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April 3, 2022 - Timcast IRL - Tim Pool
39:41
Sunday Uncensored: Robby Starbuck Member Podcast: Jon Stewart Goes Woke And Slams White People

Join the Timcast IRL crew for a sneak peek at a members-only episode featuring congressional candidate for Tennessee's 5th District Robby Starbuck to discuss what Jon Stewart has been up to since he left the Daily Show. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Participants
Main voices
r
robby starbuck
11:32
t
tim pool
18:40
Appearances
i
ian crossland
04:28
Clips
j
jon stewart
00:56
j
josh hammer
00:28
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Speaker Time Text
tim pool
Welcome to our special weekend show, Sunday Uncensored.
Every week we produce four uncensored episodes of the TimCast IRL podcast exclusively at TimCast.com, and we're going to bring you the most important for our weekend show.
If you want to check out more segments just like this, become a member at TimCast.com.
unidentified
Now, enjoy the show.
tim pool
Jon Stewart is back!
And also not back.
Jon Stewart is a sad, sad old man.
And it's sad to see.
I was such a big fan of Jon Stewart when I was younger.
He dips out just before Trump gets elected.
He pops back in afterwards.
And he's woke now.
He's woke.
He called Andrew Sullivan racist, basically.
He ran a segment called The Problem with White People.
He completely exaggerated all of these claims.
He praises individuals like Ta-Nehisi Coates because Jon Stewart is a lazy, Factless old man who has lost He's lost it and it's it's really really sad But you know what?
We're gonna see people rise up in his in his stead and do the job that he was supposed to be doing Which is being honest and being real instead what he's doing is he's talking shit Oh white people have a real conversation.
I have a real conversation about systemic racism Yeah.
Unfortunately for us, uh, he brought on Andrew Sullivan and Andrew Sullivan did a very, very bad job.
So we have the video here.
Look at this.
robby starbuck
You can already tell he's going to lose just by the, just by how he's sitting.
You know, you can tell he's just, destruction is on its way.
tim pool
Why the fuck would any person do a digital Debate like this because what happens is this morbidly obese woman over here on the right?
Starts talking over him and says I'm shutting you down now And he can't talk because he's on a TV screen in the background and she's in the foreground on camera So this was just a very miserable idea, but ultimately comes to the point where you know we have Andrew Sullivan on the whole time I guess and Let's let's play a little bit.
Let's see maybe we're at No.
jon stewart
If you can't diagnose the problem, you can't fix it.
unidentified
We need to think about how we help the family restructure itself, because it's key.
jon stewart
Let's boil it down then.
Why do you think the family got that way?
tim pool
I don't know where the exact point is, where he calls Andrew Sullivan a racist and the fat woman starts saying, I'm going to shut you down.
Let me see if we can jump to it.
I don't know, whatever.
The point is, This segment was called The Problem with... Oh, here it is!
The Problem with White People.
Five days ago, with almost a million views.
33,000 likes, and then Jon Stewart makes a joke about how... Get your clickbait in now!
This is where we're at.
This is what Jon Stewart is.
And, uh... I don't know, man.
It's just sad to see.
robby starbuck
It's very sad.
You know, I mean, but this has infected a lot of people in our country who, you know, let's be perfectly honest, just don't have real problems.
They don't have real problems.
And it's almost like how, you know, teenagers have to like push up against something, you know, it's just like a natural part of growing up being a teenager.
I feel like when you're at this comfortable place in life where everything's been so cushy for you, you need some sort of problem to fix.
And that used to be like going in a woodshed and making something or fixing something in your house, but now it's being an anti-racist and reading Ibram Kendi and creating problems that don't exist.
For instance, And this is a problem across the board in the U.S., not just in Democrat areas.
Because even in red Tennessee, we have a program to give you free college if you're a minority only, okay?
And it explicitly spells out in there that Cubans can go get free college, be a doctor or a nurse, if you fit into this racial category, okay?
I don't want their help.
Okay, as a Cuban, I don't want their help.
I don't want the government to pay for me to go to school because I'm Cuban.
I think it's ludicrous.
It's offensive and tells me that I'm somehow less capable to go and earn it on my own or do it on my own or, you know, just get the grades necessary to get a scholarship or whatever it is than somebody who's not Cuban, somebody who's white, you know?
And I'll tell you this, this is actually an interesting thing, I think, for a lot of people.
You know what real privilege is?
It's not white privilege.
It's the fact that I'm not worried about my kids getting into college.
Not just because of position or stature or any of those things, but no.
Because they can write down on their college applications that they're Latino.
They can write down that they're Hispanic.
I'm not worried about them making it in.
They'll make it into whatever school they want to go to.
But if they had to write down that they were white, because my wife is white, Then I would actually worry.
tim pool
I did find the clip, so let me play a little bit of this.
jon stewart
...all white people.
The systems that were racist that were put in place... Systems?
Yes.
The systems that were put in place.
unidentified
I'd like you to explain exactly what they are.
jon stewart
Well, I thought I explained it earlier about the GI Bill and about the New Deal.
unidentified
That's one thing.
I want to know about these systems.
jon stewart
I just explained it.
Housing, food.
unidentified
That's one, and I agree with that.
jon stewart
Andrew, you're not living on the same fucking planet we are.
ian crossland
He's on video, dude.
Have him in the studio, man.
tim pool
See, this is the point.
Andrew Sullivan, what the fuck was he thinking?
That was the most piss-poor non-answer, non-response to any debate, and Jon Stewart gets frustrated because Andrew Sullivan didn't offer anything substantive.
Jon Stewart is wrong.
He's right about some things, like housing, in terms of systemic racism.
He's correct about that.
But the problem is, you need someone to actually be like, Jon, Jon, Jon, have a seat.
Like, ask me the question, let me give you the answer.
Instead, Andrew Sullivan is just like, that's one thing!
So what?
ian crossland
One thing.
tim pool
Saying it's one thing is basically like, I agree with you, I agree with you, but I'm angry.
What's the fucking point of having that conversation?
But let's get to the point where the morbidly obese woman chimes in.
unidentified
I think you are not living in the planet most Americans are, which is why this kind of extremism, this anti-white extremism, is losing popular support, is creating a backlash, is going to elect Republicans and undo a lot of the good you think you're doing.
This is what happens when you don't talk about it.
This is what happens when white people don't talk about it.
Is you have racist dog whistle tropes like this that actually perpetuate and perpetuate and perpetuate.
So I am, and I did not come on this show to sit here and argue with another white man.
That's one of the reasons that we don't even engage with white men at race to dinner.
tim pool
Oh, seriously, what the fuck?
robby starbuck
She doesn't leave her desserts for that, okay?
unidentified
Quite honestly, if white men were going to do something about racism, you had 400 years.
tim pool
It's called one of the bloodiest motherfucking wars ever fought, and it was a whole bunch of motherfucking ass white people who died in the Civil War.
Spare me your fucking bullshit, dude.
robby starbuck
Unbelievable.
tim pool
We weren't the first in the United States to abolish slavery, but we did abolish it, and it was one of the bloodiest battles fought to abolish it.
unidentified
And guess what?
robby starbuck
Slavery still exists, and I don't see these ladies going over to go save the people who are enslaved right now.
And I would like to ask her how many slaves she thinks exist in Africa right now.
tim pool
There are more slaves alive today than there were back then.
robby starbuck
There are more slaves today than there were then.
tim pool
You notice how she started talking over Andrew?
ian crossland
Yeah, that was obnoxious.
tim pool
Well, don't agree to go on shows in this format.
ian crossland
That's what's going to happen.
Super famous people will come and they'll be like, hey, want to be on my podcast?
And it's, remember this moment.
No, don't get fucked.
tim pool
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Sit down in real life.
So we don't have people on the TV screen as guests.
Yeah.
It's stupid.
robby starbuck
It's irritating.
tim pool
You'll get accused of beating them down, badgering, and not giving a chance.
And then what will they do?
They'll sub in other people and make a meme and just shit all over.
You want to have a real conversation.
You don't do this.
robby starbuck
There's a courage differential, too.
You know, the courage differential of, like, if you're on a screen, suddenly you're not there.
You don't have to have consequences for what you say.
If you're in front of somebody and you're with them, you're going to find out where somebody really is.
Will they say that thing to that person in person?
tim pool
Check out this next part.
unidentified
OK.
I am 58 years old.
I'm shutting you down right now.
I am not responsible for anyone performing.
So the point is, I'm so tired of just engaging in this conversation and this deep hurt that Andrew has about talking about racism.
And Chip, God bless you, but I'm going to put everybody in the thing.
All of us white people do this.
I don't care if we say we're abolitionists.
I don't care if we say we're progressive.
I don't care if we're literally members of the KKK.
Every single white person upholds these systems and structures of white supremacy.
and we have got to talk about it.
jon stewart
I think it's a good thing that we are talking about it.
unidentified
I think he's calling me a racist, Tom.
jon stewart
Let's... You're... You've been doing a pretty good job with it yourself there, so... Uh, but Andrew, you're taking words out of context and blowing them out of proportion so that you don't have to deal with Having to figure out a way to deconstruct the barriers that were put in place for black people in this country and give them a better chance.
unidentified
Your opening segment, your opening segment was brilliant.
I don't think he's gone.
Brilliant!
ian crossland
Talking over him.
unidentified
The biggest productionist one-sided.
tim pool
I just can't stand listening to Andrew Sullivan.
I can stand listening to Jon Stewart be wrong.
I can.
Because Jon Stewart is like, here's my statement, here's my argument.
But Andrew Sullivan just keeps saying, your argument's bad, one-sided, that's one thing.
He's not actually saying anything.
ian crossland
Yeah, when Jon was like, you're not even on this planet, he was like, you're actually the one that's not even on this planet!
tim pool
You're calling me racist!
ian crossland
You're on Jon Stewart's show and that's what you're gonna say?
tim pool
Let me answer Jon Stewart's questions, answer to his points very, very simply.
Jon, you're absolutely correct about the GI Bill and housing.
I think the history in Chicago is profound.
The redlining and blockbusting.
Redlining, the term actually comes from Chicago, where the real estate companies would be like, black people can only live here, don't sell to anybody.
Yeah, and blockbusting is when they actually destroyed the property value with the fear of black people so they could buy up homes at discounted rates.
All of that's true.
It's horrifying, too.
unidentified
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tim pool
Bye now.
And in many of the areas, like the area I grew up in, it's no longer just black.
Now you have Latinos, you have Polish immigrants, you have black people obviously as still the larger portion in many of these impoverished communities.
In which case, When the progressive leftists come out and they propose race-based solutions, what's really happening is other people who are impacted in much the same way, and identically, are being left behind.
So you want to talk about the South Side of Chicago, redlining and blockbusting.
The reason why these areas are incredibly impoverished is because a combination of the two, redlining and blockbusting.
So now you have black families that have property values that are very low, that are hard to transfer wealth to the next generation, which creates areas of increased poverty, and increased poverty means increased crime.
Over the past 40 or so years, white people, Latinos, and others have moved into many of these areas because they're also poor.
They are also being negatively impacted by the remnants of racist policies, but they're not black themselves.
Yes, that's right.
A white Southsider in Chicago who lives in a very densely black area is experiencing crime and poverty and an inability to transfer wealth and poor maintenance and poor public services because of racist policies against black people.
So I don't want to leave anybody behind.
The solution is quite simple.
Class-based solutions.
And if the concern of the progressives are that, yeah, well, black people are disproportionately hurt by these policies, I got good news for you.
If that's true, then class-based solutions will disproportionately help black people.
Problem solved.
But Andrew Sullivan doesn't give any of those answers, and neither does Jon Stewart.
robby starbuck
Yeah.
No, they're not interested in answers.
And the truth is, is that, you know, People like Jon Stewart have blinders on to the realities of the actual situation they're talking about, and at the core of all of this, again, is children, because critical race theory is really being imposed on little kids, and that's the plan.
You know, again, separate them and change their reality, create chaos in society.
And when you do that, and you get these blinders on with people like him, he doesn't realize what's really going on in those classrooms.
He doesn't want to know, and that's the truth of it.
He's not investigating.
He does not want to know, because if he did know, he couldn't have that conversation.
He couldn't do that.
tim pool
I think Jon Stewart's, uh, in his opening segment, he struggled to read the word reparation, and many people pointed out it's because he's reading a prompter.
It's because he doesn't actually know what he's talking about.
robby starbuck
Yeah.
Oh, 100%.
He's soaked in narcissism, too, that whole, that whole time.
ian crossland
What happened to him, man?
He was, he was right on the pulse up until, like, A year ago or less.
tim pool
Join the cult, buddy!
ian crossland
I think LeBron James all of a sudden one day is like, yeah!
Yeah, white people are the problem!
And like all of a sudden you see now he's a race baiter.
Now he's talking about race all the time.
robby starbuck
It's crazy.
It really is a cult.
Well, and the thing is, is like, you know, there's a lot of things about the human condition
that just don't change and people wanting an enemy is one of them.
And when you have such a wonderful life that most Americans have had in terms of, if you
look at the vast majority of history, even if you're in a bad position in America, you're
incredibly lucky comparatively to how humans have lived their lives from, you know, the
beginning of existence.
And people forget that.
And you need that thing to make your enemy that has ruined your life, no matter what.
It doesn't matter, even rich people do it where they're like, I would have even more
if this person didn't do this.
Everybody's always got to have somebody that they push up against that is their, you know,
person holding them back from their highest good.
And they're making white people that.
tim pool
I got a question.
Would you be willing to cause financial harm to impoverished minorities for the sake of another impoverished minority group of a different race?
robby starbuck
And he would say, and he would say, Oh, absolutely not.
That's what he would do.
tim pool
Absolutely not.
So, uh, my, my issue here is when we're talking about the smallest minorities, uh, let me, let me, let me, let me dig, dig deeper.
Do you think that, um, a smaller minority group should get preference than a larger minority group?
Say that there's a, there's a race of people in the United States that make up 10 to 20% of the population.
And then there's a group that makes a 5%.
Should that 5% receive any kind of preferential treatment because they're a smaller minority?
ian crossland
Personally, I don't think race, like me and you, we look the same.
We just look like American dudes, I don't know.
unidentified
100%.
robby starbuck
I should not be treated differently than you and have more opportunities than you do.
If we're born on the same day, we live in the same country, I should not have more opportunities than you do because my family came from somewhere different.
That's ridiculous.
tim pool
But you're not white, right?
robby starbuck
Technically, by their standards, no.
But like, to me, I'm like, I'd consider myself probably pretty white.
Like, I mean, but it's funny because if I... Hold on, let me ask you.
tim pool
Did you ever actually, in your life, one day, look at yourself and say, I'm white?
robby starbuck
No.
tim pool
Exactly.
unidentified
No.
tim pool
This is the weird reality.
robby starbuck
It's like a weird question, too.
Like, are you white?
It's like, well, like, use your eyeballs, bro.
You know?
tim pool
It's not just that.
It's these woke people want white people to have a white identity.
Like, Ian, have you ever in your life just, like, one day been like, I am white?
ian crossland
Yeah, well, it was with a question mark at the end.
I looked in the mirror and I was like, I'm white?
Like, I'm trying to understand.
Okay, my skin is not white, but I am white.
I'm just coming to terms with it.
tim pool
That's not what I asked.
I asked when you were younger.
ian crossland
No, the answer is no.
When I did realize it was a confusing realization, like, I'll accept that this is what they're calling me, though I'm not white.
tim pool
I never had any kind of weird, like, racial identity.
And the funny thing is, I grew up in a neighborhood where my one friend Andy, who would call everybody by their racial slur, called me gook all the time.
And it's like, he was Cartman.
He was like, it was Eric Cartman.
So he would just use racial slurs for people.
And everybody thought it was funny.
Because it was like, you know, to be honest, we all watch South Park.
And so trying to- They were doing that stuff.
unidentified
Yeah.
robby starbuck
Emulating what was happening on TV.
tim pool
And so he was trying to be edgy and funny.
So, knowing that my group of friends viewed me as Korean didn't mean anything to me.
robby starbuck
It shows you how powerful culture is, too.
tim pool
Yeah.
So, you know, my friends knew that, you know, we'd eat bulgogi for dinner or whatever and teriyaki and stuff, even though my mom is, like, American, but she still had her mom cooking this kind of stuff.
They knew all that.
They would make these jokes.
There was never a moment in my life where I was like, back then, that I'm like, wow, These white people are looking at me, and they're calling me a different race.
robby starbuck
They're hurting me.
tim pool
It's what's going on.
I was always just like, oh yeah, I guess I am Korean.
ian crossland
I don't know.
tim pool
It is funny, isn't it?
ian crossland
There was a point where I went to South America, and I was in Chile, and they were calling me Thor, because I looked like Chris Hemsworth.
To them, I guess I looked like Chris Hemsworth.
robby starbuck
Ah, that's a stretch.
Did they see an eye doctor?
ian crossland
Yeah, exactly.
But to them, it was basically a racist thing.
To them, I was a white guy with long hair.
tim pool
He roasted you, bro.
ian crossland
He was more than welcome.
robby starbuck
I think they need glasses.
unidentified
We can agree.
ian crossland
I look nothing like Chris Hemsworth.
But to these people in South America, I was a white guy with long hair.
So it was a very racist, I guess, but I wasn't offended by it.
I noticed it.
robby starbuck
You're reminding me.
So you want real racism?
Go to China.
unidentified
Oh, yeah.
robby starbuck
China is the most racist.
I've been all over the world.
China is the most racist country, and it's not close.
There is nothing that is a close second.
I went with a very famous black celebrity.
And the amount of racism thrown at him in China is like something I've never seen before.
And you know, you have to understand they use the n-word in their language too.
It means a different thing in Mandarin.
It means like that there.
But it sounds the exact same as n-word here.
They also do it in a way that is, they try to pretend they're not saying it, but they are saying it.
And so we had somebody with us who was black who speaks Mandarin, and they were a translator, and they could tell the difference.
And generally with Americans, that's not the case.
They don't have somebody with them speaking Mandarin unless they are Chinese.
And in many cases, if it's a celebrity, it's somebody deeply tied to the Communist Party.
Well, we had our own person.
Because we knew that.
I was very woke to communism and I was like, I had warned this person.
It was Akon.
And it was crazy the amount of times that he was treated terribly.
tim pool
You remember when they banned black people from McDonald's?
During COVID.
robby starbuck
Oh yes!
I do remember that in China they did.
They banned black people in China from McDonald's.
Was it only McDonald's?
I thought it was multiple things.
tim pool
I think it was multiple things, but the video, yeah, the video of it was, look at this, McDonald's apologizes after a restaurant kind of bans black people.
robby starbuck
Yes, this happened at more than just McDonald's, though.
I remember seeing news stories from a bunch of other places where it had become a cultural thing, where they were like blaming black people for COVID.
Yeah.
And it's really sad, but China, it's not even close.
I mean, the experience we had there was rough.
It was bad.
It was very bad.
ian crossland
I would imagine.
Han supremacist?
Is that a fair way to classify?
tim pool
Yo, Asians are racist!
robby starbuck
I'm not sure.
I've never heard that term before.
ian crossland
Han supremacy, like the Han dynasty is ancient.
I think Han. Isn't it Han? H-A-N. No, the Hans were a different culture.
robby starbuck
Oh, okay. Han. Han.
tim pool
Well, the Hans, weren't they in Europe?
ian crossland
Mongolia?
Yeah, it was like, it was like, it was among, it was like 500, 600 AD. The Hans were earlier.
robby starbuck
I have a little Mongolian in me. I did one, well, I didn't do it. One of my sisters did
one of those 23andMe things.
tim pool
All of these Southeast Asian cultures think they're racially superior to everyone else.
ian crossland
And this is a generalization.
Obviously, not everyone that lives there is racist, but it's culturally, apparently.
The Han supremacy thing's interesting because, like, the Uyghurs are not Han, so they're being treated like dog shit.
tim pool
They're being raped.
robby starbuck
They're being treated, I mean, everybody loves to say, never again.
Well, you're letting it happen again.
tim pool
Yeah, well, you know, Russia.
Russia bad.
ian crossland
Really, we want to wake up, man.
Talk about ending slavery, dude.
We got to look at the Uyghurs.
robby starbuck
Yeah.
tim pool
Yeah it's it's it's you know it's it's sad to see Jon Stewart in this position.
robby starbuck
It's sad to see- He's a shell of himself.
tim pool
Well doing the problem with white people is just like come on dude you want to have a conversation about housing and stuff like for sure but he's just going down that racist rabbit hole.
josh hammer
Hey guys, Josh Hammer here, the host of America on Trial with Josh Hammer, a podcast for the First Podcast Network.
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tim pool
It's America on Trial with Josh Hammer.
And what would he say?
robby starbuck
His brain would burst at that question.
tim pool
Yeah, right.
He's gonna give you some... Well, I mean, we gotta take into consideration the realities of it.
Like, yes or no, bro?
One or two?
ian crossland
True or false?
tim pool
Pick one.
Don't fucking give me your workaround bullshit excuse for why you're a fucking racist.
robby starbuck
Well, the answer I've seen them going with on this is that, like, well, if Martin Luther King was alive today, he would educate you on this.
He wasn't talking about that.
He was actually meaning something very different.
But you're just saying that and you're misusing what he's saying.
Because if you look at everything he says, Then it's very different.
And it's like, that's not the question.
The question is, do you agree with that statement or not?
tim pool
The idea that white people have prioritized, what does he say?
He says white people prioritized white comfort over black survival.
It's just fucking stupid.
Because the real, you want me to break it down for you?
robby starbuck
So he's in therapy.
tim pool
The majority of any ethnic group has a tendency, had a tendency throughout history, to protect its own ethnic group.
Typically because of cultural separations, which resulted in war and conflict, the easiest way to identify someone as not being a part of your community was by their race.
If you were, say, French, and you're in a village full of white people all speaking French, and some dudes show up speaking English, fucking war!
Eventually, when they expand, you end up with Arab nations and, you know, the Ottoman Empire, and then seeing different colored people was the easiest way to be like, you're clearly not from where we are, and that's war.
Because, like, wars were breaking out.
Nowadays, we all kind of live around each other and everything, you know?
So the reality is it's the majority has always been favoring the majority.
Yeah.
The English would not favor a Frenchman in English territory just because they were like, you're not part of this.
That's all changing now, but it's people like Jon Stewart that are bringing us all right back into the mess, into the bullshit.
robby starbuck
And they use lines that sound like bad therapists.
ian crossland
I will never give up on John.
He's done so much good.
I think he's the guy to talk to about the differential.
Maybe him and James Lindsay together about how it's a race issue, but it's a class issue.
We need to get down to the idiosyncrasies.
robby starbuck
Ask yourself, would John even have that conversation?
Like legit one-on-one at a table and debate him?
I don't think he would anymore.
He doesn't have the gravity to do it.
He doesn't understand what the issues are anymore.
He doesn't get it.
He's disconnected.
And that's the most dangerous thing in this world, is if you're disconnected from the lives of normal people, you start listening to uppity people like an uppity therapist in Manhattan who's telling you that this is the reality of black people.
Well, the reality is that in elections in New York, the people voting for the crazy progressive left-wing nuttery that he's out there pushing are white people in Manhattan.
Black people in the Bronx and Latinos in the Bronx, those people are voting for much more conservative policing policies.
But they can't explain that.
tim pool
I don't think Jon Stewart's producers or whoever for his show would have someone like James Lindsay on.
No.
Andrew Sullivan was an easy target.
100%.
He was a miserable performance by Sullivan.
That is what it is.
I'm tired of looking up at these old people, and I'm more interested in just doing the work.
Agreed.
It's remarkable.
I remember when I was younger.
I remember looking up to people.
There was never any real hero or anything that I had on any subject matter.
But I do remember this moment in my life where things sort of changed and that was when my dad couldn't answer a question for me.
When I was a little kid, I'd be like, hey dad, why is this?
And he'd give me an answer.
Why is that?
He'd give me an answer.
I remember I'd be like, hey, I have a problem with this.
And he'd be like, well, you need to do that.
I would go, oh, okay.
Hey, that worked.
And then one day when I was like 18, I was like, hey dad, this thing happened, I need help.
And he goes, I have no idea.
And I went, what?
And he was like, I don't know what you should do.
And then I was like, oh shit.
What the fuck is this all about?
ian crossland
Yeah.
robby starbuck
My dad doesn't know.
ian crossland
I've been thinking about marriage lately.
Cause like, it's just as a business decision, like, you know, dating girl and I want to like give her money.
So the best way to do that is to get married.
So it's tax deductible or whatever.
But I was like, I got to ask my dad first.
And I was like, what am I going to get out of that?
Like I, Only I can decide what I'm going to do with my life.
What is he going to tell me?
Go for it or don't do it?
tim pool
Yeah, he's going to give you advice.
ian crossland
I'm going to do what I do regardless.
robby starbuck
I would still ask.
If you have a good relationship with your dad, I would talk to him.
ian crossland
How fortunate am I to have a dad to talk to?
tim pool
Let's just stay on point.
The first thing I'll say is to respond to that is of course you ask your parents for advice on marriage.
That's obvious.
I'm talking about business.
It is a business.
ian crossland
It's a business decision.
tim pool
The point I was getting to was that there came to a point where around that time I started to realize, you know, people like Jon Stewart They're not actually, they don't actually know shit.
robby starbuck
Yeah.
tim pool
And now we're at the point, especially as I'm 36, I'm watching Andrew Sullivan, who's been around forever, and I'm like, this guy doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about at all, and he can't argue for shit.
robby starbuck
He somehow knows less than Jon Stewart does.
tim pool
And Jon Stewart is confused and asking for answers, and neither of these people did a fucking Google search!
robby starbuck
Yeah.
tim pool
That's what just blows my mind about this.
It's like, Jon, buddy, did you Google it?
robby starbuck
It's all soaked in narcissism from all ends.
You know, because if they actually cured, they'd do the most basic of research, you know?
ian crossland
It's kind of like peeling an onion, like once you start peeling in, your eyes start to burn, because it hurts to look at it.
And then you gotta keep peeling.
I don't know, it might be the cutting of the onion.
robby starbuck
That's a good way to put it.
ian crossland
It might be the cutting of the onion that causes the eyes to burn, so I don't know if the peeling metaphor works exactly.
robby starbuck
No, I think it does, because sometimes in peeling it I've gotten a little watery-eyed.
unidentified
Oh, okay.
robby starbuck
A little bit.
I might be sensitive to it, maybe, or something.
tim pool
You know, we're getting to that point.
How old are you, Robby?
unidentified
33.
tim pool
33, and you're running for Congress.
robby starbuck
Yep.
tim pool
And I'm 36.
robby starbuck
I'm a 13-year-old, too.
That's crazy.
ian crossland
Hell yeah, dude!
robby starbuck
Yeah, I got started early.
tim pool
The reality, not necessarily.
robby starbuck
I mean... Yeah, not historically.
Historically, I'm actually, wait, you know, you probably started at 18, but... A little bit, actually fairly average.
tim pool
I think it was between 20 and 22 was when people were starting families.
But...
At a certain point, and for everybody who's watching, because I know most of you are around a similar age group, yo, we are inheriting the world.
unidentified
Yep.
tim pool
There's going to come a time where I'm going to be in this position, like Jon Stewart, and people are going to be like, man, Tim Pool's a fucking shithead.
What the fuck happened to that guy?
unidentified
Maybe.
Hopefully not.
robby starbuck
Grab the reins.
Grab the reins, everybody.
Grab the reins.
Take it.
Run with it.
You got one life to live.
Live it now.
Live it wisely.
Because this is it.
You don't do everything you want to do at the end of this, and you're dead.
You have only yourself to blame that you didn't do it.
tim pool
I'm going to pull a Dylan Radigan, though.
That's my, that's my plan.
You know what he did?
ian crossland
I like that guy.
tim pool
He just bailed.
He just got the fuck out.
robby starbuck
Really?
tim pool
Yeah, he went and started doing hydroponics or something.
robby starbuck
That's admirable.
Oh, we have a friend.
ian crossland
Oh, speaking of Chinese fucking interference, that shit, these stink bugs, the brown marmaladed stink bug, apparently in 1994 or something, got introduced into Pennsylvania.
tim pool
Really?
ian crossland
And now they're an invasive species all over.
That's the fucking CCP up my ass.
tim pool
Hold on, hold on.
unidentified
No, no, no.
tim pool
Ian, stink bugs are doofy and slow.
and they taste like apples.
robby starbuck
I actually like them a lot.
Okay, so I don't like bugs.
I don't like any of that stuff usually, but we have these stink bugs all over our farm
and I cannot bring myself to kill them because I feel bad for them.
tim pool
Because they're so dumb.
robby starbuck
They're so stupid.
I just like, honestly, they're the only animal that I'll find in my house
and that is not my pet, that I don't either want to eat,
get out of my house or kill.
And in their case, I actually help them all the time where they're like in the dumbest places.
Like they're in the sink and I'm like, dude, you're gonna die, man.
And I'll be like, come on, let's flip you over He's flipped over already.
tim pool
There you go.
robby starbuck
And send them on their way.
tim pool
In summertime, there's like a thousand on the eastern exposure.
You just shake them all off into a net, throw them in the chickens.
Free chicken food.
robby starbuck
Ooh, that's a good idea.
tim pool
Chickens love these things.
Apparently stink bugs, they eat them in China.
Because they taste like apples.
robby starbuck
That's when I didn't see they do these.
They eat some weird stuff over there.
ian crossland
Oh, I think I'm gonna pass.
tim pool
No, but apparently they will fry them and chocolate cover them.
And it's like apple pie.
ian crossland
It is a good source of protein, that's for sure.
tim pool
They stink.
robby starbuck
Oh, you want us to eat the bugs?
ian crossland
Huh?
Would you eat the bugs?
Have you eaten bugs?
robby starbuck
No, I would not eat the bugs.
unidentified
No.
ian crossland
I try to make a cricket bro.
unidentified
Come on, bro.
tim pool
Shrimps are bugs.
ian crossland
Oh yeah, that's a good point.
They're not quite bugs.
unidentified
Salties.
tim pool
Saltier bugs.
robby starbuck
What are they classified as, Lydia?
tim pool
Crustaceans.
robby starbuck
Are they crustaceans?
unidentified
Arthropods.
robby starbuck
Arthropods.
See, I knew she would know.
tim pool
Lobsters and roly-polies basically is the same thing.
robby starbuck
You know what I mean?
unidentified
No.
robby starbuck
No.
Lobster, lobster, very different in my book.
I'll do lobster.
unidentified
No, no, no, no.
tim pool
I was being serious.
Roly-polies and lobsters are the same family.
robby starbuck
Yeah, but I'm not eating roly-poly.
ian crossland
Those potato bugs?
tim pool
Yeah, pill bugs or whatever they're called.
robby starbuck
I'm not eating them.
tim pool
You ever have escargot?
unidentified
No.
tim pool
Bro, escargot's legit!
robby starbuck
I don't want it.
I don't want it.
My grandma used to really like it.
She thought it was very fancy, my Cuban grandma.
It was like, that was like the delicacy.
She was like, you have to try.
tim pool
Dude, I love- But no.
It is, when you're in France, you can't walk 10 feet without being able to get some fucking snails.
And what they do is the shell is full of like garlic and oil.
unidentified
Oh.
tim pool
And they cook it, you get a little fork and you scoop it out and you put it on a piece of bread and you eat it.
robby starbuck
That sounds so gross to me.
My wife, my wife probably has done it.
She speaks French, so she probably has done it.
tim pool
It just tastes like calamari.
robby starbuck
Yeah, I don't know about that.
tim pool
I like calamari though.
robby starbuck
Maybe this is a thing where I'm cool with things that are a little bit bigger, you know, like eating them.
Maybe I'm just more of a dominant alpha than you two.
And so I want to take down a big animal, you know?
Like a bison.
I want to go take down a bison.
Yeah, I've had bison.
I want that stuff.
Giraffe.
No, I'm just kidding.
But you have a little bit, like, you're okay with eating snails, you know?
tim pool
Well, yeah, because, you know, the masculine energy in me recognizes the need for survival, and your weak effeminate taste buds... This is the future of evolution.
unidentified
Hey, look, look, look.
robby starbuck
We're having the future evolutionary fight here to figure out who the... Only the adaptable will survive.
Who's the metaverse alpha?
unidentified
The virgin won't eat bugs versus the chad bug eater.
robby starbuck
That would never happen.
The Chad is the non-bug eater.
tim pool
No, no, no.
The virgin won't eat bugs, dies in the apocalypse, and the Chad bug eater is all ripped and buff and gone.
ian crossland
This is so wrong.
robby starbuck
Can we throw up a poll, Lydia?
Is there a poll for this?
Because I think the Chad always refuses to eat the bugs.
ian crossland
Bugs or not.
robby starbuck
Yes!
See, the poll says I'm correct.
That's correct, there you go.
I'm the Chad.
Lydia just called you a virgin.
tim pool
A man would eat bark to survive.
He would bite a tree and be like, I ain't dying here!
robby starbuck
No, a man would need to eat bark to live.
tim pool
They eat goats, but they won't eat dogs.
robby starbuck
Lydia's on my team again!
tim pool
The plane carrying the fucking guys who killed Osama Bin Laden blows up because the terrorists get it.
And these guys, these guys falling from the sky land in the middle of the woods.
Superhero pose without parachutes.
And then they're like, we're in the middle of nowhere.
We need food.
Let's just eat what we can eat.
They start fucking just eating everything.
They're grabbing rabbits and just biting it.
They're eating.
robby starbuck
Rabbits, yes.
Rabbits, yes.
Not snails.
They're grabbing chunks.
unidentified
They're not going, oh yeah, Robert, grab the snails, though.
tim pool
They're grabbing chunks of wood and eating it, and then the virgin non-bug eater is going, but I don't wanna eat that.
robby starbuck
No.
No, no, no.
These guys are so manly, they're not even hungry, because as the plane was going down, they ate the plane, okay?
tim pool
They ate air.
robby starbuck
They ate the plane.
tim pool
They're biting air.
robby starbuck
Yes.
ian crossland
There's a lot of carbon in that carbon dioxide.
robby starbuck
Yes, there is.
tim pool
They compress air to pull the carbon out of it and then turn it into pure energy.
Yeah, and their bodies can turn that pure carbon into sugar just because, you know, sunlight or whatever.
ian crossland
Yeah, that makes sense.
tim pool
No, I eat bugs.
Yeah, I eat a lot of shit.
ian crossland
I'm open to it.
You can eat cows, and you can eat all these bloody meat things, puss pockets, but you can't eat a dog.
And I'm like, why?
You can't eat dogs.
robby starbuck
Because they're family.
ian crossland
Yeah, don't eat a dog.
Because that one's different.
I'm like, that's all meat, dude.
tim pool
Because dogs can smell it.
ian crossland
Oh, if you eat a dog, another dog will smell your body.
tim pool
And they'll attack you.
robby starbuck
Find me a cow that can sniff out cancer and I'll stop eating them, okay?
So the ones that can sniff out feel for those cows.
tim pool
This is, I guess you'd call it urban legend or whatever, but the urban legend or hypothesis or whatever is that,
you know, dogs can smell cancer.
They can smell seizures.
They can smell strokes.
And so the idea is that if you've ever eaten a dog, the dog can smell you've eaten dog and will like always just not trust you or growl at you.
And so for societies that depended upon dogs for hunting, you could not eat the dog because the dogs wouldn't work with you then because they'd be like, you're a bad guy.
robby starbuck
I believe that one.
tim pool
Oh, yeah.
robby starbuck
I believe that without knowing anything about it.
Totally.
ian crossland
Cats too?
You think cats?
tim pool
No.
robby starbuck
Cats are terrorists.
They don't know anything.
tim pool
No, they're legit invasive species.
They mimic babies crying and they have big eyes so that we just take care of them.
Yeah, the story of dog domestication is like humans and wolves slowly cohabitated more and more and then hunted together to attack bigger game and survive.
robby starbuck
Two hunters joined together for a more perfect union.
tim pool
And cats are an invasive species that we tolerate.
ian crossland
I think the cats helped us hunt mammoths on the African savanna at some point by slicing the back of their tentacles.
robby starbuck
That's entirely made up.
ian crossland
Because if you think about the cavemen and the cats, the war elephants dominated the savanna for a while.
tim pool
A fucking cat is not going to slice anybody.
ian crossland
The cat can attack the back of the back legs of the elephants, cutting their Achilles tendons and then making them fall down.
And then the humans can come with spears and finish off the elephants.
robby starbuck
This idea is making me want to throw a cat at you.
tim pool
That's like the same bullshit you made up.
ian crossland
I think that they were old partners in the Savannah.
unidentified
No.
ian crossland
They built the Sphinx.
They carved it in reverence for a cat.
tim pool
Yes, just like we have photos of cats on Reddit.
It doesn't mean we worship them.
You know why cats don't have whites?
You can't see the whites of a cat's eyes?
Because they're solitary hunters.
The reason you can see a dog's, the whites of their eyes, is because pack hunters, like humans, need to be able to determine where the other person is looking.
So when wolves are hunting, the wolves looking up to the alpha, which is typically the father, look to where his eyes are moving so they know what he's looking at.
In fact, dogs are the only other animal that know what pointing means.
That's why when you point to a cat, the cat just sniffs your finger.
Because cats did not hunt, bro.
robby starbuck
They didn't.
ian crossland
I mean, they're hunters by nature.
They did hunt, whether or not they were with humans or not.
tim pool
Solitary, not as a pet.
Solitary carnivores.
robby starbuck
Yeah, not as a pet.
tim pool
They're ambush predators.
robby starbuck
They never worked with us.
tim pool
They're ambush predators, which means they hide in the shadows and they take the opportunity.
ian crossland
Maybe what happened is they would kill the elephants and then the humans would go feast off the carcasses, because humans were scavengers.
No, no, no!
Humans, for their history, were scavengers.
unidentified
Read a book!
Read a book!
tim pool
Read a mother!
Humans were endurance hunters.
ian crossland
Dude, I'm talking about way back, man.
unidentified
Yes.
tim pool
They were... Okay, let me, let me, let me take it.
ian crossland
Before tools and stuff, we were scavengers.
unidentified
Before tools.
tim pool
No, we weren't.
ian crossland
Yeah, we were like vultures, dude.
unidentified
No!
robby starbuck
We still had, we still had stronger muscles than most animals on Earth.
Endurance hunters.
ian crossland
Wait a minute.
tim pool
The reason why humans don't have hair and we are bipedal is because we can run for, for 50 plus miles and an ungulate cannot.
robby starbuck
Entire amount.
tim pool
Hoven-ferred animals would become hot and collapse due to heat exhaustion, and the human would just trot, like Pepe Le Pew, with no hair, so the water was evaporating, allowing humans to outlast.
robby starbuck
And they were ripped.
ian crossland
So I'm referencing history.com.
Early humans may have scavenged more than hunted.
unidentified
Lies.
ian crossland
Could be wrong, but this is what I'm referencing.
unidentified
No, no, no.
tim pool
Okay, okay.
If you want to talk about humans are hunters and gatherers.
Of course, of course.
ian crossland
They were scavengers.
tim pool
Humans were endurance hunters, and we were coastal because we would fish.
When it came to hunting wild creatures, humans, the reason we don't have hair is because we don't overheat.
We can run for a long time.
So we hunt.
robby starbuck
I think you're thinking of the libs back then.
You know, like maybe they were scavengers.
They buried us until they died.
ian crossland
They're very good at using as little energy as they have to.
People are great about waiting until you absolutely have to do anything.
We all know that, obviously.
And I think that's why they scavenge.
They'd let the other animals make the kill and then they'd go get the food.
tim pool
I think you're referencing a single article.
ian crossland
Yeah, this was from a few years ago, research that I was reading.
tim pool
When you ask simple questions like, out of all of the animals, why are humans hairless?
Like, obviously not completely hair on your head.
You guys do, I don't.
But you know, most people have hair a little bit on their body.
Endurance hunting.
That's just like a logical conclusion.
Humans evolved hunting.
We have teeth for eating grains and eating meat.
This is what we do.
And it's fish for the most part.
Fish is like a principal portion of our diet.
That's why humans are always on the coast.
And it helped our brains grow big.
But then when it came to hunting down big game, we would just pepe le pew, just trotting along.
So the thing about like the cheetah for instance, it can't run that long.
Because it overheats instantly.
Furry and quadrupedal, hard for the heat to escape the body.
So it can sprint, boom, like a shotgun blast, catch that animal.
Gazelles and other deer and things like that, hogs, also bipedal, typically hairy.
And so they can run, but they overheat so quick, what happens is, and you seriously watch videos of this, they plop out and spread their body wide, desperately trying to get cool from the ground.
You'll see cats, you'll see squirrels do it.
Humans don't lay on the ground like that.
We just sweat, and it evaporates, taking the heat away.
This means we can, like, if you ever, if you ever, you just, you can just watch a video of it.
It's fascinating shit.
Anyway.
robby starbuck
History Channel, everybody knows, is only good for information about ancient aliens.
And secondly, have you guys ever seen Chuck Grassley's War with the History Channel?
unidentified
No.
robby starbuck
Okay, so this dude, people watching probably know about this.
He's had a long-term war with the History Channel where he tweets about it every time he wants to watch stuff about history and how angry he is that they don't play history.
And it's been this hilarious, weird, long-term thing where he complains on his Twitter account about the History Channel.
So you've got to, like, catch yourselves up on this, but it's pretty funny.
tim pool
It sounds like something I'll check out.
ian crossland
Who owns the History Channel?
tim pool
I don't know, A&E or Hearst or something.
robby starbuck
And he's like 100 years old.
tim pool
We'll wrap it up there, Robbie.
It's been a blast.
Thanks for hanging out, man.
robby starbuck
Thank you.
I love you guys.
Best show.
tim pool
Definitely gotta have you back, and good luck in your... You guys are coming to Nashville, so... Yep, we'll see you, man.
robby starbuck
If you guys are in class, you'll call me while you're there.
tim pool
Well, we got two weekends there.
We've got Saturday and Sunday, and then we gotta leave the following weekend Sunday, but we'll be there for a Saturday, so... Awesome.
Right on.
Alright, everybody.
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