The Golden One - Marcus Follin - Advice For Fathers-To-Be
Aired: 2023-05-09
Duration: 06:22


=== Advice For Future Dads (06:00) ===

[00:00:00]  Greetings, my esteemed subscribing tons.
[00:00:04]  Thank you all kindly for your well wishes on the birth of our second daughter.
[00:00:09]  Now, I just thought to check in to give an update on everything and give some advice to fathers to be.
[00:00:16]  Now, first and foremost, I want to give a shout-out to the midwives of BBS Stockholm in case you see this.
[00:00:24]  Very good and professional.
[00:00:26]  I have said that the Swedish healthcare system isn't the best, but the midwives are an exception.
[00:00:34]  So, very good stuff indeed.
[00:00:36]  I also want to give a shout-out to my lovely wife.
[00:00:39]  Of course, she planned everything perfectly and executed the plan perfectly as well.
[00:00:47]  You can almost analyze the entire thing as an athletic competition of sorts where you plan beforehand and then you go in and execute a plan.
[00:00:57]  Really nice to see, and of course, it's yeah, it was quite an emotional experience, the birth itself.
[00:01:03]  So, great stuff, everything went well, and yeah, I am very happy in that regard.
[00:01:11]  So, all is well.
[00:01:13]  Now, anyway, there are, of course, many guys who are more qualified to give advice on fatherhood and everything like that.
[00:01:22]  But I promised a few supporters that I would make this video.
[00:01:27]  So, here we are.
[00:01:29]  Now, basically, you can't really get ready.
[00:01:33]  So, if you ask how do you get ready for fatherhood, you can't really get ready.
[00:01:38]  You just have to wait with crossing that bridge when you reach it, so to speak.
[00:01:45]  So, it's not something you can theorize all too much about.
[00:01:50]  You just have to view it as a learning experience.
[00:01:54]  You learn something every day, and then, of course, if it's your second child or third child, or so on, it becomes easier.
[00:02:03]  But the first time, don't worry too much about knowing everything beforehand because ultimately you just have to learn by experience.
[00:02:12]  It's not something you can be ready for beforehand.
[00:02:15]  You get ready as you go.
[00:02:17]  So, keep that in mind.
[00:02:18]  So, don't be stressed that you don't know this, you don't know that.
[00:02:23]  How do you do this?
[00:02:25]  View it as starting a new job or something.
[00:02:28]  Might sound a bit unromantic, but it's basically what it is.
[00:02:31]  It's a new, very lovely, very rewarding job you take on.
[00:02:38]  Now, also, leading up to the birth itself, perhaps you are a bit nervous again because you don't know everything.
[00:02:47]  That's completely fine.
[00:02:49]  I would say that a good thing to reduce nervousness is to be, you know, stay active with whatever else you're doing.
[00:02:57]  So, for me, I've been very occupied with writing my second book and, of course, taking care of my wife.
[00:03:05]  So, I haven't really had the time to be nervous in that regard.
[00:03:10]  Which also leads me into my second main point, and that is taking care of your wife when she is pregnant and postpartum.
[00:03:21]  Now, usually, you should, of course, put your own mission first and focus on that.
[00:03:25]  And the mission usually includes taking care of your wife in the long term, so to provide and protect.
[00:03:35]  But when it comes to the late stages of pregnancy and the early stages of postpartum, you sort of have to, if possible, turn down the pace a bit on your own mission to care more for her.
[00:03:52]  So this has been quite easy for me because my lovely wife, she's always so supportive of me, making sure that I can focus on my stuff or the greater goal at hand.
[00:04:02]  So now it's been easy for me to simply return the favor to try to be as supportive of her as possible.
[00:04:10]  Then of course motherhood, birth, everything like this, it's a female mystery.
[00:04:16]  So there is only so much a man can do.
[00:04:19]  You can only play a supporting role and the main main player of this drama is of course the woman.
[00:04:28]  So there's only so much you can do.
[00:04:31]  Then, of course, when it comes to fatherhood itself and this is a video for another time might make one.
[00:04:42]  You know your child is a reflection of yourself.
[00:04:45]  So if you want a calm child, you need to be a calm parent.
[00:04:48]  You can't lose your temper.
[00:04:50]  It's okay if you do.
[00:04:52]  I think every father has at some stage lost his temper.
[00:04:56]  But when you recognize that as a, as a weakness in yourself, then you can sort of hammer away at that weakness to bring out the alchemical gold inside of yourself to become a better person.
[00:05:08]  So you can view fatherhood also as a, as a challenge to become the best that you can be to.
[00:05:15]  You know, be calm and patient and everything like that.
[00:05:18]  So an agitated parent is an agitated child, a calm parent a calm child.
[00:05:24]  So view it as a continuous learning experience and all will be well.
[00:05:28]  So all that said for all fathers to be best of luck and don't worry beforehand, don't worry about knowing everything.
[00:05:37]  Things will, pieces will fall into place in the puzzle of knowledge, of fatherly knowledge.
[00:05:43]  And yeah, just view it as a learning experience, one day at a time, and try to be as supportive of your wife as possible, Because he really needs it during the later stages of pregnancy and especially postpartum, because he needs to recover.

=== Continuous Learning Journey (00:21) ===

[00:06:01]  So, anyway, I will check in with you with a channel update in a week or so.
[00:06:06]  And when I'm done with my book, I promise that I will give more attention and love to the video making.
[00:06:13]  I have actually missed it quite a bit focusing on the videos.
[00:06:17]  So, I have some plans in that regard.
[00:06:19]  Stay tuned, and thank you again for all of your well wishes.