 4 p.m.
	Come on, brother.
	Can you see how rich I am?
	I'm just trying to get drunk enough to look my son in the eye of a conversation.
	See, I'm trying to get drunk enough to breastfeed my own child.
	It's a problem with how rich people are here in California.
	It's too rich.
	Well, here's one of the problems.
	It's really true is people are so rich that they start to look at their time by the value of an hour.
	That's a great point.
	And they're like, if I spend six minutes talking to this DoorDash human, alleged human that God has said is human.
	That's right.
	Well, then that's $700 I'm losing.
	And so when you're like that level of rich, you can kind of just like, you shrug off an amazing amount of stuff.
	Like they go, how bad is it really?
	And then somebody go, they go, there's like 300,000 people on the street.
	And they go, is 300,000 a lot?
	Is that even, is that a lot?
	They go, because the world has like billions Of people.
	So we're talking about only 300,000 people without homes.
	On the street in India, that would just be a natural afternoon.
	Yeah, they're like, that's fine.
	They go, I don't think that's a problem.
	And now things are getting so bad if you try to tell a rich person how bad it's getting, like somebody who's really rich, they act like you're making something up.
	Like there was a guy last night, I was driving on Santa Monica in West Hollywood, West Hollywood, and he was just running, darting, because they dart across like the street.
	Well, it's risky for them.
	And they just dart across the street and he had a skateboard with no wheels.
	He just had the board.
	Oh, yeah.
	And I didn't understand what that was.
	And he just, and he had it.
	And then he just, in the middle of my car, just stopped and looked at me, like hit me.
	Wow.
	And I was just like, I don't want to.
	I'm not trying to hit, you know?
	It's people looking for accidents.
	It's people that were just like kind of like, I don't know what it was.
	He was like, a deer in headlights.
	I was God.
	And I just swerve around him.
	But it's like people just mentally aren't together and they need help.
	Someone needs to help them.
	People are missing their wheels.
	They don't have their wheels.
	And someone needs to like step in there and help and like go like, hey, man, what's going on?
	But the only people that they're encountering for any sort of guidance are DoorDash people.
	It's DoorDash.
	But here's the thing, DoorDash people.
	And by the way, earlier on, I said you weren't human beings.
	Bygones.
	Forget that.
	Yeah, that was crazy.
	Here's what I meant by that.
	We need you now more than ever.
	Amen.
	Because what you need to do is rise up.
	You are the therapist.
	You are the homeless people.
	If there's somebody that is homeless and is having a problem on the corner, you need to put the ramen down.
	Put the ramen down and go address the problem.
	What's going on, sir?
	I am a DoorDash professional.
	Yes.
	I'm a licensed food clinic.
	Delivery service professional.
	Can I assist that this person is going to be yelling and pointing at something that isn't there?
	Invisible, yeah.
	It's going to be pointing at something in this dimension you cannot see.
	So you're just going to have to like.
	Bear with them.
	Bear with them.
	It's not going to happen.
	First question, you go, are you on any medications right now?
	Have you taken any drugs?
	Yeah.
	You got to ask that in a non-threatening way.
	100%.
	Yeah.
	And then you need to.
	You will be equipped with markers and paper.
	You're going to need to get these people to draw a picture of what's happening.
	Yeah.
	A separate picture to calm them down of their ancestors.
	No, for sure.
	And here's the thing.
	We need to give the homeless people service animals, but service animals that are a little huskier that can take.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Because it could get, they need a lot of love.
	And some of the homeless people.
	So we need to go out there with like maybe pot-bellied, like pigs, wild hogs.
	I mean, something that can really, something that has a little girth to it.
	Animals that got disqualified from the iditter robot.
	Not cute puppies.
	Nothing.
	We need chows.
	We need Asian animals that can handle this.
	Kind of tough to slap them around.
	That'll be quiet and court.
	And court if they start to can fight it back.
	So that the homeless person learns to respect the idea.
	You need an animal that will be quiet and court.
	Yeah.
	You need an animal that lays down the law immediately with the homeless person and goes, I will be your emotional support thing, but if you touch me like that again, I'll kill you.
	I will choke you out and kill you.
	So sometimes those little kangaroo bears might be good.
	You know, Australia, the ones that are just ones that are in the trees and the things like that, where they just, you don't think of them as emotional support animals, but they have.
	But they know they can do it.
	They can do it, but they're also tough enough when the homeless person throws a fit.
	They're able to literally pull them down and lay on top of them.
	We need animals, gorillas.
	We need to give homeless people in LA Silverback Gorilla emotional support so that if they start going nuts outside of a Starbucks, and it's just, we should normalize this.
	Normalize seeing a gorilla sitting on a homeless guy outside of a Starbucks and you just nod at that gorilla like, thank you.
	I know exactly what you're doing.
	SBGs, they're called.
	Okay.
	They don't like to be referred to as their full name.
	But Silverback Gorillas, they need to be out there.
	Because here's the problem.
	For a long time, Starbucks and some of these other big overlords, as I like to call them now.
	The corporate overlords.
	Overlords, they hired like Down syndrome workers.
	Which is nice.
	Which is great.
	But it's not, they don't have the level of jiu-jitsu.
	No, they can't.
	A Down syndrome worker is in a nice, it's got to be a nice environment, like an upper middle class, nice.
	Like a vineyard vines.
	Like a vineyard vines environment.
	And because then it's all nice.
	Yeah.
	If somebody takes a little time, like I let, there's a Down syndrome coffee shop in Georgetown in Washington, D.C. And like the CIA people go in there and they're real nice to them.
	You know, they're like, good day, thank you.
	And then they go, you know, wherever they're doing, do horrible things maybe.
	But the Down syndrome people, they're really sweet.
	They're real sweet.
	But no, we do need some, because it can't be these social workers aren't equipped.
	They're not equipped anymore.
	And they don't want to do it.
	And they've also given up.
	A lot of them are just creating profiles, social profiles.
	A lot of social workers are also doing OnlyFans.
	So they get clients confused.
	You'll have a therapist log on to his Zoom and just start showing their butts.
	It's like, what?
	Because the last thing a homeless person wants to find out is like, can you imagine that?
	You're homeless.
	You got the big cape.
	And there's this guy in Trebeca where I spend some time sometimes has a big cape.
	Oh, I'm sure the government bought it for him.
	Yeah, he has like that big furry cape.
	And he's like...
	He's kind of like a Game of Thrones guy.
	He ends in the winter.
	He's kind of, it's not a bad look.
	It's kind of like statue.
	But then like, you know, he's always kind of rapping to himself.
	He's always got his headphones.
	He's kind of doing that back and forth.
	Yeah, exactly.
	And then his social worker comes over and like, hey, what's going on?
	And then if he's like, bitch, aren't you?
	And he points to her photo on OnlyFans.
	Immediately, she has no credibility.
	Yeah, aren't you chatty pussy 30?
	Right.
	You have no credibility.
	I'm watching you right now.
	Yeah.
	I'm watching you right now finger yourself.
	And then you come to me and you ask me what's wrong.
	I could ask you the same question.
	What is wrong?
	So that's where it's going to be.
	It's going to be homeless OnlyFans social workers chatting with DoorDash professionals.
	DoorDash clinical DoorDash psychiatric professionals.
	And then we need highly trained SPGs, highly trained silverback gorillas, so that they know when it is and isn't appropriate to step in and calm a homeless person down by sitting on them outside of a five guys.
	And that is our, that's not a bad idea.
	It's our campaign, but not a horrible idea.
	They had, what was, what is that, the coffee shop with the Down syndrome people?
	It's called Biddy and Bose, I believe.
	Somebody go there.
	It's really nice.
	And I like to go back and forth with them in a nice way.
	There we go.
	Biddy and Bose, yeah.
	Human rights movement disguised as a coffee shop.
	It's nice, man.
	I go in there and I go, what's good today?
	Yeah.
	Do you like this?
	And here's the thing, man.
	All Down syndrome people want to do is work for 11 to 12 hours a day.
	I know.
	They want to engage.
	They want to work.
	Well, they're also.
	And they want that human connection.
	Well, what's funny is they're more.
	And then there's people in there that don't have Down syndrome and they're very lazy.
	Oh, yeah.
	There's a lot of people in there.
	There's a lot of DSIs.
	It's like Down syndrome imposters.
	Yeah.
	Where there's people that will go in there literally, put freckles on, right?
	This makes me nervous because everybody has Down syndrome.
	Not everybody.
	Okay, there's a few others.
	It's almost like...
	Somebody needs to...
	It's like, where's Waldo, kind of?
	It is like, where's Waldo?
	But I think there are also lazy people who consider themselves lobbyists in D.C. I love how if you're out of work in D.C., you're a lobbyist.
	And they will go in and they will put freckles on and they will.
	How lazy do you have to be to be in a coffee shop and look at a Down syndrome person and go, can you get that?
	It's unbelievable.
	Like you're an employee and you go to somebody with Down syndrome and you go, by the way, I'm stepping out.
	I'm taking a break.
	What?
	I'm taking a break.
	You got this, right?
	All right.
	Like, it's got to be, you got to really check what your life's at.
	If you're going to somebody with Down syndrome and going, I got to take off tomorrow.
	I can't be here.
	Can you handle this?
	It's just where the fact that people are like, are we at the end of times?
	We are, we are, we have Down syndrome people are happy.
	They're working.
	Yeah.
	We, we can't even do that without crying online, taking dyeing our hair, taking one of our eyes out of our head.
	Some guy took his eye out of his head the other day for no reason.
	that's crazy.
	Well, it's just, it's like, When you're taking your eye out.
	Yeah.
	And you were like, what the?
	Because by the way, no one cares.
	It's one of those things you do and no one cares.
	You think it's going to have a big, you think it's going to be a big moment?
	Yeah.
	And it's nothing.
	I have two friends and their wives have, each of them has one eye.
	Oh, wow.
	Because one of them had a thing and another one had a thing.
	Oh, yeah.
	They just each don't have an eye.
	Everybody's perverted.
	Yeah.
	No one, no one, no one even, it's not even a big deal.
	Well, nobody cares anymore anymore.
	Nobody cares anymore.
	Unless you're willing to really take your fucking limbs off.
	That's right.
	You put them in your own ass.
	Yeah, you got to do something with those people.
	What just happened in the news?
	Wasn't there something were we looking at earlier, Nick?
	Oh, man arrested for faking heart attack in over 20 restaurants.
	I respect this.
	I respect this nowadays because at least this guy is even, it used to be this, you did a slip and fall in a Walmart or whatever.
	You got 25,000 and then you raised a son or whatever.
	But now, at least this guy, a 50-year-old from Lithuania, was recently arrested in Spain.
	At least he's willing to travel and see the world after allegedly faking heart attacks at several restaurants in order to avoid paying the bill.
	What's great about this to me is that this guy, you know, like is basically going out there and he knows one of them is going to be real.
	Yeah.
	Like he knows.
	Oh, he's playing.
	It's live by the sword, die by the sword.
	You know what I mean?
	Like the classic boy who cried wolf, like he goes, one of these days it's going to be real.
	But he's like, not today.
	Like he walks it off.
	There's only so many times you can try to teach your aortas to talk, and then finally they fucking yell.
	When you fake a heart attack, that's got to be a lot.
	But your heart's like, hey, what's going on?
	Maybe I should learn this.
	Right.
	So eventually it's just going to be a real one.
	But I love that this guy's willing to put in work.
	This is what you're going to have to do now to entertain the lords, the insurance lords.
	Yes.
	Yes.
	What did the guy do?
	He just, oh, he fucking broke his leg once on a bad pothole fuck with him.
	He's going to have to fake a lot of stuff.
	Yeah.
	This guy at least, yeah, he faked 20 heart attacks.
	Let's give him a couple thousand dollars, you know?
	And we only care about a heart attack.
	That's how heartless we are.
	You have to be incapacitated.
	You can't just go in and go, like, I don't have a lot of money.
	Yeah, I have hives or whatever.
	Nobody gives me.
	No one cares.
	I have shingles.
	Yeah, I was molested.
	Yeah.
	No one cares.
	Fucked.
	Can you imagine going into a place where I was molested and the waitress going, I was also molested.
	So what?
	Do you want the breadsticks?
	Because they're $8.
	They charge for bread.
	Go to a restaurant?
	They charge for bread and butter.
	They charge for bread and butter.
	Used to be able as a homeless person to go in, fake it out, get a little bread and butter in you, maybe get a soup in.
	Yeah, lie.
	They're like, oh, this came from home.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, this is at the house, you know, looking at the remote or something and lie.
	Times have changed.
	It is.
	It's interesting, man.
	What's going on in your world, I guess, dude?
	Well, I mean, you know, I'm just trying to, you know, trying to live out the dream of, you know, being grateful for being lucky enough to make people happy.
	Yeah.
	Hopefully.
	It almost feels.
	There's a lot to that where you got to kind of always remind yourself that you're doing a fun thing and a cool thing and you don't want to get caught up in any of the bullshit and the nonsense of it.
	Yeah.
	You know?
	Yeah, it's kind of hard to, well, it's not hard, but it's like it can, I can see how it can happen.
	You almost though see like so many like celebrities and like Hollywood is such a example of all of that.
	So I think as comedians these days, it seems like you have such a good example of like the avenues not to go down.
	Yeah, just try to keep your head about you and do and get excited about what you're doing.
	A lot of it becomes about like, how big can it be?
	Or how, is there your reps will call you go, there's money here.
	Yeah.
	There's money, you know, and then you just got to be like, but am I happy with like the things I'm actually doing?
	Yeah.
	Am I putting stuff out that's funny?
	So that's like the hard part.
	Again, who do you want, if there is somebody who really wanted to do like a television or film, you'd have to really want to do it because we're lucky enough to be able to go and perform.
	You have to really love it.
	There's something I really want to do.
	There's like one thing I've always wanted to do.
	And I don't know how I'll do it or who I'll do it with, but it's just that one thing.
	Like I don't have 10 things.
	And if I never get to do it, that's okay too, because I've been able to do a lot of other things.
	But there's just one idea.
	It could be a show.
	It could be a movie.
	It's just one thing I've always wanted to do.
	And I just want to do that.
	And then I'd be done.
	You'd be good with that.
	I'd be good with that.
	So that might happen or it may not happen.
	And I'd also be good with it not happening because I think at a certain point, you got to give it to God and go, if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	I think like David Spade and I wrote that film that maybe you would be in.
	I loved it.
	That was super cool.
	So that would be cool.
	Getting to do something with Druski, I think would be neat.
	Amazing.
	He's so funny.
	But yeah, outside of that, I don't know if I have much ambition.
	It would have to be something you really loved and you wanted to do it.
	Yeah, I really love it because we have the ability to go out and make people happy that are right in front of us.
	That's so fortunate.
	And a lot of people don't.
	Like a lot of actors, you meet actors and they're just waiting for people to call them.
	It used to be like actors would, you know, they'd be like happy.
	Now you talk to them, they're like, they're like not happy.
	They're like just kind of waiting around.
	Well, everyone in Hollywood is having to bet.
	I mean, they're literally having a strike for their fucking, for some earnings.
	That's like the people that are, they're trying to take their jobs away with AI, the writing, and even the extra work.
	Imagine that.
	You can't even be a fucking extra.
	No, they're just trying.
	They want the celebrities we have now to be the last ones.
	They want Timothy Chalamet, who I like, and he says nice things about my comedy, apparently.
	He's a good man, but this Twink can't be the last one.
	Is that Lil Mabu?
	It looks slightly like Lil Mabu, but.
	You know who Mabu is?
	Yeah.
	He's fucking.
	Me too.
	He's fucking.
	I do some drill.
	Yeah.
	But I started reading about drill.
	I tried to explain to Louis C.K. what drill rap was.
	Oh, it'd be hilarious to watch him.
	But to show me, he can't be the last dude.
	Like, he can't be, he can't play Rosa Parks.
	You know what I mean?
	Yeah.
	He can't be the last actor we have.
	We need other people.
	So I think what Hollywood's doing right now, they're going like, look, Tom Hanks, give me a Margo Robbie, give me this, give me a Chalambi.
	Yeah, let's get a five.
	Let's get him.
	They're it.
	This is it.
	We're going to take their likeness.
	We're going to put them in everything.
	We're going to shut it down.
	We're going to shut it down.
	I agree.
	That's how crazy they're getting.
	They're like, give me a Chalam.
	Give me a Margo Robbie.
	Give me a Michael B. Jordan.
	Give me this.
	Give me that.
	Give me whoever we got now.
	We don't want anyone new.
	And we're going to take their likeness and use it again.
	So Chalamet will be every, like, you'll be watching a movie and he'll just maybe be two or three of the characters.
	Yep.
	He'll be in a subway commercial.
	He'll be in.
	He'll be crazy.
	He'll just play.
	Rose Parks.
	He'll do Rose Parks.
	Have you heard about that?
	It's like a drunk woman who, but she wouldn't leave the bus because she was drunk.
	Right.
	And Timothy Chalamet is playing her.
	Yeah, he'll be playing her.
	Yeah, I just think that we've got to stop.
	Like, I like him a lot.
	I think he's a talented actor.
	Oh, unbelievable.
	But we can have him in everything.
	Right.
	It'll just be, yeah, I mean, Jacob B. Lordy was in Saltburn, and then he was also Elvis Presley.
	It's just not a good one.
	No, that's a different one.
	Huh?
	That's a different one.
	That's not the same guy?
	No, that's Austin Butler.
	Oh, no, but Priscilla, I'm sorry.
	Have you seen Priscilla?
	No, but he was in that Alordi?
	Dude, Priscilla is a good movie.
	Yeah.
	I'm not all the way finished, so it might not be good, but so far it seems good.
	The first two-thirds of it's good.
	Well, I like Euphoria's great show.
	I haven't seen that yet.
	It's a great show.
	He was in that?
	He's in that.
	Oh, I didn't know that.
	I got to go down the Alorty rabbit hole.
	But it definitely.
	I get it.
	He's one of them that's going to be in the.
	He made it in.
	But it's getting fewer.
	It's getting far betweener.
	Tate McRae, I'm sure they will get it.
	But it's getting very few and far between.
	I agree that the door is shutting.
	The door is shutting.
	And they're like, we don't need any more people.
	We don't need any more.
	We'll just take these guys.
	Michael B. Jordan.
	Yeah, just a few of these guys and then we'll...
	You know, they'll be like Travis Kelsey's famous.
	Right.
	Yeah, he can definitely play Dracula or whatever.
	They'll throw anybody in.
	You know what I mean?
	They might be just like, let's put him in.
	So I don't know.
	I don't know what's coming for this town.
	I don't know.
	Because some of the good actors have also, Daniel Day Lewis just went off and he said, I'm not doing this, right?
	I think he lives in Ireland in like a castle or something.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	I mean, even some of the great, yeah, they're just done.
	They're going to get done.
	Remember that singer, Enya?
	Yeah.
	She had those songs.
	They were like, that'd be her song.
	She'd be like, she's done now.
	She just went, she went to a castle in Ireland.
	Look up her house.
	Look up Enya House, Ireland.
	You want to show you how to do it right?
	Wow.
	That's how to do it right.
	That's Kat Von Denya right there.
	You know what I mean?
	She just lives in a castle.
	She's fuck it.
	She goes, I don't care about Malibu.
	You're going to go live in a castle.
	I don't want to have to hose down homeless people looking for a warm piece of bread outside of my house.
	I don't want to have a meeting every morning with my DoorDash guards.
	I don't want to have to fucking peel the bird scooters out of my stepdaughter's windshields every morning.
	That's crazy that somebody threw a bird scooter at someone like that.
	Well, what is it?
	Is it a mating call in certain communities?
	What is, I think.
	It actually is.
	Because to be honest with you, if I'm a homeless female and I see a male and he has the strength to take a bird scooter and put it through the windshield of a Civic, I go, that's someone who can protect me.
	Oh, I'm going to split my last pocket full of hummus.
	So immediately I go to him with the things I have, the vittles that I've collected throughout the day, the candy corn, the air fresheners from the car I got, and I start sharing my gold with him because he has broken the windshield of the Civic.
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	So I do believe.
	But Hollywood, it's definitely gotten, you know what I think?
	I was thinking about this earlier.
	They just got no, everybody's just keeping their money.
	Nobody's even brave enough to take a risk anymore.
	Nobody wants to take a risk.
	All the movies are like remakes of things that have already happened.
	It's like Willy Wonka.
	It's like, dude, Priscilla.
	There's nobody in that story.
	Saltburn was original.
	Saltburn was great.
	But with Willy Wonka, here's the deal.
	It was a freak who liked chocolate.
	Everyone gets it.
	Yeah, and he likes also, let's just say it, children.
	There was something wrong in that.
	I'll say that.
	In that chocolate factory.
	And they've told this story now multiple different times.
	And I'm creeped out every time I walk out of the theater.
	I go, something's not right.
	Well, you want a little chocolate?
	Like, what is this shit?
	You want a little chocolate?
	There's something.
	And Grandpa Joe, remember the guy?
	Yeah, this was good.
	The first one was good.
	It was good.
	The first one was good.
	Sidney Poitier should have been in it, though.
	I think Sidney Poitier should have also been in it.
	But like, they're going too far.
	Well, now it's just crazy.
	When they had the one with the Indian, they were trying to be so pro-Indian one year, and they put all the Indians in it.
	That was the one with the Johnny Deck.
	And they had every Indian with the Oompa Lumpa.
	And they did 7,000 instead of paying extra Indians.
	They just put them in a math equation with the AI.
	Like they 3D printed Indians.
	That's all they did.
	That's all they did.
	With the same little guy.
	Can you imagine a meeting in Hollywood?
	They bring in one Indian guy.
	They go, you're going to play 7,000 Uompalumpas.
	And we're sorry that we've kind of demeaned you.
	We're only going to pay you for one.
	But I do like, I got to be honest, I do like this guy.
	Oh, this guy's amazing.
	I met him.
	This guy is kind of amazing.
	Deep Roy.
	I met him in a park once in Santa Maria.
	He is, let's be honest, the top one.
	Yeah, the best one.
	He is the Deep Roy.
	Roy, I think, is the best one.
	And he should have been Elvis.
	How do you fucking agree with you?
	How do you not make zoom in on this guy?
	Is that his wife?
	How is Deep Roy right there?
	It's fun.
	Yeah.
	How is...
	That's Elvis Presley.
	How is this not Elvis?
	That is Elvis Presley.
	It just, that's why Hollywood, you're like, you're fucking up.
	What was he when he was in that little hat with Yoda?
	What's that?
	Look at that.
	Oh, look at that.
	Now this.
	That's kind of beautiful.
	This is probably one of the Democratic.
	Who's putting this on him?
	Probably some Democratic Lord.
	Can you see?
	Can we just scroll down a little?
	The Bohemian Grove.
	Can we scroll down?
	Oh, sorry.
	Can you scroll up a little?
	I just want to see who's putting that helmet on him.
	That's Nancy Pelosi.
	Yeah, probably.
	She's putting a Yoda mask on him.
	This is if you want to work in Hollywood.
	This is how it happens.
	This is the kind of sick shit they're into.
	But it's also, it's like the fact people have to go on strike to get fucking paid.
	It's crazy.
	When they're already out here, all the time you spend volunteering as actress to even get work.
	And then you have to go on strike and be in a union.
	What was the thing that it said with Deer Deck?
	A bunch of people went to, what was that?
	I don't know.
	Do you see that?
	No, what happened about Ridiculous is they changed the amount of episodes.
	They're always trying to really screw over the people in like the can't fight back.
	Yes.
	Like if you're like an extra and you were like in Batman and you were the hot dog guy, you can't.
	Yeah, you can't afford the attorneys that are going to battle them.
	You can't fight back.
	So they're basically like, we've just, we've just AI'd you.
	You're the hot dog guy and everything now.
	And then it's like hell.
	Because then you're the famous hot dog guy.
	People come back from the movie theater and they go, that's my dad.
	Yeah.
	But then they have no money.
	They have no way to contact him.
	They have no money.
	And he's living in the desert and it's terrible.
	And like people just see him all the time.
	They're going, he's got like, you know, he's got maybe diabetes or something.
	He's just sitting there and they're going, you're the guy that always serves the hot dog to every superhero.
	He has no money, no way to even get out.
	He'll literally just sit there all day and put mustard on his fingers.
	He's just licking mustard in the middle of the desert in the salt flats of the California Nevada desert, living here.
	And they go, this guy is the hot dog guy.
	And they act like he died.
	He doesn't even die.
	And they have like an immemorium to him in the academy.
	Because they don't want to pay him anymore.
	They don't pay him.
	They just say he died.
	Yeah, they get him off.
	And he's screaming in a Greyhound bus station.
	He goes, I'm alive.
	You fuckers, I'm alive.
	And then he's on the Greyhound bus, and everybody's watching the.
	Watch the movie like, that's him.
	Like, it's him.
	That's him.
	And he's on the way.
	And that's a great film, by the way.
	And then he's on the way to Hollywood.
	And then he has to kill the executives.
	That's kind of an interesting.
	Oh, yeah.
	That's not horrible.
	Or he has to damage the executives.
	We'll say that.
	Damn.
	He has to teach them a lesson.
	Because we got a lot of, we've had a lot of issues.
	Taking it out of a lot of things because, you know, there's a lot of things out there that just people misconstrued.
	100%.
	Yeah.
	Um, yeah, Yeah, they stormed.
	Ridiculous writer, Ridiculousness writers stormed Rob Diredek's office asking for a meeting, but he was nowhere to be found.
	So they straight up tried to get him.
	Yep.
	On January 4th, the writers of Ridiculousness asked host and executive producer Rob Direct for his support for a fair contract.
	Wow.
	Wow, they just want a fair contract.
	Apparently, around 10 of the show's writers stormed Diredek's office, but were turned away when they called and left messages.
	No one answered.
	Because you know what it is?
	They looked at January 6th and they go, that got some results.
	Like that woke people up a little bit.
	That got some heat.
	You know, that got some heat.
	You know, rightly or wrongly, it got some heat.
	So I think a lot of these writers were like, let's just storm his office right now.
	Yeah.
	And try to like.
	They asked host Deerdeck for support for Fair Comics.
	This is Ryan Connor.
	I am here with my fellow writers at Rob's office.
	Nice guys.
	Because we just wanted to ask him for his support in our efforts to get our first.
	He was a comic in New York City.
	Wow.
	Tried to go up.
	Oh, gosh, gosh.
	We called.
	We left a message.
	Nobody answered.
	Hi.
	This is the Writers from Ridiculousness.
	We are here in the ground floor of the building just to ask if we can talk to Rob.
	So it looks like they're trying to go there and get a hold of him and they can't.
	Is that the gist of it, Nick?
	That is.
	That's the gist.
	And you know that guy, Ryan Connor?
	Yeah, he was a nice guy.
	He was a comic in New York City, and I guess he moved out here, I guess, became a writer.
	Wow.
	And what did that article say towards the end, Nick?
	Do you mind?
	Oh, it said, we are currently compensated at a rate well below our peers.
	Nope.
	Well below our peers writing for WGA coverage shows like Ridiculousness.
	The next step is they're going to have to kidnap him.
	Well, and they're going to call and they're going to go, we have him.
	Like, we have Rob Diordak.
	And what do you want from him?
	Yeah.
	And I'm not saying that I condone that stuff.
	No, of course not.
	But I'm saying like the next step logically is to kidnap Rob Diordak and they're going to go hi.
	And he could do it like just the way he did it.
	He'd be like, hey, it's Ryan Connor.
	And I just want to say we have Rob Diordak.
	It's just like we tried it the first way.
	Yeah.
	We tried it your way.
	We went to the lobby.
	You remember that?
	It's like Terminator.
	He's in a box.
	He's boxing.
	Like, make some sounds.
	It's me.
	They got me.
	And Ryan goes, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Get him by a skateboard.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	He goes, we got Rob Diordak here.
	He's unharmed.
	I hit the box.
	Ah, hear him?
	He's unharmed.
	But we are just trying to get a fair contract.
	So let's start the negotiation.
	Yeah, let's start it now.
	Let's just start it now because we have Rob at an undisclosed location.
	But that's the next logical step here.
	You have to kidnap.
	You have to commandeer.
	You have to commandeer Rob Deerdack for a few days.
	Yes.
	For a few days to just get people awake.
	Awake.
	Because this doesn't, by the way, I see that.
	I see people in the lobby of a building.
	I go, all right.
	So what?
	You know?
	But you've got to pay these people.
	You got to pay them money.
	What does it say about the episodes, Nick?
	They used to do 30 in 2011 when they started, and now they're doing 336 a year, and they're not union.
	Wow.
	Well, they got to put him in a box.
	Yeah, I mean...
	You ever seen March Wooden Soldiers?
	Uh-uh.
	Lorland Hardy, fat guy, thin guy, brilliant.
	They mail themselves in a box, the old school move.
	Yeah.
	Troy.
	Rob Deerdack.
	Exactly.
	Trojan Horse.
	Trojan Horse.
	Rob Deerdak.
	They're like, he goes, oh, someone sent something.
	Like the studio sent something nice to the house.
	They got a big box.
	It opens and it's the whole writing staff.
	Yeah.
	Right there.
	There it is, standing on.
	It's the whole writing staff.
	And then all of a sudden, but then they still, here's what's interesting about that.
	They actually still have to kidnap them.
	So it's like, forget the box.
	They still have to kidnap them.
	But they still mean business.
	They still mean business.
	It's a way to get in the building.
	It's a way to get in the building, but they have to just say, hi, my name is Ryan Connor.
	I'm a writer at Ridiculousness.
	And we have Rob.
	We tried it your way.
	But Rob is here.
	And Rob is now very enthusiastic about this new contract.
	Aren't you Rob?
	Hit the cage.
	Rob, Rob has had a change of heart.
	He's actually leading the charge for this new contract, right?
	Hit the cage.
	Yes, yeah.
	Give him anything they want.
	We're not even asking for that, Rob, but thank you for saying that.
	I believe we have a month.
	That's dead quote.
	Yeah, that's quote.
	You just heard was give them anything they want.
	Please, I just want to leave here alive.
	He's being fed.
	We're taking care of him.
	No one's abusing him.
	I don't even think they pay people to go.
	I think they offered me to go on that show before, and they don't even pay you to go.
	It's not good if they're not paying.
	They don't even pay you to go be a guest on that show.
	Yeah.
	Like they say, oh, well, you get publicity out of it.
	That's what they always say about everything.
	We're paying you an exposure.
	Right.
	But yeah, these people are exposed.
	They don't have health care.
	That's what they're doing.
	They're exposed.
	They're in the elements.
	Yeah, you think writing 336 episodes of this show?
	What even is this show?
	They get like Snooki and someone else to...
	Right.
	And it's usually like somebody that knocked up a Kardashian or something, or at least came near one.
	And they get them to literally look at videos of people who are breaking their necks doing different stunts.
	Gotcha.
	And make fun of them.
	They say that.
	Right.
	Okay.
	Well, again, I...
	She's actually really funny.
	Yeah, she's really funny.
	I just, you know, I'm never a person for extremes, but I do believe in this rare instance, it just bargaining power being what it is, it just, if you have them, it makes it a lot easier.
	Yeah, yeah, I agree.
	Just throwing it out.
	If you have them.
	If you have them and it understood, like, think about the movie Seven.
	A great movie Seven.
	A great movie.
	Now, the reason that everybody was so wound up in Seven is because there was a serial killer who just kept leaving little notes, you know, communicating with the cops, making phone calls.
	Yeah, gossipy kind of guy.
	Gossipy kind of guy.
	But he didn't show up in the, you know, like the office building.
	You know what I mean?
	What he was able to do is really capture people's attention by actually going like, hey, I got the thing.
	I got the guy.
	So the reality is what they need to do is just, in a nice way, kidnap him.
	Yeah, I think commandeering is the term we like to use.
	That's correct.
	Commandeering someone.
	Commandeering someone for the purposes of a contract negotiation is great.
	Yeah.
	Well, look, it's getting to that point.
	Yeah.
	I won't be, because at one point, all it's going to take is the policeman to say, wait, I'm not on the side of this company.
	No, the police.
	I'm on the side of this person.
	Here's the brilliant thing about this.
	The police might help this.
	The police absolutely.
	The police might, they might not look too hard for him.
	Right.
	They might not be looking too hard for him.
	Okay.
	Because the show, I believe, is celebrating accidents, right?
	Yeah.
	Celebrating just public lawlessness.
	The cops aren't looking too hard for this guy.
	And plus, here's the thing.
	If they're not paying people for the clips that I'm using, I'm sure they're not.
	Right.
	And they're not paying guests to go on there.
	And they're like, great.
	That counts.
	Yeah.
	Will you put a little saliva on this contract?
	Right.
	Yeah.
	But I, and I remember them offering and they did not offer a payment on it.
	But then who's making all the money then?
	Probably the network.
	I mean, the show these days, it's only ridiculous.
	It's their own.
	What was the deal they had?
	And I'm all for people making money.
	Yeah, and I'm not trying to shit on Rob.
	Maybe it's just a misunderstanding, but.
	No, and maybe he's doing the right thing.
	I'm not being negative.
	We're just saying zoom.
	I'm zooming out.
	I'm zooming out that this is an overall this.
	I don't even care who he is, who they are.
	I'm just talking about negotiations in general.
	Agreed.
	One person usually has all the leverage.
	Yeah.
	Is my point.
	Yeah.
	And sometimes you have to bring a true article to the what the writers did there, we had no imagination.
	Right.
	Which maybe they shouldn't be getting paid.
	Maybe they shouldn't be getting paid.
	I got to be honest, I didn't see one funny thing happening.
	It was not one funny thing those writers did.
	But sometimes you got to bring a real article to the news.
	What if they all dressed up like clowns?
	And they were like, oh, you're treating us like clowns, but bloody clowns.
	Or big.
	Remember Big that passed away?
	Remember Robin Big?
	What if they all dressed up like Big?
	And like mummify Big, like we came back from the graves.
	And Big would be ashamed of this.
	Yes.
	Big would be ashamed of the way we're being treated.
	Kind of like a Christmas story, like a Christmas carol.
	R.I.P.
	Big.
	So our thing is telling the writers to do blackface.
	Well, I'd go.
	Sure, but I'm just saying.
	At this point, you're desperate action.
	Desperate matter.
	You know, I get it.
	Now, a black writer, you.
	They call Rob Dudek.
	They go, listen to this.
	The writers are mad.
	They're in the lobby of the building.
	Here's where they fucked up, Rob.
	They're all in blackface.
	You're off the hook.
	You're actually fucking.
	Or you don't have to pay any of them.
	Or Hollywood's so scared of everything, they're like, we better pay these black writers right now.
	That's right.
	That's the truth.
	That's a good point.
	Hollywood would be like, the last thing we want to do is upset the black community.
	That's right.
	They come in.
	Yeah.
	If I were black, I would just sue everybody in Hollywood.
	That's true.
	To be honest with you.
	That's a good point.
	To be honest with you.
	You start suing every human being in Hollywood.
	Yeah, I just know that Rob has the biggest.
	He is all that's on MTV is anymore.
	But all that is ridiculousness.
	Well, good, hey, like I said, everybody's got to do what they want to do in this world, you know?
	What else were we looking at, Nick?
	What else had you brought up?
	Oh, neighbors say party house in Beverly Hills is run by squatters.
	This is right up the same avenue we're talking about.
	Right.
	Can you, yeah, what do they say?
	Neighbors are fed up with what they're calling a problem house on the border of Beverly Hills and Bel Air.
	They say wild parties are being thrown there all the time by squatters.
	Police have been to the homes numerous times, but the homeowners, home ownership, status is complicated.
	Eyewitness News reporter Josh Haskell has the details.
	Condoms and drug paraphernalia litter Beverly Grove Place outside a party house located on the border of Beverly Hills and Bel Air.
	Neighbors tell eyewitness news squatters have been living here for a few months throwing wild parties that they advertise and charge admission for.
	The squatters even claimed they were raising money for the victims of the October 7th Hamas attack.
	They're showing up at 2 and 3 in the morning with loud cars, most of Jewish squatters.
	That's good.
	Is it victims of the yeah, I mean, you guys see this part of it?
	Okay.
	It's just a little aside.
	Police will do something.
	The LAPD has been to the home numerous times, but the ownership status is complicated.
	It was owned by disgraced Dr. Munir Uweda, who fled the United States and is reportedly living in Lebanon.
	After he was accused of playing a role in the murder of 21-year-old model Juliana Redding, who he had dated.
	Uweda has also been linked to an insurance fraud scheme.
	The company MDRCA Properties LLC is currently listed as the owner, but they filed for bankruptcy last year.
	The home is now for sale for $4.5 million.
	According to neighbors and their private investigator, the squatters who live here have their driver's licenses registered to this home, which has slowed the eviction process.
	They claimed it.
	I say I support squatters.
	I do because the reality of the situation is that you want people in one place and you want people to, you know, if this is a house that's owned by a guy who fled the country because he murdered his girlfriend.
	And by the way, that's what I love about LA.
	It just attracts good people.
	You know what I mean?
	Just attracts like good salt of the earth.
	Like, what a beautiful story about a doctor who killed some OnlyFans chick and then fled to Lebanon.
	Like, that's, by the way, if you're a realtor in LA, you assume that's everyone you're showing a house to.
	You're like, you're going to live here for about five years, then you're going to kill a girl and go to Lebanon.
	So don't worry about the resale value.
	It's not a big deal.
	You're just here to kill one person.
	But if that's the case, I mean, why shouldn't squatters move into his house and enjoy it?
	Well, yes, I think, look, if rich people are just going to hide.
	That's right.
	And kill people.
	And then you have got to get in there and spend time with them.
	And a lot of rich people, yeah, they say they don't want you there.
	Right.
	But that's not true, buddy.
	No, he's in Lebanon.
	In their heart, too, a lot of rich people want other people to be around.
	They want you to be there at dinner.
	They want you to live in the laundry room or wherever you see fit.
	Yeah.
	And at the end of the day, it's like, if you're squatting in a property of a guy, like he has no authority to tell you what to do.
	He could call the house and be like, hey, that's my house.
	And all you have to say is, yeah, why aren't you here?
	That's it.
	Are you on vacation?
	You killed a bitch and you fled to Lebanon.
	So yeah, I'm going to swim in your pool.
	I mean, no one has any moral authority in that situation.
	Well, you got to tell them you're saging the premises as well.
	I think you come in with a small.
	Oh, yeah.
	You go, we're trying to help you out.
	We got bleach.
	We're wiping everything down.
	We're helping you out.
	Dude, like, we're helping you out.
	This is like, don't tell mom the babysitter's dead.
	Oh, my God.
	You know what I mean?
	Like, it's like, we're throwing a huge party to cleanse the house of your murder.
	You're lucky that we're here for free.
	First of all, we're here for free.
	First of all, he's screaming from Lebanon.
	I go, first of all, let me just stop you there.
	You're welcome.
	Let's start with you're welcome, okay?
	Because we had a pool guy in here twice last week, okay?
	You're welcome.
	And yeah, we're having a few parties to raise money for the victims of the Hamas attack.
	Yeah, yeah.
	In your house.
	We're having a fundraiser.
	And this is where we're doing it.
	Look, we're raising money to make the next big mama's house.
	We're trying to solve the Middle East.
	We're trying to raise money for the ridiculousness writers.
	We are doing all sorts of things.
	By the way, are the ridiculousness writers the ones in that house?
	Hopefully, yeah, that's probably.
	Hopefully they're getting free rent.
	Because that's where they're plotting their whole thing.
	They're like, we're in this house.
	We're squatting in the house.
	And we're just trying to get Rob Dierdeck to pay us money so we can get apartments so we don't have to live in this mansion of this murderer.
	Look, if there are extremely wealthy people out of town, and you consider them or people in your area consider them some lord or deviant or dark artist.
	Right.
	I don't think there's anything wrong with spending time in their home.
	They have a pool.
	The pool didn't kill anyone.
	They're not even there.
	Did the terrorists kill someone?
	No.
	So you're basically going into a piece of real estate.
	I think real estate's blameless.
	I agree.
	I did not blame.
	I don't blame Brentwood for OJ's activities.
	Yeah.
	I don't look at the house and go, oh, you look at this.
	I mean, they've demolished it now.
	But like Epstein's townhouse didn't do anything wrong.
	Agreed.
	It's the people inside.
	Yeah.
	And so I think, yeah, if there's a house in a fancy area and you love it, get in there.
	I think.
	I think get in there and it's better.
	Look for murderers in your area who fled.
	Because all it takes is two or three houses in a neighborhood for this to happen.
	And then the property values all come down and we get all this again.
	And by the way, if you live in a nice area, there are definitely a few murderers who have fled.
	Yeah, it's really just a matter of you doing the legwork.
	Finding it.
	Yeah.
	Because it's always going to appear like, oh, nobody's been in that house for a while.
	I wonder why it is.
	And then you're going to find out, oh.
	Sometimes people's kids kill people and they check out.
	Yeah.
	It's easy to figure out, too.
	And a lot of times, I think, look, go through Halloween, see who doesn't have a trick-or-treating thing set up.
	That's a great point.
	And those are the first people's houses to stop in at and see what's going on.
	And eventually the government.
	Don't do it at my house?
	I'm just in Reno performing in a casino.
	I didn't kill anyone.
	So I just want to put that out there.
	I have a nice home.
	Don't come to my house because I am coming back in two days.
	I'm just, I'm probably in Boston or something, just screaming at drunks.
	You think it's okay for people to get into more of the squatting and the commandeering?
	It goes case by case because.
	Do you think so?
	I think it goes back to the old times where it's like when you showed up and you took some land.
	I feel like that's the times we're getting back to.
	And I think it's okay.
	Well, here's where.
	People can't afford rents.
	How else do you expect people when seven families or whatever own half the city?
	It's a great point.
	I think the problem becomes like when you are squatting in a house of like, I don't know, somebody.
	It might be somebody who's disabled or something.
	Well, no, but maybe what's going on, like it does, I don't know.
	You're envisioning, what you're envisioning is like a fan, like a family who's like down on their luck.
	It's like, we're going to squat in this house.
	Oh, I'm also envisioning a couple of rager boys from freaking.
	That's fine.
	Like, here's the deal.
	I think what you're going to get, you're going to get like, you might get some, you might get some activity in that property that's not great for the neighborhood.
	Oh, I think that's what I want.
	Okay.
	All right.
	Sure.
	As long as you know what's going to go.
	Yeah.
	As long as you know what's going to happen.
	I want, dude.
	It's not going to be like Christmas carols.
	They're doing fake Hamas.
	Fake fundraisers.
	These people are doing Hamas reenactments.
	They've got like the pictures of the hostages.
	They're just doing coke off them.
	I mean, oh my God.
	These are people.
	these are the kind of people we need.
	I think people doing puppet shows, people doing, um, Renaissance fair stuff.
	Renaissance fair stuff.
	So that's my thing.
	It's like, if you are going to squat, make it an event that the community can enjoy to some degree.
	I agree.
	There should be a Punch and Judy show for the kids.
	You know, something fun.
	Put on a small petting zoo.
	Do something small.
	My godson is Chinese.
	They always take him to the petting zoo.
	Oh, get a Persian guy to just get on his knees and pet that dude.
	Get a Persian guy.
	Get that actor, Deep Roy.
	Like any of those people.
	Elbis.
	Yes, make it fun.
	Like, I just don't want it to be because the squatting might just be its own way of like, they might also just start gatekeeping it from the community.
	If you're squatting in a big mansion, you got to let it be a community center.
	I just think it's, yeah, that's true.
	I agree.
	That's all I'm saying.
	I'm not saying don't squat.
	I'm saying, like you said, do once a month, you do a play.
	You do a play.
	You do something.
	You do some Shakespeare in the sun.
	You do Shakespeare in the park.
	Yeah, you do Raisin in the Sun.
	You do a Raisin in the Sun.
	You do a version of Raisin.
	Everybody's going to be hungover and you go, wake up.
	Today's we're doing Raisin in the Sun.
	And people can be on book.
	They don't have to memorize their lines.
	There's going to be people that are near overdose.
	You got to get them off the floor, hand them a script, and they got to stand out there for the local children and do Raisin in the Sun or Mr. Belvedere.
	And Mr. Belvedere.
	They got to do something, you know, death of a salesman.
	Death of a salesman for sure.
	If you can't find one fucking dream catcher weaving lesbian to play Willie Loman.
	You got to get a bitch named Skye who's been on Molly, just the best Molly.
	Who's been to a lot of wise bread panic shows to play Willie Lohman so that at least, because then the cops won't even do anything.
	Because they're just going to go, hey man, they do plays for the community.
	And like, you know, people write Yelp reviews and stuff.
	And they go, you know, we really thought it was just a bunch of junkies partying, but my kid went there the other day and we saw a beautiful production of Death of a Salesman.
	With like a shaman who was straight up ayahuasca played Willie Lohman.
	And it was brilliant.
	Yeah, I think Bert, what was the guy's name in that, his son's name?
	I can't remember.
	I don't know.
	It would have been great to remember.
	But yeah, we saw Biff.
	Biff and Harold.
	Yes, Biff and Harold.
	You are playing Biff.
	Like they're yelling at a guy.
	He's coming down the stage.
	You're playing Biff today.
	You're doing Biff.
	He's like, all right.
	He's got the script.
	He's like shaking.
	He's just going through the DTs.
	He's trying to fucking.
	He's just trying to do it.
	But that's my thing, just make it a community center.
	Yes.
	Make it fun.
	Because here's what's going to happen too.
	The rich people of, they're so rich now.
	They don't, eventually they're going to stop fighting you.
	Yeah.
	They're not going to go to, they're not even going to fly back in this time.
	It's going to look bad for them to fight you.
	They're going to start talking about it in Aspen.
	They're going to start going, we have one of our homes.
	Yeah, it's an aquarium now.
	One of our homes is being used by people putting their lives together and they're doing death of a salesman.
	And they will love saying that.
	You have to understand.
	At a certain point, you have to understand the value of the media for yourself.
	That's right.
	It's all advertising.
	So you get people to say, hey, fuck these rich people.
	Let these people live.
	And that's all you need is two or three people saying that.
	This is a status symbol to go.
	We have so many homes, we don't even care.
	A few of them, we just have people squatting.
	They do petting zoos.
	We got a house in Bel Air.
	It's a big petting zoo.
	And it's run by this lesbian on Molly.
	And she just walks a bunch of kids through once a month to a petting zoo.
	It goes, we like to give back to the community.
	They go, we're not using it.
	We just got to meet Hercule Poirot the other day in character.
	You know, we just met Hess.
	They just did a Hester Prynn meet and greet in the front yard.
	Yeah, it was brilliant.
	So why?
	You know, they go, listen, we're not going to get in the way of that.
	Yeah, they're doing 10 Little Indians at Christmas.
	That's right.
	We can't stop this.
	So if you walk in, if you walk in, if the cops walk into a squatter's house and there's just a bunch of junkies writhing on the floor, that's one thing.
	But if they walk in and the junkies start going, God rest ye, Mary, gentlemen, for that he dismay is where Christ our Savior was born on.
	The cops start singing.
	Yeah, the cops start singing.
	Like, you know, you just have to do that.
	And that's Miracle on 34th Street.
	That's true.
	That's exactly.
	It's a comedian.
	It's a new Christmas movie that we pitch about a bunch of junkie squatters who team up with the rich landlords who are fleeing the country because they've killed their OnlyFans girlfriends to make a beautiful Christmas pageant for the community.
	And it's so like the whole pageant is so ridiculous.
	It's so crazy.
	It's so crazy.
	It's contrived.
	And he's watching it from Lebanon.
	Yeah.
	It's got like Macaulay Colkin battling the fucking ninja turtle.
	Oh, it's amazing.
	It's just pop culture references.
	It's absolutely.
	It's Igyazalea.
	It's Iggy Azalea.
	Playing fucking Sydney Luhu.
	It's out of control.
	Yeah.
	But there's something beautiful about it.
	Something beautiful about it.
	What other news do we have going on?
	Nick, anything else great happening?
	Yeah, Jon Stewart is returning to the Daily Show only on Mondays, and also as an executive producer through the election cycle.
	Wow.
	They must have backed up the money truck.
	Money truck.
	think so?
	He seems like a guy of character as well.
	I think he wants to do it, you know?
	Yeah.
	He wants to have a voice.
	It would be funny, though, if they let him do it Mondays and then Trump did it Tuesdays.
	You know what I mean?
	Just to kind of...
	Donald Trump will do it Fridays.
	Yeah.
	He will do the daily show Friday.
	And Whitney's doing it on Wednesdays.
	Yeah, Whitney's going to do it on Wednesday.
	Her kid's very cute.
	Is the kid cute?
	Cute kid, yeah.
	I haven't seen the kid.
	He's like a beautiful child.
	Well, she's got nice breasts.
	Is it a boy or a girl, the kid?
	It's a boy with very nice breasts.
	Oh, wow.
	Okay, good.
	Yeah.
	And that shouldn't matter.
	I'm just saying.
	No, it doesn't matter.
	I wouldn't be shocked if the kid has great breaths one day.
	Yeah.
	The boy.
	Oh, that's amazing.
	The child is filed emancipation papers.
	You can see him right there begging for a sip.
	Yeah, that's a good idea.
	That's what he's in.
	That's Deep Roy, isn't it?
	That's Deep Roy.
	That's not a child.
	That's Deep Roy.
	And Roy's getting, look at her.
	She's just beyond.
	This is a new headshot.
	So Deep Roy has pretended to be an infant.
	This is going to be a newspaper article.
	Whitney Cummings was actually Deep Roy.
	I wouldn't be surprised.
	There's a lot of...
	Little people are going undercover.
	They just had a Russian girl who spaked the family to be able to eat and survive.
	So they're just going to have to, you know, and Whitney, because Whitney is busy.
	She's busy.
	That's the thing with Whitney.
	She's a great mom and everything, but she's busy.
	She's got a lot going on.
	So she might not notice if her son is Deep Roy.
	She might not notice if she's got Deep Roy.
	If you got a fucking young baby who's just in an Elvis outfit, she might like how quickly he's growing.
	And like, she might be like, my baby's so impressive.
	He's speaking.
	He's speaking Hindu.
	He's dressed like Elvis.
	Yeah, he's doing great.
	Like, I've done a great job.
	Yeah, he's Deep Roy.
	He's doing fucking huh.
	And they're like, they're going to say to her, they're going to go, at what moment did you realize that your son was actually deep?
	A squatter.
	A squatter.
	There was a squatter in your home, Deep Roy.
	There's a squatter in your jeans.
	It was one time I was just looking at him at dinner.
	I was looking at him at dinner and he was telling stories about Johnny Depp from the Charlie the Chunket Foundry movie.
	And she goes, I just looked at him in the light, hit him a certain way.
	I was like, are you Deep Roy?
	Unbelievable, dude.
	Unreal.
	Unreal.
	Wow.
	We'll have a blue.
	But it's getting so bad.
	Little people are squatting as infants to eat, to survive.
	That's how bad it's.
	People don't understand when it goes from grapes to grapes or wrath, man.
	People don't understand it.
	There are a lot of little people that can and should kind of try to pass as children.
	They get in a car on the way to Six Flags, try to get him, like, look, be with the family.
	They had a guy in Indiana.
	He, if you get a chance, they looked at it.
	He was like 31 and he had primordial dwarfism, I think.
	Right.
	He went back to third grade, right?
	Yeah.
	Went to third grade, was doing pretty good.
	They said he wasn't even doing that good in it.
	Right.
	And I'm like, God.
	Well, third grade's not easy.
	That's when they start bringing out the big math textbooks.
	That's a good point.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Oh, six-year-old orphan or con artist adult revisiting the strange.
	Oh, no, this was Nat and Natalia Grace.
	This was a male, but that was the Russian child.
	But they had a male who pretended no, I would say dwarf impersonates child Indiana.
	It's a very interesting move.
	And to me, it's like something.
	And other states, but in other states.
	I feel like it's totally appropriate, you know, given the way things are.
	Yeah.
	Oh, but I'm just not shocked that this is.
	But this guy went back to school and they one day, the teacher saw him driving somewhere, driving to an Applebee's or something.
	Yeah.
	And they busted him like, shouldn't you be doing your home?
	Right.
	And then he was like, no, I'm actually.
	It's a weird move to just want to go to school, but I guess he was getting fed and taken care of.
	Yeah, I think it's a lot of that.
	Well, it's free.
	Then you're on the government's time.
	That's right.
	And you know what?
	It's like, he's like, let me try again.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, let me relive it.
	Like everybody wants to kind of relive it.
	Oh, I'd love to.
	So like to me, it's like that's Also, heartwarming that little people can kind of relive it.
	And I think if you are a little person and you do feel better around children, you should be able to go back to school.
	I think if you want to try it again, run it back.
	A lot of little people out there that go, I like all of us, I want to run it back.
	What would you do if you ran it back?
	Oh, God, man.
	Would you do something different, really?
	Well.
	Were you outgoing in high school?
	Yeah, I was outgoing.
	I wouldn't have started cocaine at 13. Wow, that's early.
	That was early.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	That was too much.
	I did it for like until I was like in my early 20s, and then I cut it out.
	But I didn't do it like every day when I was 13, but like 13, I was smoking weed.
	I was trying stuff.
	Like you try a couple lines of blow.
	And like, you know, like not great.
	Like, it was not good.
	LSD started in.
	I would have held off on that, you know?
	And then I would have tried to be.
	If I could be any archetype of person, I wanted to be like a real hot, dumb person.
	If I could do it again, I would want to live in California and be one of those people.
	They're just really hot and all they do is surf all day.
	Yeah.
	And they're just, they don't know any, like they don't know.
	They're the people that will believe the, like you come to them and tell them anything they believe it.
	They're like, oh, wow.
	They're like, what?
	Yeah.
	The word they always say is what?
	What?
	They go, what?
	What?
	But they have the best life in my estimation.
	So nice.
	They just sit on the beach, eat burritos, and they just go swimming.
	And then one day, the luckiest ones in them get eaten by a shark.
	The luckiest ones.
	The ones that the gods love enough.
	The ones that the gods love enough are like, you can just, we'll take you now.
	Yeah.
	You know?
	That would be nice.
	I guess that's a romantic way to look at going back to high school.
	I think just being like, yeah, all body.
	Just like you're sitting in class and you're so good looking, people don't even care if you're learning.
	They don't care if you're learning.
	The teachers are kind of afraid of you.
	You get a C plus.
	Really, really hot people.
	People just kind of let them do whatever they want.
	Just kind of let them do whatever they want.
	If you're a really good looking person, you don't even have to squat.
	You can kind of just show up to someone's house.
	They'll let you in.
	They'll be like, come on in.
	Bro, Ian Summerholder went to the high school I went to, right?
	He was the best-looking guy for, I think, he won an award once.
	It was like best looking guy for like 700 miles or whatever.
	Right.
	And he was like, as he would come to the first day of school.
	Right.
	They would give him A's for the, and he would leave.
	And he would leave.
	Yeah.
	He would not, he would just, they gave him, he would come there to literally get his report cards for the year.
	Yeah.
	And he would, he just looked at all the ladies, just let them all know that he existed, that he loved them.
	And that was it.
	And then he would, um he would go back home.
	He just he moved out of town.
	He lives on a farm now.
	He's a he has a farm with his wife and children.
	He moved out of Hollywood anyway.
	Yeah.
	It was a good move.
	But God is growing up in the shadow of such beauty for men and women.
	Women would get their hair cut to look like him.
	Of course.
	Of course.
	People didn't know what to do.
	You had a lot of moms and like stay-at-home moms and basically just like people that didn't want to work kind of.
	And they would all try and look like him or dress.
	You had women dressing like him, wearing Abercrombie and Fitch and the men stuff.
	It was just.
	Yeah, when somebody's that good looking, you just, people try to be them without even knowing it.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	People were devastated if they didn't know him or if they didn't know somebody that knew him.
	Yeah.
	He was just that handsome.
	It's just the effects of somebody that could be that good looking on a community.
	Yeah, of course.
	Because you're all just, everybody else is ugly.
	Everybody else is just, in comparison to him, less.
	Yeah.
	And they feel it.
	What is this?
	Tech CEO dies after freak accident on stage in front of crowd at company party.
	The company's president remains in critical condition.
	Didn't they just say he died?
	They said he died.
	Oh my God, dude.
	Yo, they don't get clickbait.
	They just want you in.
	The CEO died.
	The president is in critical condition.
	Oh, okay.
	They were being lowered from a cage and the chains broke and they fell 15 feet in front of the city.
	Well, that's one of those, by the way, no one feels bad for them.
	Well, I mean, a lot of people in that company were like, dude, come on.
	They're lowering him from a cage.
	Yeah, what are we doing here?
	It's just like if you want to be a low, you can't pretend to be a god on earth, man.
	You got to stop.
	A Chicago area tech CEO died after falling onto a stage at a packed company event in India last week.
	Vistex CEO Sanye Shah, 36, and company president Raju Dotla, 52, were marking the company's Silver Jubilee celebration.
	What did it say happened?
	Both men were inside a suspended cage when the chain holding the cage broke on one side, causing them both to fall onto the stage.
	At the time of the accident, music was being played, and Sha and Raju were waving to their staff while being lowered.
	Wow.
	What music would you want being played while that happened, do you think?
	It's a great question.
	Maybe Jai Ho from Slum Dog Millionaire, you know, Jai Ho.
	Yeah, because it's kind of that fun, you know, nobody would even believe you dead.
	They'd be having so much fun.
	That's the thing, because it's like, it would be such a crazy environment that it would like, even though you're dying, it's still, it's still kind of, you know, dri-ho.
	So that would be my personal choice.
	I love that, dude.
	Tell me something.
	I think I would go with that.
	That would be something.
	Yeah, bring it down.
	Yeah.
	Well, I mean, God bless, you know, sad.
	It's like.
	Oh, it's heartbreaking.
	You know, we're not laughing at it.
	It's just, it's one of those things where it's like, you're already the CEO.
	Right.
	Like, do you need to be the Brett Hart of Right?
	Do you need to, you know, that scene in the beginning of Cats?
	We're like, well, the, or the end of cats, where like the, I don't know if you ever saw the show, cats, were like, they go up on this little like UFO.
	There's like a bunch of cats.
	Oh, do they really?
	At the end, yeah, it's like a garbage can lid.
	There's just a bunch of cats.
	And like, you know, they just rise because they're going to heaven.
	The cats at the end.
	Debatable.
	Yeah.
	And for sure.
	But that, you don't need that level of theatrics when you're the CEO.
	You don't need.
	You shouldn't be up there.
	The secretary should be up there.
	Yeah.
	It's like you just, you're the CEO.
	You just, these people, some of them want to kill you.
	Hire some squatters.
	Hire the squatter.
	People are bringing out.
	That's when you go, thank you for coming.
	Now, Iggy Azalea.
	Ladies and gentlemen, let Iggy Azalea fall through the cage and die in front of your company.
	Do not die in front of your company.
	There's no reason for it.
	And if it's tech, you're supposed to be tech.
	You're supposed to be technologically advanced.
	Wizard of Oz.
	You can't even put a fucking cage on a hologram.
	Like, what are you doing?
	Because that's not what they do.
	They do like that new age shit.
	You should be a hologram.
	Yeah.
	You shouldn't be trying to do Ringling Brothers and Bark Valley Circus where you like ride out on an elephant.
	They were probably like, it's India.
	Like, we're going to get wild.
	Yeah.
	Lower cups.
	Yeah.
	That would have been a great idea.
	Do you do anything exorbitant like that?
	Do you do anything?
	You ever do any fancy stuff, Tim?
	Like on stage?
	Not really.
	I just kind of walk out and I've heard you throw some pretty wild parties.
	I've actually heard.
	I heard we have like a.
	Yeah.
	I heard this.
	I heard like a crazy thing about parties that you throw.
	We had a Caitlin Jenner at one.
	Did you?
	Yeah.
	She invited me to one of them.
	I invited you to all of them.
	They're not around.
	Caitlin Jenner came, which was fun.
	No way she came.
	She came with her girlfriend who's a trans MAGA influencer.
	And they came and they were great because they're going around the parties talking about Donald, Denid, we need Donald Trump.
	And it was L.A., so there were people that were just, but you can't say shit to Caitlin because Caitlin's like 6'8.
	Caitlin's a tough woman.
	And she's a tough woman.
	She'll break your head if she wants to.
	Is she pretty cool?
	She's cool.
	Wow.
	She's like, picture this.
	I know this is going to blow everybody's minds.
	It's going to blow your mind right now.
	Oh, my mind's easily blown.
	Here's what I'll say about her.
	It's almost like she's a dad.
	Wow.
	You know what I mean?
	Oh, yeah.
	It's mind-blowing.
	It's almost like I can almost imagine her as like a dad.
	Like, it has like some dad energy.
	It's weird when you meet a mom who like has the vibes of like a dad.
	Like one of my aunts, because she drank with the uncles and never went to sleep.
	Yeah.
	They just called her Charlie.
	Oh, yeah.
	Even though that wasn't her name, it was Susan.
	But her nickname was Charlie.
	They go, get Charlie.
	Because she would drink every night till she fell down with the men.
	Caitlin has that vibe of like just a dad energy.
	Oh.
	Yeah.
	And I love her and I support her and I support.
	She was showing people pictures of her plane.
	And she's just trying to live her life.
	That's the thing.
	She's just trying to live her life.
	Yeah, I would love to meet her.
	She seems like a cool lady.
	I support Trump from her plane.
	And I respect all of it.
	That's her girlfriend?
	That's her girlfriend.
	Wow.
	Beautiful.
	And it's, you know, it was a friend's giving I had.
	Did Spade come too?
	Spade came.
	He didn't tell me.
	See, Spade's on a lot of these lists.
	People always say he's on that.
	Oh, that's her plane right there?
	That's her plane.
	So she's a pilot.
	She's a pilot.
	Wow, that's wild.
	I would love.
	I like interesting people.
	And this is this, to me, like a trans Trump supporting Olympian pilot.
	I love that.
	That's a thing.
	It's like Tiger King.
	It's like our Tiger King.
	Without question, she is our Tiger King.
	And she's free.
	She's already free.
	You know what I mean?
	She's already free.
	Dude, but imagine being, first of all, so good at being a man.
	You're like, fuck it.
	I already did this so well.
	I'm going to be a woman as well.
	I'm going to go do this.
	And I'm going to be great at that.
	And get that.
	Can you get that photo up of Caitlin and Trump again?
	Because that explains her energy.
	But it explains our time maybe more than any other photo.
	Yeah.
	That is Caitlin Jenner and Donald Trump engaged in what can only be called like a historic kind of like clasp of power.
	There's something in the orange, brother.
	I mean, that's what Lord of the Rings should have been.
	That's the ring of power.
	She's giving him the ring of power.
	There you go right there.
	Yeah, there it is.
	That's what I mean.
	The epic handshake.
	That's what it is.
	We need more blacks.
	That's what we need.
	Yes.
	Just overall.
	Oh, for you.
	I agree.
	I absolutely agree.
	That's something that's got to happen.
	But I think Trump would do that if he's in office.
	Dude, but that's so wild to be to be.
	Yeah, I guess he just did so well at being a man.
	He's like, I want to be a woman.
	And now she's an amazing woman.
	And she's killing it.
	And has a beautiful girlfriend.
	And has a beautiful girlfriend and is killing it.
	And the girlfriend is a trans bestite?
	Trans.
	The girlfriend is a trans Trump.
	Okay.
	She supports Trump heavily.
	And she's trans for Trump.
	Got it.
	Have you been to?
	So I was on Shane Gillis's podcast and Matt McCusker.
	How funny are those guys?
	The best.
	Absolute best.
	And they said, they made a good point.
	We were talking about this.
	And it's like, that's how strong MAGA is.
	You'll get it.
	It's like COVID.
	Like Matt was like, it's like COVID.
	You're going to get it.
	Even the trans people will get it.
	You can dye your hair blue.
	You can go out in the street and stomp around.
	Eventually, one day, you're just going to get it.
	You'll be sitting at a McDonald's.
	You'll feel a scratchiness in your throat.
	And the next day, you'll wake up and you go, immigration is a problem.
	So did I just see David Smade yesterday?
	Yeah.
	And was David Smade fighting a homeless guy for a hash brown?
	You got to go to the UFC fights.
	Do you like going or do you notice?
	I'll go.
	I'll go.
	No, I've never gone, but I'd love to go.
	I see all you guys go.
	I'll go.
	I think you would just love.
	Yeah, I mean, I like the spectacle of it.
	Yeah, the spectacle of it.
	I don't know a huge amount about the sport, but I, for sure.
	You would have so much stuff to talk about.
	I'd have a great time.
	Because you just have, like, there's just like, you get to meet so many different people and none of their representatives are there who ruin everything.
	That's right.
	That's just regular people.
	It's just cool people.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, for sure.
	Oh, there's one I forgot about that.
	That's one.
	Yeah, you're there a lot.
	That Spade took me to.
	That was fun.
	It's just been so fun to get to be around some of those people.
	Oh, dude, it's so fun.
	It's like not even, it's crazy how fun you guys seem to have.
	It's just been fun.
	I think that's one of the beautiful, the cool side effects of also that Joe Rogan had on the comedy community.
	Oh, he brought both of those worlds together?
	I mean, he brought Joe brought all of these different worlds together: science, fitness, nutrition, you know, history, fighting, MMA, all that stuff, comedy.
	Like, he really married all these different worlds.
	Yeah, people a lot of times would be like, yeah, like Shane and I were just talking the other day.
	Shane Gillis and I were saying about, yeah, people were like, if he moved to Austin, was he just moving into Rogan's universe or whatever?
	But, bro, I just think people talk about it a lot.
	Like, people say, oh, you're sucking Rogan's dick or whatever.
	But he's just one of the most creative.
	He's one of the most, there's nobody like him.
	No.
	Yeah.
	And I don't think, I think, I think it's a, you know, like, it's one of the greatest clubs in the history of comic.
	Bro, I had some of my best set there for you.
	Why wouldn't any, you know what I mean?
	Like, I go down there when I can.
	Like, it makes so much sense to be there.
	We did a show.
	It was me, Shane Joe, and Ron White was down there, Brian Simpson, and we did a show for like law enforcement.
	Cops that came.
	It was just, and we're making fun of them.
	They loved it.
	Like, it was just one of the most fun nights of comedy that you can have.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	And they protect the phones.
	There's no phones, so people can't just put stuff up and stuff like that.
	Well, that's, it's just run perfectly.
	People can't take the phones out and start fucking around.
	Yeah.
	Adam E gets down there.
	He does a great job.
	Deep Roy can't sneak in.
	Like, you can't turn around.
	You're like, is Deep Roy out of nowhere?
	I have a squatter in my womb.
	I can't believe Whitney had a squatter in her womb.
	It's crazy that Deep Roy fooled her for a year.
	Solid year.
	Even though she saw him on his cell phone talking to other people in the backyard.
	She's like, I guess this is my six-year-old infant, my six-day-old infant.
	It's Deep Roy.
	You're like, I'm having kind of a busy flow this month.
	It's curry-esque.
	That'd be shocking when you have Cumins.
	Ms. Cummings, at what point did you realize your newborn son was Deep Roy?
	She's like, when he pronounced my last name as Cumins.
	I think that's probably when, dude, when they had Tandoori in my underpants.
	You didn't think it was strange that your four-month-old son was walking around the house on the phone with his agent?
	That occasionally he would wear a turban?
	Strange.
	You didn't find it strange that he first learned to walk on hot coals.
	You didn't think it was odd that he had a pet tiger?
	This was odd to you.
	What else did we have?
	Anything else?
	Yeah, what did I?
	Oh, what was that?
	Yeah, I can't believe that they said that about, oh, and Cat Williams.
	What do you think about the Cat Williams fiasco?
	I didn't see the interview.
	I read it because I was on a plane.
	I read it.
	I read the transcript because I couldn't.
	You can't get service on a plane.
	You just land and watch it.
	No, I just, it's everyone's talking about it.
	I was just reading the transcript.
	Like it was a court case.
	He's the funniest guy to me.
	Like I, his specials when I was growing up watching them.
	Oh, yeah.
	Even when my friends would watch them and cry laughing, like he's the funniest guy.
	Did you ever, you ever met him?
	Never met him.
	Wow.
	But like to me, like his specials, when I watch his specials, it's the best thing ever.
	Club Shay Shay.
	Shannon Sharp's like the jacked Wendy Williams now, I feel like.
	For sure.
	No doubt, right?
	Where is Wendy?
	We don't even know.
	Well, that's another piece.
	That's another thing.
	A lot of the black community has said that she's been kind of, what's it calling your commandeer, taken over or whatever?
	I don't know.
	Compromised?
	Compromised.
	Yeah, like she's a plant.
	Who planted her?
	I don't know.
	Right.
	That's the thing.
	Well, that's one thing Kat brought into the conversation was that a lot of folks, there's plants in the black community.
	Interesting.
	That black people feel that way.
	Interesting.
	And I thought that was interesting.
	And how he said Rogan had unfunny comics member?
	Do you see that?
	Yes, I saw that.
	Yeah.
	I don't think that, I wouldn't take that.
	Well, I think Rogan's, he's had so many comics that have been around him.
	He's had so many comics that I feel like, you know, I don't know.
	He probably wasn't talking about us.
	Maybe.
	Or he could have been.
	Or he could have been.
	And if he was, it's nice to.
	It would have been given to me.
	It's nice to think about that he wasn't talking about us.
	Yeah, that's nice.
	You're right.
	What ego.
	No, it's just nice to imagine he was talking about someone else.
	Yeah, that's the best.
	Because all of us, when we heard that, were like, I'm sure he means someone else.
	Our friends, our other friends.
	Immediately, as soon as that happened, we all went, yeah, he probably means someone else.
	He's talking about us.
	I don't know, but we don't know.
	Yeah, I mean, all like, And also, if you have so many comics coming to your show over the years, and comedy is so, what's it called when everybody has something subjective?
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	It's like, there's so many types.
	And I'll watch a guy one night and I'll be like, I didn't love it.
	And I'll watch him another night and be like, that was the best thing I've ever seen.
	It goes both ways.
	You can hate someone and love them and then love them and hate them or hate them because you love them or love them because you hate them.
	There's like a weird cringe.
	There's these bitches on TikTok who review restaurants in New York City and they have the most annoying voice.
	Oh, it's the worst.
	And they go, and then they're like, this steak, fucks.
	Go cry about it.
	Or they'll be like, this pasta was rubbery and overrated.
	Go cry about it.
	I hate them, but I can't stop watching.
	You understand?
	It's like, you just can't stop watching their things because it's just such an annoying pitch of voice.
	And I imagine them every time they review something.
	Like every time they're like, this ramen fucks.
	Pussy's horrible.
	Right.
	I imagine him getting thrown out of a window onto Central Park West and just getting impaled on the thing.
	But I still watch.
	So I don't know.
	Maybe he was talking about others.
	Did you ever, yeah, it's just interesting to think about.
	Did you ever have parties?
	What was one?
	I heard like this crazy rumor that you would have parties where guys would have to bring a cake or like a nice dessert to the party.
	Is that a true story?
	No, but never that.
	I just heard that.
	No, no, never hear that.
	I was kind of jealous.
	That's just kind of a hilarious.
	Every party I've ever had, I have like have it catered.
	Oh, yeah?
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Because I would love that.
	I would never trust the people that we know to bring anything of value to my house.
	Why would I trust so that Burt Kreiser could bring an alcohol cake?
	He just brings a colostomy bag.
	Like, yeah, that's completely insane.
	That's a great idea.
	If I had a different circle of friends, it'd be a great idea.
	Everyone show up with like a little dessert.
	It'd be cool.
	But it would be fun.
	Like, I like that that's a rumor and I want it to keep going because I'd like the rumor to be like Tim Dylan sits on like a throne and you have to go in and feed him.
	Like, and Deep Roy is next to me, and you have to give the dessert to Deep Roy.
	You can't look me in the eye.
	Deep Roy has to deal with Deep Roy.
	He runs it up to your mouth.
	So Deep Roy just feeds it to me.
	And then I go, yes or no?
	And if I say no, you have to leave.
	You have to take your whatever, your beignets, and leave if I don't like it.
	And if you don't like it, they take whatever dessert you brought and put it on a really heavy tray.
	Yeah, carry it, yeah.
	Heavy tray on the way out.
	And then Caitlin Jenner comes in and she's like, you want something, baby?
	And then she just brings in and she just puts in it's an entire wedding cake.
	I got to meet Mel Gibson the other night.
	How was he, man?
	It was really interesting.
	It was at the Bobby.
	Bobby Kennedy had a birthday that I went to.
	So I went to his birthday and I got to talk with Mel Gibson for a little while.
	I met him at a UFC fight.
	That's just one of the things that's crazy.
	Just meet the people you'd never think to meet.
	But yeah, it was just fascinating.
	I mean, The Patriots, one of my favorite movies ever.
	It's a great movie.
	So that was just, yeah, it was just fascinating.
	He's an interesting guy.
	He was cool.
	He had some funny stories.
	I like that Bobby Kennedy's just open to having different people there.
	Oh, yeah.
	There was all types of interesting folks over there.
	But that was kind of fascinating.
	John Stockton was there, the basketball player.
	Do you remember him?
	I remember.
	I don't remember him.
	He played for the Utah National.
	Yeah, of course.
	Yeah.
	He was like, these people are all just there hanging out with Bobby Kennedy.
	Just in support, yeah, friends of him.
	Wow, John.
	You know, the NBA logo was designed after him, wasn't it?
	Yeah, Jerry West.
	Jerry West.
	I think that's what's cool about Robert Kennedy.
	It's just he's got like an open.
	Like you might turn around with him and like Sirhan, Sirhan's there, the guy who like killed his dad.
	Yeah.
	And Bobby, you know, Robert Kennedy is just like, listen, what are we, you know what I mean?
	He's willing to.
	We're not going to hold grudges.
	Yeah, he's willing to support the super pad.
	He understands the vax is not great.
	Like that would be great.
	You just turn around and you're like, Cheryl's like, Sir Han's here.
	And, you know, it was strange for Bobby, but Sirhan is a big supporter of Bobby because he's really, Sirhan's really concerned with BlackRock buying up all the houses.
	So we leave the past in the past.
	And Sirhan Sirhan, get up here, you big nut.
	So that's what I would love to see.
	You big nut.
	That's what I would love to see.
	Dude, Cheryl and Bobby in a full-on embrace.
	Sirhan Sirhan's in the middle of both of them.
	And Sirhan's got a Kennedy for president shirt with Mel Gibson.
	And she's like, he canvasses for Bobby.
	He calls people.
	Hi, this is Sirhan Sirhan.
	Yes, the one, the same one.
	And I support Robert F. Kennedy Jr. because I think the medical industrial complex should be transparent.
	And then like somebody on the other end of the phone, South Carolina is like, what the hell is going on in this country?
	And then somebody would literally say, they'd be like, I wasn't sure about Sir Hans.
	I wasn't sure about Bobby Kennedy, but Sir Han Sirhan knocked on my door the other day.
	And if he supports him, if he supports him, he really convinced me that this is the way to go.
	This is the right way to go here.
	Yeah, dude.
	Bro, you're so funny, man.
	God, I haven't laughed this much.
	I don't think we're going to be.
	We had a great time.
	It's a great podcast.
	In my whole life, dude.
	Well, that might be an overstatement, but this is fun.
	If we had Deep Roy to come in and finish it out, like Whitney and Deep Roy to come in here, she would do it.
	She'd leave her a baby on her.
	They'd be like, we got a great baby.
	We got Deep Roy.
	Well, her baby's also charming a snake.
	So the baby is going to be fine.
	The baby's fine.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, the baby's going to be fine.
	But yeah, I just wonder, do you think there's any way that Bobby Kennedy could win?
	Well, Trump could go.
	Trump could go get arrested.
	I don't think it'll happen.
	I think all of the people are going to be able to do that.
	All the charges are ruling Trump dot.
	They're all bullshit.
	They're all like he inflated the price of a toilet he bought in Morocco.
	It's the most ridiculous.
	But some of the charges.
	He also does have a granite.
	It's like, guys, remember you told us that he was like the Russian president?
	No, I remember all of that.
	They couldn't prove any of that.
	And now they're like, he said it was quartzite.
	It's just quartz.
	That's a man-made stone.
	You're like, guys, you went left on this.
	This didn't really work out for you.
	I wish he would have started that.
	I would believe that he fucking that he shits at a couple of construction companies countertops.
	100%.
	100%.
	Yeah, but he could have some complications with that.
	But Biden could pass away.
	Biden has passed away.
	Biden, we know what they're going to try to do to him.
	they're going to have him geppettoed up they're going to have a fucking They're going to get involved.
	And so you have this interesting scenario where you have one candidate who's maybe in jail and the other candidate is on like an experimental new cocktail of drugs.
	We don't know the side effects.
	We have no idea what's going on.
	It could be roller skating.
	It's crazy.
	Racism.
	Chewing on your face.
	We don't know what's going to happen.
	We don't know it.
	And look at the scientists, by the way, make no mistake, scientists at Pfizer right now are sitting down with members of the Biden campaign and going, here's the bad news.
	We don't know what happens after.
	We know it gives him energy.
	We know it makes him clear-headed.
	We know it gives him the ability to speak.
	What can his valves handle?
	What PSI?
	What PSI can his aortas handle right now.
	We don't know what else happened.
	So, you know, we don't have an option.
	We're just shooting them up with this and putting them on stage.
	Do they have to debate each other?
	Does that have to happen?
	I imagine that it will.
	And they, you know, when it terms hat, you got somebody smarter than me would know.
	It's happened every single election.
	It'd be weird if it didn't happen.
	It'd be very weird.
	Wow.
	It would be very weird.
	But anyone could throw their hat in at the last minute.
	Oh, you like Bloomberg tried?
	Did you remember that?
	Lil Mabu.
	Anyone could come in and just, it's yours now.
	I mean, somebody could try.
	Bloomberg got shellacked.
	David Brusso might try, even though he's Haiti.
	He's like on a vineyard.
	He's fucking.
	He's on a vineyard somewhere, just wine drunk, telling people he's the president.
	Just watching home cameras, making sure there's no squatters heading.
	Michelle Obama could get involved.
	I don't think she would win, though.
	She, I think, had some heat, but it's kind of like died down.
	Well, if Trump, say if Trump went to jail or something happened, they made it so he couldn't run.
	And if Biden is too old to run, Kennedy, if he could get in, could actually fucking win.
	That's the weirdest part.
	Dude, a thousand percent.
	But, you know.
	Because I would just love to see somebody get in who fucking thinks, hates all these monopolies and all of that kind of stuff.
	Like, dude, everything's starting to be the same.
	Like, I lived in Nashville and, like, the main, they had this quaint street there called 12 South, right?
	It was cute, nice, fun.
	You go take a date there.
	You go on a walk.
	All the shops were like localized for the most part.
	And now they've just, they've taken that and they're putting in like a rag and bone.
	It's just, it's horrible, bro.
	It's all the same corporation.
	And it's all the same.
	If you're in New York City, they have Capital One cafes.
	Wow.
	They're just let, they have people come to the bank.
	They're not even pretending anymore.
	They just want to have a latte in the bank.
	They go, get a latte and sit down.
	We talk about what you owe.
	Let's talk about how in trouble you are.
	Come get a latte.
	Yeah.
	You know what that conversation is?
	That woman's telling her, she go, we're going to shut it off.
	We'll shut it off.
	Yeah.
	We'll shut the lights off.
	Yeah.
	You have a young mixed lady who's applying for a, probably wants to open up a dip in dots or something at the mall without.
	No, somebody probably went in there and was like, I want a small business loan.
	Yeah.
	And then the older woman goes, let me tell you something right now.
	Look at me.
	This coffee is the last thing you're going to buy.
	We're shutting it off.
	We're shutting it down.
	That's where they have Capital One Cafe so that you could come in there and drink coffee and be told you're done.
	They're taking you out.
	Have a free coffee.
	Wow.
	Every consultation is like this guy telling her, he goes, I know it's all fun and games now, but what's going to happen is we're going to raise the rates on all your cards.
	Your payments are going to go up and we're going to begin to start putting liens and judgments on you.
	On your family.
	On your family, you won't be able to get a job.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	You won't be able to get a job.
	We're going to repossess your fucking uncle.
	And then they give you like, they take one of those, like the ply or little tweezers, and they just give you a little scone.
	Wow.
	You just put a scone on the plate.
	There you go.
	You're done.
	They just look at you.
	They go, you're done.
	They're going to see this.
	She's going to see this.
	That's all the mortgage payments that were frozen for you during COVID.
	Watch what I do to them on my computer.
	Watch how I make them triple.
	And this couple has no idea what's about to happen.
	She goes, you see that?
	We froze your mortgage for 18 payments.
	That's 18 payments that you owe.
	Now we're going to add on the back interest.
	Now watch what you owe.
	For $300, though, if you let us live stream while you realize that your mortgage payments are going to be that it's all frozen, if you let us live stream that we'll take $300 off of the cost of your mortgage.
	I mean, this guy's like, he's like, so here's where you went into the hospital for the seizure.
	That's $52,000.
	You see?
	Now, because you put that on a credit card, you are not in what's called medical debt.
	You are in debt to us and we will take it off.
	What about this Chuck Schumer guy, dude?
	I keep, everybody I hear about, he just like has like the whole Democratic Party.
	He's just a Wall Street guy.
	But it's like healthcare.
	He just has it all fucking...
	Well, Chuck Schumer's one of those guys who like...
	He's like the geppetto of dirty healthcare.
	Yeah, because he's a, you know, he's like beholden to Wall Street and the big companies.
	It's just sick, man.
	They're all old, dude.
	All these boomers need to step aside.
	Our country's being run by like 80-year-old boomers.
	Well, there's no way it just like everything this guy's doing, it just seems like.
	It's all crime.
	It's all crime.
	Yeah.
	That's what I feel like.
	It's all crime.
	It's all Batman villains.
	Yes.
	It's all Batman villains.
	It's like Dick Tracy villain.
	Remember that?
	Like the prune.
	Oh, yeah.
	Lips, lips mandless.
	Yeah, and the prune.
	Yeah.
	It's like that's who's this is the prune.
	There's eyebrows harper right there.
	Yeah, and they're like out here telling us, can we watch whatever he's saying?
	This woman has a crazy jaw.
	This is about Chuck Schumer.
	He's like.
	She's got like a Matt Reif jaw.
	Yes, she looks like it.
	This woman is carved.
	She looks like Schwarzenegger's ex-wife, Shriver, maybe?
	Yeah, Maria Shriver.
	She does have a little bit of that.
	She's got a very strong jaw.
	The nicotine pouches pose a danger to teens as they use them as an alternative to e-cigarettes.
	Pouch packed with problems.
	High levels of nicotine.
	So today I'm delivering a warning to parents.
	Fuck this.
	Now he's selling.
	You know he's selling this and even lower.
	Right after this press conference, he's got a garbage bag full of vapes and he takes them out back and just sells them to kids.
	Oh, yeah.
	There's no, by the way, he'll get like the vape people will call him and donate a lot of money to him.
	And like the next week, he'll be out there.
	He'll be like, you know, kids are very stressed out.
	And is it the worst thing in the world that they go out and take a puff?
	A couple puffs off of Pineapple Father.
	They have the saddest names.
	Yeah, right.
	Is this the worst thing in the world to relieve a little stress?
	Yeah, watermelon hope.
	You didn't get asked to your eighth grade dance?
	Yeah.
	You want to go out there and just blow a little air?
	You want to suck a little cranberry prompt?
	Get a little peach smoke.
	Oh, this guy is, well, this right here, this is about the, are they saying they're outlawing Zins?
	We're at a New York Nick.
	Yeah, they want the FDA to look into it, saying they're trying to sell the children.
	Dude, fuck this guy.
	This guy, there's nothing about this guy to me seems trustworthy.
	No, he's not, he doesn't care.
	He doesn't.
	You're right.
	He's selling something on the back end.
	He has some back end deal.
	He's like, people are coming to him going like, this is in stuff fucking up our stuff.
	He's like, okay, he doesn't care.
	Chuck Schumer doesn't care if kids are addicted to drugs.
	No.
	He does not care at all.
	Nope.
	It's just, I mean, but he's the one I think that has a lot to do with the monopolizing of the, you know, that's the thing, man.
	He's just basically like, hey, I'm here to tell you that I'm for people.
	And he's been in there forever.
	You're not supposed to be there forever.
	So dirty.
	That guy's been in there forever.
	Do you know how dirty you have to be to be in there forever?
	He's forever in there.
	Yeah.
	Get him out, man.
	That's the number one rule.
	Wall Street money reigns on Schumer.
	Yeah.
	11 million on the Senate since the beginning of the year.
	This was 2009.
	This guy's been doing this forever.
	Wow.
	Imagine how much money this fucking dirtbox is.
	This fucking guy has been doing this forever.
	If you have anything to do with this dude, to me, feels like fucking bad news, bro.
	And you know, his niece is a comedian.
	Is she really?
	Allie Wong.
	Oh, I didn't even know that.
	And she's in beef, too.
	I'm obviously joking.
	It's not Ali Wong.
	It's the one with the same name.
	Yeah.
	But it's not her fault.
	No.
	It's no one's fault.
	Well, what he's doing is his fault.
	It's his fault.
	But if he gave a fuck about health.
	Unless she's selling vampires.
	Right.
	That'd be crazy, right?
	If she's in the Zen band.
	Women's lib puffers.
	She's like selling Zin and Vegas to women who've been like victims of sexual assault.
	She's like, they should have the right to puff.
	They should have the right to Zin.
	Puff the pain away.
	Healthy sex is the flavor of it.
	healthy sex Kiwi.
	But no, dude, if that guy thinks he's going to take Zins away, bro, he's out of his...
	Dude, that's not the big...
	Do you know how crazy you have to be?
	Like, it's like Gavin Newsome, like, they were trying to ban.
	I forget what they were trying to ban, but they were all going nuts about something in California.
	I'm like, there's people straight up on a 101 running across it with their dog in their hands.
	Yeah, here we go.
	They're banning these food chemicals, which is good.
	That's all nice, right?
	California Governor.
	Gavin Newsome has signed a landmark law aimed at banning red dye number three and other potentially harmful food additives and consumer goods.
	It's like, okay, that's great.
	But also, like, how about we address some of the other issues?
	Right.
	Like, yeah, like the fact that some homeless people, I've said this before, stole a bunch of high school band equipment, right?
	And they live in the park.
	They live in the park near me.
	And the problem is they're not even good.
	No, they're not good at all.
	That's the problem.
	The unfortunate thing for the area is that they practice at around 2.40 in the morning.
	And I respect the wanting to get good.
	Oh, look, I get it because we all did that when we were starting.
	You've got to get the reps in.
	But the problem is they're not together because sometimes people will even hear it.
	It's like you need a conductor.
	That's where you don't have an issue.
	Their conductor is not focused.
	They have three drums and a second chair clarinet or flautist.
	A lot of them have a problem with authority.
	The middle of the night.
	You'll just hear the, it's like, sometimes it's like Benny and the Jets or it's like it's that Love the Way You Lie by Rihanna.
	And sometimes you hear a little bit of it and it is impressive.
	Like you hear the beginning of it and you go, oh, they finally got it.
	And then by the middle of Love the Way You Lie, everyone's doing something different because the conductor is just not focused.
	Yeah, the conductor, we need more uppers for these conductors that are living in our time.
	And I want to stand there and watch you burn.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, that's what it has to be.
	What was that article about?
	Was that it?
	Oh, but you're going to have a better, if you want to take Zins away from you.
	You're taking fucking Zen the last thing.
	People going to college?
	People need to choose something at this point in their life.
	We have adult males whose wives have left them.
	They have Zen body pillows, right?
	That's all they can do.
	Yeah, you can't, you'll never take our Zen.
	That guy, dude, you have better luck taking guns from people than Zins.
	Right.
	People need it.
	In fact, I think I would load a gun with Zins, right?
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Walk into a Kappasig house and just fire it into the jaws of everybody in there.
	I'm 1,000% with you.
	You cannot take the fucking, the last thing that they have.
	No, you can't.
	You know?
	It's just all dirty healthcare.
	I wonder how, though.
	That's what I don't know.
	They feed us poison, so we buy their cures.
	I don't know what the bottom says.
	But it says Surhan, Surian supports RFC.
	Dude, it's been quite a time.
	Tim Dylan, I want to come on your show, man.
	Please, next week, anytime you want, let me know.
	That's great.
	February, like second week of February.
	Whenever you want to do it, we'll do it.
	Okay.
	Yeah, we have a studio in LA and New York, so whichever one you want to do.
	LA, it's great.
	Thank you for having me.
	I always have so much fun with you.
	Dude, thanks so much, man.
	Yeah, dude.
	It's a lot of fun.
	This is a blast.
	Ladies and gentlemen, Tim Dylan, thanks, Tim.
	Thank you, folks.
	Now, I'm just floating on the breeze, and I feel I'm falling like these leaves.
	I must be cornerstone.
	Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind I found.
	I can feel it in my bones.

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