Ghost hosts a chaotic Christmas Eve True Capitalist Radio edition, rejecting financial markets to field hostile callers using slurs like "trans-testicle" and racial epithets. He escalates tensions by calling back a prank caller, auctioning the mother of an aggressive listener named Moo, and mocking a fourteen-year-old seeking prostitution. While defending his "melting pot" friendship against accusations of racism and transphobia, Ghost promotes his merchandise shop and concludes by wishing listeners a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and Happy Kwanzaa amidst vulgar anecdotes and threats. [Automatically generated summary]
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Love Talk Radio.
Here we go.
Last off.
This is True Capitalist Radio.
True Capitalist Radio.
I am your host, the man they call Ghost.
The badass of business.
Give him capitalism or give him death.
That's it.
Period.
Broadcasting from his Skylight Office studios in beautiful downtown Austin, Texas.
You sound fruitier than a box of fruit loops, for Christ's sake.
And now, he'll take it from here.
Your host, the prognosticator of prognosticators, the man they call...
Go Me.
And thank you for tuning in with me to a very special edition of the True Capitalist Radio broadcast.
And of course, I am your host, the man they call Ghost.
And once again, folks, I want to thank everybody for tuning into this special Christmas Eve edition of the True Capitalist Radio broadcast.
That's right.
We are broadcasting on Christmas Eve.
That's how down we are as capitalists.
Let me tell you something.
I am broadcasting live right now from my high-rise condominium.
Believe it or not, I have to keep this goddamn thing a little bit down because I don't want the neighbors to be calling the coppers over here and be spoiling my Christmas Eve out here.
But I want to say a Merry Christmas or a happy Hanukkah or a happy Kwanzaa or if you're an atheist, well, you know, a good day to you.
Let me tell you something right now.
I am hype.
I mean, I'm giddy for Christ's sake.
I mean, I'm giddy.
I got to calm down for Christ's sake.
All right.
I'm all hyped up on sugar.
You know, the wife has been baking all day, all kinds of pies and cookies.
And she's going to make a cake later for Christ's sake.
So, you know, I'm a little hyper.
Of course, I am consuming on alcoholic beverages because it's the holidays.
So, you know, as well as I am consuming on some alcoholic beverages.
Let me tell you something right now.
You've got the day off tomorrow.
If you are not consuming on alcoholic beverages, of course, you've got to be over the age of 21.
But if you're over the age of 21 and you are not consuming alcoholic beverages today, you're an utter moron.
All right, unless you're an alcoholic, you know, unless you're one of those idiots that have to be on the wagon because, you know, you're not one of these idiots that just can have about six or eight beers.
You know, you're one of these idiots that have to have six or eight beers with four or five shots and margaritas and Long Island iced teas and all this other crap.
But anyway, folks, this is a very special edition.
I wanted to first say I'm sorry for the last show.
I know that I basically just went off keister and I kind of sounded a little bit like a kid there at the end, but I just got fed up with the troll terrorists that continued to agitate my broadcast, folks.
And let me tell you, I hope they have a heart today.
I hope they have a heart because today is the Christmas Eve special.
Let me tell you, we're not going to get into the markets today.
I know I've been gone for a little bit.
We're not going to get into any kind of news or anything of that nature.
This is just a completely spontaneous, open-ended edition of the True Capitalist Radio broadcast.
Of course, we're going to have radio graffiti at the end of the show.
So hopefully everybody's having a good day out there.
Anyway, it's Christmas Eve.
The wife is out there.
She's baking.
You know, you should see the house here.
You should see the goddamn condominium.
It's made up just like a freaking.
I wish I could take a picture of it, but I'm afraid that if I took a picture of it, you idiots would somehow figure out where the hell I'm located.
But it looks just like a freaking pottery barn cover.
You know, literally, like a pottery barn cover of a catalog.
It's great.
It's unbelievable.
All right, unfreaking believable for Christ's sake.
And look, I'm giddy right now.
As you can see, I got a smile on my face.
You know what I mean?
All right, I've got a smile on my face.
I'm giddy.
It's Christmas time.
This should prove to all you dumbasses that I'm not a Jew.
I'm celebrating Christmas.
But for you Jewish folks out there, hey, happy Hanukkah.
You know, what are we on?
The fourth day of the menorah, fifth day, something like that.
So anyway, what's going on?
And to all the folks that are celebrating Kwanzaa, what's going on with all the Kwanzaa peeps?
I'm not really too familiar with what's Kwanzaa about.
Can somebody explain that to me?
Can somebody explain why we are celebrating something that just kind of hopped itself along on the holiday bandwagon within the past 10, 15 years?
What is Kwanzaa?
Can somebody explain that to me?
Give me a call right now, 646-652-4869.
We're going to go right into the calls right now, folks.
I want to talk to you, all right?
I want to talk to you.
And look, I don't want to hear any trolls.
I don't want to hear any ass count clause playing any freaking clips or anything of that nature, all right?
If you want to ask me a question, it's a Christmas Day edition.
As a matter of fact, I am so connected out here in the capitalist world that I actually have connections with the man himself, the man of the hour himself.
I'm talking about Santa Claus.
We're actually going to try to see if we can connect with Santa Claus throughout the show.
Because believe it or not, we actually have Santa Claus's cell phone number.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know, Santa's got cell phones now.
It's the new digital age, babe.
It's the 21st century, for Christ's sake.
Anyway, we're going to see where the hell he's at, what he's doing, where he's been, what he's up to, for Christ's sake.
So, no, I'm not going to post Santa's number for Christ's sake.
He's a busy man, all right?
He's a busy man right now.
He's doing a lot of things.
And, you know, we're going to track him down a little bit for Christ's sake.
As a matter of fact, he just took off from the North Pole right now.
So we're going to tune in with him.
We're going to try to call him, see if we can get him on the horn here.
But until then, we want to take your calls.
It's the Christmas Day.
I mean, it's Christmas Eve, man.
Can you believe that?
Are you in the spirit?
It's Christmas time, that time of year, where financially you're taking it in the rear.
Oh, it's Christmas time, that time and place, where everybody's laughing in your effing face because you gave them a gift that they didn't want.
And all you're saying is, I don't know what the hell you're saying.
Anyway, let me take some calls here.
I'm sorry, I'm giddy.
I have a lot of freaking sugar and freaking alcohol running through my page for Christ's sake.
As you can see, I'm hyper.
I'm talking really fast for Christ's sake.
I hope that the neighbors aren't calling the cops right now.
I hope they understand.
Just by listening to me, I'm having some kind of a broadcast where I'm talking to some kind of audience of some sort.
You know, this is not some kind of domesticated situation.
You know, hopefully, they're not calling the coppers out here, and we're going to knock on the door.
Sir, we're having some sort of complaints about the neighbors that there may be some kind of a domestic asset.
Shut up, pig.
Shut up.
You sit there and I'm a taxpayer.
Should be kissing my ass, which you should be doing.
As a matter of fact, why don't you clean some of this crap up out here in front of the building there, Copper?
Anyway, I shouldn't be talking like that.
Let me calm down.
This is Christmas.
It's Christmas Eve.
Merry Christmas to all.
Happy Hanukkah.
Happy Kwanzaa and whatever else people are celebrating today.
Anyway, let me take some breaths.
It's Christmas time.
I'm going to take some calls right now.
And look, I'm not dealing with any troll terrorists today.
I want you to know this.
I'm going to underscore this as much as I possibly can.
I'm not taking any of these goddamn troll terrorists.
You better be asking questions.
Or if you're not going to answer some questions, why don't you tell us a story?
Tell us a Christmas story that'll give us a little bit of melted heart.
You know, that'll get us right in the old reminiscal brain.
All right?
I want to hear from you.
646652-4869.
Whatever you want to talk about.
It's an open-ended edition.
It's Christmas Eve, man.
It's Christmas freaking Eve.
I mean, ho, ho, ho, is all I got to say, all right?
Anyway, let's take some calls here.
We're not taking any BS.
All right?
I'm not going to hear any trolls.
And for all you trolls, have a heart for Christ's sake.
All right?
It's Christmas time.
All right?
Remember, I'm going to host these jerk-off extended family members of mine tomorrow.
All right?
So you think I'm going to have a very good Christmas day?
No.
Because what's going to happen is all these idiots are going to come into my house.
They're going to eat my food.
They're going to eat all the baked goods that my wife is cooking right now.
They're going to do all this crap.
And they're going to give me sucky ass gifts.
They're going to give you the gifts that were marked down to about clearance price.
You know, stuff that supposedly was $79.99.
That's conveniently $5.95 now.
This is the kind of crap that I get on a consistent basis.
Like my sister-in-law, Caroline.
I bet you, money, we're going to smell this bitch before she even gets to the door because she's going to bring another fucking.
Excuse my French.
I'm sorry.
I've had a few.
I'm sorry.
Excuse me if a couple of French words slip out of there.
But I'm going to have an eight-year-old freaking fruitcake coming out.
And we live in a condominium, of course, folks, and we have elevators.
And once those elevators open up, I mean, if you have a horrible stench coming off of you, the whole hallway is going to smell it.
Jesus Christ.
Anyway, I want to hear some holiday spirit.
I want you to get me in a good mood.
You know what a good present is for me?
What you can do for me?
Let's just talk.
All right?
Screw the whole crap of playing stupid songs.
Screw the whole crap of, hey, I'm arrow roll.
Hey, hey, hey, I mean, screw all that crap, all right?
We're going to talk.
All right?
We're talking here.
All right?
It's Christmas Eve.
I hope that you people have a heart.
Anyway, 646652-4869.
It's the special Ghost Christmas Edition.
I've already had a few.
Not only that, I've been.
I am so hyped up on sugar, it's unfreaking believable.
It almost is.
You know what I mean?
Anyway, let's take some calls here.
Let's talk about some Christmas events or some Christmas memories.
Area code 520, what's up?
You're on the Ghost Christmas Edition.
Kane wishes you a happy birthday, brother.
Who's that?
Who are you talking about?
Kane, the leader of our Brotherhood.
Don't you know?
The Brotherhood of Lie.
You're some stupid troll, for Christ's sake.
I mean, look, we're not having this today.
I hope that you people realize we're not having this today.
All right?
I mean, this is Christmas Eve, all right?
Especially fruit bowls like this, all right?
If you're going to call up, you're going to talk garbage to me, you're going to say four-letter words at me or something, at least sound off like you got a pair, all right?
At least sound off like you were raised by your mother and father, all right?
Jesus Christ, I'm so sick of these fruity asses, man.
I mean, I'm sick of them.
I mean, I see them on the TV.
I mean, they're out here in Austin, Texas.
I mean, walking around, and they're just fruity, man.
Anyway, it's Christmas Eve.
I'm not letting you idiots screw up my day here.
All right?
We're taking calls here.
I want to talk to the fans out there, the true conservative fans.
What's your Christmas like?
Give me a Christmas memory.
Let's talk about Christmas or Kwanzaa or Hanukkah or whatever the hell you're celebrating for Christ's sake.
Here you go, 307.
What's up?
Why are you, sir?
Why are you playing guitar or ma'am?
Whoever, why are you playing guitar?
Why are you doing this?
That's horrible.
Why are you doing this?
Can you at least play a power chord?
Get this situation.
Get him off for Christ's sake.
This is some idiot that their mom allowed him to open up a present before the goddamn Christmas Eve hit midnight.
And here he is.
He's playing some ridiculous, disgusting, pathetic Best Buy guitar that Mammy got him from layaway for the past two months for Christ's sake.
And do you hear?
Do you hear this crap?
I mean, one-string play for Christ's sake.
I mean, look, it's the internet.
I mean, just imagine if you would have got this earlier today, and if you would have looked on the internet, there's a bunch of idiots showing you how to play power chords and scales and whatever the hell.
Whatever the hell.
All right?
And six hours from now, you would have at least been able to play Come As You Are by Nirvana or any of those three-chord Nirvana songs.
I mean, you would have been able to play anything.
But no, we're hearing a bear.
I'm telling you, these kids, they have access to the knowledge at their fingertips.
African Heritage Kwanzaa Call00:07:30
And look at them.
It's like Bill and Ted's excellent adventure over there, for Christ's sake.
You know what I mean?
603, what's up?
You're here with a ghost Christmas.
Jesus Christ, what, Helen Keller deaf mutes?
I mean, y'all aren't celebrating Christmas for Christ's sake.
I mean, go somewhere with that crap, all right?
Area code 902, what's up?
You're with the Ghost Christmas.
How are you doing, Ghost?
How's it going, man?
Oh, it's great.
You know what?
I just want to say, I was going to call here.
I was going to give you a call.
I've had a few beers.
I was going to, for lack of a better term, maybe troll and piss you off.
But you know what?
Tis the season, brother.
Tis the seasons is right.
How was your Christmas?
I mean, are you going to open presents tomorrow?
Do you still open presents?
Who are you celebrating with?
Let us alone.
What's going on with your festivities?
It's a true capitalist Christmas.
Oh, fair enough.
Fair enough, man.
No, I'm going to probably go across.
I live here in Canadia, as you call it.
I go across the bridge, visit my old man.
I baked him some chocolate bread.
Chocolate bread.
Interesting, interesting.
Are you a good baker?
I wouldn't call it a good baker, but you know, it is what it is, right?
Chocolate bread.
Oh, that sounds pretty interesting.
I hope that counts.
You know what, though?
The one thing I'm looking forward to this year is those goddamn socks.
The socks?
Who's going to give them to you?
Who do you think?
Who are you already speculating is going to give them to you?
Well, I'm hoping Santa Claus, but if it ain't Santa Claus, it'd be my old man.
Really?
He won't hook you up with a Bratwurst or maybe cook something for you?
I mean, you did give him some chocolate bread.
Maybe he won't get you some dead moose head or whatever you Canadians eat over there.
I think we might be having some ham.
Some ham.
Yeah, I kind of figured, you know, what is up with that?
Can we get some more calls on that?
How about that?
You know, did anybody happen to see their nearest honey-baked ham location and see all the pale-faced white cracker-ass crackers waiting in lines of like literally wrapping around the building, say, three or four times, waiting for a freaking ham bone?
Can somebody explain what's going on?
I mean, look, I like ham, okay?
I get it.
Ham, it's good.
Okay, great.
But, I mean, it's like, you know, white people to ham is like Mexican folk to tamales.
All right, have y'all ever been to a tamale location around Christmas or Thanksgiving time, for Christ's sake?
I mean, Jesus Christ, you would have thought Lamigra was packing them into buses to take them back over the border, for Christ's sake.
I mean, literally rapping around the building.
So I want to talk about that for a little bit.
If you're a white pale face that is involved with this particular tradition, I mean, if you were paler than the ass cheeks of Bill Clinton when he used to go out jogging and used to always have a convenient camera crew around him, I want to talk to you.
What the hell is it with this freaking ham bone crap?
All right.
What is it?
All right.
Area code 443.
What's up?
Are you going to get any hambone today?
Oh, no, man, man.
I was actually calling in to answer your Kwanzaa question.
All right, go ahead.
What's up?
I was calling to have the fact that you've got basically they celebrate this thing.
They light these candles and they set out a mat and they celebrate their heritage and all this different stuff.
And it's just.
Celebrate the African heritage, man.
And they do this thing where they all put on very traditional African clothes and things.
They dance around.
They sing.
I was lucky enough to actually get to one of these Kwanzaa celebrations when I was dating my ex-girlfriend.
And some of the food they make there, man, is just absolutely delicious.
They got this.
Really?
So let's get this straight.
You had a girlfriend that celebrated Kwanzaa?
Yes, I did.
Yes, I did.
Are you black by any chance?
No, I'm not, sir.
No, I'm not.
Oh, wow.
So that's interesting.
Very interesting story because, you know, I'm getting a little bit of a southern twang to your voice.
And it seems to me that, you know, typically when those that acquire a southern twang down in America usually don't have jungle fever.
They don't have jungle fever.
But it looks like you did there.
So, you know, the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice or what?
I don't know, man, but I tell you, I do like my coffee just a little bit dark and sweet.
So go see the reason why I was like, oh, hold on, hold on, hold on.
This is interesting.
This is interesting here.
So if she's celebrating Kwanza, so that means that she's not one of these mulattoes like our president or Jason Kidd or somebody like that.
Oh, no, sir.
No, sir.
She was really sick.
So she was looking like Wesley Snipes, right?
Like Wesley Snipes.
Oh, man.
Jesus Christ.
I mean, you know, I mean, if there was a cloudy, dark night, the only way you could find her if she smiled or something, right?
Absolutely, man, and it was all about that ass.
Unfreaking believable.
It was all about that ass.
Oh, so she had an ass?
Is that what the practice did to her?
Oh, yeah, it was quite a sight.
It's indescribable, this woman's ass was indescribable.
So could you describe it?
This is how I like to describe what you're I think you're describing.
Was it a tribal booty?
Hmm.
I would say a tribal booty.
Yeah, because you know what he's talking about.
I think it's flip it to National Geographic or you flip it to the Discovery Channel, and they always have like, you know, tribal nudity.
And, you know, most of these tribal natives, they're pretty voluptuous for a lack of a better term out here.
You know, they've got, you know, I guess what you could call a tribal booty.
I mean, you could literally serve drinks on their asses.
You know what I mean?
Uh-huh.
Yes, sir.
I think that is the best way to describe this woman's time quarters.
Unreal.
So, okay, now that we've gotten, now we've gotten all out of that.
Why don't you describe Kwanzaa to the folks that are listening in questioning why exactly they're saying happy Kwanzaa to black folk?
Well, it was a thing.
It was invented by this gentleman.
I can't remember his name.
I think first name started with an M. Invented in the Quaker 2019.
Was it Marcus Garvey?
Was it Marcus Garvey by any chance?
No, it was Maulana.
I want to say it was Maulana Karenga.
Malt Liquor?
Was it a man named Malta Liquor by any chance?
No, I don't think it was that either.
But it was invented in the 60s for his way to try and I guess it was part of the civil rights thing so that he could try and give black folks a little bit of boost to their heritage and that kind of thing so that they can feel better about it.
This isn't something that's practiced by the Zulu nation or anything.
Oh, no, sir.
This is invented in the stuff here.
So this is like American influence into African culture.
Is this what you're explaining?
Pretty much.
Pretty much.
Marcus Garvey Identity Mixup00:03:38
Unfreaking real.
Well, you know what?
I want to thank you very much for calling in, sir.
I mean, that was very informative.
And not to mention, I'd like to thank you for giving us a candid view into your jungle fever life.
We really appreciate it.
I mean, I can completely understand if what gets your little pink Willie into a stiffy kind of ligament situation is looking at tribal nudity.
Well, I guess I can understand why you're sitting over there, you know, I don't know, lighting fires for Kwanzaa, whatever the case might be.
But it's very interesting.
You see, this is what you learn on a Christmas edition of the True Capitalist Radio broadcast, all right?
I mean, you're celebrating a ghost Christmas today.
That's what it is.
This is Christmas Eve, man.
I can't believe this is Christmas Eve.
Oh, my God.
I feel good.
I'm kidding.
I'm kidding right now, for Christ's sake.
You know what I mean?
I'm smiling.
It's Christmas time.
You know, I always like Christmas Eve more than I like Christmas Day, you know?
Because Christmas Day, once again, I got to go see the extended family.
They come over here.
They suck up to me just so they can eat my food and get some gift that costs over a hundred goddamn dollars.
But, you know, with all due respect, I mean, you know, all the family that's coming over here and they're going to sit over here, go about their problem.
They're going to talk about, man, my problems, baby.
I can't feed my kids.
Shut up.
I don't want to hear it.
I mean, isn't Christmas supposed to be a get-together time when everybody's just supposed to shut their mouths about their stupid, ridiculous, pathetic problems that everybody has, and everybody's just kind of gathering around and joining some ridiculous festivity and gathering around a ridiculous tree and opening presents.
I mean, isn't that what this is all about, for Christ's sake?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I want to hear from you.
646-652-4869, for Christ's sake, it's Christmas Eve.
I'm feeling great.
I'm living lavish, by the way.
Another reason why I haven't been on the broadcast, folks, is because the brick-mortar businesses have been going through the roof.
I mean, I can't even keep product in stock.
All right.
I'm telling you this right now.
The quarters for the retail sector have to be better than expected for the next quarter.
Because I personally, as a brick-mortar business owner, could not keep product in stock.
I mean, everybody was just everywhere.
I mean, in some mall locations, I mean, they had to bring out the coppers.
You know, they had to bring out traffic copper.
That's a good use of taxpayer money, huh?
Yeah, redirecting consumeristic jerk dicks waiting at the last minute to get their freaking Christmas gifts.
We got coppers out here directing with freaking traffic lights.
It's stupid.
Stupid.
Anyway, I want to hear from you.
All right, 646-652-4869.
It's a Christmas Eve edition of the True Capitalist Radio broadcast.
I want to hear what you have to say.
All right, let's take some Skype callers.
How about Turd Burglar?
What's going on with you?
Hey, Ghost.
How's it going?
How's it going, Turdburgler?
How's your Christmas?
It's great.
It hasn't started yet, but it's going to be good.
It hasn't started.
You don't have any kind of festivities going on for Christmas Eve?
You're not drinking a cheap bottle of hooch or I don't know buying a subscription to some pornographic website or whatever you internet folks do.
Oh, I got that plan for midnight, man.
No, you're waiting for midnight.
I understand.
Traffic Lights and Totalitarian Systems00:05:21
You're very traditional.
Yeah, that's how we do it around here.
I hear you, man.
We get one pornography site at midnight, and then we have to wait until the morning to open up the rest.
I hear you.
So, what's going on with you, man?
I actually wanted to ask you a question, if that's all right.
Go for it.
Why do you support Santa?
Isn't he kind of like a socialist?
I mean, he's giving out gifts for free to everybody.
Well, now, let me tell you something.
Hold on a second.
Now, this is a tradition that has been going on for a long period of time, all right?
Now, you have to remember, this was prior to the evolution of the capitalist system.
Remember, back before capitalism, people lived in a patronage-type system where they paid patronage to a monarch or patronage to some theocratic institution, all right?
And basically, they were limited to the economic opportunities based upon this ridiculous broken model.
All right?
And along the way of this type of patronage system like serfdom, feudalism, you know, worshiping monarchy, so on and so forth, all right, you had a lot of individuals that were pretty much in derelict-type situations.
All right?
And those that weren't in derelict-type situations looked upon these people and had compassion and empathy because they were in such a prominent situation and could never see themselves in a situation where they were in literal squalor.
All right, you think that the people in today's America are poor?
These idiots don't know what the hell poor is.
All right?
Are you kidding me?
I'm telling you right now, these idiots out here don't know what poor is.
I mean, let me tell you something right now.
Go to any freaking white trailer park.
Go to any black ghetto Mexican barrio.
Fat jelly asses wander the land out there like freaking wandering cows looking for freaking hay on the ground.
They're wandering around out there, and those people are supposed to be Poe.
Look, Poe people don't have enough money to eat, you ungrateful jerks.
All right?
Poe people don't have money to eat, you stupid shit.
Just ungrateful jerk dicks.
And for you idiots that are sitting over here saying, oh, this damn lecture again, hey, hey, tough titty, you have to hear it, you stupid, ungrateful bastard, all right?
You're probably the same jerk dick that's sitting there in front of some goddamn multi-gigahert freaking laptop, all right, sitting on your wireless keyboard with your wireless mouse, and you're sitting over there saying, oh, I don't care.
I don't care.
Well, you know why you don't care, huh?
You don't want to know why you don't care?
Because you don't have to see it, all right?
You don't have to see children having to eat second harvest, all right?
You don't have to see children wander around half-naked because there's no goddamn clothes to be had.
You don't have to see children going into freaking dumpsters and going into actual live dumps to go out there and look for any type of food or material for Christ's sake.
It's stupid.
It's disgusting.
And people ask me, why don't I donate to somebody?
I don't want to donate to who?
What, the Red Cross?
I mean, this is a, screw the Red Cross.
Screw non-government organizations.
These are nothing more than bureaucracies that feed themselves more and more so-called donations so that they can suffice the bureaucracy and pay themselves all these bureaucratic salaries and all these bureaucratic bonuses for Christ's sake.
You know it and I know it.
All right?
Let me tell you something right now.
When America finally turns itself into a totalitarian state, which it's very, very closely looming, believe it or not, my ass is out of here.
I'm getting out of this country.
You idiots allowed this goddamn country to turn into a totalitarian, disgusting nightmare.
You people have to deal with it.
You see, us capitalists, we don't have to deal with it.
You understand?
This is a global economy out here.
You know, we could take our assets and go somewhere else.
As a matter of fact, I've considered going somewhere where my capital will not only generate more capital in the future, but actually help a budding emerging economy.
Where actually it'll help people, you know, have some pride and integrity and self-worth because they're out there making money.
They're actually providing themselves an opportunity out here.
Telling you this right now.
Because if you people think that we're going to continue on with this charade of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, I think you need to take a look at some of these bills that these scumbag Washington bureaucrats are trying to shove down our holes.
All right?
SOPA, the IP Protection Act, huh?
The National Defense Authorization Act.
I mean, we can go on and on.
And screw all you idiots saying that I'm running.
I'm not running anywhere for Christ's sake.
Brown Pride and Minority Status00:04:08
All right.
Hey, I got money.
All right?
I don't got to sit over here and just accept the fact that all of you people, because it's your fault, all right?
It's your freaking fault.
All right?
This is a government made for the people and by the people.
All right?
And you allowed this to happen.
So you suffer the consequences.
I'm out of here.
I'm going somewhere else.
As a matter of fact, I'm going to a country where I can buy myself a citizenship.
Understand that?
Anyway, that's enough.
I don't want to talk about that.
You see, you idiots, you're getting me into a completely depressing, different subject matter.
This is Christmas Eve, all right?
I want to talk a little bit about Christmas Eve stuff, all right?
I want to talk a little bit about Christmas Eve type stuff.
That's what I feel like doing.
I'm giddy, all right?
I'm getting, as a matter of fact, I'm going to call the wife, and not only am I going to have her come in and give me another freaking drink, but maybe some more cookies for Christ's sake.
I mean, the freaking cookies, man, are looking freaking rushed, man.
You know what I mean?
Freaking pies and cakes and cookies, man.
You know, shaking like little freaking bells and freaking Christmas trees with little ornaments on them and crap.
You know, I mean, my wife even had a little freaking cookie with a big Santa belly for Christ's sake with a freaking black belt and all that crap.
It was great.
Anyway, calm down here.
Let me have a drink.
Let me give me a little drink here.
Good stuff.
Anyway, I want to hear from you, folks.
64665-24869.
It's Christmas time.
That's special time of year.
What do you have to say about it?
The noob, what's up?
You're on the horn.
Hello?
Hey, what's up, Noob?
Hey.
So, why is that fuck all alone in Christmas Eve?
Wait, hold on.
Hey, Noob.
First of all, do I blow English?
Yeah, I do speak English.
Why?
Well, it doesn't sound like you're sitting over there saying, why are fat bagging in on for Christmas?
Why are you saying that?
I'm weeping over your fat ass.
Oh, yeah.
Hey, Noob, just stay right there because I think it's about time.
You know what the time is.
It's about time for everybody's favorite time of the broadcast.
It's guest the minority.
That's right, folks.
It's everybody's favorite game.
It's guest the minority, folks.
Everybody, put your guesses on the computer screen if you happen to be in the chat room right now.
It's everybody's favorite game.
It's guest the minority.
Let's go ahead and get back to the call, Belly.
All right.
Hey, Noob, you there?
Yep.
Are you South American by any chance?
Hell no.
What are you?
You're a Mexican, though.
You're some kind of Mexican descent, though, right?
I'm a Texan.
No, you're a Mexican descent, right?
You're of Mexican descent.
You're some kind of Tex-Mex or something?
Nope, I was born and raised in Texas.
That's right.
You don't want to admit it.
What's up with the damn Mexicans?
Every time I play this game, the Mexicans don't want to come out and say, yeah, yeah, I'm brown and proud, Puto.
I'm brown and proud, you beanche cavacho.
I mean, everybody else is black and proud.
I mean, you know, the Orientals are proud whenever they're up on for the guest minority.
I mean, every other ethnic minority group is proud of their race, and rightfully so.
This idiot, he's like, I'm a Texan.
How can you be a Texan with a broken-ass English accent like that unless you're living in the back in some tough shed in somebody's ranch and you've got to wake up and clean up the horse manure every freaking weekend?
I mean, that's the only way.
That's all I'm saying.
Be brown and proud, Puto.
Ghost Christmas Family Confusion00:03:52
Jesus Christ.
Come on, Noob.
Represent, man.
Come on.
You're brown and proud, right?
Hey, Glenn, do you know what I want this Christmas?
No, no, you're brown and proud, right?
No, I'm Texan.
Yeah, shut it.
Get him off.
Get him off.
What do you want for Christmas?
You want a rubber tortilla, you stupid dumb sellout.
I'm telling you right now, if you were around any freaking Cholos, they'd be whooping your ass right now.
You know what I'm saying?
You know, the bastards that wear the flannel shirts with just the one button on top with the white t-shirt underneath, you know what I mean?
With the freaking khaki dickies, those assholes would be stomping a mud hole in your ass with their converse, man, with their Chuck Taylors.
You know it, and I know it.
So, anyway, let me continue going, folks.
I didn't mean for that to happen.
Once again, we are going to have agitators on this broadcast.
I was just hoping that this is a Christmas Eve edition.
I mean, this is a ghost Christmas.
And I was hoping that these people would have some kind of a heart and not participate in these types of disgusting displays of tomfoolery.
We don't need this crap.
Anyway, let me take some more calls here.
This is a ghost Christmas.
6466524869 is the number to call here.
We got 775 on the horn.
What's up?
How are you doing, ghosts?
Merry Christmas.
How are you doing?
Merry Christmas to you.
How you doing, man?
I'm all right.
You had a talk before about your family, right?
Yeah.
And how they've just kind of ruined your Christmas.
Well, they ruined most of my holidays, really.
Most of my holidays, they really ruined.
But go ahead.
Yeah, I can relate.
Worst thing that ever happened to me on Christmas, you want to know?
What's that?
God, it was horrible.
It was Christmas Eve.
I was nine years old.
Me and mom were decorating the tree, waiting for dad to come home from work.
A couple hours went by, and my dad wasn't home.
So mom called the office.
No answer.
It was Christmas Day, and it came and went, and still nothing.
So the police began a search.
Four or five days went by.
Neither one of us could eat or sleep.
Everything was.
Yeah, and you know, this story sucks, all right?
I mean, that's enough airtime for Christ's sake.
I mean, you pre-wrote this.
I mean, you pre-wrote this crap for Christ's sake, man.
I mean, you couldn't come up with a little bit more fluidity after pre-writing this.
I mean, hey, we know we know when you sleep, baby.
Shut up, all right?
Jesus Christ, get the story straight.
It's a Christmas special for Christ's sake, man.
Jesus Christ.
571, what's up?
You got something to say?
Freaking vibrator, for Christ's sake.
Ryan Parsons, what's up?
Ghost of a hambone.
I'm telling you, I'm not taking this, all right?
I am not taking this.
This is a Christmas Eve edition.
I shouldn't have to be expecting any of this crap.
So we're just going to completely disregard these particular calls, all right?
Son of a bitch.
909, what's up?
That's folk.
Me.
Girl, can be son of a freaking bitch, for Christ's sake, man.
Look, I don't want to hear these stupid remixes right now.
Do you understand that?
I mean, I'm trying to have a ghost Christmas here.
Do you understand?
Trying to Have a Ghost Christmas00:05:43
I mean, that's what we're doing.
We're having a freaking ghost Christmas.
I don't even have to be here, right?
I'm taking time out of my Christmas Eve, all right, to be with you idiots.
So don't sit over here and give me this crap, all right?
I deserve a little respect around here.
Jesus Christ.
Here, who else we got?
We got 423.
What's up?
You're on a ghost Christmas.
Hello, Ghost.
How are you?
How's it going?
Going great.
This is Musicins.
I talked to you the first time on Powell Talk.
I just wanted to know what you're drinking tonight and what your best gift was at Christmas, whether it be childhood or adulthood.
That's all I got to say.
And I'm going to get the bib off Cafe Press.
I didn't know that you actually had children's show.
I know that we talked previously where my son was the one that found you online.
And I have a two-and-a-half-month-old son.
And I'm going to get that bib and I'll tweet it to you when I get it.
Oh, that'd be so great.
You know what?
Thank you very much for the tweets.
I always receive them.
And once again, I want to thank you for listening.
And thank you for letting your son listen because there's a lot of people that are out here.
Believe it or not, we actually had a mom call up and said that I shouldn't be talking capitalist propaganda to their son.
I mean, she called up saying, I can't believe you're sitting here telling these kids to go eat steak and stuff.
They can't go eat steak.
They can't go eat steak.
What?
Anyway, as far as the drinks that I'm drinking, I'm drinking a whole barrage of drinks.
I mean, right now, I've got myself a can of Modello Especial.
I'm probably going to go get, I've got some kind of Oriental beer.
I just started grabbing beers from the liquor store.
I just started grabbing them, you know, six packs.
Started grabbing them.
I got some kind of freaking Oriental beer.
It's got some freaky Chinese writing on it.
It kind of looks a little lager-based, so that's why I decided to go ahead and drink some of it, take some of that.
I also got some spotting for you folks that are beer connoisseurs.
Got myself a little spotting.
I believe it's from Germany.
Look, Swaga Schliegen Sloggin!
Looks like also hooked me up with a little bit of single malt scotch.
And believe it or not, I had to hook it up with some 25-year-old McHallen single malt because they ran out of Johnny Walker Blue Label.
Can you believe this freaking crap?
They ran out of Johnny Walker Blue Label, man.
Everybody and their brother went to go buy it.
Can you believe this crap?
I mean, this crap's $300, $400 a bottle, and the crap was cleared off the shelf.
So anyway, I had to buy myself, you know, $300,000, $400 bottle of McAllen, age 25 years, single malt scotch, not blended.
Single malt scotch.
Excellent stuff.
Going to drink some of that.
Also got some Louis Covassier.
You know what it's all about, man.
I'm stocked up.
This is Christmas time.
All right.
This is Christmas time.
And for you idiots that are sitting over here flapping your fat Cheeto-stained fingers on the keyboard talking all this garbage that I'm an alcoholic.
I'm not an alcoholic, you jerks.
I'm a connoisseur.
I mean, an alcoholic drinks the same bottle of Kentucky Fried Chicken Piss every single day because he wants to get drunk for the cheapest price possible.
I don't want to get drunk for the cheapest price possible.
I want to consume alcoholic beverages so that I can appreciate the taste and the nuances and the flavorings and the history and the craftsmanship behind the libation in question.
That's right.
I'm a goddamn connoisseur.
You're goddamn right.
And as far as my best gift I ever had in my life, Jesus Christ.
I would probably have to say that one Christmas I decided to go out and get myself a Rolex Watch Sea Master and decided to buy it and have it mailed to me.
I mean, actually, not really mail, but have it like couriered to me while I was in a meeting with my staff.
Anyway, long story, all right?
Anyway, it was probably one of the greatest, best presents that I've ever had in my life.
But I had to give it to myself, unfortunately.
So, welcome to America.
Anyway, thanks for calling, Misty Kins.
I appreciate you listening in.
I appreciate your family listening in.
And please buy that bib.
All right?
Because, you know, people thought I was a joke.
All right, when I put that bib up for sale.
I'm talking about the true capitalist bib.
That's right.
If you've got yourself a baby, well, then, by God, raise him to be a capitalist by going out to the true capitalist store, all right, at ghostpolitics.com and hook it up with a damn true capitalist bib, baby.
All right?
Anyway, thanks a lot.
Let's take some more calls.
This is a ghost Christmas.
I'm excited.
I hope that you're excited.
Area coach 720, what's up?
You're on a ghost Christmas.
Am I on?
Yeah, you're on, man.
What's going on?
You had a party or what?
Servicing Glory Holes at Danny's00:02:59
No, I'm just servicing Glory Holes at a Danny's right here.
You should come and join me.
Oh, my God, you sick son of a bitch.
Are you really servicing?
It sounds like it actually sounds what it sounds like there.
Are you joking?
I'm servicing Glory Holes at a Daddy ghost.
Jeez, why do you have to call me a liar?
Oh, my goodness.
He's not a racist.
Jesus Christ.
Are you getting a lot of look at some old scrotums out there?
I'm sure there's a lot of old scrotums out there that's out there.
I'm getting a lot of look at some old scrotums out here.
You call me a liar?
I'm servicing glory holes at Denny's in California.
Of course.
Oh, it all comes clear now, huh?
California.
Of course.
Jesus Christ.
Give me my drink for Christ's sake.
Good, geez.
Jesus Christ.
I mean, that's gross, man.
That's gross.
But listen, this is the new fruity America that we're living in.
These people have no care on the world.
You know?
That's why I don't like going into public bathrooms anymore, for Christ's sake.
You know what I mean?
I mean, because let's be honest.
I mean, most male bathrooms, all they have is a freaking trough.
You know, crap that's usually meant for pigs to eat.
That's what they give males to piss.
I kid you not.
I mean, women, they got their own separate stalls.
You know, they can take their own turds separated with doors and dividers, so on and so forth.
No, no, no, no.
Men, in most men's bathrooms, they give you a freaking trough, an open trough, and you've got to go out there and pull out pecker chaff when about six or seven or eight dudes are pulling out pecker chaff and taking a damn dirty yellow bubbly piss.
I kid you not, for Christ's sake, man.
And in the middle of all this, believe it or not, there's at least two or three idiots that are looking at everybody's schlong for Christ's sake.
I mean, you can see their faces, man.
They're sitting there looking at it for Christ's sake, man.
It's gross.
I don't use public bathrooms, man.
I don't.
I'm sorry.
I don't, man.
I don't.
I mean, even the shit stalls now, for Christ's sake, man.
These idiots are so brazen at these freaking damn bathrooms, especially in these damn liberal cities out here, they'll straight start grabbing your foot, man, from under the shit stall, man.
God damn it.
And then what's unfortunate is that if you step on their hand or if you kick them in the god kick their, you know, in front of the divider or something, oh, but then you're charged with a hate crime.
Oh, it's a hate crime.
It's a hate crime because all we wanted to do was jerk you off, right?
It's a hate crime.
Now, that's just sick.
It's just sick.
Anyway, well, it's a ghost Christmas.
I'm sorry.
We're headed down a wrong path out here for Christ's sake.
Trans-Testicle Porn Star Caller00:03:00
We're going to head in and talk to Santa here in a little bit.
But I want to hear from you.
646-652-4869.
It is a ghost Christmas here.
And I hope that you're having a great time as much as I'm having a great time.
Area code 818, what's up?
You're on a ghost Christmas.
Hey, ghost.
I just want to tell you Merry Christmas.
And I want to know if I can interrupt your package for Christmas this year.
Oh, my God.
I mean, with all due respect, are you trans-testicle by any chance?
Yeah, I'm actually a trans-testicle porn star in me daily.
Oh, my God.
Oh, so you're the one that's always tweeting me, you know, with these ridiculous tongue-in-cheek sarcastic tweets that I really don't appreciate, huh?
Yeah.
Should I say tongue-in-hole?
Should I say, go ahead.
Tongue-in-hole.
I like that.
I'm a big fan of tongue-in-hole, but I find it.
Okay, you know, since you admitted you are a trans-testicle porn star, are you making grip with that?
I'm doing all right.
I'm paying my bills.
I'm in life, baby.
How are you living?
Are you living in L.A.?
You're living in one of those big metropolises?
I live down in Studio City.
Yeah, well, at least you're living the life out there, so you're doing a pretty decent living.
I mean, so are you your own content producer or are you signed with somebody?
I produce my own content, but I'm also contracted with another company to put the content out.
So kind of producing my own stuff, but I have somebody else, like a distribution company.
Really?
So what made you go into that avenue of work?
Was it the fact that you couldn't really be an open trans-testicle in regular everyday life and be able to be, I don't know, you know, like an everyday, like I hear on Jerry Springer all the time.
You know, these trans-testicles always have to fool the guy because, you know, most guys ain't going to want to be down with that crap.
You know, I don't know, maybe not anymore.
Maybe most guys are.
Or is it just something?
You just like sexual gratification.
You like, you know, you know, prostate massages, the whole nine yards, and you might as well get paid for it.
I love the prostate massages.
I love the stacks.
I love, you know, I love unwrapping guys' packages.
Like, that's what I want to call.
I want to unwrap your package, Ghost.
Oh, my God.
No, please.
No, no.
I appreciate you being so candid about you being a trans-testicle porn star and all that other nonsense.
But please take about 10 steps away from my freaking butt crack.
All right.
I mean, seriously, for Christ's sake.
I mean, seriously, I mean, stop.
Stop.
All right?
Because, I mean, I know you tweet me all the time for Christ's sake.
And I kind of figured that there was something wrong there.
You know, I mean, if we were in a bar room or something, I'd have to do the whole crocodile Dundee test on you, and I would have been right.
Prostate Massages and Package Unwrapping00:15:41
Am I correct?
I don't know what you mean.
Well, I'm sorry.
Anyway, at least thanks for calling and being, you know, at least somewhat respectable.
And thanks for being a good sport, even though you're a trans-testicle.
Anyway, let's take some more callers here.
We're having all kinds on a ghost Christmas here.
All right?
All kinds on a ghost Christmas.
I want to hear from you.
646-652-4869.
A special edition of the True Capitalist Radio Broadcast.
I want to hear from you.
What do you got to say about it?
Area code 336, what's up?
Jesus Christ, can you fix your phone, asshole?
973, what's up?
Hello.
How's it going?
How do I shot Webb?
What?
How do I shot Web?
What are you saying?
Can you say that a little bit more clear?
How do I shot Webb?
And can you give me battle toads?
Jesus Christ.
That meme is older than the crustaceans on your mother's poontang, for Christ's sake.
520, what's up?
Why are you second fight?
Jesus Christ, we can't understand you, idiots.
You understand?
If I can't understand what you're saying the first time, I'm cutting you off, dick licks.
Jesus Christ, 508, you're on the horn.
Hey, Ghost, I just want to wish you a Merry Christmas, and I hope your extended family doesn't ruin your holiday at all.
Hey, man, I appreciate it, but too late.
You know, they're going to show up tomorrow.
All right?
They're going to show up tomorrow, and it's going to ruin the whole goddamn day.
Because I don't really like these people.
You know, I mean, my wife, you know, she likes the whole family festivity.
You know, she likes to, you know, decorate.
She likes to make the whole place look like a freaking pottery barn, catalog cover.
But I really don't like hearing these people's problems.
You know, I mean, that's all the holidays is an excuse for.
These jerk asses, you know, talking shit about their stupid problems.
Like, we care.
Like, you're not understanding, baby.
My kids, I can't feed my kids, baby.
You're not understanding, baby.
You know, and what am I supposed to do?
Why are you even bringing this up?
You know, oh, man, I'm in debt, dude, and I just don't know.
Why are you bringing this up?
Because they're trying to suck you out of a donation.
That's right.
They're trying to suck you out of a freaking donation for Christ's sake.
And then there's your own family, man.
Your own freaking family.
Jesus Christ.
And speaking of which, I mean, you know, this is supposed to be the holidays.
The holidays?
Huh?
Oh, it's the holidays!
Have you gone outside here within the past three or four days for Christ's sake?
Have you seen the lunatics that are on the road, that are in the retail locations, for Christ's sake?
These people are lunatics.
All right?
I mean, the holidays at this point in time causes more grief and more financial trouble and more domestic problems than any other time in history.
to be like, it's the...
Area code 213, you're on the horn.
Hey, Ghost, I want to know what are you going to admit?
Are you going to.
Hello?
Yeah.
Yeah, you stubbling, mumbling little jerk.
Yeah, you know, you better have hung up.
You better have hung up, boy.
Area code 928, what's up?
Hello, ghost.
How's it going?
Hello, Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas to you.
How's it going, man?
King wishes you a Merry Christmas.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
You know what, bro?
That's a major fail.
You know that, right?
You know that, right, you Skankosaurus.
I mean, major fail.
Jesus Christ.
I mean, I can smell you from here, you Skankosaurus.
You don't even douche, do you?
Am I right, 928?
Come on, you smell like bad tuna, am I right?
That's what I thought.
Just sit there and shut your mouth.
As a matter of fact, get in the kitchen and make somebody a hambone this Christmas Eve, for Christ's sake.
Because you sure as hell ain't kicking up no knowledge on this end.
Jesus Christ.
940, what's up?
You're on a ghost Christmas.
Oh, yeah, hey, this is fully called Gold again.
First, I want to say Merry Christmas, y'all, and thanks for doing this show.
I love this.
I appreciate it.
Second of all, I want to say sorry I hung up last time when you were playing those sweet James and guests minority.
Like, it just made me want to dance so much that I dropped my phone and everything.
We still can't understand you, for Christ's sake.
267, what's up?
Hey, Ghost, it's Moo for Me.
Remember me?
Who's this?
Moo.
Do you remember the private chat you did last night?
Oh, yeah, Moo.
What's going on, Moo?
You know, I just called to say again, you know, despite our differences, I still want to wish you Merry Christmas.
As for New Year's, if you do a show, I mean, I think we both have the same resolution, huh?
You know what that is?
Well, if it means, you know, you taking in the poop, or no, we don't.
All right, I remember who this is.
You were some stupid, dumb jerk off that, you know, couldn't get a clue that we didn't want to hear your moo ass, all right?
As a matter of fact, I got your mother over here, Moo.
You want to talk to her?
Here, hey, hey, hey, hey, come over here and talk to us.
Go over and talk to your son, Moo, over here.
Go talk to him.
Here's your mother right here, for Christ's sake, Moo.
You hear?
Say hi to this freaking heifer.
Say hi.
That's right, Moo.
And let me tell you something right now.
If you call back, I'm going to auction this bitch off online right now and make a slab of T-bones and a freaking T-bone steak out of this bitch.
All right?
Tell your son to stop talking and stop calling me there, bro.
Tell her.
You heard.
Son of a bitch.
I'll auction your mother off.
You call up again, Moo.
Despite our differences.
You're a stupid loser.
That's our difference.
You know, you're the kind of guy that goes into somebody's house, takes a big, gigantic, juicy, disgusting, smelly turd, and doesn't flush it because you feel that somebody else needs to admire your work, you sick son of a bitch.
443, what's up?
You're here on a ghost Christmas.
Hey, Ghost, you hung up on me before, but this is Ponytoast from True Equestria Radio wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas.
Hell, you're from True Equestria Radio?
Yes, sir.
And I love your show.
I listen to it all the time, and I wish that you would just do me the greatest solid and call into True Equestria Radio one of these days and just talk.
I'm sorry, man.
I can't.
I can't do it.
I just can't do it, man.
I mean, if I do that, then these freaking bronies over here will sit over here and say, look, he's a brony.
Yay, he's one of us.
Yay, yay, one of us.
Yay, yay, one of us.
No, I'm not, you stupid, disgusting, talking horse fetish pieces of over-feminized crap.
No, I'm not.
So sorry there, ponytoast, you flabby bastard.
Excuse me.
Ghetto Christmas, what's up?
You're on the horn.
Happy Force Night of Hanukkah Ghost.
I'm not a Jew asshole, alright?
I'm celebrating Christmas tonight.
You understand that?
Oh, yeah, my bad.
Listen, I was calling because I was wondering, what are you going to get Caroline for Hanukkah?
Did you get her a new...
Shut up, all right?
Shut up.
Shut up.
I don't want to hear that crap right now, alright?
Not in the mood.
All right, 732, what's up?
You're on the horn.
You're on a ghost Christmas.
Hey, buddy.
Hey, how's it going, man?
I think you're a secret Muslim.
Is this true?
I'm a secret Muslim.
How do you figure that?
I have a big feeling about it.
For some reason, you don't seem too Christmassy for me.
I don't seem too Christmassy for you, for Christ's sake.
I mean, what should I be doing?
Should I be eating some ham?
Should I eat a ham right now?
I'll eat some ham for you right now.
I just want to take a big hambone and just.
Yeah, I know.
No, you don't even have to finish it.
Just by the over-feminine projection of your voice, I know exactly what you want to do with that hambone.
You want to grease it up and you want to put it in some area that usually is an exit only, you stupid sick son of a bitch.
Now, all of a sudden, all of a sudden, a Muslim, for Christ's sake.
I went from Jew to Muslim.
That's just great.
Jesus Christ.
Anyway, we are now in the second hour.
All right, the second, that's right.
It's already the second hour of the True Capitalist Radio broadcast.
The special Christmas Eve edition of the True Capitalist Radio broadcast.
And of course, I am your host, the man they call Ghost.
And once again, folks, I want to thank you very much for tuning in with me.
Before we get into anything else, I'd like to go ahead and give out some shout-outs.
We don't have the engineer here with us.
Of course, he's out there with his family at, you know, I don't know, some non-profit location and, you know, celebrating Christmas in some fashion.
He ain't here.
He ain't here.
So we're just going to go ahead and, you know, I'm going to try to do this myself.
Hopefully, we don't get bombarded by a bunch of disgusting, despicable troll terrorists who want to make me look like some kind of a jag off on Christmas Eve.
But if you want a shout-out right here, right now on the broadcast, all you have to do is retweet the first tweet on my Twitter account right now.
And of course, the Twitter account name is Ghost Politics.
All right?
All one word, no underscores, Ghost Politics.
It's right up there on the screen.
All you have to do is retweet that first tweet on the Twitter account.
And we'll go ahead and give you a shout-out right here, right now.
Let's go ahead and do that.
Let's see.
Who do we got here?
We got Cosmo CB in the house.
What's going on?
We've got Gifts for Ghost.
Oh, that's sweet, huh?
That's sweet.
Gifts for Ghosts.
We got Ghost Foot Fetish.
I don't have a foot fetish, you idiot.
As a matter of fact, idiots with foot fetish need to be repeatedly hit in the head with a foreign object.
All right?
It's a foot.
It's a stinky, smelly foot.
All right?
Jesus Christ, foot fetish.
Just shove it up, your ass.
Who else we got?
We got Axe Man 3315 in the house.
We got LOL Ghost Granny.
Let me tell you something, you sexy crap.
I think I've already explained this to you about a thousand times, all right?
Don't be talking about my granny.
I'm not joking.
Don't be talking about my granny.
It's Christmas Eve, all right?
All right, it's Christmas Eve, and I don't want you to be talking about my granny that way.
You son of a bitch.
All right, this is the holiday season.
You don't need to be bringing those types of memories up right now, Aaron.
I mean, you understand, this is a very emotionally delicate portion of time for folks at this point in time.
You understand?
Son of a bitch.
Anyway, who else we got?
We got Conservative TNT.
What's going on, man?
We got Inflated Snake in the place.
We've got Ranger Rick was a 10-foot.
I'm not going to say that, you sick son of a bitch.
Who else we got going on?
Who else we got?
We got DJ DJ Mung Dog.
We've got Green Slime Girl.
We got Ghost the Ho-Ho.
Yeah, real funny, you jerk.
We've got the foot job, kid.
Oh, now we're going with this foot-fetish routine.
Is this it?
We're going to go with this foot fetish.
Hey, he doesn't like foot fetishes.
Dude, we just do hardness.
Get a bunch of Twitter dangers.
What's your foot fetish?
Give me a freaking break.
Who else do we got?
We got Sandusky Claws.
Ah, geez.
Oh, come on.
Sandusky Claws.
Look, this is not the time to be making these types of disgusting little jokes.
All right.
This is real sadistic, tasteless humor that you idiots are projecting right here on the broadcast.
It's Christmas Eve, for Christ's sake, man.
Jesus Christ.
Anyway, we got Navy and Meredith.
Oh, what?
Y'all are butt boys?
I didn't realize that.
We got pie-ass grandma.
Who else do we got going on?
We got Flamin' Nipple Chop in the place.
What's going on in the Flamin' Nipple Chop?
Who the hell else do we got over here?
Once again, retweet the first tweet on the Twitter account.
Get shout-out right here, right now.
Who else we got?
We got Titty Tickle.
We've got Drugmaid in the place.
We got Dusky Insertion.
Jesus Christ.
Are you kidding?
You know, that's enough.
I'm not going to say any more of this crap.
I'm not going to say any more of this crap.
I'm not going to say any more of this crap at all, man.
That's just disgusting.
I can't believe that you people can even actually even make jokes about this crap.
I mean, innocent children.
Do you understand that?
Innocent children were victimized by this disgusting, despicable monster.
And you idiots are making jokes about this?
Like it's some freaking wise crack or something, like it's something to do.
Like, eh, I want to do that.
Sandusky Claws.
Sandusky bathroom attendant.
Yeah, yeah.
Just give me a freaking break.
All right?
Jesus Christ, you sick sons of bitches.
All right, that's what you are.
You people are sick sons of bitches.
All right?
I said it.
You people are sick sons of bitches.
I'm not.
Hey, all you people that are in there flapping your fat Cheeto-stained fingers on the keyboard talking about chat room shout-outs, hey, shove it up your ass, all right?
You people are already starting to piss me off.
It's Christmas Eve, for Christ's sake, God damn it.
Jesus Christ.
Anyway, I want to hear from you, all right?
I mean, hopefully we have some legitimate callers.
We have had some legitimate callers wishing me a Merry Christmas.
I want to thank you for that.
But I want to hear from you.
646-652-4869 is the number to call.
We got crazy monks in the house.
What's going on if you're on a gross gross?
Hardcore Play on Christmas Eve00:14:48
You're on a rabble.
Winter rabble.
Let's finish our holidays here.
Rabble, winter, rabble.
Cause tomorrow's bringing in.
You know, that's why I was stumbling and mumbling right there.
I knew.
I just felt the brony.
That's all I had.
I felt the goddamn brony.
Son of a bitch.
301.
You're on a ghost Christmas.
I'm glad you're dead.
You know?
I'm glad my granny is dead.
I'm glad.
You're a real son of a bitch.
You know that?
You know, you idiots.
I've told you, you know, not to talk about my granny.
All right.
I mean, it's not a joke either, man.
I mean, my granny meant a lot to me.
She was a pious woman that never hurt a soul.
All right?
She never cursed in her life.
All right?
Whenever she made food for us, all right, you know what she did when there was food left over?
She'd go and give it to the neighbor.
She'd go give it to folks down the street.
You understand?
She was the most respected woman in the town.
Son of a bitch.
And you people are making fun of her memory.
You idiots, you're lucky.
This ain't no goddamn barroom, boy.
You're lucky this ain't no goddamn barroom because I'd stomp a mud hole in your ass and then kick it dry and then take a dirty diarrhea shit in it and all you can do is walk back at me with a brown smile about it.
That's what you need to look back at me with a brown smile about it, you sick-twisted bricks.
But you know, you people are so sick, you probably like that sick-twisted crap, huh?
Yeah, I bet you idiots, half of you idiots in here have hemorrhoid popping fetishes, huh?
Oh, yeah, I bet you're one of these sick-twisted idiots.
You're like, yeah, let me see that sliced tangerine-looking thing when they ran.
Ah, I take it!
Jesus Christ!
I mean, look at what you people are making me do for Christmas, man.
It's Christmas!
I mean, I gotta calm down here.
These people are gonna call the cops on me for Christ's sake.
It's your fault, man.
It's your you people.
It's you freaking people online's fault.
Jesus Christ.
Oh, my God.
I'm sick.
I'm just sick.
This is supposed to be a special edition.
It's supposed to be a Christmas Eve edition.
Jesus Christ.
Give me the man.
Give me the freaking freaking all the stuff on this desk of me.
This is my home office here.
I got all this freaking stuff all over the freaking desk, man.
Jesus Christ, man.
Jesus Christ.
Where's my drink?
Give me a drink for Christ's sake.
Even though you idiots are making me a little upset, I know that the wife is, you know, in the next room.
As a matter of fact, she is in the next room, man.
Let me go in the next room, man.
What am I doing?
This is the office.
Let me go in the next room and see how this is going here, huh?
Let's see.
How's it going?
Yeah, I want to get something to drink here.
She's making some cookies here.
What is this crap?
Oatmeal.
Jesus Christ, you're going to make me sound like one of these fruit bowls that I'm talking against online over here, for Christ's sake.
Jesus Christ.
Oatmeal?
I ain't eating that crap.
That's for Caroline.
That's for her.
I'll make it for sugar ones.
All right, yeah, she's making me some sugar cookies.
Matter of fact, I need some more of them sugar cookies on the double here.
All right?
Now, you know what?
I don't know what I'm going to drink here.
What should I drink?
No.
Yeah, can you send you some Covassier on ice?
All right?
It's Christmas time.
Do you understand that?
It's Christmas time here.
It's Christmas.
Jesus Christ.
Anyway, everybody's saying Merry Christmas to you.
Of course, we got some vulgar, disgusting ass clowns in here.
Jesus Christ.
Hey, as a matter of fact, man, we should call Santa here in about 10, 15 minutes.
You know, for all you folks that don't know, you know, me and Santa, we used to be old drinking chums, you know, back in the day.
You know what I mean?
Oh, no, no, no kidding, man.
I'd be old drinking chums, for Christ's sake.
As a matter of fact, you know, Santa, he doesn't really particularly care about what you're serving him to drink.
You know what I'm saying?
I mean, he's had sour milk his whole life.
I mean, this man can literally drink some goddamn disgusting rot gut crap.
And that's all there is to it.
Anyway, thanks a lot.
All right, I'm going to just go ahead and keep baking.
All right.
And keep baking.
And, you know, I'll let you know when I need another drink.
All right?
All right.
All right.
Here we go.
Anyway, folks, we're in, once we call it, 11 minutes into the second hour of the damn Christmas Eve edition of the True Capitalist Radio broadcast.
Good freaking Cavasier, for Christ's sake.
You know what I'm saying?
Good freaking Cavasier open here.
Anyway, I want to hear from you.
All right, 646-652-4869.
It's Christmas time.
703, what's up?
You're on a ghost Christmas.
I'm going to have my grandmother do the black guy handshake on my half-inch penis, all right?
You son of a bitch.
I told you, idiots.
I told you.
I told you time and time again not to talk about my granny.
Son of a bitch.
Don't talk about my goddamn granny again.
I'm warning you.
I'm warning you.
Anyway, 512, you're on the horn.
Felice Navidad.
Nanasana.
Felice Navier.
Nanasana.
Felice Navier.
And I'm going to stop it.
Okay, great.
Yeah, alright.
You mix me with some freaking Mexican Christmas song.
Yeah, great.
All right?
Great.
All right, that's just great.
I'm fabulous.
All right?
Fabulous.
As a matter of fact, I know that we have a big Mexican contingent that listens to the True Capitalist Radio.
So, Felice Narvida for all the Mexicans that are out there listening in across the internet and throughout the world.
All right, Felice and Narvi Dar.
All right?
Anyway, look, we want to hear some serious callers here.
We don't want to hear any more of these goddamn stupid little audio files.
Be original, all right?
All right, talk some shit or something, all right?
Jesus Christ.
Here, let's get a Helen Keller deaf mute.
You're on the air.
Yeah, how typical, right?
How typical.
I got teeth cancer.
Teeth cancer on the air.
He's shoving a damn microphone up his pooper, for Christ's sake.
Can we get somebody on the horn here, please?
518, what's up?
You're on a ghost Christmas.
Hi, Ghost.
I was originally going to call the Troll Paris, but I was kind of inspired by what you said about your little eight-year-old problem that you got.
And I think I had a story that you might be able to relate to.
Yeah, well, I don't really care.
You sound like one of these fruit bowls that's probably servicing a glory hole.
347, what's up?
This is crap.
You know what?
I mean, I thought that we were going to get a little freaking, you know, a ghost Christmas Eve special.
Everything was going to be great for Christ's sake.
But you know what?
You idiots want to play rough, huh?
You want to play rough?
Is that it, huh?
You want to play rough on Christmas Eve, you freaking troll terrorists, huh?
You idiots want to play rough?
You want to continue making those stupid, disgusting YouTube videos about me?
You want to continue to agitate my broadcast?
You want to continue to besmirch me, boy?
You want to play rough, huh?
Huh?
I'm sitting here.
I'm trying to be somebody who is trying to be of some what composure, for Christ's sake, all right?
I'm trying to be a nice guy.
But you idiots continue to suck me into this freaking disgusting, despicable, juvenile level.
And that's it.
You want to continue, huh?
You want to throw some goddamn verbal fisticuffs with me, you piece of crap, huh?
Huh?
You know, I was trying to be Mr. Nice Ghost over here, all right?
I was trying to be Mr. Nice Christmas Eve ghost over here, huh?
Oh, but you want to play rough, huh?
You want to play rough?
Okay, I play rough, okay?
You want me to get hardcore on your ass, huh?
You want me to get freaking hardcore?
Because I can get freaking hardcore.
I can get really freaking hardcore, even if it is Christmas Eve.
I can get hardcore.
You want to see how hardcore I can get, you sorry sacks of crap?
You useless pieces of disgusting digital terrorist cyber vermin horse crap?
Huh?
You want to see hardcore, huh?
Uh-oh.
Yeah, let's get freaking hardcore.
Freaking Christmas Eve!
Freaking hardcore!
What do you ask for?
To make this up!
All your core!
I think people can always have human life asked for it.
You disgusting sick snot!
You still have to get laugh at!
Yeah!
I'm gonna get hardcore!
You wanna be!
Always hardcore!
This is supposed to be Christmas Eve!
This is supposed to be Christmas Eve!
You wanna be one of your hardcore?
You wanna get hardcore in your Quick?
Yeah!
Capitalist Army for life!
Yeah!
What the Little Ricky!
I used to please you!
Yeah, check!
One, two, three, and three!
Hardcore!
You want to see hardcore?
I feel hardcore.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Always hardcore.
Who else is hardcore up here?
Who else is hardcore up here?
Are you all a bunch of bugs?
Are you all a bunch of freaking ass cripples?
I'm dancing here.
I'm at it.
One.
I'm asking for your hardcore.
One.
Are you hardcore?
Always hardcore.
I'm this.
I'm banning over here.
I'm dead.
I'm in.
I'm hardcore.
Are you hardcore?
Are you hardcore?
Christ.
My heart's beating like a rabbit for Christ's sake.
And for y'all that want to know that freaking song, it's by some fruity ass German named Scooter.
It's called One, for Christ's sake.
Jesus Christ.
My heart's beating like a rabbit for Christ's sake.
But you answer it.
You, Jesus.
You want me to get hardcore up in here, huh?
You want me to get hardcore?
Well, I'm hardcore for Christ's sake, all right?
I'm kicking ass and taking names, all right.
This is hardcore ghost now, for Christ's sake.
Ruining Christmas with Random Calls00:09:17
As a matter of fact, let's see how many people are on the line right now that are hardcore.
I'm just going to start randomly calling names and randomly calling area codes.
And when I call them, you're on the air.
All right?
Say whatever you're going to say.
This is a cluster F phone call.
Let's go ahead and call it right now: 832-215.
All right?
We got 5-7-1.
We got Mr. Hola.
Who else we got?
We got 720-818.
We're over the sky.
It's sad.
This is a sad display for Christmas Eve.
But this is what these people are doing for Christmas Eve.
This is what these people are doing for Christmas Eve.
Does everybody hear all of this?
Listen to these jerk carriers.
Listen to them.
That horrible plant.
That horrible piano, idiot.
That's a horrible piano.
Horrible.
Just get that candle for Christmas or something, you jerk?
Just get it for Mammy for Christmas.
We'll remain on.
Get her down for Christ's sake.
This is ridiculous.
Chris, shut up.
All of you idiots.
Shut your holes.
All of you, please.
Shut up.
Jesus Christ.
Everybody heard that?
That's what people are doing on Christmas Eve, for Christ's sake, huh?
That's it, right there.
I hope you're happy.
973, what's up?
You're on a ghost Christmas.
I just wanted to say one thing.
What?
I heard your ass bleeds for bronies.
That's all.
Yeah, I'm sure, you stupid fruity bastard, all right?
You shove your bronies up your ass, all right?
You're ruining.
All you idiots are ruining my Christmas Eve, all right?
That's what you're doing.
All of you, you're ruining my Christmas Eve.
Jesus Christ, I need to drink more, is what I need to do.
That's the only thing that's going to make me feel better.
You know that?
Because drinking is what I like to do.
Ah, good stuff.
Anyway, let's continue.
Go, look, I want to talk to somebody who's actually having a good Christmas, all right?
Hey, Equestrian Citizen, are you having a good Christmas?
What's going on?
Good, dog.
How's it going?
How's your Christmas ghost?
Well, my Christmas is all right, as you can see, or as you heard, the wife is back there.
She's cooking like she should be.
She's out there making some pies.
She's making cookies.
She's doing all the festivities, nonsense.
And, you know, it's going to be a great Christmas until the extended family members arrive.
Well, you know what?
I hope you're asking the Merry Christmas.
I've been noticing that since the beginning of this broadcast, your racism has really went down, and I really appreciate that.
And yeah, this is great.
So, Merry Christmas.
Happy New Year, Minigan.
Hey, man, no, I appreciate it.
You know, it's about time that somebody of the ethnic persuasion starts recognizing that I am not a racist, that I'm a melting pot of friendship.
You know what?
I really appreciate it.
I really appreciate it.
Oh, thanks, man.
I've noticed that it's went down a bit since the last time I called in.
But, you know, just so long as, you know, stereotypes are our fried chicken.
I don't mind that.
But just so long as you don't go blatantly being racist, that's okay.
Merry Christmas, Minigan.
Hey, Merry Christmas.
What are you going to do for Christmas, man?
What's the festivities?
What you got planned?
Well, I just invited my mama over for tomorrow, and today's Eve.
I ain't doing nothing.
So we're just waiting for tomorrow to come along, and the teeth are going to get their presents, and we all just going to chill.
Man, if you were around me, I'd give you a bean pie, but I'm pretty sure you're pretty far away from me.
So Merry Christmas or happy Kwanzaa, whatever your, you know, whatever your festivities are.
Let me go ahead and take another drink of this.
Really, really good.
Who else we got?
931, you're on the horn.
What's up?
I like chicken.
You like chitlins?
Is that what you said?
I like chicken.
You like chitlins?
Brody.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
I mean, we're the parents on this, huh?
Aren't you supposed to be in bed?
Santa is not going to go and give you presents for Christmas.
As a matter of fact, we're going to patch into him here in the next couple of minutes, and we're going to see where the hell he's at.
But you idiots should be in bed.
All right?
You people should be in bed.
Jesus Christ.
Santa's going to give you a lump of coal in your ass.
This is what he's going to do.
907, what's up?
Happy Halloween, ghost.
It's not Halloween, asshole.
It's Christmas.
All right, what are you talking about?
Happy Halloween.
Are you out doing freaking Christmas trick-or-treating?
What are you doing?
Well, yeah, City.
He doesn't know what the hell whether he's coming or going, for Christ's sake.
He's probably getting drunk on some cheap-ass bottle of hooch.
You know, that same hooch that all them Indians in India got drunk on.
505, what's up?
You're on the horn.
Hey, ghosts.
This is Star Trek.
I just want to wish you a Merry Christmas.
I hope your holidays are going well.
Hey, well, no, they're going all right.
I mean, you know, with the exception of the show and these troll terrorists and cyber vermin calling me up and disturbing me, everything's not bad.
It's pretty decent, for Christ's sake.
You know what I mean?
I mean, you know, this is a Christmas edition.
518, you're on the horn.
I think we already called on your stupid sorry ass.
What am I talking about?
How about 2-2?
You're on the horn.
Hey, 2-2, you there?
What?
Christmas tree.
Oh, Christmas tree.
I want to be with thee.
And I'm with my family.
And we're singing with glee.
I mean, you idiots made a Christmas carol.
I mean, I'm Jesus Christ.
They're making ghost Christmas carols for Christ's sake, man.
I don't even want to do this show.
I don't even want to freaking crap anymore, man.
These people have ruined my ghost Christmas, man.
They've ruined it.
They've ruined my ghost Christmas.
That's what they've done, and I really don't appreciate it.
I don't appreciate it whatsoever.
I mean, this is supposed to be a happy, jolly time of year.
Look at you people.
Look at you people.
Jesus Christ.
You know.
I mean, I don't know what to say, man.
I'm speechless, man.
I'm speechless.
I'm freaking speaking.
Give me the mic.
Freaking Mike, for Christ's sake.
I'm speechless.
You know what I'm going to do?
I'm so pissed off right now.
I feel like taking my anger out on somebody.
All right?
I feel like taking my anger out on somebody.
So, you know what I'm going to do?
I'm going to take out my list.
That's right.
I'm going to take out my list that I've been keeping, and I'm going to check it twice.
And I'm going to find out who is naughty or nice.
All right.
That's what we're going to do right now because, you know, I feel like, you know, I'm not the only one that's going to have a bad Christmas.
I'm not the only one that's going to sit over here and have to suffer.
I shouldn't have to suffer.
All right, I do a lot of good for the community out here.
I do a lot of good for the world just by coming on here and doing this broadcast.
All right?
I do a lot of good for the world out here.
Threatening Messages and Drunk Callers00:14:42
So let me just go ahead and let me go ahead and call one of these numbers that are in the list here.
How about that?
That's right.
Let's call one of these numbers in the list here.
One of these racists.
One of these idiots that were racist, for Christ's sake.
Let's call this guy.
How about this?
Call this guy.
See what he's doing.
All right.
Let's see what he's doing.
Maybe they're having a Christmas party.
How about that, huh?
Maybe they're having a nice little Christmas party where they have the eggnog out with glee.
Let's see what we got.
Yo.
Hello.
Yeah, hello?
Yeah, did somebody just call over here and just yell at my grandmother?
Um, no, dude, I'm sorry.
I think you've got the wrong number.
No, no, I've got the right number.
Are you all having some kind of nefarious party over there?
I'm going to call the cops right now if somebody doesn't give me a straight answer right now.
Um, dude, I don't know what the hell you're talking about.
Are you all having like any kind of marijuana or any kind of young underage drinking over there?
Because I'm going to make sure to call the police unless somebody gives me an answer on who's messing around with the phone over there.
I'm not messing around, guy.
I'm not messing around with you.
How about this?
How about this?
Get this straight.
Tell me which address you think this party is going on at, huh?
I've got the address right here.
I have it on the caller ID, sir, and I did a reverse look.
No, the street address, dude.
I'm saying the street address.
Now let me say it out loud first.
I can confirm with you if this is the actual address.
All right, I'm right now at my house with a bunch of family and my girlfriend's family.
I don't know what the hell you're talking about.
If you want to continue this shit, please confirm that this is the right address.
Look, sir, sir, look, I know that maybe you're trying to flex nuts with your girlfriend being there, but if I were y'all, calm down, sir.
I'd be calming down right now because you're threatening me right now.
What you're doing, you're committing a crime.
You're threatening me over the telephone.
Really?
Am I?
Am I really?
All I'm doing is raising my voice.
I haven't threatened you once.
I'm asking you what the actual address is.
Sir, it sounds like you've also been drinking.
Are you a little inebriated, also, sir?
Also, would you like to continue throwing out the bullshit right now?
Please.
I've been drank once.
I'm sitting here with my friends, my cousin, my sister, my girlfriend, all the people pointing out there.
And you're going to keep throwing this out.
You not know anything about call screening.
It takes a random number and then it sends it out.
Someone obviously pranked called you with something on the internet.
So please, keep your bullshit accusations elsewhere and don't call me again.
Sir, don't threaten me again.
I don't like threats, sir.
I'm recording this phone call and I'll make sure the proper authorities hear it, sir.
Sir, are you there?
Sir!
Woo!
I told you we would get a party.
How did I tell you?
Woo!
I tell you what, we'll call that silly bitch in a little bit.
We'll call him back in just a second.
All right, we'll give him some cool and down time.
All right?
We'll give him some cooling down time.
And what we'll do is we'll go ahead and we'll take some calls right now.
All right, we'll call him back here in just one minute, but we're going to take some calls right now, for Christ's sake, all right?
We're taking calls.
That's what we're doing.
714, what's your excuse?
Hey, what's going on, ghosts?
Happy Christmas, man.
How's it going, man?
How you doing?
Hey, I'm doing pretty good, actually.
Got back from my aunt's Christmas pre-Christmas party, and I'm ready to kick in some new strings that I got from my guitar.
Oh, my God.
Well, you're going to play something or what?
Hell yeah.
You always talk about the Beatles, you know, the Helter Skelter.
Oh, we're getting a Helper Skelter Christmas here.
Help her Skelter!
Yeah, that was pretty good.
As a matter of fact, that's so good.
I'm inspired to call that dude right back.
Let's call him Mac real quick, alright?
Call his ass back.
What?
Uh yes, can I speak to your mother or father, please?
No!
Why?
Because first of all, you were threatening me over the phone, sir.
I'm trying to figure out who's calling my grandmother.
Okay, she's scared over here.
It's Christmas Eve.
Somebody called up talking about that they're gonna bum rush the house.
They're gonna do some kind of home invasion.
They're gonna use troll face masks or something to that effect.
Troll face?
Dude, okay.
Okay, if you want to know what the hell troll face is, they use another thing on the internet.
It's called call screening.
It takes a random ass number from their neighborhood, and it took my number, and it called you with it.
And then when you call back on that number, it's not the same number.
This, I didn't call you.
If you don't know shit about the internet, look that shit up, okay?
Please.
I did not call your fucking grandmother.
Sir, I know.
I'm sitting here fucking.
I'm not a caller ID.
I've got you on my caller ID, sir.
I've got you on the caller ID.
Call screening, motherfucker!
Please!
I didn't call you.
Don't threaten me, sir, because I'm going to take a look at it.
Me cursing is not a threat.
Are you fucking retarded?
Let me tell you, I know you think you're a tough guy because you're in front of that girlfriend, but you don't want to get into fisticuffs with me, sir.
No, no, no, okay, so me cursing isn't thirsty, but you're just threatening to fight me right now, right?
Into fisticuffs?
You're the one that's making a fucking threat.
Sir, look, I mean, look, I'm starting to get a little upset.
I'll be more than happy to just forget about the cops, and we can meet somewhere right now.
Okay?
Oh, so you want to do this?
I would call the cops.
No, I'm going to.
You know what?
If you want to continue this shit, I will call the fucking police.
And you're the one going to get me in trouble.
I didn't do that.
Don't get cops now.
You're scared now.
Don't be getting cops now.
Okay?
Hello?
Huh?
What?
Don't be getting cops now.
I mean, you know, let's meet somewhere right now.
I'll meet you on the corner.
You don't have to meet him now.
Hello?
Hello?
Did you hear him?
Did you hear Dad back there?
Did you hear dad?
You don't have to fight him, son.
You don't have to fight him.
All right?
It's going to be all right.
You don't have to fight him.
Don't fight him.
And believe it or not, folks, I've got this person under my list as a racist.
I mean, this is a person that called up saying the N-word, you know, and he deserves it.
All right?
He deserves this.
He's a racist prick, and he deserves it.
All right?
Now, I'm going to give him a call up here in a little bit here.
Unless he's giving a call up here.
Let me tell you something, man.
Let's take some calls before we call him back.
Let's take some calls here.
Rusky, what's up, man?
Hey, hey, hey, hey, Navy Husky.
You're down in too much porn.
You're downloading too much pornography for Christ's sake.
The upload can't get to the server.
You're coming in all kind of mech, mech, mech, and you're coming in all kind of pausey.
Who else we got?
We got Turdburg.
Well, we already called him Turdburger.
Click off Turdburgler, for Christ's sake.
We got Steve the Master.
What's up?
Yeah, Jesus Christ.
This guy's a s.
Come on.
Who else do we got?
We got 609er on the horn.
up.
It's the Grinch all you want to, alright?
You can call me that all you want to, but let me tell you something right now.
That boy deserves it.
Let me call him back.
Let me see if I can talk to Dad for a second.
Let me see if I can talk to Dad.
Let's go with that.
I know, Grandma.
I know.
Grandma.
Oh, I know, Grandma.
Hello?
Yeah, can I talk to somebody who is of agent?
Sir, can I talk to somebody who's of Asian?
I'll screw with you.
Leave me a message and I'll get back to you.
You got a fruity ass message, for Christ's sake.
Jesus Christ.
Did I ever hear that?
Did I ever hear that?
Hello?
No, I'm just joking.
You're just here, dude.
Leave a message.
Jesus Christ.
One more time, please.
And then we're moving on.
Oh, Grandma.
I know, Grandma.
Hello.
Hello?
I can't hear you.
Stupid.
You're stupid.
I'm going to give you a damn message, you dumbass.
Leave me a message, and I'll get back to you.
Yeah, dude.
At the tone, please record your message.
When you have finished recording, you may hang up or press one for more options.
Look, sir, all right, I'm calling back because I heard an elderly gentleman in the background while you were sitting here threatening me over the telephone, okay?
And it sounded to me that that elderly gentleman, who probably sounded like he had, you know, some sort of prostate problem, has a lot better sense than you do.
You sound like some over-feminized, wannabe-tough guy that's trying to, I guess, bloviate your, I guess, bravado in front of your female in hopes of getting your wiener whack for Christmas Eve.
And it's not going to do it.
All right?
It's not going to do it.
So anyway, I'm out of here.
Anyway, that's enough.
Stupid loser.
Anyway, let's take some calls here.
Anyway, I'm sorry, folks.
I just got tired of literally getting, you know, bamboozled by these goddamn troll terrorists, for Christ's sake.
All right?
I'm just, I'm tired of it.
502, what's up?
You're on a ghost Christmas.
I just want to say Merry Christmas.
Hey, thanks very much.
Merry Christmas to you, huh?
And a happy Kwanza.
And a happy Hanukkah, whatever else you people are, you know, worshiping out there.
412, what's up?
You're on a ghost Christmas.
So, does your granny give you a foot job, too?
Oh, is my granny?
You think I'm cute?
Can you talk to me with a little bit more deeper voice, please?
Talk to me with a little bit more deeper voice right now.
All right, this is better.
Deeper, deeper boy.
Hello.
Man, some 412, and this is the way I sound.
You better talk to me with some bass, boy.
Well, I haven't practiced deep throating yet.
That's where I usually get my body.
Of course.
Yeah, shut up, you stupid, fruity-ass bastard.
Of course.
You're a fruit bowl.
Of course.
Jesus Christ.
717, what's up?
You got a crappy ass phone.
Shove your phone up, you're colon, all right?
It sucks.
Who else we got?
We got 478 in the house.
What's up?
Hey, Poogie, pull me another shot.
Ghost, baby, it's just me.
You didn't go?
Jesus Christ.
No, no, no, no.
Not you.
Not on Christmas Day.
What?
No.
No.
What?
Oh, my God.
Let me tell you, me and Pookie.
Man, Pookie made some pretty good money today.
And, you know, he got a pretty big bottle of Patron.
It's a good dude.
We just smoke off.
I thought I was going to pay attention to it.
Ghetto Capitalist, are you drunk?
I mean, you're soaring your words, for Christ's sake.
Are you intoxicated for Christ's sake?
Oh, God.
Go, God.
I saw itself right now.
You sound it.
You sound belligerently drunk.
You sound sloppy drunk, is what you sound like.
You're a disgusting, despicable, ghetto-fied, sloppy drunk.
That's what you sound like.
Yeah, that, uh, uh, guess for Charles.
I mean, listen to you.
Listen to you.
I mean, I have never heard you so goddamn slobbingly in your freaking vernacular.
I've heard you ghetto in your vernacular, but not slobbingly in this fashion, for Christ's sake.
How much did you have to drink?
We need to miss a gold and we take eight news.
I don't even know, ghost.
But I wanted to talk to you.
Merry Christmas.
Merry dialing.
Merry Christmas.
Oh, my God.
Merry Christmas.
Pookie, pull me into drinking.
Drinking and dialing on Christmas, for Christ's sake.
I am not your girl, all right?
You don't drink and dial, but Church Apple Christmas Podcast.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, you must be really.
Ghetto Capital, you sound really fruity, man.
What are you smoking?
Are you sure you're smoking reefer and not smoking germ?
And it's got your wig fried like a bad firm?
Merry Christmas and happy dog!
I don't know what the fuck is going on right now, ghost.
You know, I gave my baby like four tablespoons of Dabatap to put him to sleep, and me and Pookie, we've just been, you know, balling ever since, baby.
Oh, my God.
This is just too sad.
Do you have any shame, man?
Well, obviously not.
You're sloppy drunk.
I mean, what's going on with you, man?
Are you smoking wet?
I mean, I don't.
Sloppy Drunk Mexican Santa Caller00:15:01
I don't know, ghosts.
But you know what?
I can hear your homies.
I can hear your homies right from here, for Christ's sake.
What kind of a ghetto-fied party are you having?
Are there any kicks at the party?
Are there any chicks with tribal booty at the party by any chance?
Any kicks with tribal booty?
Let me tell you.
Let me tell you a story, Ghost.
Can I tell you a story?
You listen to me real quick.
It'll only take like two minutes.
Well, we'll try to listen to you for Christ's sake.
You're slurring your words, though, man.
You sound like you're speaking another language, but go ahead.
Tell us a story.
Man, you know, we woke up this morning, and, you know, Poogie's made a lot of money, so he decided to take me to Denny's.
And we were sitting there eating at Denny's.
He's like, you want to blow a job?
And of course, Ghost, I'm like, hell yeah, I want to blow a job.
And, you know, he left the table, came back, was like going to the bathroom.
And I stuck, stuck my penis through a gory hole.
Kind of stuck, ghost.
Well, what?
What?
What?
I got my dick stuck in a Denny's bathroom, ghost.
I've never seen anything like that before.
Pookie got your hookup, ghosts.
Oh, my God.
You know what you're listening to, ladies and gentlemen?
The Down Low Brother story from Ghetto Capitalist.
This is a Down Low Brother first-hand story, for Christ's sake.
And I can't believe that you're sharing this with us.
Are obviously inebriated for you exposing yourself to his download brothers.
How much down low brother, ghost?
I got my dick stuck in the bathroom.
Download brothers, don't get their dick stuck in the bathroom, ghost.
What are you talking about?
Who do you think goes at the other end of that bathroom for Christmas?
It could have been a 45-year-old man with a mustache.
What are you talking about?
Just like this kill me.
Let's tell our God.
Man, I've been drinking all day, ghost.
You know, hey, let me share one more piece of information with your listeners before you let me go, ghost.
I'm afraid to even let you talk anymore because you've already fruited up the broadcast.
You have ghetto five fruited up the broadcast.
But what?
What do you have to say?
Somebody pointed out to me on Twitter today that the first of the month is on Sunday, so I'll get my EBT recharged on Friday, ghost.
It's upcoming Friday.
You know, we've already bought white.
I understand what you say about the hair balls and your white ham.
I think ham is a sandwich meat.
You know, around here we rich.
You say that with such goddamn confidence and nonchalantness.
And I even hear Pookie's ghetto ass in the background going up.
I even hear his ass in the background talking about goddamn DBT.
Pookie's playing Madden 2012 on a PS3 right now over the internet, ghosts.
Pookie's good at Madden.
Pookie's good at Madden, ghost.
That's all I got to say.
Pookie's gay.
Just shut up.
Just sit there and shut your stupid stinking ghetto fight hole up, all right?
Jesus Christ.
You see, this is what we get, folks, with our entitlement programs here, all right?
You're witnessing it on this broadcast.
A bunch of ghetto fide jerk dicks collecting our goddamn government entitlements, sitting on their fat jelly asses, sipping on some malt liquor, all right?
Getting drunk on goddamn Christmas Eve and talking about his download brother experiences to the tens of thousands of people listening throughout the year.
And I can't believe that this is happening, folks.
This is a Christmas Eve edition of the True Capitalist Radio broadcast, folks.
And I hate to say it, but we have, you know, partook in a lot of different activities on this Christmas Eve.
I hope that you're appreciating a ghost Christmas.
I'm a little giddy about it, for Christ's sake.
I'll tell you that right now.
I'm giddy.
I did you not.
But anyway, let's continue going, for Christ's sake.
Let's take some more calls.
We got Dat Panda.
Dat Panda, what's up?
You're on the horn.
Hey, baby boy.
It's me, your favorite Mexican.
Jesus Christ, man.
Not even in Europe.
Not even in Europe when this broadcast is like 3 in the morning and this idiot just shut his stupid, stinking, smelly English European wannabe Arab smelling hole.
Jesus Christ.
Oh, my God.
It's just horrific.
You know that?
It's just freaking horrific.
Oh, my God.
Anyway, folks, once again, this is a ghost Christmas.
You know, I know that we're going off Keister to some extent, and I want to extend my apologies for the folks that are listening in and are a little shocked at what's going on here.
But, folks, you know, hey, it's the True Capitalist Radio broadcast, all right?
I mean, what do you expect?
Anyway, let's take some more calls here.
646-652-4869.
It's a ghost Christmas, and I hope that you're having a good time here.
Let's take another caller.
Let's take a Skype caller, shall we?
We got Preston Green Shields.
What's up?
Hey, what's going on, Ghost?
How are you doing, man?
I'm just wondering.
I was actually.
I was actually.
Do you?
Do you you're not into?
You know video games, are you?
Oh I, I'm s.
I wouldn't say uh, I'm a gamer, but I, I'm aware of video games.
Okay okay, never mind.
Because I saw someone with the name OP Ghost when I was playing a game called Battlefield 3 and I thought maybe that's, it's probably you, you stupid idiot.
All right, all you stupid gamers that are out there using my name and pretending to be me on these freaking gaming sites.
I've heard about that crap.
All right, I've heard about it and I want you to stop it.
All right, going on these freaking gamer sites trying.
from Drew Campbell's Radio.
630 what's up?
You're on the horn.
Hi there, I just wanted to wish you a merry Hearth Swimming eve tonight.
Well, I appreciate that.
I guess I don't know.
908 what's up?
Hey Ghost, how's it going?
How's it going man, I'm doing pretty good.
I'm just sitting here listening to some Uncle BS and actually, you know what I think?
Part of the best part of the broadcast was when you were calling that racist guy up, and I think you should call more people on your bad list.
Well, you know, I'm thinking about it, you know I'm thinking about it and, as a matter of fact, you know, before we get into any more calls, let me go ahead and see if we can call up Santa here.
Let me see if we can get Santa on the horn, because we're supposed to get a you know location on where he's at here.
Let me see if we can patch him up on the horn.
Unfortunately, I don't have the freaking engineer here, so I got to do all this crap myself, take a drink while I'm at it, and for you folks that are unaware, we actually have Santa Claus's cell phone number.
Remember, Santa Claus is in modern day technology too.
All right, so here we go.
All right, let's get Santa on the horn here.
Santa, are you there?
Santa oh oh, oh.
Mary Christmas oh oh, oh.
Hey Santa, how you doing man, you know where the hell are you at?
Are you gonna tell us?
You know where you're at who, whose house?
You just went by?
What's going on, Santa?
What's going on?
Oh, we just went by Barack Obama's house oh oh oh, and we gave him a bean pie.
Oh oh, oh.
All right, is this the Mexican Santa?
It sounds like the freaking Mexican Santa.
For Christ's sake, I knew it.
I knew it.
I knew it, I knew it.
Man, I know Santa didn't have business cards for Christ.
I'm sorry folks.
All right, I'm sorry, I mean, I thought we had the inside connect with Santa Claus, but unfortunately it seems to be some drunkard in a basement somewhere.
I'm sorry, I know, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry Freak, are you still there by any chance?
Oh oh oh, I'm right here.
Oh oh, I'm gonna go give you a beer.
Oh oh, Jesus Christ, I know Santa Claus doesn't talk about beer.
For Christ's sake anyway, let me call this one dude back.
See what he's doing.
Hello, I can't hear you.
Oh, he turned his phone off, got the wife in here.
What are you doing?
Hey, get some more alcohol.
We got some VSOP in the place.
Uh oh almost, we almost uh dropped some there.
Let's put some here, All right, we got some VSOP cognac for all the folks that are keeping track with what ghost drinks.
As a matter of fact, what we're trying to do here is we're trying to get some alcoholic beverage company to sponsor the show.
I know there's a bunch of micro brews out there, so if you're listening in, don't be a cheap bastard.
Let's go ahead and get some sponsorships going on over here.
Hey, thank you.
I appreciate it.
Welcome.
All right, now go make some pies and some cakes and whatever the hell else you do.
All right, now let me go ahead and take some more callers here, folks.
All right, this is a true capitalist Christmas, a ghost Christmas.
And I want to hear what you have to say.
Area code 732, you're on a ghost Christmas.
Oh, hey, what are your thoughts on Joe Lieberman?
He's going to be out of the Senate, so who gives a crap?
He's going to be a memory.
All right.
But if you want my personal opinion, complete flip-flopper.
973, what's up?
Yeah, hello.
Are you okay, 973?
You there?
Yeah, what?
Are you all right?
Yeah, why are you calling me?
I'm calling you because I want to wish you a Merry Christmas.
Oh, thanks.
And as a matter of fact, we're the phone caroler, sir.
We're the phone carolers.
And if you don't mind, we want to sing you a carol if that's okay.
Oh, okay.
No, no, my name's not Carolyn, you freak.
I want to sing you a carol, is what I'm saying, a Christmas carol.
Okay, Carolyn.
All right, well, here, here it is.
All right, ready?
Suck a mite, suck a mile, suck a mushlong, suck a mushlong, and suck a mushlong.
You'll suck on my shlong.
You'll suck on my shlong.
You'll be sucking on my shlong.
I'm going to need a microscope until it's freezing.
Suck to my, suck to my, suck to my schlong all night long.
Gonna be sucking on my schlong all night long.
Anyway, what do you think about that carol, sir?
Okay, Carolyn.
Now, shut up, you stupid drunkard.
Anyway, let's get somebody up.
813, you're on the horn.
What's up?
Yeah, what?
Are you all right?
Yeah, why are you calling me?
Jesus Christ, turn on the radio, jerk, dick.
All right.
We got Exara Hawks in the place.
What's going on, Exara Hawks?
Saffing ghost.
How's it going, man?
You got anything to play for Christmas time over here?
Christmas time, time of year?
I can in about a minute.
All right, go ahead.
We'll let you go ahead and set up.
As a matter of fact, let me go ahead and take a drink of this Covas CA.
Damn, I just had to floss today.
But pimping ain't easy because it's necessary.
So I take.
Anyway, I don't want to.
I mean, Ice Cube sucks.
Anyway, you got anything to play there, Xara?
Or you want me to come back to you in a second?
Maybe just a second.
All right, we'll come back to you in just a second, man.
We'll get the piano set up, you know, get the keys and notes situated, and maybe we can hear ourselves a song.
We got Jimmy Kudos.
What's up?
It's so careful!
Just go away!
Just go away, all of you.
All of you.
Just leave me alone!
You son of a bitches, I don't appreciate that one bit, all right?
That last broadcast was really upsetting for me, all right?
And I don't appreciate you idiots making freaking, especially remixes of Michael Jackson, all right?
Freaking Michael Jackson remixes, all right?
I don't appreciate that one bit, all right?
I don't appreciate that one bit, man.
I don't like Michael Jackson very much, all right?
I mean, Michael Jackson's the type of guy that'll go down to the retail clothing location because he's going to hear that he hears on the radio that boys' pants were low.
You know, so he's going to go out there and see what's going on for Christ's sake.
Anyway, who else we got?
We got 909, what's up?
You're on the horn.
Jesus Christ.
Freaking dead Helen Keller deaf mute for Christ's sake.
How about Shady Playa?
Are you there?
Happy Halloween, Ghost.
It's not Halloween there, you asshole.
All right, 661, what's up?
Hey, girls, Merry Christmas.
Hey, Merry Christmas, man.
How's your day going?
It went all right.
It didn't go too bad for Christ's sake.
You know what I mean?
I got the wife cooking in the kitchen where she belongs.
All right?
712, what's up?
You mixed me with that stupid dyke.
Seriously, you mixed me with her?
Jesus Christ, man.
God damn it.
Look, this is Christmas here, right?
This is Christmas Eve, all right?
Capitalist Confessions Near Midnight00:11:15
We're approaching the third and final hour of the True Capitalist Radio broadcast on this Christmas Eve edition, all right?
And I just, I hope that you people can have enough respect, enough respect to not continue to troll, terrorize my broadcast, to besmirch my broadcast, all right?
Have a freaking soul.
Let's go ahead and keep going, all right?
Once again, for all you folks that are unaware, this is a special ghost Christmas, all right?
And if you haven't already done so, please retweet the broadcast, all right?
Go to the social networks, go to the forums, go to the blogs, and spread it around like wildfire and let everybody know that True Capitalist Radio is in effect and in the house, all right?
We got all kinds of little buttons underneath the program there.
You see the little player?
We got Facebook like buttons.
We got Google Plus buttons.
We got retweet this button, share this buttons.
Use and abuse those freaking buttons, baby, all right?
It's just a freaking click, for Christ's sake.
All right, Jesus Christ, as you can see, my heart's beating like a rabbit for Christ's sake.
I'm hype.
I'm giddy.
It's Christmas Eve, for Christ's sake.
I want to hear what you have to say about it.
All right.
What are you doing this Christmas, huh?
646-652-4869 is the number to call.
We got C.B. Fat Marshall.
You're on the air.
Hey, ghost.
How's it going?
Hey, I got a question.
Go for it.
When are you going to do your next segment of Capitalist Confessions?
Well, the next – well, you know, that's a pretty good question.
As a matter of fact, let's go ahead and do it right now.
That's right.
Since we are celebrating Jesus' birthday here in the next couple of hours, let's go ahead and have some true capitalist confessions right here, right now.
All right?
Let me go ahead and turn into Father Ghost here.
The Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
Hallelujah.
Holy hall and a hand in a hole in a hollow looking high like a hiney hole.
Now, what I'd like for people to do right now is I want you to call me at 646-652-4869, and I want you to confess your sins right here to everybody who's listening right now.
to Father Ghost, and you shall be saved before Jesus' birthday.
Let's see if we can get some capitalist confessions, shall we?
347, what do you have to confess, my son?
Hey, ghost, what's up?
Do you have anything to confess on here on capitalist confessions?
I do.
For the last few months, I have been making lots of remixes with you, such as this one.
That's not a confession, my son, all right?
I mean, obviously, by the overt feminine vernacular that you're sporting on this broadcast, it's obviously you're taking it up the pooper.
All right?
Anyway, let's continue going.
We want to hear capitalist confessions, and that's what we're taking calls for.
720, what do you have to confess?
You're getting scared.
I know, 720, it's hard to confess to the Lord.
All right, but go ahead and confess, my son.
I know.
You know, I know, I know there's fear.
There's fear in confession.
But there's nothing to fear.
All right?
As a matter of fact, you know what I'd like for everybody to do right now?
I'd like for everybody to just go ahead.
We're going to have a prayer right now.
That's right.
We're going to have a prayer right now.
And what I'd like for everybody to do is please put your hand on the computer screen right now.
All right?
I want you to put your hand on the computer screen right now.
And I'm going to send my holiness vibes through this fiber optically connected world that's called the internet for Christ's sake.
And the Lord is going to give me the power to send it through this internet right now.
All right?
So everybody, put your hand on the computer screen right now, and I want you to pray with me.
I want you to pray with me right now.
God, if you're listening in right now, God, please save the people that are out there having their hands on the computer screen right now.
Save the people of their sicknesses.
Save the people of their weaknesses.
Save the people from their own selves, Lord.
I ask you in your son's name, Jesus Christ, save the weak.
Save those out there that can't save themselves.
As for you, Satan, you're a fiend, Satan.
You're a disgusting, vile fiend that needs to go down in the pit of hell where you belong.
And what I want you to do is get back behind me, Satan.
Get back behind me.
You're a fiend, Satan.
You pray on the mind of the weak.
You pray on the mind of the young people.
And I want you all to get back behind me, Satan.
Oh, my God.
The Lord, the Lord has just told me that my holiness vibes that I have sent over this fiber optically connected world we call the internet has just cured somebody of cancer right now.
The Lord has just told me that this holiness revival that we are doing right now has just cured somebody of the AIDS.
That's right.
Somebody who had the AIDS now doesn't have it because they put their hand on the computer screen and got cured by yours truly.
It's a miracle.
It's a miracle on Christmas Eve.
Wait a minute.
The Lord's telling me something.
The Lord's telling me that somebody who had an amputated leg has just miraculously grown another one.
Oh my God, praise Jesus and the Lord.
Praise the Lord.
Oh my God, we got to take some capitalist confessions now.
We got to take some capitalist confessions right now.
I'm telling you right now, we got an internet revival going on and I can feel it, boy.
I can feel it.
And the only people complaining in the chat room are you religious Jesus freaks.
Hey, get off your goddamn soapbox and shut up and get some sense of humor for Christ's sake.
505, do you have any confessions, my son?
Hey, ghost, could I make a quick shout out before I confess?
Yeah, go ahead.
Hey, I want to give a shout out to Gary Oak and the teen liquid bronies out there.
Disgusting.
Shut up.
Chatine Liquid Bronies, you disgusting piece of crap.
Jesus Christ.
I mean, is there anybody out there with a confession here, please?
281, do you have a confession, my son?
Yes, I do, sir.
I raped his son in the poopa.
And he enjoyed it.
We can't hear it.
I raped your son in the poopa, and he enjoyed it.
I can't hear you again.
Your phone's coming in rather, rather low.
Can you get closer or at least scream up till we can't hear you?
I raped your son in the poopa.
You're getting really low, man.
Why are you getting lower?
Speak louder, asshole.
Louder.
Wow, we can't hear you.
Jesus Christ, you cheap-ass boat.
Speak louder.
Okay, I raped your son in the butt.
We can't even understand you, you dumb crocodile hunter piece of crap, for Christ's sake.
I mean, what do we got?
We got a crocodile hunter cocksuckers calling up now?
Huh?
Oh, Croik, I'm the crocodile hunter, and I'm going to see if I can stick this crocodile straight up my ass.
I mean, Jesus Christ, isn't this kind of late in Aussie land over there?
I mean, aren't y'all supposed to be up in the morning getting a shrimp in the Barbie or sticking a kangaroo head up your ass or something?
Jesus Christ, with these freaking Aussies, for Christ's sake.
And I'm getting hot in here.
Is it me or I'm getting hot?
Let me take off my freaking shirt for Christ's sake.
Freaking hot for Christ's sake, man.
It's freaking 30 degrees outside, and I'm freaking sweating.
I'm freaking sweating here.
All right, I'm freaking sweating.
Jesus Christ, give me the I'm freaking sweating out here.
You know what I mean?
I'm freaking sweating.
I need some more to drink.
That's what I need.
I need some more to drink.
And no, I'm not shirtless anymore.
I got a white shirt on, all right?
As a matter of fact, it's got a big sweat stain on it.
As a matter of fact, I was looking at it earlier in the mirror.
The sweat stain actually looks like Jesus.
I kid you not.
I actually sweated Jesus, and I'm considering eBaying this crap and hopefully getting about $15,000, $20,000 for Christ's sake.
I sweated Jesus.
All right?
I'm not joking, man.
I'm going to take a picture of it.
I sweated Jesus for Christ's sake.
Anyway, let me go ahead and take a sip of this.
All right.
This is to the Lord.
God.
Good stuff.
And hey, for all you people that are making fun of me that I sweated Jesus, hey, I'm holy.
All right?
That's what you don't understand.
I'm holy for Christ's sake, all right?
The God's only son looks highly upon me, and he decided to materialize himself with my sweat.
All right?
He utilized my sweat glands to materialize in this realm so that he can let all of his followers know that he's still around.
All right?
So don't be sitting here talking this garbage.
Matter of fact, I'm going to go, I'm going to sell this crap.
And when I sell this damn sweated Jesus t-shirt, when I sell this crap and make about $20,000, you idiot's going to be laughing then, huh?
You ain't going to be laughing then.
Anyway, let me go ahead and take some more callers here.
64665-24869 is the number to call.
It's a ghost Christmas, and I'm going to hear what you have to say about it.
We got Brinko War.
What's up?
You're on a Ghost Christmas.
Hey, Ghost, how you doing?
How's it going, man?
I'm fine.
I don't really have so much of a confession to make, but I am the violin guy.
And how do you like Metallica?
Metallica used to be good until they cut their hair and decided to become a bunch of wussies on the Lode album.
Suspicious Tumbleweed Swag Video00:05:10
Yeah, I kind of agree, but I mean, like, pretty fell out.
I mean, you know, they're ridiculous.
Are you kidding me?
I mean, come on.
I mean, did you hear that load album?
And then they made reload?
Then they made reload.
Jesus Christ, man.
How can you go from Master of Puppets to Reload?
Can you explain that to me, Metallica?
And then they tried to switch back with that Sane Anger song.
Remember that?
They were like, hey, dude, we're not getting that many more fans anymore fruiting up anymore.
We got to try to go back to our roots.
I mean, even Jason Newstead, you know, decided to say, ah, fuck Metallica.
And he left.
He left in the prime of their success because he's like, look, I was used to being a metal guy.
Now I feel like I'm doing a metal version of cold play.
It's stupid.
Metal died with dime bag Daryl, and that's all I got to say about that.
All right?
Anyway, we got Suspicious Tumbleweed.
What's going on, Suspicious Tumbleweed?
Hey, what's going on, Ghost?
Nothing much.
I wanted to say thank you for that tick-ass video that you posted showing off the true capitalist swag.
You're talking about a down-ass capitalist.
As a matter of fact, cheers to suspicious Tumbleweed, man.
Cheers.
Hey, ghost.
Yeah, what's going on?
My sister's saying that you're ridiculous.
Why don't you make her look lower than a leprechaun's nutsack?
Your sister is saying that I look ridiculous?
In what sense?
Talk to her.
She's shy now.
Oh, you're shy.
Oh, how convenient opinions quickly fade away when you're put in this spot, huh?
She called you a douchebag.
Oh, douchebag.
That's original for Christ's sake.
Why don't you tell her to get in the kitchen and make that turkey and ham?
All right.
Hilarious.
I'm just trying to kill zombies in Left 4 Dead.
Do you play any Valve games, Ghost?
You know, I used to play a couple of war games, but I stopped playing games because, you know, I got businesses to take care of.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Have you ever played Team Fortress at all?
No, I sure haven't.
Oh, because then you probably end up getting all those engineers as spy jokes that's that have been going around.
I always wondered that crap.
I've got yeah, I've got a true capitalist confession for you.
Okay, go for it, darling, tumbleweed-a-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Uh, Frebronies die, and I, uh, use your show sometimes as, uh, what do you want, Mom?
Get out of here.
I'm talking ghosts.
Anyways, makes me look great.
I'm cool.
Leave me alone.
Anyways, we use your show sometimes as a way instead of studying for tests at school in contemporary world class.
Well, that's actually a good thing.
You'll probably actually learn more listening to the show than listening to some blowhard giving his interpretation of history, you know?
Probably, ghost.
Yeah, I hear you.
Hey, suspicious tumbleweed.
You want to give out any shout-outs, man?
Because, I mean, you are the woman of the hour.
Oh, it's a great swag video, and I hope that other people actually go out and, you know, take notes from your video, for Christ's sake.
They're kicked ass.
Yeah, sure.
I'd like to give a shout-out to Gascara Captain Scarlett Note Party.
Well, that sounds pretty good, man.
Hey, thanks a lot, Suspicious Tumbleweed.
I appreciate the video.
Once again, and tell your sister, you know, don't knock it until you try it.
All right, ghost.
Thanks.
All right, that's right.
Oh, suspicious Tumbleweed.
And of course, for you folks that are unaware, she has just the latest member of the True Capitalist Ring of Honor.
And how you get there is very simple, folks.
All you have to do is purchase any product from the True Capitalist shop from now until January 8th.
And even if you do not receive the item before January 8th, but you purchase the item before or by January 8th, then I will follow you on Twitter for life.
Do you hear that?
For life.
All you have to do is purchase the product and put yourself on YouTube showing it off or do something creative with it, all right?
Anyway, the true capitalist shop is ghostpolitics.com, all right?
All one word, no underscores, baby, ghost politics.
All right, that's all there is to it in anything.
It doesn't matter if you buy the freaking baby bib.
It doesn't matter if you buy the shot glass.
It doesn't matter what you purchase.
All right?
No BS.
Ghostpolitics.com.
And anyway, I want to thank everybody who's already purchased products on there.
Everybody who purchased anything.
You freaking rule, baby.
And you deserve to be in the Capitalist Ring of Honor.
As a matter of fact, let's go ahead and name a few of these people that are in there right now.
All right.
All right.
We got Gumbogbo after him pissing and moaning like a little girl.
Ghostpolitics.com Product Sales Pitch00:09:21
We got Game On 95 in the house.
Suspicious Tumbleweed.
Gas Gara.
Cosmo CB in the place.
Desert Rose Radio.
Dobot Ricks.
Death to Entitlements.
Senator Poop Tickler.
And IG Films V2.
And of course, folks, if you want to be a part of that True Capitalist Ring of Honor, all you have to do is purchase anything.
Anything.
I mean, I know you got your Christmas money, baby.
All right?
Anything at the True Capitalist Radio shop.
Once again, www.ghostpolitics.
All one word, no hyphens or anything of that nature.
All right, spelled correctly.com.
All right, that's simple, baby.
That's simple.
Anyway, let's get back to the show here because, man, this time is running by fast.
I mean, it's running by fast.
I don't know about you, but it's 10-17 over here.
Jesus Christ, who else we got going on over here?
Let's take some more callers.
It's a ghost Christmas, and I hope everybody's having a good time.
I know I'm having a good time.
I'm giddy, for Christ's sake.
I'm giddy.
Anyway, let's, Arthur Wright, what's up?
You're on the horn.
What do you got to say about a ghost Christmas?
I have a confession.
Uh-oh, we got another confession.
Go ahead, my son.
I masturbated in the bathroom at my school.
Now, why would you masturbate in a boys' bathroom at your school?
Are you looking through a peephole or something?
No, I I was just feeling really, really sexual at that time.
Uh I didn't know what else to do.
I d yeah.
I mean, you couldn't wait till you get home and uh, you know, uh I brought out the uh I don't know, the the Vaseline or something.
I mean, you had to go to the boys' bathroom in your school and rub one out for Christ's sake.
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, yeah, you should be sorry, you sick son of a bitch.
You should be sorry.
You look sorry.
Idiot.
813, what's up?
You're on the horn.
I mean, I just said that freaking 15 minutes ago.
I said that freaking fifteen minutes ago, for Christ's sake, man.
I mean, Jesus Christ.
I mean, how many remixes are there, man?
We got instantaneous real-time remixes on this freaking Christmas Eve, man.
Jesus Christ.
I just said that crap 15 minutes ago, man.
I get another drink on.
Give me another drink.
Good stuff.
Anyway, remember, folks, I'm out here in Austin, Texas.
I've got my band out here.
We're about ready to put out an album, so be on the lookout for that.
My band is Michael J. Fox and the Shakes.
You know, we're very diverse when it comes to our music, and I hope that when we come out, you give us the support that we need.
Anyway, let's continue going.
This is a ghost Christmas here.
Who else do we got?
616, you're on the horn.
What do you think about a ghost Christmas?
Hello?
Yeah, what do you think about a ghost Christmas?
I have a confession, actually.
Okay, what's the confession?
I am a closet brony.
I don't know if you know what that means.
You know what?
I really don't care what it means.
You're not a closet anything.
Just by the sound of that voice, I know for a fact that you're taking in the pooper when everybody's out left from the boys' locker room and you're there with the big badass Jock and he's trying to do some down low brothers stuff on your ass.
You know it and I know it.
I can hear in your freaking voice for Christ's sake.
Who else do we got?
real capitalist confessions here, some true capitalist confessions here.
Equestrian citizen, do you have any true capitalist confessions, my son?
Oh, am I still on the line?
Oh, man.
Yeah, you're on the line.
What's going on?
Do you have a capitalist confession?
Oh, capitalist confession.
There's some shit I can confess.
Come on, there's got to be something you've done that you confessed about there.
I'll tell you what, have you ever done the fat girl on the stairwell routine?
That's disgusting.
I didn't do none of that.
I'm not trying to think.
What have I done that I can confess to?
Shit, dog.
I can't think of anything right now.
Let me just think a sec.
You sit there and think, all right?
I will come back to you just for a second.
We'll come back to you, all right?
How about 347?
You there?
Me?
Yeah.
All right, you have something to confess?
Like, you know, maybe you stared too long at an urban demographic while they're eating chicken?
No.
What I do have to confess is to everybody in the chat room, you have to listen in on this because this applies to you as well.
Because you probably did this as well.
I am the guy working on the Cans.wav Android app, and I've been slacking off lately.
My New Year's resolution is to finish it.
Well, I hope that you can do that, man.
I didn't realize you were an Android app creator.
You know, hopefully, you know, you can become the next Angry Birds, which is the most ridiculous, freaking dumbass game I've ever seen in my life.
But, you know, to each his own.
You know what I mean?
They're making money living lavish.
So all their, you know, more power to them.
219, what's up?
What do you think about a ghost Christmas?
Jesus Christ.
Of course, another deaf mute for Christ's sake.
I mean, how many deaf mutes are we going to have in one freaking show?
How many deaf mutes are we going to have?
Son of a bitch and deaf mute bastards.
609, what's up?
Fix your phone, jackass, all right?
Who the hell else do we got here?
281, what's up?
Jesus Christ, man.
Shouldn't you, Helen Teller jerk-offs be asleep for Christ's sake?
Jesus Christ, shouldn't your caretaker be putting you laying down in the bed already?
Jesus Christ.
Can't believe this crap.
I can't believe you people sometimes, man.
I can't believe you people.
Son of a bitch.
Anyway, let's take some more calls here.
This is a capitalist Christmas Eve edition.
This is a ghost Christmas, and I hope that you all are appreciating it for a little bit here.
Who the hell else do we got on the horn here?
Let's take some more callers.
We got who else we got?
307, what's up?
you're on the horn, shove that stupid damn large instrument up your anal passage.
All right, you son.
512, what's up?
Yeah, you're just fucking playing with your freaking Packer Shafts for Christ's sake.
Can some of you idiots say something for Christ's sake?
God damn it!
850, what's up?
Hey, ghost, what's up?
How's it going?
So far, so good.
My family has a little tradition on Christmas where we open up the stockings on Christmas Eve, and I just did, and I found a little printout of an order.
And lately, I've been asking my parents for a new computer because my laptop, well, it's shit.
And I just got myself an Alienware lap, an Alienware desktop.
So now.
Oh, man.
Alienware desktop, man.
You're talking about the ultimate gaming computer here.
Yes.
I'm so happy for this thing.
I appreciate it from my parents.
I've been working on it.
That's just nice, man.
No, seriously, that's nice of the folks, man.
Seriously.
You know your parents care about you.
As a matter of fact, let's go ahead and say, yay for that guy's folks for actually being parents in today's ridiculous, disgusting America.
Yay for your folks, man.
Even though I think Alienware is just a little bit overpriced.
But hey, it looks cool, man.
Especially the one with the inside light in the box.
Have you seen that one?
It's got the inside neon in it.
It's great.
It's cool.
Anyway, what are you laughing at, desktops?
You're the idiots that are out there using these application tablets.
Oh, you know what I'm going to do?
I'm going to utilize an application so that I can utilize it off somebody else's server as opposed to my own freaking computer.
Stupid jerk-offs.
Look, they're hating, man.
They're just hating on you.
You know what I mean?
They ain't having a good Christmas.
You know what they're getting?
Lumps of coal.
That's what they're getting.
You be sitting back playing on your Alienware desktop, gaming like a mofo, and these idiots are just going to be sitting there, you know, chewing on a meatbag.
That's what they're going to be doing.
They're going to be chewing on Jerry Sandusky's meatbag.
That's what they're doing.
Anyway, 541, you're on the horn.
4chan Pervert Calling Grandmother00:15:27
What's up?
You're on.
There you go.
Let's get what I got for Christmas for my mother.
What'd you get?
What'd you get for Christmas?
Dragonville, though.
You want to see it?
Oh, my God.
A dragon devil.
How how why?
You're just going to hang up?
You're going to tell me that you you got a dragon that you're just going to hang up for Christ's sake?
Jesus Christ, you people are pissing me off.
You know, I'm going to call somebody else.
That's what I'm going to do.
I'm going to call somebody else because you people are pissing me off.
You're pissing me off, all right?
That's what you're doing.
You're pissing me off.
So let me go ahead and call somebody else because, you know, we can't allow this to happen.
Ghosts can no longer be besmirched in this fashion.
No longer be besmirched.
So let me call somebody here because this just can't happen.
All right, you scumbags.
I can't let you do this to me.
Son of a bitch.
Anyway, hold on.
I'm trying to get something.
All right.
Hey, shut up.
All of you in the chat room, just shut up.
Just shut your stinking, smelly salmon holes.
Jesus Christ.
All right, who else we got here?
All right, we're going to go ahead and call somebody else, see if we can get somebody on the horn.
Maybe wish them a Merry Christmas of sorts.
Anyway, let me go ahead and do this.
No, this one just didn't even answer for Christ's sake.
Jesus Christ, pay your bill, man.
Goddamn cheap bastards.
I mean, how much is a freaking phone bill, man?
How much is a freaking phone bill?
Stupid idiots.
I mean, what do they got?
They got the freaking crickets now for $40 a month, unlimited, for Christ's sake, if you're a cheap bastard.
Jesus freaking Christ.
No, but the economy.
It's the economy.
Christ.
Pizza Hut.
Hello.
We got a delivery that we need to go ahead and deliver at this particular address.
You delivering treaties?
No, well, we got a special delivery here.
All right.
I mean, we're getting paid a lot of money to do this delivery.
As a matter of fact, the delivery, I'm looking at the computer out here.
It's actually from, I guess, Tijuana, Mexico.
If you know any family out there, Tijuana, Mexico.
Oh, yeah, I think I know Equestrian Citizen 978 right there.
Oh, you know that guy?
Yeah, yeah, and Hambone Ghost, super poop tickles.
Shut up, you Mexican.
Get that.
Get him off!
For Christ's sake, goddammit!
I knew he'd be listening.
Fruity bastard.
Anyway, let me look up another one.
That was lame.
That was freaking lame.
Who else we got?
We got here.
Let's try this guy.
I've got my list and I'm jacking it twice.
I'm going to find out who was not ill nice.
It's a ghost Christmas, you fruity ass.
Uh, hello?
Yes.
Did somebody just call over here, ma'am?
No.
I've got this phone number on my caller ID here.
And apparently somebody just called my grandmother.
She's in the corner, really, really upset.
And apparently there were some vulgarities and some kind of disgusting foul language said.
I looked on the caller ID and I saw your number.
And I'm just trying to figure out if there's anybody fooling on the phone or anything like that.
We only have one phone and I'm up wrapping Christmas presents.
Oh, you're rapping, bro.
I'm sorry about that.
I don't mean to be interrupting your festivities there.
But I mean, I just wanted to get to the bottom line, you know, because there is somebody calling.
And apparently, I mean, they just frightened my grandmother here.
She's kind of a little old, and maybe she misheard a couple of things.
But I just want to know, I mean, if there's somebody fooling around with the phone over there, I mean, do we have a problem?
I don't know.
I'll check and see around.
We only have one phone in this house.
Okay.
I mean, they were talking about something about Mr. 4chan or Mr. E-Bomb or something.
And, you know, we're going to go over there and do some nefarious things.
Is there somebody named Mr. E-bomb or 4chan there?
No.
Okay.
I'm just asking because these were the things that were being said.
I mean, I'm trying to get everything out of my grandmother here.
You know, I'm going to have to change her because she's unfortunately messed herself because of this whole situation.
So I just want to know.
I mean, you know, because it's Christmas.
I mean, if anybody should be doing anything, they should be calling up doing Christmas carols, saying Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah.
I mean, we're Jewish, though.
Happy Hanukkah, that sort of thing.
Okay, well, I'm terribly sorry.
I mean, I'm the only one that's up.
Everybody else is asleep.
Oh, okay.
It may have been that son of yours who wants to be a 4channer.
That's probably who it is, right?
I don't know what that is.
Yeah, he's one of these 4channers, right?
Just ask him.
Say, look, son, are you hanging around 4chan?
Because apparently you're being caught up in some disgusting, despicable prank haul situation by a Jew.
Okay, I will ask, King.
All right.
Well, thank you very much, and Merry Christmas, and don't have too much eggnog.
All right, thank you very much.
La Hana.
Bye-bye.
All right.
All right.
He's going to get himself an ass whooping now, huh?
So you're going to, what the hell is 4chan?
What the hell is 4chan and E-bombs?
Jesus Christ.
Anyway, she's rapping presents.
She's rapping presents for Christ's sake.
Anyway, we got 30 minutes left.
And you know what that time it is.
You know what it means, right?
You know what time it is.
It's time for Christmas radiography.
That's right, folks.
It's radio graffiti, everybody's favorite time of the broadcast, where you can participate in the broadcast right here, right now.
All you have to do is give me a call right now at 646-652-4869.
And when I call on your area code or when I call on your Skype name, you will have exactly three to four seconds to say whatever it is that you have to say that's on your mind.
All right?
Radio graffiti.
That's right, folks.
All right.
And don't be a damn hell and teller deaf mute when I call on your ass.
All right, jerk dicks.
Seriously.
All right, let's go ahead and take it from the bottom here.
Area code 219 radio graffiti.
Hey there, Ghost.
I just wanted to call and say Merry Christmas.
And I want to make a shout out and have a little question.
Well, Merry Christmas was good enough.
Cosmo Brockington, Radio Graffiti.
Go shut down, go shut down, honey Cosmo.
Rebo.
609, Radio Graffiti.
Stupid dumb Helen Keller, deaf mute, for Christ's sake.
The Chiz, Radio Graffiti.
I'm going to have my grandmother.
The black guy hangs.
Shut up.
513, Radio Graffiti.
Yo, ghost, Merry Christmas.
Drinking some Sam out of the night.
Have a good one.
Hey, man, I appreciate it.
Thanks for calling up.
512, Radio Graffiti.
Another Helen Keller, deaf mute, for Christ's sake.
219, Radio Graffiti.
Hello there.
I just wanted to tell you that Nees Lappington just says Merry Christmas and a little fuck you, man.
Well, you know, once you take about 10 steps away from my freaking butt crack with that talk, there, boy.
Jesus Christ.
And then sound off like you got a pair.
All right, I'm sick and tired of hearing males call up my show sounding like this.
Um, how you doing, ghost?
I wanted to call you and let you know.
Shut up.
Just sit there and shut your stinking smelly hole, all right?
I bet your whole body smells like the inside of an ass.
You're so fruity.
971, radio graffiti.
Ghost, come led.
Merry Christmas.
Who is this?
Sneak a lot.
Who do you think it was?
Ah, Jesus Christ.
What do you Russians didn't celebrate Christmas for Christ's sake, you atheist vodka drinking pricks?
Well, you know, it's all about pleasant and stuff.
But yes, I'm atheist.
Don't celebrate it like Christians to, you know, what we do, we drink vlog, you know, eat boss and go shoot things, you know, in the woods with AK-47.
Yeah, that sounds like a great time there, you cockeyed Russian, mouth-breathing piece of Vladimir Putin worship and crap.
918, Radio Graffiti.
Mom, no, I don't want it to have that mustard on it.
John, I told you this already.
Jesus, these idiots are fighting over a hot dog.
It's Christmas Eve, you idiot, and you're having a hot dog with mustard.
502, Radio Graffiti.
Hey, ghost, Merry Christmas.
Shout out to my dad in Afghanistan, and just have a good year, man.
Hey, thanks a lot, man, and I appreciate you calling up.
732, Radio Graffiti.
Hey, I just wanted to let you know that you're a grand dragon and a racist.
Shove it up, your ass, all right?
I'm not a racist, and I think that everybody pretty much knows about that on the internet, all right?
Everybody who's a real true capitalist fan knows that I am a melting pot of friendship.
I don't know how many times I have to say this, but I happen to have a whole bunch of friends that happen to be black.
All right, I happen to have a whole bunch of friends that happen to be Hispandex.
I happen to have a whole bunch of friends that happen to be Oriental and WAP and Camel Jockey and Kraut and Mick.
I mean, I've got all kinds of friends.
So for you people to sit over here and call me some kind of a goddamn grand dragon racist or anything of the sort is a freaking slanderous lie.
And you idiots better stop saying that or I've got two words for you.
Punitive damages, baby.
That's all I got to say.
Now let's get back to radio graffiti for Christ's sake.
813 Radio Graffiti.
I like to take fists full of slimy space.
Yeah, I'm sure you do their fruit bowl.
All right.
That panda, radio graffiti.
Ibenezzo and I hate ghosts.
We're so fresh you can suck Gernak swag.
Shut up.
All right.
Who else we got?
We got Meredith DePreza.
Radio graffiti.
Have a happy Halloween, Halloween, Halloween.
Have a happy Halloween, Halloween.
Shove it up, your ass, you idiot.
615, Radio Graffiti.
Hey, Ghost, what's up?
Uh, the sky.
646, radio graffiti.
Stupid, no personality having idiot.
502, radio graffiti.
I got created Juno so hard.
Tinjur keeps flying out to me with gummy.
Shut up, you sick pervert.
You're a sick-ass pervert, and I can tell from here.
Shady player, radio graffiti.
How about I take ten steps towards your butt, crack?
You shut up.
You sound like an autistic freak from where I'm standing.
Send views as Radio Graffiti.
Stupid morons.
614, radio graffiti.
Ghost, I just filled up my tub with gravy.
Let's swim around it like a couple of hambones.
Oh, my.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
It's Tub Guy over here.
You're actually bathing in gravy for freaking Christmas?
Is this a freaking tradition of sorts or what?
You're damn right.
You should come over and join me.
It'll be totally legit.
You know, you're a sick son of a bitch.
You know that?
I mean, every goddamn show you call up, and you always want me to go into a freaking tub with you for Christ's sake.
And then you end the goddamn sentence with a, oh, my.
I mean, do you understand how fruity that is?
How about you explain it to all of us?
Yeah, you're a fruit ball gay bat.
Get this ass damn out of here for Christ's sake.
He wants to bathe with gravy for Christ's sake with me.
Sick, man.
516, Radio Graffiti.
Hey, ghost.
Merry Christmas.
Hey, Merry Christmas.
405, Radio Graffiti.
Hey, how's it going, Ghost?
Tasty Friday here.
I was wondering, are you a melting pot of alcohol?
Stupid assholes.
Let me tell you something.
I am a melting pot of friendship, idiots.
Do you understand that?
A melting pot of friendship.
I happen to have a whole bunch of friends of all races, of all sizes, of all genders.
Do you understand that?
Male, female, and trans-testicle.
Although, you know, if you happen to be a trans-testicle, you know, you know, I'll shake your hand with a rubber glove and all that.
But, you know, all that stuff.
Anyway, who else we got?
We got Aericode 361, Radio Graffiti.
Have a great Christmas, Ghost, and I hope you're having a great day.
Yeah, I'm not having too bad of a day for Christ's sake.
I'm drinking some Louie.
That's what I'm doing.
Huh?
Birthdays was the worst days, but now I'm sipping on Louie when I'm Thursday, you know?
Anyway, who else we got?
760, Radio Graffiti.
My ass bleeds for the freaking bronies.
Shut up, you freaking bronies.
All right, enough of that shit.
661, radio graffiti.
All I want for Christmas is for you to tune in to surge radio.org.
Okay, we'll go ahead and DDoS that.
We'll make sure of that.
615, Radio Graffiti.
Hey, what's up?
I'm your dad's pecker shaft or something.
I don't know.
616, Radio Graffiti.
Hey, Ghost, I just wanted to say that there's no sky for cacto.
You picked a pack of pick of peppers up your ass.
Radio Graffiti DDoS Threats00:15:54
I didn't even understand you.
Johnny Walker, radio graffiti.
Take a piss on my son.
Goddamn son of a bitch.
Let me tell you something right now, you six sons of bitches.
I told you not to talk about my family, and I mean it.
You six sons of bitches, just freaking audio splicing pieces of crap.
There's nothing funny about messing with a man's family.
803, radio graffiti.
So she's not the only dinner for two, and I think abortions are horrible.
Have a screwy Christmas boo.
I can't even understand you for Christ's sake.
717 radio graffiti crisis all treble for Christ's sake 203, radio graffiti.
Hey, Golk, long time listener here.
And what's going on with all these prank calls you've been getting lately?
It's, you know, it's starting to really piss me off.
Hey, it's starting to piss you off.
Hey, it's pissing me off.
What are you talking about, for Christ's sake, man?
These idiots won't stop.
I mean, have you done a YouTube search for Ghost Capitalist lately, for Christ's sake?
Huh?
Have you done a Google search for True Capitalist Radio?
It's sick, man.
They're making fun of me all over the internet, for Christ's sake, man.
I mean, there's nothing funny about what's going on here, for Christ's sake, all right?
My show is serious business.
I've been saying this for a long period of time.
And let me tell you something right now.
I am taking the necessary steps to make sure that I get punitive damages out of your ass!
All of you.
I'm not joking.
973, radio graffiti.
Hey, ghost.
Why are you such a massive faggot?
That was lame, for Christ's sake.
Neese Lappington, radio graffiti.
Here he goes with his vibrator.
For Christ's sake.
646, radio graffiti.
Hey, did you give a present to the engineer?
That's none of your freaking business, all right?
I pay the engineer.
That's good enough, all right?
281, radio graffiti.
Hey, ghost.
Merry Christmas.
I wish you a Merry Christmas.
I wish you a motherfucking Christmas and shit.
That was horrible.
You're a disgusting piece of human crap.
You're a pimple on the ass of life.
And I can tell that just by the way you're talking.
Moo for me, Radio Graffiti.
Hey, Ghost, I think you misunderstood me earlier.
I'm sorry, man.
I was just trying to tell you that I wanted to wish you Merry Christmas.
I'm not trolling.
And this.
Here we go.
Here's Moo for Christ.
What did I tell you, Moo?
What did I tell you in the beginning of the show, Moo?
I said that I would auction off your mother if you called back and besmirched my show.
And by God, you besmirched my show.
So that's it.
We're having an online auction right here, right now.
Everybody, put your bids on the computer screen right now because we're going to auction off this heifer.
All right?
Hey, hey, everybody, this is Moose Ma.
Moo, go ahead and go ahead and say something, Moose Ma.
As you can see, this is Moose Ma right here.
We're going to auction off his mother on the internet.
All right?
So let me go ahead and get some auction on right now.
Let's go ahead and put some bids on the screen.
Come on now.
Let me file.
Let me handle me $20,000, $30,000, $30,000, $40, $40,000, $40,500, $50, $50,500, the dirty ass hoe.
She'll lick a dirty hole.
She'll make a say whoa.
She'll make you lick it hoe and make a daddy hoe.
Come on, Alimita Valme, 30 valve, vote me, 40 validators, hold on, vote, over there.
To this gentleman right over here for a half a bit.
Anyway, you got anything else to say, Moo?
Yeah, I was trying to tell you, man.
I'm not trolling you.
I'm not besmirching your show.
I was calling you.
Yeah, yeah, you're besmirching me right now.
What are you talking about, Moo?
You're besmirching me right now.
Jesus Christ.
Who else do we got going on over here?
508 radio graffiti.
Fucking random shit.
Yeah, we can't even understand you because your phone sucks.
All right.
816, radio graffiti.
Ghost, I hope these pony humpers and splicers choke on their EBT paid for turkey this Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Woo!
Yeah, I heard that, baby.
I heard that.
I heard that, baby.
All right, who else we got going on over here?
We got Poco Kitty, Radio Graffiti.
Shove it up your ass.
All right.
860, Radio Graffiti.
Tudor.
That's a good piece of ass.
I didn't even understand that.
Code Monster, Radio Graffiti.
Hey, ghost.
Guess what?
My mom got me for food stamps.
What did your mother get you?
She got me a dragon.
Do you believe it?
Jesus Christ.
I can hear it.
I can hear it in your voice that you love prostate massages on a daily basis.
530, radio graffiti.
Jesus Christ.
425, radio graffiti.
Mr. Speaker.
Yeah, what was you, you stupid milky liquor?
803, radio graffiti.
Our future wolf can't kill them all.
Don't give a crap.
I'm sorry.
Shut up.
971, radio graffiti.
Ghost, come back.
Don't care why I say Merry Christmas.
God damn it, you stupid cock-eyed Russian.
God damn it!
Shove it up your ass, man.
You mouth breather.
Jesus Christ.
Who the hell else do we got?
Zora Hawks, Radio Graffiti.
That's right.
Have yourself a merry ghost Christmas, yeah.
Oh, that was great, Exara Hawks.
Everybody, give it a round for Xara Hawks, the man that is the penist of True Capitalist Radio.
Merry Christmas to Xara Hawks.
Great playing as usual, and I hope that you better be reciting some of that in some of the recitals somewhere.
All right.
530, Radio Graffiti.
Yeah, here's another deaf mute.
Who else we got?
831, Radio Graffiti.
Yo, ghosts, what's up, man?
Who's this?
This is Andy.
Andy, what do you want?
Show him say something.
You want to say what's up?
Yeah.
Are you friends with Ash Hole by any chance?
No, he's a faggot.
Oh, yeah?
Well, you happen to know him?
Yeah, I've heard his gay faggot comments.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
So y'all are like enemies in elementary school and all that?
No, I think we live in different states.
Well, you think you live in different states for Christ's sake?
Look, you should be in.
You should be in bed, you little brat.
You should be in bed waiting for Santa Claus to deliver your lump of coal that you deserve, Andy.
Could have come up with a better name than Andy for Christ's sake.
Jesus Christ.
Freaking Andy.
530, Radio Graffiti.
Shut up.
Who else we got?
We got 215 Radio Graffiti.
You're just playing with your pecker shaft.
111, radio graffiti.
Another Helen Keller deaf mute, for Christ's sake.
How about Navy Husky?
Do you got your shit together, Radio Graffiti?
Cup of coffee, slime girls, internet button stalkers, girls, Alabama black snakes, magnets, jelly asses, DVT cars, flaming nipple chops, freaking ties, trans testicles, fruit bowls.
You stupid bitch.
I mean, is that funny to you, Navy Husky, when you make fun of me like that?
Is that funny when you make these stupid remixes?
Is that cute to you?
Is that cute to you, Navy Husky?
God damn it!
Oh, what?
Cat out your tongue now, boy?
What you don't want to say?
You don't want to show your little fritty ass voice, boy?
Yeah, that's what I thought, Navy fat-ass husky.
Just sit there and shut up.
All right?
Sit there and shut your stupid mouth up.
Shut your mouth when you're talking to me, boy.
Who else do we got going on over here for Christ's sake, man?
Got these stupid goddamn troll terrorists completely besmirching my show, and I don't appreciate it.
520, radio graffiti.
Kane is very disappointed in you, ghost.
Well, tell him to meet my dick up till he hiccups, all right?
918 Radio Graffiti.
Just shut up.
Shut your stupid staking hole.
All right, shut up.
Who else we got?
219, radio graffiti.
Hello, I just wanted to say that if you are friendship is pot of gold, is it magical and get shot?
All right?
Stop being a stumbling, mumbling little jerk.
You sound like a tard, for Christ's sake.
I was waiting for you to break off and say, my name is Billy.
My favorite number is zero.
My favorite color's glare.
My favorite subject's lunch.
You stupid, dumb, freaky little tard.
No disrespect to, you know, mentally handicapped people, of course.
I mean, this is just all tongue-in-cheek.
You know what I mean?
But that guy was a tard.
703, radio graffiti.
Oh!
It's a freaking vibrator, for Christ's sake.
253, radio graffiti.
Hey, ghost.
I was just calling the thing, Merry Christmas.
You, the engineer, and everybody else.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
I appreciate it, man.
I appreciate the Merry Christmas because we're having ourselves a Merry Little Christmas on this Christmas Eve.
213, Radio Graffiti.
If you don't vote for Barack Obama, you're a racist.
Oh, shut up, you stupid liberal.
You see, here come the liberals.
Here they come.
Here they go.
If you don't love the Barack Obama, you're a racist.
Freakin' break.
203, radio graffiti.
I go to a long time listener here.
I called about ten minutes ago.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
You bore the balls off of me.
Elderly the disciple, radio graffiti.
Another Helen Keller deaf mute, for Christ's sake.
918, radio graffiti.
And it's going.
How many of you are there?
Like three or four of you idiots having a circle jerk on a speaker phone?
What the hell's going on?
Well, it's just me and my girlfriend.
I just wanted to say Merry Christmas, man, and hey, could they take a shot with you?
Hey, yeah, no problem here.
Hey, take a shot.
Hey, cheers to you and your chick today on Christmas Eve, and hopefully you get your wiener whack.
Cheers, man.
Cheers.
And let me tell you something.
If you buy her a diamond, she pretty much has to.
That's all I gotta say.
Anyway, let's just pretty much go on to another.
Let's go on to another call here.
Let's take it to the end, all right?
Let's take it all the way to the end.
Cindy's radio graffiti that's a bad attempt at a tarred 5-7-1, Radio Graffiti.
Hello?
Hello?
Go.
Five seven one.
What is this?
Yeah.
It's it's Ashley.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
What do you want, Ash hole?
So I'm in the Vegas right now.
You're in Vegas right now?
You should be in bed waiting for Santa Claus, or in your case, Poncho Claus, since you're a Miss Fandex.
Well, you know, I told you about the I'm going to skate the hotel.
Yeah, it sounds like you're in a hotel crapper, for Christ's sake.
I mean, what are you doing at the hotel?
Um, I'm waiting to get a hooker, you know, to skate.
What?
What?
What are you talking waiting to get?
What are you talking about, Ashley?
You're eight years old.
I'm fourteen.
I'm old enough.
You're not old enough, Ashole.
Don't give me that crap, all right?
You don't even have enough puberty yet to sound like a man.
I mean, you sound like you literally are one of the kids from Santa Claus, too.
Oh, well, my mom calls you frantasma.
And also, I want to tell you that I have puberty, you know.
It's done.
You know, I'm 14 years old.
I know, hey, hey, Ashole, you tell that old Vieha of a mother, chupa me, wevo, comicho diso, all right?
You tell her that.
You tell her, choo bam me wevo, comicho diso.
Bing shape pain day, huh?
All right?
Freaking kid.
You're gonna hook up with a hooker for Christ's sake.
Eight-year-old kid.
You ever hear ash hole there?
Eight-year-old kid, for Christ's sake.
Jesus Christ.
And speaking of Jesus Christ, we got Bubba Jesus a la Christ radio graffiti.
Hey, ghost.
Hey, I want to throw you bum with my penis.
Yeah, here's this overgrown man-child there.
Killer Clown, Radio Graffiti.
Enough with a freaking hambone remixes, jerk dicks, all right?
780, radio graffiti.
Yeah, shout out to my boy, Donovan Boulet, and Herman Kin is a fucking hambone.
Yeah, shut up, all right.
I mean, you're making a shout-out to somebody with a fruity-ass French last name, huh?
Who did you say, Don Belouvier, or whatever that is?
Go go eat a frog, you idiot.
All right, shut up.
281, radio graffiti.
Hello?
Hey, good boy, mate.
417, radio graffiti.
What was the phone call about?
You want a diathole?
Oh, oh, what happened?
True Capitalist Radio Sign Off00:07:00
Would I just talk to your ma?
We didn't call you.
We were gone.
Right, shut up.
Shut up.
You're the idiot that calls up all the time.
You call up all the time saying all this racial crap.
Huh?
What does your mom got to say about your racist crap?
I haven't called your show in weeks.
Yeah, shut up.
Just sit there and shut your stupid mouth.
I hope that your mom beats your ass this Christmas.
How about that?
I hope your mom beats your ass this Christmas, you stupid sack of crap.
Did you hear that?
And now, all of a sudden, oh, I haven't called you in such a long time.
You called me the last show, you stupid, ungrateful, racist prick.
And hey, mom, if you're listening, your son is a useless racist prick.
If you don't believe me, listen to my show.
I got all the archives in the archive.
You'll hear them.
417 is the area code, all right?
And listen to how many times he calls, all right?
BlogtalkRadio.com/slash ghost, mom.
All right, you hear that, mom?
BlogtalkRadio.com/slash ghost.
And take a look at the archives.
Your son calls up and says the N-word.
He says racial slurs, for Christ's sake.
And all of a sudden, he's going to be like, oh, I didn't do it.
And all of a sudden, I call and talk to his mammy.
And what happened?
He didn't like that.
I didn't like the fact that I was calling talking to his mammy, huh?
Woo!
Anyway, I'm out of here, folks.
All right, that's about it.
It's been fun.
It's been great.
It's been a great time.
It's been a great ghost Christmas, for Christ's sake.
As a matter of fact, once again, anybody who buys any merchandise from the True Capitalist shop, all right, from now until January 8th, I will follow you on Twitter.
All you have to do is make a YouTube video of anything that you purchase on the True Capitalist shop.
And of course, the True Capitalist shop is ghostpolitics.com.
Do you understand that?
Ghostpolitics.com.
And of course, if you want to follow me on Twitter, folks, the Twitter name to follow is GhostPolitics.
All one word, no underscores, right there, Ghost Politics.
Follow me for Christ's sake, all right?
I mean, it's a great time.
Anyway, this was a great Christmas Eve edition of the True Capitalist Radio broadcast.
I want to say Merry Christmas to everybody.
Happy Hanukkah, happy Kwanzaa.
Thank you for tuning in with me, folks.
I will be here Monday, same place, same time, 4 to 7 p.m. Central Standard Time.
And I want you to be here.
BlogTalkRadio.com/slash ghost.
Anyway, Merry Christmas.
Thank you for tuning in with me for Christ's sake.
Oh, my God, this is great, isn't it?
Anyway, folks, we are officially off the air.
But once again, now that we're officially off the live stream, I wanted to tell everybody thank you.
Thank you for listening into the True Capitalist Radio on this very family-esque edition on Christmas Eve.
I know everybody's got families.
Everybody's probably falling asleep while waiting for Santa Claus, the whole nine yards.
But, you know, genuinely, thank you very much.
It's been a great time.
Make sure to be here Monday, 4 to 7 p.m. Central Standard Time.
And make sure to tell everybody.
Make sure to tell everybody that you know about this broadcast.
All right, because remember, this broadcast is purely on the word of mouth.
I mean, this is purely internet viral capability here, all right?
Because we don't advertise.
We're not spamming the show or anything like that.
It's all about you, the fans, the content users.
And I want to thank you genuinely for Christ's sake.
So go out there and spread the word.
Let everybody know about True Capitalist Radio.
All right?
I mean, because let me tell you something right now.
You know what I find sick?
You know what I find sick to my stomach?
We're all of a sudden seeing these two-bit has-been comedians trying to come into my business.
They're trying to come into my business, which is podcasting and internet broadcasting.
Did you notice this?
I mean, we got assholes like Jay Moore, Jamie Fox.
I mean, here on Blog Talk Radio, did anybody see we got freaking Ross the intern?
We got Ross the intern trying to take my job.
They're trying to take my job.
Well, let me tell you something right now.
They got fierce competition with this man right here.
All right?
Let me tell you something right now.
This right here, this man right here is the podcaster of the internet.
All right?
And I will go up against anybody on the internet that thinks that they are the podcast of podcasts.
Do you understand that?
You're goddamn right.
Ghost is coming up on here.
He's kicking ass.
He's taking names for Christ's sake.
All right.
He is laying digital backhands on anybody who calls up attempting to besmirch his show.
Moreover, this man is providing rich content that cannot be duplicated or replicated because, goddamn it, it is just that damn good.
Anyway, folks, I want to thank you very much for tuning in with me.
I'm going to be here once again Monday, 4 to 7 p.m.
I hope you have a great Christmas.
Don't let the family get to you.
Don't go into any kind of domestic violence situations.
And sure as hell, don't drink too much eggnog for Christ's sake.
Thanks for everybody.
Hey, everybody who's saying great show.
Hey, great audience, baby.
Great audience.
Anyway, thank you very much.
I am out of here.
I love you all.
Even the idiot jerkoff trolls.
I love you all.
I'm out of here, folks.
Long live the capitalist movement and have a merry, merry Christmas from the bottom of my heart.
And have a merry, merry Christmas.
And don't troll too hard.
That's right, folks.
I'm out of here.
And follow me on Twitter because you never know.
I could have a chat session.
I could have a new show.
Who the hell knows?
I'm out of here.
You've been listening to True Capitalist Radio.
The thoughts, views, ideas, comments, and opinions of the host of this show are absolutely his.
Catch more live episodes Monday through Friday from 3:30 to 6:30 Central.
Or check out archive shows at blogtalkradio.com.
True Capitalist Radio.
That's it.
That isn't just the sound of the 2016 Mercedes-Benz C-Class high-strength steel and aluminum frame being formed.
It's the sound of conviction.
Conviction that created a lighter, quicker, and more efficient C-Class, whose beautiful form commands attention, while its more powerful, fuel-efficient engine demands to be driven.
This is what conviction sounds like.
Now discover what it feels like in a 2016 Mercedes-Benz Class