The Golden One - Marcus Follin - Lessons From My Depression
Aired: 2025-11-13
Duration: 17:04

[00:00:00]  Alright, as you see in the title, I want to share a few insights, a few lessons from my depression.
[00:00:07]  Yes, it pains me to admit that I've been depressed this year.
[00:00:12]  Now, this isn't something I admit lightly.
[00:00:14]  I'm doing it so that hopefully I can share some enlightenment that will help you if you end up in a situation so that you can keep my insights in mind as you try to stave off the situation before it deteriorates.
[00:00:32]  Because that is something you can view it as that you sort of either you have a forward momentum in life or you stagnate and then you start to you know spiral down so you want to halt the downward spiral as soon as possible otherwise it will be worse.
[00:00:50]  So something important to keep in mind when we're talking about this downwards spiral is that your thoughts they can literally shape patterns in your brain.
[00:01:02]  So if you think a thought often enough it will be like a river.
[00:01:07]  You know when a river is formed it goes you know in a landscape and it sort of forms the river and then more water can come there.
[00:01:15]  So you can think the same way when it comes to thoughts.
[00:01:18]  So if you have certain thoughts that will reinforce similar thoughts and this can be something good and this can be something bad.
[00:01:27]  So, when we're talking about such a thing as a depression, you want to halt it as soon as possible, so that your thoughts, the riverbed, as it were, it doesn't get deeper, it doesn't get, it doesn't facilitate the the flow of more bad thoughts, so to speak.
[00:01:46]  So instead, you want to, you know, try to redirect the thoughts as much as possible.
[00:01:51]  Now, in my particular case, I encourage you to listen to or watch my video titled I messed up, so you get the background for my own bad situation.
[00:02:03]  So yeah, I'm not gonna repeat what I said there, but I reached a low point when I was in the car and I thought to myself, I wouldn't care if I crashed now.
[00:02:13]  Now, very important to keep in mind, this was a thought.
[00:02:17]  You are, not your thoughts, and I would never, ever entertain doing anything irresponsible Responsible because I have many duties to attend to,
[00:02:26]  so I would never entertain any such thought.
[00:02:30]  So, when the thought came to me, I analyzed it, I contemplated why on earth such a thought would come to me.
[00:02:37]  But anyway, I viewed it as a sign that something is not quite right.
[00:02:42]  So, that was the moment I understood that I was not in a good place mentally.
[00:02:48]  Now, to recap some things I've said in other videos as well, I've lived under the Damocles sword for like 10 years.
[00:02:56]  Every single day waking up, not knowing what sort of thing will hit me today, and especially this year, especially earlier this year was a period where every single day waking up with anxiety for you know,
[00:03:10]  there will be something hitting me today.
[00:03:12]  I don't know what, but it will be some sort of bad news.
[00:03:14]  And I could keep it up in previous years quite well.
[00:03:18]  You know, I've been hit with many different things over all of these years.
[00:03:22]  I could take it, you know, and keep moving forward because I had a good momentum.
[00:03:28]  But this particular year, it was just too much.
[00:03:30]  It was too much for me to keep forward momentum.
[00:03:34]  So, it was just being you know hammered with blows from every direction, and it was too much.
[00:03:40]  It was too much.
[00:03:41]  So, then I started to feel quite bad, quite bad indeed.
[00:03:45]  So, a lot of stress, a lot of bad news, a lot of bad things happening.
[00:03:49]  And again, this comes after a long period, many, many years of a lot of stress.
[00:03:55]  Stress I could handle with you know, in a good way, if I may say so myself, but now it simply became too much.
[00:04:06]  And also, if I analyze the situation, didn't really do many stimulating things either, so it was only just taking a long beating for a long time.
[00:04:18]  So, that is basically what happened.
[00:04:20]  That is basically where I was at mentally.
[00:04:24]  I feel better now, still not super good.
[00:04:27]  I can't really sleep all too well because I'm still stressed and everything like that.
[00:04:30]  But I don't feel as bad anymore.
[00:04:34]  Now, anyway, some lessons I have learned.
[00:04:37]  First and foremost, perhaps the biggest lesson is that you do want to halt your thoughts so they don't deepen or broaden the riverbed so that more thoughts don't follow.
[00:04:54]  So, as Julius Evola shares in one of his books, a very profound teaching about being the master of your thoughts so that you can actually steer your thoughts yourself.
[00:05:06]  Now, this is it sounds easy to steer your own thoughts, but it can be really, really hard if you are in that situation when bad thoughts come to you, when you hear thoughts saying to you that it's over, that bad things will happen,
[00:05:20]  and especially if bad things keep on happening.
[00:05:23]  Sort of reality reinforces your, your negative thoughts.
[00:05:26]  So it can be quite hard to utilize the stitching in live, so to speak.
[00:05:34]  But you can try it.
[00:05:35]  At least I've tried it as well.
[00:05:37]  I do try to steer my thoughts in a better direction, so you can always try to think about what you're grateful for.
[00:05:45]  So now I'm thinking about you.
[00:05:46]  Know I'm grateful for you.
[00:05:49]  Know I can talk, I can walk, I can use my hands, my eyes, my mind is still sharp, my body is healthy, my family is healthy.
[00:06:00]  So I steer my thoughts, I think those thoughts, and that will reinforce positive thoughts.
[00:06:06]  So I can decide which river to broaden, to deepen.
[00:06:11]  Yes, I want to deepen and broaden the river that flows with positive thoughts.
[00:06:17]  So easy in theory, hard in practice, very hard in practice, especially if bad thoughts come to you, you can't sleep, you're stressed, you are in that situation.
[00:06:29]  But you can try it at least.
[00:06:30]  And also of course, needless to say, don't show it to anyone who doesn't need to know.
[00:06:36]  I'm making this video now.
[00:06:38]  Sure, I'm admitting to some weakness, but I'm doing it so I'm doing it for a good cause at least so that I can hopefully share some good advice if you end up in this situation.
[00:06:51]  So otherwise you don't need to do it.
[00:06:52]  And of course you should never show it to if you have children or anything like that.
[00:06:56]  So you should keep a good face and soldier on.
[00:07:03]  And also of course what I did, I didn't miss a day of anything.
[00:07:06]  I didn't...
[00:07:07]  Well, I did feel sorry for myself, but I didn't let that interfere with anything that needed to be done.
[00:07:13]  So the last thing you want to do is to, you know, go around like this to not engage with life.
[00:07:21]  So always do everything you need to do.
[00:07:24]  Do your duties, your work, train as much as possible if you can.
[00:07:29]  That will help, you know, hormonally speaking as well that you get nice endorphins and stuff like that.
[00:07:37]  So and also if you do start to skip your duties, then that will also be a way for you to spiral downwards.
[00:07:46]  But instead, if you do your work, you do small accomplishments each day, you do train, you do small things, those are victories that will actually push you up again.
[00:07:57]  So you get a small momentum.
[00:07:59]  So that is what I did.
[00:08:00]  I'm happy I didn't feel so bad that I stopped doing certain things.
[00:08:06]  Now I will say also that if you know yourself that you haven't really done anything fun for a long time and I caught myself here as well.
[00:08:14]  Thought when was the last time I did something that didn't have to do with some sort of chore or work or stress or whatever it might be.
[00:08:23]  So think about that as well.
[00:08:25]  That if you don't do anything stimulating for a long time, yes, it might not be super complicated to understand that you might end up feeling bad with yourself.
[00:08:38]  So that is something to keep in mind and spend time with others.
[00:08:42]  You don't want to be alone.
[00:08:43]  That's also a recipe for disaster.
[00:08:46]  So if you seclude yourself from the world, from life, you know, humans are social creatures.
[00:08:53]  Everyone needs company.
[00:08:55]  And if you're a man, you need to spend time with other men.
[00:08:58]  If you don't, then you will be more stressed.
[00:09:01]  You're not meant to face the hardships of life yourself.
[00:09:05]  You're supposed to have brothers at your side who can keep you up.
[00:09:10]  And you can notice this as well.
[00:09:13]  Actually, if you feel a bit down and then you spend time in good company, doing whatever, going to the sauna or whatever it might be, you'll feel happier after.
[00:09:21]  So that's also a lesson you can keep in mind that you do want to spend time with your mates.
[00:09:28]  And also, in terms of mentality, how you view such a situation is that the only way past the bad period is to go through it.
[00:09:40]  So it's not to go back, it's not to escape, you simply have to bite down and to push through.
[00:09:46]  Because otherwise, you might end up in a bad situation where you want to escape.
[00:09:54]  You want to escape life and therefore you don't deal with whatever you need to deal with, and then you will only be in a much worse situation.
[00:10:01]  So face the issues head on, confront your issues as soon as possible, as soon as you encounter them, so that you don't postpone it because it will not be easier later on.
[00:10:15]  And if you do encounter an issue and if you solve it immediately, you will get a small victory in your mind.
[00:10:22]  So what you want to do is to build the momentum in your mind, victory after victory.
[00:10:29]  That's the first thing you want to do.
[00:10:32]  The last thing you want to do is to be passive, to just take a beating without hitting back.
[00:10:37]  You don't want to stand still because when you stand still, you will slowly sink into a dark pit of despair.
[00:10:46]  So be proactive.
[00:10:48]  And then, of course, something to keep in mind is that this can happen.
[00:10:53]  It happened to me.
[00:10:54]  I didn't think it would happen to me as enlightened and powerful mentally as I am.
[00:11:00]  So I'm quite thankful that I knew many of these things beforehand.
[00:11:03]  That you know, the power of the mind and everything like that.
[00:11:08]  Hadn't I known and had I been in this situation, maybe I would have felt even worse.
[00:11:12]  But now I could at least.
[00:11:14]  Bad situation, but I could get out from it.
[00:11:16]  Now, of course, when you go through bad times like this, you can utilize a little bit of good old stoicism.
[00:11:24]  Stoicism coupled with a certain sense of aggression.
[00:11:28]  And when I say aggression, I mean it in the sense that, as I just mentioned, that you should confront every problem as soon as possible.
[00:11:37]  So you don't let them linger and linger and gain strength so that you deal with it as soon as possible.
[00:11:46]  And yeah, you can also try to occupy your mind with something that is stimulating again, so you don't reinforce the bad thought patterns, because that is again, perhaps the most vital insight here is to not obsess over your thoughts, to not beat yourself up and to keep in mind here as well that you are not your thoughts.
[00:12:12]  Your thoughts can come from wherever.
[00:12:14]  So you can view it as a, you know, a demon or whatever you know sending you bad thoughts as a way to attack you.
[00:12:22]  So when you have a bad thought saying that it's over, counter that bad thought with a thought of your own, saying that you will fight to the bitter end to achieve your goals.
[00:12:33]  So for me, for example, if I feel my company being threatened, I can, you know, acknowledge that it's a bad situation and my response is then to fight until the bitter end or until I manage to turn things around.
[00:12:53]  So that's approaching it in a high summer way that you counter all of these bad thoughts with with thoughts of your own.
[00:13:02]  So view it in that sense that someone can, you know, send almost like an attack.
[00:13:08]  If we LARP a bit, if we schizomax a bit, you can view it as a, as a demonic attack, because after all the you can produce thoughts.
[00:13:18]  Thoughts can come to you.
[00:13:19]  It's a very complicated topic talking about thoughts, but if you make the distinction between a benevolent thought, that be that is being sent by a benevolent source, it's good, something you can embrace.
[00:13:34]  If a bad thought comes to you, then you can acknowledge it, of course.
[00:13:39]  You can analyze it, you can say and ask yourself, where does it come from, what does it mean?
[00:13:45]  But then you can also view it when it comes to a repeating thought.
[00:13:51]  That's an attack.
[00:13:52]  So first, if a certain thought comes to you yeah, think about it.
[00:13:57]  But if it becomes like a almost like a self-harm thought pattern, then you have, You can view it as an attack,
[00:14:05]  simply put, from whatever entity you deem it reasonable to call it.
[00:14:12]  But at the risk of repeating myself, try to stop these bad thought patterns as soon as possible.
[00:14:20]  So anyway, to conclude, aside from that, the main point, stay on top of everything.
[00:14:28]  Don't outsource your stress to others.
[00:14:31]  You as a man you have to deal with it yourself.
[00:14:33]  You have to overcome that yourself.
[00:14:36]  Spend time with others, with other men.
[00:14:39]  Do fun things also.
[00:14:41]  Now, of course, time is of the essence for everyone.
[00:14:43]  Everyone has to work 24-7 in this dreary economy, so no one really has the time to do much fun, but it is what it is.
[00:14:52]  Try to at least do something once a month, or I don't know.
[00:14:57]  Depends on your schedule, of course.
[00:15:00]  So and then also train.
[00:15:04]  Try to keep a good training schedule so that you know get the nice hormones after training and that you stay on top of that momentum at least.
[00:15:14]  And then when you are out of the depression or the bad period, you have at least you don't need to restart on these things.
[00:15:21]  And if you've stayed on top of your work as well, then yeah, you can just resume with a better attitude.
[00:15:28]  So don't let the depression win over you.
[00:15:32]  The way a depression can win over you or a demon can win over you if you want to use that terminology is when you stop going forward.
[00:15:41]  And again, in my case, it was hard to keep a good momentum, but I've at least taken care of business and done everything I need to do.
[00:15:50]  And now I've started on my third book, which is going well.
[00:15:53]  So yeah, I'll continue doing that.
[00:15:56]  I might do the following over Christmas to take a break from writing the book.
[00:16:01]  Perhaps I'll paint some Warhammer, spend some time with the family and everything like that.
[00:16:06]  And hopefully that will restore my levels of joy even more.
[00:16:11]  And of course, Julia and I went to Gotland for a few days in summer as well, and that was very needed indeed.
[00:16:17]  So that really recharged my spirit.
[00:16:21]  So anyway, I hope that was somewhat insightful.
[00:16:23]  And if you struggle with some sort of depression, do try to keep these things in mind and view it as a mental battle also.
[00:16:31]  Do try to steer your thoughts in a good direction so that the positive patterns are reinforced.
[00:16:39]  So that the river of positive thoughts that is being deepened and broadened.
[00:16:44]  So anyway, head over to leggygloria.com, place a massive order, especially as I've said in a few videos, recent videos, the Ulrus undergarments.
[00:16:55]  Perfect for autumn and winter.
[00:16:58]  So yes, anyway, thank you for watching and thank you for your support.
[00:17:03]  XXO.
[00:17:04]  Boom.