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Jan. 24, 2023 - This Past Weekend - Theo Von

01:16:13

E427 Back From France

Theo is back with a solo episode of This Past Weekend. He talks about his recent trip to Paris Fashion Week, ski bros in Colorado, a new idea for zoos, and a lot more. He also responds to some of your voicemails, and shares an unexpected letter he received. ------------------------------------------------ Tour Dates! https://theovon.com/tour New Merch: https://www.theovonstore.com Podcastville mugs and prints available now at https://theovon.pixels.com ------------------------------------------------- Sponsored By: Celsius: Go to the Celsius Amazon store to check out all of their flavors. #CELSIUSBrandPartner #CELSIUSLiveFit https://www.amazon.com/stores/CELSIUS/ShopNow/page/95D581F4-E14E-4B01-91E7-6E2CA58A3C29 Manscaped: Visit https://manscaped.com to get 20% off plus free shipping with code THEO. BetterHelp: Visit https://betterhelp.com/THEO to get 10% off your first month. DraftKings: Download the app NOW, use code THEO, new customers bet FIVE DOLLARS on UFC 283 and get TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS IN FREE BETS INSTANTLY! Gambling Problem? Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY), If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisis counseling and referral services can be accessed by calling 1-800-GAMBLER (1-800-426-2537) (IL/IN/LA/MD/MI/NJ/PA/TN/WV/WY), 1-800-NEXT STEP (AZ), 1-800-522-4700 (CO/KS/NH), 888-789-7777/visit ccpg.org (CT), 1-800-BETS OFF (IA), visit OPGR.org (OR), or 1-888-532-3500 (VA). 21+ (18+ NH/WY). Physically present in AZ/CO/CT/IL/IN/IA/KS/LA(select parishes)/MD/MI /NJ/ NY/PA/TN/VA/WV/WY only. VOID IN OH/ONT. Eligibility restrictions apply. Free bets: Valid 1 per new customer. Min. $5 deposit. Min $5 bet. $200 issued as free bets that expire 7 days (168 hours) after being awarded. See terms at sportsbook.draftkings.com/footballterms. No Sweat: Valid 1 offer per customer per day of NFL 2023 Wild Card Round. Opt in req each day. First bet must lose after opting in. NFL bets only. Paid as one (1) free bet based on amount of initial losing bet. Max $10 free bet awarded. Free bets expire 7 days (168 hours) after being awarded. See terms at sportsbook.draftkings.com/footballterms. ------------------------------------------------- Music: "Shine" by Bishop Gunn: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3A_coTcUek “There is a Light” by Stonekeepers, ft. David Manuel: https://youtu.be/GlYmX8jvwz8 ------------------------------------------------ Submit your funny videos, TikToks, questions and topics you'd like to hear on the podcast to: tpwproducer@gmail.com Hit the Hotline: 985-664-9503 Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: https://www.theovon.com/fan-upload Send mail to: This Past Weekend 1906 Glen Echo Rd PO Box #159359 Nashville, TN 37215 ------------------------------------------------ Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheoVonClips Shorts Channel: https://bit.ly/3ClUj8z ------------------------------------------------ Producer: Zach https://www.instagram.com/zachdpowers/ Producer: Colin https://instagram.com/colin_reiner Producer: Ben https://www.instagram.com/benbeckermusic/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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	And looking forward to seeing you guys.
	Oh, man.
	I bought this button-up shirt.
	I got it on.
	I don't know if I like it.
	I don't know if I like being in this.
	I don't like, I will say it.
	I don't like being in this sort of shirt.
	I don't like, you know, this is the concept.
	We're going to button you up, boy.
	We're going to button you up, you little nasty boy.
	I just feel like they're like getting you ready for, I don't know.
	I feel like somebody's just packaging you up in some like a formatted.
	I feel like I'm being formatted.
	You ever formatted a document or something on Microsoft Word?
	And you got the document how you want it.
	You did as much as you could.
	You got a couple extra commas in there.
	If you like me, I eat, dude, unlimited commas, bruh.
	I do unlimited commas.
	Tiffany, comma.
	Ben, comma.
	Fucking the comma neighbor.
	All caps.
	Unlimited commas, bruh.
	But then you do formatting and it puts it into norm, you know, regular, whatever, so the teacher can grade it.
	And you give it to the teacher and they're like, this is a history report.
	What does this have to do with anything?
	And I'm like, well, that's history, baby.
	Tiffany been fucking a neighbor.
	You know what I'm saying?
	That's history, boo.
	That's in the books.
	That's in God's library now, son, because she did it.
	She did it.
	So anyway, I'm in a button-up.
	And for me, that's a lot.
	And also, I never liked, because when I was young, all the rich kids, they wore button-ups.
	They had the buttons and it was buttoned up.
	And damn, they just, you know, their lives looked buttoned up.
	And I didn't like them.
	I just didn't like it.
	It resembled something I didn't like.
	I think, in some ways, organization or something.
	I don't know.
	But something about it just always made me feel uncomfortable.
	But that's old shit.
	And today I'm doing it.
	I'm wearing it.
	I'm buttoned up for you today and with you today.
	And I'm grateful.
	I'm excited to be here, you know.
	I'm excited to be here.
	A lot of interesting stuff just been going on in my life and in your life.
	And I want to hear about some of it and talk about some of it and share, you know.
	But I feel a little formatted.
	I feel like, you know, this button up got me feeling, you know, just damn caged up.
	I don't know what I'm talking about.
	And I never have, baby.
	I'm happy to be here with you today.
	Let's get into it.
	Welcome to this past weekend.
	Whenever you die to cold, faceless, your story to go.
	Come take my hand and walk there with me I know a place where we can be free There is a light shining for you Guiding your
	way, helping you through Shadows and gloom are all that you see We'll find a place where we can be free From the mountain
	top, down to the deepest valley Hear a voice calling you It's the rising sun, shining in the darkest valley Can't you see you will be free?
	So that's a slow tune.
	That's an, you know, that's something we went with.
	And I, you know, there's something about it I like.
	There is a light.
	You know, there is a there is something to see that will keep you warm.
	There is a there is a possibility.
	There's something about that that always.
	Because it's hard to see a lot of times, man.
	Dang, it's hard to see.
	It's hard to see that possibility.
	I struggle with it a bunch, man.
	I don't want to see it.
	I don't want to see your possibility.
	I want to sit right here and boil.
	I want to boil in this dang.
	Just in this damn in this anger broth.
	I just want to boil in this anger broth.
	And it's hard to sometimes see some possibility.
	But it's always here, and usually it finds you.
	I notice when I'm fuming, boy, when I'm damn just, I mean just huffing my own damn.
	I'm just huffing my own fucking anger duster.
	I'm damn just huffing the damn keyboard cleaner of my fucking anger.
	Some type of possibility breaks in.
	Somebody makes me laugh.
	Something happens.
	I see a thing.
	A bird will fly by and shat on somebody window.
	God damn.
	And that's when God's breaking through and saying, hey, there's possibility out there for you.
	What's going on, man?
	It has been.
	I just got back from Paris, baby.
	France, son.
	I've never liked the French, I'll be honest with you.
	If you put 70 French people in front of me, I don't like them.
	I don't, I just, they just, the way they, they're like, they just, it sound like, uh, uh, you just want to just pat them on the fucking back, boy.
	I just want to spray paint my hand red, white, and blue and pat them bitches on the back and get the fucking truth out of them.
	What are you trying to say?
	It sounds like Japanese, but they fucking got their, but they're nasaled out or something.
	It sounds like somebody hit a bunch of cotton in a Japanese dude.
	Oh, yeah.
	Oh, yeah.
	Yeah.
	God, dude.
	You just can't get it.
	It sounds like somebody's just e-jacking out into the just somebody just got stuck in Jacket Latin.
	You know?
	Like, what the fuck are you talking about?
	So anyway, I'm angry.
	I guess I am.
	I am fucking keyed up today, man.
	A lot of shit going on.
	I'm trying to quit.
	Vaping, vaping, vaping.
	It's vaping, motherfucker.
	So I'm still on that shit, dude.
	God damn.
	I'll fucking put my tongue in a damn birdhouse, baby, and lick the walls.
	I don't care.
	That's just where I'm at today, dude.
	I'll eat a damn bird's ass, bro.
	No cap.
	Praise God, man.
	We're working through it.
	But, dude, I went to France.
	We went to, a lot has happened.
	I want to thank everybody that came out in Colorado.
	I just went into that advertiser voice.
	Like, whenever some of the ads are like if you're doing the date, the tour date reads, that's the voice sometimes.
	I just noticed that.
	Yeah, sorry, I'm amped up.
	I feel like there's so much to tell you guys.
	So, yeah, let's just start.
	I went over to Colorado and, man, it was awesome.
	God, it was fun.
	It was good.
	We went to Pueblo.
	And it used to be a native town.
	I think, you know, I don't know a lot of the history, but we went there.
	And it's beautiful.
	We went and saw the mountainsides in the distance, monuments, national monuments, beautiful place.
	I mean, just damn kind of place you want to just damn push your spouse off of, you know, just beautiful cliffs and dwellings and just God.
	It's where God shows up in places like that.
	That's where you get up on those mountains and you look out and you can hear God saying, This ain't an app, homie.
	Welcome to my band with dog.
	Look what the Lord's doing.
	And that was good.
	We seen a lady out there, too.
	I didn't know, you know, it's a mining town.
	If you're not familiar with that, and it used to be anywhere people mine, it's just people just damn digging in the dirt, looking for something, you know, and people, I mean, look, people dig far.
	You know, I grew up a lot of wishing, I grew up on the wishing well circuit.
	They had a lot of people.
	Our town was, you know, semi-famous for the number of wishing wells it had in it.
	So you'd see people rolling through town, just damn, just nickeling up the fucking earth, baby.
	Just fucking humming dimes into the, in the, into the, into Mother Nature's orifices, you know?
	Just damn, you just, if the wind blew right, you could hear damn 60 cents hitting the damn bottom of a well somewhere.
	People just wishing their ass off.
	We had about six whales in our town wishing whales.
	And if you're not familiar with a wishing well, a wishing well is basically it's like a, it's a, it's like a place you go to wish for something that you want.
	And I don't know how it started.
	I mean, I think, I guess a wishing well, somebody just, somebody dropped their money into a hole in the ground and just wished they hadn't.
	I mean, there's no other way for that to have had, you know.
	And then they probably felt so ashamed they just built a thing around it and just said, hey, everybody come do this shit.
	But, yeah.
	So we went to Colorado.
	It was, man, it was just great.
	People came out.
	So we had a couple of devout lesbians over there that got into a little violencia after one of the shows outside in Denver.
	That was interesting.
	Because that's where, you know, a lot of lesbians, they're starting to peek out.
	You know, when some lesbians, they got so much man in them, that shit will peek out every now and then.
	But they were just damn trying to beat each other into just, you know, I think, and it should be if enough lesbians beat each other and whoever wins gets to be a man.
	I mean, what are we doing, you know, if we're not giving goals and opportunities?
	If we're not, you know.
	Because if you see two, two, you know, two hardcore fucking, you know, wallet wanters out there, you know, they out there hunting that slick wallet, homie, and you see them go at it and one of them wins, what do they get?
	But one of them should be able to hit that final form and unlock just basic dude at a library.
	Yeah, you don't get top dude.
	You got to start it, you know, at, you know, at library dude.
	You got to start over there at Hogwarts Henry, babe.
	You don't get to start just at the top.
	You know, you don't get to be like a MacGyver or a, who's a famous young man that's talented?
	Joe Burrow.
	All right.
	What else?
	So anyway, that was Colorado.
	And now Pueblo, that was a mining town.
	And we saw they had a woman there.
	We passing down the street and the lady's over there digging in a garden, mining.
	We seen a woman over there just hand mining, just looking for items, and she had damn half of a Claire's boutique in her hand.
	She had probably, this bitch had a half of Zales in her palm.
	She, I mean, you know, there's pictures right here in the YouTube.
	If you're watching it, she had, you know, that bitch had half a Cole's jewelry counter right there.
	And it was funny because it was like, who would look?
	She was looking in like a, in a median of a walkway where a guard, you're like, who would ever look for gold there?
	And this lady was just hands and knees out there.
	And this lady, she, oh, she had a kind of a middle age.
	She was probably anywhere from like about 28 to maybe 55, 56. And she looked like Greg Valentine.
	That's who I'm thinking of.
	And he was a famous wrestler.
	And if you put them side by side.
	But she was out there digging in this garden.
	And we walked up and I figured maybe she'd been on some tough times.
	So we're going to, you know, drop her a little bit of cash and just say hello and check in on her.
	And she said, I'm looking here.
	I'm looking for treasures.
	And, you know, I asked her, well, why are you looking here?
	She goes, because nobody looks here.
	And I looked at the space and it was just a garden.
	It was like a place you wouldn't, nobody even walks through it.
	You have to like, it was up in the air and then a garden.
	It was like a kind of somebody you'd see like a, they'd put a garden in like the middle of a walking area in a nice part of town, you know.
	And then she showed me in her hand and she had damn some gold bullion in there.
	She had a couple necklace pieces and different gold.
	She had real gold she'd found.
	And I was like, damn.
	You know, just, I don't know, just interesting.
	This lady's looking where nobody looks.
	And if you'd have said in the beginning, hey, look there, everybody said, nah, that's crazy.
	Nobody even walks up there.
	There's not even a lad.
	There's no way to get, who would walk up there?
	And here she was, half a handful of gold.
	But yes, you reminded me of Greg Valentine, who I used to Love and adore, and he's probably dead, all right.
	Anyway, but yeah, I want to tell you.
	Then we went skiing, and um, what else?
	I got a letter from Kai the hitchhiker, which is blew my mind.
	Um, went to Paris, France, all those things occurred.
	Uh, but yeah, we went skiing, and it was magical, man.
	We went over to Beaver's Creek.
	And if you haven't been to Beaver's Creek, it sounds like a um, it sounds like a bladder infection, really.
	You know, it sounds like if somebody sits down, like a woman that sits down and she can't stop her vagina maybe from making a sound or, you know, like, like, there, girl, you know.
	Wouldn't that be crazy if some woman, women, if they sat down and their vagina made like a, uh, like you, like you guessed the wrong answer on a game show, like, that wouldn't be like, oh, dang, that woman's got a gay dude stuck in her vagina, bro.
	But, yeah, we went to Beavers Creek, bro.
	And it was magical, man.
	We just went out and there was nobody out there.
	It was the day after Martin Luther King Jr.
	Day.
	And it was just, I mean, there was nobody out there.
	And it was, oh, man, it was so amazing.
	We went out there and, oh, we met this one dude.
	Actually, this was like every dude, but there was this one dude.
	He like worked on the slopes, you know, he was like, bro, we caught Devil's Femur, bro.
	Yeah, right.
	I mean, it was fresh out of the gate, man.
	We got out there.
	It was just, you couldn't hear it.
	You could hear your fucking dick whisper, homie.
	We were out there, man, and it was like, I think it was top of the morning.
	I don't know.
	I've been on Molly and Computer Duster for like a while, you know.
	The doctor says I'm going to be fine, but that the residual effects of the computer duster could last for up to half a decade.
	So, but we were out there, man.
	God, it was sick, bro.
	Yeah, I broke both of my clavicles.
	Yeah, I can't even hug my stepmom anymore, but it's fine.
	She smashed like three of my friends anyway.
	So, whatever.
	My dad's rich.
	Dude, my buddy Vixen was out there with us, and we haven't seen him.
	Yeah, pretty sad.
	He just coasted off into the pines up there at Crippled Memphis.
	I don't know what.
	I mean, we're probably going to hold a vigil for him later if you want to pull up.
	Yeah, it's all you can drink.
	He'd want it that way, but we're going to auction off his van.
	I mean, it's not his van, but his dad hated him.
	You're like, what the fuck are we, what?
	What are we talking about here?
	Some of the people that worked up there, it was another level, but the place was beautiful and a lot of great folks.
	And got to go with my tour manager, Tim, and a lot of his boys from Montana, these group of white men.
	And it got, everybody was chill, man.
	Everybody was chill, but it was beautiful.
	So today's episode is brought to you by BetterHelp.
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	All right.
	We have great calls from you guys.
	I want to let you know about this.
	This is wild.
	So a while back, somebody made a face fake of me and put it onto the internet and social media.
	And so I am in it.
	You know, it's well, it's my face put over Kai the hitchhiker.
	Smash, smash.
	Samaj.
	He's the famous smash, smash, smasher.
	You know, he's that handyman that fucking couldn't find a nail cuz.
	You know who that is.
	That's him, baby.
	He's that hitchhiking nail hunter boy.
	You know, he's that DeWalt.
	Anyway, there's a documentary about him.
	He's the famous hitchhiker that hit a guy with a hatchet and hatcheted a guy out to save this kind of thicker little biscuit lady who was getting, you know, getting attacked or hugged out.
	The whole story is insane.
	But anyway, what happened was, so somebody put my face onto a Kai the hitchhiker onto his story, right?
	It went around on social media as we put it up on social media.
	So he filed a lawsuit.
	He says, or this document says, Caleb L. McGilvery, a jailhouse lawyer.
	He is apparently, according to this, he's a lawyer now.
	He says, I've just filed a lawsuit because of the video you made.
	If you want to settle outside of court, the U.S. Marshals will be coming to your door to hand you a summons.
	You'll never, if you want to settle outside of court, now's your chance.
	I'll settle for what my costs are, which is approximately so-and-so amount.
	And then he wants the videos down.
	So, and he will withdraw the lawsuit and we can go our separate ways.
	I don't know.
	I'm a jailhouse lawyer, and he has nine years of litigation experience.
	And he may, look, this is, I don't know how to handle this, but that's why.
	I mean, I literally was just seeing the documentary about him.
	And here is this.
	And it's funny because during the documentary, I think you can relate some with this fearl child, this young man who something was uncomfortable or wrong in his upbringing.
	You know, something was off.
	And he appears very like kind of manic a lot.
	And, you know, also there's a lot of transient people.
	That's some of the energy that's out there.
	But a good-hearted dude, you know, kind of dude that would just, you know, give you this skirt off his back, you know, or whatever.
	And that's good.
	And I, you know, you kind of love the guy, you know.
	But just an amazing, interesting story.
	And then got this, this court summons.
	And this all appears very real.
	So I'm going to have to talk with an attorney.
	I got a buddy over there at Morgan and Morgan.
	I'll hit him up and see him.
	Maybe on the next solo episode, we can actually address that and I can get some more information.
	So what else?
	I've been talking to a gal and that was good.
	It was cool.
	And then she didn't really want to, I think she, I wasn't her thing, kind of.
	So that was, you know, that's been interesting.
	I don't know if it's been interesting.
	I don't know if that's a word.
	You know, it was like, I don't know, it's interesting when you're trying to date or whatever, and then you kind of put yourself out there.
	You say to someone, hey, I'm, it's like the hokey poke.
	You put your right foot in, you know, and they, then they, and they put their right foot in.
	So now y'all are a couple of right foot.
	Y'all are a couple of just right foot.
	You guys are right, right there.
	And then you're like, that left foot, it wants to go in.
	You're like, let's go.
	Let's get in.
	Let's do it.
	And then you, and somebody's got to put that left foot in first usually.
	And I put that bitch in, dog.
	And then it was just both of my feet and just one of her feet was in there.
	And I'm like, and she don't want that.
	She don't want that two-footed bad boy.
	She don't want that dose Zapatos animal.
	You know what I'm saying?
	And she took her foot out.
	And then you're just standing there by yourself.
	You know, you're on your own two feet.
	So that's good.
	But, and you're in a new place.
	You're in like a little bit of a braver place because you went there a little.
	But yeah, I think that shit, you know, I think it's always been tough for me to tell somebody if I tell somebody I like them.
	That's always been tough for me.
	You know, I don't want to tell you that.
	I don't want to.
	It just, man, there's a part inside of me.
	It's not even me.
	It's something deep inside of me that feels very scared to say, Very scared to say, I like you.
	I think it's to a woman.
	You know, very scared to say, okay, I'm going to do this.
	Uh, so.
	So I don't have a lot of self-pity about it.
	I'm not trying to whine about it.
	I'm just trying to share what's going on in my life and things that are just things that are just normal.
	But yeah, there's something I talked about it a little bit on the Louie episode.
	And if you didn't get to listen to that, it was awesome, man.
	It was really awesome.
	And I talked a little bit about it on there.
	I think we had a voicemail coming about it.
	Let me see if I can find this voicemail.
	Theo, man, it's Cam down here in North Carolina.
	What's up, Cam?
	Thank you for calling, brother.
	I appreciate you calling.
	Cam, that's a good name, baby.
	Cam.
	Could be short for Camera.
	Camomile.
	You know, this is our son, Camomile.
	Yeah.
	Soak him in hot water.
	Oh, see what happens.
	Or cam, the past tense of came, I guess.
	You know, somebody, oh, damn, somebody ran up and just cammed on him, you know, and took off.
	You know, or last week he got he cam.
	Somebody cammed on him at the house and just ruined supper, you know.
	Anyway, onward.
	I just got done listening to you and Louis C.K. And I just want to congratulate you, man, for the compliment he gave you on your comedy.
	I can just imagine how good that felt from your point of view.
	And I was so happy for you hearing him speak the truth on your talent, but also I know he's got to be a hero for you.
	And that must have been a magical moment for you.
	I was so happy.
	It kind of brought a tear to my eye.
	Well, thank you, man.
	I appreciate you all.
	Yeah.
	Thank you for the consideration and for calling about that.
	You know, it's interesting.
	I texted him a few days after because there was one thing he said in a video.
	There was a lot of stuff he said.
	And in a weird way, I wish I'd tried to, you know, he said some things, like he said one thing.
	He said, you can't be a pedophile if you're a child.
	Which was interesting.
	Like, and I'd never realized that in my life, I needed to, I, when I was young, there's funny, you know, I don't want to say funny, but there's things that happen with kids where you, you know, people see each other's wieners or booties or whatever.
	You're, you know, you people, you know, you're humping your pillows.
	And, you know, like Louis was talking about telling juicers, him and his buddy at like summer camp.
	And there's things that happen, you know, where, you know, I had some moments when I was a kid when I would just hug my sister so hard like she was a doll.
	And I, I think I felt a lot of shame about that.
	And I'd never had a man, I'd never had a man say, hey, you're not, this is, none of this makes you a bad person.
	I'd never had any that ever happen in my life.
	So it was interesting that even just sitting there talking with him, when he said that, it kind of, it's, I needed that.
	I needed in my life to hear a man who, you know, who's older than me.
	I don't know how old Louis is, but I think he's, he could be my dad if he had had me at a young age.
	And I needed, or I just needed to hear someone I had looked up to in certain aspects.
	You know, I don't know all the aspects of his life, but if someone that I had some admiration for, I needed to hear them say something like that.
	And I just didn't realize it.
	And sometimes you don't know where those pieces of life hit you at.
	You don't know who has anybody could be, could say something that you needed your father to say or you needed your mother to say.
	So that was interesting.
	And I texted him and I said, hey, you know, I just wanted to say thanks.
	There was this thing you said that I had needed to hear in most of my life and I had never heard it because I'd had a lot of shame about things, even just about, you know, I think you have shame about masturbating and, you know, spraying out and everything.
	And, you know, and my dad had just had we, you know, he didn't engage with me about any of that or talk about it, you know.
	He had me bury damn half of a Smurf's bed sheet in the yard.
	And it was just always very uncomfortable.
	So to even have little moments like that.
	But I think I just found some connection in that call with him, just hearing a voice that's knowledgeable, but not, he wasn't judgmental.
	Obviously, he's been through all the nooks and crannies of, you know, sexual discussion and thought, probably in his own head.
	And so, yeah, just to have like an adult say that don't, you know, that you can't be, you're not bad for, it was, I don't know, it was kind of blanket, but it just hit me and I needed to hear that.
	And I never knew I did.
	So anyway, there were moments like that.
	Anyway, sorry to interrupt your call so much.
	Let's go onward.
	And the reason for that is just because you put yourself out here and you make yourself vulnerable.
	And there's a lot of us out here that really benefit from that, man.
	And I know when I'm going through some shit, I can tune in and listen to you.
	And, you know, I feel better.
	But I appreciate you.
	And just keep doing your thing, man.
	Gang, baby.
	Thanks, Cam.
	I appreciate that call, man.
	Yeah, there was some moments with Louie where I just felt, yeah.
	Yeah, you know, I don't know what else to do except be myself sometimes.
	I know it might sound crazy, but I don't know.
	There's so much inside of myself that wants to get out of me.
	And there's things I want to say that I don't even know what they are.
	There's things that are inside of me.
	I think there's conversations I never got to fucking have as a kid.
	I think there's a lot of shit just inside of me that's like, you know, and I know people say, hey, don't, you know, don't think about the past.
	I'm not thinking about it.
	But that shit lives in me, dog.
	You know, and I think there's a lot of like, I don't know, you know, I'm a late bloomer, man.
	I know I am.
	And that's okay.
	You know, if you go through a toll childhood of not getting to have interaction or to talk or have any idea what your feelings are or help somebody mold what feeling even is and you're just surviving in the fucking world and then at some point you start to quit trying to survive then you you still have a whole I still have a whole
	I still have a whole rollodecks of shit that I didn't get to get right or I never got to even get wrong Yeah, I don't know, man.
	Some of that shit makes me fucking, you know, and some of it still makes me angry sometimes.
	There's a lot of, I mean, I got so much, I got a lot of anger in me sometimes.
	And people say, forgive, and forget.
	I get that.
	I'm in a program doing all that shit.
	But just because you say you forgive doesn't mean that something just disappears.
	You know?
	Because some of this shit, man, it fucking lives in me.
	You know?
	Sometimes there's still a kid inside of me that's so fucking angry, bruh.
	You know, and it's my job as an adult just to not to let him drive the boat, you know?
	Anyway, I'm not trying to get into self-pity, but there was just a lot during that conversation.
	You know, it's like I'm still collecting conversations that should have happened when I was a kid.
	And I'm out here, you know, trying to collect them as an adult.
	And not even collect them.
	I'm trying to, I just don't know where they're going to happen.
	And sometimes I don't know that they are going to happen.
	It's just when things, you could do, you know?
	So I'm just grateful that God lets me be alive and that gives me an opportunity to have some experiences.
	But thank you for the call, dude.
	I was excited.
	I felt like we had a good connection.
	I didn't know.
	I was scared.
	I've seen Louie one time in the hall of the comedy store when he was very famous in mainstream media.
	And, you know, he seemed very standoffish.
	He seemed like a fancy guy.
	But I also didn't know him.
	But he didn't seem like approachable or anything.
	But I felt excited to get invited to his show.
	I hadn't gone to a comedy show in.
	I'd been like the first comedy show I'd ever been to.
	And then I'd been to, I went to see Bob Newhart one time in Chicago.
	And then I saw Louie of actual show where I went and went and just sat in the audience and watched.
	I've seen a ton of sets at the comedy store and that.
	But anyway, this is getting a little bit long here.
	So, all right, let's get into a little bit of news here, and then we'll go on to the, I'll tell you about the fashion show.
	What happened here in the news?
	We got Alabama woman who joined ISIS once back in the U.S. Nope.
	Bye, bitch.
	That's what I'm saying.
	A woman who left Alabama, joined the Islamic State in 2014 now says she regrets her action and is hoping to return to the United States.
	If I need to sit in prison and do my time, I will do it.
	I won't fight against it.
	Oh, now that's interesting.
	That could be fair.
	But I don't know.
	You know, it gets to a point where as a country, you make so many bends of whatever your original rules are that you're not a country anymore.
	You know, if you have like at the pool rules, say you have the pool rules, and these are the rules.
	You can't swim during this hours.
	You can't no swimming 30 minutes after sandwiches or dining.
	No diarrhea.
	No pissing in the pool or whatever.
	Dookieing.
	So you have those rules, but then you start breaking all the rules.
	I'm going to change this rule, change this rule, change this rule.
	And then you have somebody that comes up and this lady, whatever, just sprayed tit milk on the rules and went off to another country to join a group that was against your original country.
	I say bye.
	I say bye, man, because you changed it.
	Then there's no more rules.
	Then this pool doesn't exist.
	Now you got people eating out of the pool, making soup.
	You got one dude diarrhea down here by the ladder.
	The ducks have fecal alcohol syndrome from the duties at the other end.
	And then somebody's selling duck.
	You got a Chinese dude selling duck meat on the side of the pool.
	You know, you got some fella over there just huffing down duck empanadas and he gets infected because of the guy by the ladder.
	It just, the whole thing, but it's all because the rules keep getting adjusted.
	So I say, no, you left.
	You said, fuck this place.
	Then that you made your, go pick another place then.
	If ISIS didn't work out, you didn't cut it in ISIS.
	All right, go play hoops in Russia, boo.
	And some of my reasoning behind with the rules is because at a certain point, the people that care about, that like going to the pool in the beginning, they're not going to want to be at the pool anymore.
	They're going to, they're not going to, nobody's going to want to be at the pool.
	So now you made all these adjustments about the pool and you don't have a pool anymore.
	Now you got a duck soup diarrhea farm.
	That's what you got.
	And the people that originally cared about the pool that made it the pool, they're not going to care anymore.
	They're going to find some other place.
	They're going to get into private areas and have their own pool.
	They're going to figure it out.
	So I don't know.
	I just liked it better when, and maybe it's just me, and this is just my perspective, but when it felt like we all, we all had the same pool in mind.
	What else?
	Parents in shock as gorillas mate in front Of kids at zoo.
	A pair of gorillas at a zoo left parents shocked as they decided to start doing it like they do on the Discovery Channel right in front of the kids.
	When you take the kids to the zoo to see all the wonders of the animal kingdom, you've always got to understand there's a risk that all creatures, great and small, will be up to some naughty antics.
	I love this.
	Hell, I think the zoo could charge more for animal sex hours, honestly.
	If you come at 2 p.m., that's when everybody's fucking.
	You know what I'm saying, bruh?
	Because you go to some of these cages.
	Now you go to the lion cage.
	He's in there.
	He's always sleeping or he's laid out or he's on, looks like he's on a couple zannies, you know.
	They always got a kickball next to him.
	Who's ever seen a lion play kickball?
	What fucking lion gets up and he's like, then you see another lion run up and just, and the other lions are like, kick it, kick it.
	It's, there's no fuck.
	What do they do?
	They're not doing anything.
	And then, and there's always like a tightrope in the cage going from like one tree to another.
	Like the line, like the lion's just going to like, oh, just like walk on the like, oh, I'm a, I'm a rope lion.
	I'm a tightrope lion.
	Fuck, what the fuck?
	They don't do shit, man.
	I'm sick of paying entry fees to see animals not do shit.
	They don't do shit.
	These animals don't do shit.
	They just lay there like rich animals.
	That's all they are.
	Because we took them out of the wild.
	The wild is where God is out there setting it off.
	And Mother Nature's out there fucking twerking.
	And people are eating BBQ and getting gunned down.
	But we take them out of the natural environment.
	We put them in this rich ass fucking maximum or minimum security prison.
	And they're living large.
	They're kickballing.
	They're eating lamb.
	I saw one video, they're feeding lamb to lambs.
	I'm sick of these rich ass animals.
	That's all this is, man.
	Have you ever lived in a shitty neighborhood and then moved to a better neighborhood?
	Have you ever moved from Memphis to Nashville?
	Okay, that's what's happening with these animals.
	And people are like, well, we got to set the animals free.
	No, what?
	If we set the animals free, every penguin will be at Albertson's in the frozen food section.
	You'll have every penguin in there fucking just beating open a thing of fish sticks.
	Every leopard will kill every missing pet in your area.
	There will be zero missing animals.
	You can't free these animals, man.
	Because they'll be right back in nature.
	They'll be right back in the wild.
	And the wild is gangster.
	That's the UFC for animals, man.
	These animals, they have it good in the zoo.
	They got it really, really good.
	So I say we either put them to work or tell them to take a four-legged hike.
	I want to go to the zoo and they got, I want to go during, they should have animal sex hours in the afternoon, 2 to 3 p.m., everybody fucking.
	All right, $40 to get in.
	That zoo would be packed.
	That zoo would be, even the French would be there like, but we got to get these animals to work.
	These zoos, they're not making any money.
	Nobody's going to see the, you could watch a nature channel.
	They fight immediately.
	The Dana White should do the nature channel.
	These bitches fight immediately on the nature channel.
	So these animals, I think they either need to step it up or get the.
	That's what I'm saying.
	I want to go to the zoo.
	I want to see, you know, I want to see.
	I want to see the ant.
	I want to see these apes fist fighting.
	I want to see the rats making soup like they do in the movie.
	I want to see penguins miming.
	Why aren't penguins miming?
	You got the colors.
	Do the fucking work, boys.
	But zoos could easily step it up.
	2 p.m., all the animals fuck.
	That's easy.
	2 p.m., all the animals fuck.
	$40 to get in.
	Bring a rain slicker.
	Boom.
	Now we're talking business, baby.
	But I think if you go to the zoo and see some animals fuck, lucky you.
	All right?
	Just make sure that you have a conversation with your son or daughter afterwards to explain what happened and that they shouldn't feel ashamed for watching it.
	Thank you.
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	Let's move on.
	What else do we have?
	A couple calls that came in.
	This episode's getting long.
	That's okay.
	Went to France.
	Let me have a sip of my Celsius, man.
	I went to France.
	So this thing came out of nowhere, right?
	Get invited to go to France.
	And you know, I don't like the French.
	You know it.
	If you had to pick six things I don't like, the French would be four of them.
	And so I got invited.
	They were doing a comedy fashion show, this fella Kid Super.
	And at first they said Kid Super.
	I thought it was one of, you know, like a make-a-wish fella.
	You know, you sometimes get those, you know, they got that 40-year-old in a cape or something, and he's, you know, he wants to jump out of a window or whatever, and they won't let him because he's, you know, does he never, because he's, you know, he's mentally, he's really, you know, because the devil tickled him whenever he was being made or whatever, and he's not well.
	But it wasn't.
	It was a, it was a fashion show put on by this fella, Colm Delane.
	Make sure I get his name correctly.
	Colm Delane.
	Yes.
	And a real beautiful fella, man, a really kind, smart, neat guy.
	And I'd had a friend, Aaron Levie, that was a part of the John Elliott clothing brand.
	So I'd been around some clothing, fashion, high fashion.
	And I don't know much about fashion.
	You know that.
	I mean, look at me.
	There you go.
	And you know I don't.
	And, you know, I got three pairs of pants.
	I wear one of them all the time.
	This is it.
	These little camo deals are paper thin, but they're nice from North Face, and I like them.
	But anyway, we get invited to this thing.
	And they said it's going to be, I mean, you're wearing, I mean, some of the linen, this is just damn fresh silk.
	I mean, you could smell a spider's asshole on it.
	You know, this shit is hot.
	Hot off the eight arms, baby.
	You know what I'm saying?
	This shit is fresh.
	And so, yeah, we go.
	First of all, we get to the airport and they're taking us on a jet.
	I mean, this thing, Puma put us on a jet.
	And it's, I mean, this thing was long.
	This thing had two bathrooms in it.
	And I pissed in both of them because, you know, that, boy, if there's, I'll piss in it.
	You know what I'm saying?
	I'm pissing at each end of the yard, baby.
	And I'll let the devil do the laundry, baby.
	You know what I'm saying?
	I'm pissing when I get in something.
	That's always who I've been.
	You know, as a child, at night before I go to bed, I'd piss off each side of my bed and I'd piss around it.
	I'd stand on my bed and urinate around it.
	Just to keep, you know, whatever bad stuff could come get me to keep it away.
	But anyway, so we went there.
	Who was there?
	Andrew Santino, Mateo Lane, other comedians.
	Stavros Halkias, Fari, and he's a French comedian.
	Who else?
	Jeff Ross, a couple other comedians.
	Yeah, anyway, so we went out on the stage and we had to walk in a fashion and we had to do the, you know, and do some material on stage.
	So that was part of it.
	And it was just wild, you know, like there's, I mean, if, you know, I, this was the most nervous that I'd been to do comedy in a long time because for one, people are coming to judge, they judge clothing.
	I mean, this is like fancy people.
	This is like the fanciest people.
	Everybody has a blog.
	Everybody has a webpage.
	Everybody has a lawyer.
	It's people like that.
	You know, and so you get, it's like, I knew these people were going to be, or judgemental about clothes anyway.
	They're going to, they're, they're here to judge clothing all week.
	So if you throw in an outlier like a comedian who's coming in, who's not even part of their world, we're the easiest thing for them to hate on.
	Oh, I can hate on this guy.
	Oh, easy, done.
	Comedian, done.
	So I was like, oh, these MFers, man.
	And it was rich people, bro.
	And I don't like the rich, man.
	I've said it and you know it.
	And people say, well, man, you make money.
	And yeah, I do.
	But I'll never be rich.
	I'll never be fucking infected with that shit.
	That shit starts in your heart, son.
	So I'll never, I won't be like that.
	And I know because when I get around rich people, I don't like them.
	And I just felt that in there.
	Just that age-old energy, man.
	You know, because they had a rich doctor when I was young, they had a rich veterinarian, right?
	And he would drive through our neighborhood.
	Sometimes people would cut through from the highway there, and then they had another highway.
	And in between the two highways was our neighborhood.
	And off of that, people would cut through our neighborhood and drive off to one of the, down one of the highways and be nice neighborhoods.
	And they had this veterinarian, and he would throw animals, dead animals out in our ditch and shit when they drove by.
	You know?
	And so that shit always stuck with me, man.
	You know, like, oh, this is just a place where they, that's what they think of this.
	That's what they think of us.
	This is just a place where we put dead animals.
	And you could damn use Clorox.
	You'll never get that shit out of my system.
	But anyway, and I know this is a judgmental place.
	People are judging fashion.
	People are here to be judged.
	So I know the easiest thing for some blogger, which is basically just a job where you are afraid to fucking fight.
	The easiest job for a blogger is to say, to point fingers at the outlier that comes in to say this is bad.
	Right.
	Instead of, you know, saying this is good from all the, you know, bribes or whatever they get, I don't know, or whatever their end goal is.
	But anyway, they say this bad.
	So I just knew going up against it was going to be tough, and it turned out it was okay.
	And we did well.
	And yeah, the kids' super clothing, you know, it's nice, neat stuff.
	And Colm, the guy who runs it, was very neat.
	Andrew Schultz was there.
	That was fun to get to spend time with him.
	It was great, man.
	That was exciting.
	I went for a walk.
	I didn't try to do too much in France because I wasn't there long.
	And you get out in the streets and it's, you know, it's French.
	People are French and, you know, just fucking Frenching around, dog.
	But we got to go out at night.
	We went and they had nice music at night and just the whole experience was fancy.
	And it actually ended up being a good experience.
	Sometimes I carry old ideas into things.
	And so I got to kind of monitor that.
	But my nerves are warnings for me.
	And they say, hey, this is what's up.
	Beware of this.
	And I'm glad that they're there.
	Those are instincts, too.
	Sometimes it's not nerves.
	It's instincts.
	And you got to really ask them, are you a nerve?
	Are you an instinct?
	Tell me.
	And you got to figure it out.
	Okay, let's get into a call or two.
	Here we go.
	Some of that came from you guys.
	Here we go.
	Hi, Theo.
	This is Faye from Salt Lake City.
	Hello, Faye from Salt Lake, baby.
	And I like salt.
	Onward.
	I just wanted to say that I love this show.
	And it's had more of an impact than you would probably think because it is, oddly enough, the only thing that calms down my 78-year-old grandma with dementia.
	If you don't know, dementia is when the Lord starts deleting all the files in your brain.
	Yeah, I'm like her main caregiver.
	Oh, yeah.
	That's a spyware, baby.
	The devil's spyware, baby.
	Onward.
	Yeah, I'm like her main caregiver.
	Outside of my grandpa, so three days a week, she's over here, and she gets real restless without him.
	One day my fiancé had the idea to just throw on this past weekend, put it on the TV, cast it from YouTube to the TV, and it was like magic.
	And now, like, the whole family knows to do it when she's getting nervous.
	Oh.
	Well, that's sweet.
	That's really sweet.
	I think it's sweet that you spend time with your grandmother.
	I'm sorry that parts of her just kind of eroding back into the universe, you know.
	That's a lot.
	You know, I'm amazed how much care you have in you.
	That's pretty fascinating.
	And I'm grateful that somehow maybe I'm able to be a part of spending time with her.
	You know, my dad was 76 when he passed, and it's nice.
	Now I get to spend time with a 78-year-old.
	That's nice.
	You know, that's nice.
	There's all these little ways that we get our loose ends kind of tied, you know.
	So many unexpected ways.
	Let me hear more.
	Just that first order of business is throw on Theo.
	Give her some ice cream and throw on Theo.
	Now, I see what now.
	I think she might have y'all.
	I think a lot of this is about the ice cream.
	And that's how it look.
	So a lot of people will fake dementia to get ice cream.
	And who can blame them, homie?
	To be honest, I'd go live in a senior center right now.
	I think the age you got to be is 55 or 59, right?
	A lot of them.
	In Arkansas, I think it's, I want to say 54. But in a heartbeat, I would go live in.
	You get games every day with other people, right?
	You could play board games at 4. 445, bro.
	Y'all fucking eating, bitch.
	I'd go live in a senior center right now.
	You know how much work and enjoyable things you would get done?
	Play the piano.
	Talk to somebody about a war.
	I mean, God, you know?
	Put up a wanted poster of Bobby Lee outside of your door.
	VFW meeting tonight in the game room.
	You know what I'm talking about.
	And it's crazy.
	She thinks that you're here in the living room with her, talking to her, and she just, she thinks she's talking to you, basically.
	She thinks she's a guest.
	But yeah, I'm a fan.
	Grandma's a fan.
	Whole family, really.
	Well, man, I'm honored to have her on every single week.
	Maybe it'd be interesting to have her on.
	I don't know.
	I'm going to have my producer reach out.
	I mean, you know, it may be a lot to put somebody with that on, but there could be some fascination to it.
	But I'm happy to have her.
	I'm happy that she is a guest every week.
	And I'm happy to be a little part of y'all's lives and for sharing that she's a part of mine.
	That's awesome, dude.
	That's so cool.
	Thank you.
	And give her a hug for me if you're allowed to touch her.
	I don't know if people like being touched or not, if they are demented or whatever.
	All right.
	Let's get one more call here that came in.
	Let's go.
	ACO, this is John from Minneapolis, Minnesota.
	What's up, John from Minneapolis?
	And sorry about what happened to your Vikings, but y'all beat the Saints a while back on that Minnesota miracle.
	So that's life, bruh.
	I've been listening to your podcast now for about a year, and over the course of this year, I've just been uplifted so much.
	I worked for my sister almost every single day.
	He's a researcher in business and was recently diagnosed with stage four-pression cancer.
	So me and my sister has been having to successfully take over for him.
	And it's just been a really tough time for my family to anyways.
	I know you asked your father.
	I'm young myself, not as young as you were, but I'm only 21. And I'm just hoping you might have some advice for me on how to move forward to this time of life.
	I'm just finding it real hard.
	You know, I talked about this a little bit on the Louis episode where, you know, my dad had a girlfriend in his later years, and we went over to her.
	I was over at her house one night, and she had a nice house, man.
	And it looked like a big apart, like a condo.
	And I'd never been in a condo before, and it had like big windows.
	She made these roast beef sandwiches, and the roast beef was like in a pot, and it had like sauce with it.
	And I'd never seen anything like it.
	You know, I just felt like I just felt like the meat itself had just drowned itself and done it on purpose for me.
	It just was that good, you know.
	And I remember being over there one night and my dad had gotten, I didn't know that my dad was sick, right?
	And in the middle of the night, we would sleep out on the couch at her place because they didn't have, because my dad was sleeping in the extra, she had an extra room, my dad would sleep in there, and then we slept on the couch, but the couch was nice, boy.
	And my dad had got up in the middle of the night and he was going down the hall towards her room.
	And I was awake.
	And I was like, what is he doing?
	Is he, you know, is my dad sexually active?
	I didn't know.
	You know, I didn't know what they were doing.
	You know, I knew it could, I just didn't know.
	And so I kind of went over there, you know, because I'm a pervert.
	And I went and I saw that my dad had like, he had like diarrhea himself.
	And he was going to ask her, he was asking her for help, you know, and yeah, it just, and like six weeks after that, he, he, he passed away.
	I mean, that was when I first found out that he was sick.
	And yeah, I think it was just such a moment of like, okay, here's, is this guy's, what is, is there sex going here?
	And then it's scary.
	It was just a lot of stuff, you know.
	So, yeah, I can't, you know, I don't know what's going on in your world.
	And so I didn't mean to make that about me.
	It just, that made me think about that.
	And I just talked about it on that Louis episode a little bit.
	But just that it was just scary.
	You know, and I remember being scared.
	And, you know, it's so neat that your dad has a business that you and your brother are working in.
	That's so cool.
	That's a piece of him.
	You know.
	That's a piece of him.
	That's things that we miss in the world is when our dads would do something and then the sons would carry it on.
	And it wasn't like, you know, before everything got all globalized and we sold out a lot of our values for the benefit of few,
	you know, and sorry, that was a little political there, but it was when they, you know, more mom and pop operations, because with mom and pop come children, and then the children become the mom and pop.
	And then there's something you've created that carries on through you, you know.
	But it's beautiful that you guys have that, you know.
	And sometimes if I want to think about my dad or feel what he feels like, you know, I'll I'll put my hand like on my heart because my heartbeat came from my dad, you know, and my mom.
	And so I'm a remix of my parents.
	And when I miss my dad, you know, this is the sound that he made.
	It's a sound that he made that was in him.
	Part of the sound that's inside of me, the beat that comes in me, that stays alive was in my father.
	And the only place it is now, it's in me, you know.
	It's in my siblings too, but part of it is in me.
	And that's his sound.
	That is his sound.
	And that gives me some solace sometimes.
	It gives me some solace sometimes.
	But I'm sorry you guys are doing that.
	I'm blessed.
	It's a blessing you have a brother there to go through it with you.
	And you're able, you have a relationship with your father.
	It sounds like you're going to be able to deal with some of this and process it.
	And I would get some recordings with your dad if he is still alive.
	I couldn't tell from the call and spend some time with him as much as you can and get some of that video and audio recorded to always have that.
	You know, I have a few pictures from my dad.
	And, you know, his other family took everything else.
	And, yes, I'm kind of resentful about that shit.
	But anyway, I'm sorry you're going through that, man.
	Thanks for sharing.
	And keep sharing it with people because other people are going to have little things that will help you.
	And that's what I got, man.
	What else?
	Yeah, I didn't mean to finish up on a downer there.
	I loved watching Brandon Moreno fight.
	I'm so happy for him, baby.
	That was amazing.
	I can't believe I got to go to France.
	What the heck, man?
	I'm excited this week.
	We'll be in Louisville and Indianapolis.
	Some new shows are on sale.
	And yeah, just thank you guys for being a part of my life.
	And, you know, just try and be good to yourselves, you know?
	That's the same thing I'm going to do.
	I haven't had anything to eat today except for this caffeine and some antidepressants.
	So I'm going to go meet my friend Tim and eat.
	And yeah.
	You know, we just don't know where the possibility is going to come from.
	You know, and if I shut myself all the way off, then I might not, I might miss it.
	And there's still a part of me that wants to shut myself all the way off.
	Isn't that crazy?
	I want to close it down.
	I'm not talking about take my life right now.
	I'm just saying, you know, I want to make myself unavailable.
	But then we might miss out.
	You know?
	And so you step back in, you put the right foot in, and then you put the left foot in.
	And somebody great, something, whatever, something is going to come and meet you there.
	You know?
	And actually, you know what?
	I'm going to change it up.
	We're going to go out like we sometimes do, man.
	I love you guys.
	Thank you for being a part of my life this week.
	If you're struggling with something, you just got to make it through today.
	You don't have to make it through a million years.
	You don't have to make it through 40 years.
	You don't have to make it through 10 years.
	You have to make it through today.
	You know?
	And you got this shit, baby.
	Gang, baby.
	We got this shit, baby.
	I I'm just sitting on your front porch wondering how could I be so far from my home.
	And my mind is somewhere else.
	But when I find it, I'll patch up where it's been blown.
	Now I'm just floating on the breeze.
	And I feel I'm falling alive.
	Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite, and welcome to Kite Club, a podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events, stand-up stories, and seven ways to pleasure your partner.
	The answer may shock you.
	Sometimes I'll interview my friends.
	Sometimes I won't.
	And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head.
	You have three new voice messages.
	A lot of people are talking about Kite Club.
	I've been talking about Kite Club for so long, longer than anybody else.
	So great.
	Hi, Sui.
	Easy deal.
	Anyone who doesn't listen to Kite Club is a dodgy bloody wanker.
	Jamain.
	Hai.
	I'll take a quarter powder with cheese and a McFlurry.
	Sorry, sir, but our ice cream machine is broken.
	I think Tom Hanks just butt-dialed me.
	Anyway, first rule of Kite Club is tell everyone about Kite Club.
	Second rule of Kite Club is tell everyone about Kite Club.
	Third rule.
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