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April 25, 2023 - This Past Weekend - Theo Von

02:29:55

E441 Glenny Balls

Glenny Balls is an entertainer, co-host and podcaster at Barstool Sports. He is often seen as the sidekick on “Sundae Conversations” with Caleb Pressley, and hosts his own podcast “Only Stans” where he interviews the women of OnlyFans. Glenny Balls joins Theo Von on a new episode of This Past Weekend to chat about growing up Long Island Italian, sidestepping Satan, the insane way he got a job at Barstool, what people don’t know about Caleb Pressley, lovemaking to Billy Joel, and much more. Glenny Balls: https://www.instagram.com/glennyballs/ ------------------------------------------------ Tour Dates! https://theovon.com/tour New Merch: https://www.theovonstore.com ------------------------------------------------- Sponsored By: Celsius: Go to the Celsius Amazon store to check out all of their flavors. #CELSIUSBrandPartner #CELSIUSLiveFit https://amzn.to/3HbAtPJ BetterHelp: Visit https://betterhelp.com/theo today to get 10% off your first month. ExpressVPN: Visit https://expressvpn.com/theo to get an extra 3 months of ExpressVPN free. RTX: Visit https://rtxaustin.com and use code THEO to get discounted rates for regular badge prices. Morgan & Morgan: If you’re ever injured, visit https://forthepeople.com/thispastweekend or dial Pound LAW (#529). Their fee is free unless they win. Raising Cane’s: Satisfy your Cane’s fix fast by ordering through their app, online at https://raisingcanes.com, or stop by your local restaurant. DraftKings: Download the app now and use code THEO! New customers can bet just $5 on a pre-fight moneyline and get $150 in bonus bets if their fighter wins. Minimum age and eligibility restrictions apply. See notes below. Call (800) 327-5050 or visit gamblinghelplinema.org (MA), Gambling Problem? Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY), If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisis counseling and referral services can be accessed by calling 1-800-GAMBLER (1-800-426-2537) (CO/IL/IN/LA/MD/MI/NJ/OH/PA/TN/WV/WY), 1-800-NEXT STEP (AZ), 1-800-522-4700 (KS/NH), 888-789-7777/visit ccpg.org (CT), 1-800-BETS OFF (IA), visit OPGR.org (OR), or 1-888-532-3500 (VA). 21+ (18+ NH/WY). Physically present in AZ/CO/CT/IL/IN/IA/KS/LA(select parishes)/MA/MD/MI /NH /NJ/ NY/OH/OR/PA/TN/VA/WV/WY only. VOID IN ONT. Eligibility restrictions apply. Bonus bets (void in MA/NH/OR): Valid 1 per new customer. Min. $5 deposit. Min $5 pre-fight moneyline bet. Bet must win. $150 issued as six (6) $25 bonus bets. Bonus Bets are non-cashable and cannot be withdrawn. Bonus bets must be wagered 1x and stake is not included in any returns or winnings. Bonus Bets expire 7 days (168 hours) after being awarded. Promotional offer period ends 5/28/23 at 11:59PM ET. See terms at sportsbook.draftkings.com/mmaterms. ------------------------------------------------- Music: "Shine" by Bishop Gunn: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3A_coTcUek&ab_channel=BishopGunn ------------------------------------------------ Submit your funny videos, TikToks, questions and topics you'd like to hear on the podcast to: tpwproducer@gmail.com Hit the Hotline: 985-664-9503 Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: https://www.theovon.com/fan-upload Send mail to: This Past Weekend 1906 Glen Echo Rd PO Box #159359 Nashville, TN 37215 ------------------------------------------------ Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheoVonClips Shorts Channel: https://bit.ly/3ClUj8z ------------------------------------------------ Producer: Zach https://www.instagram.com/zachdpowers/ Producer: Colin https://instagram.com/colin_reiner Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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	It's the NBA playoffs, that right.
	That right.
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	I have some new tour dates to announce.
	I will be in Phoenix, Arizona on April 30th at Arizona Financial Theater.
	That'll be the biggest show I've ever done now.
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	Guilford, New Hampshire, June 20th, July 20th, I'm sorry, at the Bank of New Hampshire Pavilion.
	And Windsor, Ontario, Ontario.
	On August 18th at the Coliseum at Caesars, Windsor.
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	On August 20th at the Fallsview Casino.
	Those tickets are available now.
	Get all your tickets at theovan.com slash T-O-U-R.
	Thank you for getting tickets through there and nowhere else.
	Praise God.
	We got new merch.
	Check out that Root Beer hoodie.
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	And thank you for the love at theovonstore.com.
	Today's guest is an entertainer.
	He's that ravioli baby.
	You know, he's everything, dude.
	He's a damn, he's Super Mario's second cousin who runs a bakery low-key.
	You know what I'm saying?
	He's that beautiful man, an Italian.
	And we're going to learn more about him.
	You know him from Barstool as the, he's that side slurper, that lactose monkey on the edge of Sunday conversations.
	And he is also the host of his OnlyStans show, where he interviews OnlyFans content creators.
	This is our first time really getting to know each other.
	I'm grateful for his time.
	Today's guest is Glenny Balls.
	Shine that light on me I'll sit and tell you my stories Shine on me And I will find a song I will sing I'm gonna stay I'm gonna stay Balls, baby.
	Good to see you, dude.
	I'm very excited to be here.
	This is exciting.
	Yeah, is it?
	So people say Glenny, they say balls.
	What are they?
	Dude, it's a lot of Glenny.
	It's a lot of Glenny.
	I prefer balls.
	People call me Mr. Balls.
	I like that.
	I've got a lot of Glenjamin balls.
	It's a very easy word to play on, Glenn or Balls.
	But I kind of like balls.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	I grew up with Glenn though, so I'm still getting used to Glenny.
	Really?
	So Glenn is, are you a family name?
	Are you like a Balls the Fifth or something?
	My dad's name is Glenn, actually.
	My dad and his brothers are all G's.
	Greg, Gary, and Glenn.
	So I'm a junior.
	Oh, wow.
	So you, and is that like a tradition?
	What kind of family are you guys?
	Italian.
	You guys are Italian?
	I don't think it's necessarily a tradition, though.
	Yeah.
	But I don't know.
	Maybe my grandparents just said, fuck it, we're all going to do G's.
	My grandpa's name was Greg, too.
	So then my uncle Greg was a junior.
	It's all G's.
	A lot of G's.
	It's a G thing.
	Oh, I like that.
	Yeah.
	And I wonder if G is like a power letter or something.
	What's a good power letter?
	Like if you had to run in a room and like say there's a fire or something, right?
	I would say M. M. Yeah.
	Something about it right in the middle.
	Yeah.
	Don't worry.
	I'll get us the rest of the way.
	Something like that.
	M kind of, when you get through the alphabet, you're like J-K-L.
	You're like, shit's getting weird.
	And you're like, M. Off the top of my head, I'm saying M like a T. A T feels strong to me.
	Yeah, T feels pretty strong, doesn't it?
	Yeah, because it also has that look.
	We're like, okay, you can put something on top of me.
	I got this.
	M kind of has like four legs almost.
	You're like, we're going to get there.
	100%.
	B's got the tits, though.
	Ooh, why?
	Yeah, it looks like two tits, but the cat.
	Something about B doesn't do it for me.
	I feel like I want like a big straight line like a T on top or that quiet domey thing like the A has.
	Yeah, the A is kind of a C. A is like a...
	I look at G and I think of G as kind of a beta letter.
	G, P, Y, U. None of those seem good to me.
	Y is definitely...
	Things got a little, I don't want to say trans at the end of the alphabet, but it got very like we're doing something, something's happening.
	They just kind of said fucking at the end.
	There's five straight consonants?
	Yeah.
	Five consonants.
	You don't want to see five straight consonants.
	Yeah, they did, man.
	What's going on, man?
	Good to see you, bro.
	Yeah, I'm excited.
	I don't think I've seen you in a while.
	That was the last time I saw you at that Titans game, right?
	Oh, yeah.
	Yeah.
	That was a good time.
	Dude, yeah, you guys were in the, like a suite box or something.
	Yeah, I think it's like, I guess it's like the influencer suite they have there.
	Yeah, which feels weird to say.
	Well, they had anybody that was an influencer too, there, and it was in Tennessee.
	And so you have anybody that like people that like you have somebody from Remington shotgun, you know, you have very much like, you know, you have like people that deal with 4-H and Animalia in there.
	You have like country singers.
	You know, it has more of a southern kind of western gamut they have out there.
	Yeah, I think that day, like the VP of Hattie Bees was in there.
	I think Gary Clark Jr. was in there that day.
	Who's Gary Clark Jr.?
	He's like a blues singer.
	Oh, really?
	Yeah, I think Gary Clark Jr. was there.
	I was too intimidated to say hi to him, but I think it was Gary Clark Jr.
	Oh, I think he was.
	Yeah, he was sitting at the table to the right with his pals.
	Yes.
	Yes.
	Oh, I know.
	You're probably wondering who it was because he has that vibe.
	Yeah.
	That's someone.
	And I finally figured out it was Gary Clark Jr., but he seemed like he didn't want to be bothered, so I didn't go talk to him.
	Yeah, I couldn't tell if it was like Sid, maybe like Sidney Poitier, or if it was maybe Leon Kravitz or whatever, you know.
	So I didn't know, but I remember meeting him.
	He's a nice guy.
	Yeah.
	What else, man?
	Oh, I heard you said you guys were talking earlier about when I walked in, you and the producer Zach were talking about going to like a kitchen or something.
	Oh, yeah.
	So yesterday we were in LA.
	We had a free day because, like I said, our shoot was super late last night.
	We shot at like 9, 10 o'clock.
	Right.
	And you guys were shooting Sunday Conversation.
	So for people that don't know, Glenny is the side kick, the background dancer for Caleb Presley's Sunday Conversation.
	And he works with Barstool.
	Barstool.
	Yes, sir.
	Yeah.
	So I just sit there neath the ice cream, try to make the guest awkward.
	Yeah.
	You've done it.
	Yeah, it's fun there.
	It's good.
	But yeah, no, so yesterday we just had a free day and I was telling your producer that I just hit up a few of the chefs I know at here and they just wanted to take me to lunch and that's like one of my favorite things.
	I just love hanging out with chefs.
	I find it so cool as a guy that obviously enjoys food.
	I enjoy food more than just eating it.
	Like I just I love the whole idea of culinary shit and food.
	So they took me to the Beverly Hills cheese shop, went like the back room, like in Goodfellows, put on some like classic Italian music.
	They just brought us out a bunch of these cheeses imported from Italy.
	Imported from Italy.
	Wait, hit the next one.
	Look at the table.
	Look at the back room.
	That was the back room.
	Oh, so there's a back room.
	It was a back room, full experience, brought us out a few paronies, plate of cheese, some sun-dried tomatoes, some stuffed cherry peppers.
	Oh, like this low-moisture mozzarella they just made.
	Buffalo mozzarella straight from Italy.
	They said it lands in LAX every Tuesday.
	So we kind of got the shitty one.
	It was a Monday, but it was still great.
	Yeah, you got the end of the week, Buffalo Mozzarella.
	But Buffalo Mozzarelle is kind of like that one thing.
	Even when it's bad, it's good.
	It was fast.
	And were they flying in from Buffalo?
	No, no, they flying in from Italy.
	Oh, wow.
	Because they use buffalo milk in Italy.
	That's why it's like Buffalo Mozore.
	Oh, and so it's, oh, it's out of the buffalo animal.
	Yes, sir.
	Oh, wow.
	Like the milk they uses from buffalo milk.
	So that's like, so if you're getting mozzarella from Italy, it's most of the time buffalo mozzarella, not what you would envision just straight fresh mozzarella is here.
	Yeah.
	Oh, I thought somebody was milking Dawson Knox up there or something, you know?
	Don't be a good-looking piece of cheese.
	It wouldn't be bad, right?
	So you take, so they, now, how does that even work?
	So I never, you get hooked up with like a lot of backroom.
	So you go into the back, like who comes out?
	Is it like the top, like the cheesemonger?
	A monger?
	He's a monger.
	Really?
	Yeah, so that's what happens.
	And what is a monger?
	Let's look it up, Zach.
	I believe it's cheesemonger because that's only from watching it's always sunny in Philadelphia.
	Charlie's dad was a cheesemonger.
	Because cheesemonger is somebody that would die for cheese, right?
	I think this man would die for cheese.
	This guy, Dom, we were with yesterday, he would definitely die for cheese.
	He would take one on the cheek for cheese.
	Yeah, a merchant who specializes in cheeses.
	Okay.
	And what's a monger just overall?
	Because they have a war monger I hear of all the time.
	Yeah.
	Sounds something like Mongolian, maybe.
	Yeah, what's just a monger?
	I gotta say like Genghis Khan being a monger.
	Like a broker or a dealer of something.
	Okay.
	Oh, a monger.
	Yeah, I guess.
	Why's a cheese monger, I guess?
	He deals cheese.
	So, okay, so you get there, the guy comes out.
	Yeah, so great chef, Aaron May, met us.
	We met Aaron May there, and then the guy came out and met Aaron, and then Dom came out and met Aaron, and they just said, let's go in the back, and then they literally brought us in the back like we were in good fellows, set up plates, forks, knives, plates for us, brought us out pironis, brought in these cheese plates.
	I had my first anchovy.
	They brought out apparently this fantastic, fantastic anchovy straight from Italy as well.
	Was it alive when they brought it out or not?
	It was in a can.
	It was like a little tiny aluminum can, but I equated it to my first time golfing.
	My first time on a golf course was Pebble Beach.
	And I told them yesterday that's what this was like because I'm having anchovy imported from Italy, first anchovy instead of on a shitty pizza.
	So the anchovy was damn good.
	Put a little anchovy on bread, a little buffalo mozzarella, some dried tomato on it.
	And then they had imported olive oil from Italy.
	It was an immaculate time.
	That's some more, right?
	It was immaculate, dude.
	Hey, if you're ever in LA and you want to go, we'll go.
	Yeah, man.
	I can't.
	See, I don't get offered things like that.
	It must be, because obviously, I guess people assume that you enjoy food.
	I very much do.
	And not in a stereotypical fat guy way.
	Like, I don't, this may shock you.
	I don't eat, like, I don't eat too much fast food.
	It's not like I'm going home and pounding Burger King every day.
	It just, I appreciate good food.
	Yeah.
	Good food is the best.
	It is good, man.
	I think I grew up on just really not good food, right?
	So I think there was no appreciation for food.
	Exactly.
	The same way.
	Like, I never grew up going to insanely nice steakhouses and whatnot.
	But even, I mean, there's also bad food that's fantastic as well.
	I was talking to a coworker of mine last week, Kate.
	She was saying she grew up always eating the very, very thin pork chops that once you cook them, you could see the white bubbles of fat pop up on them.
	Those are pretty damn good.
	I don't mind them.
	It is interesting how they have that fat bubble.
	Fat bubbles, if fat's bubbling, I'm taking it.
	It's the cheap pork chops, but they do the job.
	Yeah, I'm trying to think of something else that we, oh, you know what was big when I was young?
	Fish sticks.
	Really?
	You ever do fish sticks?
	I never did.
	I never did.
	Maybe, I don't know if that was maybe a Louisiana thing.
	There was more fish sticks by you, but I'm also, I also grew up by the water too, but I never dabbled in a fish stick.
	What is it, I guess, irregularly?
	What about a warm clam or something come across the table once in a while?
	Yeah?
	Yeah.
	Never, never at home.
	I don't know if I can.
	One time I tried to make clams in my house, and it was a massive failure.
	You have to, because you really have to wait to make sure if they're alive or not.
	If they don't open immediately, they're still alive.
	So if you have to pry it open, it's dead and you can't eat it.
	So that was troubling to me.
	And then I tried to talk about the barbecue.
	It didn't work out.
	And how do you know if they're alive?
	You just whisper in there?
	How do you even know?
	I believe what the process was was you put them in under hot water.
	You boil, you boil them.
	And then the ones that crack open are dead.
	And then that's the ones you eat.
	Because I was on a big clam kick during COVID.
	During COVID, I tried to just expand my culinary life.
	Yeah.
	And it was during COVID.
	So it was probably three years ago now.
	But the ones that don't open, dead.
	Big dead.
	They're dead.
	Dead.
	And you can't pry them open and eat them because that would be in the dead thing.
	Oh, yeah.
	And you don't want to, I think there's something like even in the clam culture, you don't, like, after something's buried, you don't go get, you know, get in the coffin with it.
	Absolutely not.
	And then we can't cook it.
	We got to eat raw clams.
	I wonder if I were to make a baked clam, though, if I could have a dead baked clam.
	I don't, that's a good question.
	See, that's the problem because then they're all closed, right?
	So you don't know the difference?
	Well, the baked clam is usually they'll like take the clam, they'll chuck the clams, take the clam out, and then put it in like on the half shell and then, but like bake it so it gets cooked.
	I mean, everything is dead before it gets cooked.
	Yeah, but raw clam obviously can't eat a dead one, I guess.
	It always interests me that clam is an oyster living things.
	Oh, well, someone told me one time that clams are like oysters that got molested when they were kids and never grew up.
	Yeah, I could kind of see it.
	I mean, when I do envision clams and oysters, I think of oysters as maybe, say, the grandfather of shellfish.
	Yeah.
	They're definitely the elders.
	They're the senior citizens.
	Oh, they definitely, they have like a newspaper under their arm.
	Oh, yeah.
	Maybe a walker.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Trying to just wrangle in a clam to talk, tell them about the old days.
	Yeah.
	And then the mussels, too.
	I love a good muscle, but those are the big three.
	It's hard to denote sometimes the difference for me between clams and mussels.
	Let's look at what is the purpose of oysters in the ocean, Zach.
	Let's look it up because we've had recently, we've actually been talking about this on here, that oysters are like a...
	Yeah, oysters are a crucial component of global ocean health.
	These animals, oh, they're animals, filter and clean the surrounding water and provide habitat, food, and jobs.
	Wow.
	So they're kind of like a temp service or something, maybe, I guess.
	And their reefs could also serve as barriers to storms and tides.
	That's pretty sick.
	Wow.
	So they got a lot of responsibility.
	How do they filter?
	Can you look up how oysters filter in the ocean?
	Because if they're filters, and this is the crazy part, that if their filters, oysters clamps and other shellfish help remove excess nitrogen from waters by incorporating it into their shells and tissues as they grow.
	That would make sense.
	I feel like I've never seen a clean oyster shell.
	Hmm, it's a good clean.
	They're all pretty damn dirty.
	They've all got a little bit of dirt in there.
	They're sacrificing themselves for the ocean, apparently.
	Which is interesting.
	You learn something new every day.
	But that's crazy.
	So say you broke into like a trap house, right, somewhere.
	Yes, sir.
	And there's some dude in there.
	He's dirtied up, right?
	He's got soil.
	He even had a little bit of soil around his mouth, right?
	And then you just put, right?
	You put horseradish on him.
	You were dumping horseradish on him?
	Well, because that's where like an oyster is.
	Yeah, dude.
	You know, Horserash would take him out pretty quickly.
	So, Horserad is so kinda like That would be his kryptonite.
	But then you eat him.
	Like, that's what you're doing.
	You're basically...
	Remember your grandfather's car filter?
	He would turn off the little screw thing.
	He'd open.
	He'd pull that filter out.
	Yes, sir.
	So that's kind of what we're eating.
	Dude, I would eat anything with horseradish on it.
	Honestly, I don't care.
	Horseradish is damn good.
	It is good.
	Horseradish is fan.
	A little cocktail sauce on it as well.
	Oh, yeah.
	Yeah, you're right.
	Who am I?
	You know what I'm saying?
	What am I?
	I don't want to ruin that for anybody.
	So you guys, so take me through this first anchovy.
	It's right there.
	It's by itself.
	He brings out a canister of them.
	How many is in there?
	He brings out a canister.
	There was about six of us there.
	I would say we each got to try one, maybe two extra.
	So I'm going to go with there was about eight in the canister.
	There was a little tiny oval thing like this.
	And like I said, I was lucky enough to be there with Christian Petroni and Aaron May, two world-class chefs.
	So Aaron said, you got to try your first oyster.
	I said, pal, you're making it for me.
	So I got this wonderful chef making it for me.
	We had this great bread that I think they said this exclusive elderly lady down the street bakes for them every day.
	Had the bread.
	Yeah, that really does look gross, the envisioning of the anchovy just by itself.
	That really does not look good.
	And that's the buffalo mozzarella on the plate there as well.
	But little bread, buffalo mozzarella, anchovy, sun-dried tomato.
	He made it for me.
	Squished it all down, dollop of olive oil on top.
	It was a delightful bite.
	Little salty, little salty, very salty, but still, I'm very happy I tried it.
	Those, the anchov are very salty, right?
	Extremely.
	From what I know, I mean, I'm an anchovy virgin.
	I just lost my virginity 24 hours ago.
	Damn.
	And they, now, why is it, I noticed when you say like mozzarelle, and I've noticed when people say salaam, they don't, when they go back to Italy, they take off one, like we added a letter.
	Yeah, so I think, I think they did it and we took the letter off from, from my knowledge.
	I believe that the thing is when the Italians like came over to America, their broken dialect cut off a cut off a vowel at the end.
	So let's say, I only really say mozzarella, but like mozzarella, say mozzarella.
	Prosciuto, they say prosciute.
	Capicola, they say gabagul.
	No.
	Yeah.
	The gaba gul goes a little overboard.
	I can't go to an Italian deli with a straight face, but like, let me get the gabagoul.
	I can't do that with a straight face, but I can say, oh, I'll have the mozzarella.
	But that's pretty much it.
	Yes.
	Prosute, gabagul, regatta, people say regat.
	Yeah.
	But like parents say that, like grandparents in New York, et cetera, et cetera.
	But I only really say mozzarell in my normal day.
	Calamari, they say galamad.
	No way.
	Yeah, but I can't go into a deli with a straight face.
	And be like, let me get a hero with prosute and gaba go on it.
	But mozzarella, I say.
	Or some vagina.
	Sounds great.
	Throw it on there.
	I'm not going to say no to that one.
	I mean, I just wonder, like, what other, because yeah, I guess it makes it sound fancier because you're almost saying, I'm going to be the last letter.
	Sure.
	Yeah.
	It's like, I don't need to just put the letter on there.
	I'm going to show you in my ambiance or my.
	And at the end of the day, they're just a lot more fun to say.
	Yeah.
	They're a lot more fun to say.
	Like Ricada, that.
	Ricot.
	Rigotte.
	What's more fun?
	Sitting there saying ricotta or saying regott?
	Rigott.
	Exactly.
	Yeah, it does.
	But it's interesting letters, huh?
	Yeah, a lot of vowels.
	We got a lot of vowels.
	The Italians?
	Yeah.
	Everything ends in a vowel.
	Mostly O's, A's.
	It's all my friend group.
	I think there's 11 of us, probably nine of us have vowel endings.
	And are your parents, like, fresh off the...
	I don't even know.
	I don't even know what generation in my family even came from, Italy, honestly.
	But we're pretty Americanized Italian.
	About Americanized as Italian as it comes.
	But we're on Long Island still, so everyone, it's really only Italian or Irish.
	That's pretty much it.
	Is it?
	Yeah, I like that.
	North Shore is very, there's a lot of Jewish folks up there.
	And then The south shore, where I'm from, it's literally just like Italian and Irish.
	Yeah.
	Do they have so that's where you so that's so that's where you grew up at?
	I was born originally in Corona, Queens.
	It's where my parents are from.
	And then we moved to Malvern, Long Island when I was probably, I don't know, four, four or five in that realm.
	So I grew up on Long Island.
	I always say where you grow up is where you went to high school.
	I think that's a fair assumption.
	I feel like that's your formative years.
	Where you went to high school?
	Yeah.
	Where you went to high school is where you're from.
	Now, in Italian culture, if a woman is like kind of, do you describe women like also as like relate them to like pastas or something?
	I was thinking maybe like this girl's a real vermicelli.
	This girl's a real forfale?
	Yeah.
	No, but we could.
	I mean, there's a lot of great pastas.
	There's papado.
	There's rigatone.
	I've never equated women to a pasta, though.
	Vermicelli is very like, it's almost like, she's a little thin.
	Yeah, you can go linguine there too as well.
	Is linguine even thinner?
	Linguine is pretty damn thin.
	It's like a very, very thin spaghetti.
	Vermicelli has to be thinner.
	Vermicelli.
	Can you look up vermicelli?
	I don't know.
	I want to make sure I know exactly what we're talking about.
	Dude, if I'm eating vermicelli, it's almost like I want to make sure its parents aren't home.
	It feels very...
	I mean, sorry, that is.
	Vermicelli is definitely thinner.
	Then Linguine?
	Yeah, okay.
	So there's vermicelli.
	Okay.
	We're just looking at images here.
	Can we get a do they have a chart somewhere?
	Look at that nest of vermicelli.
	Let's get a pasta chart up here.
	Yeah.
	My personal favorite is popardell, I think.
	I'm a popardell guy.
	See, I'm not even familiar with it.
	Ooh, there we go.
	Yeah, I like the farfale.
	That's really good.
	There's a good, great sausage dish by me that there's a sausage farfale.
	So I'm partial to that.
	But I mean, Penne is classic.
	If I could date one queen, though, maybe go with the Frusilli.
	Ooh, the Fersili.
	The Fusili, you don't know what you're getting, dude.
	And where is that one?
	It's like right there.
	Oh, in the middle and the top.
	It's like spirally looking like.
	Playing a mystery game.
	Oh, yeah.
	That one definitely had, you could see it having some bipolar issues.
	Let's go down a little bit.
	I want to see what else is on here.
	Ooh, that rigatone.
	Dr. Rigatone?
	Mm-hmm.
	I would say that's the classic.
	That's like just blonde blue eyes.
	Nothing better than that.
	It's an all-American classic.
	The rigatone, yeah.
	The rigatone.
	And what if you get that thick Asian girl?
	What's that one, that pad tie?
	Or what's the one that has like those egg noodles?
	Okay.
	What are the actual noodles on that?
	Yeah.
	I think it might be just egg noodles.
	Yeah.
	Because I don't think they could.
	I mean, they're kind of technically the same.
	I had Robin for the first time last week.
	I don't know what the.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	I just dove into it.
	A new place opened by my house, so I just said, fuck it, let's try it.
	And did you go alone?
	I went with my cousin and my dad.
	Okay.
	So is going to eat like at a new place, is that a family thing for you guys?
	No, honestly, we were at Easter and I was having a few beverages and I just told my little cousin that I want to go to the Ramen place.
	He said, I want to go too.
	So I said, you know what?
	Fuck it.
	I'll take the guy.
	I had a nice meal.
	It was fine.
	It was good for Monday night.
	I'll take a Monday night meal.
	I didn't have to cut up the Monday nights.
	I'll happily go.
	I'll go to the movies, mini golf.
	Yeah.
	Because now I'm just going to sit in my bed and watch YouTube all night.
	And what's the point of that?
	It's not fun.
	You just sit there and wait for enough time to pass to then go to sleep.
	So Monday nights stink.
	Monday, Tuesday, Wednesdays.
	Yeah, I guess there is something about it, maybe.
	That's like you're waiting for the fun to happen.
	Well, most people also work.
	You got to get some work.
	Those are kind of work days.
	Yeah.
	You know, like we're on a Tuesday right now.
	100%.
	So it's like we're able to get this done.
	Fridays sometimes are tougher to fit things in.
	You feel like the week is like, I kind of feel like the weekend's just about to get its period.
	I feel like it's just like everything is just about to come crashing down.
	I'm just a fan of the weekend, dude.
	You're right.
	I mean, basically Monday and Wednesday, I just sit around and do nothing.
	At night, I'm just sitting around.
	I'm doing nothing.
	Yeah.
	Just having dinner, waiting for maybe even Thursday, I'd like to do a nice dinner.
	Me and my friends have been doing dinner Thursdays, which is quite nice because now I'm old.
	I'm older.
	I appreciate, like I said, just a good meal.
	Good meal with pals is fine to me.
	It's like I like Thursday kick off the weekend.
	It kind of brings me back to high school.
	We used to go to Applebee's every Thursday night, a couple half-haps.
	Yeah.
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	Dude, there was something nice about trying to make love to somebody that worked at the Applebee's, wasn't there?
	I never tried.
	We never had any, we had a lot of waiters, not waitresses.
	But I could totally see it.
	Applebee's is a cool spot.
	It's a cool hookup spot for the olds.
	I saw one time I saw a mom I grew up with out there on a date one night.
	Tried to not make eye contact with her.
	I didn't make eye contact with her, thank God.
	But Applebee's, I'm sure they have nice deals, frankly.
	Yeah, well, I think Applebee's has kind of been, you know, in a lot of places, Applebee's is that first place you get to go.
	You know, it's like the first, for some places, the first restaurant, you know, like where I'm from, like my niece, I was talking to her yesterday and she's like, you know, my favorite restaurant is Jimmy John's.
	And I was like, well, that's, that's not really a restaurant, but it is a restaurant, depending on where you're at.
	100%.
	I've been learning that recently since we started Sunday conversation in the last few years.
	I've just been traveling so much.
	And that's like one of the first things I tell my friends when we're talking about kind of just even the middle of America or anywhere really.
	That's not a massive city.
	Like, if you're a kid in Indiana, your deli's Jimmy John's.
	Your pizza is Papa John's, which is crazy for my brain to think about, but that's just how it is.
	And I never realized that.
	And I told, I mean, not this thing's wrong with Jimmy John's.
	I love Jimmy John's.
	I'm a massive fan of Jimmy John's.
	I don't know how they do it so fast.
	And the bread is so good with the oil.
	But yeah, like any random person growing up, I guess their deli technically is Jimmy John's.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, it's interesting.
	That's kind of how you learn about even anything, seeing things like a mozzarella cheese or something like a, like some people, it's like, you know, they'll have like a one of those like Italian restaurants and they put a new like pasta and that's how you learn about the pasta.
	And I love seeing, I love seeing Italian restaurants wherever any random place throughout, let's say we're in Texas, nine out of ten names are literally just Paisanos.
	Those are just the names of all of them.
	It's crazy.
	I mean, I don't even know if there's ever been a ball of freshmen sorrel in Topeka, Kansas.
	Has there been?
	I have no idea.
	Maybe during Prohibition or something.
	Oh, yeah.
	When they were just when people were running out of alcohol and they were trying to suffice them with other stuff, you know?
	There were things to be sufficed by.
	Yeah.
	God, I guess it is pretty good.
	I'm trying to think if I know about a lot of different cheeses or not.
	I didn't until yesterday.
	I don't.
	I'm not a massive, massive cheese person, though.
	It doesn't rev my engine.
	Really?
	Not really.
	You just went into a back room with a bunch of men you didn't know to get it.
	Well, hey, I was told to go up there.
	I said, these chefs are taking me to lunch.
	I'm letting them rock.
	I'm letting them go.
	I mean, that would be like going to play basketball with Michael Jordan and me picking the teams.
	Okay, yeah.
	So I said, I'm letting you guys rock.
	And hey, it was great.
	The cheese was great.
	I mean, I also counter said that as I would say a bite of good fresh mozzarella is up there for one of my favorite bites I've had just in life in general.
	But outside of that, cheese doesn't absurdly do it for me.
	Yeah.
	Now, a lot of people are wanting to know, and I'm still wanting to know.
	So you had six anchovies in the can.
	It was eight anchovies.
	There were six of you guys.
	What do you do with those last two?
	I don't know who took the other last one, but one of the chefs did say I should take the last one because it would only be my second anchovy of all time.
	So I had two of the anchovies.
	So I guess that was an anchovy glutton, but I enjoyed them.
	Did you change the way you ate it the second time?
	No.
	Same way.
	I said, because once again, the chef, Armee told me, have this anchovy.
	I said, dude, only if you chef it up for me again.
	If he's there, I want them to be the chefs, you know?
	Oh, yeah.
	I want them to be the guides, spiritual guides.
	There's something kind of, there's something, I don't want to say erotic, but there is something very sensual about getting a good food because you're putting it on your tongue.
	Yeah, dude.
	You know, people don't realize that a lot.
	A lot of times people are just like, I'm putting something in my mouth.
	You know, I'm having this.
	I'm getting it.
	I'm inhaling.
	I'm bringing it into me.
	But that tongue is right there, too.
	The tongue is very sexual.
	Hey, there's a lot of aphrodisiacs out there as well.
	Yeah, oysters.
	Oysters is big aphrodisiacs.
	Which is crazy because they collect junk out of the ocean.
	But it said they bring in nitrogen.
	Is nitrogen an aphrodisiac?
	I'm not totally sure what the rest of the aphrodisiacs are.
	I know Valentine's Day.
	What else?
	Ooh, Valentine's Day is a good one.
	Is nitrogen an aphrodisiac?
	Let me see.
	Ooh, traditional plant aphrodisiacs and male sexual dysfunction.
	That sounds like the opposite.
	It's the opposite to that.
	I've looked at it before, I'm sure.
	Chocolate, definitely.
	Figs, oysters, spicy chili peppers, strawberries.
	Can you put why is oysters an aphrodisiac?
	Ooh.
	The bivalves?
	What does it say, Zach?
	The bivalves do contain zinc, which has been found to be an essential nutrient for testosterone production in spermatogenesis, I assume.
	Dude, this could be really dumb.
	Isn't zinc what we make coins out of?
	Yeah.
	So you could suck on a damn nickel, boy, and get hard, probably.
	Why not, dude?
	Oh, especially if you're poor, dude.
	Nothing gets you hard into good nickels.
	Imagine a quarter.
	Oh.
	Imagine a silver dollar.
	Can't stop.
	Imagine a silver dollar.
	Bro, can't stop.
	Sucking all that for a month.
	Oh, I'm a peep in time, bro.
	I put a silver dollar on my tongue.
	I'm a peep in time.
	George Washington didn't know it hit him.
	Didn't know it hit him.
	So tell me how you grew up kind of in this Italian environment.
	And is it just you?
	Is there other women in the household?
	Is there other children?
	I'm actually an only child.
	No way.
	Yeah.
	Yep.
	And why did your parents stop with just you, you think?
	I don't really.
	You'd be a handsome child, huh?
	No, probably not.
	I was a skinny child until I always say I got coxaki, and then that kind of threw me off the rail.
	I couldn't eat for a few weeks.
	Oh, you got a disease?
	Kaksaki is like a few week disease, but I couldn't eat for like two months, and I just said I had to make up for lost time, and I've just been making up for lost time since, you know?
	Because I do have like photos of me when I was six, seven years old, and I was a skinny little, I was a skinny guy.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	And when you look at those photos, do you think, because some people look at weight as like an uncomfortable, I mean, how do you look at weight?
	What am I talking about?
	How do I look?
	I don't really know.
	I think it's more, I mean, I don't want to say it's a mindset.
	It's obviously not a mindset, but like I'm pretty, pretty happy with my, with my weight, per se.
	There was a time in my life where I was shockingly way bigger than I was now.
	Like, I think maybe like 50, 60 pounds bigger.
	And then I was like, I was like, fuck, dude.
	I'm a large gentleman.
	I got a trouble.
	I should probably stop this.
	Because I was like, I mean, it was just, I was eating a shitload of this.
	I was eating some, like, there's no reason to have a chicken color with bacon sandwich for lunch every day.
	There's just no need for it.
	Not every day.
	So then I cut that off.
	And then I cut that off.
	And I lost probably 20 pounds.
	And then COVID hit.
	And then I just stayed home and just like drank every night and ate grilled chicken every day and lost weight then.
	So now I'm like sitting at a steady like 290, 295 right now.
	You really weigh that much?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	You don't look that big.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	I'm going to play this clip whenever I walk on an airplane because I always feel bad walking on an airplane.
	Do you?
	Yeah, dude.
	You have no idea how much airplane stress I always have.
	So take me through that airplane stress.
	So you're, because yeah, you know, once you get to the airport, you know that you're big.
	Yeah, I know, I know quite literally everybody on this plane is looking at me saying, please don't sit here.
	That's why it's nice, though, because now I'm a Delta Diamond guy.
	No big deal.
	I get to order, I get to board the flight first.
	Yes.
	So at least I get that out of the way.
	But I mean, there was one time me, me, Caleb, and our girl Kelsey were traveling to Lake Tahoe from LA.
	So it was a quick flight, but our flight got canceled the night before.
	So we had to get on a Southwest flight last minute.
	And we got like the 54th opening on Southwest.
	There's his first come, first serve.
	So we were, we were the last people to sit down.
	And I was walking down the aisle.
	And literally, I felt like Forest Gump getting on the bus, knowing nobody wants you to sit there.
	There were only middle seats left.
	Then thank God, row, say, 23, I saw like a 12-year-old kid by the window.
	I said, you're wide, motherfucker.
	Just sat right next to him.
	We took out, but we, hey, we became friends.
	His name was Terry.
	He was a great kid.
	He was like 13. We bonded the whole flight.
	He was saying he was going to visit his grandparents in Reno.
	And we had a great time.
	We played baseball on his iPad together.
	He was great.
	But he said he saved my day because I was quite literally shitting bricks knowing every single person on this plane is telling themselves, please don't sit here.
	Please don't sit here.
	Please don't sit here.
	It's a shitty feeling.
	That'll make you want to lose a little weight.
	It's like that Plinko game kind of where you're like, but you don't want it to get in the, you don't want it to lay.
	The Southwest was quite literally like, it was a scary experience because there were only middle seats left.
	There were only middle seats left.
	And then there was maybe, maybe the idea that there was an aisle seat all the way in the back, but should I have risked that instead of sitting next to the 12-year-old?
	I went with the 12-year-old.
	Yeah.
	You got to make that.
	I went with the 12-year-old.
	And isn't it amazing that at that point you go to the warmth of children?
	You go to the kindness of a young child who has yet to determine in his head, hey, I don't like sitting.
	I don't want to sit next to this fat guy to the fix.
	Yes.
	Well, it was not that.
	Terry was a great kid, but it was also just he's smaller.
	He's a small guy.
	Okay, so he's a very small kid.
	So you guys put and matching up together.
	Yeah, there's almost made sense.
	It's a beautiful relief whenever someone ever, big skinny, sits next to you.
	It was like of mice and meat.
	Yes, that's a perfect example.
	And me and Terry, we bonded, we had a great time.
	Wow.
	Yeah, it was really nice, but it's always great.
	Like sometimes when you sit next to a toddler, you get lucky for a toddler sit next to you on a plane.
	That's always convenient.
	At work, we have a shorter gentleman.
	I like to sit next to him if we travel together.
	I've seen him.
	You guys did the.
	Yeah, yeah.
	We did our first Morgan Wall and Sunday Conversation.
	He took my place.
	You might have seen him in that.
	Yeah.
	You put the brother and then you snuck in the brother on Wallen.
	Yeah, well, what happened was we originally, when we first started Sunday Conversation, we were doing two.
	You know who Ron is?
	Ron was also doing them as well.
	So I went, I was pissed because at the time, I'm still a massive fan, but I always loved Darius Rucker.
	And that was the day they were doing like a four-place scramble, like with Wallen, Hardy, Darius, and Jayco.
	And then we had, me and Ron had a shoot with Doug Fluty in Melbourne, Florida.
	And they said, you're going to Doug Fluty.
	Zah's going to Troubadour to do the shoot with Wallen.
	And I said, fucking Zah's about to hang out all day with Darius, man.
	And I'm sitting here with Doug Flutie in a conference room in a Marriott in Melbourne Beach, Florida.
	That sucked.
	I was disappointed about that.
	Luckily, two years later, we did Darius on Sunday Conversation, and that was great.
	But at the time, it stung.
	It stung.
	Yeah, when the boss says, the boss says.
	Yeah.
	So you're growing up there an only child, right?
	And what kind of work are you in when you're doing, are you a funny guy?
	What kind of kid are you?
	And you're a thicker kid.
	You said you went through the disease, you got out of it, you got to start, and you started thickening up?
	Yeah, we thicked up.
	We thicked up pretty good.
	Did the whole family?
	Because sometimes there's kind of like a thing where a whole family will put on weight at the same time.
	Like something happens, a grandmother dies, or there's a, like a, not a power outage, but like a, um, you know, like a nuclear disaster or something, you know?
	No, I would say, I would say, not say so, but we're definitely a larger family.
	I would say half, half thicks, half non-thicks.
	Okay.
	But in like the, not the immediate family, like my aunts and uncles and whatnot.
	But growing up, yeah, I would just say, I would say a fun guy.
	I don't think, I don't think absurdly funny, but fun.
	I'll always hung out with the good guys.
	I'm still best friends with all my friends growing up.
	So I think relatively normal childhood.
	Catholic high school.
	I'm Catholic high school and grade school.
	That was interesting.
	Oh, wow.
	Because that's all boys in there, huh?
	No, we had co-ed.
	Our rival college high school was all dudes, but we were co-ed.
	They must have been so jealous of you guys.
	Yeah, dude.
	The thing, too, with them is there were three high schools in the area, Catholic high schools.
	Sacred Heart was all girls.
	Shamanadead was all boys, and then Kellenberg, where I went, was co-ed.
	So they all had Sacred Heart, I think, had Catillion, and Shaminad had Aquaprom.
	So then we always had to watch our few Sacred Heart or Shamanade friends try to match up.
	So they all had to get each other from a distance.
	And we actually had no prom at Kellenberg.
	Our prom got canceled for flaunting of affluence.
	And what, people being wealthy?
	Yeah.
	Definitely not me, but like other people I got canceled in 2006, our prom did.
	So I never had a problem.
	Damn.
	Yeah.
	That was the whole big thing.
	Colbert talked about it on Colbert report.
	Your prom got canceled.
	What happened?
	Your prom got canceled.
	Yeah.
	Did y'all do a fake prom somewhere?
	So our fucking prom, I guess our kind of prom, we did a boat ride around Manhattan.
	It's pretty fun.
	It was fun, but hey, let me tell you, as a larger gentleman that did not have sex in high school, it took a lot of stress away from not having to find a prom date.
	Oh, wow, what a relief, huh?
	It was like sitting next to a toddler on a plane.
	Seriously, it was quite nice.
	That I will say was fun.
	And then, yeah, I never had the prom, didn't have a prom.
	Dude, what if you don't think about that?
	You don't think about the other half of the school because it's good for the school.
	That's like, yeah, prom, this is it.
	I have a girlfriend.
	I have a boyfriend.
	I'm lucky.
	I'm, you know, unisex.
	I don't need anybody.
	I'm going to take it myself.
	Yeah.
	Like, but then there's like half the people that are like, fuck, I don't have anybody.
	I'm afraid to ask someone.
	My partner is ill or something.
	I've been molested.
	You know, just all kind of stuff.
	Yeah.
	Always two sides of the story.
	It was, so I enjoyed it.
	I didn't mind it.
	Fox, you're like, wow.
	Yeah.
	I said to myself, this is kind of nice.
	I was a little concerned, though, people were going to start taking dates to this boat ride.
	Luckily, they didn't.
	Right.
	And it was fine.
	We basically just hung out.
	Dude, do you remember how nerve-wracking it was?
	If somebody asked you to get a date, right?
	Like we had like Sadie Hawking, right?
	Where the kid had to, the girl had to buy you a shirt, right?
	And it was a matching shirt.
	Okay.
	So first off, my mom was like, don't pick out some girl that picks out shitty shirts.
	Like, right?
	You know, grandma already gets you shitty shirts every year.
	You need a good shirt.
	So now I have this pressure, right?
	And I'm not, you don't even get to pick.
	The girl picks you.
	Kind of like penguins.
	Is it women's picks it?
	I could be dumb, but I think women, no, sorry, men present the women with a pearl.
	My apologies.
	But yes.
	With a pearl?
	Yeah, I believe that's how they find it.
	They find like a pearl or something.
	That's how they propose to their ladies.
	Really?
	Yep.
	I think so.
	Wow, bring that up.
	I'm pretty sure.
	I believe it's a pearl.
	They definitely find something.
	I was watching an animal show one time and they like went to the end of the earth to find their thing to present their lady.
	I think you were watching maybe Ice Age or something.
	I think it's something like that.
	Using a pearl to propose?
	I think so.
	Because I'm not seeing anything on that.
	Maybe not a pearl, but definitely something.
	They have to find something and then give it to the lady.
	I'm pretty sure.
	How do penguins propose to one another?
	Oh, with pebbles.
	Pebbles.
	Sorry.
	A less fancy pearl.
	It's a very good point.
	That's all a pebble is, dude.
	Yeah.
	A pebble is just a pearl that she's in.
	She finds the smoothest pebble.
	Isn't that nice?
	Romance?
	People think romance is that, huh?
	That's a good point, isn't it?
	During courtship, a male penguin will find the smoothest pebble to give to a female as a gift.
	If she likes the offering, she'll place it in the nest, and the two will continue building up their little pebble mound in preparation for the eggs.
	That's actually beautiful.
	I didn't know that.
	Yeah, I'm crying right now.
	I didn't know that that was their beginning of the foundation for their nest for their eggs.
	That's fucking cute.
	Dude, that is so romantic.
	That's romantic as hell.
	Because first of all, to even be a penguin, right, and balance a little pebble.
	Yeah, and they don't, it's not like they look down at pebbles there.
	They got to go find the smoothest pebble.
	Yeah, and first of all, how do you even lift the pebble further?
	Because you can barely even look down.
	I don't think a penguin can look down.
	So you have to almost get the pebble way up here, look at it.
	Maybe kick it.
	Yes.
	But then how do you test if it's the smoothest?
	Oh.
	How about that?
	Penguins are wild.
	Look at the one of them giving it to the other one.
	Wow.
	With the beak he gives it.
	Dude, it's like when Harry met Sally.
	Yeah.
	Man, that's amazing.
	Is there something else really romantic that happens in nature?
	See if you can find some of nature's best romance.
	Because the only other thing I've seen is that lizard, that guy who's like a total perv that like puts like the big fake.
	Yeah, that's the only other thing I was going to say as well.
	There was, I'm pretty sure in one of those shows I was watching one time, I think it was some sort of a bird.
	He literally put on like a show you think you could dance-esque performance for this lady.
	Like he literally, it was unbelievable.
	He looked like it looked like Chris Brown.
	It was crazy.
	And then I think he actually the woman.
	So it really had a lot of dance.
	A lot of sea brown.
	It was beautiful to see.
	Flamingos dance for their love.
	Take us through that, Zach.
	Yeah, this article lists a couple examples, but flamingos dance for their love, I guess, in separate groups.
	They struck together in search of a mate.
	Seahorses, I guess, flirt a lot.
	Horny.
	Yeah.
	Wolves.
	Wolves mate for life.
	Now that's interesting.
	Wolves mate for life.
	Yeah, their packs are generally like nuclear families that comprise an adult.
	Oh, damn.
	Dude, did you possibly see that story out of Vegas about a month or two ago that some sort of dog, I think it was not, it wasn't a bulldog.
	I think it was maybe a pit bull, was adopted by a pack of wolves outside of Vegas and became their leader.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	Damn.
	Animal Control found him and took him back, but he became their leader.
	He was the leader of the pack.
	Wow.
	They didn't kill him and then let him become the leader.
	Yeah.
	White dogs.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Nevada rescued.
	Apparently he became the leader of the crew.
	Wow.
	They've got to make him.
	See, but they won't make this movie, you know, because it's probably too much violence.
	I don't have to animate it.
	You know, like they won't make like babe pig in the crypts, you know?
	That's fair.
	I would love to see this, though.
	If you animate it for adults, maybe make like Charlie Hunnam the lead voice in an American accent in his Jax Teller accent.
	Yeah.
	Oh, that would be nice.
	How with Miles Teller in it.
	Oh, I'm down for Miles Teller as well, dude.
	We should make a new Outsiders with Miles Teller in it.
	Remember The Outsiders, that book?
	Was that Tom Cruise in The Outsiders?
	Or am I thinking of Stand By Me?
	I'm mixing them up.
	No, Tom Cruise wasn't in Stand by Me.
	I think he might have been in The Outsiders, was he?
	As Outsiders stay golden pony boy?
	Yeah.
	Yes.
	I think he had like Rob Lowe.
	Yes, Rob Lowe.
	Tom Cruise.
	Wow, Tom Cruise was in there.
	Matt Dylan, Macchio, Patrick Swayze.
	That's a goddamn power crew.
	It's unreal.
	It's like the 80s Avengers.
	Yeah.
	C. Thomas Howell.
	That's unbelievable.
	What were we talking about?
	Your lady in high school finding you a good shirt.
	Yeah.
	Thank you, man.
	Wow, you're a good, you know what you're doing.
	So, yeah, the girl had to pick out the shirt, you know.
	And I never really had, I didn't have like the girlfriend.
	I always had kind of like the one where you kind of got set up.
	I wasn't in the circle of like getting the notes from the girls a lot and stuff.
	So it was always like you, like, I was always a little bit on the outside of like my friend Scott would always get the date.
	And then one of her friends and I would go with one of the friends.
	And yeah, and then you would just hope that Scott made out with some girl so he could tell you about it.
	Did you do prom though?
	Yep, I went to prom.
	Oh, dude.
	So how'd you go about doing your date?
	Well, so prom, there was a girl that came into the office because I used to go in the office and hang out in there, right?
	And flirt with this lady that kind of looked like an animal a little bit, but she worked at our school.
	So I'd go in there, bro, and kind of flirt with her and stuff and just kind of, cause I wanted to be out of class.
	So I'd go in there and just sit in there and, you know, and then they gave me a job and they're working behind the desk.
	I didn't do anything, but at least I was in there for a reason now.
	So they could like, so it wasn't like an insurance issue or whatever.
	So one day this girl came in and she needed something from me.
	So she like asked.
	So it was like, I always had the toughest time kind of talking to the girl.
	So once this girl kind of needed something from me, it was like, suddenly I was like of use, you know?
	So I started flirting a little bit.
	And then next thing you know, we ended up dating and made love.
	And I took her to the school day.
	We went to the school prom.
	But what happened, she left to go to an after party early.
	No.
	Yes.
	And I got stuck.
	So I had to drive.
	I drove this one white guy that went to our school.
	He wore like one of the, he wore like a blazer that had those shoulder pads in it.
	Nice.
	Like single bombs you have to wear because the husband had left, you know?
	Sure.
	And so he wore that.
	And I remember I was like, dude, I'll give you a ride.
	And he's like, all right, cool.
	And so we're driving to the party and he breaks down crying, bro.
	So now I want to get to this party because, you know, in high school, you only kind of get so many chances to make love to your girl, right?
	But was the love made already before this party?
	Or this was your but this was still like prom night.
	Still still still a Super Bowl of the love.
	It's a Super Bowl of high school love making, obviously.
	Yes.
	Yeah, that's it.
	It's the biggest deal from what I see in the movies because I don't have one.
	Yeah, yeah.
	So you're excited, bro.
	And he starts telling me this dude had the craziest.
	He kept saying that people thought he looked like something.
	People thought he looked like Damon Wayans, right?
	And he was a white guy.
	And right then I knew he's nobody thought that, right?
	And he's just kind of like losing his shit.
	Bring up a picture of Damon Wayans if you can.
	The daddy.
	And he's like, man, people expect so much out of me, you know?
	I was like, dude, nobody, you know, I'm just thinking nobody.
	And he's a white guy.
	I mean, this guy's black.
	Damon Wayans is black.
	So anyway, I knew I'm like, fuck, dude.
	But the guy's crying.
	So it's like, it's so hard to get from somebody crying to, okay, de-escalate the situation and get over to, you know, before your date gets too drunk where you can't make out.
	Yep.
	So did you.
	Or where you feel comfortable making out also?
	What people were going to say?
	So did you want him not going to party?
	No, we got there, man, but I had to sit for like a half hour and be in the car with him while he cried.
	It's a mood kill, buzzkill.
	Oh, it was the worst, dude.
	Because I kept just wanting, like, it's going to open the door every five minutes.
	Yeah, that's tough.
	And he's like, man, people expect so much out of me, man.
	People expect so much out of me.
	And I'm like, nobody even knows what you're talking about.
	Hey, look at us.
	Two guys with bad prom experiences.
	Yeah.
	What was yours?
	You didn't have one at all.
	It got canceled.
	No, we got none at all.
	That's yours got canceled.
	We literally just had that boat ride.
	So was it weird going into summer then not having made love yet?
	It was a little odd because that was, it was summer and then we were going to college.
	And college was interesting.
	Yeah, college.
	Now, college, showing up to college, I think having made love or not made love, that seems like a, I wonder what that feels like to a guy.
	I mean, I know what it feels like, but I'd made love.
	Yeah, yeah.
	So you kind of had that monkey off your nuts or whatever, you know?
	Yeah, college was a scary ass time.
	I really did not like it.
	I went to U Albany for like three semesters.
	U Albany was an odd, it's an odd place.
	I'm on record saying I think the most satanic people are in upstate New York.
	There's just an eerie vibe in upstate New York.
	It's an eerie, eerie place.
	Yeah, a lot of neck tattoos, a lot of fucking people getting punched in the back of the head while they're trying to eat a TV dinner, that kind of shit.
	That's very fair.
	Yeah, it's a creepy, creepy, odd place.
	I mean, there was one time where literally I was, it was my freshman year, first semester.
	I was staying on the eighth floor.
	We were lucky enough, I like won the lottery of being in the nice tower, being in the good tower.
	It was a brand new tower, Indian Tower, it was called, which was awesome.
	Were you big?
	Were you physically larger at this point or not?
	Yeah, I would say a little larger than I am now.
	Okay.
	But not as big as I had gotten, like I said.
	But so we were in there.
	It was eighth floor.
	I always remember.
	It was great.
	We had communal bathrooms, not a community bathroom suite.
	So we only switched every bathroom with like six people.
	Great times.
	For some reason, though, for that first semester, we were drinking like personals of Bacardi every Friday night.
	I don't know why.
	We were drinking personals of, what is that, gin?
	I think gin.
	It's kind of homeless, sexy kind of.
	Yeah, I was drinking like Bacardi apple personals.
	No idea why.
	But either way, it was Friday night one night.
	And I'm a noted pussy, like about many things, like definitely supernatural stuff.
	Like about what, drinking and shit like that?
	No, no, no.
	Actually, you know, fun fact, I was the last of my friends to start drinking.
	I started drinking in the junior year at least.
	Oh, okay.
	Yeah, this weird thing called Haunted Coliseum, but that's another thing.
	In college or in high school?
	High school.
	I used to walk around and tell my friends I'm going to be the DD.
	Like, I can't wait until I get my license.
	I'll drive everybody around.
	Oh, yeah.
	You probably wanted to be a cab driver.
	I mean, a lot of that's just being Italian.
	Yeah, that went out of the door, though, once I got that nice taste.
	Oh, yeah.
	After that, so.
	Okay, so you're in college.
	They got you rapunzled up.
	They got you sugar rapunzeled up in the top of the tower.
	You're living large.
	You got your own pisser up there.
	So it's Friday night.
	We all have our personals, and then we elect me to be the guy that night to go downstairs to the basement to get the sodas, to chase everything.
	So I go down to the basement, get the sodas, go back up to the A4, but we're stopped at the first floor.
	Yeah.
	I step into the elevator, and I will remember this clear as day.
	Step into the elevator, go to the back right corner of it.
	In walks in this kid that I've seen on campus that I know who he was, and this girl that I saw on campus that I definitely always found.
	She just looked a little creepy, looked a little off.
	Oh, yeah.
	And I'm looking, and she.
	She's kind of wizardy looking?
	Yes, almost, like a Harry Potter student.
	Yeah, yeah.
	And she, so I'm in the back left corner.
	This kid stands directly in front of me in the other corner.
	She immediately walks in and sits down in the right corner to me.
	And I see her sitting down.
	I tell myself, why the why is this girl sitting down in the corner?
	Elevator door closes.
	As soon as the door close, she starts like freaking out almost, like shaking and screaming at the top of her lungs.
	And I'm trying not to look.
	I look over to her and she is covered in like satanic writing.
	There was like a 666 on her forehead, like a pentagram all over her arm.
	And I, like I said, I'm a massive, massive pussy.
	I immediately, I had, it was one of the, probably the most scared I've been in my life because I don't, I don't fuck with the satanic stuff in the slightest.
	Yo, who likes it?
	And she, no, there's people.
	But, and I'm sitting there having, I was white as a ghost.
	And then thank God these girls who don't know got off at floor six.
	They were getting on.
	So I jumped off at floor six.
	Those girls immediately said, this man is the most unattractive man I've ever seen in my life.
	Jumping out of that, seeing me just white as a fucking ghost.
	But you know what?
	I went back up and my roommate still says to this day that he's never seen a human being truly white as a ghost.
	It was, I was so terrified.
	I didn't know if there was some sort of like satanic cult going on in the school or if it was a joke.
	I truly don't know to this day.
	So if you happen to be watching this, whatever your name was, I would love to know.
	I don't know.
	To this day, it was terrifyingly scary.
	This episode is brought to you by Better Help.
	We're grateful for them.
	And I'm grateful over the years to, I feel like be getting to know myself.
	You know, it's interesting as you kind of evolve, you get to know yourself some.
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	You know, I'm a big fan of Raisin Canes, baby.
	You know it.
	My God, boy.
	And if I see Raisin Canes, I want it.
	You know me, dude, I'll crawl under something to get a dang Raisin Cane.
	I want it.
	I want them chicken fangers, daddy.
	God.
	I want God put them fangers in me.
	That's how I just want it.
	They got the crinkle cut fries of Texas toast.
	Oh, God.
	Look at it.
	I love raising canes.
	That's who I am.
	And you can too.
	And if you want it and you desire it like I do, I like the Kaniac combo.
	Then you can go onto their website.
	You can order online right now, raisingkanes.com.
	And they also have that mobile app.
	That's right.
	They're mobile.
	Satisfy your canes fix fast by ordering through their app or online at raisingkanes.com or stop by your local restaurant.
	Gosh.
	Yeah, you know, they had a lot that, you know, until Harry Potter came out, that the wizarding group of people were like a lot of the like Satanist kids, that Satanist vibe, they morphed, some of them, I think, when Harry Potter came out, they got, they're like, okay, this is a way for me to get out of this.
	This is our new thing.
	Well, this is a chance.
	If I'm not going full Satan and I'm just Hufflepuffing around, this is a chance for me to just, you know, this is a way out.
	Which is not a lot of, agreed.
	A lot of those people got onto that.
	Now, some people stayed Satan and.
	Yeah, if you stayed on the Satan now, you're going straight to hell.
	Yeah, I mean, or yeah, or you're like a, yeah, if you're like a Colts fan or, you know, whatever.
	I don't know.
	But some people just stayed going out there.
	But some people got off on the Harry Potter when that when Hogwarts rolled up.
	They're like, I'm fucking, thank God.
	Yeah.
	There were some guys that are Voldemort guys.
	They stayed Voldemort guys.
	Yeah, they kept doing that.
	You know, it's a little fun shot, though.
	Apparently, Satanists aren't actually, they don't believe in Satan.
	They just believe in nothing.
	Which is odd.
	But they also, I think they worship the idol of Baphomet, which is that dude with the goat head.
	Yeah, Bealzebub.
	Let's bring up Bealzebub, please.
	Ooh, yeah.
	You know what?
	I am curious about the different Satans.
	Yeah, there's Bezelbub.
	I think he was like the, I think Bezelbub is actually like the biblical Satan, I believe.
	Yeah.
	That guy's creepy as hell.
	I think of this.
	I think of like the villain in Tenacious D. Wonder what that guy would do, huh?
	That dude?
	Looking like a corned-up cougar with his little Antichrist baby.
	That's tough stuff.
	The scariest part is that he has that baby because Pardee is going to want to help the baby, but Pardew knows that that baby is probably already compromised.
	And that is also the Antichrist.
	That is the continuation of Satan, I guess, directly.
	Like Rosemary's Baby.
	You ever see that movie?
	That's Rosemary's Baby right there, baby.
	I mean, and that'll make you be pro choice.
	Yes.
	Robin Polanski.
	Let's look at different Satans.
	Can you look that up, please?
	I just want to see some of the different ones.
	I've never thought about this, the different types of Satan they have.
	Now, there's that, yeah.
	This is the tenacious D Satan.
	That's your tenacious D Satan.
	That's your pop culture Satan.
	Yeah, that's your very run-of-the-mill kind of everyday Satan.
	Yeah, that's your everyday Satan.
	That's your like, yeah, three in the afternoon.
	We need a Satan.
	Ooh, that look at Lucifer there.
	That's just a normal dude naked with some wings.
	Top left.
	Oh, wow.
	Look at that.
	So that guy could really be anybody.
	So that guy, I feel like that was Satan in his human form before he went downstairs.
	Yeah.
	That guy's got a top hat, though.
	I enjoy that one.
	Oh, that's good.
	Like, he's a businessman.
	Like, look here.
	Like, Monopoly went wrong.
	Yeah, like, I'm going to manage Elvis.
	Wow.
	You see a lot of that goat with wings with horns.
	It's the goat head.
	That's the one that'll get you.
	The pentagram.
	When was the first Satan?
	I think it just said that Lucifer's, what, 350 BC?
	If you click on the man, the naked man?
	350 years after John Milton's paradise lost.
	Oh, okay.
	Let's look that up, Zach, if you don't mind.
	When was the first Satan?
	What is that in the Bible?
	This is bad for me.
	I went to fucking Catholic high school, like I said.
	No, look, man, this is, Okay, Satan, also known as the devil, and sometimes also called Lucifer in Christianity, is an entity in the Abrahamic religions that seduces humans into sin or falsehood.
	In Judaism, Satan is seen as an agent figures.
	That's the most, you know, you got to have an agent subservient to God.
	Typically regarded as a metaphor for the Yet Zerahara, or evil inclination.
	So the evil inclination of God.
	What does that say, Zach?
	A figure known as Satan first appears in the Hebrew Bible as a heavenly prosecutor, as we were talking about.
	So he was good and then went bad, but it's first appeared in the Hebrew Bible.
	So that kind of means he was like the judge Judy kind of of the Hebrews Bible.
	Right.
	And then he went wrong.
	He wanted all the power for himself, I guess.
	That's normal.
	Yeah, it happens.
	All right, so you're in college.
	Things are going pretty cool.
	You're enjoying it.
	I didn't love it.
	I really did not.
	I love my friends from home just a lot, and I just kind of just missed them.
	You did?
	Yeah, a lot.
	A lot, a lot, a lot.
	Then I transferred home.
	I went to school at Baruch with this business college on Manhattan on 23rd in Lexington.
	And then I got hired at my job beginning of the second semester of that.
	A more stool.
	Yes, sir.
	And then I did two more, finished that semester, did one more, and then I dropped out.
	But you dropped out of college.
	I am a college dropout.
	Yeah.
	Good times.
	Whatever.
	Yeah.
	It was like six years ago now.
	Yeah, I mean, I think a lot of times college is just if you don't even know what to do, people will go into college.
	Yeah, it was scary because like my mom obviously didn't want me to drop out, but then I kept telling her the point of college is to get your dream job and I have my dream job.
	So why should I not just drop out for it?
	And I would venture to guess the experience I've had in the six years since is well worth more than a college degree in nothing.
	I had no major.
	I was my shock, yeah, I was horrible at math.
	So when I transferred, I even, when I transferred, I had to do a whole, what do they call it, intermediate or remedial math class for a whole semester to even get credit for the class.
	And then to even get a major, I had to do like two more math courses.
	Math, yeah.
	Yeah, so math really got me.
	Yeah.
	And when I, yeah, when I when I dropped out, I didn't even have a major on.
	I was a junior.
	Yeah.
	Oh, math will trip up any real.
	You know what I'm saying, bro?
	Sorry, sorry.
	But yeah, math will get you, boy.
	Yeah, but that was, I was such a relief the day I got hired, too, because it was just so like.
	Yeah, well, that was a huge.
	I mean, Barcelona was a huge corporation then.
	I mean, how long have you been working there?
	Six years?
	Dude, I've been, this September is going to be seven.
	Wow.
	But I mean, I got hired.
	Caleb hired me, which is fun to talk about now.
	Like, quite literally, the day I got hired at work, my mom, I was doing Tuesday, Thursday, Monday, Wednesday class, and then Friday, there was like a 20-minute recap of the Monday, Wednesday class.
	So for the first few weeks of that, my Mom was Baruch.
	Yep.
	My mom was driving me into.
	Is it a Jewish school or is this the name of it?
	Bernard Baruch is like a famous business guy.
	He may have been in the tribe.
	I'm sure he, I think he was actually.
	Is your family Jewish or no?
	No, Italian.
	Okay.
	Italian and Greek.
	Do they have Italian Jewish people?
	Yeah.
	I would, I feel like Italians and Jews cross-mingle a lot.
	So there's definitely some.
	Yeah.
	But so my mom literally drove me to the city that day because we were doing a nice, very wholesome, we would, she would drop me off every Friday.
	I would go on my 20-minute recap and then we'll go to a nice lunch in the city.
	You and your mother?
	Yeah, it was nice.
	Yeah, beautiful.
	So she, she saw how nervous I was.
	I got the internship interview at 1230 that day.
	The classes ended at, let's say, 1145.
	So she drove me over there.
	And I was freaking out too, because at the time, I was actually emailing with what I thought was Erica Nardini, our CEO.
	It was really just her office manager, but they made it seem like it was a, Irish office manager.
	His name was Brett.
	He used to work with us.
	At Barstool.
	Yes, sir.
	So you thought you were emailing with the office manager from Barstool?
	I thought I was emailing with Erica as the CEO, but it was really Brett behind that.
	So I think I'm emailing Erica.
	I think it's like a business interview type of thing.
	As I'm going over there, I look at the Barstool Snapchat and I see Caleb interviewing people.
	So I'm saying, oh, fuck, this is kind of like a content thing.
	And I'm shitting bricks because.
	Now I'm going to be on camera.
	I was a fan of Caleb, fan of everybody.
	I was a big Barstool fan.
	And you're nervous.
	Your mother knows you're nervous.
	Terrifyingly nervous.
	And also, one thing that's valuable...
	That's fair.
	I get rosy cheeks.
	I get big time rosy cheeks.
	I've been told that a lot.
	And I think that there's something about that.
	As a mother, it must be because you have all these other mothers.
	The kid's on pills for nine months, dude.
	They have no idea, but he weighs 121 pounds.
	Yes, sir.
	So she knew I was worried.
	And then I know it's like a hunted industry then.
	I didn't realize.
	Did you ever go to our old office by any chance?
	I did one time.
	So do you remember how you get off the elevator and everyone's sitting right there?
	Yeah, it's kind of alarming.
	Quite terrifying.
	So I'm a barstool fan.
	No idea what I'm walking into.
	I get off the elevator.
	Everybody's sitting right there.
	Extremely scary.
	I go walk by the bar.
	They say, stand there for a second.
	Go talk to Caleb.
	I'm shitting bricks.
	I'm a Caleb Presley fan at the time.
	Still am.
	And he asks me, he just sits me down and asks me, are you fast?
	And I said, you know what?
	For my size, I am pretty fast.
	When I play softball, I get down the line pretty quick.
	People will be shocked.
	I've beaten out a ground ball or two in my day.
	He says, prove it.
	Let's go downstairs to the street to a 28th.
	And when my mom dropped me off, I said, Claudia, drive away.
	Don't stay here.
	I don't know what's going to happen.
	Just don't stay.
	That's your mother's name, Claudia.
	Yeah.
	I call her by Claudia.
	I call her Claudia sometimes.
	It's a beautiful name.
	Yeah, I like Claudia.
	My mom's saying so.
	I like it.
	So I call her Claude sometimes.
	She's Claude on my phone.
	But so we go outside.
	She didn't move.
	So I'm fucking freaking out.
	My mom is literally right there.
	And I'm out there with the camera and Caleb.
	I'm telling my sister.
	She's right there.
	If you watch the video, she's pretending she's not there.
	Probably sitting in the car smoking a cigarette.
	But she was there.
	That checks out.
	And I think that's awesome.
	It was great.
	I was just terrified if she was going to get out of the car and say something or anything.
	We walk to the corner, run down the street.
	Caleb says, you know what?
	You are fast.
	You're hired.
	We go up, talk to Dave.
	As I'm walking out, Gaz, our head of social, says, what's your, do you have any nicknames?
	And I recently had watched Entourage and Goodfellas.
	And Goodfellas is a character named Sally Balls.
	Entourage is a character named Wally Balls.
	I think just in my head, I thought Glenny Balls would be a name that I me and my friends already jokingly named me that.
	Like I would call myself that jokingly when we're talking about gambling or something.
	Glenny Balls, huh?
	Yeah, like when I'm talking about horse racing or anything.
	Yeah.
	And Sammy Spears, Ronnie Rounds.
	Yes, sir.
	You know what I'm talking about?
	So I said, oh, my friends call me Glenny Balls.
	And then I think the name is, it's a catchy name, I think.
	It's a good name.
	And then, yeah, then pretty crazy, me and Caleb started hanging out.
	And what about mom at that moment?
	Did you hug?
	Because the craziest thing that moms do is not leave and then pretend they left.
	Dude, you know what happened, actually?
	So it was right when Barstow first moved to New York from like, so everybody living across the country finally moved together.
	Every Friday they were doing Aloha Fridays.
	So everyone would dress in Hawaiian shirts and make margaritas and shit.
	I had just turned 20. It's nice, like Christmas almost.
	Yes, sir.
	I had just turned 20. And they immediately say, you're the intern, go get us alcohol.
	And of course, I had fake IDs.
	Oh, yeah.
	But I didn't want to use a fake ID and maybe get in trouble.
	Hey, you just started.
	As a Long Island person, using fake IDs in the city was always a bit of a scary thing.
	So I called my mom, like, hey, how far away are you?
	Are you on the bridge yet?
	She comes back, bought me all the alcohol, and then bought underage children alcohol.
	No, my coworkers that were of age.
	Oh.
	Because I was just scared to buy it for.
	I was scared to get like in trouble using a fake ID.
	So my mom came back, drove back to the office, went to the liquor store down the street, bought us the alcohol, and then I just gave it to everybody else.
	I was scared to not deliver.
	Yeah.
	And then I got Caleb Chipotle.
	That was my first day at work.
	Went to a Met game that night.
	Caleb's an interesting guy.
	He is the most interesting man that I've come across.
	He's very, you know, I think there's other levels, there's layers to him that more will be revealed, I think.
	Yes.
	I think there's things about him that a lot of us don't know.
	And I think we're going to be learning.
	I hope so.
	I mean, I'm clearly a massive fan, as are you.
	Yeah.
	Great guy.
	But yeah, you just wonder, is there sometimes, is there a little ulterior motive somewhere in that man, you know?
	He likes the, he likes to rabble rouse, you know?
	He likes the fucking smoke, boy.
	Yeah, he does.
	I mean, he's a fun guy.
	I love him.
	I love being with him.
	I love hanging out with him.
	I'm still kind of scared of him, but I love him.
	Yeah.
	He's an alarming guy.
	Great guy.
	Very interesting.
	Yeah, I went.
	He came to a show in Florida not long ago.
	I had a show in Florida, and he came out.
	Him.
	And he was pretty lit.
	We went to the casino and he's gambling.
	I gambled with him in Tahoe last year at that golf tournament out there.
	Me and him are in different stages of life.
	I think he just turned 30. He doesn't drink as much, hang out as much.
	But I like to go out whenever we're traveling.
	I'm traveling.
	If I'm in Tuesday in L.A., why not go out?
	Why not?
	You go out.
	I get messages all the time.
	You and I are not, we're not super close.
	You know, we kind of got together.
	We've met each other a few times.
	Yeah.
	And I'm glad we're getting to spend time today.
	But I'll get messages like Glenny Balls is in town.
	Yeah, I like to go out.
	I like to enjoy the cities that I travel, that I'm lucky enough to travel to for work.
	but I would say maybe once every few trips, I'll get Caleb out with me.
	And when, as you know, when he's out and having fun, he's just the most fun, funniest person to enjoy.
	And that whole time we're in like Tahoe, he just, he was just having a great time.
	And he was, he's just so much, I love him.
	He's just so much fun.
	Yeah, he's a creator, man.
	I was kind of joking.
	He's a creator.
	He like, well, I mean, he got old.
	He got, he was pretty fire.
	He was pretty lit, right?
	So he's pretty lit.
	And he starts bragging to everybody that he went to Wells Fargo earlier, right?
	He starts saying it like it's like he went to like some fancy place like seize candy or something.
	You know, he's like.
	Yeah, he makes a new bit every time he gets drunk, pretty much.
	Yeah, he's like, yeah, he's got Wells Fargo this afternoon.
	He keeps, you know, he's like, oh, I got some size tens from Wells Fargo.
	I'm picturing him saying it exactly.
	So he got, I guess, $2,000 out of his bank account.
	At this point, he's up $20,000, right?
	Yeah.
	I haven't bet a bit.
	Dustin Poirier Zaire, Mitchell Trubisky, Cole Holcomb, some of his Caleb's close friends, some of my close friends sitting there doing a little bit of gambling.
	And Caleb's like, he just wants to bet it all.
	He wants to lose it all.
	He's trying to buy a car for the lady that's working there.
	He wants them to send a fucking Kia dealer to the table.
	At a certain point, it's like, what is going on?
	It just, it's unbelievable.
	And if you tell him to cash out, he will not.
	No, he's the best.
	He's the best.
	I mean, we were, I like Tyo too.
	We were there at that tournament in the high roller room for, I think, four nights in a row because that's where everybody was hanging out.
	And there was one night we lost him.
	I lost him until 3 a.m.
	I couldn't find him.
	I had to know where his phone was.
	I finally found him eating chili with Kevin from the office at the bar, like two blocks away.
	I literally was looking for him for two hours and I found it with Kevin from the office eating chili, which is like, once again, it's like playing basketball with Michael Jordan, eating chili with Kevin from the office.
	But yeah, he's just, he's, he's a raucous time when you go when you get him going.
	Yeah, you've never, he is like an ingredient where it's like, okay, they're like, you can put this ingredient in the recipe and like, what are you like, what is the ingredient?
	And they're like, we don't know what the ingredient is.
	And I, I know whenever I get it, I'm so excited to savor it.
	Yeah.
	Like, even when the few times I've been to the same city as him, it's like he just, I was living in Nashville and he, and I go to Nashville a lot.
	So I would like, whenever I go, I feel weird not texting him.
	I'll throw him a text.
	Usually it just doesn't answer, which is fine.
	Yeah, that's who he is.
	But like this weekend, too, he's back in Florida.
	I'm going to Del Rey this weekend.
	I told him before when we were getting to the shoot last night, I was like, hey, I'll be in Del Ray this weekend.
	You want to grab lunch or anything?
	Probably won't see him.
	But it's all right.
	I don't mind.
	I'm with my friends anyway.
	Right.
	At least you touch base.
	Yeah, I just want to make sure, hey, if you want to hang out, I'll hang out.
	But like, I'm not confident we'll get him out for a night this weekend.
	But if we did, I would be thrilled.
	He's just one of those.
	He's one of those guys you see him at a party.
	You just grab it.
	Take to him.
	Yeah, there's something that's wonderful about him.
	There is something that's very wonderful about him.
	People like him.
	Of course.
	And so many people like him that it also makes you be like, oh, there is something definitely.
	I don't know if that, it's not that you do it because everybody else does it, but everybody likes him.
	Some people just have that quality that everybody just likes.
	He's just radiant.
	Yeah, he gots a great quality, man.
	He got a great quality.
	I think one of my favorite, okay, actually, this is kind of a stupid.
	It's not even that funny, but it's one of my favorite things that we've done is he kind of has like a Sunday Conversation uniform, the white shirt, bow tie, hair down.
	That same day we were on that Southwest flight, we just finished a shoot with Amelia de Moldenborg, and then we just went to the bar and drank all day and then flew to Reno to go to Tahoe.
	And just seeing the few Sunday Conversation fans at the airport on the plane, seeing him in his Sunday, he didn't take it off.
	He didn't change.
	It was like seeing Clark Kent dressed as Superman.
	Like just seeing Caleb Cottage Rug roaming down the aisle in his Sunday Conversation full outfit was so funny to see people's reactions.
	Because there are just some days he just didn't give a fuck.
	And that was just one of the days.
	It was great.
	It is kind of weird, like being like a talking head in a way, which all of us kind of are.
	A lot of us kind of are on social media because that's kind of what you see.
	And then people see you in real life and people always comment on, I thought you were smaller.
	I thought you were taller.
	I thought you, you know, were in a wheelchair.
	Like people always have like different, you know, they never get to, it's the first time they've ever seen you, you know?
	Or they're like, what are you doing?
	Are you interviewing someone here?
	And you're like, I'm at an Aunt Ann's.
	Yes.
	I'm having a problem.
	I'm not, you know, there's nobody, you know, I'm just relaxed.
	My, my main ones, I just get as well always where's Caleb.
	Yeah.
	I get a lot of where's Caleb.
	Yeah.
	Which now I'm just, I just say he's like, he's over there.
	He's going to drink.
	At the other bar, I'll just say he's here.
	And then my other show I do, I interview OnlyFans models.
	So pretty much 99% of the questions I get now and I'm at a bar is between me and you.
	Yeah.
	You fucking those chicks.
	Right.
	Presley or pus.
	I like Presley.
	I love a pussy.
	Well, and yeah, we don't even say, we don't even say that.
	You got point of cue, you say it, right?
	We don't even say on here that much.
	Yeah, sorry.
	It's okay.
	It's okay.
	So let's get through.
	Because, yeah, I know you have a show now that is very sexually involved.
	It's very, it's in the sexual world, right?
	Yes, it's in the industry.
	It's in the industry.
	As the folks say, in the industry.
	So I want to see how do we get there?
	So what has sex been like in your life up to this point?
	You're in college.
	You're not really digging it.
	Then you get the job at barstool.
	Where does sex kind of play?
	And have you been watching pornography growing up?
	Have you been like, were you exposed to some type of violent, you know, drawings of people?
	Fucking, what happened?
	You know, I've always been a horny guy.
	I'd say like one of my favorite stories, my mom always tells, she tells everybody that, she tells everybody that growing up, she'd always just tell the story that she fell asleep one day when I was about three, four years old.
	We were watching Titanic.
	She woke up and I was just rewinding.
	Were you that scene?
	That's what she always says.
	Wow.
	I don't remember it because I was three or four years old, but she always says it.
	And I don't think she's a lion lady.
	And also, what grown woman watches that with a four-year-old?
	Seriously.
	I think she just wanted to watch fucking Jack and Rose fight over that door.
	But I mean, I was there for it.
	I was just attracted to it.
	Like, there's a photo I have of me.
	I got to send to you guys.
	You want to put up here when you put it out?
	It's like, there's just a picture of me in Vegas when I'm maybe 10 years old.
	And there's just a big pair of fucking ceramic tits behind me wearing like a fat Tony's yacht shirt.
	I've just always enjoyed it.
	My dad's caught me going through the Playboys in the attic before.
	Yeah, I mean, those are all, not only are those awesome just because there's like full bushes and naked women in there, just seeing the ads and all Playboys are awesome.
	Yeah.
	It's cool.
	It's not like it's always a guy smoking or something.
	Yeah, it's a nice drawing of a car in the background.
	It's never like that.
	It's all cigarette ads.
	It is all cigarette ads.
	It's just hits.
	It's just cigarette ads.
	And then like, here's her interview with Rising Steve Jobs and one of them I have.
	It's really, really cool.
	The ads are awesome.
	But yeah, and then I think the show just led me to, I've never been absurdly into porn.
	But now if you're climbing up a ladder, now here's, so you went up into the attic to look at it.
	Yes, sir.
	So there is something now, because I used to bike about five miles, right?
	I'd go to my friend's house and his daddy had a little bit of pornography hidden in the toilet, in the bathroom.
	So I'd get in there and I'd lock myself in there and I'd be in there for like 40 minutes on a Sunday morning at their house.
	And there's like going to church.
	Yeah.
	The only person taking like a 40-minute shit at that point was somebody who had like Ebola or somebody who had like, you know, some disease you got in the war.
	Taco Bell.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Something heavy.
	Yeah.
	So I was, you know, at some point they knew I was in there jerking off, you know, but I noticed at that point, looking back, I would bike five miles on a Sunday morning to masturbate at someone's house that I didn't know that well.
	I think that's well worth it, honestly.
	I mean, I grew up in an age, luckily enough, where we didn't always have the internet.
	We had our phones.
	I think the first time I jerked off, first time I came, I didn't even think I jerked off.
	I think it just happened naturally.
	Oh, wow.
	I'll always remember, which kind of sucks.
	There wasn't even a face involved.
	It was, remember that movie Sex Drive?
	Let's pull it up.
	It was the unrated movie Sex Drive.
	And the actress at the end was Katrina Bowden, wonderful actress.
	But she didn't go topless in the movie.
	So they literally panned down to like a decoy pair of tits.
	And that's the first thing I ever came to.
	So you came to fake tits?
	I came to just an unless pair.
	No, they're real, just not even Katrina Bowden.
	So it was just an unnamed pair of tits.
	I don't know who the first tit I came to was.
	If you look on the IMDB of the movie, will it let you know?
	Maybe.
	I've never done it.
	I might look at that later.
	Yeah, because they like show her face and then she takes her top off and it's an unknown pair of tits.
	Sex drive.
	Great movie, though.
	Zach can look that.
	Oh, you know who's in there?
	Seth Green is in it.
	Yep.
	And also Clark Duke, who I love.
	Yes.
	Very funny dude.
	Zach can look that up in the background and see if those tits, if he's.
	Yeah, it should be Katrina Bowden's tits in the unrated version.
	Yeah.
	That was always a fun thing in the unrated versions.
	Yeah, it was something that came out.
	You know, I remember looking.
	I remember being finding some pornography and liquor at the same time.
	And I was drinking and looking at it and I didn't know what was going on.
	And I was on the top of a shelving unit and then ejaculated and fell down to the ground, just blacked out.
	It was just overdrive.
	Worst things to happen, honestly.
	It was overdrive.
	That sounds awesome.
	God, it was good.
	That sounds like a home run.
	But then there's something after that where it's like everything kind of changes, you know?
	You just feel like some, you know, then you start to just abuse yourself to get semen out of you.
	Yeah, yeah.
	I mean, I'm not going to sit here and say and sugarcoat it there.
	Once I figured out what was happening there, it happens a lot.
	Like a goddamn professional ball player.
	God.
	It's the best.
	Then iPhones, iPods, infinite.
	Infinite.
	I can only imagine, like, you were saying growing up, and me too.
	I was looking at the magazines.
	Mine probably, I would say my main source of tits, though, growing up was like unrated American Pie movies.
	Yeah.
	I would say, you ever see American Pie Beta House?
	A lot of tits in it.
	Dude, the amount of that I would, I would venture to guess that has the most topless women in a movie ever.
	It's an astonishing amount of tits in this movie.
	Astonishing.
	I've seen this more times than I've seen Farrell's Cope.
	Yeah.
	You think you've been to church more or seen this more?
	Dude, I don't go to church that often.
	But you had to go growing up.
	We would go occasionally.
	We would go occasionally.
	I would maybe go every, maybe a few times a year, maybe 10 times a year.
	But I really hadn't gone.
	Depends actually, my high school, we would go to church for school, but it would be in the basketball court.
	Yeah.
	And the pastor would come in.
	Is that coming to go to church?
	I don't know.
	We had assembly sometime.
	We had this beautiful Miss McManus.
	I think she was our principal.
	I don't know.
	Or she could have just been like a real angry lesbian that was at the school.
	I didn't, you know, you didn't know sometimes, you know?
	And but they would always have that assembly, you know, and it was like, we're having an assembly, you know, and it would be like, and it was always like kids were urinating on the, they had like the spit, the heaters in the, like the old heaters.
	It was an old building from like the 1930s that we all went to middle school in.
	And they had, people were pissing on the heaters and it would steam up the whole bathroom.
	So then people would play like Ghost Baby and stuff like that and things like, you know, and Planet of the Apes, all that shit in the bathroom because it was all just piss steam, you know?
	Oh, dude.
	So she had to have a meeting and say, no more pissing on the things, you know?
	And it was crazy telling children that because kids were in there just.
	And that'll make probably want to make them do it more.
	Sounds like a lose-lose for everybody, though.
	The second you heard about it, if you weren't doing it, you're like, we got to get fight or fight.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	And we had a janitor, this dude, Mr. Larry, and he would piss over you into the fucking urine while you were in there.
	He was like the BJ Armstrong of piss.
	This guy was, it was unreal, bro, how he could fucking hit it every time right over your body.
	Like you could literally look up and see it going over you like the, what's that thing in St. Louis?
	The Golden Arch.
	The Golden Arch.
	Yeah, sir.
	So you were under this madness he was peeing out?
	He would pee from behind you.
	There's like a secret.
	He was like a, yeah, he was like a fucking savant or whatever.
	You know?
	Giant?
	No, he wasn't a giant.
	I mean, he was a giant to us.
	We were in fifth or sixth grade, but he was probably, I bet, five, nine.
	Interesting.
	Black, though.
	So he had that, you know.
	Yeah, yeah.
	He had that damn look.
	Well endowed.
	So get us.
	All right.
	So you're cruising through life.
	You're at.
	Now, did you finally, did you get to sex before you got to Barstool?
	I did not.
	Wow.
	I'll tell you that.
	I'll say it.
	I don't mind.
	I mean, yeah, look, I mean, I'm doing fine now, so I don't really mind talking about it.
	Yeah, look, I mean, I wasn't saying I was popular per se, but my friends were like normal kids.
	They always had fun.
	Like I said, still best friends with all of them were great guys.
	But yeah, I never, never dabbled in.
	Yeah, it's all right.
	And so were you nervous at, I mean, dude, I remember, I mean, I, yeah, it was always so nerve-wracking to me.
	Were you nervous when you got in?
	When you, when you, did you know it was going to happen?
	Was it like a, all right, this is it.
	It's a girl I'm dating.
	This is a big night, or was it just kind of like, here it goes?
	It was a girl I was talking to for a little bit.
	And we had done stuff before that.
	We hadn't done the whole nine.
	I think it was going on to a good concert.
	So, um, what concert you remember?
	People are going to, uh, it was Billy Joel, and he's my favorite artist ever, actually.
	So that's a nice.
	Bro, if you could make love to a woman after Billy Joel, what's better than that?
	Nothing.
	Literally nothing.
	It's really good.
	Yeah, it was a Billy Joel concert.
	It was so rare, I feel like.
	Dude, yeah.
	It feels like I'm in the 80s.
	So I lobbied.
	It's a cool story.
	It was nice.
	Billy Joel concert.
	It was beautiful.
	I mean, I obviously never said that.
	So it was a Billie Joel concert.
	And everyone, a lot of people, if you know me remotely, you don't know.
	I love Billy Joel.
	Yeah.
	Who doesn't?
	Maybe now people, maybe now people know why.
	God.
	Seeing some insignia restaurant and some sex.
	It's a good duo.
	And did you go back home?
	Did you go to a hotel or motel?
	No, it was at her apartment.
	Yeah.
	God.
	Now you're venturing into enemy territory.
	I'm wondering, was it more fun to have sex on home turf or on away turf?
	I'm an away game guy.
	I love away games.
	I love away games.
	Me and Caleb also travel a lot.
	That's a good point.
	I'm a big fan of away games.
	I mean, I love sex, but I enjoy, I've said this many times on OnlySands.
	I enjoy the chase of it a lot.
	So I love doing the away game stuff.
	Yeah.
	And I'm not going to lie to you, every time I go to bars at home, I don't get the same vibe with women.
	I just don't talk to women the same.
	I don't know why.
	I just feel like they like me less.
	There's something about an away game.
	This is the allure of an away game.
	Well, yeah, they can get you at the store.
	They can get you at the local store because you're there.
	100%.
	But when you're just passing through town, when you're like, you're a commodity, you're like when the train would come through and had like ribeyes on it, you know?
	And you got a bunch of brothers just beating the shit out of each other until you get to a real.
	But if you grow up right next to Ribeye Factory, plus.
	Right next to Peter Lugers, it's not going to be the same.
	So, yeah, I mean, definitely a weigh-game guy.
	There's no doubt about it.
	And when you walked out of that place, you make love to the woman when you leave there.
	Does things feel different?
	I'm trying to take myself back to that point.
	It felt pretty damn good.
	I barely remember.
	I actually got a text from my buddy that said his manager at one of his, at the firm he works for in the city, just said, I saw Glenny walking down the street looking absolutely disheveled.
	And I said, yeah.
	It makes sense, dude.
	It makes absolute sense.
	Put two and two together.
	Did you tell your mom after?
	No.
	Yeah.
	I did not.
	I don't even know if I told my friends, honestly.
	This is the way they're going to find out.
	It's just interesting, and I'm trying to remember who I told.
	I also didn't tell her.
	So this might be the way she finds out, too, if she watches this.
	That's beautiful, man.
	Which might be embarrassing.
	So I haven't talked to her in a while, which would be awkward, but whatever.
	Dude, I made love behind a Tiffany Lane by, they used to have a bowling alley in our town called Tiffany Lanes over there.
	Was that outdoors?
	It was outdoors out back.
	Wow.
	I've still never done the whole public sex type of thing.
	I've always had so, like, it's gotten better now, but I had so much pressure interacting with women.
	Yes, sir.
	That it's like a lot of nerves going on.
	Oh, 100%.
	And imagine you're like, imagine somebody's electrocuting you and you still have to play Jenga, you know?
	Yeah.
	That's kind of how it is.
	I think if you're really nervous and trying to do it, get it, get a good irregular.
	Yeah, I mean, there's no two ways about it, too.
	I'll be the first two minutes.
	Like I just said, a confidence is a lot.
	As I guess I've grown more at work, my confidence has risen and now it's fine.
	Yeah.
	But a while ago, it was like, it was, I totally get it.
	It's fucking scary.
	Sex is scary.
	Girls are scary, especially when you're, once again, I'm no Tom Hanks.
	I'm about to say Tom Hanks.
	I'm no Tom Cruise.
	Yeah.
	Like, it's, it's an intimidating thing for the fellas.
	I'm no fucking Lonnie Hanks.
	You know, I'm no, you know.
	You're in shape, though.
	Be in shape, guys.
	Got it.
	All you got to do is be in shape.
	But also, here's one issue.
	Thicker guys think that just a guy is in shape.
	Like, dude.
	Yeah, it's true.
	To me, you have a six-pack there.
	In my world, you might as well be Fabio.
	Oh, that's hilarious, man.
	Yeah, dude.
	There's just some, I mean, it's interesting once sex is introduced to, and I'm talking a lot about sex today because I want to eventually get to talk about your show.
	Yes.
	And sex is a driving force in a lot of young men's lives.
	You know, I think about that.
	It shapes kind of like, once you start to learn about sex, it's interesting because then your interests, like some of them start to disappear a little bit or dissipate because that takes up like 50% of the brain.
	You're a preacher of the choir.
	God.
	I cannot tell you.
	I remember before I lost said virginity, I would go out my friends and they would always be like trying to get with girls.
	And I would just tell them, dudes, like let's just hang out at the bar, talk a little bit.
	Now I kind of get it.
	Yeah.
	Now I get it.
	Yeah, dude, because, but then also you're like, how's this wiener going to fit in a vagina?
	Like, there's so many little things if you don't have a role model to tell you about sex, you know?
	Yeah.
	Did your dad tell you anything about sex?
	Not really, no.
	Kind of just wung it.
	Yeah.
	Oh, man.
	I mean, I thought it was just.
	You learned from the streets, otherwise, you learned from the sandwich soppers.
	You know what I'm saying?
	You learn from the, you know, the subway.
	You learn from the, you know, if we don't learn from a parent or something.
	Yeah.
	So your dad didn't learn you?
	No, I kind of just went.
	I kind of just wung it and wang it.
	I thought I was, I don't, I don't know if she knew or not.
	I don't think she did.
	So I think that means I passed the test kind of.
	Oh, that's a good call.
	I didn't get it.
	Is this your first time?
	Yeah.
	She actually, the first night I, when I was with her, I may have went down downtown and she said that she was like, Oh, you're fucking good at this.
	I was like, Wow, you know, I appreciate that.
	It's one of my first few times.
	That's cool, man.
	Yeah, yeah, it's also nerve-wracking, bro.
	Back then, you know, we had some calls a while back about if it would be better if family, if in some tribes, you know, there's tribes in Africa, there's tribes in Europe where they, a older sibling or a father teaches the child how to masturbate.
	Really?
	Because then you're learning it.
	You're learning sex from like it's part of a familial thing.
	It's not as like this taboo thing that like, you know, you know, little Richard shows you in the woods one day, you know, and he's, you know, coming on a lizard or whatever.
	I didn't know masturbation needed to be taught.
	I kind of just thought it was pretty primal.
	But I think if you have a sibling that teaches you and takes you through it, or you have a parent that takes you through it, then some, I guess there's some cultures where it's believed that that's the way to do it.
	You know, we've had a lot of callers call in and say, yeah, my brother taught me how to do it.
	Sure.
	Which is interesting.
	I guess it would have been nice to have a guide, but trust me, I didn't need one.
	I figured out how to jerk off.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	It was, it was, that first summer was a, was a tough one.
	Would you do any cool tricks with your hands to make it different when you would masturbate every?
	No, I mean, my left arm sucks, dude.
	I can't trick.
	I don't think I could jerk off with this thing if I tried.
	Oh, wow.
	I'm a very right-hand dominant.
	Like, even growing up playing baseball sometimes, not that I'm a fucking big booth, but growing up playing baseball until I was like 14, like I'm a lefty.
	And that's because you're swinging this way.
	Your right hand's coming through, pulling the bat around.
	I don't know how righties follow through with your left arm.
	My left arm is so dead.
	I don't know why, but this thing is trash.
	Yeah.
	Like if I had to lose this limb, I wouldn't even mind really.
	I'd do nothing with this.
	Don't jerk off with it.
	Don't eat with it.
	I do nothing with it.
	God.
	Yeah.
	So I'm very right-hand dominant.
	So I'm really just focusing on the right-hand jerk off.
	But don't you ever, it's almost like sometimes when you want to like, I'll use like my language learning app or something.
	It's like, sometimes I'll do the same thing.
	I'll mess with it with my left hand.
	It's like, I just want to like give my, you know, you know, to try to be not like artsy, but to try to like, you know, learn a new language, I guess.
	Or switch up a category.
	On pornography?
	On the, I'm, in the realm, in the industry.
	Oh, yeah.
	So, well, that kind of brings us to where we are now.
	So you do, um, you have a show called OnlyStand.
	Yes, sir.
	Only stands.
	So are you kind of like a male?
	Do you consider yourself like a, like a, kind of a, like a male, do you consider yourself like a male sex symbol or like a journalist?
	No, it's funny because I would never consider myself a sex symbol ever because I'm not a sex symbol in the slightest.
	It would be cool to be considered a sex symbol, though.
	I feel like you are, though.
	I feel like you're, because I think of you or I see you now.
	I mean, I know some of your world and I know that you love sports.
	You work in Barcelona Sports.
	I know you're involved in that universe, but now I see you around, you know, sexy women and you guys are, you know, talking about sex.
	Yeah, it's been fun.
	I mean, I definitely consider myself a journalist.
	I'm one of the only few OnlyFans journalists in the world.
	Try to try to keep the journalist interviewee relationship fine.
	And they always say, I'm a journalist.
	So I enjoy it.
	It's so much fun.
	I mean, I love beautiful women.
	I love talking to beautiful women.
	I think they're very fun to talk to.
	And the way that most OnlyFans queens are, a lot of podcasts, I don't know, even if they do podcasts, it's rare that they get to just talk about random things.
	I try to just talk about random things and fun things as much as possible.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	And then obviously there's a lot of sex talk because it's fun to just read off, hey, you just had a 10-guy blow bang.
	Right.
	And you had Whitney on.
	Had Whitney on recently.
	She was amazing.
	I loved her.
	She was so cool.
	She was so funny.
	She's amazing.
	She gave me a bee costume one night.
	What's that mean?
	I think, I don't know.
	She I was at the comedy store and she gave me a beekeeper's uniform.
	Oh, really?
	For no reason.
	Interesting.
	Do you still have it?
	Yeah, still in my truck.
	In my truck, I don't know.
	So I got to give her a buzz and check on her.
	Yeah, she was great.
	She was like the first time I was really like starstruck by somebody.
	I've been watching roasts since I was 15. So it was very cool.
	Oh, yeah.
	But super cool to have when he comes on.
	We're talking oven roasts, though.
	Yeah, James.
	Sorry.
	Like then, Angela White.
	That was great.
	We just had her on.
	She was amazing.
	And now Angela White, tell me about her.
	So you interview a lot of women that do OnlyFans, right?
	So now that OnlyFans has kind of took over the industry since COVID, COVID had had a huge upclimb because everyone was inside.
	So you just did OnlyFans.
	So now all the porn stars do OnlyFans as well.
	And Angela White is like the fucking Ken Griffey Jr. porn.
	Oh, really?
	She's amazing.
	And so she's on OnlyFans.
	So we had her on, and she was just, I got drinks with her on Sundays.
	She is just the nicest, one of my most interesting humans that I met in my life.
	She's amazing.
	Yeah.
	Like an amazing, the nicest person I ever met.
	Like we had Whitney on.
	We had Whitney on and we talked about how Angela White did a two broke girls porn parody and Whitney made two broke girls.
	So we watched the clip of Angela White and then like made that into a clip for the show.
	And Whitney texted me.
	I said a clip she said, it's so funny, but we got to get some of the clips of the show in there.
	And within a second, I texted Angela White.
	She immediately responded back, talked to the producer, talked to the director, got it all done in 10 minutes.
	She's just a, she's a, she's an angel.
	Angela White is an angel.
	You know, it is interesting.
	A lot of like a lot of strippers and pornography women.
	Yes, sir.
	And men, maybe too.
	I don't know.
	I don't ever look at, you know, I'm kind of, I don't look at the wiener when I look at pornography.
	Ooh, I do.
	Really?
	Like, I enjoy a good blowjob porn.
	And you look at the wiener or you look at the mouth?
	I think I look at the mouth going up and down and the wiener's there.
	Yeah, but I know if you don't want to see the wiener, your brain won't see it.
	Yeah, I definitely see it.
	I definitely see it.
	I enjoy blowjob porn.
	I mean, but there's a lot of different porns out there.
	My personal favorite is bachelorette party porn.
	Oh, yeah?
	Yeah.
	You ever watch Dance and Bear?
	Dude, Dance and Bear is his company.
	I don't know if they're even still in business, but it'll just be these 25 horny housewives on a bachelorette party.
	The Dance and Bear rolls, and it's a male stripper with a huge bear mask on, and he just roams around and they all blow him.
	Oh, wow.
	Yeah, I don't know why.
	I think the idea of a housewife doing that is kind of erotic to me.
	That's why it's like the bear.
	It's like the new age door-to-door salesman kind of.
	Kind of.
	Yeah.
	And just her being intrigued by that.
	Willie Blowman, kind of.
	Ooh, Willie Blow.
	What a fucking pun that is.
	is that death of a salesman?
	I think it was, huh?
	Yeah.
	So now, when you, but now tell me this.
	So, how does that start to influence your sex world?
	Because, look, I try to stay off of pornography, right?
	I respect it.
	I've seen it all.
	I know what they're doing.
	I, but my problem is I start to then think of sex only in like the frames and the things you see on pornography, right?
	Yeah.
	So it's like, I'll think of like, and I notice this even like with a lot of women now, it's like you hook up and it's just like little thing.
	It's almost like you just go through these vignettes that are in pornography.
	It doesn't even feel like a lot about like physical touch anymore.
	100%.
	And a lot of guests have said that porn makes people delusional about how sex actually is.
	Not every time you're having sex is a girl going to be screaming at the top of her lungs.
	That's just not going to happen.
	So they always say stuff like that.
	But me.
	Oh, a lot of times if you're having sex, the girls not even be screaming at the top of a low murmur.
	Or saying anything.
	Talking like this.
	Oh, dude.
	Yeah.
	Oh, I'm the side.
	Dude, during sex, I am the side.
	Silent assassin.
	I know, I was saying that too on an episode a few weeks ago.
	Some girls were talking about what you should do when you're getting like head or something.
	I don't really, I don't say anything.
	I say, yeah, sometimes.
	Yeah, one of the girls was saying, like, just be like, oh, you're a good little slut, pat her head.
	I'm like, I'm not fucking saying that shit, dude.
	It's crazy.
	It's crazy.
	So I just like to stay quiet.
	Yeah, I think I would, yeah, I would say, yeah.
	I would say, oh, we got to get out of here.
	Some of those say stuff like that.
	I think a lot of times feel like some about to get caught.
	So, and I think that comes from having had sex outdoors.
	I think that comes from, you know, I got a be, you know, I got BJ'd behind a thin tree when I was young.
	So people could see the sides, but not the actual.
	Yeah, it wasn't a redwood, so it was tiny.
	Oh, yeah.
	Oh, cool.
	I mean, it was.
	So you were doing some public sex, dude.
	Just the way it happened, you know, I didn't have a place where somebody really could come over to my place.
	And a lot of poor people, you know, the early sex is outdoors.
	Interesting.
	But yeah, I totally get it.
	I think I'm sure a lot of people, there's many, many, many outdoor videos on OnlyFans.
	People definitely enjoy the thrill of being outdoor, I guess.
	And I guess viewers enjoy the thrill of, is this person going to get caught?
	That's a huge thing.
	Have you seen the compilation of bee stings during outdoor porn?
	I have not, but maybe that's a correlation of why Wendy Cummings got you a bee costume.
	Ooh, how about that?
	Full circle.
	I love that.
	So has that affected, but is that hard, though?
	Because if you're a guy who grew up with not a ton of sex, right?
	Or like, you know, because a lot, which is most guys.
	Yeah.
	You know, I mean, I had one sex person, two sex persons, women, until high college, right?
	Yeah, if you had a bunch of, if you had a lot of sex in high school, you're a dickhead.
	Oh, you're gross, bro.
	You're a rapist.
	Douche.
	I think, right?
	Like, if you had a lot of sex in high school, dude.
	You're a loser.
	Yeah.
	Dude, if you got chicks in high school, dork.
	Yeah, you're a sick fuck, homie.
	But.
	Yeah, no, the show, it's not, that doesn't make it that different for me, honestly.
	If anything, it's, it's, I've noticed that normal girls think I'm like fucking every guest.
	They say you have all these hot women on your show.
	And I'm like, we're just doing a podcast.
	Like, that's really it at the end of the day.
	But I've had just, you know, I've had women here and when they, I don't, you know, I've had women in anytime a woman's around, a lot of times you don't want them to leave.
	You know, it's like you get attracted to women.
	Is it hard to separate the work?
	You know?
	Ooh, yeah.
	Honestly, it depends on the girl.
	Like, there's definitely girls I've had on my show that we clearly vibe a little bit.
	And there's some that I haven't.
	And maybe some of them will get dinner afterwards.
	Like me and Adelaide will like got dinner that night.
	A few have gotten drinks with afterwards, but like nothing crazy.
	Can you legally make love to the or can you legally date them?
	Is that even a legal thing?
	I guess you could.
	I don't see why not.
	I mean, I haven't, wouldn't.
	I think either way, it would be unprofessional if I said maybe did it that night of the podcast, which I never have.
	But I think, I think that would be, that would be towing a line.
	I would say maybe if, let's say, I did a podcast and one of them lived in LA and the next month I was in LA and she was like, oh, let's get drinks.
	I would say, and then if we vibe, once again, never happened.
	If that happened, I guess that would be okay, right?
	That's two consenting adults.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	And watching, sometimes you watch the stuff.
	Like, do you have to watch porn to prepare for your guests then?
	Like, that has to be.
	Sometimes, because so a lot of, most of my guests, there's like porn girls and OnlyFans girls.
	The only, most of them are OnlyFans girls.
	So not all of them do porn.
	That's a good point.
	And that's not all of them do porn.
	Sorry.
	There's a lot that there's a lot that are just some, some don't even post like their boobs.
	Some literally don't even post boobs and make astronomical amount of money.
	So my guests vary from full-blown porn stars like Angela White to girls that literally don't even post their boobs to Whitney Comics to who does comedy OnlyFans.
	So it's whatever, but I mean, if that's...
	Yeah.
	Respect.
	Respect.
	She got them fucking tons, baby.
	Respect.
	She said it.
	She knows it.
	But yeah, so it really just depends on the guests.
	I'll definitely tune in.
	I got to subscribe for science, for research, the day of.
	But how do you do that?
	then they come in.
	Like, how do you even...
	But it's so hard not to.
	The algorithm is set where you're going to skeet at the end, buddy.
	That's true.
	But then again, it's also depends on what they're posting on their OnlyFans.
	Not everybody's posting the peak of what you want to see.
	What's your OnlyFans bill every month?
	I think I subscribe to like 28 accounts, but honestly, a lot of them are free.
	So a lot of girls do free accounts and then they'll charge in the DMs for a whole bunch of money for the nudity or whatnot.
	So I don't know if I buy everything in the DMs.
	I would say the bill a month, maybe 100, 200 bucks.
	Not many girls do too many high prices.
	A lot are free.
	Wow.
	And I really, I don't buy much content from my guests.
	I literally just look at it.
	Sounds stupid, but journalists, I'll just look at like when you subscribe to them, the DM that comes up, what they're offering, how much they're offering stuff for.
	I've also found like a great way to prepare for the guests is to go through their Twitters.
	They always tweet fun stuff, TikTok stuff.
	Yeah.
	A lot of dating questions, like talk about dating.
	But no, actually the porn itself, I don't watch too much of the porn.
	I also do it at work.
	I can't watch too much porn at work.
	But then again, it's work.
	But it does.
	There's something that feels, if you're watching porn at work, there's something that feels like you are not doing well.
	Would you agree with that?
	Yeah, if you tuned it into the job site, it's probably not the best.
	You never want to log into X Hamster from nine to five.
	But yeah, I mean, it happens.
	There's some porn girls and some OnlyFans girls.
	And honestly, they're all great.
	I'm a massive fan of all of them.
	Interesting, man.
	So you're able to separate the work and the sex?
	100%.
	A big thing, too, is like the first episode we did, we had this girl, Genie Eximon, and she offered me to be in an OnlyFans video with her.
	That's what I saw you and Caleb talking about when Caleb was in here last time.
	She offered me to be in an OnlyFans video with her, meaning me and her having sex.
	And I don't know.
	No.
	I said no instantly.
	I just, I don't really see the, I really, first off, I told my mom I want to make a sex date ever, which I'll oblige by.
	And number two, I, like I said earlier, I really don't have a I want to do a chase.
	If you're just offering me sex, I'm not interested kind of.
	I want to be able to get it properly.
	I like the whole idea of that.
	So there is some romantic.
	You're romantic kind of in a way.
	I would say so.
	Yeah.
	I want to know I could charm a lady.
	Yeah.
	Like there's, there's times I'll be out of the bar.
	Like there's times I've been at a bar and obviously I'll do whatever, whatever.
	But when you're at a bar and a girl just says yes to, hey, you want to go back, that's just as good.
	Right.
	That's just as good.
	Okay, so sometimes that abund that'll oblige it.
	That'll oblige the issue.
	Yeah, just follow them.
	Be like, oh, she said, yes, we're good here.
	I'm happy with it.
	Right.
	I should, yeah.
	But on a regular, but if you have your wits about you and you haven't drank in a day or two and you're thinking to yourself, you know, I'd like to meet a woman.
	I'd like to, you know, be a man of stature.
	Kind of, to quote John Mulaney.
	Yeah.
	I just love talking to women.
	Yeah.
	I love women.
	Well, now, see, do you think it's increased your ability to speak to women on the regular or do you think you still kind of compartmentalize it in one and the other?
	Like your show and then meeting a woman in the wild?
	I do think I've always, I think I've always been good at talking to women, but I think it was more of in a friend zone type of way.
	Definitely in a friend zone type of way.
	Now I think I talk to women and at least they like look at me as remotely some sort of a sexual object, which is nice.
	But I would say that I was actually watching a Chris Rock stand-up.
	Not even a stand-up, he was on Fallon, I think, like last week, actually.
	And he was saying he was trying to get with Rihanna once he got single.
	And Rihanna didn't even look at him as a sexual object.
	She uncleized him, he said.
	That's almost how I kind of felt like it was back in the day.
	Now I feel like at least I'm not being sexualized.
	Okay, so now at least you have some sexual object.
	I think I got a fighting chance.
	I was going to battle without a sword.
	Now I at least have a sword.
	Right.
	Which I'll take.
	Right.
	You were never Babe Ruth, but now you're at least Ruth.
	Yeah.
	Or babe.
	Baby Ruth.
	Anybody.
	I'll be a solid 250 hitter, 20 home runs a year, 80 RBIs.
	I'm happy with that.
	I don't need to be Babe Ruth.
	But now I'm going to battle.
	I at least got a sword.
	I got a hammer.
	I got something with me.
	Right.
	Interesting, man.
	Yeah, I've just kind of been curious what that world's like.
	It's a fun world.
	Yeah, I'm sure.
	Well, look, I mean, you get to talk to women.
	We get excited when we get women in here.
	Yeah, then really, they're all very, very cool.
	They're cool chicks.
	Yeah, I have some close friends that are OnlyFans or Do OnlyFans.
	It's kind of become a way that women can take the control of the sexual industry if they're involved in any form of the sexual industry or even just like an artistic element of sex.
	Yeah, it doesn't even, it honestly doesn't even need to be sex.
	I know girls that do cooking content on there.
	Right, right.
	I guess sexualized something.
	100%.
	And then if you're a good-looking chick, there's just so many of them that just make so much money.
	And like I said, really don't even post nudity.
	Now, what about the world?
	What suggestions would you have?
	Say that there's women that don't think of themselves as sexy women, right?
	They don't think of themselves.
	They see like a, you know, like one of these blonde kind of trying to think a sideboard.
	A blonde Bobby show.
	Yeah, a blonde fucking Hermione Granger or whatever, and, you know, in a two-piece or whatever.
	And they're like, I can't be that, right?
	How do they create an OnlyFans that could be marketable?
	Well, that's what a lot of people say.
	I mean, one of the beautiful things about OnlyFans is so many girls, there's a market for everything, I've learned.
	Yeah.
	Literally a market for everything.
	So if you're not feeling maybe like a, maybe like Bo Derrick, there's still probably guys that are in the market for what you're selling.
	Yeah.
	And that's just completely a fact.
	I mean, one of my favorite questions to ask every guest, I'll ask every guest this, is what is your most interesting, odd subscriber request you've come across from your subscribers?
	And they all say the most ridiculous things.
	There's people out there that will like you for you no matter what.
	There's a category for everybody, I think.
	And I've learned that.
	Yes.
	Do you think it's healthy for women to do OnlyFans?
	Do you gain any thought on it by getting to meet a lot of these ladies?
	And have you, what do you think about that?
	I think it's interesting and it depends on the way they think about themselves, kind of.
	Like if there's a, there's a lot of girls that will complain to me about they can't find a boyfriend because they're doing OnlyFans or something.
	And I'll tell them all the time, like I say this all the time.
	There was a point in my career at Barstow where so many comments about me were like very, very mean.
	And like I just thought to myself, I'm not going to, like, I'm just going to stop reading them because I don't mean this to sound the wrong way, but I think like probably if there's like some guy, and these are also people that are commenting super mean shit about me on Twitter.
	So that guy probably is more mad at himself.
	I guess he doesn't like himself and he's just deflecting that onto me to be mean to me.
	So I'm telling the girls that I'm, I always tell them, even off camera, I'm telling them if someone is being mean to you, calling you, let's say, a whore for being on OnlyFans, they're probably just jealous that they can't do what you do, that they don't have that opportunity to do what you do.
	Because let me tell you, the money they make and what they do, it's unbelievable.
	OnlyFans is, it's a crazy platform.
	And if you, and anyone that would make fun of them for doing that, I just think is crazy.
	They're geniuses.
	I often say they're geniuses and they're literally geniuses.
	Well, I mean, it's like, yeah, people will call you a whore.
	They will call you a fat.
	They will call you a Piss baby, or whatever.
	But a lot of that is on them.
	It's on them.
	I've never, I've often said this.
	I've never wanted to talk shit about somebody that I didn't care about, if that makes sense.
	You didn't have some like you know, there wasn't some ink intrigue.
	Yes.
	If there's, like, I'll often see, like, maybe a douchey-looking dude with a really hot girlfriend that he's tatted up, but oh my God, this fucking guy.
	Yeah.
	Like, the OnlyFans girls, it's one thing I say.
	They love to fuck the ink guys.
	The OnlyFans uptick is huge for the tattoo community.
	Really?
	They're all banging tattooed guys.
	Wow.
	Yeah, it's crazy.
	What is that, you think?
	I don't tattooed guys.
	Dude, you'd be shocked.
	And I'll say this, a tattooed girl, pasty skin, you know what I'm saying?
	That boo Radley skin.
	You're out on a girl on tattoo lady?
	You're out on a girl tattoo?
	Like a full sleeve?
	You don't find that attractive?
	Oh, yeah, yeah, I do.
	I mean, I like that, you know, if there's a pasty, like, like, you know, some girl who's just like, oh, dang, I'm, oh, you know, fuck, I'm ready.
	Yeah, they're intimidating gals, but the dudes, the girls love tattooed guys.
	Every guy they're fucking is.
	Basically, their dick is tattooed.
	Well, you can also tattoo crazy stuff around your wiener that makes it seem awesome.
	You could tattoo like a large dick, you know, four inches ahead, you know, like, like, like, you know, stop, you know, turn around here for more.
	Dude, have you ever seen the show Gigolos by any chance on Showtime?
	Oh, it's fantastic.
	It's great television.
	It was like a lie.
	It was basically a, I think, a fake reality show that was on Showtime.
	I found it after dark one night in high school.
	And it's just these four Gigolos hanging out in Vegas and fucking chicks doing their job.
	One of the guys on that show, Nick Hawk, he had a tattoo where it was basically almost like venom from the Spider-Man movies was taking over half his body.
	So like all this was tattooed just black, like Venom was taking over him.
	And it went all the way down to the tip of his dick.
	Like literally his shaft was tattooed.
	Full shaft.
	Wow.
	Yeah.
	You know, a lot of men that are secretly gay will ask their wife to get like butt cheeks tattooed around their vagina.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	I guess it kind of makes sense, you know?
	Yeah.
	A vagina tattoo sounds pretty rough, though.
	That's almost worse than a dick tattoo.
	And a dick tattoo for a fact, you got to say hard for.
	Or they'll have him write like this as a butt and like point at it or something, you know?
	Anyway, I just.
	It's not down there.
	It's up there.
	Yeah.
	It's just interesting.
	What are some like moments like working with like as a sidekick with Caleb, what has it been like?
	Has there been some unique moments?
	Like he told us about a time when you guys got to hang out with Aaron Rodgers all day.
	Because yeah, we only see that.
	Oh, that's you guys?
	Yeah, it's my phone background.
	Wow.
	Dude, I mean, like, I've watched that clip a bunch of times from the show, but like Caleb said, he was just the coolest, the coolest person I've probably ever come in contact with.
	He was amazing.
	And he was, as Caleb said, he was like old school, cool.
	It almost felt like he were hanging out with Frank Sinatra.
	He just had that vibe about him.
	And he was just the coolest guy and just amazing.
	We hung out with him, drank for hours, and could not have been nicer.
	And just, he was a joy.
	But yeah, we've had some weird, some weird ones.
	I mean, in the last year, I would say the two craziest things that we've done, thanks to Caleb and just Sunday Conversation, I guess.
	I fucking sang rock star with Nickelback on stage.
	That was sick.
	And then I want to be a rock star.
	And yeah, no, I mean, the biggest one, which like I still don't even let my brain think about is fucking, we had a Drew Braggmore on Sunday Conversation.
	I kissed Drew Braggmore.
	Oh, that's right.
	You did, huh?
	Fucking Drew Bragmore.
	Did they make you do anything before?
	Like, did they test your mouth?
	Did they swab you?
	Did they like frisk your jowls or whatever for anything?
	So Drew walked in, and I've always been a massive Drew Bragmore fan.
	Probably my favorite actress.
	I'm obsessed with Drew Bragmore.
	I've always been.
	Yeah.
	She's like hot Macaulay Cole.
	Me and my mom have been watching Wedding Singer together since I was a baby.
	I love Drew Bragmore.
	Just hearing her voice first, I heard her voice.
	I was so starstruck.
	And then Caleb, so Caleb hands me this thing.
	He says, wrote a quick script at the end.
	We're going to talk to Drew about it.
	She walks in.
	We say, okay, Drew, you and Glenn are going to do a quick skit at the end.
	You're going to pretend you guys are at a restaurant in Australia because I was dressed like an Australian man.
	And then it's saying, Drew says, oh, no, I don't want to eat.
	What I want is you.
	And then it's like, go in for a kiss.
	And we obviously tell her before, you guys don't have to kiss, but just like, get up and like pretend to go in for a kiss.
	But do whatever you want.
	And then we're doing it.
	This part got cut.
	We're shooting the whole time and the whole time sitting there saying, what's going to happen?
	What's going to happen here?
	And before, I forgot what Caleb asked her, but she was basically saying in her acting career, she's never wanted to fake things.
	And I'm telling myself, does this mean this, does this mean Drew Barrymore is about to kiss me right now?
	And the way she was talking, she kept saying how she never fakes things in acting.
	And we started reading it.
	And as you see there, she got up out of her chair and then came up and sat still like right in front of me and then said in the line.
	And then she went in for a kiss.
	And then we kissed.
	And I just said to myself, I just fucking kissed Drew Barrymore.
	Wow.
	That's otherworldly.
	Drew Barrymore is that Drew Brymore's upper echelon.
	It's fucking Drew Barrymore, dude.
	And then we fucking, Caleb told her, well, not that we just did this for fun.
	We had to.
	We had, as you see in the clip too, we had to get a shot of us both going in directly.
	So we had to get the cameras closer.
	So we had to shoot it again.
	And she did it again.
	I kissed her twice.
	Now, the second time, you have to feel like you're in like a little relationship.
	I did.
	I said to myself, am I about to go to dinner with Trebarrymore?
	Am I about to date Drew Barrymore?
	I would be so down to date Drew Barrymore.
	Like so, so, so down to date Drew Barrymore.
	Oh, man.
	And I know I was pretty excited when she posted on Instagram.
	I think she posted that clip.
	And she tagged me before Caleb.
	No big deal.
	She seems really cool.
	She seems like she's gotten into the podcast social media space.
	Like she gets it, you know?
	Yeah, she was.
	There's some people that are like getting really late to the train of like being okay with doing social media.
	She was so nice.
	And I will say, which is kind of shocking.
	Now, we've never really had a mean guest per se.
	I think as the guests get bigger and bigger, I'm noticing there's a reason why they get, why they're so big.
	And I think it's because they're just like good people.
	Everyone is just so nice.
	There's really no one that's mean.
	Not that anyone would be mean, but like they're all just exceedingly nice, like overbearingly nice.
	She was amazing.
	Like Drake was so nice to us.
	Rogers was so nice to us.
	Yeah, he told us about that.
	What about who was one that you didn't get to spend time with?
	So there's a difference between a lot of them will be, well, like Caleb said when he was on here, like they'll book it.
	Our booking people will book it and then they'll just be in and out.
	Like Ice Cube walked in and walked out.
	Kodak Black walked in and walked out.
	Then people we've hung out with, we hung out with Rogers a lot.
	Drake took us to dinner.
	Who were some other good ones we just broed down with?
	Let's see.
	Drew Drew left after, but I mean, it was Drew Bradmore.
	She's last leaf.
	Stephen A left after.
	What are some other good hangs we had?
	Michael Irvin hung out with us for a little bit.
	Yeah, he seems really entertaining.
	I would like to see Paul.
	I would like to see on there Joey B would be good.
	Oh, Joe Barrow?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, I think he'd be great.
	My current dream one, I think, is probably Larry David.
	I think Larry David would not only be, like, a few guests are mean to me, which is fine.
	I don't really care.
	I think Larry David would both be mean to me and Caleb, and he would just kind of take it over, which I think would be hilarious.
	And I think kind of my other, I know he's going, sadly, going through some stuff right now, but I think Jamie Fox would be really funny.
	I think Jamie Fox would be a great one.
	So I guess those are my current White Whales.
	Yeah, I think who else I would love to have on here is Quaid, Randy Quaid.
	I think it would be amazing.
	You guys, Dustin Poirier would be great on your show.
	I think Caleb might try to get him next year.
	Randy Quaid, where'd you get that from?
	He's just like, he's just so, I just, I don't know.
	I just wonder about his journey, what he's been up to.
	He's such like this iconic actor and played such an iconic character in National Lampoon.
	I don't know.
	I think I would just be interested.
	Would he be your acting world?
	No, I'd probably go Julia Roberts first.
	Respect.
	Who doesn't love Julia Roberts?
	Oh, dude, if she only knew what I would love to, if I just want to sit on a porch with her somewhere and watch her read something and watch have like a sweet tea with her.
	For some reason, I could see her enjoying a sweet tea.
	I don't think she'd let me sit that close to her, but that would be fine.
	I picture a porch.
	I picture a large porch, rocking chairs back and forth, like maybe the distance we're at right now.
	Julia Roberts would be a cool one.
	I really would say for myself, I think in the actress realm, Drew Brightmore would have been my pick.
	I do believe that.
	I mean, obviously, like Sandler would be cool.
	Oh, yeah.
	Sandler, Channing, Tatum, I think would be good.
	Tatum.
	Who else?
	But yeah, my top right now is like Larry David, Jamie Foxx, Sandler.
	Yeah, I'd be my top three.
	I met Trump at the UFCs.
	Oh, yeah, just like last week in Miami, right?
	Yeah.
	How was that?
	It was interesting, man.
	I mean, you're like, you know, I mean, I love being at UFC, right?
	So it's like, for me, it is literally, it's like being, like, you ever been baptized or whatever?
	Yeah, I got baptized.
	It's like that.
	Don't recall it, but yeah, I mean, I feel like though, I've never been to UFC, but just the vibe of it, how they just have everybody there, which just seems like one big, I guess, for you, obviously.
	Just an interesting VIP party.
	It's a who's who.
	It's almost like the Oscars for cool guys, if that makes sense.
	It feels like it's the who's who of actually who has some fucking nuts.
	You know, that's what it feels like a little bit.
	And I'm not even saying me, but it feels like, you know, that's the energy that Dana has, you know?
	Yes.
	You know, I got to talk to him for like maybe 12 minutes, just even talk about like some work stuff.
	And like, you know, and he's had a lot of great success and what he was sharing and stuff like that.
	And so that was really cool, how to work with advertisers, some business stuff.
	But then like Kid Rock is there, he rolls in with Trump.
	You know, we're in like Dana White's dress green room, right?
	And I've been trying to do some like, maybe some social media stuff with UFC.
	So it was my first time like doing some of that.
	But I get to be backstaged by the fighters, you know?
	It's like you're getting baptized, but right when you come up, two dudes are beating the fuck out of each other, right?
	Yeah.
	So it's like that, bro.
	And yeah, there's just so much going on.
	You turn this way, somebody's sad because they're going through defeat and agony.
	This way, somebody's a hero.
	This way, they're, you know, somebody just flatlined.
	This way, there's like some ring model trying on a new top.
	This way, there's Joe Burrow in the Bosa Bowl.
	Yeah, Justin Jefferson was there, I think.
	Yeah, I saw a bunch of people there.
	This way, there's just some lady that's there that has the biggest tits ever, right?
	And it's like, she has some jack dude is literally carrying one of her tits.
	Probably tatted up.
	Oh, he was so tatted up.
	Of course he was.
	And she can't even carry both tits, so she's balanced, and he's literally carrying the other tits.
	I want to be that guy.
	I want that job.
	Oh, it was that.
	So it just, there's so much going on.
	But then Trump rolled in, and it was just interesting.
	You know, I'd never met a president before, and I'd never met Donald Trump's before.
	Now, don't take us the wrong way, but did he know who you were?
	No, he didn't.
	His son knows me, Donald Jr.
	And I don't know if his other son, Eric, knew or not, but it was just interesting.
	Him and Mike Tyson rolled in at the same time.
	I'm assuming him, he's going to this event, and everybody's going to just be there, and he's going to have to say, kind of make it seem like he knows you, no matter who he's talking to, because where he is, everybody is, I guess, of notoriety.
	Now, as a person that gets to go to those things, would you say you're more excited going into the night to see the fights or just the spectacle of it?
	Oh, I think the fights, for sure.
	Yeah, I've never been to one where you're that close up.
	That close up, that seems like kind of a once you go there, you can't sit up tie.
	Yeah, I mean, I think I would just to see the fights, but it definitely, I felt real fortunate, you know, to go.
	And yeah, you're just seeing these guys and like, I mean, they're putting it on the line, you know, like I think in a lot of ways, comedians, strippers, fighters, you know, anybody that does something that puts themselves out there, you're all trying to gain like to be seen in some way, you know, some, you're all using something you have to attract, to get acceptance kind of in a way.
	100%.
	I mean, that's, I mean, I've never done setup.
	That's one thing I always tell myself.
	If I ever go to a comedy club or my friends send a clip of somebody doing setup, I will never say anything about anybody in the setup.
	If you have the balls to get up there, all power to you.
	Yeah.
	I think all power to you.
	Yeah, that's how I am about fighters, I think, because it's just so, like, I always had a tough time defending myself when I was a kid.
	And so, you know, I didn't feel like I had protection and shit.
	So you get to see these guys who are doing it and find out the different reasons that they're doing it.
	And it's all to me, it's real fascinating.
	You got into a lot of fights growing up?
	No.
	I got into maybe six fights.
	Ooh.
	that's hot.
	And we had a lot of brothers in the area, too.
	So every now and then, a brother will flare up out of nowhere, you know, and you'll be in a fight.
	But, but yeah.
	But it was, it was, it was interesting.
	Yeah, and Trump's just like, you're good.
	How are you doing?
	You're doing good.
	He's in president though.
	Yeah, you're great.
	You're doing great.
	Your parents are doing good.
	It was just, he's so like, he said, you know, I was like, my dad's been dead for like 42 years.
	And he's like, but before that, he was doing great.
	He's in parents.
	I'm like, you know what?
	He was.
	He was doing great before that.
	But actually, I kind of like, I was like, you know what?
	I appreciate that.
	That was worth the prize for Mission.
	That was better than any fight you're going to see.
	But yeah, he's just funny.
	But it was fun, though, man.
	It was just, that was a spectacle.
	And yeah, just to get to meet Joe Bro and then to get to listen to Dana and get to just be in the, see all the fans.
	It was great.
	What else?
	Let's get into some news.
	What do we got, Zachie?
	This is a story we were talking about earlier.
	There's a teacher in Oregon who's on leave right now because he assigned the students in class to write their sexual fantasy for a report.
	Did he not check with anybody else before he did this?
	You can read it for yourself right here.
	Can you zoom in there?
	Can you read it?
	For those students who are absent, you'll write a short story or a paragraph or two.
	Stories of sexual fantasy that will have no penetration of any kind or oral sex.
	So no way of passing an SED.
	You will choose three items, romantic music, candles, massage oil, feather, or boa, flavored syrups.
	Use your story.
	Your story should show that you can show how you go about receiving love and affection without having sex.
	I don't think that's that bad, right?
	It's only worth 10 points, it says.
	10 points for much of the whole semester, though, but that's not horrible.
	I mean, it is no pen.
	I guess if you have to say no penetration oral sex, then it's not that great when you're in school.
	But that sounds kind of fun.
	Yeah, look, I think I'm not sure.
	Like, I think 40 years ago, I could see them doing this in school.
	This sounds like something you'd read out of the 70s that happened, you know?
	Like, when like it was more like free love, I think.
	And it was like, you know, tell us a, you know, write a softcore romance novel, unless they've been reading something like this in school.
	I mean, it's interesting because all kids are thinking about at this age, or what a lot of them are occupied by is sexual thoughts and energy.
	Fact.
	100%.
	Like you have people, there's some kids, you pat them on the back hard enough and they will ejaculate.
	Yeah.
	You know?
	And so it's like, that's just what's going on in their bodies.
	So I wonder if there is good ways to do, to create like positive sexual works that you're doing in school.
	If there is going to be one, I mean, I guess it's that.
	There's no penetration of oral.
	You could do a romantic tune, maybe some of the weekend or something like that.
	That's always fun.
	And then, yeah, they mentioned the flavored syrup, the foods.
	Maybe they could throw in some oysters.
	They didn't mention oysters there.
	They could throw in some oysters.
	Yeah.
	It's not a bad idea.
	Just maybe a home date, get some oysters, shuck them yourselves, get horny through that, throw on the tunes.
	That could be a paragraph or two for that class.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, I think, yeah, that would be interesting.
	And now I'll tell you this, everybody's going to show up to school to re-listen to other people's.
	But is it going to lead to people, you know, sending each other, you know, some people doing semen on a piece of paper and folding it up and, you know, giving it some?
	Or is it going to, you know, that Roar Shark text?
	Are they going to come just from hearing the stories in class?
	Right.
	Maybe if there's a way to tell it properly, I would imagine you can't really tell it properly, though, in school.
	I hope that's also not a project you're reading that loud.
	This sounds like a teacher only.
	But if the teacher only is reading it, to me, that has hella perves, dude.
	And then how do you know who's getting an A and who's getting a D?
	Yeah.
	What differentiates that one?
	Yeah.
	And if anybody gets a D, dude, that guy's going to jail.
	Yeah, maybe the most beautiful girl in class is walking out with an A plus and I'm walking in there with the D. It's not a good look.
	Even though my grammar may have been better.
	Dude, I remember somebody threatened a Spanish teacher in our bathroom and threatened to beat the shit out of him if they didn't get a B and he gave them a B. Oh, really?
	I wonder how often stuff like that actually works with teachers.
	My high school, my high school, there was like, we had tests at the end of every trimester that was worth about 30% of our grade.
	And then the average of those three trimesters was half of it.
	Then the other half was comps.
	And the end of the year test would be 50% of our grade.
	So my buddy literally at the end of senior year or junior year, whenever you're applying to colleges, he was so, I was bad at meth.
	He took it to a new level.
	He would be, he would truly average.
	I think his average was like a 45. He's an idiot.
	One of my best friends.
	Oh, yeah.
	Great voice.
	Great singer.
	One of my best friends.
	But he was really bad at meth.
	Great singer.
	Great singer now.
	Two times seven.
	Great.
	He sings like Grunge, 90s.
	But yeah.
	And he legitimately wrote a paragraph to the teacher at the end on the last thing saying, I really don't want to go to community college.
	Please, for the love of God, pass me.
	He got passed.
	Wow.
	Yeah.
	There's something about it.
	Look, there's a way sometimes, you know, to get things done.
	And some people are able to do that.
	I think in this instance, man, I feel like this is something you do in college.
	I feel like it's a little risque to do it in high school.
	I think it would be fine probably.
	But then also, if I'm a high school kid, dude, I'm jerking off, dude.
	You know, the second I get this assignment, the whole time I'm doing it, you know, if a girl, if I try to write homework with a friend, I'm going to try, you know.
	I also show this is ninth period class, not a first period class.
	I want to go directly home after this.
	I'm actually getting this first period.
	You got to hear some erotica at 9 a.m.
	Yeah.
	Little bathroom break.
	Yeah, you just roll into the hall with a mouthful of sweet.
	This has got to be ninth period.
	This has got to be last period.
	Dude, you have a mouth full of fucking sweet tarts.
	You're just rocked up.
	And then everyone's probably walking around the hallway saying who had the best sex story of the day.
	And everyone's exchanging sex stories.
	this needs to be a ninth period type of thing.
	Wow.
	It's interesting.
	But then also, it's like, who could become a graphic novelist?
	You know, and this is where they start, and this is where they learn that they have that ability.
	What else we got, Zach?
	Well, you mentioned the weekend.
	This is a big deal.
	AI generated a fake song of Drake in the weekend, which is, I guess a lot of people in the industry are very concerned by this, obviously.
	Because I can't play the song, but if you hear it, it's pretty, it sounds like it's an actual track from these guys.
	Really?
	So someone has said AI create a fake weekend Drake collab.
	Yes.
	You got to shut AI down, dude.
	It's freaking me out.
	Okay, so the people are just saying, hey, make this video, make this song.
	It can do it.
	It can.
	I can confirm.
	I don't know if he wants me to say this because we didn't put it in, but I don't see why it wouldn't matter.
	I don't know if he showed you this either, but for Drake, Caleb made, used AI to make a Drake Sunday Conversation song, and then we played it for him.
	And he enjoyed it.
	It sounded like Drake.
	And it was a full song that Caleb wrote.
	And it was a full Drake song.
	It was like a legit rap.
	So Caleb wrote it, though.
	So AI didn't write it?
	No, Caleb wrote it.
	But whatever the technology was, it was literally sounded like Drake doing a whole rap.
	There was a beat rap.
	It was like Sunday Conversation.
	Shout out Caleb Lenny.
	Like all that.
	So what could we put in right now?
	Could we put something in AI?
	We could put in like a prompt, like a writing prompt.
	Could we put like have Glenny Balls give a wedding speech?
	You could do something like that.
	Yeah.
	The chat GPT thing.
	Yeah, that thing you can.
	I experienced this for the first time like last month.
	Yeah, we think a lot about this stuff.
	It's just like, I find that the stuff you get a lot of times, it just feels like a dumb version of something.
	It feels like kind of a ripoff.
	Of the AI stuff?
	Of whatever you're creating.
	Yeah, if I say, how can I get a Glenny Balls like restaurant review or whatever?
	Well, there's going to be no personality.
	It's a goddamn computer doing it.
	So I definitely get it.
	But I mean, if you want to, I feel like if you're writing in work tone, you can probably pull it off.
	Like we know when people start off work emails saying kind regards.
	What's a good point?
	Or hey all, stuff like that.
	Maybe people like that, like people working for tax firms can get away with it.
	Right.
	Do this, do these taxes, maybe?
	Yeah, like a wedding speech right now.
	If we're going to have me do a wedding speech, I want to imagine, actually, I'm going to be the best man at a wedding in October for the first time.
	So I got to give a speech.
	I've been thinking about it.
	I want to personalize it to the couple, you know?
	Right.
	I want to make it, make it homey.
	Let's see what it would be.
	Do you want to read it?
	I'll read it.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	I mean, read something.
	Yeah.
	Oh, I can just go, sorry.
	What's up, everybody?
	It's your boy Glenny Balls.
	Today is a special day because we're here to celebrate the love between these two amazing people.
	I feel honored to be standing here in front of all of you to give this speech, but let me tell you, I am a little nervous.
	I mean, I'm used to being in front of cameras before, but this is a whole different ballgame.
	First of all, I want to congratulate the happy couple.
	You guys are awesome, and I'm so happy for you both.
	I remember when you first told me about you two, and I could just tell right away that you were meant to be together.
	You just had this connection, this spark that's undeniable.
	And now here you are about to embark on this amazing journey together as husband and wife.
	To me, what does it feel like to you so far?
	It feels like a cookie cutter wedding speech.
	And it goes, I have to admit, when I was asked to give this speech, I wasn't sure what to say.
	I mean, what do you say to wedding?
	But then I realized it's actually pretty simple.
	You just have to speak from the heart, and that's exactly what I'm going to do.
	This keeps going.
	Yeah, it sounds like somebody trying to get through an essay that has like the original, like four good sentences.
	As someone that has to do a best man speech in October, I might use this and just like add a little bit, like find different things I could put in there because that does sound pretty damn good.
	It's a good point.
	And now that's one thing about just life, you know, it's like it's the one wanting your voice now, in the voice of Theo Von, because I think the more search someone has online, the better it's going to be at writing one.
	Okay, I'll read the beginning.
	Go back.
	What's up, y'all?
	It's your boy Theo Von in the house.
	Oh, it's cat, dude.
	That's horrible.
	I got to say, I'm honored to be here today celebrating the union of these two beautiful people.
	Y'all know I've been to some wild weddings in my time, but this one takes the cake.
	And speaking of cake, I hope there's going to be some good eats up in here tonight.
	Jesus Christ.
	Hell yeah, brother.
	I think they switched it.
	They made me sound like a freaking black guy.
	I mean, I appreciate that.
	Dude, I love that.
	You know, I don't know if you hit like, you know, shift B and freaking gave me the Ashton.
	People send this stuff up.
	I can say people, fans send in AI Theo Vaughn voice every day.
	Every day.
	Yeah, this just seems, to me, it's fine, but it's just like if you want, but you're all right that it gives you the bare bones of something.
	It feels like it'll give us a good talking point, a list of talking points.
	And I literally may use that.
	It's a nice bare bones way to start.
	If I get married, I'll do it for vows.
	I think you, now, this could definitely be a lot for if you're doing papers in college, if you're doing something for the boss, like or, you know, some pretty generic stuff where all you're doing is just kind of checking a box anyway.
	Where it should be literally sound computerized.
	It's about sound computerized.
	Right.
	100%.
	That's a good call.
	For anybody that's still having to do like just basic stuff that doesn't even really matter, but it does because it's checking a box.
	I feel like that could probably be really something of use to you.
	But then more than ever, having some sort of personality is going to be of value.
	Yeah, I mean, there's no reason why if I was doing a normal work, let's say I do a report to a higher up after a good week of work, why don't I just put in there great week of work for everybody on the team with Melissa, Kelsey, and Bill, and then just copy and paste it, personalize with myself, bing, bang, boom, send it out.
	I'm done.
	Oh.
	Every Civil War paper from school is going to be done here.
	It's like any war, any history papers, it's a wrap.
	Yeah, does it do like stuff like that?
	Can you just write, can I have a 300-word summary of the Civil War?
	Yeah.
	Whoa.
	They should do the sexual fantasy prompt to it and have it write for the kids.
	See, now, if you're on there, though, and let's say someone on there is on there in Wisconsin and types in the same exact thing, are you getting the same exact answer?
	Well, that's the problem.
	Let's do the sexual thing for the children.
	And that's...
	That's going to be the bane of my existence.
	Let's do the sexual thing for the children.
	I'll go down with you.
	Oh, no.
	We just fucking talk anymore because people are just making everything out of any moment.
	I have to manually write it because it's a screen grab.
	I can't copy and paste it.
	So check back on this towards the end.
	Give us another topic and then we'll get back to it at the end.
	What else happened?
	What's something big in the headlines?
	I saw that there's that Chinese sun.
	Did you see that article somewhere, Zach?
	You know what I'm talking about?
	Yeah, Chinese artificial sun breaks new world record by burning hot plasma for nearly seven minutes.
	Now, this is interesting.
	That's some Spider-Man 2 type shit.
	That's what Doc Hawk was doing.
	Get us to the beginning of it, Zach.
	All right.
	Yes, you read that correctly.
	The country has a huge device.
	China has a huge device that has been able to generate a plasma temperature of 160 million degrees Celsius for 20 seconds in the past.
	Right?
	So that's as hot as the sun, right?
	I would say so.
	That does not sound good.
	If not, it's still really hot.
	But that's 20 seconds in the past.
	Can you zoom up?
	Zoom down, sorry?
	According to the Global Times, the East performed a high power, stable, steady-state, long-pulse, high-confinement mode plasma operation for a whopping 703 seconds now.
	That's like six minutes.
	Yeah.
	Holy shit.
	Bro, can you imagine?
	That's how long it takes me to drive to the fucking Delhi and stuff, dude.
	That's fucking insane.
	Yeah, that's enough time for you to drive to a Deli.
	100 six minutes?
	So imagine, say, it's like, dude, if China makes a fake sun, I mean, that's the biggest weapon on the planet by far, obviously.
	Unreal.
	You give me fake sun against nuclear weapon.
	I'm going fake sun.
	What if the nuclear weapon theoretically just disintegrates?
	Would it just disintegrate into the fake sun?
	Well, dude, imagine they send a fake sun to fight a real sun.
	Marvel's out of business.
	What are we going to strike back with the moon?
	No.
	No, the moon, I think, is low-key.
	Yeah, dog.
	No disrespect, but he's...
	Here we're going back, though.
	People said a lot of things about him.
	Fire always beats ice, which is a problem for us.
	And they're first to the jump on fire.
	Bro, imagine, though, you're already working all day in China.
	And now they're like, guess what?
	The day's over.
	We got another day.
	The sun's back.
	Coffee wasn't.
	The sun's back.
	People are like, what the fuck?
	But it's not big enough to go to the whole country.
	It's going to be like in your town specifically.
	Just two extra hours per town.
	Beijing's just getting fucked up tonight with my sun.
	And then it goes over to out of leaving nowhere.
	Bro, imagine all the school kids going to be like, you are my son, Shin, my only son, Shin.
	Dude, get home.
	It's going to change all the songs.
	Dude, they can't have another song.
	That would be unfair.
	The itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout.
	Owl.
	Death turned the sun two times.
	But now spiders are anywhere.
	Tough day for owls in China, huh?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, dude.
	Owls, dude.
	Owl of business, bro.
	It's a rat.
	What are some other nocturnal animals?
	I don't know many.
	But dude, if they have a fake fucking sun, Zach.
	Yeah, it's kind of a checkmate.
	I don't know what's bigger than a checkmate of a fake sun, which I guess theoretically is a real sun.
	But when you can, right, but when you can create your people to work 20, when you have like no night, when you can have people work all day and then have a second group of people, so your GDP is going to double.
	So you're saying this sun is more of, it's going to get more people to work.
	I'm thinking the sun itself, just having a second sun is a weapon in itself.
	Yeah, I mean, you could say like they don't want us to get any sleep.
	That's their first.
	It's like we all go to bed and they're like, guess what?
	Nevada, here's a sun at night.
	You're like, oh, shit.
	Here comes the Chinese.
	I'm envisioning this is just like a burning thing.
	If they're just throwing a ball of 160 million temperature Celsius at us, we're kind of fucked.
	But I don't know if you could throw a sun.
	Well, I think you send it.
	Yeah.
	I feel like it's a guess, right?
	It's going to be sponsored by Happy Dad, I bet.
	Maybe.
	I have no idea.
	I have the fantasy if you want to read it.
	All right.
	So I abridged it slightly, but it's just write a short story in a paragraph or two.
	No penetration of any kind or oral sex.
	Choose three items to use.
	So if anyone wants to read it.
	You know what you read?
	This is your world.
	All right.
	She walked dimly.
	She walked into the dimly lit room.
	And this is a child.
	Sorry.
	And I just want to preface.
	I'm sorry to interrupt you.
	This is a child, your student, writing this to you.
	You are the substitute teacher or you are the teacher.
	Yes.
	And you've had the kids write this paper.
	She walked into the dimly lit room wearing nothing but a silk robe and high heels.
	As she approached the bed, she reached into her pocket and pulled out a small vibrating egg.
	She turned it on and placed it on her clit, moaning salt on her CLIT as the pleasure pulsed through her body.
	Next, she picked up a feather and trailed it lightly over her skin, shivering at the sensation.
	Finally, she grabbed a bottle of warm oil and poured it over her B-R-E-A-S-T-S, rubbing it in with her hands.
	She closed her eyes and surrendered to the sensations, lost in her own pleasure.
	Oh, sir, I need to go to the restroom.
	Dude, I couldn't believe they dropped that four little word in there.
	Bro, that immediate, you know how many kids went the hall fast?
	Dude, that was also, that was erotic.
	GPT's horny.
	Yeah.
	That AI guy is horny.
	That was way more erotic than I think a lot of kids are turning in.
	But you know what is almost kind of nice about this?
	The feather lightly over the skin.
	This is something that I kind of miss.
	I miss reading in the pornography magazine.
	You would read the article because all you had was an image.
	So you had to read to make the image come to life, you know?
	Yeah, the few, I will say the few times I've, I haven't been recently, but back in the day, I was a bit of Reddit jerk off guy.
	Yeah.
	And Reddit, there was a, there's like a whole thing called Gone Wild on Reddit where people just like post nudes non-stop.
	But I remember there was a gone wild, I forgot what it was called, maybe Gone Wild story or something like that.
	People just write like erotic stories.
	They kind of get you going.
	They rev you up.
	Damn.
	Oh, yeah.
	Well, there's something.
	Yeah, you read it.
	You're like, because you know you have to get to the next sentence.
	So your brain knows you have to use your brain literally to get there.
	Each word is another little moment and it's keeping you.
	Dude, I mean, I remember I would go to the library in our town, and they had those art books from like the 1500s or something.
	Oh, yeah.
	With the Rubinesque women.
	Oh, yeah.
	The Rubinesque women.
	Laying by a stream and his little angel above her.
	Absolutely.
	You know, when she's having a little cut of pear, a little cut of apple or something.
	And she just got, you know.
	If that's your supply, you got to get high on that supply.
	Gosh.
	And that's all tit.
	Some of her tit is even heading for the riverbank.
	You know, she's right on that riverbank where it's like, damn, that river's about to get that tit.
	I'm jealous, dude.
	But yeah, I mean, that's a big thing with, I guess, sex, if you're not actually having sex, imagination of it is such a big deal.
	And I guess through erotic stories, you're just pop it off with imagination.
	Well, that's kind of what I think the actual video pornography kills a lot of times.
	And it's not a judgment against anybody that, I mean, I've had addiction to it in my life.
	But it does kill that part of your imagination.
	The imagination is what activates your cells kind of.
	I love the amount.
	I will actually say that people may think I'm lying here.
	I would say probably half the time I masturbate.
	I think I'm going imagination.
	Wow.
	Yeah.
	Amen, brother.
	I fucking.
	Yeah.
	Salute.
	I enjoy the imagination masturbate.
	I do.
	Oh, dude, I used to take that book, and I've discussed it before, and I would literally put my wiener in the book, in the library.
	In the book?
	In the library, and close the book on it as hard as I could.
	That's what got you going?
	Well, just there was just something about just the pressure of it.
	Well, it was so hard to find it because usually they had a picture of like a bring up breast art.
	Oh, I guess it's the closest you could get to the beautiful lady from 1400s.
	Yeah, breast art from 1400s.
	Bring it up.
	That's very fair.
	That's very, very fair.
	Please.
	So in your brain, you're just getting that as close as possible to the queen.
	Oh.
	I would actually love to see one of these photos.
	Yeah.
	There we go.
	Ooh, look at that lady.
	But Dubai Riverbank.
	Oh, yeah, she's good, actually.
	That's pretty.
	That's something.
	She looks cute.
	There we go.
	There's a couple of them.
	I wonder how long the artist is sitting there doing this for.
	I don't know.
	But I definitely.
	And is she just sitting there topless the whole time?
	Yeah.
	Yep.
	And do buy Riverbank if you can.
	That's a party in the top left.
	Yeah, no, that's some angels in the woods.
	Sometimes some of that was hard to find a breast in because of you just, I want the immediate breast right by the river.
	You know, because I think the river also offered a way you felt like you could escape.
	Once again, it's public.
	Yeah.
	I want to see the titan go.
	I want to be on my way.
	But yeah, I would just close my body into that book because it was the only pornography that we had.
	It was all what we had.
	Yeah, I mean, earlier when you were mentioning that, you would go five miles to get your eyes and some porn.
	Yeah, that's all you got.
	That's fair.
	And that was after that came out.
	So this was the first thing that it was at the libraries, man, when you would see it.
	And it was good, man.
	It's the best, dude.
	There's nothing I've said many times on OnlySands, there's not many better things just seeing some boobs.
	They're just awesome.
	It just really just eases the soul, eases the mind.
	It's like finding a mystery.
	Like finding the killer and who done it.
	Just see what they look like.
	It's like Mother Nature's nuts, dude.
	Some good tips.
	It's really the best.
	It really is.
	No dispute.
	Do you get a lot of invites to restaurants and stuff?
	Do people do that a lot?
	I feel like probably being a more Rubinesque male, that a lot of people are like, come here, come eat here.
	You'll love this.
	But also having an appreciation for food.
	That's what I should say.
	Yeah, there's definitely.
	Sorry, I'm not trying to.
	No, dude, I don't care.
	I'm aware of my larger gentleman.
	No worries.
	But I would say, yeah, I do get a good amount of food invites.
	I don't always want to go, though, because there are some times where if you get invited somewhere, it's like an awkward scenario.
	Like you don't, you don't know.
	I'm assuming you go through the same thing where you don't know exactly what's going to be presented to you.
	So I don't do it all too often, but there's definitely been times like a guy who's seen like YouTube videos, actually.
	I was out in Manhattan on Friday and the owner of Peter Lugers, he saw me and he was like, oh, come in whenever you want.
	Like that I'll do.
	But if there's a random place that I don't know the people, then maybe I will.
	Like yesterday, the cheese shop, the guy, Dom, my friend knew.
	So those are experiences that are fun, obviously.
	It's like verified.
	I also don't know if a lot of restaurants, I don't know if the food's good.
	Because most of the people at the end of me are employees of the restaurants.
	They're obviously going to say their food's good.
	What if the food's not actually good?
	And then, yeah, it's awkward.
	Do you think you'll ever end up maybe doing a food show or something like that?
	It would kind of fit, huh?
	I would love to.
	I guess that would kind of be the goal.
	I like food TV.
	I really enjoy it.
	I mean, I used to do a burger show at work for quite a while.
	There was a good period of like maybe three years where I was just not doing that great at work.
	And I was always doing a burger show.
	And I enjoyed it, but I probably didn't, I don't think I was that good at describing the burgers.
	I would like to see now that I'm so much more comfortable in front of a camera, how I would redo it and just make it more.
	I would just put it out.
	I basically do like a Dave Pete's review, but with burgers, it definitely was just wildly less successful, obviously.
	But if I ever did a food show, I would like to do it way more, like high, more higher-produced.
	Maybe trying more different cuisines that I haven't tried.
	I have a lot of intrigue in that.
	Like Indian food, I would like to dive into.
	Maybe some Thai.
	Oh, yeah.
	I'm really enjoying Mediterranean food.
	Yeah.
	Stuff like that.
	Just expand on the old palette.
	So I would definitely like to do a food show at the time.
	For the time they were doing ice cream and OnlyFans, but maybe down the road, I do love food.
	Yeah, you got a palette for it, man.
	And that's nice.
	Because some people, their tongue, they really, it's got more intel in it.
	Yeah, when I had COVID, I couldn't taste anything.
	That kind of stunk.
	Yeah.
	That was horrible.
	Did you?
	We might have talked about everything.
	We've been here a while.
	Three hours?
	Yeah.
	Have you ever been to a live taping of an OnlyFans or pornography shoot?
	Dude, I have not.
	Is that something you would do or not?
	I think I don't really see the allure.
	There are some girls I know in LA right now.
	They're actually trying to get me to go to one tomorrow, but I got to leave tomorrow, right?
	So I'm not going to go, but they keep telling me to come.
	It's so much fun.
	I don't really see the allure of it.
	Like, if I'm not doing the fucking, I don't, why do I want to see somebody else do it?
	Yeah.
	So I don't really see the allure there.
	And I'm assuming it's awkward.
	I mean, for every porn person I've talked to, they make it seem like it's a pretty professional setting.
	It doesn't sound fun to go to.
	There's no wanting in my brain to want to go to a porn set.
	I like to see how the cookie gears crumble in a kitchen, maybe not on a porn set.
	I'll enjoy the porn.
	I'll need to see how it's made.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	I feel you, man.
	I don't think the actors want us there either.
	Yeah, I think it's probably, yeah, I don't know if you're sitting over there.
	I don't want to be like, say you're chewing gum or something and they look over and they're like, you know, then what?
	Yeah.
	You're talking in their shot, talking in their backswing.
	Yeah.
	Or just like, and you blow a cum shot.
	Oh, bro.
	You never want to blow a cum shot.
	Then you got to restart.
	Oh.
	Or you cheer when somebody ejaculates.
	See, that would be kind of cool, actually.
	There's a live audience.
	Like, that's the thing, though.
	If you want to go bills when somebody jumps over a table.
	I mean, you guys want to see.
	I mean, I bet they, not that I bet, I would guarantee if porn companies did live audiences for porns, they would pack it out.
	That's a great point, huh?
	That could be what's next?
	Yeah.
	You never know.
	You never know what's next.
	Thanks for stopping into this cheese shop, bro.
	Oh, dude, thank you very much for having me.
	This was a great time.
	I appreciate it.
	I had a great time.
	Thanks for hanging out.
	And just good to get to spend time with you, man.
	Yeah, I know we both love Caleb and getting to spend time around him.
	Yeah, he's our Venn diagram.
	He's our little guy in the middle.
	Yeah.
	There's something about him.
	I hope he stays alive, too.
	Same, dude.
	I hope all three of us stay alive.
	That would suck if we didn't.
	And if we die soon, this clip will kind of pop off, I guess.
	So, hey, but yeah.
	Yeah, I guess, you know.
	If it happens.
	If it happens, dude.
	I love you guys.
	Yeah, I love you guys.
	And I guess my parents could have the money I have.
	I don't fucking know.
	Whatever.
	Yeah, yeah.
	I think they can.
	How's your mother doing?
	Is she good?
	Yeah, she's hanging.
	She's still smoking or not?
	Yeah.
	Trying to get her off the old smoking, dude.
	She loves to smoke.
	Happens, though.
	I don't know.
	That's the only thing I've never done.
	I never smoked cigarettes.
	Yeah.
	Good for you.
	My friend says the drunk cigarette, though, was super, super enticing.
	I've never done it.
	Yeah, they was all pretty good when I had them.
	Yeah.
	Glenny Balls, thanks for coming in, man.
	Dude, thank you again.
	Appreciate it.
	It's great.
	Now I'm just falling on the breeze and I feel I'm falling like these leaves.
	I must be cornerstone.
	I can feel it in my bones.

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