True Capitalist Radio - TGS0138
Aired: 2023-01-15
Duration: 29:57


=== Chat Room Martial Law (14:13) ===

[00:00:05]  God damn it, you son of a bitch, man!
[00:00:08]  Shut the fuck up!
[00:00:09]  Pause that shit!
[00:00:10]  Shut up with the dyslexic shit!
[00:00:12]  All right, you know what?
[00:00:13]  I'm implementing chat room martial law, you fucking piece of crap.
[00:00:16]  Y'all want to fuck with me?
[00:00:18]  You all want to fuck with me?
[00:00:19]  All right, that's it.
[00:00:21]  That's it, you fucking piece of shit.
[00:00:24]  You all want to fuck with me?
[00:00:26]  All right, this is it.
[00:00:27]  We're fucking all right, fucking make it fucking fucking here.
[00:00:32]  This is it.
[00:00:33]  Implement it now.
[00:00:35]  Implement it now, engineer.
[00:00:40]  You're goddamn right.
[00:00:42]  You goddamn right.
[00:00:43]  Now you can send a message every 300 seconds and just sit there and shut up, you son of a bitch.
[00:00:50]  Don't you dare call me dyslexic again.
[00:00:53]  You sorry sex of crap.
[00:00:55]  All right?
[00:00:56]  Just sit there and shut up and like it and eat it.
[00:01:01]  Eat it.
[00:01:02]  Public service announcement on how to properly conduct butt sex.
[00:01:08]  Is that it?
[00:01:09]  Look at these people.
[00:01:09]  Yes, yes, we need to go.
[00:01:11]  All right, here we go.
[00:01:12]  Let's go ahead and we're getting into surprise butt sex talk.
[00:01:17]  All right now, first and foremost, for all you folks that are out there, because there's probably many of you neckbeard incel forever alone jerk dicks that ain't never gonna get a woman because you're slovenly, you're ugly, you have no personality, you're introverts, you smell, you're dirty.
[00:01:34]  All right?
[00:01:36]  No, let's raid Bjorn.
[00:01:38]  Let's raid Bjorn.
[00:01:39]  Why raid Bjorn?
[00:01:41]  What's Bjorn doing?
[00:01:42]  Let's see what the hell Bjorn's doing.
[00:01:44]  What is Bjorn doing?
[00:01:47]  Hey, there's Bjorn.
[00:01:49]  He's in the hotel.
[00:01:50]  What's going on to Bjorn?
[00:01:51]  I still haven't forgotten you talking garbage to me, man.
[00:01:55]  All right.
[00:01:56]  I thought we were cool.
[00:01:57]  I thought we were down.
[00:01:58]  I thought we were like this.
[00:02:00]  And then you came over and you talk garbage to me.
[00:02:03]  You say that I'm a groomer and that I molest children or some shit.
[00:02:07]  And I'm telling you, I got my lawyer, Sheklestein Noseberg.
[00:02:10]  I love having the soyboy naming himself after Ghost's imaginary dick so mind-fucked that he had to scramble for almost Anton LeVay.
[00:02:18]  All right, go fuck off.
[00:02:20]  Stay mad, cousin fucker star of David.
[00:02:24]  Go fuck off.
[00:02:25]  Star of David wheelchair symbol.
[00:02:27]  Yeah, go fuck off, you idiot.
[00:02:28]  All right.
[00:02:29]  Go fuck.
[00:02:30]  Go put it back.
[00:02:31]  What, Captain Hook?
[00:02:33]  It's good that you remember this intensive research.
[00:02:37]  Did y'all mean to talk about butt sex?
[00:02:38]  Hold on.
[00:02:39]  Let me check out Bjorn here for a second.
[00:02:41]  Let me check out Bjorn.
[00:02:42]  What Bjorn's doing?
[00:02:45]  Here he is.
[00:02:45]  He's in the hotel.
[00:02:47]  All right.
[00:02:47]  I know that Bjorn has been rather sick as of late, so I hope that you get better, Bjorn, even though you talk mad garbage about me.
[00:02:55]  I mean, good God, man.
[00:02:56]  All I've ever been was fucking nice to Bjorn.
[00:02:59]  And then you fucking cut me off at the past.
[00:03:02]  He cut me off at the past, man.
[00:03:06]  Jesus Christ.
[00:03:08]  I don't even know what I'm doing.
[00:03:10]  I'm over here.
[00:03:11]  I never talked bad about you.
[00:03:13]  You did.
[00:03:14]  What are you talking about?
[00:03:15]  I saw an IP too!
[00:03:23]  I mean, good God.
[00:03:26]  Ah, god damn it, man.
[00:03:29]  I saw it on IP2, man.
[00:03:33]  Jesus Christ.
[00:03:34]  And you know something, Bjorn?
[00:03:36]  That fucking hurt me, man.
[00:03:38]  When you talk shit to me, it fucking hurt.
[00:03:41]  You fucking took a knife and you fucking cut me.
[00:03:44]  And you cut me deep.
[00:03:46]  And it fucking hurt, man.
[00:03:48]  It fucking hurt.
[00:03:51]  I extended my hand to you.
[00:03:53]  Of course, with a rubber glove on it now, because you got the coronavirus.
[00:03:56]  But I extended my fucking hand to you in friendship, and you cut me!
[00:04:01]  You cut me, man!
[00:04:04]  What is it?
[00:04:05]  Somebody donated here.
[00:04:09]  Who the hell is Yin Sid?
[00:04:11]  Who the hell is this scumbag?
[00:04:13]  Just as long as you love him.
[00:04:16]  Can you shut up?
[00:04:17]  All right, enough of this new age hooey.
[00:04:20]  All right, let's listen to Bjorn here.
[00:04:22]  I'm sorry.
[00:04:24]  I didn't mean that.
[00:04:25]  You didn't mean it!
[00:04:26]  You fucking cut me, man!
[00:04:28]  You fucking cut me worse than these fucking trolls out here, and they put it on IP2!
[00:04:33]  They put it on IP2 and they were making a fucking jackass out of me, man!
[00:04:37]  They were making a jackass out of me!
[00:04:41]  When the streamer finally acknowledges his teaching, just move on.
[00:04:45]  I am sorry.
[00:04:47]  Look, okay, I don't know if I accept your apology, but by God, man, I'm still fucking hurt, man.
[00:04:53]  That fucking hurt me right here in the right in the heart.
[00:04:58]  It hurt me right in the fucking heart.
[00:05:01]  Listen to me.
[00:05:02]  Oh, Christ.
[00:05:04]  I didn't mean it.
[00:05:05]  You have never done anything wrong.
[00:05:07]  I know I haven't.
[00:05:09]  I know.
[00:05:10]  So it was very bad of me to say that.
[00:05:12]  I'm so sorry.
[00:05:13]  Can you forgive me?
[00:05:15]  Oh, God.
[00:05:17]  Oh, man.
[00:05:18]  Joe Rogan is a big critical cunt.
[00:05:21]  I gotta think about it, Bjorn.
[00:05:24]  What is it, Brooke412?
[00:05:28]  No disrespect, Ghost.
[00:05:30]  You know I've been a fan of you since 2012, but DV, Tim's shows are incredible.
[00:05:35]  Well, I don't know.
[00:05:36]  I don't know who the hell you're talking about, but you know, whatever.
[00:05:39]  But Bjorn has said he was sorry, okay?
[00:05:44]  And I'm not too sure if I forgive him.
[00:05:46]  Let's listen to the chat.
[00:05:47]  Let the chat make me have the decision.
[00:05:51]  Put one in the chat if I should befriend Bjorn and forgive him for all the bad things that he's done.
[00:05:58]  And summize it to him being drunk.
[00:06:01]  Put one in the chat.
[00:06:02]  Put one in the fucking chat.
[00:06:07]  All right, look, I'm getting ones in the chat right now.
[00:06:09]  Make me have the decision.
[00:06:11]  All right, all right, look.
[00:06:13]  Let me calm down, all right?
[00:06:14]  I'm a forgiving man, Bjorn.
[00:06:17]  I mean, if anybody who is listening to me, you know that I'm a very forgiven man, but like, well, hold on.
[00:06:23]  I got a dono here.
[00:06:24]  What is it?
[00:06:25]  What is it, Z Nord?
[00:06:28]  now it can all be yours again if you only i don't know what this idiot's talking about All right?
[00:06:34]  But I'm telling you right now, there, Bjorn, I'm a forgiving man, okay?
[00:06:37]  I'm a what?
[00:06:38]  Who keeps donating?
[00:06:40]  Red Eyes Black Dragon kiss and make up with Bjorn.
[00:06:44]  Look, they're telling me to kiss and make up with Bjorn.
[00:06:46]  Look, look, look.
[00:06:47]  The bottom line is this, okay?
[00:06:50]  All right, I'll forgive Bjorn, but I'm telling you right now, in the words of George W. Bush, fool me once, shame on you.
[00:07:01]  Fool me twice.
[00:07:04]  Never get fooled again.
[00:07:05]  All right?
[00:07:10]  A piece beer.
[00:07:12]  Should you be drinking, dude?
[00:07:15]  I mean, a piece beer.
[00:07:16]  I'm all down for that, but should you be drinking in your condition right now, Bjorn?
[00:07:20]  I'm a little concerned for your health, man.
[00:07:22]  And this is not a troll.
[00:07:25]  This is not a troll, okay?
[00:07:27]  I mean, I am concerned for the health of Bjorn, and I want to make sure that Bjorn, if he's going to be drinking beer, he's going to be alright.
[00:07:33]  All right.
[00:07:33]  Hold on, what is this?
[00:07:35]  Derwicking.
[00:07:38]  Us Germanics need to stick together.
[00:07:40]  Forgive Bjorn Ghost.
[00:07:43]  All right, Derwicking is saying to forgive Bjorn.
[00:07:47]  No, I don't need to dare.
[00:07:50]  Bjorn, fuck you, and ghost's interanal douchers are coming to clean your ass and show you how to clean that ass.
[00:07:56]  Hey, Skunkler, fuck you, Skunkler.
[00:07:59]  And 60 grandchildren.
[00:08:01]  What?
[00:08:01]  My 60 grandchildren?
[00:08:04]  You want to see my family?
[00:08:06]  You want to see my family?
[00:08:08]  Are you kidding me?
[00:08:09]  Good God.
[00:08:09]  I mean, look, like I said, I forgive you, Bjorn.
[00:08:13]  I forgive you, but I'm telling you, when you said that to me, that cut me.
[00:08:17]  And that cut me deep.
[00:08:19]  And it hurt.
[00:08:20]  And it still fucking hurts right now, man.
[00:08:22]  So look, I'm going to forgive Bjorn.
[00:08:25]  I'm going to forgive Bjorn right here because the fans are telling me that I should forgive you.
[00:08:30]  So I'm going to forgive Bjorn here.
[00:08:33]  All right.
[00:08:33]  I forgive you, man.
[00:08:34]  All right.
[00:08:36]  I'm going to forgive Bjorn.
[00:08:38]  All right.
[00:08:38]  Everybody happy now?
[00:08:41]  Is everybody happy?
[00:08:45]  I'm going to forgive him, man.
[00:08:46]  All right.
[00:08:47]  Cheers to Bjorn out here.
[00:08:50]  And by the way, hey, Bjorn, let me tell you something.
[00:08:53]  Let me tell you something, man.
[00:08:54]  I've got something up my sleeve in the next couple of months for all the in-real life streamers, okay?
[00:09:00]  If Casey thinks that he can do a little RV trip, all right, I'm going to do something a little bit better for all in-real life streamers, okay?
[00:09:10]  Now, I'm not going to make the announcement now, okay?
[00:09:13]  But I'm going to do something where all the in-real life streamers are going to compete for a sum of money.
[00:09:19]  All right.
[00:09:20]  And what is this?
[00:09:20]  Hold on.
[00:09:21]  I'm getting a dono by Super Jesus.
[00:09:27]  I don't know what this damn text-to-speech is.
[00:09:29]  Take as much time as you need.
[00:09:30]  Dad isn't that bad these days.
[00:09:32]  The way they beat him, me dead really brought- Alright, alright- All right.
[00:09:35]  I'm talking to Bjorn here, Super Jesus.
[00:09:38]  And what is this?
[00:09:38]  Captain Hook.
[00:09:39]  He's a melting pot of friendship.
[00:09:41]  He's a nice guy.
[00:09:42]  All right.
[00:09:42]  Anyway, let me get back to Bjorn here.
[00:09:44]  Yeah, a competition.
[00:09:45]  Now, listen, I am going to sponsor myself with my own money.
[00:09:49]  With my own money.
[00:09:50]  Hold on.
[00:09:50]  What is it?
[00:09:51]  Another damn dono.
[00:09:52]  Hold on.
[00:09:57]  Ollie, Ollie, why are you even donating that?
[00:09:59]  I'm trying to talk to Bjorn here.
[00:10:02]  I'm trying to make an announcement here.
[00:10:04]  All right.
[00:10:04]  Now, Bjorn, this is serious, and I'd like for you to tell each and every in-real life streamer you know.
[00:10:10]  In the next couple of months, I'm going to be holding a competition, and I'm going to be putting $2,000, $2,000 of my own money on the line for any in-real life streamer to win.
[00:10:23]  Okay?
[00:10:24]  Now, what we're going to do is I'm planning for something around spring break.
[00:10:28]  I believe, what's it, the second week, second week of March?
[00:10:31]  Is that it?
[00:10:34]  Oh, go fuck off, Pettis, you piece of shit.
[00:10:36]  As I was stating here, okay, I'm going to do a fucking competition.
[00:10:42]  Now, I'm not going to tell you what it is, but the winner wins two grand, okay?
[00:10:49]  Jesus Christ with these fucking text-to-speeches.
[00:10:51]  Please, hold on just a second.
[00:10:57]  All right.
[00:10:57]  All right.
[00:10:58]  We get it, 15 and a half inches, fucking whatever your name is.
[00:11:01]  We get it, all right?
[00:11:02]  Now, I'm not joking, folks.
[00:11:04]  I'm going to be putting out what I'm going to be doing.
[00:11:07]  It's going to be a contest for every in-real life streamer out there that is a part of the IP2 network, at least.
[00:11:15]  Ghost thinks you're a faggot.
[00:11:16]  Don't listen to his boomer.
[00:11:18]  Don't listen to Billy F.U., Bjorn.
[00:11:20]  Fuck this.
[00:11:20]  This guy's an asshole, all right?
[00:11:22]  This guy's an asshole.
[00:11:24]  But as I stated, folks, okay, I am going to offer a contest, and I'm going to talk about this later in extensive detail.
[00:11:31]  I'm going to put $2,000 on the line, and every in-real life streamer that's on IP2 can compete for this $2,000.
[00:11:41]  Winner takes all.
[00:11:43]  Winner takes all.
[00:11:45]  And what is this?
[00:11:47]  Gordon Freeman.
[00:11:47]  Dude, can y'all stop donating here?
[00:11:50]  Can y'all stop donating for Christ's sake?
[00:11:55]  Got some idiot named Gordon Freeman over here talking about, I don't know, butch sex or something.
[00:11:59]  But anyway, Bjorn, I'm not joking.
[00:12:02]  I'm not joking.
[00:12:03]  Cheers to Bjorn, by the way.
[00:12:04]  All right.
[00:12:04]  What is this?
[00:12:08]  No way, Dimebag Daryl body pillow.
[00:12:11]  No fucking way, Jane Gamer girl.
[00:12:15]  You must have watched Rat Race after that Hitler Cardono.
[00:12:18]  He thinks he's fucking giant.
[00:12:20]  All right, dude.
[00:12:20]  Enough donate.
[00:12:21]  Don't donate to me for Christ's sake.
[00:12:22]  All right.
[00:12:24]  Don't donate for Christ's sake.
[00:12:26]  Anyway, folks, everybody say bye to Bjorn.
[00:12:29]  We're going to move on from here, dude.
[00:12:31]  Thank you, Bjorn.
[00:12:33]  Cheers to you.
[00:12:33]  And I'm glad we've made up.
[00:12:35]  I'm glad me and Bjorn have made up, dude, because I was really bothering me.
[00:12:39]  I'll tell you that right now.
[00:12:41]  It was really bothering me.
[00:12:42]  So thank you, Bjorn.
[00:12:43]  Cheers to you, man.
[00:12:45]  And as I stated, let me explain to you what I was just talking about.
[00:12:49]  Now, what I plan to do, folks, is I plan on having an IRL competition.
[00:12:54]  Now, this competition is going to take place in the week, or actually on one day on the week of spring break, so that everybody can tune in and watch.
[00:13:05]  Now, what is going to happen is, I'm going to put $2,000 on the line and I'm going to throw a contest up.
[00:13:13]  Now, I'm not going to tell you what the contest is because if I tell you what the contest is, you've got that Arab car salesman, Casey, who's probably going to try to rip off my idea and fucking claim it for himself.
[00:13:26]  Okay?
[00:13:28]  So if you happen to know any of these folks that are in real life streamers, except for that fucking bitch, fucking Brittany Venti, fuck that whore.
[00:13:37]  All right.
[00:13:38]  That bitch looks like William Dafoe in fucking drag.
[00:13:42]  All right.
[00:13:42]  I'm tired of seeing that bitch.
[00:13:44]  But anybody else?
[00:13:46]  Anybody else?
[00:13:48]  Two grand is too low.
[00:13:49]  What are you fucking talking about?
[00:13:52]  What are you fucking told?
[00:13:53]  Two grand is too low.
[00:13:55]  What are you fucking talking about, man?
[00:13:58]  Fucking $2,000 cash, baby.
[00:14:01]  All right?
[00:14:03]  Jesus Christ.
[00:14:04]  What?
[00:14:04]  What is this?
[00:14:06]  Skunkler, when nobody participates, can get two grand.
[00:14:11]  Dude, shut up.
[00:14:12]  Can you get the two?
[00:14:13]  You get shit.
[00:14:14]  All right.
[00:14:14]  All you do is talk shit about me, Skunkler.
[00:14:17]  All right.

=== Two Grand Too Low (09:50) ===

[00:14:19]  And I'm not joking.
[00:14:20]  Brittany Venti, you're an ugly bitch.
[00:14:22]  All right.
[00:14:22]  You're an ugly fucking bitch.
[00:14:25]  And whoever donates to that ugly bitch, dude, I could only imagine what you look like.
[00:14:30]  All right.
[00:14:31]  I can only imagine what the fuck you look like for Christ's sake.
[00:14:36]  Jesus Christ.
[00:14:37]  I'm not joking around, man.
[00:14:39]  That Britney Venti needs to get the fuck off IP too.
[00:14:41]  We don't need to see William Dafoe in drag.
[00:14:44]  All right.
[00:14:45]  That is an ugly bitch.
[00:14:47]  All right.
[00:14:47]  I don't get it.
[00:14:48]  I don't get it.
[00:14:50]  This source is called Darkness.
[00:14:52]  The gateway to all understanding.
[00:14:54]  Darkness within darkness awaits you.
[00:14:56]  Riku.
[00:14:58]  The fuck are you talking about for Christ's sake?
[00:15:00]  Hey, and Spermi the cat.
[00:15:01]  Look, anybody who wants to become an in-real life streamer has time to do so.
[00:15:08]  Okay.
[00:15:08]  I mean, we're not doing this.
[00:15:10]  I haven't done the 4-1-1.
[00:15:11]  I haven't given everybody the insight of what the hell's going to happen.
[00:15:15]  But I'm going to announce it here in the next couple of weeks.
[00:15:17]  So from now, from two weeks from now, you all have, any one of you, anybody has the opportunity to participate in the IRL event.
[00:15:27]  And I'm not putting up any more than fucking $2,000 for Christ's sake, man.
[00:15:31]  It's only going to be a fucking event.
[00:15:33]  Get the fuck out of here.
[00:15:35]  All right.
[00:15:35]  Minimum $10,000 or I'm a Jew.
[00:15:38]  What the fuck are you talking about?
[00:15:42]  All right.
[00:15:43]  Two grand.
[00:15:44]  That's it.
[00:15:45]  All right.
[00:15:46]  Cash.
[00:15:46]  Winner takes all, all right?
[00:15:49]  Put up 10 grand.
[00:15:51]  Go fuck yourself.
[00:15:52]  You see, these are the kind of fans I've got.
[00:15:54]  These are the kind of milky liquors that I've got for fans out here.
[00:15:57]  Look at that.
[00:15:57]  I'm giving up fucking $2,000 of my own money, and I'm a fucking Jew.
[00:16:01]  Look at that shit.
[00:16:03]  Why do black people call whites honkies?
[00:16:05]  Because that's the last thing they hear before they get run over.
[00:16:08]  Ah, dude, come on.
[00:16:12]  Alabama wind chime.
[00:16:13]  Dude, all right, dude.
[00:16:14]  Gordon Freeman, enough of the fucking racist jokes.
[00:16:18]  We don't need any of that shit, all right?
[00:16:20]  We don't condone that shit out here, okay?
[00:16:22]  I'm a melting pot of friendship.
[00:16:25]  I happen to have a whole bunch of friends that happen to be black, all right?
[00:16:30]  All right, I happen to have a whole bunch of friends that happen to be Hispandex, all right?
[00:16:36]  I happen to have a whole bunch of friends that happen to be Kraut, WAP, fucking muck shovel and mix, Limeys, Frogs, Kangaroo Bangers, Orientals.
[00:16:48]  I mean, I happen to have a whole bunch of friends that happen to be all kinds of different nationalities.
[00:16:54]  So I don't know what the hell you're talking about.
[00:16:55]  Ghost Nort.
[00:16:56]  I used to be a somebody until I opened my heart to the darkness.
[00:17:00]  Now I'm stuck on a wheelchair, spend my time harvesting.
[00:17:04]  All right, man.
[00:17:04]  Go fuck off, dude.
[00:17:06]  All right, seriously, go fuck off.
[00:17:08]  All right, go fuck off, ghost nort.
[00:17:10]  What is this?
[00:17:12]  Subscribe to me.
[00:17:13]  I'll compete.
[00:17:14]  Make it a workout challenge, and I'll smoke everyone.
[00:17:17]  It's not going to be a workout challenge, but you can participate in it, there aesthetic.
[00:17:21]  All you got to do is get the minimum amount of people to follow you, and you can be able to start live streaming.
[00:17:27]  I'm not joking around.
[00:17:28]  Two grand cash.
[00:17:30]  You know what I mean?
[00:17:31]  Whoever wins, winner take all, dude.
[00:17:32]  And it's going to be fun.
[00:17:34]  It's going to force some of these people that are on IP2 and other fucking streamers to produce content.
[00:17:43]  All right.
[00:17:44]  All right.
[00:17:44]  I'm going to have a competition that is going to produce major content.
[00:17:48]  All right.
[00:17:49]  And who the hell is on here anyway?
[00:17:50]  We got high font.
[00:17:52]  Does anybody really listen to this bald fuck?
[00:17:54]  I mean, let me, let me, what are you doing?
[00:17:56]  Trying to be doing nothing with.
[00:18:00]  One second.
[00:18:02]  Gay strip gay strip club in gay strip club?
[00:18:08]  Why?
[00:18:09]  Nebraska?
[00:18:10]  Nebraska.
[00:18:11]  Why?
[00:18:12]  All right.
[00:18:13]  Take this guy off of here.
[00:18:14]  All right, that's enough.
[00:18:15]  This guy's looking up gay strip clubs for fuck's sake.
[00:18:18]  All right, what up?
[00:18:19]  Captain Hook.
[00:18:22]  Kangaroo bangers are all gone, my man.
[00:18:25]  They either are burnt or hanging with the corona with lime.
[00:18:30]  All right, dude.
[00:18:30]  Just go fuck off with that shit, dude.
[00:18:32]  You guys are being macabre now.
[00:18:35]  What, Gordon Freeman?
[00:18:36]  What do tornadoes and black people have in common?
[00:18:39]  It takes one to ruin the neighborhood.
[00:18:41]  Aw, dude, no, I don't condone that.
[00:18:44]  I don't condone that shit.
[00:18:47]  I don't condone that.
[00:18:48]  And what does this duva dude?
[00:18:49]  Type hard to deny Hakuruku Takahashi a happy Valentine's Day.
[00:18:54]  Who gives a fuck for Christ?
[00:18:56]  Who gives a shit?
[00:18:57]  All right.
[00:18:58]  Thanks a lot for nothing, Duva dude.
[00:19:00]  And who's it?
[00:19:00]  Peter Griffin for two bucks.
[00:19:02]  You're a smart fella, ghost.
[00:19:04]  Don't listen to these trolls.
[00:19:06]  They're total losers.
[00:19:07]  Trump for 2020.
[00:19:08]  You're goddamn right.
[00:19:10]  You're goddamn right, baby.
[00:19:12]  All right.
[00:19:12]  Anyway, Blade's on.
[00:19:13]  What is Blade doing?
[00:19:16]  What is Blade doing?
[00:19:19]  Look at this.
[00:19:20]  He's walking around the strip like a simp.
[00:19:22]  Look at this guy.
[00:19:24]  What happened to that beluga whale that he was, you know, trying to bang last night?
[00:19:29]  Maybe she'll take me off.
[00:19:30]  Whatever, dude.
[00:19:30]  We'll figure it out.
[00:19:31]  Figure it out, man.
[00:19:32]  Grogang!
[00:19:35]  Rogue gang!
[00:19:37]  That bomb was fine, too, yeah.
[00:19:38]  All right, dude, this is, I mean, come on, Blade.
[00:19:41]  Why don't you just get in front of the camera and start getting belligerently drunk, all right?
[00:19:47]  What?
[00:19:50]  What are you talking about?
[00:19:53]  The fuck is this person talking?
[00:19:55]  I have no idea what the hell you're talking about, text-to-speech asshole, all right?
[00:19:59]  All right, go back to IP2.
[00:20:01]  Who else we got?
[00:20:01]  We got Captain.
[00:20:02]  Dude, I hate Captain Content, dude.
[00:20:04]  I'm sorry.
[00:20:05]  This is another guy that I'm not going to allow into the contest.
[00:20:08]  This guy is a foreigner that needs to go back to his fucking shitbag Spanish country.
[00:20:13]  All right?
[00:20:14]  Because all this guy is, is a homeless vagrant going up and pissing people off.
[00:20:20]  He goes up to fucking people on the Las Vegas strip with his broken English accent.
[00:20:26]  Fucking, oh, how you doing?
[00:20:28]  I am a Captain Content and I am going to use you for my content.
[00:20:33]  And yes, that's what I'm going to do.
[00:20:35]  And did I tell you I do like Licka Tranny asshole?
[00:20:39]  Fucking it.
[00:20:40]  What is this idiot doing?
[00:20:41]  What is he doing?
[00:20:42]  Very good karma.
[00:20:43]  Thanks to you guys.
[00:20:44]  Appreciate it.
[00:20:45]  Look at this.
[00:20:48]  Look at this.
[00:20:52]  I mean, this guy's in a fucking parking lot.
[00:20:57]  All right, get this guy out of here.
[00:20:58]  Get this fucking guy out of here.
[00:20:59]  Get him out of here for Christ's sake.
[00:21:03]  I think this guy is cringe content, dude.
[00:21:05]  I'm sorry.
[00:21:05]  Captain Content is cringe content.
[00:21:07]  He goes up to innocent fucking people with his broken English accent.
[00:21:11]  How you doing?
[00:21:12]  I am a captain of content.
[00:21:17]  What?
[00:21:20]  Let's go Trump 2020 and Boris Johnson 2020.
[00:21:23]  Yeah, you know what?
[00:21:24]  Cheers to that.
[00:21:25]  Death to socialism, death to communism, and type hard to deny Haruka Takahashi a happy Well, I don't know.
[00:21:29]  I don't know what the hell that's about, but I'm telling you, everybody ready for Brexit?
[00:21:34]  Everybody ready for Brexit, baby?
[00:21:36]  You goddamn right.
[00:21:37]  The EU is about to lose one of their biggest members of their nation states, baby.
[00:21:42]  And I'd like to thank Nigel Farage for 27 years of hard advocating to finally have this day come to a reality.
[00:21:51]  So cheers to all my brethren across the pond out there.
[00:21:54]  All right, what else do we have here?
[00:21:56]  Who else do we have?
[00:21:57]  We just looked at Captain Content fingering his ass in a parking lot.
[00:22:00]  I don't know why anybody's watching that shit.
[00:22:03]  And this guy, no jumper.
[00:22:05]  Dude, what is this guy doing?
[00:22:09]  I mean, give me a fucking break with this guy, dude.
[00:22:12]  I mean, seriously.
[00:22:13]  Is this guy even there?
[00:22:14]  Look.
[00:22:16]  This is fucking ridiculous.
[00:22:17]  Look, you see all these donos here?
[00:22:20]  You see all these donos?
[00:22:21]  These are fledgling rappers.
[00:22:24]  Fledgling rappers trying to get these people to listen to their fucking stupid mixtape.
[00:22:30]  And then these idiots out here make judgment calls on whether or not it's fire or not.
[00:22:37]  Fucking stupid.
[00:22:38]  And who is this whore?
[00:22:39]  Who is this stupid whore thinking that she's better than she is?
[00:22:43]  All right, I'm done with it.
[00:22:44]  This guy should be thrown off the air.
[00:22:47]  This guy should be thrown off the air.
[00:22:48]  I'm not even joking around.
[00:22:50]  Fucking, not to mention Adam.
[00:22:53]  How old are you?
[00:22:54]  I mean, you look like you're 45 years old trying to play like you're 20.
[00:22:59]  Fucking Adam 22.
[00:23:00]  Get this fucking guy out of here.
[00:23:02]  Get this guy out of here.
[00:23:03]  Makes me fucking sick.
[00:23:04]  Get him out of here.
[00:23:06]  Get him the fuck out of here.
[00:23:09]  Jesus Christ, man.
[00:23:11]  Who else do we have?
[00:23:11]  Who else do we have on IP2 here?
[00:23:13]  Who else is this?
[00:23:15]  We just saw Bjorn.
[00:23:16]  This fucking Landon Tail.
[00:23:17]  Who the fuck is this fucking moron?
[00:23:19]  Then begins the pressing.
[00:23:21]  Who in the fuck is this idiot?
[00:23:24]  Is this guy trying to be the new clipper or something?
[00:23:26]  Is that what he is?
[00:23:28]  He's trying to be the new clipper?
[00:23:31]  Get the fuck out of here.
[00:23:32]  Get this guy off my screen.
[00:23:34]  Go fucking jack off in another Walmart or whatever it is that you fucking did, you stupid milky liquor.
[00:23:40]  And look, it's Ebenezer.
[00:23:41]  Ebenezer's in the house.
[00:23:43]  Oh, no, he's driving, dude.
[00:23:45]  We better not bother this moron while he's driving.
[00:23:48]  The last thing he needs is another Gator skin fucking ticket, baby.
[00:23:52]  I mean, isn't this brother like 4K in debt from so many goddamn tickets for Christ's sake?
[00:23:56]  Because he drives like a circus animal.
[00:23:59]  No pun intended?
[00:24:02]  Anyway, thank you, Ebenezer.
[00:24:04]  I don't know what you're doing.
[00:24:05]  What are you doing?
[00:24:05]  You're sitting on a red light.
[00:24:06]  You better be going somewhere to get some content, dude.

=== Cycling Warriors Scam (04:29) ===

[00:24:09]  All right.
[00:24:10]  We're tired of looking at your goddamn California raisin head, just looking at a goddamn fucking camera.
[00:24:16]  We're tired of it.
[00:24:18]  And what is this, Derwicking?
[00:24:19]  Fuck yeah, Hail Trump, Hale Johnson, Britain is based again in sovereign Nigel Farage's English hero.
[00:24:26]  He's the equivalent of Ron Paul.
[00:24:29]  Prost to these patriots, death to world communism.
[00:24:32]  You're damn right, Derwicking.
[00:24:34]  And 15 and a half inches of pure imagination, free the European people.
[00:24:38]  Death to the EU.
[00:24:40]  You're goddamn right, death to the EU.
[00:24:42]  The EU, once upon a time, was supposed to be an economic agreement.
[00:24:47]  Now, all of a sudden, that wants to be a super nation state.
[00:24:52]  Now, they want to relinquish the members, the member nation states.
[00:24:56]  They want to relinquish their autonomy.
[00:24:58]  All right, force them into the super nation state.
[00:25:00]  And now the EU wants their own army.
[00:25:03]  Now they want their own nuclear weapons for Christ's sake, man.
[00:25:08]  How funny an economic agreement goes from, you know, once upon a time to now, all of a sudden, they want to be a super state.
[00:25:17]  Jesus Christ, who else is on IP2?
[00:25:19]  Hey, isn't there an IP2?
[00:25:22]  I'm set it to get rid of this asshole, scuff Justin Carey.
[00:25:27]  This guy is the biggest waste of life I've ever seen next to that fucking fat Cuban idiot.
[00:25:32]  What's his name?
[00:25:33]  Salmon Andy?
[00:25:35]  Salmon Andy's a perfect example of what I'm talking about.
[00:25:38]  Only in America can a homeless fat fuck be a fat jelly ass bastard like that.
[00:25:43]  And by the way, how come nobody is talking about the fraud that has been committed in the past of old Salmon Andy of cycling here?
[00:25:53]  Excuse me, cycling warriors.
[00:25:56]  Cycling warriors.
[00:25:57]  Go look that shit up.
[00:25:59]  Go look up cycling warriors on Instagram and go take a look at fucking Salmon Andy just literally trying to pretend that he is a veteran, trying to pretend he's a wounded veteran, all right?
[00:26:12]  What do you know of darkness?
[00:26:14]  I do not know.
[00:26:14]  Oh, Jesus Christ.
[00:26:16]  What the fuck is this new age shit?
[00:26:19]  What the fuck is up with this new age shit?
[00:26:22]  I have drank the water of life.
[00:26:23]  The spice has expanded my vision.
[00:26:26]  All right.
[00:26:27]  I don't know what spice you're smoking, what spice you're taking, but we don't want none.
[00:26:32]  We don't want none, all right?
[00:26:34]  Once again, I want everybody to put it in the face of goddamn Salmon Andy when this fat son of a bitch is on a goddamn live stream.
[00:26:42]  Talk about cycle warriors.
[00:26:45]  Cycle warriors, because this fucking guy actually tried to have a fake non-profit organization where he claims that if you donate to his cycling warriors program, that he was somehow giving the money to folks that have their legs blown off and things of that nature.
[00:27:05]  So fuck you, Salmon Andy, you fat fucking piece of trash.
[00:27:11]  You know, I mean, the fact that fucking Salmon Andy and this idiot scuffed Justin Carrey are alive, that's God's joke right there.
[00:27:21]  That's proof that God doesn't give a shit, you know?
[00:27:25]  I mean, why do people like this even need to exist on this earth when they make no contribution whatsoever?
[00:27:32]  They make no contribution whatsoever.
[00:27:34]  Who is this Captain Hook, not a troll?
[00:27:37]  Why is the World Health Organization corrupt and incompetent?
[00:27:41]  Because it's a part of the United Nations, dude.
[00:27:44]  It's a globalist apparatus.
[00:27:47]  And that's why the United States is doing their own Thea thing, and we ain't down with that globalist nonsense, baby.
[00:27:53]  That's why, Captain Hook.
[00:27:56]  Jesus Christ, man.
[00:27:58]  All right.
[00:27:58]  What else is new?
[00:28:00]  What else is fucking new?
[00:28:01]  Anyway, look.
[00:28:02]  Post-Iowa Trump rally, Trump 2020, you sons of bitches can sit here and pretend that you're down with that fucking idiot Chinese fucking agent, fucking Yang Yang.
[00:28:15]  You all can pretend that you're with fucking prostate-infected Uncle Bernie.
[00:28:19]  You all can pretend that you're with that AIDS victim, fucking Buddha Chicage, or whatever the fuck his name is.
[00:28:25]  You can all pretend that you're down with Pocahontas, Trump 2020, bitch.
[00:28:29]  Here we go again.
[00:28:30]  No content ghost leeching off other people.
[00:28:33]  Hey, fuck you, scungler.
[00:28:34]  All right, what are you talking about?
[00:28:36]  You are definitely a gay Jew with foreskin.

=== Elephant Trunk Foreskin (01:19) ===

[00:28:38]  Yeah, fuck off, dude.
[00:28:39]  Fuck you, idiot.
[00:28:40]  All right.
[00:28:40]  I don't have no fucking foreskin.
[00:28:42]  All right.
[00:28:42]  I'm cut.
[00:28:43]  All right.
[00:28:44]  Like I said, the Jews say that when God comes down, it's going to be dicks out for God, and God's going to know who his chosen people are based upon those that have the foreskin cut off.
[00:28:57]  All right?
[00:28:58]  So if you've got a foreskin that looks like a goddamn trunk of a fucking elephant, then you are not a part of God's people.
[00:29:06]  All right.
[00:29:07]  How do you like that shit?
[00:29:09]  How do you like that shit?
[00:29:10]  And let me tell you something, dude.
[00:29:11]  I don't like foreskin, dude.
[00:29:13]  I mean, whenever I'm watching pornographic material and I see some hot piece of fucking pornographic ass, you know, like these fucking porno stars with the big boobs and shit, then some idiot pulls out a fucking uncut cock.
[00:29:26]  I'm over it.
[00:29:26]  Change it.
[00:29:27]  Just take it off.
[00:29:29]  I fucking, I can't stand the look of an uncut penis.
[00:29:33]  It's fucking disgusting.
[00:29:34]  What are you hiding under there, huh?
[00:29:37]  What are you hiding under there, huh?
[00:29:39]  A cottage cheese problem?
[00:29:41]  I'm sorry.
[00:29:42]  It bears repeating.
[00:29:43]  It bears fucking repeating, dude.
[00:29:47]  Fucking looks like a fucking trunk to a goddamn elephant.
[00:29:50]  It's disgusting.
[00:29:52]  Fucking foreskin muzzle loving pieces of fucking feminine penis Sucking shit.