Nov. 20, 2010 - The Political Cesspool - James Edwards
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Welcome to the Political Cesspool, known worldwide as the South's foremost populous radio program.
And here to guide you through the murky waters of the Political Cesspool is your host, James Edwards.
All right, everybody, third and final hour.
It's once again that magical time.
Third time's the charm.
Although, I don't think we can get any better this.
Well, yeah, we can.
We got Winston.
Winston Smith's here the third hour.
So, of course, it's going to be better.
But it has been, as promised, a very busy show tonight.
Welcome back to the Political Cesspool.
I'm James Edwards coming to you from AM 1380, WLRM Radio, Memphis, Tennessee, our Posh Studios, as you've now been able to see on our website.
Also, going out to the AMFM affiliate stations of the Liberty News Radio Network across the country and around the world, simulcasting online, thepolitical cesspool.org.
Just to recap, if you're tuning in now, first of all, if you're tuning in now, you're late.
Where have you been for the last two hours?
But it's been a big show.
Talked about the big week, lots of traffic at our website.
Talked about the video we put up.
I just made mention of it.
It's a behind-the-scenes footage that you can see for yourself.
And since then, we've covered, let's see here, gathering my notes.
I'm glad you're not seeing the studio now because it's a little bit disheveled.
Sears is dreaming of a brown Christmas.
Sarah Palin thinks you're a Neanderthal.
Tests are racist.
Jacqueline Pogue, we told you about her.
California is not bankrupt enough.
A black cop calls another black cop in Texas and Uncle Tom for helping a white cop.
We talked about transracial adoption.
The 16-month-old transgendered baby that they're touting.
Trace Adkins is a Confederate.
So one good story and about 10 bad ones.
It's been a busy night.
Winston, have you been listening all night?
I know you're just punching the clock here, but have you been listening?
You know, I did not get to listen to it.
I usually listen to the shows on the archives for the first, I usually listen to the first couple hours on the archives because I'm usually out of my woodshop during the first couple hours.
You know, before you drive into the studio each Saturday night that you're on, you're kind of like a boxer.
You know, you can't be disturbed.
You're in your woodshop with the robe on and your gloves, and you're just kind of sitting there, the guys, you know, your trainer's giving you a massage saying, like, all right, Winston, you know, be thinking about your vocabulary.
Come on, baby.
Get pumped.
You got to go in.
You know, you really can't be disturbed by the show itself on a show night because that's the kind of focus you bring to the program.
Well, I do confess that when I am out of my shop, I do have my notepad and my pen there with me, and I do write down things that I want to bring up on each broadcast to which I am privileged to share with you.
But, you know, folks, it does take some preparation to put these shows together.
It's not just a, you don't just show up and start talking.
It does take us some time.
We spend time during the week researching news articles and we call our contacts.
And, well, this past week, I was in San Diego for my job.
And even then, I was doing show prep and did not know it the day that I returned from San Diego.
I had a very interesting experience.
Before we get to that, before we get to that, because that's a whole segment in itself.
And I told people, see, if you were listening right before you came to the studio tonight, you would have heard this.
But I told people you were delayed coming back from San Diego to Memphis.
You overshopped Memphis, landed in Charlotte, got held up in Charlotte and missed the show entirely last week.
So we're going to talk about that.
But first, I've got to shift gears back to one thing because if we don't work it in now, we're not going to be able to work it in at all.
But you know how famous we are, right, Winston, and how dashing.
And we get a lot of correspondence.
We get a lot of emails.
We get a lot of letters.
And we're not able to always, of course, share all of them with the entire audience on the radio.
But when you get one like this, this is something that, Winston, you just got to read.
I actually got it during the middle of the second hour from a young lady who posts quite a bit, posts a lot of comments to our blog entries.
But I saved it for you, my brother.
I saved it for you so we could make this decision together on behalf of the rest of the staff.
You snooze, you lose.
Bill Rowland, Eddie the Bombetter Miller have the night off.
Keith works the first hour with me each Saturday.
So me and you, Winston, we're going to make this decision for the rest of the staff here, and then they'll just have to go by what we say.
How's that sound to you?
It sounds very interesting.
I'm all a Twitter.
All right, here's the email.
It says, hi, James.
Here's something that I'd like for you to read on your show.
If I don't get in trouble from your wives.
Unlike Sarah Palin, I'm a Southern Belle who thinks white men deserve a great deal of admiration instead of getting degraded and called Neanderthals.
Having said this, I like to make men happy.
Tell me what kind of Christmas cookies or candy you would like me to make, you or your staff, and I will send them to your studios for you to eat during your last show before Christmas.
I would like to make you a pie, but that probably wouldn't last.
Tell me what Christmas treats you would like me to make, and if it'll last a few days in the mail, I will make it and I will send it.
Enjoying the show as usual, have a great Thanksgiving.
And that comes from Courtney in Alabama.
And, you know, that's interesting.
That's interesting because she reminds me in sending that email that it's still about a month away, but Saturday, Christmas is on a Saturday this year.
So we're not going to, we'll probably have a tape show that night.
I don't know who's going to be listening on Christmas night to the political cesspool or if our families would let us go out on Christmas night to work.
So Christmas night is Saturday, December 25th.
So probably going to be doing a tape show that night.
So the night that we'll be able to eat these candies and treats, Winston, is going to be Saturday, December 18th.
So first of all, what do you say to Courtney for an offer like that?
You know, I think I've talked with Courtney.
I think I've talked with her on the air.
And Courtney, if I have, please email me and let me know if I'm remembering correctly.
But I think you and I have talked before on the air.
But that's just, James, that is just indicative of the kind of ladies who listen to our show.
They are indeed true Southern Best.
They appreciate men like us who have no problem with speaking our minds and treating a lady the way a lady likes to be treated.
I appreciate it.
And so I tell you, I'm a traditionalist in such things.
I prefer just the classic sugar cookies or peanut butter cookies or chocolate chip.
And anything beyond that is superfluous to me.
But you're the guy at the helm of the CSS cesspool.
So what do you say?
Well, you know, I don't know.
I don't know if she's only offering to make us one treat or if we can get like, you know, a cornucopia like you see for Thanksgiving.
So maybe, I'll tell you, I've got the metabolism of a shrew and the worst diet imaginable.
David Duke came over to the house.
We went swimming here.
It was right before I closed up the pool.
I guess it was earlier this fall.
And we were talking about diets and exercise resume.
I was like, well, I've never eaten a vegetable and I've never worked out.
But my God, I look pretty good having not done any of that.
But, you know, so one thing I am an expert on is sweets and treats.
And if you've ever been to the Great American Cookie at the Wolf Chase Mall, Winston, here in Memphis, you know, I could put them out of business.
I would eat them out of stock.
And I tell you, I'm going to think about this during the break, and then I'm going to answer Courtney's question with what my favorite Christmas treats are.
And then we're going to get back down to business here in the Cesspool.
So stay tuned, everybody.
Still more fun to be had.
There's more Political Cesspool coming your way right after these messages.
Welcome back to Get On The Political Cesspool.
Call us on James's Dime, toll-free, at 1-866-986-6397.
And here's the host of the Political Cesspool, James Edwards.
All right, ladies and gentlemen, we just had a showstopper here.
We've just had a showstopper.
I'm going to forget everything that's on the agenda for this hour until we get something addressed here.
This, Winston, just goes to show the cultural differences between borders.
Here in the Political Cesspool, we broadcast from Memphis, Tennessee, in the heart of the Mid-South.
And we like a lot of stuff, but we really like fried food, don't we, Winston?
Oh, yes.
You have to eat catfish, shrimp, deep fried.
Look.
That's the way to go.
There's nothing you can't fry in the South.
We even fry Twinkies.
Have you gone to the carnival and you got a fried Twinkie?
Okay.
Anything that you can eat, we fry it here in the South.
And so, you know, I'm talking with our producer.
See, Liberty News Radio is based in Utah.
That's the network that syndicates our show to the different markets across the country.
So when we're doing the show live here from the studio in Memphis, we're also connected to the studio in Utah, and together it works to get the show out.
But I'm talking to our producer in Utah during the break, and he's eating a bologna sandwich.
I said, you're talking about a fried bologna sandwich, right?
And he said, Winston, he has never had a fried bologna sandwich.
They don't fry stuff out west.
They don't fry stuff out west.
That's a southern thing.
Hmm.
You know?
Well, no wonder it's in such sad shape out there.
Well, anyway, getting back to the point, and the major point of this whole hour is the fact that we've got a fan, young lady in Courtney, who, in all seriousness, I have a great deal of respect for.
If you've ever read her comments on our blog, they are top-notch, obviously very highly educated.
I know she's in college right now.
And she must be one of the few college students that actually has some intelligence.
Anyway, she's asked us, her Christmas gift to the Cesspool staff is she's going to make us some treats and she's going to send them out here.
So my first question is, can our board operator in Utah, can he get some treats too?
So can you send one to Memphis and one to the network in Utah?
Because that's really part of the team too.
So that's number one, Courtney.
And number two, my favorite treats, love brownies.
I'm a big brownie man, you know, a homemade brownie.
That'll melt my heart.
Now, I like chocolate chip cookies too.
I like the soft, soft batch.
I like soft cookies.
Rice Krispie treats, you can't go wrong.
Chocolate-covered peanut butter crackers are good.
What else, Winston?
Come on.
Well, you like anything that comes from Crystal.
Yeah, but I don't think she's going to bake me a Crystal Burger for Christmas.
If Courtney worked at Crystal, you'd dump Danny and you'd go for Courtney, I'm sure.
She worked at Crystals.
You know, that's a marriage breaker right there.
You know, if she can give me the free crystal corn pup and the crystal chick, here's my regular order crystals.
I've never gone to a crystal in my life.
Well, let me tell you something about crystals.
You know, if you go to these real fancy restaurants and you order it off the menu and they don't have a price that says market price because it's so expensive.
Well, Crystals is kind of like that for fast food.
It's never, I order the same thing every time I go to Crystals.
In other parts of the country, they call them White Castle, but in the South, it's Crystals.
And it's two crystals mustard only.
I like a grilled cheese, but I don't like a cheeseburger.
Don't ask me why.
Two Crystals mustard only, two corn pups, two Crystal Chicks plain with nothing on them, large fry and a large sweet tea.
Sweet tea.
Now, that's another thing our producer in Utah probably has never had.
Sweet tea.
He said, oh my God.
He said I'm correct, Winston.
The man has never had sweet tea.
We've got to bring him to Memphis.
Listen, we need to bring our producer from Utah to Memphis.
We need to bring Courtney to Memphis, and we'll just eat fast food and candy all day long.
There you go.
All right.
Anyway, I guess we've wasted a complete half an hour.
I guess work must intrude.
And believe it or not, we still have a couple of matters of serious nature to discuss.
I would think Crystals would be giving you a quantity discount by now.
Listen, you keep talking about I'm going to leave here right now and go get me one.
You're making my mouth water.
So get to politics before I leave you high and dry.
All right.
Any addiction makes you weak.
I just want you to remember that.
What's that?
Any addiction makes you weak.
I'm addicted to a lot of things.
Anything that makes you weak.
Yeah.
I mean, I better not be able to get it.
Who knows what they're going to do with that?
They'll probably call Crystal a hate group now.
Yeah.
Was this my official endorsement of Crystals?
I don't know.
I hate to see Crystals have to face the wrath of the Southern Poverty Law Center.
I don't know.
Crystals feeds James Edwards.
I don't know.
Anyway, Winston, you couldn't be on the show last week because you got delayed in Charlotte, so you didn't make it back to Memphis in time to drive out to the studio.
Why?
Well, first of all, I guess the reason you got delayed in Charlotte isn't the same doesn't have to do with your TSA screening, although that's another interesting story.
So why don't you tell us about it?
Well, yeah, the delay that sent me to Charlotte is just a separate issue.
That's more of the inefficiency and incompetence of a certain airline.
I kept getting, I swear I got a dozen texts from Winston about his lamentations about this flight.
So I guess the TSA screening and the delay in Charlotte just kind of got jumbled in together into one big mishap in my memory.
No, the thing with Charlotte last week, that was just because of the incompetence of a certain airline.
I won't say what it is, but the first words in the name are U.S. I'll never fly them again.
And the last word is air.
Nah, well, some of that, but, you know, there was a bunch of boobs, let me tell you.
And folks, I hope those text messages that I sent to James never get out because let me tell you something.
They were profanity-laced.
You know, Winston doesn't really cuss a lot like the rest of us.
The rest of us, when you go out with us, it's, you know, we're the same that you hear on the show, just with a little bit different language.
And anyway, Winston normally refrains from that, but in text, now that's a whole nother ball of wax.
Well, even before then, I never used language like that in any text before then.
But folks, I was hot.
I was mad as hell.
Anyhow, I thought I couldn't get any matter until I started until I came to fly back from San Diego.
And, you know, I got to the airport nice and early, got up at 4 a.m. and got to the airport in time, plenty of time to catch my flight.
So I was standing in line to go through the metal detectors.
Everybody goes to the metal detector.
And the TSA agent came and took a bunch of us and took us to another line.
I thought it was because the line was so long.
I was kind of amazed that the line at the San Diego airport was a mile and a half long at 4.30 a.m.
But it's a busy airport, folks.
I've been there lots of times.
It's always busy.
But it was exceptionally busy today.
But the TSA agent heard of a handful of us and put us in another line.
And it was to go through the body scans.
Now, you've heard about these body scans.
They've been all over the news.
They've been making a lot of news recently.
Have been, and they should, and they should.
And I fly a lot, folks.
I fly a lot of us.
And I've avoided them for some reason, but this time I didn't avoid it.
And let me tell you, it's a frightening experience.
It's probably not as bad as getting an MRI where they send you through that little tube.
But you're standing there, and you know you are being exposed to somebody.
Janet Napolitano, the Homeland Security Secretary, a woman who has scads of years of experience with security issues.
Hey, Winston, Winston, hang on.
We talk too much about cookies and hamburgers to talk about anything of importance.
So we've got to take a commercial break.
But when we come back, we're going to talk about your body scan.
And I can't wait to hear the details of this.
Stay tuned.
I haven't even heard this story yet.
I'm hearing it for myself for the first time here on the show.
After these messages.
To get on the show and express your opinion in the political cesspool, call us toll-free at 1-866-986-6397.
All right.
We wasted so much time.
Now we're getting jam-packed.
Political Cesspool correspondent Peter Scoop Stanton is calling in with the report.
Scoop was a fixture on the show for a few years there.
We've got to get him back on more often.
And he's calling in tonight to give us a report.
But first, we've got to go back.
Winston is telling us about his recent experience with a TSA airport screen.
And as I was telling you, Winston, in the break, you know, I haven't heard this story yet.
So spare no detail.
You know, lay it all out there.
Well, I have to spare some detail, James, because this is a family show, you know, and this could get pretty vulgar.
Well, without the vulgarities, how did you get accosted?
How were you, you know, how were you offended?
Well, first I went through the body scan, and I have a lot of metal in my body from various injuries from explosions I was in and accidents and things like that when I was in the military.
So I don't know how deep these scans go, but I was in there for just a second, and they immediately pulled me out and took me to the room for what has been called the enhanced pat-down.
At first, they were very courteous about it.
They said, here's what we're going to do.
We're going to do this, and we're going to do that.
And they said, we're going to put our hands on the inside of your thigh, and we are going to go all the way up to the bottom of your torso.
And I thought, well, you know, I thought, you know, you better be careful because I react very viscerally to certain things.
Well, was it a man or a woman doing that?
Yes, it was a male.
And if it was a woman, would that have been okay?
No, it would not have been.
If she had looked good?
No.
Not at all.
No.
So I went into the room, and they start conducting the pat down.
And folks, I mean to tell you, it is very thorough.
It is very vigorous.
And it is very demeaning.
They search you in ways that I swear, if somebody that you didn't know who was not in the federal government did it, you could have them arrested.
I felt like I was being assaulted.
Let me say this, James.
For all you queers out there, and for all you sodomites, for all you pedophiles, forget joining the priesthood.
Go to work for the PSA.
That is going to be your best opportunity to get whatever pleasure you derive from such things.
You'll never get a better opportunity.
Because, James, they grope you in places and in ways that it was, I felt, violated.
And I think this is a recurring refrain.
I haven't kept up with the news stories because we have so many other things to read.
But, folks, I walked away disgusted.
My wife said, well, what is the one word you can use to describe it?
And I said, I was disgusted.
It is a disgusting process.
I think, though, James, that the only way to get around these enhanced procedures is to make certain that you look Middle Eastern.
The TSA would never subject a Muslim-looking person to an intensive search because that would be racial profiling.
So they have to pull aside white people to justify these things.
You know, like when the Muslim woman, you know, how these real Orthodox Muslims go through that, you can't see anything but like a slit with her eyes pop out, and everything else is head-to-toe black sheet.
I bet she walks through there, no problem.
Yeah, as I understand it, the Council for American Islamic Relations or CARE, based in Washington, D.C., they are objecting mightily to this thing because they say that modesty is very important in Islam.
Well, yeah, so is concealing bombs.
But people have said, well, you know, if you complain about it, that's just making the terrorists happy because if you succeed in getting these procedures done with, it'll make the terrorist job easier.
And, folks, there is some truth to that.
But the real truth of it is it is not white people who are the threat.
It is not American citizens who are the threat.
It is Middle Eastern peoples.
And if you Middle Eastern people don't like me saying that, then I urge you to take matters into your own hands and take care of the problem.
These people are a problem for you.
And they're making it hard on everybody.
And if you object to us thinking ill of you, then I suggest that you take care of the people who are putting us in the position of suspecting you.
Now, that's just common sense, folks.
If you know the profile of somebody who might want to bring a bomb on an airplane, you don't go looking for the exact opposite.
If you lose your watch in a dark alley, you don't go looking under a street lamp.
You go to where the most obvious threat is coming from.
And again, it's unfortunate that many innocent Muslims will suffer this degradation.
But it's not our fault.
It is the fault of Muslims, the Muslims who put us in this position.
We didn't put ourselves in this position.
It was Muslim terrorists.
And I refer back to what not long after 9-11.
One, I think it was an editor of a Muslim magazine said, it's true that not all Muslims are terrorists, but sadly, almost all terrorists are Muslims.
Now, the things that I want to bring up about this incredibly demeaning and disgusting process through which I went, I want to say this.
Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano notoriously said on national television that these machines, these scanning machines, cannot store or export the images that they take.
Well, we know that's just a flat-out lie because we've all seen the sample images from these things.
How did those images get on the internet?
How did they get on television?
Well, I got them because the machines stored them and they exported them.
Besides, we have a couple of articles that expose that lie.
We have this one here from August 5th.
Headline, feds admit body scanner machines stored images.
And this whole story talks about how these machines do indeed store these images and they can't export them.
Let's see.
Here's another one.
Body scan images from security checkpoints were saved by feds.
So we know that Janet Napolitano lied to us on national television.
James, who would have thought that?
A government official lying to us.
Who would have thought of that?
Probably not me, but maybe someone as enlightened as our longtime political sensible correspondent, Peter Scoop Stanton.
Pete, what do you think about what do you think about Winston's story?
It's absolutely incredible.
Unfortunately, Witz's story was overshadowed by another traveler who happened to be coming out of, I believe, the San Diego airport for the same thing.
This gentleman, I forget his name, said, if he touched my junk, I'm going to have you arrested.
That's right.
I knew I saw a story about this.
Okay.
I was thinking about that story.
So, yeah, that's right.
Now, what happened to that guy?
He didn't get to fly.
He did not get to fly.
Supervisors were called.
I'm not sure what the details are about, but instead of Don't Tread on Me, the new war cry is don't touch my junk.
A couple of issues about a couple things about the TSA.
First and foremost, these TSA agents are not, I repeat, are not law enforcement officers.
They do not have powers of arrest.
Oh, really?
They do not have the power to get us, obtain an arrest warrant or a search warrant, even though they have a badge that says officer.
They are civilians.
When somebody needs to be arrested for whatever, they have to call the airport police, either be the Airport Authority Police in Washington, Port Authority Police in New York and New Jersey, up at the three airports up there, LA Airport Police or Chicago Police, depending on what airport you're going to, number one.
Number two, these TSA agents do not have, should not, and do not have the right to search you under the Supreme Court decision called Terry versus Ohio, where the Supreme Court said that a law enforcement officer has the right to stop, question, and possibly frisk a person if there is a reasonable suspicion that a crime has committed,
is about to be committed, or will be committed.
But somebody just going, catching a plane is not criminal activity.
So you'd think the ACLU would be all over this like white on rice, but they're too busy getting ready to sue local governments for nativity scenes and things like that.
Hey, you know, Pete, what I love about your commentaries, what I've loved about them going back to 07 when you first started working with us, man, you can deadpan better than anybody.
I mean, you can just work it in there.
Great wit, great comedic timing there.
And we're going to have more.
Pete, I tell you, we've got to get back to the way it was before we got syndicated.
We've got to start having you on like whenever you want.
You remember how freewheeling it was back in those days, guys?
We've got to take a break.
Speaking of it being more stringent now, I've got to take a commercial break.
We'll be back to wrap up the show right after this.
Jump in the political cesspool with James and the gang.
Call us tonight at 1-866-986-6397.
And here's the host of the Political Cess Pool, James Edwards.
All right, everybody.
Two hours, 45 minutes down for tonight's broadcast.
15 minutes still left to go.
And we're rounding it out tonight with the trio.
James Edwards, yours truly, along with Winston Smith, my co-host and political cesspool correspondent, Peter Scoop Stanton.
We've been talking about what, guys.
Oh, we've been talking about Winston Smith getting groped.
James, I want to say one more thing and then turn it over to Pete because I like to hear him talk just like you do.
But the final thing I want to say about this is that no one should ever be required to make themselves vulnerable or expose themselves to someone who might regard them sexually.
If we give up, I was told a couple of times during this process that when you buy an airline ticket, you give up a lot of your rights.
And that is just bunk.
My rights were not, I did not give them up.
They were taken away from me.
Primarily my right to privacy.
But if we have to give the right to privacy in order to have somebody feel you up, I hate to use the strong language, but that's what they were doing, James.
It was a vulgar experience.
I want to know, I want some kind of certification.
I want a piece of paper on the wall saying that this guy who was fing me is not a queer or that he's never had a criminal record or something He will not take this, he will not derive pleasure from this experience.
You're bringing up a very good point because obviously they don't let male TSA agents examine the female passengers, but what about a homosexual TSA agent?
And a strapping man like yourself, Winston.
So, I mean, what happens then?
I don't know, but children get subjected to this.
I say it's a modified pat-down, but folks, if your child is ever pulled aside for this enhanced pat-down, don't you dare let them go into that room with that guy unaccompanied.
And if they insist that you stay outside, then you take your child and you exit the airport.
You fight with everything you have.
You do not let them take your child away from you because, as I've said numerous times here, it is a vulgar experience, and no child should ever have to experience that.
Well, now, you would know about this better than me.
I fly quite a bit myself.
I've never been the experience that you did.
Can you go back with your wife?
Can you go back with your kids?
I don't know, James.
I just don't know.
Right now, it seems to me the only option you have is to submit or get arrested.
Did you cut it together?
They are very heavy-handed about this in more ways than one, if you know what I mean.
But the room that they took me in had signs saying essentially bad behavior can result in a fine of $10,000 and jail time.
So they are of the opinion that once you buy that airline ticket, you have to totally submit to them.
You have very few rights.
Really, the only right you have is to submit.
It is a thuggish thing, and they approach it with the same sort of glee that Tim Wise approaches a hoped-for mass white die-off.
All right, last question, because we've got to get to Scoop.
Scoop's probably loaded for bear on this one anyway, but did you say anything to the agent?
He got a little too, shall we say, personal down there, and I grabbed his arm and I told him what I thought.
Then what happened?
I'm not going to say it on radio.
But, you know, what makes the whole thing even worse is the fact that all these TSA agents, they are trained to tell you, have a nice day.
You will hear that 15 times as you're going through this line.
Have a nice day, have a nice day.
And all it does is irritate you and make you matter.
But the guy, after he has finished fondling me, he said, okay, have a nice day.
And I said, have a hernia.
And then I called him an expletive.
I did.
I questioned his parentage, shall we say.
All right, all right, all right.
We're getting Winston fired up.
I am so ticked off.
And I want our listeners to be ticked off, too.
Well, Scoop, I just had our producer whisper in my ear that we got a special call on the line.
We're going to get to that in just a second.
But first, Scoop, any thoughts on all this or anything else, for that matter?
Well, from what it sounds like, these TSA agents are violating your Fourth Amendment rights, number one.
Number two, those who do fly, such as James Winston and myself, have you seen the people who work for the TSA as agents?
I question their character in the background check because they are the most unprofessional looking people wearing any type of uniform, representing any type of government agency.
I mean, they look like the drugs of society.
And then another, when I was proudly serving with the U.S. Navy, I was at Hancock Field in Syracuse, New York, and I was selected for secondary screening despite the fact the ID identification card that I provided was an active military ID, and the identification card provided by my wife was a dependent member of the services.
And I told the gentleman, I said, sir, you don't have to do this.
I'm active duty military.
Here's my ID.
Here's my bag that says U.S. Navy on it.
I said, there's my mother and father.
They got a boarding pass to see myself and my wife off.
I said, you don't have to do this.
I am the last person to do something stupid.
And his response was, I'm sorry, sir, but I'm sorry, sir, but, you know, it sounded like a broken record.
And then another friend of mine who served in the U.S. Army had to go through TSA screening overseas in Germany.
We have TSA agents in Germany and in Ireland.
He was selected for secondary screening despite the fact the shirt he was wearing over the left breast pockets had the letters U.S. Army over it.
So I guess TSA thought he might be a terrorist.
Yeah, but you know, guys, what are you going to do?
It takes you a week to drive.
I'm going to dress like a Muslim from now on.
You can't help but fly sometimes because you want to take a trip to California from Memphis.
It's going to take you a week to drive out there.
You can be there in two hours on a plane, so they kind of got you over the barrel.
Well, you don't yet.
They like you that way.
Or you don't go to California.
Or if you have to travel, either you take your car or take the train.
The best thing about the train is that wherever you're going, say, from Memphis to Washington, you start out in downtown Memphis.
Do we have a train in Memphis?
Or I don't know about Memphis, but if Philadelphia to Washington.
Like, real cities have trains.
Memphis, come on.
Yes, we do have a train stop in Memphis.
My daughter has taken it.
No kidding.
Yeah, yeah.
And I bet you dirt in downtown Memphis.
And if you take it, say, up to Washington, it's going to end up in downtown Washington.
Now, now we got freight trains, but you're talking about a passenger train.
Oh, yeah, my daughter took a train to North Dakota.
No kidding.
He learned something every day on the street.
You got to get out and see people, James.
I tell you.
Got to get out of here.
We only got about two and a half minutes left.
Scoop, did you hear the segment earlier where one of the listeners of the show is going to give us some baked goods for Christmas?
Yes.
Yes.
And my stomach started growling.
Well, listen.
Special surprise is we've got her on the line right now.
Courtney is on the line.
He is to take orders.
Courtney, thanks for calling in and thank you.
Thanks for letting me on.
I mean, I feel like the other matter is so much more important, so thank you so much.
You've got to have some fun sometimes.
It's more important than our listeners.
I've got to say, as a southerner, I'm a little embarrassed that y'all spent a segment talking about southern food, and all you talked about was crystal hamburgers, brownies, sugar cookies, and fried food.
I mean, there's a lot more.
Maybe I do need to come by and bring you something a little nicer.
You're right.
We did not do our Southern cuisine, our Southern cuisine justice.
Southern food is the best in the world, and it's not all fried, but it just so happens that a lot of us were raised on that.
Well, that's how the Confederates had to fry it.
Kept them full.
Well, let's see.
I said, sweet tea, we got barbecue.
We had lots of barbecue down here.
Say what you want about Memphis, but you will not find finer barbecue anywhere.
And I'm from Texas, you know.
So, Courtney, have you ever had Memphis barbecue?
See, now maybe we know something you don't.
No, I have not.
I've had barbecue in Alabama and Virginia.
That's not.
Does that count, Winston?
No.
And she sounds southerner.
Now, see, when you've got a southerner, when you're a southerner and you've got another southerner on that makes you sound like you're from the Midwest, now that's a southerner.
I love her accent.
Well, we got a minute left.
Scoop, I'm hoping that Courtney's on with pen and paper in hand because, you know, we got a pretty, we got a grocery list for her to go out and get now.
So, Scoop, what do you want for Christmas?
Peanut butter cookies.
Peanut butter cookies.
Now, that's two.
Winston said he wanted peanut butter cookies.
I got it.
Y'all are making it too easy for me.
I was thinking you would say fudge or, you know, simple men with simple needs.
No, fudge.
See, fudge is just too sweet.
You know, you can't really eat a lot of fudge.
So you can eat chocolate chip cookies.
I need a box.
Oh, I'll tell you what's good are those.
This isn't something you could bake, but maybe you could.
You know, the Oreos with the white chocolate fudge that only comes out at Christmas time.
Yeah, those aren't.
I hate those.
There's like four of them in a box, and it's like $10 a box.
That's craziness.
Listen.
We've got to have Courtney back on for a full segment next soon before Christmas.
We're really going to get into the spirit of the season, but we're out of time for tonight.
But, Courtney, in all honesty, I'm glad you called in.
Thank you so much for the offer, and we're going to take you up on it.
And I wanted to thank you for all your support of the show and all the comments you leave on the blog.